There was a small child named Malcolm, who really loved adventure. He had next to null friends, and was about to attend his first year of middle school.

“HEY BITCH! GET DOWN HERE FOR YOUR PIE! ITS TIME FOR SCHOOL, RETARD!”

Malcolm, really hating his mother, decided to grab his stuff and jump out the window, instead of going downstairs in order to avoid his mother, named Mama Flippin' June. Before he jumped out the window, he grabbed his bed sheets so he could use them as a parachute, so that he didn't do the flop.

He conveniently landed on top of a car, which in turn had the keys sitting on its hood. So, he got in the car and drove to school. It was later he got fucked by the po-po. The po-po was also very magical.

About half way there, a cop got in the way. He used a nearby ramp to go over the vehicle, which is what started the chase. Malcolm got out of his car, and grabbed a pen.

The cops turned out to be some sort of demon thingies. After a very dramatic pause, one po-po said “Hey there, little boy. I came to kill you!”

Malcolm twisted the cap of his pen because of how scared he was. Surprisingly, it turned into a Rainbow Dash fan! The Rainbow Dash fan, named Riptide [sorry Riptide], fought off the po-po. Then, Riptide turned into a pen again. “Woah! My pen-is magical!” shouted Malcolm. Then, he ran to school.

Once he got to school, he met a friend. His friend was Sam, who was just a drone, living in his screen. Day by day, he wondered what his life meant. Anyways, Sam had to go to the bathroom. Malcolm followed him, because Sam was the only child preventing Malcolm from being bullied by assholes.

Malcolm got bored and decided to watch Sam with his super tiny-microscopic spy drone. What Malcolm saw was amazing. Sams poop... it was blue. Malcolm broke through the door, push Sam over, and put some of the poop in a plastic bag. Then, he rubbed some of the poop on his own face.

When Malcolm noticed his vision swirling and all that jazz, he shouted, “Bye Microsoft Sam!”.

Author's Note

There's a reference to the music producer Renard in this. Try to find it!