How many roads must a stallion walk down before you call him a stallion?
Big Macintosh’s father had asked him that question a long time ago. It wasn’t original. In fact, it was a word-for-word quote for a very old song. But it was a good song, and it was a good question, so it didn’t really matter.
And what was the answer? How many roads must a stallion walk down before you call him a stallion? Big Mac liked to think about it. There was no real answer, of course; he had discovered that a long time ago. The number changed depending on who you were.
When Big Mac was younger, he thought that the question was foolish: everypony called you “a stallion” when you were big and old. You didn’t need to walk any road. But as the years went by, he realized that the question was deeper than it looked like.
There were many types of roads. And ponies can talk about you as a stallion, but the moment in which they think about you as a stallion is what really matters.
The spring breeze brought the scent of apples to him. Sweet Apple Acres always had that particular aroma, of course, but Big Mac thought it was stronger just after dawn. Morning dew had something to do with it, he was sure of it.
He stopped for a second, just standing in the middle of the field, gazing into his family’s land. Green and brown mixed with the sky’s soft orange, creating a beautiful picture. A poet could have described it perfectly; a musician could have composed a melody based on it. However, Big Macintosh was neither of those things. He was just a farmer, used to dealing with simpler problems.
So he just stood there and enjoyed the view. Sometimes he got so accustomed to the beauty of the fields that he didn’t really think about it, but now and then he would remember it, and the magic of the moment would return to him.
Sweet Apple Acres was more than just a home for him: It meant work, it meant sacrifice, it meant joy and strength and hard times and good times. Sweet Apple Acres was a part of him, just like his blood and his muscles. He never forgot that.
But sometimes he wondered if that was a good thing after all.
Shaking his head, the stallion smiled and hit the road again. Ponyville was just ahead of him, waiting, and he had to get there as soon as possible. There were apples to be picked and fields to be plowed. His life demanded to be lived, and sadly, his life meant working as much as he could nowadays.
As the morning breeze ran through his mane, bringing a pleasant chill to his neck, Big Mac closed his eyes and smiled.
He wondered if Ponyville thought about him as a stallion. And he wondered if that mattered at all.
Applejack had woken up first that morning, and as a result, Big Mac had found that breakfast was already done by the time he had entered the kitchen. It had been a pleasant surprise, naturally. And of course, it had happened for a reason. Applejack’s mind had apparently been very busy with a certain issue, and she had wanted to talk about it with Mac while Apple Bloom and Granny Smith were still sleeping.
Celestia hadn’t raised the sun yet, so the kitchen was being illuminated by a single candle. Its flame was trembling with their breaths, and the whole room seemed to move. Big Mac hadn’t said a single word, and Applejack had chosen not to waste any time.
“Fluttershy talked ‘bout you yesterday, Mac,” she had said. “She asked me if you’re fancyin’ some filly in town.”
The stallion had raised his head at those words. Applejack had surprised him, both because of her tone and because of her question. She hadn’t sounded angry or upset; in fact, he had seen a subtle grin that she had been trying to hide. His sister had known such words would interest him, and that had startled him a little. His sister knew, and he had thought that was impossible.
She looked so much like their father at that moment. The only thing that set her apart was her eyes.
However, Big Macintosh knew how to hide his thoughts. Focusing his eyes on the candle, feeling slightly mesmerized by the trembling light, he had known that Applejack couldn’t read his face. He had taken a piece of toast and bitten into it, not making a sound.
“Ah said you aren’t.”
Big Mac had nodded. “Ah’m not,” he had said after swallowing. “And you shouldn’t have talked ‘bout those things with me. You oughta respect Fluttershy’s privacy, sis.”
“She asked ‘bout you,” Applejack had said, this time forgetting to hide her huge grin. “Aren’t you happy? Ah’m sure her interest is good news for ya.”
The stallion had taken another bite from the toast, and had chosen to stay silent. Fluttershy being interested in him was good news, that was for sure. But that was hardly new. He had known that for a long time.
Step by step, Big Mac kept walking towards Ponyville, thinking about what Applejack had said. Thinking about what he had said.
And thinking about Fluttershy.
Big Macintosh had never been a tail chaser. His life had been devoted to his family, to his farm, to his house. That’s what his father had always told him to do. “Romantic affairs are for stallions, and you’re just a colt,” he used to say. But sometimes, Big Mac couldn’t stop thinking about her.
He would never forget the first time he saw Fluttershy. Applejack had talked about her friends before, but that day had been the first time she brought them to the farm. Big Macintosh was still trying to learn how to buck properly back then, eager to help Granny Smith with the farm.
Fluttershy had walked in with a shy smile, looking at everything with wonder. She was older than Applejack, and it showed up. Puberty had hit little Fluttershy early. Long, slim legs—almost spider-like—eyes too big for her head, a mane that covered half her face and two wings, not completely developed but able to lift her in the air.
Big Mac found her so strange. He had seen pegasi before, but Fluttershy was different. She looked light, fragile. Delicate. Always surrounded by trees with roots stronger than anything and ponies who could lift a chariot by themselves, that little pegasus looked to Big Mac like she would shatter into pieces if one talked too loud in her presence.
He, of course, said nothing. He simply took a peek at her and then turned his attention to his bucking. Applejack introduced him to Fluttershy, but the filly said nothing and just hid behind AJ. Big Mac just nodded at them. And then they were gone. But he had kept on thinking about Fluttershy. Not about the way she moved, or about the light in her eyes. He just thought about her, simple as that.
Big Mac wondered if he had fallen in love that day. As the sun got higher and higher and the sky lost its orange tone to become blue again, the stallion realized just how little he knew about the issue.
He never heard an angelic chorus singing when he looked at Fluttershy’s eyes. He never felt his heart pounding until it looked like it was going to jump out of his chest. He never mumbled or blushed when she was near her.
But he felt something else. Being around Fluttershy felt just right. He didn’t need to talk to her or look at her. Just knowing she was there was enough for him to feel warmer, somehow. Better. For a couple seconds, the weight on his shoulders would seem lighter, and life would be a little brighter. But not too much, which was a good thing. Big Macintosh liked his life, and Fluttershy didn’t change it. She just made it a little better.
But was that love? He couldn’t be sure. He had only talked about love with one pony, and he was gone. And it had been a long time ago.
The sky was almost completely blue now, and Big Mac realized he was walking slower than usual. He should already be in Ponyville. But the day was nice, and Big Mac chose not to hurry. Sometimes, one had to stop and think.
Fluttershy had slowly become a usual sight in Sweet Apple Acres, always surrounded by her friends. Big Mac didn’t always see her when she came to visit, but sometimes he got lucky and she approached the part of the fields where he was plowing. Sometimes, he would catch a glimpse of her.
When she was excited, she fluttered a little while walking.
When she felt comfortable, she raised her head in such a way that her mane formed the shape of a heart.
When she saw an animal, be it big or small, her pupils grew wider and she forgot about everything else.
When she got scared, she left out a quiet yelp, one that nopony else seemed to hear. And then, when the danger passed away, she sighed and smiled.
Big Mac smiled and shook his head. He sure had noticed the pegasus the exact moment they had met. But she never looked at him twice, at least until the day they talked for the first time.
There were a couple pegasi flying above Sweet Apple Acres. Big Mac stopped to look at them. They were a brown stallion and a grey mare, and there was something strange in the way they flew. It was beautiful. The mare was the one taking the lead, and the stallion followed every single step of hers. Their wings barely moved, but they weren’t just gliding. They were using the air currents to move through the sky.
Big Macintosh looked down. Those pegasi weren’t just flying, they were dancing. Maybe there was music in there and he couldn’t hear it. Maybe they were singing. That didn’t really matter. Those two pegasi were sharing a moment, and he wasn’t meant to share it with them. The sky was their domain, and he was going to give them some privacy.
Were those two pegasi in love? He couldn’t know. Maybe they were just siblings. They were a pleasant sight anyway.
They were having fun. Big Mac wondered if he could do something like that with somepony else. He was not a fun pony, and he was the first one saying so. He worked all day, and when he had free time he usually prefered to stop and think, or contemplate the fields, or spend time with his family. He had nothing to offer as a partner. Life with him would be boring.
But Fluttershy had shown interest in him that morning… and it hadn’t been the first time, he thought. Truth to be told, asking Applejack about his love life out of the blue was far more direct than anything she had done before, but Fluttershy was not good at hiding her thoughts. She was definitely interested in Mac. And Mac was mature enough to realize that he wasn’t neutral about her either.
But what to do?
The sound of water running interrupted his thoughts. Big Macintosh realized he had been looking at his hooves for a while now. His mouth was forming something eerily similar to a pout. Surprised by his own corporal language, he raised his head and took a look around him, determined to see if somepony could have seen him.
He was still alone, of course. He sighed in relief and made sure to keep his head as high as possible. He wasn’t a crybaby, and it was as sure as his coat was red that nopony was going to see him walking like a drama queen because of a simple, pretty mare.
He frowned. Okay, maybe that hadn’t been fair to Fluttershy. He shouldn’t disrespect her like that. She wasn’t a “simple, pretty mare.” She had more depth than her looks.
Then again, that was the rule for everypony. Granny Smith had always said that everypony has their secrets, the things that make them happy or sad. Maybe some precious memory, maybe some private thought, maybe a certain way to see the world. His grandma said that Big Mac should always treat everypony with respect, because you could never know about the ponies that you found in your life. Even when they were mean or rude, that was no excuse, because maybe there was a reason why they were like that.
Big Mac believed those words. He only got mad at the ponies he knew by heart. He could yell at his little sister if she did something bad, for example, because he had raised her. Apple Bloom had shown him her true self, so he had the right to be angry. Same with Applejack, and Granny Smith…
Then he frowned. And Fluttershy? Could he get angry at Fluttershy? He didn’t know.
The stallion shook his head and noticed that the sound of water had become louder. He was at the small river that crossed Ponyville. The road to Fluttershy’s cottage and the road to Ponyville were the same until that exact point. But now, if he wanted to go to town, he had to turn right, crossing the bridge. To his left there was a small path that led to the western part of the Everfree Forest… and of course, to Fluttershy’s.
Big Mac bit his cheek. Well, from that point on, he had to stop thinking about such things, or else somepony was going to see him and notice something was wrong with him. And after that morning’s talk, that was the last thing he wanted.
But he couldn’t just stop thinking like that. If he tried to, he would’ve ended up failing. He had tried it before. So the only thing he could do was to stop in that exact point, and let his mind do his job. Eventually, he would stop thinking about Fluttershy and then he could continue with his morning.
Letting out a satisfied grunt, Big Mac sat down and rested his back against the bridge, the running water by his back and Sweet Apple Acres spread before him. He wondered where the two pegasi he had seen could be at that exact moment. Maybe they were still dancing. Or maybe they had stopped and were heading to town. No way to know that.
The stallion closed his eyes. There was nopony in sight, so he had no reason to worry about being caught acting like a schoolfilly with a crush. Although, now that he thought about it… was he acting like that? Big Macintosh opened his eyes and frowned, then turned to the small path that led to Fluttershy’s cottage. He hadn’t seen a schoolfilly in love before... Unless Apple Bloom was in love with some colt in class. But if that was the case, then a schoolfilly with a crush acted exactly like a normal foal.
And Applejack? Big Mac scratched his nose. No, she definitely wasn’t in love with anypony. She couldn’t hide anything from him. The perks of being such an honest mare, Big Macintosh thought. He never lied either, but he knew how to maintain a poker face.
And then, his thoughts went back to Fluttershy. Had the pegasus ever acted like a schoolfilly in love? He knew she was… Well, maybe “in love” was too much. She was interested in him. Yes, that was better.
She was definitely interested. Big Mac knew it. And he was sure he could remember the exact moment in which she had noticed him.
It had been, of course, the first time they had ever talked. Big Mac had fallen into Fluttershy’s net the moment he had seen her, but she had ignored him… Or at least she hadn’t thought about him twice.
But then, one day, when Big Macintosh was still a teenager acting like an adult, he had walked Winona and had ended up near Fluttershy’s cottage by chance. Or at least that’s what he had told himself then. Big Mac wasn’t really sure. He was playing with Winona, but then he had heard a sound. A quiet yelp, like the ones Fluttershy muttered when she was scared. It hadn’t been followed by a sigh of relief.
Fluttershy had moved there recently. She was barely old enough to do so, but she was doing fine. Or that’s what Applejack had been saying, at least. But Big Mac didn’t know that by first hoof, and for a horrible moment, he had thought something bad might have happened.
“Winona, wait here.”
He still didn’t know why he had said that. Winona, however, obeyed and sat down, wiggling her tail. Big Macintosh nodded, patted her head, and then ran away to Fluttershy’s cottage.
Only to find her looking worried at a bunny. She was biting her lips and her face looked paler than usual. She was frowning, something new to Big Macintosh.
Fluttershy had turned to him, surprised, and hid her face under her mane. She never took a step back, though, and Big Mac noticed. That couldn’t mean anything good. The colt hadn’t said a word, and then he had looked at the bunny. It was Angel, the little grumpy fellow who always followed Fluttershy around with a carrot in his mouth. However, he didn’t look fine at all. He was sitting on the ground, looking helplessly at them, and his face had a greenish tone.
The animal was clearly suffering. “What happened?” Big Mac had asked. He didn’t even think about saying hello. “He’s not looking good.”
“Uh…” Fluttershy had gulped and looked at him with the only eye that hadn’t been covered by her mane. “He… Angel fainted for a moment,” she had finally explained. Her voice was trembling, but only a little, Big Mac remembered. “He hasn’t been feeling okay lately…”
“His stomach?” The colt had turned to the bunny and raised an eyebrow. “You’re feeling weak and hungry, right? Even when you can’t eat anymore.”
The little fellow had opened his eyes wide in surprise, then nodded vigorously. Or at least he tried to before covering his mouth and trying not to vomit.
“How…? How did you…?”
“Ah’ve seen him before,” Big Mac had explained, looking at Fluttershy. “He’s always eating carrots.”
“S-so?”
“Ah bet he only eats carrots.” Big Mac had sighed. “This is not the first bunny Ah see that does that. They love their flavor, but only eatin’ carrots is very bad for their health. He needs lettuce.”
“Lettuce?” Fluttershy had raised her head at this, and her mane had stopped covering her face, turning into that heart shape Big Mac knew so well. “That’s all? He just needs to…?”
“You should’ve brought him to the vet before,” Big Mac had said. He had turned around; he had to go with Winona. “This is something pretty basic for you to know if you’re having a bunny as a pet.”
“I… Yes. Of course.”
Big Mac had nodded and tried to walk away, but Fluttershy had interrupted him. “Wait!” she had said, something weird in her voice.
He had turned to her. “Yes?”
“T-thanks! Thank you very much for helping Angel Bunny. But, um, how did you…?” She had shook her head, then looked at him. And there was something new in the way she looked at him.
It wasn’t interest. It wasn’t love. Far from it. For a second, Fluttershy had looked like she didn’t like him at all. But only for a second, and then she had only been grateful.
“You’re Applejack’s brother,” she had said. “H-how did you know this?”
“Ah’ve been working at the farm since I was big enough to walk,” was Big Mac’s answer. “Good morning, Fluttershy.”
And then he had gone away with Winona.
Big Mac smiled at the memory. He had been confused by her anger for a while, but then he had discovered what was happening there. He had been lucky enough to catch a glimpse of something that Fluttershy never showed to anypony.
He had hurt her pride.
Of course, the mare was famous for being nice and humble. Big Mac knew first hoof that she had quite the history in sacrificing herself for others. But now and then, everypony makes mistakes. Nice ponies could be selfish sometimes, because nopony is as simple as they look like at first sight.
Lettuce sickness was a thing that developed with time, so Fluttershy had waited at least a week or so with Angel Bunny being sick without going to the veterinarian. Although, maybe she just didn’t know there was a vet in Ponyville. Or maybe she had been too shy to go there. Big Mac couldn’t know the full story. He could only guess.
But he was sure he had seen Fluttershy being hurt in her pride when he offered his help without being asked. The sentence itself sounded like something was wrong. It sounded like something Applejack would do. But Big Mac knew his eyes hadn’t lied to him.
Of course, when he saw Fluttershy again, she was quick to thank him about the whole deal, and Big Mac knew she meant it. But there was something else in her looks, something that only he could see.
Something quite similar to determination.
Big Mac looked at the sky. Not a single trace of orange left, which meant that he was running really late. Applejack would be angry at him when he returned to the farm. But he didn’t really care about it. She had been the one that had mentioned Fluttershy on the first place. That would teach her.
Teaching… Big Mac licked his lips. He wondered who had taught Fluttershy about animals after that morning. Maybe she went to the vet and asked for lessons. Or maybe she used a book. He only knew that once Applejack had appeared in Sweet Apple Acres with Rainbow Dash and Rarity, and they had talked about how Fluttershy was busy studying. Big Mac never asked what was she studying, as it wasn’t his problem.
But Fluttershy eventually grew up to be the caretaker Big Mac had always hoped she would become. It was a slow process that took her more than a couple years, but she managed. And Big Mac, rather selfishly, believed he was the reason behind her purpose.
It wasn’t a wild guess, however. It had taken him years to realize this. He soon noticed that whenever Fluttershy was near him, she would look at him in a special way. Her eyes got a little spark of fire on them, and there was what looked like a tiny frown in her face. But it wasn’t a bad kind of frown, it was a good expression. Or so Big Mac thought, but he couldn’t really put his hoof on it.
Until one day he saw Applejack, still a teenager, trying to buck the biggest tree in Sweet Apple Acres. Her sister still hadn’t developed her muscles completely yet, and Big Mac didn’t let her work too much because she was still growing.
It was impossible for her to get the apples out of that giant tree. Even Big Mac had trouble with it, but she was trying anyway, and once she realized she couldn’t do it, she made the same face. Fire in her eyes, a tiny frown. Something that almost looked as a smile.
And then Big Mac understood it. Applejack was marking that tree as her goal. Bucking that tree, getting those apples? That was the most important thing for her at the moment. It was something that followed her everywhere, always in her mind, until the day in which she was able to get it right came. And then, she moved on, and she had learned a lot meanwhile. It was a very simple thing to do, but it looked like a really good way to grow as a pony to the stallion.
Big Mac was Fluttershy’s tree. She had wanted nothing but get his fruit.
The implications of what he had thought hit him just after he finished thinking about the sentence. He nearly choked on his own saliva and felt a deep blush forming on his face. Okay, that had been bad wording on his part. Very bad wording.
He was Fluttershy’s goal. She wanted to reach him, and…
Okay, it still sounded bad. Big Mac rolled his eyes. Embarrassing oneself when nopony else was looking was truly a feat, he thought. Of course he knew what he meant. Reacting that way was stupid.
Fluttershy had seen him as a goal. Like she wanted to be better than him at taking care of animals. He was pretty sure of it. It wasn’t like he had talked about this with her, but he remembered the time when Winona got sick. They didn’t know what was happening to her, and the vet had no clue either. But he wasn’t letting that dog die.
Winona had been with her for too long to let her go like that, and Apple Bloom didn’t need to experience the death of a loved one again. He was getting out of his teenager years then, and was almost an adult. And he was determined to save Winona. He had remembered Fluttershy and how Applejack had said she’d been studying animals lately.
So he took Winona with him and went to her cottage without saying a word. Fluttershy greeted him with a quiet yelp and a barely audible “hello” muttered from behind her mane. But once she saw Winona, once Big Mac talked, her attitude changed.
“Ah need your help,” he had simply said. And Fluttershy understood.
She raised her head, and the heart shape came back. Her wings relaxed. Her back got straight, and there was that look in her eyes.
She moved away from the door, letting him get in, and closed the door behind him. “What’s wrong with her?” she said, pointing at Winona.
Big Mac explained everything. How Winona couldn’t eat anything without vomiting it, how she felt weaker than usual, how she howled like she was in pain every night. Fluttershy nodded at everything, and then she looked him straight in the eyes while gently caressing Winona. The dog left out a grunt that could mean anything.
“Has she been near the Everfree Forest lately?” Fluttershy asked after hearing Big Mac’s tale. Once he nodded, she turned to Winona and scratched her head. “I need you to open your mouth for me a second. Do you mind?”
The dog looked at Big Macintosh. The stallion nodded, and then she obeyed. Fluttershy sniffed Winona’s breath, then coughed.
However, when she got up again, she was smiling. “You can close your mouth now, little pup.” She turned to Mac, and tilted her head to the side. “Don’t worry, she’ll get okay. She just swallowed some bellamare. There’s been a lot near the Everfree Forest lately.”
Big Mac looked at her with a confused look. “Bellamare?”
“A green plant, with fruits that look like big cherries.” Fluttershy said. “They smell nice, so some animals take a wild guess and try them the first time they see them, and then it makes them feel ill. She’ll get better in a couple days, but if you give her a lot of water and let her rest, she’ll heal faster.”
Big Macintosh smiled at her. “Thanks. Ah didn’t know what to do.”
And then, he knew that something very important for Fluttershy was taking place. Her body language was pretty clear. Her wings opened a little, her eyes looked a little brighter. She smiled wildly, then looked down to the floor and blushed. “Oh, I-I only… Wanted to…”
The rest of the sentence was lost in a soft whisper that Big Mac couldn’t hear. So he did what he knew was best: he nodded, took Winona, and walked away.
“Good night, Fluttershy,” he said before leaving the cottage. She muttered something. Then the door closed.
The circle closed that night, Big Mac thought as he played with his hoof on the ground. He could hear something splashing in the water. A fish, surely.
He had asked for Fluttershy’s help, and she had known something he hadn’t. And from that moment on, the shy pegasus had become the go-to mare when there was a problem with the animals. She seemed to know everything about them. She had reached her goal. She had surpassed Big Mac.
Big Macintosh felt a little proud for her. Just a little. It was almost like when Apple Bloom had said her first word, or like when Applejack had finished her first song on the banjo. He knew he had very little to do about the feat, but it didn’t matter.
Something changed in Fluttershy after that, however. They started seeing each other much more frequently. Sure, Big Macintosh went to the cottage a couple times every few months because sick animals were something pretty usual for them. But Fluttershy also went to the farm more and more often. Applejack was the first one realizing it, but then again, all of her friends went to Sweet Apple Acres at least once per week, so it wasn’t a huge deal.
And sometimes, Fluttershy would hang close to him. She looked more confident in his presence. There were subtle things, like going through the part of the fields he was working on when seeing Applejack instead of taking a slightly shorter route, or maybe waving him goodbye every time she left the farm.
They talked, although not too much. Both of them enjoyed silence. But now and then, she would ask him how the day was going, and he would say a couple words. She would hide her face behind her mane, and then he would turn to her and say something else. He would ask her back, and then he would show that he cared about her answer. And she would stop hiding her face behind her mane, and the heart shape would come back.
Big Mac sighed. Yes, Fluttershy was interested in him. It wasn’t like she was subtle about it.
Well, no. She had been subtle about it. She just stopped mumbling in his presence, and acted far more comfortable than usual. But for Fluttershy, that was just as blunt as one could be.
Or so he had thought until this morning. If she really had asked Applejack about his own love life, then she really liked him.
Big Mac felt the blush reappear on his face. Well, that was fantastic. He was definitely acting like a schoolfilly in love right then. He had to stop being so childish, he thought. Fluttershy has a crush on you, Big Mac, he said to himself. She’s been like this for years. And now she’s starting to make her move.
Wait. Was he exaggerating? Maybe he was exaggerating. That had sounded like exaggerating. Fluttershy had only asked about his love life. There was nothing weird about it. Maybe she was just curious because he was such a lonely stallion. Maybe he couldn’t be as sure as he’d always been.
Big Mac sighed. Then, was Fluttershy in love with him or not?
“She asked ‘bout you,” Applejack had said, this time forgetting to hide her huge grin. “Aren’t you happy? Ah’m sure her interest is good news for ya.”
Big Mac had taken another bite from his toast, then remained silent. But as the minutes passed, he had found himself unable to resist.
“Is she seeing anypony?” he had asked.
Applejack just smirked. “That’s my boy!”
Big Mac buried his face between his hooves. Well, he had asked that out of curiosity, right? So maybe Fluttershy had done the same. Maybe she wasn’t interested in him in the slightest.
But… He was not exactly apathetic about Fluttershy. His ears perked up as he thought about it. He… Did he have a crush on Fluttershy?
He let out a grunt. That wasn’t a question he really wanted to answer. He wasn’t a tailchaser. Romance was for stallions, and he was just a colt, his father had said. But then again, that had been so many years ago. But had he walked enough roads to finally be a stallion?
Okay, that didn’t make any sense. He was definitely dancing around the issue there. Was he in love with Fluttershy? He had to be honest with himself.
Love. He still knew nothing about the issue. But Fluttershy had shown him one side from her that very few knew. That had to mean something, right?
Well, it meant that he could get angry at Fluttershy, after all. So he cared about her. But was it something else? Yes, he wasn’t neutral about her, but maybe he just saw her as a friend?
No. That made no sense.
Fluttershy had opened to him. Once she reached her goal she had apparently realized she cared about Big Macintosh.
And truth be told…
It had been not so long ago. Twilight Sparkle had already came to Ponyville, and suddenly his sister was an Element of Harmony and a national hero. A national hero that still had to buck apple trees for a living, but it was still a fancy title. Something for the Apple family to be proud of.
It had been a normal day for everypony but Big Mac. They had worked on the farm, Apple Bloom had tried to find her cutie mark and failed, Applejack had spent some quality time with her friends in town, and Granny Smith had fallen asleep in the kitchen.
But Big Mac didn’t feel okay that day. He had the blues, as his father used to say. The worst part of it was knowing that there was no real reason why he felt that way. He just did.
Maybe it was how his back had ached that morning because of the cold. Maybe it was just that his sisters finished their chores sooner than expected and he was left alone in the fields. He had felt both things before, of course. But that day, the cold seemed to be a little colder, and the loneliness seemed to be a little more lonely.
And when he finished working that day, he didn’t feel like going back home. Apple Bloom would talk about her day, Applejack would crack a joke and Granny Smith would tell one of her old stories, and everything would be laughs and fun. But he didn’t want fun.
He had gone to the westernmost part of the field and had sat there, looking at the sunset. The breeze had been running shivers down his spine, but he didn’t mind.
He had stood in there for what felt like hours, but the blues didn’t go away. He was starting to think he’d have to cope with it until the end of the day, when he had heard a flutter behind him.
“Big Macintosh?”
Big Mac had turned around to see Fluttershy landing right there, a puzzled look on her face. As she flapped her wings one more time and closed them, he had smiled at her without getting up. “Good evening,” he had said.
Fluttershy had opened her mouth to say something, then closed it and looked at the ground. “Uh…” She had tried again. “A-are you okay?”
“Hmm.” Big Macintosh had turned to the sunset again. “Ah’m doin’ fine, thanks. Just admirin’ the scenery.”
She said nothing.
Big Mac had sighed and closed his eyes. “If y’are lookin’ for Applejack, she’s in the house.”
“No, I was…” He had heard her walking over him and sitting by his side. “I was flying to my house when I saw you here. I thought I could say hello.”
“Hmm.” Big Mac had opened his eyes. Fluttershy was indeed sitting next to him, but she was also looking at the sunset. “Thanks,” he had said. Then he had turned back to the sky. “Sunset’s beautiful today.”
“It is.” Fluttershy had smiled. “It always is.”
“It’s getting cold, however.” Big Mac had started to get up. “I think I’ll go now. You should do the same.”
“Big Macintosh?” Fluttershy had said with a voice a little softer than usual. She was still looking at the sunset, and even though Mac could see she was shivering a little, she had made no sign of getting up. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Big Mac had sighed again and sat down. “Ah’m a little cold,” he said. “That’s all.”
“Cold?”
“Cold.”
Fluttershy had said nothing. She just sat there, not looking at him. And soon Big Mac did the same. They weren’t close enough to feel each other’s body heat, but that didn’t matter. He knew she was there.
And even though she hadn’t changed his evening, she had made it a little better.
“Applejack went to Ponyville today,” he had explained after a while. Fluttershy had looked at him when he had spoken, but she had made no noise. “Ah’m sure she had a good time.”
“I was with her,” Fluttershy had said. “Today was a very fun day.”
“And Apple Bloom went with her cutie mark crusadin’ business again.” The stallion had smiled a little. “She says she’s doing it just for the mark, but she’s having a good time while doin’ that.”
“She’s a great foal.”
“She is.” Big Mac had moved his back a little, trying to get more comfortable against that tree. “Both her and Applejack are the best sisters Ah could ask for. And Ah couldn’t be happier for them.”
Fluttershy had gotten a little closer to him. Just a little. “But…?”
“But…” Big Mac had licked his lips. “But, well. They’re having a very good life, and Ah worked hard for that. Ah couldn’t be more glad. But sometimes…” He had shook his head. “Ah wouldn’t change this for anythin’. Ah’m happy and Ah would do the same if Ah had the chance.”
She had said nothing.
“But sometimes, Ah think about it a little. Just a little.” He had shrugged. “Both of ’em have friends. Both enjoy a couple laughs with the folks down in Ponyville. But Ah can’t, because somepony has to take care of everythin’.”
“Granny Smith…”
“Granny had enough in her life,” Big Mac said. “And Ah repeat that Ah like my life. Ah wouldn’t change it for anything. Ah’m a workaholic,” he had added with a chuckle. “Plus…” He had turned to Fluttershy. The orange light made her eyes shine brighter than usual. “Ah think Ah owe her. For all the years she had to take care of us, when we were younger.”
“You don’t owe anything to her,” Fluttershy had said. She was using that soft voice again. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Of course it wasn’t,” he had said, “but Ah still owe her. Ah promised that ah would take care of the farm for us all, and Ah wouldn’t take it back.” He had smiled. “And it’s not like Ah have to do it all by myself, right? Applejack does as much work as I do. Ah have a good life, and Ah have a good family. They are happy, Ah am happy, and that’s all that matters.”
He had turned back to the sunset, and so had done she. They had stood like that for several minutes.
“But sometimes,” Big Mac had said, “Ah wonder ‘what if?’ What if Ah had chosen the other path? What if nothing bad had happened back then? What if Ah had lived a childhood like Apple Bloom’s? Some days Ah can’t help but ask those questions. And Ah get a little cold.”
Fluttershy had said nothing. There had been nothing she could say, really. But she had taken Big Mac’s hoof on her own and she had held it there until it was too late for them to be there. And then she had held it some more.
And again, Big Mac had felt just a little better.
The stallion shook his head to come back to his senses. He had been daydreaming too much; he almost forgot where he was.
Getting up from the ground, Big Mac turned around to the bridge that led to Ponyville. Mildly surprised, he realized he had forgotten why he was heading to town in the first place.
Truth be told, he had shown Fluttershy one side from him that almost nopony knew about. She knew him almost better than his own family, if only for that subtle glimpse she had caught that night.
His blush deepened. Fluttershy had the right to be angry at him, then. Partially, at least. And she apparently cared for him.
Well, not “apparently.” She did care for him. And he knew this as a fact. He knew this because of her body language, because of the countless little moments, because of the way her eyes shined when she looked at him. But mostly, he knew it because he knew Fluttershy.
But what about him? Did he care about Fluttershy? Did he love her? He wasn’t neutral about the pegasus, but that wasn’t enough. What did he feel about her?
Big Macintosh started to walk again. Slowly at first, then a little faster. The sun was already up in the sky. It was almost noon.
What did he feel about her? He felt life was a little better with her around. He felt like thinking about her far more often than he would be willing to admit to himself. He felt like being near her all the time.
He was a farmer. He wasn’t a poet, or a scientist. He only cared about practical things. If something had to be done, he would do it. Dancing around the issue was not an option.
He kept on walking, never muttering a word, never turning around. Once he had made a decision, nothing was going to stop him. He had chosen a way to live, and he was going to keep on living it that way. There was a job to be done, and nopony else but him would do it. Allowing others to dirty their hooves wasn’t his style.
He followed that small path that led to Fluttershy’s cottage.
Fluttershy was interested in him. He was interested in Fluttershy. And she had been brave enough to actually ask Applejack about the issue. If a pony as shy as that little pegasus was willing to do such a thing, then he was not going to chicken out of the situation.
Romance was for stallions, not for young colts like him, his father had said. But as Big Mac stopped right in front Fluttershy’s door, with all the little critters around him looking at him with curiosity, he smiled. He had no plan for this. He didn’t know what to say to Fluttershy, or how to start the whole deal.
But that didn’t matter. He would say what needed to be said. And that was enough.
He knocked at her door three times and turned around for a moment to see that small path that had led him there. And as the door opened and he heard a soft surprised yelp from the yellow pegasus inside the house, he thought that he had finally found the answer.
How many roads must a stallion walk down before you call him a stallion?
Sometimes, just one.
