Tellytubbys
“Yo, fam, so what we gonna do today?” said Tinkle Winkle.
“Fuck shit,” replied Dipsay.
“Dat's right,” said Lala. “All over the carpet.”
“There's no carpet,” said the other bitch.
“Shut the fuck up you stupid infidel.”
Lala got a huge sword out of her back pocket and thrusted it into Poo's eye.
“ouch,” said Po(o).
“die,” said Lala.
“Hey about we get some pussy over here?” inquired Tinkle
“Ye, that sounds great. I can feel something growing in my pants right now,” said Dipsay.
“Oi, you lot. Shut the cunt up, I'm trying to suck my own sucker.”
“NooNoo mate, I swear if you chat shit again i'll be up in your face.”
“shit off, phallus-face,” said NooNoo.
NooNoo fired up his nose and sucked the shit out of his friends.
“i ain't taking any of this crap from you no more.”
“you should have chosen your words more wisely," said Lala
“Sick and tired of you're shit. I'm fucking bored of cleaning up after you sloths. Get inside of me.”
In a very, very, very, bad mood, Noonope sucked up the stupid coloured things into his hole.
“Where the fuck are we now?” asked Po(o).
Tinky then gave a winky before tinkling his tinky and spearing Po with it in the eye. He winked before giving a tinkle for good measure.
“What are you doing?” said a fucking multicoloured dysfunctional horse out of fucking nowhere.
“Killing someone,”said a purple fucking dysfunctional horse. “Holy shit, how did I become dysfunctional and a horse?”
“Dunno, it happens a lot to everyone who visits these parts,” said Rainbow Dash.
"Cool story, bro. Tell it at parties. Reel in the clunge,” said Dipsay
“Yeah, fuck off you cunt,” said Tinkle, cracking open a beer.
Lala then had a miscarriage and Po(o) fainted of blood loss.
“Oh my. Are your friends okay?”
“Nah. Hold on a sec, i'll fix that,” said Tinkle.
He grabbed Dipsay's big green horn and rammed it so far up Poo's nostril that it went straight into her brain and mushed it into mush.
“yo shit what the fuck shit fuck what cunt,” exclaimed Dipsay. He pulled his member out of her nose, taking snot and blood with it. “why you do that?”
“your chat is terrible, Dipsay,” replied Tinkle Winkle, shrugging. “So, horse, watdo we do?
“This is Ponyville. Welcome!”
“Oh, shit, it is, isn't it?” said Lala, whipping out her gastric fluid and phone.
“What's that?” asked Rainbow innocently.
“What I lick up all day and night, hoe.”
“Well, do you want me to give you a tour?”
“No, fuck off,” said Tinkle, whipping out a fag.
He then punched the fag.
“what was that for?” rainbow said.
“DId I give you permission to speak?” Tinky said, flexing his 8-pack.
“hey, you wanna race now?”
“hey, you want me to tear the blood straight out your marrow?”
Tinkle then got a tree which was situated nearby and whacked the pegasus across the face with it. It connected solidly with the skull causing the bone structure to fracture immediately, and crumple in on itself.
Rainbow's face scrunched up. Tinkle stamped on it for good measure.
“haha,” tinkle, dipsay and lala all said.
“Oi, NooKnob. Let us out, will ya?”
“go munch on a pancreas,” replied noonoo.
“k.”
***
“Hi everypony! What brings you to our town! Wait, what are you doing?”
“oh nothing,” said Lala, who was bent over a chest-cavity which had conveniently been ruptured.
“Is that...Rainbow Crash?” asked twilot sparkel.
“Rainbow Gash, girl. Just look at this incision I made.” Tinkle popped out a large crevice he had carved out the flank. The entrails trickled out like spaghetti.
Tinkle ate the spaghetti.
“Yo, where's Dipsay that mong? I'm ripping his spleens if he doesn't show that ugly mug of his in 10 seconds flat,” said Mr Winkle.
“I'm in lala, lol.”
“Celestia!” screamed the twilight.
Tinky brought out a knife, embedded deeply in his bum. He took it to her, laughing while he did it. Twilight turned and ran but was stopped in her tracks as the blade thudded in her side. She keeled over, blood trickling out her mouth, and fell on top of the blade, pushing it further into her uterus.
It came all the way through her cavity and poked out the other side, carrying more blood with it. But it didn't stop there, and instead rocketed skywards up into the moon.
“wat,” said Tinkle. “I paid a lot of money for that."
A bunny rabbit approached.
“aww, mate. Let's chase these shits like we do everyday.”
Lala popped out of Rainbow and Dipsay popped out of Lala and they both cornered angel bonny. Angel bunny then did a HUGE shit on the grass and ran off between Dipsay's legs.
“Dipsay, you cunt. That wldnt have happnd if you had a huge cock.”
“i had a sex change.”
“sweet, let me just slide right in,” said Tinkle, readying his weapon.
“stahp right there, criminal scum!” screamed a huge unicorn/pegasus hybrid. A... Unigasus.
“why are you all shiny?” asked Lala.
“I control the Sun,” replied Celestia, not taking her eyes off the three plebs.
“Oi, what the fuck did you do with that big fucking sun baby in the sky?” threatened Tinkle. "I'll hook u in da gabba."
“Nah, I'm still here, fam.”
Tinkle Winkle looked up at the sky and saw a huge baby ball of sun with shades on. “You have no idea how painful this is living up here. I think I'm gonna vomit.”
“What the...?” stuttered Celestia.
“check out the technique,” said Baby Sun of Incessant Boners as he dropped a sick-ass beat. He also vomited everywhere.
Celestia looked on in horror as the huge globules of sick came hurtling in from outer space.
“what the blithering fuck,” said Lala to Baby “Los Hermanos” Sun.
“and I was just starting to get hard too,” said Tinkle
“this is one of those deus ex machina things, isn't it?” asked Dipsay, vigorously fingering himself.
“wtf mate, you know I don't know french,” said Tinkle.
And then the sick hit. Ponies cried, and ponies died.
“get dunked,” said Baby Sun who just happened to wearing a bra.
It was at this pivotal moment in time that Noonoo decided that enough was enough. He first downed a gallon of absinthe to kill off any remaining ponies inside his vaccum thingy; then he vomited everywhere after looking at nudes of Susan Boil.
Up and out came all his mates. They had mostly coalesced together after being dowsed in concentrated nitric acid. There was now a smouldering pile of flesh and flesh and flesh on the floor.
Noonoo smiled.
Being a Caps Lock Technician really did have its perks.