Blowing In The Wind
February 20th 2012
A Story Inspired By The Book,
The Five People You Meet In Heaven
MLP: FiM Fic by Mr.Dependable
"There is no real ending. It's just the place where you stop the story"
Frank Herbert
Blowin’ In The Wind
Train Stations, there wasn’t a place the dull grey 28 year old Pegasus despised more. She couldn’t decide whether it was the invasive cantatas of multiple conversations or the ludicrously claustrophobic atmosphere that set her off. Could it be the pompous aristocrats, who seemed to believe they had the elevated status of a demigod? Maybe it was the incessant bumping and shoving? Either way, the entire portrait struck an out of tune chord on her heartstrings. There was one thing she was sure of though, and that was that the unconditional hatred for train stations cut considerably deeper into the soft flesh of her soul. Memories of anguish and forlornness were latched to the bustling hub of commuters and vacationing families.
The stale bench where Derpy sat was situated in front of a lush display of tulips and daffodils, which surrounded a gracious and regal fountain. She couldn’t quite remember why she was here, but something nagged at her gut and insinuated that whatever she was waiting for was important. It wasn’t unusual for the lazy-eyed Pegasus to get lost in her thoughts, and more often than not she would find herself in similar situations.
The harrowing shriek of a lonesome train whistle reverberated across the lavish halls and pillars that surrounded the platform. Startled by the sporadic burst of cacophonous air, Derpy turned her attention towards the trains impending arrival. As the sickly smell of smoke and engine grease flooded her nostrils, the train came to a shuddering halt at the platform. It grinded to its resting point and released copious amounts of hot compressed steam. Her eyes watered as the smoke scorched her pupils and she rubbed them vigorously as a figure began to emerge from the concealing cloud of boiling water.
The mare that stood before Derpy was quite possibly the most peculiar sight the mail mare had ever seen. A white and black keffiyeh was meticulously wrapped around her head, and was accompanied by an olive collared adventurer shirt covered by a brown leather bomber jacket. The overall appearance of the mare was that of a treasure hunter. Her clothing was weathered and dull, and her athletic build greatly alluded to many years of physically demanding situations.
Derpy’s eyes had ceased their zany antics and she could finally begin to distinguish who the mysterious entity before her was. However, no matter how hard she squinted and focused her good iris upon the shadowy mare, the keffiyeh did a successful job of hiding her identity.
As she was about to give up her investigation, the anonymous mare raised her head, and Derpy could see the face of what she had assumed was a fictional character.
“Hello Derpy…” said Daring Do in a despairing voice.
Derpy sat in bewilderment. While her admiration of the adventurous character was an obsession only to be rivaled by Rainbow Dash, she had assumed that her fillyhood hero was strictly fictitious. The fact that she was now standing no more than 3 meters away was almost unfathomable.
Daring let out a rattling sigh as she advanced upon Derpy’s bench.
“I suppose you’re wondering why you are here?”
A quizzical look flashed across the face of the cross eyed Pegasus as Daring sat down beside her. The adventurer let out another, more depressing sigh as she stared up at the grandiose clock hanging from the ceiling.
“Derpy…” she began, “…do you believe in heaven… actually, no, forget heaven… how about just an afterlife? Yes, do you believe in the afterlife Derpy?”
Befuddled by her random inquisition Derpy stumbled over her response.
“I… I suppose so,” she stuttered.
The mustard-brown pony turned her head towards the bewildered grey Pegasus, before continuing her confusing dialogue.
“Good… I guess that will make this slightly easier…”
She paused for a moment before continuing,
“Derpy… I honestly and sincerely wish it weren’t true, and believe me when I say that I take about as much joy from informing you of this as you will from hearing it… but, you’re no longer… alive.”
Her blunt comment stunned the poor Pegasus as her mind went into overload.
‘As in dead?’ she thought to herself.
Daring Do surprised Derpy by answering the question she had asked in her head.
“Yes,” she replied, “I know you must have a multitude of questions, but there is time for that later. For now... you must follow.”
Derpy’s most adored hero listlessly raised herself from the bench before half-heartedly making her way towards the platform. The Pegasus shook her head, before getting up herself and following the abstrusely somber pony.
“Wait…” Derpy requested as she caught up with Daring, “… what do you mean no longer alive… I can’t be, I’m still working! Besides if I’m… no longer alive, then what are all these ponies doing here?”
Daring responded with a grimace and a pity soaked question.
“What ponies?”
It was at that moment Derpy had a sudden realization. There was no pony else in the train station. She was perplexed by what she truly visualized. She could have sworn that the train station was just as, if not even more busy than usual. But now, there was nopony else except for her and Daring. Everypony she had assumed was present at the train station seemed to have dispersed into space.
“But… I was just... I was…”
Daring tutted loudly before halting her forward march, and turning to look at the confused Pegasus.
“What were you doing Derpy… think… what happened?”
She furrowed her brow, scavenging her memories for the reasoning behind the peculiar events playing out before her.
“I was… delivering a package?” she asked before searching for approval
The mustard Pegasus shook her head while responding.
“No… think harder…”
Derpy scrounged her mind as hard as she could, turning over every leaf she found in her brain.
“I was… I was… meeting Dinky…”
Daring bowed her head and made a circular motion with her hoof, requesting for more recollection.
“She was coming to meet me after school… we were going to Canterlot… for a vacation…”
“Yes…” said Daring in an even more distained tone.
“The train was coming…” she squeezed her eyes tightly, forcing the replay of her memories, “…and …and somepony knocked Dinky… knocked Dinky onto the tracks… she was to scared to move… I went to help her… after … after that…”
Derpy’s stomach lurched as the sudden realization hit her harder than, ironically, a freight train. Her throat tightened and her eyes welled up as a look of sheer terror and sorrow washed across her face.
“No…” she whimpered, “no, no, no… I can’t be… No! It’s just a dream… I just fainted… Dinky’s fine… when I open my eyes I’ll be back… back… no, I can’t be… what about Dinky? What about our vacation?”
Derpy succumbed to her oppressive emotions as she realized that what her mysterious guide had stated was true.
“I… I’m…” she choked on the last word, unable to gather the strength to say what she now realized was much to real.
“Dead,” concluded Daring monotonously, as her mouth contorted in contempt.
******
Daring sat five meters away, indifferent to the sobbing mare’s cries of remorse. It had been roughly four hours since Derpy’s realization of the inconvenient truth, and she had spent every moment in painful emotional torment. Many ponies had similar reactions to the knowledge of their departure from the living. Derpy’s shuddering cries began to become more a more intermittent, until the only sound that could be heard was her rhythmic breaths and the odd snuffling of her nose. She half-heartedly raised her head and gazed mournfully at the only other figure in the station. Daring’s facial expressions had not deterred from ones of permanent pity and emotional agony. Gathering the courage to speak, Derpy asked one simple question, which quite possibly had the most complex answer.
“Why?”
Daring sighed heartily, letting the sudden intake of air rattle through her lungs before answering.
“I don’t know Derpy… no one knows why we die, why fate chooses some sooner than others. The answer is a mystery, and always will be… forever blowing in the wind.”
Derpy stood up and shuffled towards Daring’s spot.
“Who are you?” she asked
The brown mare let a small yet mournful smile play at the corners of mouth.
“I am many things to many ponies… to you I am Daring Do… to somepony else I could be Star Swirl The Bearded. But if it is a more universal, simpler answer you are looking for you can call me the gate keeper… or your spiritual guide… your north star.”
Derpy looked quizzically at Daring, and cocked her head to one side much like an inquisitive dog would.
“I choose to display myself in a form you will find comforting and consolidating. Which brings me to the purpose of my existence.” She continued, “When a pony comes to the juncture of life and death… what they don’t realize is that there is a middle land. It is hard to come to terms with life… or should I say lack of it… and it is my job to make sure that you are content and ameliorated before you move forward from this moment of twilight.”
A despondent lump grew in Derpy’s throat as Daring’s nonchalant tone cut deep into her soul. All the things she had done, all her friends, her job, her daughter, they all meant nothing now… she was alone.
“I’m not ready yet…” she bawled, “… I want to go back!”
Daring wrapped a comforting hoof around the shuddering shoulders of the distraught Pegasus.
“Nopony is ever ready for death Derpy…” she assured, “…and while you can’t go back, I will help you. I will help you become content.”
“How?”
Daring arose from her patient sitting position and motioned for Derpy to follow.
“Come…” she said, “…I will show you…”
******
Daring lead Derpy up a short flight of stairs to a petite observation balcony. As she peered over the railing, Derpy noticed that the hall bellow her was now filled with ponies bustling around each other and going to their own specific places. Daring tilted her head to one said and motioned towards the crowd of ponies bellow.
“What do you see Derpy?” she asked.
Derpy cautiously studied the image before her. Stern and apathetic business ponies pushed and shoved their ways through the crowd. Families rushed through the station in an attempt to catch a train, with baggage trailing behind them like a lost puppy. Derpy spied an elderly colt sitting at a café table, admiring the silent performance of a mime. As she observed his impressive choreography, her focus was drawn to a lonesome filly. She was sitting beside a bantam purple suitcase in front of the fountain in the center of the room. The filly looked out of place, clutching a small stuffed bunny, unmoving and alone in the storm of rush and ado with a scared and intimidated look plastered on her face. It took Derpy several moments of confusion before she realized she was gazing upon a youthful version herself.
“That’s me…” she gasped quietly
Derpy turned to Daring… however she had stepped back from the railing, and permitted a direct sightline towards a dark grey mare standing in the shadow of a doorway.
“M-m-mom…” whimpered Derpy in shock.
The Pegasus stepped out from the shrouding darkness and approached the one she had abandoned in the train station so many years ago. Unable to speak Derpy stood frozen and stared flabbergasted at the unmistakable figure of her mother.
“Hello…” she said meekly.
Her mother stopped and stared down at the abandoned filly.
“That was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done…” she began.
Derpy, still confused with the entire situation, raised a quizzical eyebrow.
“Leaving you, that is…” her mother continued, “…I couldn’t do it, I wasn’t strong enough to raise you. It was arrogant of me… I know… but I felt like it was the only thing I could do.”
As her mother spoke, Derpy felt her mood shift, from confusion to one of intimidation and loneliness. It took a moment of deduction, but she eventually realized that this was not the first time she had felt this exact concoction of emotions. She had felt them before, many years ago, when she was just a filly, abandoned in a train station.
“After your father left… I couldn’t handle the stress of raising you alone and fell into a depression. Every time I looked into your innocent yet distorted eyes, I saw a horrible future for you. So I left you here… in this station alone… so that I didn’t have to watch you deteriorate in the horrid life that I would force upon you. All this time I imagined that you would forever despise me… denounce me as a mother for what I did… but yet you forgave me… for something so atrocious and blasphemous…” Concluded the dark pony.
Derpy stared into her mother’s eyes intently for the first time in over 20 years. Fighting the urge to lash out, she remembered why she had forgiven her mother.
“I couldn’t blame you…” began Derpy, “…I was more than a handful… you were the only one to take care of me… it wasn’t your fault really… it was more mine for not seeing that you couldn’t manage it… and I’ve never really forgotten that. Everyday when I mess up or, make a mistake… I remember how hard I must have made things for you and everypony else…”
Her mother’s face distorted in guilt before she retorted.
“The moment I abandoned you here, you learnt a very important lesson… to forgive. You gave everypony around a second chance… no matter how severely they hurt you. Whenever somepony laughed at your eyes or chortled at your clumsiness you forgave them. But there’s one pony you didn’t forgive, a pony who has no right to be blamed. Yourself… Derpy. You scrutinized yourself for everything that ever happened to you, whether it was your fault or not. I am your first memory… your first of five. In order for you to move forward, to take a step in the right direction, you need to forgive yourself. I know I never gave you the chance to say goodbye…. but you should know that I still love you and still miss you more and more as each day passes. Forgive yourself to move forward Derpy… if not for yourself or your friends… for your mother, for me.”
Then as quickly as she had appeared, Derpy’s mother dissipated into the electrified air of the train station. Derpy sat hunched somberly over the railing of the balcony as thoughts rushed through her mind like vehement rapids. She observed herself as a filly, as the crowds in the station began to down size and dwindle in number. As the day turned to night, and the manager of the station came to inquire as to where her mother was. As he retreated into the office and called the police to alert them of an abandoned filly. As the 5-year-old Derpy sat and waited for her mother to return. And as she finally forgave herself for years of self-inflicted torment and reticule.
******
Derpy and Daring walked in silence along the platform towards her next memory. The train station had returned to its eerily empty status that it had had before. Although she was beginning to piece together the events she had partaken in over the last few hours, she still had trouble understanding.
“I’m still confused…” she stated.
Daring kept walking, as if she had ignored Derpy’s statement. However after a moment of silence, the brown Pegasus explained everything to the best of her ability.
“While you are here, it is my job, like I said before, to make you content with your life…” Daring paused, “…there are many ways a pony can attempt to do this… however only one will bring true contentment. I am going to take you on a quest, an adventure. A journey that will show you the five most influential moments and ponies in your life. Each memory will have a specific lesson you must remember or learn. Until you have accepted all of them you will not be able to move forward.”
Derpy nodded her head, as she began to make sense of the complicated situation.
“So what happens now?” she asked.
As if on que, a dark blue door materialized in front of the two mares. In response to her question, Daring opened the door, letting a blinding white light break through the opening and disorientate the Pegasus. Derpy hesitantly took a step forward before glancing at Daring, who responded with nothing but a gentle nod. With the comfort and assurance of her guide, Derpy stepped through the door way and into the white abyss.
******
When she emerged on the other side, the light receded and a landscape of clouds stretched across the horizon. Instantaneously Derpy recognized the cloud playing field of her old Flight School. On the far side of the bleak downy pitch was a group of fillies, who couldn’t be older than 12, taking instructions from a burly gym coach and about to embark on a flying lesson. To her right there was a Grecian styled building with massive columns supporting the roof. She remembered that this was the main flight school, and advanced towards her old location of education.
As her hoof impacted with the soft cloud, something florescent, colorful and traveling at breakneck speeds erupted from the ground bellow her, knocking her back to the ground. Derpy blew audaciously at her fallen bangs as a cyan hoof extended into her peripherals, offering assistance up. She accepted the nameless hoof’s offer and grasped it tightly.
“Sorry about that…” chuckled the tomboyish voice of Rainbow Dash.
Derpy was stunned with the blue pegasi’s abrupt appearance.
“But you have to admit… the way I broke through those clouds was pretty awesome, huh?” She continued enthusiastically.
The athletic pony turned her focus to the doors of the flight school’s main building as a 12-year-old filly came bursting out onto the field. Dash turned and looked at Derpy, whom was still a little blown away by the speedy pony’s abrupt entrance.
“I take it you’re my second memory?” asked Derpy.
Dash smiled and let out an adorable squee…
“The one and only!” she piped arrogantly
Derpy sighed as memories of her friends flashed past like slides in a projector. While Rainbow Dash was standing in front of her, she knew that it was most likely the last time she would ever see her, and the realization brought along more harrowing and mournful thoughts.
“Hey!” interrupted Dash, “…don’t look so glum! Here, follow me... let your old pal Rainbow cheer you up.”
While the interaction had taken place, the filly who had erupted from the flight school’s doors had frantically ran halfway across the field. However, she wasn’t the only one who emerged from the school. Following shortly behind her was a gang of malicious looking colts, cackling with devilish delight. The grey filly tripped and her saddlebags split open and regurgitated their contents across the field. The quartet of insidious colts used the filly’s accident to their advantage and stole her schoolbooks that law strewn across the clouds.
The colts assaulted the fallen filly with pernicious jabs at her abnormal features. Calling out her divergent eyes and clumsy behavior, while mockingly tossing her possessions just above her head. A panicked look splashed across the tormented fillies face as she scrambled towards a diminutive dilapidated stuffed bunny. One of the bullies noticed her frantic scrambling and swooped down to intercept her acquiring the plushie of extreme sentimental value.
Both of the youthful Pegasi reached the stuffed animal in unison, and a desperate tug of war between the condescending colt and the frantic filly began. Derpy watched with bated breath as the fracas ensued. Deep within her gut, the emotions she had felt when she was just a little filly blossomed like tulips.
It seemed that the grey pegasus was about to win the desperate struggle for her stuffed bunny, when an audible rip tore through the seems of her heart. The relentless colt released the stuffed animal, as cotton began to seep from the broken stitching. Derpy’s heart plummeted into the recesses of her soul as the memory of the torn stuffed animal impacting against the ground bounced around in her skull.
The filly’s hooves began to shake and she fell to her flank in submission. She dropped the ripped plushy onto the clouds bellow her as her eyes misted over.
“Mr. Bubbles…” she whimpered as the cascade of tears began to fall from her eyes like a lugubrious waterfall.
However, even as she sat and broke down into a fit of forlorn spirits, the bullies monopolized upon her reaction. One teal coated colt began slowly chanting.
“Cry… Cry… Cry…”
It wasn’t long before his three acquaintances joined in on the deleterious chant.
“CRY, CRY, C…” their exuberance was broken by a small full colour spectrum blur.
“YOU GUYS LEAVE HER ALONE!” screamed a Rainbow maned filly.
The colts were flabbergasted at the 10-year-old’s surprising display of courage and aggression. However, after the initial shock wore off, they broke into a string of machine gun laughter.
“Sure, like that’s gonna happen!” Chortled a crimson colt who appeared to be the ring leader, “…what are you gonna do about it Rainbow Crash!”
With a mischievous smile, the filly spun around and delivered a precise yet forceful kick to the soft fleshy groin of the brutish colt. He squealed in agony before collapsing towards the cloudy ground. The other colts halted their bullying and turned their attention to the one who had just crippled their crony. Evil grimaces stretched across their faces as they advanced upon their new target.
“Get out of here kid!” demanded Rainbow Dash as she drew the attention from the distraught filly, “I’ll hold ‘em off!”
The grey Pegasus wiped the tears from her eyes before nodding her head furiously. She grabbed as many of her possessions as she could, including the damaged stuffy, before frantically sprinting away from the group of bullies.
As she was about to retreat back into the school, Derpy glanced back at her hero. She watched in horror as the group of colts who had been picking on her, overpowered Rainbow Dash. Something snapped deep down in the filly’s heart, and the poignant emotion of anger ignited a flame behind her eyes. With a burst of assertiveness she dropped her saddlebags and returned to the group of colts who had tormented her moments before.
Derpy, Rainbow Dash and Daring watched from their positions at the side of the field as a modest grey streak flashed across the pitch and launched itself into the brawl. Derpy’s disposition changed from intimidation and sorrow to ones of determination and rage as she silently cursed the colts who had attacked her mere moments before.
The crimson colt had recomposed him self after the brutal kick delivered by the rainbow maned filly, and was about to show her a world of rage fueled hurt. However, he was blind sided by what felt like the equivalent of a cement truck and was flung 5 meters back onto his flank. Before he could recover from the abusive hit, a set of grey hooves knocked him into the black abyss of unconsciousness. The grey filly reared up onto her front hooves and delivered another kick to the side of the colt who was currently wrestling with her savior. Seeing her frightening display of aggression and strength, the two other colts froze in their tracks and began to back away. After picking up their two fallen comrades they turned about face and frantically scrambled off the field.
The filly version of Dash hauled herself to her hooves before proudly brushing off imaginary dust from her shoulders.
“Hey…” she said, “… you handled yourself pretty well. Don’t tell anyone but I think you saved my flank back there.”
Dash extended a friendly hoof and introduced herself.
“Rainbow Dash… fastest filly in Equestria and future wonder bolt!”
Derpy accepted her gesture of good will and shook the filly’s hoof.
“You can call me Derpy…” she said, “…hey I recognize you, are you from the orphanage too?”
Dash’s face went sour before she quickly changed her disposition back to confidence.
“Yeah… hey, you’re doll got ripped right?”
Derpy bowed her head and glumly kicked the clouds bellow her before gesturing to the torn doll that she had left by her saddlebags. The rainbow filly smiled and started towards Derpy’s possessions.
“Follow me friend…” she called over her shoulder, “…the nurse in the school has some thread and if we ask reallllllly nicely she might let us borrow some to fix your doll.”
The trio of matured Ponies observed in silence as the grey filly bounded after her first real friend. Grown-up Rainbow Dash and Derpy walked out onto the field from their observation point, and watched as the two fillies disappeared into the school.
“You were the first pony who ever stood up for me you know.” Complimented Derpy.
Dash smiled and looked back at the cross eyed Pegasus she had befriended so many years ago.
“Well, I knew how hard it was being alone without a friend… besides those, guys were being total jerks. They deserved it!”
Rainbow Dash extended her wings and beckoned for Derpy to follow her. She briskly led her friend to a window where the two filly versions of them selves were laughing and fixing Mr. Bubbles. Dash wrapped a hoof around Derpy’s back as they silently watched the two little Pegasi genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
“The day I saved you… you made a very big decision.” Started Dash, “When I gave you the chance to run away and save yourself… you didn’t. Out of sheer selflessness, you returned and helped a friend in need, despite the fact that you could have been hurt. Through that action you not only saved me… but you also saved yourself. On that day, you found your first real friend… me, and you learned the value of friendship. You learned that no matter how dire a situation was, you could always count on a friend to be at your side and help. You learned the value of being loyal to your friends… which is quite suitable if you ask me.”
Derpy felt her eyes begin to water as she recalled the years the two fillies had spent together. After a few weeks, Dash had introduced her to Fluttershy, possibly the most benevolent pony she had ever met. Summers spent playing in the sun, going on adventures and doing things that friends did flooded her mind as a smile cracked at the edge of her mouth like a sunrise peeking over the horizon.
Dash noticed her friend’s tears and brought her into a tight hug.
“Thank you Dash…” wept Derpy, “… thank you for being my friend, thank you for being the first pony to ever be nice to me.”
Derpy pulled away from the friendly embrace and could have sworn she saw a tear hiding in the corner in her oldest friends eyes. Dash smiled with genuine gratitude.
“What do you mean being, I’m still your friend Derpy… nothing can take that away, not even death. Remember though… if you ever need a friend, I’m still right here…” as she pointed to a spot on Derpy’s chest above her heart, “…you ever find yourself in trouble, just think of me… and everypony else… and you’ll be fine.”
Derpy wiped away the tears in her eyes as Dash slowly began to walk away, towards the edge of the cloud the school was on. The grey Pegasus turned and looked at her dearest friend.
“I guess this is goodbye then…” she said meekly.
Dash continued to the edge of the cloud before turning back and smiled reassuringly at her saddened friend.
“It’s not goodbye…” she cooed tenderly, “…just, see you later.”
And with that, the cyan Pegasus leapt into the brisk air and flew high up into the sky. She paused for a moment before collapsing her wings and dive-bombing towards the flight school. Derpy watched in awe as an impressive Mach cone developed in front of Dash’s head. The cone stretched more and more, compressing the body of the sleek stylish Pegasus. With an impressive and thunderous explosion, Derpy’s oldest friend materialized into a full spectrum sonic rainboom, which flooded the skies.
Daring Do tapped the awe struck Pegasus on the shoulder and gestured for her to follow back towards the door. However, as she was turning around, away from the window, something caught her eye. A bright blue speck floating by. A cerulean feather, which belonged to the wing of non other than Rainbow Dash, was blowing gently in the wind.
******
Even though it had felt like almost several hours had past, the clock in the Ponyville train station was frozen in time. The sun remained soring formidably in the same position in the sky, and a calm tepid breeze lazily crept around the pillars and benches of the station. Derpy sat alone, contemplating the two previous memories and ponies, and the messages they had delivered. Daring forbearingly sat in the deserted café, waiting for the cross-eyed Pegasus to continue on her quest for contentment. Many ponies responded to the depressing juncture of life and death in contradistinctive ways. Some sat in somber silence, quite like how Derpy was now, others would lash out and deny their fate before breaking down and reluctantly accepting it. Either way, they both were equally depressing to watch.
Derpy laboriously opened her eyes and stood up, before turning towards the café. Daring saw her act of erecting herself as a sign of readiness, and worked her way towards the blonde maned Pegasus.
“Are you ready for your next memory?” she asked despairingly.
Derpy rubbed her temples methodically and let out an indecisive grunt before making up her mind.
“Yes…” she replied.
Daring turned towards a bleak and empty space on a wall not to far away. With an affable nod the outline of a door etched itself into the dry cracked plaster, and pragmatized itself before them. Daring progressed towards the freshly registered door and opened it for the grey Pegasus. Derpy paused before she stepped through the portal that lead to her third memory.
“Before we go… I have one question…” She asserted.
Daring lugubriously closed the door and awaited Derpy’s inquisition in despondent silence.
“What about you? Why are you here?” she queried.
The adventurer’s eyes glimmered and she blithely yet pathetically grinned at the pegasi’s speculation.
“I have been here for thousands of years. Longer than Equestria. I have witnessed the death of millions, and helped the souls of even more. I have been here so long, that I cannot remember why I am here or how I got to be what I am. All I do know is that it is my duty—my job—to help ponies like you.”
Satisfied with the answer to her question, Derpy shrugged indifferently and opened the door her self, before sauntering into her next recollection.
******
The building that stood before Derpy was an all to familiar structure. From the faded blue lettering which spelled out Equestrian Post to the basic and rather boring image of a letter with a red postage stamp. Derpy recognized the building as the home of her first and only job.
As she stepped closer to the white picket fence, which surrounded the Ponyville post office, a familiar gruff voice erupted behind her.
“Hello Ms. Hooves, how are you today.”
Derpy spun around and saw her late boss sitting on a bench behind her. She smiled at the elderly pony’s deep, soothing voice that she was so fond of.
“Here, come, have a seat… I’m afraid my hips are being rather childish.”
Derpy smiled silently and sauntered over towards the bench as Daring receded into the entryway of a miscellaneous alley.
“How many times did I have to tell you Mr. Letterman,” Derpy piped as she rested her flank onto the bench beside him, “, you can call me Derpy.”
The soft wrinkled face of the kind-hearted post office’s manager stretched as he chuckled lightly.
“Sorry, Derpy,” he explained, “, force of habit. I guess I got used to it over the years.”
The two acquaintances sat together in unison silence and contently watched as ponies rushed past their island of serenity. After a few moments, with a disgruntled sigh, Derpy’s old boss tenderly hoisted himself up from the bench onto all four hooves.
“A wonderful day isn’t it…” he stated, “Constance will be out in the garden by now.”
Derpy’s smile faded as she noticed the date printed on a newspaper her elderly boss had been reading. April 22nd… the day the most generous and supportive pony she had ever met would die in her hooves.
“Tell me something Derpy, what made you come to my post office… of all the possibilities why did you come to me?”
Derpy reflected upon the extemporaneous decision she had made almost 10 years ago.
“I wanted to work outside…” she finally answered, “…work somewhere I could just be myself… see ponies… see Ponyville… see Equestria.”
Letterman smiled, satisfied with her genuine answer. Grimacing as the pains of arthritis shot through his hips and up his spine. He limped his way towards the white picket fence and lent his weary body against its supportive beams. Derpy, after a moment’s reflection, joined her business partner at the fence, which bordered the post office’s property.
As she came alongside the declining green stallion, she noticed a slightly younger copy of herself trotting ethereally down the cobble stone path towards the post office. The front door of the postage building opened and shut as an exact replica of Mr. Letterman walked out to great the grey Pegasus.
“Hello Mr. Letterman,” chirped Derpy as she turned onto the offices front path.
“Hello Derpy…” he replied, “…did you deliver that package I left for you at the front desk?”
Derpy bowed her head in bashfulness as she admitted to her failure to complete the task.
“I tried Mr. Letterman…” she said meekly, “…but the writing was too small…”
The elderly stallion let out a commiserating exhale as he tussled the mail mares mane.
“It’s alright, Derpy… I understand; at least you tried… and I’ll be damned before I punish you for something like that.”
Derpy gasped at the usually sophisticated and well-mannered stallion’s crash expression. He chortled at her shocked disposition, before taking the saddlebags, marked with the post office’s insignia, off of her back.
“Sorry, Derpy…” he began apologetically, “…guess I got a little carried away.”
Derpy stared at herself from her stance at the picket fence as the copy followed her boss towards the post office. The man was more of a father to her. He had taken her in the day he found out she was an orphan. His wife Constance and him had never been able to have a filly of their own, and while she was 17, it was never to late to try and fulfill the empty spots in their memories where a child belonged. They had renovated an extra room in Mr. Letterman’s post office to accommodate Derpy at first, before she had found a place of her own.
Each day, she would get up at the break of dawn and help prepare the post office for the arrival of her boss. While she was determined to succeed, her vision disagreed, and it took far too much effort for her to perform the simplest of tasks around the office. Eventually, Mr. Letterman proposed that she deliver the mail, as the writing on the letters and parcels were much larger and easier for her to read. Derpy had found this alternative much more manageable, and before she knew it, she had become Ponyville’s resident mail mare.
Derpy’s complacent remembrance was interrupted by a forced and sarcastic clattering cough as her boss attempted to regain her attention.
“I said…” he began, “…you were the most determined and persistent employee I ever had, you know? Even if you knew you couldn’t do something, you still tried. Made me damn proud.”
Derpy smiled and pat the father-like stallion on the back.
“I learned from the best Mr. Letterman.” She said.
The chartreuse stallion eyed the closest equivalent to a daughter he had.
“You know…” he began, “…I think we’ve known each other long enough for you to call me by my first name, Virgo.”
Derpy blushed and playfully mimicked what her father figure had said moments before.
“Sorry…” she said in a deep shaky voice, “…force of habit.”
The two mares burst into a bought of impish laughter at her less than successful impersonation. However, they’re laughter was broken by the tumult which was playing out between the two projections of Derpy’s mind on the lawn.
“MR.LETTERMAN!” yelped the copy of Derpy as Virgo collapsed with a laborious grunt.
The real Derpy sucked in air through gritted teeth, and held her breath in suspense. She saw Virgo drop his front hooves from the fence and saunter glumly back towards the bench. Derpy wondered what kind of Lovecraftian horror type hell it must be to watch yourself die. Her attention was drawn back to the dramatic tragedy playing out on the front lawn stage of the post office.
“Mr. Letterman,” repeated Derpy’s duplication as she fell to his side, “…what’s wrong?”
Virgo’s face was distorted in pain as he clutched at his chest fearfully. The panicked elderly stallion attempted to call out to Derpy, but the only vocal reverberations he could produce were distressed grunts and winces.
“Please…” pleaded Derpy, “…tell me what’s wrong!”
His breaths grew more strenuous and prolonged as his eyes began to calm their sporadic darting dance. Derpy rested his head under her foreleg as his eyelids began to droop and his panicked facial expressions began to recede. It was all happening so fast. The clone of the grey Pegasus was taken by surprise by his sudden collapse and had no idea what to do.
“No… no, no, no…” she whimpered as Virgo’s fleeting breaths became more and more recurrent.
With the last of his strength, the dying stallion raised his hoof sanguinely towards Derpy’s distraught face. It was all so sudden, so silent… so surreal. And with one sullen irrefrangible wheezing exhale, the stallion’s body went flaccid.
The blond maned Pegasus recoiled in horror at the lifeless body which now rested in her hooves.
“Mr. Letterman…” she whimpered charily, “…Virgo?”
Derpy was denying the reality of the situation, praying that his eyes would reopen any moment. However, as a crowd of several ponies circumvented the sudden tragic turn of events, Derpy’s shoulders began to shudder with each breath.
“…Dad…” she whispered lovingly into his unresponsive ears as she pressed his rapidly cooling body to her sternum.
Derpy stood in frozen, anguished shock as she witnessed her adoptive father’s death for the second time. For several tormenting moments, she stood stock-still, absorbing the emotional performance playing out before her. She watched as the ambulance came and separated the two, before covering Virgo in an austerely white body bag. A sympathetic paramedic guided her shell-shocked double into the back of the ambulance, before wrapping her in a coarse, uncomfortable wool blanket.
Long after the ambulance departed the scene, Derpy remained in the same spot, unresponsive with an apathetic disposition hiding her true emotions. The deserted harrowing front lawn of the post office mirrored her soul, as she relived the death of her father with scrutinous detail.
“It’s never easy loosing someone you care about…” impeded the third memory’s representative.
Derpy snapped herself back to reality, if she could call her current status that. She somberly returned to her mentor’s side on the bench.
“To be honest…” confessed Virgo, “I’m surprised you went back to working at the post office after my passing.”
Derpy smiled and rested her head against the shoulder of the green pony she labeled as a father.
“It felt like the right thing to do…” she stated, “Besides, I knew you wouldn’t want me to just abandon everything because you were gone.”
Virgo lovingly tussled her blond mane.
“Ahhhh determination… persistence… Continuing on through the darkest hour of the darkest day!” He cooed.
The elderly pony hoisted himself from the bench with a tedious grunt.
“There’s nothing I respect more in a pony… all things that you exemplify.” He continued
Derpy blushed at his honest compliment as she watched him stretch his arthritic back. A succession of cracks and pops rang out through the uncomfortabley calm air.
“Just like every other time in your life…” began Virgo, “…you persisted in the wake of my death. Just like if you couldn’t read the address on a parcel, or couldn’t find an address, you were determined to try and kept moving forward. It was that determination, which helped you succeed more then you’ll care to admit. You learnt that no matter how dire a situation was, if you pressed on through the storm, held your head up high and refused to be afraid of the dark, you would get by. You learnt that determination and persistence were the keys to success.”
She could feel her heart melt in genuine affection, as Derpy stood up from the bench and embraced her father.
“I love you, Dad.” she cooed lovingly as she nuzzled his neck.
Virgo rested his fatigued and elderly head on Derpy’s soft golden mane.
“I love you too, Derpy…” he responded, “…always have, always will.”
The two stayed like that, segregated from everything else, encased in time and space by a loving embrace. However, as the minutes trickled by like rain on a window, Derpy began to realize that she could not stay in her father’s arms forever. As if he had read her mind, Virgo pulled away from the embrace and stared deep into his daughter’s eyes.
“It’s about that time…” he sighed as he shifted his gaze towards a sparrow gently floating on the summer breeze.
Derpy followed his eyes and they both watched the sparrow in mutual silence. Virgo dropped his head before staring disdainfully at the cobble stone road, which would lead him to his home.
“I wonder what Constance has planned for dinner…”, he pondered out loud.
Ignoring his comment, Derpy continued watching the sparrow’s lethargic choreography. She silently resented the imminent farewell with her father.
“I miss you, Dad…” she said despairingly.
Virgo sighed and softly closed his eyes, letting waves of emotion wash over him like warm water in a shower.
“I miss you too, Derpy…” he replied.
The faint hollow sound of slow methodical hoofsteps echoed through the silent towns streets. Derpy turned to see her father languidly shuffling down the path home. With a lump forming in her throat and tears beginning to stream down her hot cheeks, she watched him silently depart.
“Goodbye… Dad…” she cried out after him, “…I love you.”
Virgo’s steps did not falter and he lifted his head up towards the welcoming sun.
“‘Till we meet again, Derpy…” he responded, “…’till we meet again.”
With that, Derpy watched as her fathers began his long walk to solace. As he grew smaller and smaller, the unmistakable whistling of an elderly stallion floated its way to the grey mares ears. Reverberating off the quaint town houses and filling the streets with its saccharine melody. Derpy knew the song all to well; it had been her father’s favorite. After so many years, the poignant and suitable lyrics were fresh in her mind as if she had just sung them the day before.
As Virgo’s body began to fade, and the landscape that was hidden by his form became more and more defined, Derpy quietly accompanied his song of solitude.
We’ll meet again…
Derpy watched as Virgo’s body became more transparent.
Don’t know where, Don’t know when…
The sound of his steps grew weaker and weaker.
But I’m sure we’ll meet again…
His body was almost completely translucent now; only the faint green tint and outline of where he once stood were visible.
Some sunny…
Before Derpy could finish, the whistling ceased, and her father disappeared. Without the accompaniment of Virgo, Derpy began to weep before finishing his song alone.
Day…
******
“We are coming to the final stretch of your journey Derpy.” said Daring, “You have revisited 3 memories of your life and the ponies and lessons tethered to each one.”
They had returned to the train station where Derpy had begun her quest for contentment. Derpy sat and contemplated the lessons and memories tied to her father. While she expected to be in a state of emotional distress for hours, the inter period between memories was getting surprisingly shorter.
“However, I must warn you… the next two ponies, and the moments in your life they are connected to, will be the most difficult ones you will confront. Use your past lessons to aid you if need be, but remember that only after you finalize with the next two, will you be able to finish entirely.” Warned Daring.
Derpy stood confidently, chest puffed out and ready to meet the final two ponies who affected her life the most.
“I’m ready,” she said, “Show me the door.”
With a disapproving shake of the head, Daring spread her wings and drew back Keffiyeh on her head.
“The final two do not require the door…” she informed, “instead, we will fly.”
******
The church sat desolate and was eerily empty as Derpy and Daring stood in the grandiose arched entrance. Derpy was confused; the pious building was decorated lavishly for what she assumed was a wedding. Banisters were covered in sterile white cloth with magnificent red ribbons on each post. Flower petals were littered across the floor and bleak curtains majestically hung from the ceiling. While it was prepared for a wedding, it was deserted, not a patron to be found.
Derpy stepped forward into the aisle, which lead past rows of obedient pews to the front of the church. As she was about to continue walking and further her investigation of the odd location, a strangely familiar voice erupted behind her.
“Hello Muffin…” said a deep and soothing tone.
“Could it be…” thought Derpy in aspiration, “…it couldn’t be.”
She whisked around only to come face to face with a cream-coloured stallion, not much older than herself. He was wearing a meticulously assembled pressed tuxedo with a perky rose fixed to the lapel. He had a dark chocolate brown mane, which was regally gelled back for a non descript special occasion. It was a stallion that Derpy had not seen in over 5 years, a Stallion by the name of Nimble Bolt… her husband.
With tears of joy streaming down her face, Derpy launched herself into the open arms of her spouse. Crying and laughing she hugged and kissed the only stallion who ever returned her unconditional feelings affection.
“I’m glad to see you too…” he chuckled as he planted a tender kiss onto the forehead of his wife.
“I’ve missed you so much…” she said as her muffled sobs of joy echoed through the empty church.
Nimble rubbed his wife’s back reassuringly, before she spoke once again.
“I just have one question…” asked Derpy, “…why are you all dressed up like that?”
“Well….” He began with a sly grin, “I expected that you would’ve wanted me to dress up for our own wedding.”
On cue with the end of his statement, a fortuitous gust of wind burst through the doors and blasted past the two ponies. The flower petals that coated the floor were swept up and sent tumbling through the church, disrupting the once stagnant air. The bannisters shook and the curtains swayed back and forth as the wind played mischievously with each object it could touch. As it proceeded towards the far side of the hall, pew-by-pew ponies began to materialize. Friends, family and even ponies that Derpy had no recollection of ever meeting flooded the seats. Eventually the gust advanced upon the small stage and two love struck ponies stood in wedding drab locked in each other’s eyes.
Derpy’s heart fluttered as she recollected the happiest day of her life. The sun beamed from the sky warming the bodies of the audience while the beautiful scene before them warmed their hearts. She glanced at Nimble, he was just as handsome and attractive as the day they met.
It was a balmy summer’s day, not much more than a year after Virgo’s death. Derpy had assumed his responsibilities at the post office along with hers, which included the mailing routes in Ponyville and Canterlot. Every other day she would find herself wandering the regal streets and alleys of the city that seemed to be built of aristocrats and royalty. There was one spot though, one she enjoyed more than anywhere else in the lavish city.
Just a few blocks away from the bustling hub of vendors and patrons that made Canterlots main plaza, was a café. Situated in front of a gurgling creek, a small arched bridge provided a gateway to the other parts of Canterlot. Derpy loved the calm and quiet aura that the café possessed, and whenever she walked by something compelled her to go inside. A familiar aroma would always caress her nose and entice the grey mail mare to take a break and divulge into a freshly baked muffin. On that day the café had created her favorite flavor… Banana Poppy Seed. Her mouth began to water as she imagined taking a big bight from the warm moist baked good.
After a moment’s hesitation, she had shrugged off her duties as a mail mare for the time being, and stepped inside the establishment. She usually kept to herself, not many ponies had an interest with peculiar grey Pegasus. However, on that day, while she was waiting for her order, she felt a slight tug at her lazily drooping wing. When she turned to investigate she saw a small purple filly playful batting at the feathers coating her wing. When Derpy tried to introduce herself the infant shrunk into a ball and timidly averted eye contact. Only after some playful and reassuring phrases had Derpy managed to get a name from the small child.
Derpy had an idea at that moment, and reached into her saddlebags to retrieve a gift of kindness for the purple infant. However as she was reaching out to give it to her, a cold and abusive hoof refused the present. The mother of the filly had caught Derpy playing with the child, and she was livid. Accusing Derpy of being a filly-o-phile and insulting her abnormal and goofy eyes. Derpy tried to apologize, but the raving mother ignored her pleas for forgiveness and called her a retard. The words cut deep into the sensitive soul of Derpy as she tried to back away. However, as she was escaping she bumped into a table and sent miscellaneous drinks flying in all directions. Ponies through out the entire café were now hurtling abuse at the clumsy and frightened Pegasus, and she couldn’t help but feel trapped, much like when she was being bullied back at flight school. With a burst of tears, the mail mare had bolted out the front door of the café and hid underneath the bridge that arched over the small river outside the cafe.
Derpy scowled at the memory of such a horrid day, it truly couldn’t have gone any worse. As she stared blankly at the wedding progressing before her she continued her remembrance.
It was dark and gloomy under the bridge, and she felt like disappearing from existence right then and there. However as she was engulfed by emotions a cream coloured stallion poked his head underneath the stone structure. Derpy had refused his request for accompaniment at first, but he persisted and against her commandment sat down under the bridge. After moments of silence Derpy finally opened up and bawled her eyes out. She explained how all she wanted was for ponies to like her, she just wanted them to know she was nice. But, when she tried to come out of her shell and introduce herself they made fun of her and criticized her. During this time the cream Unicorn sat and listened in understanding silence.
For an hour they sat together, he confessed that he had watched her deliver packages for the past month. He observed her fumble and fail, but also watched her get back up again and continue on. Derpy sat in wonderment as the stallion, who she now knew as Nimble Bolt, explicated how he had the highest admiration's towards the clumsy mail mare. As he was speaking Derpy had become lost in his deep cerulean eyes and half way through one of his sentences she leapt up and kissed him on the mouth. Ashamed of what she had done, Derpy immediately pulled away and apologized. She was about to break into tears again when Nimble took her by surprise and grabbed her hoof. He stared into her eyes not saying a thing. He showed he was not perturbed by her actions with one simple movement. He leant closer, heart beating as if it were of his chest. As the gap between the two closed she shut her eyes as Nimble returned the spontaneous act of affection with one of his own.
Derpy smiled at the memory of the first time the kindhearted unicorn and her had locked lips as the priest at the far side of the church rambled on. From that day forth they had spent endless hours together. Out of pure the generosity and kindness of his heart he helped Derpy manage the strenuous task of working two mail routes. Day after day they would tackle the day together, and at lunch the two love struck ponies would share their meal of assorted muffins, which they never get tired of, together. Things progressed and Derpy moved in with Nimble Bolt in a quaint cottage in Ponyville. Eventually, at one particularly fancy dinner in the Canterlot gardens restraunt, Nimble proposed to Derpy, and the two ponies that shared an unconditional love would be wed.
So here they were, standing in front all their friends and family waiting for the traditional process to bind them together forever. Derpy snapped back to the memory at hand as the priest’s speech came to a close.
“And do you Nimble Bolt, take Derpy Hooves to be your lawfully wedded wife?” echoed his voice.
Nimble’s clone stared lovingly into the eyes of his soon to be wife.
“I do.” He said honestly.
The priest closed the book and smiled at the two ponies before him.
“Then I pronounce you… husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”
The wedding dress clad Derpy jumped into the arms of Nimble Bolt and kissed him passionately as the crowd of ponies cheered. The grey Pegasus standing in the doorway felt her heart skip a beat as her emotions fleeted into the stratosphere. The newly wed couple cantered down the aisle towards the exit, and she stood aside as they ran past and out the front doors, indifferent to the observers standing in the entrance. The patrons slowly trickled out and it not before long the church was one again empty.
Derpy refocused her attention to Nimble only to find that he had left her side and was walking down the aisles.
“So I guess my lesson… my memory? Is learn to love?” said Derpy as she caught up with him.
Nimble stopped and bowed his head. He turned to his wife and grabbed her shoulders lovingly.
“I’m afraid not…” he said, “This was a prelude, a reminder of how you felt when we were together. Your lesson is something much more… debilitating… much more, painful.”
Derpy’s heart sank as his words impacted against her happy disposition like a boulder falling from its perch high on a cliff. There was only one memory where she was ever unhappy at the hands of her husband, and it was one she had hoped to bury forever.
Nimble scooped up a hoof-full of flower petals and let them gently slide from his grasp and lazily drift to the floor. He stared at the grandiose hall where he wed the love of his life. Turning towards a plain side door he motioned for Derpy to follow and they advanced upon it together.
Before he opened it, Nimble grabbed a lily, which was sitting in a vase on a table beside the door. He snapped his teeth down on the stem, shortening it to two inches before amorously placing it behind the ear of his wife.
“Are you ready?” he asked.
Derpy gulped and stared at the door, knowing that it was portal to the darkest day of her life.
“…No” she responded before grabbing the handle, twisting counter clock wise and pulling.
With one last gander at the magnificent hall she turned her attention back to the opening and stepped through the door.
******
The room before Derpy was undoubtedly her living room. The comforting velvet couch and the solid oak coffee table reminded her of many a night spent curled up in front of the fire leaning against Nimble’s warm body. However, the living room was currently in the grey dreary status that comes along with the mid afternoon clouded skies. Not dark enough for the use of an artificial light, and not bright enough for the room to be its usually heart warming sight, Derpy was put off by the bleak aura.
Her and Nimble had found themselves in the kitchen after stepping through the inter memorial portal. Before them, oblivious to the two ponies, standing in her kitchen sweeping the floor was a bloated pregnant Derpy.
In her third trimester, Derpy was mere weeks away from the predicted pregnancy date. She was in a foul mood and the gloomy weather was not helping relieve her thoughts of frustration. For the first time in the entirety of their years spent together Nimble and Derpy had broken into argument. With the birth of their filly imminent they decided it was time to choose a name and a disagreement ensued when Derpy proposed Dinky. Nimble believed that it was unsuitable and crash to name their first daughter something so dainty. For days they remained silently aggravated with each other, until that morning when a massive row erupted between the two. The results of the argument were two ill spirited ponies and a disgruntled Nimble who left for work without saying goodbye.
Nimble and Derpy watched as the pregnant mare silently cleaned the dimly lit house. A solid thumping on the door made the grey Pegasus drop her broom and in her moment of alarm knocked over a glass cup. She cursed silently as it shattered against the floor before hastily making her way towards the door. Derpy realized with horror stricken what would ensue her pregnant self answering the door. She sharply snapped her head towards nimble in panic.
“No, Nimble please don’t…” she pleaded, “…please don’t make me live through this again!”
Nimble wrapped his hooves around his grief stricken wife before attempting to calm her down.
“Shhhhh…” he hushed, “…I’m sorry, but you have to if you wish to move forward. You need to accept what happened and you need to move on.”
Two stern looking police officers stood at the door with their uniform hats tucked under their wings.
“Mrs. Hooves?” asked the first police stallion.
Derpy gulped and pondered why the two law enforcement officers were standing at her front door before responding.
“Yes?” she said meekly
The two stallions looked at each other as the second one turned and began to speak.
“Do you mind if we come inside? We have some rather bad news.”
With a permitting nod, Derpy stepped aside and allowed the two officers to wait on the couch in the living room. As they were sitting down Derpy walked into the kitchen to sweep up the broken glass.
“Would you two like anything, a cup of coffee maybe?” she asked.
The officers shook their heads.
“No mam,” responded the first officer, “…please sit down.”
Derpy wearily dropped her flank onto an old wingback chair across from the police officers as they began to speak.
“Ms. Hooves,” began the first one, “It is with a great deal of regret that I inform you that your husband has been involved in an accident.”
Derpy felt her heart sink to the dark recesses of her stomach as the words impacted her eardrums like cannon balls. She sat silently, stunned at what she had just heard. The second police stallion continued where his partner left off.
“Your husband was walking down a street when a carriage came loose from its fittings. It lost control down a steep embankment and was heading towards the intersection he was walking to.”
Derpy could feel her throat tighten as the officers informed her of the horrific accident, which involved her husband.
“There was an infant on the cross walk, and in an act of bravery your husband sacrificed himself to save the colt.”
The moment the words left the officers lips, Derpy broke into a fit of despair and remorse. The first officer stood up and placed a consolidating hoof on the shoulder of the grieving widow.
“I’m so sorry,” he began, “but by the time the ambulance arrived there was nothing they could do.”
The second officer joined his partner at Derpy’s side and presented two objects to her. She looked up between broken sobs and noticed a bouquet of lilies, which were her favorite flower, and a delicately folded letter with her name printed on the front in her husbands writing.
“When we arrived, moments before he passed…” continued the second officer, “…he told us it was crucial that we deliver this to you.”
Derpy grabbed the two objects with shaking hooves while the officers stood in empathetic silence.
From their vantage point in the kitchen Derpy and Nimble examined the two officers dismissal by the grey grieving Pegasus. Nimble tipped his head to Derpy, silently commanding her to step into the living room. She watched as her pregnant memory stood up from the chair and walked around the living room, leaving the unopened letter on the coffee table. The faded bleak lighting seemed to swallow every morsel of hope and placidity, leaving nothing but a vacuum of melancholy and dolor. Eventually the distraught widow turned her attention back to the folded paper and sat down on the benign couch.
Her younger self reluctantly opened the letter with quivering hooves. The writing on the paper, brought tears to her eyes, as she read the contents of the note.
My dearest Derpy,
Words cannot describe how sorry I am for my actions these past few days. I have been far to short tempered with you during this time, and we both know that is the last thing you need.
I guess I’m nervous, excited for the filly inside your womb… our filly. It’s been a tough few days, and I know you’re cross with me, but I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I won’t blame you if you don’t but can we at least put this behind us and start a fresh slate?
I’m going to take the rest of the day off after I deliver this to you and close the post office. We can even go to that restaurant in Ponyville Plaza… what is it called, Sugar Cube Corner? Anyway, please accept these flowers as a gift of apology.
I will always love you no matter what happens.
You will always be my little muffin.
Sincerely
Your Loving Husband,
Nimble Bolt.
P.S. I’ve been thinking, and you’re right, Dinky is a great name. That’s why we’re going to name her that.
Nimble kissed Derpy on the cheek as the pregnant memory before her evaporated in a cloud of tears and despair. He brought her into a tight hug and squeezed her shuddering shoulders in an attempt to console her. He hated seeing his wife like this, and it tortured him realizing the pain she must have felt in the wake of his death.
“Don’t cry Derpy…” he hushed, “…it’s okay, it’s over. Don’t think twice, it’s alright.”
Derpy’s muffled sobs filled the room as she clung to her husband. Daring was right, this was much more difficult then the last three memories.
“I don’t want to let you go again,” she whimpered through gritted teeth.
Nimble squeezed tighter.
“Muffin, all things happen for a reason…” he started.
Derpy felt her heart melt hearing her pet name once again. He had called her that after their first date. The humbling memory brought tears tainted with joyful thoughts as she recalled their outing, clinging to anything that would keep her in the arms of her husband for just a moment longer.
“We don’t know why they happen…” he continued, “…but they do. Whether it’s something as simple as a drop of rain, to something as complex and intricate as death. What’s important to remember though is that no matter what may happen, love never dies. If you have the memories of the times spent with ones you held dear alive in your mind, then they too will be alive in your heart. Always remember me and love me, and I will always be by your side.”
Derpy broke down on the shoulder of her husband as the moment she would have to say goodbye grew imminent.
“I’ll always love you Derpy…” he whispered into her ear as he began to fade just like Virgo.
“You’ll always be my muffin…”
And as he began to disappear from her arms, he leant forward and passionately kissed his wife. Time slowed and Derpy pleaded in her mind for Nimble not to disappear. However, the pressure of his lips against hers and his body against her chest grew weaker and weaker. Eventually, his presence in her loving embrace was no more, and Derpy sat alone, widowed once again, in the living room of their house.
******
Houses lazily slipped by as Derpy and Daring walked through the deserted streets of Ponyville. She wiped the tears from her eyes and gazed upon the different landmarks and buildings, which made up the town she once called home.
“We are reaching the last legs of your journey, Derpy.” Said Daring.
Her face was still contorted in permanent anguish and torment.
“There is one final memory you must face. It is the most important one of all. It will be difficult, and you may wish to turn back. But, remember what I and the other four have told you before. You must move forward, press on and use your lessons learnt to aid you through the final stage of acceptance.”
Derpy was reluctant to continue. She wished more than anything to wake up in her bed and have this all be a bad dream. Wake up and find her daughter sleeping soundly beside her and all her friends willing to spend time together. But she knew that no matter how hard she pinched she would remain asleep. The only remedy to her eternal slumber would be to confront her past and accept it.
The familiar sight of Ponyville’s train station plaza materialized before her and she stepped forward ready to face her next memory. As she approached the station, she noticed that Daring was no longer by her side. Instead she stood patiently still at an alleyway entrance. As Derpy was about to call out to her and question why she had stopped, she realized something. Her final memory, the final lesson she had to learn was her death. She began to panic, trying to escape what she was not strong enough to face herself. However, as thoughts of doubt flooded her mind, a familiar youthful voice floated down from above, the voice of her daughter.
“MOMMY!” Dinky screamed as she tackled her mother with a hug.
Derpy laughed and returned her daughters exuberant embrace with one of her own. Seconds before, she was unsure of her ability to overcome her final lesson, however with her daughter as her guide she was ready.
“Oh Dinky,” said Derpy lovingly, “You have no idea how glad I am to see you.”
As the two were caught up laughing and hugging each other the station filled with ponies and on a bench sitting alone waiting for her daughter, was another projection of Derpy.
“Mommy look…” said Dinky, “…it’s you!”
Derpy stopped and quickly hoisted herself and her daughter onto their hooves.
From the farthest eastern side of the plaza the sound of light trotting from a filly became audible. Derpy and Dinky stood silently as they watched the copies of each other run and embrace much like they had moments before.
“Mommy!” said the memory of Dinky, “,look what I made in school for you today!”
Derpy smiled and took the picture of herself that her daughter had made and gave a nod of approval.
“Very good…” she said returning the painting, “but I’ll have to look at it again later, we’re going to miss our train.”
The duo ran up the steps of the busy train station and began to make their way to the platform. Ponies pushed and shoved each other as they attempted to make it to their own engagements on time.
The real Derpy and Dinky extended their wings and flew up onto a cloud, which overlooked the bustling station. From this point they had a direct sightline to the platform where the two apparitions of Derpy and Dinky stood together. Derpy mentally prepared herself for the suddenly approaching moment of truth as a lonesome train whistle ripped through the air.
“Look mommy, it’s the train,” said dinky who had shifted to the other side of the cloud.
Derpy couldn’t look, she couldn’t face what she knew was the end of her time spent alive. Instead, she stared at the mother and daughter who stood together on the platform. They laughed and hugged each other as they conversed lovingly. She watched as her double picked up Dinky and swung her back and forth like she used to when she was just a filly of one year old. It warmed her heart to see the unconditional love the two shared. In a bought of emotion Derpy twisted on the cloud and hugged her daughter as the train whistle sounded a second time as it approached the station. Dinky hugged her back and then spoke.
“You have to watch mommy…” she said sadly, “you have to see how you saved me. You have to see how I changed your life. You have to see and accept what happens.”
Derpy could hardly see through the tears, which distorted her vision. However she could make out a reckless business pony shoving his way through the crowd, and she could see the train drawing closer and closer to the station. Derpy wished she could fly down and warn herself of the impending disaster, but she knew her efforts of her labour would be fruitless. Time slowed to a crawl as the business pony knocked Dinky onto the tracks. Derpy’s clone shrieked as she saw her daughter laying stunned on the tracks.
“You need to accept it mommy,” said Dinky behind her, “You can’t go back.”
The train was only 15 meters from the station when Derpy watched herself jump onto the tracks and grab her comatose daughter.
“What happens changes your life more than anything else…” continued Dinky, “Your unconditional love for me, saved me… you sacrificed the most valuable thing you had to make sure I would be okay. I will never forget you mommy, but don’t worry I’ll be fine…”
The train was now only 10 meters away from the station.
“Why you might not be here, Rainbow Dash and everyone else is and they will take care of me for you. You have impacted the lives of so many ponies, and they will never forget you either.”
Derpy saw herself throw her daughter from the tracks. The train was 5 meters from impacting the grey Pegasus. Even though she was high up on the cloud, Derpy could swear that she felt the trains vibrations rattle her bones and shake her soul.
“It’s time for you to go now mommy,” said Dinky as she hugged her mother, “I love you.”
As the affectionate words resonated in Derpy’s ears, time slowed even more. She watched helplessly as the train closed in on its mortal target. As the metal monstrosities distance shrank from meters to mere centimeters, Derpy’s vision began to fade. Milliseconds before the final impact Derpy closed her eyes in acceptance as the world went black.
******
Derpy woke with a start in her bed. Panting heavily she looked around the darkened room and sighed happily. It was all just a dream. The train station, her mother, Dash, Virgo, Nimble and Dinky… all just a dre—
“Hello Derpy…”
Her heart sank: It wasn’t a dream. In the corner, shrouded by shadows, sat Daring Do.
“You have finished your journey… but you still need to claim your prize. You still need to complete contentment, for it to be completely found. You must move on from this place to finish its assembly.”
Daring stood from her chair and opened the blinds, which blocked out the sunshine.
“You have awoken here in your bed…” she continued, “…so that you may bid adieu to your home. I will be waiting at the train station when you are finished.”
Daring walked out of the bedroom, leaving Derpy to ponder her next actions. With a disheartening sigh, Derpy left her bed and walked around her old bedroom. Pictures of her and Nimble were hung carefully on the walls. She gently brushed her hoof against a particular frozen image of their wedding day. Both ponies had been captured with the biggest grins on their faces, as they nuzzled each others noses. Reluctantly, the lonesome grey Pegasus left her room for the last time, and entered the rest of the deserted house.
Room by room Derpy made her way through her home. Recalling memories of jovial times spent with her daughter and her husband. Eventually she entered the living room, the last room left in the cottage. Derpy ran her hooves sombrely over the velvet couch and admired the room she had spent so many cold winter evenings in. With nothing left for her to do in her home, Derpy turned towards the door. As she was leaving she grabbed the key to the front lock that was always left on the counter by the door. Her mail mare saddlebags hung diligently on a coat rack, and she listlessly slipped into them. She knew it was pointless to be locking the door and preparing herself as if it just another day of the week, but she did it any way. It helped calm the reality the situation, fooling herself into thinking that whatever this was, was normal. Dying... just another we do.
With one final look into the building she had spent years making a home out of, she shut the door and twisted the key in the lock. Ready to face what lay ahead she planned out a route in her mind, which would take her past all the places in Ponyville she held dear. The first was a post office, where her boss, Virgo, her father had so willingly let her work. With a sigh Derpy rested on the white picket fence that lined the property. She recalled her time spent working and living in the post office, remembering all the good times she had shared with the closest thing she had to a father..
As houses slipped by Derpy focused upon the path, which would take her past the church where she was wed to Nimble Bolt. She stopped for a moment letting the joy of her wedding day return to her heart and warm her soul. She closed her eyes and pictured her husbands welcoming face. Derpy lowered her head and continued on her path to solace.
The next structure she stopped at was a Grecian styled home with large cloud columns, much like the ones at flight school, supporting it. Memories of summer evenings and adventures had with Rainbow Dash, her first real friend, flooded her mind and drowned her thoughts. She silently said thank you to the empty house, in hopes that somewhere, some how, the rainbow maned Pegasus would hear her.
With no other places left to go, Derpy turned herself towards the path that would take her back into the heart of Ponyville, back to the train station. She languidly stepped down the cobble stone streets of her hometown. Derpy admired every single building that stood proudly on either side of her. Their emptiness and eerie silence seemed to wave goodbye as their friend marched in her own parade of amelioration. Eventually, the train stations plaza and the regal fountain that Derpy had waited on her final day in Equestria came into view.
As she walked up the stairs of the forlorn station she thought of the memories it was shackled to like a imprisoned criminal. When she was just a little filly and her mother abandoned her, all the way to her final moments alive.
Daring Do stood patiently in front of a train, which Derpy presumed had a destination specifically chosen for her. The gap between the two Pegasi closed and Derpy felt her throat tighten in distress.
“It is time…” said Daring, “…It is time to move on. However, you must say goodbye first”
The adventurer motioned behind Derpy. When she turned around she saw the five ponies that affected her life the most standing, smiling comfortingly behind her.
Derpy simpered happily as tears of remembrance and recollection streamed down her face. One by one she went and said goodbye to every single one of them.
She stood in front of her mother as she reminded her of what her lessons was.
“Remember Derpy…” she began, “…always forgive yourself and others. If not for yourself or your friends… for me.”
Derpy smiled at her mother for the first and last time in over 20 years.
“I love you mom… even if you did abandon me.” She said.
As the grey Pegasus stepped back, and her mother opened her saddlebags and placed a small stuffed bunny inside. Derpy tilted her head and turned her attention to the cyan Pegasus she called a friend.
“Hey kid…” said Dash, “Remember all the fun we had together?”
Derpy nodded.
“Good, don’t ever forget it. Always stay loyal to your friends, and they will always return the favor.”
Derpy leapt forward and surprised the headstrong Pegasus with friendly loving embrace. Dash reached under her wings and retrieved two friendship bracelets that they had made so many years ago.
“Thanks Dash, for being my friend… goodbye.” Whimpered Derpy
The rainbow maned Pegasus smiled. Dash raised her hoof which now sported the leather band: A totem to to remind them of their friendship.
“Don’t look so glum…” she said as she placed the other bracelet into her bag along with a cerulean majestic feather from her wing, “It’s not goodbye… it’s just see you later.”
With that Derpy turned her focus to the next pony in line, Virgo.
“Hey there kiddo…” he said warmly.
Derpy also brought her father into a tight embrace as she thanked him for the years of parenting and loving he had bestowed upon her.
“Don’t ever give up…” he whispered, “Determination and persistence are the keys to success.”
The grey Pegasus held her father at arms length.
“Thank you Dad… for everything, I love you.” She said
Virgo smiled and placed a portrait of the daughter and father, with permanent smiles plastered onn their faces, into her saddlebag.
“Till we meet again Derpy…” he cooed, “…till we meet again.”
With a warmed heart Derpy turned towards Nimble Bolt, her husband and before he could say anything kissed him on the lips. When she pulled away he was smiling and amorously placed a lily behind her ear. With is other hoof he took Derpy’s and placed a golden wedding ring in her palm.
“Love never dies Derpy. As long as you have the memories of loved ones in your mind and in your heart they will always be with you.” Nimble paused and stared deeply into her eyes, “I will always love you… you will always be my muffin.”
Derpy leant forward and kissed her husband one last time.
“Thank you Nimble…” she sobbed, “…thank you for loving me.”
Smiling, Derpy placed the wedding ring into her saddlebag and turned her attention to the last of the five ponies, her daughter.
“Hi mommy!” squealed Dinky.
Derpy laughed and swung her daughter between her legs while laughter erupted from the 6 year old Unicorn. Dinky placed her hooves back on the ground before wrapping her mother with her forelegs.
“I love you mommy,” she said, “but you need to accept what has happened and move on. I’ll be fine, why you might not be here, Rainbow Dash and everyone else is and they will take care of me for you. You have impacted the lives of so many ponies, and we will never forget you.”
Her tears now streaming like a raging river, Derpy squeezed her daughter tighter then ever before.
“I love you Dinky…” she wept, “…more so than you’ll ever know.”
Dinky reached behind her, and pulled out a drawing of her mother and herself. They were frozen in time together encased by the crimson out line of a heart. Written at the bottom in childish script were the words.
Me and My Mommy
Derpy let out sob as she grabbed the picture from her daughter, placed it in her bag and shared one last embrace with Dinky.
Her saddlebags now laden with items that would remind her of her loved ones and the time they spent together, she turned to face the next and final stage.
Without hesitation she lifted her hoof and stepped towards Daring Do and the train. As she approached, Daring removed her Keffiyeh and welcomed the sorrowful Pegasus.
“It is time…” she said once again. “But I am afraid I cannot join you on the last leg of your journey.”
Daring grabbed the handle of the train car and opened it for Derpy.
“I and all your friends and family have prepared you the best we can for this moment. Now it is up to you to use the lessons you have learnt to complete your quest. I am also afraid to tell you that I have lied.”
Daring hung her head in bereavement.
“I told you that there were five ponies you must meet. Five ponies who affected your life the most.” Confessed Daring, “However, I didn’t tell you about the sixth pony, the last pony. In order for you to find complete contentment you must confront yourself. You must look at yourself and accept who you were and who you are. Only then will you truly be able to move on and choose what happens for yourself. Use the lessons you’ve learnt, the memories you have and the ponies you’ve met to aid in your decision. But be wary, just like now, you cannot go back. You will not remember me, or what I have done. You will only remember your memories of your friends and family, and the times you spent together.”
Derpy smiled reassuringly and hugged the permanently solemn guide.
“Thank you…” she whispered, “…Thank you for helping me.”
Then with one last humbling glance at the town where she used to live, and the ponies that she had met during her quest, she turned towards the train and stepped inside. Daring shut the door behind her as the train lurched forward and she stepped back. Derpy watched from the window as her mother, her oldest friend, her father, her husband, her daughter and her guide all waved goodbye. The train began to pick up speed and let out a harrowing whistle. The station disappeared from the side of the train as Derpy made her final departure. She strained to see her friends, her family and her town, as they became specks on the horizon. When it became impossible for her to distinguish where the town once stood, Derpy turned her head. She was ready now. Ready to move forward. In her eyes she was perfect. She had lived a life that was, while short, beautiful and content. Now it was time to say goodbye. Goodbye to her friends, goodbye to her family, goodbye to her home and goodbye to her life. She had made her decision, and was ready to face whatever lay ahead.
The grey Pegasus lowered a window on the train to solace and contentment and saw a sparrow flying beside her car. She admired its beauty, its elegant form, and its serene choreography as it flew. Eventually it broke away from the train, and just like the mollified spirit of a cross-eyed, blond maned, grey pony, was gently blowing in the wind.
