How Twilight Saved The World
KNOCK-KNOCK! Somepony knocked on Twilight Sparkle’s door. Or rather, the door to the Ponyville Library. Which ever you prefer.
“Hello!” greeted Twilight to the strange visitor.
A dark brown pony with an eye patch and a buzz cut stood by her door. “Miss Sparkle?”
“That’s me.”
“You need to come with me.”
“What’s this about?”
“Top secret intel. There is no option.”
“Alright, let me pack my bags.”
“Ok, you have 5 minutes.”
Twilight went into the library and packed per saddle bags. She came out with Spike on her back. “This is Spike, my assistant—“
“Number one assistant!” interjected Spike.
“—Number one assistant. He’s coming along too.”
“Just as well. Let’s go. Scotty, three to beam up.”
Twilight, Spike, and the yet-to-introduce-himself visitor arrive on board the starship SS SHIELD on the bridge.
Through the transporters, they had rematerialized as humans. Except Spike, who rematerialized as a dog, which is still kind of stupid.
“Oh, pony! This again…” Twilight sighed.
A bald man with a calm-looking face walked up to Twilight and put out his hand. “I’m Agent Coleson. Welcome to the SS SHIELD.”
“I’m Twilight Sparkle.” She put out her hand as well, and Agent Coleson shook it.
“Oh, excuse me,” the eye-patch guy pardoned himself. “I believe I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Nick Fury.” He shook hands with Twilight too.
“So, what do you need me for?”
“You and your friends have a great power, which may pose a potential threat to our world. We have to keep you safe so your power doesn’t fall into the wrong hands.”
“Or hooves,” mentions Spike.
“A talking dog, how novel,” comments Fury.
“So where are my friends?”
“We have them aboard the starship already, you can visit them whenever you like.”
“Ok. So where would that be?”
“Agent Coleson, would please give her a tour of the ship?”
“Gladly,” said Agent Coleson as he took Twilight’s arm to start the tour. Spike followed behind.
On the turbolift, Twilight considered everything that had happened so far. “So, our Elements of Harmony pose a threat to your world?”
“Elements of Harmony, so that’s what it’s called. Yes, we have traced the source of several natural disasters to your world and your ‘Elements of Harmony.’”
“Natural disasters?”
“Massive floods, continental earthquakes, country-sized hail storms…”
“Okay, so how does that happen?”
“We don’t know yet. We’re hoping you could help us find out.”
Agent Coleson and Twilight Sparkle arrived at the main guest gathering room, where all of Twilight’s friends were. When they opened the door, they found them all crawling around on all fours trying to figure out what had just happened.
“Twilight! What’s going on?” Rarity cried, looking at her new hands in sheer horror.
“Yeah, what’s happened to us?!” Rainbow Dash yelled.
“Wee! Shape-changing is fun!” Pinkie rolled around on the ground and wiggled her new fingers and toes.
“These are your friends?”
“Yes,” replied Twilight to Agent Coleson. “They’ve never had… the experience of being human before.”
“I see. Well, I’ll let you help them adjust. I’ll check back soon.”
“Ok, stay calm, I’ll help you get through this.”
Fluttershy choked back her tears to try and listen to Twilight’s instruction.
It took several hours, but finally she got her friends to at least be able to stand and walk.
“Why do we even have to take this form anyway?” complained Rainbow Dash.
“The world we are going to is filled with beings like this. Our counterparts in this world are less… intellectual.”
Rarity screamed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Uh, these ugly dresses! Where did they get them from?”
“Those would be standard Starfleet attire, miss,” a new face popped in the door to say hi. “We all wear them here. You weren’t wearing anything when you got beamed up, so we had to give you something. Don’t be embarrassed, we didn’t peek. Much.”
“Embarrassed? About what?”
“Nevermind that, I’m hungry. Where do we go to get something to eat?” Rainbow Dash added bluntly.
“To the mess hall!” The cadet led them to the mess hall, and they ate cheerfully.
The cadet gave Twilight a magic stone from Equestria that could grant her her magic abilities even as a human. She hugged him.
“Oh, thank you so much! You have no idea what this means to me! It feels so weird not to have telekinesis.”
“Telekinesis! I thought it was just a light prism!”
“No, it’s everything I need…” began Twilight. “To take over your world! MUAHAHA!”
“What?!” The cadet backed away as Twilight transformed into a winged human of darkness. All of her friends were still busy eating and didn’t notice.
Twilight’s eyes turned green and purple smoke rolled out of her eyes. “MUAHAHA!” Twilight’s hands glowed as she took control of the ship. It was already headed to Earth, where she was also planning on heading, so the navigation didn’t notice the change in direction. Although there was no change in direction, there was a sudden increase in speed. But no one noticed, because every SHIELD agent aboard was still trying to figure out the controls to the ship. Scumbag move of Starfleet to just hand SHIELD a starship without even giving them an owner’s manual. Nick Fury could barely remember what orders he could give aboard it. It’s a miracle they managed to get to Equestria at all without crashing head first into the Everfree Forest.
The SS SHIELD got back to Earth in no time after that, and everyone was thrilled that they were finally home. Twilight teleported herself and her friends on to the planet’s surface. She began broadcasting a message that Earth was now under her control. This made everyone mad, and so they responded. First with nuclear missiles, but that didn’t work because they never do (well, except in Avengers, but that’s only because Tony Stark was there). So, after everything else failed (including the throwing of the cheese), the Avengers had to assemble.
Nick Fury and Agent Coleson beamed down to the planet. “Whose idea was it to bring them here?! I want that guy’s head on a platter right now!”
Agent Coleson gave him a blank look. “I believe that was you, sir.”
“Oh, right. I want my head on a platter right now! No, scratch that. I want options! Now!”
Just then Lieutenant Chekov beamed down to the surface right beside them. “We could throw dark matter at her and suck her into a black hole!”
“That might work. Where do we get the dark matter from?”
“Planet Vulcan, sir!”
“Screw that. I have no idea where in the galaxy that is. Call in the Avengers!”
“I’m on it sir!”
Tony Stark was lounging in his car, thinking about the next robot he was going to build. All of a sudden, he gets a ring.
“Hey, Stark! Listen, we got an alien invasion here. We need your help.”
Stark’s expression went blank as his thoughts turned back to New York. He shuttered and was unable to respond. Pepper came by and tried to snap him out of it, but it was useless.
Bruce Banner, working in a lab at SHIELD, was interrupted by a geeky guy walking in and interrupting his work.
“Hulk! We need hulk! World in danger!” The guy came screaming, arms waving.
“You know you can’t just make me angry like that, right? And I’m better at English than you, right?”
“Really? I thought you always talked like this: ‘Hulk angry! Hulk smash!’”
“That’s insulting. Go away, let me finish my work.”
Thor was in no mood to save Earth. His hammer was missing and he couldn’t find it. Meanwhile, Loki was snickering.
Black Widow and Hawkeye were in cognito somewhere in Africa and no one could get a hold of them.
Agent Coleson bluntly said, “We’re out of options, Fury.”
“No we’re not! We still have Captain America!”
“Oh yeah, let’s call him up.” Agent Coleson started dialing his number. “Then again, let’s not. As great as he is, a movie just about him is going to be boring.”
“You’re right.”
“Looking for someone special?” A ninja guy hopped in just then.
“Deadpool! Not you! Go away!” Nick Fury ordered.
“What’s wrong? Sore about our last meeting?” Deadpool put his arm relaxedly around Fury.
“Yes. Now go away!”
“Nope! I know you’ve got a mission for me! So give me a deal and I’ll go do it!”
“There’s no deal. Just a crisis. Go do it or the whole world will be doomed and it’ll be all your fault.”
“Ok, will do. I’ll just steal the money when I’m done with my new credit card.” Deadpool waved Nick Fury’s credit card in front of his face.
“Hey, how’d you get that!”
“See ya!” Deadpool scurried off to face Twilight Sparkle.
Deadpool highjacked a helicopter, which he used to take over a space shuttle, which he used to capture a fighter jet. In the fighter jet, he launched all the missiles at Twilight, who was at that time as big as Godzilla (who Deadpool had previously defeated). Twilight easily blocked all the missiles, and shot a magic blast that destroyed Deadpool’s fighter jet.
Deadpool used the momentum from the fighter jet and the explosion to launch himself at Twilight’s face. He landed on her head and dislodged the Sombra crystal from Twilight’s head. Once removed, Twilight shrunk back to her normal size and Deadpool fell ten stories onto the concrete below, on a fire hydrant.
“Ow my groin! That’s not fair! At least it’ll grow back! And I got this crystal!” Deadpool cracked it into tiny pieces that he could eat and gobbled the whole thing down. Then he turned into a big huge monster.
“Oh no! What have I done?” Twilight cried as she looked at all the damage she had done and the monster that Deadpool had become.
“It’s alright, Twilight,” Fluttershy held her hand. “We’re here for you.”
Twilight looked at all of her friends, and her heart glowed with friendship. “You’re right. Let’s do this.”
Twilight’s head started to glow and so did the rest of her friends’. They each turned into weird human-pony things and friendship energy flowed from them into a powerful blast that shot straight at Deadpool’s stomach. The big pieces of the Sombra crystal were destroyed and Deadpool returned to normal with a loud belch.
Once normal size again, he cheered. “Wow thanks! I thought I was going to be pure evil forever!”
“You already are!” accused Nick Fury. “now give me back my credit card!”
“Oops! Well, gotta dash!”
“Hey, that’s my line!” retorted Rainbow Dash.
“Well, I think it’s about time we head back home,” opined Applejack.
“I agree. Agent Coleson?”
“The SS SHIELD is ready,” replied Agent Coleson. “Scotty, seven to beam up.”
When the mane six transported back to Equestria and became ponies again, they were startled to see that their home had been devastated by a horrible earthquake.
“Wow. I guess our Elements of Harmony really do cause harm to the other world. I wonder what causes that?”
The journey to find the answer to that question would keep Princess Alicorn Twilight Sparkle occupied for years. Ponyville got fixed up, again. Earth was restored. Stark snapped out of his trance, Bruce Banner finished his project, Thor found his hammer (and beat Loki up, who recovered after some time), Black Widow and Hawkeye finished their mission in Africa, and Captain America tried to make a movie about himself that wasn’t so boring. We’ve yet to see if this awesome super hero actually succeeded in making an awesome movie. Scotty returned to the Enterprise, the cadet turned out to be Sombra in disguise, who was kept prisoner at SHIELD. Oh yeah, the SHIELD team finally figured out how to use the starship. Right before it needed to be traded in for a newer model with less bugs. Deadpool is still Deadpool. Godzilla is still dead (or is he?). Chekov was promoted to Commander for his black hole idea once he got approval from the Vulcan counsel to test it on Romulus’ star. And Twilight Sparkle learned a lot about interstellar connections. Interesting. No, fascinating. Live long and make some (super) friends.
Author's Note
This is a 2000 word story I wrote as a warm-up for the National Novel Writing Month in about an hour and a half. This story was unplanned and unrefined and thus rather random. Enjoy!
-SG7 ( :) )
