Visitors from above

Today was a good day for Aragorn Taal'Usul Nol Karma Tas'Firma, a manticore of the Everfree forest, which will be referred to as "Bob" since the author is too lazy to re-write that name over and over again. Anyway, Bob had grabbed enough fish in the river to feed his family for a week. Lucky Bob ! However, on the way back to his cave, he saw something quite peculiar. Six of the strangest ponies he ever saw were walking through the woods.

Not only did he rarely see any pony daring to come in the forest, but he could see chunks of timberwolves lying on the burned ground of a path and remains of a cockatrice which apparently was unlucky enough to cross these ponies' way. Bob stood there for a moment, staring blankly at the battlefield, though a battlefield would imply a long and epic fight : this one couldn't have a longer duration than 20 seconds. After a while, Bob decided to take a resolution : never again will he drink that weird minotaur booze. Never.

-Meanwhile, Ponyville-

Today wasn't a very good day for Twilight Sparkle. Long story, but she had come to a conclusion : all of the ponies in this town were absolutely crazy. So since it wasn't a very good day, she hoped she would have a good night at least. Fat chance. Spike finally drifted into sleep, after participating to the first party of his life. It was hard to forget about the excitement. It was even harder to ignore the constant knocking on the door, at 3:00AM. Wait. "SPIKE," yelled Twilight. "Go get it !" And who was he to refuse a direct order from Princess Celestia's only and most faithful student ?

It could've been anyone, really, maybe Pinkie Pie forgot one of her balloons, maybe Rarity came to meet him personally, maybe-Twilight's now angered yelling brang him back to reality. He quickly ran to the door, opened, and faced ... a unicorn. A shiver went down his spine. He had nothing against unicorns, really, his best friend was a unicorn. But his best friend wasn't a three-eyed cosmonaut brain. "T-Twilight," he said hesitantly. "You're gonna want to see this."

The six of them were surprised. Well, make it five, Voltar's analysis had shown him that reptiles were sapient too. And they talked too, not bad at all, and very interesting. "Greetings, native, ve come in peace." Not the best way to greet someone, but it was close enough. The lizard in front of him took a worried glance at all of his visitors and replied

"Sure, sure, hello ... Twilight, you coming ?" Four limbs were climbing down the stairs. Voltar was glad he could finally compare his work to the actual autochtones. His reaction was one of pride when he saw the incoming unicorn, as she looked exactly like him or Yuri. However, her reaction wasn't the one he really expected. Who would take eyes rolling up and collapsing a welcoming sign ?

"Is vhat normal ?" He asked. The lizard took a pause, before answering :

"What do you consider normal ?" Voltar obviously didn't get what the little reptile was talking about. What could've been so wrong that the lavender unicorn collapsed ?

"Dude," started the light blue pegasus behind him. "You're a three-eyed brain in a glass bulb".

It took a moment for the idea to hit his head, but he finally got it. "Ah" he said.

This definitely wasn't a good night neither for Twilight Sparkle. She just had a horrible dream of some sort of alien pony with a brain instead of a head. However, when she opened her eyes, it wasn't the warm light of the sun that greeted her, but some green myst. She did what anypony rational would do in this situation. She screamed. At least she tried, but a giant hoof landed on her mouth before she could do anything.

"Little pony no scream," said a robotic voice above her. "Don't want to wake entire village. Look at Clunk, little pony. Clunk is nice pony." She did, and, except for the glowing yellow eyes, which were scary enough, couldn't help but to notice how big this stallion was. Probably bigger than the farmer from earlier's big brother. Eventually, she calmed down.

"So," she said, not hyperventilating anymore. "You aren't here to kidnap me ?" Collective nod. "And you just want to find a job ?" Collective nod again. "And you," she said, pointing a hoof at Voltar. "Aren't a mutant zompony ?" A single nod and a look of indignation were enough. "Finally, you would like to stay in the library for the night, right ?" They nodded again. "You can sleep here. On the floor. I don't have any spare room ..." of course she was lying, but she couldn't trust these six already. Since it looked like they were okay with it, she just went back to sleep. She was now going to have a good night. What was left of it, anyway.

The next morning didn't look like a very good morning for Twilight Sparkle. She would even go as far as to say it was the beggining of a bad day. First of all, she was very tired. Try feeling good after sleeping at 4:00AM. Second of all, there were six crazed ponies in her living room. Finally, she had to attend to the Summer Sun Celebration, as fast as possible. She quickly ate breakfast and woke her guests up.

She didn't mind the confused faces when she mentioned the Celebration to her guests, not like her brain would allow her to mind anything anyway. This day was getting a little brighter, as Princess Celestia was going to raise the sun. Or was supposed to, anyway. As the curtains opened, they revealed ... nothing. Nothing at all. Collective gasp from the crowd. Collective scream of horror, when a giant winged pegasus made her appearance, claimed herself to be "Nightmare Moon, the mare on the moon" and swore to bring eternal night upon Equestria. This was a very bad day for Ponyvillians.

Our six mercenaries got away from the panicking ponies and started discussing. "So Yuri, ever mangled some of dem humans back in yer space station thing ?" Asked a bored Lonestar.

"No. What kind of question is that ?!" And so started quite the argument between five ponies. Until a certain unicorn broke into the conversation.

"Men, ve have bigger business to discuss than vhat Clunk vas doing as a cleaning robot. As much as eternal night doesn't concern uns at all, ve should consider vhe possibilities : vhis Nightmare Moon doesn't look so tough compared to vhat ve faced, so I say ve give it a shot." Collective nod. Who wouldn't listen to the biggest egghead in the universe ?

"I ain't against yo at all," said Froggy. "But what can we do to save da day ? We've got no idea 'bout where that Nightmare miss went".

"Ze frog has a point" said Leon, who just finished giving his point of you of wether cheese should be considered sacred or not.

"Vhich is vhy I eavesdropped our host's conversation vith her new friends. Nightmare Moon vent into vhe Everfree forest, vhich is our crashing site. Vhe plan is simple from hier : ve get in vhe old castle, beat vhe pegasus up, and get her to free vhe sun princess !" This was a brilliant plan. Not flawless, but brilliant, and they were going to do it. Because they were the Awesomenauts.

-Later, the Everfree forest-

"Clunk does not understand. Why not kill Manticore of legend ?" Asked a slightly bothered stallion.

"Because vhey are endangered," answered a slightly annoyed unicorn. "Besides, it had a thorn in it's foot, it wouldn't really bother us". The six crazed ponies delved deeper into the forest, until they met a river. Of course, they could swim, but the water seemed quite agitated, for a simple reason : there was a whinning leviathan in it.

"Oh blimey ! Why, why, why ?" Said the creature, crying. A lot.

"What's up ?" Asked Froggy G in his extreme subtility, almost reaching the size of a bacteria.

"Oh, my beautiful mustache ! Cut off ! Disappeared ! Ay me !" Said the monster between two tears. This was an obstacle for the Awesomenauts.

But not too much of one, as Leon came to the sea serpent and told him "Hé, l'ami, I know ze best way to make it grow back ..."

He took a pause for the effect, earning a plead from the other "Tell me ! I'll do anything !"

He grinned before declaring "Très simple ! Hold still for three minutes ! Don't move at all, and it will come back to you !"

It was a bad day for Steve. This purple cloud had cut off his magnificient mustache ! Fortunately, these ponies were kind enough to teach him how to have it back ! So he waited, staying as still as possible. He gazed at a tree, focusing on it as much as he could. He could see a bird nest. He counted the eggs. He counted the cracks in them. But he didn't feel his mustache at all. "Do you really think it's going to-" they were gone. "Oh blimey !" He said, turning the water into a giant deathtrap again.

Nothing interrupted the mercenaries' trip now. Well, there was this bridge, but it broke right after Clunk passed. Lucky them. They were now right in front of a seemingly very old castle. They were about to enter, when Voltar yelled "HALT ! Ve cannot go vhere now." The others looked suspiciously at him

"And why not, eh ?" Asked Lonestar, ready to jump face first into the hall.

"Very simple," replied Voltar. "Miss Twilight Sparkle is required to defeat Nightmare Moon. So ve vait." And waiting they did. They started playing go fish, until six figures came out of the woods. "Vhere they are, said Voltar, let us move !"

And so they followed them into the dark castle ...