Pony by Day, Mercenary by Night

Chapter 3

“HEY GUYS!”  Yelled Sev “YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE WHAT WE SAW BACK THERE!”

“Well boss care to enlighten us?”  Scorch piped up.

“Hrm, let’s make a game of it.  I’ll pay for the winner’s drinks all week.”  Replied Sev

“Free alcohol?”  Misha inquired “That sounds delightful sir.  However, I must ask you, are you sure you want to do this?  When I win, you’ll be knee deep in debt.”

All of Black squad had crowded around Sev, Misha, and Ghost by now, part curious about what lays beyond the forest and part because they wanted to see their boss lose his fortune to the team’s strongest drinker and on alcohol no less.  Mind you, they’d give their lives to save their boss without a second thought; they expected no less from him, however; they still needed something to laugh at.

“I’m sure, I doubt you’ll be able to even-”

“…” Ghost cut him off.

“Dammit Ghost!  Why’d you do that?”  Sev indignantly yelled.

“…” Ghost replied in an unamused tone.

“Yeah, you’re right I guess, it’s not very professional, but who gives a-”

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.”  Farshot interrupted.  “You, and Ghost” pointing at each of them in turn “Went into the forest, and saw a castle, not only that, but you saw talking… horses.  Sir, with all due respect, did you hit your head during the crash?”

“Farshot, you’re an asshole, and no, I didn’t hit my head during the crash.” Sev replied

“Permission to speak sir?”  Asked Kad

“Granted, and for the last goddam time, stop asking me if you can fucking speak, yes, you can fucking speak, just shut the fuck up when silence is necessary.”

“Sorry sir, but I can’t do that, it’s against protocol.” Kad retorted as he held up a handbook entitled The Mercenaries Guide to the Galaxy; which placed a strange emphasis on always having a towel with you.

“Kad, can I see that book for a second?” Sev asked in as nice a tone as possible.

“Sure sir”

“Thanks” Sev then proceeded to quite literally throw the book at Kad.  Kad, being a trained mercenary, caught it before it hit him

“So, err sir, what are we supposed to do now?” Kad asked

“Simple” Sev responded, “We wait for Rex to finish scanning the atmosphere, then, we integrates the DNA samples that Ghost got into our Biomorph armor.”

“Wait, so, Sir, are you saying we’re going to become horses?”

“No, I’m saying we’re going to become talking horses.  Haven’t you heard the saying? ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’?”

“Ok sir.”

“Hey! Everyone!” Rex yelled “I finished scanning the atmosphere!  Strangely enough, this atmosphere is nearly identical to Earth’s only a LOT less polluted, oh, and the scanner is picking up some weird energy waves.  They seem harmless though, DEFINETELY not radioactive.”

“Alright then” Sev said “EVERYONE! Take a DNA sample from Ghost, its integration time!”

Every member of Zeta squad took a lock of mane from Ghost, and placed it in the palms of their gauntlets, the pieces of mane slowly sank into their armor, and their HUDS displayed an INTEGRATION SUCCESSFUL message.

“Alright” Sev piped up “We’re on an unknown planet, however, as I stated, they seem to speak Galactic Basic on this planet, so communication shouldn’t be a problem.  We’re going to make this clearing our base camp.  Fixer, Get to building some form of barricade around the clearing, Kad, I want you to help him, Scorch and Farshot, get some firewood, no telling what’s in this forest, Ghost and I didn’t encounter anything, but things might come out at night.  Misha and Ghost, go forage or hunt for food, our reserves won’t last forever”

“YESSIR!” Replied all of Zeta squad

“…!” Chimed in Ghost.

Rex, you and I will go to the Castle we found near here, Ghost and I spotted a city nearby.  We should at the very least try to find out a little about the creatures on this planet if we don’t want to look suspicious.”  Sev then addressed the whole of Zeta squad.

“Alright squad, you have your orders, me and Rex will be in a nearby city trying to get the lowdown on things here for a month, I expect to see a decent looking camp with a campfire and ample food when I return, now MOVE OUT!”

The moment Sev said this, all of Zeta squad except for Rex rushed out of the camp to complete their orders.

“Alrighty Rex, time to morph.” As Sev said this, his biomorph armor slowly changed shape, turning him into a large pegasus slightly bigger than big Mac, with a pitch black coat, blood red eyes, and a short, brown mane.

“Affirmative” Rex said as he too began the biomorph function of his armor. Within moments, Rex had become a unicorn, taller than Sev, but not as muscular.  He had an orange coat, and navy blue eyes with a pitch black mane.

They soon began their many hour trek through the forest until they reached the city of Canterlot.  However, as they soon both noticed, the city was a scene of panic.  It’s citizens were frantically running about, each scared for their own life.  Sev and Rex had managed to stop one, a unicorn mare, and ask her what was going on.

“Haven’t you heard?!  The princess was attacked by aliens!  They tried to assassinate her, but the princess managed to capture one, however, he used some weird weapon, and managed to escape!”

“Err thanks for the info.” Rex stated as the mare immediately ran off, panicking.

“Well boss, I think now we know what’s going on.”

“Yeah,well-”

“HALT!” yelled a royal night guard

“I’ve never seen you around these parts, you certainly don’t look like you’re from around here, you’re definitely not dressed like it, hell, you’re not even dressed, with the recent events that have happened, I’m detaining you for suspicious activity.”

“Let me handle this one boss.” Rex calmly whispered, as he snuck behind the guard struck at the base of his neck, immediately knocking him out.

“Well, that was unnecessary.” Stated Sev, “Well, whatever, lets just find someplace to stay till things cool down.  Hold up a moment, let’s see if this guy has anything of value.”  Sev then took a saddlebag the guard had on him and moved the unconscious guard into an alleyway; fortunately, they were near the alleyway as it is, so no-one saw the guard being moved or struck.  Sev then promptly reached into the guard’s bag, and pulled out a pouch of bits.

“Coined currency, not very efficient but it’ll have to do I suppose.  There seems to be three different colors here, copper, silver, and gold, so they probably represent different values.  I’m assuming that gold is the most valuable, because it usually is.  Hey, Rex, help me put this thing on.” Sev whispered

“Right away sir” Responded Rex.  It took them and hour, but they eventually managed to properly secure the saddlebag onto Sev.  Sev and Rex then proceeded to walk down the street until they came upon an inn.

“Room for two please, preferably with separate beds.” Rex asked the innkeeper

“Very well deary” Replied the innkeeper, and aged, light brown earth pony mare. “That’s 10 bits a night. And it goes down to seven bits a night after your first week.”

“Very well, here you go” Sev replied as he handed her the sack of bits.

“Oh, but this is far too much for one night deary.”

“I know” replied Sev “Take out enough for a week.”

“Oh, sure deary.”  The mare then proceeded to remove seven silver bits.

‘hrm, so silver represents ten ‘bits’ as they put it’ Sev thought to himself.

“Here you go dearie” The mare said after she took the bits from the pouch.  She then returned the sack of bits to Sev, and hoofed him a key.  Sev placed the sack of bits into his saddlebag, and took the keys in his hoof.

‘How the hell did I do that?’ Sev thought to himself.

“Room seventeen, upstairs, down the hall and to the left.” Said the mare

“Thank you ma’am” Rex said as he nodded

“Oh, no thanks necessary deary, and please, call me Room.”

“Room?” Asked Rex

“Yes deary, it’s my first name, full name is Room Service, at your service” She said with a giggle and a curtsey

“Oh and I never caught your names dearies”

‘Oh, crap’ thought both Rex and Sev simultaneously.  Rex then immediately looked around for something to help him come up with a name, until he noticed blue cross on his red flank

“I’m Blue Cross” Rex replied

‘Shit” was all Rex could say until he spotted a fiery skull on his flank

“And I’m Blackfire” Sev chimed in.

Sev and Rex then promptly made their way to their room.  Sev unlocked the door, and both of them entered the room and locked the door behind them.

“Err sir? How the hell are you holding that key with your hoof?” Asked Rex

“I have no idea” Replied Sev

“Can I try?”

“I don’t see why not” Sev then hoofed the key to Rex who simply stared at the key in his hoof in amazement.

“Holy shit.” Said Rex “How the hell is this possible?  Could our hooves possibly be magnetic?”

“I doubt it” piped up Sev “Try thinking of releasing the key”

Rex did just that, and the key fell from his hoof.

”Great now pick it up”

“Okay sir, so it’s definitely not magnets, anyways, it’s kinda late, so let’s just go to sleep”

“Alright, let’s get to it, but remember this sack of bits isn’t gonna last us too long, so we’re probably gonna wanna find jobs here.”  Sev and Rex then promptly fell asleep.

The next morning

“*Yawn* Wow, haven’t slept that well in a while, what time is it?”

Sev then promptly looked at a nearby wall clock that stated the time to be 9:30.  He then saw Rex groggily walking out of the bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth.

“Hey sir, apparently this place has free toiletries and a continental breakfast.” He said

“That’s great” Replied Sev as he went to get his own toothbrush.

Sev had finished brushing his teeth and went down the stairs to the dining room where he was greeted by the sight of Rex devouring a tower of pancakes.

“Morning Sir” said Rex as he patted a seat next to him.

Sev took the sign and took the seat next to Rex and attacked his own tower of pancakes.

“Oh, and Blue Cross?” Sev whispered “Call me Blackstar, not Sir, while we’re in public, it seems rather suspicious don’t you think?”

“Understood” Replied Rex.  Sev nodded in approval.  They both finished their breakfasts and made their way out of the inn.

“Well, that was a good breakfast, don’t you think Blue Cross?” Asked Sev

“Yeah Blackstar, it was great.  Not as good as the stuff over at Space- err I mean Benny’s though” Replied Rex.

Canterlot, being the city it was, was bustling by this time of day, and the streets were rather crowded; however, the peculiar thing about this crowd was the fact that it was headed in one direction. Rex and Sev decided to follow the crowd, and as they finally came to a stop within a massive concert hall.  They saw a sight that made Sev repeatedly think ‘shishitshit’ in his mind.

There, in front of the crowd, standing in front of a podium, flanked by royal guards was none other, than the white horny pegasus that Sev had run into with Ghost at the castle.

“My subjects,” it began with a motherly tone that permeated authority and power, one might say it grabbed the attention to anypony who may have still been speaking at that moment and immediately silenced them.  “Many of you are probably wondering of of the strange aliens that attacked my sister and I-”

‘We did not attack her’ Sev thought to himself

“at Canterlot Castle; I am here to inform you that we are fine!” It finished

“Hey, Blue, let’s see if we can’t get that princess to hire us, after all, she is royalty, so there must be plenty of money to be had, right?  Besides, we'll be able to keep an eye on her that way.” Sev whispered to Rex

“Yeah, but Blackstar, there’s a problem, how the hell are we supposed to get a princess to pay attention to us.  Even more so how are we going to get her to hire us?  After all, we have no credentials.”

Seeing as the universe still hated Rex, it decided to contradict him again, by making a rafter located directly above the princess herself suddenly break.  Her nearby guards could do nothing but stand in shock as the rafter came plummeting down on the princess.  Rex, seeing this as an opportunity suddenly sprang into action, and leapt on the heads of the crowd members and managed to tackle Celestia out of the way.  Sev then leapt onto the heads of the same ponies he had to reach Celestia to return to Rex, this time, eliciting a chain of curses and profanities from the ponies he stepped on.

“Cue addressing of me in 3,2,1” Whispered Sev to Rex

And as if on cue Celestia called Sev to the podium.  Sev bowed upon reaching the podium.  Celestia then said

“Thank you my little pony, for the deed you have done.  And please, you may rise; one who has saved my life should not have to bow before me.  You have my eternal gratitude, so say anything, anything at all, and it shall be done.”

“Princess, I am honored to be speaking with you, and I’m pretty content with life as it is, however, I would like a job, but not only for myself, but also for my friend here” he said as he gestured over to Rex “and if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, we’ve only recently come to Canterlot, and we were also hoping for some form of lodging, our reserves will only last us so long.” Sev finished.

“That can easily be arranged. For the valiance that you have so evidently shown, I would like for you and your friend to reside in Canterlot castle, with you working as my personal bodyguard.” Celestia replied. “But I must ask, what are your names and what is your friend’s special talent?”

“Oh, well princess, I’m Blackstar, and my friend Blue Cross over there?  Well princess” Sev replied with a smirk “If his name doesn’t give it away, then I guess I’d have to say his special talent is healing.  He’s the best healer I’ve ever met, why he even brought me back to life after I was clinically dead for ten minutes.  He’s saved my life countless times and I’d trust him with it without a second thought.” He gestured for Rex to come up onto the stage, which Rex did before promptly entering a bowing position.

“Very well then” Celestia replied “He can be a royal doctor, and please, rise Blue Cross”

“Thank you Princess, but I do have one question, when do we start?” Asked Rex

“We can start tomorrow and get you fitted for armor; a stallion of your size will require a special set of armor after all.  Your friend, Blue Cross will need to be fitted for a doctor’s uniform, but first, we must test him to see how much training he has in the medical field.  No offense Blackstar, I do not doubt his skills, but we must either see his credentials before hiring him as a doctor, or we must at the very least see the extent of his skills.” Celestia replied. “However, in the meanwhile, you two are free to move into the castle tonight, I will send an escort to pick you two up from your current residence if you have one if you don’t, then you should just arrive to the castle after nightfall.”

“Very well princess, thank you, we shall arrive as soon as possible.” Replied Sev

Sev and Rex then made their way back to the inn which they just noticed was called the Prime Pony.

They walked up to Room and told her “Room, we’re moving out tonight, we’re err moving into the castle, oh but you can keep the rent for the week, think of it as a tip for the excellent breakfast.  Hopefully we’ll see you soon; you’re a really nice mare.”

“Thank you dearies, but I really couldn’t accept this, please, take back the bits.” Room replied

“Oh no, no, no!” Sev retorted “Room, I insist that you keep these bits, I’m not taking no for an answer!”

“Alright deary.” She replied with a sad smile

“Again room, we hope to see you soon, if you’re ever in the castle, feel free to ask for us.” Sev tried to console her.

“Oh, but deary, I have to ask, how did you two get rooms in the castle, those are usually only reserved for royal guests, and no offense dearies, but you both hardly look noble.”

“None taken Room, and the answer is that I am now officially Princess Celestia’s personal bodyguard, and Red here, will soon become the royal doctor!”

“Oh, my dearies that’s great news!” Room replied

“Yeah, so err sorry Room, but we’re moving out tonight, we really didn’t bring anything, aside from our saddlebag, so we’ll just grab that and leave now.”  Rex said

“Oh, its alright deary, I hope to see you two soon.”

“Thanks Room” they both said as they made their way upstairs to get the saddlebag.

Once they were both safely inside their room, they made their way to the saddlebag and it took them another hour to put it on, this time, Rex decided to carry it.

“So sir, how do you think the squad is doing?” Rex asked as they finished putting the saddlebag on him.

“Well, provided Scorch didn’t blow anything up, Farshot hasn’t strangled him to death yet, and Fixer hasn’t had a nervous breakdown yet, I’d assume that they’re doing fine. Hell, I’m actually worried for anything that might be retarded enough to try and cross paths with them.” Sev responded with a laugh.  “So anyway Blue,” Sev began as they left the room, “Let’s get to the castle”

“Right” replied Rex

“Goodbye Room.” They both said as they made their way out of the inn.

End Chapter

Well guys, sorry for the late update, but some stuff came up and I’ve gotten delayed, with a lot of issues. So here’s the extra large chapter I promised last chapter, to make up for the delay I’ll make sure the next chapter is even longer!

Oh, and guys, seriously, can I can has feedback pl0x? Don't forget to rate and comment btw.