Pony by Day, Mercenary by Night

Chapter six

"Oh, hey guys, look at all these cool flowers!"  Scorch said as Zeta squad walked through a patch of blue flowers.

Fixer lightened up, and a smile plastered itself on his face as he reached down to pick one.

“Fixer, what the hell are you doing?”  Asked Farshot

 “P-picking some of these flowers.  I’ve n-never seen this type before.  I’m going to d-dry one out and add it to my c-collection.” Fixer replied

 “Yeah, err sure Fix, whatever floats your boat.  But, uhh you sure you should be touching those?”  Responded Farshot

 “Well, I d-don’t see why not.”

 “What if they’re poisonous?”

 “Farshot, our armor is sealed, nothing goes in or out except through the breathers, and the breathers have an air-filtration system, this is state of the art armor after all.  Made according to standard manufacturing protocol, this is the best armor credits can buy in case you’ve forgotten” Piped up Kad

“W-what he said” Assented Fixer

“Disregard poison, acquire highness.” Scorch piped up

“Scorch, what the hell is that even supposed to mean?” Responded Farshot

“It means I’m getting baked off this shit!”

“You’re going to smoke the mysterious alien blue flower like you would some cannabis?”  Misha asked, before remembering that Scorch does what he does and that trying to reason with him was like trying to reason with a baboon.

“Foshaw”

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Meanwhile-Canterlot

Rex and Luna had walked into her private chamber and Rex had decided to initiate the conversation.

 “Well Princess, I must say, I didn’t think you would even consider doing this.”

Luna made her way next to her bed and sat down; she took off her shoes and said.

“We were hoping to make this as pleasurable as possible” She said as she licked her lips, a wanting look clear in her eyes.

 “Oh, I’ve been wanting to do this for quite some time now”  Rex said as he advanced slowly towards Luna, making certain to kick the door closed behind himself as he slowly made his way to her bed.

 As Rex sat in front of Luna, she immediately pounced on it, holding it in front of her, she began squeezing and rubbing it with her magic.  Rex was struggling to keep up, unable to use magic yet, he began using his hooves.  Soon, with a few strokes of his own, he found the white substance slowly seeping out.  Rex, seeing victory on the horizon, doubled his efforts and began stroking even harder.  Luna being ever vigilant, noticed the white substance seeping from the tip, and slowly began to lick it off.  She quickly pulled away to savor the taste.

 “This never gets old; I wonder how much longer thou can last against us?” She said, smirking as she went back to licking the tip.

 Rex began sweating, he could see that he was coming close to finishing, so, with one final push and a grunt, Rex fired they white substance onto Luna, covering a good part of her face and upper torso.  Luna licked at the sides of her mouth and giggled.

 “It has been a long time since we have had a chance to do that.  We have asked the guards to do it with us multiple times, but they never do, they always say that it would go against the oaths they took when they first enlisted.”  She looked dejected as she said the last part.

 “Relax Princess, I’m here now, and I’ll help you with that anytime you want” Rex said as he brushed some of the creamy white substance off of her face, looking into here green eyes while slowly lifting her chin up with his hoof.  “If you want, I could even get my brother Blackstar to join us next time.  I wonder how you’ll be able to hold up against two stallions at the same time?  Maybe we can even get your sister to join in!”  Luna brightened up at the first part, but her face took a rosy tint at the last statement.  She held her face in her hooves to hide the growing blush that was ever so present.

“Oh, this is so embarrassing!”  She cried out

“Relax Princess, it’s just a little bit of fun, everyone needs to have some fun every once in a while, it relieves stress and keeps us sane.”

“So you’ll really do this with us whenever we want?”  Luna asked as her voice took a pleading tone.

“So long as I’m not busy working, sure!” Rex said as a big grin spread across his face.

“Hey, ready for round two?” He asked

 “So soon?” Luna gasped “But thou just finished up mere moments ago!”

 “Princess, in my field of work, you’ve got to have endurance.  You’ve got to be able to last as long as you’re needed.  During my travels with my brothers, we’d occasionally do things like this too.  You’ve got to have a LOT of stamina if you want to keep up with them.  It’s funny because it was usually my younger brother; we nicknamed him Scorch, who usually initiated these kinds of things.  Oh, but what about the magic lessons Princess?"

 Luna smirked as she said  “Why don’t we start learning here and now?”

 She then levitated Rex next to her, and took the source of the cream still just as stiff as before, and levitated the tip into her mouth, slowly sucking all of the cream out.  As she pulled away, a little bit of the cream squirted out and landed next to her eye.  She giggled as she wiped it away with her hoof and licked it off.

" These cream rolls are always so messy to play with, I suppose that this is why sister never wants to play with me.  Okay Blue Cross, to levitate the cream roll, just imagine it floating, imagine a force, slowly pushing the cream roll up."

Rex complied, he concentrated and focused solely on levitating the cream roll.  He was so focused on levitating the cream roll that he didn't notice it beginning to float.  He opened his eyes to see the roll floating in midair, surrounded by a red aura.  In his surprise, he jumped and applied a little more force on the cream roll, crushing it, and shooting a little more cream onto Luna.  Luna only smiled as she took her hoof once again, and used it to wipe cream off of her face.

"Princess!  I did it!"  Rex cheered 'even though this should be scientifically impossible' he thought, the smile on his face genuine at the thought of being able to study a new field of science.

"Blue Cross?" Luna called. "What other foods did thou and thine brethren use in these food-games that thou played?"

"Well Princess, we usually just used whatever was at hand.  Sometimes it was cakes, sometimes pies, cream rolls were a favorite, salads and soup were pretty common too."

Luna gasped at 'soup'.  "Soup?!  But did that not hurt?"

"Princess, when you live with seven other brothers, a hot bowl of soup to the head will be the least of your worries.". He said with a cocky smile.  Luna in turn took a smile of her own and called for a servant.

"Let us see what there is to all this variety that thou uses"

The servant walked into the room, he was a proper looking, aged  gray stallion with a white mane and imperial mustache.

"What is it that you require, Princess?". He asked

"Fancy Etiquette, we require a dozen pies and cakes."

"What type Princess?   We have a plethora of cakes and pies at the castle, we do only have the finest chefs in Equestria after all."

"Princess"  Rex whispered into her ear "If I may make a suggestion, chocolate is usually the messiest, especially in pies, so I would recommend chocolate custard pies and chocolate cake, oh, but Princess?  Could you please not ask for soup?  I'd rather not be arrested for treason during the first day on the job."

Luna grinned "We would like chocolate custard pies and chocolate cake."  She said  to Fancy Etiquette

"At once milady". Came the response "But Princess, you do realize that eating that many pastries is rather unhealthy?"

Luna merely raised an eyebrow and the servant left the room.  Fancy Etiquette returned a few moments later with a tray laden with pies and cakes and promptly left after Luna dismissed him.

"Now then, where were we?" She asked

"Princess, with all due respect, don't you think that we should begin learning magic?  After all, I will have to go to work tomorrow, and learning as much magic as I can will be useful."  Rex responded

"Blue Cross, do you not think that we didn't know this?  Thou said that thou works best under pressure, so, we are going to throw these pastries at thou.  Thou, must now not only catch them, but thou must throw them back at us.  These are heavier than cream rolls, and they will be thrown at thou, so this will be a bit more challenging than what thou just did."

"I'm always up for a challenge princess."

For hours they dueled, Luna throwing pastries at Rex, and Rex, returning them in full force.  Rex, believing Luna to be a mere princess who had been pampered her whole life made the mistake of underestimating her.  He quickly regretted his actions when he took a custard pie to the face.

"Oooh You're going to regret that Princess." Rex  said as he wiped chocolate custard off his face with a hoof.

He began spinning the pastries as he threw them, causing the pies to curve as they were thrown, enabling him to hit Luna's sides and blind spots.  They were so engrossed in their game that they didn't notice how much time had passed.  They were interrupted by the sound of a door slamming open.

Meanwhile, above the forest near Canterlot-a few hours ago

"So Blackstar"  The white alicorn began "Do you have any other family?"

Sev smirked as he said "Princess, I probably have the strangest family known to pony-kind."

Celestia smiled as she said "Oh really?  I've seen quite a few strange families during my time as ruler of Equestria."

"Princess, I can assure you, probably none of them are as strange as mine.  Some might come close, but none of them could probably match our strangeness.  But to answer your first question, I have seven other brothers."

Celestia shocked to say the least at the rather large number, and this was evident when she faltered in her flight for a moment but quickly caught herself.

"That is a rather large family, but that doesn't necessarily make them stranger."  She said

"If only you knew Princess."

A few hours later, they returned to Canterlot Castle.  Celestia walked up to a nearby guard and asked him if he had seen Luna.  She received the rather startling response that she had locked herself in her room for a few hours with 'Blue Cross'.  They promptly made their way to Luna's room and Sev waggled his eyebrows as he asked

"So Princess, what do you think they've been doing all this time?"

"Blackstar, that is hardly appropriate"  Celestia chided.

Upon reaching the door, Celestia tried opening it with her magic, however, when they found that the door would not open, Celestia threw the door open with her magic, causing it to slam against the wall.  They were greeted by a strange sight.  The room was covered in chocolate custard and what looked like pieces of cake.

Author's note

So I this chapter is a bit shorter than the others but that's because I wanted to make this chapter a bit more comedy oriented than the others rather than serious.  Don't worry though, shit gets serious within one or two chapters.  But the question from last chapter still remains,  In one or two chapters, Zeta Squad will arrive in Ponyville, do you think they should take a stealthy approach?  Leave your response in the comments section.  And, as usual, feedback would be much appreciated.