The Story In Which Twilight Sparkle Does Not Mess Up Her Spell

by Flint Sparks

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 3480

Twilight goes to a field to practice new spells. Absolutely nothing goes wrong, technically.

Twilight goes to a field to practice new spells. Absolutely nothing goes wrong, technically.

A collaboration with the amazing and powerful CosmicAfro

Published 2013-10-24 19:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-24 19:20:03 UTC

No, no she doesn't.

“Spike!”

The young dragon, previously wrapped in the comforting blanket of oblivion, was pulled from Luna’s dream land by the yanking hoof of Twilight’s yell. Spike rubbed his eyes clear of film and dragged himself out of bed. He stretched and yawned, opening his maw enough that if he wished, he could inflame the entire treehouse. Fortunately he lacked the power and the will to do so, but it was a comforting thought to the underprivileged drake.

Scratching his tail as he trudged down the stairs, he noticed the lack of sunlight through the windows. Apparently Twilight had pulled an all-nighter (again) and forgotten the time. He rolled his eyes, making a mental note to put “buy a clock” on her next daily checklist. Twilight loved checklists; she was sure to remember something as simple as buying a clock. Regardless, Spike had to live up to his reputation as the number one assistant.

He smacked his lips after reaching the bottom step. “What do you need, Twilight?” He observed the scene with groggy scrutiny. Twilight was poised on top of the table, surrounded by four tall stacks of books. On top of each stack was a carefully balanced orange. Spike had no idea what she was planning, nor did he really care. Just like he did with Rarity, he planned to fake interest in the activity and focus on helping the mare he adored. Helping out ponies was his duty and hobby, but today was not a day he wished to have his scales burnt off.

“Spike,” Twilight spoke as she straightened her front legs, having been stretching before she planned to experiment. “First, good morning.”

“Morning, Twi.” Spike was unenthusiastic. Twilight ignored it.

She pointed her horn toward an orange. “Earlier today, after my brother’s suggestion, I decided to initiate combat practice. Or was that yesterday?” She rubbed her chin with a hoof, pondering. Spike politely coughed when she began to mutter to herself.

Twilight shook her head. “Anyway, combat practice. After the recent changeling invasion, I’ve noticed my arsenal of magic has lacked a certain… flair. My brother has his shield spells, Princess Celestia and Princess Cadence have their own offensive spells, but what do I have?” She began circling on the table like a cat readying itself for bed. “My talent is magic itself, but my studies have neglected a complete branch of study. Considering the last few adventures everypony and I have had lately, direct combat is becoming more of a must. We cannot rely on the Elements of Harmony for every foe, nor can we hope to trick or befriend every nefarious pony that crosses our path.”

Spike raised a claw to protest a point, remembering Discord, but set it down. He shrugged. Experience taught him that if Twilight set her mind on something, she would stop at nothing to achieve it. Even if it meant causing the problem herself and solving it. “Okay.”

She lifted a hoof and turned her head to Spike. “But, we both know I’m going to have to do a lot better than oranges.” She blushed as a brief memory of turning a bird into an orange crossed her mind, and from Spike’s own smirk, he thought the exact same thing. “I have a favor to ask. Could you call Rainbow Dash for me and set up a target practice session? I read up on unicorns using clouds as moving targets for beginners so that’s probably where I should start.”

The assistant didn’t disagree, but he scratched his scaly belly and yawned. “Sure, Twi. But can it wait until everypony is actually awake?”

“Oh. Right.”

She checked over her list, running a comb through her hair at the same time as she stood at the bathroom mirror. The list of combat spells she wanted to begin with, the amount of cloud material she suspected she would need and the necessary funds to pay for them, some really odd note about an alarm clock with big stars around it, and of course the rest of her agenda. With a satisfied hum, she cantered out of the room and once again paged for her more lively assistant. “So, Rainbow Dash is ready for me?”

He downed the final gulp of his gemstone cereal. “Yef, Fwiligh’.”

“Spike, manners.”

“Sorry,” he said, this time with a mouth devoid of all food. He reached and walked parallel to Twilight as they exited the library, locking the door behind them. It was still the break of dawn, but the extra sleep had done wonders for both of them. Spike had put up a fight about the early rise, but she would have none of it. With so much combat training she needed, she couldn’t spare a single moment of time. Using the comfort of the empty streets, the duo softly paced down the dirt road to the outskirts of town in the open fields where Rainbow Dash practiced her moves. True to Spike’s word, the first round of cloud targets was already set up. Cubical puffs of weather circled around the center marked with a dirt X. Rainbow Dash was lying down on the ground, a smug look in her eyes and smirking.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight waved. Upon hearing her name, the sporting pony returned the gesture.

“I gotta say, when Spike came to me this morning I was a little shocked to hear our egghead librarian wanted to shoot at stuff,” she modestly stated. “But then I thought, ‘Whoa! I get to see Twilight shoot magic fire and stuff at clouds! That’ll be awesome!’”

The unicorn rolled her eyes and smiled. “Well, I wouldn’t say fire, but we’ll get there someday. Thanks for setting this up though.”

“No problem. Good news, I managed to fetch these from the Everfree weather system too, so it won’t cost us a single bit!”

Spike took the initiative and spoke up. “Well, we’d better get started then since we’re here.”

“I couldn’t agree more.” Twilight summoned her magic and conjured a thick, trapezoidal glass barrier. Spike and Rainbow immediately got the message to stand behind it as a safety precaution. With a thumbs up and a hoof pump from her two supporters, the combat artist in training went to the center.

Twilight kneeled down, charging her horn with arcane energy. It pulsed, signifying the limit of its charge. “Alright, everypony! This is the ‘cloud-to-water’ spell!” She grinded her teeth together and aimed at a moving cloud. Leading her target like her books have described in detail, she fired the spell.

“Nice rainbow,” Rainbow Dash murmured to Spike as the cloud exploded into a splash of water, refracting the sunlight into color. Spike nudged his elbow into her, snickering. Confusion sprayed onto her face for a moment; she retaliated by giving him a quick spine noogie.

Twilight fired the spell twice in succession, transfiguring two bodies of vapor into liquid. She stomped her hoof in accomplishment and grinned. “Alright! Time for something a little more… explosive!”

“Fire!” Rainbow Dash hollered, rearing on her hind hooves and whooping in joy.

“Yeah!” Twilight whipped her head to the left and fired a red bolt at a slow-drifting cloud. It burst, as if Discord himself popped it, into small red embers and sparks. Her mouth opened and spread into an awe-filled smile; she thrust her head to the right and tilted her horn up. The next cloud, larger than the rest, burst into a bright orange fireball.

Rainbow Dash and Spike applauded at the pyrotechnic show. “Yeah, yeah!”

Twilight bounced on her hooves and turned around to face her friends. “Hey! What should I do next?!”

“More fire! FIRE FIRE FIRE!” Rainbow Dash zipped into the air and performed a quick barrel roll in excitement. She abruptly stopped and glared at Twilight, a stern look on her face. “Seriously. More fire.”

Spike stared at Rainbow and slowly shook his head. His mind grinded its cogs, attempting to come up with something delicious. Delicious, eh..? His stomach rumbled, signaling the correct decision. Spike cupped his claws around his mouth and shouted as loud as he could. “GEMS!”

“Spike!” Twilight called back, a nagging tone settling in. “You just ate breakfast! You’ll ruin your appetite!”

“But Twilight!” Spike’s shoulders slumped as his belly rumbled. “It’s lunchtime!”

Twilight rolled her eyes and groaned, and groaned again for good measure. She trotted closer to the force field from the X she once stood on. “Spike, there’s not a spell for that! The closest spell is a coal-to-diamond spell, but…”

“You can do it! Your talent IS magic!” Spike hopped and clapped. “I know you can do it!”

Twilight sighed. “Spike, you know I can’t just change a spel-”

“Turn off the safety,” he said as if nothing was wrong with the idea.

“Excuse me?!” Twilight leaped back in surprise. “How did you even-”

Spike shrugged. “I’ve lived in a library my entire life. I read a book, what else can I say?”

Twilight scrunched her muzzle in deep contemplation. Unicorn spells each came with a safety trigger, ensuring a simple ‘apple to orange’ spell wouldn’t accidentally misfire and turn Applejack into her own cousin. Only a master magician whose talent was magic itself could hope to turn off something so innate and conditioned. “Usually I would say no, but this is combat practice.” Resolutely, she cautioned, “There is no safety!” She stomped and arched her back to face the heavens.

“Yay!” Spike squealed, his pupils enlarging and glistening with hunger. Twilight cantered to the X, ready and raring to go.

“One gem cloud, coming right up!” Twilight jerked her head backwards with flourish to shoot the cloud behind her. The white bolt of energy bolted through the air toward its target. Spike’s hungry stare followed it as it approached its target…

And missed. Completely. So absolutely off center that everyone stood dumbfounded for seconds.

“Uh oh.” Twilight gulped as she watched the bolt jerk in it’s trajectory and bolted straight horizontally, heading for Ponyville. And since there was no safety to make the magic dissipate on its own… “We have to catch that spell!” She dispelled her force field.

Rainbow Dash picked up Spike and dashed after Twilight, her wings beating rapidly and quickly overtaking her friend. Spike’s eyelids began peeling back against the wind as Rainbow Dash picked up speed, catching up to the bolt of energy. Once it was in range, the speedy pegasus reached out with a hoof.

“Rainbow D-Dash! What are you gonna do?” Spike stuttered against the piercing wind. Who knew what would happen to her? Rainbow Dash merely shook her head.

“I. Have. No. Idea!” She extended her foreleg as far as it could. It was almost in her grasp! Just one more second was needed!

Spike’s claw shot out, forced by the wind, and bumped against Rainbow Dash’s wing, causing her to falter and fall behind the magic bolt. She rolled in the air, making the world spin in the eyes of Spike. Her wings adjusted and corrected her flight pattern, but they were no longer in the fields. Ponyville lay to the mercy of Twilight’s magic.

A lonely stallion walked the streets, chewing his stalk of hay as he pulled a cart behind him. Big Mac casually cocked his head as he heard a familiar crackle. His eyes shifted to the left and noticed the arcane lance about to impale him. The stallion ducked and covered his head, remembering the last accident with a unicorn.

The bolt passed over the stallion and hit the window of the sofa (and quills) store. Rather than turn the window into diamonds, like Rainbow Dash expected as she flew toward Big Mac, it merely reflected off. Rainbow Dash turned a sharp corner in hot pursuit.

“Wait!” Spike shouted as the turbulence rattled his small frame. The reflective property of magic occurred to him, allowing his mind to concoct a plan. “Grab a mirror or something! Quick!”

The bell over the door dinged. Polish, a light blue unicorn with a darker blue mane, welcomed in the customer from under the counter. His hooves fumbled in the dim underside, looking for that old pile of rags he had meant to clean last night. He was treated to a surprisingly gruff voice.

“Good morning to you too. Which isle has the eighteen inch mirrors?” the pony asked.

“Isle three. I’ll be there in one minute.”

There was silence for a moment, other than an odd bump from moving the shelves. The customer hummed and pulled a measuring tape out constantly, as if inspecting every one that caught his eye.

Finally, he found the rags. Good timing too; the pony seemed to have found a mirror as the clip clop of hooves approached the counter.

“How may I help Y-oh Minotaurs!” He reeled back, dropping the rags he had just found.
“Is there a problem?” The not-a-pony responded, crossing his arms with the mirror in one hand.

Polish frowned. “Yeah! I’ve heard about you minotaurs and bulls in glass shops!”

Doing his best to remain polite, he fumed, “I’ll have you know that rumor is older than your haircut!”

A rainbow blur broke through the door, dropped a hefty amount of bits on the counter, and yelled “Sorry!” before exiting as quickly as it came. A mirror in the isle swung from side to side before falling off of its latch, shattering on the floor followed by an entire isle falling over.

The minotaur smugly grinned. “And you worry about Minotaurs in your glass shop?”

“Alright, got it!” Rainbow Dash placed the mirror at Spike’s feet. She looked up and cocked her head to the side. “Uh, now what?”

Spike stepped away from the store and looked up at the sky. The sky was scheduled to be clear, but one small cloud hung high. With the target in mind, he pointed up and said, “That one.”

“Spike! Rainbow Dash!” Twilight screamed as she galloped and skidded to a stop before her friends. “I-it’s heading for the schoolhouse!”

Rainbow Dash and Spike met each other’s eyes and nodded. They had a job to do. Before Twilight could say anything, Rainbow Dash scooped Spike up as he grabbed the mirror. She lifted off the ground and the two sped away over the housetops.

Spike held his hand to his forehead, shielding his eyes from the sun and wind as he tracked the wild magic. Once he scanned the town and pinpointed its location, he pointed and ordered Rainbow Dash to pursue the target. She gave a salute and flexed into a divebomb.

Spike’s calculations were true to the point; they landed fifteen meters ahead of the white bolt. With Rainbow Dash’s help, he held up the mirror and adjusted the angle. Together they held it still, silently praying to Princess Celestia for it to work.

The bolt zipped through the air. Rainbow Dash’s hooves and Spike’s arms quivered, threatening to drop the mirror. Fortunately they prevailed and the magic bolt hit the mirror, bounced off, and flew into the sky.

Spike pumped his fist into the air. “Yes! We did it!” For once, he was the one to save the day! Rainbow Dash sat on the ground as the baby dragon bounced in circles around her, chanting his victory cheer.

His screams of joy slowly died off as he noticed Rainbow Dash’s lack of enthusiasm. He stopped his nonsensical bouncing and scratched his head. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Look.” She lifted her hoof and pointed toward the sky. The bolt was flying directly toward the cloud, just as planned. “Notice anything… off?”

Spike shrugged. “I don’t see anythin- Oh.”

The bolt flew high enough until it disappeared to the naked eye. A few seconds later the cloud overhead flashed in a bright light, turning into a prismatic version of itself. Spike squinted and noticed the cloud was slowly getting larger.

“Um, that’s a big cloud…” Spike’s eyes widened as he judged its size, estimating it to be as large as the library.

“Eeyup,” was all Rainbow Dash could say.

“Spike! Rainbow Dash!” Twilight screamed as she galloped toward them, finally catching up. When she saw their blank stares and followed their gaze, her plot dropped to the ground. She sat and stared up, her left eye twitching. “We-we’re doomed… I’ve failed!” she cried and burst into tears.

Spike watched as his caretaker rolled on the ground in a puddle of her own tears. He felt like joining her, but his body refused to move. In fact, his stomach had dropped a stone inside. The stone broke and dispersed within, spreading a heavy feeling in his body. Spike broke his gaze from the falling diamond and looked down at his stomach, the scales rippling as an audible growl erupted from his insides.

Rainbow Dash and Twilight jolted to alert when the growl turned into a roar. Spike began vibrating in place as a large circular shadow formed around them. Memory served to push the mares to run away in panic, realization settling in.

Twilight leaped into a bush and covered her head. She heard a large ripping noise as Spike burst into his grown form, a loud crunch and crackle like a chandelier falling, and the sound of a grown dragon gulping his supper down.

Twilight cowered, waiting for the sounds of a tantrum and draconic rampage. None came. Shaking, she slowly raised her head outside the bush.

Spike lay on his back, rubbing his swollen body and burping louder than he could ever remember. Rainbow Dash whooped and dashed to him, scooping him up again into a hug. “You did it! That was awesome!”

Twilight shuffled toward the celebrating duo, her head hung low. Her hooves and tail dragged along the dirt in shame. Her depressed aura poked through Spike’s victorious mood, forcing him to notice her through the euphoria.

He turned away from Rainbow Dash in worry. “What’s wrong, Twi? Everypony’s safe!”

Twilight looked up, and then to the side. She could barely contain her tears. “I… I messed up again. I’m a failure!” Her tears flowed down her cheeks, dampening the ground underneath. Her sobs choked her, forcing her to collapse on her side and curl into a ball.

Spike hopped out of Rainbow Dash’s hooves and waddled to Twilight, swollen belly and all. He took one claw and poked Twilight’s side, causing her to yelp. “Twilight.”

“What? What do you want? Leave me alone; I’m a failure! I failed my spell”

“No you’re not. You cast a cloud-to-diamond spell, right?” Spike sat on Twilight’s back and rubbed his hand into her fur.

Twilight swallowed an incoming sob and looked up from her stupor. “Yes…”

Spike shrugged and patted his belly. “Well you did just that. I wouldn’t call that a failure, would you?”

Twilight smiled and shed a single, happy tear. “You know what? You’re right. I guess I really did do it, after all.”

“Yeah…” Spike leaned backwards and lay on top of Twilight. “You really didn’t mess it up, after all.”

She giggled. “Remind me to never take off the safety on a spell ever again.”

Rainbow Dash joined in with the laughter. “Yeah, we wouldn’t want you opening a portal or something to Celestia knows where if you sneezed at the wrong time or something.”

Spike burped and chuckled. “Wait, I got it! What if you summoned an alien and suddenly fell in love with it for absolutely no reason?”

Rainbow Dash’s laughs became chortles as she rolled on the ground. “I bet it’d be an ape too! Twilight summons a boyfriend! Hah!”

“No, no!” Spike bent over, gasping for air. He held a claw in the air and heaved a heavy breath. “She accidentally hits herself and creates a new alicorn!”

The duo stared at each other in complete silence. And then burst back into a fit of tears and jovial guffawing.

“Hello daughter, I’m Twilight Sparkle,” Spike role-played. “You were an accident.”

Rainbow played the part. “You mean, you didn’t love daddy?”

“No, daughter, I mean you were born of a stray laser beam.” He pretended to adjust a pair of glasses resting on his snout.

“Wait, wait.” Rainbow Dash scrunched her muzzle to stifle her laughter. “Okay, listen. What if… what if Twilight hit me, cloned a stallion version of me, and everypony fell in love with him?”

“Pft, Rainbow Dude? What a joke!” Spike laughed. “Next you’ll be telling me Twilight throws everypony in an alternate dimension and you all fall in love with yourselves!”

Twilight wiped a tear from her eye. “Oh Spike, that could never happen!” her face became incredibly serious at that moment. “No, really, that doesn’t happen. Ever. Don’t even joke about that. No unicorn can mess up a spell that badly.”

Author's Note