Wonders Of The New Age

by Quill Feather

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 4218

1000 years is a LONG time. Long enough for new inventions.

1000 years is a LONG time. Long enough for new inventions.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-23 17:54:43 UTC

WHY!? WHAT!? I'M SO CONFUSED!

WHY!? WHAT!? I'M SO CONFUSED!

After several months of teaching Luna, she could finally speak proper English, or well modern English. Which was a sign to Celestia that Luna was ready. Ready to know about the wonders of the new age. So, to have Luna learn, she was planning to send her to Ponyville. After all, who better than a pony who lives in this modern age to teach Luna? And of course it wasn't just to learn about the wonders of the new age, but also to get closer to Twilight and make friends, to get to know her subjects and how they think nowadays.

Though Celestia knew it'd be hard for her sister, but her sister was very stubborn and she would pull through. She just hoped the others would be able to.

After a lot of work, Celestia finally was able to get Luna on the train and off to Ponyville. She watched as the train slowly rode off. She waved her hoof goodbye to her sister and when the train was but a speck, Celestia sighed in relief. "Now it's time to go see my cutie pie," She said.

____________

DAY ONE

MORNING

The first day that Luna was sent to Ponyville by her sister, she felt betrayed. But after about an hour of riding on the metal carriage, Luna had understood why she did it. But still didn't make it any better.

Luna was very thankful when the metal carriage came to a stop and the magic sound came into the carriage, telling her they had arrived at Ponyville. She calmly walked over to the doors, and tried to push them open. Only to find they wouldn't open, so she started to get mad. Just as she was about to blow it up with magic, the door slid open. 'Oh' She thought in shock and stepped out of the carriage. Luna looked back at the metal carriage and eyed it. 'One modern thing I do not like....' She thought and turned her head and saw Twilight Sparkle.

Luna walked over to the unicorn. "Greetings Twilight Sparkle, Element of Magic," Luna said and Twilight smiled.

"Hello Princess Luna. And please, just call me Twilight. If we're gonna be friends, then we might as well be on a first name basis," Twilight said. Luna nodded in agreement.

"Then you shall call me Luna instead of Princess Luna," Luna said. Twilight nodded and motioned for Luna to follow her, so she did. Twilight led Luna through Ponyville, showing her a few of the places, but right now it was not tour time. Twilight figured Luna must have been exhausted from the train ride so she wanted to take Luna straight to the library.

Soon the pair arrived at the library and they walked in. Luna heard some noises coming from another part of the library and she figured Spike must have had friends over.

"Welcome to my home Luna. Princess Celestia told me you'd be staying for a little bit, so we already prepared a room for you," Twilight said and Luna thanked her. Luna walked over into the living part of the library and there she found a strange black box.

"Twilight, what is this black box?" Luna asked Twilight. Twilight turned and looked at it.

"Oh that is a TV. Why don't you turn it on and see what it's like," Twilight said and Luna looked at the box closely, finding what appeared to be the on switch. Luna pressed it and the TV came to life. Luna yelped and jumped back in fright. She watched as the TV changed to channel 57 and she saw tiny little ponies in the black box. Luna gasped, her eyes widening.

"DON'T WORRY TINY SUBJECTS! I SHALL SAVE YOU!" Luna yelled and smashed the box. Only to look at it in confusion. 'Where did the tiny ponies go?' She thought. Luna looked all around the black box, but found no sign of the ponies. Twilight came over and gasped.

"What happened!" Twilight asked. Luna looked over at her.

"There were tiny ponies in this black box, I wanted to save them," Luna said and Twilight laughed. Luna frowned and stared at Twilight in confusion.

"You think the kidnapping of my subjects is a joke!?" Luna asked and Twilight laughed even more. Luna huffed and turned to stomp off.

"Wait! Luna, let me explain!" Twilight said and Luna turned back to Twilight.

"That thing is a television. The ponies in it aren't actually in it," Twilight explained.

"Think of it as a vision spell." Luna thought about it, and it did make sense. It did look like she was through the vision of someone else. So Luna accepted that.

"But what is it for?" Luna asked.

"The TV is for entertainment. We watch things we like on it. Like say you like smart things, then watch a show that teaches you things," Twilight explained.

"Shows, what are shows?" Luna tilted her head curiously.

"Shows... shows are.... they're different visions of different things. So say you might be watching a horror show, you could change the channel, which changes the show that is on, and you could be watching a romantic show," Twilight explained. Luna nodded, not understanding any of it. But that was okay. She'd get it later. Hopefully.....

____________

DAY ONE

NOON

Twilight turned the page in her book and continued to read. Then suddenly she sneezed. She wiped her nose with a cloth and then sniffed. But she smelled something... something wrong. Twilight gasped and dropped her book, not caring she had lost her page. She rushed out of her room and downstairs to the kitchen.

There she saw Luna... cooking? And the food was burning? And was she using magic to cook it? Twilight groaned.

"Luna, what are you doing!?" Twilight exclaimed. Luna turned to Twilight and smiled.

"Oh I wanted to thank you for letting me stay here, so I'm making you lunch," Luna said. Twilight frowned.

"And what are you trying to make?" Twilight asked. Luna's smile fell.

"I'm making toast, but it's much harder than ponies make it look....," Luna said and Twilight snickered.

"Luna, we have a better way to make toast now. Here, let me show you," Twilight grabbed two pieces of bread with her magic and went over to the toaster. She slide the slices in and slid the slider down and the toaster buzzed with electricity.

"What is it?" Luna asked, walking over and looking at the device. It looked like a silver box to her that made a buzzing sound and had an opening at the top.

"It's a toaster. It toasts toast to how you want it, this dial controls the toasty-ness. Right now it's set to what I like," Twilight said and Luna watched the toaster closely, waiting for the toast to come back. Then after a few moments, it popped up, startling Luna. Luna jumped into the air and fired a magic bolt at it, destroying yet another one of Twilight's things. Twilight looked at Luna with a straight face.

"How have you not destroyed Canterlot?" She asked calmly and Luna was confused. Twilight groaned and Luna picked up a plate of burnt toast... or better yet, BURNING toast! The fire caught in Twilight's mane and that's how Luna was banned from cooking.

____________

DAY ONE

AFTER NOON

"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!" Luna shouted in the library. Twilight groaned and looked up from her desk and at Luna.

"What? And there is no need to shout," Twilight said and Luna apologized.

"I am in dire need of direction to your chamber pot," Luna said and Twilight's brow furrowed in confusion.

"What? Luna... we don't use chamber pots anymore.....," Twilight replied and now it was Luna's moment to be confused.

"Then what do you use!? Do you just... go anywhere?" Luna asked and Twilight recoiled in disgust.

"Celestia no! What do you think we've become? Barbarians? No, we use a toilet," Twilight said but Luna was still confused.

"Here, let me show you where it is," Twilight said and walked to the bathroom where she showed Luna the toilet. She lifted up the seat and motioned to it.

"You can... go in this," Twilight said and Luna nodded, then Twilight left Luna to her business. And Twilight would forever remember this as one of the biggest mistakes in pony kind.....

5 minutes later....

"TWILIGHT WE HAVE A BIIIIIIGGG PROBLEM!" Luna yelled from the bathroom and Twilight groaned and facehoofed. Twilight stood up and went towards the bathroom. Only to freeze as she felt her hooves get wet. Twilight paled and rushed to the bathroom. She threw open the door and saw....

What used to be the toilets spot, which was now a spot with exposed pipes gushing water in the room. And over at the other side was a destroyed toilet.

"WHAT IN CELESTIA'S NAME HAPPENED HERE!" Twilight yelled in shock and Luna looked at her with panic on her face.

"I TRIED TO THROW IT OUT!" Luna exclaimed and Twilight groaned.

"Luna you don't throw it out! YOU FLUSH IT!" Twilight exclaimed and Luna looked at her in confusion. Twilight groaned again. And that's how Luna had to be potty trained.

____________

DAY ONE

EVENING

"Twilight, I find the lack of lanterns disturbing. How do you light up this place when it gets dark?" Luna asked, watching as the sun started to set. Twilight looked up from her book.

"Oh, it's simple. Let me show you," Twilight put a book mark in her book and placed it on her desk then walked over to the light switch.

"See this?" Twilight asked and Luna nodded.

"It's a light switch, it turns that-" She pointed to the light "-on and by on I mean it lights up the room," Twilight explained and flicked the switch. The light instantly turned on causing Luna to gasp.

"That is amazing! The first new age invention that is useful!" Luna exclaimed and walked over to the light switch. Luna observed it all over and Twilight went back to her desk. She started to read again, until the light turned off, then on, and off again. She frowned and looked over at Luna who was flicking the switch on and off constantly.

"Are you done yet?" Twilight asked.

"Nope!" Luna replied with a grin.

For about 5 minutes or so, this is what Luna did. Until the light crackled and exploded. Twilight opened her mouth in shock, that wasn't even possible. Twilight groaned.

"SPIKE!" She yelled out to her assistant. She'd need replacements for everything....

____________

DAY TWO

MORNING

It was a beautiful morning in the town of ponyville, and Twilight Sparkle was taking her friend Luna to Sugercube Corner. Hoping to show Luna some of the new foods in this world. Luna wasn't very happy because she liked the food of the old age. It was simple... though bland. But it was better than the food now adays.

The two entered Sugercube Corner and sat at a table. Pinkie Pie jumped out and greeted the two in her normal hyper demonor and asked what they would like.

"Do you serve Mom Amy?" Luna asked and both of the ponies looked at her in confusion.

"Ohhh! What's Mon Amy!? It sounds tasty! How do I make it, I want to make it, tell me how to make... .pretty pleeaaassse!" Pinkie pie said and Luna watched as the pink earth pony jumped up and down.

"I don't know how to make it....," Luna replied and Pinkie stopped bouncing.

"Awww! Too bad, it sounded tasty! Like you eat a mom and a mare named Amy!" Pinkie said.

"That makes no sense... and it's wrong to eat ponies Pinkie," Twilight stated. Pinkie paused.

Then she said, "not if they're ginger ponies!"

"Pinkie that's still a type of pony. Just because they have freckles, orange hair, orange coats and green eyes do NOT mean they are made of ginger bread," Twilight said. Pinkie didn't reply, which either meant, she didn't hear it, didn't know what to say or didn't care.

"So what do you want Luna?" Pinkie asked Luna. Luna thought about it and looked at the menus.

"I'll have this thing... called... a muffin?" Luna asked and Pinkie grinned wider than normal.

"Great choice! What flavour!?" Pinkie asked and Luna's eyes widened.

"There is more than one flavour?" Luna asked and Pinkie nodded.

"Hmmm... surprise me," Luna asked and Pinkie grinned.

"Okay! But to tell you the truth, my sister Surprise is better at surprises than me," Pinkie replied and Twilight ordered some banana bread. Pinkie skipped off to bring them their orders. When Pinkie came back she gave Luna the muffin and Luna took a bite out of it. Only for her to scream in agony as fire shot out of her mouth and her face was beet red.

Luna gasped for water and instead Pinkie gave her milk, Luna was to preoccupied to care and gulped the milk down.

"What in my sisters name did you do!?" Luna yelled at Pinkie.

"Oh it was a double rainbow muffin!" Pinkie said.

"Boy were you sure surprised!" Pinkie exclaimed and giggled. Luna growled in anger.

"I SENTENCE THEE TO DEATH!" Luna yelled pointing at the pony and bringing the attention of everyone in the store.

"Uh... Luna we don't do that anymore...," Twilight replied. Luna gasped.

"What do you mean,I can't murder anyone I want anymore?" Luna asked and Twilight nodded.

"WHAT KIND OF SICK AND TWISTED FUTURE IS THIS!?" Luna yelled out in despair.

"Buck all this, I'm going back to the moon. See ya'll in a 1000 years. Oh wait, you won't be around," Luna laughed and teleported away. IT was silent for many minutes until Twilight spoke.

"Damn. I was gonna tell her I liked her....," Twilight said and wings popped out of her back.

"Oh what?" She looked at them in confusion.

~THE END~

Epilogue: Ventures Into The Internet

Epilogue

Ventures Into The Internet

*Note: in my story Luna wasn't present for the reformation of Discord, so she has no idea that it happened*

It had been two months since Luna had tried to learn modern technolgy and failed. And In the end, Celestia had to go convince Luna to come home. It took about one month, but it worked! And now Luna was back at Canterlot. Celestia had been tryin to teach Luna about new technology and things were going smoothly... until one day.....

____________

ONE DAY

Luna and Celestia were having tea in the garden, and all was calm and peaceful. When suddenly, Discord appeared and caused their tea to turn to chocolate milk.

"Discord! How did you get free from the prison!" Luna yelled and Celestia motioned for her to calm down.

"Discord has been reformed by our very own element of Kindness, Fluttershy," Celestia told Luna, who looked at Celestia in shock. Her jaw hung agape.

"Sister dear, you must really close your mouth, you'll catch flies, unless you like that. But I suggest you don't do it," Celestia joked. Luna closed her jaw.

"So he can roam free and cause chaos, yet... I CAN'T MURDER WHO I WANT!?" Luna yelled out.

"Now Luna my dear, I don't spread bad chaos anymore. I spread good chaos. Not all chaos can be bad, change is chaos yet change is good," Discord said and Luna scoffed.

"Buck you all...," She grumbled and stomped off to the castle. Celestia sighed.

"You'll have to mind her, her hormones have been out of whack since she's learned you can sentence people to death anymore," Celestia whispered to Discord. Discord nodded in understandment.

"I completely understand little Woona. I do admit that was very fun sentencing people to death."

IN THE CASTLE

Luna went into Celestia's room to find something to black mail the pony. But instead she found a strange, thin black square. That opened to a weird.... glass like surface and... buttons. Luna pushed one of the buttons and the square buzzed with life. The glass surface lit up and Luna's eyes widened.

"What in....?" She mumbled and Celestia walked in. Celestia gasped and threw the square out the window saying no repeatedly. But it was too late, Luna could not unsee the inappropriate picture of her self....

"Uhh... Celestia, what was that?" Luna asked and Celestia grinned uneaisly.

" uhhh that was the internet. And you should stay away from it at all costs Luna. It's a dark dark place with dark dark things," Celestia replied.

"Did you draw that picture of me?"

"NO WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT!? I DON'T LIKE YOU AT ALL! I MEAN I DON'T LIKE YOU MORE THAN A SISTER!" Celestia yelled and sweated nervously. Luna eyed her suspiciously. Luna now hated all technology.

THE END

Bonus Chapter: The Dubstep and Modern Music.

The Dubstep and Modern Music

Idea and written by: Kittys-yay

________________________________________________________________________________

Although Luna had told her self, she'd never again touch technology after her first accident, or more like... accidents**. Twilight had eventually persuaded Luna to try again, but with something new. This time they would be going to a night club. Where Luna would experience modern music. Though she didn't quite understand how one can dance randomly to classical music.

Luna looked up at the night club, the bright neon blue sign reading 'The Night Light'. Luna turned her attention away from the sign as it started to burn her eyes. Another thing Luna noticed was the loud noise coming from the night club,it sounded like an elephant was dancing around in there. She looked at Twilight who stood beside her. Twilight looked at her and smiled.

"Don't worry, that's just the music," Twilight told her and Luna's brow furrowed in confusion. What kind of music sounded like an elephant dancing around? Twilight motioned for Luna to follow and they entered the night club. The first things Luna noticed was the loud music that echoed in her ears and off the walls. Luna could barely hear her self think in all this loud music, if it could even be called music that was.Then she noticed the lights. The lights were dim and tinted different shades of colours. Next was that there was a large amount of ponies in this nightclub. Thankfully Luna had used a spell to conceal her looks, or she'd be mobbed by ponies, all wanting different things. Some wanting autographs and the others just wanted to be near a royal.  Then she noticed, there was a stage of some sorts. Atop the stage was a unicorn with a jagged blue and light blue mane, their coat was white and they wore sunglasses and headphones. Their head bopping to the sounds. From this distance they appeared to be a mare.

"What kind of music is this!?" Luna asked, but her voice was drowned out by the music. Twilight looked over at her, seeing her mouth move, but didn't hear her.

"WHAT!?" Twilight screamed over the music and looking at Luna in confusion.

"WHAT KIND OF MUSIC IS THIS!?" Luna yelled.

"THIS IS DUBSTEP!" Twilight told her and Luna frowned. 'What kind of uncivilized music is Dubstep!? And what kind of name is that anyways!?' Luna thought in confusion. Then she decided not to dwell on it and just do what Twilight did.  Luna followed the unicorn over to the bar where she ordered drinks for them both. Luna noticed the music wasn't so loud over here, as the counter was a fair distance from the speakers that played the music. So it was much easier to hear ponies talk. The bartender, who was a burly earth pony stallion with a long black mane and a sky blue coat, made their drinks quickly. He slid the glasses down the bar to the two. Twilight grabbed the glasses and gave one to Luna. Luna eyed the liquid. It was clear, like water, but she knew it was an alcohol. She just didn't know what.

She smelled the liquid but it had no smell. Colourless and odorless. Twilight looked over at her.

"IT'S VODKA!" She told her, but Luna didn't know vodka. She had never drunk much back then unless it was wine or her personal favorite drink, moonshine. Luna shrugged and thought 'how bad could it be? If anything I bet it's like Moonshine. It'll probably be very strong.' Then she took a sip. The colourless liquid touched her tongue and it took every ounce of control not to spit the vile liquid out.

Luna swallowed and she felt a burning warmth pass through her. After the sip, her throat burned and a stranger taste was on her taste buds. The taste reminded her of that substance.... hydrogen peroxide she believed, or was it rubbing alcohol? It tasted like what that liquid smelled like. And though Luna had only smelled it once, when it was used to clean an injury she received in a fight with a griffin ambassador. Luna shook her head and coughed. Twilight saw Luna's reaction and chuckled.

"THAT WAS MY FIRST REACTION TOO!" Twilight said. Luna looked at Twilight and glared. Twilight seemed to chuckle, but Luna couldn't hear it, only see the movement. Then Twilight motioned for her to follow her. Luna put her drink back on the counter and followed Twilight out to the dance floor. Luna was confused, until she realized, Twilight wanted her to dance to this music. Luna shook her head and backed away from the dancing floor and went back to the counter. She looked around for her drink, but it was gone. So she had to order a new one. Hopefully they had wine or moonshine.

"WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE?" The earth pony asked.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY MOONSHINE? OR WINE?" Luna asked and the earth pony paused, then he laughed.

"MISS, WHAT CENTURY ARE YOU FROM!? THIS IS A NIGHTCLUB! WE DON'T SELL THAT STUFF!" The stallion told Luna. Luna gasped and shook her head. 'What kind of fine establishment DOESN'T sell wine or moonshine!? Both are high society drinks!' Luna thought in confusion and shook. This was one thing Luna would have to change. Luna walked away from the bar and towards a corner with seats. Then the song that had been playing suddenly started to die down, and when it was done. The unicorn mare put another song on. Although Luna didn't like this 'dubstep', Luna did however, like this song. It had a certain ring to it that she liked.  Twilight came up to Luna.

"COME ON LUNA! JUST DANCE A LITTLE!" Twilight said. Luna shook her head.

"I DO NOT WANT TO DANCE," Luna replied. Twilight sighed and used her magic to leviate Luna.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" Luna yelled out as Twilight brought her over to the dance floor.

"PLEASE LUNA, JUST DANCE! IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER!" Twilight told Luna. Luna groaned.

"YOU AREN'T GOING TO LET ME GO UNTIL I DANCE, ARE YOU?" Luna asked and Twilight nodded.

"FINE!" Luna exclaimed and Twilight dropped her gently on the dance floor. Then Luna looked around nervously, as ponies started to look her way. She gulped and then took a deep breath in and started to dance. However, Luna was dancing strangely, and after several moments ponies started to chuckle, laugh and giggle at her dancing. This infuriated Luna. So she stopped dancing.

"WHAT DO YOU FIND SO FUNNY!?" Luna yelled and glared at the group that had been watching her. They stopped laughing at her. Some more ponies looked at the commotion. Then a large strong earth pony stallion that looked as strong as Big Mac, came over to her. He had a short, rugged yellow mane and a brown coat. He wore a shirt that read SECURITY.

"I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE!" He told her.

"WHAT FOR!?" Luna asked.

"FOR DISTURBING THE OTHERS," He replied. Luna growled at him.

"THEY'RE THE ONES WHO DISTURBED ME! THEY WERE LAUGHING AT ME! MOCKING ME! SO I TOLD THEM TO SHUT UP!" She said. But he remained unconvinced. Twilight came over.

"SIR, SHE'S RIGHT! THEY WERE IN THE WRONG HERE. SO IF SHE HAS TO LEAVE. I SAY THEY SHOULD TOO," Twilight told him. He shook his head.

"I ONLY SAW HER. SO SHE'S THE ONLY ONE TO LEAVE," He said. Twilight frowned.

"BU-"

"NO BUTS! NOW LEAVE OR I'LL HAVE TO THROW YOU OUT!" He said, his face starting to show his anger. Luna turned around and then bucked the stallion in the face. He was knocked back, but not as much as he would've if Apple Jack had done it. He looked at her and growled. The music stopped. Everypony was now paying attention to Luna.

"SCREW ALL OF YOU! I HATE THIS DUBSTEP! I HATE THIS NIGHT CLUB! I HATE THAT BAR! I HATE MODERN TECHNOLGY!" Luna yelled. A lot of ponies gasped at her outburst, and the unicorn mare on the stage looked like she would faint.

"Luna! You don't mean that!" Twilight exclaimed. Luna looked at Twilight and glared.

"I do too! NOW SEE YOU ALL IN ANOTHER THOUSAND YEARS!" Luna said and once again teleported her self to the moon.

THE END