Chrysalis Visits Minion Mart

by Dunsparce

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Crossover
Length: 2137

Chrysalis is short on Changelings, so she makes a trip to Minion Mart

Minion Mart, for all your minion needs!

After the Canterlot Wedding incident, Chrysalis has been short on minions, for most of them got blasted off into Hades knows where. Now, she has to make a trip to a place she hasn't visited in quite some time: Minion Mart.

She then remembers why she hadn't been there in a while.

Published 2013-10-30 22:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-30 22:00:03 UTC

Chrysalis Visits Minion Mart

The ever so lovely Chrysalis sat in her throne, bored as all Tartarus. It was truly a boring day, for there was nothing evil to do, the Daily Villain News hadn't come on yet, and more than half of her troops were missing in action. She had been tapping her throne chair impatiently watching T.V. when her stomach began to rumble, interrupting her nothing-doing. The changeling rang a bell that sat on a desk nearby.

"Antenna! I want food!" Chrysalis yelled down the hall. Not even the slapstick cartoon on the T.V. was enough to brighten her mood. After about one minute, she rolled her eyes and peered down the hall yet again.

"Antenna!! I said I want food! Bring it!" she yelled, but no changeling came. With an angry face, she slammed the chair's hoof rest and pounced up. "Must I do everything around here?"

The angry queen stormed her way into the kitchen of the hive, steaming like a tank engine, scaring the small groups of changelings that happened to wonder by. The kitchen was a complete wreck, and there were no more than three changelings cooking any kind of meal. The queen stood there, shocked.

"Alright, midgets, I have two questions for you." Chrysalis said. All the changelings looked at her.

"What might that be, your majesty?" they all said in unison.

"One: Where is every pony? Two: Where the chicken nuggets is Antenna!? I want food!" Chrysalis raged as she slammed her hoof to the ground. The Changelings all looked at each other nervously.

"Uh... ermm... ehem. Antenna has been missing in action for two days, your majesty, as well as most of our staff."

"Auuuuuuuuuuugh." Chrysalis moaned. "Dare I ask how many Changelings are left in this hive?"

The changelings quickly flipped out a list and began to count. What worried the great queen is that there were only two pages of the list. When they finished counting, they began to sweat and they looked at each other once again with nervous faces. Chrysalis's face scrunched.

"Well!? Spit it out!" she demanded intimidatingly. The three minions gulped.

"U-umm.... o-o-o-o-one hundred forty three, m-ma'am."

Chrysalis's eyes widened dramatically as she breathed in heavily.

"WHAAAAT!?" she roared, shaking the whole hive. The three Changelings laid on their backs with swirls for eyes and their brain glued to the back of their head.

"S-Sorry, your majesty, but there's nothing we can do about it! After the failed invasion of Canterlot, we've lost troops heavily!"

"Gah!" Chrysalis raged, pacing back and forth. "What am I going to do? At this rate, the hive will empty in a week!"

"Y-- You can always visit Minion Mart!" one of them said, shaking violently.

"NEVER!" the great house fly yelled. "I cannot go back to that dreaded place! I despise it!"

"Your majesty, we may not have a choice. I apologize for the smart behavior but it's the truth! We can't go on like this, and it needs to be fixed immediately."

"How dare--!? Augh." Chrysalis said. The queen had found herself in a corner. There were two options as of this moment: keep going and suffer, or visits that dreaded place and prosper. Chrysalis sighed deeply, turned around and began to slowly walk away.

"Your majesty, what are you doing?" The Changeling on the left asked.

"What a queen must do. I am heading off to Minion Mart. We must prosper! And to add, I've forgotten why I even despise that place, so there should be little problems. It must of just been something annoying. I've matured, though, and I'm ready to take it on once again!" Chrysalis said as she looked back at her minions.

"Good luck, your majesty!"

The weather was stormy, evil, and mysterious around the dreaded shopping center. The words "Minion Mart" ran across the top of the store, and Chrysalis was reluctant to head in; her and her sponge of a mane. It was soaking all of the rain up which nearly made her look like a pony minus the cheese legs.

"Well, here goes nothing." Chrysalis said as the automatic doors opened for her to head inside. When she looked around, she was stunned. It seems many villains had been created since the time of her last visit, for the store had become quite expansive and was not an old black market as Chrysalis remembered. It was much nicer. With her black magic horn, the Changeling grabbed a cart and began to walk around, but no more than fifteen steps into the store, she was stopped by a name call.

"Well, what do we have here? It's Chrysalis! Hah ha! I haven't seen you in a while! How ya doin', sweet cheeks?" a fire headed, black robed demon asked from her right. Chrysalis closed her eyes, and behind the closed curtains, she rolled them.

"Hi, Hades..." Chrysalis said, clearly annoyed. "Listen, I'm just here to get some changelings for--"

"Oh, I know why you're here. Before you go, though, I'd like you to meet two of the new checkout guys! C'mere guys!" Hades signaled. Suddenly, a purple robed smiling man and a rough figure with a helmet and pins in his body emerged from darkness behind Chrysalis, spooking her.

"You called?" the purple robed man asked with a chuckle.

"Why yes, I did. Chryssie, I'd like you to meet Hades and Hades." Hades said.

"Oh great, there's three of you. Three times the annoyance. Faaaantastic." Chrysalis sighed.

"Yow, aren't you feisty? I've never met a house fly so adamant... well, if you don't count Pitty Pat that is." Kid Icarus Hades chuckled.

"Careful, or else I'll reave your soul in two!" God of War Hades threatened.

"Aaaaaalright then! I guess I'll be on my way to get these Changelings! Bye!" Chrysalis said with a smile as she patrolled on.

"Smell ya later!" Kid Icarus Hades said.

"You'll have to check out with one of us. We'll be here!" Hercules Hades called. Again, Chrysalis moaned and moved onward.

The Changeling strolled through the store isles, attempting to find the Changeling row. She whispered the names of the rows to herself as she walked along.

"Aurum, Koopa, Orc, Zubat, Thug, Gerudo... Changeling!" Chrysalis said to herself as she walked toward the Changeling isle. Taking a short cut down the Koopa isle, she was very shocked at all the different kinds of Koopas. There were Koopa Troopas, Paratroopas, Spiked Koopa Troopa, Hammer Bro-- smack! Chrysalis had suddenly run into something very spiky and hard, and when she looked up, all she could see was a gigantic spiked green shell.

"Agh! Sorry there." She said as she rubbed her bruised head. With three pounds, the gigantic dragon like creature turned around and looked Chrysalis straight in the eye.

"Hey, pal! Watch where you're goin'! I got Koopas to buy!" Bowser said with a glaring look.

"Hey... aren't you... Bowser?"

"The one and only." Bowser said, flexing his right arm.

"You're a lot less pixelated than I remember. And bigger." Chrysalis said, scanning Bowser up and down.

"Well, you know, the more games I'm in, the scarier I get. I believe your... Chrystallus?" Bowser asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Chrysalis. Close."

"I see. Well, as I said, watch where you're going. What're you doing here anyway? Don't bugs, like, lay a million eggs or something?"

Chrysalis facehooved. "It doesn't work like that, smart one. That's why I'm here to buy some minions after a failed invasion."

"Hey, I come here every other week. Who knows how one plumber can take out so many Koopas?"

"Maybe because they're turtles? Turtles aren't known for their fighting ability. They're known for being slow. Very, very slow."

"Shut up, I can dream, can't I!? I can't imagine bugs with cheese legs to be very effective either. In fact, a little pony could stop them if it tried hard enough!" Bowser roared.

"Listen, I'd just like to get through to my Changelings, please. It shouldn't be this difficult."

"Go around! I'm gathering Koopas." Bowser huffed.

"I said MOVE!"

"How about NO! RAWR!" Bowser screamed, giving Chrysalis's mane a back streak and throwing saliva all over her face.

"On second thought, I'll go around!" Chrysalis smiled as she bolted for the row over. She quickly ran with the cart over to the next row and down.

"Phew!" she sighed, catching her breath. When she looked up, however, she was unpleased to see men in black suits picking up dozens and dozens of boxes with small blue creatures in them. When she looked up, she saw that she was in the "Zubat" section.

"Aaaaaaaauuuuugh!" Chrysalis moaned as she attempted to slither past all of the Team Rocket Grunts.

"'Scuse me, pardon me, yes I see your Zubat, it's very nice, pardon me, gotta get through." Chrysalis said, bumping into many rocket grunts and triggering many shrieks along the way. When she finally broke through, she felt something parched on her shoulder.

"Get off of me!" Chrysalis yelled as she brushed the Zubat off of her shoulder. That Zubat then proceeded to Supersonic her right in the ear, making her cringe on the floor.

"YEEK!" the poor Changeling squealed as she curled on the floor, ears ringing like church bells. The Zubat then flew off and proceeded to Supersonic the rest of the shoppers.

"Agh." Chrysalis moaned as she got up, rubbing her ears. The Changeling then got out a notebook and wrote in it "Note to self, bring repels next trip to Minion Mart." When Chrysalis looked around, though, she nearly jumped for joy, for she had finally reached the Changeling section. She peered into the void inside the box, and the label on the front said "200 Changelings for the low cost of 500 villain points!"

Chrysalis was stunned, for she totally forgot about villain points. She quickly took out her iChangeling and looked up what she had, and what she had she could not believe.

"1053!? That's only 400!" she shouted aloud. Not only was Chrysalis stuck in the back of a Minion store, she could only afford 400 of them. "Gosh Celestia darn it!"

The grumpy changeling sat on her bum, wondering what in the world could she do next. She pounded at the floor and began to, once again, talk to herself.

"What am I going to do? My mane's a mess, I'm lost in a super market, I'm surrounded by idiots and a Zubat pooped on my wings--"

Chrysalis stopped herself and looked to her side.

"Wait a minute... I have wings. I could have...flown here... from... the... start... GAH!!" Chrysalis said as she grabbed two changeling boxes and flew over the isles. As she landed in front of the checkout lines with a smug face, she unfortunately noticed that the only unoccupied line was Kid Icarus Hades' line.

"My my! What hell have you gone through, Chrissy Cat?"

"I don't want to talk about it. And don't call me that."

"You smell like Zubat feses."

"I know. Just, check out my Changelings."

"No need to rush, Chrissy! And I simply MUST ask why you have bought so little? Could it be...? No! You have low villain points?"

"Shuddup."

"Why, I have over four million!" Hades chuckled as he scanned the Changeling box.

"I said shut up! I was only in one episode, okay?" Chrysalis pouted with a snooty face.

"Aww, you're really cute when you're red, rosebud." Hades joked as Chrysalis turned red.

"No, I'm not, you incompetent fool."

"How cold of you! Your words pierce my heart like an icicle. It's too bad that icicle is about to melt on you."

"Huh?" Chrysalis asked as she looked up to see a blob of water one meter before her face. And suddenly, she was wet, more so than before.

"Nice one, Hades!"

"Thank you, Hades!"

"That was better than my last soul harvest, Hades!"

"Oh, Hades, you are such a jokester!"

"Grrrrr!!!!" Chrysalis growled as she swiped the box out of Hades hand and stormed out.

"Don't let Twinbellows kill you on the way out!"

The tired and grumpy Chrysalis barged into her hive with the boxes being carried by her magic. Passerby Changelings pinched their nose at their smelly and cranky queen, who stormed directly into the kitchen. The three Changelings were nearly in the same position they were in before.

"So... uhhh... did you get the Changelings?" a Changeling asked.

"Screw you, I got 400, I got Zubat waste on my back and I can't reach it, I'm dirty and tired, I'm going to bed." Chrysalis said as she marched out of the kitchen and toward her throne room.

"Wow," one Changeling began, "Zubat waste? That must have been a long day."

Another Changeling nodded.

"Yeah, she must be pooped."