The adventures of sluttiest horse

by TAW

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other
Length: 2329

Sometimes we get bored

Because sometimes we get bored and decide to write something entirely for shits and giggles that has no real value or purpose. Because sometimes absurdly slutty horses don't get their own way, and sometimes it really wasn't worth getting out of bed that morning. Because sometimes, the best laid plans of mice and mares don't actually lead to them getting laid.

Published 2012-03-05 03:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-05 03:04:02 UTC

I have no idea.

The adventures of Sluthooves

Sluthooves opened her eyes with a grin. Today was going to be a good day. Today was, in fact, going to be a very good day.

Today was Sluthooves' birthday. Her zeroth birthday. Symbolically. Every day was the first day of the rest of your life, they said, and she'd taken that literally. Her former name was meaningless, her former occupation was irrelevant. Who she was before didn't matter any longer, for she had chosen a new identity.

Sluthooves had always been slightly unhappy with her lot. Her job never made her as happy as everypony else seemed to be, and her friends were never around when she wanted them. Sluthooves had one major passion in life - thick, juicy stallion cocks. Unfortunately, Sluthooves lived in Ponyville, lesbian capitol of the world, and every stallion was both spoken for and faithful. No matter how clear her advances had been, she went home alone every night.

This simply would not do. That was old Sluthooves. New Sluthooves had a plan, and she would not leave unsatisfied. New Sluthooves had a notebook filled with plans. Detailed, juicy plans, complete with diagrams and references. She had some favourites. The one she was going to put into action today was her very favourite. It involved a pillory, a blindfold, a sign denoting exactly what ways anypony may use her (Spoiler: It's all of the ways), and a donation tray. Everypony's gotta eat, after all.

She'd prepared for this day for quite a while, now. Gathering information, materials, resources, and bits. At least without rent she would have fewer outgoings, but leaving her house did mean that she no longer had anywhere to sleep. Having a warm, lonely house to go to at night seemed to defeat the hedonistic ideal she was going for. If Sluthooves was going to do this, she wanted to do it right.

She was still a young mare, and didn't own many things. That made moving out quite painless, she just threw her stuff into a sack and grabbed it in her mouth as she left, locking the door behind her for the last time. Her first steps in her new life. Immediately her thoughts rushed to how awesome her life was going to be - she could see it now:

Sluthooves stirred, twisting slightly against the harsh restraints, bucking against them and testing their strength. The pillory held fast, keeping her stuck in place, unable to move a muscle, save for her tail and tongue. The blindfold covered her eyes, keeping her blind and keeping her at the height of anticipation as she awaited her first delicious meal of the day.

It didn't take long for her first customer to appear, the same as every morning. Sluthooves felt the quickly hardening length push between her lips as her anonymous customer appeared, mounting the apparatus and forcing their member into her mouth. She gladly accepted, happy to be of service and grateful for the attention, grinning as she began to lick and lightly nibble at the tip, taking in his flavour and hearing his gasp. Mmm, salty.

It was Big Mac, no mistaking it. Nopony else tasted quite like that. "Hey, Big Mac", she said, speaking around his generous length, "Come to give me breakfast again?"

"Eeeyup, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" he replied, thrusting more deeply as he spoke, forcing himself inside and past Sluthooves' receptive mouth into her eager throat.

Bracing against her restraints, Sluthooves began to lick along the side of his length as he mercilessly pounded her, each thrust slamming into the back of her throat and sending pleasurable pain spiking through her body. She felt the end of her tail tickle against her neck as it subconciously raised as far as it could go, reaching the heights of arousal she was to spend the rest of the day experiencing.

Sluthooves' favourite thing about Big Mac was his endurance, the way he could keep going for hours, and the way he was always up bright and early to bring her her morning meal. Life couldn't get better than this, she thought, as Big Mac sent punishing slams straight into her throat, filling her mouth with the gorgeous taste of stallion cock and filling her nose with the scent of his own arousal.

She was wrong. Big Mac had brought a friend! Sluthooves felt another pair of hooves push against her back as an unknown stallion mounted her, the second penis pushing against her and teasing her dripping wet vagina into a state of frenzied willingness. "Plushease" she groaned, trying and failing to speak even given the log deep within her mouth. The anonymous pony complied anyway, pushing forward and groaning with the sensation of penetration. Sluthooves felt the red hot heat fill her rear end as the pressure drove her to new heights of pleasure - there was only one pony in Ponyville with that kind of girth, and that was Caramel.

Sluthooves stopped imagining as she reached her first destination, and the first place she needed to be to enact her plan. The only place in Ponyville that would rent pillories. Why the place existed she was unsure, but she was glad it did.

Walking up to the secretary, Sluthooves placed a hoof on the counter and leant in as confidently as she could. "Hey, I'd like to rent a pillory for a few days."

"Mm-hm, name?" the secretary replied, not looking up from her gossip magazine.

"Sluthooves"

The secretary looked up, and lowered her inspirationally uncool glasses with a hoof as she stared. "Sluthooves?" she asked in a deadpan tone.

"At your service!" she replied with a cheesy grin, trying to take her new life-strategy seriously.

The secretary paused for a moment, as if considering whether she should say something, but thought better of it and simply looked back down. A few moments later, she announced "Sorry, we're all out."

"How can you be out? Who hires pillories? How do you even get business?" Sluthooves complained, the start of a tear forming in her eye.

"Sorry, client confidentiality. The best I can do is this rope, sorry." the secretary said, completely unapologetically.

"Okay, fine, how much?"

"30 bits"

"To hire a rope?"

"You don't like it, go elsewhere. I hear there's a lovely place in Manehatten." the secretary smiled, knowing full well they had a monopoly on most hardware anypony would need. Fine, that was fine. 30 bits was steep, but rope would have to do. Rope could still bind her. She'd need help to get into it, but it could still work.

"Fine" she spat, throwing down a painfully large bag of coins and picking up her heartbreakingly small loop of rope in return

Next stop was Ponyville town centre, for the last few materials she needed to construct her den of depravity, her public pit of pony pleasure, her dreamy dungeon of dirty, dark delight, et cetera. Her mind slipped back into imagination as she walked.

Caramel struggled with the ropes binding Sluthooves' body, pushing her forward to get a better angle. Before long, she found herself hanging between his and Big Mac's huge horsecocks, each of her ends hanging from them as she drooled around them from both ends. Her time for concious thought was long past as the two mighty stallions thrust into her, squeezing her between them and filling her from both ends.

The loose bindings on her forehooves loosened and dropped as she was raised from the cold, wooden surface of the town hall's podium by the powerful thrusts of her two benefactors, and she eagerly used her free hooves to begin rubbing and stroking the free parts of Big Mac's impressive length, her hooves becoming sticky with her saliva and his precum as she gleefully rubbed, feeling him begin to relent under her expert touch.

Caramel didn't have as much endurance, but he'd started later. His thrusts were less expertly done, but his enthusiasm was clear, each thrust making up for its lack of subtlety with the force and power put into it. Sluthooves felt trapped in the middle, like a toy between the two powerful men. She liked it.

The constant stimulation was flooding her body with pleasure, just as she wanted, beginning the euphoric high that she lived for. Each double-ended thrust clouded her mind further and sent sparkling waves of pleasure through her willingly slutty form, throwing her face to new heights of ecstasy.

Before long, she reached her first orgasm of the day, the waves of pleasure crashing against her mind and overwhelming her thoughts and emotions as it filled her with mindless bliss, and began the high she would attempt to sustain all day long with constant, enthusiastic, and handsome stallions.

"What do you mean you don't hire out the podium for non-council business?!" Sluthooves shouted, directing her loathing at none other than Mayor Mare, who was halfway through a calm explanation of the town charter, paragraph 16 subsection 4.3b, which clearly stated that the hall podium was only to be used for official matters. "Fluttershy used it to lead an award ceremony for bunnies last week! Twilight Sparkle and Derpy Hooves played chess on it a few days ago! Rainbow Dash sleeps on it ALL THE TIME"

"My now, dear, I don't make the rules. I'm afraid I simply can't make any exceptions, not even for you." Mayor Mare said, rolling up her parchment and walking away.

Sluthooves' plan lay in tatters, each step falling apart after the next. No, it wouldn't end like this. The town hall may be privately owned land, but the rest of the town square was public land, and placing public property on that was absolutely fine. Sluthooves may not have the paperwork yet, but as far as she was concerned, she was already public property, so skirting the law a little was surely fine.

The one thing she had pre-prepared was her sign.

For Sale: One Slutty Horse
0 bits, all you can eat buffet.
Donations accepted and will go to a good cause.
P.S. Needs somewhere to sleep tonight

Sluthooves was proud of her sign. The letters were done in different colours to make it more attractive, and she'd decorated the whole thing with flowers and gemstones. There was surely not a stallion in the land who could resist her charms with that sign sticking into the ground, while her ass stuck up into the air.

Setting up in the middle of the square, Sluthooves jammed the sign into the hard, unyielding ground as well as she could, before turning back and getting into position, starting to tie herself up with her meagre length. Of rope.

Big Mac and Caramel's constant copulation didn't stop as Sluthooves groaned around them, her body rocking in the throes of pleasure as they violated her sensitive form over and over again, her body kept in a constant state of brainless bliss as sheno this wasn't working. Sluthooves whinnied as she threw the rope aside after the third attempt to tie two of her legs together using only her tongue. Useless. Was there anyone around to help?

All of Sluthooves' old friends were here. And Applejack was here too! "Hey, Applejack, mind giving me a hoof?" she called across to Applejack's stall, where she was trying to sell apples. As you'd expect.

"Why, sure thing, what can I do you for?"

"0 bits, read the sign. I need you to tie me up, first, if you'd be so kind"

Applejack was taken aback. This sort of thing didn't usually happen in Ponyville, it was usually strictly child-friendly. It had been an uneventful week, though, with few lessons learned, so standards were clearly getting lax. Shrugging, she figured "why not", and got to work binding Sluthooves as well as she could.

-her body kept in a constant state of brainless bliss as she pushed against them, her hips subconciosuly thrusting backwards and her tongue greedily lapping as her body hungered for more. Her attentions could bring even the strongest stallion to their knees, as her tight, wet slit contracted around Caramel in yet another explosive full-body orgasm, and her tongue whipped and slid against Big Mac's length in another display of her thanks and affection. She felt both of them begin to tense up at the same time - her mind was in no state to think, but her body knew what was coming. It loved this bit.

Both ponies let their loads loose in paralell, shooting Sluthooves full of delicious candy marshmallow horse semen, the thick, sticky strands flowing down her throat and filling up her insides as her throat gladly guzzled it down, swallowing and slurping every drop of that heavenly fluid. Her rear end continued to contract against Caramel, milking him for everything he was worth as his seed spread around inside of her, filling her with the burning hot sensation of millions of active sperm as his semen coated her insides.

She felt her hooves touch the cold dirt below her as the two unceremoniously dropped her, leaving her blubbering in the dirt as her overloaded brain struggled against the unimaginable pleasure while she felt the thick, gooey semen begin to drip out of her behind and dribble over her chin as she was overfilled.

Barely a moment further passed before she felt another set of hooves in front of her, and another behind. Every day was perfect for Sluthooves, and she lived her life doing what she loved.

"So", Sluthooves started, trying to make idle conversation while Applejack finished up the tight knots, "when's Big Mac coming into town?"

"Oh, he ain't gonna be here for a while, he and Caramel are out of town on some Apple seminar" AJ replied, pulling the final knot tight and standing back to appreciate her handiwork.

"I... just... oh, horseapples, I'm going home"