Why am I in Equestria as a girl?!

by RainbowIsaac

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 2333

When Twilight Sparkle inexplicably contacts a young man, he is transported to Equestria. Unfortunately, his gender isn't left intact...

You've heard of all of those normal Human in Equestria stories, right?

Well, this isn't one of them.

See, in the normal variant of a Human in Equestria, it's where the main character either:
A) Becomes a pony.
B) Stays in their current form.
C) Is transformed into a different species.

But this fiction won't cover any of those three. No; instead, it's a story about how a boy who is transported to Equestria by Twilight Sparkle, but switches gender in the process.

He was also transported to just before the Summer Sun Festival, so he has to live through the entire plot while trying not to irreparably messing up the plot, the ponies, and overall try not to die.

Yeah, this isn't gonna end well.

Semi self-insert

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-27 01:18:04 UTC

This is How it Begins

I blink hazily, as my eyes begin to open. “Ah, morning… The best time of the day!” I grin. Throwing my blanket off, I look around. It seems rather early.

Alright, then! Let’s get started with the introductions! Hello, my name is Isaac, and I’m your everyday average brony. I’m not too old; only 15, to be exact, but I like to think that I’m rather smart, considering that I memorised the equation for Kinetic Energy (KE = 1/2M*V^2). My favourite pony is… well, let’s just say that I have all of the Mane 6 as my favourite ponies and leave it at that.

So anyways, I’m up this early to have a look at the internet to see if there are any new and awesome videos from my subscribed channels. See, I really like watching videos about video games from non-sequitur-using people; for instance, STAR_ and Raocow (though I haven’t watched Raocow in a while, so maybe I should check him today?). Anyway, looking around the hallway, it doesn’t seem that anyone is awake or anything.

‘Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where people are awake,’ I mentally joke.

Then, walking to the computer room, I blink. “It’s… on?” I say quietly, and rub my eyes. Yep, it’s on. Wow, I know my parents were being a bit slack today with taking away the computer cords, but this is a bit sloppy. Walking to sit down at the computer, I notice the desktop is the same as always (why wouldn’t it be?), and that there’s internet connectivity. Grinning, I plug in my headphones, and navigate to the website youtube.com. There, I click on the button ‘STAR_’, because a new video of his has just come out (I can tell by the recent activity thing). The title of the video says ‘Ninja Spy [TF2]’, and shows a picture of the spy wielding the Kunai. Excited, I click on it.

The page begins loading… and then, finally, when it finishes…

“Darn it,” I mutter, as the trademark yellow bar for a Youtube ad appears. Then, as the ad finishes loading, I look at the time.

And my mouth drops open in shock.

“What… the… hell?!”

The time has an infinity symbol; you know, like a sideways 8. Then, looking down at the bottom-right corner of the screen, my mouth drops even further. There is NO SKIP BUTTON!

“Why?” I moan. “What did I do to deserve this?” Then, I begin moving the computer mouse.

While the actual mouse moves, the cursor doesn’t.

“…What.”

Suddenly, a flicker of static appears on the screen. And then, it fades out, showing…

“…Twilight Sparkle?” I say, confused. Shaking my head, I look at her, noting how real she looks, especially those enormous eyes and that horn. Wow, someone must have been a really good animator-

She blinks. “Huh? How do you know my name?!”

…What.

What the hell.

That… that was… just, that was the ACTUAL voice that Tara Strong used for Twilight Sparkle. This is creepy as hell, honestly. It’s like…

Wait.

“Oh, I get it. I’m on candid camera, aren’t I? Dammit.” I groan. Of COURSE people would-

“No you’re not, Isaac!

My face morphs into one of confusion. “How do YOU know MY name?” I ask, slightly suspicious.

“Never mind that, this is really important!” Suddenly, her face scrunches up. “Agh! I’ve got to get this done before it’s too late! Say hello to past me!” Then, she mutters "Hopefully, with you here, this timeline will never happen..." That last sentence doesn’t really register in my brain. Suddenly, her horn gets wrapped in a violet aura. I stare at it. Wow, it looks quite pretty, actually.

And then, I feel a yanking feeling. And then, it feels like I’m being crushed down to the size of a pea, with all of the same pain, too.

Then, it feels like I’m sucked through a hole… then expelled out the end of another hole. Then, I expand to full size once more. “Urgh… where am I?” I groan. Today has been weird indeed. Then, I realize my eyes are closed. I open them.

The sun is shining, and I can see treetops above my head. Sitting up, I look around, noting that for some weird reason, I’m not afraid of all of the apples that are in the trees surrounding me..

“Well, I’m certainly not where I WAS,” I quip. Wow, I have a bit of a weird voice today; it’s high-pitched, like a girl’s voice. But I’m not a girl.

I know that.

But just in case, I reach down there to check.

…I don’t feel anything. That is, unless you count a HOLE as anything.

Hesitantly, I feel at my chest.

I don’t feel anything at all, signifying that at least I don't have breasts.

“Oh, darn it!” I groan. “It’s bad enough that I’m taken away from my home and family, but losing my gender too?” Then, what I say sinks in. I was taken away from my family…Tears begin to form in my eyes. I might never see them again! And even if I do see them, then I won’t be able to prove it’s me, because of me being the opposite gender! This... It was horrible. I loved my family a-a lot, they were th-the most important thing in my life, I shouldn't-

My thoughts are suddenly cut off as a sob wells up in my throat, and the tears begin streaming down my face.

“UWAAAAAAAAH!” I cry, letting out all of my pent-up emotions. I hold my hands up to my face, and just sit there in the trees.

====

Applejack groans. Today isn’t the best of days; first, she finds out that she had to organize everything for an early reunion, and then, she finds out that she has to organize food for the Summer Sun Celebration. She has a lot of work to do.

However, her concentration on the organization is broken when she hears the sound of somepony crying in her apple orchard. She sighs. ‘Sounds like there’s some poor lost mare in our apple orchards again,’ she thinks. Walking towards the area of the noise, she can hear it coming from a little less than a clearing away.

She trots towards the clearing slightly faster. Then, she goes, and sees just who was doing the crying sound.

But as the pony who was crying comes into sight, she freezes. Because that pony is not a pony at all, but a creature with two legs, and two arms. It’s hairless, except for its mane, which is a sandy-blonde and reaches down to just above halfway down its back, but its eyes are close in size to a pony’s. They’re more angular, though. It’s face is quite obviously feminine, marking it as a girl or mare.

But the creature also freezes upon seeing Applejack. The two beings stand, just staring at each other quietly. This goes on for a minute, at the least, although to Applejack, it seems like an eternity. Then, it says, in perfect Equestrian, “Do you understand me?”

This is Real? And I Get To Stay With Applejack?!

*A few minutes earlier*

I continue to cry. But then, I hear a rustling sound in the bushes. Taking my hands away, I look up to it…

And freeze. Because standing there, right there, in front of me, is a pony that I know very, very well.

At least, it seems to look like one. I could have just been kidnapped by some crazy dude that really likes ponies, and he had been monitoring me for a while. That wouldn’t make sense, though, because that would require me to not actually be a girl, and also require me to have dreamed up that Twilight Sparkle ad thing.

But I am absolutely sure that I didn’t. I could feel absolutely everything in it.

There WAS a possibility that I was going insane, though. I mean, talking to Twilight Sparkle, THEN getting sent to Equestria, THEN discovering I’m a girl? That sounds insane!

But from the fact that I actually felt my gender-switch, and a little feeling down there in my gut… it means that it happened. And this is very bad.

Then again, there’s no guarantee that I am in Equestria; I could just be in a strangely identical universe to it. Twilight Sparkle sending me here, though… I don’t know. So I’ll have to check by asking the creature in front of me a question.

Alright, I’ll have to stay calm, and not cry; I don’t know if it would respond badly to me crying and startling it.

Then, slowly, my mouth opens, and starts forming the words “Do you understand me?”

====

Applejack blinks. That creature just spoke, and it was in a feminine voice, too! It doesn’t look horrible, either; it looks nice. But just in case, she asks “Are ya gonna hurt anypony?” cautiously.

What she doesn’t expect is for the creature’s expression of shock.

====

What. The. Fuck.

That is honestly the only group of words that I can use to describe this situation.

How can a pony talk in the exact same voice as Applejack Apple from the famous show My Little Pony Friendship is Magic and look exactly like Applejack?

…Well, that proves it; I’m in Equestria.

This is officially one of the worst days I have ever had.

Though, to be honest, it could be worse, I think as I close my mouth. I could have been taken as a slave by the Diamond Dogs, transformed into an emotionless husk by changelings, eaten by a hungry Ursa Minor…

Yeah, don’t think I really need to finish that sentence. At least as I am now, my parents-

I stifle a sob. No, don’t think about them; thinking about them will only make it worse. My wonderful parents, my slightly annoying but loving and nice little brother, my amazing pet-

No, don’t make it worse. I already won’t be able to see them ever again, and thinking about them… yeah, not the best of ideas.

Realising I’ve been staring off into space for a while, I look towards the pony (Applejack, I should call her, really), who I only now realise isn’t all that far off from my height while sitting down; she seems around 3 feet tall and 4 feet long. “No, I’m not planning on hurting anyone,” I say. She seems satisfied with that answer.

“Good, sugarcube; now mind if ah ask what you’re doin’ on my family’s farm?” she says politely.

“I, uh… I don’t know,” my voice says, starting to reach critical quiet levels.

Inwardly, I groan. God-dammit, why the hell did my shy side have to kick in now?

“Uh, what was that? Ah couldn’t hear what ya just said,” Applejack asks, confused. She leans in close to me.

“I- I said, I don’t know,” my voice says, even quieter than the last time. Dammit, brain, why do I have to go Fluttershy mode now? And yes, I call them modes; because pretty much every personality variation I have seems to correspond to one of the Mane 6 and a few others. For instance, I can-

“Can ya speak up a bit louder this time?” Applejack says.

“Iunno,” I say, my voice becoming quieter than the last few times.

She looks at me, then sighs, shaking her head. “Alright then… Well, Ah’d just like to let ya know, if ya need somewhere ta stay, you can come to my family’s house if ya wanna. Oh, and my name’s Applejack, by the way.”

“Would I?!” Instantly, my face morphs from one of shyness to one of glee. “Oh my gosh, yes, yes, yes!” My mouth forms an enormous cheesy grin (which my brain tells me that it should be physically impossible to make such a large one, but screw you brain, I get to meet the Apple family), and I jump up and down on the spot. “This is gonna be AWESOME! Oh, and my name’s Isaac, by the way,” I say, finishing the sentence on a casual note.

“…”

Applejack facehooves.

“…Was it something I said?” I ask curiously.

====

Pausing as she eats an apple, Apple Bloom, sitting under a tree, looks up at Big Macintosh, who is currently bucking a nearby tree. “Big brother, do ya know why Applejack’s been gone so long?” she asks.

“Eeenope.”

“Oh.” Then, silent for a few seconds, Apple Bloom chomps down on the apple, then throws it off into the distance. “Are ya okay with me goin’ to check on her?” asks the filly.

“Eeeyup.”

“Yay! Thanks, big brother!” And with that, Apple Bloom walks off into the orchard.

Then, Big Mac, who knows that Apple Bloom will be safe as long as she stays in the orchard, gets back to apple bucking.

====

I look at Applejack. “Are you sure that you I can stay with you?” I ask.

“Yes, ah am! What kind a pony would ah be to not let a pony who doesn’t have a place to stay to stay at their place?” she says, apparently oblivious of the strange wording.

“Uh, thanks, I guess!” I say. Yeah, Applejack reminds me of one of my family; she’s really nice, and she can’t help but help people-

No. No thinking about them. Thinking about them will just make me feel worse. I don’t want to feel worse. Ergo, I don’t want to think about them for now.

Then, I look forward. Huh, seems we’ve reached the Apple Family residence. Well… I don’t know what to do next.

“EVERYPONY! WE HAVE A VISITOR!” Applejack shouts.

…

Oh, no. Why did I have to appear here? And so, dreading what will happen, I brace myself for the inevitable appearance of the residents of the home. Okay, gotta make a good first impression.

And so I wait for the appearance of the other ponies...