This Isn't At All What I Wanted To Do Today
Doctor Baljeet watched the dimensional portal generator as he waited for the resistance leader’s brothers and some of the other members to come back after saving their pet platypus, while the circle of strange portals remained on the monitor in front of him. He was making sure that nothing would go wrong so the other worldly kids he had met earlier that day would make it safely through.
A loud, constant beeping bounced around the room, the lights overhead turned a warning, deep red color as the monitor glowed the same color on the TV screen. The doctor instantly ran over to the TV and started punching in commands on the keyboard. He looked at the display and saw a huge rip spreading between the worlds, before another world popped out of it, just under two of the normal worlds that were supposed to be there. If his new friends were to use the remote, they would surely fall into the new opening, and into more just like it if the tear opened any more or spread. With that thought in mind, Balgeet went to work on fixing the tear.
Sweet Apple Acres was silent except for the tree leaves occasionally blowing in the wind, carrying the scent of the apples with it, that is until something opened up in the sky…shortly afterward, four forms spilled through it and quickly tumbled down towards the hard earth below.
Or they would if the thing they had fallen through had opened higher than the nearby tree house.
“OW!” one of the creatures proclaimed after they all had hit the ground in a clumped up mess, “Get off of me!”
“Sorry Candace!” another voice cried out, “I can’t…..Ferb could you move your leg forty-three degrees to you’re-” the voice didn’t get to finish as the creatures all sprung apart, each tumbling away in a different direction. The creatures slowly stood back up, their movements sluggish from confusion.
“Alright...this is new. The colors are similar, but it doesn't look like its dangerous. I think were close to-” one of them began, before a high pitched scream stopped him cold.
“Ph-Phineas! What’s happened to you and Ferb?!” Candace asked, staring at them.
“What are you…..” Phineas began, before he looked down at his leg and realized that he had changed. Looking up and around himself, he found that he and everyone else were colorful ponies. He sat down and looked at his body, as his stepbrother, Ferb, sat next to him and did the same.
He looked like he was a small orange colored colt, with the same, if fluffier and a bit longer, mane as his usual hair, the tail being the same length as his mane. He looked over at ferb, whose mane and tail were the same as his usual hair against his green coat.
Candace was trying to stay standing up, unaccustomed to walking on four legs. They were shaking as they were spread apart in four directions for balance. She was a full-grown pony with light yellow fur, a long flowing mane and tail streaked with different shades of orange, her tail just barely brushing the ground. A horn was situated in the middle of her head.
Perry put his hat back on and stared at the other three for a few seconds, before he realized he was looking down at the boys instead of up like he was used to as a platypus and inspected himself. He had sharp orange claws attached to his front legs, and his back legs ended in what he recognized as lion paws. The lion part of his body was his normal blue color, but the feathered, almost fluffy, part that began at his chest and went up his head was a light gray color, the feathers at the top of his head were highlighted orange, just like the tuft of fur at the end of his tail. He noticed a pair of wings attached to his sides, and after a few minutes, figured out how to extend them, the word griffon the only description he could use to identify himself as.
Phineas stood up after finishing his self examination, “This is odd.” he said.
Candace glared at him “You think this is odd, Phineas?” she asked from where she stood. “I had no idea. I think it is completely normal to turn into some sort of talking pony after going through dimensions to escape evil robots made by a pharmacist, it’s a normal day to me!” she exclaimed.
Phineas sighed, before he noticed something on his flank he had overlooked, “I think we might have brands on us,” he said A red wrench was branded proudly into the fur.
Fern had his own brands as well. Ferb had a brown hammer over a wooden board. Perry didn't have anything on his flank.
Cadences stared at him, “A what?” she asked, confused as she looked at her own. “My phone is on my butt. What is that about?”
Phineas shrugged, “I don't know what they mean but,” he looked around with a frown, before he looked up at the rip over his head, “Where is Dr. D?” he asked.
The rip shined a bright white, before something brown fell out and it disappeared with a small pop. Perry watched it, before his mind clicked and realized it was going to fall on his boys, and jumped up and ran towards them, “Watch out!” he yelled, before he shoved them out of the way. Before he could get away himself, the thing fell on him, involuntarily opening his wings and pinning him to the ground as he groaned. He sighed as the weight shifted off of him and something blocked the sun, even when his ears twitched at the sound of something breaking close by.
Cadences stared incredulously at Perry as he slowly stood up, “Did he just talk?” she asked, as he glanced at what had threatened to hurt Phineas and Ferb. It was a pony, to be precise. A full grown chestnut colored pony with a shock of brown mane and tail wearing a lab coat. He didn't have a brand on his flank like the others did, but he did have a horn like Candace.
“That last dimension was not fun at all, all giant bears it was just horrible.” The stallion complained, before stopping, “Everything is so colorful here whats up with that? All color, ponies and hybrid things, why are we ponies anyway how does that make any sense?” he asked, looking at the assembled party. He didn't get an answer, and he didn't really expect one either. Dr. D looked at them all with an amused grin, before Candace rolled her eyes at him and changed the topic.
“Did Perry just talk?” she asked again.
Phineas and Ferb looked at Perry as Candace stared at him, ignoring Doofenshmirtz as he continued to ramble nonsense. Perry, for his part, was just as confused and looked considerably unsure, before he tilted his head slightly, a confused expression etched on his face.
“No?” he said uncertainly, before his eyes widened at hearing his own voice. It sounded reasonably deep with a small but noticeable Australian accent.
“He sounds cute,” Candace said. “What?” "she asked, seeing the looks the others were giving her. “He does.”
“Aw, thats not fair!” Doofenshmirtz complained. “He has a better voice than me AND he’s a platypus, or at least was, and I made a voiceinator before!”
Perry rolled his eyes. “No you didn't.”
“Well maybe I was going to!” Doof retorted.
Candace hit herself in the face with a hoof. “Can we not focus on that please?! We need to get home, Phineas where is the remote?” she asked, turning to face him.
Phineas looked at the ground and around him before turning his attention back up. “I don't know Candace, I had it in my hand...er, I guess now it would be hoof, before.”
"That's fantastic," Candace said sarcastically.
Doofenshmirtz moved and a sharp amount of pain shot up his front leg. He froze, and lifted his hoof to his face. Small metal parts were stuck inside, while the rest of the crushed device were on the ground next to him, “Oh uh...I think I might have...broken it. Woops.”
Candace groaned, “Now what do we do?!” she exclaimed.
“All we need to do is find new parts,” Ferb replied.
Phineas smiled. “Yeah, it can't be too hard!”
Candace frowned. “We can't let other people see us like this Phineas! They would run screaming, or...”
“Attack!!” three small female voices yelled as something came out of the treehouse beside them and jumped on Candace. The weight sent Candace to the ground, while Phineas and Ferb stared. Doofenshmirtz started into a fit of maniacal laughter after Perry fell onto his back after he failed spectacularly at getting into his usual fighting stance due to not calculating the extra weight in his surprise.
Author's Note
I feel like I missed something or a problem wasn't edited out but I don't know what it is.
The portal opened ten feet above in the air, showing a strange landscape behind it as Phineas, Ferb, Candace and Perry fell through in their escape, landing in the grass of a meadow beside a stream just outside a copse of trees. Just high enough to make them tumble into the grass, without much harm done to them, when they didn't immediately come out already at ground level and lost their footing, in a pile on top of each other.
Perry sprang out back onto his feet with relative ease, watching the kids as they tumbled off each other and slowly stood with some small amount of confusion while he fixed his hat back in place. The reason why was clear, they had for some reason turned into ponies, though more colorful then normal. Perry, upon realizing he had grown to be bigger then the two colts his boys had become, looked and saw he had changed as well. Into what he wasn't entirely sure, but he wasn't a pony. He looked back to watch the kids, making sure they were okay, before he figured out his own situation.
Phineas didn't let his new form phase him, instead looking to where the portal ley opened to the last dimension they'd hopped out of, the remote left for the moment in the grass by his hoof, "This is new. I mean it's really cool, the colors are sort of like our own dimension, and it doesn't look dangerous at all since we lost the last of the bots. I think we might be close to-'' he stopped and turned to Candace when she screamed, high pitched and surprised.
“Ph-Phineas! What’s happened to you and Ferb?” Candace asked, staring at them. "Are we ponies now, how did this happen?" she demanded, doing her best to stay standing while unaccustomed to new legs that were spread apart in the grass for better balance as she took in her form. As far as ponies went, she was close to full grown for one, with a long mane and a tail that barely brushed the ground comprised of different shades of orange, fur a nice light yellow that only distracted her for a moment before she glanced up and blinked at the sight of the horn on her forehead, "Are we in some weird unicorn world?"
Phineas looked himself over again, Ferb doing the same as they both considered her questions to figure out for themselves. Phineas's fur was a muted orange color, while his short mane and tail, while fluffier and a bit longer, were the same shade of red as his normal hair. He noted with curiosity that he had some sort of brand on him, a red wrench that he didn't think belonged to any official operation. Ferb's fur was purple like his overalls had been when he was human, with the same green to his mane and tail as his regular hair was. The brand he had was different, a brown hammer over a wooden board, but still just as strange and unofficial as Phineas's own.
"I think me and Ferb are just normal ponies, but you being a unicorn is cool. Do you have a brand too, because that might mean its a normal thing in this dimension?" He suggested.
Candace frowned, "Like a weird dimensional tattoo?" she looked but didn't see anything for a second until something flashed, "Oh! It looks like the patch I got for most fireside girl patches, for some reason? Wait, does this mean I'm owned by your friend, Phineas?"
He looked at Ferb, who shrugged, "I dont think so. I think it's random or something you enjoyed, instead of an ownership thing in this instance."
She sighed, "Oh good." she looked over at Perry and her frown deepened, "Who and what is that?"
He raised an eyebrow and pointed an orange claw at his hat, getting an exasperated eyeroll, "Sorry I don't assume every weird looking animal, in a stupid hat, is what I had thought, until today, was a dumb platypus. What are you even supposed to be now, a bird lion?"
He huffed and looked himself over properly instead of try to argue, noting that the lion part of him encompassed the tail and legs, the brown fur reaching below his front shoulder blades and halfway down his forelegs before shifting to scales, the rest of him covered in teal bird feathers that were almost fluffy at his chest, brown furred front legs with sharp orange claws instead of his normal paws. Odd but good for defense and attack, along with the beak instead of bill. Unlike the tail he had now, that ended in a tuft of orange like the feathers on his head hidden by his hat, that he wouldn't be able to use like his normal tail. It was bendy instead of solid, useful in a different way. He was surprised at the addition of wings on his sides, the same brown as the fur on top with the under feathers appearing to be a sharp teal when he spread them open to inspect.
He shut his wings and turned to Candace, shrugging. He didn't know what he was meant to be either.
"I believe the term for what he might be is a Griffon, some families in Europe have them as their crest, and they appear in several mythologies." Ferb stated helpfully.
Phineas grinned, then looked up at the tear above them, concern flickering in his expression as his hoof prodded absently at the remote in the grass, "Did we lose Dr. D in the last dimension?"
The tear brightened into a sharp white before anyone could respond, and disappeared in a shower of sparks as something dropped out from it. Perry watched it fall, calculating the fall trajectory and barely thought as he moved to push the boys out of the way when he realized it would land on them, "Incoming!" He knocked them out of the way towards Candace, just as the creature fell on him instead and pinned him to the ground, wings outstretched from the harsh jolt and stuck under the brown furred legs of the person who'd fallen on him. He groaned and let his head drop into the grass, huffing an annoyed wheezy breath when the pony rolled off him and stood, blocking the sun from his eyes.
His ears twitched in annoyance as the pony finished rolling and stood up onto his back haunches, thumping the ground a few times with his forelegs as he looked at and seemed to make himself used to his hooves. "This is weird but at least it's not giant bears like the last dimension. That one wasn't fun at all. I just barely escaped it too! And with no help from you, Perry the Platypus, or whatever you are now." he said, looking down at Perry before looking towards the kids. He was a chestnut brown stallion with a horn like Candace, brown mane and tail that looked the same as his hair had been when he was human, lab coat covering his back and obscuring most of his body under it.
“Am I the only one who heard Perry talk?” Candace asked incredulously, still having not moved from where she had first stood, ignoring Doofensmirtz to stare at Perry while he got back onto his feet and shook himself.
Phineas snapped out of the surprise from being moved and stood up straighter, “Can you really talk now Perry?” he asked inquisitively, snapping Doof out of his rambling so that now everyone was watching him.
He looked considerably unsure and confused himself, head cocked in consideration as his expression shifted from unsure to curious at himself, “Yes?” he tested, sounding just as uncertain as he looked before it morphed to genuine surprise at hearing his own voice. He had a small but noticeable Australian accent to the word.
“Aw, thats not fair!” Doofenshmirtz complained. “He has a better voice than me and he’s a platypus, or at least was, and I made a voice-inator before!”
Perry shook his head with an eye roll, “Did not.” he said, quiet and slow as he seemed to assess his own speech.
“Well maybe I was going to!” Doof retorted, before breaking into a delighted smile, "Hey, you can actually talk back to me now when we have conversations! That's great, itll be easier to bond without just me talking and having to guess, your hard to read sometimes.'' The realization pleased him and he moved to stand beside him, getting a decidedly displeased low growl from Perry that he ignored.
Candace hit herself in the face with a hoof, wincing from forgetting it wasnt like her hand and hurt more then she expected. “Alright, we need to get home, can we focus on that please? Phineas where is the remote?” she asked, turning to face him.
Phineas looked at the ground and around him before turning his attention back up. “I don't know Candace, it was in the grass but I’m not sure where it went after Perry pushed me over here.”
"That's fantastic," Candace said sarcastically.
Doofenshmirtz moved and a sharp amount of pain shot up his front leg. He froze, and lifted his hoof to his face. Small metal parts were stuck inside, while the rest of the crushed device was on the ground in half at his feet, “Oh uh...I think I might have...broken it. Woops.” he nervously shook the metal bits out of his hoof, a relieved sigh escaping him when the pain eased. He’d been worried that it was just a thing that was permanent for some reason as he was in the moment.
Candace groaned, “Now what do we do?!” she exclaimed.
“All we need to do is fix it, with a few new parts of course,” Ferb replied.
Phineas smiled. “Yeah, it can't be too hard!”
Candace frowned. “We can't let other people see us like this Phineas! They would run screaming, or...”
Perry turned out of the conversation, instead listening to their surroundings when he heard a rustling among the trees. He glanced over and caught sight of a bush by a tree that shivered as small branches inside snapped under something's weight. Too quiet to hear unless you were listening for it.
He approached it cautiously, aware of the fact he was in a potentially dangerous dimension and would need to protect the others if it came to it, eyes narrowed when the movement suddenly stopped as whatever was inside the bush watched him approach. He crouched to lie in the grass and look in closer once he was in front of it, catching sight of something small and white hidden in the foliage, “Out.” he said, voice more a growl then he meant it to sound at the word.
A squeak answered in return, and he emerged quickly to show himself to be a pinto pony colt, brown spots of color on his white fur, wearing an elaborate costume that included a pirate hat and dull wooden sword, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop, please don’t eat me Mr. Griffon!”
Perry blinked, puzzled by the unexpectedness of seeing a harmless enough foal after all the various dangers of the other dimensions, as well as unsure how to react to the implication that he’d eat a random child because he was snooping. He didn’t know if he should have felt insulted by the presumption or concerned for the foal's safety if that was a common enough concern and he was out in the woods alone .
He didn’t notice Phineas at his side until he spoke, coming over to see what had caught his attention when he’d left with no warning, “It’s okay, he won’t eat you,” he said resurringly, when Perry had been silent too long in thought as he examined the strange pony, and it became visibly clear, if he wasn’t reassured, the colt was going to bolt out of fear. “I’m Phineas, he’s Perry, that's my sister Candace and brother Ferb, and the guy in the lab coat is Dr. D. What’s your name, why were you hiding in a bush?”
The colt jumped and looked away from Perry where he rested in the grass watching him, instead looking between Phineas and the others behind him, “Oh, I was just playing pirate a little ways down the stream, when I saw the sky open up over the trees! I wanted to see what was going on, but then you all fell through and it closed, so I was keeping watch just in case I needed to warn everypony of danger. Spying isn’t something I’m very good at though, but I’m sure I could have escaped and found somepony if it was super bad and dangerous. I’m Pipsqueak, sorry, were you using magic to teleport with a weird new portal spell?”
“It’s a little more complicated then that.” Phineas said, eyes sparkling as soon as the word magic left Pipsqueak's mouth, “We’re actually in a bit of a hurry, do you think you could lead us to the town? We kinda need to borrow some tools and supplies to fix the thing that got us here.”
The colt thought for a second before he nodded, “Oh sure, Ponyville isn't too far at all. Come on, you just gotta follow the stream and you’ll be there super quick.” he explained, stepping around Perry wearily as he turned and ran back the way he’d come.
Candace made a noise of doubt once the colt had vanished, “Were really just going to trust someone we just met, who just happened to be around, in a weird pony dimension?” she asked, suspicious.
“You like ponies.” Ferb pointed out, silently helping fix her stance so she stood comfortably and waited patiently beside her.
She sighed, taking the offer and leaning against his side to help her walk over to everyone else as Perry stood back up, “That was supposed to change today.” she grumbled, watching Doofensmirtz as he blithely disappeared into the trees after the colt, already talking with great interest about something or other.
“It’s alright,” Phineas reassured, as Perry went after the doctor, “We’ll get this fixed fast and get home soon to defeat the robots and evil Dr. Doof doppelganger.” he smiled at her and the three of them left where they’d appeared, following the stream through the trees to where they'd find Ponyville.
Author's Note
So I decided to make a new chapter, instead of get rid of the old one, because of nostalgia for my 14 year old self and her shit combo of purple prose and dumb bullshit. Dont expect this to update very fast or a lot, but ive been on a bit of a phineas and ferb special interest binge. I'm planning for this to be sort of from Perry's POV but also generally third person omniciant. I still hate describing how people look, but i did my best while writing this in barely a few hours, so its whatever.
Surprise, to anyone who has this bookmarked, hope you like this new version more, even if it is a little rushed. Tell me what you think and the next time I update will probably be better now that I'm not reworking from a previous chapter.
