Of Dragons and Mortals

Chapter 7: Tender Mercies

Twilight Sparkle visited the marketplace just before noon to check off grocery shopping from her to-do list. The market was abuzz with activity as she traced the familiar path between the various stands and purchased the same things she usually bought.

Performing the routine errands of the day worked wonders on her frazzled mind. Twilight was able to sit through her earlier meeting, but had been unable to pay proper attention. She ended up staring straight ahead for most of the meeting, just trying to think. She’d only calmed down after following her pre-established schedule for the rest of the morning.

Spike was an adult now. That was something she needed to deal with.

Though that wasn’t fair. According to his own testimony, he had been an adult for some time, but had been trapped in a body that refused to grow up. Really, the situation now was that things were as they should be.

Yet all the rationalizing in the world couldn’t help Twilight when she remembered how she’d acted that morning. She had stared, she had touched, she had willingly lingered in Spike’s warm embrace…

Twilight shook her head in an attempt to clear it, to the stoic surprise of Big Mac, whom she was buying apples from. She gave him an awkward grin, and he shrugged. Thankfully for Twilight, another mare approached the Apple cart, providing a convenient distraction as she sheepishly stepped out of the way of their business.

She observed Mac as he effortlessly hefted another basket of apples onto the counter, allowing the newcomer to pick out her own apples. Objectively speaking, Big Mac was an attractive stallion, both in body and in personality, but she had never felt anything towards him like she had felt towards her number one assistant that morning.

As a mental exercise, Twilight tried to imagine herself sitting in Big Mac’s lap, on her couch in the library, while he held her. She felt nothing in particular.

Then she thought back to earlier that morning, when her emotions had gotten the better of her. She remembered Spike’s strong arms and warm chest, his scent filling her nostrils…

“Twilight?”

Suddenly, Fluttershy appeared in the fantasy, sitting on the couch next to them.

Twilight opened her eyes, not knowing when she had closed them. Fluttershy was, in fact, standing right next to her. And she was at the Apple stand, not in the library.

Blinking a few times to clear the fantasy from her mind’s eye, Twilight turned to face her friend.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked before Twilight could say anything.

“I’m fine,” she responded.

Paying more close attention to her, she noticed something unusual: Fluttershy was smiling. Not in her usual reserved fashion, but an open, infectious, whole-hearted smile that lit up her face. While it made her look even more beautiful than usual, the sheer joy she was emitting was distinctly out of character for her.

“Wow, something good must have happened to you!” Twilight exclaimed, a giddy smile playing on her lips as well in an unconscious response.

“Oh, it did,” Fluttershy confirmed with a small nod. “Something very good.”

She proceeded to tell Twilight all about her morning thus far--talking to Spike, walking him to the Boutique, and what happened there.

“... After that I just couldn’t… I had to… I left, and I had some lunch but…” Fluttershy absent-mindedly twirled a lock of her pink mane as she struggled for words to finish her tale. “Oh, I just feel so pretty!” she squeaked, bouncing in place and fluttering her wings in joy.

A distracted passing stallion walked into a lamppost. The girls did not notice him.

“Wow, Fluttershy…” Twilight said, smiling genuinely. “I didn’t know you felt that way about Spike.”

“Oh, I’ve always liked Spike,” Fluttershy said. “He’s a great guy, and he was so cute when he was small! Now he’s still cute, but in a different way. Like… stallion-cute.”

Twilight fell silent, lost in thought. Spike was a stallion now. Of course others would see it. Some already had.

Maybe she was falling behind.

“So how was your morning, Twilight?” Fluttershy asked.

She was about to answer when she was suddenly hugged from behind. The scent of cotton candy identified the assailant as Pinkie Pie before her cheerful voice reached Twilight’s ears.

“Heya, Twilight! Heya Fluttershy! I finally got my lunch break!”

“Hi Pinkie!” Fluttershy responded, her enthusiasm throwing Pinkie off guard.

“Wowee, Flutters. I send you off with Spike and you come back all starry-eyed like this? What gives?”

“Oh, I just had a good time, that’s all.”

“So, Twilight…” Pinkie said to the friend still wrapped in her arms. “How are you handling this?”

Twilight found herself freed from Pinkie’s embrace, both her friends looking at her intently.

It took her a few moments to reply.

“It’s been intense,” she managed to say. “I think we all need to sit down and talk about this.”

“Okay!” Pinkie said excitedly. “We can do it at my place!” She pulled a calendar and pen out of her mane. “I can pencil you girls in anytime, but how about after we’ve had dinner? We can sit in my room and talk all we want!”

“That sounds lovely, Pinkie,” Fluttershy said. “How about I go tell Rarity?”

“And I’ll track down Rainbow Dash! If you’re onboard, Twilight?”

Twilight mentally checked her schedule.

“...Yes. That works for me.”

A certain large stallion couldn't help but overhear the three mares as they made their plans. Big Mac didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but they were having the discussion none too quietly right next to his stall.

Um, Miss Mayor! Are honorary family members allowed to help in the competition?

The memory replayed in Mac’s mind. It was one of the earliest times in their friendship with his sister that the girls had been referred to as ‘family,’ and that was very much who they were. Honorary Apples. And he was a big brother.

He needed to look out for them.

Sweet Apple Acres was vast. Acres upon acres of orchards covered the ground as far as the eye could see. On this particular day, in those endless orchards, something special was taking place.

Giving in to her urge to kiss Spike had been something of a final trial for Applejack. A way to see if she truly felt that way about him.

She did.

When she wrapped her arms around Spike’s neck, pushed him up against the tree, and pressed herself up against him, it felt good. When her lips met his and he answered her enthusiasm with his own, it felt right. When they deepened the kiss, it felt blissful.

How far was she willing to take this?

Spike was revelling in AJ’s affection and threw himself into the kiss without regrets. Her breasts pressed against his chest, and he held on to her generous hips, pulling her into him as much as was physically possible. The biggest surprise, however, came when he grew aroused, and his hardness began to press against Applejack’s abdomen.

She didn’t pull away. Instead she ground her hips into his pointedly. He gasped and inadvertently broke the kiss. Applejack leaned back from him, but made no move to pull her hips away, and moved her hands to his shoulders.

When her arms slowly moved away from him, Spike wondered what she was doing. He was about to ask when she put one of her fingers to his lips, hushing him. Seemingly satisfied that he had been struck dumb, Applejack moved her hands slowly to the front of her shirt and unbuttoned it, dropping it and her bra to the ground. Spike stared as Applejack’s breasts were revealed in all of their glory.

“Touch me,” AJ demanded in a husky whisper.

Spike immediately obeyed, his fingers trailing up the soft coat of her sides before he allowed his hands to cover her firm breasts. They were average-sized, but that didn’t matter. They were AJ’s. That made them perfect.

Applejack let out a badly suppressed moan of pleasure as Spike gently cupped her breasts, his large hands perfectly covering her. Having Spike touch her so intimately made her heart race, and she eagerly pushed back into his hands, trying to draw him even closer.

The moan struck a chord deep within Spike, and he began softly teasing those orbs, tracing the tips of his claws over and around her nipples in an effort to get her to make more of those sensual sounds. He was amply rewarded.

Applejack just couldn’t hold back. It felt like her whole body was electrified, and everything Spike did to her sent shockwaves through her body. His hands were a little shaky, but his gentle touch combined with the subtle sharpness of his claws made for a delicious contrast on her breasts. She held back from crying out her passion to the skies as Spike explored her, but couldn’t stop herself from moaning in delight when he found one sensitive spot after another.

But just when she was going to lean in and kiss him again, she detected movement out of the corner of her eye and felt a spike of terror.

It was a pegasus, off in the distance, dragging a cloud behind her. She wasn’t looking their way. They hadn’t been seen.

“Spike, stop,” AJ pleaded.

Spike looked up into Applejack’s eyes. He wanted to keep going. More than anything, he wanted to keep exploring her body and bringing her more and more pleasure. But she had said to stop, so Spike quickly pulled away. He couldn’t hide the hurt look in his eyes as AJ hurried to get dressed again.

“Before you get any dumb ideas,” Applejack said as she dressed herself, “Ah do not regret anythin’ we did here. Not for a second.”

That made Spike feel a bit better, but didn’t explain why--

“Look.” AJ sounded distracted as she broke his chain of thought. She finished dressing and pulled him over to her side, then pointed towards the sky. “Sweet Apple Acres is due fer a bit of rain. This place will be full of weather ponies in a few minutes.”

Spike looked up and saw a number of weather-pony pegasi approaching, all dragging rain clouds with them. He finally found his voice again.

“I understand.”

As though his voice had snapped her out of a trance, Applejack sharply turned to Spike and pulled him down for a lingering kiss, keeping him lip-locked in place until she had to break off for air. This time, she knew somepony must have seen them.

Spike realized that too. Applejack had just kissed him in public. He met her eyes and saw a certain frustration there he recognized. The same that was in his heart right now. She had not wanted to stop either.

“Next time, Spike,” she said, poking him in the chest. “Next time.”

They stared at each other for a few more moments, allowing the heat they had built between them to simmer down before AJ spoke again.

“Ah have some chores Ah need to do. Wanna help out?”

“Absolutely.”

Few are the creatures that knowingly and willingly enter a dragon’s den. It is a death sentence for almost everything that is not the dragon who calls the place home.

So when Quick Wits, who had entered the cave earlier that day, walked back out, it was remarkable. The fact that he was uninjured was even more so.

The unicorn was followed, from a fair distance, by the still leering head of the giant dragon who lived in said cave. When he was outside, he turned and addressed the dragon.

“I’ll be back in three days. And then, I want an answer.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “One way or another.”

The dragon said nothing.

With a shrug, Quick Wits placed his crimson helmet back on his head, pulled up the hood of his cloak, turned around, and vanished into thin air.

The dragon could not hold back a grunt of surprise, but it was not at the sudden disappearance. There was no room in that helmet for the unicorn’s horn...

Time passed. Spike helped Applejack with various chores around the farm, while the weather ponies flew here and there, setting up short rain showers to water the trees. At some point, Rainbow Dash showed up, spoke with Applejack briefly, gave Spike another nuzzle (in full view of the other weather ponies), and flew off again. Speaking of Applejack, the farm pony’s passion was apparently not sated from the “tree incident,” and she snuck several quick kisses and embraces over the course of the day.

But other than that, nothing exciting happened for some time.

Soon enough, Spike had to go back to the library to make dinner. Applejack expressed a desire to walk with him to the library, but had to see to her own dinner. She escorted him to the edge of Sweet Apple Acres and gave him a brief kiss goodbye.

Spike got lost in thought as he walked, counting his blessings that his day had gone so well, and with the memory of Applejack’s strong body in his hands, he wasn’t watching the road.

He was maybe halfway to Ponyville when a large red hand landed on his shoulder.

Spike all but jumped out of his skin, and snapped his eyes to meet his assailant, but found that it was only Big Mac, his expression carefully neutral. An empty Apple cart rested on the edge of the road behind him.

“A moment, Spike,” came Big Mac’s deep baritone. It was not a suggestion. Spike suddenly felt very small.

“Okay,” he whispered.

“Ah see you’re all grown up now. And Ah hear you’re getting a might popular with the mares.” Big Mac paused, looking at Spike as though he was waiting for the dragon to say something.

All Spike could think about was the fact that he had once seen Mac drag a two-story building halfway through town. Without slowing down. Newfound powers or not, Big Mac was no less intimidating, and Spike was at a loss for words.

“The girls, your friends?” Mac continued. “They’re family to me. Good as Apples. You hurt them, Ah hurt you.”

It was the calm, almost monotone way he spoke that told Spike that Big Mac was very, very serious. Which made Spike very, very scared.

“They’re… They’re my family too,” Spike finally managed to say through the icy terror gripping his heart. “If I hurt them, you’re... welcome to… do that. Not that I would or anything! Just…”

Big Mac’s glowering eyes bore into Spike’s, causing the dragon to cower and visibly shrink in stature. The hand finally left Spike’s shoulder. It returned immediately thereafter for a few hearty claps on his back, and Mac’s expression softened slightly.

“Eeyup,” he said in an encouraging tone.

With his threats and encouragement thus doled out, Big Mac ended the conversation by grabbing the cart and continuing his walk home.

For a moment, Spike felt like collapsing, but he worked up the strength to stay standing and keep walking back home to the library. Lost in thought as he was, the rest of his trip was a haze.

When he entered the library, he called out to his housemates.

“Twilight! Owlowiscious! I’m home!”

The owl hooted in greeting, but there was no response from Twilight. She wasn’t home.

Spike nodded at the owl, then went into the kitchen to begin dinner.

Twilight Sparkle paused at the door to her home. According to their schedule, Spike was supposed to make dinner today. And the faint scent of unidentified food seeping through the door indicated that he was, in fact, in there.

Making dinner.

Just like he was supposed to.

Twilight drew in a deep breath, then let it out as a sigh. Here she went.

“Spike, Owlowiscious!” she called out as she opened the door. “I’m ho--do I smell nachos?”

Sitting on the table in the middle of the library was a spread of her favorite food: Spike’s nachos with various toppings.

She walked up as though in a trance, and her stomach growled at her, suddenly very hungry. There were all sorts of toppings this time! Spicy salsa, sweet sauce, melted cheese... Even a few toppings that Spike reserved for “special occasions,” and a few she hadn’t even seen before!

“Hey, Twilight.”

She yelped and turned around to face the voice. She saw Spike. The same Spike she had seen this morning. The stallion who had made everything so confusing for her.

“Hi,” she lamely answered.

“I thought I’d make something extra special today…” he said in a low, soothing voice.

“Well, it’s special…”

An awkward silence followed.

Spike pulled out a chair for Twilight, who slowly walked over and sat down.

Spike sat down across from her, instead of by her side. Twilight found herself wanting him to sit next to her, but she couldn’t speak. She looked at Spike to find him smiling softly at her, so she decided to eat instead of talking.

It was amazing, as usual, and very soon Twilight found herself gorging on all the new and improved toppings Spike had made. The chili was delightfully spicy, the guacamole soothed her tastebuds, and the new sauce Spike had made actually made her groan in delight.

There was no conversation, but the awkwardness between them disappeared when Twilight truly got into demolishing her dinner. Spike tried to eat too, but he had to be careful--Twilight actually slapped his hands away once when he strayed too close to where she was eating. He laughed at that, which made Twilight laugh as well, and the sounds of mirth filled the room for a time.

Soon enough, Twilight was full, the plates were empty, and Spike was in the kitchen, putting the dishes in the sink.

“Hey, Spike?” she called into the kitchen.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to head to Pinkie’s and meet up with the girls. I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

It was so much easier talking to him like this. When she couldn’t see him, he was just… Spike the dragon. One of her very best friends. Not Spike the confusingly attractive stallion.

“Are you having a sleepover?” he asked, walking out to face her.

Now it was harder to talk again.

“No… just… hanging out… talking...” she managed to answer. Why did he drive her to distraction so?

Their eyes locked for a while. Eventually, Twilight looked away.

“I should go,” she said. “Like I said, I don’t know when I’ll be back, so you don’t need to wait up for me.”

“Okay.”

Twilight walked to the door, looked back briefly to give her dragon a small smile, and left.

Spike sighed.

“Well, at least she liked the food…”

He plopped down in one of the library’s armchairs. It had been a day. A day! And not even a full one yet! But so much had happened…

“If this keeps up, I’ll burn out.”

“Hoo.”

“Hehe, ‘burn out.’ Get it? Because I’m a dragon?”

“Hoo.”

“Yeah, I’m not at my best. It’s been a very… emotional day.”

Spike sighed and sunk into the chair. He would have to talk to Twilight once she came back. He had to clear the air. They couldn’t keep feeling this awkward around each other. He felt tired, physically and emotionally, so he closed his eyes for just a few seconds.

Suddenly, he was startled awake by a knock on the door.

“I’ll get it.”

Spike pulled himself out of the armchair and walked over to the door. It was odd, but not unheard of, to get library patrons this late. When he opened the door, however, his eyes widened.

“Scootaloo?”

“Hey, Spike. Can we come in?”

“... We?” That was when Spike noticed the two other young mares standing slightly behind her. “Oh. Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom… Sure, sure. Come on in.”

The girls muttered their thanks and walked in. Apple Bloom and Sweetie were blushing, and had difficulty meeting Spike’s eyes, but Scootaloo met his gaze unashamedly.

“Wow, Spike… Look at you… They say you’re officially an adult now; is that true?”

“Well, yes.”

“Spike?” Apple Bloom asked. “Where’s Twi?”

“Hanging out with her friends. It’s just me and Owlowiscious here.”

Apple Bloom looked down at the floor again, her blush returning with a vengeance. Sweetie Belle followed suit, and even Scootaloo got a little red-cheeked.

“Is that so…” Scoots said, her voice dropping slightly. She walked up close to Spike and ran a finger over his clothed chest. “Say, Spike…”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna see our cutie marks?”

“Iii call this meeting to ORDER!” Pinkie Pie shouted in her best judge-like voice.

“Pinkie, we’re just sitting here,” Rainbow deadpanned. “We’re not even talking yet.”

“And that is why we need ORDER!”

“We will talk when--” Rarity was interrupted by Pinkie’s door opening.

“Howdy, y’all!”

“--Applejack gets here… Well, aren’t you all smiles?”

“Hey, AJ! Have a seat!”

Applejack took the last empty seat at the table the other girls were sitting by, a round table laden with various snacks and confectionery. Everypony was eating something, with the notable exception of Twilight, who seemed a little off-put by the mere presence of food.

An awkward silence began to descend on the room. Pinkie refused to allow it.

“Dear best friends, we are gathered here today to discuss the growth spurt and maturity of our other best friend, Spike. We are to consider what ramifications this has for us, and what we are to do regarding his sudden sexiness. I thought we could start by talking about today.”

Pinkie looked over to Twilight with a big smile, but Twilight shrunk in her seat.

“I’ll go first,” Pinkie continued, undaunted. “This morning, I woke up to an unusual Pinkie Sense…”

Scootaloo didn’t really wait for an answer, pushing Spike softly backwards until the back of his knees struck the armchair and he sat down by reflex. The other girls moved up to stand next to their friend. All three of them had determined looks on their faces, despite the fact that they were also blushing furiously.

“Well…?” Scootaloo asked. Spike knew her well enough to recognize the slight tremor in her voice. She was nervous. She hid it well.

“Uh… yes?” Spike managed. It wasn’t the first time that day he had faced down an amorous mare, but all three Conquerors at once had him at a loss for words. The responses he got, however, were earnest smiles.

Scootaloo went first. She sat down in Spike’s lap, laying her legs over one of the armrests and placing a hand on his head to make him look down at her hip. With his attention thus claimed, Scootaloo slowly pulled up her dress before the dragon’s staring eyes, uncovering her toned, athletic thigh until she finally exposed herself all the way up to her hip, where her pride and joy rested: a smoking tire being struck by a lightning bolt. A daredevil’s mark.

“Do you like it?” Scootaloo asked, pulling her dress up just a little higher, ‘accidentally’ giving Spike a hint of her panties.

“It’s… it’s nice,” Spike managed. He barely suppressed the urge to reach out to caress her exposed leg.

Satisfied, Scootaloo rose from Spike’s lap, but not before she nuzzled his cheek.

Apple Bloom was next. The last time Spike had seen her, she had been wearing shorts, but now she, like her friends, was wearing a sundress. She looked embarrassed but resolute as she turned her right hip against Spike and pulled her dress up. She was muscular, much like her big sister, and Spike could see the muscles moving under her coat as she shifted nervously. Soon she was showing off her mark: a hammer with an overlaid apple. She dropped her dress back down and stepped back, blushing.

Sweetie Belle walked up next. She was blushing too, but she looked confident. She did a spin that made Spike’s already pounding heart skip a beat, causing her dress to flutter around her legs. She then hiked her dress up, much like Apple Bloom had, revealing her soft, supple thigh and showing off her mark, a heart with musical staves running through it and a single note resting in the center. Once she knew Spike had gotten a proper look, she dropped the hem of her dress and took a bow.

The girls looked over to find Spike gaping and blushing redder than the sun, and they grinned at each other.

Mission accomplished.

The mood in Pinkie’s room had been at an all-time high as the girls regaled each other with the various things that had happened through their day with Spike. Then Twilight told the story of the morning, and about how Spike was so distressed at something the girls had no idea was a problem that he almost walked away. Almost left the only home he had ever known. Almost left them, probably never to come back.

After Twilight told them the whole story, there was silence. Not even Pinkie tried to break it as they all digested the information.

“But he’s not leaving anymore, right?” Fluttershy finally asked.

“No, he told me he wasn’t going anywhere,” Twilight answered. “I just wish he had told me, told us!”

“It can’t have been easy for him either, Sugarcube,” Applejack said. “Ah know how much he wants to stay with us. It must have been too heartbreakin’ for him to talk about.”

“Yes,” Rarity cut in, “especially if there was nothing any of us could do to help.”

“Still,” Rainbow said, “this is the sort of thing we wanna know about so we can support him!”

“It doesn’t matter,” Pinkie said, silencing the others. “He’s here now. We still have him. We can talk to him about it later. Now we need to talk about the future. What do we want?”

And there it was. Everypony fell silent. None of them wanted to be the first to speak, to put words to the emotions in their hearts. Confronted with the choice like that, the past burst to the forefront of their minds, distant memories of broken hearts and empty beds opening up like old wounds. They remembered times when they had offered their hearts and been burnt.

Rainbow Dash was the first to speak up.

“Really?” she asked. “None of you are gonna say anything? I’m gonna have to be the mushy one here?”

The other girls looked directly at her, eyebrows raised.

“Fine.” Rainbow cleared her throat. “I’m not in a hurry to settle down and have a family. But I do think about it sometimes. You wanna know what I see when I picture my future family? I see you girls, the best friends I could ever hope for, there with me. We’re a family, a herd, and we’re together with a stallion who makes us happy.”

Rainbow looked over the assembled mares. Her friends.

“And I think Spike can be that stallion,” she continued. “He’s always been there for us, he’s a great guy, I… I like him. I want him.”

Dash, of all ponies, was baring her heart. The girls exchanged incredulous looks.

But the moment passed quickly as all the mares began thinking towards the future now, the possible future of all of them together with a stallion. It was completely natural to imagine their friends there alongside them, bound together by love. And when they pictured Spike as their stallion, he fit perfectly. He belonged there, with them.

He was part of the family, after all.

Applejack spoke up.

“That sure sounds nice.”

“So what are we waiting for?” Rainbow exclaimed. “Let’s just go over there and--”

“Wait!” Rarity interrupted. “First of all: are we all willing to give Spike a chance?”

Fluttershy nodded without hesitation. Pinkie Pie followed suit. Applejack and Rainbow Dash raised their hands in support. Rarity nodded, satisfied, before she turned to Twilight.

Rarity expected the princess to be unsure or hesitant, but Twilight held her hand up alongside them.

“Twilight?” she asked. This drew the attention of the others, who had also expected their friend to need some persuading.

Twilight merely nodded.

“Okay then,” Rarity said, turning back to the group as a whole. “Now, if we’re doing this, and apparently we are, we are going to do this properly. We are going to date him, explore our relationship with him, and hopefully start a herd with him in the future.”

“Um…”

“Yes, Rainbow Dash?”

“What, exactly, do you mean by ‘properly’?”

“Tell me this, Rainbow: a handsome stallion becomes available, and within days, a group of older mares have claimed him and pressured him into marriage. What would you call mares like that?”

“Sexual predators...” Applejack interrupted, “or cradle-robbers… or gold diggers, or desperate, or--”

“Okay, jeez, I get it. We take our time with him so we don’t come across as creepy. I can get behind that.”

“That’s right,” Rarity said, nodding. “We will use our charm to win him over, not force him into a relationship.”

“Shouldn’t be too hard,” Applejack stated with confidence. “Ah think he’s already chosen us.” She remembered the conversation she had overheard in the Apple house, and she smiled.

“Um, I have a question,” Fluttershy piped up, drawing the others’ attention. “How exactly does dating work?”

The question seemed to surprise all of her friends except Rainbow Dash, who simply nodded along.

“Yeah, I’m with Shy on this one,” Rainbow said. “I haven’t dated in, like, years. And I haven’t had reason to care, either. I’m a little rusty on the lovey-dovey stuff.”

“Ooh! Ooh!” Pinkie exclaimed. “I can explain!”

Without waiting for confirmation (or any reaction, really), Pinkie pulled out a bag of multi-colored treats and poured them out on the table. While everypony else was too flabbergasted to say or do anything, Pinkie picked one candy and placed it dead center on the table. She then proceeded to encircle said candy with other candies.

“Okay, so this,” Pinkie said, pointing at the candy in the center, “is the stallion. And these,” she added, indicated the surrounding candies, “are the mares who like the stallion. Then it’s kinda a competition: the mares try to win the stallion’s affection, and in the end he falls in love and they get married!”

Pinkie cleared away all but six of the candies surrounding the “stallion” candy, and looked up at her friends with a big grin on her face.

“And since we’re the best girls ever, we’re sure to win!”

“Pinkie…” Rarity said, putting a hand on her pink friend’s shoulder. “Why don’t you let me take this one?”

“Oh, sorry. Go ahead!” Pinkie replied cheerfully.

Rarity’s horn lit up, and many of the candies Pinkie had thrown off came back, setting themselves in a neat circle around the “stallion.”

“Now then.” Rarity cleared her throat. “Since mares have always significantly outnumbered stallions, the herd is the most common romantic relationship. A herd usually consists of one stallion, or--in rare cases--two, and three to eight mares.”

“Sometimes, rarely,” Twilight cut in, “ponies will choose to be monogamous: one stallion, one mare. There are also same-sex relationships, but I don’t think they’re relevant to us right now.”

“Right,” Rarity agreed. “Anyway, this…” she gestured towards the candies at the table, the “stallion” in the middle and the “mares” surrounding him. “...is what is commonly known as a ‘dating circle’ or ‘pseudo herd.’ Basically speaking, these are mares who are interested in the stallion and vice versa. How this works is that one of these parties asks the other one out. Usually, it’s the mare doing the asking. Some are rejected…”

Rarity withdrew some of the candies from the circle.

“Some go on a date or two before deciding they and the stallion aren’t right for each other…”

Another few candies were removed.

“Some mares from outside the circle may become attracted to the stallion at some point and try to join, possibly even succeed…”

A few candies were added.

“Some mares may find another stallion who they like better…”

More candies were taken away.

“The sad fact is, relationships can end for any number of reasons: a fight that gets too far out of hand, money issues, family disapproval...”

Rarity named several more reasons, and for each one she stated, she removed a candy, until there were only six left on the table.

“But as they date, some mares will fall in love with the stallion, and he with them. Usually, the mares are already friends before the dating starts, like us, or this hypothetical group become friends out of their love for the same stallion. It is at this point that someone--again, usually the mares--proposes marriage.”

“If the proposal is accepted,” Twilight finished, “a true herd is born. There is usually a wedding ceremony, too.”

“Right you are, Twilight. Any questions?”

“Um, yes,” Fluttershy said. “Is it okay to date in a group?”

“Certainly, my dear. Marefriends taking their stallion out on a date together is actually encouraged.”

Fluttershy sighed, a note of relief in her voice.

“In fact,” Rarity continued, “if a mare falls in love with a stallion, it is common courtesy to introduce him to her closest unattached friends, so they can try dating him as well. For example, if one of us began dating and fell in love, she would probably invite the rest of us to ‘try him out,’ as it were.”

Fluttershy nodded, then spoke up again.

“And, um… how far are we supposed to, um… go?”

“As far as you’re comfortable with, darling,” Rarity said in a reassuring tone, “and no further. Some ponies even choose to wait until marriage, though it is very rare.”

“Really,” Twilight interjected again, “the only ‘rule’ is that you should wait until marriage before you have foals. Other than that, anything… goes…”

Silence.

That word. Foals.

Applejack watched as her friends’ heads sunk down. She immediately realized what the problem was. After all, she had been through that same thing a few hours ago. AJ was not in a particular hurry to have children, and she couldn’t imagine her friends were, either, but the concept of never having children of their own chilled them to their cores. As it had her.

She cleared her throat, drawing attention to herself.

“Ah didn’t tell you everythin’ that happened at the farm. See, when I overheard Granny and Spike talkin’, Granny said she wanted to see some great-grandkids, and she got a might pushy…”

“So, Spike.” Scootaloo leaned forwards, smiling in a distinctly teasing fashion. “We have something we want to ask you.”

Spike was still sitting in the armchair, his arms crossed in his lap to try to hide what the Conquerors’ little show had done to him. The girls in question proceeded to surround the chair.

“We are having a picnic lunch in the park on Sunday,” Sweetie Belle said from his left side.

“And we’d all like it if you joined us,” Apple Bloom continued from the right. “Just you and us.”

Spike gazed around himself, his eyes flickering between those of the young mares. There was warmth, affection and a bit of lust in them, but it was something else that truly melted his heart.

Fear. Fear of rejection. When he hesitated, it showed in all their eyes. Suddenly he saw not the sensual mares trying to seduce him, but the sweet girls he had grown up alongside. Girls who were now trying so very hard to be alluring for him.

They liked him. And he liked them as well.

“Okay,” he finally croaked out.

He was rewarded with three bright, beautiful smiles that lit up the girls’ faces.

The next few moments passed in a blur of affectionate hugs and nuzzles. Somewhere amidst all of that, he was given a time to be in the park, and then the trio hurried out of the building and down the street, giggling and blushing fiercely.

“Yeah…” Spike muttered as he closed the door. “This is gonna cost me.”

“Hoo.”

“So you’re telling me,” Pinkie said, “that we can have fun with Spike as much as we want, even when we’re in heat, and not worry about getting knocked up. But when we do want foals, Twilight waves her horn and we’re good to go?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Applejack answered, tilting her hat. “So, Twi? Do you know what he was talkin’ about?”

“Actually, I think I do--”

“This is SUPER-AMAZING!” Pinkie cried out, seeming to almost explode with joy. She bounced in a circle around the room a few times, a shower of confetti exploding from behind her every time she landed.

Applejack was relieved to see her story make her friends smile again, and Pinkie Pie’s antics were just gravy. Under Pinkie’s confetti barrage of joy, AJ could see the last of the shadows leaving her friend’s faces.

That particular door had not slammed in their faces.

“I’ll have to talk to him,” Twilight continued, barely audible over Pinkie’s continued celebration. “Find out where he found the spell and such. But yeah, I think I understand where he’s coming from.”

Pinkie eventually calmed down, and for a few seconds, there was quiet as the girls looked for something to say.

“Wait…” Applejack piped up. “Back up, Rares. You said Thunderlane asked you out this mornin’. Ain’t he married? What was he doin’ tryin’ to ask you out?”

“Sometimes,” Rarity answered, slipping back into her lecturing voice, “an already established herd will look to expand the family. Thunderlane and his girls must have decided that they wanted another mare or two around.”

“Alright.”

Suddenly looking pensive, Rainbow Dash raised her hand.

“Yes, Rainbow?” Rarity said.

“You… added some ‘mares’ back there at the demonstration…” Rainbow said, pointing at the stallion candy. “What was that about?”

Rarity fell silent for a few seconds, and a sour look crossed her face before she answered.

“A mare is expected to date one stallion at a time,” she said. “If she grows tired, disillusioned or whatever with the stallion she is dating, she’s supposed to break it off with him before she starts dating a new one. She may leave a dating circle without turning any heads, and can usually even come back later. But stallions are considered to be ‘up for grabs’ until they are married. And some mares can be quite forceful...”

“The stallion can, of course, reject mares who try to date him,” Twilight elaborated. “In fact, when a stallion starts rejecting all mares except--” Twilight gestured at the six candies surrounding the ‘stallion’ on the table. “--a certain group, that’s typically a sign that he has made his choice.”

“How do you know all this, anyway?” Rainbow asked.

“I read The Proper Etiquette of Dating a few years ago. Part of my social studies.”

“If Ah can get us back on topic,” Applejack cut in, “are you sayin’ what Ah think you’re sayin’?”

“If we wish to date Spike,” Rarity said, “and clearly we do, we are going to have to contend with the other single mares of Ponyville, who may try to steal him away.”

As that thought sunk in among the gathered mares, one phrase swam through their minds.

Bring it on.

They talked for a while longer, discussing the specifics of dating, briefly going over the circumstances that had led to Spike’s sudden growth spurt, and even talking about some potential rivals who might also be interested in their stallion. But the sun soon began to set, and the girls were all tired from the day’s experiences, so they decided to call it a day and go back home.

Twilight’s home… It was her center, a beacon of normalcy amidst Ponyville’s Cerberus attacks and jelly-bathing stallions, but now...

It had never looked so menacing.

It was still the library, still physically unchanged from yesterday, but now it contained a stallion. A stallion who threatened to shake her whole world.

Her friends had made it sound easy, but the concept of facing Spike, their prospective stallion, alone was frightening. Nevertheless, Twilight walked up to the door, steeled herself, and opened it.

“I’m home…” she announced in a whisper, half-hoping Spike was already asleep.

“Welcome home…” she heard Spike answer, equally softly.

The dragon in question was sitting in an armchair with a book on his lap and Owlowiscious perching on his shoulder. A firefly lantern was sitting next to them, the only source of light in the library. Twilight couldn’t help but smile warmly at the scene, and it helped her gather up her courage to speak.

“We need to talk,” both Twilight and Spike said at once. They blushed and shared a quiet laugh.

“Okay,” Spike answered. He gently lifted the owl onto its perch, where it proceeded to preen itself.

“Come on. We’ll have some privacy in my room,” Twilight said.

Spike met her eyes, blushed, and looked down at the floor. Twilight was surprised, but then considered it: a young mare inviting a young stallion into her room at night, both of whom are attracted to each other...

Does he think I’m inviting him up to…? No. No, he must realize I didn’t mean it like that. Still, I should clarify.

The awkward silence continued for a few more seconds.

Come on, just say “No I don’t mean it like that, Spike. I just want to talk.” Just to clear up any confusion, so he doesn’t read anything into this. Tell him that, say it!

But she couldn’t say it.

“Come on,” she finally said. She grabbed Spike’s hand, gently tugging him along with her.

Wordlessly, Spike followed her. He knew that Twilight hadn’t meant anything by inviting him upstairs (sadly), but considering how his day had been so far, his mind had gone in a perverted direction at the thought of being alone with a lovely mare. With Twilight.

He was nervous.

Twilight guided Spike into her room, the same one she had shared with him up until a few years ago. Her eyes lingered on the spot where his basket bed had been years ago, then shifted back to the dragon she was holding hands with. The handsome, dependable dragon who had taken such good care of her over the years…

Twilight shook her head. Still holding Spike’s hand, she led him over to her bed and gestured for him to sit.

Twilight, what are you doing? she thought to herself. There are chairs in the room. Put him in a chair.

But he looked so comfortable sitting on the bed. And his hand felt good in hers, so Twilight decided to sit on the bed next to him.

I’m sending the wrong signals here, aren’t I?

Twilight looked into Spike’s eyes. He looked comfortable. A little nervous, but comfortable. This was okay.

Right?

“Spike… AJ told us… she told us about a spell you found, the one about…” Twilight trailed off as she saw realization in Spike’s eyes. He looked almost defeated. “Where did you find it?”

Spike sighed, then remained silent for several long seconds. Twilight was about to ask again when he finally spoke up.

“I read about it in Intimate Transformations,” he answered, his voice laced with… shame? “I was looking for… I was looking for a way to turn into a pony, if only for--”

“Spike, you’ll never have to do that,” Twilight interrupted unhesitantly. “We love you just as you are.”

It was odd. She had told Spike that she loved him before, when he was smaller. It had been a few years since the last time, sure, but she had said it… So why did it feel so different now? Why was her stomach doing somersaults at the brilliant smile that lit up Spike’s face?

“Anyway,” Spike said, his voice low,” I can show you the spell. I’ve seen you do much more complicated magic.”

Spike’s hand shifted a little in hers until the grip was more comfortable for both of them. For a few seconds, they simply sat there, holding hands. It felt nice.

“Okay…” Twilight answered softly. Spike slowly withdrew his hand from hers, smiled at her, and walked out of the room.

Spike left Twilight alone in her bedroom, and Twilight’s smile faded. She knew it wasn’t logical, but she couldn’t help but feel lonely.

Spike came back after about a minute. He sat down next to Twilight again, placing the book he had gathered in his lap and leafing through it with one hand.

Twilight looked down at his other hand, lying on the bed right next to her. Without really being aware of her own actions, she reached out and slipped her hand back into his. Spike looked over at her, and their eyes locked.

Twilight blushed, but holding hands felt right, so she didn’t pull away. She saw Spike blush as well, then smile. Before he looked down at the book again, he adjusted his grip so they were properly holding hands once again.

Spike leafed through a few more pages before he found what he was looking for.

“Here.” Spike said, pointing at the page. Twilight rested her head on his shoulder so she could see the book properly, and he stiffened in surprise. He found himself blushing even more furiously than before, and anything else he might have wanted to say vanished in a haze as Twilight’s body pressed firmly up against his side.

Twilight didn’t notice. Her academic side had taken over, and she decided to check the spell so she could reassure her friends. And herself.

The spell was apparently created for interspecies lovers having trouble conceiving, so it was designed in such a way as to be easy to cast. For a regular unicorn, it would be difficult, but doable. For Twilight, it would be easy.

Twilight felt a weight leave her shoulders as she let that sink in.

That was when she realized how close she was to Spike. Yet she didn’t want to move away. Spike was looking down at the book, and Twilight found that she badly wanted to look him in the eye. With that in mind, she reached out and touched the fingers of her free hand to Spike’s chin, turning him to face her. His eyes met hers.

They sat in silence for a while, staring into each others eyes. Eventually, Twilight saw Spike’s eyes flicker down to her lips, then back up to her eyes.

Spike brought his face closer to hers. He looked hesitant, and a little scared, but Twilight did nothing to stop him.

However, just as he was inches from her lips, Spike’s courage failed him, and he started to back off, hanging his head.

Twilight, acting on instinct and ignoring the butterflies in her stomach, pulled Spike’s face back up. She closed her eyes and leaned forwards.

Their lips met. Twilight wrapped her arms around Spike’s neck and pulled his body flush against hers. Spike slid his arms around her waist and returned the embrace.

The kiss was slow, gentle and loving. They both savored it for what felt like forever. Finally, they broke off, and Twilight opened her eyes to stare into Spike’s.

“Wow…” he mumbled.

“Yeah…”

Twilight pulled Spike in for another kiss. It felt good. It felt right. She leaned to the side, pulling Spike with her to lay on the bed as they kept the kiss going. She pushed into their kiss, savoring the amazing feelings coursing through her.

When they finally broke off this time, Twilight realized something.

We’re going too far.

“Spike, wait,” she whispered. He backed off slightly.

If I ask him to stop, he’ll stop. If I ask him to leave, he’ll leave. It’ll be a little awkward tomorrow, but we’ll get past it.

“It’s too soon; we’re not even dating yet…” she managed to say. There was a small part of her that made her say that. She wanted to keep going, as she deeply enjoyed what they were doing, but that tiny voice kept pushing her.

“Will you go out with me?”

“Oh, Spike…” Her heart swelled in her chest, and she felt tears threaten to spill from her eyes. “Yes. Yes, of course I will.”

Twilight would forever remember the smile of sheer happiness Spike showed her after she answered him. She leaned in and kissed him again. The tiny part of her that had protested fell silent. They were officially dating now. It was okay.

“And for our first date…” she whispered in between kisses.

If I ask him to stop, he’ll stop. He would never force me to do anything like this. He would respect my decision.

“I suggest--” she paused for another kiss, “--staying home--” another kiss, “--and getting to know each other.”

I can turn him away. But I don’t want to.

“Twilight, I love you,” Spike whispered, as though afraid to say it out loud.

Twilight’s heart felt like it was about to burst.

Spike would always remember the brilliant smile of joy on Twilight’s face when he told her he loved her for the first time. Sadly, the smile fell after a short moment.

“Spike… I don’t… I can’t say it back yet,” Twilight whispered.

“I understand,” Spike said. He meant it, too. He knew Twilight well enough to know she would need a bit of time. “I just needed to say it, or it would burn a hole in my throat.”

Twilight actually giggled a little at that, relieved that he wasn’t upset.

“Hey…” she whispered. “Say it again.”

“I love you, Twilight Sparkle.”

Twilight drew in close and placed a gentle kiss on Spike’s nose.

“Show me.”

They would not say anything else for some time.

Spike wrapped both arms around Twilight and kissed her with as much passion he could muster, and Twilight was glad she was lying down, because her knees buckled under his passionate attack.

Spike’s hands traveled down her body and reached below the hemline of her dress, where he ran his claws through the soft fur of her legs before he allowed his hands to slip up under her dress, running them over her thighs.

In response to his boldness, Twilight rolled Spike onto his back and placed herself on top of him. Once she was securely on top of her dragon, she sat up and looked down at him. They were both panting from exertion, their faces flushed with excitement.

There was one problem, Twilight thought: Spike was wearing too many clothes. With a flash of her horn, his shirt disappeared, reappearing in a random corner of the bedroom. Twilight feasted her eyes on his exposed muscles, and ran her fingers over his smooth, pliable scales. The pleasurable sensation of Spike’s claws traveling up her legs made her pause, though, which gave him an opening.

Spike ran his hands up Twilight’s thighs, dragging her dress along for the ride. It cleared her hips, revealed her stomach, and continued up. Twilight raised her arms, and Spike sat up, pulling the dress completely off his mare and throwing it over his shoulder, not caring where it ended up. He leaned back to admire Twilight’s body, covered only by her underwear.

For most of her life, Twilight had been a stereotypical skinny bookworm. Living in Ponyville and becoming a princess had filled her out some, but Twilight was aware she had gone from “skinny” to “average” and not much more. She knew she couldn’t compete with some of her more athletic or full-figured friends. But with Spike looking longingly at her body, she felt truly beautiful for perhaps the first time in her life. Spike leaned forward and latched his lips onto her neck. He kissed and nibbled his way down her body, his sharp teeth making thrills shoot through Twilight’s body.

Spike needed to explore the gorgeous expanse of Twilight that he was being offered. He ran his lips, tongue and teeth on a quest across Twilight’s collarbone and upper chest before he reached her bra-covered breasts. It was a functional thing, that bra, and in no way deserved to be torn asunder by Spike’s claws and thrown away to be forgotten, but neither Spike nor Twilight cared about its plight as Twilight’s modest breasts were freed to the air, only to immediately be covered by Spike’s hands and mouth.

Spike was experimenting, trying to see what his mare liked and what she didn’t. He teased her sensitive nipples with his claws and a hint of his teeth, and she cried out loud and arched her back, pushing her breasts more firmly into him. Once he felt he was done exploring, he switched breasts and began again, taking his time.

Twilight closed her eyes and didn’t even try to fight the amazing sensations that Spike’s ministrations were causing in her, but her eyes opened when she suddenly found herself lying back on her bed. Her wings flared open in surprise and failed to close properly as Spike’s lips and touch traveled down her body, heading for her core. She was suddenly very aware of the throb of arousal deep in her gut, and of how she was soaking her modest panties. After far too long, Spike’s exploration led him to her antipodes. He stilled for a few moments, and Twilight was just about to tell him off about it when she felt his claws slide up her hip and under her panties, then begin the journey back down, dragging her last article of clothing with her. As her panties slowly traveled down her legs, Spike kissed and caressed her from hip to hoof. He was taking his time, and she was grateful for it. Spike kneeled on the floor and pulled her hips over to the edge of the bed so his mouth was level with her flower, and she bit her lip in excitement. Moments later, Spike’s tongue attacked her, and she cried out in ecstasy.

Spike licked Twilight’s lower lips, using his long, agile, tongue to explore her and find the spots that made her cry out the loudest, enjoying her sweet flavor the whole time. He pushed his tongue deep inside her and swirled it around, making Twilight’s wings flutter and twitch wildly in time with her rapturous moans. After finding the little nub at the very top of Twilight’s marehood, Spike focused his tongue on it while slowly dragging a claw over her lower lips, teasing her and making her shiver in anticipation before he ever-so-slowly inserted his claw into her depths and gently began moving it in and out of her dripping core. It took only a few minutes of this stimulation before Twilight tensed up. Her wings flared, her upper body flushed, and she shook in pleasure, crying out her orgasm to the ceiling and wrapping her legs around Spike’s head as her entire body shook, and her nails tore holes in her bedsheets under her.

Twilight slowly came down from her intense high, and her breathing stabilized. She soon had the presence of mind to release Spike from the vice grip of her thighs, and she scooted up the bed shakily while he stood up. She wanted to say something, but couldn’t find the words. Spike stood up and removed his pants and underwear, revealing himself completely to her. Her eyes traced down his body and landed on his penis. It was shaped a little differently from a typical stallion’s, and was slightly ridged from its head all the way to its base. Nonetheless, she could easily imagine it fitting inside a mare. Inside her. She knew what to say now.

Lying back on the bed, still shaking from the aftershocks of her orgasm, Twilight held her arms out towards Spike.

“Come to me.”

Spike all but pounced.

Their bare bodies pushed against each other as they kissed furiously, and Twilight even used her wings in an attempt to hold Spike as close to her as possible. But they couldn’t wait any longer. Spike pulled away from the kiss and aimed for Twilight’s core, but his inexperience gave him pause. Twilight reached down and took hold, guiding him in.

She was more than ready for him, and Spike’s entire length slipped in her to the base in one firm thrust, to the vocal delight of them both.

Spike shut his eyes tightly and savored the feeling, trying to not finish so early at the amazing sensation of being inside Twilight Sparkle. He felt her lips on his, and surrendered himself to a sweet kiss as the new lovers got used to each other’s bodies joined so intimately. She was so very tight and welcoming, and the velvet vise felt so much better than anything he had ever imagined.

For Twilight, having Spike so very deep inside her just felt right. The kiss impossibly made the act feel even more intimate, and her legs loosely wrapped around his hips as they pressed together. After a long while, she broke the kiss and met Spike’s eyes. She nodded. Spike moved. The world melted away.

The sounds Twilight was making were the sweetest music to Spike’s ears, watching the mare writhe and her wings twitch as pleasure rocked her body. Meanwhile, her tight insides and the movements she made to try to match him sent him to heaven. Spike moved slowly and steadily at first, but as his passion got the best of him, he began to speed up, eventually pounding Twilight’s willing and eager body into the mattress.

Twilight could only hold on for dear life as Spike made her feel things she had never felt before. The ridges on his shaft moving inside her stimulated her insides in ways she had never experienced, and she felt her pleasure crest again, her body exploding in another orgasm that had her screaming in incoherent pleasure. How could it be this good?

She was just feeling another orgasm approaching when Spike’s thrusts slowed down slightly and his breathing became much more labored.

“Twilight, I’m close…” he gasped.

“Keep going…” Twilight managed between moans. “Don’t pull out.”

Hearing that put fire in Spike’s heart, and he began to truly rut Twilight into her bed, his thrusts becoming somewhat erratic as the end approached. Twilight’s orgasm hit first, and her legs clenched around Spike’s waist as he approached the edge, holding him close. He buried himself in her sweet depths as she pulsed and contracted around him and reached his peak with a roar of pleasure, spilling his seed deep inside Twilight’s welcoming body.

They stayed in each other’s embrace for what felt like a sweet eternity, until Spike had nothing left to spend and slowly pulled out. He collapsed next to Twilight, on one of her outstretched wings, and she took the opportunity to envelop them both in her feathery embrace. He was no longer inside her, but she held him close, still shivering from her own climax.

For a while, neither of them spoke. Spike was still hard, but neither of them wanted more right now. Their first time together had already been more than they could have hoped for. Twilight tucked her head under Spike’s chin and let the dragon hold her close.

Spike began running his fingers through her hair, and Twilight’s tail instinctively wrapped itself around his leg. She was about to drift off to sleep when he broke the silence.

“Hey, Twilight?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ll never guess what happened to me today.”

“Oh?”

“There’s this amazing girl, you know? She’s a princess and everything. Old friend of mine…”

Twilight blushed, but kept up the game.

“What about her?”

“I asked her out today, and she said yes.”

“Good for you, Spike.” Twilight grinned.

“Yeah, she even invited me to… to share her bed. It was amazing…” Spike fell quiet, and Twilight was about to respond when he continued. “Here’s the thing, though… She’s way out of my league. Not only that, but I’ve also fallen in love with our mutual friends, who are also out of my league… I’m… I mean I… I don’t know…”

“Spike…” Twilight pulled away to meet his eyes, and she saw the uncertainty there. “Spike, this princess girl you mentioned? She sounds like a smart girl who can make her own decisions. And I’m sure the other girls can, too. Why don’t you just keep being yourself and let them decide if you’re worth it instead of getting yourself down?”

“Yeah, I guess… Thanks, Twilight.” Spike grinned and stole another kiss from her before she tucked her head back under his chin.

Sleep found them both quickly that night.

Author's Note

Edited by:
Feo Takahari
TheDaringExplorer

This chapter has been a long time in the making. It's also been hell to edit, but I think the end-result turned out great, so there's that.

I'm probably going to go back to shorter 3000-or-so words per chapter from now on, but it was kind of fun to write a monster like this, so maybe in the future, I'll do it again. The far future.

Also, this story recently got 600 likes! I'm shocked, but happy at the same time.

Anyway, I'll see you guys next chapter!

Best.
Rakni

PS: Some links you may find interesting.
My editor found this classy list of slang for naughty bits
Also of note: CMC mark inspiration.