Snow Job.

by overlord-flinx

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, DJ P0N-3, Human, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Other, Romance, Octavia, Sex
Length: 5446

Before two worlds became one; before one home was made their own; they still had so many possibilities. It was their differences that led them here and kept them together.

A year before Vinyl Scratch and Octavia moved in together, they went on a "couple's vacation". There was arguing, bickering, loving, and caring. What else would you come to expect from two deeply in love women? Even before they knew they were truly in love... This time together on their vacation perhaps would define their relationship and the tribulations it held.

Prequel to If I Could Rearrange The Alphabet...

Humanized ponies; for your own future information.

A story told primarily in first person and third person alternating with cues.

Published 2013-10-25 21:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-15 03:25:40 UTC

Chapter One (Vinyl/Octavia POV): It's beginning to look~~

It's beginning to look a lot like Hearth's Warm~~~! Oh, brr I'm so cold~~. Looky here and there, I see nothin' but snow around~~. Eh... I ain't much of a singer. But, man! Look at all that snow out there! I swear I just saw one of those CMC girls her swallowed by a snowdrift! I'd call the cops but -you know- I said I "swore" I saw one. Swearing and being sure are two totally different things, you know? Oh well. I'm sure they'll be alright anyway. I mean, It's not like anyone's ever been killed by snow, right?

...Anyway, let's get off the creepy stomach twisting stuff. It's almost Hearth's Warm! That's something to celebrate about, am I right? I just -MMMM!- I LOVE Hearth's Warm! The presents, the nog, the mistletoe, the nog, sitting on ol' man Santa's lap, the nog, sledding down some bumpy hill, baking fruit cake... What? Do I like doing all of that? HELL NO! Except the nog. Vinyl loves herself some nog. No. Octavia REALLY gets into the holidays. Hearth's Warming more than any other. To this day, I haven't had the heart to tell her there's no Santa... It'd break her already frozen heart. HAH!

I'm kidding. Really. Octavia has a really warm heart... on the holiday's at least. I would kill to just have a framed picture of her smile when she first starts untangling the Hearth's Warming lights. You ever see a kid break open the cookie jar and not get in trouble for it? That's her face! Complete joy! It's something of magic... And I don't say that often. If I did, I'd be working at a greeting card factory... And I'm pretty sure they get lousy hours. I mean, what? People love greeting cards, you know? You'd think they need to keep working pretty much twenty-four-seven. They probably don't get holidays off either. Think about it. That's when you need cards most... God... Glad I don't work in a greeting card factory...

Where was I? Uh, sorry about that. Heh. I went off on a little adventure there. I'm back. So... Yeah... Octavia loves the holidays and gets really into it. You know, I probably wouldn't even be dating her today if it wasn't for her superstitious mania for holidays. But... Yeah... I'll tell you that story some other time. It's sort of a long one. I'd have to go into this whole thing about notes and me trying to trick her into some stuff; it's a mess. Remind me later sometime to tell you. It's actually a pretty cool story.

So, since I've got you... I'll let you in on a little secret. Just between you and me... Octavia and I are heading up north for a vacation. Pretty cool, right? But that's not the only cool part... I'm gonna put the moves on her for real this time. We've been playing cat and larger cat for almost two years now... I think we're ready. This will be the weekend! We're movin' up! Make way Santa, Vinyl's filling the stockings this year!

...I better not lead with that line... That one was just horrible...

It's beginning to look a lot like Hearth's Warm~~. My, it's getting cold~~. I can dance in the snow, while flakes are falling down~~. All month long~~. Hm-heh-heh-heh! Ahh... Hearth's Warming... Is it not the most glorious and peaceful time of the year. Well... Peaceful as long as you remain away from the mall, any sort of shopping area, and the grocery store... I nearly had my hair ripped from my scalp when I last tried to get a pheasant the year before. Surprisingly, you will find a middle-age woman possesses a fair bit of strength when she finds cause to attack. Regardless of that and a few other minor issues I have, I would never blame the holiday for that. Some people just can't control themselves.

That's why I take it upon myself to thoroughly enjoy the holiday as it was intended to be enjoyed. With family, friends, jubilation, elves, Santa, his reindeer, and being perfectly nice so as not to find coal in your stocking. However, Mr. Claus is a highly forgiving man... How else would Vinyl never get coal or a potato every year? Perhaps he neglects to check his list twice... I'll write him on the matter next year around. I don't mean to say Vinyl should not receive any gifts. Far from it. I only mean that perhaps one year of coal would swing her towards the direction of being a more civil woman.

...I know what you're thinking. I am far too old to believe in Santa, correct? I'll have you know that I possess hard evidence proving his existence. Who else but Santa would know what I want ever year? Who else but the jolly man would be able to get into my house and leave me gifts without me noticing? And furthermore...! Who do you think is the man in the mall every year letting children sit on his lap? I rest my case... Besides, only Santa would allow a grown woman like me sit in his lap in public. It's absurdly ridiculous to even consider much different.

But, allow us to move off of this topic. At this moment I have something a bit more pressing on my mind. It... Eh-hem... It would seem that I will not be spending Hearth's Warming here at home with my family. I have been invited and have accepted to head north to a resort for the weekend with Vinyl Scratch. My... My close personal friend. Sorry... I mean my girlfriend. Apologies, it's still something very new to me. Even after two years, I find it hard to believe it. My parents believed it even less. They at first thought it was an act of rebellion when I brought her home... It certainly wasn't, I assure you. I... I deeply care about this woman.

That's why I want to go on vacation with her. I sincerely and secretly wish to test Vinyl on a few levels. Away from the binds of urban society, I wish to see how Vinyl Scratch will really act around me... It's perfectly natural to test the levels of relationship's like this. Nonetheless, I have to know on a deeper level what sort of relationship Vinyl seeks from me... I know what I want... And I want her to want the same...

...God, please let her want the same... I should have wrote that down for Santa. I have written him three times a year. I believe I'm due for at least one miracle from him.

Chapter Two: Pack It Up, and Roll it Out.

The road ahead was long... It was cold... And it was unforgiving... But, it was nothing a van filled with suitcases, snack-packs, and travel blankets couldn't handle. Early on in the morning, Vinyl and Octavia spent the better part of it deciding on what to bring on their trip and getting into arguments over what they didn't need to bring. More-so, what Vinyl didn't need to bring. Yet, such is the curse of the first vacation with someone: differing opinions on what was needed. Vinyl had her ideas, Octavia had her own. Even the choice of vehicle fell onto a winded debate.

Octavia suggested they travel with Vinyl's jeep, given that its tires were more suited for any snowfall covered roads they may come across. Vinyl on the other hand voted on taking a bus up to their destination. Why? In the case that something bad might happen, they could rob one of the other passengers for their phone. Also, because it saved on paying for gas for them. The argument on that point went for a good while, though Octavia beat Vinyl out with the aid of the "rock-paper-scissors" method. A crude method, but one that Vinyl would always adhere to. That aside, the two locked horns moments later when deciding on what they should bring.

"But we could totally need it!" Vinyl argued this way.

"There's no practical purpose for it!" Octavia would fire back that way.

"It's a crucial element for any vacation!" Octavia protested.

"Then let me bring my sack!" Vinyl would retry.

Again and again, the two bickered and fought over this and that. One would put something into the van, only to find it out of the van the second they looked the other way. After awhile of the exchanging of blows between one another, even Vinyl started to get a little hot under the collar. For all purposes, the stop of their first vacation together was not off to a great start. However, a moment came where their bickering came to a sudden halt and their attention was brought to the car radio left to play holiday songs while they worked. The music had died-down to a subtle musical backdrop while a voice cued in over it.

"Happy Holidays to all you early morning birds out there. This is your holiday host, RD, coming at you live from the studio. I wanted to turn down the music and level with all of you out there. Here to help me with that is my really good friend, Shy."

"Nice to be here with you, RD."

"Same to you. So tell me, Shy, what was it you and me were talking about when the last song was playing? I was really into it, and I think our listeners will be into it to."

"Yes, well, I was telling you about all the cars I saw parked outside the High School when I came in today. I remembered that the High School was putting on a cultural fair today. So... I just thought that was so special..."

"'So special', what do you mean?"

"Well... A lot of people went to show up for it, yes? So... That shows a lot of people -maybe of a lot of different cultures- wanted to go under the same roof and spend a part of this special holiday season -not with family and friends- but with someone they don't know anything about. The holidays, no matter what you believe in, are a time to value spiritual exchanges like that."

"I hear that. But what about everyone out there listening to this show right now? They aren't at this cultural fair, right? Are they missing out on this 'valued spiritual exchange'?"

"Heavens, no! People listening to this show right now are most likely in their car or sitting at home with loved ones. As much as getting to know something you don't know already is a great thing, I don't think there can be anything more beautiful than sharing these precious moments with someone you care deeply about. If you're at home hearing this, I hope you're curled up next to the fire with family and friends nearby. If you're in the car, I can hope you're looking over at the person sitting next to you and knowing this drive is all worth it."

Both Vinyl and Octavia softly looked at the other, argumentative frustration dwindled away into just somber frowns. They couldn't read each other's mind, but they knew they felt the exact same way right at that moment. They felt like real fools arguing on their first real time spent together... Vinyl offered Octavia a sided smile and put her hand against the other girl's back, patting it and snickering a little. Octavia too started to laugh and went to fill the trunk of the van with as much of Vinyl's strange curios as she could while Vinyl organized out the front for her friend. They shared not a single word, only the occasional glance over to the other followed by a moment of a chuckle.

"I'm with you on that, Shy. Right now, I'm here in the studio with a time-weathered friend right with me. Not even Christmas yet, and I'm already feeling the warm of the season deep inside me."

"I feel the same way, RD. Thank you for having me on this morning."

"No. Thank you for coming. And -hey- why don't you stay for the next few days? Could be fun mixing out the New Year with you. What do you say?"

"I say, 'put some Jingle-Bells on and let the holidays begin'."

"Can do, will do, and already done. Tune on later all you Holiday crazed kids out there. RD and Shy will be bringing the holiday feel to you all weekend long."

Chapter Three: (Vinyl/Octavia POV): Pa Rum Pum Pum Pum~~.

Alrighty... Six hours until we're there. Cool-cool. No problem there... Damn, she looks beautiful... FOCUS! Focus on the road, Vinyl! Focus on anything but Tavi's fine curved body... And stop thinking it's fine and curved! But it is... I know it is. Then why are you saying stop thinking that? Because we're supposed to be setting ourselves up for a good example and shaz this weekend. So we're supposed to ignore that Octavia's really hot? Yes--No!--I mean--Stop tripping me up inner Vinyl!

Ugh... There's just no winning with that girl... The girl's hardheaded. Doesn't get it from me... Or does she? Do you have control over what your inner voice's persona's like? These are the questions that keep me up at night. Just like the question if Tavi left her bedroom door open or if there's any bananas in the fridge left. Tavi never buys any bananas for me. Why? Because she doesn't like the way I use them. But really, what else are you supposed to do with bananas other than freezing them and using them as makeshift hammers? I saw it on the science channel once; it really works. But, no, she won't get any more since I hammered all the nails in the apartment with a banana.

Tavi has no imagination at all! Everything's gotta be spick-and-span, righty-tighty, deck-the-halls, and completely in order... Buuuuut... That is a little fun sometimes. I mean, have you ever seen an organization junkie when you put something out of place without them noticing?

"Vinyl? Vinyl? Where's the vase?" What vase? "The vase in the living room." We don't have a vase in the living room. "Do not play coy with me. There was a little blue vase right between the porcelain elephant and the egg carved from jade." That spot was always empty. Remember? "No it wasn't! There was a vase right there!"

Next thing you know, she's ripping apart the house looking for a vase. Here's a hint, I put the vase behind the elephant. I told her, don't worry... I just told her about twenty minutes after she was beat and panting on the kitchen floor in a curled up ball. A form of Octavia I now call "The Cray Ball". Ah... She's always fun to mess around with. It's part of why I'm really into her. That's why this weekend has to go perfectly. I need to show her that I'm not just some messy slob with a heart of gold and great beats... I also need to show her I'm a messy slob with a heart of gold and great beats that she loves.

With her sleeping right now, it gives me plenty of thinking time to put a plan together. This must be the greatest plan in all my life. No plan before it or after must ever come close in complexity and perfection... I might need some paper for this...

Dulcet in the pure mellifluousness of the oft tone I hear playing softly from Vinyl's radio. As I recall, that "Dash and Shy" pair are still playing Christmas songs. I honestly do not care for "road talk shows", but these two seem to understand the gravity of the season. Very few do these days. Cooperate pandering seems to be the largest tumor in the vanes of these Holiday seasons. It sickens me to the core. However, when I hear caroling and the words of people that truly understand the meaning of the Holidays, I find my hope.

I will tell you now that hope is something I rarely find. I don't exactly have a dreary outlook on the world, but hope is and should be hard to find in yourself. Logic and reason should always be the template to which you should resolve the reasons of the world around you. If you don't understand that... You will someday, I'm sure. Moving on, it's the holidays that just make me shake with joy and hope. I do so very much love it. Every memory of the holidays I have bring me cheer. But... There is one in particular I remember very well. Perhaps one of my most cherished memories.

Allow me to explain. You see, Vinyl and have been dating for... For some time... Eh-hem. Yes. About two years ago, we attended to my usual task of speaking to Santa Claus at the mall. I remember to write him once a month, of course. But those are merely letters of a cordial nature. Mr. Claus is far too busy and overworked to look at my wish list every year, so I write him motivational letters as well as letters asking him about his day. I only tell him what I want for Christmas at the mall. It's much more personal and upfront. It spares the jolly old man a break from the greedy people he usually gets wishes from.

Where was I again? Sorry. Yes, well, we were going to see Santa. I waited in line with all of the other children... Granted, I did throw one child out of line when I saw him looking at a watch. You do not rush Santa or question his time between the lucky souls he takes time out of the day to listen to. That is both shameful and disrespectful! It was roughly an hour before Vinyl and I reached our turn to see Santa. Alas, we got up front right when the mall was closing. I was crestfallen to be sure, but Santa has his business to attend to. I had planned to just wait until tomorrow... Vinyl did not have any such plans.

"WHOA! Oh no you don't! You're gonna get this fancy velvet rope out of our way, because my friend here's been waiting all day to see Santa Claus. Not even that though. Look at all the kids behind us. They have wishes to make. They could've begged and whined at their parents to buy them toys. We're in a frickin' mall! And you know what? They wanted to see Santa. They wanted to sit on his jolly old lap, talk in his jolly old ear, and rub his jolly old belly. And you're gonna rub us of that? No! You take this rope down, let us sit on Santa's lap, and enjoy some goddamn Christmas cheer before I jump this fence and shove Comet and Cupid up your crack. Oh-ho, and you don't even wanna know what I'll do with Rudolf!"

...Would you believe that the handler at the time opened up the line and allowed everyone to go through? The mall stayed open an extra hour so Santa could hear all the wishes. As usual though, I just asked what I ask every year since I was ten... As well as a few selfish wishes for being such a good girl this year. I was indebted to Vinyl for that. I know she doesn't much care for the Christmas holidays and only goes with it to make me happy. How do I know that? Because shortly after that little tirade she had with the handler, they told her she could see Santa first. Her response?

"Fuck no. I'm Jewish."

Chapter Four: What're you in for?

Wedged within the icy clutch of several distinct mountains was a renowned ski resort. Families and couples from all around would travel hours--even days--to reach this near remote resort. The grounds themselves were nothing far from a little slice of rustic heaven when people simply saw it. Chairlifts and cable-cars connected the main lodging area in the center of the resort to all of the sections spread out across the rolling mountains and hills. Even from a distance, coming up over the first hill leading to the main lodge, one could see all of the bustling resort guests skiing or riding in the passing cable-cars no matter the time of day. That was the first sight Vinyl was given as their van passed through the gates, entering into the grounds.

Once Vinyl had parked the car and took the time to nudge Octavia awake from the long drive, the two of them took their luggage out from the trunk. The company of children laughing, adults screaming down the slopes, and the van's radio blaring the same talk-show they had running all along the trip made for the background sounds as they managed out how they would move all their luggage in one trip.

"Pull up your parkas and dish out some CNS; It's time for RD and Shy to hit you all up again with some holiday how-to's. I'm your winter-time, road-wise host, RD. Joining me for this long holiday, I'd like to introduce my partner Shy."

"Um... RD? Didn't we already introduce ourselves about six hours ago?"

"Yeah. But who would've stayed tuned in for six hours straight? We're introducing ourselves to our new mid-day audience. Say 'hi', Shy."

"Oh. Well... Hello, listeners."

"And a special 'hello' goes out to all of the skiers, sledders, and chillers at this radio station's number one sponsor--Glaciem Lodge and Resort. A place where the most elite of winter sports athletes go to shred."

"It's also well known as a hot-spot for families to spend a hot summer."

"Never gets hot around there. Making for the most excellent boarding conditions year round. Now, while I'm at it, I'd like to remind everyone out there that this endorsement is not in any way being forced by our sponsor. Even if they weren't our sponsor, I would promote the hell out of it. It's a great place for athletes, family, friends--"

"And, if you look into any of the latest dating magazines, it's also rated in the top five 'snuggle spots' for new lovers."

"Wow, really? Well, I guess it is pretty cozy up there. I can see how--Hold on a sec. Since when do you read dating magazines?"

"Oh, well, I... I-I'm interested in dating, I'll have you know. Maybe I was looking up somewhere to pick up a significant other..."

"Hm. Didn't know that. You hear that listeners? Shy is looking for someone you wedge a shlong in her slot. Call 555-327-4-749 to see if your wang fits her wing."

"DASH!"

"I'm just playing. And speaking of playing, we have a request to play an old holiday classic. So, sit back everyone and stick with us as we listen to more holiday music and wait for horny guys to call Shy."

The music and conversations that followed after were played elsewhere but Vinyl's van as she and Octavia trudged their luggage through the parking lot, at last content with how they would get all their luggage there in one go. Octavia paced ahead of Vinyl with ease, leaving Vinyl to shoulder every bag they both brought with her hands, shoulders, and teeth. The walk was not too great from the van to the lodge; just long enough to leave Vinyl with just enough energy to get through the front door before finally collapsing. The moment her girlfriend hit the ground, Octavia brought a cart over to Vinyl's sprawled out form and worked to place each piece of luggage on. "Vinyl," Octavia called the DJ to attention, "Perhaps you should go check us in while I keep an eye on our bags."

Vinyl, drained and beaten from carrying every bag on her will alone offered not a word of objection as she peeled herself from the floor and wobbled herself over to the front desk. Octavia made the final few adjustments to their luggage cart, making sure everything was perfectly set and stacked without a flaw. When she was through grading over her work, she finally took a moment to digest the sights around her. The interior of the resort was spectacular. Tapestries hung from the ceiling of deer, bears, and all sort of tundra wildlife. Stuffed animals lining halls with mounted heads over a single fireplace crackling with fresh yule logs. Octavia took a warm whiff of it all in, rolling her luggage cart behind her and taking a seat in front of the fireplace.

As she sat herself down and enjoyed the rustic atmosphere around her--a welcome change from Vinyl's coffee ingrained scented van--she took notice to Vinyl talking to one of the clerks at the welcome desk. From where she was sitting, Octavia couldn't make out a word they were saying, but from the fact Vinyl wasn't jumping over the counter, it was going better then what she expected. Vinyl jumping the counter? The image made for a sly smile on Octavia's face.

"...I'm guessing the blue haired girl's with you?" Octavia's attention was broken from watching Vinyl and swiftly spun around to look at a girl she hadn't even noticed sitting next to her.

The girl was sporting a thick, brown ushanka and snow powdered parka; a rather disheveled appearance overall. But she was also smiling widely--cheek to cheek--as Octavia met her eyes. Octavia hadn't even noticed that she took a seat next to her and immediately moved to stand up with an apologetic bow. "I'm very sorry. I didn't notice you were sitting here. I'll move," Octavia excused herself, only to get a wave off from the girl.

"No, no, don't beat yourself over it," the girl chuckled a bit as she moved a bit further down the couch, making more room for Octavia, "I really just blend into the background sometimes. People hardly notice me at all. And the people that do? Well, they really kinda take a liking to me."

Clearly by the intent look the girl was giving her Octavia wasn't going to get a chance to move to a new waiting spot. With a reserved sigh she sat back down and gave her seated companion a smile. "Brazen statement," Octavia commented.

"Yeah, sure. But you're still talking to me. At the very least, I haven't put too bad of an impression on you," the girl smirked and put out a hand, "The name's Lyra Heartstrings. Snowboarder extraordinaire."

Octavia looked at the offered hand for a second, considering her options. Before she knew it, she took Lyra's hand and shook it gingerly. "I'm Octavia."

Chapter Five: (Lyra POV): Oh what fun it is to ride and sing~~.

The world is cruel... The world is wicked... There is no one to whom you may trust; not the ones who feed you, dress you, bathe you, or love you. Everyone just wants something from you or something for you to do for them. Because the world is cruel... The world is wicked... It's you alone who you can trust in the entire world. And even you secretly want to hurt yourself. It's only human nature to. Self loathing. It's what we all feel deep down. Deep, deep, deep down...

...SNORE...! Blah-blah-BLA-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AH! Blah with a big ol' floppin' tongue wraggling between your lips. Now I didn't say wiggling or wagging; I said wraggling. It's when your tongue wragles. Give it a try. BLAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-LAH-LAH! Now you're wraggling! And wraggling your floppy tongue is exactly what you should do to snore-bore talk like this. SNORE! Snore with a piggy-pig snort and a finger against your nose to crinkle for the effect. It's just boring. B to the O-R-N-G. But people THINK like that, can you believe it? Such a waste of perfectly good life!

I mean... Why look at the world so flat and black? Why not -woopsidoodle!- flip on your nog, kick up your legs, and stand on the sky? Look at the world how aliens do! Upside down and inside out if you can manage it. I haven't mastered inside out just yet, but I can bet a silver doll-hair that the world will look even more amazing like that! Now, take a itty-bitty leap back. I don't believe in aliens, that was one of them figurements of speech! But could you just imagine if there were aliens? I'd bet they would live off of trees. So cools...

Buuuuut! Enough with the chitty-chatty-bang-bang; my name is Lyra Heartstrings, and I love mu~~~~~sic~~~~! And I love parkas, socks and saddles, horses, butter on the bottom, green eggs with my green ham, boiled goose, being an adult, setting fires, lifting, and most of all...! Sleeping. I mean, I sleep hard. I can sleep like you wouldn't believe. In preschool, all the other kids would get toys so they'd behave during nap time; but not me. Know why? Because Lyra was already snuggled under the Huggy Castle in her sleeping bag like a caterpillar! I can sleep like a CHAMP. Out like a light in ten seconds flat. Out in zero if you slip me a cup of hot coco moo.

There I go again. URGH! Yak-yak-yak! I just can't stop sometimes. When I get rolling, I just keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. What? Just keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. Yeah. That's me. Talking a million miles a minute without a care in the world. My gal-pal Bon says I'm a real chatter box... And that I need to stop eating all of the crackers without throwing out the box. What I want to know is how does she know I'm the one eating out of the box? She's got -like- ten sisters! They could be doing it! Eh, whatever's clever. And that's Bon for you, always so damn clever.

Me? Nah! I'm not clever; I'm crafty. Crafty like a fox or Craft Mac and Cheese... Real craft... Or daft. I mix the two up. Can you really blame me? Daft, craft, daft, craft, daft, craft, daft, craft, daft, raft, daft, craft. See? I even snuck a third word in there and you didn't notice! I'm that crafty. Like the wind... WooOOoooOOoooOOoo crafty~~~~~. You can't see, but I'm waving my arms out like a ghost right now to show you how crafty I am. I think it's freaking out this girl I just met. Octavia's her name; but you know that, don't you? You're one of those magic elves that listen in on the mind and watch as the world goes by. I like to think I'm sort of like that myself.

Even now, I'm watching everyone around me right now in this check-in spotty-thing. Octavia's here with a girl that's got some freaky blue hair. I mean... My hair's kinda toothpaste green, so we're even on the oddball depot. But, my hair is silky and glistens in the morning glow like all the ads say it should. Her's looks crusty... Good color though. Two thumbs up! So, Octavia is clearly with her. She's looking at the back of the girl's head, whenever she makes a move Octavia makes a little twitch, and Octavia's bags match the nappy-nap sack hoisted around blue-hair's shoulder! Either they're together, or Octavia's one of those kinky voyeurs...

Nah. If she was, she'd be lookin' at my piggies. I like to take the liberty when I can for any place's shoe policy. If I see there's no rule about having to wear shoes on the property, you best be believing my piggies will be oinking free! Unless Bon's around... She makes me wear my shoes and dress normal when she's hanging over me like a storm cloud. Buuuuut... Bon's not here, is she? Nope! It's Lyra's free snowboard fun weekend! Buuuuut... I guess I'll put on some saddles and socks before I hit the slopes... Frostbite hurts! I should know. I once had frostbite over my ENTIRE front. From toes to tip, red blisters and frostbite. How? I went sledding like a penguin down a ski slope...

It was really fun! Well worth the three months in the ER.

But, now I'm here alone to board the trails and shred the powder, bra. Yolo-swag-four-twenty-just-blaze-cabbage, Brostradomus. Yeah... But- hmmm... Maybe I'll keep a little third-eye-blind on these two, yeah? Snowboarding's fun, but watching two lovey-dovey's trip over each other WHILE I snowboard can be way more fun! OH! The fun of this weekend has been doubled!