Shame and Desire

Chapters

Unwanted
Unbelievable
Uncontrollable
Unnatural
Unclean

Unwanted

Twilight took a deep breath and held it. If she was lucky, her pursuer wouldn’t hear her, here, in the closet. It was dark, but she didn’t dare light it, lest her magic be detected.

The mare pursuing her was not her equal.

She was Twilight’s better.

Hoofsteps. “Twiiiiiilight. Come out, come out! Hide and seek is over.” No anger in the mare’s voice, either. She had no need for anger; if Twilight challenged her directly, Twilight would lose. “You know I’ll find you eventually, Twilight.”

The hoofsteps seemed to move away. A door opened, but not the closet door. “Are you in here?”

No, Twilight thought.

A few more minutes and she’d be caught. Why wasn’t she teleporting?

Wait, why aren’t I teleporting?!

It’d buy time. More importantly, it’d put distance between her pursuer and herself.

Twilight fired up her horn, aiming for just outside Ponyville, and triggered just as the door opened.

She opened her eyes. She wasn’t outside Ponyville. She wasn’t even outside the library.

Her pursuer turned from the closet with a smirk. “I set an enchantment to catch your teleportation before I started chasing you. I’m surprised it took you this long, Twilight.”

“No,” she exclaimed, shaking her head. She already felt warm tendrils of magic around her hooves; running wasn’t an option.

Her pursuer approached, the smirk spreading into a wide grin. “Now, Twilight . . . what are you running for? You know you want this.”

A stroke of magic crossed Twilight’s left buttock, and she felt her legs clench, trying to press together. “Try what you will, but I won’t break.”

“Twilight, Twilight, Twilight . . . why must you resist?” Another smirk, and every slow step brought Trixie closer. Her eyelids drooped, and her eyes pursed..

Twilight realized her breathing was faster. The touch on her butt came again, but this time it gripped and squeezed. “Well, if I just gave in, there wouldn’t be the fun of the chase.”

“Mmmmmm . . . and I do so love having to chase you.”

Twilight quivered in the grip of magic, her tail pressing down. She panted and shook her head again with a giggle. “I won’t bend to your seduction! Do what you will!”

“More lies won’t save you from the love of Trixie Lulamoon,” she purred, and her breath was on Twilight’s lips.

The touch behind her split, one grip lifting Twilight’s tail and the other probing deftly at her sex. Twilight’s eyes closed tight as she moaned out, and that sound was stifled by Trixie’s mouth on hers. The touch at her sex shifted, transforming from a slim touch to something wider, wider, and it started nudging at her entrance.

Everything was gone.

Twilight opened her eyes and closed her mouth. “What?”

A thin echo of the word came back to her in the empty library. Then, it echoed again, then again, somehow getting louder on every successive echoing. Twilight covered her ears as it got shrill and strange, almost a beeping.

She started awake to her alarm clock’s assurance that it was, indeed, three thirty -- three and a half hours after dawn, and time to wake up.

Her mane was strewn about in her face and shoulders, her pillows were on the floor, her blanket was balled up against the wall, and a thin sheen of sweat graced her fur. “Not again, not again,” she muttered, moving off the bed, looking for any wet spots.

A banging on the door came nearly the moment she shut off her alarm. “Twilight! Are you okay?”

“Oh! Uh, I’m fine, Spike. Everything is fine.” Warmth still sat in her nethers, but at least there didn’t seem to be any need for extensive cleanup. Other mornings, she’d had to wash the sheets surreptitiously.

“You sure? You sounded like you were having a nightMAAAGRHG!” Coughing came, and a plopping sound. “Uh, sorry. You have a message from the Princess, and I think I singed your door.”

“It’s fine. Just leave the scroll there and please draw me a bath. I think I need one today.”

“Oh.” Spike paused . “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. Really. I just had a nightmare, like you said.”

“Okay. I’ll get your bath going.”

Twilight flopped back on the bed for a moment.

Nightmare indeed. Twilight had been having sexual dreams virtually every night for a full two months. Each time something would be different, like the partner or the perversions or the setting. Once Dash held her down in her cloud house. Once, it was Fluttershy and a bear. Another time was the pegasus guard she’d met for all of five minutes, Flash Sentry.

She couldn’t let this go on.

Twilight opened the door, swiped up the scroll with magic, and shut it again, deftly.

My Faithful Student,

Princess Luna wishes to see you this afternoon. Please arrive at the time and location indicated.

-- Princess Celestia

“And now this,” Twilight groaned. Today was just getting worse and worse; now she was going to be worrying, incessantly, about what Luna wanted to see her for.

“It’s all set,” Spike said from the other side of the door

Twilight was startled enough to drop the scroll. “Oh! Okay. Thank you, Spike.” She yawned and went into the bathroom.

The tub was not merely ready. Spike had gone a little further -- three candles on the sink were lit, and Twilight could tell he’d put in the sandalwood bath oil. “Thank you indeed,” she muttered, getting in and settling back.

She’d need to be as relaxed as she could possibly get.

* * *

For the most part, Twilight felt put together when she arrived at the agreed location for tea. It was a private room in the castle, which only made her more nervous, but the sun was high and the day still had hours left before nighttime.

Before dreams would come.

She got there early, of course. Minutes after four noon, Twilight was there, and within a few minutes she was seated and sipping at the first tea of the teatime.

Rituals were rituals. Teatime came with three courses of tea and selected desserts meant to complement each course of tea. Today’s first tea was an Earl Gray Nag with a lesser bergamot to reduce bitterness a tad, and it was lovely.

The door opened behind Twilight, and she turned to see Luna shutting the door behind herself.

“You’ll have to excuse me, Twilight. This is, admittedly, a bit of a ruse.” She shook her head. “We won’t be having tea today.”

“We...oh. Well, I’m sure you had something you wanted to talk to me about.”

“Please do not be upset by what I need to speak with you about, Twilight -- nor what I need to do.” Luna cleared her throat. “This, ah, is a difficult thing to explain.”

Twilight blinked. “Is there anything I could do to make it easier?”

Luna bit her lip, brow furrowing, and then crossed the distance between herself and Twilight. “Give yourself to me.”

“Um, what?” Twilight leaned a little back. “What do you mean by that?”

“Give your body to me. Let me pleasure you.” Luna leaned in to nuzzle at Twilight’s cheek, and Twilight fell sideways right off the chair, onto her back.

“Pleasure?!”

“Oh! Twilight, right here on the floor?! You are such a passionate creature!” Luna’s eyes lit up and she yanked the chair away telekinetically, advancing over Twilight. “Please, Twilight. I can’t resist. Don’t tease, just . . . let me.”

“Let you -- “ Twilight cut off as her eyes caught on something swinging below Luna’s belly. “Wait, wait, what is that?!”

“Alicorn anatomy is unusual, Twilight. I thought you knew. Either way, I cannot hold back any longer.”

“But, Luna, I -- “

“Twilight,” Luna said, simply. Her brow relaxed, then furrowed in seeming worry. “Twilight. Twilight?”

Twilight woke with a start, falling out of her chair.

“Princess Luna?”

Luna was standing over her, but this was no nightmare. Twilight rubbed her face.

“You seemed to be having a bad dream. That’s actually part of why I called you for tea, Twilight.” Luna helped Twilight back on her hooves. “Of course, I do enjoy having some company around now and then, and we don’t really talk enough anyway.”

“Right. Of course.” Twilight hesitated, then dipped her head down, looking underneath Luna. Nothing was there.

“Are you all right?”

“Yes! Yes, I am. I’m much better than I was in the dream.” Twilight took a few sips of her cold Earl Gray Nag. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep.”

“I know, Luna murmured.

Twilight coughed on the tea, and found herself gasping for air. “How -- no, no, you -- you haven’t . . . “ She swallowed and tried to breath slowly. “Please, Princess, tell me you haven’t been watching my dreams. Please tell me that. Please?”

Luna tilted her head. “Twilight, I come into the dreams of those in great distress. There are, ah, exceptions, but generally that’s the only reason I enter dreams.” Her lips pursed. “However, even if I do not enter a dream, I still get a sense of it. In this case, I know you’ve been having troubling dreams, and I know there is, ah, intimate content involved.”

“How do you know that?!” Twilight shrieked. Her face felt warm and she could hear her blood in her ears. “If you didn’t see, I mean, then . . . “

“Please calm down, Twilight! Please.” Luna sighed. “I know this is hard for you. The sense I get of dreams tells me whether there is arousal, sexually, in it. If there is, I leave a pony to their private thoughts.” She looked into her tea for a few moments. “Yours started as bothersome, but have gradually grown to make you dread sleep entirely. This is not healthy.”

“I know,” Twilight whimpered, wishing she was absolutely anywhere else.

“I think it’s best if we talk more about this. Something is wrong with you, and it may be something I can help you with.” Luna brought up a bit of a smile. “I thought perhaps a bit of distance might help. Honestly, if you’re having the dreams I suspect you are having, it would be difficult to discuss with Tia, or even perhaps with the other Elements.”

“I . . . “ Twilight tilted her head. “I suppose that might actually prove true. Goddess knows I don’t want to have to discuss it with Princess Celestia.”

Luna nodded. “I promise I will never, ever divulge anything about your dreams to her. It is my domain, and while she has her, ah, ‘daydreams’, I don’t think those are going to approach what you’re experiencing in nearly the same way.”

Twilight hesitated.

“Twilight, I understand this is difficult. If you need time -- “

“I know I need deep, untroubled sleep. It's just that the nature of the dreams I'm having, it's hard for me to know about it. I'm not sure how I'd handle someone else knowing about it." Twilight failed to stifle a yawn. "For a while, I’d honestly considered coming to you myself, and asking to find some way to suppress dreaming altogether.”

Luna’s brow furrowed. “I cannot imagine how you’re suffering if it has come to that, Twilight. I can reduce the frequency a bit, but really, it’s better if it is dealt with. I am truly sorry.”

Twilight shook her head. “Don’t be. It’s not your fault at all. It’s mine.” She hesitated. “Can I just sleep on it?”

Luna’s lips tightened a moment. “It’s not a decision you should make lightly.”

“Ideally I’d keep it under control myself. I do appreciate the offer, though.”

Luna smiled again. “Well, the offer stands, Twilight. Let me know what you decide, and if you can’t make a decision, that’s a fine answer as well.”

Twilight nodded and sighed. She was exhausted beyond exhausted; she’d need to sleep and see if it was dreamless tonight. She could only hope.

“Well, Twilight. I would like to speak of something more pleasant before you leave. Would it be all right if we finish tea?”

Twilight gave a slight nod and sipped at her cold tea, suppressing another yawn.

* * *

By the time Twilight got back home, she was half drifting in the royal transport. She kept pinching herself with magic to stay awake, lest she drift off and find herself ravished by the guardscolts pulling it along.

She got out onto slightly shaky legs and nodded at them. “Thank you, sirs.” They nodded back and were gone within moments.

Twilight reentered the library and sat down at the table.

Spike leaned around the corner. “Hey! Did you have a good tea with the Princess?”

Twilight hesitated. “It was . . . informative.” She gave him a weak smile. “What’s for dinner?”

“Portabella steaks with daisy and asparagus.”

“Thank Celestia! Something substantial.” She plopped into the chair. “Spike, honestly, I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You’d be fine. You’d just have to hire a cook,” he chuckled from the kitchen.

“Ha ha ha,” she snorted back. “I’m just going to sit out here until you’re done, okay?”

“Sure. I know you’re tired.”

Twilight blinked, then got up on her hooves and came into the kitchen. “How do you know that?”

Spike looked at her as he slid the steaks onto separate plates. “C’mon, Twi. It’s pretty obvious. Seems like you’ve been having nightmares every night lately, and you always look terrible in the morning. Everyone’s noticed.”

“Everyone?”

“Well, all the other girls, I mean. Pinkie and Rarity both asked me about it, and I told them you’re having nightmares and not getting a lot of sleep.”

“Oh.” She swallowed. Why on earth would he tell them? “Why, uh, why did you do that?”

Spike tilted his head and laid the daisies beside the asparagus. “Because they were worried about you? Why wouldn’t I?”

Twilight knew they’d suspect. They’d know. They’d figure something out. Rarity in particular was entirely too capable of intuiting things like this! “I, uh, yeah. Sure. Sorry.” She swallowed and shrugged it off.

Spike picked up both plates. “C’mon, Twilight. Let’s eat before it gets cold.”

* * *

Twilight sat, reading. For some it was too low-intensity to keep themselves awake, but Twilight knew a good book could keep her attention no matter what. She specifically chose a text she hadn’t read before, but also one that wasn’t like most of her nighttime reading, lest associations drag her into an unwanted slumber.

A knock came while she was reading about a fascinating new attack on Fermare’s Theorem.

“Spike?” A moment of silence. “Oh, right, he took a walk,” Twilight muttered, shaking her head. She got up and went to the door to find Pinkie Pie. Behind her were all four of the other elements. “Oh. Hey, girls. What are you all doing here?”

“Hey, Twilight!” Pinkie piped up as the others all trotted in. “Spike told us about your problem, and I think we figured out a solution!”

Twilight blinked, looking around at all of them. “Uh, he doesn’t really know the details, Pinkie. I appreciate what you’re all -- “

“Oh, of course not! But we all kind of talked and worked it out. You’ve been having lots of sex dreams!”

Twilight struggled for breath; her legs felt shaky. “What?! That, uh -- it -- it’s not true, it -- “

“Now, darling, we are rarely wrong when we all put together our information about you. I think, based on your reaction, that we’ve hit the nail on the head.” Rarity had a knowing smile.

Dash snickered. “Head.”

AJ cut a look at Dash. “C’mon, Rainbow. Twi’s uncomfortable enough as it is.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Dash, this really isn’t the time for jokes. Our friend isn’t dealing well with this problem and we need to help make her comfortable.”

Twilight swallowed. “I really don’t want to talk about this, girls, I’m sorry. It’s a private matter.”

Rarity smiled wide and stepped forward, closer to Twilight. “Oh, Twilight . . . we’re not interested in talking at all.”

Twilight shuddered as Rarity’s mouth met her own, and tension flowed through her flesh. A tongue parted her lips, and hunger grew in her body.

Before Twilight could think more about it, her tongue responded in kind, stroking at Rarity’s.

Words floated to her, seemingly from Fluttershy. “We can make you very, very comfortable, Twilight,” she purred.

Touch came in the form of licks. Two mouths came to her wings, which had flared open during the kiss, it seemed. From the expertise used in the preening, it seemed certain that Dash and Fluttershy were the two working there. Every feather was attached to sensitive flesh, and every movement of them came with corresponding pleasure.

“See, I think you’re getting right calm now,” AJ breathed, and the warm words washed over Twilight’s ear. She bleated a moan into Rarity’s mouth, then fell into whimpering further as Rarity lifted her mouth away.

“Darling, let us help you. You needn’t worry,” she murmured, nosing at Twilight’s cheek.

Breath washed over Twilight’s sex, and her tail lifted. She was ready, fuck was she ready. Four other mouths moved over sensitive flesh.

Rarity moved to the other ear as Applejack moved into place to kiss Twilight and Pinkie’s tongue gave the first lapping stroke across her sex and Fluttershy and Dash took another few primaries in their mouths --

Spike jostled her again. “Twilight! Wake up!”

Twilight gasped for air like she was drowning. Maybe she was. She blinked at Spike, shaking her head.

“You were making sounds and I heard your book fall, and I came down here, and . . . “ He looked down, brow furrowing. “I think you peed in your sleep, Twilight.”

“Spike,” Twilight gasped out, shaking her head. “Go upstairs. I’ll clean up. Please.”

“It smells weird.” Spike hesitated, his lips pursing for a moment, and then his eyes lifted up and met Twilight’s.

“Please,” she whimpered, shaking her head with more emphasis. “Just go upstairs.”

Spike blinked a few times, and took a step back. “Are you okay, Twilight?”

“No. I am not okay,” she whispered. “Spike, I need you to take a letter once I’m done cleaning up. It’s for Princess Luna, but Princess Celestia will give it to her.”

Unbelievable

The moment Spike burped up a response, Twilight snatched it out of the air to read it.

Dear Twilight,

I hope I can help. Starting this evening, you may feel free to expect to see me in your dreams. I will try to keep myself to the ones that are disturbing. I have asked Celestia to simply send this message, and not read it, as the matter is private.

The first thing I must tell you to change is one that may be very frightening to consider: You must make sure you do not interrupt your dreams as much. Half a dream is informative, but a whole dream is ideal. If you’re using any spells or enchanted objects to wake yourself if you become distressed, remove their effect from your bedroom and yourself. The same goes for Spike -- let him know not to interrupt your nightmares when you have them. If we cannot survey the landscape, our effort will be much more difficult.

I should make you aware that you may find you become increasingly lucid as the dreams go on. This is to say, you may find yourself becoming aware of the fact you’re dreaming. For now, I am sure it will be fleeting or inconsistent. Please just take any appearance of me as a sign you are dreaming.

Also, do not be concerned about the hours you find sleep. I can suppress my need for sleep for a rather long time, and have requested that Celestia handle the raising of the moon in my stead. I have nothing else taking up my time except light reading, and I will be watching, I promise.

You won’t have to go through this alone.

-- Princess Luna

Twilight knew she was going to have to take calmroot, and lots of it, just to get to sleep. Now that she knew Luna would come see the absolute filth carrying on in her head, she wanted to sleep less than ever.

“Twilight?” The word cut through drifting gauzy thoughts about warmth and sleep that were coming unbidden.

“Yes!” Twilight shifted on her hooves, lifting her head. A spot of drool was on the letter; she was starting to drowse off again. “I’m awake.”

“I thought you were.” Spike came out of the bedroom and down the stairs. “Twilight, what are you going to do about the sleeping problem?”

She sighed and looked at Spike for a long few minutes. He was growing up, sure, but even at twelve years, he might as well be minutes old. Still too young to grasp some of the real complexity. “Well, that’s actually what I was seeing Princess Luna about.”

“Really? What did she tell you?” Spike scrambled down the stairs, panting a little in front of her when he stopped.

Twilight blinked. Luna hadn’t really told her much at all. “Well, she -- offered to help me. And the reason I had to send a scroll off to her was because I changed my mind and decided I do need her help.”

Spike blinked. “You said no at first?”

Twilight hesitated. “Yes.” She shifted on the stool.

“But . . . why would you do that?! Twilight! You’re miserable! You can’t get any sleep!” Spike’s mouth hung open as he looked for more things to say, his eyes scanning and sweeping. “Why?”

For a few moments she couldn’t find useful words. “It’s a really embarrassing problem.” Saying it out loud made her feel vague nausea bubbling up in her tummy. “That’s all. I wanted to try to fix it myself.”

Spike’s brow furrowed, and he shook his head. “I don’t understand, Twilight, but I guess you must have had a good reason.” He blinked at her, his eyes seeming brighter but his mouth tight.

Twilight swallowed. I can’t believe I was this selfish. “I . . . it seemed like one at the time, Spike. I guess it wasn’t as good as I thought.” She hesitated. “Spike, come here, okay?” She held her forelegs open wide, and Spike approached and settled against her.

This. Why couldn’t this be it? Why couldn’t she just feel this about others and have it stay at that? Twilight’s sex drive had never, not once, caused her any problems before. Even her seasons were low-maintenance affairs, requiring only a basic sequestering during the worst. Staying in the library with only Spike had proven to virtually eliminate any problematic biological impulses, but now she was dreading her next season, and it was only two weeks off. Twilight had no idea what was going to happen during the next one if she was still having these nightmares.

She sighed and released him.

He blinked up at her and rubbed one eye. “Thanks. Sorry. I know I’m not a baby any more.”

She chuckled. “It’s okay to be a baby sometimes, Spike. I was kind of being foalish when I said no to Princess Luna.”

Spike hesitated, then shrugged. “It’s okay. I forgive you.” He trotted off to the kitchen. “Do you want coffee or tea or anything? I’m going to put water on for tea.”

“No, it’s . . . it’s fine.” Twilight shook her head and took a deep breath. “We just need to talk a little more about what Princess Luna’s ‘help’ will entail. It’s going to be a little strange, but I think if we’re careful we’ll get through it.”

I hope.

* * *

Once she’d explained to Spike not to disturb her bad dreams and taken a little extra ground calmroot, she settled herself into bed and pulled the covers over herself.

She tossed and turned for a while, indeed, but soon she felt it crawling over her mind, sleep slipping tendrils through her mind. The pillow became increasingly comfortable for her head, and even her wings had settled down.

Awareness trickled into her consciousness as she drifted. Soon, stone seemed to be under her hooves, cold and smooth as if it had seen hundreds of winters. She lifted her head, and found herself looking around a throne chamber.

It was a room that had changed her life. She’d recognize it anywhere.

This is where we found the Elements. This is where I first realized I actually wanted to have friends, because I couldn’t face this alone.

Blue-black smoke consumed a pedestal, and a brilliant electric cackle filled the air.

Twilight’s mouth was suddenly dry. This is where I met Nightmare Moon. She cast about and her gaze met the eyes of the rest of the girls, ready and steadfast.

Wait -- four of them? Where was Rarity?

“Twilight Sparkle, you have dared to challenge me, even though your superior, Princess Celestia, is currently my prisoner. What do you have to say for yourself?”

Twilight’s breathing was fast now, and she looked to her left and right. Pinkie was gone. She turned her attention to the cloud again. “I won’t back down! I have my friends to help me!”

“Do you? Really?” Nightmare chuckled, pursing her lips. “Tell me, where are they now?”

Twilight looked again. Applejack and Fluttershy and Dash had been there a minute ago. Hadn’t they?

“I don’t know,” Twilight murmured, stepping back. Her legs thought that idea was a good one, and she realized she was stepping back slowly without trying to.

For a few seconds, anyway.

“You’re not going anywhere, Twilight Sparkle. You’re at my mercy, and I have very little.” Nightmare Moon stalked towards her, slow and sure, and was getting closer.

Twilight realized her legs couldn’t move and looked down; glowing toroids of magic surrounded them. Telekinetic fields of most unicorns felt soft if they had this much to create, but Nightmare Moon’s felt as if they were made of old stone, as if they’d been there before Twilight existed. “Please, don’t, just . . . let me go, please . . . ” she whimpered, lifting her head just in time to catch a glimpse of something behind Nightmare.

A blue something. It was too dark for Dash -- who could it be?

“Why would I let you go? Celestia’s silly little protege will provide endless amusement for me. Do you know how I captured your dear Princess?”

Twilight shook her head, but there was another movement of blue in the background.

“I promised her I would do no lasting harm to you and the other five if she allowed me to imprison her. She took that deal, gratefully, hoping you would all somehow come here and defeat me. Absurd.”

“N-No harm?” Twilight was quivering, but her hooves were still held fast in magic. “Then I’m free to go?”

“Of course not.” Nightmare’s eyes narrowed and her triumphant smile shifted, tightened, then relaxed again into nearly . . . a pout. “I chose my words carefully, Twilight. No lasting harm. Psychological trauma isn’t forever, and I can find endless solutions for torturing you that don’t involve permanent physical damage.”

Twilight swallowed. Oh, goddess, no, no, no! She felt a flex in the muscle of her hind legs as they tried to squeeze together. The magic holding them in place shifted to separate them further.

“Your scent is lovely, Twilight. I’m sure you’ll come to appreciate mine once you’re introduced properly.” Nightmare took a last step forward and brought her muzzle close to Twilight’s, close enough that Nightmare’s breath drifted over Twilight’s chin.

Twilight closed her eyes. She knew what would come next: Nightmare Moon was making it obvious that she was going to do whatever she felt like to Twilight. Twilight didn’t shut her eyes because of that, though. She shut her eyes because she could feel a flex between her legs, a flush trying to come to the surface of her cheeks.

A moment passed.

Another moment passed, and Twilight realized she felt no breath on her chin.

“Twilight?” Princess Luna’s words were to her immediate right.

Twilight yelped and opened her eyes; Nightmare Moon loomed in her view, but to her right there was indeed Princess Luna. Nightmare Moon didn’t move, but Luna blinked at her. “Princess? How are you . . . but we didn’t . . . ” Realization seeped in. “This is a dream, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is, Twilight.” Luna’s face seemed to be a vague apology. “And that is Nightmare Moon, and your subconscious chose this precise scenario.”

“Oh, goddess, I, uh . . . ” Panic squealed through Twilight’s mind, and her body in the dream responded in kind with little twitches, but her hooves were still held fast. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Princess Luna! I’ve never had one of these before!”

Luna tilted her head. “Truly?”

“Yes! Wait -- I don’t think so? I . . . no, I’ve had it once or twice, I think. But it’s not one of the usual ones! I had no idea it was going to happen tonight!”

“Twilight, you’re not the first pony -- nor even the first mare -- to have a dream along these lines.” Luna let out a sigh. “I will admit I didn’t expect it from you, but the subconscious mind does what the subconscious mind does.”

“I’m not?”

Luna’s gaze shifted to the frozen-in-place Nightmare Moon with a sultry smile on her face. “She terrorized a large segment of the population. She is in the collective unconsciousness of all equinity. She is frequently a monster in the dreams of ponies.” She hesitated. “Particularly the ones from Ponyville.” Luna’s mouth tightened, and she took a deep breath. “As sex is something of a taboo, it is rather often that she is a sexual figure.” Luna gave a little shrug. “She has power. Power is terrifying all by itself.” The Princess swallowed. “Both Celestia and I figure as terrifying dream tormentors for some, but more often she is seen as benevolent and I am seen as . . . “ Luna trailed off.

Twilight blinked, and felt her mouth open and close a few times. She had too much to respond to, and it took her a minute to decide what to respond to first. “Princess, I . . . I’m sorry.”

Luna shook her head. “It’s all right. Most of those who’ve met her personally dream of her, at some point or another. She is a rather striking presence.”

Twilight brought her gaze forward, to meet the predatory stone gaze of Nightmare Moon again. It was not quite the expression Twilight had seen before in real life on Nightmare Moon’s face, of course, but it fit so well. Twilight swallowed, one of her hooves testing the magic bond as if by reflex.

Luna cleared her throat. “Twilight, if you wish, I’ll end this dream for you. It would be quite jarring.“ Luna cut off and her eyes traveled the floor for a moment. “However, it might be better than seeing what you think Nightmare Moon is capable of.”

Twilight swallowed and shifted, her hooves still stuck fast, unable to find a logical response.

Luna lifted her eyes again and tilted her head. “If you’d rather go forward with it, well, only you can know what you believe Nightmare Moon might have done to you in such, ah, unsavory circumstances. I will warn you, though, that dreams that happen frequently may hold very pertinent clues about your issues. If this comes up again, it may be a sign that we need to let it proceed at least once.”

Twilight blinked. How familiar did this feel?

It felt deeply familiar.

Twilight hesitated, and her eyes pulled back to meet Luna’s.

Pain.

She’d seen sadness in Princess Luna’s eyes before, on a dark Nightmare Night, but this was more. This was something else, something deeper, something not merely wounding but agonizing.

She doesn’t want to see a reminder. And how well am I going to function if my dream itself is antagonizing my guide?

“I think . . . I think maybe you’re right, Princess Luna.”

“Twilight, you’re a princess too. And right in which way? Do you want to let this continue, or do you want to stop the dream and wake?” The faintest trace of . . . irritation?

Twilight blinked. Oh, right. She still had plenty of dreams where she was a unicorn, and considering the timing of this dream, it made sense she didn’t have wings here -- but she did in the real world. “Luna, please stop the dream. If it comes up again, well, we can let it continue then.”

A small, tight smile found its way onto Luna’s face. “Very well. You’ll be awake shortly, Twilight.“

Luna was gone.

Color seeped back into the world around her, and the cold point of time became a line again. The smile stretched wider on Nightmare Moon’s face.

Twilight shut her eyes. She said she’d stop it, she’ll stop it. She has to. Right?

Lips pressed against Twilight’s, strange and cool. Twilight’s breath picked up fast through her nose, and she whimpered at the touch, but she herself couldn’t read how much of it was fear and how much was anticipation.

No, no, no, no! This has to stop!

A low rumble came, like thunder but not distant and not a rumble at all.

The kiss broke, and Twilight’s eyes opened as the rumble became louder, stronger, shook right up through her legs.

Nightmare Moon was gone. So was Luna, in fact. All that remained were Twilight and her petrified friends.

A chunk of the roof shot through Twilight’s vision, coming down, straight through Applejack’s horrified statue. The head skittered to a stop at Twilight’s hoof, and she looked down at it, the eyes wide and the mouth open, a scream captured in stone.

My hooves aren’t bound any more. The thought plodded dully through her brain, unable to get real progress in her thoughts. All she could do is look at Applejack’s head, shattered from her body.

More of the destroyed castle started to crack and shudder. The lights in the night sky were winking out as rocks and plaster fell, smashing into the floor with force that seemed unusual. Pinkie’s leg launched across Twilight’s vision only to embed in a wall moments before it too came crumbling down and the entire thing collapsed not down but inward, inward towards Twilight --

* * *

Twilight’s eyes opened as she howled herself awake.

“It was a dream,” she whispered, trying to force her breath to calm, shaking. Her fur was wet and clung to her skin like a sweater in the rain.

The moon was cloaked in thick cloud cover. All weather services were indicating unpredictable showers over Ponyville for the next two weeks, due to errant Everfree weather systems coming that way.

I suppose I should be glad it’s not raining.

“Twilight!” Spike, banging on the door, of course. “Are you okay? Was it just another nightmare?”

“Yes,” she said. After a moment, she realized she’d barely said it loud enough to hear herself, and raised her voice a little. “Yes. I’m fine, Spike. I’m all right.”

“Oh. Um, okay.” Pause. “Well, let me know if you need milk or anything?”

“I will, Spike. I’m sorry I woke you up.”

“I’m okay. I was just worried about you.”

“I’m fine, really. Go ahead and go back to sleep, okay?”

“Okay.” He paused again. “I miss having my bed in there, Twilight.”

Twilight sighed and drew a long breath. She’d only set up Spike in a separate room two months ago, and it still felt off somehow without his snoring near her bed. “I miss having you in here too, Spike, but you still need sleep. Okay?”

“Okay. Good night, Twilight.”

“Night, Spike.”

Twilight sighed and flopped back into the bed. Her mane felt like it’d been drenched, and she was still jittery. She could only wonder what Princess Luna was doing at the moment. Most likely she’d just gone back to her light reading.

Twilight yawned again and rolled out of bed, onto her hooves. She felt odd, and a look at the clock told her why: She’d slept for nearly five straight hours.

It didn’t feel nearly that long!

She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a long stretch of uninterrupted sleep, but she still didn’t feel rested.

Twilight floated the journal she’d set aside for this process over, along with the quill. She knew impressions of dreams would fade quickly, and that they might prove valuable for the process.

5:44 Night, April 16th

This was the first night dreaming with Princess Luna’s help. I had a dream about Nightmare Moon, and it was very unpleasant.

Twilight stopped.

I can’t keep dancing around the topic like this! These are personal notes. I have to just . . . make myself write it. I can burn this journal when I’m done, just to get rid of it, but while I’m working on it, I have to just do it.

She sighed and continued.

It was when we defeated her originally, except Nightmare Moon made me think my friends abandoned me the first time I needed them. She actually made them invisible and turned them to stone while she distracted me. I asked Luna to stop the dream, though, and I saw their statues shatter when the dream broke up.

I didn’t like the dream breaking like that, but really -- what do I think Nightmare Moon might have done to me? And how could I let Princess Luna see it, if what I think might have happened would have happened? She seemed so hurt that I was dreaming of Nightmare Moon.

Twilight hesitated and dipped her quill in ink again, considering. She needed to look at it from all sides. There was progress in what she’d just done, right?

She took up the pen again.

I don’t think it was all in vain, though. At least now I couldn’t possibly end up having a dream about anyone more embarrassing, considering that Luna’s likely to see it all.

Right?

Uncontrollable

Twilight lay in her bed for a good few hours before realizing she’d gotten precisely enough sleep to keep from complete narcolepsy, but not enough to feel any sort of rest. She’d read about this, when studying the physical effects of insomnia. There was a survival gap, an amount of sleep that would allow a pony to survive but not thrive.

“I need to thrive again,” she murmured. “Maybe if I get some sleep now, I won’t get any dreams. It’s possible, right?”

The room did not respond.

“Right.” She swallowed and turned on her side, closing her eyes. She could just let herself rest for a while, and perhaps dreamless sleep would come.

She started awake what seemed like no time at all later, to a knocking on her door. “Twilight, darling? Spike said you’d be awake by now. Are you feeling all right?”

Of course. Twilight had forgotten about Rarity coming over. “Yes! Sorry.” She rubbed her face. “Come in, Rarity. I just woke up, I’ll have to get ready.”

Rarity opened the door and trotted in. “I didn’t mean to wake you, Twilight. Spike mentioned you didn’t get much sleep last night. Should we just reschedule?”

Twilight shook her head. “No, I should be fine.” For a moment, Twilight chased her mental tail. “Wait, what were we doing today, again?” She shifted in bed, covers sliding with gravity’s pull as she blinked to try to think.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten, Twilight?” Rarity pouted and sat herself on the corner of the foot of Twi’s bed.

“I . . . huh. I guess I have. I’m really sorry, Rarity. I’ve just been all kinds of scrambled lately.”

“That’s all right. I’d feel more hurt if I hadn’t told you to forget, I suppose.” Rarity’s horn took on a glow, and a smile played on her lips.

“I guess that makes . . . wait, what?” Twilight watched Rarity. Did something seem off? Wrong? Out of place?

“Are you all right?” Rarity tilted her head, the smile still there.

“I’m okay. I think. What did you say?”

“I think you heard me, Twilight.” Rarity giggled and covered her mouth with a hoof.

Twilight was sure she was hearing things, until she felt the touch of something on her horn. Something that circled it, something made of cool metal. She’d seen them only in books about horrible, horrible ponies doing horrible things to each other, but she knew instantly what it was: A limiter ring.

Twilight willed herself to teleport, and felt nothing happen. She made to move off the bed and realized she could not move.

“Shhhh, that’s all right. I’ll let you know when you can move again, Twilight. And I’m sure that on some level, even if it’s just sheer curiosity, you’ll want to find out sooner, rather than later, why you can’t move now.” Rarity’s smile spread out. “You may nod if you’d like me to tell you now.”

Twilight nodded. Her throat seemed to twist in her neck and knot her stomach.

“Excellent. I do enjoy laying things out beforehand.” Rarity took a languid breath in, her eyes closing, her chest rising . . . and then falling. “You’re unable to move, Twilight, because of a hypnotic suggestion I planted during our second session.”

Second session?

Rarity smiled. “Do you want to know what happened during our second session? I can review it if you’d like, but really, this will be a short session. I’d have to leave out a lot of details, and perhaps you’d want to hear about it in full during our next session.” The mare leaned towards Twilight, letting herself lay on her tummy, rear legs dangling, one forehoof propping her head up under the muzzle, the other one settling down on top of the bunched duvet, pointing in Twi’s general direction.

Twilight felt a breath choke in her lungs.

“You needn’t be afraid, Twilight.” Rarity’s eyes seemed to sparkle. “Which is to say, let the fear go.”

Twilight’s knotted stomach untied itself. Calm did not come, not quite, but the gripping horror melted away. Twilight’s eyes cast towards the window, only to find she was looking at the wall.

“I tell you what, Twilight. If you’d like to review the details, then that would be the only thing we could do this session. But if you’d like to move on with this session, and enjoy your time more, I’d be happy to oblige that.” Rarity’s ear twitched. “You may speak your answer, dear.”

“How can I make that choice if I don’t know what generally happens in these, uh, ‘sessions’?” Twilight tried to keep talking, but her mouth simply shut after her ‘answer’ was done, as if somehow it was impossible to continue.

“Oh! What generally happens? I can cover that in two sentences.” Rarity’s smile spread wider and she shifted on the bed, somehow getting closer despite making no obvious effort to do so. “I use implanted triggers and the limiter ring to make you feel absolutely, utterly helpless. Then, we experience mutual pleasures of the flesh while you are controlled.”

What.

“I can see this is one of the times you’re disbelieving. Allow me to help you. Twilight, remember the afternoon of Wednesday three weeks ago.”

A memory floated into place. A memory of Rarity’s scent in the fur of Twilight’s muzzle, of the primal taste of sex, of the touch of a hoof that sent her body into convulsive orgasm. A memory that explained all the sore muscles the next day, as well as the spa visit with Rarity that alleviated those same muscles. Knowing winks. Jokes that Twilight must be seeing somepony to have been exerting herself that much.

“Yes. That’s the truth, Twilight.” Rarity’s eyebrow lifted up, as her free hoof traced a circle on the duvet. “You gave yourself to me, out of trust and love, and I have taken what you have given.”

This has to be it! This has to be why I’’m having these dreams! Why on earth would I ever have done this with Rarity?!

“Perhaps you’re wondering where that started. I could just make you remember, but I’d rather tell it. I certainly can’t tell anyone else, since little miss princess has to have her royal privacy.” Rarity giggled. “While I was three cosmarepolitans in one day, I confessed to you one day that I had an interest in erotic hypnosis. All utterly consensual, of course, but it hardly seemed like the sort of thing you’d be interested in. You claimed you were curious for ‘scientific reasons’, but once you were under you admitted urges and feelings that actually made you ask. Things progressed from there, and rather rapidly, I must say.”

Twilight simultaneously didn’t believe it was even possible, but everything in her head agreed with the statements.

“You requested that it be kept secret, and since you have issues blurting out thoughts at times, you asked that I tuck all this information back away in your memory when we aren’t having experiences. You also indicated you enjoyed the ‘newness’ of it, so you didn’t want full memory of previous sessions. I’ve explained this to you every time after the sixth session.” Rarity chuckled. “Oh, Twilight. If you could remember what we have done and when. Your tongue has found its way into every crease and fold.” Rarity’s hoof took a long, slow stroke along Twilight’s rear leg. “And every time, it is like the first time, with you hungry and needing and novel.”

Twilight quivered under the duvet. Warmth seemed to grow deep inside her lower abdomen, the sort of warmth reserved for bad dreams and bad touch from her own hoof. I shared myself with Rarity?! Why would I ever do that? Why would I give her control over this?

“You think too much, Twilight.” Rarity chuckled and shifted on the bed so that she was laying besides Twi, on top of the duvet. “I think you’ll agree that, with the choice of relaxing and accepting now or later, now would be preferable. You’ll enjoy yourself so much more, I assure you.”

Thoughts fled Twilight’s mind, to be replaced by dirty, dirty things. The memory of her muzzle between Rarity’s legs, warmth radiating from the other mare’s sex, scent drawing Twilight to use her tongue, taste drawing Twilight to use it more.

I should be a good girl.

“And what do good girls do, Twilight?”

Good girls eat pussy. Hunger gnawed at Twilight’s brain, the starvation of need. “Please, Miss Rarity, may I serve you with my mouth?”

“Really, three weeks of not eating pussy must be terrible for you.” Rarity pulled the duvet off Twilight’s body, then laid back on the pillows right next to Twilight. “I know you’ve come to love the taste so much that you beg for it if I go two weeks. Here we are at three. I cannot imagine how much need has built up in you. Get in your position for this service.”

Twilight trembled. Her muscles worked again, but not for her, against her. She got on all fours on the bed and arranged herself between Rarity’s hind legs, and her eyes could not move from Rarity’s sex if she tried. Pale white flesh met at the cleft in the middle. The dirty word ‘lips’ floated to mind, and somehow only made her want to kiss it more. She knew the taste behind them was just the flow of Rarity’s Skene glands, intellectually, but right now that was a footnote to the surreal knowledge that the flavor told her she was where she belonged.

“Bring your muzzle closer, Twilight. Take in the scent of your owner.”

Twilight could not help but obey. On some level she was aware and horrified, but the voice telling her it was wrong was too small to hear properly. Her nose came to within a centimeter of Rarity’s warm, soft sex, and stopped. Twilight’s lungs drew the scent in, and she felt her mouth water.

“Is this not the meal you desired, pet?”

“Yes,” Twilight whimpered, knowing her breath would wash over the delicate flesh. Somehow it was true, or else she wouldn't have said it. Right?

Rarity made a vague, pleased sound. “You may serve now.”

Twilight’s muzzle came ever so slightly closer, and her tongue slid out. She pressed it flat against the bottom of the cleft, and slowly brought it upwards. The slightest of leaks came as she did, the labia flexing, the taste of the fluids mingling with a thick moan on Twilight's lips.

“Mmmmm, yes.” Rarity breathed the words out, watching Twilight close. “That’s the taste of the one who owns you. The one you allowed yourself to be addicted to. My taste lives in your brain, and always shall. If you’re good, it’ll stay on your tongue, always.”

Twilight heard the words and wanted to say something, anything, but could not find a way to do so. Not while a delicious, pristine, perfectly seasoned cunny was here in front of her, and not while her tongue was directed by her owner. She applied more pressure with her tongue and the tip slid between the flesh.

Rarity’s body flexed, her hips shifting forward. Whether it was conscious or not, it was clear Twilight was doing something right.

The cognizance of that drew another moan out of Twilight, one she could feel in her face and muzzle as her body started to work without conscious thought. Twilight stroked her probing tongue along inside the labia as if cleaning the petals, hungry but thorough, knowing somehow that it had been laid out for her by her owner.

Shame blossomed for a moment as Twilight tried to force herself to focus on her movements and thoughts, but her mouth did not stop.

“Sometimes you actually orgasm just from this, Twilight. You have come to enjoy worshipping my sex -- hnnngh -- to such a degree that you orgasm from it sometimes.”

Twilight knew in an instant that it was the truth. Snaking touches of memory, of crying out into Rarity’s sex in ecstasy while every muscle in her body sang in tension, told her it was the absolute shameful truth. And, as much as she felt broken for realizing how much she enjoyed eating Rarity’s pussy, she could not stop herself. She brought her tongue up in another stroke across velvety flesh, her eyes shut in reverence now, the scent and flavor and texture her entire world for the time being.

“That’s my girl. That’s where your mouth belongs. Oh, the world has demands and responsibilities but nothing has ever given you so much pleasure as this, I think. Even the dreams you had about Celestia didn’t compare, from what you told me.” Rarity made a stifled choking sound and rolled her hips, snugging Twilight’s muzzle against her flesh, seating her nose against the outer labia.

Twilight whimpered into Rarity, her tongue snaking between her own nose and the flesh, her head shifting back slightly. The entire front of her muzzle was wet and smelled of her owner. Logic told her those weren’t the right words, but logic had no foothold to try to tell her anything else at all, and logic’s assurance fell away almost as soon as it arrived.

“I think you’re rather close now, Twilight.” Strain had leaked into Rarity’s voice. The flexing tension in Rarity’s hind legs suggested she was enjoying the ministrations, but Rarity seemed to gain pleasure from not displaying it openly, somehow. “I know I am.”

Twilight moaned into Rarity’s sex. Need eclipsed all else, and she needed to feel the mare she served bucking against her face.

Her tongue stroked upwards inside the labia, parting between the smallest of folds surrounding and protecting the clitoris. It drew a sharp stifled gasp from the mare she served.

“Good girl.” Finally, Rarity was breathless and losing composure. “More. Focus your attention, there -- nnngh! -- there shouldn’t be much more!”

Twilight’s tongue took the gentlest pressure to stroke along the center of the hood, and a thick, raw moan floated out of the idol she worshipped. She probed slowly downwards until she found the spot, and instantly it was new and familiar at the same time, strange echoes of it casting through her memory.

Twilight flexed her tongue into a tip to try to stay inside the hood as much as possible, then traced the tip around the nub. As she did, a hoof settled onto the back of Twilight’s head.

Rarity bucked and howled, pressing encouragement on her possession, leaking fluid that Twilight’s chin caught. The free hoof whacked into the pillows while Rarity’s howls broke into sharp squeals and cries, shudders pulsing through Rarity’s body at will.

Twilight couldn’t be certain how long the climax lasted, somehow. Her sense of time seemed to be a casualty of whatever suggestions Rarity had loaded into her head. She knew, however, when to stop.

Rarity pushed her head away, panting and shuddering. “Enough, pet. Stop.” She struggled for breath, staring down at Twilight, her eyes nearly shut. “If you can, you may cum now.”

At the end of the sentence, Twilight spasmed. She couldn’t tell how long she’d been here, lapping at Rarity’s pussy like a feral animal finding food, and somehow that only made it more intense. Muscles gripped tight around joints that felt like solid bone, and pleasure tore through her flesh.

For a bright, bizarre, shining moment there was nothing in the room, nothing in the world, save for Twilight and Rarity.

“Twilight?”

The moment faded and her body felt as though she’d never move again. She was out of breath, she was spent and shuddering and pain tugged at her left fore haunch as if it were sprained.

“Twilight, sweetheart?” Rarity’s voice was soft, her breath caught again. She seemed almost concerned.

Twilight opened her eyes to see her ceiling.

Oh no.

“Twilight?” The voice was more distant, and muffled.

Twilight got on unsteady hooves. The vague memory of drowning in pleasure faded with every movement, but real life was calling and the sooner she could put that horrible dream behind her, the better.

“Darling, are you all right?”

“Yes! Yes, I’m okay.” Twilight pulled back the duvet -- no spots, no signs. Good. The scent that washed across Twi’s nose told her that there had been some physical reactions. Paranoia reigned. Twilight fetched a towel and wiped her face in case of drool or sweat, then pressed it against her rear, just to be certain. She tucked it into the hamper and turned to face the door. “Come in, it’s okay.”

Rarity slowly opened the door, her brow furrowed. “If you were getting sleep, then I can let you get back to it. I know you’ve gotten very little rest lately.”

Twilight felt her throat spasm and shook her head vigorously. “No! No, no, no.”

Rarity tilted her head. “I take it you were having a nightmare?”

“Yes.” Twilight forced her breathing to slow and swallowed saliva, hoping to calm her insides. “Yes, I was.”

Rarity shook her head. “I’m sorry. It must have been terrible.”

Twilight forced herself to make eye contact with Rarity. This is the real world. This is the real Rarity. Maintain this and act normal. Act normal! She felt muscles pull a smile into place, and after a moment, it almost felt genuine.

Rarity’s mouth opened and closed for a few moments.

Twilight swallowed. Was it a prophetic dream? Wait -- had she actually woken up? Or had Rarity plugged that into her memory, somehow? Rarity had made her forget about so much, in the dream. Right?

A hoof touched Twilight’s left forehaunch, and she whipped her gaze back to Rarity. Rarity’s foreleg was extended. Rarity was touching her.

Twilight heard the shriek before she grasped that it was her own, and felt the room shift around her as her legs folded up.

Rarity’s mouth hung open. Her eyes were wide, her ears laid back and trembling, and her brow was furrowed deep. “I was . . . I was only trying to demonstrate that I care, Twilight. We’re all worried about you these days.”

Spike shoved through the door a moment later. “What is it? What happened?”

Twilight swallowed and shook her head at Rarity. She was trying to think but blood was too loud in her eardrums, and she couldn’t focus enough to understand the words.

Rarity and Spike looked at each other, mouths moving, sounds coming but strange.

Twilight took a few hard deep breaths, and words became words again.

“ -- realized it’d gotten so terrible. Has she told Princess Celestia?”

“No, but Princess Luna knows.” Spike sighed and came towards Twilight to help her get back in bed. “I don’t think it’s helping yet. I -- I don’t really know what to do, Rarity.”

“It sounds like perhaps Luna’s underestimated Twilight’s situation. Maybe you should send Celestia a message and ask for it to be relayed to Luna?”

“Yeah, maybe I should.” Spike wasn’t looking at Rarity as he said it. His eyes were fixed on Twilight, who was in the bed now.

Twilight heard the responses but didn’t have words. She didn’t want to bother Princess Luna with trivialities like her mental breakdown. She didn’t want to suffer through more of this, either. Now her friends were not simply themselves, they were something far worse, something horrible. Spike’s face showed signs of worry repeated over weeks, scales dried and flaked in places where they’d never been before.

Twilight’s eyes shifted from Spike to Rarity. Rarity’s worry was younger than Spike’s, but it was definitely there.

“Contact Princess Luna, Spike.” Twilight swallowed and made eye contact with Rarity.

She could imagine all too easily the chain of events. She’d slowly become terrified of each of her friends because of these ludicrous, deviant dreams and find herself sequestered in the library. Even Spike --

Twilight gasped and shook her head. “No, no, no, no!”

“What is it? Twilight? Talk to me! Please?”

Twilight shut her eyes and covered them with hooves. She didn’t want to see his face. She didn’t want to think about what horrid things might bubble out of the back of her brain now. “Just contact Princess Luna. Please. Just do it, and -- and tell her I’ve reconsidered. Tell her I’ll join her in Canterlot.”

For a moment, all of them breathed, and then Spike spoke up again. “I didn’t know it was getting worse. I hope she can help you.” Footsteps told Twilight he walked out of the room.

“Twilight, please talk to me?” Rarity’s voice came a little closer but became softer. “I’m so sorry I upset you.”

“It’s not you, it’s me.” Twilight trembled on the bed, shaking her head, eyes still covered. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scream.”

“Twilight, would you look at me for a moment?”

Twilight took a deep breath, then brought her hooves down, and opened her eyes.

Rarity. The real Rarity, who would never do anything untoward to a friend, certainly not to a best friend.

A cautious smile brightened the white mare’s expression. “I’m sure Princess Luna can help you, no matter what. I just want you to be okay. Okay?”

Twilight tried to smile back and almost succeeded. “Yes. I hope she can. And thank you, Rarity. I’m sorry.”

Rarity shook her head. “It’s fine, really. We all just want you to be all right, especially Spike. I know he takes care of you in some ways but really, you’re a mother to him, and I can’t imagine how he feels right now.”

“No, you’re right, I’m . . . I’m just so tired, Rarity. I don’t even know if I am helpable.”

“Now, none of that. I don’t know what’s affecting your sleep, but I’d be quite surprised if the combined efforts of the Princess of the night and the Princess of friendship couldn’t handle it. Just trust Princess Luna. You’ll be all right.”

Twilight sighed and nodded. “Okay.”

Rarity smiled. “If you’d like a hug, I wouldn’t mind one myself.”

Twilight hesitated, but nodded. “Yes. I could use a hug from a friend at the moment.”

Rarity didn’t even smell the same as in the dream. In the dream there was a distinct, unmistakeable scent of need, and Rarity simply didn’t have it.

Twilight realized she was hugging Rarity while she sat on her bed a moment after she heard a sharp intake of breath through Rarity’s nose.

Rarity took a step back, and tilted her head. “Twilight, I -- no. A lady shouldn’t ask, particularly if you’re already slated to get some extra help.”

Spike came through the door, and a hesitant smile bloomed on his face. “So she’s looking at stuff again? That’s good, right?”

“Y-Yes. Yes it is, Spike. What did Luna say?” Twilight shifted on the bed.

“I got a reply back immediately. She said there’s going to be a chariot here in less than two hours.”

“Two? But -- “

“Darling, no. I cannot leave you high and dry at this point. Spike is welcome to sleep over at the Boutique some nights if he needs to, and I’ll come over to check on him regularly anyway. It’s the least I can do, considering that we’re friends.”

Twilight nodded. “Okay.” Looks shifted between the three of them. “I guess I should pack, then.”

Spike shook his head. "I got this, Twilight. Don't worry, just relax, okay? Just rest."

Rarity and Twilight watched him walk out of the room again, and Rarity shook her head. "He is really devoted, Twilight. So how long will you be in Canterlot?"

Twilight felt like she was sagging into the mattress. "I don't know. Until I'm cured. Or insane, I guess. Or dead."

Rarity held her breath a moment, brow furrowed. Then she nodded her head and swallowed. "Let us hope for the first, then."

Unnatural

The chariot landed just when Luna’s letter said it would, and two pegasi guards settled back onto their legs after the long flight.

“I guess it’s time, Twilight.” Spike looked up at her, then gave a big hug. “Please get better soon, okay? I’ll miss you but I want you to be okay.”

Twilight let out a breath, nodding. Assuming I can get better. She felt hollow, somehow. The converse was too grim to consider. If Spike had heard what she said to Rarity -- well, thank Celestia he hadn’t.

Spike trotted out beside her, and his brow knotted again. “I wish you didn’t have to go, Twilight.”

Twilight put effort into making a smile appear, and it was a little easier than she’d anticipated. “Me too, Spike. But if anypony can help me, it’s Princess Luna, and Princess Celestia may be able to help as well. I don’t think there’s any better way for me to have a chance to recuperate.”

The little dragon nodded. “I know. And I’ll be okay, I just like it better when you’re around.”

Twilight sighed and gave him a tight scooping-up hug. “Well, I’ll be back before you know it. Try not to eat all of Rarity’s gems while I’m gone.”

He chuckled, but his brow was still knotted. “I’ll do my best.”

Twilight got into the chariot, then waved. Once he was out of sight, she found the same dragging sense of fatigue pulling her back into the seat.

* * *

Twilight decided, after a few fitful minutes of struggling to sleep and not to sleep lest she dream, her best bet was astronomy. The night sky rolled past her sight, with thick clouds now and then, but largely she had a wide view of the stars above. The movement of the chariot and her two suitcases was a soft jostling background reminder that the chariot was indeed in flight as she plucked at her memory. Artemis, the huntress. Lepus, the hare, just beneath her rear hooves. Eridanus, the river, winding in a milky path to the right.

“We’ll be in Canterlot very soon, Princess.”

Twilight drew a breath that felt more shallow than it should have. “Thank you, Sir.”

Cured, insane, or dead. Three possibilities. How long could her mind handle assault after assault? And where had Luna been during the last dream? It had to be been a dream. Rarity would never engage in such utterly filthy activities, Twilight was certain.

The clouds seemed to lift up, away from the chariot, and Twilight knew they were coming in for a landing.

She needed answers. She needed reassurance. Most of all, she needed sleep, and it might never come.

* * *

When Twilight found herself in Luna’s chambers, the Princess of the Night was nowhere to be seen.

“Princess Luna requests that you make yourself comfortable. She’ll be along shortly.” With that, the guard at the door shut it behind himself, and left Twilight to wait.

Twilight nodded to herself after the door was shut. After a moment, she found her way to the comfortable seat next to the bed table.

Luna’s bedroom was plush. Twilight preferred simplicity, and her little bedroom in the library reflected that. Bed. Spike’s bed. Night table. Lamp.

Luna’s bedroom seemed vast. Bookshelves swept along the walls, built of dark stained wood, most of them fully loaded. Carvings of the moon as it was before Nightmare Moon’s reign decorated the facades of the wood, along with stray stars and comets. Twilight drew her eyes over the shelves a few times, but could neither summon the energy to get up and look at the titles, and she couldn’t make them out from her very comfortable seat.

A large desk in one corner was covered in parchments, books open and closed, several loose quills stained with ink, and two inkwells, one at each corner. A grandmother clock sat in one corner, ornate and seemingly wrought from silver, a disc pendulum swinging inside. No doubt it was actually silver leaf -- even during the Sisters’ Reign, solid metal clocks of that size would have seemed extravagant beyond reason. Still, it caught the moonlight and stray candle flames with dancing pools of silver light.

A good two thirds of the room was taken up with a wardrobe and a bed, both in the same dark stained wood as the bookcases. The wardrobe was unremarkable, but the bed was quite a sight to behold. It was a four-poster, with thick navy blue velvet curtains, several of which were drawn back and tied against the posts. The sheets were in disarray, and pillows upon pillows were loosely arranged.

It looked like the bed of a mare who didn’t sleep well and had made an effort to conceal the fact. Twilight knew such a sight only too well.

Twilight sucked in a breath. Maybe it’s something more. Maybe it’s not just me? Maybe this is affecting Princess Luna as well. The thought that she was not alone in her torment was brightening, somehow. It didn’t seem likely that the Princess would take such an interest in Twilight’s sleep, even if Twilight was technically a ‘Princess’ now. Princesses who lived in libraries and were essentially glorified cloistered researchers weren’t exactly relevant to Equestrian politics.

On the wall opposite the one Twilight entered were two doors set into the stone walls. Twilight vaguely recalled that one was the access for Princess Luna’s personal magical workshop and the other led to a receiving room, where Princess Luna met with any dignitaries or friends.

Twilight was just starting to wonder why she’d been shown to this bedchamber when a sound on the other side of one of the doors drew her attention.

The door in question opened up, and Princess Luna came through. Twilight swore there was a twinkle in Luna’s eye, and even in the circumstances, it gave her heart. “Hello, Twilight.” Her forehead furrowed for a moment. “Can I get you some tea, or anything?”

Tension flexed in Twilight’s body for a moment, at the memory of the last tea and the dream that came with. “No! Um, thank you, no. That’s all right. Really.”

“Twilight, you’re shuddering! I -- I am sorry. Are you all right? I meant nothing by it.”

“I think I’m okay.” Twilight felt a little out of breath. “But this isn’t a dream, is it? Please tell me this is not a dream. I don’t really want -- ” I don’t really want this little scrap of hope to flutter away.

Luna’s mouth opened for a moment, but then she nodded. “I can assure you this is waking reality, Twilight. Take as much comfort in that as you need to.”

Twilight hesitated, then pulled herself out of the chair and wrapped around Princess Luna in a tight hug. “I’m sorry. I know I sound crazy, I feel like I’m going crazy! I just can’t process any of this, and I didn’t want to tell Princess Celestia, because it -- it’s just insomnia, and -- “

Luna’s own foreleg looped around Twilight and hugged tight. “Shhh. I know. I know.”

Twilight wasn’t sure when she started crying but it didn’t start small. Tears were soaking into her cheeks and and she was shaking, hugging tighter and tighter to Luna.

“Twilight, it is clear I hadn’t grasped how much this problem has progressed. Let me give you something to help, as a stopgap.”

Twilight shifted back, blinking at Luna. “I didn’t mean to hide it. I just wanted to feel normal. I don’t think I’m ever going to feel normal again.”

“It’s okay. Let me help you. If you want some water, or lemonade, I can provide that. Further, I assure you -- I can give you a dreamless sleep for a while, and then we can discuss things with clearer minds, both of us. Would you let me do that?”

“Yes. Oh, oh yes. Please.” Twilight choked on the words because they tumbled out, not waiting their turn. “I want to sleep. I’m sorry, I really am. I just -- I want it. I need it! I’m sorry. I don’t mean to beg! I -- “

“Shhhh.” Luna’s magic picked Twilight up, lifting her over the four poster bed’s mattress. Luna trotted alongside. “It seems clear hydration is not nearly the concern I thought it might be. It’s all right. Just rest for now, Twilight. When you wake, we will discuss solutions.”

The pillows ordered themselves a bit, the sheets parted and lifted along with the comforter, and Twilight was slid mostly inside. Soft, absolutely pillowy comfort held her up when the magic vanished, and her head settled on the cloudy soft pillowpile.

As Twilight’s eyes shut, she could see Luna watching her, and there was something on Luna’s face she’d never seen, something she couldn’t interpret or analyze, something she’d sworn she’d seen on her mother’s face or Rarity’s but not quite.

* * *

Awake. Twilight drew a breath and stirred.

The scent was unfamiliar, faintly spicy even, and spoke of perfumes and a mare she was unused to spending time around.

She opened her eyes and shifted. Something more unfamiliar was nagging at her, something bodily. No, the absence of something nagging. Something --

She was rested.

It was surreal. Normalcy, energy, attention.

“Twilight?” Luna was seated at her desk. “Hopefully you’re feeling a little better now?”

Twilight pulled herself out of the bed and onto all four legs. “I feel much better. How does it work?”

Luna tilted her head. “The dreamless sleep?”

Twilight blinked. “So I can get sleep? If I can do it myself, then I don’t have to take up your time. I can just go home, give myself dreamless sleep most of the week, and let myself get REM nightmares once or twice a week, instead of losing sleep over it.” Finally, a solution. Twilight giggled and shook her head. “That spell should be in every Beginner’s Grimoire. Well, maybe Intermediate Volume 1, but early, is all I’m saying.” Twilight hesitated. “How complicated is it?”

Luna let out a little sigh, her ears swiveling back. She sighed and shook her head. “Twilight, this is an emergency measure. Using this all the time -- or even just most of the time -- is going to lead to some very, very unfortunate consequences.”

“Unfortunate consequences? This is like eating or breathing. I can’t think! How can anything possibly be more unfortunate than not sleeping?!” Twilight stopped herself and shut her eyes. Don’t. ”I didn’t mean to r-raise my voice, Princess Luna, I’m sorry. It was just so horrible. I couldn’t imagine what ‘unfortunate consequences’ could possibly make the spell so dangerous, considering what it addresses.”

Luna looked away. “It is not something I could tell you, Twilight. Words could not convey it. I’d have to show you, and I don’t think either of us could handle that very well at the moment.”

Something in Luna’s voice told Twilight not to speak, not to ask, not to even think what she thought anyway: Either of us? I’m the one losing my mind here! Immediate guilt flowed over the concept. Luna’s bed looked nearly as unkempt as her own, when she’d found it. She had no idea of the burden, of what it truly entailed, and she never would.

She couldn’t judge their actions, even if they couldn’t judge her psychological horrors.

“Twilight, please, believe me when I tell you that there are things I’d spare you knowing if I can possibly do it. Please, also believe me when I tell you I have good reasons for sparing you the knowledge.” A dry silence of dust particles hung for a moment in the shafts of sunlight. “Not all knowledge is . . . worth the emotional strain.”

“But it’s knowledge, Luna. My life’s devoted to it.”

Luna turned her head enough to look back at Twilight over her shoulder. The moonlight cast over her back and the low illumination gave her navy coat a sheen like an oil slick. “Imagine Princess Celestia had told you she punished her sister for attempted deicide. That she’d banished her sister to the moon with monsters of darkness for a thousand years. Would you have been her pupil, knowing that? Would the ruler you see even now as a paragon of wisdom and benevolence possibly have been reconcilable with that knowledge sans any context or resolution?”

Twilight wanted to push a yes out of her mouth as fast as she could but it stuck. Would she have? Would doubt have infected her? “I can’t judge anypony based on a single act.”

The other mare still watched, with a single eye. “Of course you can. You do every day, Twilight. So do I. The unfortunate truth is that equine psychology is built around first impressions. You learned lineage just as any schoolfilly did, and you know we were not always Equus sapiens. Deep in our thinking, ‘civilized’ minds are the leftover behavior of mares and stallions that predated Roam’s burn, even Roam’s founding. It’s not a question of whether a pony judges. It’s a question of whether they can reevaluate a first impression or not, and the more impact the first impression has, the less likely they’ll be capable enough to do so.”

Twilight felt a vague knot in her stomach, watching Luna closer now. The oil-slick near-jet-black sheen seemed to shift, no doubt from Luna’s musculature flexing underneath her coat. Twilight bit her lip and nodded. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know. I can’t know.”

Luna turned to look out the window, and the long shadow cast over her coat slid away. “You trusted my sister’s intentions and judgment. I realize first impressions can be complicated and difficult to break free of, Twilight, but I must ask you to try. Try to trust me. If I say that something is genuinely horrendous, please, believe that I could be right.” Her head dipped forward slightly and her ears laid back. “Take it from a mare who dealt with sororicidal urges for a great period of her life.”

Twilight caught the break in Luna’s voice. Oh, no. No. “Princess, it wasn’t -- “

Luna’s head lifted and her gaze caught Twilight over her shoulder with a single eye, cutting her words and freezing her step. “I know what it was, Twilight. I know better than you, or even Tia, could ever possibly realize. When she forgave me, I still do not think she quite understood what she was forgiving. I could not thank her with anything less than the truth -- that I missed her dearly.”

A shiver pulsed through Twilight’s haunches and she took a step back before she realized it. Words found their way from her lips, as words so frequently did, even when they were ill-advised. “It wasn’t all you, though.”

Luna’s pinning eye blinked, and the seemingly impossible spell was broken. “This is . . . true. But it was, in some fragment, me. There’s a darkness in my heart, and it is something I have to live with.” Luna turned again. “I count myself fortunate my sister could forgive me. I cannot ever forgive myself.”

Twilight drew a breath again. “She forgave you because you deserved it. You were never a bad mare, Luna, only weak. Weakness is equine. Something preyed upon it, but otherwise, it might never have grown so large and unruly.”

A fresh silence grew, and Twilight felt certain she’d said the wrong thing, that Luna would cast her out or stalk out of the room.

“Perhaps.” Luna lifted her head to look up at the sun for a moment, then smoothed her mane with a flow of magic. “I am not certain exactly how we came to talk about me, but I’d rather not. I’m sorry, Twilight.”

“Don’t be. I mean, please, don’t be. Honestly, sometimes I wish I could swap my problems with someone else’s.” Twilight flopped back on the bed. Physically, she still felt energetic, but a nap was sounding better by the moment overall.

Luna turned and came towards the bed. “Well, I hope that if you ever do, you pick somepony else. I know for a fact I couldn’t handle the kinds of problems you have gracefully. I can barely handle my own.”

Twilight tilted her head. “You say that, but a thousand years plus of wisdom goes a long way.”

“So does the boundless optimism of a youthful mare.” Luna’s magic flared again as the blankets pulled up over Twilight. “Do you need more rest? If we really must, I will teach you the spell at some point, but for now you’re still quite deprived and if you’d like more rest I’ll gladly oblige you.”

“I haven’t been able to think for so long. I was so terrified for so long about those horrible nightmares, and then I was so exhausted I couldn’t think, and then I was so stretched thin I couldn’t even tell when I was awake.” Twilight drew a few deep breaths and shut her eyes. “When I had the last dream, Rarity was at my bedroom door. She came in right after. Spike did too. I couldn’t even look at them for a while.”

Luna’s ear flicked. “Why?”

“I felt like somehow it might have been a dream and if I’d seen her or Spike it would have started getting horrific and disgusting, I guess. Which is just silly, but it didn’t feel silly at the time.”

Luna nodded. “You have been sleep deprived for weeks. I’ve rarely seen any pony try to persevere under such conditions for so long.”

Some knot of something worked its way along Twilight’s brain, but failed to find purchase enough to make it out of her mouth. All she could manage was a shrug and a sigh. A touch came, along her mane, as she shut her eyes.

“Forgive me. Our mother used to do that when we were feeling ill. It’s hardly appropriate.”

Twilight shifted in the blankets. “My mom used to do that too. It’s okay.” She tried to find words for a moment. “Besides, I mean, it’s not like I could interpret that sexually, even with the way my brain keeps twisting and turning things into awfulness.”

“No, that -- no.” Luna hummed for a moment and withdrew her hoof. “If you don’t mind a question, are the nightmares always of a sexual nature?”

Twilight shifted uneasily. She stopped touching me. Why am I uneasy after she stopped? “Well, yeah. They’re terrible. I hate them and there’s . . . sometimes there are signs when I wake up. Scent. Spots. It’s worse, when, um, you know.”

“When you’re in season? Mmm, I could imagine.”

“Please don’t?” Twilight clamped down on the thought a moment after it’d gotten out of her mouth. Don’t say things like that. Why’d you say that? Have a good reason. She might ask. “S-Sorry, I don’t mean to sound weird and I know you wouldn’t think about a mare in heat or a stallion doing those things they do. Dirty awful stuff.“

Twilight forced herself to look over and met Luna’s gaze.

The Princess of the Night had a deeply furrow-knit brow, eyes that seemed to search, and her lips moved as if she were a filly reading to herself for the first time.

Twilight’s teeth ground against each other and she turned over. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please, I just -- sorry, d-do whatever you, I, uh, I shouldn’t have said anything and I’m sorry none of it m-made sense and -- “

“Twilight, it’s okay. Shhh. Just breathe, all right?”

Twilight couldn’t have stopped. Somehow, in the last few seconds, she’d run half a mile flat out and her lungs were still working overtime. No -- somehow, she was still racing. Something was wrong. Something was wrong and she needed to be anywhere else but she couldn’t do anything and she had to stay here or Luna was going to ask her what was wrong but Luna was going to do that anyway so she needed lies pretty lies that would cover up the ugly holes inside her shot through her nonsensical but definitely there scabby little holes that followed no rhyme or reason and had no purpose and --

“Twilight!” It was Princess Celestia’s voice.

Everything in Twilight’s head shut down for a second and she opened her eyes again. She took a shallow breath and processed what she could see.

No Celestia in sight. Luna’s bedchamber. It was Luna’s bedchamber, wasn’t it? Yes.

Thought gradually seeped back into the cracks in Twilight’s mind.

“Twilight, please forgive the use of illusion. I panicked a little and I know you respond to my sister’s voice rather, ah, attentively.”

Twilight took an even breath, then turned to look at Luna. Concern? Yes. Fear? Maybe. Something else, something she couldn’t work out. No disgust, though.

Why isn’t she disgusted? It didn’t make sense.

“It’s not okay.”

Luna blinked. “What’s not okay?”

“Those things in the dreams. The things that happen with mouths and bits and . . . all of it.”

Luna tilted her head. “Twilight, forgive a mare with a thousand years of experience for, ah, ‘playing a hunch’, but could you answer a question for me?”

Twilight hesitated. As much as she wanted to answer in the affirmative without reservation, some nagging shadow of fear slid along inside her brain. That question might as well have been a manticore. “I can try. I -- yes. I’ll try.”

Luna nodded. “That’s all one can ask of any mare, Twilight. One question, and if you cannot answer it, I believe that may be quite an answer itself.” The Princess took a deep breath, and a moment of silence came that only pulled at Twilight’s nerves.

“What does ‘normal sexual activity’ mean?”

Twilight blinked. That was absurd. Still, she wouldn’t have asked if she didn’t think it would cast some understanding on the problem, would she?

Twilight hesitated. “Is that the question? It’s how a mare and a stallion make foals. I wouldn’t want to go into details. It’s kind of gross.”

Luna’s ears shifted and she sighed. “Twilight, I have a hypothesis about what’s causing your nightmares. If I’m correct, then I owe you an apology and my condolences, because this will be a very difficult issue to try to resolve. If I’m wrong, then I believe we’ll find out very quickly.”

“News is news. Information is information. Tell me. Please.”

“First, if I’m correct, then I have failed you spectacularly. I will do my absolute utmost to ensure I do not fail you again in similar fashion.

“The hypothesis is a little complicated, and might seem impossible when I tell you it. This is because you may well be facing one of the greatest challenges of your adult life. Unfortunately, you haven’t got a lot of time to face it in. I can help you, and the bulk of the work will be in the years ahead of you, but the next week is crucial. The first steps will likely be the hardest.”

“I’m not a stranger to hard work, Princess. Tell me what to read. Tell me what to analyze.”

“This isn’t study, in a traditional sense, at least.” Luna’s eyes searched the floor, and then part of the bookshelf. “There will be analysis involved, but I do not believe it’ll be in the sense you are thinking.”

“Please, Luna. I don’t know how long my focus will be with me. While I’m holding together, tell me. The sooner I learn it, the sooner I can start working on it.”

Luna cleared her throat and nodded. “Very well. Twilight, the problem is psychological, and for lack of a better phrase, you are sexually repressed, I suspect due to some foalhood trauma.”

Unclean

Twilight washed cold water over her face, then dried it with a towel. The words Luna spoke last night before putting her to bed kept boomeranging back into her skull.

Some foalhood trauma.

Twilight looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were less bloodshot. Her gaze was still unsteady, but steadier than it’d been in weeks.

One good nap plus one good night of sleep, tempered by one confusing piece of news.

She took a deep breath and thought back. Trauma. What kind of trauma? She didn’t have any trauma. Did she?

There was a tickle at the back of her mind at the question.

Twilight shook her head and worked on her mane. The brush caught on thin little tangles, but the washing had cleared most of them out. She’d been so gross before the shower, but now she was doing a lot better.

Wasn’t she?

Her eyes weren’t that bloodshot. She could think. She might not be able to sleep, but -- what was she going to do? Climb some psychological mountain of whatever, when she could just learn the sleep spell and . . .

She had too much to do. She had too much life going on. She had Spike and her friends. She had her research and an entire mystery to unravel with the box.

“Twilight?” Luna was knocking. “I thought perhaps we could speak over breakfast.”

“Of course, Pri -- Luna.” She cut off the title. Luna was emphatic about Twilight not using it, and wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

Twilight’s mane bore up to inspection in the mirror. Her eyes could use some drops, but she wasn’t going to rummage around in Luna’s bathroom cabinets. They were gorgeous, just like all the other furnishings, but Twilight was still convinced somehow that any looking around would be immediately caught and seen as snooping.

She had to try to follow Luna’s directions unless she couldn’t. She could trust Luna’s judgment, couldn’t she?

“Twilight?”

Twilight opened the door and took a hurried trot out of the bathroom. “Yes! Sorry. Sorry.”

Luna was sitting at the dark wooden table already, and shook her head. The cascade of shimmering mane shook in response, gleaming in the sunlight. “It’s all right. How are you feeling?”

“So much better.” Twilight found it easy to smile about this, unlike all the smiles she’d forced over the past few weeks. “So, so much better. Is there coffee?”

Luna ticked her head at the carafe with a stylized sun on it. “Tia prefers the stuff, so we code it. I know it’s also your frequent indulgence.”

“Not that I dislike tea, Luna.”

Luna nodded. “I know.”

“What’s our next step? Do -- “

“I’ll lay out what I believe our next steps should be, but please, don’t forget to eat? You’ve lost so much weight in the past few weeks.”

“Is -- “

“It is visible, Twilight, and it is worrying. Please.” Luna held up a cinnamon bun, honey glaze gleaming in the sunlight.

Twilight took it in her magic and took a bite. Tender overall, a little flaky on the bottom, sweet sugary cinnamon tucked between layers, and the sweet was present without being overwhelming.

“There’s a mushroom and cheese omelette, too. I know that is your favorite.” Luna’s hoof pushed a plate a few inches away, a plate that suggested Luna’s breakfast had come and gone already.

Twilight smiled, until a thought caught in her throat. This is too good. This can’t be real.

Luna’s brow furrowed. “Is it not your favorite? I thought -- “

“Tell me this is real. Tell me this is real, Luna. Please.” The warmth of the sun seemed to threaten to burn, the sweet seemed to overpower her tongue. The scent of the omelette drew her attention but even that potentially heralded --

“Twilight!”

“Yes! I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” She chewed her lip.

“It’s all right. This is reality. This is not a dream. If it were a dream, I’d wake you. I am aware that the breakfast is decadent, but it’s not unreal. Also, a sense of time should return to you soon.” Luna smiled.

“Thank you. This is just -- it’s the best morning I’ve had in a long time.” Twilight took a forkful of omelette. It was, of course, delicious -- sharp Manehattan cheddar for flavor combined with baby provolone from Roam, and fresh portobello mushrooms in both slice and julienne.

Luna sipped tea. “It’s good to see you like this, Twilight. It was distressing to see you so . . . upset.”

“I’m sorry it was distressing. If I could make it go away, I would.” Twilight was barely able to keep from talking with her mouth full. If she’d been at Hay Burger it wouldn’t have mattered, but with Luna across the table she had to make some effort at manners.

“Do you mean that? I wasn’t lying last night, Twilight. This will be a process of years, of looking at your past and your future, and it may be a long time before you feel complete.”

“What do you mean by ‘complete’? Won’t I ever be able to sleep without nightmares?”

“Twilight, I assure you, that is not what I mean. I mean . . . “ She hesitated. “Have you ever repaired a teacup handle?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. I use Melancholy’s Mending, the one named after Starswirl’s mentor.”

“That’s the spell. It leaves the outside unblemished. Have you ever broken a repaired teacup?”

“I’m a little klutzy sometimes, so, I’m sure I have. Why?” Twilight’s eyes cast at her plate -- no omelette left. She picked up the cinnamon bun and took a bite.

“When a mending is done, the spell creates a web of matter similar to the original matter to bridge gaps between pieces. Then, it solidifies and shrinks that web. Afterwards, the mended spot is knotted of stronger matter than the rest of the cup. Now, have you ever tried Melancholy’s Mending on a teacup when you didn’t have all the pieces?”

Twilight stared at her plate. “Yes, I have. It didn’t go well. The spell tried to smooth it over but it was very brittle. I knew Mom was going to notice, so I tried -- “

“You tried to make a new teacup from a fragment, didn’t you?” Luna’s expression was wry.

“Yes. It was like a changeling teacup or something, shot through with holes and it withered to dust almost immediately.”

“I did the same as a foal, once.”

“Why are you asking about the teacup?” Twilight drained the last of her coffee. The clock on the wall said an hour had passed, or thereabouts.

“You are, in a sense, like the teacup. What happened to you, whatever it was, is irrevocable. We can only mend you. If we collect up the pieces first, you’ll come out of this stronger. If we miss important parts, then you may come out much worse off.” Luna’s brow knit.

“Isn’t this a terrible risk, then? Shouldn’t we just keep to maintaining my sleep and try to -- “

“No.” The word was like it had looped through a megaphone five times. Luna looked away, and her voice was normal as she continued. “Twilight, I’m sorry. But the potential consequences of simply ignoring this problem are . . . they are beyond catastrophe, I assure you.”

“What do you mean? You hinted at this last night but I was too tired to pursue it. ‘Beyond catastrophe’ can’t possibly be worse than what the Bearers and I have seen already.”

Luna’s eye narrowed. “If I told you it could be, would you be satisfied with that?”

Twilight blinked. That eye was the same eye she’d seen last night, in the moments of talk of murderous urges and millennial banishment. A chill pulsed through Twilight’s spine and she realized she had shifted backwards a little in her chair.

Luna’s gaze cast away. “I am not trying to frighten you, Twilight. I am simply saying that you should be scared. I, too, had a seed of something destructive deep in my psyche and I let it go. You know what consequences there were.”

“Y-Yes. I know. I couldn’t forget.” Nightmare Moon was fresh in her mind, especially after seeing that gleam in Luna’s eye again.

“If I told you yours would be worse, could you trust me that I might be correct?”

Twilight swallowed. “With all respect, Luna, I’m not sure.”

Luna’s smile returned, and with it her brow relaxed. “Honest answers are the best, I find. I can understand that such a thing might be hard to imagine. We may be able to look at the potential of repression over time, but I think today is not the day for that.”

Twilight felt muscles relax that she wasn’t aware were tensed. “What is today for?”

“Today is for a gentle new beginning, Twilight. I can guide dreams at a distance when I need to, and while you lack a baseline for ‘normal sexual activity’ -- truly a misnomer if there ever was one -- I see the unconscious of all of equinity. I know the darkest corners and the lightest clouds, and we can find something in your dreams more comforting.”

Twilight bit her lip. “Are you suggesting I dream on purpose?”

“I am, but I will be sensing your state and trying to guide you towards less violent or nonconsensual imagery. I will be able to interrupt your dream and I will be able to watch for any bodily reactions -- thrashing, crying, etc. -- that might signal distress.”

Twilight gaped. “But then if something -- “

Luna held up a hoof. “Twilight, I realize this is something you find embarrassing, but think of a doctor’s visit for a moment. You are ill, and while I am not a doctor, I believe I am qualified to counsel you as a friend, and as guardian of dreams.”

Twilight felt warmth on her face. “It’s just . . . it’s humiliating to think about. I guess I shouldn’t think about it.”

Luna nodded. “I understand. If you don’t wish to try, that’s all right too. We can do this tomorrow, or at whatever pace you need.”

Twilight let a breath out. Tomorrow. Tomorrow would be better, wouldn’t it? She could spend today . . . oh, Celestia. She’d spend twenty four hours obsessing about this.

“No. No, let’s try today. I want to make progress. I want to find some way towards real relief.”

“Are you certain? Twilight, I realize you’re in a fragile state and I do not wish to rush you -- “

“I’m sure. I’m completely certain. Let’s tear this off like a bandage. Let’s just make it happen. Can a nap work for this?”

“A nap was what I was going to suggest, actually. I can foster you into sleep, and then into a dream state. Would you allow me to do this?”

Twilight took a deep breath. “Yes. I can handle it. I need to make progress.”

“Twilight, please. Be gentle with yourself. This isn’t reading a book. This isn’t running a race. This is complicated work and progress may be slow or even invisible at times. The fact we’re facing this is a huge step, and I’m proud of you for making it.”

“I just want this to all be over. But I’ll do what I can, Luna.” She’d said she was proud of Twilight -- why? If anything, Twilight had just failed harder in the past month than ever. Hadn’t she?

“Thank you. I will take care of you as much as I can, but you also have to take care of yourself in the absence of others, for their sake if not for your own.”

“I -- whoooaaaaa!” Twilight broke into a squeal as she was lifted up in shimmering magic.

“Let me. You’re still regaining your strength, and today may well be taxing as well. You have a lot of sleep to catch up on.”

Twilight was settled onto the bed, the perfume and spice scent enveloping her again as it had done during her nap and sleep yesterday. “I could have done it.”

“Twilight, please, allow me to take care of you. I’m worried about you, and so is Tia.”

Twilight nodded. “Okay. Just two hours, right?”

“Yes. Potentially even less. The dreaming will end if there is severe distress.”

“But something sexual will happen?”

“It may. My focus will be on your calm, if it can be maintained. The sexual content will be a secondary concern.”

See? There might not be anything. It might just be a nice dream. “Okay. Okay. I’m ready.” Twilight let herself settle into the pillowy bedding.

She shut her eyes.

* * *

Twilight opened her eyes.

She was in a shimmering field of magic, being carried through a hall of stone. It was the castle, but where was she going?

“Twi? I’m so sorry. I tried not to wake you.” Celestia was behind the levitation field, biting her lip. “There was a problem with the dream spell. Luna isn’t well at the moment.”

“What happened? I don’t remember anything.”

“Nobody’s hurt, Twilight. There was a feedback reaction. Everyone will be fine.” Celestia’s nose wrinkled and she gave a little smirk.

“Why?” Twilight couldn’t break the sense of feeling small in her mentor’s own magic. “Sorry. I guess you’re going to tell me.”

“I think it’s for her to tell, Twilight. But we’re here now, and we shouldn’t talk.”

“Why shouldn’t -- “

Celestia’s hoof rested over Twilight’s lips. “Shhh. It’s okay.”

Twilight blinked. She couldn’t find words, couldn’t even think properly, after that touch. Celestia had shushed her any number of times, but this looked and felt different. Wrong? Possibly wrong.

Something. Celestia’s eyes were wrong. They were the right color -- maybe, somehow Twilight wasn’t sure -- but maybe they weren’t.

A door opened and snapped Twilight’s attention forward. She was carried through into a bathroom, one with dusty wood walls and a sink and a mop in a bucket.

There was a large wooden tub in one corner.

“Princess?” Twilight stared at the tub. It was already full, with faint steam lifting off a thick blanket of soap suds.

“Shhh.” The voice was different, still a mare’s voice but different and absolutely not Celestia’s. It wasn’t one she could place. It had authority. It had something.

Twilight couldn’t turn her head. If she did, she could still try to imagine it was going to be Celestia, somehow. She wasn’t being held, but she couldn’t look, she just couldn’t.

Slowly, the magical field lowered her into the water and then dissipated.

“It’s all right, Twilight. I know you’re a good girl.”

“Help.” Twilight spoke the word and her voice wasn’t the same either. Softer. Weaker.

Soft. Weak. Oh, Celestia, I’m a foal.

“I’ll help you, little filly. Don’t worry. I’m a very good teacher.” A hoof stroked Twilight’s mane, the tips of which were sudsy and warm against Twilight’s neck. The hoof shifted to Twilight’s neck.

“What did I do?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetie.” A mare pressed a kiss to Twilight’s neck, and a shudder pulsed through Twilight’s body. “You’re a growing filly, practically a young mare already.”

“No.”

“Yes, you are. And I saw how you were looking at me, Twilight. It’s all right. Sometimes mares like other mares.” Another kiss, another. They moved slowly to the back of Twilight’s neck. “I can show you. I can help you.”

“Help. Please. Please help.” Twilight had no idea who she was asking for help -- Luna? Luna’s still Nightmare Moon, if I’m a filly -- and thoughts seemed to be shutting themselves down, bit by bit. The mare was going to do what she was going to do. Nopony was going to help. Twilight just had to breathe and get through it.

The window.

There was a window in front of her, one she didn’t see before. It must have been there before, though. She could see her classmates playing outside, and she couldn’t see anybody else, so must have been asking them for help.

A few of them looked at her and smiled now and then, but they shook their heads.

The tub’s water level shifted upwards as the mare got in the tub with her. Somehow, it was larger now -- or perhaps Twilight was simply getting smaller. She couldn’t know. Her classmates seemed to be smaller, too, but Twilight knew it was because they were further away, far away now. They’d never be near her again.

The warm body behind her shifted. Soft somethings wrapped around Twilight. Not hooves, not forelegs, but -- no. Wings. There were large, downy, feathery, peach colored wings, contrasted against the white soapy sea of the bathtub.

This has to be a dream. Celestia wasn’t a disgusting shapeshifting predatory bathroom -- whatever was happening here-ist. She wasn’t like this. Was she? Twilight shut her eyes against bright sunlight and the other students outside. They could see her, she was sure, and the evidence made her want to die.

“Shhh, little filly. It’s okay. I’ve got you. There’s nothing wrong with you.”

No. She didn’t want to die. She was dying, somehow, some way. This couldn’t be. The warmth between Twilight’s hind legs said the mare was lying. Twilight shook her head. “Something’s wrong. Wrong.”

The voice behind her was warm breath on wet fur. “No, Twi. Nothing’s wrong. You’re growing up and that’s okay. Don’t let any of the mares tease you about it if you like other mares.” The words were soothing, cloying,

“I d-don’t, I don’t like other mares, I don’t like any of this, I don’t like you and -- “

* * *

Twilight loosed a scream as she clamped her hooves on the edge of the tub, which became the bed just as suddenly. She couldn’t stop herself shaking.

“Twilight?” Luna’s brow was furrowed, her lips were tight, and she wouldn’t take her eyes off Twilight. “It’s been less than an hour. I sensed extreme distress.”

"Something was wrong. Something wrong." Remember. Remember and tell the dream. You’ll forget. The prospect of losing progress spurred words. “I had a dream where I was a foal and Celestia was there, and then she wasn’t, but there was someone with wings, a peach pegasus, and -- “

“Breathe, Twilight. Pause. Take a deep breath, then tell me.”

Twilight dragged breath into her lungs and let it out. “Celestia was carrying me in her magic, and then she wasn’t, and we were in a bathroom that isn’t even in the castle, and there was a bathtub . . . “ Twilight trailed off.

“A bathtub? Curious. Twilight, do you often take baths?”

“No. I mean, I take one twice a week. It’s not like I take them a lot.”

“Have you ever taken a bath with someone you were close with?”

Twilight’s mouth opened, then closed. Something was supposed to come out, right?

“A coltfriend? A marefriend? I honestly don’t know much about your relationship history, Twilight.”

It took another second or two before Twilight could push it out. “No. No colts, no mares. I never had any relationship. There isn’t a history.” It felt normal until she said it out loud, and then it was like a glaring light in her face.

“That’s all right, Twilight. You were focused on other things, and that’s all right.” Luna tilted her head. “Has anypony ever touched you without your permission? In . . . intimate places?”

Peach wings. “In the dream, there were wings. There were wings wrapped around me in the tub. There was a mare. She was behind me. She was . . . she was kissing.”

Luna’s brow quirked. “Kissing?”

“She was kissing the back of my neck. It felt weird.”

“How old were you? It’s a natural equine reaction to touch stimulus, to have feelings. Even weird ones.” Luna’s lips tightened.

“I don’t know how old I was. The tub seemed so huge. She was going to wash me. She was going to wash me all over, I know it.”

“All over? How do you know that, Twilight?”

“B-Because washing a certain way down there makes -- “ Twilight shuddered and shifted in the bed. All too many times she’d washed herself and washed away the sensations that were now developing again. “It makes the feelings go away. The weird ones. The kind I was getting.”

“Did she say she was going to do that?”

“I don’t even know. It was a dream. It wasn’t even real.”

“I understand that, but it was about sex, at least to you. Perhaps only to foalhood you, but still.” Luna sighed.

“So what does that mean?”

Luna shook her head. “Dreams frequently don’t mean anything by themselves. We need context, and we need to see patterns. Have you ever known any pegasus mares with peach coats?”

Twilight rubbed her face. “I don’t remember any.”

Luna tilted her head. “Perhaps your parents would know for certain?”

“I could write and ask them. They’ll want to know why, though.”

“It might not mean anything. Tell them it’s just curiosity for now, until we have something a little more concrete to go on. I’ll follow some research I think may bear fruit.”

Twilight nodded. As much as she wanted this to be over, and as much as she wanted to try to work to that goal, she was happy someone more qualified was doing any form of ‘research’ related to this. “Thank you. What should I do?”

“You should sleep. I was not joking when I said you have a lot of sleep to catch up on.” Luna smiled. “It is nice to be able to take care of somepony, I must admit.”

Twilight realized Luna’s hoof was on her own, and she set her other forehoof over Luna’s. “I miss Spike, but . . . it’s also pretty nice to be taken care of.”

Luna’s smile softened. “I will research in the Royal Archives. My staff will bring you lunch, or really any food you need. Please, feel free to take a look at my library to pass the time.”

“And when I need . . . sleep? You won’t be here.”

“Now that the cycle of exhaustion and nightmares is broken, I hope we have bought ourselves slack in the rope, so to speak. If you can achieve natural sleep, that would be for the best.”

Twilight swallowed, her throat feeling knotted. “Will you know when I sleep?”

Luna smoothed her mane idly, nodding. “I’ll know when you sleep, and I can reach you in your dreams if anything upsets you.”

Twilight nodded. Something washed through her, something more than relief. She wasn’t just being taken care of. She knew it’d be okay. Even if it wouldn’t be, the feeling was valuable enough that she didn’t want to start thinking at it, start dismantling it and find faults with it. She just wanted to lay in it for now and let it soak in.

Maybe, just maybe, things could actually turn out all right in the end.