ECHIDNA

Pony (Part I)

It was happening again.

This time, it announced itself as a dull ache in the centre of her chest; Fluttershy felt it in the morning, while she was giving the ducks their breakfast with bread and water.

She breathed in quickly, and in the air it sounded like a hiss; the ducks raised their necks to look at her, and Fluttershy smiled, one hoof pressed on her chest as the pain contracted and swelled like a fist made of wires.

She breathed heavily for a few moments; and then, just like that, the sensation was gone.

In the golden light of the summer morning, Fluttershy shuddered, feeling cold and empty, her head swimming in a vertigo of anxiety and fear.

Again...?

It was too soon, too soon for her to... she looked down at her yellow hoof, pressed against her warm chest, and she slowly shook her head, making her pink curl sway.

Maybe... maybe it was something else? Maybe it was just a fleeting pain, and not...? Maybe it would just go away, if she she decided to ignore it...?

She bit her lips, while the ducks merrily feasted on the bread.

No, she needed to stay strong. Because, yes, it could just be some casual ache – maybe she hadn't slept well? - but if she was wrong... what if she was wrong, and it wasn't 'just a fleeting pain'?

The risk was too great for her to take.

Slowly, Fluttershy removed her hoof from her chest, looking down at it like waiting for another string of pain to come and grip on it, but nothing came. Then, she looked down at the ducks, and smiled at them.

“It's nothing,” she said in her soft voice. It was necessary to reassure them, make them know that nothing was wrong. “There's nothing wrong. Nothing at all.” Yes, not her, definitely not her, she was reassuring the ducks.

She left the ducks to their lunch, and then she trotted towards the cottage, greeted with a smile the animals who were just going to get up, and snatched Angel Bunny from the point where he was snoring on the couch, putting it delicately on her back with her wings. She felt like needing his company, right now.

She came to the aviary, and she saw that her hawk and eagle were already awake and enjoying their meal; they both turned to her and saluted with their wings. She nodded at the gesture, and then, in a soft voice, she said:

“Oh, hmm... good morning to you both. I was... I was wondering if you could send a pair of letters for me?”

The birds looked at each other, and then at Fluttershy again.

“Oh, but first please finish your breakfast, of course! If it's not a problem, I mean...”

The eagle just saluted again, and went back to pecking with renewed vigour. The hawk followed in tow.

Fluttershy smiled, and then she took the cards and the pen that she kept near to the aviary, and started to write two short letters.

It had been less than two months since the last time. Too soon.

A big part of her wanted to stop writing those letters and just go to the bedroom, close the windows and tuck down beneath the sheets, and hope it would go away.

Another part of her, smaller but stronger, knew that it would be a big mistake.

Then, Fluttershy finished the letters, and when the birds were ready, she attached them to their claws, and instructed them where to go – even if they both knew it well, because they had been there many times already.

She saw the birds take flight until they disappeared, and then looked back at the still sleeping form of Angel Bunny, caressing it to find a bit of comfort.

She had to leave soon.