The Taste of Pony Mouth

by Good Christian Ethesto

Rating: mature
Tags: Dinky Hooves, Romance, Sex, Random, Derpy Hooves, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1301

Q and Diabolic Tutee always wondered what a pony's mouth tastes like. Now, being in Equestria, they'll finally get their chance to find out.

Q and Diabolic Tutee always wondered what a pony's mouth tastes like. Now, being in Equestria, they'll finally get their chance to find out.

This definitely isn't just a blatant shipfic between myself and another fimfic user

Published 2013-11-05 02:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-05 02:50:03 UTC

I love you to bits, I wanna kiss you on the lips.

Dreppy Hooves didn't know what exactly she was looking at. Her brain was naive, still so full of sunshine sprinkles and goo, and she couldn't understand why anyone would do what she was witnessing. She decided to voice her confusion. "What in the name of my rubba-dub-dubbable pony tummy are you two doing?"

If the strangers heard her, they certainly didn't show it, and just continued rubba-dub-��dubbing their tongues together like two mighty meat-snakes wrestling for dominance. Their lengths undulated and spasmd in a way that was both disturbing and fascination, coating one another in layer after layer of fresh saliva. Drerpy tried to avert her eyes from the disgusting show, but her morbid curiosity won out in the end and she found that she just couldn't turn away.

Q, some dreck from Startreck or something, moaned audibly, clearly happy with the way things were going while Diabolic Tutee remained quiet and mysterion. Ever since the death of his parents and the betrayal of the one he once loved, he'd taken an oath of silence. Only when he'd taken sweet vengeance and his enemies lay dead at his feet would he once again rattle his beautiful vocal cords. And on that day, the very Earth would weep at the sheer beauty of his voice.

"Hey Mommy, what's going on in here?" asked Dinkles, Derpry's disgusting pony spawn, as she walked into the room. Her obscenely large eyes instantly wandered over to the two hu-humans, locked in an epic tongue battle. The skill and dexterity they showed with their powerful tasting-muscles was something to behold, and Dinkler quickly took his place at Drerpy's side. "Woah, this is the coolest thing I've ever seen!"

Dreppy turned and frowned at her baby. She was only like four years-old. Not nearly old enough to be exposed to tongue play of this caliber. "Drinky, you shouldn't be down here! Go back up to your room!"

Unfortunately, Derpry's angry demands were put on the back-burner of Dinkly's miniscule mind, as the two hu-humans pulled their tongues apart finally. They both wore victorious smirks on their faces as though each thought themselves the victor in their little engagement.

Diabolic Tutee was the first to speak. His throat opened for the first time in decades, creating an ungodly suckling sound that would make eldritch tentacle monsters feel tingly in their tummies as he inhaled a breath composed 78.09% from nitrogen, 20.95% from oxygen, 0.93% from argon, and 0.039% from carbon dioxide along with some other, less-abundant gasses.  With his lung-sacks filled to the brim he exhaled as the tiny fingers in his trachea strummed his vocal cords in just the right way, letting sweet, succulent music flow from his gaping mouth-flap. "Don't be that way, Dreppy. What Q and I do is a beautiful and natural thing. You should be honored to witness such an act of God first-hand. Or should I say, first-HOOF?"

Then Q just had to go and open his yap. Diabolic Tutee had half a mind to give him a fat lip at the time. Thankfully for him, the other half is autistic from overexposure to ponies. "I wonder what pony tongues taste like..."

Dreppy, not understanding that it was a rhetorical question, opened her gob to answer. "Well that's easy. Pony mouths taste like... Like..." It was then that she realized she had no idea what pony mouths tasted like. She had only ever tasted her own mouth, and, even then, it wasn't distinct in any way. Her body had grown used to the flavor of her own insides long before she had memory. "Well, truthfully, I have no idea."

Then she got an idea. An awful idea. Dreppy got a wonderful, awful idea. She'd just ask her daughter. "What does your mouth taste like, Dringus Dinky?"

"It tastes just like a pony mouth, I suppose."

Q rubbed his chin with a hand, using the rounded tips of his dexterous grasping-claws to comb through his budding neck pubes. "We've got quite a pickle here. It seems that neither of you know what a pony mouth tastes like." Then, inspiration came, and he pointed one sausage-like finger to the sky in euphoria. "Why don't you guys taste each other's mouths?"

Dreppy didn't like the idea, but she couldn't think of a better one. With a reluctant sigh, she turned to her young daughter, sizing her up with her retard-eyes. Her smiling mouth did look tasty, and it wasn't gay since they were family members. Deciding that there was no other option, Dreppy reached out with her tentacle-like hooves, pulling her daughter in closer. Her lips puckered as they planted directly on that of Dinky, making a 'pomf' noise. All Dreppy could think about was how soft her daughter's lips were. Of course, she wasn't finished yet.

She opened her mouth, her overly-muscular tongue ejecting from her maw like an angry moray eel, pounding its way into Dinky's mouth with little remorse or pity. Its body, slick with saliva, forced its way atop Dinky's tongue, mounting it. Drinky's tongue wriggled and rolled like an angry crocodile, trying to escape, but all it managed to do was to spread its saliva.

Dreppy's eyes widened and she pulled her tongue back, a trail of saliva stretching between her and her daughter. "Mmmm. Your mouth tastes like prepubescent vaginas." It wasn't until she took a closer look did she notice her mistake. Her daughter's backside was now facing her, the vagina tongue poking its way between the lips and giving a raspberry. "Oh, oops."

Unfortunately, Diabolic Tutee was impatient. He wanted to know what pony mouths tasted like, and he wanted to know now. "Enough of these games. I'll find out for myself what your mouths taste like." Dozens of tentacles burst from his chest cavity, wrapping around both the little ponies in a hentai-like fashion. "It's time for a barbecue!"

With little tact, the tentacles forced their way inside each pony's mouth, wrapping around their tongues, and pulling them free of their confines. A short cooking montage later and the group was seated around a picnic table in the park. Dreppy and Dinkles looked on hopefully as Diabolic Tutee pulled the thoroughly-cooked tongues from the charcoal grill with a pair of tongs and put them on a paper plate. He sniffed the air, reveling in the scent of cooked meat as it assaulted his nostrils. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the bees were spreading tree semen on everything. It was a perfect day. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Then Diabolic Tutee's foot suddenly snagged on a thing. Time seemed to slow down as the cooked tongues flung through the air.

"Noooooooooooo!" Shouted Q in slow-motion as he tried to catch them. Alas, his reflexes just weren't good enough. The tongues traveled several meters through the air before hitting the ground and bouncing into a mole hill.

Diabolic Tutee and Q shared a sad look as their shoulders sagged. "It looks like we'll never taste pony mouth," spouted Q in defeat.

"Nugh hurgh a shnurghle. Flurgh flug ringus pingus dingus," said Dreppy confidently.

"Yerghle shmirg!" agreed Dinky.

Diabolic Tutee instantly stood upright, a smile on his dingus face. "They're right, Q. There's a whole world of pony mouths out there for us to taste."

Q turned, his gorgeous eyes locking on those of Diabolic Tutee and a smirk tugging at the edge of his mouth. "Your mouth is the only one I care about tasting, babe."

"Oh Q," gushed Diabolic Tutee. "I love you to bits, I want to kiss you on the lips." And so, after priming his kissing-lips, he did just that, and they all lived happily ever after.

The end........?