My Little Caboose: Blue is Magic!

by DarkWing

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Tragedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance, Original Character
Length: 340123

What happens when the Reds and Blues finally get Church out of the Epsilon unit? Caboose decides he wants a turn in the unit, of course! What happens next? Well let's just say he always did say he wanted a pony, now he has a world full of them.

What happens when the Reds and Blues finally get Church out of the Epsilon unit? Caboose decides he wants a turn in the unit, of course! What happens next? Well let's just say he always did say he wanted a pony, now he has a world full of them.

[Before asking questions in the comments, please read!]
- The first chapter is the end of the ninth season. I put it there just to ease the flow of the story.
- You will probably be extremely confused if you have not seen the last two seasons of Red vs Blue.
- You will probably be even MORE confused if you have never heard of Caboose.
- I placed a series of hyphens to show when the story becomes my own work during the prologue.
- Click here to watch the series if you have not.
- FAQ

Uploaded to FimFiction: Monday, March 5th, 2011 at 2:30 PM.
Uploaded to RvBfics: Monday, March 26th, 2011 at 11:50 PM.
Linked on Bungie.net: Saturay, March 31st, 2011 at 3:29 AM.

Proofread/Edited By - Pissfer

Current Title Image:
The Group by ~Butts-are-Nice

Past Title Images:
Caboose and Pinkie by ~SarahWidiyanti
Caboose and Pinkie by ~Farore769
Church and Twilight by ~Farore769

Dramatic Readings:
ShadowflashMLP

Fan Art:
Caboose's Drawing by ~Depressing Rain

Published 2012-03-05 18:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-03-05 23:46:23 UTC

Chapter 1 - "Rough Landing"

"Oh my goodness what was that?" Yelled a small, soothing voice. "Hey! There's somepony in here! Help."

"Hey the ground is hugging me!" Caboose said, nuzzling the small crater in which he created. "I love you too ground, thank you for the hug."

"And he seems to be hurt!" Yelled the same pony, making her way down the crater. "Sir, are you okay?"

"Yes I am okay, thank you for asking ground!" Caboose said, slowly getting up and trembling slightly. "I think you hugged too hard, I can't feel my body!"

The pony got to the bottom of the hole and walked up to Caboose.

"Sir, calm down I'll go get help." The pony said.

"Hello there." Caboose said, not noticing the blood rush he was feeling. "May I interest you in some cook- cookies?"

"What?" The pony asked nervously.

Caboose then fell down on all fours barely conscious.

"Stop it ground... people are watching!" Caboose whispered.

He then collapsed onto the ground, completely unconscious.

"I think he is waking up." A pony said softly. "Excuse me, are you alright?"

"My mouth tastes just like high school!" Caboose said, starting to wake up.

"What?" A different pony asked. "Your face was bleeding everywhere. Some blood must have gotten in your mouth."

"Yep," Caboose said, trying to sit up. "Just like high school."

Caboose went to grab his forehead where he was having one of his brain owies but stopped when he noticed he did not have hands to grab with.

"Oh no! They took my hands!" Caboose yelled. "Do you know what happened to my hands?"

All the ponies in the room took a quick glance at each other.

"Who are you?" A blue pony asked, not sure how to answer his question.

"My name is Caboose. But some people just call me Blue!" He said, looking around, finally noticing he was surrounded by ponies. This pleased him immensely. "My best friend calls me "Caboose, stop talking" so I guess you can call me that too if you want."

"Oh, well it's nice to meet you Caboose!" The purple unicorn said, extending her front leg towards him.

"Who is Caboose?" He asked, as his voice suddenly changed to be more quiet. "Is he mean?"

"I thought you just said your name was Caboose." A yellow pegasus said.

"You mean I have a twin?" Caboose asked excitedly.

"What?" The yellow one asked. "No. I don't know."

"Oh Caboose!" Caboose yelled in a sad voice. "You were my only twin and I never got the chance to tell you how much I loved you. I will miss you almost as much as I miss Andersmith!"

"I'm beginning to think that he belongs in a hospital for the mentally ill, not the physically ill." The white unicorn whispered to the purple one.

"What are you talking about?" Caboose yelled, obviously misunderstanding what she had said. "I don't have any Mentos!"

"Hey, uh, Caboose." The purple unicorn said. "Do you remember anything before being in the hospital?"

"Oh yes I remember lots of things." Caboose said, lost in deep thought. "Like my twin Caboose. Oh, I should go get him! He's a lot like me. I think. I don't know, I've never met him."

"So you've said." The purple unicorn said to him, then she leaned over and whispered to the orange pony. "Go get the doctor, we need to find out if he's... alright."

The orange pony nodded and left the room. The other ponies got a bit closer to Caboose.

"Uh, well my name is Twilight Sparkle." The purple one said. "The pony that just left is called Applejack."

"My name is Fluttershy. I'm the one that brought you here." The yellow one said.

"You have pretty wings!" Caboose said.

"Oh. Thank you." Fluttershy said, blushing slightly.

"My name is Rarity." The white unicorn said, extending her hoof.

Caboose stared at it for several seconds. "Oh sorry, I haven't done this in a while." Caboose then surprised Rarity, giving her a hoof bump.

"Oh. How... quaint." Rarity said, taking a step back.

"Sorry if I was a little rusty. Most of the time, when somebody shows me their hands, it's either to hit me, or to hit me even harder than that." Caboose then turned to a floating blue pegasus. "Church! How did you get up there? And where did you get a jetpack?

"Who's Church?" Asked the blue floating pony. "My name is Rainbow Dash."

"Oh." Caboose asked again. "And where did you get the jetpack?"

"What? These?" Rainbow Dash said, pointing to her wings. "These are wings. You just complimented Fluttershy on her wings. You must have hit your head really hard or something."

"Yeah I tend to do that a lot, and then I always end up in a hospital and end up talking to random ponies, and then end up having a good time. But then Tucker tells me to stop writing in my diary because he says writing in a diary is for little girls." Caboose said, then lowered his voice expecting Tucker was near. "I wrote that down in my diary."

"I love meeting new ponies!" A pink pony said, shooting out from under his bed.

"Me too! Hey, how did you get down there?" Asked Caboose. "Is Narnia down there?"

"No silly!" The pink one said. She then leaned in and whispered. "There's three Narnias down there."

Pinkie, however, did not actually know what Narnia was.

"Three Narnias?" Caboose thought to himself. "That's more than two Narnias!"

"Pinkie, stop it." Twilight said, pushing Pinkie away from Caboose. "Are you well?"

"Yes." Caboose said. "I'm very well, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Twilight said smiling. "I'm glad you're alright."

"I'm not alright." Caboose said. "I'm Caboose. What is your name?"

Before Twilight could answer him, a beige pony wearing a white coat stepped in.

"Hello, what is your name?" He asked.

"My name is Caboose. I was named after my twin, but if you want you can call me alright." Caboose replied.

"Uh-huh." The doctor said, checking off the 'delirious' box on the patient log. "Do you think you can walk?"

"I don't know let me try." Caboose said.

Caboose then tried to get up on his hind hooves, but then he just fall flat on his face. He tried doing it again and nearly fell out a window, but Rainbow Dash quickly stopped him and put him on all fours.

"Thank you lady." Caboose said.

"Alright, er, Caboose did you say it was? Are you feeling anything right now?" The doctor asked.

"No I am not feeling anything. But I would like to be feeling a puppy." Caboose sighed happily. "Puppies are soft."

"No, what I mean is, are you feeling stressed right now?" The doctor asked. "Happy? Tired? Hungry?"

"I am always happy." Caboose said. "I only ever stop to be not happy when I am sad."

"Mhm." The doctor muttered. This is going to be a long day...

Chapter 2 - "Thinking Time"

"Well?" Twilight asked after roughly thirty minutes of back and forth between Caboose and himself.

"Well, he certainly is a little disoriented, but I believe that is due to the crash." The doctor explained. "He has no broken bones, which is very lucky, so I suggest you take him home."

"We should throw a party to celebrate his good health!" Pinkie Pie said, letting out a large gasp.

"Pinkie, we don't even know him." Rainbow Dash said. "Why should we throw a party for him?"

"I don't know." Pinkie answers truthfully. "I think he is kind of nice. A little weird, but who doesn't like being weird sometimes?"

Pinkie Pie then cartwheeled into the room Caboose is in. "How did you do that? Is it magic?"

Twilight couldn't help but smile, "Thank you Dr. Stables. Come on Caboose, it's time to get out of here."

"But the bed is so comfy." Caboose whimpered.

"Yeah, but we’re throwing you a party." Pinkie said, giggling.

"Where?" Caboose said. "On the bed?"

"No silly, where would you get that idea?" Pinkie said, raising her brow, still smiling.

"Oh, just my friend Tucker." Caboose said. "Well he's not really my friend, but he always says he has parties with my sister in his bed. One time I asked him if I could come and he said only two people were allowed and occasionally a third person, like my mother, could go too."

"Who ever heard of a party with that few people?" Pinkie asked.

"That is exactly what I said!" Caboose agreed. He then noticed her mane. "Is your hair made of cotton candy?"

"No it just looks like it." Pinkie giggled, tilting her head to the side to give Caboose a better look.

"Come on guys let's get out of here, the doctor said Caboose is free to go." Twilight said. "He needs this room for other patients."

"Alright then. Just let me pack my things." Caboose said.

"What things?" Fluttershy asked apologetically. "When I found you you had nothing near you. Don't tell me I left one of your belongings there."

"Well I guess I'm done packing then." Caboose said, jumping out of the hospital bed. "I always feel good after packing my stuff up. Hey what is that?" Caboose sprinted out of the room, faster than he had ever run before.

"Somethin' ain't right with that boy." Applejack said.

"Oh well, let's go get him before he causes any damage," groaned Twilight.

The girls soon caught up with Caboose, who was demanding a lollipop for being in the hospital.

"I'm sorry sir, but the lollipops are for the little ones." The receptionist stated.

"Please, I've been a good boy this year!" Caboose pleaded. "I promise."

The receptionist rolled her eyes and gave in. "Fine you can take one, and only one."

"I heard two!" Caboose yelled, taking two and walking up to Pinkie Pie. "Here you go. I got one for you."

Pinkie Pie was never given anything by a stallion before unless it was her birthday. Pinkie Pie blushed slightly and kissed Caboose on the cheek.

"Aw, thanks Caboose." Pinkie said, glancing over at the bowl of lollipops. "Hang on, I'll be right back."

Pinkie Pie ran up to the receptionist at the counter and asked if she could have a lollipop. The receptionist decided she would stop arguing and just give the bowl to her. Pinkie Pie then hopped happily back to Caboose and gave him the entire bowl.

"This is the single greatest moment of my life." Caboose said, blushing. "No that one. No wait, that one was pretty good too. I like where this moment is going."

Pinkie Pie and Caboose moved towards the doorway of the hospital, both munching on lollipops.

"This one is blue! Just like you!" Pinkie Pie said.

"Oh my gosh!" Caboose yelled. "You can talk!"

The girls stood back, staring at the pair as they skipped out the door.

"It's like having a second Pinkie Pie." Rarity asserted.

"I got a bad feelin' bout this one girls." Applejack said, frowning.

"You got that spine tingling sensation too?" Twilight asked.

All the girls shared a nervous giggle.

"Equestria is doomed." Twilight said jokingly, as the mares got over their shock and hurried after the dynamic duo

"So when is this party going to happen?" Caboose asked.

"It’s a surprise." Pinkie giggled.

"A surprise?" Caboose yelled with excitement, grabbing onto Pinkies hooves, spinning in circles. "And it's not even my birthday! You are amazing!"

"You are pretty amazing yourself." Pinkie Pie said, winking at him.

"Only two people have ever said that to me before..." Caboose said. "And you are the first."

Applejack laughed. "I hafta admit, his innocence kinda makes him fun to have around."

"I have to say," Rarity said, watching Pinkie Pie and Caboose prance in circles. "Out of the six of us, Pinkie Pie is the one I least expected to find a stallion that matched her personality so... perfectly."

"Yeah." Twilight agreed, beginning to get a little worried. "Hey Caboose, I don't mean to bother you but... do you have any real friends?"

Caboose stopped dancing with Pinkie Pie and looked over at Twilight. He then looked at the ground and placed the bowl of lollipops down beside him and sat on the grass. Caboose was always caught up doing things Church and Tucker always wanted to do that he never really thought about how close they actually are.

"Well, the only two people I usually talk to are Tucker and Church. But Tucker is always mean to me, and Church is a bit too serious so I never felt that close to him. I think the only reason I call him my friend is because he doesn't yell at me all the time." Caboose said somberly, beginning to tear up. "I guess the answer to your question is no. I don't have any real friends."

"You don't know anypony else?" Rarity asked.

"Not really. I mean, there are a few people that live near me and Church and Tucker, but they are always calling me names. I don't like them very much." He said, now realizing that his old life wasn't that great and that nobody truly appreciates him. "If you excuse me, I think I want to be alone right now."

And with that, Caboose walked away, head down, sniffling softly to try and find a place to think.

"What is wrong with you ponies? Why would you say something like that?" Pinkie Pie yelled. "He barely came out of the hospital ten minutes ago and you guys are already making fun of him?"

"Pinkie, we’re just-" Twilight started to object, but Pinkie Pie ran after Caboose in an effort to catch up with him.

Twilight couldn't help but feel a strong pang of guilt.

Chapter 3 - "Sadboose"

"Caboose, where are you?" Pinkie Pie yelled, trying to find her new friend.

He was not answering. Why would Twilight ask a question like that? As much as Twilight knows, she sure doesn't know how to meet new ponies. After running around Ponyville for a couple minutes she soon saw the blue stallion, sitting alone on a bridge over a stream. She also saw that his eyes were wet.

"Caboose what's wrong?" Pinkie Pie asked, taking a seat next to Caboose, putting her foreleg over his shoulder.

"Nothing." Caboose said, letting out a deep sigh. "It's just that sometimes I remember who I am."

"Oh?" Pinkie Pie asked, raising her brow. "And who are you?"

"A loser." Caboose said. "Everyone I have ever met always points out my flaws. They never try to get to know the actual me. And something tells me that's because they don't want to."

"I don't think you're a loser." Pinkie Pie said, nuzzling Caboose’s neck.

"Thanks, but I know how you really feel." Caboose said, shaking his head, slowly pushing her off. "I know that you are just saying that to make me go away. Tucker does that all the time. Mostly after he calls me a name and I start feeling bad."

Pinkie Pie looked straight into Caboose’s eyes, "If I wanted you to go away then why would I come looking for you silly?" Pinkie Pie asked, smiling lightly.

Caboose looked back at Pinkie Pie who was giving him a smile. He then leaned in and gave her a quick peck on the lips. Pinkie Pie was surprised by this and brought her head back, blushing ever so slightly.

"Sorry." Caboose said, thinking that he had scared her off. "I promise I won't do that again. I was caught up in the moment."

"Ah it's okay." Pinkie said, waving her hoof to show him that it was nothing. Pinkie then looked back into Caboose’s eyes, leaned in and pecked him back. Caboose blushed and fell backwards, landing on the bridge. He was starting to get back to his old self.

"I think I like you." Caboose said, smiling now.

"Aw, I like you too." Pinkie said. "I'm glad you're my friend."

"A friend." Caboose thought to himself, smiling wider than he ever had before.

"How about we go back and get that party started." Pinkie said, jumping around.

"Okay." Caboose said happily. He then started walking forward, then soon found himself stopping. "But I think your friends don't like me."

"Don't mind them, they just haven't gotten to know you yet." Pinkie said, raising her hoof. "I'm sure they'll love you once they get to know you."

"Thank you." Caboose said with a large smile on his face. "I didn't realize how much words could heal until it was my turn."

Caboose grabbed Pinkie’s hoof and Pinkie smiled back.

"You know, we could start the party a bit later." Pinkie Pie said. "Maybe I could show you around town."

"I would like that." Caboose said excitedly.

"I think I know where we should go first." Pinkie said, leading Caboose with her.

After about five minutes of walking and they found themselves in front of-

"A GIANT GINGERBREAD HOUSE!" Caboose yelled, hopping up and down excitedly. "It's like at the end of the year when I leave one for Santa, but there are no bite marks in this one."

"You're silly." Pinkie giggled as she opened the door. "Mr. and Mrs. Cake? Are you here?"

"Yes Pinkie, we're just baking a batch of sweets right now." Replied Mrs. Cake.

"Well, take a look around Caboose." Pinkie said.

Caboose slowly let go of Pinkie Pie’s hoof and started doing what she said. He glanced everywhere and soon realized that he was surrounded by many tasty things.

"Oh my gosh! They have cupcakes!" Caboose yelled. "And cookies. And muffins. AND THEY EVEN HAVE CUPCAKES!"

Mr. and Mrs. Cake walked out of the back, both holding platters upon platters of tasty treats. Caboose’s heart nearly exploded.

"Who is your friend?" Mrs. Cake asked, putting the food on display.

"Oh this is Caboose." Pinkie said. "We met in the hospital."

"Oh, I hope it wasn't anything too serious." Mrs. Cake said with a worried expression on her face.

"Oh don't worry about me. It wasn't THAT big of a fall." Caboose said, now looking at Mrs. Cake’s hair. "Your hair looks like icing!"

Mrs. Cake raised her brow at him. "Is he... alright?"

"No I’m Caboose. Why do people keep calling me alright?"

Pinkie giggled and went around to the back of the counter and opened it.

"So, do you want anything to eat?" Pinkie asked.

"Yes please! I would like a cupcake." Caboose said, now looking into Pinkies eyes once again.

"Sure thing! Which one do you want?" She asked.

Looking at all of the sweet treats that he could choose he thought he would have a tough time choosing from all of them. But he found the treat he wanted right away.

"I want the pink one." Caboose said.

Pinkie Pie looked at Caboose and couldn't help but smile. Mr. and Mrs. Cake looked at each other, giving each other a soft smile. Pinkie gave a big and pink cupcake to Caboose, and then she grabbed a blue one for herself. She used her free hoof to grab onto Caboose’s free hoof to lead him out.

"Thank you for the cupcakes Mrs. Cake." Pinkie said, now out the door.

"Thank you for the cupcakes!" Caboose yelled. When he was out of the door and the when the door shut he yelled once again. "Oh my gosh it's a gingerbread house!"

"You already said that." Pinkie giggled.

"Oh I know, I just like pretending. It makes everything much more fun." Caboose said, finishing his cupcake. "And I like having fun."

"I like having fun too." Pinkie said. She then stopped, tightening her grip on Caboose’s hoof. "But not as much as I like you."

And with that, she leaned in to kiss. Caboose saw this, leaned in, and kissed her back and they stood kissing for several seconds, now hugging each other. Caboose had never felt so comfortable with himself in his life.

"Come on." Pinkie said, stopping the kiss, hopping ahead. "Let's go get that party started."

"Right behind you Pinkie." He yelled, hopping after her.

Chapter 4 - "Party"

Pinkie, much to her own surprise, decided that the party could wait a bit longer, so she put it on hold and decided to show Caboose a few more sights. She was happy that she could show everything Ponyville has to offer to her friend. Caboose looked off in the distance and sees the most wonderful of sights.

"Oh my gosh, a fountain!" He yelled with ecstasy. "And a magical castle! I want to live in a castle one day."

"That's Canterlot, silly! It's where the princesses live." Pinkie Pie giggled.

"Oh my gosh. I've always wanted to be a princess." Caboose gasped, then looks at Pinkie. "But now I think I want to be a queen."

"Only if I get to be the king!" Pinkie exclaimed. "I'm glad I met you Caboose. You're really fun to have around."

"Why, thank you Pinkie!" Caboose smiled. "You are really fun to be around yourself."

"Alright, enough of the views." Pinkie said, walking away. "It's time to party."

"Oki-doki.' Caboose said, following Pinkie.

After a few more minutes of walking they found themselves in front of a giant tree.

"Oh wow. Look how big that tree is!" Caboose said. "That must be the biggest tree EVER!"

Twilight heard the remark and walked up to the door an opened it.

"Hey Caboose." Twilight said, remembering what she had said to him before. "How’s it going?"

"Pretty good, I guess." Caboose said, raising the volume of his voice for no particular reason. "Yeah, I was sitting on a bridge and I was crying because I was sad, but then Pinkie came by and she gave me a cupcake and now I'm happy again."

"Oh, that's good." Twilight said. "Caboose, I'm really sorry for what I said. Do you think you can forgive me?"

"Yeah, I can." Caboose said, smiling at Twilight. "Apology accepted."

Caboose stepped out of the way and let Pinkie hop in first. After she did, Caboose followed and looked around the room. There was books everywhere.

"I have never seen this many diaries in my life." Caboose gasped.

"Oh, they aren't diaries." Twilight explained. "They are just books. Some are about history, some are about magic, some are just adventure novels."

"Oh. I like adventures."

"So Pinkie. I assume you brought him here for the party?" She asked, raising her brow. "I haven't set anything up so I'm so-"

"Oh that's okay Twi, just go get the others and let me and Caboose will handle it from here."

"Oh, okay. Be right back then." Twilight said, leaving the house.

"She doesn't mind." Pinkie said, reaching in her mane. "Behind her book worm exterior lies a die hard party pony, I just know it."

"There's a pony inside of her?" Caboose gawked. "Does it hurt?"

Pinkie let out a sarcastic sigh, but then started to laugh.

"You're silly. Time to set up the party!" Pinkie yelled, yanking a cannon out of her hair. "Pinkie Pie style."

She lit the fuse on the cannon and it promptly erupted, spewing out confetti, a boombox, plates with snacks on them and a piñata flew out.

"What? No punch?" Caboose asked.

"Hang on, this thing always jams." Pinkie said, hitting the cannon. The cannon then sputtered and shot a punch bowl onto a table.

"I want one of those."

"Well we'll just have to make you one then." Pinkie promised. "But let's wait for the girls."

Caboose and Pinkie sat next to each other, waiting for the girls to arrive. About ten minutes later, all the girls walked back through the door.

"Hey, they're here." Caboose said jumping up and down. "Hello little ponies! Are you ready to have some fun?"

"We sure as apple pie are." Applejack said.

"Great." Caboose said, slamming his hoof down on the boombox. "Let's get started then."

Caboose then started dancing oddly. It was somewhere between break dancing and a seizure. Twilight and the others burst out laughing.

"You're just jealous." Caboose said happily, jiggling his butt. "You know you can't party as hard as me."

"Oh it is ON!" Pinkie yelled, running next to Caboose doing her own strange dance.

Twilight looked at the others and shrugged.

"Looks like they're having a good time." Fluttershy said.

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash agreed. "But why should they be the only ones having fun?"

Rainbow Dash went over to where Pinkie and Caboose were rolling on the floor and started to dance.

"When in Canterlot..." Twilight said, walking to where they were dancing, and was followed by the other ponies.

All the ponies were having a good time until the ground suddenly started to shake and all the ponies fell to the ground except for Caboose.

"What's happening?" Fluttershy asked, trying to rise to her feet.

"I don't know." Twilight gasped. "But whatever it is I don't like it."

Caboose closed his eyes as hard as he could and then ran out the door, staring up at the sky.

"Please no." Caboose yelled. "I want to stay! I don’t want to go!"

"What is he yelling about?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I don't know." Twilight replied. "Caboose! Get back in here!"

Caboose ignored Twilight’s plea and stayed outside yelling. "Stay away! You don't want to see me when I get angry!"

"Who in Celestia’s name is he talking to?" Rarity asked. "And why is he yelling?"

The earthquake soon stopped and all the girls got their balance back. Pinkie Pie then ran to Caboose, who was looking up in the air. She saw something, something strange, falling from the sky. And falling fast.

"ShiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIIIIIIII-" Church yelled, slamming into the ground.

"Everybody, out of the way!" Sarge yelled, landing on Church.

"Ow! Jesus Christ, you broke my spine." Church complained.

"Ah, quit being such a wuss." Sarge said, getting up shaking his head. "I always knew the blues were cowardly, but now I know just how much, and plus you aren't even real, so why would you care if... say... what's with all these horses?"

Chapter 5 - "Confusion"

"Oh, hello, Sarge." Caboose smiled blankly at the red being. "How nice of you to drop in."

"Did that horse just talk?" Sarge asked after a few seconds of staring at it, dumbfounded.

"What is that thing?" Applejack asked, slowly walking towards the red metal machine.

"What? You never seen an advanced super soldier before?" Sarge asked.

"Can't say that ah have." Applejack said, now backing away.

"Do you know him, Caboose?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah. Sarge is... um." Caboose paused. "Yeah, I really don't know what he is, but I know him."

"Ugh." Church groaned, grabbing the back of his neck. "Where are we?"

"Church!" Caboose yelled, remembering what he thought earlier. "What are you doing here?"

"Caboose? Are you a horse?" Church asked.

"No." Caboose said innocently. "I am a pony. They are two completely different things."

"Is that the Church you talked about?" Pinkie asked, huddling next to Caboose.

"Yeah. Oh hey Church! This is Pinkie Pie! And that one is Twilight! I forget what the white one's name is, but the orange one’s name is-"

"Wait, what are you doing here?" Church interrupted. "What is this place?"

"It's a mystical land of ponies." Caboose said. "And the ground always tries to hug me, but that's alright with me. But the orange one’s name is Applejack, the yellow one with the pretty wings is called Fluttershy, and the blue one with the wings is called Rainbow Cast."

"Dash." Rainbow Dash corrected.

"Dash Cast." Caboose said, trying to correct himself. "Oh sorry, I just now realized how colorful her mane is so I lost concentration. This is Rainbow Dash."

Church let out a grunt, and looked around. Sarge did the same.

"Hey Sarge, do the colors here... pop out to you?" Church asked.

"Yeah, now that you mention it, they do." Sarge said. "They make me feel like punching something. Hard."

Sarge then punched Church in the chest as hard as he could, knocking the wind out of him.

"There we go, all better now." Sarge sighed.

"You son of a bitch." Church whined, holding onto his gut, gasping for air. "Why would you do that?"

"I did that so you would start acting like a soldier." Sarge said.

"These things are weird." Twilight said, thinking the situation over. "I think I need to go get princess Celestia."

"Okay you do that." Caboose said. "I will go get my mommy."

Church facepalmed. How on earth is he still alive after all these years...

"So what are you two doing here?" Caboose asked. "Are you here to try the cupcakes? They're great!"

"No Caboose, we're here to get you out." Church said. "You don't belong here."

"You always said that to me before I came here. And now you want me to go back?"

"Yes." Church said, grabbing Caboose’s shoulder. "And you're coming with us. Now. We need to leave."

"No." Caboose stated.

Church stared at Caboose for what seemed to be an eternity.

"Did you just say no?" Church asked.

"Yes. I mean no." Caboose said. "Wait. Maybe. I forgot what we were talking about."

"We were talking about how we came here to take you back, son." Sarge said. "Even if we have to drag you back."

"I don't want to." Caboose whined, stomping his hooves. "I want to stay here."

"Yeah well it's out of your hands." Church said, grabbing Caboose’s shoulder a second time.

Caboose kicked Church in the face with his back hooves with as much force as he could muster.

"OW! What the fuck Caboose?" Church yelled. "What the fuck has gotten into you?"

Caboose looked at Pinkie, who was still huddling up to him and he threw his arm over her and hugged her tightly. He then looked back at Church.

"You have GOT to be kidding me." Church said.

"Well, I can't say I disapprove of his choice of women." Sarge said. "I mean look at her, shes PINK. Pink is just a lighter red, that makes her good in my books."

"Sarge do you mind shutting the fuck up?" Church asked. "So what, you want to stay here because you like her? Is that it?"

Caboose took another look at Pinkie and his heart skipped a beat. "Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"What about me? Did you already forget what you just did to me?" Church yelled, becoming extremely angry.

Caboose stared at Church, not understanding what he had done wrong. Church let out a deep, angry sigh.

"I was happy. I had finally figured everything out. Then you yanked me out of the unit and ruined everything." Church said, voice wavering. "You ruined fucking EVERYTHING! Why the FUCK shouldn't I do the same?"

Caboose looked at the ground, taking that in. "I'm sorry." Caboose said simply, sniffling.

"What?" Church said, expecting a response along the lines of Tucker did it.

"I didn't mean to ruin anything." Caboose said, looking at Church who had tears in his eyes. "I just wanted to see you again. I didn't mean to hurt you. I always thought of you as my only friend."

"Listen. It's okay Caboose." Church sighed, walking up to Caboose to put his hand on his shoulder again. "I know you didn't mean to do anything. Accidents happen."

"Yeah." Caboose said, letting out a small laugh. "But they always seem to be caused by me."

"You give yourself too much credit." Church said, trying to comfort him. "Tucker fucks up way more than you do."

"Hey, yeah!" Caboose said, smiling and looking around. "I hate Tucker, he isn't here is he?"

"No, I don't know where he is right now." Church answered, slowly looking up. "And now that I think of that, I am kind of worried."

"I'm going to fucking diiiiiiiiiiiiie." Yelled Tucker, landing and hitting his crotch on a thick branch in the tree. "Fuck!"

"This isn't good." Caboose said.

"Tucker, what are you doing here?" Church asked.

"Well the first thing I did was slam my balls on a giant fucking branch. On the bright side, at least now I never have to use a condom." Tucker grunted, holding onto his crotch. "Bow-chika-bow-wowwwwwwWHYYYYYYY? Why my dick?"

"Yeah, I'm starting to feel better now." Caboose said.

Chapter 6 - "Celestia"

"Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch." Grif yelled, landing on Tucker.

"Hey get off of me asshole!" Tucker kicked Grif off of him, just for Simmons to land on him right after.

"Man I hate you guys." Tucker groaned.

"The feeling is somewhat mutual." Grif said, getting up.

Tucker, Grif and Simmons got up, Tucker still holding onto his groin for dear life.

"Where are we?" Simmons asked. "Is this heaven?"

"No, it isn't." Sarge said. "This is uh... where is this exactly?"

Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie and Rarity just stood there confused, unsure of what was happening. All they knew is that everyone who was tied to Caboose seemed to be just as wrong in the head.

"Hey blue, you okay over there?" Sarge yelled.

"What the fuck do you think asshole?" Tucker yelled back. "I squashed my love stick."

"What is with the ponies?" Grif asked. "And why are they staring at me."

"Why are YOU staring at US?" Rainbow Dash replied.

"Holy shit they can talk? That's pretty fucking rad."

"Why are you here?" Church asked.

"Well, that Carolina person said that you have been in here for far too long, so she sent us to get you." Simmons said.

"What? Why? We've only been in here for like two minutes." Church said.

"Yeah, she really wants you out of here." Simmons said.

"Yeah, and she sent a message with us to give it to you." Grif said. "She said she will kill us all if you don't come back in the next day. In hindsight I probably should have been a bit more worried."

"You aren't exactly the whining type." Sarge said. "You're more of the sit around and do nothing kind of type."

"You really know how I tick." Grif said with sarcastic sincerity.

"Well, we're having a little trouble getting Caboose back." Church explained.

"Why?" Simmons said.

Church motioned towards a blue pony sitting huddled up to a pink one.

"What?" Simmons asked. "What do the blue and pink ponies have to do with anything?"

"Hey Simmons." Caboose said. "How's it going?"

"Fine Caboose." Simmons said, his head whipping around a second later in realization. "Wait... Caboose... are you a horse."

"For fuck’s sake YES he is a horse." Church said. "Can we actually take a minute to focus for one second?"

"Dude, did you really just ask that question?" Tucker asked. "I mean don't you know ANYTHING about any of us?"

"You're right. I wasn't thinking. Why would I think any of you would be smart enough to-" But Church was cut short by a flash of white light. "What's happening?"

"I don't know!" Tucker said. "Is it a flashbang?"

"Fucked if I know." Church yelled, eyes closed due to the brightness.

"Oh fuck, I don't want to die! There's so many things I haven't NOT done yet. So many things I haven't slept on!" Grif yelled.

"Calm down and open your eyes." Said a serene, calming voice.

Soon the reds and blues opened their eyes to find themselves in the middle of a large room, with towering pillars and a red carpet leading to a door. On the other side, however, was a raised platform with a throne sitting on top. Sitting on the throne was a large horse, with a sparkling, flowing mane. The six sat in the middle of the room, gawking at the magnificent creature. They sat for a couple moments just staring. After what seemed like hours, someone spoke up.

"Hi! My name is Caboose. It's a pleasure to meet you. I like your hair."

"Thank you Caboose." She said. "My name is Princess Celestia, but you can call me Celestia if you wish."

"Oh okay. Hello Princess Celestia!" Caboose said, getting up.

"Why does shit keep happening to us?" Tucker said, still holding his crotch plate. "Why not anybody else in the galaxy. Surely god would have ran out of patience with us."

"I think you've been chosen for a reason." Celestia said, now letting out a small smirk. "Though I do not know what that reason could be."

Church let out a sigh then looked around. After a quick once over of everybody he looked back at Celestia. "So I assume you brought us here?"

"Yes." She replied simply.

"Mind telling us why?" Sarge asked. "I really don't like being in the same room as blues."

"That is why I brought you here." Celestia said.

"What? So I could hate the blues?" Sarge asked. "They really don't have to be in the same room as me and I'll still hate them."

Celestia sighed softly. She was already regretting bringing them here.

"My student Twilight Sparkle sent me a message telling me that some strange beings were fighting on her lawn." Celestia explained. "She wanted me to put a stop to it and that's what I plan on doing."

"Good luck with that." Sarge grunted. "We've been fighting for many long years and if you think you are going to stop it simply by asking, you have another thing coming."

"Who said anything about asking?" Celestia said, raising an eyebrow.

"What are you going to do with us?" Tucker asked.

Celestia said nothing and just smiled. The five soldiers soon found themselves surrounded by white mist and fell to the ground.

"She's going to kill us! Run for your life!" Grif yelled, standing up on two legs just to fall right back over.

It took a minute for the white shroud to dissipate but after it did something wonderful had happened.

"Why the fuck am I a horse?" Tucker asked.

"Hey you look just like me!" Caboose yelled. "Yay we're all pretty horses."

"What the? Did you just turn us into equines?" Simmons asked.

Celestia just nodded.

"Mind telling us why?" Tucker asked, stabilizing on all fours. "I mean, it's not like I haven't spent my fair share of time on all fours, but usually someone is under me."

"I did it to stop the fighting." Celestia said. "I think it is time you found your true selves, and you will not be able to turn back until you do."

"And how exactly are we going to find our true selves exactly?" Church asked.

Celestia stared at Church with a tight smile.

"Do you know what a cutie mark is?"

Chapter 7 - "Assignment"

"What in Sam hell is a cutie mark?" Sarge said. "Sounds like something Donut would have."

"It kinda sounds like a gay bar." Grif chirped. "So yeah, now that you mention it Sarge, Donut does come to mind."

Celestia sighed and shook her head.

"A cutie mark is a symbol that appears on a ponies flank after they find out what their special skill is." Celestia said. "It is there to tell a story of their personality. No pony can have the same cutie mark, and they have to come naturally. They will not appear if you use anything to try and force it. It can only be received in time."

"Well Grif I can't say it was nice knowing you." Sarge said.

"What do you mean?" Grif asked.

"Well for starters you have no special skills, you have no personality and you have to work hard to get it." Sarge said. "And to top it off you're incompetent."

"Well I guess you're right Sarge. It seems like I'm fucked."

"I'm going to be sending a letter to each of the girls." Celestia said, shaking her head. "I don't think they could handle more than one of you at once so I am going to assign one to each of you. Caboose, you will stay with Pinkie Pie."

"Yay!" Caboose said. "Thank you kind lady."

"Sarge, you will be going to live with Applejack on her farm." Celestia said.

"Alright." Sarge grunted.

"Tucker, you will be going with Rainbow Dash." Celestia said.

"Is she hot?" Tucker asked, and felt as if he had just been stomped on his groin with the force of a million suns. "God dammit."

"Grif, you will be spending your time with Fluttershy."

"All right." Grif said, staring indifferently at Celestia.

"Simmons, you will help out around Rarities boutique."

"Alright fine. I'll see if I can do anything to help out to keep me busy."

"And Church. You will be staying with Twilight Sparkle." Celestia said.

"Fine. Whatever." Church said.

"Tucker. Grif. I have given you wings so you will be able to keep up with the poines you are going to be staying with. Church and Simmons will be given horns to match your soon-to-be mentors. Farewell my little ponies. I will send for you if I happen to need you."

They were soon surrounded by the white mist again and it brought them back to Twilight’s place. The girls were inside of the tree, finishing up with the letters they had received.

"What is Celestia doing making us watch these idiots?" Rainbow Dash said. "I have far more important things to do."

"I know what you mean." Rarity said. "I have a very important client coming to pick up her dresses in three days and I am nowhere near being complete."

"Well I'm afraid we have to, after all the princess told us to. There's no use complaining." Twilight pointed out.

"Fine, but it doesn't mean I have to like it." Rainbow Dash grumbled.

"I'm feeling happy about this!" Pinkie said. "How about you Fluttershy? How do you feel."

"Nervous. It's really hard to meet new ponies." Fluttershy said. "What if he hates me?"

"Why would he hate you Fluttershy?" Twilight asked.

"I don't know." Fluttershy replied. "I just have a feeling he will."

"How about you AJ? how do you feel about it?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"As long as he stays out of the way I don't mind." Applejack said, indifferent to the situation.

"Damn that light is bright." Church said, stumbling through the door into the library.

"Well, here they are." Twilight said, going up to the door. "Time to get working I guess."

"Whatever." Rainbow Dash said, flying out the door.

"Come on Caboose, let's go back to the Sugar Cube Corner." Pinkie said. "I'll try and find you a place to sleep."

"What is Sugar Cube Corner?" Caboose asked, following suit with Pinkie.

"It's the gingerbread house you silly goose!" Pinkie said.

"You live in a gingerbread house?" Caboose yelled. "That is the most amazing story I have ever heard. Can you tell it again?"

"At least someone seems to be happy with this." Twilight said.

"Yeah, whatever." Rainbow Dash said. "Come on Tucker I'll show you where I live."

"Okay, which direction is it?" He asked.

"This way." She replied, shooting up in the air.

"Dude what? I don't know how to fly." Tucker said, looking at his wings.

"Not my fault if you can't keep up." Rainbow Dash said, snickering at Tucker.

"That's the way you're going to be, huh? Well fine, two can play at that game." Tucker said, jumping in the air, flapping his wings trying to fly. "Hey, I'm doing it! Oh shit."

Tucker then slammed to the ground. Rainbow Dash fell to the ground laughing at him.

"Come on, you're making a fool out of yourself." Rainbow Dash laughed. "I'll have to try and teach you to fly overnight. If you think you can stay up."

"Oh that's okay, I'm used to staying up all night." Tucker said with a wink. “Bow chicka bow wow.”

Rainbow Dash then started walking with Tucker to a flat field to practice his flying.

"I hope you don't mind, but I'd rather walk to your place." Grif said. "I don't feel too thrilled about the prospect of grinding my face on the ground."

"That's okay." Fluttershy said softly. "I would have walked anyways."

Rarity then started to walk away. "Hey wait, don't forget me." Simmons walked after her.

"Listen, if it's all the same to you," Rarity started, continuing towards her boutique. "I just want to show you where you will be sleeping so I can get straight to work, okay?"

"Yeah, sure I guess." Simmons said, hurrying to catch up to Rarity who was still walking.

"Well, let's go Sarge." Applejack said. "I'll show you where you'll be hunkerin' down while you're here."

"Yes ma'am." Sarge said, walking silently with her.

"Well Church, I guess it's just us now." Twilight said.

"Yeah." Church said, walking into Twilight’s house. "Just us."

"I'll show you to where you'll be sleeping, okay?" Twilight said.

"Yeah whatever." Church grumbled.

Chapter 8 - "The Farm"

It took Applejack and Sarge twenty minutes to get to Sweet Apple Acres. They walked in silence and that suited them both just fine. Applejack was nervous about having him here, he seemed outwardly abrasive and she worried what he would do to her family. Sarge didn't talk because he was glad for the peace and quiet. It was not until they had reached the gate that Applejack decided to speak.

"Well, here we are. Sweet Apple Acres." Applejack said with pride. "Home of the Apple family."

"Seems like a nice place." Sarge said. "I haven't been on a farm since my teenage years."

"Mhm." Applejack mumbled.

Sarge looked at her and he could tell that she did not trust him.

"Listen." Sarge said. "I don't mind that you don't trust me, but you could at least wait to get to know me before outright hating me."

"Well I guess back at Twi's you didn't give me much to go on." Applejack said. "You seemed to treat the others poorly."

"What? That's why you don't like me?" Sarge laughed. "Those idiots haven't worked one damn day in their entire lives. In fact, I'm sure Grif has found a way to work negative days."

"Even then, that's no reason t' regard them that way." She said, walking up to the barn. "Oh well this is where you'll be sleepin' tonight. I'll go get you a cover t' keep yourself warm."

"No need to go through so much trouble." Sarge said, walking up to a pile of hay. "I've been trained to sleep in irregular conditions. A cover would be an insult to my old drill sergeant."

Applejack looked at him quizzically then nodded as she turned to leave the barn. Sarge let out a sigh and started messing with the pile of hay until it was all bunched up. He turned around and dropped his back on it with his forelegs behind his head and he let out a wistful sigh. He closed his eyes and soon drifted off, snoring lightly, sleeping for the rest of the night. The next morning Sarge's eyes snapped open at the sound of a loud bang and he jumped to his feet. "We're under attack!" Sarge yelled, grabbing for something by his side, then started frowning. "Damn. I miss my shotgun."

"Are you okay?" A small filly asked.

"Yeah don't mind me." Sarge said calmly, walking towards her. "What's your name?"

"My name is Applebloom, I'm Applejack’s sister." Applebloom said. "She told me t' wake you on up."

"I guess a thank you is in order then." Sarge said, starting to walk out of the barn. "Pleasure to meet you Applebloom."

Sarge extended his hoof and Applebloom met his greeting.

"I like you." Applebloom said with a smile. "Mah sister said you weren't to be trusted, but you seem alright to me. I should tell her she was just bein' silly."

Sarge shook his head.

"Don't give her any trouble." Sarge said. "She is right not to trust me because I'm a new uh, stallion in the place and she has been ordered to make sure I don't do anything stupid."

"Hating somebody for just havin' the off chance of doing somethin' stupid ain't right though." Applebloom retorted.

"Normally I would agree with you." Sarge nodded thoughtfully. "But something tells me she wasn't worried about me. Something tells me she was worried about what I might do to you."

And with that, Sarge left the little filly to her thoughts. He then saw Applejack and a tall, muscular stallion kicking trees.

"Could have told me you were out here working." Sarge said, hopping the small fence to talk to Applejack. "I would have helped."

"I would have thought this wouldn't be your line of work." Applejack said while kicking a tree, making the apples fall down into buckets that are circling the tree. "So I thought I would let you sleep."

"Who's the big guy?" Sarge asked, looking at the large red horse.

"Oh that's Big Mac. He's my brother. He is a good worker, but he dun’ talk much." Applejack said, collecting the apples that missed the buckets and throwing them in.

"I'm impressed! Finally some reds that show some initiative. I think I'm beginning to like this place." Sarge said, examining a tree. "So you just... kick it?"

"Eeyup." Big Mac said, not turning to look at Sarge.

"You don't have to do anything Sarge. This is our family’s farm, not yours." Applejack grunted, moving to another tree.

"Please, as long as I'm here I consider myself to be a part of this family." Sarge said.

"It's not right. I couldn't make a guest do any work." Applejack said.

"That's as good of an excuse as any." Sarge laughed smugly.

"What do you mean by that?" Applejack asked, raising her brow.

"Nothing. I think that you're worried that I'll outshine you."

Applejack looked at him and smiled. "Why don't you put your legs where your mouth is tough guy. I say that you drop before I do."

"You're on." Sarge grunted, already kicking the tree, knocking down all the apples. "But I warn you, I know I'm going to win."

"Why's that?" Applejack laughed.

"Because!" He said, already finishing up with his fourth tree. "I get to pretend the trees are Grif."

Applejack couldn't help but let out a sly smile. Big Mac even let out a small laugh, even though he didn’t know who Grif was. Sarge, Applejack and Big Mac kept bucking trees until the sun started to set. Applejack had emptied many trees, but Sarge was working faster. He had already caught up with Applejack and would soon be surpassing her.

"Y'know, I'm really surprised." Applejack said, wiping sweat off of her head.

"Why's that?" Sarge grunted, kicking another tree.

"Well, I just expected you to be a lay about. I didn't think someone of your age would..." She trailed off, realizing what she just said. "Er, sorry. No disrespect meant."

"None taken." Sarge said. "I know my age. Time may be trying to slow me down, but it has another thing coming if it thinks it can catch up with S-dog."

Applejack nodded and stopped kicking trees.

"Alright boys, time to pack it in." Applejack said, rubbing her hind legs.

"But I was just starting to have fun!" Sarge said, kicking another tree, but then came to a stop.

"Hey I don't want you passing from a heat stroke out on us." Applejack laughed. "Sarge, I just wanna say that I appreciate you helping us out."

"Don't worry about it." Sarge grunted, walking up to her and Big Mac. "Say, who do you think kicked more trees?"

"I reckon it was a tie." Applejack said.

"I could have sworn I whupped you at it." Sarge laughed.

"Say, you feeling hungry?" Applejack said, chuckling while raising her hoof to him.

"I am feeling a bit peckish." Sarge said, grabbing her hoof and shaking it.

"Well, we've prepared a lot of food." Applejack said, beginning to smile. "How much d'you reckon you could eat?"

Chapter 9 - "Just Relax"

"So, uh, Fluttershy was it?" Grif asked.

Fluttershy turned her head slightly and nodded.

"So what do you do around here?" Grif asked.

Fluttershy looked at Grif, "Well, if you get bored you can always go to the town and-"

"No." Grif said, shaking his head slightly. "I mean, like, what do you do specifically?"

"Well." Fluttershy said. "I'm really good with animals so other ponies sometimes leave their pets with me while they're away."

"That's pretty cool." Grif said with a smile.

"I think you are the first one to ever say that." Fluttershy said, letting out a small smile of her own.

"I wonder why?" Grif asked. "I think animals are awesome. Take cats for example, all they do all day is sleep, and at night they grab a bite to eat and go right back to sleep. Who wouldn't want to live that life?"

"I actually think being a tree would be nice. You get to bask in the sunlight. And with enough care you can grow into something beautiful."

"You know what? I change my answer. I think I want to be a tree now," Grif said, sighing happily. "I think I'm going to like this place." At that moment, Sarge suddenly grinned for reasons unknown to him.

Fluttershy’s cottage entered their view as they rounded a corner. "So this is your place..." Grif trailed off.

"Yes. Why? Is it bad?" Fluttershy asked meekly.

"Not at all." Grif said, rubbing the back of his neck. "Seems like a nice place."

"Oh good. I was afraid you wouldn't like it..." Fluttershy said, letting out a small.

"Why worry about what other people think?" Grif said. "I mean, look at me. I don't give a fuck about anything and my life is great."

"My life is good too..." Fluttershy said.

"Sure it's good." Grif said. "But is it great? Have you ever sat down one day and decided to just not do anything at all?"

"Oh no, I could never do that!" Fluttershy gasped. "I have so many animals to look after every day, I can't just not do anything."

"Animals live in the wild with no help from anybody." Grif said. "I think they could handle a day of being left alone. You should try it sometime."

"Let's go inside." Fluttershy said, shaking her head.

"Okay, yeah."

Fluttershy opened the door and walked in, Grif following right behind. Grif took a quick look around and saw that there was a bird cage, a bed for a dog and a small structure for a cat to lay about in. He then looked around and saw a couch on the other side of the room and smiled.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have any spare beds here..." Fluttershy said, hunching down.

"That's okay, I'm perfectly fine with sleeping on a couch." Grif said, walking to the opposite side of the room.

"Are you sure?" Fluttershy said. "I could try and fin-"

"Nah, don't worry about it. It'll just be like my days in college... before I dropped out." Grif assured her. "And you got to stick to your guns. If you don't have a bed, make due. Don't go out of your way for everybody. Nobody likes a doormat. Just look at Simmons! He works his ass off and nobody pays him any attention."

"Isn't Simmons your friend?" Fluttershy asked, frowning slightly at Grif’s remark.

"Yeah, I guess." Grif said. "But we aren't exactly what you would call a band of brothers. Sure we've been through hell and back, not to mention Sarge. We were together, but other than that..."

Fluttershy stared blankly at him then shook her head. "I hope you sleep well." Fluttershy said, quietly cutting him off.

"Yeah, you too." Grif said, closing his eyes.

What a weird pony, Fluttershy thought to herself. How can you be happy if you have nothing to care about?

Grif was awoken by what he thought to be something dropping on his chest, but when he opened his eyes he found himself face to face with a bunny.

"Hey little guy, mind getting off so I can go back to sleep?" Grif said, pushing the bunny off of him.

The bunny promptly jumped back on his chest and thumped his feet.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem?" Grif said, now sitting up. "I'm trying to sleep here."

The bunny shook his head, jumped up and kicked Grif in the jaw. Grif grunted and rolled off the couch. The bunny stood smirking on the couch and it then curled up and went to sleep. "What the fuck just happened?"

"Oh I'm sorry." Fluttershy said, walking in holding many bags of animal feed. "That's Angel. He's my pet bunny. I forgot to mention that he likes to sleep on that couch for his afternoon nap."

"Yeah well I was having my afternoon nap too." Grif said, turning angrily at the bunny who had replaced him on the couch. He then let his shoulders sag. "Ah what the hell, I'm up now anyways. What are you doing?"

"I'm giving everyone their lunch." Fluttershy said. "I could make you something if you want."

"Really? That would be awesome." Grif said happily. "I haven't eaten in nine years!"

"Oh my," Fluttershy gasped, "a whole nine years?"

"Figure of speech." Grif said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh okay." Fluttershy said. "Follow me to the kitchen and I will make you a sandwich after I feed the animals."

"Alright." Grif said excitedly, following her into the kitchen. When she opened the door, he was surprised to see that the room was packed with animals.

"Wow, it's like you have your own petting zoo." Grif said sarcastically.

"Thank you."

Grif rolled his eyes.

"It will just take a minute for me to feed them all." Fluttershy said, opening a package of food, pouring it into a bowl.

"Here let me help." Grif said, grabbing another bag.

"Thank you." Fluttershy said. "What do you plan on doing after?"

"After what?" Grif asked.

"After you've eaten." Fluttershy replied.

"Once you get to know me, you'll feel pretty stupid asking me that." Grif laughed.

Chapter 11 - "Suit Up"

Rarity kept wishing that he would just decide to leave, but he didn't. She didn't need a strange stallion that she does not know to come in and interrupt her work. She kept wondering why Celestia had made Simmons need to stay with her. Simmons, however, did not speak because he thought since all the women he had been involved with recently (Tex and Carolina) had been completely crazy nut jobs, that he should not expect differently of this one, even if she was a pony. Rarity and Simmons walked for half an hour in complete and total silence. That suited them both fine. But after the walk they find themselves in front of the Carousel Boutique.

"Here it is." Rarity said, opening the door. "There is a couch by the door for you to sleep. I apologize for the mess. I've been meaning to clean it up but I have a very important client coming in the next few days and I need to get working on their order."

"Okay." Simmons said, looking at the mess with a curious eye. "Do you need help with anything?"

"No." Rarity said shutting the door to her room.

Simmons let out a brief sigh and sat on the couch. He then looked around the room and shook his head. He then decided that the best option was to sleep until morning. The problem was however, that he was restless and did not know why.

A couple hours later, while Rarity was in her room, sewing some fabrics together, "Yes, this is coming together fabulously! It just needs one more thing." Rarity said, reaching into a box of gems and felt around. "Nononono this won't do, this won’t do at all. Where is that sapphire?"

She then let out a sad sigh, having a feeling that it was lost in the clutter downstairs. Rarity stared at the dress thinking if it could be pulled off without it. "No." Rarity said with determination. "They are paying for perfection."

And with that she went downstairs to look through the mess to see if she could find it. But when she opened the door, she saw Simmons on the ground with a small cloth, rubbing away some grime off the floor. Rarity slowly went downstairs and looked at Simmons.

"You cleaned the place up?" Rarity asked quietly.

"Oh yeah, I hope you don't mind." Simmons said, not expecting her to talk to him. "I just have a small and extremely severe case of obsessive compulsive disorder. If something isn't as good as it can be then I can't sleep, and the only way to fix that is to make it look better."

"I completely understand." Rarity said. "If the end product of one of my pieces is off by the slightest bit then I try again. In fact that's why I'm down here. I'm looking for a small sapphire, maybe the size of my hoof. Did you happen to see it while you were tidying up?"

"I think so, hang on." Simmons said, reaching in a box that he tucked under the table. "Is this it?"

"Yes!" Rarity exclaimed. "I can't even begin to thank you Simmons! Without this sapphire my whole dress would have been ruined!"

"Sorry, it won't happen again..." Simmons said, with a sigh. "Wait a second. Did you say thank you?"

"Yes, why wouldn't I?" Rarity said. "It would have taken me hours to find it, and thanks to you my dress is saved!"

"It's just that usually when I try to do something helpful, Sarge usually yells at me telling me I'm wasting my time." Simmons said.

"Well maybe Sarge just needs to learn how to appreciate you." Rarity said, kissing Simmons on his cheek, who held back a nervous blush. "Say, are you feeling tired?"

"Not particularly." Simmons said quietly. "Why?"

"Well now that my dress is finished with this sapphire I can start working on the other thing they ordered." Rarity said, inspecting Simmons. "And I do believe you are the same build as she ordered so that would make everything a lot easier."

"Sure, why not." Simmons said, walking up the stairs, then slowing. "You won't use needles will you?"

"Well, yes." Rarity said, stopping on top of the stairs. "Why?"

"Well, it's just that I'm afraid of them." Simmons said. "So I'm kind of nervous about flinching and getting stabbed by them."

"Well I do have a small spell I’ve been working on." Rarity said. "What it does when I use it is freezes the pony in place, constraining them. They can still talk and breathe safely though, so you don't have to worry."

"Alright, why not." Simmons said, walking to the top of the steps.

"Just take a step up on the platform there while I grab some materials." Rarity said.

Rarity grabbed a needle, thread and some black silk. She saw Simmons staring at the needle so she decided to start using the spell. When she started to do it, her horn started glowing and Simmons found himself unable to jump backwards from surprise.

"Hey, I think it's working!" Simmons said.

Rarity just flashed him a quick smile and went to work. She worked on the suit for an hour, holding Simmons in place the entire time, which was beginning to drain her energy. Simmons looked at Rarity who was growing pale.

"Maybe we should stop for the night, that holding spell seems to be making you tired." Simmons said, trying to get her to stop. "The dress can wait until tomorrow."

"Just one more hour." Rarity yawned. "It's almost done."

Simmons then closed his eyes, focusing on breaking the spell, and after a lot of effort Simmons horn started to glow. Rarity took no notice until Simmons made the spell wear off.

"What did you do that for?" Rarity yawned. "The dress is looking great and it just needs a few more touches."

"The spell was beginning to wear you out." Simmons said, but before Rarity could speak out shook his head. "I like making everything perfect, but working on anything while you're tired might make it not go as well as you planned."

Rarity nodded her head and took the incomplete silk suit off of Simmons.

"I suppose you're right." Rarity said, voice hoarse. "It can wait until tomorrow. Sleep well Simmons. And thanks again for all the help."

"No problem. Good night." Simmons yawned, walking down stairs and climbing onto the couch.

Chapter 12 - "Memories"

"Well Church, I guess it's just us now." Twilight said.

"Yeah." Church said, walking into Twilight’s house. "Just us."

"I'll show you to where you'll be sleeping, okay?" Twilight said.

"Yeah whatever." Church grumbled.

"What's with all the talking Twi?" Spike said, coming down the stairs yawning and stretching his arms. "Who's the new guy?"

"Oh this is Church. He's a new stallion in town." Twilight said. "Church, meet Spike. He is my assistant and one of my oldest friends. He's also a baby dragon."

"You don't say..." Church said.

Spike and Church glared at each other apprehensively, seemingly trying to read each others thoughts.

"Hi..." Church grunted.

"Hey..." Spike grunted back.

"Ookaaaaay." Twilight said nervously, sensing the tension in the room. "Church if you follow me I'll show you where you'll be sleeping tonight."

"If it's all the same to you I think I'm going to go for a walk." Church said, walking towards the door. "Y'know, to clear my mind a little."

"Oh okay." Twilight said.

Church opened the door and left, closing the door behind him.

"Twilight, don’t you think that guy seems a little... off?" Spike said.

"What do you mean Spike?" Twilight asked.

"I'm not sure." Spike said. "All I know for certain is that I don't trust him. You should keep a close eye on him Twilight."

"Well, that's what Princess Celestia has asked us to do. Each of us got a stranger that we have to keep an eye on."

"Where did they come from?" Spike asked.

"I don't know." Twilight said, looking at the door to her house. "But I think I need to find out."

"What the fuck was Caboose thinking?" Church muttered to himself, walking towards a stream.

He then sat down and watched the water flow gently down the stream. For a moment, he swore he saw Tex. He brought his hoof forward, reaching for her, but before he touched the water he retracted his leg and let out a sigh.

"I'll miss you Tex." Church said to the reflection, which then seemingly drifted away.

"Who are you talking to?" Twilight asked, calmly approaching Church.

"Nobody." Church said. "Don't worry about it. What are you doing out here?"

"I came to find you." Twilight said.

"Why?" Church asked bluntly. "Am I not allowed to have some peace for once in my damned life?"

Twilight was about to say something but then lowered her head, breaking eye contact with Church.

"Oh. Sorry, I'll leave you be." Twilight said.

Church watched her turn around. "Listen, Twilight, I'm sorry." Church said. "I didn't mean to be rude. It's just everything that has gone on in the past couple years is starting to take its toll on me."

"Have things really been going that bad with you?" Twilight asked.

"You don't even know the start of it." Church grunted.

"I'd like to." Twilight said, intrigued to hear more about the stallion that she had to watch.

Church looked in her eyes and saw that she was genuinely interested. "Might as well take a seat, because it's a long story." Church said, sitting down. Twilight followed his lead. "I guess it all started back in a canyon called Blood Gulch..."

Church then spent the next few hours recalling and telling Twilight about everything that had happened, not leaving anything out. He told her about the freelancers, the epsilon unit and how it related to him, how he was actually an artificial intelligence based off of someone from the original’s past. Twilight listened intently, trying to soak in as much as she could. She flinched occasionally at the more intense parts. She especially flinched when Church told her that he witnessed the Meta stab Tex in the face with the unit, which he thought had killed her.

"And when I finally let her go, the others dragged me out to be face to face with Carolina who told me she wanted to kill the director and, effectively, me." Church said, shivering. "And as if it could get any worse, Caboose then plugged himself into the unit and ended up dragging me right back in, except this time the world was filled with bright ponies, and now I'm sitting on the ground talking to one of them."

"Wow." Twilight said, at a loss of words.

"Yeah." Church said. "Wow."

"When you told me things were bad, I assumed you were telling the truth." Twilight said. "But this? That is a lot for one pony to handle..."

"Tell me about it." Church said, standing up, reaching a hoof towards Twilight.

"So how haven't you... well..." Twilight started to ask, grabbing his hoof to hoist herself up.

"Died?" Church asked, which Twilight responded to with a nod. "As I've said, I'm an artificial intelligence, not quite a real person, but still somehow holding onto some degree of humanity."

"So you can never die?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Pretty much." Church replied honestly.

"Do you still love her?" Twilight asked. "Tex, I mean."

"Yeah." Church sighed, starting towards Twilights place. "But I'm not sure if I would really call it that. I mean, I was programmed to love her, but that's basically how I feel. I feel that it isn't a real love, that it's being forced down my throat."

Twilight nodded at Church, trying to understand what he meant.

"So that's my story, and I pretty much told you everything I could." Church said.

"You know, I read a book about love once." Twilight said. "One of the lines really stuck to me and it made me think."

"Oh yeah?" Church said, letting out a depressing laugh. "What did it say?"

"It said: A great love is a lot like a good memory. When it's there, and you know it's there but it's just out of your reach, it can be all that you think about. You can focus on it, and try to force it, but the more you do, the more you seem to push it away. But if you're patient, and you hold still, maybe... just maybe..."

"It'll come to you." Church finished, smiling brightly at Twilight who was smiling in return.

Chapter 13 - "Sleepover"

"What is Sugar Cube Corner?" Caboose asked, following suit with Pinkie.

"It's the gingerbread house, you silly goose!" Pinkie said.

"You live in a gingerbread house?" Caboose yelled. "That is the most amazing story I have ever heard. Can you tell it again?"

"Maybe later." Pinkie giggled happily.

They were a short walk away from getting to the Sugar Cube Corner, but Pinkie Pie decided to take the long route.

"Are we there yet?" Caboose asked, getting tired of walking.

"Nope!" Pinkie said happily.

Caboose kept quiet for half a minute.

"How about now?" Caboose asked.

Pinkie rolled her eyes playfully.

"We're here." Pinkie said.

"Yay!" Caboose said, starting to run to the closest house.

"I was kidding Caboose." Pinkie said, jumping on him, tackling him to the ground and started laughing. "I thought you knew what it looked like."

"Oh." Caboose laughed with a yawn. "Now I just feel silly."

"Maybe I shouldn't have taken the long way." Pinkie said with a smile. "You're really starting to look pooped."

"I don't mind." Caboose said. "I like walking with you!"

Pinkie blushed and got up off of Caboose and started to take the direct route to the Sugar Cube Corner. Caboose got up and quickly hopped next to her.

"You know, as much as I love Twilight and the others, I feel as if I can't really be myself around them. But with you I feel as if I can really let loose."

"Sometimes I like to pretend that I am really a superhero around others." Caboose said. "They usually tell me to stop after I keep asking where the phone booth is, but I still find it fun."

Pinkie and Caboose soon arrived at their set destination and Pinkie opened the door.

"You're really fun, you know that Caboose?" Pinkie asked.

"Thank you Pinkie." Caboose blushed, which made Pinkie giggle.

Pinkie then leaned in and kissed Caboose on the cheek, which made him fall to the ground again.

"I'm really glad you're here Caboose." Pinkie giggled, helping him up. "I don't think I've ever met anypony like you."

"I don't think I've ever met anypony like me either." Caboose said, letting out a large yawn. "I'm tired."

"I can see that." Pinkie giggled. "We don't have a guest bedroom so I guess you'll just have to sleep on my bed."

Caboose stared at her passively for a couple seconds, then his face broke out into a huge grin.

"Oh boy!" He yelled. "A sleep over!"

Pinkie giggled at Caboose, she then walked to and opened the door to her room, which had cupcakes plastered over everything. Caboose smiled and then started to jump on the bed. Pinkie giggled and started jumping on the bed with him. Caboose then fell backwards on the bed and yawned again. Pinkie stopped jumping and laid down on the bed next to Caboose.

"Good night Boosey."

"Good *yawn* night Pinkie." Caboose said, closing his eyes.

Pinkie looked at Caboose, who was already drifting off. She smiled and laid her head next to his and soon fell asleep, cuddled up to Caboose. Caboose woke up the next morning and looked around the room. He looked next to him and noticed that Pinkie wasn't there.

"Pinkie?" Caboose asked. "Where are you?"

"I'm baking right now, I'll be up there in a sec." Pinkie said from downstairs.

"Pinkie?" Caboose asked, looking down at the floor. "When did you become the ground?"

The door to the room then opened and mrs. Cake poked her head in.

"Oh, hello Caboose. How are you today?" Mrs. Cake asked.

"Oh hello mrs. Icing lady! I'm doing great." Caboose replied, then switched to a quiet whisper, "Did you know that Pinkie Pie is the ground?"

"What are you talking about?" Mrs. Cake asked, looking at him with a raised brow. "Pinkie is downstairs working."

"Oh. OH!" Caboose said. "She lives and works here?"

"Come on downstairs and we'll get you a bite to eat." Mrs. Cake nodded.

"I'm really hungry though." Caboose said, stomach rumbling. "Do you think I could have more than one bite?"

Mrs. Cake smiled and shook her head. "Sure Caboose, come on down."

Caboose jumped off the bed and sprinted out the door, making his way downstairs to see Pinkie. He then ran out the front door and looked around.

"This house is huge. Pinkie are you here?" Caboose yelled, not realizing he was outside.

"I'm over here silly." Pinkie said, taking some baked goods out of the oven. "Want a cupcake?"

"A cupcake... for breakfast?" Caboose said quietly. THIS IS THE GREATEST PLACE EVER!"

Caboose ran back in the house and grabbed a couple cupcakes and started munching on them.

"Boy, you're really hungry." Pinkie said, taking a cupcake for herself.

Caboose stuffed the rest of his cupcakes into his mouth, starting to choke.

"Ya ah eehly wah ‘ungy." Caboose then swallowed them and cleared his throat. "Sorry, my mouth was full, I do that sometimes. I said yeah I really was hungry."

Pinkie smirked and shook her head. "Well, I'm done for the day. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What can we do?"

"Well, Applejack stopped by and picked up a lot of treats because she challenged Sarge to a eating contest. We could go and watch them." Pinkie suggested.

"Hey yeah! That sounds fun!" Caboose said, grabbing Pinkies hoof.

Pinkie just smiled and walked out the door with him, making their way to Sweet Apple Acres. They soon got there and saw a small crowd standing in a circle, most of whom were part of the Apple family. Caboose and Pinkie managed to squeeze ahead of everybody to watch the contest.

"Twenty bits on the new guy." One stallion said.

"I'll take that bet." Another said, shaking his head.

Sarge cracked his neck, and was getting ready.

"Hey Sarge!" Caboose said, standing next to him.

"Oh, hey Caboose." Sarge said, not turning to greet him, focused on the upcoming battle of stomachs. "Come to watch me win?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Caboose replied with a smile.

"Y'all ready to shut up and eat Sarge?" Applejack asked with a grin.

"Depends." Sarge said, staring Applejack down. "You ready to lose?"

"In yer dreams, hot head." Applejack replied.

Chapter 14 - "Showdown"

"On the count of three, you will shake hooves and then begin. You have fifteen different dishes to finish. First one to finish wins." Granny Smith said. "One..."

Applejack and Sarge both took a seat at the table, eyeing each other intensely.

"Ready?" Applejack asked.

"More than you'll ever be." Sarge replied with a smile. Applejack then glared at Sarge.

"Two..." Granny Smith said.

Applejack started rubbing her hooves together and Sarge put his hoof behind his head and cracked his neck.

"You're going down." Applejack said.

Sarge just smiled and shook his head.

"Uh... what number was I at again?" Granny Smith asked.

"Muffin." Caboose replied playfully.

"Oh right, three!" Granny Smith said.

"Good luck Sarge." Applejack said, putting her hoof over the table to shake.

"Don't need it. But you will." Sarge said, grabbing Applejack’s hoof.

He then pulled her forward, making her gasp and lose her balance and focus. Sarge took advantage of this and slammed his face onto the plate, stuffing in as much as he could. Applejack quickly glanced at him and set to work. Applejack looked up after she had finished her first plate and saw that Sarge was completing his third plate. Applejack grunted as she grabbed the pie that was on her plate and shoved it in her mouth and started chewing. She then slowly put her hooves on her throat and started choking. Sarge noticed this and jumped over the table.

"Applejack!" Applebloom yelled worriedly.

Applejack was now on the ground, wheezing and flailing her back legs, eyes watering. Sarge knelt next to her and stared at her, not knowing what to do. So he started to push her chest. On the second push, Applejack stopped choking and pushed Sarge to the ground and jumped back on the bench and grabbed a third plate and started eating. Sarge glared at her, then jumped over the table and started eating again. Sarge and Applejack were soon neck and neck. Seven finished for Applejack. Nine for Sarge. Ten for Applejack. Just as Sarge finished his fourteenth plate, Granny Smith rung the bell. Sarge dropped his plate, leaned back and burped.

"Looks like I get twenty bits." Said one pony in the background.

The other pony looked down and mumbled, handing some coins to the other pony.

"Applejack won!" Granny Smith exclaimed, holding up Applejack’s leg.

"Looks like you were just blowin' hot air, huh Sarge?" Applejack asked smugly.

"Yeah well, you cheated." Sarge mumbled.

"So did you." Applejack retorted.

Sarge glared at Applejack, face like stone. He then let out a rough laugh. Soon Applejack burst out with laughter.

"Y'know, it's nice to have somebody who can pose a challenge to me." Applejack said.

"I know what you mean." Sarge said back, extending his hoof to shake, for real this time. "Tell you what, you agree that I smoked you collecting apples, then I'll agree that you won the eating contest."

"Sounds fine with me." Applejack said with a laugh. "Let's say we make it best two outta three?"

"I was thinking three out of five." Sarge said with a laugh.

"You got it pardner." Applejack said with a nod.

"That was a close one Applejack!" Pinkie said, congratulating her.

"Yeah it was, wasn't it?" Applejack said back to Pinkie.

"I was so scared." Caboose said. "When you were choking on that pie, I thought you were possessed by a demon baby."

"Oh? And what exactly is wrong with bab-" Applejack started to ask with her brow raised, but was cut short by Sarge, who was holding her mouth shut shaking his head viciously.

"That would have been an extremely terrible mistake on your part." Sarge grunted.

"Oh? And why is that?" Applejack asked laughing, but when she looked at Sarge, she could see the slightest bit of fear in his eyes.

"You do not want to know. Just trust me."

Applejack stared at him and just nodded, starting to feel a bit nervous. What could Caboose do that would scare Sarge so much? He seems extremely brave...

"So what do you wanna do now?" Pinkie asked Caboose.

"Oh, I don't know." Caboose said. "How about we see what Sarge is doing?"

Sarge looked down and facehoofed while shaking his head slowly.

"Well Sarge, what do you reckon we do now?" Applejack asked. "We've almost gone an' finished harvestin' the apples thanks t' you so we have some time to waste."

"I don't know." Sarge grunted, and then sighed. "I miss Donut. He would have had something to do by now."

"How about we go see what the others are up to?" Pinkie asked.

"Sounds good to me." Applejack said. "Sarge?"

"Yeah, whatever. Might as well make sure the others haven't blown anything up."

"I just realized something." Caboose said. "I'm not wearing any pants."

"Caboose, no one is wearing pants." Sarge sighed.

"Oh my gosh!" Caboose exclaimed, looking at every pony and stallion. "No one is wearing pants!"

Pinkie Pie started giggling. Applejack and Sarge then looked at each other and started laughing as well. Soon all of them were on the ground laughing hysterically.

"Ah. Caboose, you're a weird one, you know that?" Sarge said, trying to stop laughing. "But in a good way."

"Hey, thanks Sarge!" Caboose said. "I don't think I have ever heard you compliment anybody. I feel so special."

"That's because you ARE special." Sarge said with a smirk.

"Thanks Sarge!" Caboose said happily.

"That wasn't a compliment..." Sarge said jokingly, low enough so Caboose didn't hear but loud enough so Applejack did.

Applejack let out a small chuckle and a wry smile, but then caught herself and stopped. She then elbowed Sarge lightly in the chest shaking her head.

"You don't have to be mean." Applejack whispered to Sarge. "Caboose seems like a sweet kid. Not the smartest in the barrel o' apples, but sweet."

"Sorry. Old habits die hard." Sarge whispered back, then raised his voice back to normal. "Oh well, let's go then. I'm sure Grif has done something stupid by now."

Chapter 15 - "Dogs Life"

"Thank you for the help Grif." Fluttershy said as she finished preparing a sandwich.

"Don't worry about it." Grif said, stomach growling.

Fluttershy giggled slightly and gave the sandwich to Grif, who then took a small bite out of it. "Oh my god, this is awesome." Grif said, grateful for the food. "What's in it?"

"Well, there is bread, jam, a little bit of honey, and some hay and oats."

Grif slowly looked down at the sandwich, feeling slightly weird. "Oh well, at least it tastes good." Grif said, taking another bite.

"I need to go feed the chickens and other outdoor creatures. Are you going to be alright here?"

Grif looked at her out of the corner of his eye. Fluttershy then smiled slightly and walked out the back door.

"Now she's getting it." Grif laughed, ready to take another bite out of his sandwich.

Then he heard a whining noise. He looked and saw a medium sized dog looking up at him, wagging its tail.

"What the hell do you want?" Grif asked the dog while he was chewing.

The dog just sat down and lifted its front paws, still wagging its tail.

"Go away you mutt. This is my sandwich." Grif muttered, making hoof motions trying to scare it away.

The dog paid no attention to the motions and started whining. Grif sighed and ripped off a piece of his sandwich and gave it to him. He then looked back at the sandwich, then back at the dog.

"How did you get me to do that?" Grif asked the dog.

"Woof!" The dog replied.

Fluttershy then walked back into the room and the dog turned its head to the side and stared at Grif. Grif shook his head and picked the sandwich back up. The dog then propped it's head on Grif’s legs. And he groaned.

"Oh I'm sorry. Is she bothering you?" Fluttershy asked. "She was supposed to be outside for feeding, but I guess she snuck inside. I'll put her back out and feed her."

"Don't worry about it." Grif said looking at the dog, tossing another piece of his sandwich to the dog. "I like dogs. This one seems pretty cool."

"Oh, well I'm glad you like it." Fluttershy said smiling.

"Does it belong to somebo- I mean somepony?" Grif asked.

Fluttershy made a small frown and shook her head.

"No." Fluttershy said sadly. "One day I was walking back from the market and I saw a skinny little puppy, all alone curled up in a ball with no collar on. I asked everypony in Ponyville, but nopony knows who owns this dog."

"I wonder why he was all alone?" Grif asked, eating the rest of the sandwich. "It seems like a nice dog to me."

"She wasn't a good dog when I found her. When I approached her, she started to growl at me." Fluttershy said. "When I finally got her to like me, I looked around and asked if anybody wanted to adopt her, but when they came to see her, she started acting very violently. I think you are the first one to meet her that she has not tried to bite by now."

"Are you telling me this dog hasn’t trusted anyone besides me?" Grif looked at the dog. The dog looked down at the ground, seemingly to avoid eye contact. "I like it. He reminds me of me, if what you told me was true."

"Oh that's... nice." Fluttershy said, and then coughed. "I was wondering if you would mind accompanying me to the market. I mean... if that’s alright with you..."

"Well, I WAS gunna go back to sleep." Grif said. "But I guess I owe you one. Sarge would have never let me sleep for that long, so yeah I'll come. You want to come to boy?"

The dog barked at him, seemingly annoyed. "She is actually a female dog." Fluttershy stated.

"Oh, well... what's her name then?"

"She didn't have her collar on her when I found her." Fluttershy explained. "And since I wasn’t planning on keeping her, I decided it would be best if I left it to the owner to decide once she found one."

"Oh. Well then I'll name her." Grif laughed, now looking at the dog. "I think I'm going to call you... Haley." As he finished speaking, she stood up and started wagging her tail.

"You're willing to adopt her?" Fluttershy squeed, then hugged Grif. "That's so wonderful. I'm ever so grateful. I was worried she wouldn't get a home because of her attitude."

"Don't mention it. Want to come to the market Haley?"

Haley barked and started to follow Grif. Fluttershy smiled and then walked out the door, followed by Grif who in turn was followed by Haley. On the short walk to the market, Grif enjoyed the energy that Haley bounded around him with. In a few minutes, they reached their destination.

"So what are you here for?" Grif asked.

"I need to pick up next week’s feed." Fluttershy said.

"Okay, who do we need to talk to to get it?"

"We need to go to one of the booths. It's just over there." Fluttershy said, walking towards a booth with a picture of a cat on it.

"Good afternoon Fluttershy. Back already?" The pony in the stand asked.

"Yes miss Pheed." Fluttershy said, nodding.

"Alright." Miss Pheed said, reaching under her stand and pulling up a big bag of animal feed. "That will be fourteen bits."

"Fourteen? But it was ten last week..." Fluttershy said.

"Sorry, but now it's fourteen." Miss Pheed said, maintaining a pleasant smile.

"Oh, alright I guess I can aff-"

"Hang on." Grif interrupted, stepping in front of Fluttershy. "What's with the huge price jump?"

"And who might you be?" Miss Pheed said, raising her nose.

"A friend. Now why don't you answer my question."

"I don't have to explain anything to you." Miss Pheed said with a sneer.

"Grif, it's okay I have the-" Fluttershy started again.

"Hang on Fluttershy." Grif asserted. "Now how about we bring it back down to ten before I make you bring it down."

"What are you going to do." Miss Pheed said, letting out a laugh.

Haley then started snarling and barking. Miss Pheed recognized the dog instantly, as she was the first pony to be asked by Fluttershy to look after it.

"Fine." She said in a trembling voice. "Ten bits it is."

"Glad to see we could come to an agreement." Grif said, smirking at her.

Chapter 16 - "Buck Shot"

"You don't have to be so much of a pushover you know." Grif said. "You should try being a bit more... assertive."

"Oh no, I tried that before." Fluttershy said sadly. "I took a class but it turned me into a monster."

"I'm not saying turn into an asshole, I'm just saying say no once or twice..." Grif trailed off, "Say, is that Sarge?"

Sarge, Caboose, Pinkie, Applejack and Big Mac then appeared on the other side of the market.

"We're almost there." Applejack said.

"My legs are tired." Caboose said. "Stop it legs."

"Quit your groaning Caboose." Sarge grunted.

Just then, the stallion that had lost the bet at the eating contest stood in their way.

"Mind moving kid? We're trying to get somewhere." Sarge said.

"You owe me some bits." The stallion said.

"Oh? And who are you?" Sarge laughed.

"My name is not important to you old colt." The stallion said. "Now I suggest you pay your due or this could get really ugly really fast."

"I don't owe you anything, so I suggest you step out of the way." Sarge grunted, glaring at the stallion.

"You threw that competition and you know it." The stallion snarled. "Because of that I lost my money. So, as I said, pay now or I can't be held accountable for what I might do."

"It's not my fault you were an idiot. Besides, we didn't know anypony was actually betting on who would win."

"Yeah... well, you and those other hicks are going to pay me for my loss."

Sarge glared at the stallion and his left eye twitched. "Hey Big Mac? How about we show this kind, young stallion some good old-fashioned Apple family hospitality."

"Eeyup." Big Mac replied with a smile.

Big Mac then walked behind the stallion and hoisted him up, holding him so he couldn't move.

"Hey, what the-" The stallion said, struggling to break free.

"You can say what you want about me, but you made a serious mistake." Sarge said, turning around.

"P-Please... Please don't!" The stallion said. "I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone I swear!"

"That's not going to help you now." Sarge said with a smirk.

Sarge brought his legs back and kicked the stallion in the chest. The kick created a large flash and sent Big Mac and the stallion flying backwards. The force of the blow made a large noise, one that was very close to Sarges heart.

"Sarge that sounded like your shotgun-type thingy!" Caboose said.

"I know, I heard." Sarge laughed, smiling wickedly.

Sarge walked up to Big Mac and helped him up.

"Sorry about that big guy. I guess I don't know my own strength." Sarge said with a laugh.

"My chest! Oh Celestia, my chest!" The stallion moaned, rolling back and forth.

Sarge then turned his attention to the stallion who was on the ground, clutching his chest.

"You going to apologize for that remark son?"

"I'm sorry." The stallion said. "I'm so sorry sir."

"Not to me you idiot." Sarge said, backing up allowing him to see Big Mac and Applejack.

"I'm extremely sorry about calling you hicks. It won't happen again I swear." The stallion groaned, stumbling to get up.

"Glad to see everything is well." Sarge said, turning his gaze to the stallion. "Now get the hell out of my sight before you get Sarge'd again."

The stallion promptly stood up, still clutching his chest, which was now bright red, with one hoof. He looked at Sarge and then started speed walking away.

"Thanks for sticking up for us Sarge." Applejack said.

"Don't mention it. Nobody disrespects any reds. Except me." Sarge finished with a hearty laugh

"That was amazing!" Caboose then looked at Sarge’s side. "Hey Sarge you're getting one of those thingies."

"What are you talking about?" Sarge asked, looking at his flank. “Oh...”

A symbol was starting to appear on his flank. It took a couple seconds, but soon it was clear. It was a red shield, but with a pair of hooves kicking a pony in the chest embedded onto it. Sarge stared at his mark for several seconds and started to smile.

"My true talent is hurting others?" Sarge asked, still grinning. "I had a feeling it would be something amazing. Where's Grif when you need him?"

"Congratulations Sarge." Applejack said, extending her hoof which Sarge met.

"Hey Sarge! We should start calling you Buck Shot!" Caboose said excitedly.

Sarge glanced at Caboose, then back to his cutie mark.

"You know Caboose, that ain't half bad." Sarge said. "S-dog was getting a bit old, I think I'll retire that name."

"Sarge that was pretty fucking awesome." Grif said, walking up to Sarge.

"Grif? What the hell are you doing here? I didn't expect to see you ever again." Sarge said. "I expected you to be sleeping all day for the rest of your life."

"I was just giving Fluttershy a little help."

"I think this is the most work I've ever seen you do. Ever." Sarge said.

Grif shook his head, trying to get his head clear. "Woah, that was weird. Now I need to work on bringing my average back down." Grif yawned. "Hey Fluttershy, mind if I go back to your place to crash?"

"Well, we got the food so we were about to go back anyways." Fluttershy said.

"Great, time to catch some Z's" Grif said with a small laugh. Grif then looked at the tall red stallion. "Who's the big dude?"

"That's Big Mac." Sarge said.

Sarge then turned his side to Grif.

"Hey Grif, look what I got." Sarge said.

"Sarge, no offense but I really don't want to look at your ass." Grif said, shielding his eyes and looking away.

"Not my ass you moron, my mark thing." Sarge grunted.

"Oh, good job Sarge." Grif said, looking closely at it. "What did you get it for- GAHH!" Grif then found himself flying through the air with a heavy pain in his chest. "Ow my chest!" Grif moaned. "What the hell was that for?"

"You asked how I got it." Sarge said, letting out a hearty laugh. "So I showed you."

"Why am I not surprised your special talent is hurting people?" Grif asked, trying to stand up. "Come on Fluttershy, I need to sleep off this pain."

"Oh okay." Fluttershy said, trying to ease some of the burden off of Grif by putting his front leg around her neck.

Chapter 17 - "Privacy"

Tucker’s eyes slowly opened as he let out a sore groan, back still hurting from the night before. He slowly sat up on Rainbow Dash’s bed and let out a yawn before he rubbing his eyes and looking around the room. Everything in the room was blue. There were a few posters on the wall, but it was barren of anything other than that. He got out of the bed and approached the large window perched in the middle of the wall and looked outside. The sun was just rising. Tucker’s mouth opened slightly as he witnessed sunlight bouncing off all the buildings that were set upon the clouds.

"Pretty cool view, isn't it?" Rainbow Dash asked, yawning lightly.

"Huh? Oh yeah it is pretty cool." Tucker said, turning to look at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash put her front legs above her head. "Did you have a good sleep?" Rainbow Dash asked, jumping out of the bed.

"Not really, had a tough time falling asleep." Tucker groaned. "How about you?"

"Well you kept tossing and turning so you pretty much kept me up all night."

"I get that a lot. I guess an apology is in order, isn't it?"

"If you want, but it won't help." Rainbow Dash said with a laugh.

"Good, I hate apologizing anyways." Tucker said, stomach growling. "Ugh, got any food?"

"You can go to the kitchen downstairs and make something. I'm going to go take a shower." Rainbow Dash said, about to walk into the adjacent room.

"Psh, please. Cooking is a woman’s job." Tucker said, then found himself knocked on the ground by a pillow.

"Don't be an ass." Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.

"Alright." Tucker pouted, leaving the room.

Tucker then found his way to the kitchen. He looked around and noticed a couple cabinets, an oven and a fridge. He walked up to the fridge to see what was inside. There was a lot of produce lining the bottom shelf and the other shelf had some bottles of milk, a jar of jam and little much of anything else. Tucker wasn't too happy about eating any of that so he went to check the cabinets. The first cabinet had some hay and wheat, the second one had two loaves of bread.

"Where the hell does she keep the good stuff?" Tucker muttered.

Tucker then grabbed the bread and cut a couple slices out of it, he then grabbed the jam out of the fridge and spread it over one of the slices and slapped them together. He took a bite out of the sandwich and he smiled. He shoved the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and let out a happy burp. Now that he’d had something to eat, he stretched once more and went to find Rainbow Dash. When he got to the room, the sound of the shower had stopped. Tucker then opened the door to the bathroom and felt a searing pain shoot across his face and he was sent flying into the wall.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Rainbow Dash yelled furiously.

"I thought you were done showering so I was going to see what’s going to happen next." Tucker said, feeling his nose which was now bleeding. "I didn't expect "beat Tucker" to be on the agenda. Well actually, I was, just not like this."

Rainbow Dash made direct eye contact with Tucker and squinted at him, which made him shake nervously for a split second.

"What did you expect? I just got out of the shower!" Rainbow Dash yelled. "I didn't even dry off yet."

"What difference does it make? It's not like you wear any clothes anyways... you're pretty much naked all the time." Tucker said.

Rainbow Dash brought her hoof back, about to punch him in the throat. She put her hoof back on the ground and sighed, still glaring at Tucker.

"It's the principle of the matter." Rainbow Dash said, calming down. "How would you feel if I walked in on YOU in the shower?"

"Well, actually I-" Tucker started with a smile.

"If you want to die, finish that sentence." Rainbow Dash said.

Tucker stared at her for a couple seconds and shook his head.

"No, I think I'm good." Tucker stuttered.

Rainbow Dash turned and went into the bathroom and slammed the door extremely hard. Rainbow Dash felt her heart racing, not because of the anger, but because Tucker had walked in on her coming out of the shower. After a few minutes of Tucker sitting and rubbing his neck in silence, Rainbow Dash opened the door and looked at Tucker, who flinched at the sight of her.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you. Not yet at least."

"Okay, cool. Good." Tucker said, getting up, starting to walk over to Rainbow Dash.

"I'm still mad at you though, so if you say one thing." Rainbow Dash started. "One. Thing. I will not hesitate to slam your head into the ground."

Tucker started to laugh, but then saw the seriousness in her eyes.

"Fine." Tucker said weakly, laugh dying in his throat. "So what are we going to do now?"

"Well, I didn't really plan for anything, but I guess I could show you around Cloudsdale." Rainbow Dash said, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

"My wings are still hurting though, and it doesn't help that my face feels like it was put through a shredder." Tucker whined.

"Well, I can't say that you didn't deserve it..." Rainbow Dash said, then let out a laugh. "Should we go see what the others are doing?"

"Sure thing."

Rainbow Dash and Tucker walked down the stairs and got to the door, Tucker opened it and took a step out, but was dragged back in by Rainbow Dash.

"What are you doing?" Tucker asked.

"I just thought that since your wings seem to be damaged, you wouldn't want to fall from this height." Rainbow Dash said.

Tucker walked up to the door and looked down.

"Oh shit. I completely forgot." Tucker said, a smile breaking out on his face. "Would you mind carrying me down?"

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes but smiled in return. "Fine, but only this once. We're not going to be making a habit of me touching you."

"Damn." Tucker said, chuckling slightly.

Chapter 18 - "Thank You and Goodbye"

Church laid awake in the guest room’s bed for hours after dawn. He slept for a couple hours, but he felt more awake than he ever has been in his entire life. He heard the door to Twilight’s room open and he smiled, getting out of the bed. He walked up to the door and opened it.

"Twilight." Church nodded at her.

"Hi, Church. You're up early. Did you have a good sleep?" Twilight asked.

"To be honest, I had a great sleep."

Twilight smiled at him and started making her way down the stairs with Church in tow.

"That's nice." Twilight said, walking towards the bookshelf.

"Listen, Twilight. I just wanted to say thank you."

"For what?" Twilight asked, clearly confused.

"For listening." Church replied simply.

"Oh, that was no big deal."

"It was for me." Church said, shaking his head slightly. "It was really gratifying to be able to get all that off of my chest."

"Everyone can listen though. I can't see why what I did was so great." Twilight asked.

"Everybody I have ever met claims to listen, but you were the first to actually HEAR what I had to say." Church said. "And it really helped me clear my head. I feel as if a great burden has been lifted off my shoulders."

"Well, that's good."

Church then walked up to her and hugged her. "Really. Thank you." Church said, smiling. "It's nice to have somebody that I feel I can actually trust, and not just some idiot."

Twilight let out a soft gasp as her cheeks turned a subtle shade of red. "Oh, you're welcome Church." Twilight said as she returned the hug.

Church let go of Twilight and let out a sigh. "So, what are we doing for the rest of the day?"

"Well, I need to reorganize my bookshelves by publishing date, then I plan on going to see Rarity. She wanted me to see her most recent work."

"Okay, I'll help." Church said.

Twilight smiled at him. "You really don't have to help, I mean, it's pretty boring work."

"Still. I need to do something around here." Church said, laughing. "I don't like just sitting around all the time. I've done too much of that in my life."

"Well, grab some books and start organizing.”

Church nodded and started to open the books to find the date of publication. Soon he found where they were and started to work. Church and Twilight worked in silence for hours, after all, what was there to talk about? Soon Twilight finished before Church and she helped him finish the other wall of books.

"Thank you for the help." Twilight said.

"No problem." Church said.

Spike then came down the stairs and looked around. "You organized the shelves by yourself?"

"No Spike, Church helped me."

Spike looked at Church, squinting his eyes. Spike then shrugged. "That's cool I guess."

"Now that that's all organized we're going to see Rarity. Want to come Spike?"

"You know it Twilight!" Spike said, hopping on Twilight’s back. Church smiled, seeing the signs of love in Spike’s demeanor.

In a few minutes, they found themselves in front of Carousel Boutique. Inside, Simmons was wearing the suit, frozen in place by Rarity’s spell.

"And... done." Rarity said, taking the suit off of Simmons. "I must say, this suit looks fantastic on you."

"Thanks. That spell worked wonders Rarity. I would have thought that standing for so long would hurt my legs." Simmons said. "And this time around, I didn't even feel nervous about the needle."

Rarity smiled at Simmons and started walking towards the door, bringing the two pieces downstairs to put on display.

"Simmons, I just want to apologize for how I treated you when we first met." Rarity said, frowning slightly. "I didn't know you would be such a help."

"That's okay, I'm used to that sort of treatment." Simmons said. "And while we're being honest, I wasn't too thrilled about meeting a new woman, because the last few I have met were nutjobs."

Rarity and Simmons both started laughing lightly as they made their way down the stairs.

"We're terrible." Simmons stated flatly.

"Yeah, we are." Rarity replied.

Rarity then placed both the suit and the dress on display.

"You're quite the gentlecolt you know that?" Rarity asked.

"Please, don't be too nice. Sarge would rip my head off if he saw me getting compliments." Simmons said, laughing.

"Well Sarge isn't here right now is he?" Rarity said.

Rarity then walked up to Simmons and gave him a kiss on the cheek. At that moment, the door swung open and Twilight, Spike and Church walked in.

"Hello Rarity." Twilight said. "We're not interrupting are we?"

"Rarity?" Spike said somberly.

Spike looked away from Rarity and started to glare at Simmons. Spike then jumped off of Twilight’s back and ran out the door.

"What's with the dragon?" Simmons asked.

"I don't know what came over him..." Twilight said.

"I think I know what did." Church said. "Come on Simmons, we need to go talk to him."

"Me? Why me?" Simmons asked.

"Just don't argue, okay?" Church demanded.

"Fine." Simmons said resignedly.

Simmons and Church both walked out the door to find Spike.

"So what is with the dragon?" Simmons asked.

"His name is Spike. He’s Twilight’s assistant." Church said, then looked at Simmons. "I think he likes Rarity."

"And?" Simmons said. "What made him storm off?"

"He saw her kiss you on the cheek. How do you think that made him feel dumbass?" Church said.

Simmons said nothing and just looked at the ground. Church looked around and saw Spike sitting on a fence. "There he is.”

Spike heard Church and looked up, angry tears in his eyes. He jumped off the fence and started walking away.

"We just want to talk." Church said, running after Spike.

"I don't want to talk." Spike yelled. "Do you have any idea what I'm feeling?"

Church caught up with Spike and put a hoof on his shoulder. "More than you will ever know." Church said sadly, which made Spike stop.

Chapter 20 - "Stairs"

"Easy there Dash." Tucker said hastily as Rainbow Dash brought him close to the ground.

"Your wings better heal quick, because I don't like the idea of always having to carry you." Rainbow Dash muttered as she dropped him, watching as he barely managed to land on his hooves.

"I'm sure your opinion on that will change later." Tucker said, laughing.

"In your dreams." Rainbow Dash said. "C'mon, let's go try and find the others."

"You make me feel as if you don't want to be alone with me." Tucker said. "But I know you do. Nobody can resist Dr. Love for long."

"Have your balls healed yet?" Rainbow Dash asked, bending over and started putting on a fake, seductive demeanor.

"Yeah, they totally work now." Tucker said, excitedly walking up behind her.

"Good."

Rainbow Dash then kicked Tucker in the balls and started to walk away.

"Oh fuckberries." Tucker groaned. "My fuck berries!"

"I warned you not to say anything. Now let's go before you dig yourself into an even deeper hole."

"I-I don't think I can walk." Tucker said. "Can you carry me?"

"No." Rainbow Dash said, still walking.

"Ah well. You can't blame a guy from trying." Tucker said.

Tucker then stood up, holding his manhood and started limping after Rainbow Dash. It took them several minutes to get to the market, mostly due to the fact that Tucker kept falling to the ground moaning. But when they got there, they spotted Applejack among the crowd.

"Hey, there’s some of them now." Rainbow Dash said.

"Fantastic." Tucker moaned.

"Hey! There's Rainbow Dash." Pinkie exclaimed. "Rainbow Dash! We're over here."

"Hey Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said, walking up to them. "What are you guys doing?"

"What's wrong with Tucker?" Caboose asked.

Rainbow Dash turned and looked at Tucker, raising her eyebrow.

"I fell down some stairs." Tucker said quietly.

"I hate when that happens." Caboose said. "I was thinking about getting one of those magic chairs that move up and down the side of the steps."

"No, I think I've done enough falling for now." Tucker said.

"Glad to hear it." Rainbow Dash said.

Sarge looked at Tucker and started laughing. "What's so funny?" Tucker asked.

"You didn't fall down stairs, did you Tucker?" Sarge asked, still laughing.

Tucker didn't answer, he just glanced at Rainbow Dash, which made Sarge laugh even harder.

"I think I'm liking her already." Sarge said, wiping a tear out of his eye.

"Want to know what? Fuck you Sarge." Tucker grunted.

"I'm willing to bet that that was an ironic choice of words there blue." Sarge said with a smirk.

"Calm down you two." Applejack said, walking between Sarge and Tucker, expecting a fight.

"Don't worry, I'm calm." Sarge assured her. "And I'm willing to bet that Tucker doesn't have much fight left in him at the moment."

"You got that right." Tucker said.

"What are you two tal-" Applejack started to ask.

Sarge just smiled and motioned his head to Tucker. Applejack looked at Tucker, who was cradling his crotch. Then she looked at Rainbow Dash who was glaring at Tucker. Applejack started to laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" Pinkie Pie asked.

"You don't want to know." Sarge said.

"Come on y'all. Let's go find the others." Applejack said.

"Okay!" Caboose yelled.

"Let's go check on Grif, I need to make sure I didn't hurt him." Sarge said. "Too much."

"Alright, Fluttershy’s place it is." Pinkie Pie said, starting towards the cottage.

It took just a couple minutes to make it there. Tucker started to feel a little better along the way and stopped groping himself. Applejack knocked on the door and Fluttershy answered.

"Hello Applejack." Fluttershy said, letting her in. "Oh, you brought everyone else?"

Pinkie, Caboose, Sarge and Big Mac walked into the room

"Everyone else?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, Twilight and Rarity are here with Church and Simmons."

Sarge looked over at Grif, and Grif glared back at Sarge.

"Nice to see you too soldier." Sarge chirped happily. "Feeling better?"

"Not particularly." Grif muttered, then looked around. "This room is fucking crowded."

"He has a point." Rainbow Dash said. "How about the guys stay in here and we go outside for a little privacy, I need to talk to you girls anyways."

"Oh alright." Twilight said.

The ponies then left the room, leaving Big Mac and the other stallions in the room.

"Who is the big guy?" Church asked.

"This is Big Mac." Sarge said. "He works on the farm with Applejack."

"He is tall and red." Caboose said.

"Yes Caboose, we can see that." Church muttered.

Tucker stood there awkwardly, trying to get in a comfortable position. "What's wrong with Tucker?" Simmons asked.

"I don't want to talk about it." Tucker muttered.

"Rainbow Dash kicked him in the balls." Sarge said, barely containing his laughter.

The others looked over at Tucker, who then gave an ashamed nod. They all started laughing. All of them but Tucker.

"I hate you guys." Tucker said.

"What the fuck did you do to her?" Grif asked, now sitting up on the couch.

"I sort of... maybe... walked in on her in the shower." Tucker said.

"Was she naked?" Caboose asked.

"They're always naked you fucking idiot." Tucker responded.

"Oh my gosh you're right." Caboose gasped. "Hey Tucker! You said I would never see a girl naked!"

"Caboose. Be quiet." Church commanded.

"Okay."

"Why did you go in the room?" Simmons asked. "Because if you didn't know she was in there then that’s not that bad."

"I knew she was in there." Tucker said.

"You're a fucking pervert." Church said.

"No dude, I knew she was in there, but I had left the room when she started so when I came back to the room I didn't hear anything." Tucker said. "I thought she was done."

"So you thought that the best idea was to barge in?" Church asked.

"I don't know!" Tucker said. "I wasn't thinking, you have to believe me!"

"Don't worry Tucker, we know that you don’t think." Grif said, laughing.

"Thank you." Tucker said, then glared at Grif. "Screw you Grif."

Chapter 21 - "Tag"

Rainbow Dash led the girls far from Fluttershy’s home, stopping by a tree.

"Why did you bring us all the way out here Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.

"We could have just as well talked in a different room of Fluttershy’s home." Rarity said.

"I brought you here so the others wouldn't hear me." Rainbow Dash said.

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

Rainbow Dash looked at the ground and let out a sigh. "Tucker came into my bathroom when I was coming out of the shower." Rainbow Dash said, avoiding eye contact.

Each of the girls gave a slight gasp.

"Is that why he was holding his, er... area?" Rarity asked.

"Yes. Well no." Rainbow Dash said. "That wasn't until later."

"What happened then?" Fluttershy asked

"When he opened the door I instinctively kicked him in the face." Rainbow Dash said.

"And then what did you do next?" Twilight asked.

"Then I closed the door and dried up." Rainbow Dash said.

"That's it?" Applejack said. "Even I woulda done more than that."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Rainbow Dash asked bluntly.

"Well, you aren't exactly the most docile of ponies Dash." Rarity said.

Rainbow Dash was about to retort that statement, then she sighed and stared at the ground, contemplating what to say. After a couple minutes of silence one of them spoke up.

"You like him, don't you Dashie?" Pinkie asked.

"What?" Rainbow Dash said quickly. "No way!"

"It is okay to like him Rainbow Dash." Twilight said, smiling. "He seems like a fun stallion."

"I do not like him! He is arrogant and seems to think that everyone will like him if they meet, he can't take no for an answer, and he is just so... so..." Rainbow Dash said.

"So much like you?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yes. No. I mean he is pretty cute but-" Rainbow Dash started. But after she said that she brought her hooves to her mouth and her eyes opened wide and the girls stared at her.

"So ya think he's cute?" Applejack said, smiling.

"Please don't tell Tucker I said that." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"Why? Are you ashamed?" Twilight asked.

"No, I'm not ashamed." Rainbow Dash said, letting out a sly smile. "I don't want you to tell him because he called it and I have a feeling I would never hear the end of it."

All of the girls started to laugh.

"Besides, I need to make sure that he likes me too before I say anything." Rainbow Dash said.

"That sounds... reasonable, I guess." Twilight said.

"Do you all promise not to tell Tucker?" Rainbow Dash asked.

All the girls replied with a quick nod.

"Thank you." Rainbow Dash said, now laughing. "Let's get back there and make sure they haven’t done too much damage."

The girls then made their way back to Fluttershy’s home and opened the door to find all the stallions, including Big Mac, on the floor laughing. All of them except for Tucker who was standing still, glaring at them, but with a smile.

"What's going on in here?" Applejack asked.

"If you guys say anything I will kill you all." Tucker muttered.

"Say anything about what?" Twilight said, smiling as she already knew the answer to the question.

Tucker noticed her expression and sighed, assuming that Rainbow Dash told the others.

"You're an undeniable bitch, you know that?" Tucker asked.

"You love it." Rainbow Dash said, smirking. Tucker smiled and shook his head.

"So Sarge, I see you got your cutie mark." Twilight noted.

"Yeah, but uh, can we call it something more manly?" Sarge said uncomfortably. "Cutie mark doesn't sound right to me. It reminds me too much of Donut."

"How about we just call it your mark." Applejack said.

"Speaking of that, what did you even do to get it?" Rarity asked.

"I kicked a stallion in the stomach." Sarge said smugly.

"Why am I not even surprised?" Church asked.

"Hey, he had it coming." Sarge grunted. "He disrespected Applejack and Big Mac. I wasn't about to go and let some weakling walk away after he insulted them."

"Some stallion? Do you mean Grif?" Simmons asked.

"No, I kicked Grif after when I saw him at the market." Sarge said.

Simmons and Church looked over at Grif.

"You actually went to the market?" Church asked.

"That's not important. You actually helped someone do something?" Simmons asked.

Grif just smiled lazily and shrugged.

"I would say that you are an asshat, but the opposite seems to be the case here." Church said.

"I prefer butthat." Caboose said.

"We know Caboose."

"If you guys don't mind, I kind of want to sleep." Grif said, rolling on his side. "I have been up for way too long."

"Now that he mentions it, it is getting rather late." Rarity said.

"I agree." Applejack said. "We need to wake up bright n' early to finish buckin' the last of the apple trees."

"I guess we'll be on our way then." Twilight said, walking towards the door. "Goodbye everypony."

All of the ponies then left Fluttershy’s home, each making their way back to their respective places of residence.

"You're not going to kick me in the nuts again, are you?" Tucker asked.

"Not unless you give me a reason to." Rainbow Dash said. "Do you think you can fly now?"

Tucker looked back at his wings and started flapping them slowly.

"They seem to be good now." Tucker said.

"Good." Rainbow Dash said, hitting Tucker on his flank. "You're it."

Tucker stared at her zoom away for several seconds, until he processed what just happened.

"No fair!" Tucker yelled. "I wasn't ready."

"That's too bad." Rainbow Dash yelled back. "I was under the impression that you were a stallion, not a mouse."

"I'll show you who is a mouse." Tucker said, snapping forward after Rainbow Dash.

Tucker then caught up with Rainbow Dash and hit her flank.

"Who is the mouse now?" Tucker yelled.

Tucker looked back at Rainbow Dash who was about to touch him then he stopped. Rainbow Dash tackled him to the ground.

"Why did you stop?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Tucker did not say anything, instead he kissed her on the lips.

Chapter 22 - "Dreams"

Rainbow Dash and Tucker laid on the ground for a couple seconds in their embrace, but then Rainbow Dash pulled back her head and looked at him, squinting.

"A little forward, aren't you Tucker?" Rainbow Dash asked, raising her eyebrow but keeping her smile.

"Yeah, you already decimated my dick so I figured I didn't have much more to lose." Tucker replied, laughing slightly. "What are we going to do now?"

They both then sat up and looked at the stars.

"It really is a nice night." Rainbow Dash said. "Be a shame to sleep it away." Tucker looked at her and started grinning. "That's not what I meant." Rainbow Dash laughed. "I mean do you want me to show you around Cloudsdale? Your wings seem to be working now so I can show you the cool sights."

"Sure, sounds good." Tucker said, getting off the ground.

"I think I know a place that you will like." Rainbow Dash said, flying towards Cloudsdale.

"All right lead the way." Tucker said, flying after her.

Rainbow Dash led Tucker all the way to Cloudsdale and stopped by a large, circular building.

"What is this thing?" Tucker asked.

"This is where pegasi learn how to fly, and they also do aerial shows every so often." Rainbow Dash said, gazing at it wistfully. "And it is also where the Wonderbolts perform."

"Who are the Wonderbolts?" Tucker asked.

"They're the best flyers in all Cloudsd- no, all of Equestria." Rainbow Dash said. "It has been my dream to join them one day."

"Cool. Is that them?" Tucker asked, pointing to a poster.

Rainbow Dash trotted to the poster and started looking it over. Once she got to the bottom her eyes opened wide and she started smiling.

"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!" Rainbow Dash said excitedly.

"What?" Tucker asked.

"The Wonderbolts are performing in the next few days! We totally need to go see it." Rainbow Dash squealed.

"I don't have any money to pay for a ticket, do you?" Tucker asked.

Rainbow Dash looked at Tucker and frowned slightly. "I don't think so." Rainbow Dash said sadly.

"Well," Tucker said, looking at the poster. "We have almost a week to get some cash."

"Yeah, that's true." Rainbow Dash said, tapping her chin. "It doesn't cost too much, so we might be able manage it."

"Cool." Tucker said, grinning. "They sound awesome."

"They are." Rainbow Dash said, now flying back home. "We'll figure out how to get some work tomorrow, but for now I'm feeling tired."

Back down in Ponyville, the others arrived at their residences and went to sleep for the rest of the night. All except Church, who sat outside the Twilights place gazing at the stars. Twilight was asleep, but Spike found himself restless so he decided to go downstairs and grab a bite to eat. When he got to the bottom he noticed the door was ajar and that Church was sitting on the grass.

"What are you thinking about Church?" Spike asked, stepping outside, forgetting about food.

"Everything that's been happening." Church said.

"What do you mean by that?" Spike asked.

"I'm not sure. Everything just seems to be moving way too fast." Church said. "Like how we're all adapting to this situation. And how we seem to fitting in too well with everything. Look at Caboose and Pinkie for example, they have the exact same personality. And look at Tucker, he managed to learn in one night. It unnerves me."

"Maybe it was a hidden talent." Spike suggested.

"The only talent Tucker has is one for trouble." Church chuckled.

"Sounds like you are just making excuses." Spike said.

"Excuses for what?"

"Maybe you're starting to like it here, and you're just trying to find a reason not to."

Church looked at the stars and smiled.

"I am starting to like it here, why would I look for a reason to not like it?" Church asked.

"Maybe you guys just didn't fit in from where you came from and you are simply not used fitting in now." Spike said. "Maybe you're looking for a reason to go back."

"Maybe you're right." Church said, and he yawned. "I think I'm going to go to bed."

"Alright, I'm going to grab something to eat." Spike said. "Night Church."

"Night Spike." Church said, walking up the stairs to the spare room.

Church crawled into his bed and promptly fell into a deep sleep. The next morning Sarge was awoken early by Applejack over at Sweet Apple Acres.

"Rise'n shine Sarge." Applejack said, tapping on Sarge’s shoulder. "If we hurry we can finish buckin' all the apples today."

"Sounds good." Sarge said, yawning heavily and stretching.

Applejack smiled and left the barn, Sarge got up and followed soon after. By the time he’d gotten outside, Big Mac had already started to work. Instead of exchanging pleasantries, the group just went straight to work. It took them just a couple hours to finish off what was left of the apple trees.

"Listen Sarge." Applejack said, wiping sweat off of her brow. "I know I've said it before, but I'll say it again. I really appreciate you helpin' us out. We made you a little thank you gift, it's inside the house."

"You shouldn't have." Sarge said. "Is it a shotgun?"

"What in tarnation is a shotgun?" Applejack asked.

"The most beautiful discovery since hurting Grif." Sarge said, pretending to wipe a tear from his eye.

"No it isn't a shotgun." Applejack said, laughing slightly. "It is something much better than that."

"Better than a shotgun?" Sarge said. "I find that hard to believe."

"Come on, it'll be easier if we just show ya what it is." Applejack said, opening the door to the home.

"Better than a shotgun." Sarge muttered. "That'll be the day."

Applejack made her way to a table where Granny Smith and Applebloom were sitting. There was a small box that sat on the table and Applejack grabbed it. She then walked up to Sarge and held it up to him.

"We know it isn't much, but we still hope ya like it." Applejack said, rubbing the back of her neck.

Sarge grabbed the box and opened it slowly and saw a dark brown stetson hat.

"You got me a hat?" Sarge asked.

"We dun’ have much so it was hard t' find a proper way to repay ya." Applejack said. "We just wanted t' tell ya that we really do appreciate ya bein’ here Sarge. And we consider ya to be apart of the apple family now."

Sarge gazed at the hat and grabbed it. He put it on and looked back at Applejack.

"D'ya like it?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah. Yeah I do." Sarge said happily.

Chapter 23 - "Lessons"

Rarity woke up early to her doorbell ringing. She made her way down the stairs and slowly opened the door to find a grey pegasus holding brown bag.

"Morning, Rarity." Derpy said.

"Good morning, Derpy." Rarity yawned.

"I have some mail for you!" Derpy said.

Rarity smiled as the clumsy pegasus reached in her bag and pulled out a pile of letters and envelopes. Derpy handed all of them to Rarity and smiled.

"Have a good day Rarity!" Derpy said, slowly walking backwards.

"You too Derpy." Rarity said, smiling back.

Rarity then closed the door and started looking through all the mail, the majority of it belonging to somepony else. She sighed as she knows she will have to find who they belong to. Simmons then got up and yawned.

"Who was that?" Simmons asked.

"That was the mailmare. Apparently I have mail." Rarity said.

Simmons raised his eyes and saw Rarity holding nearly one hundred envelopes. "I would have never guessed." Simmons said.

"They're not all mine." Rarity said, putting them on a table. "In fact, there is a chance none of them belong to me."

"What a reliable mail service this place has." Simmons said sarcastically.

"Well, Derpy may not be the most reliable pony, but her heart is in the right place." Rarity said.

"Her name is Derpy?" Simmons laughed. "You're kidding right?"

"No, why?" Rarity said curiously.

"Well it's just that back where me and the others are from, Derpy is a..." Simmons started but then cleared his throat. "Nevermind, it doesn't matter. Need any help?"

"It would be much appreciated." Rarity said, pushing half the mail over to Simmons.

Simmons started shuffling through all the letters, all of which belonged to somepony else. He kept going and once he got to the last letter he stalled.

"Who is Fancypants?" Simmons asked.

"Fancypants is only the most important pony in Canterlot." Rarity gasped, snatching the letter away from Simmons. "Let me see that."

Rarity opened it and scanned it quickly, then looked up at Simmons with a huge grin plastered on her face.

"This is amazing news!" Rarity said.

"What is?" Simmons asked.

"Fancypants is sending over one of his friends to get a suit made in a few days." Rarity said. "Apparently he has a rather unique build, so I have to fit him. He said he remembers my work from a party I attended while back and figured I would be the best candidate for making him a fantastic suit."

"That's pretty cool, I guess." Simmons said.

"Do you think you could help me?" Rarity asked.

"How could I help?" Simmons said. "I'm not exactly the best choice of partners for making clothes."

"Well, I know of another way you could help." Rarity said.

"And what would that be?" Simmons asked, raising his brow.

"I could show you how to use the spell that would hold him in place while I get his measurements." Rarity said.

"Do you think I could really learn how to do it?" Simmons said. "I don't know how to use magic."

"You and I both know that is not true. Remember how you broke my spell when you saw that I was getting overworked?" Rarity asked. "I was surprised that you managed to do so and it shows that you have an aptitude for magic."

"Hey, yeah." Simmons said happily. "Okay, sure. Show me how to do it."

"Let's go upstairs." Rarity said, standing up. "You will need complete concentration and we don't want you to get interrupted."

Simmons nodded and followed Rarity up to her room.

"Okay." Rarity said, standing straight up. "To begin, you must clear your mind of everything."

"But I know so much." Simmons said, semi-sarcastically. Rarity looked at him and smiled sweetly. "Okay, clear my mind. What comes next?" Simmons asked.

"Now imagine yourself grabbing me and holding me down." Rarity said.

Simmons raised his brow for a second but shook it off and started concentrating. "Uh, alright." Simmons said. "Then what?"

"The next step is to use that mental image and, I guess, project it through your horn." Rarity said. "It is kind of hard to explain since it is an ability unicorns are born with. Here let me..."

Rarity tried to take a step towards Simmons but found herself unable to move. She then looked at Simmons and started to smile. Simmons shook his head, breaking concentration.

"Holy shit. It worked." Simmons said, a shocked expression spreading across his face. "I did it."

"You're a fast learner."

"You're a great teacher."

"You're far too kind." Rarity giggled. "Are you feeling hungry?"

"Sort of." Simmons said.

"How about we make our way to a cafe and grab something to eat." Rarity said. "My treat."

"Sounds good to me." Simmons said with a smile.

Rarity and Simmons made their way out the boutique and soon found themselves in front of a cafe. Rarity told the server to get a table for two and he led them to a small table inside. The server gave them menus and made his way to the kitchen. Simmons looked at the menu with an inquisitive eye.

"Not much of a selection..." Simmons said. "Just a couple sandwiches and the like."

"Yes, but what they lack in quantity they make up for in quality." Rarity said.

The server made his way back to their table with two glasses of water and stood at attention.

"What can I get you folks?" The server asked cheerfully.

"I will just have a daisy sandwich." Rarity said, handing the menu over to the server.

"I'll have one as well." Simmons said, doing the same.

The server nodded and trotted over to the kitchen and swiftly brought out two sandwiches and brought them over to their table. Simmons thanked him and took a bite out of it.

"You were right, this is delicious." Simmons said.

"I know I was right." Rarity said, winking playfully at Simmons. "So, tell me more about yourself."

"I'm not that interesting." Simmons said without a hint of humor.

"Even so, I would like to get to know you more." Rarity said.

"Alright then." Simmons said, quickly finishing off the sandwich.

He spent the next hour telling Rarity about himself, and after he was finished Rarity did the same. After they finished, Rarity paid the bill and the pair walked out of the restaurant, both clearly enjoying themselves.

Chapter 25 - "Strange Behaviors"

Fluttershy walked up to Sugarcube Corner and rang the doorbell. She stood silently for several seconds until Caboose opened the door to greet her.

"Oh. Hello Caboose." Fluttershy said.

"Hello." Caboose chirped happily.

"Is Pinkie here?" Fluttershy asked sweetly.

"Yes." Caboose replied simply.

Caboose then closed the door. Fluttershy stared at the door for a couple seconds before she realized her mistake and rang the doorbell again.

"Hello again!" Caboose said happily.

"Hi. Pinkie told me to stop by, can you go tell her I'm here?" Fluttershy asked.

"Okay." Caboose said.

Fluttershy then walked into the bakery and Caboose sprinted off to the kitchen and told Pinkie that Fluttershy was here.

"Fluttershy! Isn't this a surprise?" Pinkie said, walking out of the kitchen.

"You asked me to come..." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Oh yeah." Pinkie said, placing her hoof on her face. "Silly me. Follow me upstairs, I need your help with the babies."

Cabooses ears perked up and his pupils slowly started to dilate.

"Caboose, do you want to come meet the babies?" Pinkie asked.

Caboose stared at her and his eyes were nearly completely black.

"No." Caboose said, voice deep and raspy. "I am quite fine here, thank you."

Fluttershy stared at Caboose and felt a wave of unease pass through her and she shuddered. Pinkie eyed Caboose curiously.

"Okay then..." Pinkie said slowly, making her way to the stairs.

"What happened to Caboose?" Fluttershy asked, voice shaking. "He seemed... strange back there."

"Oh, don't worry about him. He's just playing a game." Pinkie said happily, then tightened her smile. "I think."

Fluttershy looked down the stairs at Caboose who was staring out the window, his fur seemingly darkening.

"Are you alright?" Fluttershy asked.

Caboose then shook his head and his eyes and fur went back to normal.

"No, I'm Caboose." Caboose said with a smile, voice back to normal pitch.

Fluttershy smiled at Caboose, then made her way to the room where Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake were asleep.

"What do you need my help with?" Fluttershy asked, smiling at the sleeping foals. "They seem to be okay to me."

"Oh, I know." Pinkie said. "It's just that their first birthday is coming up soon, so I wanted you to help me plan the party."

"I would be happy to help." Fluttershy said. "What do you need me to do?"

"I want you to bring some animals so there could be a small petting zoo for them to play in." Pinkie said.

"That sounds nice." Fluttershy said with a smile. "I'll try my best."

"That's all I could hope for." Pinkie said.

The two girls then made their way down the stairs and the door suddenly swung open. Angel had somehow opened the door, sweating profusely.

"Angel, what's wrong?" Fluttershy gasped. "Where is Grif?"

Angel shook his head and started out the door, not turning back. Fluttershy’s instincts told her to not ask questions, immediately starting to follow Angel. Pinkie then shuddered violently.

"There’s a doozy a-coming." Pinkie said, running out the door.

"How do you know?" Caboose asked, galloping after Pinkie.

"My Pinkie sense told me so." Pinkie said.

Angel stopped at the entrance to the Everfree forest and started pointing inside. Fluttershy stared worriedly inside. "He went in there? Doesn't he know dangerous it is in there?"

Pinkie and Caboose then caught up to Fluttershy, noting the extremely worried expression on her face. "What's wrong?" Pinkie asked.

"Grif went into the Everfree forest." Fluttershy replied.

"We need to get the others." Pinkie gasped. "Caboose, you go get Twilight and Church. I'll go get Applejack and Rarity. Fluttershy, you go find Rainbow Dash. Meet back here as soon as you find them."

Fluttershy nodded and started flying towards where Rainbow Dash lives. Pinkie Pie started to run towards Sweet Apple Acres. Caboose looked at the forest and then ran off in a random direction, thinking he was going to the library.

"Let go you fucker." Grif yelled, kicking off a timberwolf that was biting on his leg. "Screw it, I'm just going to run."

And with that, Grif lunged forward to escape the predators. He glanced around at the trees, no discernible path, he kept running in a straight line. He knew that the timberwolves were going to catch up to him and it was only a matter of time. Then he remembered something. "I have wings. Why am I running?"

Grif then focused on his wings and flapped once, shooting through the tree branches into the air and making cuts on his body. Another flap of his wings and he soared above the tree line.

"Woah. This is awesome!" Grif exclaimed. "I'll never have to walk again."

He then straightened his wings and stared straight down.

"Now how the hell do I go back down..." Grif muttered. Grif retracted his wings and started to spiral towards the ground. "Not my best day." Grif grunted before slamming his face on the ground.

Grif tried to stand up but fell over in a daze. He looked at his body and saw that his wings had bite marks on them, and there was the occasional chunk missing from his back legs.

"They got me more than I thought." Grif said, laughing weakly. "Ow, my body."

He then heard another branch snap and glanced to where the noise was coming from. There was a pony in a robe standing still, watching from a distance. Grif sighed and collapsed on the ground from blood loss. Back at the entrance to the forest, all the ponies were gathered, all staring nervously at the forest.

"Why did he run in there?" Applejack asked. "Doesn't he know how dangerous it is in there?"

"Grif doesn't know anything." Sarge grunted. "Let's go."

"You really care about Grif, don't you Sarge?" Twilight asked.

"As lazy as that son of a bitch is, he is still one of my men. Besides, Grif and I both know that I am going to be the one that will be the death of him."

"We should hurry, it looks like the sun will be setting soon." Simmons remarked.

The group nodded in agreement and started to make their way into the forest to find Grif.

Rhymes

The group was slowly following hoof tracks, presumably made by Grif. As they got deeper into the forest, more and more prints started to appear.

"Are those..." Rarity said quietly.

"I think so." Twilight confirmed. "Timberwolves."

"What the fuck is a timberwolf?" Tucker asked.

"Timberwolves are a subspecies of the canine family. They have the appearance of a wolf, but they are made out of wood. They are generally bigger than other wolves and their barkish hide makes them more impervious to damage."

"Suddenly I don't feel like being in here." Simmons said.

A low growl was heard coming from their left. Their eyes snapped to the darkness where there was a pair of yellow eyes watching them.

"Stay close to each other." Twilight gulped. "They won't attack us if our group is larger than theirs."

The animal then barked and jumped out of the bushes. It was not a timberwolf, but rather a friendlier canine.

"Haley." Fluttershy squeaked. "What happened?"

Haley barked and started to follow the hoof tracks and the group followed quickly. Haley slowed down and whined.

"What's wrong girl?" Fluttershy asked.

Haley looked at Fluttershy sadly, then back at the ground. There were tufts of orange-yellow fur, and specks of blood flecked across the ground. The girls gasped but the guys just stared at the scene indifferently.

"Quit your worrying." Sarge said, laughing weakly. "Grif is a resilient bastard. There's no way he could die by a couple of wild dogs."

The girls regained some of their confidence and nodded in unison. The group then followed the tracks until they suddenly disappeared. Sarge stared at the tracks for several seconds then looked up.

"Oh no." Rarity gasped.

Sarge said nothing but pointed up in the trees, where there was a gaping hole and tree branches splintered everywhere.

"Did he ever try to fly before?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"When he was with me he seemed content to be on the ground." Fluttershy noted.

"As much as it pains me to say, Grif is a fast learner when it suits him." Sarge grunted. "Come on, we're burning daylight."

"We don't know where he went though." Twilight said. "How are we supposed to-"

A cough was heard from beside them, and they quickly turned to see a zebra in a robe staring at the group. Before any of the guys could react, Twilight spoke. "Zecora! We need your help, our friend came in to the-"

"You need not tell me of information I already know. I am keeping him safe. Let us go."

Twilight nodded and the group followed her lead and went with Zecora. It only took them a minute to get to Zecora’s hut, where she opened the door and motioned them inside.

"Where is Grif?" Simmons asked.

"He is asleep on my bed, though he is hard of breath." Zecora said somberly. "It is hard to tell now, but this may end in either life... or death."

The mares gasped, but once again the stallions stared indifferently. They found themselves uneasy about how well the guys were taking the news while Zecora left the room to check on Grif.

"Does she always speak in rhymes?" Tucker asked quietly.

"Yes." Twilight replied.

"That won't get annoying." Tucker muttered sarcastically.

Zecora then came back out of the room with a smile on her face.

"How is he doc?" Caboose asked.

"Your friend is perfectly alright, though I advise you to stay out." Zecora said. "It will be only a matter of time until he can run and shout."

"Let me go see him." Sarge laughed, walking towards the door. "I'll show you that he is perfectly okay, he is just being lazy as usual."

"No, the young stallion needs his rest." Zecora said. "All we can do now is hope for the best."

"Listen Zecoran." Sarge started.

"Zecora." Twilight corrected.

"Listen Zecora." Sarge grunted. "You don't know Grif. That bastard has survived far more than any man could hope to endure. I've shot him, he's exploded, he has fallen off of a damn cliff and he is still kicking. I'm sure he's fine."

"Even so, we must let his fresh wounds mend." Zecora said. "The pain of a timberwolf bite will be hard for your yellow friend."

As she said that the door to the room swung open slowly.

"How many times do I have to say it." Grif said weakly. "I'm fucking orange."

Sarge laughed cruelly at the sight of Grif.

"Good to see you too Sarge." Grif muttered, coughing up a little blood.

The others stared at his body, looking at all of the scars and pieces missing out of him.

"How are you standing?" Twilight gasped.

"Sarge has put me through far worse than this." Grif said with a weak laugh. "It will take a lot more than a few wild dogs to keep me down."

"Told you so." Sarge said smugly. "Grif is pretty tough."

Sarge punched Grif in the gut and he fell to the ground.

"Fuck, my kidney." Grif grunted.

"Man up." Sarge said, smiling wickedly.

Grif laughed and gritted his teeth through the pain.

"Go fuck yourself Sarge." Grif said with a grating laugh.

"You two are horrible." Rarity said. "How can you two even call yourself friends?"

Grif and Sarge stared at Rarity. Then they glanced at each other and burst out laughing.

"Good one Rarity." Grif said, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Well, will you look at that." Church said.

"What?" Grif asked.

"You got your mark." Church said, trying to hide a laugh.

"Really? Cool, what is it?" Grif asked.

Sarge burst out with laughter.

"That just made my life." Sarge said, rolling helplessly on the ground. "I should have guessed it would be something like that."

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this..." Grif muttered, turning his head to look at his cutie mark and groaned. "Really? That is my "special skill"? This fucking sucks."

"I say it fits you perfectly." Sarge said smugly.

"What is it?" Twilight asked.

"I guess you could say it shows how resilient he is." Simmons noted.

"Back where we're from, that symbol is something we put on crash test dummies." Sarge said with a large grin.

Rest

Grif left the building and sat outside as the other guys were making fun of him, Fluttershy following close behind him. There was a clear view of the sunset and Grif felt oddly at ease. Fluttershy sat with him, staying silent as they both watched the sun set.

"It’s so beautiful." Fluttershy said.

"Yeah, I never really took the time to watch the sun go down from where I'm from." Grif said. "Now that I think about it, I don't even remember the sun moving. It really makes you feel at peace."

Fluttershy raised her brow then frowned as she looked at Grif’s tattered appearance.

"Does it hurt?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"It fucking kills." Grif said with a laugh, then he shrugged. "But I've lived through worse."

"How do you do it?" Fluttershy asked.

"How do I do what?" Grif asked in return.

"Everything." Fluttershy said. "You look like you should be in the hospital, but here you are outside, watching the sun set. Maybe we should get you checked at the hospital."

"Stop worrying about me." Grif said. "I'll be perfectly fine, I just really need some sleep. My body may appear to say otherwise, but I am perfectly fine."

Fluttershy nodded then hugged Grif tightly. Grif stared at Fluttershy with a confused expression.

"Uh, what was that for?" Grif asked.

"For going out of your way to save Angel." Fluttershy said.

"Don't mention it." Grif said, blushing slightly.

"I really do appreciate it though. I mean, look at you. You seem to be in a lot of pain and I feel like you are trying to hide what you are feeling."

"The only thing I felt was guilt." Grif admitted with a weak laugh. "I fell asleep while watching the animals. If I had stayed awake then none of this would have-"

Fluttershy leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Grif was taken aback and flinched. Fluttershy pulled her head back and she blushed deeply.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do tha-" Fluttershy gasped.

"Don't worry about it." Grif coughed awkwardly. "We've all had a long day. Let's go tell the others we're ready to go."

"Okay." Fluttershy said, her cheeks deepening in color.

Grif then got up and limped to the door. Fluttershy got up and took some of his burden by placing his foreleg around her neck. Grif let out a brief smile, then shook it off and opened the door.

"Alright, you guys ready to get moving?" Grif asked.

All of them nodded and made their way out the door. Once all the others left, Grif looked at Zecora.

"Listen, uh, Zecora. I just wanted to say thank you."

Zecora looked at Grif and nodded before she walked in to the next room. Grif then went outside with the others and they made their way back the way they came. Grif limped at a steady pace thanks to Fluttershy and Tucker carrying him along. The group saw that they were being watched by the timberwolves and Grif couldn't help but feel that they were watching him specifically.

"Pick up the pace Grif." Sarge grunted. "We're almost there and I don't like the way they're watching us."

"Yeah, because being watched by them is so much worse than being attacked by them." Grif grunted, trying to speed up.

They finally got out of the forest and they said their goodbyes, leaving Fluttershy and Grif alone.

"I can't wait to get some more sleep..." Grif groaned quietly.

Fluttershy smiled and slowly aided Grif to her house with Haley by his side. She opened the door and Grif took his leg away from her and started to limp to the couch. Fluttershy walked slightly faster and blocked him.

"You go sleep in my bed... if you want to, that is." Fluttershy said quietly. "I'll sleep on the couch."

"Are you sure?" Grif asked hesitantly.

"Yes, you need a good night’s rest." Fluttershy said.

"Okay, sweet." Grif said, walking into her bedroom. "Thanks. G'night Fluttershy."

"Good night Grif." Fluttershy said happily.

Grif looked back at Fluttershy who was climbing on the couch, trying to get comfortable. Grif smiled and then went to close the door behind him, but Angel ran up to Grif and hugged his leg and he smiled.

"You're... welcome?" Grif asked.

Angel looked up at Grif and closed his eyes and then ran to the couch and curled up next to Fluttershy. Grif yawned as Haley ran through the door and jumped on the bed and instantly fell asleep. "You've got the right idea." Grif said, jumping onto the bed.

It took Grif only a few seconds to fall asleep in the bed, which was currently the comfiest place he could ever dream of sleeping on.

Grif woke up to find that Fluttershy was standing next to him with a bowl. Grif groaned as he propped himself up.

"Ugh, my back is so damn stiff." Grif muttered sourly.

Fluttershy said nothing as she propped a wooden tray over him then placed the bowl on it.

"Uh, thanks?" Grif said.

Fluttershy smiled, and Grif noticed that her cheeks were a brilliant shade of crimson. She squeaked when she saw that he’d recognized this, and hurried out of the room, leaving Grif alone with his soup. Grif finished it quickly, finding himself hungrier than he had thought he was. After he finished, he got off the bed and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His scars seem to have been treated and the more serious wounds were patched up. He groaned and left the room and Fluttershy was sitting on the couch with Angel.

"I'm glad to see you are up." Fluttershy said. "You were so... dead... to the world."

"How long was I asleep?" Grif asked.

"It was about seven in the evening when we got back, and it is almost noon now. I hope you don't mind, but I went in and treated your wounds while you were asleep."

"I don't mind at all. Thanks for patching me up."

"Not at all." Fluttershy said with a smile. "I like helping ponies just as much as I like helping animals."

"What a coincidence." Grif said with a laugh. "I love being helped."

Pre-Party

Church and Twilight were sitting downstairs having a light breakfast when they heard a knock on the door. Twilight opened the door to be greeted by a flurry of balloons being launched at her. When the bombardment stopped, she looked up to see Pinkie with an abnormally large grin.

"Twilight!" Pinkie yelled. "Isn't it the most awesomeicious stupenderific thing ever?"

"What are you talking about." Twilight asked.

"It's the Cake twins’ birthday tomorrow!" Pinkie said, giddy with anticipation. "They're turning one year old."

"Oh right." Twilight said. "Then what are you doing here right now? Shouldn't you wait until tomorrow to have the party."

"Haven't you heard of a pre-party party?" Pinkie asked.

Twilight rolled her eyes but smiled.

"It will be a small party if it's just you, me and Church." Twilight said.

"Don't be silly Twi, I brought Caboose." Pinkie said.

"Hello." Caboose said, seemingly appearing from behind Twilight.

"How did you get in?" Twilight asked.

"It's our little secret." Pinkie answered for Caboose.

Church finished eating and left the kitchen to see what was happening.

"Church!" Caboose yelled, running around Church.

"Hey Caboose." Church said, confused. "What are you guys doing here?"

"They want to throw a pre-party party for the twins at the Sugarcube Corner." Twilight said.

"Okay then." Church said. "I've never heard of a pre-party party."

"Neither have I." Caboose said with excitement. "I am so excited I could just keep running."

Caboose kept running in circles around Church until Church got slightly annoyed.

"Caboose. Stop running." Church said.

"Okay." Caboose said, coming to a screeching halt.

"Geez, you're a party pooper." Pinkie said jokingly.

"You can poop parties?" Caboose gasped. "That sounds amaz-"

Church stuffed his hoof in Caboose’s mouth and sighed.

"Is it just going to be the four of us?" Church asked.

"Of course not silly, you're going to get the others with Caboose while me and Twilight set up." Pinkie said.

"I don't remember volunteering for this." Church said.

"Caboose was kind enough to volunteer your time." Pinkie said happily.

"Great." Church said sarcastically. "Thank you Caboose."

"See, I told you he would be happy!" Caboose said.

"Alright, let's make this quick though." Church grunted.

"Okay!" Caboose said, galloping out the door.

Twilight stared at Church and they both shrugged. Church then followed Caboose grudgingly. It took them a couple hours to tell the others, but eventually they all made their way back to the library.

"You're looking better." Simmons said to Grif.

"I feel better." Grif said. "Too bad you still look like shit."

"You're an asshole, you know that." Simmons said.

"Grif, don't disrespect others." Sarge said. "That's my job."

"I learned it from watching you!" Grif said over-dramatically.

The others then started to laugh and they then found themselves in front of the library where the door shot open and Caboose ran inside.

"Hi everypony!" Pinkie said happily. "Are you ready to pre-par-tay?"

"Totally!" Tucker said. "It's been awhile since I've been to a pre-party."

"You're kidding, right?" Church said.

"Fuck no man." Tucker said. "What, you've never been to one?"

Church face hooved as he shook his head.

"I knew you were lame." Tucker laughed.

"Fuck you."

"Sorry, I know you like dudes. But-" Tucker started.

"Tucker how are your balls feeling right now?" Church grunted, tensing his back leg.

Tucker glared at Church then decided to not say anything as they all made their way inside the library.

"So what is this party for exactly?" Simmons said, looking around.

"The Cakes had twins one year ago tomorrow!" Pinkie said.

Sarge squinted at Caboose, who was drawing on a piece of paper.

"So you have babies living in the same building as Caboose?" Sarge asked nervously.

"Well yeah, babies can't live on their own you silly!" Pinkie replied.

"Right." Sarge said, still watching Caboose. "What are you doing Caboose?"

"I am drawing a picture!" Caboose said. "It is hard to grab the crayons though."

"That's because you don't have any fingers." Tucker said.

"Oh my god, they took my hands!" Caboose yelled. "Ohhhhh, never mind, I remember now."

Church let out a deep sigh and glanced at the other stallions.

"I'm surrounded by idiots..." Church thought to himself, but found himself smiling.

"So Church, how are you liking it here?" Rarity asked.

"It's alright I guess." Church said. "How has Simmons been doing?"

"Fantastically." Rarity said happily. "He is a great help around my boutique. I don't think it’s been this organized in months."

"That's... surprising." Church said.

"I hope ya don't mind me askin'." Applejack said. "But why do you guys always seem to be at each others throats?"

"We're not at each others throats." Church said.

"But ya'll are always yellin' at each other..." Applejack said.

"Some things are just hard wired." Church said, without realizing the slight irony of his statement.

"Look Church, I made a picture of us!" Caboose yelled.

Caboose ran up to Church, holding a piece of paper in his teeth. There were two crudely drawn stick horses, one being blue and the other being light blue. Church looked at it and smiled awkwardly.

"Uh, thanks Caboose." Church said, grabbing it from him. "It looks... good?"

"Thank you Church! Hey wait, what if my special talent is drawing?" Caboose said looking at his blank flank.

"I don't know Caboose." Tucker said sarcastically. "I think eating crayons would be more your speed."

"Hey, yeah! I've always wondered what they tasted like!" Caboose said.

Caboose then ran to one of the crayons and tossed it in his mouth and bit it before anypony could stop him. He promptly spat it out and ran to the punch bowl and grabbed a drink. He then looked at his flank and frowned.

"Nope, that's not it." Caboose said. "They taste pretty bad."

"Maybe it’s being an idiot." Tucker said. "You seem to be pretty good at that."

"Maybe yours is being hit in the balls." Church said to Tucker. "You seem to be pretty good at that."

"Alright everypony, just settle down." Twilight said.

"Yeah, let's get this party started!" Pinkie yelled, slamming her hoof on the boombox which started playing music.

Warning

Church stood watching Pinkie and Caboose dance awkwardly for a while, then decided he would take a breather and take a step outside and Tucker followed.

"Pretty boring party, eh Church?" Tucker said. "If only we could get some actual drinks here, then it would be a party."

"Yeah." Church laughed. "How is it going with Rainbow Dash? She still crushing your balls?"

"Not recently." Tucker said, chuckling lightly. "But it's pretty good man. She is quick tempered, but at least she isn’t Tex. How is staying with Twilight?"

"It's alright I guess." Church sighed while looking at the moon.

Tucker stared at Church in silence for a bit. "You miss her, don't you?" Tucker asked abruptly.

"Of course I do you fucking idiot." Church muttered.

"Why don't you just forget her?" Tucker asked.

"I tried. Before Caboose forced me out I tried to let her go." Church said, then looked at the ground. "But no matter what, it's not enough in the end. I've tried loving her, I've tried to forget her but neither of those worked."

"Maybe you are supposed to do something else." Tucker suggested.

"No fucking shit. Do you have any other wonderful observations?"

"Hey man, no need to be a dick. I'm just trying to help."

"Tucker and help aren't exactly things you expect to hear being put together on a day to day basis." Church retorted.

"Whatever man. Quit being so fucking mopey."

"I don't exactly have a lot to be happy about these days." Church muttered.

"I know something that might make you happy." Tucker said.

"Oh yeah?" Church asked. "And what would that be?"

Tucker pointed to a window and Church looked inside to see everypony laughing. Caboose was holding hooves with Pinkie with a big smile on his face.

"As much of a pain in the ass Caboose is, I have to say he seems to be really happy here." Tucker said. "Probably the happiest I've ever seen him, and I'm kind of happy for him."

"You're happy for Caboose?" Church asked with a laugh.

"I know man, it surprised the fuck out of me too." Tucker said. "This place is just too damn happy to hate anything. And honestly, look at Caboose and tell me you don't feel happy for him."

Church then looked at his hooves and glanced at the drawing and he started to smile.

"You're right. I am kind of happy for him." Church said, then sighed. "Hey Tucker?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Church and Tucker then went back into the library.

"So is there anything fun to do around here besides party?" Grif asked. "Not that partying is a bad thing to do."

"Well, you could borrow one of my books if you want." Twilight said.

"Ugh, no thanks, I'm not an egghead." Grif said. "Simmons might be interested though, he's pretty fucking boring."

"Fuck you Grif." Simmons said.

"Yeah, you wish." Grif said smugly, sipping on a glass of punch. "So just books? Anything other than that?"

"You could always give Cloudsdale a try." Rainbow Dash said. "I'm sure the aerial sports teams wouldn't mind using you for practice."

"Forget I said anything." Grif muttered.

"You don't need to do a lot of things to have fun." Fluttershy said quietly. "The most fun I have is when I sit around with my animal friends and watch them play with each other."

Grif looked at Fluttershy and smiled tightly. Sarge glanced at Grif and hit him in the shoulder lightly and winked. Grif shook his head and glared at Sarge, though a goofy smile was glued to his muzzle.

"So what's going to be happening at the party tomorrow?" Church asked. "Is it going to be the same thing as this?"

"Don't be silly." Pinkie said. "How would little foals have fun at an adult pony party like this?"

Church looked over at Twilight who shrugged lazily. Sarge then glanced over at Caboose who was standing idly, not listening to the conversation.

"Hey Caboose?" Sarge muttered.

"Yes Sarge?" Caboose asked.

"Are you going to see the little ones at the party tomorrow?" Sarge asked.

"Of course I am! I wouldn't ever miss a Pinkie party!" Caboose said.

"Uh-huh." Sarge grunted. "Pinkie, mind coming outside? I need to tell you something."

"Okay Sarge." Pinkie said, hopping out the door, Sarge close behind her, closing the door behind them.

"What did you want to tell me?" Pinkie asked.

"Has Caboose met the babies yet?" Sarge asked quietly.

"No." Pinkie said, confused. "When I asked him if he wanted to meet them he started acting strange. His eyes were really scary and there was something else..."

"His voice changed, right?" Sarge asked nervously.

"Yeah. How did you know?" Pinkie asked.

"You don't want to know." Sarge said. "All you need to know is that Caboose should not go to the party tomorrow."

"Why is that, silly?" Pinkie asked.

"It is hard to explain, but it's not just his appearance that changes." Sarge said.

"What do you mean?" Pinkie asked.

"Long story short he goes crazy." Sarge said. "And not regular Caboose crazy. Dangerous crazy."

"Caboose? Dangerous? You must be confusing him for somepony else." Pinkie said.

Sarge stared at Pinkie, who just sat there smiling innocently.

"Never mind, just forget I said anything." Sarge said. "Go back in and have some punch."

"Great idea." Pinkie said happily, walking back into the punch bowl.

Sarge looked through the doorway at Caboose who was walking around and laughing. Sarge worried for what Caboose would do to the babies so he sighed and slowly walked up to Caboose.

"Hey Caboose." Sarge said quietly. "I need to tell you something but it is a secret. Want to hear it?"

"Sure." Caboose said.

"Alright, but we need to whisper, we don't want the others to hear." Sarge whispered.

"Oh that kind of secret." Caboose whispered back. "What is the secret?"

"Pinkie just told me that the party is going to be somewhere else tomorrow, so I need you to come to the farm and we’ll go together, okay?" Sarge said even more quietly. "Just don't tell anybody."

"Okay Sarge!" Caboose whispered back, not thinking of questioning him.

Post Pre-Party

Everypony left the library after a couple more hours of partying. Tucker and Rainbow started to fly back to her place.

"Did you like the party?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I've been to better." Tucker shrugged. "But it was fun."

"Pinkie’s parties will grow on you." Rainbow Dash said.

"Maybe." Tucker said. "So what are we going to do to get those tickets?"

"Tickets? Oh, the Wonderbolts. I completely forgot about them." Rainbow Dash admitted. "We still have a couple days until then, we'll just have to try to find some work tomorrow."

"What about the party?" Tucker asked.

Rainbow Dash looked at the ground and sighed sadly.

"It would make Pinkie sad if we didn't show up..." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"So there is what? Four days until the show?" Tucker asked. "That should be enough time with the two of us working to make the money."

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash said, starting cheer up. "It will just be extremely hard."

"Bow-chika-bow-wow." Tucker said quietly enough so Rainbow Dash didn't hear, but then spoke up. "See, that's the spirit."

"I really hope we get to see them." Rainbow Dash said. "And hopefully they will remember me."

"Remember you? You've met them? That's pretty cool."

"I didn't just meet them." Rainbow Dash said smugly. "I saved their lives."

"You saved their lives? Of course they're going to remember you if you fucking saved them."

"It wasn't really a question, I was just thinking out loud."

"Okay." Tucker said. "Anyways, do you know any place that has a job opening?"

"None come to mind. But we can worry about that later. I want to go to bed so I can be well rested for tomorrow."

"Maybe we can see if any of your friends have any odd jobs to do or maybe some spare cash."

"Maybe."

Tucker and Rainbow Dash then arrived back at her place and they went straight to sleep.

Rainbow Dash awoke the next morning to find that Tucker wasn't in the bed. She sat up and looked around and couldn't see any sign of him. She rubbed her eyes and opened the bathroom door to take a shower. As she lowered her hooves from her eyes, she saw Tucker stepping out of the shower. Rainbow Dash yelped and slammed the door shut. Tucker chuckled and dried himself up and opened the door.

"Do you have any idea how rude it is to come in unannounced?" Tucker asked sarcastically.

Rainbow Dash glared at Tucker and he laughed. "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were in there." Rainbow Dash said while blushing. "I didn't mean to walk in on you."

"Sure you didn't." Tucker laughed. "I know that you wanted to catch a glimpse of mini-Tuck."

"Yeah I totally wanted to be scarred for life." Rainbow Dash said. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again."

"That's a shame. Alright, so are we going to the party or what?"

"Yeah, just give me some time to shower." Rainbow Dash muttered. "And if you need me you better knock."

"Are you saying I look like a gentlecolt who doesn't respect privacy?" Tucker asked, smiling sweetly

"Bite me." Rainbow Dash grunted.

Back at Sugarcube corner Caboose woke up and started to get out of the bed. This woke Pinkie up and she yawned.

"Watcha' doing Caboose?" Pinkie said.

"It's a secret." Caboose said quietly.

"A secret?" Pinkie asked. "I love secrets!"

"So do I!" Caboose said happily.

Pinkie then jumped off the bed and grabbed Cabooses leg.

"Can you tell me the secret?" Pinkie asked. "Pretty please."

"I don't know, Sarge told me to not tell anyone that I was going to the farm." Caboose said.

"You're going to the farm?" Pinkie asked.

"Yes." Caboose gasped. "How did you know? Can you read minds?"

"Why are you going to the farm?" Pinkie asked.

"Sarge told me that you told him and he told me that you moved the party somewhere else so we were going to go there together." Caboose said.

"That is a great idea!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"I know, Sarge is nice to walk with me there." Caboose said happily.

"No I mean we should move the party to the farm!" Pinkie said. "That would give Fluttershy’s animal friends lots of room to walk around!"

"That is an amazing idea!" Caboose said. "I will go tell Sarge!"

"Okay. I'll go get the others. And thank Sarge for me, okay?"

"Will do Pinkie!" Caboose said.

Caboose then went down the stairs and out the door and made his way to the farm. When he got there, Sarge was lying down under a tree with his stetson over his face.

"Good morning Sarge." Caboose said, running up to him.

"Good morning to you too blue." Sarge said.

Sarge took the hat off his face and placed it on his head then stood up.

"You look like a cowboy horse!" Caboose exclaimed. "Wait if you're a horse does that mean you ride a cowboy when you play?"

Sarge laughed slightly then shook his head. "Alright you ready to go?"

"Yes Sarge!" Caboose said, saluting weirdly. "And Pinkie told me to thank you."

"Thank me for what?" Sarge asked, confused.

"For letting us have the party here." Caboose said happily.

"You told her you were coming here?" Sarge asked with a mixture of nervousness and anger.

"No I didn't." Caboose said. "She is psychotic."

"It's psychic, and no she isn't." Sarge grunted.

Caboose looked at the ground and blinked.

"I think I told her I was coming here." Caboose said. "I'm sorry Sarge. I didn't mean to ruin the surprise party."

"I'll forgive you, I just need you to follow me in to the farm to set up." Sarge said.

"Okay." Caboose said as Sarge led Caboose into the barn.

"Okay you set up in there, and I'll go make sure nobody ruins the surprise." Sarge said.

"Good idea!" Caboose said, running into the barn.

Sarge then slammed the door and placed a piece of wood on it, locking Caboose in.

"This isn't going to be good..." Sarge muttered.

Extra Preperations

Sarge ran to the house and burst through the door. He found Applejack having breakfast and he walked up to her, eyes shifting from side to side. "Applejack. We have a problem." Sarge said bluntly.

"A problem?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah, one that could destroy the farm as we know it." Sarge grunted dryly.

"What d'ya mean? What's the problem?" Applejack asked nervously.

"I told Caboose to come come to the farm and he told Pinkie, now she wants to throw the party here." Sarge said.

"That's no problem, we have plenty of room for a party." Applejack said with a laugh.

"It ain't the party that is the real problem. It's Caboose." Sarge said

"Are you scared of Caboose?" Applejack asked.

"Yes, but not the Caboose you know." Sarge said.

"What could that sweet stallion do that makes you so nervous?" Applejack asked.

"A while back there was this AI that-" Sarge started.

"What is an AI?" Applejack asked, raising her brow.

"An artificial intelligence." Sarge said. "But there was this artificial intelligence named O'Malley and-"

"What in tarnation is an artificial intelligence?" Applejack asked.

Sarge did not know how to describe an AI. Sighing, he continued, "We'll just call it an evil spirit. So there was this evil spirit named O'Malley that found his way to where me and the blues were and started jumping in and out of our bodies to make us angry." Sarge explained. "But when he went into Caboose, it seems that he left something behind. When we were stuck in a strange place a while back, Caboose made himself get angry by thinking negative thoughts and he became this... demon. He managed to get us out. Last night I told him to come here, but I didn't plan on him telling the pink one"

"What made Caboose angry?" Applejack asked nervously.

"He started thinking about cats with spikes on them, but after he became angry he yelled that he hates babies." Sarge said. "I'm worried about what will happen if he sees them, and what he could do to them."

Back in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie was going to everypony’s home to tell them about the change of plans. It only took her half an hour to gather all of them. Fluttershy stayed behind to gather all the animals.

"Does Applejack know we are going to be at the farm?" Twilight asked.

"Of course she does, Sarge must have told her!" Pinkie laughed.

"I don't know about that. Sarge doesn't like to include others in his plans." Grif said sourly. "When he does they usually involve trying to kill me." The girls started to giggle.

"I find it funny that they think you're joking." Simmons said quietly into Grif’s ear.

"Tell me about it." Grif said sourly, then started to laugh.

"Here we are." Twilight said. "Sweet Apple Acres, home of the Apple family."

Applejack and Sarge heard Twilight’s announcement. They shared a quick glance with each other before they went outside to greet them.

"Hey there everypony." Applejack said. "Where are the twins?"

"We can't bring the twins until we have made sure the party is all prepared." Pinkie said, hopping to the barn. "Say, why is this log in the door?"

Pinkie removed the wood and opened the door to be met with a barrage of pink and blue confettis. When the thin papers settled she saw Caboose sitting in the middle of the building with a party hat on.

"I don't remember seeing this stuff in here before I locked you i-, I mean uh, left you here to prepare." Sarge said. "Where did all of this stuff come from?"

"You told me to set up the party so I made some confetti and some hats." Caboose said, pointing to a table. "I even made some punch."

"How the hell did you manage to do that if you were in here with nothing?" Tucker asked.

Caboose looked at Pinkie and she winked back at him.

"It's a secret." Caboose said with a smile.

"Well, it looks like Caboose has everything under control." Pinkie said. "I'll go get the twins!"

Pinkie then hopped out the door. Sarge watched her while trying to think of something to prevent Caboose from meeting the babies. Applejack eyed Sarge who looked deep in thought.

"Hey Caboose." Applejack said. "Why don't ya have any snacks made? We are on an apple farm so you could have made some treats."

"I'm sorry." Caboose said sadly.

"Don't ya fret Caboose." Applejack said happily. "I can show you one of our families recipes that you can cook up faster than you can say lickety split."

"Lickety split." Caboose said simply.

Applejack laughed, then looked at Sarge who was smiling at her, knowing what she was doing. She smiled back at him then started to leave the farm house.

"C'mon, I'll show you where the kitchen is." Applejack said, leaving the building.

"Okay." Caboose said excitedly, following Applejack.

"Keep him away from the knives." Tucker said as Caboose left.

As Tucker finished his proclamation, Fluttershy walked into the barn with many small animals following her. The other ponies watched as Fluttershy corralled all the critters to the back of the barn. "I know I don't have to tell you but I need you to be on your best behavior." Fluttershy said to the animals. The animals then nodded as she turned and trotted up to the others. "I hope that the twins aren't afraid of them."

"I think there is a better chance of the twins scaring the animals." Twilight said with a laugh.

"I think I'm going to go help Applejack and Caboose with the cooking." Sarge said.

"Sarge you don't seem like the kind of guy that would be in to cooking to me." Tucker scoffed.

"Someone has to make sure Caboose doesn't go and burn the place down." Sarge said with a smile.

Sarge suddenly sped up when he realized Caboose burning down the farm was more than likely.

"Sarge seems to be acting weird." Grif said.

"I know what you mean." Simmons said. "He seems very nervous for some reason."

Small Ponies

Sarge walked into the kitchen, where Granny Smith and Applejack were at the stove while Caboose was sitting at a table, mixing something together in a bowl.

"Sarge look! I'm helping!" Caboose said happily.

"Uh, keep up the good work." Sarge said.

"Okay!" Caboose chirped.

"So what are you making?" Sarge asked.

"Apple family apple cake." Granny Smith said while slicing an apple.

"Didja come here to help?" Applejack asked.

"Just came to make sure that Caboose hadn't destroyed anything." Sarge laughed.

"I'm sorry Sarge, I will try harder." Caboose said, now vigorously mixing the substance.

A moment later, Caboose stopped and looked in the bowl and frowned. "I'm sorry, I tried my hardest to make it explode." Caboose said sadly.

Granny Smith walked up to the table and looked in the bowl and smiled.

"Why, you must be the best mixer I've done seen in my life." Granny Smith said happily, patting Caboose on the back.

"I'm the best you've seen?" Caboose gasped. "I am amazing."

"Good for you Caboose." Sarge said. "I'm gonna go use the stallion’s room."

Pinkie trotted towards the barn with Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake sitting on her back. She burst through the door, humming lightly.

"Hey everypony, the party foals are here!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"Hey little guys." Grif said while approaching Pinkie. "What are their names?"

"The cutesy-wootsy little unicorn is Pumpkin Cake, and the aww-dorable pegasus is Pound Cake." Pinkie said. She then turned and looked at the twins. "This is Grif. Say hello to Grif!"

The twins looked at Grif and gurgled happily. This caused Grif to laugh.

"I like them already." Grif said with a chuckle. "They seem to like me."

"Give it time." Simmons said.

Grif glared at Simmons, then they both broke out laughing. Pinkie grabbed the twins and placed them on the floor near the animals.

"Where is Caboose?" Pinkie asked.

"He is in the kitchen baking with Applejack." Church said. "I'm a bit worried, I haven't heard any screaming yet."

"I wonder what they're baking?" Pinkie asked.

"Why don't you go check? We'll keep an eye on the birthday twins." Twilight said.

"Okay." Pinkie said, hopping out the door.

Applejack pulled the cake out of the oven and started placing caramelized apples on the top. After she finished decorating, she cut the cake into slices and put one candle in two of the slices. Pinkie walked into the room and looked at the cake and started grinning.

"That looks delicious Granny Smith!" Pinkie exclaimed, running up to the cake.

"Thank ya' Pinkie." Granny Smith said. "Caboose was more than helpful with the baking though."

"I stirred a bowl!" Caboose said excitedly.

"Good job Caboose." Pinkie laughed. "How about we go and bring the cake to the twins!"

"I hope they like it." Applejack said.

"I'm sure they will." Pinkie assured her. "Let's go, I'm so excited right now."

Applejack grabbed the platter with the cake on it and left the kitchen. Pinkie and Caboose smiled and followed her out the door. Sarge returned to the room and looked around.

"Where did AJ and Caboose go?" Sarge grunted.

"They went to bring the cake to the foals." Granny Smith said, wiping flour off of her hooves.

Sarge’s eyes darted to the door and he galloped at full speed to the barn. He burst through the door, expecting the worst. But what he found was Caboose sitting next to the little ones, laughing and eating cake. He watched curiously as Caboose was making silly faces to the young ones.

"Caboose... you're not angry?" Sarge asked, confused at the display.

"Why would I be angry?" Caboose asked innocently.

"I thought babies made you angry." Sarge said.

"These aren't babies, they are small ponies." Caboose said. "They are two completely different things."

Sarges eye twitched furiously and his flank dropped to the ground. He glared at Caboose, then his features softened. "Of course they are." Sarge said.

"I don't know why ya got so worried Sarge." Applejack said. "Caboose is gittin' along better with the foals than a bee to flowers."

"Yeah. I guess I was just a little worked out from buckin' those apples." Sarge said, laughing roughly.

"This is a great party Caboose." Pinkie said, hugging Caboose. "I can't wait for my birthday. I hope you can throw me a party as nice as this."

"I will not throw you a party as nice as this." Caboose said. "I will throw you the greatest party ever!"

"The greatest party ever?" Pinkie gasped. "Is that even possible?"

"Is what possible?" Caboose asked.

Before Pinkie could answer, the two foals crawled up to Caboose and hugged his back legs. He leaned over and looked at them between his legs.

"Hello little ones!" Caboose said. "Why are you upside down?"

Caboose then lifted one of his back legs and placed Pound Cake on his back. Once Pound Cake was settled in, he did the same for Pumpkin Cake. Caboose smiled and ran outside and started to run around a tree, laughing wildly. Everypony smiled and went outside to watch them play. Everypony except Sarge. Simmons and Grif were halfway out the door before they stopped.

"What's on your mind Sarge?" Simmons asked.

"Nothing." Sarge mumbled, walking towards the door.

Simmons looked at Grif and they both shared a shrug.

"Sarge, why do you look so... annoyed?" Simmons asked.

"He means more than usual." Grif added.

"I don't know." Sarge grunted. Sarge looked at Caboose who was now hopping around the tree.

"Sarge... are you mad about something?" Grif asked.

"No, it's just that I worked my flank off to prevent Caboose from meeting the little ones." Sarge said. "I was under the impression that he would go crazy at the sight of them."

"What would make him do that?" Grif asked.

"Let's just say when O'Malley was in Caboose's mind he taught him how to get angry." Sarge said. "Remember a while back when you re-configured that telepowatchamacallit?"

"Yeah..." Simmons said with a nod.

"Before we got to it, there was a group of idiots standing in between us and it." Sarge said. "Caboose got angry and went berserk on their dumb asses and killed them all so we could escape."

"Caboose did that?" Grif asked.

Sarge nodded.

"Then why are you annoyed?" Simmons asked. "It seems like everything went well..."

"That's just it. All that build up, just kaput." Sarge said. "It's like something out of a horribly written story."

Happiness

Caboose put the foals on the ground and sat down next to a tree, breathing harder than usual. "I'm tired." Caboose stated plainly.

"Generally that's what happens when you run for an hour straight." Church replied.

Caboose yawned. He then glanced at his flank and started to grin. "I got my marky thingy!" Caboose exclaimed, hopping up and down, exhaustion suddenly dissipated.

"What is it? What is it?" Pinkie asked.

Pinkie ran up to Caboose and looked at his cutie mark, her smile spread from ear to ear.

"It looks just like Pinkie’s..." Rarity said.

"Yeah, but the top is different for some reason." Twilight said.

It was a trio of balloons, the left and right ones were light blue and the one in the middle was pink. But the pink one wasn't a regular balloon. It was the shape of a heart.

"This is awesome!" Caboose yelled.

"I was half expecting your mark to be a dunce cap." Tucker said.

"Nice going Caboose." Church said, punching Tucker in the shoulder for his reply.

"Your special talent is the same as mine!" Pinkie said, hugging Caboose.

"Your special talent is blowing balloons?"

"No silly, it's throwing parties."

"I am just about to be brilliant!" Caboose exclaimed. "If we both make a party together, we can make it a double party!"

"A double party?" Pinkie gasped. "That is brilliant."

The Cake twins crawled up to Caboose and started playing with his hooves. "Thank you for letting me throw a party for you." The little ones giggled and hugged him as the mares all quietly cooed at the sight.

"It's enough to make you sick." Grif said, dry heaving sarcastically.

"Tell me about it..." Sarge said, before he broke out in laughter. "Oh well, good for him. He’s having a good time."

"Sarge... are you happy?" Simmons asked.

"For a blue?" Grif added.

"Caboose is surprisingly a good kid." Sarge grunted. "He may be blue, but I have a feeling he is all red on the inside."

"He is all red on the inside." Simmons said matter-of-factly.

"That's the spirit Simmons!" Sarge said.

"No, I meant..." Simmons started. "You know what? Never mind."

Pumpkin and Pound both yawned and lay down next to Pinkie and Caboose. "Look's like Caboose ain't the only one who’s plum tuckered out." Applejack said.

"I don't like plums though." Caboose said.

"You're right they really do look pooped." Pinkie said, slowly picking up Pumpkin Cake. "I guess I have to bring them back home so they can go to sleepy-weepy."

"Does this mean that the party is over?" Caboose asked.

"Sorry Caboose, but me n' Sarge need to clean up the barn right quick." Applejack said.

"What? I don't want to clean up." Sarge said. "Simmons! Grif! I order you two to clean up the barn."

"Hey Sarge, I don't know if you noticed but we aren't soldiers right now." Grif said. "We don't have to take any of your shit."

"Besides, Rarity needs my help tomorrow with a client." Simmons said.

"Simmons, having sex for money? Even I have to admit that that is pretty scandalous." Grif chuckled.

"I hate you so fucking much." Simmons muttered.

"Sarge, they weren't the ones that made the party happen here, it was you." Applejack said. "That means it's your job to help clean."

"Dammit." Sarge muttered. "I hate cleaning."

Grif chuckled and started to walk away with Fluttershy.

"Have fun Sarge." Grif chirped happily.

"Let us go Simmons. We must be well rested for the work of art we will be making tomorrow." Rarity said.

Simmons nodded as Pinkie took Pound Cake and placed him on her back with Pumpkin Cake and dragged Caboose up to his hooves.

"We should get going too." Pinkie said. "Thanks for letting us have the party here Sarge."

"Yeah, yeah." Sarge grumbled.

"Good night Sarge." Caboose yawned.

"Night." Sarge said.

The others then followed suit, said their goodbyes and departed the farm. Tucker nudged Rainbow Dash in the side and motioned his head to the others. Rainbow Dash nodded and cleared her throat. "Hey Rarity?"

"Yes Rainbow Dash, how may I help you?" Rarity said.

"I was just wondering if maybe you need any help at the boutique." Rainbow Dash said. "Me and Tucker need to make some bits."

Rarity raised her brow and stared at Rainbow Dash.

"What do you need the money for?" Rarity asked.

"Well it's just that the Wonderbolts are in town in the next few days and me and Tucker wanted to go see them." Rainbow Dash said.

"Sorry Dashie, but I don't have any work for you." Rarity said sincerely.

"Oh." Rainbow Dash said sadly. "Does anybody else have anything we can do?"

"You can come by Sugarcube Corner and bake with me." Pinkie said.

"Really?" Rainbow Dash asked happily. "That would be awesome. Thanks Pinkie!"

"No problem." Pinkie said happily.

"Come on Tucker, we'll need to hit the hay early tonight if we're going to be working all day tomorrow." Rainbow Dash said, taking off straight towards her house.

"Fuck." Tucker muttered under his breath, flying after Rainbow Dash.

"I don't think Tucker is the best choice for a cook." Grif said.

"The same could have been said about Caboose, but he seems to have done well." Church said.

"Thanks Church." Caboose said groggily.

Soon they all split up and went to their homes for a good sleep. In just an hour, everypony was asleep.

Everypony except for Simmons, who had decided to stay up a bit longer to practice using magic, interested in seeing what else he could do. He decided to start with something small. He focused on the letters that were still on the table and he lifted a couple into the air. He smiled at his success and slowly widened his focus to encompass more and more of the cards. Soon enough he had all of them levitating just above the table and he closed his eyes and started organizing them by street name. He opened his eyes and felt a rush to his head, staggering as he suddenly he felt extremely tired.

"Woah." Simmons groaned. "Maybe I'm trying to raise the bar a little too fast."

Simmons then piled the messages neatly, keeping them organized and he released his magical grip on the letters. The pounding in his head slowly disappeared. However, he decided against trying any more magic, instead opting to go to sleep instead. He wouldn't be much help to Rarity if he was tired and sick.

Cupcakes

*Mature warning, light gore in this chapter.*

"Are you excited to make some food?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Not really, I'll probably just fucking burn it." Tucker laughed.

"I'm sure you'll do fine." Rainbow Dash said encouragingly.

Rainbow Dash knocked on the door and Pinkie answered with a smile.

"You're here!" Pinkie exclaimed happily.

"Yeah, we really need the cash." Rainbow Dash said. "Listen Pinkie I really appreciate you letting us help you."

"Not at all, it's the least I could do for my friend." Pinkie said.

"Yeah. Say where is Caboose?" Tucker asked.

"Don't worry about him, he is just preheating the oven." Pinkie said.

"Well, this place will be burning down any second now." Tucker laughed.

Rainbow Dash and Tucker started giggling but Pinkie just stared at him with a smile.

"You ready to get cookin'?" Pinkie asked.

"Yeah whatever. What are we making?" Tucker asked.

"We're just going to be making a bunch of cupcakes, as we have just received a large order for them." Pinkie said.

"Okay cool. I can dig cupcakes." Tucker said. "What kind are we making."

"It's a secret." Pinkie said.

Tucker raised his brow at Rainbow Dash who just shrugged in return. The pair then followed Pinkie into the kitchen and he looked at the oven.

"Look, Caboose didn't even turn the fucking oven on." Tucker said.

Tucker looked to the left and saw Rainbow Dash lying on the ground.

"Hey what happened to her?" Tucker asked.

"The same thing that's going to happen to you." Caboose said.

"Wha-" Tucker started before he lost consciousness.

When Tucker woke up, he found himself chained to a table in a dark room. He grunted and tried to break free, but he gave up after a couple of minutes as there were no signs of his bindings letting up. Instead he let his eyes adjust to the dark. His heart filled with horror as the wall came into focus. The wall was obscured by knives and other tools, all caked with what appeared to be blood. He resumed his struggle, trying to release himself once more, but to no avail. Tucker swallowed and a harsh pain shot through his throat.

"Is anybody there?" Tucker croaked weakly. Tucker licked his lips and swallowed some saliva to moisten his throat. It still hurt when he breathed, but it was significantly lessened. "Is anybody here?" Tucker asked, clearly this time.

No answer was given to him. He knew better than to waste his breath on screaming, instead he decided to look around the room. The walls had strange wallpaper on them. It looked as though it was made out of scraps of fur. "Not much of an interior designer." Tucker muttered sarcastically.

Tucker then noticed a dripping sound coming from next to him, and when he cocked his head to the left to see he flinched. There was a ponies corpse sitting next to him. Except it wasn't just a corpse, it's skin was completely torn off, but there were weird bones sticking out of the side.

"What the fuck?" Tucker said loudly. "Where the fuck am I?"

As Tucker continued scanning the corpse, he noticed that there was a patch left on its flank, and when he saw what was on it, his heart dropped. It was Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark. Tucker had to choke back the vomit that was threatening to spew out.

"Rainbow Dash..." Tucker said weakly, a tear forming in his eye.

Tucker then heard a door slam open in front of him, and light poured into the room. Tucker closed his eyes as they burned when he looked ahead. When he reopened them a second later, there was utter darkness again. This time, however, Tucker felt a presence in the room.

"Who's there?" Tucker asked nervously.

He gazed into the darkness, eyes now maladjusted due to the sudden changes in lighting. He was able to make out a figure staring at him from where he assumed the door was.

"Good, you're up." A raspy voice said.

"Who the fuck are you? What the fuck did you do to Rainbow Dash?" Tucker yelled angrily through the pain in his neck.

"You're in no position to be asking questions Tucker." The voice said.

The mention of his name had his spine shivering with fright.

"Caboose? Is that you?" Tucker asked weakly.

"Aw, you ruined the surprise." Caboose said sarcastically, flicking a switch which made a light turn on above Tucker.

Tucker quickly closed his eyes against the renewed onslaught. When he opened them, he yelled at the sight in front of him. Caboose was standing there, eyes completely black and seemingly devoid of life. Caboose was also wearing a cloak. It took Tucker a couple seconds to realize that this cloak had several pairs of wings on it, and it was all too clear to him that those weren't fake wings.

"Do you like it?" Caboose giggled, spinning in a slow circle.

"What the fuck Caboose?" Tucker said angrily. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Making cupcakes of course."

Tucker eyes dilated when he realized what he meant.

"What? Does Pinkie know that you're going to be fucking murdering me?" Tucker yelled, angry tears streaming out of his eyes.

"Of course silly, who else do you think carved Rainbow Dash up?"

"I always knew you were crazy, but I didn't think you were fucking sick." Tucker growled.

"Oh please, you're being far too kind." Caboose said with a laugh.

"How the hell do you think the others will react once they find out what the fuck you're doing?" Tucker asked.

"I'm sure they would be appalled." Pinkie said, appearing from his side brandishing a blow torch. "But I think they will love the cupcakes. They're my own special recipe."

"Let me go, you stupid cunt." Tucker yelled, trying to free himself.

"Don't wear yourself out." Pinkie tutted. "If you struggle too much then it just doesn't taste the same."

"Bite me." Tucker grunted.

"I plan on it." Pinkie laughed wickedly. "Now that we’ve warmed up on little Dashie over there, I think we can make it even more painful and much longer."

"Help!" Tucker yelled. "These fuckers are trying to kill me!"

Caboose walked up to Tucker and punched him in the jaw.

"You should have heard the way Dashie squealed. It was adorable." Pinkie giggled. "Even through all the pain, she kept thinking of you alone. She begged me to let you free. Her last breath was your name."

Tucker gazed at Rainbow Dash, tears streaming down his face. Caboose then walked up to Tucker and placed a spike on one of his wings. He then grabbed a hammer with the other one and slammed the nail in. Tucker screamed in pain as Caboose pounded a second nail into his other wing.

"Before you lose your voice, do you have any last, inspiring words?" Pinkie asked.

"Yeah." Tucker said. "I hope you choke you fucking bitch."

Pinkie and Caboose both shared a dark laugh as Caboose placed another spike in Tuckers mouth this time. Tucker closed his eyes shut and felt the spike go through as Caboose slammed the hammer down.

“Tucker?” Caboose asked

Tucker lunged straight up and yelped. His face was covered in a cold sweat and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Tucker what's wrong?" Rainbow Dash asked with a worried expression on her face. "You kept yelling in your sleep. It was beginning to make me scared."

Tucker looked over at Rainbow Dash and didn't say anything. Instead he hugged her tightly.

Special Recipe

"Tucker what happened?" Rainbow Dash asked, pushing Tucker off of herself.

"Don't worry about it." Tucker said, laughing nervously.

"Your face is pale, your eyes are bloodshot and your voice is cracking. Plus you kept kicking and screaming, so I kind of have a reason to worry."

Tucker rubbed his face and then started to laugh. "I just had a nightmare." Tucker muttered. "But it seemed like a lot more than a nightmare. It felt so fucking real."

"What happened in it?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously. Tucker just shook his head. "Come on, don't be such a baby, tell me what was it about?"

"Honestly, you really fucking don't want to know." Tucker replied, lying back down.

"How bad could it have been?" Rainbow Dash chortled .

Tucker looked over at Rainbow Dash with no expression on his face. Rainbow Dash lied back down and sighed.

"We should get up soon anyways, it's almost time to go help Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said.

"Fuck that."

"Don't you want to go see the Wonderbolts?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Tucker muttered something under his breath and got off the bed. He went to the shower and turned it on and stood there rubbing his face.

"It was just a fucking dream. I can't let it get to me." Tucker groaned and then chuckled lightly. "Besides, if Caboose had a knife the only thing he would end up killing is himself."

After a couple of minutes he got out of the shower and dried off.

"Feeling better?" Rainbow Dash laughed.

"You don't think a dream would bother me that much, do you?" Tucker said. "I was just kidding around."

"I don't know, that looked pretty genuine to me." Rainbow Dash said with a smirk.

"Screw you." Tucker pouted, but then smiled again. "You look like you had a good night’s sleep."

"Yeah, I was having the greatest dream before you woke me up." Rainbow Dash said.

"Oh really? What were we doing in it?" Tucker asked, winking at her.

"You wish." Rainbow Dash said, closing the door behind her.

Tucker made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. He looked around and then grunted. "I wish she had stuff to eat besides just bread and wheat..."

Rainbow Dash dried herself off and made her way downstairs to find Tucker fiddling with a sandwich.

"Aw, you're not making me one?" Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically.

"Yeah yeah, hold your horses." Tucker said, smiling dryly.

When Tucker finished with his he set to work on a second one. Rainbow Dash grabbed the one Tucker had already made and took a bite out of it.

"You know, this isn't that bad." Rainbow Dash said. "I thought you said you didn't know how to cook."

"Making a sandwich isn't cooking." Tucker muttered.

"Well keep up the good work. I might hire you as my personal chef." Rainbow Dash said

"Shit, does this mean I'm the woman?" Tucker asked.

"Pretty much." Rainbow Dash said, smirking at Tucker.

"God dammit." Tucker muttered.

Over at Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie was just waking up. She yawned and hopped off the bed before showering. When she came out she saw that Caboose was still sprawled across the bed, snoring loudly.

"Wake up Boosey," Pinkie sang.

"I don't want to go to school today." Caboose whined.

Pinkie smiled and shook her head. She threw the cover back on Caboose and she left the room. She made her way down to the kitchen and turned on the oven. As she did, Mr. Cake walked into the room.

"Pinkie you might have to work a little bit longer today." Mr. Cake said. "We have a large order placed for a party. We will need an extra twelve dozen cupcakes."

"Twelve dozen." Pinkie said. "Got it."

"Should I go get Caboose to help you?" Mr. Cake asked.

"No it's okay, Rainbow Dash is coming over and she is bringing Tucker to help me." Pinkie said.

"Alrighty then. Me and the Mrs. are going out for a bit, so take care." Mr. Cake said, leaving the room.

"Will do Mr. Cake!" Pinkie said. "I wonder when Tucker and Dashie are going to get here."

She shrugged at her own question as she broke some eggs into a bowl, topping it with a pinch of salt. She stirred vigorously for a minute until she ended up with the thick foam. Satisfied with the foam, she then added some lemon juice, vanilla and sugar, quickly whipping the concoction into a homogeneous mess. Satisfied with this result, she grabbed a second bowl and promptly filled it with flour, cocoa and baking soda, quickly folding the dry ingredients together. She then mixed the contents of the two bowls, blended them, and spooned the resulting mixture into a cupcake pan, already prepared with the cupcake shells. She threw it in the oven just as the the doorbell rang.

"Hey Rainbow Dash, you're finally here!" Pinkie said. "I already started, so come on in."

"Where is Caboose?" Tucker asked.

"He's still sleeping." Pinkie said.

Tucker sighed but looked at Rainbow Dash and nodded. The trio then went back to the kitchen.

"So what kind of cupcakes are we making?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Oooo, they're the best cupcakes ever!" Pinkie said. "They're my own special recipe."

And with that, Tucker booked it out of the kitchen.

"What's eating him?" Pinkie asked.

"I don't know." Rainbow Dash muttered. "Let's just get to work without him."

Tucker kept running until he found himself in front of the library. He burst through the door and looked around the room. Church was sitting on a chair and he glanced at Tucker worriedly. His face was paler than usual and he was sweating. "Tucker, is that you?" Church asked.

"No it's fucking Jesus H. Christ." Tucker said. "Who else is as sexiful as me?"

"What are you doing here?" Church asked.

"Oh I just thought I would, uh, check to see what you're up to." Tucker said.

"You wanted to see... what I was up to?" Church asked curiously.

"You're right, I didn't realize what I was saying until I had said it." Tucker said. "Okay, well I had this fucking nightmare and it really got to me man."

"Aw, poor Tucker, did you wet the bed too?" Church asked with a chuckle.

"Fuck you you asshole. I'm serious it was some fucked up shit." Tucker said.

"Alright, tell me what happened in your little nightmare."

"Caboose and Pinkie were using ponies as the main ingredient to cupcakes." Tucker said with a straight face.

Church burst out laughing and fell to the ground.

"You know what? You're a prick." Tucker said.

Fashion Trends

Simmons was sitting at the table having his breakfast when the doorbell rang. He put the food back on his plate and hopped off of the chair. However, Rarity had run down the stairs and opened the door by the time Simmons had even managed to enter the front room. There was a tall, white unicorn with dark red hair smiling at the pair, with a bag hanging off of his back. His cutie mark was a film reel. Rarity couldn’t help but feel as if she had seen him before.

"Hello, you must be Rarity." The unicorn said with a smile. He dropped the bag he was carrying next to the door and extended his hoof. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine." Rarity said, shaking the unicorns hoof. "You must be Fancypants' friend, mr..."

"Westhoof. Flint Westhoof." Flint said.

"The Flint Westhoof?" Rarity gawked.

"At your service." Flint said, bowing slightly. He then looked at Simmons, noting his blank flank with curiosity.

"Who is Flint Westhoof?" Simmons asked.

"I am one of Equestria’s most famous actors. You must have seen one of my many works." Flint said with a smile. "Surely either 'A Fistful of Bits' or 'For A Few Bits More' rings a bell. How about 'A Perfect Equestria'? No? 'The Unicorn, The Pegasus and The Pony'?"

Simmons shook his head at each of the titles, not even sure if they were plays or movies or the like.

"Odd. Maybe I'll have to invite you along next time I have a performance." Flint said. "I am told they are excellent."

"Sounds... good." Simmons said, not sure what to say to him.

"I should hope so." Flint said with a smile. "Enough about me, let's say we get started on the suit then, hm?"

"Yes, right away sir." Rarity said. "Follow me and we shall get started."

Simmons and Flint nodded and went up the stairs with Rarity in to her studio. Flint saw the small platform and stepped on it without being told.

"How long is this expected to take?" Flint asked. "I am in no hurry to leave though, don't take this as a sign of impatience but as a sign of curiosity."

"Usually it would take an hour or two, but because of your build I would say... at least four." Rarity said.

"I didn't expect to be standing for that long." Flint chuckled. "I can't be held accountable for if I fall from exhaustion."

"Just tell Simmons when you start to feel weary." Rarity said while gathering cloths. "He is adept at magic, and I have taught him a spell to hold ponies in place."

"Ah, I was told that you were a solo artist. I did not expect an assistant." Flint said.

"What else would I be?" Simmons asked.

"I was under the assumption that you two were special someponies." Flint suggested.

Rarity and Simmons looked at each other and smiled.

"No, we're just friends." Simmons said. "We don't have that much in common."

"That's a shame, you two would make a cute couple." Flint said. "Let us begin."

Rarity nodded and started to take Flint’s measurements, then immediately set off to work. She had worked for two hours when Flint coughed.

"Now?" Simmons asked.

Flint nodded and Simmons started the spell. Around the third hour mark, Simmons started to strain from the over use of magic, but he kept pushing.

"I hope you don't hurt yourself on my account." Flint said. Flint then focused on Simmons and broke the spell. Before Simmons said anything Flint spoke once again. "I appreciate the rest, uh... what was your name? I don't think I caught it."

"Simmons."

"Well I thank you Simmons, but I think I can stand the rest of the way." Flint said with a smile.

Simmons nodded gratefully and rubbed his temples lightly. After another hour, Rarity finished up one last stitch and slowly backed away.

"Are we finished already?" Flint asked.

"Almost, it just needs a finishing touch..." Rarity said, walking around Flint, looking for any discrepancies.

Simmons looked at the silver tuxedo that covered Flints entire torso.

"I think I have an idea." Simmons muttered.

"What is it?" Rarity asked.

"Hang on a second..." Simmons said.

Simmons grabbed a needle and some black thread and walked up to Flint. He used magic to lift the needle and he started to stitch a small symbol on the side of the suit. He backed away and looked it over.

"What did you do?" Rarity asked bluntly.

"I have no idea." Simmons said.

"What? What is it?" Flint asked.

Flint walked up to a mirror and looked at his side in the mirror. The symbol that Simmons had stitched on looked exactly like Flint’s cutie mark.

"Nopony puts a cutie mark on clothing." Rarity said. "It is redundant."

"Sorry, I was just trying to help." Simmons said diminutively.

"I for one like it. I believe that it makes this suit unique," Flint said, looking into the mirror. "Nice thinking Simmons."

"You... like it?" Simmons asked.

"Positively. In fact, I believe that you two may have just started a new fashion trend." Flint said. "Follow me."

Flint walked down the stairs and grabbed the bag he had brought, and reached into it and pulled out a couple pieces of paper. He then held them out to Simmons and Rarity who had followed him down.

"What is this?" Simmons asked.

"They are a pair of tickets." Flint said simply. "The Wonderbolts are having a show in two days and I would appreciate if you came with me as guests."

"That is very generous of you." Rarity said. "Are you sure you want to give these to us?"

"Of course. Consider them a bonus for your excellent work." Flint said, raising his brow at Simmons.

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked.

"For some reason I thought that Simmons over there was still a blank flank. I must have been mistaken." Flint said, leaving the boutique. "Have a fine day and thank you once again for the suit."

Rarity and Simmons then looked at his flank and saw the symbol. It was a tuxedo with a needle and black thread overlapping it.

Finishing Up

"Quit your bitching." Church said while his laughter subsided.

"Hey man, you would be shitting yourself too if you saw what I saw." Tucker said.

"It was a fucking dream." Church said. "Get over it."

"You're pretty helpful, you know that?" Tucker said sarcastically.

"Didn't you need to work there to get some money for something or other?" Church asked.

"Well, yeah." Tucker said.

"So you, rather than actually do shit, ran away because of a nightmare?" Church asked. "I thought you had no fears."

Tucker glared at Church and sighed. "Are you saying I overreacted?"

"No, I'm saying that you're a fucking idiot." Church said.

Spike then exited Twilight’s room, stretching his arms and yawning. He made his way to the top of the stairs and looked at the pair of arguing stallions. "What are you two yelling about?"

"Tucker over here had a bad dream." Church said.

"What was it about?" Spike asked.

"He said it was about Pinkie turning ponies into cupcakes." Church replied. "He had to go to Pinkie’s and help her do stuff but she said something and it sent him running."

"Pinkie turning ponies into cupcakes?" Spike said, scratching his head. "Sounds pretty scary."

"See?" Tucker yelled.

"I'll admit, it sounds fucked up." Church said. "But would you have ran away if presented by some semblance of a nightmare you had the night before?"

"Well, I would feel a bit nervous..." Spike started. "But I don't think I have ran. I may be small, but I'm no coward."

"I'm not a coward either." Tucker mumbled.

"Prove it." Church said. "Go back and help out and try not to pussy out this time."

"Fine." Tucker said.

Tucker slammed the door and started making his back to Sugarcube Corner.

"You would have run too, wouldn't you?" Church asked curiously.

"Yeah." Spike said. "Would you?"

"Probably." Church chuckled. "But Tucker is just too fun to piss off."

Tucker arrived at Sugarcube Corner after a couple minutes of walking. When he got there, he noticed that the door was ajar. He slowly walked in and looked around.

"Yo, anybody here?" Tucker called out.

Tucker got no answer so he sighed. He made his way around the counter and into the kitchen. He looked in the oven, where he saw a couple trays of cupcakes baking. Tucker then heard some muffled noise from his left, causing him to jump away, turning quickly, not sure what to expect. However, the room was empty. The sound appeared to come from a door that had been left slightly ajar.

"Caboose, you down there?" Tucker asked.

"Tucker, help me." Rainbow Dash called out in a strained voice.

Tucker ran down the stairs and looked around. Well, tried to look around, but the room was completely dark.

"Hello Tucker!" Caboose said happily.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing Caboose?" Tucker asked angrily.

"We're making cupcakes." Caboose said. "Would you like one?"

"No I wouldn't like one. Where are you?"

"Hang on a sec." Pinkie said.

The lights then turned on and Tucker slam his eyes shut for a second. He quickly opened them again and saw Pinkie standing on a step ladder with a light bulb in her hoof. He then looked down and saw Rainbow Dash wiping flour off her face.

"What happened?" Tucker asked, confused.

"Well, there was no room anywhere else so we came down here to finish up with the cupcakes." Pinkie said. "But when we came down the lights went pop."

"Oh." Tucker laughed.

"Where did you run to?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I needed to talk to Church for a minute." Tucker said.

"Oh, I thought it had something to do with your bad dream." Rainbow Dash said.

"Pft, no, of course not." Tucker said with a weak laugh. "I may be a lot of things, but a coward I am not."

"Well you seemed pretty shaken up by it." Rainbow Dash said.

The oven upstairs then made a dinging noise.

"The last batch is done!" Pinkie said, running up the stairs.

After a couple seconds Pinkie then ran back down with a tray of freshly baked cupcakes.

"So Tucker, are you finally going to help or are you going to run off again?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yeah I'll help." Tucker said, looking over the cupcakes. "How many did you guys make?

"Twelve dozen." Pinkie said, placing the tray down on the table. "Let's get crackin'!"

Tucker nodded and grabbed some icing and started sloppily lapping it onto the cupcakes.

"That's too much!" Pinkie said.

"Oh, okay." Tucker said, scraping most of the icing off.

"Now that's too little. Haven't you ever made cupcakes before?" Pinkie asked.

"No. I don't see what the big deal is about how much icing we put on." Tucker said.

"Well if you put too much on it's too sweet, and if you don't put on enough it doesn't taste sweet at all!" Pinkie said. "You need just the right amount to make them perfect."

"Of course." Tucker muttered, trying to put on the right amount of icing. "Y'know, this doesn't seem like a lot of work."

"That's because you left before we did the actual cooking." Rainbow Dash said.

"Hey, I told you I'm not a good cook." Tucker said. "Besides, it's not like we're cooking prime ribs here or anything..."

"What's a 'prime rib'?" Pinkie asked.

"You're kidding, right?" Pinkie shook her head. "Well, if it isn't one nightmare after another." Tucker muttered.

After a few more minutes of putting icing on the cupcakes, Pinkie collected them all and started to put them into a large box.

"Alright, so we're done?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah, you're done." Pinkie said. "Oh right, you need the bits for those tickets. Silly me. Stay right here."

Pinkie then ran up the stairs and grabbed a small envelope and gave it to Rainbow Dash.

"Thanks Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said. "Who ordered these anyways? Seems like a lot for one pony."

"I don't know." Pinkie said. Pinkie grabbed a piece of paper and looked at it. "It looks like its going to the Cloudasseum to be sold at a concession stand. What a coinkeydink. Maybe when you guys are there you'll end up having some!"

"I doubt it." Tucker said. "I don't think I'll ever eat a cupcake again."

Infection

Grif woke up to the sound of birds chirping happily. He yawned and sat up on the couch, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Haley looked at him and tilted her head on its side.

"What are you looking at?" Grif asked more gruffly than he meant to.

Haley made a low, whining noise and lowered her head slightly.

"Sorry, you're probably just hungry." Grif said. "How about we go grab a bite to eat?"

Grif was about to head into the kitchen when a sharp pain shot through his leg. He grunted as he fell to the ground. Fluttershy walked into the room to investigate and saw Grif on the ground.

"Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked, running up to Grif.

"Yeah. I just fell over." Fluttershy stared at Grif and looked at his leg, mouth agape. In a moment, she let out a gasp of horror as her shock wore off. "What?" Grif asked.

"Y-your leg..." Fluttershy said quietly.

"What about it?" Grif looked down at his leg, which he noticed was turning green, the veins causing a webbing texture to appear. "What the fuck... What's wrong with it?"

"I-it's gr-green." Fluttershy peeped.

"Yeah, I noticed. But why is it green?" Grif asked.

"I'm not sure." Fluttershy said.

"I thought you fixed it all up." Grif said.

"I thought so too." Fluttershy said.

Grif stared at his wound once again and stepped on his hoof again, just to end up yelping with pain once again.

"Fuck that hurts." Grif muttered, shaking his hoof.

"Stay right here, I need to see something." Fluttershy said.

"I couldn't go anywhere if I wanted to." Grif chuckled, slowly placing his hoof on the ground.

Fluttershy went to check on a small medical book that she kept in her drawer. She opened up the book and flipped to the index and skimmed through it, trying to find any hints as to what could be wrong, or how to help it heal. After a few brief minutes of hastily looking for solutions, she gave up the search. She looked around worriedly and put the book back in it's place and went back to Grif.

"We need to go see Twilight." Fluttershy said.

"Why?" Grif asked. "It's just a small infection."

"You don't know if it is just small." Fluttershy said. "It could be serious."

"I'm sure it will be fine." Grif laughed, walking back to the couch.

Fluttershy stomped in front of him locked his eyes to hers and gave him the stare. Grif retracted slowly and sighed.

"Fine. Let's go." Grif muttered, then smiled. "Nice job being assertive by the way."

Fluttershy smiled and nodded gratefully. She walked next to him and placed his injured leg over her neck to prevent him from standing on his infected hoof. They then made their way to the library to seek Twilight’s aid.

Twilight had just woken up and made her way downstairs to where Church and Spike were rolling around, laughing hysterically.

"What's so funny?" Twilight asked.

"Just Tucker being an idiot." Church said.

"Oh? What did he do?" Twilight asked.

"He had a nightmare." Spike said.

"A nightmare?" Twilight asked. "What was it about?"

"It was about Caboose and Pinkie killing ponies and turning them into cupcakes." Church said.

Twilight stared at Church silently.

"That sounds horrifying." Twilight said.

"Yeah, you should have seen the look on his face when we made fun of him for it." Spike chuckled.

"You guys are terrible." Twilight said.

"Why are we terrible?" Church asked.

"Tucker had a horrifying experience, and you chastised him for it?" Twilight said.

"When you put it that way, I guess it sounds pretty bad." Spike said.

"That's because it is Spike. I thought you knew better than that." Twilight said.

"Sorry Twi, I didn't mean to make you mad at me." Spike said sadly.

"I'm not angry. I'm disappointed." Twilight said. Just then, there was a knock at the door. "If that is Tucker I want you two to apologize to him."

"Fine." Church and Spike said together.

Twilight opened the door to see a worried Fluttershy holding up a weak looking Grif.

"Fluttershy, what's wrong with Grif?" Twilight asked.

"I don't know." Fluttershy said. "I came here because I thought you would be able to help."

Twilight looked at Grif’s leg, which was covered in a strange substance.

"Church, Spike, you two look for my book of ailments and infections." Twilight said. "I'll look his wound over and see what I can find."

Church and Spike set off immediately and started looking for the book. Twilight made room on her table and she motioned Fluttershy to bring him over. Grif slowly climbed onto the table and laid down on it. Twilight gazed curiously at the wound. Upon closer inspection she noticed that this was by no means a regular infection. The green was not that of trapped bacteria, but that of moss.

"Found it." Spike said, grabbing a book off of the shelf.

"Hurry up and give it to me." Twilight said.

Spike hastily handed the book over to Twilight and she started to flip through it. It only took her a few seconds to find the right page, and when she found it she gasped inaudibly.

"What does it say?" Fluttershy said. "Is it bad?"

"It says that timberwolves have a secretion on their teeth. When a timberwolf bites you, the secretion gets into your bloodstream and continuously infects the pony. The infection is a slow and painful process that takes weeks to complete."

Fluttershy looked at Grif’s leg with a troubled expression.

"What else does it say?" Grif asked.

"It says that once the infection makes its way through the bloodstream it starts to take its effect." Twilight said. "It says that once the infection settles, it starts to turn the infected pony into a plant-like form. The pony then becomes tired and suffers through excruciating pain in the infected area as it gets covered in moss or bark. Over the course of a couple weeks, the pony soon loses mobility and the ability to eat, and then the infected pony dies."

Fluttershy started to shake slowly and looked at the book Twilight was holding.

"Fuck." Grif muttered. "I don't like the idea of dying."

"What's the cure?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"It says that no cure has ever been found." Twilight said sadly.

Fluttershy looked at Grif with a great feeling of regret and she hugged him tightly.

"I'm so sorry Grif. This is all my fault." Fluttershy said, tears welling up in her eyes. "If I hadn't left you alone with the bunnies none of this would have happened." Fluttershy looked at the floor sadly. Grif stared at her finding himself saddened by the sight.

"Hey, don't feel bad Fluttershy." Grif said, putting his hoof on her to comfort her. "It is mostly my fault anyways."

"Why is that?" Twilight asked.

"I did say I wanted to be a tree." Grif said weakly with a humorless chuckle. "Seems like I'm getting that wish granted."

Small Bets

"This isn't a joke Grif." Church said.

"I thought it was pretty funny." Grif muttered. "Just trying to make light of the situation."

"How can you not be worried?" Twilight asked.

Grif shrugged and sat up on the table. He then jumped off and pain shot through his hoof again.

"Okay maybe I'm a bit worried." Grif said, grinding his teeth together in pain. "But Church, you know that I have lived through a lot worse."

"I know you can take a beating. I remember that time with Tex when she-"

"Yeah." Grif said, placing his hooves instinctively over his crotch at the mention of Tex. "I remember, and I am in no hurry to revisit that."

Church couldn't help but let out a wry smile.

"Anyways, you can take a beating, but each of those times nobody actually tried to kill you." Church said. "They just tried to harm you."

Grif looked over at Church and raised his brow.

"Okay, so maybe Sarge has tried to kill you a couple times." Church said. "But I don't think he really wants you dead."

"What would make you think that?" Grif asked.

"Remember that time that Tucker almost killed you with Sheila?" Church asked.

"Tucker tried to kill Grif?" Twilight asked, appalled at the thought.

"Sarge took Simmons organs and put them into you." Church said, ignoring Twilight’s question. "And when you went into the forest Sarge didn’t accept the idea that you could be dead."

"Really?" Grif asked.

"Yeah, well. He kind of said that he would be the one to kill you. But the thought is still there."

"How inspiring." Grif muttered sarcastically, but did not hide his smile.

"But now it isn't just a beating you're in for." Church said, getting back on topic. "You've been told that odds are that you will die."

"Now I'm less worried." Grif said.

"How?" Fluttershy asked.

"Because I know that Sarge will get me before this shit does." Grif said, motioning to his infected hoof. "And Twilight said there was no cure. I've never been the one to volunteer for fighting, and I'm not going to fight something that is out of my hands- er, hooves."

Twilight stared at Grif, and looked back at the book. "The book said no cure has been found, that doesn't mean there isn’t one." Twilight said.

The others looked at her with questioning gazes. "What are you saying?" Grif asked.

"I'm saying that we shouldn't give up hope just yet." Twilight said. "I say we look for something to help you."

"But giving up hope is the only thing I'm good at." Grif said.

"What about that zebra, Zecora?" Church suggested. "She lives in that forest, so wouldn't she know more about the kind of stuff that goes on in it?"

"That would probably be the best place to start." Twilight agreed, nodding her head. "Fluttershy, you stay here with Grif, we'll go get the others to help us."

"Okay." Fluttershy said.

"Come on Spike, you're coming too." Twilight said.

"What? Why me?" Spike asked.

"Because you're going to apologize to Tucker."

Spike groaned, but did not hesitate to jump on to Twilight’s back.

"We'll be back soon." Twilight said, opening the door and walking out.

Fluttershy nodded slowly and sat down next to Grif. Church gave a half-hearted wave to the pair and made his way out the door, shutting it behind him. Fluttershy kept staring at the infection, blaming herself for what is happening.

"You really need to stop blaming yourself." Grif said.

"I can't help it." Fluttershy said weakly, hugging Grif once again. "You are going to die and it's all my fault."

"How about a bet?" Grif asked.

"What kind of bet?" Fluttershy asked, wiping a tear from her eye.

"When I make it through this." Grif said. "Not if. When I make it through this, you spend a day in my shoes."

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"Take a day off. Sleep, rest, whatever. Just stop worrying about every little detail." Grif then raised his good hoof and smiled weakly. "Deal?"

"Deal." Fluttershy said, shaking his hoof, matching Grif’s weak smile.

Twilight’s first stop was Sugarcube Corner, catching Rainbow Dash and Tucker as they were leaving. They quickly ran the situation by them as they grabbed Pinkie and Caboose. The group then made their way to the Carousel Boutique, where they found Rarity beginning her work on Simmons’ suit. Although they didn't fully explain what was going on, they knew that it seemed serious. The group then made their final stop at Sweet Apple Acres, where Sarge was cavorting about with the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"What's going on?" Sarge asked as the group walked up.

"Grif is in trouble." Church said.

"Anything out of the ordinary?" Sarge asked.

"It turns out that the timberwolf attack had more of an affect on Grif than we thought." Twilight said.

"What do you mean?" Sarge asked.

"He has been infected by the timberwolves, and if we don't find out what's wrong he could..." Church said, trailing off. "Who are the little ones?"

"Oh, right." Sarge grunted. "Listen, why don't you girls come and see me later. This might be a little bit out of your league."

"Nothing is out of our league." Scootaloo said happily.

"Trust me. This is." Sarge said.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders hesitantly nodded and made their way away from the group. Sarge nodded at Church to continue.

"Anyways, the infection is painfully making its way through Grif’s body. If we don't do anything soon, Grif will be... seriously injured."

"Hrm. If I exert zero energy, I get exactly what I've always wanted..." Sarge said with a laugh. "Yeah blue, that's a hell of a compelling argument on your part, bravo."

"We're serious." Twilight said. "Grif could die, don't you care?"

"Yeah, yeah." Sarge grunted. "Wait here, I'll go get Applejack..."

"Don't mind him." Simmons said, "Sarge just doesn't want anybody to know that he will be the one to take Grif out before anyone else."

Back to the Forest

Everypony soon arrived back at Twilight’s place, where Grif was starting to doze off on the table.

"Hey, what took you guys so long?" Grif asked.

"Well I heard you were in pain, so naturally I hesitated as long as I could before coming here." Sarge said.

"Gee, thanks Sarge." Grif said, swinging his back hooves off the edge of the table.

Sarge looked at Grif’s infected leg seriously, slowly examining it. Before Grif asked what he was doing, Sarge promptly punched the infected area which caused Grif to fall back in pain.

"What the fuck was that for?" Grif yelled.

"I was just making sure you weren't faking it." Sarge said.

"Well at least now you know." Grif muttered.

"I don't know, that didn't seem genuine to me." Sarge said.

"Don't hit him." Fluttershy said quietly, placing herself between Sarge and Grif. Sarge just kept staring at Fluttershy, seemingly looking right through her. He then grunted and started towards the door.

"Let's just get this show on the road." Sarge said.

Church walked up to Grif and helped Fluttershy hoist Grif up. Grif nodded gratefully and started to make his way forward.

"I think I can do this by myself." Fluttershy said.

"You sure?" Church asked. Fluttershy nodded so Church let Grif’s other leg down.

"Hurry it up ladies." Sarge called from outside. "I want to make it there before Grif dies."

"You are a true leader of the people Sarge." Simmons said.

"Hey Simmons..." Grif said.

"What Grif?"

"When did you get your mark?" Grif asked.

Simmons walked behind Rarity, breaking Grif’s view of him as he responded, "Oh, I got it at Rarity’s Boutique."

"For what, sewing?" Grif asked, chuckling lightheartedly.

"Of course not." Simmons said, laughing weakly. "That would be totally womanly."

Sarge, confounded by the delays, walked back into the room and saw Simmons as he retreated around Rarity.

"Hey Simmons, did you get your mark for sewing?" Sarge said.

"Fuck." Simmons grunted, then looked to Sarge. "Yeah, I guess I did." Grif doubled over with laughter. He would have fallen had it not been for Fluttershy holding him up. "Fuck you Grif. It's no better than yours. How about you Sarge? You going to yell at me for feminizing the team?"

"Not at all." Sarge said. "I think it suits you just fine."

"Oh, ha ha Sarge." Simmons said sarcastically.

"I mean it." Sarge said. "You always had an eye for details. Almost half of the plans I came up with you would point out their flaws."

"Bullshit, if you told Simmons to jump, he would jump, then get on his knees and promise to jump higher next time." Grif said.

"Screw you Grif." Simmons muttered sourly.

"Well, he may not have spoken out, but I'm sure he saw the flaws in my plans, as few as there were." Sarge said.

"That's because your plans didn't have flaws, they were flaws thus eliminating the possibility of finding multiple flaws in each plan." Simmons said. "And it wasn't half the plans, it was basically all of them."

"See? Even now you still recall the flaws." Sarge said. "I would be surprised if that wasn't your special talent."

"Oh, well thanks Sarge." Simmons said happily. "Let's go, we don't want Grif to die now, do we?"

Simmons promptly turned and walked out the door with Rarity. Grif, with the aid of Fluttershy, walked over to Sarge. Grif leaned over to Sarge, "We're still going to rip on him later for being a woman, right?"

"Son, we're the red team." Sarge said. "Did you really even need to ask that?"

"Glad to hear it." Grif said.

The group soon found themselves at the edge of the Everfree Forest. For a few minutes they just stood there, staring into it trying to discern any dangers that might be lurking as soon as they entered.

"So, uh, should we get going?" Grif asked. "Not that I'm against standing around doing nothing."

"Hold on." Applejack said, scouring a bag she had strapped to her side.

"What are you doing?" Twilight asked.

"Jus' checkin' t' make sure I have my supplies in order." After a few brief moments Applejack stopped. "Alright let's go."

Applejack then started to make her way into the forest. The others quickly followed her lead, trying to hold a steady pace. From behind a bush, a small filly’s head poked out.

"Why are they going in there?" Scootaloo asked.

"Ah don't know." Applebloom said. "It was hard t' hear 'em from so far away."

"I think it had something to do with that Grif guy." Sweetie Belle said.

"What makes you say that?" Scootaloo asked.

"Well, at the farm the blue stallion mentioned Grif’s name." Sweetie Belle said. "And Fluttershy seemed to be carrying him."

After a couple seconds of silence, one of the crusaders spoke again. "So should we follow them?" Scootaloo asked.

"I don't know Scoots." Applebloom said. "I told mah sis I would never go back in there 'less I was bein' accompanied by an adult."

"What do you think Sweetie Belle?" Scootaloo asked. "Are you too scared to go in?"

"I din't say I was scared." Applebloom protested. "I said that we'd be safer with an adult."

"Being an adult is the whole point Applebloom." Scootaloo said. "Sarge said he would help us. What if he needs our help and we don't go and lose a chance on getting our cutie marks."

"That's true. He did say he would help us." Sweetie Belle said, thinking for a brief moment. "I think we should follow them."

"So are you in Applebloom, or are you a chicken?" Scootaloo asked.

"Am not! You're the chicken!" Applebloom said.

"Prove it." Scootaloo said. "Let's go in and trail them."

Applebloom looked into the forest and felt like she was being watched by something from within.

"Fine." Applebloom said, putting on a thin veil of courage. "Let's just hurry up an' try t' keep outta harm’s way." The Cutie Mark Crusaders then hastily followed the group's tracks, deep into the Everfree Forest.

Potions 101

"They're watching us." Grif muttered quietly, slowly following the others with Fluttershy.

"What do you mean?" Twilight asked.

"The wood wolves." Grif said. "They're looking at me." Grif’s head was on a swivel, instantly following every sound. In the nearby underbrush, he could make out faint movements of timberwolves. Stalking, watching, waiting, Grif didn't know what they were doing. All he knew is that they were there. The others looked over to where he was looking but could not see anything out of place.

"Is being paranoid one of the symptoms?" Sarge asked sarcasticaly.

"I don't think so." Twilight said. "The book never mentioned-"

The group then heard a branch snap from the bushes and everypony looked over worriedly at it.

"Now who is the paranoid one?" Grif asked, chuckling to himself.

"We should pick up the pace." Sarge said, starting to move a bit faster. "I don't want to get what Grif has."

"Well I can't exactly run on this leg you know." Grif said.

"You want to be dog food?" Sarge asked.

Grif muttered incomprehensibly and tried to move a bit faster. A couple of steps later, Grif tripped over a tree branch and grunted. "For the love of-" he said as he froze in place. As everyone else followed his gaze, they saw the timberwolves closing in, slowly creeping up on them from behind. Sarge walked next to Grif and picked him up.

"What should we do?" Tucker asked quietly.

"The same thing blues do best." Sarge muttered, then turned and started to sprint, carrying Grif on his back. "Run!"

The others didn't hesitate to turn tail at Sarge’s order. The others did not look back... except for Grif. He watched curiously as rather than chase them, the timberwolves splintered off back in to the woods. But he wasn't about to let Sarge drop him on his ass, so he smiled smugly and decided to let Sarge carry him down the trail. As they arrived at Zecora’s house they all stopped and looked back, expecting the timberwolves to be right on their fetlocks.

"Where did they go?" Simmons asked.

"I don't know." Church said. "But I don't exactly want to stick around and wait for them."

"Church is right, let's hurry up inside, we may have just temporarily lost them." Twilight said, walking up to the door.

As Twilight lifted her hoof to the door it suddenly swung open, causing Twilight to lose balance and fall forward. Church quickly caught her before she fell.

"Be a little more careful, hm?" Church said.

"Thanks." Twilight said quietly.

"Well if it isn't my acquaintances and friends from in town..." Zecora said happily, then noticed Fluttershy looking at Grif worriedly. "What could be so wrong my dear that it would make you frown?"

"Zecora, the bites that Grif got from the timberwolves were more severe than we thought." Twilight said.

Zecora looked at Grif and saw his infected leg and nodded quickly.

"Bring him so I may examine why his leg is so green." Zecora said. "there must have been something I must not have seen."

Sarge brought Grif in and put him on the rug. Zecora went to one of her books, opened it up and skimmed the pages quickly. She settled on one page, gave it a once-over and placed it on the table. She then grabbed another book and started to cross-reference them. She closed her eyes as she collected her thoughts. She suddenly closed the books and ran up to her brewing cauldron and lit a fire underneath. She started to take out samples of plants and herbs, examining each one closely. She selected a few and threw them in a mortar and pestle and started to grind them in to a fine powder.

"And good news doc?" Grif said.

"That depends on one thing." Zecora said.

"Oh? And what would that be?"

"I am missing some ingredients that I need the others to bring." Zecora said.

"I'm not exactly one for picking flowers." Sarge said.

"For the potion I have all the flowers I require." Zecora said. "What I need may be a bit more dangerous to acquire."

"How dangerous are we talking?" Church asked.

"There are three main ingredients that I still need." Zecora said. "But to find them, you must have courage and speed."

"We have that." Tucker said smugly.

"What are the ingredients?" Simmons asked.

"The first ingredient which I need is located on a great oak, for when it is burned it provides a soothing smoke."

"Great oaks are the oldest kind of trees in Equestria." Twilight explained. "They are located in areas that are uninhabitable for ponies, but are often homes to many other creatures.

"Tree bark. Got it." Sarge said. "What else?"

"The second ingredient is a cockatrice scale, the most potent of ones are those on it's tail."

"Hey Grif, there's your good news." Sarge said. "It looks like you aren't the only one who makes creatures up."

"Cockatrices are real." Twilight said. "They are monsters that look like a mix of a chicken and a snake."

"They don't sound dangerous." Simmons said.

"They may not sound like it, but when they gaze in to your eyes they have the ability to turn you in to stone." Twilight said.

"Okay, we got tree bark and a cockathingy scale." Sarge said. "What's the third ingredient?"

"The third and most vital ingredient is the most dangerous of all." Zecora said. "This one you have a great chance of being mauled."

"Yeah, yeah we got the dangerous part already." Sarge grunted impatiently. "What is the damn thing?"

"It is that of which Grif received when he was bit." Zecora said "You need to retrieve a sample of timberwolf spit."

"Okay." Sarge grunted. "So we need some tree bark, a scale and some spit?"

"That's not exactly sugar, spice, and everything nice." Church said.

"Why am I not surprised that Grif just doomed us to certain death?" Simmons asked.

"You know me Simmons." Grif said with a weak smile. "I always like to mix things up a little. Don't want you to go softer than you already are, now do we?"

Road Call

"Okay, we should split up." Twilight said. "It will make this easier if we all split up to look for it.”

"Makes sense." Church said.

"Who will do what though?" Tucker said. "I don't think I want to fight those fucking wolves."

"I'll deal with the wolves." Sarge grunted.

"I think we should look for the bark." Church said to Twilight.

"Why do you get to do that?" Tucker said. "I want to do the easy shit."

"Because Twilight will be able to recognize what it looks like." Church said. "Caboose, Pinkie, you're coming too."

"Yay!" Caboose said happily. "I like trees!"

"So that leaves Rarity, Simmons, Rainbow Dash and Tucker to get the cockatrice scale." Twilight said.

"There is only one kind of way I would ever think of getting stoned, and being turned into stone is not that way." Tucker said.

"What's the matter blue? Are you scared?" Sarge said, cooing softly.

Tucker glared at Sarge, but Sarge just laughed at him.

"You have nothing to complain about, I'm the one taking the bigger risk." Sarge said.

"Whatever." Tucker said.

"Stop complaining." Rainbow Dash said. "Let's make this quick, I don't want to be so tired I fall asleep during the Wonderbolts show."

"Where are we going to find this lizard-hen thing anyways?" Tucker asked. "I'll show you all that I can kick their scaled asses."

"Not too far south from here is a cockatrice cave." Zecora said. "But when you see them, you may not be so brave."

"As much as I like taking attendance, which is to say not very much, I would like it if you guys would go soon." Grif said. "I can feel this shit spreading, and it does not feel great."

"Spike, you stay with Fluttershy and Zecora." Twilight said.

"But Twilight-" Spike started to protest.

"No buts." Twilight said. "You still haven't even done what you came here to do yet."

"Oh, right." Spike said, turning to Tucker. "Hey Tucker. I'm really sorry for what I said."

"Don't worry about it." Tucker grunted, walking out the door.

"Is that good enough?" Spike asked.

Boys will be boys. Twilight thought to herself as she rolled her eyes at Spike.

"Come on, I know where the great oaks are and if we hurry now we should be able to make it there in a matter of minutes." Twilight said.

"Alright." Church said, turning himself to face Caboose and Pinkie. "Come on you two."

"Okay Mr. Church!" Pinkie said, hopping out the door.

Everypony was making their way out the door. Except Sarge, who stood in front of Applejack, blocking her from going out.

"What’re ya doin Sarge? Move outta the way." Applejack said.

"Can't let you go." Sarge said.

"What are ya talkin' about? You can't do this alone." Applejack said.

"You have family to look after." Sarge grunted. "It would be best if you stayed here."

"You need my help." Applejack protested.

Sarge stared at her for a few seconds then begrudgingly stepped back and grunted.

"Okay, just stay behind me." Sarge said. "I don't want to be the one to tell the little one what happened to her sister."

"If anyone gets hurt, it'll be you." Applejack snorted, making her way past Sarge.

"Hey, uh, Sarge?" Grif said.

"What?" Sarge asked.

"Thanks." Grif said.

"Don't think I'm doing this for you." Sarge said with a smile, walking out the door.

Soon all the ponies were standing outside of the hut, staring around the forest, trying to find any immediate dangers.

"Alright." Church said. "Which way is what?"

"Well to the south of here is the cave that Rainbow Dash and the others need to get to." Twilight said. "The trees where we are going are located north-east of here, and that should take us just a couple of minutes."

"And where should we look for the wolves?" Sarge asked.

"I don't know." Twilight said. "Timberwolves are always on the move, and only stop to rest briefly in the morning to sleep."

"I think you should start with the trail that we came in on." Church said. "It would probably be easier to look for signs of them there."

"Good thinking Church." Twilight said.

"Let's see which group can get their ingredients first." Rainbow Dash said, zooming in to the air.

"Rainbow Dash, this is not a game." Rarity said.

"Spoilsport." Rainbow Dash pouted, landing back on to the ground.

"Let's go, we're wasting time standing around." Sarge said, starting down the path.

"Okay. Be careful everypony." Twilight said.

Back inside Zecora’s hut, Fluttershy was looking out the window watching the others leave. Grif looked at Fluttershy and grunted.

"Do you think they'll be okay?" Fluttershy asked.

"I've known these guys for years, and if I had to place money on it... I'd say that I'm as good as dead. Good thing I’m not placing money on it." Grif said with a chuckle

"That's very pessimistic." Spike said.

"I'm just being a realist." Grif said, lying back down on the rug. "Might as well get comfortable, it'll take them a while to get back."

"Good thinking." Spike said, taking a seat on the ground.

Fluttershy went up to Grif and sat down beside him. "Hey." Grif muttered.

Fluttershy said nothing but continued to stare at Grif’s leg. Grif sighed deeply and put his hoof on her to comfort her. "Listen, I'm sure they will be perfectly fine with gathering the ingredients." Grif said. "You just have to stop blaming yourself and worrying about me. Everything will be fine."

"Okay." Fluttershy said quietly.

Zecora made her way back to the brewing stand and started crushing more ingredients, tossing them into the mixture when it was necessary. Fluttershy slowly walked up to Zecora and watched her stir it.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Fluttershy asked.

Zecora glanced at Fluttershy and nodded quickly.

"Yes you can. Keep mixing this, do not slow down." Zecora said. "You will know to stop when the mixture turns brown."

"Okay." Fluttershy said.

Fluttershy grabbed the wooden stick, mixing at the same pace as Zecora was. Zecora walked up to the potion book and opened it once again, flipping through the pages to make sure she had not missed anything.

Hard Wood

Twilight and Church were walking in silence, focusing on the surrounding area. Pinkie was humming a tune that Caboose was rather enjoying, so he joined in. However, Caboose was humming the song completely off-tune and Pinkie thought he had been humming his own song, so she started to hum what he was humming.

"What song is this?" Pinkie asked after a couple minutes.

"I thought you knew!" Caboose exclaimed.

Pinkie and Caboose then started to giggle. Church glared over at the pair who were making a racket. "Be quiet. We don't want to bring any attention to ourselves." Church snapped.

"Okay Church." Caboose said sadly. "Are we there yet?"

"No Caboose." Twilight said. "It should only be another minute or two at the most."

"Oh, okay." Caboose said.

"Are we there yet now?" Pinkie asked immediately after.

For fuck's sake Church thought to himself, not sure if Pinkie had asked to spite them, or simply because she was Pinkie Pie.

"No Pinkie, we aren't there yet." Twilight said.

The group then fell in to silence for another minute.

"How about now?" Caboose asked.

"Caboose, please just shut the fuck up." Church said. Caboose did not reply to Church’s outburst. He just nodded and put his head down, slowly following the others. It took them less than two minutes after that to get to their destination, where they found many oversized trees, trunks all a very dark brown.

"So these are them I assume?" Church asked.

"Yes." Twilight replied simply.

"This place is covered in mud!" Caboose said.

"You are a certified genius Caboose." Church said sarcastically.

"Thanks Church." Caboose said happily.

"Let's try and find the darkest tree and get a sample of that." Twilight said.

"Why not just use any tree?" Church asked.

"Unlike most trees, these trees get darker with age." Twilight explained. "And the trees properties grow stronger and wield much more potency with age." Church gave a quick nod to show that he understood, and started to look for the darkest tree he could find. It took him less than a minute to find a tree that almost seemed to be black. Twilight walked up to the tree and her horn started to glow. She looked back at Church and nodded.

"I can feel the power in this one." Twilight said.

"Alright, how are we going to get a piece of it." Church asked.

"Well, these trees are immune to magic so that is out of the question." Twilight said.

"How nice." Church said. "Maybe we should have come up with a plan before coming in here."

"I have an idea." Pinkie said happily.

"Really? I would love to hear it." Church said.

Pinkie nodded and poked Caboose in the side.

"Caboose, did you know that these trees taste like double chocolate cupcakes?" Pinkie asked.

"Really?!" Caboose yelled.

Caboose ran up to the near black tree and chomped it, shattering a large section of it. He chewed it for a couple seconds before spitting it out and scrubbing his tongue.

"That doesn't taste like chocolate at all." Caboose said.

Pinkie smiled and reached into her hair and pulled out a wrapped chocolate bar and threw it at Caboose.

"Thank you!" Caboose said happily, throwing the bar in his mouth, wrapper and all.

"Nice going Pinkie." Church said, giving a curt nod of approval.

"Thanks." Pinkie said.

Twilight walked up to the two largest pieces of wood she could find and put them in a small bag she had.

"This should be good enough. I won't be able to use magic as I carry them though." Twilight said. "Now we just need to get back to Zecora’s place and-" Before Twilight could finish, a deafening roar filled area. Everypony looked around nervously, trying to locate the source of the noise.

"What the fuck was that?" Church asked.

"I don't know, but that screech sounded familiar." Twilight said.

As Twilight said that the sound of a tree snapping down and slamming into the mud came from their left. Then another.

"What should we do?" Twilight asked.

"I was going to suggest we run." Church said.

A semi-rotted tree then shot in to the air from thirty meters away and was headed straight for them. Church’s horn started to glow as he deflected the tree to the side. When the tree slammed in to the ground, a large creature suddenly came into view through the trees, charging straight for them.

"Hydra!" Twilight yelled, running back towards Zecora’s.

"There are five of them!" Caboose yelled, sprinting with Pinkie next to Twilight.

"No, Hydras are creatures that have multiple heads." Twilight said. "When one gets severed it grows two more in its place."

"Shut up and keep running." Church yelled. "We don't need to waste our breath." As Church said that, one of the hydra's heads lunged forward and grabbed for Church. Church saw it coming and rolled out of the way. Church grunted as his head hit the ground, but he got up and soon caught up with the others, but they were all stopped.

"Why did you stop running?" Church yelled.

"There is nowhere to run to." Twilight said simply. "We're trapped."

The trees that surrounded them were so close together that it would be impossible to go in between them. The hydra then burst through the trees and stood still, blocking the only path out.

"I don't want to die." Church said. "Wait a minute. I can't die, why am I scared?"

"Because you can feel pain?" Twilight said quietly.

"Shit. I forgot about that." Church muttered.

The hydra then screeched and it's heads lunged towards all of them. A dark green ball appeared between the group of ponies and the hydra. The ball then exploded outward, surging towards the hydra, enveloping it in a green embrace.

"I thought you said you couldn't use magic." Church yelled.

"I thought that was you." Twilight said, confused and intrigued by what was happening.

The hydra stumbled around, trying to break free of the magic. Suddenly the spell changed colors to blue and the hydra stopped moving, a cold mist coming off of it's body.

"I-it froze?" Twilight asked. "Why is it frozen?"

"I don't know, but I say we take advantage of this and run." Church said. "I don't want to be here when the spell wears off."

"Good idea." Twilight said as the group ran past the frozen hydra and headed back to Zecora’s place.

Raising the Scale

"Where the hell is this cave?" Simmons asked.

"Just keep following the path." Tucker said.

"I can barely fucking see it." Simmons muttered.

"Stop whining you baby. It's not helping us get there any faster." Rainbow Dash said.

"I'm not whining. I'm complaining." Simmons said. "They are two completely different things."

"Well said Simmons,” Rarity said before turning to Rainbow Dash, “if you are going to yell at him, at least get your facts straight."

"Thank you Rarity." Simmons said as recognition flickered across his face. "Wait a second... hey!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean it that way." Rarity said sincerely.

"Let's just go, I want to get this over with." Tucker said.

After a few more minutes of walking, they came to a large opening in the side of a mountain. There was a wooden sign with an X carved on it, and standing next to it was a statue of a bear cub.

"I can't say much for the decor." Rarity said.

"I don't think that's decor." Simmons said quietly.

"What do you..." Rarity started.

Suddenly Rarity’s eyes went wide when she remembered what cockatrices do, and she looked over at the trapped cub and frowned. "Poor thing. We should find a way to help him."

"I don't think there is much we can do." Simmons said quietly. "Let's just grab the scale and hurry back."

Rarity nodded slowly but continued looking at the trapped creature. The group quietly made their way in to the cave, slowly walking into blindness.

"Stand still for a second." Rarity whispered.

"What is it?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Shh." Rarity said as she focused. Rarity’s horn then burst into dazzling light and everypony shut their eyes.

"What are you doing?" Tucker hissed. "Trying to blind us?"

"Quite the opposite." Rarity said.

Everypony then opened their eyes to see that the cave was as bright as day. "Good thinking." Simmons said.

"I try." Rarity said modestly.

The group then continued further into the cave, trying to find any hints of a cockatrice. Tucker was walking ahead of them when he suddenly backed up against the wall, motioning his hoof to follow his lead.

"What's wrong?" Rainbow Dash asked quietly. "Is one in there?"

"No." Tucker replied. "More like fifty."

"What are we going to do?" Simmons whispered.

"I don't know." Tucker said. "Should we just run in and snatch one?"

"That does not sound like the best of plans." Rarity said.

Tucker muttered something under his breath and peaked around the corner.

"I think they're sleeping." Tucker said.

"Well at least there is some good news." Simmons said.

"I say we do Tucker’s plan." Rainbow Dash said. "Slowly go in, snag one, and then run."

"I'll do it." Tucker said quickly.

"Be careful."

"Careful is my middle name." Tucker said jokingly as he started walking towards the group of cockatrices and spotted one that was not sleeping near the others. Its body slithered slightly and Tucker froze. After a couple of seconds he continued towards the sleeping creature. "Where the fuck is its tail?" Tucker muttered quietly to himself.

Tucker slowly walked over it, looking for its tail. After a brief time he found it, but he realized that it was tucked under its body. Tucker groaned, decided that it wasn’t worth it, and started towards one of the ones that was closer to the others. Rainbow Dash decided to go and help Tucker when she saw that he was headed towards the larger group. As she started into the room, she stumbled, ending up right in front of the lone cockatrice. She had too much momentum, and not enough time to take off, as she bumped right into the sleeping chicken-snake. The cockatrice screeched after being awoken so abruptly by this intrusion. It then slithered up, balancing on its tail, continuing the screeching noise.

"Fuck." Tucker exclaimed.

The cockatrices that had been all clumped together all awoke at this, adding their own screeches to the mix, filling the cave with deafening volume, disorienting Rainbow Dash and Tucker. Fortunately, the group of cockatrices were more interested in their sleep, simply slithering deeper into the cave instead of worrying about the intruders. The lone one remained however, eyes scanning for what had woken it. Spotting the still-stunned Rainbow Dash, it quickly slithered over and constricted her with its snake-like body.

"Help!" Rainbow Dash managed, the sound hoarse from the lack of air in her lungs.

Simmons horn started to glow as he quickly took action to try and help Rainbow Dash, but he wandered too close to the cockatrice and its prey. He was rewarded with a powerful swat of the cockatrice’s tail, sending him flying into a wall and drooping down as he lost consciousness.

"Rarity. Do something." Rainbow Dash wheezed.

"I can't. If I stop to use a different spell we will be blinded." Rarity yelled.

The cockatrice then tightened its grip, giving its head enough room lock its gaze with Rainbow Dash’s terrified eyes. Rainbow Dash yelped as she felt her hooves turning into stone. Tucker took action immediately, taking off like a shot. He collided heavily with the cockatrice, causing it to release Rainbow Dash as it flew into the wall of the cave.

"Come after me you fucking asshole." Tucker yelled.

The cockatrice quickly responded to its new attacker, tackling Tucker to the ground and wrapping its tail around his neck. The cockatrice then gazed in to Tucker's eyes and Tucker’s legs began the stony transformation that he had just witnessed occurring to Rainbow Dash. Tucker started to yell in pain, but his voice was crackling. The crackle was not of that of pain or of bones breaking, but that of electricity. The cockatrice’s attention broke from Tucker’s eyes and down to his front hooves, where sparks was appearing.

"What are you doing?" Rainbow Dash yelled.

Tucker looked back at Rainbow Dash and Rarity who were standing there with horrified expressions.

"Run." Tucker said quietly.

"We're not leaving without you." Rainbow Dash yelled.

Tucker shook his head and the electricity surged to his wings and he shot across the cavern, dragging the cockatrice with him.

"Tucker!" Rainbow Dash yelled, flying after him.

Tucker and the cockatrice slammed into the wall which stunned the cockatrice, forcing it to release Tucker. Tucker flew in to the air, collecting his own surroundings and observing the stunned cockatrice. Once the cockatrice regained its senses, it screeched at Tucker and barrelled towards him. Tucker concentrated on the electrical sensation that was coursing through him and forced the current back to his hooves. Suddenly the electricity surged outwards on either side of his hoof, forming a two-pronged blade of crackling energy.

"Now this is interesting." Tucker grunted.

Rainbow Dash charged in, still worried about Tucker and the energy that was was crackling from his body. Her jaw dropped as she saw the energy blade emerge from Tucker’s hoof. Tucker had no time to admire his new weapon however. He flew to the side, dodging the charging cockatrice. As it passed him he sliced downwards, severing the cockatrice’s tail.

"Swish!" Tucker yelled.

The cockatrices that had retreated heard their injured friend and started flooding back into the chamber where they were sitting. Tucker grabbed the severed tail and looked at Rainbow Dash.

"Run!" Tucker yelled.

Rainbow Dash nodded and they took off back towards the entrance of the cave. As Rarity saw them coming and took off as well. Tucker grabbed Simmons on his way by and shot out of the cave, lightning crackling out from his back hooves and wings. They saw the rear end of a bear cub quickly retreating into the underbrush of the forest. “I’m glad that we could save the poor thing.” Rarity said at the sight.

The group quickly made their way back to Zecora’s place. Rarity opened the door, allowing the exhausted forms of Rainbow Dash and Tucker to go in first. Tucker put Simmons on the ground and promptly collapsed onto the ground himself, his legs giving out as the adrenaline flowed out of his system.

"That... was awesome." Rainbow Dash panted.

"Yeah, it was... wasn't it?" Tucker said, smiling weakly. "Now I just have to find out how the fuck I did it."

"Do you have the scales?" Grif asked.

Tucker looked over at Grif and tossed the severed tail at him. Grif caught it and looked at it, then back to Tucker.

"Nice going." Grif said. "But couldn't you have made it back here faster?"

A Spittle Help

The Cutie Mark Crusaders slowly and cautiously walked down the rough trail, eyes darting every which-way whenever they heard a noise. "This was a bad idea." Sweetie Belle said quietly.

"Well it's too late to turn back now." Scootaloo said.

"What was that?" Applebloom said, jumping to the side.

"What was what?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"The bush... i-it moved." Applebloom said.

"I didn't see anything." Sweetie Belle said.

"Applebloom is just looking for a reason to turn back." Scootaloo said with a small, nervous laugh.

Sweetie Belle looked over at the bush and yelped, taking a few steps back. "No she's not."

"What are you to talking about?" Scootaloo asked, turning to the bush that Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were watching to see a pair of yellow eyes shining brilliantly from within it. "What is that thing?" Scootaloo asked quietly.

"I think it's one of them timberwolf thingies Granny Smith talked about durin' family appreciation day." Applebloom said.

The glow of the eyes then suddenly disappeared. The girls kept staring at the bush for what seemed like an eternity.

"Where did it go?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I don't know, but I think we should keep going." Scootaloo said.

Scootaloo then turned down the path, just to find herself face-to-face with a timberwolf, eyeing her curiously. The girls barely managed to stifle their screams as the timberwolf circled them slowly. After a few seconds the timberwolf suddenly stopped and started to growl. The girls’ bodies were all frozen in intense fear, but their eyes continued darting around the forest as they continued to hear more noise coming from the dark forest. Another timberwolf jumped out of the bush. Then a third. And then a fourth.

"What are we going to do?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I d-don't know..." Scootaloo squeaked.

Sarge and Applejack were back-tracking down the trail, looking for where the timberwolves had lost interest in them. Applejack kept trying to talk to Sarge, but whenever she tried to start a conversation, he would just grunt and keep going. It was beginning to worry her. "Y'know Sarge, it ain't doin' you much good keepin' t' yourself like this."

"How about we just stick to what we came out here to do?" Sarge muttered.

"Maybe it'd help if you, y'know, talked about yer feelin's." Applejack said.

"I would rather not. And when did you become Donut?"

"Ah've been meanin' t'ask you, who is this Donut character? Every now and again ah hear you say his name."

"He was one of my soldiers." Sarge muttered.

"Really? What happened t' him?" Applejack asked.

"He got shot and died." Sarge said, not turning to Applejack.

Applejack stood still and stared at Sarge. "Ah'm sorry Sarge, ah didn't mean t'-"

"Don't worry about it." Sarge grunted. "Let's find these wolves."

"Ah think ah understand..." Applejack said. "You blame yourself for that Donut fella's passing and you don't want to lose another one of your own."

Sarge stopped working briefly, turned to Applejack and gave her a limp shrug and went right back to work. They then heard three piercing screams. Sarge and Applejack shared a nervous look. "That sounded like-"

"Applebloom!" Applejack yelled.

Applejack and Sarge burst through the thick bushes to find the three crusaders surrounded by a pack of timberwolves. They crouched behind the bush and knew they had to come up with a plan.

"Sis' help!" Applebloom yelled.

"What are we goin' t' do?" Applejack asked. "I think I could take one or two but no more."

"You don't have to take any." Sarge said quietly, standing up.

"Sarge, you better not-" Applejack started, but Sarge leaped over the bush. "-do anythin' stupid." She trailed off, mainly to herself.

Sarge charged at the closest timberwolf to him, knocking it on the ground with the impact. The timberwolf next to him snarled and jumped at him, but Sarge bucked it, sending it flying through the trees. Another timberwolf tackled Sarge to the ground and went for his throat, but he managed to grab a stick and use it to fend off the approaching jaws. He took the next moment to kick the timberwolf off of him, leaving some teeth in the stick. The last few timberwolves turned to the stallion and stared at him with hungry eyes. Applejack jumped out from behind the bushes and stood next to Sarge. Sarge glanced behind Applejack to see the three crusaders trembling.

"Take the girls and run." Sarge said. "I'll fend them off for long enough to-"

"I'm not leaving you behind." Applejack said firmly.

"That wasn't a request." Sarge said, walking in front of Applejack. "It was an order."

"But what about the ingredient?" Applejack asked.

Sarge threw the stick at Applejacks feet. It had a few timberwolf teeth lodged in it. Applejack stared at it then back at Sarge.

"Go." Sarge yelled, running straight at the timberwolves.

Applejack looked at the girls and nodded. The girls started to run, but Applejack paused and looked back at Sarge. She then shook her head and caught up with the crusaders as they made their way to Zecora’s.

"What's Sarge doin'?" Applebloom asked while running next to her sister.

Applejack said nothing and kept pressing on, trying not to think about it. It took the four girls just a couple of minutes to arrive back at Zecora’s hut, bursting through the door, the large stick in her mouth. All the others were already back and their heads snapped to her as she spat the branch onto the ground.

"Where is the final ingredient?" Twilight asked.

"There's some teeth lodged up in this here stick." Applejack said, panting heavily as the crusaders then ran through the door and slammed it behind them.

"Girls? What are you doing here?" Twilight asked.

"We saw that Sarge was comin' in here with you guys." Applebloom started. "And we thought maybe we could come t'-"

Applejack turned suddenly as she remembered about the three little ponies that she had towed along. "What did ah tell you? Huh? Ah told you t' never come in here 'less you are with an older pony." The three fillies turned their heads down in guilt as Applejack reprimanded them.

"Where is Sarge?" Grif interrupted softly. "Don't tell me he didn't come to watch me in pain."

Applejack turned to Grif with sad eyes.

"He... he stayed behind." Applejack said, her voice suddenly much softer.

"What do you mean 'stayed behind'?" Simmons asked, though he already knew the answer.

"The girls were surrounded by the timberwolves, n' Sarge stayed back to slow 'em down so we could make it back." Applejack said. "I was goin' t' stay with him, but somepony needed to bring the girls t' safety."

The room fell silent as all eyes fell on Applejack.

"You know he's not dead, right?" Grif asked.

"I sure hope so..." Applejack said.

"No, I mean he... he is not dead." Grif said with disbelief. "He can't be."

"There was so many of 'em..." Applejack said.

"Don't worry, Grif just has trouble dealing with deaths." Simmons said. "Even when his sister-"

"My sister is still alive too you idiot..." Grif said quietly.

"Grif, I know you don't want to believe it." Twilight said quietly. "But the odds are-"

"Reds always go up against the odds and come out on top." Sarge said from outside. "But I might need some of that stew."

Grif's lips curled into a smile and he shook his head. Applejack ran up to the door and opened it and all the girls gasped. Sarge was standing there, wounds on his neck and legs, bleeding freely.

"Miss me?" Sarge said as he spat out some blood.

"I told you so." Grif said with a smirk.

Bottoms Up

Zecora scraped the poisonous secretion off of the teeth and dropped it in to the cauldron. Sarge slowly walked past the others, blood dripping onto the floor.

"Sarge..." Applejack said quietly, looking over his wounds.

"What?" Sarge grunted.

Applejack walked up to Sarge and hugged him. "Thanks fer riskin' your life on our part. That was very brave."

"Brave enough to get me a point in our little competition?" Sarge asked.

"Fine, but only 'cause you have a handicap." Applejack said with a smile.

Sarge grunted. He then turned his attention to Zecora and walked up to her. "Is there going to be enough of that for two?"

"I made enough so dozens of ponies could share this brew." Zecora said. "So I would say there will be more than enough for you."

"Good." Sarge said, taking a seat on the floor.

"Aren't you going to do anything about your injuries?" Twilight asked.

"I don't suppose you know how to?" Twilight shook her head. "Then no." Sarge said with a smile.

"Er, Sarge?" Applejack interjected, "ah think ah could try fixin' ya up if’n ya like."

Sarge turned to Applejack and gave a nod. "Sure why not. Beats looking at Grif's good-for-nothing mug any day."

"Glad to have you back Sarge." Grif said.

"Good to be back, Dirtbag." Sarge said.

"Hang on, ah need t' grab some supplies from my bag." Applejack dropped her bag to the floor and started to look through it, quickly producing a small box. She extracted a needle, a thread and a pair of tweezers from it.

"If you need privacy you may use my spare room." Zecora said, gazing in to the mixture. "I do not think the children should see such wounds."

"Thank ya kindly Zecora." Applejack said.

Applejack then opened the door to the room that Zecora had indicated, entering with Sarge.

"Okay, come near the window so ah can get some light." Applejack said.

Sarge nodded and sat down next to the window. Applejack looked over his wounds and realized they were worse than she had originally thought. She cleaned some of the blood away with a cloth. She then grabbed the thread and needle and started to stitch up the worst of the wounds. She worked in complete silence, concentrating on fixing Sarge up as much as she could and found herself done in a matter of minutes.

"Alright, you're done." Applejack said. "Ah apologize in advance, I ain't the best doctor in Equestria.."

"Much better than any other doctor I've met..." Sarge said with a gruff laugh. “Or medic for that matter.”

"Stay right here, ah'll be back right quick." Applejack said.

"Uh, okay." Sarge muttered.

Applejack walked back in to the main room and everypony looked at her.

"How is he?" Simmons asked.

"Patched him up best ah could. He should be up and at 'em once he drinks that stuff." Applejack said. Applejack then turned her attention to the three fillies. "Applebloom, you and the others need t' come with me."

"Yes sis'." Applebloom said.

The girls slowly followed Applejack to the room where Sarge was sitting idly. "Hey Sarge." They all said in unison.

"Hey." Sarge grunted.

"Well girls?" Applejack said after a couple seconds of silence. "Whaddaya say?"

"Sarge, I'm really sorry we caused this." Scootaloo said.

"We only came out here because you said you would help us find out cutie marks." Sweetie Belle said.

"We figured that if we followed ya we mighta' found 'em." Applebloom said.

"And?" Applejack pressed.

"We're sorry." The crusaders said in unison.

Sarge stared at the three crusaders whose heads were hanging low, avoiding eye contact.

"Don't be." Sarge grunted after a couple seconds of silence.

"Beg pardon?" Applejack said. "These girls almost got ya right killed."

"As I see it, if these girls hadn't followed us and screamed, we may not have found the timberwolves in time." Sarge said. "I'd say that they saved Grif's life, and as much as I hate to say it, I'd hate to see him go down like that."

"Hey, yeah!" Sweetie Belle said.

"We're like heroes or something." Scootaloo said. "Maybe we'll get our cutie marks for saving lives!"

The girls all looked at their flank at the same time and they each let out a sad sigh.

"But just because you saved his life doesn't mean what you did wasn't reckless." Sarge said. "And trust me, I've invented the meaning of that word."

"So... yarn't mad... but yarn't happy neither?" Applebloom asked.

"Exactly." Sarge said.

"Are we being punished?" Sweetie Belle asked nervously.

"I'll let Applejack decide that once we get back. I'm afraid my punishments might hospitalize you." Sarge said. "But for now let's get back to the others so I can drink that sludge."

Sarge then got off the floor and walked back to the main room and planted himself next to Zecora.

"Is it done yet?" Grif asked.

Zecora squinted at the mixture and gave a quick nod. She grabbed two glasses and filled them to the top. She gave one to Grif who took a sip and almost threw up.

"This shit is horrible." Grif said.

"They may taste bad, but once drunk things will look up." Zecora said. "But for the full effect, you must drink the entire cup."

"Quit being a wuss." Sarge muttered, chugging the bottle in one go. He then sniffed the empty bottle and gagged. "Ugh. It's quite pungent."

"It's fucking stinging my throat." Grif yelled, rubbing his neck. "And not in a good way."

"Zecora, I'll be honest with you..." Sarge said, starting to sense the aftertaste. "This tastes like pure gasoline."

"There is something about the potion I forgot to mention." Zecora said. "This is not a full antidote, merely a potion of suspension."

"Meaning?" Grif said nervously.

"I think she means that it will not get rid of the infection, it will just stop it from spreading." Twilight said.

"That is what it is, but have no fear. Given some time, the pain and moss shall clear." Zecora said. "The infection has not spread deep in to Sarge, so he will be completely cured of this charge."

"Okay so just to be sure, this moss shit will disappear and it will stop hurting." Grif asked. "And for the love of god don't rhyme for an answer, I'm having trouble keeping up here, just nod or shake your head."

Zecora thought for a second and then nodded.

"Fear not, for what remains within you will now provide durability." Zecora said, trying to use more simple words. "Making you stronger and hardier, without sacrificing agility."

"Hey Simmons, that means I'm just like you!" Grif said.

"What are you talking about?" Simmons asked.

"You're part robot and I'm part tree." Grif said. "Except my part actually sounds pretty damn useful."

Carried Over

The group of ponies said their thanks to Zecora and started to back down the trail to Ponyville.

"I can't wait to get some sleep." Tucker said. "I feel exhausted."

"We're all tired dipshit." Church muttered. "Though you're looking worse than Grif is."

"I feel quite good actually." Grif said with a chuckle. "How about you Sarge?"

"Besides the awful taste in my mouth, not too bad." Sarge said.

"I guess the blues are just fond of complaining." Grif said.

"Last time I go out of my way to save your lazy ass..." Church muttered.

They heard a snap to their left and they all turned to see a group of timberwolves following them. Sarge stepped in between the two groups. The timberwolves glanced at each other and disappeared back in to the bushes and trees.

"What did ya do to 'em?" Applejack asked.

"You don't want to know." Sarge said with a wicked grin.

"I would. Timberwolves are cunning, but they aren't easily scared." Twilight said. "You must have done something pretty bad to them to make them back off like that."

"Let's just say I may have bucked one so hard it may have..." Sarge started, pausing to think of a suitable word.

"May have what?" Church asked.

"Exploded." Sarge grunted finally.

"What do you mean by exploded?" Twilight asked.

"What does it sound like?" Sarge chuckled. "One of them pounced on my back to bite my neck. After it did, I kicked it in the body and it became firewood."

Twilight stared nervously at the others then back to Sarge. "That's impossible." Twilight said in disbelief. "Timberwolves are made out of extremely thick bark. It would take much more force than a buck to take one of them down, even more to 'explode' them as you put it."

"Maybe it didn't explode, but I sure as hell made the others back off." Sarge said. "All I know is that they left me alone after that."

Twilight thought for a moment and decided that she would have to think about this later.

"I just can't wait to get some sleep." Tucker said.

"Me too. We'll need our rest for tomorrow." Rainbow Dash said. "The Wonderbolts show is going to be so awesome. It's too bad that none of you guys are going."

"Actually me and Simmons are attending said event as well." Rarity said.

"Oh, are you buying tickets tomorrow too?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"No, me and Simmons got invited to it so we are going together." Rarity said.

Spike then glared at Simmons but Simmons avoided his eye contact.

"That's cool. Maybe we'll see you guys there." Rainbow Dash said.

"Maybe." Rarity said.

"Hey Tucker?" Rainbow Dash said.

"Yeah?"

"What happened back at the cave?"

"I don't know but it was pretty fucking cool." Tucker said excitedly.

"What happened?" Twilight asked.

"You should have seen it Twilight." Rainbow Dash said. "Tucker was fighting a cockatrice and out of nowhere, Tucker started to shoot electricity out of his body-"

"He shot electricity out of his body?" Church asked.

"Yeah, and then he charged his wings with it somehow and took the cockatrice to the back of the cave, and then when he was in there, the electricity shot out of both sides of his right foreleg, and it looked like a blade. And then he used the blade-thing to cut the cockatrice’s tail off."

Church looked over to Tucker and then nodded. "Looks like you brought it here with you."

"What do you mean Church?" Twilight asked.

"Before we came here, Tucker had this weapon." Church said. "An energy sword."

"What's an energy sword?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Sounds cool."

"It's exactly how it sounds, a sword that was made out of pure energy." Church said.

"Is he the only one who had one?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah. When he first found it and used it, it became tied to him. Like, he was the only one that could use it." Church said. "I'm guessing that it got carried over when we came here."

"But it was out of juice after the fight with the Meta." Tucker said.

"It must have gotten recharged somehow then." Church said.

"Maybe it was when I hit you with lightning." Rainbow Dash suggested.

"That would make the most sense." Church said. "I wonder what made it come out like that though."

"I think Sarge did that too!" Caboose said.

"Sarge never had a sword Caboose..." Church said.

"When I was with him at the place with the food and things-"

"The marketplace." Applejack filled in.

"Yeah the mark-it place!" Caboose said. "When we were there he kicked this one guy and it sounded like his shotgun!"

"I remember that." Sarge said with a laugh. "I sent his ass flying so damn hi-"

Sarge then grunted and thought for a second.

"What is ‘t'?" Applejack asked.

"I remember hearing that sound when I kicked the timberwolf too." Sarge said.

"You must have brought a remnant of your shotgun with you, but rather than a physical appearance it gives you the power to kick as hard as the shotgun hit." Church said. "That would explain why you sent him flying backwards, and why the timberwolf exploded."

"Then why din't the trees break when Sarge helped us harvest 'em?"Applejack asked.

"It might be related to heart rate." Twilight suggested.

"I would bet it’s either that or adrenaline." Church agreed. "When Tucker used his ability or whatever, it was when he was fighting the cockatrice. Same with Sarge when he fought the stallion and the timberwolves. We should look into this more later." Church said as they reached the edge of the forest. "But for now I think we should just get some rest. It's been a long fucking day."

They all shared a quick goodbye as they entered town and split up. Church, Twilight and Spike soon arrived back at the library, Twilight heading straight to bed. Spike however, was sitting on the balcony.

"What's on your mind?" Church asked.

"Nothing." Spike said quietly.

"Even though I've been here for a short time I already know when you're lying." Church said, chuckling for a brief moment. "It's about Simmons and Rarity, isn't it?"

Spike looked at Church and nodded his head. Church sighed and sat next to him.

"I think he is only going with her as a friend." Church said. "Not anything more, so you shouldn't be worrying."

"Maybe, but I can't help but feel that that could change..." Spike said sadly.

"You can't think like that. If you do the only person ending up hurt is yourself." Church said.

"Maybe you're right." Spike looked at the moon and sighed. He then stood up and started to make his way back in to the library. "You're a good guy, y'know that Church?"

"Get to know me more and you won't think that for long." Church said with a laugh, patting Spike on the back.

Entry Fee

"I can't wait to go. It's going to be awesome!" Rainbow Dash said, hopping up and down with anticipation.

"So you've been saying for the past week." Tucker muttered dryly, taking a bite out of his sandwich.

"Sorry, it's just been my dream to join them since I was a filly. I get excited whenever I get the chance to see them." Rainbow Dash said.

"Don't worry about it, I do more than just babble when I'm over excited." Tucker said.

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes but continued to smile.

"Alright, are you done yet? I'd really like to get going." Rainbow Dash said.

"Hold your horses babe." Tucker chuckled.

Rainbow Dash punched him lightly in the neck. Tucker kept eating his sandwich and did not turn around. "Tucker, you're a pain in the flank. But I have to say, you're pretty fun to have around. Y'know, besides the whole shower incident."

"You're telling me that as if I'm supposed to be surprised." Tucker said, turning to meet her look.

"If we go now we might be able to get some good seats." Rainbow Dash said. "I might have to hit you if we end up in the nosebleeds."

"Is that a promise?" Tucker asked innocently. "Bow chicka bow wow." Earning him a light swat from Rainbow Dash

Tucker and Rainbow Dash soon made their way to the Cloudaseum where some pegasi were already making their way in. Rainbow Dash zoomed to the entrance and waited next to it impatiently, "Hurry up!"

"Sure." Tucker said, speeding towards her before crashing clumsily onto the cloud.

"Classy." Rainbow Dash said with a joyful glint in her eyes.

"That's just how I roll." Tucker said, slowly standing on the cloud. "This feels awkward to stand on."

"That's because it's a cloud. You're lucky you're a pegasus otherwise you wouldn't be able to stand on it. Now come on." Rainbow Dash said as she turned to the entrance with a sack of bits in her hoof. "We'll have two tickets to the Wonderbolts, and make it fast."

"Can't. We're sold out." The pegasus behind the counter said.

"What?" Rainbow Dash gasped.

Rainbow Turned to Tucker and she had a certain fire in her eye that unsettled Tucker.

"Hello Rainbow Dash, hello Tucker." Rarity said.

"Oh thank god." Tucker muttered.

"Hey." Rainbow Dash said sadly.

"What's wrong?" Simmons asked.

"We found out that the tickets are sold out." Rainbow Dash said, looking back at Tucker.

Tucker avoided her eye contact like the plague and tried to change the subject, finding it hard due to the fact that the Cloudaseum was right behind him. "So how are you guys standing up here?"

"Twilight taught me the spell she used before we last came to Cloudsdale. It allows me and Simmons to stand on clouds." Rarity explained. Rarity then turned her attention to her friend. "Are you okay?"

"I guess... I just hoped that I would be able to see the show. They're saying that it'll be their best one yet." Rainbow Dash said, shoulders sagging. "They have a whole new routine and everything... I guess I'll have to see it later."

Rarity watched as Rainbow Dash slowly walked to the edge of the cloud. She then looked at Simmons and raised an inquisitive brow to Simmons. Simmons looked at Tucker who was looking at Rainbow Dash guiltily. Simmons then turned back to Rarity and nodded slowly.

"Say Rainbow Dash..." Rarity said, walking next to her.

"Yeah?" Rainbow Dash asked quietly.

"I know how important this is to you, so-"

"Ah, there she is!" Boomed a powerful stallion’s voice.

Rarity's head turned to see Flint Westhoof standing a couple meters away, surrounded by fans.

"Oh, hello Mr. Westhoof." Rarity said.

"Come now, you don't have to refer to me formally. We are here for recreation, not a business venture." Flint said with a chuckle. Flint then looked at Rainbow Dash who was staring blankly at him. "Who are your friends?"

"Oh, this is Rainbow Dash." Rarity said. "She is the biggest Wonderbolts fan I know which is why-"

"The event will be starting shortly." A voice boomed over a speaker.

"That is our cue." Flint said, putting one foreleg over Rarity and the other over Simmons. "I told many other ponies about the designs that you and Simmons have made and they are just dying to meet you."

"That's great but-" Rarity started.

"No need to thank me, it's the least I could do." Flint said, walking in to the Cloudaseum, dragging Rarity and Simmons with him.

Rarity looked back at Rainbow Dash and Tucker who were starting to leave.

"Let's go to the back. Maybe we can see them while they're coming in." Rainbow Dash said.

"Sure." Tucker said, walking next to Rainbow Dash.

They soon found themselves at the back entrance where a large crowd was formed, in which every single pegasus was cheering. A loud pop was heard as several pegasi zoomed towards the entrance. The cheering intensified as the group came to a smooth landing and slowly started towards the door.

"Spitfire! Hey Spitfire!" Rainbow Dash called out.

"Oh, how's it going Rainbow Dash?" Spitfire asked.

"Good. Well, besides the fact that I came here to watch you guys fly and finding the tickets to be sold out." Rainbow Dash said dejectedly.

"I'm sorry to hear about that." Spitfire said. "I'm sorry, but I'll have to cut our chat short. It's showtime."

Spitfire then turned towards the door with the other Wonderbolt members.

"You saved her life and that's how she thanks you? What a bitch." Tucker said.

The crowd gasped in unison, Spitfire turned and stared curiously at Tucker.

"Tucker! What the hay!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed in a horrified whisper.

"And who are you?" Spitfire asked.

"A friend." Tucker stated simply.

"Well sorry friend, but there isn't much I can do on such short notice." Spitfire said.

"I'm sure there is and you're just being lazy." Tucker said.

"Lazy?" Spitfire said with a brief laugh. "You sure know how to pick 'em Dash. And here I thought you were cool."

"She's infinitely cooler than you are." Tucker said.

"Wow, aren't you the bold one?" Spitfire asked.

"I think I know a way we can both get what we want." Tucker said.

"Oh? And what would that be?" Spitfire asked.

"I challenge you to a flying competition." Tucker said smugly.

"You're way out of your league kid." Soarin chuckled. Not as a sign of contempt, but rather a warning.

"Do I detect a hint of fear in that voice?" Tucker asked.

The entire crowd, including Rainbow Dash, gasped and looked over at the leader of the Wonderbolts with mouths agape. Spitfire looked over at Soarin and they both nodded.

"Know what? You're on." Spitfire said, giving Tucker’s hoof a firm shake before flying in to the Cloudaseum.

"Tucker what did you just do? We're gonna be the laughing stock of Cloudsdale." Rainbow Dash said furiously.

"C'mon Dash, don't you trust me?" Tucker said, walking confidently in to the Cloudaseum.

Change of Plans

Tucker walked in to the Cloudaseum and took in the surroundings. It was much like he believed the Colosseum to look like, except that there wasn’t a floor. Rainbow Dash was slowly creeping in behind Tucker, crouching ever so slightly as she found herself stricken by fear. Up in the VIP booth, Simmons and Rarity were standing at the front, watching as the Wonderbolts shot in to the Cloudaseum and straight to the announcers booth.

"Attention everypony!" A thunderous voice exclaimed on the loudspeakers. "There is a change in the schedule. It seems that a pair of pegasi have challenged the Wonderbolts to a flying competition."

"It's quite a shame that Rainbow Dash and Tucker couldn't see this. Rainbow Dash would feel so sorry for whoever challenged the Wonderbolts." Rarity said.

"Yeah..." Simmons said, turning to look at where the Wonderbolts had entered. "Say, isn't that them down there?"

"What?" Rarity said, looking at where Simmons was looking and her jaw dropped. "This is not going to end well."

Rainbow Dash quickly walked behind Tucker trying to hide behind him. "What's wrong?" Tucker asked.

"Everything is wrong. Why would you talk to the Wonderbolts that way?" Rainbow Dash muttered.

"Because they were acting like stuck up assholes." Tucker said.

"No they weren't. They just needed to get inside because they have a performance you idiot." Rainbow Dash said.

"Well they owe you one. And now we get to see their show up close, so why are you complaining?" Tucker asked.

"I'm complaining because you made them think I'm a... a..."

"A bitch?" Tucker asked with a chuckle.

"This isn't funny Tucker." Rainbow Dash growled. "You've single-handedly ruined my chances with them! They'll never let me join them now."

"What if we beat them?" Tucker asked.

"How do you expect us to beat them? They train every single day non-stop!" Rainbow Dash said.

"I have a plan, don't worry about it." Tucker said.

"What's your plan?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well I was thinking that you could do that rainbow thing an-"

"WHAT? That’s your plan?" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Yeah, why? Can't you just do it whenever?" Tucker asked.

"No, I can't! I don't control when I do it, it just happens! What else does your plan entail? Did you expect some miracles to just happen?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Not really, the rainbow thing was all I really had going for me." Tucker said.

Rainbow Dash glared at Tucker as her shoulders deflated. Spitfire, Soarin and a couple other Wonderbolts flew next to Tucker and Rainbow Dash.

"Hey, I just wanted to wish you guys luck!" Spitfire said, extending her hoof to Tucker.

"Nah you should hold on to it." Tucker said.

Spitfire laughed and nodded to Tucker.

"Alright then. I hope you guys have fun then." Spitfire said before shooting towards the starting point.

"The Wonderbolts will now be performing their new show, so sit tight and enjoy!" The announcer called out.

"You have a habit of digging yourself into deep holes, don't you?" Rainbow Dash muttered.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." Tucker said.

Four of the Wonderbolts took to the air, each wielding a large metal cylinder on their backs from opposite sides of the Cloudaseum.

"What are those?" Tucker asked.

"I have no idea." Rainbow Dash said.

As the Wonderbolts got a decent distance away from each other they all made sudden turns and started to fly towards the center of the Cloudaseum. They were a few dozen feet away from each other before they each pulled a chord that was attached to their cylinder. The cylinders then started to release a large amount of dark clouds that trailed behind them. When they were but a few feet away from each other they all veered to the right and started to spin in a circle. Another four Wonderbolts started to fly from where the others were and they started pushing the clouds towards where the original four were spinning.

"What are they doing?" Tucker asked.

"Shh." Rainbow Dash said, focusing on the group.

Spitfire and Soarin then came from the top and went in the middle of the spinning Wonderbolts. The four Wonderbolts that were holding the clouds kicked them at their spinning group members and they took them away. Spitfire and Soarin nodded at each other and they started to spin in the same direction as the other four, but in a tighter and sharper circle. The four that were spinning started to release some of the clouds, making a ring of clouds in between them. They then started to slowly move up, making a spinning trail of clouds. As they gained altitude they started circling faster and soon the clouds were spinning in unison.

"Are they making a tornado?" Simmons muttered.

"Looks like it." Flint chuckled. "This is quite exhilarating.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Simmons asked.

"They're professionals Simmons, I wouldn’t worry about it." Rarity said with a smile.

Simmons looked at the tornado that was being formed as it got larger and larger until the original four ran out of clouds. Once they did they shot upwards in unison with Spitfire and Soarin and they all took turns flying straight through the tornado, not affected by the sharp winds inside as well as dodging bolts of electricity that were shooting around the inside. Once they all went through the tornado they all started spinning alongside it, picking away at the clouds until the tornado dispersed. The Wonderbolts then started spelling out the group’s name with the bits of cloud, to which the crowd responded to with a large amount of cheering.

"We're doomed." Rainbow Dash said.

"Maybe not." Tucker said with a smirk, flapping his wings lightly.

"You're up." Spitfire said as she flew past Tucker.

Tucker looked over to Rainbow Dash who was shaking from fear.

"Are you afraid of performing in front of crowds?" Tucker asked with a laugh.

"No, I just don't like the idea of being laughed out of Cloudsdale and being shunned forever!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Well it will probably make it worse if you leave without giving it a shot." Tucker said.

"Yeah, yeah." Rainbow Dash said, starting to fly towards the middle of the arena.

Tucker started to fly around, grabbing all the large clouds that were spread about, bringing them towards the middle.

"What are you planning?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'm not planning. I'm just winging it." Tucker said with a smirk, to which Rainbow Dash glared at him as a response. "Just fly around and do some stunts, I got this."

Rainbow Dash nodded and started to fly around, doing aerial moves that she had done many times before to stall the crowd to allow Tucker to prepare. Once Tucker had a satisfying amount of the heavy, black clouds, occasionally shooting off lightning. He shifted uneasily and looked at Rainbow Dash, preparing himself for the stunt that he was about to pull.

"What are you going to do?" Rainbow Dash said.

"You'll see." Tucker said with a weak smile.

Tucker then swerved into the dark clouds and started to fly around inside of them, trying to gain some of the electrical current. He slowly started to build up electricity as he flew, making his body shoot off some sparks. Then a lightning bolt struck Tucker and he fell out of the clouds and started spiraling towards the ground, barely conscious.

Black Stuff

The crowd watched as Tucker fell at an intense speed, believing it to be part of some sort of routine. Rainbow Dash watched Tucker for a few seconds thinking the same thing before realizing this was real. She then surged downward with her forelegs extended and wings collapsed to minimize wind resistance. The crowd realized by the expression of fear on her face that this was not planned. The pressure of the wind rippled along Rainbow Dash's face, fiercely contorting it, as she continued going down. Tucker was getting too close to the ground. Rainbow Dash shook the negative thoughts from her head and grunted as she continued her power-dive, hooves first. The pressure on her hooves was growing stronger as she dove. Suddenly the scene in front of Rainbow Dash became extremely bright and a visible cone of wind surged past her.

"What is she doing?" Simmons asked.

"Shh." Rarity said, focusing on Rainbow Dash.

Tucker was twenty seconds from hitting the ground. Rainbow Dash surged forwards and a large explosion of color shot out from behind her.

"What the-" Flint started.

Seventeen seconds until impact, Rainbow Dash continued to surge forward and the pain of the pressure was starting to hit her.

"What was that?" Simmons asked.

Twelve seconds until impact, Tucker was gaining speed as he fell and Rainbow Dash was slowly gaining.

"Come on Rainbow Dash." Rarity whispered.

Eight seconds until impact, Rainbow Dash was getting close but it was going to be a close call.

"I can't look." Simmons said, closing his eyes.

Four seconds until impact, Tucker opened his eyes and looked at Rainbow Dash and winked.

"Wha-" Rainbow Dash started.

Tucker opened his wings and surged upwards, flying past Rainbow Dash. Tucker put one hoof on the trail of rainbows behind her and started to spin around it. The crowd watched attentively as Tucker was somehow manipulating the rainbow, making it start to spin. He continued going upwards towards the base of the rainboom, the electricity exerted off of his body constantly changing colors.

"What is he doing?" Simmons said as everypony else in the stadium gawked.

Tucker looked down at Rainbow Dash who had a look of disbelief on her face. Tucker looked back up and continued spinning, with the rainbow, which was starting to spin more violently. He was getting close to the edge of the trail and the rainbow then started to spin with great speeds, making a multicolored tornado. The crowd started cheering as he reached the end of the trail, multicolored electricity still shown shooting out of him. He looked up at the clouds and shot towards them, a trail of rainbow electricity following him. When he reached the clouds he channeled as much of the energy as he could and shot into the clouds. The clouds then flashed green and Tucker did not shoot out the other side.

"Where did he go?" Rainbow Dash asked quietly to herself.

Rainbow Dash flew upwards towards the clouds and started to fly inside them but Tucker was nowhere to be found.

"Is he inside the cloud?" Flint asked.

"Impossible. He had way too much momentum to just stop." Simmons said.

"Then what wa-"

A green flash appeared in the VIP area and a black pegasus came screeching to a halt right in front of Flint.

"Who are you?" Flint asked.

Simmons shook his head with a loose smile. "You got something on you."

The black pegasus looked down and groaned.

"Really? The black shit came with me too?" He muttered.

"Is that who I think it is?" Rarity asked.

Simmons nodded as the black pegasus shook off the worst of the black stuff. "Nice going Tucker."

"Thanks." Tucker said, patting off the rest of the black stuff.

Tucker then flew out of the VIP area and behind Rainbow Dash who was still looking for him. Tucker tapped her on the shoulder and coughed. Rainbow Dash turned around and looked at Tucker who was smiling at her.

"I told you I had a plan." Tucker snickered.

Rainbow Dash then gave Tucker a swift kick to the balls.

"Fuck!" Tucker grunted, remembering to flap his wings as to not fall. "That wasn't what I was expecting."

"Be glad that it isn't worse than that." Rainbow Dash snickered.

"What was the kick for?" Tucker asked still cringing from the pain.

"That was for not letting me in on your little plan. And don't you ever make me worried like that again." Rainbow Dash said.

"So... you were worried for me, huh?" Tucker said with a smile.

Rainbow Dash blushed slightly, but quickly shook it off. "Yeah, well... who knows what Celestia would do if you died when I was supposed to be watching you." Rainbow Dash said before flying back down to the stadium.

"I'm sure that's the reason you were worried." Tucker said with a laugh before following her.

"That was amazing." Rarity said as the pair landed next to them.

"I know it was." Tucker said.

"Hey Rainbow Dash, mind coming over here for a sec?" Spitfire said as she landed in the VIP area with Soarin and two other Wonderbolts.

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash said before turning to Tucker. "Stay. Right. Here."

"What? Can't I come over and say hello?" Tucker asked innocently.

Rainbow Dash shook her head and trotted up to Spitfire and nodded.

"First off, I just want to congratulate you and your... friend. I didn't think bending a rainbow was possible so good job on that." Spitfire said, extending her hoof.

"Thanks Spitfire." Rainbow Dash said excitedly as she shook her idols hoof.

"I also want to give you two things. First one being an apology." Spitfire said in a sincere voice. "I really should have thanked you more than I had for saving our lives."

"Don't worry about it." Rainbow Dash said.

"The second thing I want to give you is an invitation." Spitfire said.

"An invitation?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Spitfire looked back at one of the Wonderbolts and nodded. The Wonderbolt then took out an envelope and handed it to Rainbow Dash. She hastily opened it and sifted through the letter.

"You want me to join the Wonderbolts?" Rainbow Dash said, giddy with excitement.

"We know it's been your dream so we felt this was an apt way to apologize to you." Spitfire said.

Rainbow Dash's smile grew large and she looked at Tucker who was laughing with Simmons.

"As much as I'll hate myself for this... I think I'll pass." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"You'll pass?" Spitfire asked curiously.

"I think I'll stick with Tucker for awhile. The Princess ordered me to watch him. I don't want to get banished for disobeying orders." Rainbow Dash said.

Spitfire looked at Tucker and her features softened. "I understand." Spitfire said with a nod.

Rainbow Dash held up the invitation to her but Spitfire just stared at it. "Keep it. You can look us up later if you change your mind." Spitfire said, turning to leave. She then paused and giggled. "But next time keep him on a tighter leash."

And with that, the Wonderbolts left the stadium.

Realization

Twilight got out of her room and made her way downstairs, where Church was looking through the bookshelves.

"Hello Church." Twilight said quietly as she walked up behind him.

"Hey Twilight." Church grunted, his eyes still scanning the shelves.

"Do you like to read?" Twilight asked happily.

"Not really. I just figured I should do something rather than sit around all day." Church muttered.

"Are you looking for anything in particular?" Twilight asked as she walked next to him to help.

"Nope, just looking at what you've got. I have to say, for all the books you have you certainly don't have much of a selection." Church said with a laugh.

"What do you mean by that?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Well you mostly just have books on magic and history, you don't have any fictional books." Church said then chuckled lightly."I didn't think I'd ever hear myself putting magic in the same category as non-fiction."

Twilight giggled and used her magic and pulled out a few books. She looked at their titles and nodded at a few of them. She stacked them on top of each other and placed them on the table.

"What kind of books are those?" Church asked.

"I pulled out a variety of books. There is an adventure book, a book on psychology..." Twilight said and looked away. "And a book on magic."

"Of course it is." Church said. "I should probably start learning this magic stuff anyways."

"If you need any help with anything don't hesitate to tell me." Twilight said as she walked in to the next room.

"Will do." Church grunted.

Church grabbed the magic book out of the stack and looked at the cover. The title was 'Magic for Fillies'. Church looked at the door to the other room and grunted.

"I guess I should start with the basics anyways." Church muttered dryly before opening the book. He quickly glossed over the first few pages that explained how to do seemingly menial things, like how to open a door. Church shrugged and focused on the door and his horn had a faint glow to it. He squinted his eyes on the handle of the door and started walking closer to it. He then closed his eyes fully and the door shot open and he felt a searing pain shoot through his face as the door hit him in the face.

"Hey, I did it!" Church said in a voice that was a mix of happiness and pain.

"The fuck are you on about?" Tucker asked quietly.

Church's eyes snapped open and he glared at Tucker.

"Of course, it's just you." Church grunted sourly. "What are you doing here?"

"I screwed up." Tucker said quietly.

"Well isn't that a surprise? It is good to see you are keeping up with your fuck up quota." Church said.

"No, I mean I think I really screwed up this time." Tucker muttered.

Church stared silently at Tucker, noting his bloodshot eyes. "What happened?" Church said after a few seconds of silence.

"Long story short, I stood up for Dash, she said she loved me, I didn't." Tucker said.

"Well done, you receive the biggest idiot of the year awards. Better go tell Caboose that his reign as champion is over." Church said with a cruel laugh.

"Honestly, I don't even fucking care." Tucker muttered, about to turn back out the door. "I should have known you would be a dick as usual."

"You've never really been the most supportive guy either." Church said.

"That's because you're always bitching about something." Tucker laughed roughly.

"What do you want me to do then?" Church asked.

"I don't know, you usually do something stupid that ends up going well for you." Tucker replied.

"When has anything ever gone well for me exactly?" Church asked curiously.

"That's not important." Tucker groaned. "You need to help me figure this out."

"I need to help you? Why would I want to do that? I think it's hilarious seeing you this far up shit creek." Church said.

Before Tucker could say anything, Twilight walked back in to the room. "Hello Tucker, what brings you here?"

"Do you think you could help me?" Tucker asked quietly.

"That depends what you need help with." Twilight replied.

"He thinks that Rainbow Dash likes him and he pissed her off." Church said.

"I can try to help." Twilight said, nodding slowly. "Tell me everything that happened."

Tucker sat down and quickly ran through the details; the Wonderbolts, the stunt, how he teleported, the dinner and finally where Dash said she liked him.

"Rainbow Dash was always a stubborn pegasus so we may have a bit of trouble." Twilight said.

"She sounds like the perfect match for Tucker then." Church chuckled.

Tucker ignored Church and kept looking at Twilight.

"Do you think you have anything you could say that would help me?" Tucker asked.

"Maybe." Twilight said as she searched her thoughts. Her eyes went wide for a brief moment and she looked at Tucker. "Tell me about your dream."

"What dream?" Tucker asked.

"The nightmare you had, about the cupcakes." Twilight said quietly.

"How is that going to help me exactly?" Tucker moaned.

"Just do it." Church said.

"Fine." Tucker muttered.

Tucker then gave a quick summary of his nightmare. Twilight looked over to Church and they both nodded slowly as he finished his story.

"There, did that help?" Tucker asked sarcastically.

"More than you would think." Twilight replied quietly.

"What do you mean?" Tucker asked hesitantly.

"I don't think you were scared to die..." Twilight said quietly.

"Okay, good to know. What does that have to do with anything?" Tucker asked.

"She means that you were scared for Rainbow Dash." Church said.

"No way, I'm a manly man. I don't have time for bullshit feelings." Tucker grunted.

"You really are like her." Twilight noted.

"So I was worried about her. How is that going to help me?" Tucker asked.

"Maybe you should tell her how you actually feel. She likes you for you, as surprising as that is. Why would you throw it away just because you are afraid of saying three words." Church said.

Tucker blinked for a few seconds and slowly nodded as it sunk in. "You're right." Tucker said quickly. "You know, maybe you aren't as big of a bitch as I thought you were Church."

"I already regret helping you." Church laughed.

"Seriously though, thanks." Tucker said, taking off straight for Rainbow Dash's place.

Dearly Departed

When Rainbow Dash back to her house, she flew straight up to her room, slamming the door after her.

"Why on earth did I think that I liked him?" Rainbow Dash asked herself as she threw her letter onto the bed.

She sat on her bed and looked out the window at the rising moon, her mind racing at what had transpired. After a few minutes she let out a sad sigh and laid down in an attempt to ease her tired mind. She suddenly sat straight up and looked at the foot of her bed. She hadn’t realized how much she’d already gotten used to having Tucker there with her, and it left her restless. She quickly crawled to the other side of the bed and snatched up the envelope and opened it and quickly read through it, trying to take her mind off the events of that afternoon once again. She tossed the envelope and letter on her bedside table in disgust, and looked out the window, images of the Wonderbolts performing spectacular stunts flying across her vision. Rainbow Dash couldn’t take it anymore. She flew out, locking the door behind her, before flying off to Cloudsdale.

A couple minutes later Tucker arrived at her place. He peered in through one of the first-floor windows. "Dash you up there?" Tucker flew up to the door and sighed as he tried to open it. "Come down and open the damn door."

Tucker stared up at the second story window for a few seconds, then started banging on the door. "I know you're in there. Can I just talk to you for a minute?" Tucker pleaded.

Tucker received no answer so he scowled and glared back up at the window. "I'm coming in whether you want me to or not." Tucker said.

"One." Still no answer. Tucker sighed once again and shook his forelegs

"Two..." Tucker said, bringing his hoof back. Rainbow Dash still gave no answer and Tucker shook his head as he reared up on his hind legs.

"Three. Alright, I warned you." Tucker threw his front hooves into the door, knocking it straight off of its hinges. He immediately flew into the main room, scanning it quickly. Tucker then faced towards the stairs and sighed.

"Come on, I'm not good at this apologizing stuff and you're not making it any easier!" Tucker called out.

Rainbow Dash remained silent, so Tucker ran straight up to the bedroom and gave the door a quick knock. After a few seconds he pulled the door open and saw that the room was empty. "Are you in here?" Tucker asked. He grunted and sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face with a light groan. He looked on the bedside table and saw a ripped envelope with a piece of paper under it. He snapped it up and read it quickly under his breath.

“Congratulations on your invitation to the Wonderbolts. You have been given this letter for demonstrating a great aptitude and passion for flying. If you would like to join us for a practice session, we are at our training facility daily from dawn until midday. You can use this letter as a guaranteed pass to enter the training center, as we do not guarantee recognition of every new face. We hope to see you soon.

Happy Flying,
Spitfire
Captain of the Wonderbolts”

He threw the piece of paper back on to the bedside table and kicked it over.

"Son of a bitch." Tucker muttered.

Tucker laid down on the bed. He stared at the ceiling for an hour, thinking of what he should do. An idea popped into his head and he got off the bed, snagging the letter off the ground and quickly read through it again. Tucker’s lips spread into a smile as he got to the end.

"...You can use this letter as a guaranteed pass to enter the training center, as we do not guarantee recognition of every new face." Tucker read happily. "I guess I'm joining the Wonderbolts."

Tucker then looked out the window and saw the moon high in the sky. He stretched his wings and plopped down on the bed.

"Guess I should grab some sleep while I wait for morning." Tucker yawned before falling asleep.

When Tucker woke up he grabbed the letter, rushed down the stairs and made his way straight to Cloudsdale. He didn't know where exactly where the Wonderbolts’ training center was, so he would need to find some other pegasus that could point him in the right direction. Once he arrived in Cloudsdale he did not see anypony in the area. He looked at the horizon and noted that the sun still hasn't started to rise yet.

"Uh, hello? It's Tucker, right?" A voice suddenly came from behind him.

Tucker spun around to be greeted by a blue pegasus who was smiling at him.

"Do I know you?" Tucker muttered quietly.

The blue pegasus looked at himself and chuckled. "Right. I'm not wearing my uniform." The pegasus said, rubbing the back of his neck. "We met yesterday at the Cloudaseum. I'm Soarin, from the Wonderbolts."

"Oh yeah." Tucker said. He then started to smile. "Hey, you're on your way to your practice right?"

"Yeah, why?" Soarin asked curiously, eyebrow raised.

"I was wondering if I could come with you and try out for the team." Tucker said.

"I don't know, you didn't exactly make Spitfire happy with your attitude yesterday." Soarin said with a smile. "Plus I'm pretty sure she didn't give you an invite."

"Too bad for her." Tucker said, pulling the envelope out from under his wing, returning Soarin's smile. "It says that if I have this I will be allowed to try out, even if she doesn't remember giving it to me."

Soarin let out a brief laugh and nodded slowly. "I always told her that she should change what they said. Come on, it's not far from here, and if we hurry we should be able to make it there before they start." Soarin said, starting to walk across the clouds. "I'm usually a bit late so that won't surprise her, but I think after seeing you she will be."

"Well I hope it's a pleasant surprise then." Tucker chuckled before following Soarin to the practice area.

Trying Out

Tucker and Soarin landed on a large cloud in an open air space, with a small building sitting atop of the cloud. Soarin motioned his head towards it and the two slowly walked up to the entrance. Soarin knocked on the door.

"Late as usual, eh Soarin?" Spitfire chuckled. "You really need to start waking up earlier."

"This time it isn't my fault. It seems like we got some new fodder to test." Soarin yelled sarcastically.

"What? Who is it?" Spitfire asked curiously before opening the door.

Spitfire looked out to see Tucker staring right back at her. She raised her brow and looked at Soarin.

"Hey, don't blame me, this is all on you this time." Soarin said with a weak laugh.

"What's he doing here?" Came a harsh voice from the inside.

"I came here to join the Wonderbolts." Tucker replied smugly.

Rainbow Dash appeared from behind Spitfire and glared at Tucker.

"Miss me?" Tucker chuckled.

"Hardly." Rainbow Dash replied icily.

Soarin looked between Tucker and Rainbow Dash, so he leaned closer to Tucker. "What happened?" he asked quietly.

"Long story short, mistakes were made." Tucker replied even quieter.

"Female troubles?" Soarin asked with a small laugh.

"When isn't it?" Tucker said and they both broke into full-hearted laughter.

"Why are you here?" Rainbow Dash asked bluntly.

"I just figured that since you liked the Wonderbolts so much, you wouldn't be mad at me if I became one." Tucker replied nonchalantly.

"Yeah, that isn't going to happen." Rainbow Dash grunted.

"So when do I start?" Tucker asked, turning to Spitfire.

"Well, we never had two ponies at once and we only have one spot." Spitfire said.

"I was here first though so I get it, right?" Rainbow Dash asked, simultaneously excited and nervous.

"I think we should test them both to see who will get to join." Soarin coughed.

"That sounds good. Let's go out and choose some quick tests for them to do." Spitfire said before walking out.

Soarin nodded and quickly followed her out. Rainbow Dash continued glaring at Tucker and he winked at her.

"Ladies first." Tucker said happily, moving out of the way to let her through.

"Don't think I'm going to go easy on you." Rainbow Dash growled before flying after Spitfire.

"Good, I could use a challenge." Tucker laughed, following them.

As Tucker made his way over, he saw Spitfire and Soarin were flying around some rings. They seemed to be setting up the courses for him and Rainbow Dash. After a few minutes, Soarin shot down and landed next to the anxious pair of pegasi.

"Alright, so the first test we are going to have you do is the ring course. All you need to do is go through all the rings, like the name suggests. But there will be a flag for each of you in every ring that you must grab to prove that you flew through each ring. If you miss a single one before going through the last ring you lose by default." Soarin said quickly. "Any questions?"

"Yeah, what are the rules of conduct?" Tucker asked.

"Generally we only ever have one of us at any given time going through the tracks, but Spitfire thought it would be better to have you both go at once." Soarin laughed. "So I would say the only rule is to not kill each other."

"What is the punishment for breaking the rule?" Rainbow Dash asked deadpan.

"Auto-disqualification." Soarin replied seriously.

"Darn." Rainbow Dash muttered as she took off to join Spitfire at the starting line.

Soarin shared a quick look with Tucker. "Okay just out of curiosity, what did you do to her?"

"She may have told me she loved me." Tucker said quietly.

"And then?" Soarin pushed.

"Let's just say I didn't exactly respond in a well thought out manner." Tucker replied nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

"I almost feel bad for you." Soarin said.

"Don't," Tucker said, now flying towards Spitfire.

"I said almost." Soarin chuckled to himself before following suit.

When Tucker landed on the cloud next to Rainbow Dash, Spitfire nodded and flew next to the first ring.

"There are twenty four rings that you need to pass through. Are you two ready?" Spitfire asked.

Rainbow Dash nodded and leaned forward. She unfurled her wings and quickly glanced at Tucker. Tucker yawned impassively and nodded.

"On my mark..." Spitfire started.

Tucker leaned forward and mimicked Rainbow Dash's position.

"Get set..." Spitfire said with a smile.

Tucker shot his hoof out to shake Rainbow Dash's hoof. Rainbow Dash stared at it and promptly grabbed it.

"Go!" Spitfire yelled.

Rainbow Dash pulled Tucker towards her and kicked him in the jaw. She then turned and started to fly full speed towards the first ring. Tucker quickly gained his footing and set off after her.

"What did he do to her?" Spitfire asked.

"Rainbow Dash said she loved him, he didn't say it back." Soarin replied quickly.

Spitfire looked at Tucker who was rubbing his chin as he flew. "Man, I almost feel bad for him."

"That's what I said." Soarin chuckled.

Rainbow Dash grabbed the first six flags in a matter of seconds, but the rest of the rings were scattered throughout the sky with no direct path to get through all of them. When Tucker grabbed the first set of flags he didn't hesitate to set off through the others. Rainbow Dash looked down and saw Tucker speeding towards her so she started to speed away.

"Listen, can we just talk?" Tucker asked loudly.

"We have nothing to talk about." Rainbow Dash snapped, though she hovered for a moment and allowed Tucker to fly up next to her. She proceeded to kick him in the chest, knocking the wind out of him.

"God dammit." Tucker muttered sourly. He looked down to see Rainbow Dash had already grabbed most of the flags from the rings. Pausing for a brief moment to catch his breath he surged towards the nearest ring and grabbed a flag. When he started towards the next flag a sharp whistling noise was made.

"Rainbow Dash gets one point." Spitfire yelled.

Tucker flew next to Spitfire and dropped his flags next to her.

"Better luck next time." Rainbow Dash smirked.

Tucker stared at Rainbow Dash reservedly and turned to Soarin, who was now standing next to Spitfire. "How many little contests are we going to have exactly?" Tucker asked curiously.

"I can't give you an exact number, all I will say is that we are just getting started." Soarin said.

"Great." Tucker muttered humorlessly.

Challenges

Rainbow Dash and Tucker were performing challenge after challenge for hours on end, each one proving to be even more difficult than the last. They kept taking turns winning until eventually they were both exhausted. Tucker was black and bluer from his attempts to talk to Rainbow Dash. After the most recent challenge Soarin flew up to Tucker.

"You guys are tied up with eleven points each." Soarin cheered.

"Fantastic." Tucker muttered, stopping on a nearby cloud for a quick breather.

"Let's wrap this up with one final challenge." Spitfire called out before flying in to the building and emerging with a rope.

"How the hell are you going to incorporate bondage in to a challenge?" Tucker asked curiously.

Spitfire smiled and shook her head. "It's for tug-o-war." Soarin laughed.

"I knew that." Tucker said.

"You really need to get your head out of the clouds." Rainbow Dash muttered quietly. “Or wherever else you may have stuck it...”

"Kind of hard to do judging from where we are." Tucker chuckled.

Rainbow Dash punched him in the back of the head but Tucker did nothing in return but shrug it off.

"Okay, the goal is to pull the rope away from the other as fast as you can. This is the final thing you are going to be doing, so all bets are off. Whoever brings the rope to us wins." Soarin called.

"We will be in the main building for when one of you gets it after the challenge has started." Spitfire continued. "Are you two ready?"

Rainbow Dash and Tucker both nodded.

"Great, then let's get this started." Spitfire said. "We'll do this one on a cloud so you have something to stand on. If you take your hooves off the cloud or cross the line you will be disqualified."

"Sounds good to me." Tucker groaned, rubbing his bruises.

"You going to be alright there Tucker?" Soarin asked. "You seem to be pretty bruised up."

"Pft, this shit is nothing. I'll spare you the details of what I do at night." Tucker chortled.

Soarin started to laugh but was cut short by Spitfire shushing him. Spitfire then flew to the cloud Tucker was sitting on and gave him one end. She quickly handed the other end to Rainbow Dash and she carved a line out of the cloud and motioned for Tucker to go to the other side.

"Ready?" Spitfire asked.

"Yeah" Tucker and Rainbow Dash said at the same time.

"Go!" Soarin yelled.

Tucker and Rainbow Dash instantly started pulling on the rope as Soarin and Spitfire made their way back inside the building. They were both exhausted from all the other things they did that day that neither of them could pull with their full strength, leaving them evenly matched. They were at it for a couple minutes before Tucker looked at Rainbow Dash and saw beads of sweat slithering down her face, revealing a harsh glare she was giving to Tucker. "What the fuck am I doing?"

Tucker loosened his grip on the cord and dropped it. Rainbow Dash stared curiously at Tucker and was about to question him.

"Wha-"

"You win." Tucker shrugged.

Tucker slowly flew away to the building on the cloud while Rainbow Dash stared at the rope in her hoof. He edgily walked up to the edge of the cloud and looked down at Ponyville. Rainbow Dash slowly flew behind to Tucker and sat next to him, unsure of what to say.

"Why did you give up?" Rainbow Dash asked quietly after a few minutes of silence.

Tucker shrugged and let out a wistful sigh.

"I guess I remembered that it has been your dream to join them, not mine." Tucker said with a weak laugh. "I just thought that if this is what will make you happy, who am I to get in the way of that?"

Rainbow Dash looked over his bruised body for a moment. She looked up to see Tucker gazing idly at her. Rainbow Dash was trying to think of something to say but she couldn't find the right words. After a few seconds of awkward eye contact, Tucker let out a small cough.

"Listen, I'm not good at this whole apologizing thing. I just want you to know that I know that I was- hell - I am an idiot." Tucker said quietly. "It's just that I've always thought of myself as a love maker, not a love giver and the truth is I didn't ever really think I would, in any way, shape, or form, be in a meaningful relationship. It wasn't that I was scared of the relationship, I was just surprised that you like me for me, and not for what I said about how great I am in bed. I guess what I want to say is I'm sorry. I really do like you, and I mean a lot, and I figured out too late that I kind of just want you to be happy. I even took all the shit you dished out because I guess I sort of do love you. I also want you to know that if you never want to see me again because we're both stubborn as fuck, so I can see you not wanting to talk to me."

Rainbow Dash shook her head and threw herself at him, embracing him. "Sorry, after you said idiot I sort of tuned you out." Rainbow Dash laughed weakly.

"Really? I said all that mushy shit for nothing?" Tucker asked.

"Well, all I really needed to hear was you calling yourself an idiot." Rainbow Dash snickered. "Plus that wasn't exactly mushy stuff you were saying back there. It sounded more like a half-thought-out excuse."

"You are, undeniably, a bitch, you know that?" Tucker muttered.

"You love it." Rainbow Dash quipped.

"Yeah. I guess I do." Tucker said, hugging Rainbow Dash even more tightly.

Rainbow Dash broke the embrace and looked around.

"How about we leave here and go back to my place." Rainbow Dash suggested.

"Bow chicka bow wow?" Tucker asked quickly with a raised brow.

Rainbow Dash laughed and kissed Tucker on his nose. "Before last night, I was thinking about it and felt that you were fourth base material, but now you're back to first." Rainbow Dash answered.

"It better be worth the wait then." Tucker laughed. "But can we make it second base? I feel like my dick receded inside my body in fear of me becoming a woman after that."

"Fine. But you owe me one." Rainbow Dash replied.

"Sounds good to me." Tucker chuckled.

Tucker proceeded to fly back with Rainbow Dash. Soarin and Spitfire emerged out of the building and Soarin poked Spitfire in the ribs.

"I don't want to say I told you he would find a way to talk himself out of it." Soarin whooped. "But I told you so."

"Maybe I should fire you and get them both back." Spitfire murmured.

Soarin started to chuckle but Spitfire just stared at him seriously. "Let's get back to work, shall we?" Soarin gulped.

"That would be the smart thing to do." Spitfire said with a leer.

Magic Practice

Spike descended the staircase to see Church flipping through the book with a stern look on his face. "What are you reading Church?" Spike asked quietly.

"A book on magic." Church replied.

"I didn't take you to be the kind of pony that would be in to the whole magic thing." Spike laughed.

"I just figured that I should try and learn how to use this magic stuff, but I just can't seem to be able to wrap my head around it." Church said.

"Oh, okay." Spike said. "Did you ask Twilight for help?"

"No, I'm trying to do this on my own. Plus I'm sure she has a lot of better things to do other than help me." Church replied quietly.

"Nah Twilight loves magic. I'm sure if you asked her she would jump at the chance to teach somepony." Spike chuckled. "She occasionally tries to teach me magic even though I can't do it."

"Maybe I'll ask her later, the stuff I'm reading may be a bit... trivial." Church admitted.

"Why would you say that?" Spike asked curiously.

Church flipped the book to show Spike the cover that read "Magic for Fillies". "Yeah, you're right that might be a little under her league, but I'm still sure she would like to help in some way." Spike said.

"Add the fact that it would be pretty embarrassing admitting that I can't even do the simplest of things." Church added.

"Yeah, I know that feeling of being left out." Spike said weakly.

"You have no idea what being left out is until you are surrounded by people who don't know how to do anything without complaining or fucking up." Church chuckled.

"That's true. And I hope I'll never get to experience that." Spike said with a laugh. "To be honest Church, I'm glad you're here. Before, the only ponies I would ever really talk to were the girls, so it's nice to have somepony that I can talk to about, y'know, stuff."

"I know that feeling, except replace girls with complete idiots." Church said.

Suddenly the door to the library swung open and Twilight walked in and sat next to Spike.

"Where did you go?" Spike asked.

"Fluttershy asked me to go over to her place to check on Grif's leg. She really seems to be worried about him." Twilight said distantly.

"I am too." Church said quietly, then started to laugh. "The entire time I've known him I have never seen him so much as lift a finger to help anybody. I was surprised when we had to go dig him out of that damn forest."

"So how do you guys even know each other?" Spike asked.

"I'll tell you later." Church promised. "I'm going to go back to learning how to do stuff with magic."

"I'd be glad to help you." Twilight said happily. She quickly turned away from Church and rubbed her foreleg as she felt the heat of a blush bloom on her face. "That is, if you want my help."

"I don't know, the book you gave me seems like it would be annoying for you to teach me." Church laughed. "Maybe I'm just an idiot when it comes to magic."

"You can't be expected to learn something new in a couple of minutes." Twilight said reassuringly.

Church simply shrugged and went back to reading. After a few more minutes he closed the book.

"I give up." Church muttered.

"Give me the book, I'll help you." Twilight said.

"Okay, but don't be mad if I can't get it." Church said.

"One of my idols Starswirl the Bearded once said 'a great teacher never gets mad at the student, but gets mad at themselves for they are the ones who failed the student'." Twilight said.

"Sounds like a smart guy." Church said with a swift nod.

"He's probably the smartest unicorn to have ever lived. My life's goal is to achieve what he has achieved in the field of magic and further his research into the unknown." Twilight said passionately.

"Well you're certainly not getting there any faster by stopping to help me." Church said with a laugh.

"He didn't just study twenty-four seven." Twilight said. "He also spent most of his days teaching others how to use and perfect their magical abilities. I would consider it an honor to teach you."

"Fine, you win." Church said, holding the book up. "If you really want to I guess you can-"

Twilight snagged the book from his hooves and opened it to the first page.

"Great, shall we get started?" Twilight asked with excitement.

Church shared a quick glance with Spike before turning back to Twilight, "sure."

"Maybe you should tell him what magic is before teaching him the spells, that might help." Spike suggested.

"Great idea Spike!" Twilight exclaimed before turning her focus to the book. "The first thing you need to know about magic is where it comes from..."

Church closed his eyes for a few seconds and counted to three.

"Have fun, I'm going to grab a bite to eat." Spike said quickly.

"Okay Spike, be careful." Twilight said, not paying attention to what Spike had said.

"Not. Cool." Church mouthed to Spike.

"Magic is an essence that lies dormant in every unicorn and alicorn." Twilight continued. "It continues to remain dormant until the owner focuses on it and tries to make it a reality. It takes an undetermined amount of time for unicorn fillies to find their latent abilities, but when they do, they are prone to have short, uncontrolled bursts of magic. However, since you are a full grown stallion and not a filly, you should be able to control that with little problem. Another thing that you should note is that unicorns are not as potent with magic as alicorns are."

"How much more powerful are we talking here?" Church asked, genuinely intrigued.

"Well take a look at the two princesses." Twilight said. "Celestia raises and sets the sun every day, and her sister Luna- have you met Luna?"

"No, but-"

"Well Luna has the ability to do the same with the moon." Twilight interrupted.

"Wait, really?" Church asked.

Twilight gave a brief nod. "Shall we continue?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, this is actually starting to sound pretty interesting." Church said honestly.

Encouragement

Encouragement

Spike came out of the kitchen with a yellow gem the size of Church's hoof.

"Where'd Twilight go?" Spike asked after looking around the room.

"She went to her room to grab something." Church answered.

Spike shrugged and took a bite out of the gem and sighed happily as he crunched it to bits.

"What are you eating?" Church asked.

"Quartz." Spike replied through the bits of gem in his mouth.

"Are you supposed to be eating that?" Church asked, raising his brow.

"Totally." Spike muffled through the gem in his mouth. "Dragons are supposed to eat gemstones."

"That is... pretty weird." Church laughed.

"Okay." Twilight said, coming back from her room. "I got a feather from Owlowiscious for you to practice on."

Twilight walked up to the table and put the books to one side and placed the feather in the middle of the table. She turned to Church and nodded slowly.

"So what am I supposed to do?" Church asked.

"Clear your mind. Focus on the feather." Twilight said. "Imagine yourself picking up the feather then try and project those thoughts at it."

"You make it sound easy." Church muddled.

"That's because it is easy, you just have to practice at it." Twilight bolstered.

"Okay." Church closed his eyes and started to push his thoughts to the back of his mind. Once he felt that his mind was sufficiently cleared he opened his eyes and looked at the feather.

"Come on you can do it Church." Twilight said excitedly.

"I'm trying." Church grunted in a strained voice.

"You just have to concentrate." Twilight pushed.

Church's horn started to glow faintly and the feather on the table shifted slightly to the left.

"I think I'm doing it!" Church exclaimed.

Church looked to the left to see Spike sitting on the edge, slowly blowing on the feather.

"Seriously?" Church groaned.

"Well it's just that you were trying so hard with no outcome that I wanted to make you feel like you accomplished something." Spike said.

"Spike!" Twilight yelled.

"Sorry Church." Spike said quickly. "I'm sure you will find your magic ability soon."

"Don't worry about it, I was getting nowhere fast anyways..." Church muttered. Church turned to Twilight and chuckled. "I probably will never get the hang of it anyways."

"Don't think like that, you just have to keep working at it." Twilight said softly.

"Yeah, you can totally do it!" Spike added.

"Thanks, but I think I'll stop trying for now." Church grunted.

Church walked to the other side of the table and looked through the other books. He stopped when he settled upon a book with an odd looking title. He opened it and started slowly flipping through the pages

"What is a draconequus?" Church asked quietly.

"Oh, that's the history book I put there." Twilight explained. "Draconequus are rare creatures - even rarer than alicorns - which have the head of a pony and a body comprised of an assortment of other animal parts."

"Uh huh. And who is Discord?" Church asked.

Spike stared uneasily at Twilight, but Twilight just kept staring at Church.

"Discord is one of Equestria’s greatest enemies. He is extremely powerful and enjoys nothing more than causing trouble." Twilight said quickly. "He is the element of chaos in our world and was once imprisoned in stone by the princesses when they held the Elements of Harmony, but when the Elements shifted in to me and the others, he was freed as the spell weakened. During the time he was free, he caused full-on chaos across Equestria until me and the girls stopped to him and put him back in his stone prison."

"Where is this stone prison of his?" Church asked.

"It is in the Canterlot gardens." Twilight replied. "It is visited regularly and protected by the Royal Guard."

"Can we go see it? I kind of want to see what this thing actually looks like." Church said.

"Maybe some other time." Twilight promised.

"Alright. So what else is there to do around here?" Church asked.

"That depends, what do you like to do?" Twilight asked.

"Not many things." Church laughed. "Maybe I should go check on Caboose."

"I'll come with you, I think I need to speak to Pinkie anyways." Twilight said, trotting up to the door. "Spike do you want to come? We might be able to get you a treat while we're there."

"Sounds awesome to me." Spike said, jumping up onto Twilight’s back. Twilight smiled and opened the door and looked over at Church. Church threw the book back onto the table and walked through the door.

Once they arrived at Sugar Cube Corner, Church went up to the door to open it, but it suddenly swung open to reveal Caboose standing in front of Church with a giant grin on his face. "Hello Church, may I interest you in some cookies?" Caboose yelled.

"Caboose can you use your inside voice please?" Church asked, groaning at the volume.

"I already am inside!" Caboose yelled once again.

Church threw his hoof over Caboose’s mouth and sighed. After a few seconds Church was satisfied that Caboose got the message and lowered his hoof.

"Sorry. I'm just so excited that Pinkie made some cookies that I was on my way to see you to ask you if you wanted any because I made them and they are good for your mouth." Caboose said.

"Sounds good to me." Spike laughed. "Where are they?"

"They are just coming out of the oven." Pinkie called from the kitchen.

"They are just coming out of the oven." Caboose yelled.

"Yeah, I think I got that already." Church said, rubbing his ears, trying to clear them of the verbal assault.

Pinkie came out of the kitchen, balancing a giant tray that was covered with dozens of cookies on her nose.

"They may need to cool down for a few minutes." Pinkie warned. "But once they are cooled they will be all ready to go in our tummies."

"I cannot wait to eat these cookies! They will be amazing!" Caboose said.

"They sure will!" Pinkie giggled.

"Hey Pinkie, can I see you in the kitchen for a minute?" Twilight asked.

"Why, do you want to bake some more cookies?" Pinkie asked.

"No, I just need to talk." Twilight replied.

"Okay." Pinkie said, hopping towards the kitchen.

"You wait here with Church and Caboose." Twilight said to Spike.

"Gladly." Spike said as he stared at the giant plate of cookies. "These look delicious."

"Thank you mister dragon!" Caboose said. "I helped make them."

"Well, here comes the indigestion." Church muttered to himself.

Fast Progress

"Alrighty, I can't wait!" Pinkie exclaimed as she hopped out of the kitchen with Twilight.

"Good, now I just have to go tell the others." Twilight said.

"What are you two talking about?" Church asked.

"I'll tell you later." Twilight replied quickly.

"Uh, okay then." Church said quietly.

"Are the cookies cold yet?" Caboose asked.

"I don't know are they?" Pinkie asked in return. In response, Caboose grabbed a couple cookies and tossed them into his mouth and gurgled happily. "I take it they are good." Pinkie giggled.

"Can I have one?" Spike asked.

Pinkie nodded and Spike repeated what Caboose had done.

"Something Caboose cooked didn't kill someone upon ingestion?" Church asked sarcastically.

"You should try one too Church!" Pinkie said happily.

Church opened his mouth to speak, but Pinkie tossed a cookie in to it. Church bit down in to it and was pleasantly surprised.

"This isn't half bad Caboose." Church said.

"What half is it?" Caboose asked through the chewed up cookies in his mouth.

"The good kind." Spike said.

"Are we allowed to be eating these? Shouldn't they be on sale here in the shop?" Church asked.

"Nope. The Cakes decided that they wanted to see if Caboose could bake so they could have more days off." Pinkie said. She grabbed a cookie and quickly ate it. "This was a test and I would say he passed with flying cookies!"

"Yay!" Caboose exclaimed after swallowing the cookies. "This is the first test I passed since kindergarten!"

"Well I think we should be on our way, I need to go talk to the other girls." Twilight said.

"Don't you want a cookie?" Caboose asked.

"No that's quite fine thank y-"

Twilight met Caboose's puppy dog eyes and sighed.

"Okay, I'll have one." Twilight said.

She trotted up to the plate, grabbed one and took a bite out of it.

"Aw, can't I stay and have some more?" Spike asked sadly.

"If Pinkie doesn't mind." Twilight replied.

"No problem Twi! We are going to be making some more treats and we could use a third party." Pinkie said happily.

"What about the other two parties?" Caboose asked.

"Are you coming Church or do you want to stay too?" Twilight asked.

"Since Caboose seems to be staying out of trouble I guess I'll come." Church replied.

"Great." Twilight smiled. "We'll come back and pick Spike up when we're done, okay Pinkie?"

"Okie dokie." Pinkie said.

"So whose place are we going to first?" Church asked.

"Well I already talked to Fluttershy while I was at her place, so I think we should go to Rarity since she’s the closest." Twilight replied.

"Sounds good to me." Church said.

Church and Twilight left Sugar Cube Corner and made their way to the Carousel Boutique. Once they arrived they walked through the door to see Simmons writing on a piece of paper.

"Oh hey Church. Hey Twilight. What are you guys doing here?" Simmons asked without turning to see them.

"I came to talk to Rarity, do you know where she is?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, she's up in her room." Simmons said.

"Is she working on something?" Twilight asked.

"No, I'm pretty sure she's just resting right now." Simmons answered. "Feel free to go up and see her."

"Thanks." Twilight said, starting towards the stairs.

"So what are you writing?" Church asked.

"Just making some notes." Simmons replied.

"Notes about what?" Church asked curiously.

"Well I have been using a lot of magic recently and I find myself managing to do more and more every day." Simmons said. "I'm trying to find out when I might start reaching my limit so I don't go over it."

"Wait, you can do magic?" Church said in disbelief.

"Yeah, it's really easy and Rarity said that I am making great progress." Simmons laughed.

"Really? I can't even do the simplest of things and you're already well off." Church muttered. "Do you think you could try and teach me?"

"Isn't Twilight supposed to be really good on the magical front?" Simmons asked. "That's what Rarity told me at least."

"Yeah she tried to teach me but we made no progress." Church said.

"Well I'm not exactly a master or anything. Plus I'm not exactly a teacher either." Simmons laughed.

"Couldn't hurt to try though." Church said.

Simmons shrugged and stopped writing on the paper.

"Alright I guess." Simmons said slowly. "The first thing you need to do is clear yo-"

"Clear my mind, Twilight already told me that." Church said. "What next?"

"Do you have a weird feeling in your horn?" Simmons asked.

"Well this is awkward..." Church grunted.

"That's not what I meant." Simmons muttered. "Do you have this heavy feeling on your forehead?"

"Yeah, I thought I was just starting to get a headache though." Church said.

"Well try and push that feeling towards your horn." Simmons started. "Once you feel it building up try to focus on this piece of paper and imagine yourself lifting it up."

Church nodded as Simmons placed a piece of paper on the table. Church stared at the paper and his horn started to glow faintly after a few seconds. Church started grunting as he felt the pressure build up in his horn and his horn started to glow brighter and brighter. Simmons stared slack jawed at Church.

"What are you looking at? It's not moving." Church grunted in a strained voice.

"Turn around." Simmons said quietly.

Church kept his mind on the paper as he turned around. There were dozens of things in the air. Chairs, clothes, drawers, and everything else behind him was surrounded by a light blue glow.

"What's going on?" Twilight asked from the top of the stairs, feeling a large magical presence in the room.

Church lost all focus on the paper and everything fell to the ground. Church suddenly had all the released energy rush back into his head and he fell to the ground in pain.

"Church!" Twilight yelled, running down the stairs. "Are you okay?"

"Holy fuck my head is killing me." Church said, gritting his teeth.

"Just calm down. What did you do?" Twilight asked slowly.

"He asked me to try and show him how to use magic, but his magic seems to have missed the target and hit basically everything else in the room." Simmons said.

"Just like the old days." Church chuckled through the pain that continued to build up. "I think it's getting worse."

"You were lifting a lot of objects." Simmons noted. "I had a migraine for an hour after lifting about ten pounds of letters, and you were lifting possibly over a thousand pounds."

"Hold still." Twilight said.

Twilight slowly lowered her horn to Church's forehead and it started to glow. Twilight made a small grunt and Church felt the pounding in his head significantly lessened.

"What did you do?" Church asked.

"I absorbed some of the pain." Twilight cringed. "I'm used to that feeling after using magic for so long, but you had a lot more of it than I thought. I didn't manage to dissipate the pain completely, but you should be a lot better off now. Simmons do you mind getting me a glass of water?"

"Sure." Simmons said, quickly leaving to get her the drink.

"You didn't have to do that." Church said.

"Nonsense, that's what are friends are for." Twilight chuckled weakly.

"Thanks." Church said quietly. "Are you sure you're going to be okay?"

"Yes, I just need to rest for a few minutes." Twilight said. "After that our next stop is Sweet Apple Acres."

"Sounds good to me." Church said with a smile.

Unexpected Help

Simmons came back with a glass of water to where Twilight was sitting, which she quickly grabbed from him and promptly took a small sip.

"Thank you very much." Twilight said quietly.

"No problem." Simmons said.

"Simmons, would you be a dear and come up here?" Rarity called from her room.

"Sure." Simmons called back. He turned to Twilight and nodded. "Do you need anything else?"

"No, that's okay." Twilight answered. "Rarity will need a lot of help with what she’s doing."

"Alright then." Simmons said as he made his way up the stairs.

"What exactly is she doing?" Church asked.

"I'll tell you once we're done telling the others." Twilight said happily.

Church decided not to press the matter any further. Twilight suddenly gasped and started to rub her temples.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Church asked with concern.

"I... yes." Twilight said quietly.

Church stared at her until she looked up and gave a weak smile.

"Let's get going. We still have two more stops to make before we’re done." Twilight said, struggling to stand back up. Church helped her regain her footing and she smiled.

"Okay, something went wrong." Church said. "We really should get you to a-"

"I'm fine." Twilight insisted, starting towards the door.

"Okay then..." Church muttered. Church and Twilight made their way to Sweet Apple Acres in total silence, only interrupted by the occasional gasp of pain from Twilight. Church grew more and more concerned every time she gasped, but every time he tried to talk to her she insisted she was fine.

They arrived at the gate to see Big Mac sleeping under a tree with a bit of straw jutting out of his mouth. "Hello Big Mac." Twilight greeted.

"Afternoon." Big Mac yawned.

"Is Applejack around?" Twilight asked.

"Eeyup." Big Mac grunted, looking over at the house.

"Thank you." Twilight said quietly.

Big Mac gave a curt nod and dozed back off. Church followed Twilight up to the door of the house which opened before Twilight had a chance to knock.

"Howdy there youngin's." Granny Smith said. "What kin I do fer ya on this fine day?"

"Hello Mrs. Smith, do you know where Applejack is?" Twilight said.

"She's up in ‘er room, you kin make yer way up the stairs." Granny Smith said.

"Church you stay down here while I go talk to Appleja-" Twilight started, but fell on her front knees and grunted.

Church quickly went by her side and looked her over.

"Is she okay?" Granny Smith asked worriedly. "I'll go git 'er some of mah apple tea."

"Okay, you are not fine." Church preed. "You must have gotten something else from my head."

"I didn't think I di-" Twilight started but saw Church's worried expression. She sighed deeply. "It's just that when you told me about all you've been through I thought maybe I could take some of that pain away too."

"Why would you do that?" Church asked firmly. "What I've been through drove me crazy, what did you think would happen if you tried to take some of that away from me?"

Twilight started to speak but Church's horn started to glow brightly as he placed it on her forehead. Church focused on the pain in her head and took it back and he fell back as the pain came back to him in a sudden rush. Twilight looked at Church who was giving her a hard glare. "Not only was that stupid of you, but it was an invasion of my privacy." Church grunted.

"I'm sorry." Twilight said. "I just wanted to help."

"Next time ask me before you do anything to my mind." Church muttered.

Twilight broke eye contact as Granny Smith came back to the room with a tray that held a single cup on it.

"This should git rid of that there headache right quick." Granny Smith said.

"Thank you for your concern, but I'm feeling better now." Twilight said quietly. "I'll go talk to Applejack."

"Wouldja like some tea, er, what was yer name again?" Granny Smith asked.

"My name's Church." Church said. "And I'm going to have to say no to the tea, but thanks anyways."

"Alrighty, if ya be needin’ anythin' at all, I'll be in the next room over." Granny Smith said.

Church nodded but decided to stay where he was while he waited for Twilight. He felt bad for snapping at Twilight like that because he knew she was only trying to help.

After what seemed to be an hour, Sarge came in to the room from the front door and saw Church. "Blue." Sarge nodded.

"Sarge." Church nodded back.

"What are you doing here?" Sarge asked.

"Twilight needed to talk to all of her friends and she won't tell me why." Church replied.

"I see." Sarge grunted. "And what was with that yelling I heard earlier?"

"You heard that, huh?" Church asked.

"Hard not to." Sarge said.

"Well don't worry about it, I was just angry at nothing." Church said quietly.

"Business as usual for the blues then?" Sarge asked with a small laugh.

"Pretty much." Church replied.

Sarge left the room and made his way up the stairs to see Twilight coming out of Applejack's room.

"Twilight." Sarge said with a nod.

"Hello Sarge." Twilight said quietly.

"You okay?" Sarge asked.

"I think so." Twilight said.

Sarge looked at Twilight and let out a small cough. "I know it's none of my business, but that blue has been through hell and back twice over." Sarge said quietly. "He's still not used to people actually trying to help him rather than kill him - me included - so don't let what he says when he's angry get to you."

"Thank you." Twilight said with a smile.

"Don't mention it." Sarge grunted. "Don't tell him I said that, okay?"

"I have a feeling he wouldn't believe it even if I told him." Twilight said.

"Glad to hear it." Sarge chuckled.

Twilight came back down the stairs and made her way to Church. "We're done here, I just need to stop at Rainbow Dash's place and if you don't want to come with me, I understand." Twilight said.

"No, I'll come." Church said. Twilight nodded and made her way to the door but Church stopped her. "Listen, I'm sorry I talked to you like that, I know you were just trying to ease the pain. You have to understand that I've been living with this shit my entire life and there is a reason it drove me crazy you know. I just don't want to see you to get hurt on my behalf."

"That's okay, I should have asked if it was okay with you before doing it." Twilight laughed weakly.

"So we're good?" Church asked.

"We're good." Twilight nodded. "One more stop then I can tell you what you want to know."

"Alright." Church said as he opened the door.

Deep In Thought

"Do you think Tucker apologized to Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked as they made their way past Big Mac.

"Knowing Tucker either of two things have happened. The first one being that he said he was sorry and Rainbow Dash and she forgave him. The second thing being that Rainbow Dash killed him." Church said and followed with chuckle. "And with any luck it is the latter."

"You would think after being teammates for so long you would have made a connection of some kind." Twilight said.

"I've made connections alright, but I can't say any of them are good." Church chuckled.

Twilight and Church arrived at Rainbow Dash's home, where they could hear some talking coming from the inside. "Rainbow Dash, are you up there?" Twilight yelled after a couple of seconds.

After a few seconds Rainbow Dash peered her head through the door and looked down. "Yeah, how's it going Twi?" Rainbow Dash replied.

"It's going well, do you mind if I come up to talk to you in private?" Twilight asked.

"Sure, hang on a sec." Rainbow Dash said before disappearing back inside to talk to Tucker.

"Why do I have to go out there?" Tucker said.

"Because Twilight wants to talk."

"But we just got back." Tucker groaned. "I want some rest after what we've done today."

"I know, I promise I'll make it as quick as possible then you can have your little rest you big baby." Rainbow Dash said with a smile.

Tucker flew out a few seconds later and nodded at Twilight who teleported to the inside of Rainbow Dash's home.

"So you managed to patch things up with her?" Church asked. "That's pretty surprising."

"What can I say? I am the ultimate ladies man after all." Tucker said with a smirk. "Well I guess now that's ponies stallion, but you know what I mean."

"Judging by the black shit, I would’ve guess you've been through a teleporter." Church noted as he saw Tucker's bruised body.

"I guess you’re right." Tucker laughed. "This is nothing though, I've had a lot rougher nights. Did I ever tell you about that one time I-"

"Yeah I really don't want to hear it." Church interrupted quickly.

Tucker and Church fell into a small lapse of silence.

"Any idea what they're talking about up there?" Tucker asked after a few seconds.

"No, Twilight refuses to tell me until she's done up there."

"You're not suspicious?" Tucker asked with surprise.

"Why would I be?"

"Usually you're wary of anything that comes your way."

"I don't know." Church shrugged. "I guess I trust her, though she may have lowered that trust half an hour ago."

"Why is that?"

"Well I managed to use my magic but it sort of backfired and I used too much juice so I started to get a huge fucking migraine. Twilight used her magic to take it away."

"So you don't trust her for that?"

"No, I appreciated what she did. What I didn't really appreciate was the fact that she delved deeper than just the migraine." Church said, lapsing into silence once again.

"So are you just going to stand there or are you actually going to tell me?"

"You know how when I was the Alpha I was forced to go crazy and split into the other fragments?" Church asked, to which Tucker replied with a nod. "Well she tried to take some of that pain away and it started to hurt her so I took it away before it drove her to insanity like it did to me."

"So you trust her slightly less because she wanted to do as much as she could to help you? That's cold dude."

"I don't want her to kill herself on my part." Church muttered.

At that moment Rainbow Dash burst through the door with a terrified expression.

"Church! Tucker! Get up here! Something happened to Twilight." Rainbow Dash yelled before rushing back in.

Tucker started flying up to the house but turned back down to Church.

"Why are you just standing there?" Tucker exclaimed

"I don't know if you've noticed but I don't have any fucking wings."

Tucker groaned and flew back down, picked up Church, and flew up the house as quickly as possible. Tucker dropped Church on the solid floor of the house and they both ran up to Twilight, who was on the ground with a pale face, seemingly devoid of life.

"What happened?" Church asked hurriedly.

"I don't know. We were just talking and she suddenly fell on the floor." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"I think you might not have gotten all that pain back." Tucker said quietly.

"Is she okay?" Rainbow Dash asked. "She isn't..."

"Don't worry, she's alive." Church said as he felt her heartbeat.

Church stared at Twilight for a few seconds and quickly thought of what he was going to do.

"Hold her still." Church said quietly.

"What are you going to do?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'm going in." Church grunted. "I need to find her in there if I am to help her."

"What are you-"

Church suddenly collapsed to the floor and Rainbow Dash started to scream, but soon a faint image of Church was standing over his body.

"What the..." Rainbow Dash gasped in disbelief.

Church turned to Twilight and walked up to her body. He closed his eyes and turned in to a puff of smoke that surrounded Twilight for a couple seconds before being absorbed in to her head. Church reopened his eyes to find himself in a maze of books and other parchments. Without hesitating, Church set off to find Twilight in her mind. He walked for half an hour with no luck, every turn he made seemed to bring him back to where he started. He decided that walking was not going to work so he had to try something else.

"Twilight?" Church yelled.

"Church? Church is that you?" A voice called back, but it wasn't the voice of Twilight, but rather a voice he thought he would never hear again.

Church stumbled back and slammed into a wall of books, his vision dazed as a number of books fell all around him. He concentrated for what seemed like an eternity to regain his footing. Finally he looked back up and with a raspy voice he called out one word, or rather one name. A name that stung him as he said it.

"Tex?"

Options

"Tex?" Church repeated loudly.

This time nobody replied. "Must have just been hearing things." Church muttered.

Church kept walking forward trying to find Twilight.

"Why are you here?" Church heard from a far, placing the voice instantly as Twilight.

"I was hoping you could tell me." Another voice said, this time Church knew he was not hearing things. It was Tex.

"Tex? Twilight? Where are you?" Church yelled, but no answer was given.

Over in the epicenter of Twilight's mind, Tex was standing a few meters away from Twilight. "Are you... Tex?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah, who the hell are you?" Tex asked angrily.

"You're a lot angrier than Church made you out to be." Twilight said quietly.

"Wait, you know Church?" Tex asked with a mixture of her usual anger and confusion.

"Yes he is a new friend." Twilight said. "He told me a lot about you."

"Good things?"

"Not really." Twilight admitted.

"That's the Church I know alright." Tex grunted. "So how did I get here?"

"Well he started suffering a lot of pain in his head, so I went in and took out some of that pain and it seems I also took you along with it."

"How thoughtful." Tex said sarcastically. Tex started to advance on Twilight.

"What are you doing?" Twilight asked nervously.

"Grabbing me a new body." Tex said hollowly.

Church was frozen in place as he listened to the conversation that was happening. Suddenly Church heard a small explosion and a flash of purple further along the path he was taking. He rushed forward and turned to find himself in a large open area where two figures were fighting atop a pile of books. The first figure was Twilight, horn glowing brightly, the other was Tex, who was dodging blasts of magic.

"What the fuck is going on?" Church asked.

Twilight's head snapped to Church. Tex immediately took advantage of the distraction and knocked out Twilight with a punch to the back of her head.

"What the hell are you doing here Tex?" Church had still not fully grasped what was happening before him when Tex turned to him and stared at him silently for the briefest of moments.

"Is that you Church?" Tex asked with a tone of surprise. "Can't say much for your new body. But it's good to see you again."

"I can't say the same. What the hell did you do to her?"

"I knocked her out. I plan on taking control of her body, it seems to be more powerful than mine."

Tex slowly started to walk towards Twilight but Church stepped in front of her.

"That isn't fair Tex, you know that." Church grunted.

"Screw fair. I have a chance to get a new body and I'm going to take it." Tex chuckled. Tex turned to Twilight and started to make her way towards her. "I just need to take her out of the picture."

Church threw his body at Tex and tackled her to the ground.

"I can't let you do this Tex." Church grunted as he pinned her to the ground.

"Oh? And what are you going to do to stop me?" Tex said before throwing Church off of her.

Church slammed in to another wall of books and fell to the ground. He quickly got up to see Tex's hand around Twilight's neck. Tex suddenly got surrounded by a light blue cloak and flew in to a wall.

"I'm not going to let you kill her." Church muttered.

"You aren't much of a fighter Church, do you honestly think you can beat me?" Tex laughed.

"No, but I can sure as hell try." Church exclaimed.

Church charged at Tex with the intent of knocking her to the ground. Tex tried to dive to the side, but Church still managed to clip her, knocking her down for a brief moment. Twilight slowly opened her eyes, but did not move. Instead she stared silently at the pair.

"You're really trying to stop me for her?" Tex asked with mild surprise. "And here I thought that you loved me."

"So far she's been better to me than you ever have." Church said quietly as he stared at Twilight, then he turned to Tex and rose his voice. "I choose for her to be my friend, I didn't choose to love you. I’ve finally discovered our love for what it is. Mechanical, surreal. Something fabricated, not earned and you knew that, that's why you refused to love me back."

Church lunged at Tex again, but Tex was even faster this time. She grabbed his horn and kneed him in the throat. Church made a vicious choking sound but Tex did not let up. She continued hitting him in the throat until she was satisfied he would not get up.

"Maybe taking you out of the picture would be the best way to move on." Tex said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean by that? Are you going to kill me?" Church scoffed. "You'll just end up killing yourself."

Tex did not reply, but rather stared at him, presumably glaring at him.

"Now I'm going to give you two options here. The first one being that you try to walk over to Twilight and I will do all in my power to stop you which will probably end in me being killed, which in turn will probably kill you."

"But do you know for sure?" Tex challenged.

"Would you really want to risk it?"

"What's the second option."

"The second option is that you come back in my head where you survive to some degree and I will live with it."

"Those options don't really seem fair."

"Like you said, screw fair. What's it going to be Tex?"

"You're a lot different than I remember." Tex said quietly. "Have it your way, I'll give you this one as a favor but you owe me one thing in return."

"Name it." Church replied firmly.

"Hit that yellow asshat in the balls for me." Tex said instantly.

"What is your problem with his balls?" Church said, covering a slight chuckle.

"He just pisses me off."

"That's understandable." Church nodded thoughtfully. "Deal."

Outside of Twilight's body, Rainbow Dash was staring silently at Church, still trying to comprehend what had just happened. Twilight's eyes then snapped open and she groaned lightly.

"Thank Celestia you're alright." Rainbow Dash said happily.

Twilight's eyes drifted over to where Church was laying. Before Twilight could ask any questions Church appeared next to her and went back in to his own body.

"What are you?" Rainbow Dash asked quietly.

"Want the long answer or the short answer?" Church asked.

"I think the short one should be good for now." Twilight said.

"I'm a mother-fucking ghost." Church said with a shrug.

Reasons

"You're... a ghost?" Rainbow Dash asked skeptically.

"No, that's just the easy way of explaining it." Church replied.

"So what did you do then?"

"Do you really want to know or are you just thinking out loud?"

"A little bit from column a, a little bit from column b."

"Then I'll just leave it as I solved the problem." Church said more harshly than he meant to. "Not much use going into any further detail."

"Okay then. I didn't mean to offend you or anything so..." Rainbow Dash said.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make it sound that way." Church said slowly.

"Don't worry, Church is always angry." Tucker said. "Like when he is happy he is slightly less angry than usual. And when he is mildly annoyed he becomes this sort of mopey angry."

"Fuck you. I'm not always angry." Church grunted.

"See?" Tucker chuckled. "Mopey angry, right on cue."

Church glared at Tucker for a few seconds before Twilight walked in front of him. "Let's teleport back to Sugar Cube Corner and pick up Spike." Twilight said. "We'll walk the rest of the way back to the library and we can relax."

"Mind doing that for me too?" Church asked quickly. "I don't know if you've noticed, but my aim isn't the greatest and I would appreciate not ending up halfway through a wall." Twilight nodded and closed her eyes. Her horn glowed briefly and they reappeared in front of Sugar Cube Corner. "Thanks for getting me out of there." Church muttered. "Tucker was starting to get on my nerves."

"I'm beginning to see why you two have a strained relationship." Twilight said.

"Good to know I'm not just imagining it." Church chuckled.

Twilight knocked on the door and Pinkie opened it with a big smile. "Heya Twilight!"

"Hey Pinkie, we're here to pick up Spike then we'll be out of your hair."

"You would have to be in my hair to get out of it first silly." Pinkie giggled. "Come on in." Twilight nodded and went in to the room being followed by Church.

Church looked across the room and saw Caboose laying on the ground with a trail of crumbs around him. Church smiled loosely but quickly shook it off.

"Where is Spike?" Twilight asked.

"He was here a few seconds ago." Pinkie said with mild confusion.

Before Twilight could call his name, they saw a small purple arm shoot out from under Caboose and wave violently. Church ran up to Caboose and pulled Spike out from under Caboose. "Thank... you..." Spike gasped.

"How the hell did you get under him?" Church asked.

"Well there was one cookie left and both of us wanted it so we kind of tried to take it from each other."

"You know he is way bigger than you, right?" Church said, raising an eyebrow

"Yeah but the cookie looked so good." Spike said, rubbing his belly.

"I'll take your word for it." Church broke into a smile.

"Can we go back home now?" Spike yawned. "I'm feeling really tired."

Twilight nodded and walked up to Spike who quickly jumped on her back.

"Thanks for looking after him Pinkie."

"No problemo Twi!" Pinkie said. "I should probably get Boosey up too."

"Keep him out of trouble." Church said.

"Caboose could never cause trouble, just look at him." Pinkie said innocently.

Church looked over at Caboose who gurgled happily as more crumbs fell off of his chest.

"You're right, there is no way he could cause trouble." Church said sarcastically.

"We should get going, we need to give Spike some rest."

"But it's the middle of the day." Spike said quietly.

"Alrighty." Pinkie said. "Come on Boosey, wake up."

"But the ground is so comfy." Caboose yawned.

Once Twilight, Church and Spike made their way back to the library, Twilight brought Spike to her room where he quickly dozed off. She came back downstairs to see Church sitting at the table, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Spike must have been really tired, he fell asleep right when I put him to bed." Twilight said quietly.

"He had a lot of sugar back there so he's probably just having a sugar crash." Church said quietly as he continued rubbing his neck.

"Probably." Twilight said quietly. "Church I just want to say thank you for doing what you did."

"Don't mention it." Church grunted dismissively.

"No, I do need to mention it. I can't even begin to comprehend how much it must hurt you to have done that."

"You know, even though that I haven't known you for long, I already see you as more of a friend than anybody else I've met. I'm not going to let her kill the only person that I can actually talk to without having to explain every damn thing as slowly as I can, because that would leave me with Caboose and Tucker again and that would fucking suck."

"Well I'm glad you feel that way." Twilight said.

"So, uh, do you mind telling me what you were going to the others places for?" Church asked.

"Oh right, I nearly forgot." Twilight said. "My brother is getting married soon and I was wondering if you would want to come. It might even be a good thing to do given all that's happened in the past little while. It’ll allow us to unwind a little bit."

Church shrugged slowly. "Weddings aren't exactly my thing."

"Come on, what isn't there to love about weddings?" Twilight asked. "There's music, good friends, great food, fu-"

"Tex and I were supposed to get married." Church interrupted quietly.

"Sorry I didn't mean to bring her up." Twilight said with a frown.

"I know." Church sighed. "I just wish I knew why forgetting her isn't an option."

"Well you are the aspect of... the Alpha was it, that used to be his memory." Twilight said with a small laugh. "I can imagine it being difficult to forget things when that is who you are."

"Yeah." Church replied simply. "Who is he getting married to?"

"Kind of a silly question when you barely know anypony in this world." Twilight chuckled lightly.

"That's true." Church chuckled with her.

"Her name is Princess Mi Adore Cadenza." Twilight said.

"Have you met her before?"

"No, this is the first time I've heard of her."

"Aren't you a little mad that you never even got to meet his fiance before he decided to marry her?"

"A bit." Twilight admitted. "But it's going to be a royal wedding."

"That sort of sounds like it would be a big deal."

"It is." Twilight agreed. "It has been quite a while since there has been a royal wedding and I'm glad to be a part of it."

"I know your brother is the one getting married, but what do you mean by a part of it?" Church asked.

"Me and the other girls are going to be bridesmaids. That's what I went to go talk to them about. So are you interested in coming?"

"Sounds good. Beats sitting around all day."

"Great." Twilight said happily. "I assume the girls will ask the others as well."

Church paused and shivered violently.

"What is it Church?" Twilight asked.

"I don't know, I just have a bad feeling about it." Church said.

Mixed Signals

"I'm sure you're just overreacting." Twilight said.

"It wouldn't be the first time." Church chuckled. He then got off the chair and made his way over to the door. "Now that that's settled..."

"Where are you going?" Twilight asked.

"It would be better if you didn't know." Church laughed. "Which way is Fluttershy's place again? I need to pay her a quick visit."

"Well we just got back, but I can just take you there you want."

"No, that's okay just some directions would be great if you wouldn't mind." Church said. "I need to talk to Grif in a completely respectful and tolerant manner."

Twilight knew what he was going there to do. She had been conscious when Tex made the request, but she gave the directions to Church anyways. Over at Fluttershy's cottage Grif was looking around for Fluttershy who seemed to be missing.

"Fluttershy where are you?" Grif asked. "You can't still be feeling bad about me being part tree. Twilight said I was fine, remember?"

Grif got no answer from Fluttershy. Instead, Angel came down the stairs and stood in front of him, tapping his foot.

"Hey buddy, do you know where she is?"

Angel continued tapping his foot but waved his paws in front of his face.

"I'm not following." Grif grunted. "Is she here or not?" Angel facepawed and pretended to write on a piece of paper, then made a folding motion. Angel followed that up by making an opening motion, followed by placing the invisible paper in it. Angel then licked the air and pressed his paws together.

"Yeah I still don't get it. All I'm getting is she is licking something and I don't think I want to know the details." Angel gave a small sigh and tapped his arm.

"Something to do with time?" Angel smiled and nodded quickly. Angel made a rectangle shape and made a flat v shape in that rectangle.

"Um. Envelope?" Angel smiled wildly and started some other motion.

However, Grif lost all focus as someone knocked on the door. He opened it slowly to see Church standing there with a look that was a mix of guilt and glee.

"Hi Church... what are you doing here?" Grif asked nervously.

"Apologizing in advance."

"Apologizing in advance for what?" Instead of receiving a reply, Grif received a quick kick to the balls.

"Son of a bitch!" Grif cried as he fell to the ground cradling his crotch.

"Sorry, just had a favor that I had to settle." Church shrugged.

"Fuck you!" Grif yelled weakly. "You could have at least fucking warned me. God damn it."

"Nothing can prepare you for a nut shot. You should know that already after, well, you kn-"

"Fucking hell." Grif muttered as he shakily rose off the floor. "I guess you're right, but still. Who the fuck wanted you to kick me in the balls?"

"Don't worry about it." Church said. "Where is Fluttershy?"

"I don't know, she has been acting weird ever since Twilight came by earlier." Grif coughed.

"So she didn't invite you yet?"

"No, invite me to what?" Grif asked idly.

"Twilight's brother is getting married to some princess or another and the girls have been invited. I think the girls are supposed to invite us individually or something."

"Why would she not just tell me?"

"Beats me. Maybe it's some sort of custom in this place. It's also possible she just doesn't want to go to the wedding with you because you're a lazy sack of shit."

"Fuck you." Grif said, turning to limp away. "Now if you don't mind I need to go find something cold."

"Get better soon." Church chuckled as he closed the door to Fluttershy's cottage before making his way back towards Twilight's home.

"I'll get you back for that, you asshole." Grif muttered under his breath. He turned to Angel who was watching him curiously. "You could have just told me that."

Angel gave an unimpressed look and hopped up the stairs. Grif limped to the kitchen and started looking for something to ease the pain. "Where does she keep some damn painkillers?"

Grif heard hooves on wood. He looked out of the kitchen to see Fluttershy slowly walking down the stairs.

"Hey Fluttershy, do you have something to make me feel as if I haven't been run over by a train?"

Fluttershy nearly jumped out of her skin when Grif talked. She looked Grif over and saw that he was cringing. She nodded quickly and made her way to the kitchen and started looking through the cabinets.

"Thanks. This feels worse than the damn infection." Grif laughed.

"What happened?" Fluttershy asked without turning.

"Church stopped by and gave me a nice gift." Grif muttered sarcastically.

Fluttershy was about to question him on the matter but put two and two together, so she simply continued looking.

"So what was this about an invitation to a wedding?" Grif asked. "Church mentioned it and said that-"

Fluttershy's cheeks went a deep shade of crimson red and she continued looking through drawers with haste. This made Grif lose his train of thought and he stared at Fluttershy quietly. "Did I piss you off or something?"

"No it's not that." Fluttershy peeped as she opened a cabinet.

"You're confusing me a bit here. First you treat me awesomely after I saved your bunny, now I feel like you're ignoring me. What's the deal?"

Fluttershy gave no reply and avoided eye contact.

"Do you hate me or something?"

"No... it's just I've never invited any stallion to do anything with me." Fluttershy said, shrinking her appearance. "I was embarrassed."

"And?" Grif pushed lightly.

"Well I didn't want to put you in any situation you would not feel comfortable in either."

"We're friends or something, right?" Fluttershy nodded slowly. "Then yeah, you shouldn't think of this as a date or whatever you're thinking of this as. Treat it like it's just you asking any of your other friends to hang out."

"Okay. Here goes nothing." Fluttershy gulped. "Um, Grif? I was just wondering... if you would like, that is if you don't mind, to... come with me to a wedding?"

"Nah. I'm good." Grif said quickly.

"Oh." Fluttershy said sadly. "Okay... sorry for bothering you."

"That was a joke." Grif said. "Think there will be good food there?"

"I would think so."

"Then I'll go." Grif laughed.

"Really?" Fluttershy asked with a big smile.

"Yeah. You haven't tried to kill me yet so I'd say I owe you one." Grif smiled.

"Thank you so much." Fluttershy said.

Fluttershy gave some painkillers and hugged Grif tightly. She then trotted happily back to her room.

"You're... welcome?" Grif said quietly. "That was fucking weird."

Wedding - Reveal

Everypony had gathered and boarded the train to make their way to Canterlot just hours after the sun had risen the next morning.

"A sonic rainboom. At a wedding." Rainbow Dash said slowly. "Can you say best wedding ever?"

"Best wedding ever!" Caboose and Pinkie yelled in unison.

"So you all get to help with a big fancy wedding, but I'm the one that gets to host the bachelor party." Spike said smugly. "I have one question. What's a bachelor party?"

Everypony laughed at Spike. Everypony except for Tucker who had a wide smile on his face.

"Bachelor parties are probably the coolest kind of parties you can go to." Tucker laughed.

"Really?" Spike asked. "Do you think you could tell me more about them."

"Fuck yeah little dude." Tucker laughed.

Church walked up to Applejack and coughed lightly.

"Hey there Church. What kin ah do ya for?" Applejack asked with a wide smile.

"Twilight seems a little dejected." Church said quietly. Applejack looked over to where Twilight was gazing out the window. "Do you think you can talk to her?"

"Ah think ah kin do that." Applejack nodded. Applejack and Church slowly walked up to Twilight who was sitting completely still as she gazed out the window sorrowfully. "And why th' long face sugarcube?" Applejack asked.

"I'm just thinking about Shining Armor." Twilight said sadly. "Ever since I moved to Ponyville we've been seeing each other less and less. And now that he's starting a new family with this Princess Mi Amore Cal-whatshername we'll probably never see each other."

"Come on now, yer his sister. He'll always make time for ya."

"He couldn't seem to make time to tell me he was getting married." Twilight said angrily as she closed the blinds on the window with her magic.

"Relationships can be stressful, try not to hold it against him." Church said.

Twilight nodded but said nothing as the train rounded a corner to be faced with Canterlot.

"We're here! We're here!" Pinkie exclaimed with joy.

"Are we there yet?" Caboose asked.

Before anypony answered the train passed through a large pink bubble and everypony suddenly froze, shocked by the sensation.

"What the hell was that?" Grif asked quietly.

Nopony answered as they had all been thinking the same thing. The train stopped at the station and the doors shot open. Applejack and Rainbow Dash peered their heads out of the cart and looked around.

"Woah. What's with all the guards?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"They're probably just taking necessary precautions." Simmons said. "This wedding is sounding like it is kind of a big deal."

"Royal weddings do bring about the strangest ponies." Rarity agreed.

Pinkie started to inhaled sharply, as if startled, and everypony turned to Pinkie. Pinkie sneezed loudly as streamers and confetti shot out of her nose. She smiled and trotted off the train happily as everypony continued to stare at her.

"Now let's get going." Rarity said, starting to walk with Pinkie. "We have work to do."

"An' you've got a big brother t' go congratulate" Applejack said to Twilight.

"Yeah. Congratulate." Twilight muttered as she walked past the Royal Guard. "And then give him a piece of my mind."

Everypony stared curiously at her as she kept walking.

"What's with her?" Tucker asked.

"She's just a little pissed that her brother didn't see her in person about the wedding." Church explained. "Let's go, you girls have work to do."

Twilight trotted quickly towards the barracks, where a white stallion adorned with the purple embroidered armor of a Captain of the Royal Guard was directing his subordinates.

"I've got something to say to you mister." Twilight exclaimed.

The Royal Guards nearest to the wall rushed up to it and placed spears in a defensive position, prepared to attack the interloper. The white stallion peered over the wall, took off his helmet and smiled.

"Twily! I missed you kid. How was the train ride?" Shining Armor exclaimed with happiness. "I-"

"How dare you not tell me in person that you were getting married!" Twilight said abrasively. "I'm your sister for pony’s sake!" Twilight turned her head to avoid eye contact with her brother.

"It's not my fault. Princess Celestia has requested a major increase in security. Didn't you see all the guards at the train station?" Shining Armor asked.

"Yeah, there's a big wedding coming up." Twilight said, trotting away from her brother. "Maybe you've heard about it?"

"It has nothing to do with the wedding. A threat has been made against Canterlot. We don't know who is responsible for it, but Princess Celestia asked that I help provide additional protection." Shining Armor explained. He raised Twilight's chin with his hoof and smiled. "This you need to see."

Shining Armor slowly backed up and his horn started glowing extremely brightly. A beam shot out of his horn and up to the bright bubble. When it made contact with the bubble, it pulsated a couple times as the pink darkened in a wave across the surface, and Shining Armor rubbed the side of his head in pain. "The burden of keeping Canterlot safe rests squarely on my shoulders. Staying focused on the task at hand has been my top priority."

"Okay okay I get it. you've got a really important job protecting all of Canterlot with a force field only you can conjure up. But still, how could you not tell me about something as big as your wedding?" Twilight asked sadly as she followed Shining Armor up onto a bridge overlooking the courtyard. She turned to him slowly with a frown on her face. "Am I not that important to you anymore?"

"Hey, you're my little sister. Of course you're important to me." Shining Armor said, putting his hoof on Twilight. He turned away and smiled coyly. "But I would understand if you didn't want to be my best mare now."

"You want me to be your best mare?" Twilight asked excitedly.

"Well, yeah."

"I would be honored." Twilight said happily.

Shining Armor walked up to Twilight and hugged her.

"But I'm still pretty ticked that you're marrying somepony I don't even know." Twilight said, quickly pushing him back at arm’s length. "When did you even meet this Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?"

"Twily... Princess Mi Amore Cadenza is Cadance, your old foal sitter."

"Cadance? As in the Cadance?" Twilight asked. She shook her head and looked at Shining Armor. "As in the greatest foal sitter in the history of all foal sitters?"

"You tell me." Shining Armor chuckled. "She was your foal sitter."

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Cadance is only the most amazing pony ever!" Twilight said. "She's beautiful, she's caring, she's kind..."

Her mind drifted to a fond memory of their time together.

"I am so lucky to have you as my foal sitter." Young Twilight said as she was sitting on a swing.

"I'm the lucky one Twilight." Cadance said as she pushed the swing.

"Ha. You're a princess. I'm just a regular old unicorn."

"You are anything but a regular old unicorn." Cadance said, taking Twilight off of the swing.

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake." They chanted in unison. "Clap your hooves and do a little shake."

They both fell back with laughter and Twilight drifted off in to a different memory where a couple were yelling at each other. Cadance shared a glance with Twilight before using her magic to make the couple stop arguing and make up.

"How many unicorns can just spread love wherever they go? I only know of one and you're marrying her!" Twilight exclaimed, snapping out of her reverie. She started jumping around her brother. "You're marrying Cadance, you're marrying Cadance, you're marryin-"

Twilight stopped in surprise at the sight of a pink alicorn. She immediately recognized her as Cadance, who was currently glaring at the siblings.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything important." Cadance muttered.

"Cadance!" Twilight exclaimed. She hopped in front of her old friend and smiled. "Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake. Clap your hooves and do a little shake."

"What are you doing?" Cadance asked flatly.

"Cadance it's me. Twilight."

"Uh-huh." Cadance grunted. She walked past Twilight and up to Shining Armor who put his leg around her neck.

"I've got to get back to my station, but Cadance will be checking with all of you to see how things are going. I think I speak for both of us when I say we couldn't be more excited to have you here. Right dear?"

"Absolutely." Cadance said with a malicious look.

Twilight stared at Cadance with a confused look.

"Well, we'll let you get to it." Shining Armor said as he walked away with Cadance.

Wedding - Check Ups

Twilight was sitting in the bakery with Applejack who was checking each of the stations ensuring that everything was in order. Twilight had a scowl on her face as her mind was preoccupied with the thought of Cadance.

"Cake." Applejack grunted after she put a final touch of icing on the top. "Check."

Twilight checked a box but kept the scowl on her face.

"Ice sculpture. Check."

Twilight checked another box and sank down.

"Best darned bite sized apple fritters ya ever tasted?" Applejack asked, stuffing one of the treats into Twilight's mouth.

"Mmm. Check." Twilight said happily, checking off another box. "Say, where is Sarge?"

"I think he went with th' other guys t' prepare for your brother’s party."

"Speaking of that. Spike why aren't you preparing the bachelor party?"

Twilight turned to Spike who was sitting with the two wedding cake toppers, using them like toys.

"I do, do you?" Spike said, imitating Shining Armors voice while holding. "I do. Mwuah!"

Twilight took the two wedding cake toppers away from Spike and glared at him.

"Tucker said that he would do it." Spike laughed innocently as Cadance walked in to the room.

"Hiya Princess!" Applejack greeted with a curtsey.

"Please, call me Princess Mi Amore Cadenza." Cadance insisted.

"Hiya Princess Mi Amore Cadenza." Applejack repeated. "Ya come t' check out what's on the menu for your big day?"

"I have." Cadance said with a smile, but turned it in to a scowl as Applejack turned around.

Applejack held up a platter with the fritters on them to Cadance, who took a small bite out of one of them and placed it back on the platter.

"Delicious. I love, love, love them." Cadance said with a forced tone.

"Aw shucks, why doncha take a few t' go?" Applejack asked as she held up a brown bag.

Cadance reluctantly brought the bag up to her mouth with magic and started to walk away.

"I know how ya brides kin be." Applejack said. "So busy ya ferget to get a little somethin' in yer belly."

Cadance threw the bag in to the trash when Applejack turned around and walked out the door.

"Did you see what she..." Twilight trailed off but Applejack stared at her blankly.

Twilight shook her head and made her way to where Rarity was putting the finishing touches on the wedding gown with Simmons’ help.

"I cannot believe her." Twilight vented to the pair.

"She couldn't have been that bad." Simmons said as he fiddled with the suit he was finishing up.

"Oh you should have seen how she acted back there. I don't know when she changed, but she changed." Twilight said as she stomped her hoof to the ground. She brought her hoof up to her throat and started imitating Cadance. "Please, call me Princess Mi Amore Cadenza."

"Did I hear someone say my name?" Cadance said as she entered the room with her three bridesmaids.

"Your highness!" Rarity exclaimed. She ran in front of Cadance and bowed. "Let me just start by saying what it is an honor to play a role in such a momentous occasion."

"Uh-huh. Is my dress ready?"

"Oh, uh i- yes. Of course. My friend and I have been working on it ever since we were given the assignment. And I think you will be pleased with the results."

"I was hoping for something with more beading and a longer train." Cadance huffed with barely a moment’s hesitation.

"Oh. Yes. Of course." Rarity said, taking out a notepad and quill.

"And those should be a different color."

Rarity nodded hesitantly and wrote on her notepad.

"I think they're lovely." One bridesmaid said, the others quickly chimed in with their agreements.

Cadance glared at her bridesmaids and they quickly broke eye contact.

"Make them a different color." Cadance ordered before leaving the room

"Gee, maybe her name should be Princess Demandy Pants." Twilight muttered before leaving to check up on Pinkie.

"I thought we did well." Simmons said quietly to Rarity after Twilight left.

"You did Simmons, I'm afraid I was being too stingy with the dress. Instead of making it great we had to make it perfect. This is her big day after all and she should not settle for second best."

"She still could have said it was nice..." Simmons muttered.

"She is probably extremely stressed." Rarity insisted. "At least the suits for you and the other boys came out well."

"Yeah. I'm glad I finally found someone I can actually work with and not for." Simmons said happily.

"Shall we work on the dress now? After we're done you could go to that bachelor party that the boys are throwing, I'm sure they would be glad to see you." Simmons nodded quickly.

Over in the mess hall, Cadance was standing with Pinkie to make sure the festivities were meeting expectations.

"Okay, let's see. We've been over the games." Pinkie said.

Caboose grabbed the dice and threw them on the ground. Cadance gave an unimpressed look to Caboose.

"The dances." Pinkie said, dancing to the polka music. "I think this reception is going to be perfect, don't you?"

"Perfect if we were celebrating a six year old's birthday party." Cadance muttered.

"I am way older than six!" Caboose exclaimed.

Cadance rolled her eyes and started to leave the room.

"Thank you." Pinkie said happily.

It was nearly the end of the day when the girls got together to talk about their preparations.

"Bet I know what you're all thinking." Twilight said as she walked over to the table with her drink. "Cadance is the absolute worst bride to be ever."

All the girls turned to her with a look of bewilderment. "Who me?" Spike mimicked as he held up the Cadance topper.

"Spike. That goes on th' cake." Applejack said.

Spike pushed the topper on to the table and laughed innocently yet again.

"Twilight what ever are you talking about? Cadance is an absolute gem." Rarity said happily

"Rarity, she was so demanding" Twilight pushed.

"Of course she was. Why shouldn't she expect the very best on her wedding day?" Rarity asked.

"Applejack did you know after she told you she just loved, loved, loved your hors d'oeuvres she threw them in the trash?"

"Aw she was probably just trying to spare my feelings." Applejack insisted.

"No she was just being fake and totally insincere." Twilight yelled.

"She did raise her voice at one of my birds during rehearsal..." Fluttershy said quietly.

"See? Rude." Twilight said, crossing her legs.

"But he was singing really off key." Fluttershy said, lifting up a bird from under the table.

The bird let out a few terrible squawks.

"Pinkie Pie, you had to have noticed how she treated-" Twilight stopped midway through her sentence as Pinkie Pie and Spike were playing with the toppers, laughing wildly..

"Nevermind." Twilight muttered. "Rainbow Dash you're with me, right?"

"Sorry Twi." Rainbow Dash said as she stretched her wings. "Been too busy prepping for my sonic rainboom to pay much attention to the bride’s bad attitude."

Twilight let out an annoyed groan.

"The Princess is about to get married. I'm sure any negative behavior she might be displaying is simply the result of nerves." Rarity said.

"And I'm sure it's the result of her being an awful pony who doesn't deserve to even know Shining Armor, let alone marry him!" Twilight yelled as she slammed her hooves on the table.

"Think maybe you're just bein' a tiny bit possessive of your brother?" Applejack asked.

The girls all nodded in unison.

"I am not being possessive. And I am not taking it out on Cadance. You're just all too caught up in your wedding planning to notice that maybe there shouldn't even be a wedding!" Twilight left the table in anger and went to go find her brother.

Meanwhile all the guys were with Shining Armor in a room protected by a pair of royal guards. Tucker peered his head out of the room and tapped on one of the guards shoulders.

"Hey buddy, do you know any clubs around here?" Tucker asked the Royal Guard.

"Clubs?" He asked flatly.

"Yeah, you know clubs. A club where this suave motherfucker can get a lap dance."

"Tucker he's getting married you idiot." Church muttered.

The Royal Guard shook his head and turned away from Tucker.

"Could have just said no." Tucker muttered. He tapped the Royal Guards shoulder again. "Know where we can get some drinks and get hammered?"

The Royal Guard did not turn to Tucker but shook his head once again.

"Just give up blue." Sarge grunted.

"No we need to make sure he has an awesome last night of freedom before he's tied down."

"As the captain of the Royal Guard I uh... think I know where we can get some hard cider." Shining Armor coughed quietly.

"Now we're talking!" Tucker laughed..

Wedding - Party Hard

Shining Armor led the group of guys to the barracks and motioned them to come inside.

"Are we allowed to be in here?" Church asked. "What if we get caught?"

"What are they going to do?" Shining Armor chuckled. "Been awhile since I've had some actual fun. I'd like to let loose with a few guys who aren't with me because I'm their captain."

"I like this guy already." Tucker said.

"Alright I guess." Church shrugged.

"Let's hurry this shit up." Tucker said. "Caboose you stay by the door and keep guard, and for the love of god do not help anybody."

"Okay." Caboose said happily.

Shining Armor led the others down the barracks steps and in front of a locked door. He stuck his horn in the lock and it started to glow. The lock then snapped open and the door swung open to reveal nearly a dozen wooden kegs. Tucker grinned wildly and went up to one of them and pressed on the tap. A steady stream of liquid poured out and Tucker took a sip.

"Not the strongest but it should be good enough." Tucker said.

"I'm not too sure about this." Simmons said quietly.

"Hey, if they're getting drunk then I am too." Grif said.

"How are we going to bring this back?" Tucker asked.

"We carry it." Shining Armor grinned. "Or more specifically you carry it."

"Alright, pile one on." Tucker said, prepping his back to carry the keg.

"Wow, you're actually doing work." Church muttered.

"I was starting to think this place was boring, now that I have something to make it awesome I'm going to take advantage of it."

"You ready?" Shining Armor asked.

Tucker nodded and Shining Armor pushed a keg on to Tuckers back.

"How exactly are we going to sneak this back?" Church asked. "It would look pretty damn suspicious if they see him walking around with a keg on his back."

Shining Armor looked at one of the tables that had a giant cloth over it. He motioned towards it and raised his brow.

"Yeah because that would be so much less conspicuous."

"What would you suggest then?" Tucker muttered.

"I would recommend putting it down and walking away, but you're an idiot so I know you wouldn't go for that."

"Just throw the damn thing over my back."

Shining Armor walked up to the table and took the cloth off to place it over the keg. Once it was on it Shining Armor and Tucker shared a quick nod.

"Let's hurry back and try not to get seen." Shining Armor said.

Tucker nodded and slowly walked out of the room, trying to keep the keg from moving.

"What do you have there? Is it a present?" Caboose asked.

"Yeah Caboose, it's one hell of a present." Tucker said.

"Yay I love presents!" Caboose yelled.

"Shut the fuck up." Tucker said quietly.

"Caboose it's not for you." Church said.

"Hey I think giving him some would be funny to see." Tucker said.

Church just shook his head, not wanting to get Caboose even more brain dead than he already is.

"The coast is clear." Grif said, coming back from outside.

"Alright let's hurry up." Tucker muttered. "This thing is fucking heavy."

The group walked out of the barracks and started to make their way back to Shining Armor's home.

"How much further is it?" Tucker said in a strained voice after ten minutes of slowly walking.

"Not much farther." Shining armor promised. "Probably about three more min-"

"Shining Armor what is it that you are doing?" A thundering voice called out.

A dark alicorn landed next to Shining Armor and looked over all the other guys.

"We're just checking on some things Princess Luna, don't worry." Shining Armor said quietly.

"Who are these others? I have never seen them before." Luna said boldly.

"They're uh..." Shining Armor trailed off.

"We're new recruits." Tucker said. "We were just bringing this water to the reception area so it can be given to the guests after the wedding."

Luna looked Tucker square in the face, looking for signs of deceit. Shining Armor hit Tucker in the side relatively hard.

"Soldier that was out of line and you will speak to the princesses when addressed." Shining Armor exclaimed.

"Oh f... course" Tucker grunted.

"Glad to see your affairs in order." Luna nodded. "I must go back to my post to ensure Canterlot is secured for the rest of the night."

"Yes Princess." Shining Armor said with a bow. The others followed his lead and Luna flew back off to the tower.

"What the fuck was that about?" Tucker hissed, rubbing his side, barely noticing his mistake in time to keep the keg on his back.

"Sorry, we had to make it seem authentic." Shining Armor said.

"Could have fucking told me." Tucker muttered.

Once they arrived back at Shining Armor’s house, Tucker slowly walked up the stairs and let the keg roll off of his back.

"Hang on, I'll go get something to hold the drinks in." Shining Armor said, quickly leaving the room to go to the kitchen.

"This is just a bad idea." Church muttered.

"You would think that." Tucker said. "Why don't you just let loose for once in your damn life?"

"This might fuck up his wedding though."

"When has alcohol ever hurt anyone?"

"I feel stupider just from hearing that."

Shining Armor came back in the room with a bunch of mugs and laid them out on a table. Tucker grabbed a mug and threw it under the keg and filled it up.

"Well?" Tucker asked. "Let's get started."

"I'm not having any." Church said.

"Have one drink." Tucker insisted.

"If I have one will you shut up about it?"

Instead of a reply Tucker filled a mug up and gave it to Church. Soon all the guys had a mug. Even Caboose had one but he just stared at it curiously.

"What is it?" Caboose asked.

"It's apple juice." Tucker said.

"Oh boy I love apple juice!" Caboose exclaimed. He chugged the entire mug and his face went green. "This tastes like rotten apple juice..."

"Want another?" Shining Armor asked.

"No it tastes like unhappiness."

Church let out a relieved sigh and took a sip of the drink.

"What do you think of it?" Tucker asked.

"Not bad." Church said quietly.

"It came straight from the Canterlot brewery." Shining Armor said as he took a sip from his mug. "It is reserved for special occasions which I felt was apt for the situation. Think you'll be wanting another?"

"Maybe later."

"Don't be a pansy." Sarge taunted as he filled another mug. "Are all the blues weak drinkers?"

"I can drink the hell out of you red." Tucker said, mimicking Sarge's voice with the last word.

"Is that a bet?" Sarge asked with a raised brow.

Sarge and Tucker were half way through a drinking contest when the door swung open and all the guys turned around.

"What are you doing?" Cadance yelled, taking the mug out of his hoof with her magic. She sniffed it and scowled. "Why are you doing this on our wedding night?"

"Come on Cadance I haven't had any time to just sit down what with the spell and all." Shining Armor said.

"You care about getting intoxicated with others more than you care about being ready for the wedding?" Cadance asked.

"Hey Princess whatever-your-name-is." Tucker muttered. "Listen we were just-"

"Who are you and why are you talking to me?" Cadance asked.

"Someone who doesn't have a pole up their a-"

"I'm sorry about him princess, he doesn't know when to shut the hell up." Church said, swiftly acting in an attempt to save the quickly degrading situation. "I tried to talk him out of it but... do you have idiots here? Because he is one of them."

"At least one of them seems to have a head on their shoulders." Cadance said. "What is your name."

"Church." Church said, extending his hoof to Cadance.

"Well Church, would you mind keeping an eye on my soon-to-be husband while I give the others a talking to?" Cadance said, not meeting Church's hoof.

"As long as someone is doing it." Church muttered.

"You two go downstairs." Cadance ordered.

"Yes dear." Shining Armor said, leaving the room with Church.

Wedding - Mistakes

"Sorry about them being... well them." Church said quietly.

"Don't be. I was hoping to finally hang out with some guys, you know?"

"Trust me, I've been hanging out with these guys for years and I hate them."

"I could tell there wasn't much friendliness being tossed back and forth in there." Shining Armor chuckled. "I still feel bad for them in there. I don't think I've ever seen Cadance this stressed."

"They've had it coming for a long time." Church laughed. "You're a lot more down to earth than I thought you would have been, you being a captain of the Royal Guard and all."

"Thanks."

Church and Shining Armor stood in silence for a few minutes.

"So you've been staying with my sister." Shining Armor said, breaking the silence

"Yeah." Church said slowly, unsure of what to expect from Twilight’s brother.

"How's she been treating you?" Shining asked earnestly.

"Better than I've been treated by most." Church shrugged, relieved that he hadn’t suddenly gotten overly-protective.

"Good." Shining Armor nodded as he adjusted the crest on his suit.

There was a sudden knock on the door and both of their heads snapped to it. Shining Armor slowly walked up to the door and opened it.

"Twily!" Shining Armor said with a smile. "Your big brother's looking pretty good, doncha think?"

Twilight looked up to Shining Armor with a dejected look. Church and Shining Armor shared a brief glance with each other.

"Everything okay?" Shining Armor asked.

"We need to talk." Twilight stated. "I think you're making a big-"

"Ahem." Cadance interrupted.

"Oh ,um, hi sweetie." Shining Armor said with an innocent smile, pretending that the drinking hadn't happened.

"She sure has a way of sneaking up on people." Twilight muttered.

"Could I speak to you for a moment dear?" Cadance said.

"I better see what she wants." Shining Armor chuckled, elbowing Twilight in her chest.

Cadance and Shining Armor went in to the adjacent room and started to talk to each other, leaving Church alone with Twilight.

"Hey Twilight." Church said. "How wa-"

"Shh." Twilight whispered as she snuck up to the door to listen to their conversation.

"Just listen to me." Cadance said

"I'm listening, I'm listening..." Shining Armor groaned.

"I thought I made it perfectly clear I didn't want you to wear that."

"This was my favorite uncle’s."

"And?" Cadance asked icily.

"And I think I should wear it."

"Are you disagreeing with me?"

"I guess I am." Shining Armor stated strongly before grunting in pain.

"Oh dear, are you getting another one of your headaches?"

Church looked over Twilight to see Cadance shooting a green beam of magic in to Shining Armor’s horn.

"What did sh-"

"Shh." Twilight hushed again, putting her hoof over Church's mouth.

"Feeling better?" Cadance asked.

Shining Armor nodded his head, eyes green and unfocused.

"She isn't just unpleasant and rude. She's downright evil." Twilight gasped.

Shining Armor made his way to the door. Twilight grabbed Church and ran towards the exit.

"Twilight!" Shining Armor exclaimed.

"Let her go." Cadance insisted.

"Huh, it seemed like she had something else she wanted to tell me."

Church and Twilight kept on running to get to the other girls.

"Who goes there?" Luna called out.

"Her again." Church remarked dryly.

"Stay indoors Twilight Sparkle." Luna warned. "Recruit, get back to your post in the reception hall."

"Shining Armor is in real trouble." Twilight exclaimed as she burst through the door. "You need to help-"

Twilight stopped when she saw her friends adorned with heavily detailed yet beautiful dresses.

"Dresses?" Twilight asked. "What are you-"

"Can you believe it?" Fluttershy asked happily. "We're going to be Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's new bridesmaids."

"New bridesmaids? What happened to her old bridesmaids?"

"She didn't say, but she did tell us that she would love, love, love it if we'd fill in fer them." Applejack said.

"Seeing as we've been working so hard and everything." Rarity added.

"And ya had your doubts 'bout her." Applejack tutted.

"Told you she was an absolute gem." Rarity smiled.

"You sure this is what I should wear?" Rainbow Dash asked as she kicked the back of her dress. "It doesn't seem all that aerodynamic."

"I'll see what I can do." Rarity promised.

"This is so exciting." Applejack laughed.

"Oh I know this is awesome!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Twilight left the building with Church, head hanging low.

"Looks like I really am on my own." Twilight said sadly.

"I'm with you." Church said, laying a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "We'll get to the bottom of this."

Twilight smiled weakly and nodded as they left. The next morning, the five girls were in the wedding hall to practice the ceremony.

"Perfect girls. No need to Rush." Celestia said.

The girls looked at each other and started to giggle.

"Then of course Cadance will enter." Celestia added.

The door opens and Cadance enters with the wedding music playing. Shining Armor's jaw drops as he saw his beautiful wife walk towards him.

"I'll say a few words and then I'll begin with the vows." Celestia said as Cadance and Shining Armor nuzzled each other. "Shining Armor you will get the ring from your best mare."

Shining Armor turned around to grab the ring from Twilight, but she was not there.

"Do you? I do." Spike said as he played with the toppers.

"Hey, has anypony seen Twilight?" Shining Armor asked.

The doors swung open once again to reveal Twilight glaring at Cadance. All the ponies stared at her curiously.

"I'm here. I'm not going to stand next to her and neither should you!" Twilight exclaimed.

"I'm sorry I don't know why she's acting like this." Shining Armor said to Cadance nervously.

"Maybe we should just ignore her." Cadance said.

"You have to listen to me." Twilight stated.

"Oh goodness, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm fine."

"Ya sure 'bout that?" Applejack asked. Her hat was forced over her face by Twilight’s magic.

"I've got something to say." Twilight said. "She's evil."

Shining Armor stepped in front of Cadance and the girls started gasping.

"She's been horrible to my friends, she's obviously done something to her bridesmaids, and if that wasn't enough I saw her put a spell on my brother that made his eyes go all-" Twilight stopped and started spinning her eyes in circles.

Twilight grinned and backed Cadance in to the wall. Cadance eyes shifted from side to side and started to cry.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Cadance asked.

"Because you're evil. Evil! And if I don't stop you, you're going to ruin my brother’s life."

The girls stared at Twilight slack jawed as Cadance ran out of the hall. Twilight turned around, promptly bumping into Shining Armor who was glaring at her.

"You want to know why my eyes went all-" Shining Armor said, rolling his eyes in circles. Shining Armor grunted in pain and rubbed his head. "Because ever since I started having to perform my protection spell I've been getting terrible migraines. Cadance hasn't been casting spells on me, she's been using her magic to heal me. And she decided to replace her bridesmaids because she found out the only reason they wanted to be in the wedding was so that they could meet Canterlot royalty. And if she hasn't been on her best behavior with your friends it's because with me being so busy, she's had to make all the decisions about the wedding."

"I was just trying to-"

"She's completely stressed out because it's really important to her that our big day be perfect. Something that obviously wasn't important to you. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and comfort my bride. And you can forget about being my best mare." Shining Armor yelled. He looked to the ground and shook his head. "In fact if I were you I wouldn't show up to the wedding at all."

Shining Armor left the room and Twilight looked back to her friends who were staring at her with looks of doubt.

"Come on ya'll, let's go check on the princess." Applejack said as she adjusted her hat.

The girls left the room to catch up to Shining Armor.

"I was-"

"You have a lot to think about." Celestia said angrily as she too walked past Twilight.

"Maybe I was being overprotective." Twilight said quietly. She trudged on to some steps and laid down on them. "I could have gained a sister, but instead I just lost a brother."

Twilight soon had tears rolling down her cheek. Church walked up to her and sat next to her.

"It's going to be okay, everybody makes mistakes." Church said.

Twilight hugged Church tightly and began to sing softly. "He was my big brother best friend forever."

Singing, really? Church thought to himself, but said nothing.

"And now we'll never do anything together."

Church and Twilight turned to see Cadance staring at Twilight, eyes soft.

"I'm sorry." Twilight said.

"You will be." Cadance muttered as her eyes flashed green.

A green fire surrounded Church and Twilight, pulling them into the ground.

Wedding - Cave

Twilight's eyes snapped open. She found herself surrounded by darkness. She lit her horn in an attempt to illuminate the area around her.

"Hello?" Twilight called out, but simply got her own query in reply as her voice bounced around the cavern. She got up and started to walk around. "Is anyone there?"

"Twilight? Where are you?" Church groaned.

"I'm over here." Twilight called back.

"As much as I appreciate you answering me I'm afraid it doesn't help my current situation seeing as it's pitch black..."

Twilight channeled more magic into her horn, finding Church on the far side of the room. The sudden light blinded Church, who shut his eyes against the abrupt intrusion. "Can you see now?"

"Yeah." Church said as he rubbed his eyes. "Just a little blind from the sudden flas-"

Church got caught off mid sentence due to him slamming his face in to the side of the cavern.

"Are you okay?" Twilight asked.

"I think so." Church muttered. "Where are we?"

Seemingly in response to his question, the crystal walls of the cave flashed green and an image of Cadance appeared in front of them.

"The fuck?" Church muttered.

"The caves beneath Canterlot." Boomed Cadance’s voice. “Once home to greedy unicorns who wanted to claim the gems that could be found inside, and now your prison.”

"Help!" Twilight yelled. "Help!"

"It's no use, no one can hear you. And no one will ever think to look here for you either. Most ponies have forgotten that these caves even exist which is why they are the ideal place to keep the ones who try to interfere with my plans." Cadance broke off in a maniacal laugh.

"Plans? What plans?"

"The plans I have for your brother of course." Cadance said simply, as if it should have been obvious.

"Don't you dare do anything to my brother you- you monster."

"Only way to stop me is to catch me." Cadance said as she started to laugh maniacally. Her image quickly skipped from one rock to the other. "Over here," it taunted.

Twilight shot a projectile at the last place she saw Cadance, but it reflected off of the surface of the cave and bounced around until it hit the ground, missing Church by a hair.

"Good to see I'm not the only terrible shot..." Church muttered under his breath.

"Nope, over here." Cadance taunted.

Twilight kept shooting surges of magic out of her horn, modifying the spell to shatter the stones that stuck out of the walls instead of bounce around. Church stared at her silently as he saw that she was out for blood now. Twilight shot at a large stone embedded in the wall and it splintered in to dozens of pieces, revealing Cadance sitting behind it. Twilight's pupils dilated and she charged at Cadance.

"No, wait!" Cadance yelled but Twilight tackled her to the ground. "Please don't hurt me. Twilight it's me! Please you have to believe me, I've been imprisoned like you. The Cadance who brought you down here is an imposter."

"Likely story." Twilight said, lowering her horn to Cadance.

"Twilight stop!" Church yelled.

"Not now Church." Twilight said.

"She's telling the truth." Church said, putting a hoof on her to push her off of Cadance.

"Don't tell me she's tricked you too." Twilight said quietly.

"Look at her, she is covered in bruises." Church pointed out.

"I'll need more proof than a few bruises."

"Sunshine, sunshine, ladybugs awake." Cadance said as she lowered herself to the ground. "Clap your hooves-"

"And do a little shake." Twilight and Cadance said in unison.

Cadance smiled at Twilight as the unicorn threw herself over her old friend.

"You remember me!"

"Of course I do. How could I forget the filly I loved to sit for the most?"

A green flash came from the opposite side of the cave and Church looked at Twilight and Cadance.

"I don't mean to break up this little reunion or anything, but I think we should get out of here." Church coughed.

Cadance broke off from Twilight and nodded.

"He's right." Twilight agreed. "We have to stop her."

They started to run down a path towards where the white light came from, when out of nowhere Cadance began to sing.

"This day was going to be perfect.
The kind of day of which I dreamed since I was small.
But instead of having cake,
With all my friends to celebrate,
My wedding bells will not ring for me at all."

"Is this really necessary?" Church asked. The girls simply ignored him.

"We must escape,
before it's too late,
Find a way to save the day.
Hope?
I'll be lying if I say,
I don't fear that I may lose him,
To one who wants to use him,
Not care for love and cherish him each day."

Cadance noticed a minecart on a long track that spiraled down into the darkness. She tried to start it, but it would not budge while she continued singing.

"For I oh-so love the groom,
All my thoughts he-"

"Stop with the damn singing." Church barked, having endured enough of the sappiness. "Save it for when we're out of here."

Cadance opened her mouth to argue.

"No, just no. Stop singing and get in the fucking cart." Church grunted.

Cadance shared a glance with Twilight who stared at Church silently. Cadance nodded and jumped in the cart. Church nodded to Twilight who jumped in with Cadance. Church kicked the rocks out of the way, bucked the cart and grabbed it as it started rolling down the track. As the spiral proceeded downwards, Church soon realized that the track had not been finished. Before they could do anything the cart broke through the sign and they started falling.

"What are we going to do?" Church asked.

Cadance jumped out of the cart with Twilight and spread her wings, leaving Church in the cart. Cadance and Twilight landed on a level area while Church kept falling.

"For the love of-" Church muttered.

Church jumped out of the cart and grabbed on to the side of the cavern and slowly started to climb up. He got to the top and glared at Cadance.

"Couldn't have warned me, huh?"

"We need to get out of here." Cadance said, ignoring Church while she put her ear up to the wall. "Oh no, they're starting."

Inside the wedding hall, the girls were standing on one side of the carpet, while the guys were standing on the other.

"Where's Church?" Simmons asked.

"I don't know, last I saw him is when he left with Twilight's brother." Tucker said.

"Maybe he is playing hide and seek." Caboose suggested.

"Mares and gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Shining Armor." Celestia said happily.

"Oh, we're never going to save him." Cadance said, defeated as she heard the ceremony starting. She slumped up against the wall and sniffled.

"We will, we just have to find-" Twilight started. She stopped as a white light shone above her. "There!"

Twilight teleported the three of them up to the light. Church looked around for a brief moment and let out a deep groan.

"What is it Church?"

"Oh it's nothing." Church said sarcastically. "I was just thinking that you could have done that at the start and brought us to the wedding hall. You know, it would have just saved five minutes of our lives and we could have been on our way by now."

"You're not going anywhere." Said the three bridesmaids as they walked out from the shadows.

"If it isn't one thing, it's another, isn't it?"

Wedding - Unleashed

"Get the fuck out of our way." Church said.

The bridesmaids kept walking towards him.

"Listen I don't want to hurt yo-"

Lyra kicked Church in the jaw, causing him to fall backwards.

"What the shit?" Church yelled.

Cadance grabbed some flowers off the ground and threw them over some rocks. The bridesmaids snapped to attention and jumped after them.

"Really?" Church asked quietly. I have enough trouble understanding women as is.

"Let's go." Cadance said.

The three of them made it to the wedding hall just before the ceremony was completed.

"Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. " Celestia addressed. "It is my great pleasure to pronounce you-"

"Stop!" Twilight yelled, causing everypony to look at her, Rarity promptly facehoofing at the obscenity of her friend.

"Why does she have to be so possessive of her brother?" The impostor roared, stomping her hoof. She caught herself and brought her hoof up to her mouth and started to sob softly. "Why does she have to ruin my special day?"

"Because it's not your special day, it's mine." Cadance yelled.

"What? But how did you escape my bridesmaids?"

Cadance and Twilight looked at Church who was rubbing his mouth lightly.

"She threw flowers and they chased them." Church muttered.

"Hm, clever. But you're still too late."

"I don't understand, how kin there be two of 'em?"

"She's a changeling! She takes the form of somepony you love and gains power by feeding off of your love for them." Cadance exclaimed.

The impostor suddenly became engulfed in a green flame. As the flame disappeared the impostor changed back to her true form. She had wings and a horn like an alicorn, but her entire form was riddled with holes similar in appearance to that of moth eaten fabric. Her body was completely black, accentuated by her green eyes and complimented by her soft blue mane and wings.

"Who are you?" Twilight asked.

"I am Queen Chrysalis, the changeling queen."

"Chrysalis?" Tucker laughed. "Not only does she look like a fucking STD, but even her name sounds like one."

Queen Chrysalis ignored the insult and returned her attention to Cadance.

"Right you are Princess. And as queen of the changelings, it is up to me to find food for my subjects. Equestria has more love than any place I've ever encountered. My little changelings will be able to devour so much of it and we will gain more power than we have ever dreamed of."

"They'll never get the chance. Shining Armor's protection spell will prevent them from ever reaching us."

"I doubt that. Isn't that right dear?" Chrysalis turned to Shining Armor who slowly nodded in response.

Cadance started to charge at Chrysalis but her horn started to glow.

"Nuh-uh-uh, don't want to go back to the caves now, do you?" Chrysalis asked, to which Cadance slowly backed away. "Ever since I took your place, I've been feeding off of Shining Armor's love for you. Every moment he grows weaker and so does his spell. Even now my minions are chipping away at it." The ponies closest to the windows gasped as they saw hundreds of changelings crashing against the shield.

"He may not be my husband, but he is under my total control now. And I'm sorry to say, unable to perform his duties as Captain of the Royal Guard."

"Not my Shining Armor." Cadance reached out.

"Soon my changeling army will break through. First we take Canterlot, and then all of Equestria."

"No you won't." Celestia said from behind Chrysalis. "You may have made it impossible for Shining Armor to perform his spell, but now that you have so foolishly revealed your true self I can protect my subjects from you." She crossed horns with Chrysalis as she finished her statement.

Celestia broke the deadlock and flew into the air, shooting a beam of energy at Chrysalis, but she countered with a magic beam of her own. Celestia increased her focus and her beam started cutting through Chrysalis', causing her to shut her eyes in anticipation of the inevitable. But as Chrysalis opened her eyes, she realized the extent of the power that she had absorbed from Shining Armor. She concentrated her efforts, forcing her beam quickly up to Celestia's horn. Celestia gasped in surprise as she was sent careening backwards, her regalia parting from her head.

"Princess Celestia!" Twilight yelled as she ran to her mentor.

"Ah, Shining Armor's love for you is even stronger than I thought." Chrysalis laughed. "Consuming it has made me even more powerful than Celestia."

"The Elements of Harmony... you must get to them..." Celestia said weakly. "Use their power to defeat the queen."

The girls nodded as they threw off their dresses and ran out the door. Rarity and Simmons quickly caught all of them so their work did not get destroyed.

"There isn't time for that, let's fucking go!" Church yelled, pushing Rarity and Simmons ahead of him.

"You can run, but you can't hide!" Chrysalis bellowed.

As the crew made their way towards the Elements of Harmony, the shield above them collapsed and the changelings started to fly in.

"Keep running, we'll hold them off." Sarge grunted.

A changeling flew straight at Sarge so he kicked it in the head, cracking its skull which rendered it unconscious. A changeling charged at Simmons and grabbed the back of his suit and ripped it in half. Simmons came to a complete halt and glared at the changeling that then threw his suit to the ground.

"Keep running you fucking idiot!" Tucker screamed.

"No. This is the first thing I've made where I actually had help, and these fuckers tore it."

"Let it go Simmons." Church yelled. "Stop being such a bab-"

A sudden explosion caused everypony to fall in response to the concussive force. Before anypony could ask what happened, a second explosion ripped through the air. They all shakily stood up and turned to see Simmons standing still, surrounded by dozens of dark red orbs, dust settling all around them.

"Simmons what are you doing?" Rarity yelled.

A changeling dove towards Simmons, but he took one of the orbs in his magic, spinning it extremely quickly until it took the form of a long cylindrical shape. It had a small fire coming out of the back of it, but it just simply floated in the air. Once the changeling was close enough to Simmons, he released projectile allowing it to take off, hitting the changeling and blasting it to a million pieces.

"What’s happening?" Twilight asked.

"These fuckers are going to pay for that." Simmons snarled as another ball started to take the form of a rocket. "Keep going. Get the elements of whatever the hell they're called. I'll hold them off."

Sarge stood next to Simmons who smiled at the gesture. Suddenly Sarge punched Simmons in the side of the head, knocking him to the ground. Sarge then got tackled by Grif and Grif punched him in the face.

"Grif what are you doing?" Simmons yelled.

Sarge suddenly flashed green to reveal that it was a changeling, lying unconscious on the ground.

"Man that felt good." Grif laughed.

Sarge tackled one of the changelings out of the air and stomped on its head, making it slump over.

"Blues, you go with the other girls and help them." Sarge grunted.

Dozens of changelings charged at the girls but Simmons shot all the rockets floating around him at them, terminating a few but mostly dazing the others.

"Get some fuckers!" Simmons yelled. "This is how the reds do shit!"

"Are you sure you can handle it?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Don't worry, this isn't our first dealings with clones." Church said. "Now let's stop standing around and get this done."

Wedding - Love Conquers

"We're almost there." Twilight exclaimed as she made her way up some steps. She stopped in her tracks, causing the girls to run into her. Church and Tucker managed to catch themselves before becoming part of the pile-up. Until Caboose just plowed right through them and into the girls anyways, making their gesture much less meaningful.

"Looks like we'll have to do this the hard way." Rainbow Dash said, bringing her hooves together menacingly

"Bow chicka bow wow." Tucker said, rearing up onto his hind hooves as electricity pulsed to his front legs making an electrical blade. "I was beginning to think this day was going to be boring."

Tucker flew at one of the changelings and swiped at it, cutting off one of its wings.

"What are you waiting for?" Tucker asked Rainbow Dash, who was just standing there idly. "Hit something!"

Rainbow Dash promptly did as she was told, turning and punching Tucker in the face, causing him to fly backwards.

"Fuck." Tucker groaned.

"They're changelings, remember?" Twilight said.

"They're changelings, remember?" Repeated a chorus of changelings that had taken Twilight's form.

"Well this is going to get confusing fast." Church muttered.

"Hurry, we have to get to the Elements of Harmony. They're our only hope." Twilight continued.

"How will we know if we're about to hit one of us and not the changelings?" Tucker asked.

"Well if they're surrounding you to beat the shit out of you I would say it is safe to assume it's not one of us." Church muttered.

A few Caboose changelings walked up to Church with smirks on their faces.

"Caboose, my twin! Oh my gosh I have more than one twin! Oh, how I have missed you!" Caboose yelled, hugging the group of Cabooses. "We finally have time to do all those things you promised we would do! Like knitting!" The changelings looked at each other and slipped out of Cabooses' grasp and went after the others.

"Come back I loveded you!" Caboose yelled sadly. He turned to Fluttershy and frowned. "I thought you said they were not mean."

Twilight spotted a dogpile of Applejacks, so she blasted the group apart with a beam of magic, scattering them across the courtyard. She then lifted the remaining one off the ground and charged up her magic. "Real me! Real me!" Applejack yelled.

Pinkie stood in front of a changeling that quickly changed appearances, from Rarity to Rainbow Dash to Fluttershy.

"Do me, do me." Pinkie said happily, giggling and clapping her hooves together.

The changeling rolled its eyes and took Pinkie's form, open armed with a little goofy grin.

"Eh, I've seen better." Pinkie shrugged.

Pinkie grabbed Twilight and started pumping her tail, causing Twilight to shoot bolts of magic from her horn in rapid succession. Caboose looked at her and picked up Church and yanked his tail with no apparent effect.

"What the fuck Caboose!" Church yelled in pain. "What are you doing?"

"I do not know, but I will keep doing it!" Caboose yelled confusedly.

A changeling that was charging at Rarity was suddenly engulfed in a ball of fire and the remaining changelings started to fly away. Rarity turned to see Simmons and the others running up to them, changelings quick in pursuit.

"There's too many, they just keep coming!" Grif yelled.

"It doesn't matter, we're almost there." Twilight said.

As the group ran to the building where the Elements were being held, the changelings were quickly catching up. Twilight opened the door to find that it was filled from wall to wall with changelings. The group turned to run to see that the changelings behind them had caught up and they were surrounded.

"There's too many." Twilight said sadly. "We can't fight them all off."

"I can sure as hell try." Sarge grunted as he ran into the fray, Simmons firing rockets off over his head.

Back in the wedding hall Celestia awoke to find herself imprisoned in something that could only be described as a cocoon, while Cadance, Shining Armor and Spike were standing by the arch.

"You won't get away with this." Cadance yelled, her feet attached to the floor by a green goop. "Twilight and her friends will-"

The doors shot open to display the mentioned group entering. Escorted by a large number of changelings.

"You were saying?" Chrysalis asked before turning to Twilight and her friends. "You do realize the receptions been cancelled, don't you? Go! Feed!" She commanded the lesser changelings.

The door slammed behind the changelings as they charged out.

"It's funny really, Twilight here was suspicious of my behavior all along." Chrysalis laughed as she flew to the arch. "Too bad the rest of you were all caught up in your wedding planning to realize those suspicions were correct."

"Sorry Twi, we shoulda listened to ya." Applejack said quietly.

"It's not your fault. She fooled everypony."

"Hm, I did, didn't I?" Chrysalis asked. "This day has been just perfe-"

"You too? Shut the fuck up!" Church yelled. "Jesus, what the hell is it with everybody and singing today?"

Chrysalis glared at Church but turned back to the window to watch the destruction her minions were wreaking.

"Quick, go to him while you still have the chance." Twilight said to Cadance, freeing her feet with her magic.

"She has already won." Cadance whispered. "It's too late."

"It's never too late to fight for the ones you love. She is using your love as a tool against you." Church said. "Don't let what has happened to me happen to you.”

"What if she stops me?" Cadance asked. "I fear her magic is stronger than mine."

"I think I know a way I can distract her." Church said quietly.

"What are you going to do?" Twilight asked.

"Hey Queenie!" Church yelled, slowly walking towards Chrysalis. "So you feed off of love?" Chrysalis turned to Church and her horn started to glow, ready to attack. "Well I have a fuck ton of it." Church said, coming to a full stop a couple feet away from her. "Come and get it."

Chrysalis stared curiously at Church, unsure of what he was doing.

"Ah I can just feel the love emanating from inside you. The love you have is stronger than any I have ever encountered. " Chrysalis smirked. "If I control you I can take over Equestria with more ease than if I control that Shining Armor fool."

"Well then what the fuck are you waiting for?" Church jeered.

Chrysalis' horn shot a beam at Church's horn and Church's eyes started to flash green. Church let out a scream and started to push the magic back with his own beam. Chrysalis gasped as Church's power was edging over hers, pushing it back, destroying it. Suddenly Chrysalis' beam completely vanished and Church's beam surrounded Chrysalis in a blue grip.

"What is this? How are you denying my magic?" Chrysalis asked as she found herself unable to move. "My magic has defeated Celestia herself!"

"Do you know what it feels like loving someone who’s in a rush to throw you away?" Church asked. "Because I sure as hell do. And because of it I've learned that it's possible to hate what I love."

"This is impossible." Chrysalis snarled.

"I used to think a lot of things were impossible." Church muttered as he turned to Cadance and nodded. "Do it now while you still have the chance."

Cadance returned the nod and went up to Shining Armor and hugged him tightly. A small red heart came out of her horn and drifted over to Shining Armor's forehead and popped, breaking the spell that Chrysalis had put on him.

"Is the wedding over?" Shining Armor asked shakily.

"It's all over." Chrysalis yelled.

"Use the spell!" Twilight exclaimed.

"What is the use? My changelings already roam free."

"They will fall once their queen falls." Simmons said in reply

"I don't have enough strength to repel them." Shining Armor said as the light faded after attempting the spell.

"My love will give you strength." Cadance said as she hugged Shining Armor once again.

"What a lovely, but absolutely ridiculous sentiment." Chrysalis laughed.

"Big talk coming from the one who can't move." Church said.

Shining Armor looked at Cadance who gave him a loving smile. Shining Armor lowered his head and his horn started to flicker. Cadance lowered her horn towards his, sparks connecting the two until they made contact, her horn igniting into a teal glow. A ball of purple energy formed at the point of contact, quickly growing to consume the pair. They started to slowly float in to the air with their eyes closed, oblivious to everything other than their love for each other and the spell they were weaving. They opened their eyes and a white flash filled the room, and the bubble quickly expanded.

"No!" Chrysalis yelled as the bubble pushed her out the window. The shield kept pushing outwards, pushing each of the the changelings out of Canterlot. Cadance and Shining Armor landed softly on the ground and hugged each other. Twilight ran over to Celestia who was now on the ground, as the bubble had destroyed her cocoon, and helped her up.

"Don't worry about me, I'm fine." Celestia said. "You have a real wedding to put together."

Wedding - Farewells

The wedding was about to begin and Twilight was standing next to Shining Armor at the altar. Shining Armor's crest had fallen out of place and Twilight realigned to its proper position, earning her a grin from her brother. The other girls were standing on one side of the steps in their beautiful dresses and the guys were on the other in their suits. Simmons managed to fix most of the suit before the ceremony but there were still visible marks and stitches.

"You look fine Simmons, there is no need to worry." Rarity said quietly.

Simmons looked up and nodded gratefully. He stood straight and forgot about the condition his suit was in as Fluttershy started directing her bird choir. The doors opened up to show Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo hopping towards the altar, scattering flowers on the carpet as they made their way up the aisle. Cadance then started her slow walk towards the altar, the tail of the dress being lifted by a few songbirds.

"Seriously though, I get why the queen of the changelings wanted to be with you, but how did you get someone as amazing as Cadance to marry you?" Twilight asked jokingly

"I told her she wouldn't just be gaining a husband, she would be getting a pretty great sister too." Shining Armor replied.

Rarity wiped a tear out of her eye with a handkerchief as Cadance walked up to the alter. Applejack, noticing that Rarity wasn’t paying attention to her, pulled out her stetson and placed it back on her head.

"Mares and gentlecolts, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of the real Princess Mi Amore Cadenza-"

"Princess Cadance is fine." Cadance insisted.

Celestia gave her an understanding smile. "The union of Princess Cadance and Shining Armor. The strength of their commitment is clear. The power of their love, undeniable." She turned to Spike and nodded. "May we have the rings please?"

Spike held up the rings on the velvet pillow and Celestia placed the rings on both of their horns.

"I now pronounce you mare and colt."

Shining Armor and Cadance nodded and made their way to the balcony. They opened the door to the sound of thunderous cheers.

"This is your victory as much as theirs." Celestia said to Twilight and Church who were now standing next to each other. "You persisted in the face of doubt and your actions led to your being able to bring the real Princess Cadance back to us. Learning to trust your instincts is a valuable lesson to learn."

"Didn't Church use the power of hate to overpower the power of love?" Tucker muttered, to which Simmons elbowed him in the side.

Shining Armor and Cadance shared a kiss on the balcony.

"Rainbow Dash, that's your cue." Celestia remarked as she leaned in next to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash smiled and grabbed Tucker.

"Come on Tucker it's time to go!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"Wha-"

"I think it would be cooler if you did your lightning thing too."

"Uh, alright." Tucker muttered, flying with Rainbow Dash.

Once Rainbow Dash was far enough away she pulsed forward and a rainbow appeared behind her. Tucker grabbed the rainbow and started to spin around it, sparks starting to fly out of his legs. Tucker caught up to Rainbow Dash and they grabbed each other's hooves and pulsated forward, leaving an explosion of rainbow colored electricity behind them.

"Best. Wedding. Ever!" Rainbow Dash squealed.

"It wasn't bad." Tucker chuckled.

Later in the day the new happily married couple made their way to the Canterlot garden and started their slow dance.

"Hello everypony, did I miss anything?" Luna asked as she landed next to the others.

The boys slowly turned their heads the other way, avoiding eye contact with her.

"What are the recruits doing here?" Luna asked.

"Recruits?" Celestia repeated, raising a brow to the guys.

"I've been meaning to ask, what did she mean by that earlier?" Twilight asked, turning to Church.

"Sorry we kind of lied to you." Church laughed awkwardly as he looked at Luna. "We're not recruits."

"I figured as much." Luna smiled. "We will speak of this at a later time, but for now we shall stick to the festivities."

"Sounds good." Church said.

Twilight turned to Pinkie and nodded. Pinkie smiled and ran to the DJ booth and took Vinyl Scratch out from under the table.

"Let's get this party started!" Pinkie yelled.

Pinkie threw a microphone to Twilight who grabbed it out of the air with her magic and opened her mouth. She paused momentarily as she looked at Church.

"Now is a good time to sing I guess." Church shrugged.

Twilight smiled and nodded.

"Doesn't mean I have to enjoy it though." Church added under his breath.

"Love is in bloom,
A beautiful bride,
a handsome groom,
Two hearts becoming one,
A bond that cannot be undone,
because,

Love is in bloom,
A beautiful bride,
a handsome groom,
I said,
love is in bloom ,
Starting a life and making room,
For us."

Twilight left the mic and walked up to Church. Twilight noted that her friends were all having fun. Pinkie and Caboose were attacking the giant cake, Applejack was playing the violin while Sarge accompanied her on a harmonica. Tucker and Rainbow Dash were having a great time on the dance floor while Simmons and Rarity were talking with Flint and Fancypants, and Grif was talking with Fluttershy away from most of the noise.

"So Church." Twilight said silently. "I was just wondering... maybe if you wanted..."

"You can talk to me, I promise I won't bite."

"I was just wondering if you wanted to dance?"

"I don't know..." Church trailed off. "Dancing isn't really my sort of thing."

"Oh. That's okay." Twilight said trying to cover up the fact that she was saddened by his response.

"Want to know what? Screw it." Church laughed, reaching his hoof forward. "I think that after all that has happened in my life I deserve to have a little fun with my friends."

Twilight smiled happily as she grabbed Church's hoof and went next to her brother, dancing with Church right up to the last song. A carriage arrived and Shining Armor and Cadance walked up to it. Cadance went inside as Twilight and Church waited alongside the door.

"Twilight! None of this would have been possible without you little sis." Shining Armor said. "Love you Twily."

"Love you too BBBFF." Twilight said as she hugged Shining Armor.

"You know Church, we never got to finish my bachelor party properly." Shining Armor said as he raised his hoof. "Maybe we could pick off where we left off at a later date."

"Sounds good to me." Church said, shaking Shining Armor's hoof.

Shining Armor climbed in to the carriage with Cadance.

"Ready to go?" Shining Armor asked.

"Oh, almost forgot." Cadance gasped.

Cadance grabbed the bouquet of flowers and threw it out of the carriage.

"Mine!" Rarity exclaimed as she dove for the bouquet, pushing other ponies out of the way. “Eh he he... mine...” she finished, grinning sheepishly.

"Now this was a great wedding." Twilight said as the carriage left.

"Oh yeah, just wait until you see what I have planned for the bachelor party!" Spike smirked.

"Sorry little dude but we kind of already have that wrapped up." Tucker said.

"Oh." Spike said.

"Do you even know what a bachelor party is yet?" Tucker asked.

"No." Spike admitted.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best." Church said.

Celestia landed next to the group of them and smiled.

"I just wanted to let you all know that I have ordered the royal carriage to take you all home." Celestia said. "I hope you all had a good time."

"I think today was perfect." Twilight smiled.

"I think it was pretty good too." Church said.

"I have other business to attend to, so I wish you farewell." Celestia said, flying back into the castle.

A large carriage landed next to the group of them and they all started to make their way towards it.

"This was a pretty good day." Grif said happily as he started into a giant slice of cake.

"Yeah, it really makes you think doesn't it?" Simmons asked. "I mean, that love truly does conquer all and as long as you have love you can be happy no matter what."

"Yeah, I guess. I was just kind of just thinking about how you got to use your ability or whatever and I have some awesome food." Grif laughed. "Oh and Simmons?"

"Yeah Grif?"

"Shotgun."

"FUCK!"

Favors

Grif woke up the next morning and rolled off the couch onto the floor. "Why can't I just be asleep forever..." Grif moaned.

Haley jumped off the couch and stood next to Grif, sniffing him curiously.

"Think you can bring me to the kitchen?" Grif asked. "I don't feel like getting up."

Haley let out a low growl that sounded suspiciously like a groan of annoyance. Haley then grabbed on to one of Grif's wings and started to drag him to the kitchen, but it took her five minutes to drag him much more than an inch.

"Fine I'll do it myself." Grif said as he got off the ground.

Grif slowly stumbled to the kitchen and saw Fluttershy feeding the group of birds from the wedding.

"Good morning Grif." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Mornin'." Grif grunted. "What are you doing?"

"They had a really long day yesterday so I am making sure they are well rested." Fluttershy said as she pet one of them on the head. "How was your sleep?"

"Pretty good. The worst part was waking up." Grif chuckled. "I'd do anything for a smoke right now."

"Smoke?" Fluttershy echoed.

"Something told me that you wouldn't know what that is." Grif muttered. "So what are you doing later?"

"What do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"I don't know, I was sort of thinking we could hang out or something."

Fluttershy's cheeks went a deep shade of red and she broke eye contact. "D-don't we already hang out?" Fluttershy asked bashfully.

"Well... technically I guess. But you're always worrying about something or other."

"I am?"

"Yeah, you are."

"I'm sorry."

"See what I mean?" Grif asked.

"Yes. Sor-" Fluttershy started but stopped when she looked in to Grif's eyes.

"And you did promise that you would take a day off after I went through that whole wolf ordeal."

"Okay." Fluttershy said. "Hanging out sounds... fun."

"Great." Grif laughed as he clasped his hooves together. "Let's get started."

"Get what started? I thought we weren't going to do anything."

"Congratulations, that was the first test and you have passed!"

Fluttershy started to laugh softly with Grif. Grif looked out the window and saw a place where the trees were fairly close together. "Say, you wouldn't happen to have a large net or a spare blanket, would you?"

"I think I might have another spare blanket." Fluttershy said, turning to go out in to the main room. "Why do you ask?"

"I have an idea." Grif said. "Grab the blanket and meet me out back."

"Okay." Fluttershy said, growing curious about what Grif was planning.

Fluttershy went up to her room to find a blanket while Grif went in the backyard to look around. He walked up to one of the trees and bucked it lightly, barely managing to shake the tree. He hit it a bit harder with the same result. He went to the next tree and bucked it, this time the tree didn't even shake.

"This should work." Grif smiled.

Fluttershy came out of the house and walked up to Grif with a blanket folded over her back.

"I have the blanket." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Awesome." Grif said, grabbing the blanket off of Fluttershy and unfolding it. "This should work."

Grif went to one of the trees and started to tie two corners together on the opposite side of the tree.

"What are you doing?" Fluttershy asked as Grif went to the other tree.

"I'm making a hammock." Grif chortled.

"Oh." Fluttershy said quietly. "This seems like a lot of trouble just so you can sleep." Fluttershy stated.

"You know the saying work hard, play harder?" Grif asked to which Fluttershy nodded slowly. "Well I prefer the saying don't work, rest indefinitely."

"That's... a nice saying." Fluttershy said slowly.

"It's a work in progress, but you know what I mean." Grif said as he finished tying the other two corners together.

Grif backed away from it and eyed it happily.

"Can't wait to test this baby out." Grif said, getting ready to hop on it. Then he heard a voice call out.

"Grif are you there? I need to talk to you."

"Dammit Simmons." Grif muttered. "I'll go see what he wants. Meanwhile why don't you make sure that this thing won't tear when anything sits on it."

Fluttershy nodded as Grif walked around the house to see Simmons.

"Whoa, what are you doing outside?" Simmons asked with mild surprise.

"Don't patronize me. What do you want?"

"Well I was just going to ask you for that suit since I doubt you will use it anytime soon."

"Why do you want it?" Grif asked.

"Well knowing you you'll either tear it or use it as a napkin." Simmons said. "Hell who am I kidding, you would probably eat it."

"Hang on I'll get it." Grif grunted. He went to the couch where the suit had been tossed and picked it up. Grif went back to the door and threw the suit over Simmons.

"Anything else I can do for you?" Grif asked, clearly beginning to get bothered.

"Well I can't really expect you to do more than two things in one day, can I?" Simmons asked as he took the suit off of his face and folded it onto his back.

"You know me all too well." Grif said sarcastically.

"So what were you doing outside anyways?" Simmons asked after standing in silence for a small amount of time.

"I was putting together a hammock up."

"You're the only person I know who will go outside just to sleep." Simmons said, placing his hoof on his face.

"You know what a wise man once said?"

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

"No. If I didn't wake up, I'd still be sleeping. Now go away." Grif said, slamming the door shut. "Might as well grab something to eat while I'm in here."

Grif went in to the kitchen and whipped up a sandwich and poured himself a glass of water. He quickly ate the sandwich and downed the water in a few seconds. After he put the plate on the counter he walked to the backyard to see Fluttershy asleep on the hammock with Angel curled up on her side.

"I'll make a layabout out of her yet." Grif smiled.

Abruptness

Abruptness

Sarge cracked his eyes open ever so slightly to see Applebloom slowly opening the door. Applebloom squeezed through the crack and backed up, closely followed by the other Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"What are you doing?" Sarge asked curiously, eyes still not visibly open.

Each of the girls let out a yelp and whipped their heads to Sarge. "Ah fergot ya slept in here." Applebloom said, heart still racing from the scare.

"Where else would I be sleeping?" Sarge said simply, now getting up and stretching. "So what are you doing in here so early?"

"We were just going to grab some rope and a piece of wood." Scootaloo answered.

"Do I even want to know what you'll be using it for?" Sarge asked with a raised brow.

"We were just going to set up a swing on one of the trees." Sweetie Belle said.

"Want to help?" Scootaloo asked.

"Sorry, putting a swing up sounds like a job that no man would want to do. Go get Simmons to help you."

"That’s okay, we'll just-" Sweetie Belle started to have Scootaloo put her hoof over Sweetie Belle's mouth.

"Gee Sarge, that sounds an awful lot like something Grif would say." Scootaloo said innocently.

Sarge immediately jumped into action, picking up a piece of wood. He walked straight towards Scootaloo, fixing her with a glare that would’ve put Fluttershy to shame. Scootaloo slowly backed away from Sarge until she had her back against the wall. She put her leg over her face defensively. After a few seconds Scootaloo lowered her leg and looked up at Sarge who was staring at her in confusion.

"What are you waiting for soldier?" Sarge grunted. "Let's get this show on the road."

"Ah go' t' rop'." Applebloom said with two long strands of rope in her mouth.

"Great!" Scootaloo said.

Sarge went to try to find a tree that was suitable for the swing. Once he found one, he bucked it, checking to see that it was stable enough. Applejack had come outside and watched them put the swing together in a matter of minutes from a distance.

"You four havin' fun?" Applejack asked after Applebloom hopped on the swing.

"We made a swing!" Applebloom said.

"Ah kin see that." Applejack smiled. "Sarge, think ya kin get one of th' others t' come on over here?"

"Why would I do that?"

"Well ah was just thinkin' about lettin' them decide on 'nother challenge we could do."

"Fine, I'll go get Grif. He's probably not doing anything anyways and it has been awhile since I physically harmed him."

"Yer a true inspiration Sarge." Applejack said with a smirk.

"I do try my hardest." Sarge said. "I'll be back in a couple minutes."

Sarge arrived at Fluttershy's cottage in a matter of minutes, and once he got to the door he stared at it. "Hey Dirtbag! Get out here I need to talk to you." Sarge said, knocking on the door.

Sarge stood by the door for a full minute before knocking on the door again. After he got no answer he tried to open the door just to find it to be locked.

"Dammit Grif get off your ass and get out here." Sarge yelled.

After receiving no reply he looked through the window to the main room to see that Grif was not on the couch. Sarge let out an annoyed moan and made his way to the back of the cottage to knock on the other door. As he rounded the corner he saw Fluttershy sleeping on the hammock with Angel and Grif laying against one of the trees with Haley curled up between his legs. Sarge walked up to Grif and stared at him quietly.

"It's almost enough to make me want to leave him be for once." Sarge murmured, turning around.

"Almost." Sarge proceeded to buck Grif in the side, causing him to scream in pain and fall sideways to the ground. Fluttershy's eyes snapped open and she shrieked loudly. Fluttershy attempted to jump out of the hammock but she just ended up cocooned inside of it instead.

"Son of a bitch!" Grif yelled, turning to Sarge. "What the fuck was that for?"

"You looked so peaceful I just had to do it." Sarge said sadistically. "Now come on, as much as it hurts me to say this I need your-"

"Help." Fluttershy squeaked.

Sarge went up to hammock and spun it once. It snapped back in to place and Fluttershy was clinging to the blanket for dear life. She slowly released her grip and slowly let herself back onto the ground, body trembling.

"Are you okay?" Grif asked.

"I-I think..." Fluttershy said, voice cracking.

Fluttershy burst into tears and ran inside her cottage and slammed the door shut.

"Wow Sarge, I knew you were an asshole, but even I have to say that that was too far even for you."

"I didn't mean to do it." Sarge grunted.

"You still did it though." Grif said turning towards the cottage.

Grif went up to the door and tried to open it to find it locked.

"Get out of the way." Sarge muttered, pushing Grif to the side.

Sarge knocked on the door loudly.

"Go away!" Fluttershy yelled.

"She never seemed like the over emotional type." Grif said sincerely. "I think you might have broke her."

"Shut it." Sarge said. Sarge turned to the door and knocked once again. "Can you come out here I need to tell you something."

"No, please g-go away." Fluttershy said.

"What are you planning on telling her?" Grif asked. "That you stomped on a bunch of bunnies on your way here?"

"No you idiot, I'm going to apologize." Sarge said flatly.

Grif ran to the door and started slamming on it.

"Fluttershy can you come out here for a second?" Grif asked in an unusually soft spoken voice.

"What are you doing?" Sarge asked.

"It's not everyday you hear one of Sarge’s fabled apologies. I really want to hear what one sounds like."

"Well if she isn't going to answer to me, why would you expect her to answer for y-"

The door slowly creaked open and Fluttershy looked through the crack, cheeks damp.

"What is it?" Fluttershy asked, voice barely audible.

"I just wanted to say, uh, sorry?" Sarge said unconvincingly.

"Well Sarge, that didn't sound forced at all." Grif said.

Sarge stared coldly at Grif and turned back to Fluttershy. "Listen, um, Fluttershy. I am sor-"

"Really." Grif said happily.

"Yes, thank you Grif." Sarge muttered sarcastically. "I am really sorry for making you cry. It won't happen again and I promise to take it easy on you from here on out."

Fluttershy sniffled and opened the door fully.

"Thank you for apologizing." Fluttershy said with a small smile.

"Glad that's over." Sarge said quickly, dragging Grif away. "Let's go Grif, we've got work to do."

Good Day

"Why the hell should I help you?" Grif said, kicking his leg free from Sarge.

"Because Simmons is probably doing something productive and I would rather not get the blues involved with anything that has to do with me." Sarge said. He then looked at him with a evil smile. "It also helps that I love seeing you miserable."

"Well sorry to burst your bubble but I already have plans for today."

"Did I hear that right?" Sarge muttered as he stopped in his tracks and shook his head violently in disbelief. "You, of all people, have plans?"

"Yeah I was going to hang out with Fluttershy and probably sleep the day away."

"Those aren't plans." Sarge grunted.

"Right, because you're the one to talk to about flawless plans."

Fluttershy poked her head out the door and stared curiously at the pair.

"Well plans change." Sarge said, starting to drag Grif again.

"What are you going to be doing?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"Applejack and I have a little thing going to see who is... well I don't know what it is we're doing exactly, but I sure as hell am not about to go and let her win without a fight."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" Grif asked. "I don't want to fucking compete."

"I don't want you to compete you idiot, I want you to think of things for us to do."

"Wait so let me get this straight." Grif blinked. "You want me... to make competitions for you and Applejack to compete in?"

"Yeah, your point?" Sarge asked bemusedly.

"Nothing." Grif coughed. "Sure why not, I guess I could do that."

"It wasn't your choice anyways, but at least now I won't have to drag you."

"Should I come too?" Fluttershy asked.

"Nah you stay here. Today is your day off, remember?" Grif stated with a smile.

Fluttershy nodded slowly as she met Grif's smile with her own.

"I think I'll be back pretty soon so just, well, do nothing I guess."

"Okay." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Alright so what kind of challenges should I make you guys do?" Grif asked as he started towards Sweet Apple Acres."

"They have to be an actual challenge for one." Sarge said as he hit Grif on the head. "Napping isn't a challenge so you can't make us do that. Do things that are hard to do that I wouldn't normally do. In other words tell us to do things you would never do.""

"Fine, I'll try to think of some stuff on the way." Grif muttered as he rubbed his head.

They quickly arrived at the farm to see Applejack tilling the soil with Big Mac, while the girls were still playing on the swing.

"Howdy Grif." Applejack greeted with sweat beading down her face.

"Hey." Grif greeted back.

"It's awfully nice of ya t' come on out here on yer own time."

"Thanks I guess." Grif said. He turned to the work horse who continued working silently. "Big Mac right?"

"Eeyup." Big Mac grunted as he continued tilling the dirt.

"Get any ideas 'bout some competitions?" Applejack asked.

"I have a few, can I just talk to you for a second?" Grif asked as he avoided Sarge's eye contact.

"Ah suppose." Applejack said.

"What do you have to say to her?" Sarge asked.

"That would ruin the surprise." Grif tutted as he walked away from Sarge with Applejack.

"Watcha want t' talk about Grif?" Applejack asked once they were out of Sarge’s hearing range.

"Just want to run through some challenge ideas with you."

"Alright, what didja have in mind?"

"First off what challenges have you guys done before?"

"Well, the first thing that started it all was me beatin' Sarge at an eatin' contest, but he got two points for buckin' apples and fightin' the timberwolves."

"Damn, he's in the lead?" Grif muttered. "Alright, now what are some of your special talents?"

"Special talents?" Applejack asked, tapping her chin lightly. "Well ah suppose ah'm good at cookin', and ah'm pretty good at herdin' critters."

"Great." Grif said with a smirk. "Let's go get started then, shall we?"

Applejack nodded and they made their way back to Sarge who was standing idly, watching Big Mac work.

"Okay, let's get this started so I can get home quickly."

"What makes you think it will be over quick?" Sarge asked.

"Oh no reason." Grif chuckled. "Let's get to the inside of the house for the first challenge."

"Inside? I told you no napping you dumbass."

"Don't worry Sarge I would never let you do something as artistic as napping."

"Then what're ya gunna make us do?" Applejack asked.

"For the first challenge you two are going to cook me up a little snack." Grif said.

"What?" Sarge exclaimed. "You must be out of your mind if you think I'm going to cook you anything."

"You told me you wanted a challenge. Well I'm giving you one." Grif chortled.

"Yeah, but I said they needed to be something that we would be even in. Something either both of us are good at or both of us are bad at."

"Actually Sarge, you told me to make you do things that you would never do." Grif chuckled. "You never said anything about me telling you to do things that you and Applejack were either good or bad at."

Sarge's entire body trembled in anticipation as he got ready to beat Grif to his ass for the second time that day.

"It's either you do this or you give up and give her a point by default." Grif quickly added.

"Now hang on there, ah don't think ah kin do a challenge if ah have th' upper hoof." Applejack said.

"You guys asked me to come here and give you guys something to do.” Grif said as a smile crept onto his muzzle. “Well I went out of my way on my own time to come here and give you something to do, so as far as I'm concerned whoever forfeits first gives the other a point."

Applejack shared a glance with Sarge. "He has a point." Applejack said. "We did make him come over here."

"This doesn't exactly seem fair." Sarge grunted.

"It isn't." Grif snickered. "Now hurry up I'm starting to get hungry."

Sarge grumbled as he slowly walked towards the house, Applejack quickly following his lead.

"I can just tell this is going to be a good day." Grif said before walking after them.

The Hardest Challenge

"You better have thought up more than just one competition." Sarge muttered as he opened the door.

"Alright, what else did you say you were good at? Herding or whatever? We'll do that after if you want Sarge."

"What about something that I'm good at?" Sarge muttered.

"Well the only thing you're good at is trying to kill me." Grif replied. He turned to Applejack and raised his brow. "And I don't think she seems like one to kill someone for no reason."

"Lucky you." Sarge grunted.

"Let's get started shall we?"

"Ah'll start." Applejack said as she grabbed a tray from beside the oven.

"Are you as excited as I am Sarge?" Grif asked.

"What the hell do you think?" Sarge muttered.

"It's all going according to plan then." Grif smiled.

After a few hours Applejack pulled the tray filled with pastries out of the oven and placed it on the table. Grif stared at them briefly before shrugging and popping one in his mouth.

"These are good." Grif said thoughtfully as he threw another in his mouth. "What are these?"

"Bite sized apple tarts. They're mah own special recipe." Applejack beamed.

"Well, you're up next Sarge." Grif said as he funneled the tray of tarts into his mouth.

Sarge did not budge, instead he continued to glare at Grif who was giving him a smug look.

"What are you waiting for?" Grif asked.

"This is a lose-lose situation for me. Either I cook well enough for you to give me the damn point, or I give up and Applejack gets the point."

"Well if you don't think you're up to it..." Grif coughed.

"There is no challenge that I won't do."

"Chop chop then Sarge, I am growing impatient." Grif said with glee.

"You two, leave." Sarge grunted as he pushed Applejack and Grif towards the door.

"But I wanted to watch you cook." Grif said sarcastically.

Sarge slammed the door and Applejack looked at Grif.

"Ya shouldn't egg him on like that." Applejack said.

"If you were me you would take any chance you could to get him back."

"Do ya think he has a chance?" Applejack asked after a brief moment of silence.

"None at all, that's what is making this so perfect."

"D'ya always treat each other like this? Ya'd think that you would have a decent level of respect for one 'nother after all ya've been through togeth-."

"I'm just going to stop you right there." Grif said, shaking his head slightly. "We haven't gone through anything together. It's always been me thrown in front and used as a meat shield to let them run."

"Whadya mean by that?" Applejack asked.

"I'll just let Sarge tell you later, I'm sure he would love to tell you about his oh so fond memories."

Roughly an hour later, Sarge emerged from the kitchen and put an extremely burnt... something... in front of Grif. Grif took a fork and broke off a piece of it and bit it.

"It's not bad, actually." Grif said.

"Are you joking?" Sarge asked.

"Yes, it's fucking awful." Grif chuckled. "Applejack wins, we're done here."

"That was only one competition." Sarge yelled.

"Yeah... payback is a bitch, isn't it Sarge?"

"Yeah, now I'm about to get mine." Sarge muttered, getting up

"Sarge, what'd he mean by payback?" Applejack asked.

Sarge stopped dead in his tracks before he hit Grif, turning back to Applejack with a blank expression.

"Well seeing as he probably won't tell you I will. Ever since I got drafted Sarge has made my life a living hell. He's shot me, hit me, yelled at me and almost all of his plans involve me dying or, in the very least, crippling me.

"Sarge, is that true?" Applejack asked.

"Yeah but look at him, he needs to have sense knocked into him." Sarge protested.

"And get this, Sarge made Fluttershy cry and he apologized instantly without a moment’s hesitation." Grif said.

"That's because I have standards for who I beat, like you and the blues." Sarge said seriously. "Girls are fragile and weak and have to be treated like so."

Applejack's eyes flared and she bucked Sarge in the jaw.

"Son of a bitch." Sarge grunted. "What was that for?"

"Fragile and weak?" Applejack asked with a certain fire in her eyes.

"Er, that is, I meant-"

"Oh this is just perfect." Grif through bouts of laughter.

"Shut it." Sarge and Applejack said together, sobering Grif immediately.

"Now Sarge, this is what has t' happen." Applejack muttered. "Ah want you to apologize to me and more importantly, ah wantcha t' apologize t' Grif."

"What?" Sarge yelled. "I'll say sorry to you, but there is no way I'm apologizing to that sack of shit."

"Well Sarge, it seems to me that there is one challenge that you won't do." Grif said.

Sarge glared at Grif for a hard ten seconds, he slowly turned to talk to Applejack when she lifted her hoof and pointed it at Grif.

"C'mon Sarge, after all ya put him through he at least deserves t' hear it once." Applejack said. "And if ya want t' keep on bein' respected by me n' mah family's eyes ya gotta do it."

"You have no idea what you're talking abou-"

Applejack pointed her hoof at Grif once again, but this time accompanying it with a hard look. Sarge lowered his head and looked at the ground with a sneer. He turned to Grif and slowly started to walk up to him. Grif sat on the ground, hooves over his mouth in an attempt to hide the biggest grin of his life.

Oh my god he is actually going to go through with it. Grif thought to himself.

"Grif." Sarge said hesitantly in an extremely forced tone. "I think there is something I-"

"Yes Sarge, what is it you want to tell me?" Grif cooed.

"I wanted to tell you-"

"Yes?" Grif interrupted innocently.

"Sorry." Sarge grumbled quietly.

"What was that? I didn't quite hear you."

"I... said... sorry." Sarge sputtered, pausing to gag after every word.

"One more time."

"You're pushing what little luck you have left..." Sarge said in a strained voice.

"Sarge." Applejack called out.

"God dammit." Sarge muttered. He looked up at Grif and cleared his throat. "I am sorry Grif."

Grif fell on his back with laughter, eyes starting to water because of his laughing.

"See what you did?" Sarge asked Applejack. "Now I'll never hear the end of this."

"This is... the greatest day... of my life... ever... of all time." Grif said breathlessly through his laughter.

Over at the Carousel Boutique Simmons shuddered violently and he looked around.

"What is it Simmons, are you alright?" Rarity asked.

"I think so." Simmons said. He walked up to the window and looked outside. "For some reason I feel like hell froze just froze over."

New Meat

"So." Tucker muttered as he sat at the kitchen table.

"So what?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Are we just going to sit around all day?"

"I don't know about you, but I have work to do today so you'll be by yourself for about ten hours."

"I didn't know you had a job. When we needed money for the Wonderbolts you asked the others for work instead of going to an actual job. You actually seemed more like a free... lan... cer."

"What's wrong?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Oh, nothing." Tucker muttered as he shook his head "But I just mean you seemed to be more of a... free agent I guess."

"I go on weather duty every once and a while. How else do you think I pay for everything?"

"I think you would hit me if I answered that." Tucker chuckled. "So what's weather duty?"

"It's exactly what it sounds like. The pegasi have the weather for Cloudsdale and the surrounding areas planned out and it's up to us - well not you because you would probably screw it up - to ensure that everything goes according to plan and there are no stray rain clouds or strong winds."

"So you push clouds around and get paid for it? That sounds easy."

"It's not. Some clouds are dangerous."

"Right." Tucker rolled his eyes. "Think I could help?"

"Here I thought you would just be the one to avoid work all day."

"Well as much as I am a fan of sitting around all day I need to find a way to make money. I'm tired of eating the same crap every day."

"I don't think anybody else could handle you."

"What, you want to be the only one who handles me?" Tucker laughed. "Bow chicka bow wow."

Rainbow Dash hit him in the side of the head, knocking him off the chair.

"Dammit what the hell Dash?"

"You're terrible." Rainbow Dash snickered.

"Yeah, but that's why you keep me around." Tucker said, getting off the floor. "So can I go or what?"

"I don't know, you would have to go see Inclement Storm about that. He is the one who is in charge of workers this time of the year."

"Alright where do I find this guy?"

"He's usually in the weather dome in Cloudsdale."

"Aren't you going to show me?"

"No, if I do I'll be late and I can't hold your hoof the entire time you're here."

"Spoilsport." Tucker pouted sarcastically.

"Just go to the Cloudaseum and ask around." Rainbow Dash groaned. "You should be able to get directions as long as you don't make a plot out of yourself."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"I seriously have to go so do whatever you want."

"Whatever I want?" Tucker asked.

"Everything except for whatever you're thinking now." Rainbow Dash said as she flew straight out the door.

Tucker flew over to the Cloudaseum and looked for someone to ask for directions. He came across a light blue female pegasus with spiky white and blue hair.

"Hey can you help me?" Tucker asked the pegasus.

"Whoa I like your hair." The pegasus said.

"Thanks I guess... who are you?"

"My name is Cloud Chaser. How can I help you?"

"Uh yeah, do you know where the weather building is?"

Cloud Chaser smiled and pointed to a building.

"Thanks." Tucker nodded.

"May I ask what you are going there for?"

"I'm going to try and get hired I guess."

"You guess?" Cloud Chaser asked with a raised brow. "I don't think that Inclement Storm would hire somepony as impulsive as you."

"Yeah well Rainbow Dash doesn't exactly have a wide variety of food at her place."

"Oh you're related to Rainbow Dash?"

"No I'm staying at her place."

"Oh... you mean like in the same room?"

"Yeah, listen thanks for the directions."

"No problem, um. I don't think I got your name."

"My name is Tucker." Tucker said as he turned to walk away. "Sorry but I have to get going."

"I should get going too." Cloud Chaser smiled. "It was nice to meet you Tucker."

Tucker made his way inside the building and looked around. There was a large dark gray pegasus with blue and gray hair sitting at a desk writing on a piece of paper. Tucker stared at him in silence, waiting for him to acknowledge he was there.

"Can I help you?" The large pegasus asked without turning to greet Tucker.

"Yeah do you know where Inclement Storm is?" Tucker asked.

"You're speaking to him." Inclement Storm said. He stopped writing on the paper and placed it in one of the desk's drawers. "What can I do for you?"

"Can I have a job?" Tucker asked without batting an eye.

Inclement Storm rubbed his temples and stared at Tucker with a hard look.

"You think you can handle it?" Inclement Storm questioned.

"Totally." Tucker replied.

"Boys get in here." Inclement Storm called out. "We have a new guy here."

Three male pegasi scrambled in from the other room and saluted.

"Didn't know I was signing up for the army for a second time." Tucker muttered. "Who are these guys?"

"Score." The light brown pegasus said. "The big gray guy is Hoops, and the other one is Dumb-Bell."

"Boys this is Tucker. He is our newest recruit so you'll have to run him through the drills."

"Wait, drills? Didn't I just get hired?"

"Listen kid, we can't just hand out jobs to every schmuck who comes in here thinking they're hot stuff."

"It's moving clouds, how much training could I need to do that?" Tucker asked.

"You're not from around here, are you?"

"I guess you could say that." Tucker admitted.

"C'mon Tucker, stick with us and we'll teach you all you need to know." Score laughed.

"How long is this going to take?" Tucker asked quietly.

"That depends on a lot of things."

"Like?"

"Like how fast you fly, how long you can fly for... that sort of stuff."

"You know. Endurance, strength and all that stuff." Hoops said.

"I'm good at that." Tucker shrugged.

"We'll see." Score chuckled. "Come in to the gym and we'll get started."

Kept Secrets

Church and Applejack arrived at the library to find that the door had been locked. Church knocked on the door and looked through the window.

"Twilight, you still here?" Church called out.

"Maybe she left t' go check on something." Applejack suggested.

"You think she would have left a note or something."

Church looked through the window once again and saw a note on the table.

"Looks like she did leave a note. It just happens t' be in th' wrong place." Applejack said.

"Why are you two out here?" Twilight asked as she came up from behind them.

"Well you seem to have locked us out." Church said.

Twilight walked up to the door and opened it. She turned to Church and raised her brow.

"Doesn't seem t' be locked no more." Applejack snickered.

"I could have sworn."

"Listen Church, do you mind waiting out here or going for a walk? I need to discuss with Applejack in private."

"Not a problem." Church said.

Church decided that rather sit on the grass he would go for a walk around Ponyville for a few minutes, and when he got back he saw Applejack leaving.

"Looks like I came back just in time." Church said.

"Ah guess ya did." Applejack laughed.

"What did Twilight need to talk to you about?"

"Oh just stuff." Applejack said as she broke eye contact. "See ya around Church."

"See you later." Church nodded and walked into the library.

"I'm glad you're getting along with the others." Twilight smiled.

"Why wouldn't I be? Your friends are... well better people than I've ever met."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well you guys aren't the lying slash killing types." Church chuckled.

"You're in a different world now." Twilight smiled.

Church thought about bringing up the fact that they were just in the Epsilon unit but decided not to.

"So what did you need to talk to Applejack about?" Church asked.

"She was just giving me some papers." Twilight said quietly.

"Papers? She didn't seem like the scholarly type to me. Then again I never really was a good judge of character. What did they say?"

"I don't think you would really be too interested in it." Twilight coughed awkwardly.

"That's okay, I'm used to having everybody I meet keep secrets from me."

"I'm sorry Church I would love to tell you but I am not allowed to."

"Listen you can just tell me you don't want to tell me, you don't have to say someone forbade you from doing so."

"I can tell you that it was Princess Celestia that didn't want me to tell you."

"Celestia? What does she have against me?" Church asked.

"That I do not know. Maybe it has something to do with you being from a different world."

"That would make sense." Church shrugged. "Oh well, if you can't tell me you can't tell me. I won't push the matter any further."

"Thank you." Twilight said happily.

"But if I were to push it further..." Church said jokingly.

"I would tell you no yet again." Twilight laughed.

"Damn. It was worth a shot. By the way Fluttershy may come by soon for you to check up on Grif again."

"Why would she do that?"

"Well if I'm right then Grif should be hospitalized right now."

"Hospitalized? Why would you think that?" Twilight asked stiffly.

"I'm not too sure on the details, but Applejack is having a competition with Sarge and they asked Grif to come up with something for them to test their mettle. Then Grif went out of his way to make Sarge lose a challenge and Applejack made Sarge escort Grif back home to settle their differences."

"That doesn't seem so..." Twilight trailed off as her mind processed this. "You really think it would be that bad?"

"From what I've seen Sarge loves pride more than anything else, so being essentially forced to lose wouldn't be his most favorite thing in the world. Most of the things he did when we were fighting each other - well I guess we kind of still are - but when we first started fighting, like before the whole freelancers thing"

"I see. Maybe we should go check on them..."

"Maybe we should." Church nodded.

Back in Cloudsdale, Tucker followed Score into the gym area where there were multiple stations set up.

"Alright here is the bench press, to the left is the leg press." Hoops said. "At the opposite end we have the trotmill and the chin up bar-"

"What does this have to do with pushing clouds?" Tucker asked.

"You have to keep in shape with this kind of job. You're flying for hours without letting up."

"Well then why isn't there anything here to work on your wings?"

"When you're flying you're not just relying on your wings, you need everything in working condition to be able to fly with precision." Score answered. "You're one of those grounders, aren't you?"

"What the hell is a grounder?"

"They're what we call the pegasi who ditch the skies and stick to the soil. It's a shame too, turning their backs on the most important ponies in Equestria. Without us pegasi the earth ponies crops would either flood or dry up and the unicorns would starve with them."

"Maybe they're like me and just thought flying isn't exactly something I thought I would be doing for a living."

"Well all that matters is that you're back to the clouds where you belong." Dumb-Bell laughed.

"Enough with the talking, get your flanks in gear." Inclement Storm called out from the other room.

"Man that guy seems like a dick." Tucker muttered.

"He kind of is, but he keeps everypony under control and makes sure they don't do anything stupid."

"And here I thought pushing clouds was going to be easy..." Tucker muttered. "Alright, what are we going to do first?"

"Pick a station and work on it until you drop." Score said as he ran up to the chin up bar.

"I got the dumbbells." Dumb-Bell said, running to the dumbbells.

"I got the bench press." Hoops said.

"I should have just stayed and slept in." Tucker muttered.

Spar

Tucker and the others had been exercising for an hour when Score walked up to Tucker who was still on the trotmill.

"You ready to start sparring?" Score asked.

"Wait, sparring?" Tucker asked. "You mean like fighting?"

"Yeah, it's fun and it's great exercise. You don't want to end up like some other grounders we know and not stay in shape."

"Fine. Am I going to be sparring you?"

"Nah, Dumb-Bell said that he wanted to test you since he is the best fighter of the three of us."

"Great." Tucker muttered. "Might as well I guess."

"Good to see you're just like us." Score smiled. "Yo Dumb-Bell, Tucker is up for it."

"Awesome, bring him over." Dumb-Bell called from the other side.

Tucker and Score made their way over to Dumb-Bell and Hoops who were setting up a series of mats made out of cloud on the ground. Once there was a big enough area Dumb-Bell motioned to one corner and made his way to the opposite one.

"Any specific rules I should know about?" Tucker asked.

"No rules. Except for the obvious no making the other go to the hospital."

"This keeps sounding better and better." Tucker groaned.

"Are you a stallion or a filly?" Dumb-Bell laughed as he cracked his neck. "I'll go easy on you."

"Oh I wasn't worried about that." Tucker smirked. "I was worried about you."

"Vain. I like that in sparring partners, makes it funnier when I beat them." Dumb-Bell beamed. "Call it."

"Ready." Hoops asked to which Tucker and Dumb-Bell both nodded. "Spar!"

Dumb-Bell flew straight at Tucker but he rolled out of the way and sprung to his feet. Dumb-Bell flew back around and tackled Tucker to the ground just to be thrown off in half of a second.

"Y'know Tucker I've been wondering where are you from?" Score asked as Dumb Bell threw a punch at Tucker which he promptly blocked.

"Long story." Tucker said as he countered with his own punch.

"It can't be that bad." Hoops said.

"No I mean it really is a long story." Tucker grunted as Dumb Bell punched Tucker's fore leg away and hit him in the chest.

"Nice hit Dumb Bell." Score laughed. "Well where have you been living? Anywhere around here?"

"I've been living near, what's that place called, Ponyville." Tucker said as he use his other fore leg to connect with Dumb-Bell's jaw.

"Good one Tucker." Hoops said. " I thought you just said Ponyville."

"I did." Tucker said.

Dumb-Bell punched Tucker in the throat, sending him crashing to the gorund.

"What the fuck dude, cheap shot." Tucker said, getting back up.

"Sorry." Dumb-Bell chuckled.

Tucker rolled to his feet and continued to spar.

"So. Ponyville." Hoops said.

"Yeah, what of it?" Tucker asked as he parried another hit.

"I know you said that you didn't live in Cloudsdale, but I didn't expect you to be living in that lame place."

"It's not so bad." Tucker said idly. He paused and shrugged. "Well I can't really say that since the only other person I hang out with is the girl I live with."

"Ohh, Tucker's living with a girl." Score teased. "Do you do each other’s hair while you're there?"

"What's her name?" Hoops asked curiously.

"Rainbow Dash." Tucker said simply, blocking another one of Dumb-Bell's punches.

"You've been staying with Rainbow Crash?" Hoops whooped. "That's hilarious!"

"Rainbow Crash?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah she's a real loser." Dumb-Bell laughed.

Tucker's front right leg started to spark as he hit Dumb Bell in the gut, which sent smashed him into the ground.

"That was awesome!" Dumb-Bell said as he sat up to continue fighting.

Tucker revved back his fore leg and punched again, this time there was the sound of thunder and Dumb-Bell crashed into the wall and became lodged in it.

"What in Celestia's name are you doing?" Score asked.

"I'm sparring." Tucker said.

"That was too cool." Dumb-Bell said shakily as he slowly managed to get out of the wall.

"You okay Dumb-Bell?" Hoops asked.

"Never better." Dumb-Bell said with a rough smile. "Where'd you learn to do that?"

"I didn't learn it from anywhere." Tucker said. "I kind of just know how to do it."

"Would you say it makes you a better fighter?" Hoops asked hesitantly.

"I guess so, yeah."

"Interesting. You guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

Score and Hoops smirked and nodded. Score lunged at Tucker and jumped on his back. Tucker quickly threw him off just to be tackled by Hoops.

"The fuck is this?" Tucker asked as he slammed Hoops onto the ground.

"A little thing we do around here is whenever a fighter beats the reigning champion everyone fights him." Hoops chuckled as he got off the ground.

"What's the point of that?"

"To take him down." Dumb-Bell laughed. "And it's pretty fun. But more importantly it's great exercise."

"You should have seen it when Dumb-Bell won. We slammed him so fast." Hoops said.

"It took you guys a good few minutes to do that."

"More like thirty seconds." Score laughed.

"What are we waiting for then? Get him!" Hoops jeered.

Back in the main room a pegasus came in and gave a note to Inclement Storm. He quickly read the note and rolled his eyes before throwing the note in the trash. He got out of the chair and opened the door to the gym and saw Tucker throwing Dumb-Bell on top of Hoops and Score.

"Not laughing now, are you?" Tucker laughed gleefully.

"What are you doing?" Inclement Storm muttered.

"Well me and Dumb-Bell sparred and I won."

"So they teamed up on you." Inclement Storm finished icily. Storm turned his attention to the three on the ground and glared at them. "What did I say about that?"

"You told us it was stupid." Dumb-Bell said flatly.

"I don't want to be down one worker just because you guys want to team up on someone. Especially when the one you're fighting is a new recruit."

"To be honest that was actually kind of fun." Tucker said

"Right." Inclement Storm rolled his eyes. "It turns out that one of the other workers got sick, so I'll need one of you three to take over."

"Why don't we let the new guy go out?" Score said. "He's pretty good for a grounder."

"Well for one he doesn't know the proper procedures, and another he doesn't look like he is used to training for hours a day."

"Just let me do it, I'll have my work done in record time." Tucker said.

"You know what? Go ahead. I don't even care who goes out there right now, just get it done."

Tucker nodded and made his way towards the door.

"And Tucker? Don't disappoint."

"I can't promise that much."

Theories

"Tucker, you're going to the Ponyville Library and working above it and the surrounding area." Inclement Storm said before Tucker left. "Just make sure to clean up the sky and don't hurt yourself. Come back when you're done and we'll give you your pay. If you perform the task to expectations, that is."

"I hope your expectations aren't too high." Tucker said jokingly.

"Don't worry they're pretty low. They always are for the new hires." Inclement Storm grunted. "Now get moving before I regret letting you do this."

Tucker nodded and made his way to the Ponyville library and saw Twilight and Church walking on a trail.

"What are you doing here?" Church asked as Tucker flew towards them.

"Well I got hired to clear the skies above Twilight's house." Tucker said.

"Wait... you got a job?" Church asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, so?"

"Why would you do that?"

"Well Dash doesn't have the biggest selection of food so I'm trying to get some cash so I can buy some actual food." Tucker shrugged.

"But an actual job? I would have expected you to try to sleep around for money." Church said. He thought about that for a second then smiled. "Never mind, I don't think anybody in their right mind would pay to sleep with you."

"Don't be jealous that you aren't getting any action."

"I'm willing to bet that you aren't either."

"What are you talkin’ ‘bout?" Tucker said in an annoyed voice. "I'm totally getting some."

"Interesting." Twilight hummed as she tapped her chin.

"What's on your mind?" Church asked.

"Tucker would you have describe yourself as a... how should I put this... sexually active male before you arrived here?"

"I guess so... I mean yeah, totally."

"And what food did you have when you were stationed in... Blood Gulch."

"Well it was mostly the same stuff I guess."

"Mhm. So you stayed in that place for a few years eating the same food? Did you ever complain about the food during that time?"

"No, and what do you think you are? My therapist?"

"I don't think you're getting a job for food." Twilight said suddenly, ignoring Tucker’s question. "I believe you're getting a job to release all of your pent up tension since you are not performing certain activities."

"What?" Tucker coughed. "No, no. No that's not it, I told you that I'm getting a job because I want to eat something else other than the same shit!"

"If I'm not mistaken, I'd say that Twilight just struck a nerve." Church chuckled.

"Fuck you, I need to go. I have a job to do." Tucker scowled flying off towards a group of clouds.

Twilight watched Tucker fly to the clouds, feeling guilty about what she’d just said to the stallion.

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything." Twilight said quietly.

"Are you kidding?" Church laughed. "I think you just made my day."

"Really?"

"When it comes to making people mad, Tucker is really hard. He’s had it coming for a long time."

"What'd you say about me being hard?" Tucker asked as he kicked a cloud into oblivion. "Bow chicka - as well as me coming - bow wow."

"See what I mean?" Church groaned. "Let's get to Fluttershy's place so we don't have to see Tucker release his tension."

Tucker glared at Church as he and Twilight continued down the trail. Suddenly he felt a tap on his shoulder and he whipped around with a vicious glare.

"Woah, what's the matter?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Oh, nothing. Don't worry about it." Tucker said with a nervous chuckle, shaking the glare off of his face. "Well I have some clouds to destroy."

"You got hired? Nicely done." Rainbow Dash smiled.

"Yeah. Wasn't a fan of the training exercises though..."

"Training exercises?" Rainbow Dash repeated. "What training exercises?"

"When I went in and asked for a job I got sent to the back with a couple guys..." Tucker said, stopping mid sentence.

"That's a good move. You need to keep limber for this sort of thing."

"Yeah, everybody keeps telling me this cloud stuff is hard but I still can't believe it." Tucker shrugged. "Also the guys training me didn't seem to like you very much."

"What are you talking about? Everypony in Cloudsdale loves me."

"Well Hoops called you Rainbow Crash and then Dumb-Bell-"

"You've been talking to those guys?" Rainbow Dash interrupted angrily. "Why in Equestria would you do that? They're the stupidest pegasi in all of Cloudsdale!"

"Calm down. It's not like I'm not hanging out with them or anything."

"Well... good."

"I actually fought Dumb-Bell too."

"You're just as stupid as them." Rainbow Dash said as she let out a disappointed sigh. "Dumb-Bell may be an idiot but he is supposed to be one of the best fighters around."

"He isn't that good. Actually, when he called you a loser I sort of kicked his ass into a wall."

"It's about time those guys got shut u- wait. You won?"

"Yeah."

"Did they do that stupid thing where they all jump you and hit you until you fall?"

"Sorta, except I was the one who threw their asses down."

Rainbow Dash suddenly threw herself over Tucker and kissed him.

"I can't wait to rub it in their faces when we get back." Rainbow Dash snickered as she brought herself away from Tucker. She looked at Tucker who was smiling at her. "What are you looking at?"

"I was beginning to think I was still on your shit list after I told you about those guys."

"Well, y'know... those guys are jerks and I'm happy to see them put in their place."

"How many times will I have to put them in their place before we take this further?" Tucker asked with a raised brow.

"Every time you bring it up I put it further down on my to do list."

"So it's on your to do list?" Tucker asked. "What else is on that list?"

"I don't know, I haven't hit you in a while so that might get pushed up higher. What do you think?"

"As much as I am a fan of that I think I'll pass." Tucker muttered, knowing full well the difference between the interpretations.

"Good to hear it. Let's get to work." Rainbow Dash said as she kicked a cloud.

Payment

Tucker and Rainbow Dash spent the next few hours pushing and kicking the clouds around the library out of the sky. Once they were near completion Rainbow Dash sat on a cloud and put her forelegs behind her head. Tucker followed her lead and did the same thing on the cloud adjacent to her,

"I'm surprised you didn't screw up." Rainbow Dash said as she yawned.

"It's. Just. Clouds." Tucker retorted lightly. "Stop trying to tell me it's hard to do when it's really not."

"Just take the compliment." Rainbow Dash said as she kicked the cloud away and flew up to Tucker. "You did pretty well out there."

"I'm just good at everything I do, that's all."

Rainbow Dash punched Tucker in the back of the head, causing the cloud to disintegrate. Tucker stopped himself before he slammed into the ground and glared at Rainbow Dash.

"The fuck was that for?" Tucker muttered.

"You don't have to be so cocky." Rainbow Dash chuckled.

"But it's one of my most notable traits."

"Among other things." Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes playfully.

"Thanks." Tucker winked.

"That wasn't a compliment." Rainbow Dash muttered.

"So what do we do now?" Tucker asked as he flew back up to Rainbow Dash.

"How about we pick up our pay and grab a bite to eat?"

"Cool with me." Tucker shrugged.

Tucker and Rainbow Dash flew to the weather control building and went to the front desk where there was a pink pegasus writing on a schedule, paying no notice to them.

"Where's the boss?" Tucker coughed.

"He is in the back office." The pony at the desk said happily, even though she had not looked up to see them. "It's located on the other side of the gym, you can't miss it."

"Come on let's hurry this up I'm starting to get hungry." Rainbow Dash said as she pushed Tucker ahead of her.

Rainbow Dash and Tucker made their way to the back office. Before Tucker opened the door Rainbow Dash stopped him.

"What's wrong?" Tucker asked.

"Nothing, he just doesn't like paying wages in front of others." Rainbow Dash explained quickly.

"Okay." Tucker said simply. "I guess I'll just wait out here."

Rainbow Dash nodded and knocked on the door.

"Come in Rainbow Dash." Inclement Storm said.

"How did he know it was you?"

"Once you've been here for a few weeks he can distinguish who is knocking by how hard they knock." Rainbow Dash explained.

"Hurry it up, I don't pay idle hooves." Inclement Storm muttered.

Rainbow Dash trotted into the room and shut the door behind her. Score, Hoops and Dumb-Bell approached Tucker with wide smiles.

"Hey man I heard about what's been going on! Why didn't you tell us?" Hoops asked.

"Tell you what?" Tucker asked.

"You could totally get any girl you wanted, so why her?" Score asked.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Tucker muttered.

"Like you don't know." Dumb-Bell chuckled.

Rainbow Dash came out of the room and smiled at Tucker as she tucked a small bag under her wing.

"Well if it isn't Rainbow Crash." Dumb-Bell greeted happily.

"Well if it isn't jerk, idiot and stupid." Rainbow Dash snapped.

"Hey keep it cool you guys." Tucker said. "I'm not good with bits and pieces."

"Just grab your money and we can leave." Rainbow Dash said snidely.

Tucker nodded and went into the back office to find Inclement Storm sorting through an assortment of bits.

"Sup." Tucker greeted, causing Inclement Storm to slowly look up at Tucker.

"Well done out there." Inclement Storm said quietly, tossing a small bag of bits at Tucker.

"So does that mean I'm hired or whatever?" Tucker asked as he looked through his pay.

"Or whatever." Inclement Storm nodded. "Just come back next week and I'll give you a schedule."

"Alright, thanks."

"Say Tucker, the boys were telling me about what you did to Dumb-Bell."

"Shit, right. Sorry about that." Tucker said as he rubbed his neck nervously. "And sorry about the wall."

"Don't worry about the wall, it is easily replaceable." Inclement Storm laughed roughly. "As for Dumb-Bell... that kid can take a thrashing so no worries about him either. But they told me they saw lightning shoot out of your hoof when you hit him, is that on the nose?"

"Yeah I can sort of use lightning or whatever." Tucker said, making a small spit of electricity shoot out of his hoof.

"Interesting." Inclement Storm said. "Maybe you can handle some of the worse off areas of the sky with ease then."

"What do you mean?"

"There are some clouds out there that are filled with an unnatural electric current and none of the others can push it without suffering from severe burns. Maybe since you seem to be able to manipulate lightning you could do it. What do you think?"

"Does it pay more?"

"I like you." Inclement Storm extended his hoof and laughed, this time wholeheartedly. "Yes, it will pay more."

"Then I'm in." Tucker said, shaking Inclement Storm's hoof.

"Glad to hear it. Now get out of my office." Inclement Storm said, his voice immediately removing any trace of his laughter.

Tucker nodded hesitantly and walked out and found no sign of Rainbow Dash. Hoops and Score were off exercising while Dumb-Bell just sat near the door.

"Where's Dash?" Tucker asked.

"She left after you went in. Something about us being idiots." Dumb-Bell shrugged.

"Great." Tucker muttered. "I guess I'm going to go."

"See you next time Mr. Crash." Score called out.

"How about you guys just stop calling her that?" Tucker said forcibly.

"We're just kidding around." Hoops said.

"I've only heard you guys call her that a few times and it's already annoying me."

The three guys looked at each other and then back to Tucker.

"Tell you what, you're a good guy so we'll try." Score said.

"But we can't promise anything." Hoops finished.

"If I hear you call her it again I'll slam you into the ground again." Tucker warned.

"We'll be ready for it next time." Hoops said.

"Sure you will. See you guys later." Tucker said as he left the gym.

Tucker flew back to Rainbow Dash's place expecting her to be there. He opened the door and dropped the pouch of money on the table, when suddenly pain shot through the back of his head and he collapsed into an unconscious heap.

Words

Tucker slowly opened his eyes and found himself in a dark room, the only sound he could hear was that of his heartbeat. He slowly sat up and rubbed the back of his head.

"Not again." Tucker muttered.

The door to the room swung open and a burst of light poured in which burned Tucker's eyes.

"About time you're awake."

"Who are you?" Tucker asked.

A blind shot up from a window allowing the dim light of the sunset to enter. Tucker did not shield his eyes but rather saw Rainbow Dash giving him a harsh glare.

"Why did you knock me out?"

"You being knocked out is the least of your concerns." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Tucker groaned. "This isn't another nightmare is it?"

"For me it is!" Rainbow Dash yelled.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about what you've been telling everypony in Equestria."

"I haven't talked to anybody, what the hell are you on about?"

"If you haven't talked to anybody then how does everybody know about you living at my place?"

"Well maybe I talked to one chick, but why are you mad that I told her that I've been staying here?"

"Nopony has ever seen you around Cloudsdale or Ponyville before. And since they know we aren't family but you are staying with me for some reason, they assume that we've been sleeping together."

"Well we sort of have been..."

"That's not what they're insisting." Rainbow Dash snapped.

"What are you- oh." Tucker facehooved. "Oh fuck."

"Now thanks to you everypony in Cloudsdale thinks I'm easy since I sleep with somepony nopony knows."

"I know you're mad at me, but can you stop with the somepony and nopony stuff? I'll know what you mean if you just say somebody and nobody."

"Tucker this is serious my reputation is at stake." Rainbow Dash yelled.

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"I don't know."

"Probably should have thought of that before knocking me out. Now if you calm your shit, I'll find a way through this."

"We'll find a way through this." Rainbow Dash corrected.

"So you're not pissed at me anymore?" Tucker asked hopefully.

"No I'm still mad, it's just that if I leave it up to you you'll just make it worse."

"So then what are we going to do?"

"I guess go to Cloudsdale and tell everybody that we aren't sleeping together."

"But we are." Tucker chuckled.

Rainbow Dash hit Tucker in the back of the head again.

"Keep it up and I'll die from a brain hemorrhage."

"I can always dream." Rainbow Dash muttered before flying back to Cloudsdale.

"And here I was beginning to hope that I hadn't found a girl that was batshit crazy." Tucker said under his breath before following Rainbow Dash.

Over at Fluttershy's cottage, Grif and Fluttershy were resting on a tree. Grif felt something touch him and slowly opened his eyes, finding Fluttershy resting her head on his lap, snoring lightly as the wind seemed to dance through her mane. Grif laid his head back on the tree and let out a content smile before closing his eyes.

"Grif, you here?" Church called out.

Grif's eyes snapped open and he rubbed his face as the pain of the beating began coming back to him. Fluttershy slowly got up and stretched before letting out a soundless yawn. Fluttershy looked at Grif whose face was displaying obvious discomfort. She opened her mouth to ask if he needed anything, but Grif looked up at her and gave a quick nod.

"I'll go see what they want." Fluttershy said quickly.

"Okay." Grif muttered.

Fluttershy walked to the front of her cottage and coughed quietly to attract Twilight's attention.

"There you are, we thought you had gone somewhere since you weren't inside." Twilight said with a sweet smile. "Is Grif around?"

"Yes he is resting in the back." Fluttershy replied.

"Oh, did you treat him already?"

"I wanted to but he insisted it could wait until tomorrow."

"He doesn't want anybody else to do anything?" Church asked. "His laziness knows no bounds."

"It's just that after he got bit by the timberwolves I promised not to do anything for a day if he made it through."

"And you would rather see him in pain than break that small promise?" Twilight asked.

Fluttershy frowned and stared at the ground silently for a minute.

"Well I know I for one would rather see him in pain." Church said in an attempt to break the silence.

Fluttershy looked up at Church and narrowed her eyes at him.

"He's just joking." Twilight said quickly.

I am? Church thought to himself.

"I don't know, I think he is happy just to sit around for today, and I really don't want to break my promise." Fluttershy said, clearly torn between her options.

"Well I didn't make any promise. How about I have a look at him, that way you don't have to worry about him and you can keep your promise."

"I would like that." Fluttershy smiled. "Come this way."

Twilight looked at Church and nodded before hastily following Fluttershy.

"I wasn't joking though." Church said dejectedly before following Twilight.

As Twilight rounded the corner she saw Grif cough and give a half wave.

"Are you okay?" Twilight asked.

"You ponies sure do worry a lot." Grif snickered. "I've never been better."

"You certainly don't look that way."

"You know, I think on average I might have actually gotten more sleep before I came here." Grif yawned. "Ironic, don't you think?"

"Don't get that started again." Church said, his tone anything but amused.

"I don't suppose you guys will be leaving anytime soon?"

"Not until I've checked to make sure you're alright." Twilight said as she lifted one of Grif's legs.

"Say, how did you know I was like this?" Grif asked as Twilight examined the markings. "I didn't see Fluttershy leave to tell you guys anything."

"I kind of had a feeling Sarge would kick the shit out of you after you made him lose on purpose." Church said.

"It is obvious, isn't it." Grif chuckled.

"The good news is it isn't anything serious, it is mostly just light bruises. The bad news is that eye is starting to swell." Twilight said as she walked towards the door. "Fluttershy I'll need your help to find something to help with that."

Fluttershy looked back at Grif, awaiting his response. He gave a shrug and laid his head back on the tree.

"I'll stay with Grif and make sure he doesn't hurt himself while you're gone." Church said to Fluttershy.

Fluttershy smiled gratefully and quickly disappeared into her house to get something for his eye.

Gym

Fluttershy emerged from her house a few minutes later holding an ice pack in her mouth. She rushed over to Grif's side and placed it lightly over his eye.

"Thanks." Grif said quietly as he held the pack in place on his eye.

"So you just have to keep that on your eye for the next week." Twilight said as she closed the door behind her.

"A whole week?" Grif muttered. "Do you have any duct tape or glue that way I don't have to hold it?"

"All you do is lay down all day so why would you need any of that stuff?" Church asked.

"Hey you're right!" Grif laughed. "God it's good to be me."

"How can you say that when you look like that?"

"It's easy when I have an awesome friend to hang out with, isn't that right Fluttershy?"

Church looked at Fluttershy who had her hair covering her face as she blushed deeply and nodded.

"Don't mind her, she's just being modest." Grif said. "She's really fun to hang out with."

"You think I'm fun to hang out with?" Fluttershy asked happily.

"Yeah. I tried getting Simmons to relax once and I swear he started taking notes when I was explaining it to him. But not you, you just went straight to relaxing and that takes talent."

"I suppose we'll be getting out of your hair for now, if you start to feel a lot of pain do not hesitate to come and see me." Twilight said with a smile.

"Alright, thanks. I guess." Grif nodded as he got up and started to slowly make his way inside. "Come on Fluttershy, I'll let you in on my little trade secret on how to work negative days."

"Okay." Fluttershy said quietly as she followed Grif into the house.

Twilight turned to Church who was watching the sun disappear over the horizon. He let out a deep sigh and started the walk back to the library.

"Are you okay Church?" Twilight asked.

"You're asking a guy who was forced to go crazy if he's okay." Church chuckled dryly. "But yeah I am, why?"

"I don't know you just seem... distant."

"How so?"

"Ever since you saw Tex again you seem to just drift off."

"Do you mind doing me a favor?"

"Sure."

"Stop talking about it." Church said.

"I just want to help." Twilight said softly.

"You can't help that which can't be helped." Church muttered before adding a bleak smile. "Why the sudden interest in the way we think?"

"I just find you fascinating that's all." Twilight said idly.

"You find me fascinating?" Church said.

"Er, that is, I just meant-"

Church let out a small laugh which caught Twilight by surprise.

"What's so funny?" Twilight asked.

"Just seeing you get so tongue tied after I asked you a simple question. I just mean how do you find me fascinating. Is it because I'm from outside the unit?"

"Partially." Twilight admitted with a smile. "Also how you make yourself out to be weak when you can take all of this in stride."

"I have to keep it in stride. If I didn't my mind would be filled with madness." Church sighed deeply. "Well, I guess it already is, but at least it isn't what's controlling me."

"That's one way to look at it I suppose." Twilight nodded. "How about we go grab something to eat? My treat."

"Sure. I never realize I'm hungry until someone brings it up."

"It's because you focus too much on one thing and forget about every other detail."

"That happen to you a lot?" Church asked.

"More than it should." Twilight giggled. "Let's go so we can get back before it gets too dark."

Tucker and Rainbow Dash arrived at Cloudsdale and settled on the clouds before quickly looking around.

"Alright so where are we going to get started?" Tucker asked.

"Well I guess we should find who started the rumors and tell them to stop."

"The other guys should be able to help us."

"How, the only other one of them that can fly is Grif and he seems like the lazy guy."

"No not those guys. I mean Hoops, Score and Dumb-Bell."

"You want to get those rejects to help? They're probably jumping at the chance to ruin me."

"Yeah they didn't sound like they liked you very much." Tucker said with a bleak smile. "What the hell happened between you guys anyways? They seem to be alright guys..."

"They're just... I'll tell you later." Rainbow Dash grunted. After a few seconds she thought through her options and sighed. "Alright, let's go. But you do the talking."

"You want me to do the talking? What was that stuff about me making it worse?"

"If I talk to them I know they'll go out of their way just to annoy me."

"Okay but I still may be a bit fuzzy after you put me in a coma."

"Sorry about that by the way, I didn't mean to hit you that hard."

"Whatever, I'm used to my team knocking me unconscious. Where do you think they are."

"They're probably still in the gym."

"Does that place ever close?"

"Yeah but employees can still go to the gym after hours to stay in shape."

Tucker nodded and they made their way to the weather building which they quickly entered.

"Hey Tucker, you here to work on your muscles?" Hoops said as Tucker entered the gym.

"Not exactly." Tucker said as Rainbow Dash walked through the doors and stood next to him.

"What's she doing here?" Score asked. "Shouldn't you two be, y'know."

"No, that's why we're here." Tucker said.

"Sorry we're not interested in any group-"

"You wish." Rainbow Dash snarled.

"Listen guys I'm going to need a favor."

"Depend what that favor is." Hoops said as he threw a basketball through a hoop.

"Who told you guys that I'm sleeping with Dash?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Well we're not actually sleeping sleeping together, we're just, well, sleeping together."

"Mind running that by us again?" Score asked.

"We're not fucking, she just has nowhere else for me to sleep. We're trying to find out how this rumor started so we can try and fix this."

"Well, I'm not too keen on helping Crash but... what do you guys think?"

"He's cool." Dumb-Bell nodded.

"It was Cloud Chaser." Hoops said.

"Cool. Do you know where she is now?" Tucker asked.

"Probably at the Mile." Score shrugged.

"What's that?"

"It's Cloudsdale's nightclub." Rainbow Dash said quietly as she walked out the door. "Come on let's go."

"This place has a club?" Tucker asked with a smile as he caught up with Rainbow Dash. "Why didn't you tell me this before?"

"We're not going to be staying there for long. We go in, talk to Cloud Chaser, then get out."

"But-" Rainbow Dash turned to Tucker with narrowed eyes.

"Killjoy." Tucker muttered.

Clubbing

Tucker and Rainbow Dash arrived at a tall building that had a fountain spouting multicolored water and a tall, broad shouldered pegasus standing out front.

"We're here." Rainbow Dash said.

"Really? By the looks of it I could have sworn it was an information kiosk." Tucker said sarcastically.

"Focus." Rainbow Dash said as she trotted up to the building and nodded at the pegasus.

"Dash! Haven't seen you around for awhile." The pegasus said with a smile as he stepped to the side. "Go on in."

"Thanks Bouncer." Rainbow Dash said as she slowly started walking into the club.

Tucker started to walk with her but Bouncer blocked him.

"Name?" Bouncer asked firmly.

"Tucker."

"This is Tucker?" Bouncer asked with a rough laugh. "I kind of expected you to be taller. Oh well since you're with her, go on."

Tucker nodded and made his way into the building and he stood next to Dash. Rainbow Dash turned to him as he gave the building a quick once over. There were hundreds of pegasi scattered around the premises. Some were on a floor of clouds that kept switching colors in tune with the music that was booming throughout the room.

"Well?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"This place is loud." Tucker said. "I like it."

"Don't like it too much or you'll end up besmirching its good name." Rainbow Dash smirked.

"Oh ha-ha." Tucker muttered.

"We should split up." Rainbow Dash said as she looked around the club. "You look around down here I'll look on the second floor."

"Where should I start?"

"Anywhere. Let's just try and finish this quick."

"Bow chi-" Tucker started before Rainbow Dash struck him across the back of the head and started towards the staircase to go to the second floor. "Son of a bitch."

Tucker shrugged off the pain in his head and made his way to the dance floor to start looking around. After a few minutes he decided to make his way to the other side of the room.

"Tucker!" Someone called out, barely audible over the sound of the music.

Tucker whipped around to see Cloud Chaser waving him over from the bar. Tucker smiled and quickly made his way through the thicket of ponies to get to Cloud Chaser.

"Good to see you again, how's it going?" Cloud Chaser asked as Tucker made his way past the group of clubbers.

"Pretty good. Well for me at least."

"What's wrong?"

"You know how I told you I was staying at Dash's place?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Well I meant exactly what I said. I'm just staying with her, nothing is happening. Now she's worried about her reputation being ruined because I told you that I was staying with her."

"Sorry, I guess I misinterpreted what you meant." Cloud Chaser said with a look of guilt. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well, maybe start telling the people you told that we aren't doing it and it should be fine."

"So you're not a fan of your new reputation?" Cloud Chaser asked as she took a drink out of her glass.

"Of course I am, but if this doesn't clear up I probably won't have a place to stay soon."

"Okay I'll tell everypony that you two aren't a couple." Cloud Chaser said with a smile. "Hey, how about I buy you a drink?"

"I don't think Rainbow Dash would like that." Tucker laughed.

"I thought you said you guys weren't together."

"To be honest I have no idea what the fuck it is." Tucker admitted. "I guess it's sort of just..."

"Complicated?"

"Pretty much."

"Maybe if you have a little to drink you can think a bit clearer." Cloud Chaser said as she waved the bartender over.

"I already told you that I shouldn't."

"Come on, I feel bad about it. What's one little drink?"

Tucker looked around and found no sign of Rainbow Dash so he turned back to Cloud Chaser and nodded.

"Great. What'll you have?" Cloud Chaser asked as she scooted to the next chair over to give Tucker a place to sit.

"Surprise me."

"Three cliff-divers here." Cloud Chaser said to the bartender who gave a quick nod and started to mix a few drinks.

"Three?" Tucker asked.

"In case Rainbow Dash comes by you'll need something to calm her down." Cloud Chaser giggled.

"Good thinking." Tucker chuckled as the bartender gave him a drink.

"Tucker I know we barely know each other, but how would you like to join the Mile High Club?"

Tucker spat out his drink and dropped the glass on the floor.

"Are you alright?" Cloud Chaser asked concernedly.

"Did you just ask what I think you just asked?"

"I just asked if you wanted to go to the second floor to the bar where the drinks are endless and the music is louder. This is the Mile Low Club where you have to pay for the drinks, whereas the Mile High Club is the VIP area that you can only join if somepony you know invites you."

"Oh." Tucker choked. "Then what are you doing down here then?"

"I like to mingle." Cloud Chaser shrugged.

"Maybe I'll come back later and join up if Dash doesn't kill me by then." Tucker sighed.

"Awesome." Cloud Chaser said with a smile. "How about we get you another drink?"

"Sounds good." Tucker said as the bartender gave them another round of drinks.

"Tucker, what did I say?"

Tucker turned around to see Rainbow Dash giving him another harsh look.

"You told me to go in, talk to Cloud Chaser and then leave." Tucker said before taking a swig of his glass and wiping his mouth. "I'm on step two right now."

"Drinking isn't a classification of talking." Rainbow Dash muttered.

"Come on, loosen up Dash." Tucker said. "I found her and she said she'll try and clear it up. As far as I'm concerned our job is done and we have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, the night is still young so why not have a little fun?" Cloud Chaser asked, holding up a glass to Dash.

"Okay, but only because I could use a break after flying around all day." Rainbow Dash said with a smile.

"As an apology to the both of you I'll pay the tab." Cloud Chaser said as she waved the bartender back over.

"Only a couple drinks though, then we really should be going." Rainbow Dash said.

"Only a couple drinks." Tucker nodded.

Details

Tucker's eyes snapped open as blood rushing to his head causing him to cry out in pain. After a few seconds he managed to slowly get to his hooves, finding himself in the middle of a field of grass.

"Can I wake up just once and actually find myself somewhere I'm not surprised to be?" Tucker muttered as he wiped his mouth.

Tucker heard a twig snap and he turned to see Fluttershy slowly approaching him with Grif not too far behind.

"Oh thank goodness you're alright." Fluttershy said as she went up to Tucker's side and helped him up.

"I'm not alright, I'm Tucker." Tucker said slowly.

"Maybe he isn't." Grif said.

"That was a joke." Tucker grunted. "What the hell am I doing out here?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing. I came out here to feed my bird friends and saw you here." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Then she woke me up saying that you looked hurt so I came to see someone other than me hurt." Grif yawned.

"Funny guy." Tucker said sarcastically.

"What is the last thing you remember?" Fluttershy asked.

"The last thing I remember was going to a bar and having a couple drinks."

"They have a bar here?" Grif asked happily. "Fluttershy we should totally go there one time!"

"I-I don't like clubs." Fluttershy whispered.

"Why not?"

"I've heard that they're loud and there are a lot of ponies there..."

"You've heard?" Grif repeated unsurely. "Have you never been to one before?"

Fluttershy shook her head slowly.

"That's too bad, they're fun." Grif said.

"Yeah, speaking of fun I think I'm going to be on my way. I need to find out what the hell happened last night so I can find out why I'm here."

"Are you sure you don’t need any rest?" Fluttershy asked, turning her attention back to Tucker.

"I'll get some rest once I get back to Rainbow Dash's place." Tucker said as he shakily flew away.

"You're going the wrong way dude." Grif yelled.

"I knew that." Tucker yelled back as he changed his course and made his way to Rainbow Dash's place.

It took Tucker longer than expected due to him being unable to locate her house. When he finally did, he crashed through the door and fell to the ground and found Cloud Chaser standing next to Rainbow Dash.

"Tucker you're back!" Rainbow Dash said.

"I am? Oh hey, I am! What happened last night?" Tucker asked.

"You don't remember?" Rainbow Dash asked with surprise.

"No, I really don't."

"Well after we had a couple of drinks you got talking about your... skills." Cloud Chaser said slowly.

"Yeah and I guess since we’d had quite a bit to drink, my interest piqued and I guess Cloud Chaser's did too..." Rainbow Dash said, trailing off.

"Wait, what? Did we do anything? Oh please tell me yes." Tucker begged.

"Yes we did."

"Awesome!"

"It's too bad that you missed it."

Tucker paused and caught his breath. He looked at her with an ashen expression and raised his brow.

"What's wrong?" Cloud Chaser asked.

"What do you mean I missed it?"

"Well when we were about half way back you sort of tried to show off some stunt and you ended up flying away from us." Cloud Chaser said quietly. "We thought you would follow us so rather than go back for you we kind of just went back to my place for the night and the rest... well you should be able to put the pieces together."

"I missed it?" Tucker yelled. "Oh god why?"

Cloud Chaser and Rainbow Dash burst out with laughter and fell to the ground laughing.

"Why are you laughing?"

"We didn't do anything." Rainbow Dash said as she wiped a tear out of her eye.

"Jokes on you I didn't believe you in the first place." Tucker smirked.

"I don't know, that yelling seemed pretty genuine." Rainbow Dash noted.

"What really happened then?" Tucker said, ignoring her comment.

"Well me and Cloud Chaser talked while you drank. I think me and her had maybe two drinks while you had about two dozen."

"You should have seen it." Cloud Chaser said. "You just kept hammering them back without stopping."

"Even more surprising was that you were still able to stand after all that and you even managed to start singing." Rainbow Dash said with a brief laugh. "Loudly."

"And off tune." Cloud Chaser added.

"I sang?" Tucker asked. "That doesn't sound like something I would do."

"It sounded like someone dragging their hooves along a chalkboard." Rainbow Dash shuddered.

"Screw you, my voice is awesome."

"Well the ponies in the club didn't think so, you sort of got kicked out for the night. When we went to go get you we found that you had sort of flown away without telling anybody anything." Rainbow Dash said. "I came back here expecting you to be here but you weren't so I went to sleep."

"You weren't worried?" Tucker asked.

"You can handle yourself."

"Yeah but I like it when you handle me."

"His mind never strays far, does it?" Cloud Chaser asked.

Rainbow Dash shook her head, both at Tucker’s question and in response to Cloud Chaser.

"What are you doing here if you didn't stay over for the night?" Tucker asked.

"Rainbow Dash decided that you had been gone all night so she would need somepony to help find you. She wanted to get one of her other friends to help her but I insisted it was mostly my fault for allowing you to drink so much. Since you're here I guess I won't be needed so I'll be on my way. And don't be afraid to look me up when you want to join the Mile High Club. That is assuming you're even allowed back in."

"I think he's going to want to wait a bit before he drinks again." Rainbow Dash said.

"Actually I could go for a drink right now."

Rainbow Dash and Cloud Chaser shared a quick glance.

"Please tell me you're kidding." Rainbow Dash said.

"Yeah, just give me a few days and I'll be ready to go." Tucker groaned as he felt his head ache come back.

"You sure found yourself a keeper there Dash." Cloud Chaser giggled as she left Rainbow Dash's place.

The Quest

Caboose awoke with a strong sense of pressure on his skull. He quickly rolled off the bed and let out a loud yawn. Pinkie peeked over the bed and smiled at the sight of Gummy attached to Caboose's head by his toothless mouth.

"What is it?" Caboose asked with confusion as he felt an object on his head. "Am I wearing a hat?"

Pinkie reached over and pulled on the item that was clutching Caboose to reveal her scaly friend.

"Gummy, my food is not head." Caboose said happily, hugging the baby alligator.

"You mean your head is not food." Pinkie said as she hopped towards the door.

"It isn't?"

Pinkie giggled until she saw a big circle on her calendar. She trotted back up to it and squealed.

"Is it a spider?" Caboose said, sitting straight back up.

"No it's the mailmare’s birthday today!" Pinkie said as she ran out of the room.

Caboose looked at Gummy and placed him back on his head as he followed Pinkie down the stairs and to the kitchen.

"Where are the blueberries?" Pinkie muttered to herself as she started shuffling through a cupboard.

"I am right here." Caboose said confusedly.

"No silly, I'm making blueberry muffins for the town mailmare. They're her favorite. Aha!" Pinkie said, pulling out a small container that had a picture of a blueberry on it. She quickly set to work on the muffins when the doorbell rang. "Oh, she's early. Can you go get that Boosey?"

"Okay." Caboose smiled as he trotted lazily to the door, opening it to find Twilight standing next to Church who was staring silently at him. "I didn't know you were a mailmare! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm not... Caboose?" Church asked dumbfoundedly. "Why is there a small alligator biting on you?"

"Oh this is just Gummy. He is my hat for the day." Caboose said as Gummy wagged his tail. "Would you like to hug him? He likes hugs."

"No thanks." Church said.

"Oh Twilight!" Pinkie said, her head peeking around the kitchen door. "Do you mind giving me a hoof? You too Church."

Twilight and Church turned to each other and shrugged as they walked towards Pinkie. "What do you need Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

"I have somepony coming over so I need your help while I work." Pinkie said as she reached in a cupboard and pulled out a large bag titled “Party Supplies”.

"Sorry I don't do that whole party thing..." Church said as he pushed the bag to the other side of the counter.

"Aw, please?" Pinkie pouted. "It would be really nice if you helped out."

Church rolled his eyes and pulled the bag back towards him and opened it. A flurry of balloons shot out and floated to the ceiling, followed by a shot of confetti. Church slowly looked up and looked at Pinkie bemusedly.

"Alrighty then, I'll just ask you to grab some of those balloons and-"

There was a sudden sporadic knock on the door and Pinkie's ears perked up and her nose crinkled.

"She's here!" Pinkie said. "Caboose, you let her in while we finish preparing."

"Okay!" Caboose said from the other room.

After a few minutes of setting up, Pinkie sent Church and Twilight to go check on Caboose. They soon heard yelling and rushed out to see a gray pegasus yelling at Caboose.

"Muffins!" The pegasus yelled.

"Cupcakes!" Caboose retorted.

"I said muffins!"

Caboose shook in anger and his pupils slowly started to grow in size.

"Both of you be quiet!" Church yelled, causing Caboose's eyes to return to normal. Church turned to the gray pegasus and raised a brow. "Who are you?"

"My name is Derpy." Derpy smiled, but it quickly faltered as she turned her attention back to Caboose. "And muffins are better!"

"What are you two arguing about?" Church asked quickly, trying to deter further arguing.

"She is saying that muffins are better when cupcakes are clearly the betterer ones." Caboose said sadly. "What do you think is better Church?"

"I am not going to answer that." Church said. "Why do you two even care?"

"Because she is wrong."

"No you're wrong." Derpy said as she stuck out her tongue.

"Take that back!" Caboose said.

"Make me!" Derpy said.

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Church yelled, causing Derpy and Caboose to shrink down and stare at him. "Jesus, it's like you're both six."

"I'm way older tha-"

"Shut. It. Caboose." Church said as he took a deep breath and let out a sigh.

Pinkie came out of the kitchen with a fresh tray of blueberry muffins that she placed on the table. The delicious smell quickly filled the room and surprisingly calmed Church down.

"What's everypony talking about?" Pinkie asked as she placed a muffin on a plate and gave it to Derpy.

"They're arguing about muffins and cupcakes." Twilight said.

"Ohh, that's a toughie." Pinkie said, scratching her head. "I really like cupcakes, but muffins have such a great taste too."

"Please don't encourage them." Church groaned.

"What about a muffcake?" Pinkie asked quickly.

"That sounds like the greatest thing ever!" Caboose exclaimed as he jumped up and down in excitement. "I want one!"

"We should have thought of that sooner." Derpy said giddily. "Why didn't we think of that?"

"I could name a few reasons." Church chuckled.

"A-are you making fun of me?" Derpy asked sadly.

"Church..." Twilight started.

"What?" Church asked as he saw Derpy's eyes. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that I just meant that if they weren't arguing they could have thought of it. Here's an idea, why don't you just put icing on a muffin?"

"Are you crazy?" Derpy yelled.

"Yeah Church, you can't just do that!" Caboose exclaimed.

"Why do I even bother with you people..." Church muttered.

"Do you know how to make a muffcake Pinkie?" Twilight asked.

"Yes, but we are going to need to get a lot of ingredients for it. They're also really hard to find." Pinkie replied as she tapped her chin.

"That would be the best birthday food ever!" Derpy said.

"I think I got that brain thing." Caboose exclaimed.

"An idea?" Twilight asked.

"No." Caboose shook his head. "Wait. Yes!"

"You have an idea? I really want to hear what your brilliant plan entails." Church scoffed.

"It is time to go on the quest for the greatest thing ever!"

Convincing

"Well Caboose, I hope you have fun with that." Church said mockingly.

"Aren't you coming with us?" Caboose asked sadly.

"No, I have no interest in helping you do this."

"But-"

"But nothing." Church said as he made his way to the front door. "You coming Twilight?"

"I'm staying." Twilight stated.

"Suit yourself." Church shrugged as he walked through the door.

"I wanted Church to come too." Caboose said sadly.

"He seems like a meanie." Derpy said.

"He isn't a meanie, he is my best friend!" Caboose exclaimed.

"I'll go talk to him." Twilight said sweetly. "Just stay right here and get ready, okay?"

Caboose nodded his head quickly with a wide smile on his face. Twilight trotted out the door and saw Church walking away at a slow pace, seemingly enjoying the scenery. She quickly caught up to him and coughed to get his attention.

"Decided not to go I take it?" Church asked with a smile. "Wise move, you would’ve probably ended up regretting it."

"No I'm still going. I came to try and convince you to go too."

"I don't want to go with him. This whole thing seems like a stupid waste of time. Now that I think about it, I didn't think you were a fan of wasting time."

"Friends are important to me." Twilight said honestly. "And I think I can consider Caboose to be a friend, though we don't interact much."

"You're too trusting." Church said as he continued walking back to the library.

"He's just trying to include you." Twilight said as she watched Church leave.

"I don't like being included."

"I think it would mean a lot to him though. And I think it would mean a lot to Derpy as well seeing as it's her birthday and you made her feel out of place."

"I didn't try to make her feel out of place." Church said guilty. "But even then, I don't even know her... and to be honest I already know Caboose which is stressful enough, but to know not only one but two others that are exactly like him? That is a nightmare."

"He's your friend." Twilight insisted.

"But-"

"But nothing." Twilight smirked playfully. "He seems to look up to you as if you were his older brother."

"Just out of curiosity, why are you even interested in this?"

"Because I'm your friend Church and you have to admit you can be quite the angry pony. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand why. But even then I think the reason you're so angry is because you push away everybody that tries to get you out of your shell."

"Or the reason I'm so angry is because I'm usually surrounded by idiots." Church quipped.

"Come on, it could be fun."

"You're not going to give in easily, are you?" Church grunted.

Twilight shook her head, her smile still spread firmly across her muzzle.

"Fine. But just to have you know the only reason I'm doing this is because I have nothing better to do. And I swear to god if he kills me, I'm going to kill him."

Church and Twilight made their way back to Sugar Cube Corner to find Derpy and Pinkie eating muffins while Caboose was nowhere to be found.

"Should I even ask?" Church groaned.

"Oh, hello again Church, Twilight managed to convince you to come back?" Pinkie asked.

"No, I'm here because she didn't convince me." Church said sarcastically as he looked around the room, expecting Caboose to pop out from somewhere. "Where's Caboose?"

"I think he went back upstairs. Said something about his head hurting."

"That's generally what happens when you have an alligator biting your scalp off."

"There's nothing to worry about Churchey! Gummy doesn't have any teeth so he can't bite anything."

"That doesn't sound good for it. How do you feed it if it doesn't have any teeth? Wouldn't it have to have teeth to bite into meat?" Church asked.

"Gummy is a vegetarian, he would never eat... meat." Pinkie shuddered at the last word.

"Then what does it eat?"

"Ice cream, cakes and other assorted treats."

"Of course, why didn't I think of that?" Church grumbled as he sat on the ground. "Well how are we going to go about this cupcake slash muffin business?"

"Well I've written up the list of ingredients that we'll need." Pinkie said, holding up a piece of paper to Church. "I already have most of the ingredients so it shouldn't take us long to grab the last few."

Church grabbed the paper and quickly read through the ingredients.

"We should get a lot of the ingredients that way we can make a huge amount!" Derpy suggested.

"I like that idea." Pinkie giggled.

"Alright so we just have to go grab this stuff from a convenience store or something?" Church asked as he looked back to Pinkie.

"Oh we're not going to buy this stuff silly. We're going to go places where they grow."

"Sounds easy enough." Church said as he gave the list back to Pinkie.

"Church, you are back!" Caboose suddenly exclaimed from the top of the steps.

"Yeah. There really isn't much to do around here besides stand around and talk, but that gets old quick." Church muttered.

"Yay!" Caboose yelled. "We are going to have so much fun and it is going to be an adventure and it is going to be fun and..." Church slowly turned to face Twilight with a serious look. "...we will eat some food and we will have fun an-"

"Caboose." Twilight said calmly, cutting Caboose off.

"Sorry."

"This is going to be so awesome!" Pinkie said. She suddenly gasped and ran towards the kitchen. "I'll pack snacks!"

"Can we bring the muffins?" Derpy asked as she ran after Pinkie.

"Of course!" Pinkie said from the kitchen. "No Pinkieventure would be complete without them."

"Don't forget about some cupcakes." Caboose said, quickly running into the kitchen.

Church sat down after Caboose had left and slowly began to rub his head. Twilight walked to his side to see what was wrong.

"Twilight, do you mind doing me a favor?" Church asked quietly.

"Sure, what is it?"

"Next time can you just let me walk away?" Church begged. "I'm already getting a headache."

Magic Tricks

Caboose ran out of the kitchen with two saddlebags that were packed to the rim with food. Derpy slowly came out after him with her own small saddlebag that had an envelope on it. Church noticed this and turned to ask Twilight what it was.

"She delivers the towns mail." Twilight said simply, anticipating Church's question.

"Is she good at it?" Church asked.

"Not particularly." Twilight said slowly. "She was given this as a job to-"

"Prevent damage to properties and people." Church finished, and Twilight nodded once. "That's smart. Why didn't I think of that? Caboose could have done with having something simple to do to keep him from killing anybody."

"Okie dokie, let's see what we got here." Pinkie said as she came out of the kitchen with a contraption on her head that held the list in front of her. "Alrighty the first ingredient is... blueberries!"

"That sounds simple." Church nodded.

"We just have to climb to the top of the mountain that Canterlot is resting on." Pinkie smiled.

"You're kidding... they have to be growing somewhere other than on top of a damn mountain."

"Well of course they do silly. But the best big blue ones grow at higher areamathingis."

"Altitudes." Twilight said.

"That too!"

"Well we should start moving then, we don't want to be that high up when night falls as the temperatures drop to extremely low levels."

"And we're risking our lives for blueberries." Church muttered as he shook his head. "How exhilarating."

"I know! It is going to be so much fun!" Caboose exclaimed.

"Well what are we waiting for?" Derpy said as she flew lazily up in the air. "I can't wait to have fun with my new friends."

"Right." Church sighed as Derpy, Caboose and Pinkie ran out the door. Church turned to Twilight and frowned. "You know how before the wedding I said that I felt something bad was going to happen?"

"Yes." Twilight said hesitantly.

"Well I'm feeling that way again."

"You're just overreacting." Twilight tutted as she walked through the door.

"That's what you said last time." Church said under his breath before following Twilight.

Church and Twilight quickly caught up with the others who were hopping in unison, slowly making their way towards Canterlot.

"I am so happy right now I could just scream." Caboose said, before gasping loudly.

"That can wait until we're done." Church intervened before Caboose annoyed all of Ponyville. "How long do you think it's going to take to get there?"

"Maybe an hour or so, why?"

"I don't know, I just feel safer knowing how long I have left until I die again."

"What do you mean?" Derpy asked, coming to a sudden stop.

Church thought about telling Derpy and Pinkie about him not being natural but put this thought to rest when he brought their intelligence levels into account.

"Church is a ghost!" Caboose said before Church could say anything.

"Really? A ghost?" Derpy asked doubtfully.

"No, that's just Caboose being Caboose." Church said, trying to change the subject.

"Do you know any magic tricks?"

"I'm a ghost, not a magician."

"Aha! So you are a ghost."

How the fuck did I fall for that? Church thought, annoyed that he fell for that so easily.

"Fine, you got me. I'm a spooky ghost."

"You don't look like much of a ghost to me." Pinkie said as she poked Church in the ribs. "Nope, definitely not a ghost."

"Fine, you want proof?" Church said, interpreting this as a challenge. "I'll give you proof."

"Awesome!" Pinkie squealed.

Church closed his eyes and let his body fall to the ground as an image of him stayed in the same spot where he was previously standing. Derpy yelled in surprise and jumped behind Pinkie, who stood still with a calm smile.

"Satisfied?" Church asked.

"I'm still not convinced."

"Caboose, do you want to help me show her?"

"Yes!" Caboose said happily.

"Great." Church said. Church made his way to Caboose and vanished into thin air.

Pinkie and Derpy stared curiously at Caboose who had his eyes closed. Caboose let out a small cough and opened his eyes, which were now several shades brighter than they usually were.

"How about now?" Church asked through Caboose's mouth.

"Smoke and mirrors." Pinkie waved.

"Seriously? My dead body and taking over Caboose isn't proof enough?"

"Nope."

"Ooh-ooh do it to me!" Derpy said.

"Alright." Church said as he reappeared in front of Caboose.

"Yes!" Caboose said happily, now looking around in a daze. "Aw, is it over already?"

Church phased into Derpy's body and stood proudly in front of Pinkie. One thing that Pinkie instantly noticed was that the mailmare’s eyes had levelled out and had changed to a pale blue. Satisfied with the performance, Pinkie nodded. Church let out a sigh of relief before going back into his own body.

"..to me!" Derpy said slowly as her entire body shivered.

"What did it feel like?" Pinkie asked.

"It felt cool!" Derpy laughed. "It was like I could see with my eyeballs, but I couldn't speak with my mouth."

"And you feel cold!" Caboose added.

"Can we do that again?"

"Let's just get this over with." Church said, rolling his eyes as he started towards Canterlot.

"Aw. Maybe later then?"

"All I set out to do was show you I'm a ghost and that's what I did, so I wouldn't count on it."

"Okay." Derpy said sadly.

They quickly resumed their journey towards the mountain, Pinkie in the lead with Caboose and Derpy following close behind.

"So why did you do that?" Twilight asked quietly.

"Do what?"

"Tell them that you're a ghost."

"You really think Pinkie and the other one would be able to understand?" Church stated. Not to mention that I sort of got tricked into it.

"I see your point." Twilight said as she saw Pinkie humming a happy tune. "Are you having fun yet?"

"No. Are you?"

"I guess so." Twilight shrugged. "I just wish you would too. You need fun more than anything."

"What I need is a break from the others." Church chuckled.

"We're almost at the foot of the mountain!" Pinkie called out.

"The mountain has a foot?" Caboose asked.

"See? That's what I've had to put up with for all these years." Church said quietly.

"You're making it out to be worse than it really was, and I think you know that." Twilight said.

"Listen, your little psychology thing might work on the others, but you're going to have a hell of a time trying to make sense of what's in my head."

"I take that as a challenge." Twilight smirked.

"Fine, but when you start to go crazy be sure to tell me, then we'll have a lot more in common."

First Ingredient

"It's really cold up here." Church said through his clamoring teeth as they approached a plateau near the top of the mountain.

"What are you talking about Church, my head is really warm!" Caboose said, Gummy chomping on his head again.

"Hang on." Twilight said. A wave of warmth passed through the group and Church gave Twilight an appreciative nod.

"So is there anything up here that's going to be surprising us?"

"No the bears are usually really nice." Pinkie said passively.

"Oh okay." Church dismissed. His eyes shot wide open and he snapped his head to face Pinkie. "Wait bears? What the fuck are we doing up here if there's damn bears?"

"No need for that potty mouth mister!" Pinkie said as she continued looking for a bush of blueberries."The bears won't hurt us, they're really kind and gentle."

"A gentle bear?" Caboose pondered. "That sounds fun! Do they like cuddles? I would like to give them cuddles."

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind." Pinkie giggled as they reached a large landing. "As long as we don't show any signs of wanting to hurt them then they should leave us alone. Aha! Found some."

Pinkie quickly ran up to a small snow covered bush and shook the snowflakes off to reveal a bunch of blueberries. Pinkie quickly tore the plant out of the ground and threw it in her saddlebag.

"Just a few more of these and we should be good."

"Just out of curiosity, what do these bears eat?" Church asked.

"Blueberries of course."

"Great. We're taking their food, I'm sure they'll be so happy to see us doing this."

"Don't worry Church, the bears only come out at night to scavenge for their food." Twilight said.

"Besides, there is more than enough to go around." Pinkie pointed out.

"Is this one?" Caboose asked as he poked a small plant.

"Hang on a sec." Pinkie said as she took another bush of blueberries out of the ground. She quickly ran up to Caboose and shook the snow off. "Yeppers, those are blueberries."

"Yay!" Caboose began to yell. "I'm being usefu-"

"Caboose please be quiet." Twilight said calmly.

"Yeah, I don't want to be caught in the middle of an avalanche." Church hissed.

"Come on guys, we just need another five or so, then we can go on to the next ingredient." Pinkie said as she continued her way up the mountain.

"Hey, me and Twilight will split up so we can cover more ground."

"Great idea Church!"

Church turned and walked for a few minutes with Twilight not too far behind.

"Glad to see you're getting into the spirit of it." Twilight said warmly.

"I'm not, I would just rather have a dignified death than one where I die from their sheer idiocy."

"Church can you please at least try to have some fun?"

"I thought I have been here long enough for you to know me more than that." Church chuckled.

"Well at least you know how to laugh. There's life in you yet!" Twilight giggled.

"You're a regular comedian." Church said with a smile. "I think I see some of those blueberries."

Twilight turned her head and saw nearly a dozen bushes.

"At least there is a lot of them so we can finally get off this damned mountain."

"Let's go get the others." Twilight said, already making her way back to the group.

"But I was beginning to like this alone time."

Twilight and Church quickly found the group and made their way back to the blueberries. Pinkie quickly made her way over to them and knocked the snow off.

"Nice job Church!" Pinkie said as she tore one of them out of the ground. "Now we can take some extra blueberries just in case."

"What's next on the list?" Twilight asked as she used her magic to pluck a few plants from the ground.

"Next up is cocoa beans." Pinkie said as she attempted to shut her bag. However, Pinkie had trouble due to packing in so many blueberries, so Caboose went up to the bag and pushed down on the blueberries, allowing the bag to shut. Church glanced at the bag which looked like it was ready to explode.

"I can't wait to make these, I hope they turn out to be perfe-"

"Shh. Did anybody here that?" Church said quietly.

Everypony turned to see some snow fall to reveal the entrance to a cave where pure white bear poked it's head out and began to sniff nervously.

"Hello Mr.Bear!" Caboose greeted happily.

"Caboose stay back." Church said.

"You're such a worrywart." Pinkie laughed.

Caboose started to trot up to the bear and suddenly tripped in front of it, making some of the muffins to spill out. The bear walked out of the cave and started to make his way over to the muffins with a look of hunger in his eyes.

"Those are our muffins!" Derpy yelled.

Caboose threw Gummy back on his head. He then ran to the muffins and threw them into his bag which made the bear give a deafening roar.

"Run!" Twilight yelled.

The group quickly turned tail and started to sprint down the mountain, the bear quickly gaining. After just a couple seconds, Church began to hear the bear grunting as it ran at them. Church was ahead of the others when he came to a small landing.

"Wait!" Church yelled, causing the others to come to a halt.

"Church what are you doing?" Twilight asked nervously as the bear stared curiously at Church as he reached into Caboose's saddlebag.

"These things eat blueberries, right?" Church asked as he pulled a couple muffins out of the bag. "Well I'm going to give them to him.

"Wait!" Pinkie called out.

"Pinkie they're just muffins, and we'll be making more anyways so don't try and stop me." Church muttered as he walked up to the bear, holding the muffins up to it.

Pinkie gasped as the bear bent over and smelled the muffins.

"See? What are you so worried about?"

"Those aren't blueberry muffins, those are raspberry muffins!"

"And?"

"Bears hate raspberry muffins, don't you know that?" Derpy asked.

Church whipped his head back to the bear and it began to growl. The bear hit the muffin out of his hoof and bared its teeth.

"I don't think you guys fully appreciate just how much I fucking hate this place."

Plans

The bear slowly edged towards Church, poised to attack.

"Church, don't move." Twilight said nervously.

"I wasn't planning on it." Church said quietly, mouth barely moving.

"What are we going to do?" Derpy asked.

"I have an idea!" Caboose said as he started to hop playfully towards the bear.

"Caboose what are you doing?" Twilight asked.

"Hello Mr.Bear!" Caboose said happily, causing the bear to turn its attention to him. "I think all you need is a hug!"

The bear snarled and jumped at Caboose, mouth open and ready to kill. Church grabbed Caboose shoved him out of the way with his magic. The bear angrily turned its attention back to Church who was staring at it nervously. The bear swiped at Church, catching him in the face and knocking him to the ground.

"Son of a bitch! Maybe I should have let him have Caboose so we could have just run...” He muttered to himself before glancing at the rest of the group. “Any help would be appreciated you know."

"Just run!" Twilight yelled, already doing so herself.

"I like that plan." Church said as he jumped to his hooves.

The group then turned tail and started to run down the mountain, the bear following right behind.

"He is going to catch up with us." Derpy said as she flew down the mountain. "Why don't you do that possessy thingy?

"Because I don't plan on dying anytime soon."

"Why would a ghost be afraid of dying?" Pinkie asked.

"Because dying fucking hurts!" Church yelled.

"Well we wouldn't know anything about that." Twilight said. She looked to the right and smiled. "I think I have an idea."

"Great, let's hear it."

Twilight's horn started to glow and she shot a bolt of magic up the mountain.

"What was the point of-" Church started but was cut off due to the sound of snow thundering down the mountain. "I don't think I like that idea very much."

"Just trust me." Twilight yelled back.

"Finding it pretty hard to do anything other than run at the moment."

"Jump to the right when I tell you."

"Why?"

"Jump!" twilight yelled.

The group jumped to the right and went under the one of the landings to allow the snow to pass over head. Twilight used her magic and surrounded them all with a shield to block any snow from surrounding them.

"That was so much fun!" Derpy said as she shook snow off of her head.

"I'm sure you'd be saying different if you were the one who got hit in the fu-"

"Where's Caboose?" Pinkie asked.

Church and Twilight looked around and saw no sign of him. Church slowly got up and looked out of the shield and watched expectantly as the snow continued pushing down the mountain. Suddenly the bear shot by in the snow with something on it's back.

"Wee!" Caboose yelled as he kept hold of a tuft of the bear’s fur while Gummy was still firmly clamped onto his head.

"Damn he survived." Church grunted.

Twilight grabbed Caboose with her magic and brought him into the bubble.

"Aw, I was having fun." Caboose pouted.

"What the hell were you thinking Caboose?" Church yelled.

"I just thought that the bear could use a hug."

"Of course you did. So what's the plan now?"

"We wait until the avalanche stops and then we can get off the mountain." Twilight said.

"Wait, isn't Canterlot on this mountain?” Church exclaimed as the realization hit him. “Won't it get hit by the avalanche too?"

"The walls are reinforced to stop that sort of thing from happening. They wouldn't have built it on a mountain if they didn't have any plans on stopping natural disasters."

A silence fell over the group as they watched the snow overhead continue to barrel down the mountain.

"I'm hungry." Derpy said as her stomach growled.

"Me too." Pinkie said. "Caboose can you give me a cupcake?"

"Okay." Caboose said as he opened his bag. "Would you like one too Church?"

"Sure." Church said, grabbing a cupcake out of the bag.

"You know, I really like the snow." Derpy said as she chomped on a muffin.

"Uh-huh." Church murmured as he took a small bite out of his cupcake.

"Are you okay Church?" Pinkie asked.

Church said nothing but just shrugged.

"Do you not like snow or something?" Derpy asked.

"Listen, can we just put leave it alone?" Church snapped.

"S-sorry." Derpy said quietly, confused as to what she had done to anger Church.

"Church, I know it's hard but you have to get over it." Twilight said comfortingly.

"Twilight, just don't." Church said flatly.

"If you don't learn to accept it then you can never be happy."

"Accept what?" Derpy asked.

"Hey look!" Caboose said happily.

The group looked through the bubble to see that the snow had now stopped for the most part, and the bear was now running back up the mountain to get to its cave.

"That bear has the right idea." Church sighed.

Twilight stopped focusing on the shield, causing it to blink out of existence.

"Time to get the cocoa beans." Pinkie said, still in a good mood.

"You guys are on your own." Church muttered as he trudged through the snow. "I'm going back to the library and staying as far as I can away from you all."

"But I was really liking hanging out with my friends on my birthday." Derpy said sadly.

"Listen, I wouldn't really consider you one of my f-" Church started but stopped when he turned to see Derpy looking at the ground and pushing snow around. Feeling guilty, he groaned and looked at Derpy. "Dammit. Fine, I'll come, but I swear if I almost die again I'm leaving."

"Yay!" Derpy and Caboose said in unison.

"So let me guess, these cocoa beans are found in a volcano?"

"No silly, they're in Froggy Bottom Bog." Pinkie said.

"Anything in there that I should know about beforehand?"

"There are a lot of frogs there but that's pretty much it."

"That's all?" Church asked nervously.

"Yup."

"Are you sure?"

"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." Pinkie said as she made a wild gesture that ended with her poking her eye.

"I don't know what that was but whatever, let's just get the hell off of this mountain." Church said. "I fucking hate snow."

Hydrarisk

"Oh, oh, I remember him!" Caboose said.

"What the hell are you talking about." Church asked nervously as he slowly backed up.

"Yeah remember when Grif got bit by the doggy and then we had to go to that tree and we saw him."

Church looked at the hydra, whose heads seemed to be focusing solely on him.

"Run or fight?" Twilight asked shakily.

"Both." Church yelled as he turned tail and started to sprint away.

The hydra growled and quickly began to follow the group. Church's hoof got caught under a root and he slammed his chin on the ground, dazing him. Derpy quickly turned and saw one of the heads go for Church. She promptly dive-bombed the hydra, colliding with its snout, causing it to reel back in pain.

"Leave my friends alone!" Derpy yelled as she flew down to Church and brought him to his hooves.

"Run!" Twilight yelled again, which snapped Church out of his daze as he took off, quickly catching up with the others.

A loud splash came from behind them and they turned to see the hydra sinking into the bog.

"Finally something goes right for us." Church muttered. "Keep running, I don't want to be here when it gets out."

Caboose grabbed onto a large tree branch as he ran by it and pulled it forwards, and once he released it it flew backwards and hit Church in the face, knocking him to the ground.

"Dammit Caboose." Church grunted as he quickly got off the ground.

"Should we keep running?" Twilight asked as she caught her breath.

"Why would we do that when we're right where we need to be?" Pinkie laughed as she pointed towards a large tree filled with cocoa beans.

"Really?" Church yelled. "You're still thinking about the damn muffcake?"

"Well, yeah, what else would I be thinking about?"

"How about the over-sized reptile chasing us?"

"Don't worry about him, he got stuck, remember? We have all the time in Equestria to grab these then we can be on our merry way."

"Just hurry it up, okay?" Church sighed as he leaned against a tree.

"Church! Church! Did you see me?"

"The only thing I saw was you hitting me in the face with a tree..."

"It wasn't my fault." Caboose said quietly as he kicked a pebble guiltily. "Someone put that branch in my way."

"Of course they did." Church sighed. "Well let's see, so far I’ve been hit by a bear, avoided being wept away in an avalanche, almost fell to my death, tripped face-first into the mud and gotten smacked in the face by a tree branch and the hydra is probably not too far behind us. This day has been just fantastic so far."

"I know right? It's so exciting!" Derpy laughed as she did a small loop in the air just to crash into the cocoa bean tree.

"Are you okay?" Church asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay." Derpy said happily, snapping to an upright position. "I meant to do that."

"Where have I heard that before?" Church asked quietly, looking over at Caboose. "So how are we going to get the beans? Are you just going to fly up there and grab them?"

"Jeez, you really don't know anything about anything, do you?"

"Evidently not." Church groaned impatiently. "Please teach me the ways of the oh-so majestic cocoa bean tree."

"The beans on these trees are nearly impossible to pull off of the stem, so the tree has to be hit with a lot of force o the beans can fall." Twilight explained as she knocked lightly on the tree. "And since nopony here is particularly strong we have to find the sweet spot on the tree.

"Actually, Caboose is pretty strong, get him to hit it."

"Okay, Caboose can you hit this spot right here?" Twilight asked as she put her hoof on a part of the tree.

"Okay!" Caboose yelled, running full speed into it with his head, making a few dozen beans fall off.

"Alright, just a few more times and we shoul-"

The hydra roared as it burst through the trees, fury present in each one of its heads as it charged at them.

"Hang on, I think i have an idea." Church grunted.

"What are you going to do?" Derpy asked.

Church slammed his eyes shut and let his body hit fall to the ground as he sprinted towards the hydra in his ghost form. The hydra, confused at how it's prey duplicated, lunged at the ghost Church. The hydra's head phased through the apparition and slammed into the ground, knocking the head unconscious.

"One down, four to go." Church muttered as he came to a stop behind the hulking creature.

"It's working!" Caboose yelled.

Another one of the hydra's heads hissed as it lunged towards Caboose, who simply hopped playfully into the air and landed on the head.

"Are we playing tag? I love tag!" Caboose laughed as he trotted up the hydra's neck and tapped it on it's shoulder. "You're it!"

One of the heads shot towards Caboose with its jaw low, ready to eat him. Caboose rolled down the neck at the last second, causing it to bite onto the adjacent head's neck and get its teeth stuck. The bitten one snarled and bit the other in its throat in frustration. Soon the two heads were snapping at each other, tearing large chunks out of them.

"Just two more I guess." Church muttered.

One of the free heads hurtled towards Pinkie who simply ducked, making it slam its face into the tree, causing a cascade of cocoa beans.

"Thank you mister." Pinkie said as she gave the dazed hydra a kiss on the cheek before collecting the beans.

The last hydra head shot towards Twilight, whose attention was turned to Pinkie as she gathered the beans.

"Look out!" Church yelled as he sprinted towards the hydra.

"Wha-" Twilight started as she turned to see the hydra's head barely a foot away from her, staring at her with feasting eyes.

"No you don't." Church grunted as he jumped into the hydra's head.

The hydra started to shake violently as Church took over its mind, having complete control within a second.

"Church?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah?" The hydra asked as it opened its eyes and looked around. "Look how fucking tall I am! I can't believe it worked."

"Now that's the kind of thing I would expect a ghost to do!" Pinkie laughed.

The dazed hydra quickly shook its remaining head and looked around until its eyes rested on Church's corpse.

"Oh fuck. It didn't work." Church groaned.

Before any of them could do anything, it lunged down and wrapped its tongue around Church's body. It then whipped its head backwards and swallowed, Church's corpse visibly traveling down its throat.

"Well fuck."

O'Malleyboose

"Caboose, what are you doing?" Twilight asked, unable to comprehend what was happening as the manticore shook Caboose off.

"I'm having fun!" Caboose chuckled as he kneed the manticore in the throat.

The manticore swung its tail at Caboose, but he simply grabbed onto it. The manticore started to flail its tail wildly in an attempt to get Caboose off, but Caboose held strong. Annoyed, the manticore slammed its tail, along with Caboose, onto the ground, causing his grip to falter.

"When I am done with you I shall feast on your remains!" Caboose said as he rolled to his feet without batting an eye.

The manticore growled as Caboose casually watched it with a smile. The manticore let out another roar before jumping towards Caboose. Rather than jump out of the way, Caboose allowed the manticore to grab him with its claws. The manticore quickly clutched Caboose to his chest and began to fly.

"What just happened?" Twilight said quietly as she heard Caboose laugh as the manticore flew him further into the bog. “I’m not sure if I need to be more worried about Caboose or the manticore”

The manticore twisted and turned through the trees, occasionally hitting him against a tree, but when it did, Caboose simply whooped and cheered. After a few minutes of swerving through the trees, the manticore took to the skies to intimidate him.

"A lovely view, isn't it?" Caboose asked nonchalantly.

The manticore glared at Caboose and began to deviate its flight path, trying to make him sick. After a few seconds Caboose bit onto its paw, making the manticore yank its paw upwards which allowed Caboose to land on its back. Without hesitating, Caboose grabbed the manticore's tail and twisted it sharply. The manticore screeched in pain as his tail broke and flipped over, flying upside down.

"What's wrong, got a monkey on your back?" Caboose cackled harshly as he clutched onto a tuft of fur on the small of its back.

The manticore snarled and dove towards the ground with the intent to land on its back to crush Caboose. Caboose waited until the manticore was nearing the ground before kicking off of its back and landing on his feet. The manticore quickly landed on its paws and looked around for Caboose.

"Keep his attention on you and I'll try to think of a spell I can use to calm it!" Twilight yelled as she began searching her thoughts.

"Take all the time you need." Caboose said as the pair began circling towards each other.

The manticore decided that it would let Caboose make the first move this time, so it began to limp to give a sense of weakness. Caboose took the manticore’s bait and charged towards it. Once Caboose was too far to turn around the manticore brought back its paw and quickly swiped at Caboose. Caboose jumped in the air and used the paw to leap even further and double his speed. Caboose slammed his skull into the manticores skull, causing it to yelp and back into a tree.

"Okay, that's enough Caboose." Twilight said quietly. "I have the spell in mind, so I just need to-"

The manticore instinctively flicked its broken tail to the side and connected with Twilight's jaw, making her cry out as she stumbled to the ground.

"This is why I hate spiky kittens." Caboose smirked as he began to walk towards the manticore, which was still dazed and confused. "Time to put the kitty to sleep."

"There you guys are!" Derpy said as she hopped out of the bush with Pinkie.

"We were beginning to think-" Pinkie started, but stopped when she saw Caboose next to the manticore. "Caboose, watch out the manticore is right there!"

Caboose shook his head and smiled lazily as he looked around. The manticore slowly began to stand up behind him.

"Where am I?" Caboose asked dizzily.

"Get out of here you big meanie!" Pinkie snapped as she leaped between Caboose and the manticore. "If you so much as touch a hair on Boosey, Celestia as my witness I will make you unhappy."

The manticore began to whimper and quickly scurried off with a limp as its tail dragged behind it. Pinkie stood proudly as Derpy and Caboose approached her.

"That was amazing!" Caboose said. "I wish I could have made it run away."

Twilight stared quietly as Derpy and Caboose kept giving Pinkie compliments, trying to make sense of what just happened.

"Oh you guys are too kind." Pinkie giggled. She leaned to the side and made eye contact with Twilight, who had a clear look of confusion on her face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine Pinkie." Twilight said quietly. She got to her hooves and slowly walked up to the others. "Caboose? Do you remember anything?"

"I remember that my name is Caboose and I am blue!" Caboose yelled.

"No I mean before Pinkie found us."

"Hang on. Yes. Wait- no. No I don't." Caboose said thoughtfully. "Wait, yes! I remember running... from something. Was there a mountain involved?"

"Never mind." Twilight dismissed with a smile. "I'm just glad you weren't harmed."

"Nothing is going to hurt Caboose when I'm around." Pinkie said as she hugged Caboose.

A pair of purple eyes came out of the bog water next to them.

"There you are Gummy!" Pinkie said with a sigh of relief. "I was starting to get worried."

Caboose trudged through the water and placed Gummy on his head, allowing him to clamp onto his skull.

"Let's see." Pinkie said as she opened her bag. "Blueberries, check. Cocoa beans, check. Vanilla, check. That's everything we need so we can go home now."

"It's getting pretty late." Twilight said quietly as she looked up at the sky.

"Yeah." Derpy yawned. "Do you think we can make the muffcake tomorrow? I'm really sleepy."

"Oki doki loki." Pinkie smiled as she closed her bag and began to walk towards Ponyville. "Today was fun, wouldn't you say?"

"It was... interesting to say the least." Twilight said, eyeing Caboose fearfully.

"Yeah, it's too bad Church left." Caboose said sadly. "I think he would have liked to see Pinkie tell off that..."

"What's wrong?" Derpy asked.

"There is something about that cat thing that I am trying to remember..." Caboose said as he tapped it's chin.

Twilight opened her mouth to stop his train of thought.

"Oh it had wings!" Pinkie said.

"Oh yeah, it did!"

"Let's get out of here and get some rest." Twilight said with a sigh of relief.

Psychology

Psychology

"So just stop by Sugar Cube Corner tomorrow afternoon and we'll get it ready, okay?" Pinkie stated as the group left the bog.

"Okay!" Derpy replied with a smile while shaking her head slowly. "I had a lot of fun today. And it was nice to meet you Caboose, you're really nice and I always like to meet new ponies."

"I am? Hey, I am!" Caboose said. "And I like meeting new ponies too!"

"Bye!" Derpy said as she flew away, zigzagging in the air.

"I should be getting back." Twilight said quietly as she started to trot off.

"What's the hurry smarty pants?" Pinkie asked as she hopped next to her. "Don't you want to walk home with your friends?"

Twilight glanced uneasily at Caboose and hurried her pace, but yelped and slowed her pace when she felt a sharp pain shoot through her side.

"Did that mean manticore do something to you?" Pinkie asked firmly.

"Yeah, it hit me with it's tail." Twilight said weakly.

"That meanie." Pinkie scowled. She shook her head and her features softened as she tapped on Twilight's back. "Do you think we should get a doctor for you?"

"No, I'm fine." Twilight said with a tight lipped smile. "I just need some rest, that's all."

"Alrighty, hurry back home and get some sleep." Pinkie said, parting ways with Twilight. "Let's go Caboose, we need to make sure everything is ready for tomorrow."

"What is tomorrow?" Caboose asked.

"The day after today." Pinkie giggled.

"Oh my gosh, you're right! You are a genie!"

"Do you mean genius?"

"That too!"

"See you tomorrow Twi!" Pinkie yelled before letting out a yawn. "Gee, I'm more tired than I thought."

"Good night Pinkie." Twilight yelled back, smiling.

"Good night Twilight!" Caboose yelled.

"Good night Caboose." Twilight said edgily before starting to trot back home, ignoring the pain in her side.

"What is wrong with her? Is it something she ate?" Caboose asked.

"No, she's acting like she just saw a ghost." Pinkie said. She giggled and started to hop back home. "Oh wait, she did! Church is a ghost!"

Twilight quickly walked up to the door of the library, intent on finding out what happened to Caboose in the bog and how he changed so suddenly and drastically. When she opened the door, Church was sitting at the table before snapping upright.

"Hey Twilight. I'm sorry for storming off like that, I was just stressed out." Church said as he rubbed his neck. He watched Twilight for a few seconds, sensing that she was more deep in thought than usual. "You okay?"

"Yes I am, thank you." Twilight said absently as she walked into her kitchen. "I'm going to make some tea, would you like some?"

"I'm good."

Twilight quickly made a cup of tea and used her magic to take a few books off of the shelves. She sipped the tea as she sat next to the table and opened one of the books.

"What are you reading?"

"Psychology books."

"You're really going to try to make sense of me?" Church chuckled. "Have fun with that."

"Now isn't the time Church." Twilight said harshly. She sighed and rubbed her side where the manticore hit her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell, it's just..."

Twilight fell into a silence as her eyes narrowed on the index and began to flip through the book and stopped on a page and began to read it.

"Something on your mind?" Church said as he shifted uncomfortably.

"After you left and we found the last ingredient, we were attacked by a manticore." Twilight said as she flipped the page. She glanced up to see Church giving her a confused look. "A manticore is a creature that has the body of a lion, the wings of a bat and the tail of a scorpion."

"Doesn't sound like it can compare to a fucking dragon with multiple heads..."

"Hydras are not dragons, they're apart of the reptile family."

"Aren't dragons reptiles?" Twilight looked up to Church and laughed weakly before starting to read the book again. "What? How the hell am I supposed to know the difference?" Church muttered. "So why did it attack you? Just for fun or what?"

"No, we were just in its territory. If it wanted to eat us it would have, but then- ah here we go." Twilight said as she began to write on a piece of paper.

Church leaned over and began to read the page she was on. There was no title on the page, but his eyes rested halfway through the page and he let out a small laugh.

"What is it?" Twilight asked.

"You think I have multiple personality disorder?"

"What? No I don't, why would you think that?"

"Well for one, you're reading a medical book and that page is talking about it. Secondly, you look like you're trying to hide something."

"Have you been reading a book on psychology?"

"Maybe." Church shrugged. "Well if you aren't reading up on it for me, then why are you doing it?"

"I..." Twilight trailed off as she recalled the way Caboose changed. "It's hard for me to say. Has Caboose ever acted strange around you?"

"Twilight, are you trying to tell me that Caboose isn't always strange?"

"That's not what I meant. It's just that-"

"Hey you're back!" Spike said as he ran down the stairs. "Church came back about an hour ago without you and told me what happened to him. Did he really get eaten by a hydra?"

"Yes he did." Twilight said.

"So he really did... y'know." Spike said as he scratched his head. "I mean, did you really have to do that to it?"

"Why are you acting like I'm the bad guy here?" Church muttered.

"The girls always solve their problems through talking and stuff..."

"Oh, you still haven't caught on that I'm not a girl yet?" Church replied. "I guess I'll have to try harder."

"I guess you will." Spike laughed as he yawned and rubbed his belly. "Well, I'm going to catch some shut eye."

"I'll be up soon too." Twilight said as she closed the book, just to open another one.

"Alright. Night Twi. Night Church."

"G'night." Church nodded. Once he heard the door shut, Church turned to Twilight and coughed. "So do you need any help with what you're doing, or can I go to sleep too?"

"No, it's okay. I'd say you deserve a good sleep."

"You don't have to tell me twice." Church laughed as he went up the stairs to climb into bed.

Directions

Twilight woke bleary-eyed the next morning, pain still running through her side. As she sat up, she looked down to see Spike sleeping on his bed, snoring lightly. She smiled before looking down at her ribs to examine the large bruise from where the manticore had struck her. She sighed and got off her bed and made her way downstairs to prepare breakfast. Twilight reveled in the quiet that enshrined the kitchen as she ate which was broken by footsteps on the stairs.

"Hey." Church muttered as he slowly made his way down the stairs.

"Good morning Church." Twilight said sweetly. She sniffed the air and turned to Church with a comical look. "You smell sort of funny."

"Probably something I ate." Church chuckled.

"Speaking of, do you want me to make you something to eat?"

"Nah, I'm good. I need to wash what's left of this stuff off." Church said as he opened the door to the bathroom.

"That sounds like a good plan." Twilight giggled.

Church came out of the bathroom several minutes later, with a smile spread across his face.

"What are you thinking about?"

"A lot of things." Church said as he sat down at the table next to her. "So you were up late last night, huh?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"My room is right next to yours, you woke me up when you kept running around your room."

"Oh." Twilight said quietly. "Sorry, I didn't know."

"I don't get much sleep anyways." Church shrugged. "So what are the plans for today?"

"Well a star hit nearby and I thought I would go and examine it."

"Sounds... fun."

"It should be, do you want to come?"

Before Church could respond a small knock came from the front door and the pair fell silent.

"Who is it?" Twilight asked.

"It's me." Fluttershy said quietly, barely audible past the door.

Twilight opened the door to see Fluttershy, eyes filled with tears, staring up at her.

"Fluttershy... what's wrong? Are you okay?" Twilight asked quickly.

"Twilight, it's horrible." Fluttershy said, hugging Twilight tightly.

"Fluttershy calm down. What happened?"

"Somepony got attacked a-at the edge of town."

"What do you mean attacked?" Twilight asked softly. "Tell me everything you know."

Fluttershy took some deep breaths to calm down before starting. "Aqua Dew was sitting on the bridge when the stars lit up the sky, when suddenly a star fell next to her."

"The star?" Twilight mumbled before snapping back to attention. "What happened next?"

"That's what the doctors can't find out. She just kept screaming about a tall monster that attacked her, and nothing else. I hope she'll be alright."

"How did she get attacked?"

"Her horn got torn off." Fluttershy said before wiping her eyes. "I talked to the pony that found her and I found out that the bridge nearby had been destroyed as well."

"What happened to it?" Twilight cooed, trying to squeeze out each and every last detail of the hysterical mare.

"It was blown up. That's how the pony found her, she heard an explosion and went to find what caused it."

"Where's Grif?"

"H-he went to go get the others and he told me to come here and tell you what happened."

"Let's wait for the others, then we'll try to figure this out, okay?"

Fluttershy nodded before releasing Twilight to go wait next to the door.

In a small house on the edge of Ponyville, a stallion was sleeping when he was awoken by a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" The stallion called out weakly.

A few seconds of silence lingered before the knock repeated, this time harder and more rapid.

"Hold on a second." The stallion grunted as he rolled off the bed and started to make his way to his door. As he reached out to open it, the door exploded in his face. The stallion recoiled and covered his face with a foreleg, deflecting the wooden remains that flew at him. He slowly lowered his hoof to see a light blue beast standing in his door, holding a bloody unicorn horn.

"W-who are you?" The stallion asked as he backed up against the wall. "What are you?"

"What I am depends on what your next move is." Carolina said as she took out her pistol and pulled the slide back.

The stallion’s eyes went to the pistol with the understanding that she brought it out for a reason and, judging by her attitude, he did not want to find out what it did.

"Well?".

"What do you w-want me to do?" The stallion asked.

"Answer some questions." Carolina said as she placed the pistol back in the holster

"Fair enough." The stallion said, motioning to a seat. "Why don't you have a seat, m-make it easier on the both of us."

"I prefer to stand." Carolina said quickly. "Now, do you know anybody named Alpha?"

"Can't say that I do."

"How about Epsilon?"

The stallion shook his head quickly.

"Church?" Carolina asked, this time with a darker tone.

"No..."

Carolina grunted and looked out the window of the house.

"Have you seen anybody that isn't a damned horse around here?"

"N-no, all the ponies I know are, well, ponies. And I know pretty much everypony in town."

"Has there been anything odd that happened in town recently?"

"Besides a... whatever you are... demolishing my door, not really..."

"That's too bad." Carolina sighed.

"Why's that?" The stallion asked quietly.

Carolina grabbed the stallion by the throat and lifted him off the ground.

"What are you doing?" The stallion choked through the assailant’s iron grip.

"If you aren't going to be any of any help to me then I have no use for you. I'll ask you one more question, and you better damn well have an answer, has anybody new come into town recently?"

Suddenly memories filled the stallion’s mind. Memories that went back a few weeks to a certain pony. A certain pony that kicked him in the ribs, embarrassing him in front of everypony in town.

"Well?" Carolina snapped.

"I remember meeting a stallion in town a few weeks ago, and I could tell he wasn't from around here." The stallion choked. "He is kind of old, red fur, sort of has weird accent."

"His name." Carolina commanded, loosening her grip on his neck. "What is his name?"

"I think it was Sarge." The stallion wheezed as he struggled to get his breath back.

"Great." Carolina said, dropping the stallion to the ground. "Take me to him."

Fighter

Sarge, Applejack, Big Mac and the Cutie Mark Crusaders had gathered on an empty field next to the farm. Big Mac had brought a plow with him, while Applejack and Sarge only brought their hooves and their hats.

"Nice hat Sarge!" Scootaloo whooped.

"Er, thanks. So what are we doing out here exactly?" Sarge whispered to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were jumping around each other excitedly.

"Well, we were trying to think of other ways to find our Cutie Marks, and then we thought that since Applebloom lives here we could become Cutie Mark tree planters." Sweetie Belle explained.

"And why do you need all of us here to help?"

"Big Mac'll till the soil, Applejack'll tell us where t' plant and you're goin' t' help us plant." Applebloom said as she spat out a bag of seeds.

The group heard the sound of hooves hitting dirt and they all turned their heads to see Grif running their way.

"There you are." Grif panted. "Why are you all the way out here?"

"I promised the girls I'd help them look for their marks and they decided to plant trees."

"That sounds... fun?" Grif said slowly. "Anyways, Fluttershy sort of had a mental breakdown and I don't know why, so we need your help."

"I would have a mental breakdown too if I was forced to live with you."

"You were forced to live with me."

"Why did you have to remind me?" Sarge sighed deeply. "I finally managed to repress those memories."

"That's a good idea... maybe I should try doing that." Grif shook his head. "Anyways I think you guys should come with me and see her."

"What happened exactly?" Applejack inquired.

"I'm a bit fuzzy on the details. Fluttershy was crying and I couldn't understand a word she said so I told her to go talk to Twilight." Grif said as he rubbed his neck. "All I know is that she wanted to be with all the other because she didn't want to be alone or something."

"Are you going to be there?" Sarge grunted.

"Well, yeah."

"Then count me out."

"Well it's a good thing she didn't ask you to go." Grif said, turning to face Applejack. "You going to come?"

"Ah hate t' say it, but Fluttershy is always worryin' 'bout somethin' or another." Applejack said quietly. "Ah'm sure she doesn't need all of us there t' help her."

"Can't say I didn't try." Grif said, before laughing. "Wow. Never thought I would hear myself say that. We'll all be at the library if you need us."

"Don't hold your breath." Sarge grunted.

Over the next hour the girls managed to plant nearly fifty trees. Then something off in the distance caught Sarge's attention. He squinted his eyes until the figure was clear.

"Big Mac." Sarge said quietly. "Take the girls back home. Make it fast."

"Why?" Big Mac asked simply.

Sarge motioned his head to the left. Big Mac looked over to see a tall, alien figure approaching.

"Come on girls." Big Mac said nervously, nudging the girls back with his hooves. "We need to get going."

"Huh, why?" Scootaloo asked.

"But we're plantin' trees." Applebloom mustered.

"Listen to your brother." Sarge said.

The girls looked to Sarge, and then at each other before shrugging and following Big Mac.

"What's wrong Sarge?" Applejack asked.

"That." Sarge said, eyes locked on Carolina.

Applejack turned to see a figure slowly approaching them. "What is tha- oh. Is that one of yer friends?" Applejack asked with a smile.

"Judging by what she's holding in her hand I would have to say no." Sarge said as he began walking towards Carolina. "Go warn the others. Tell them that Carolina is here."

"What are ya goin' t' do t' her?"

"I'm going to do what I can to slow her down."

"Are ya implyin' what ah think yer implyin'?" Applejack asked defensively.

Carolina stopped roughly fifty feet away and leaned against a tree, watching Sarge silently.

"D'ya think ya can beat her?"

"Probably not, but I'll be damned if I let a blue see me walk away."

"Well ah'm stayin'."

"I'm not asking your opinion, private." Sarge snapped. "I was giving an order."

Applejack flinched and took a few steps back, surprise by Sarge's outburst.

"Listen to me. I am a fighter. I was born to fight. I was raised to fight. That was the whole reason I joined the army in the first place. When I fought with them though, I fought because I was told to fight, because it was fun." Sarge said as he looked back to Carolina who was now leaning her shoulder on a tree. "But now I have something that is actually worth fighting for. Family. And I'm sure as hell not ready to let that blue over there ruin that."

Applejack's eyes began to tear up, but Sarge gave a supportive smile and nodded.

"And if you make it fast, maybe you can stop her before she hurts anybody else. One more thing." Sarge grunted, taking off his hat. "Take this. I don't want it to get dirty."

Applejack nodded and grabbed the hat before starting to gallop full speed towards the library. Sarge let out a sigh as Carolina started to walk towards him again.

"Why the hell are you a horse?" Carolina snapped.

"That's classified information." Sarge tutted.

"Very funny. Where is Church?"

"I try to keep my affairs as far from the blues as I can."

"Is that so?" Carolina asked.

"Yeah."

"Then I hope you're good at close combat." Carolina said, unsheathing her knife and putting the horn in its place.

"I was about to say the same thing." Sarge said as he cracked his neck.

Carolina suddenly swung the knife at it at him, but Sarge juked to the side, simultaneously spinning around, readying his back legs. Then he let loose, hitting her in the side and sent her flying into a tree.

"Lucky hit." Carolina hissed.

"I'll bet."

Carolina swung her knife at Sarge, this time nicking his belly, causing a trickle of blood to emerge. Sarge scowled before jumping at Carolina, but she side stepped and grabbed him by his tail and mane. Carolina lifted Sarge upwards and threw him against a tree. While she had hold of him, he reached for the pistol, but the swinging caused him to grab something else from her side instead. Carolina punched Sarge in the jaw then grabbed him, withdrew her pistol and shoved it under his jaw.

"What happened to close combat?" Sarge asked calmly.

"I decided to mix it up a little." Carolina chortled. "Now either you're going to help me find Church, or this grass gets a whole lot more red."

"Now that you mention it, the grass would look better that color." Sarge laughed, making Carolina punch him in the ribs again. "If I was afraid to die, do you really think I would have stayed here?"

"You're crazy." Carolina muttered, lifting Sarge up by his throat. "Any last words?"

"Just a few."

"Make it quick then."

Sarge headbutted her, but all it did was make her turn her head and laugh. Sarge began to laugh as well, when there was a small clinking noise. Carolina looked back to Sarge who had a large smile on his face.

"Why are you smiling?"

"Heh. Just thought about how I came here ready to die and you didn't." Sarge chuckled morbidly.

"What are you talking abou-" Carolina started, but stopped when she saw Sarge hold up an unpinned grenade between their faces.

"You just got Sa-"

The grenade exploded, interrupting Sarge and engulfing them in a flurry of flames and shrapnel.

Unbridled Rage

Applejack ran as fast as her legs could carry her, her heart beating a mile a minute. She hopped over each and every obstacle on her way to the library, not sparing a second to catch her breath.

"Sarge needs help!" Applejack yelled as she bucked the door open, everypony’s heads snapping to the panting earth pony as she burst into the room.

"What do you mean Sarge needs help?" Twilight asked, sensing the tension in her voice.

Applejack looked up with confusion, eyes filled with tears. "Ah don't know fer sure, all ah know is that he thinks he is gunna die." Applejack said weakly, placing his hat on a chair.

"Tell us what happened." Twilight said, both trying to calm the hysterical mare and try to find out what had happened.

"We were in th' field next t' the farm and saw this tall figure, much like what Church n' th' others looked like when they came here." Applejack said, which caused the others to look at each other in confusion. "She also had a horn that had blood on it. He told me t' tell ya that-"

"Carolina is here." Church finished hurriedly. "We need to get to the farm. Now. Twilight, if you would."

"Right." Twilight nodded, closing her eyes.

The room flashed purple and the group found themselves in front of the farm house.

"This way!" Applejack said as she ran through the apple trees.

The group followed Applejack until they came to an opening, where they could see Carolina place the gun on his throat. Applejack stepped forward, but Church grabbed onto her shoulder.

"If you go in there she'll kill him for sure." Church muttered.

"Are ya willin' t' risk that?"

"She may be a killer, but she isn't stupid. She's here for me so she will need him alive to find me." Church rubbed his neck. "We're going to need a plan."

"Why don't we go out there and just get it over with?" Tucker asked quietly. "I mean, she doesn't know we're here."

"She's a freelancer, remember? As soon as we're out in the open she'll-"

"What is that thing?" Rainbow Dash interrupted.

"What thing?" Twilight asked as Sarge raised his hoof.

"Get down!" Church grunted, as he and the other guys jumped to the ground.

"Why wo-"

The explosion ripped through the clearing, disorienting the girls causing them to fall to the ground in multi-coloured heaps. Applejack was the first to look up, to see the battered form of Sarge feebly attempting to get up. His assailant on the other hand looked to be relatively fine, already dashing across the distance between them, grabbing Sarge and holding a knife to his neck. Before she could flick her wrist to plunge the knife into his neck, Carolina was sent flying by an unseen force. She looked up to see Applejack standing in between her and Sarge.

"If ya touch him again ah won't hesitate t' harm you." Applejack snarled, bent over and ready to jump again. “More.”

"How adorable, Sarge has a horse for a girlfriend." Carolina said, quickly getting to her feet. "I think I'll let him watch this."

"We're family." Applejack snapped.

"What a stupid, useless sentiment."

Applejack jumped forward, but Carolina took out the horn and used it to suspend Applejack in the air. Applejack tried bucking her, but was too far away for her kicks to connect.

"Didn't expect that, did you?" Carolina said, smirking.

Carolina flicked her hand to the left, throwing Applejack at the others. Twilight used her magic to slow Applejack and place her lightly back on the ground. Twilight charged a magic bolt and shot it at Carolina, but she deflected it back with a flash from the severed horn. Twilight quickly created a shield that reflected the bolt skywards.

"You can't hide the Alpha forever." Carolina yelled.

"I'm not hiding you crazy bitch." Church declared.

"Why the hell are you a horse?" Carolina questioned as she walked towards the group.

"Y'know, I keep wondering the same damn thing."

"I'll try to hold the shield so she can't get in, but that mass transportation spell took a lot out of me." Twilight grunted as her horn continued to glow brightly. "I don't know how much longer I can last."

"I can wait all day." Carolina said, tapping her foot impatiently.

"We have to come up with something." Grif said quietly.

"She'll hear anything we say you idiot." Simmons sighed.

"So we're dead then?"

"Yeah."

"Bummer."

"Who will I kill first?" Carolina said quietly, looking over all the ponies in the shield. Her eyes rested an Grif and she pointed the horn at him. "I think I'll start with you."

"No you don't, that honor is mine and mine alone." Sarge grunted, jumping onto Carolina's back. "Quickly, get Caboose mad!"

"Get him mad?" Twilight echoed. Her eyes grew wide when she understood how Caboose had changed.

Carolina grabbed onto Sarge from over her shoulders and slammed him into the ground.

"Caboose, can you do that thing you did back at the bog?" Twilight said quietly.

"What thingy?" Caboose asked.

"Think about the manticore."

"What are you doing?" Church groaned. "It's bad enough we're going to die, but I don't think Caboose being angry is going to help us."

Carolina grabbed Sarge by his throat and threw him through the shield. he slammed into Applejack, causing them both to fall over. Applejack rolled to her feet and ran to Sarge's side. Applejack looked Sarge over and saw multiple wounds that were bleeding lightly.

"Don't worry about me." Sarge coughed. He turned his head to Caboose and sighed. "Caboose, get over here."

"Okay." Caboose said quickly.

"Listen to me. You have to get angry."

"Why would I do that?"

Twilight grabbed Caboose and looked into his eyes.

"Hello!" Caboose smiled.

"If you don't do anything now she is going to hurt Pinkie Pie." Twilight said softly.

"Damn right I will." Carolina said as she stabbed Twilight's shield with the severed horn, using its magic to shatter the shield.

Caboose looked over to Pinkie, who was smiling at him. Caboose blinked and looked at the ground, when he felt something bubbling up. He started to hyperventilate and shiver violently before letting out a blood curdling yell, kicking at the ground as his fur got darker and his pupils dilated.

"Caboose are you okay?" Church asked nervously.

Caboose slammed his hoof into Church, knocking him to the ground.

"What's with the idiot?" Carolina asked.

Carolina closed her eyes for a brief moment and felt immense force hit her in the chest, shooting her flying backwards. Once she had come to a stop, she looked up to see Caboose glaring at her.

"I will ravage your body and feast on your soul if you so much as lay a finger on my pie."

Clash of the Titans

Caboose shot towards Carolina and tackled her to the ground and began to hit her repeatedly in the chest. The group stared, slack jawed at their once innocent friend.

"Caboose... is a bad ass?” Tucker said quietly. “Well, my whole life is a lie."

"What happened to him?" Grif asked nervously.

"O'Malley happened to him." Sarge chuckled as he watched Caboose slam Carolina's head into the ground.

"Wait, O'Malley?" Church muttered. "What are you talking about? The EMP got rid of him."

"Well he left something behind in Caboose. He taught him how to get angry."

Carolina took out her pistol and tried to bring it up, but Caboose slammed his hoof on her wrist, making her release it. Carolina headbutted Caboose in the muzzle, causing him to growl and jump off of her.

"Should we do something?" Simmons asked.

"If you want to get in between what's basically O'Malley and a freelancer, then go ahead." Church muttered.

"I think I'm good." Simmons quickly replied.

Carolina took out her knife and swung it at Caboose. He jumped out of the way, but the knife still managed to connect with his muzzle.

"I think when I'm done with you I'll go straight for the pink one."

Caboose snarled and grabbed Carolina by the helmet and slammed her head onto a large rock that jutted out of the ground. The visor of her helmet shattered, effectively blinding her as shards flew into her face. Caboose yanked off the helmet and hit her in the nose, breaking it. He then stood on his hind legs, spun around and threw her a few feet away.

"Caboose?" Pinkie asked nervously, fearing the new Caboose.

Caboose turned to Pinkie and his eyes reverted back to normal and he began to smile. Carolina noticed this, promptly hopping to her feet.

"Hello!" Caboose yelled happily.

Carolina jumped in the air, her foot ending up in Caboose’s chest sending him tumbling into the others.

"That wasn't nice." Caboose said dizzily.

Carolina aimed the horn at Caboose and shot a concentrated bolt of magic at him. Church used his magic and grabbed the bolt out of the air and threw it back at Carolina. She stood still and watched the bolt missed her by an inch, and then began to laugh.

"This is between us, not them." Church yelled.

"You made it about them when you came in here." Carolina growled. "And now they're going to pay for it with you."

"I'm tired of listening to her, let's fuck this bitch up!" Tucker yelled, flying towards Carolina.

She side stepped out of the way and brought her elbow down and drove it down with immense strength right into the small of his back as he flew by.

"Dammit." Tucker complained as he tried to reach his back. "Why the hell is she so fast?"

Carolina walked towards Tucker, who was on the ground writhing in pain. Just as she was kneeling down, about to break Tucker's neck, she got knocked to the ground.

"You can't kill a blue!" Sarge yelled, kicking her in the throat. "That's my job!"

"Good to see you still have some fight in you. I was beginning to think that the grenade was the end for you." Carolina glared up with a savage smile plastered on her face.

"I'm the best damn fighter you'll ever meet." Sarge said, hitting her in the chest. "And that's sir to you."

Carolina leaped to her feet and lunged at Sarge but he bucked her in the chest, causing her to fall back down.

"Oh yeah! Feel it bitch!" Tucker yelled, still on the ground.

Carolina looked up and growled at Sarge, who was standing over her with a smile.

"Look's like it's not just these blues that I'm used to fighting that suck at it." Sarge said smugly.

Within a second, Carolina stabbed Sarge in the ankle with the horn, going all the way through. Sarge yelled in pain and fell to the ground. She got up and kicked him in the head, causing his vision to blur.

"That's two down." Carolina said with a wicked smile. "Batter up."

"Grif, execute plan delta!" Simmons yelled.

Grif nodded and ran straight at Carolina, who then kicked him in the face, propelling him back to where he started.

"What the fuck was that? That wasn't plan delta!"

"Like I fucking know what plan delta even is!" Grif yelled, holding his nose.

"Just surround her!"

"You could have just said that!" Grif snapped, flying behind Carolina.

“Oh, and Grif, good job at least trying to get yourself killed.” Sarge commended.

Simmons used his magic to give himself a sudden burst of energy, but as Carolina sidestepped the bolt, Grif tackled her to the ground.

"I got her!" Grif yelled.

Carolina knocked Grif off and instantly grabbed his head and slammed it on her knee as she brought it up.

"Goddammit." Grif choked, falling to the ground. "I didn't get her."

Tucker got up and flew towards Sarge and helped him up.

"I have a plan." Tucker said.

"Let's hear it." Sarge mumbled, staring at his ankle.

"It doesn't matter to me what happens to these idiots." Carolina turned to Church. "But if you come back now I might let them live."

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Fair enough." Carolina said, charging at Church with the horn gripped tightly in her hand, aiming to kill.

"Church watch out!" Caboose yelled, jumping in front of Carolina.

"Caboose no!" Church yelled.

Carolina's horn pierced Cabooses chest and his eyes widened. She tried to take the horn out, but it had penetrated too deep, so she let go of the horn, dropping Caboose to the ground.

"Well at least one of you got what they had coming" Carolina said as she took out her pistol and aimed it at Church. "If only you came with me then nobody would have gotten hurt. Well besides those other horses that helped me."

"Hey, remember me?" Sarge asked.

Before Carolina could turn, Sarge charged his good leg and hit her in the chin. She found herself launched in the air. Before she managed to right herself, she heard the sound of thunder. She looked up and saw Tucker, who was diving right at her with incredible speed, electricity surging out of his body. He tackled her out of the air and slammed her right back into the ground. As she made it to her knees in an attempt to get up, Grif tackled her right back onto the ground and punched her in the throat. Carolina coughed up a little blood and let out a small laugh.

"Son of a bitch..." She said, barely managing to kick Grif off.

She started to get up, but Simmons started using a spell he had learned from Rarity to hold her in place.

"We got her!" Tucker yelled as he saw Carolina struggling feebly to get out of the hold. "I knew it would work."

"I have to admit Tucker, I'm surprised that worked." Sarge laughed, giving a swift nod of approval.

"I can't believe we won!" Grif laughed.

"Caboose?" Pinkie asked as she approached Caboose, who was laying on the ground.

The group turned to see Caboose, who was lying in a small pool of blood.

Wrath

"Caboose!" Church yelled, kneeling by his side.

"Did... did we get her?" Caboose asked.

"Yeah, Caboose. Simmons has her right now. We'll decide what to do with her later." Church said with a smile.

"Good. I don't think I liked her. She was a mean lady."

"He has a punctured lung." Twilight said softly as she examined the wound. "If he doesn't get to a doctor soon I thin-"

"Hey Church?" Caboose interrupted.

"Yeah Caboose?"

"Why is everything cold?" Caboose asked, now taking deep and forced breaths. "My mom always told me... I should always bring... a jacket."

"Shut up Caboose." Church shook his head.

"I feel tired." Caboose yawned silently. "Can I go to sleep?"

"No Caboose. Stay awake." Church said, placing his hoof on Caboose's shoulder. "Please stay awake."

"But I'm so..." Caboose said, shuddering briefly. "...tired."

"No Caboose, you aren't dying on me." Church yelled, finding himself useless.

"Church, do you think they have cupcakes in heaven?"

"Yes Caboose. They have cupcakes in heaven." Church sighed sadly. "And they have cookies and everything you could ever dream of."

"Okay, good." Caboose smiled as he shut his eyes. "Is Pinkie okay?"

"Yes. Pinkie is fine thanks to you." Church said, assuring Caboose.

"Thanks to me? Yay, I'm a hero." Caboose laughed weakly. "Do you think you can do me a favor?"

"Anything Caboose. Name it." Church said, feeling a few tears roll down his cheeks.

"Can you look after her?"

Before answering, Church noticed that the blood flow from Caboose’s wound was lessening.

"Yes Caboose. I'll look after her. I promise."

But Caboose didn't say anything back.

"Caboose, stay with me." Church demanded, shaking Caboose.

Caboose just laid there smiling and after one last breath, Caboose was gone. Church slowly got back to his hooves and started to tremble. Not with fear. Not with sadness. But with anger.

"I'm so sorry Church." Twilight said quietly.

"No. You don't get to be sorry." Church said, turning to Carolina. "But she does."

"There has been enough violence." Twilight said softly. "I will make sure she gets locked-"

"That's not good enough." Church muttered, walking past Twilight. "Simmons, hold her still."

Simmons nodded, putting all he had into the spell, not wanting to be Church's target. Church looked back at Caboose and shook his head angrily.

"You don't have to do this Church." Twilight said as she blocked Church's path. "I know it hurts, but-"

"But nothing." Church yelled, throwing Twilight aside with his magic.

Church lowered his horn and charged at Carolina. The girls watched in horror as Church gored Carolina in the throat causing blood to stream freely from the wound. Church let out a bloodthirsty yell and stabbed her in the throat a second time. And then a third. And then a fourth.

"Church that's enough." Twilight said, pulling Church away.

"It's not enough." Church snarled. Church struggled for a few seconds before looking at the ground, where the grass was wet with his tears. "And it is never going to be enough."

A white flash temporarily filled the field, causing everybody to close their eyes. Church was the first to open his eyes to see Celestia standing over Caboose's body with a frown.

"You!" Church yelled in anger. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"It's just Celestia." Twilight said, trying to hold him back. "She hasn't done anything."

"That's the problem Twilight." Church said, pushing Twilight away. "Celestia is the one to blame for this, and she knows it."

"Calm down and take a deep breath. You're making eve-"

"No, she needs to fucking hear this." Church hissed, turning his attention back to Celestia. "I honestly don't even know where to begin with you. If you're the Princess of this place, then why the hell didn't you do your damn job? You let someone come in just to hospitalize one innocent and kill another."

"If I knew about it earlier I would have intervened." Celestia said honestly.

"But you didn't. Aren't you supposed to be the one everyone can turn to here?"

"I would like to think so."

"Then what about when you turned your back on Twilight when she thought something was wrong with Cadance? I can't even imagine how she felt when the one whom she aspires to be the most just shot her down like that without a second’s hesitation. Speaking of that, you never even fucking apologized to her for that. Without her, everybody would have been overrun by the changelings and you didn't even say anything. Twilight has kept quiet about it, but I know how it feels to be abandoned by everybody. I know what it's like to feel alone. That’s why I stuck with her. She doesn't deserve to feel that way. Nobody does. But I'm willing to bet that you didn't even think of apologizing after what you did. Why? Because you couldn't admit that you were wrong. Oh, and while we're talking about the wedding, how about we bring up the part where the Queen of the Changelings shot you down with ease. When that happened, it made me think about what Twilight told me about Alicorns and how strong you are. First and foremost the fact that you're not the goddess everyone believes you to be, but rather the opposite. You're not fit to be the ruler. You're powerless."

"Church!" Twilight exclaimed.

"Caboose wouldn't be dead if you had just let us be on our way when we came in." Church continued. "But no, you thought it would be smart to change us, people you didn't even know, into horses. What kind of mindset is that? You don't know if we were dangerous or not, but you were willing to change us into a group of fucking horses and tell the people you're supposed to be protecting that they are to help us. Do you have any idea how reckless that is? We could have been just like Carolina and killed them, but you didn't even think about that. You're nothing but a stupid, weak and powerless coward."

"That is quite enough." Celestia snapped, horn beginning to glow faintly. "I could banish you for talking to me in this manner, but I understand the state you are in."

"Know what? I fucking dare you to do it." Church challenged. "Oh wait, you won't because you're a coward."

Celestia's horn shot a sudden beam of magic at Church, but Church suddenly vanished in a purple mist and the beam dissipated as it struck a tree. Celestia turned to Twilight, whose horn was glowing.

Expressions

"I'm sorry Celestia but I couldn't let you do that to him." Twilight said, the glow of her horn beginning to diminish.

"Did you not listen to what he said?" Celestia asked. "He doubts my power and I am fully prepared to show him his doubts are incorrect."

"But at the cost of what? Condemning him further than he has already placed himself? He just watched someone he knows get murdered by someone that wants to use him to hurt... himself."

"Even then, that is no way to act." Celestia said flatly. "To me, or to anybody else."

"He's overcome with emotions at the moment." Twilight said somberly as she looked over to Caboose. "We all are. But you don't know what he has been through in his life, so please don't hold what he said against him. I don't want to see him get hurt anymore than he already has."

Celestia paused briefly, looking into her student's eyes. She then nodded and turned her attention to Carolina's body. She lowered her horn to Carolina's chest, enshrouding her in a golden mist that caused her to slowly disappear. She then walked over to Caboose and did the same to him.

"I will schedule a ceremony for Caboose as early as I possibly can." Celestia said softly. "And I just wish to apologize. It had not occurred to me how my actions back at the wedding would have affected you."

With a flash Celestia disappeared and the group found themselves alone in the field.

"Shame." Sarge sighed deeply, breaking the silence. "He was a good kid.

"I think we should all go home." Twilight said.

Twilight turned to see Pinkie staring at the outline of Caboose that was in the grass, before making her way next to it and laying down.

"Come on Pinkie."

"H-he's gone..." Pinkie whimpered, eyes still lingering on where Caboose once rested. "Why did she do that to him?"

"I don't know. I think she was just crazy."

"He never ever did anything to her though. Caboose didn't need to get hurt. He was the nicest stallion I've ever met." Pinkie sniffled as her tears began to fall to the ground. "If-if I hadn't said anything... if I hadn't distracted him he would still be here."

"You can't think like that."

"It's my fault." Pinkie yelled, running away from Twilight.

Twilight started to go after Pinkie, but felt something hold her back.

"Ain't no use chasin' after her like that sugarcube. If ya keep pressin' it, it'll just make her feel like she's right." Applejack said softly. Twilight blinked helplessly and let her shoulders sag. "Ah know ya want t' help, but ah think ya should just let her be fer now to let her think and git some rest. Besides, ah think ya need t' talk t' Church."

"Yeah." Twilight said, leaving without saying goodbye.

"C'mon Sarge, we should get ya patched up, looks like you've lost alotta blood." Applejack said, pushing Sarge back to the farm. "Ah think y'all should git goin' too. Ain't gunna feel better if ya just sit around feelin' sorry."

Everypony nodded in agreement as the girls said their goodbyes, both to each other and to Caboose.

"Church, are you here?" Twilight asked as she opened the door to the library. She looked at the stairs where Spike was sitting, twiddling his claws anxiously. "Spike, is Church here?"

"Yeah, but when I tried to talk to him he just ignored me and went into his room." Spike said as he looked up the stairs. "What happened?"

"I... I'll tell you later, I promise." Twilight said as she quickly went up the stairs. She stopped in front of the door and knocked. "Church are you in there?"

No answer was given. Twilight reached for the knob and turned it to find that the door was locked. She sighed and used her magic to unlock the door. She cracked the door open and saw Church sitting on the edge of the bed, looking out the window while he held a piece of paper.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Church asked calmly, not turning to see Twilight.

"Do what?"

"Put me back here."

"I didn't want you to suffer anymore than you already have." Twilight said, now walking around the bed.

"Pretty stupid of you to do what you did then, isn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Twilight I wanted her to do it." Church sighed.

"Why would you want that?"

"So I could have some peace for once in my damned life." Church yelled, kicking over the bed-stand. "Out of everybody I've met, I would have thought you would be able to fucking understand. If she really is as powerful as you say, I figured that if anybody had the power to finally fucking end it, it would be her."

"You wanted her to banish you?"

"I didn't want her to banish me." Church muttered, rubbing his head.

"Then wha-" Twilight began but let out a small gasp when she realized what he’d meant. "You wanted her to kill you?"

Church didn't answer, but instead looked out the window.

"I know you've been through a lot, but... why?"

"I ask myself the same question. Why? Why does bad shit always have to happen to me? Why can't something ever just go right?" Church asked, looking at the ground. "Why did he do it?"

"He did it to save you."

"But I can't die." Church snapped. "He knew that, so why the fuck did he do it?"

"There is no use worrying about it, you can't change the past, no matter how hard you try."

"Still." Church shook his head. He laid on the bed and looked at the ceiling. "I'm surprised that Celestia hasn't come for me again yet. I assume you had something to do with that?"

"Yes, I told her that you were just confused, that you didn't know what you were saying."

"I'm not going to apologize to her, so don't you even think about asking me to."

"I wasn't going to." Twilight said, allowing herself to display a sad smile. "Celestia is going to put together a ceremony for Caboose. I think you should go."

"Yeah, I'll go." Church grumbled. "Even if she's going to be there."

"That's all I needed to hear." Twilight said, giving Church a supportive hug. "And thank you."

"For what?" Church asked, surprised.

"For defending me like that."

"Don't mention it, she fucking deserved it for the way she treated you."

"It really does mean a lot to me." Twilight said, walking out the door. "And remember, I'm always here if you need anypony to talk to."

"Yeah." Church said, lifting up the piece of paper which had a poorly drawn picture on it.

It was a picture of two crudely drawn stick horses, one being blue and the other being light blue.

Reminder

The next day.

"Church?" Twilight called, knocking on the door to his room. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah, come in." Church grunted as he watched the rain outside his window.

Twilight opened the door and stared silently at Church, who didn't move from his spot.

"Something wrong?" Church asked.

"Celestia contacted me to tell you that the ceremony has been planned for today."

"This soon?" Church saw Twilight’s reflection nod as he looked to the mirror on the wall. "Who else is going?"

"Just the others." Twilight said, not moving out of the doorway.

"And Celestia?"

Another nod.

"Alright, just..." Church sighed.

"Take all the time you need." Twilight finished, leaving and closing the door behind her.

Church came out of the room a few moments later to see Spike sitting on Twilight's back.

"Hey Church. Sorry to hear about Caboose." Spike said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck nervously as he tried to find some way to comfort him.

Church nodded in response, but remained silent.

"The others should be there by now." Twilight said.

They made their way through the rain, eventually coming to a large building, where there were two royal guards present in the rain.

"She would be the one to leave the people that work for her out in the rain."

"They volunteered to be out here Church. She isn't as bad as you make her out to be."

"I bet." Church muttered as the door swung open, revealing Celestia who stood by sadly.

"I'm happy that you all could make it." Celestia said.

Church simply walked past her, not even acknowledging her presence. Church looked around the building and saw a long carpet that led up to a podium in front of an altar, where there was a bouquet and a candle.

"Where's Pinkie?" Church asked curiously.

"She wasn't home when Celestia sent the message."

"How do you think she's handling it?"

"Not well. I've never seen Pinkie like this before, but trying to talk to her might do more damage than anything else. This sort of thing isn't a common occurrence here."

"Seems to be a common occurrence around me though..."

A gray pony came out of the building near them and made his way up to the podium and coughed. Church retreated into his thoughts as the pony began to give a formal eulogy, remembering all that had happened to him in the past. He snapped to attention when Twilight tapped on his shoulder lightly.

"Would anypony like to say any words?" The pony asked, looking over the small group.

"Yeah." Church said.

Church walked up to the small podium and looked at the faces of everybody present. Each of the girl’s faces were adorned with a sad look, while the guys simply stared at Church.

"Yesterday I realized I always took Caboose for granted. Out of all the shit that has happened in my life, he has been the only consistent part of it. As annoying as he was, he was always there no matter what happened, whenever I needed it. But I was too stupid to notice. And now that he's gone, I'll never get to tell him that I appreciated having him around." Church said, nodding at the bouquet that was placed next to a candle. "I'll remember you buddy."

"Church..." Twilight whispered after a few seconds of watching Church stare at the altar.

"Yeah?" Church asked, turning to see Twilight staring at him.

Church looked to his side and saw a small image appear on his flank. It was a key.

"Fuck this." Church muttered angrily, trotting out of the hall.

Twilight began to walk after him, looking back at Applejack as she did so. Applejack gave her a sad nod as Twilight turned and began to walk after Church, who was now standing in the rain, looking at the sky.

"Church-"

"I don't want to hear it." Church muttered dryly.

"Church I know what you're feeling, but do you think tha-"

"I'm sorry, did you just say you know what I'm feeling?" Church yelled, hitting the ground with his hoof. "You have no fucking idea what I'm feeling."

"You're right Church, I don't understand exactly what you're feeling. But I still want to help."

"Help? Help?" Church laughed roughly. "How the hell do you expect to help a lost cause?"

"You're not a lost cause."

"My best friend died to save me, and I never even took the time to tell him that. What kind of friend does that make me?"

"That doesn't make you a lost cause."

"What about the fact that I am forced to love somebody that does not and, for all I know, cannot love me." Church snarled. "Do you know what that feels like?"

Twilight said nothing, looking at the puddle that was forming by Church's hooves.

"And now look at this. Look at it!" Church snarled, causing Twilight to flinch. "Do you know what the fuck this is?"

"It's a key." Twilight said sadly.

"That's right, a fucking key. Memory is the key. Do you know what that tells me?" Church asked, but received no reply. "It tells me that I'm nothing but a shadow of my former self. I can never be complete. Nothing will ever go right for me. I'll always be forced to remember all the things I've ever done wrong and I can never forget them. So please, tell me how the fuck you think I'm feeling right now."

Twilight stared silently at Church, who was now watching the drops of rain hit the ground. She slowly made her way to his side and lifted his chin with her magic. Church yanked his head away and began to look at his reflection in a puddle.

"Because I sure as hell don't know..."

"That's just it Church. You don't understand how you're supposed to feel. You can't understand. Too much has happened to you that has hurt you in different ways, and with no one to put blame on, you shift that blame on to yourself. But I want to change that. I want to be there for you and help you when you need it most."

"Just go away." Church muttered, pushing Twilight away. "You can't help me."

"You can't handle this on your own, and you know that." Twilight stated. "It's just life Church, you have to take the good with the bad, even if the bad seems to be the only thing coming."

"But the bad is the only thing coming my way, I've all but lost hope for anything good."

"If you had lost hope for yourself you wouldn't be talking to me and you know it."

"Maybe." Church sighed, looking into the puddle.

"You can change Church, you just can't do it alone." Twilight said, hugging Church. "And you definitely have to try."

"I'll try." Church sighed, unconvinced.

"That's all I was hoping for." Twilight said as she tried to smile encouragingly.

Realizations

Two Weeks Later

Church was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling when he heard a knock on the door.

"It's your house, you don't have to knock." Church grunted, knowing it to be Twilight.

Twilight walked in and closed the door behind her.

"What can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to let you know that the girls are going to be coming over soon."

"Pinkie too?" Church asked with surprise.

"No." Twilight sighed as she shook her head. "We haven't heard a word from her for the past two weeks. I think she may be cutting herself off from everyone."

"Maybe she'll talk to me." Church suggested as he rolled off the bed.

"Are you sure she'll talk to you?"

"No, but I should at least try."

"Thank you." Twilight smiled before making her way down the stairs.

Church left the library and quickly found himself in front of Sugar Cube Corner. Church sighed and walked through the door to see Mrs. Cake placing some cupcakes on a counter, though her face looked worn.

"Is Pinkie around?" Church asked after a few seconds.

"Are you here to talk to her?" Mrs. Cake asked sadly.

Church nodded.

"Good. Poor dear needs a shoulder to lean on since Caboose passed... What happened?" Mrs. Cake asked before looking at the ground guiltily. "I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that. Pinkie is in her room."

"Thanks." Church said as he walked towards the stairs.

"It's good to see friends looking after each other when they need it most." Mrs. Cakes said as Church reached the steps.

"Yeah..."

Church went up the stairs and found himself standing in front of a door, a dim light spilling from underneath. Church cleared his throat and knocked on the door.

"Come in." Came the strained voice from inside.

Church opened the door and paused when he saw Pinkie. She was sitting on her bed, staring at the wall without so much as batting an eye. But it wasn't what she was doing that was bothering him, it was her appearance. Her hair was no longer as bubbly as it used to be... it was completely straight. Her eyes were bloodshot, either from tears or lack of sleep. Church decided that it was probably both.

"Hey Pinkie." Church muttered.

"I'm not feeling a lot like Pinkie right now..."

"I know that feeling." Church sighed, walking up next to her to sit on the bed. "How are you holding up?"

"I don't know." Pinkie shrugged.

The pair sat in silence, not quite sure what to say to each other as they both felt guilty over what had happened.

"So why are you here?" Pinkie asked quietly after a few minutes of thinking.

"I made a promise to Caboose that I would look after you. Figured it's the least I could do given what he did."

"Oh." Pinkie said quietly. "I'm sorry Church."

"For what? You didn't do anything to me."

"When Caboose first arrived he seemed to be really sad when Twilight mentioned his friends. He made it seem like he had none, but when you guys arrived here, he seemed really happy to see you. He told me lots of things that you guys did and the things you said." Pinkie said, searching her thoughts. "The things you said to him made me think you were meany and he was just trying to be nice when he tried to be your friend. He kept telling me to give you a chance, but when I did you still seemed to be as mean as I first thought you were. But now I can see that he was right all along. You are a good friend."

"I just wish I could have told him that before he died..."

"You didn't have to, don't you see that?"

"See what?"

"He didn't need to hear you say it because he knew all along that you were his friend. He's a lot smarter than you think he is."

"Yeah." Church sighed. "Think there's anything I can do to help you feel better?"

"No, that's okay. Just having somepony to talk to is nice." Pinkie said, putting her head on his shoulder. "I miss him."

"I know." Church said quietly. "So do I."

"Where's Church?" Rainbow Dash asked as the girls sat around the table in the library.

"He went to try and talk to Pinkie." Twilight said. "What have the others been like?"

"Tucker has been a lot more quiet. He hasn't even made any inappropriate comments since... well, for the last two weeks." Rainbow Dash muttered. "To be honest, I'm kinda missing them."

"Sarge hasn't changed much, though he is tellin' me abou’ th' good times he had with Caboose." Applejack said quietly. "The way he talked about him when he was here made me think that he didn't like him, but now he's makin' it seem like they were the best of friends."

"Simmons has been very strong about this. He hasn't really said anything about the matter. It seems like he is simply trying to move on."

"And what about Grif?" Twilight asked Fluttershy, who had remained silent since she arrived.

"I don't know." Fluttershy said quietly.

"You don't know?"

"Well, I just mean that he doesn't look like he has been affected by this at all. I can tell that he feels off about something though, but he seems to be hiding something."

"How has Church been doing?" Rarity asked.

"It's hard to say. Too much has happened too fast and he seems to be having trouble with his emotions. But I'm trying to help where I can to make his life easier."

The group fell into a silence and began to stare at Twilight.

"So did you just tell us to come here to talk about the others?" Rainbow Dash asked suddenly, wanting to break the silence.

"I'm glad you brought that up." Twilight said softly. "Girls I'm going to need your help."

"Anything dear." Rarity said.

"Yeah, what do you need us to do?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I'm going to sneak into Canterlot's library."

"Ah, are ya gunna use that time spell?" Applejack asked curiously. "Ah thought it didn't work out fer ya last time."

"No." Twilight shook her head slowly. "After speaking to Church I learned that you can't change the past, no matter how much you try."

"Then why are we goin' t' the library?"

"To change the future."

"Did Starswirl the Bearded discovered a spell to visit the future?" Rarity asked nervously.

"No, he didn't." Twilight said before pausing for a brief moment to think. "Or at least not that I am aware of. I'm simply saying that we are going to change the outcome of the present."

"Yer talkin' in circles here Twi..." Applejack grunted.

"What I'm saying is we aren't going to sneak into the Starswirl the Bearded wing."

"Then where are we going?" Rainbow Dash asked, scratching her head.

Twilight looked off to Canterlot and thought for a moment before turning back to the girls and sighing.

"We're going to go to the Forbidden Wing of Archaic Magic."

Into the Darkness

"Twilight, we've been walking around Canterlot for nearly an hour. Are we there yet?" Rainbow Dash asked loudly, just to be shushed by Twilight. "What'd I do?"

"This place isn't forbidden for no reason." Twilight said, peeking around a corner to make sure there were no guards patrolling the area.

"Just how forbidden is this place?"

"Well for the most part, the forbidden part is just there to ensure that no residents come by."

"Then why are we sneakin' around if it ain't actually forbidden?" Applejack questioned.

"I would rather not let it be known that we were here."

"Ah see. N' what happens if we get caught?"

"For most ponies, being in there would be a heavy fine due to the dangerous nature of what's inside, but since it's me I'm going to assume we'd get off lightly."

Twilight went around a corner and jumped, back up against a wall. The girls quickly followed suit as a guard walked past the hallway that they were hiding in. After a few seconds Twilight peeked out and saw the guard continuing down the path. She let out her held breath and motioned the girls to follow her lead. She crouched down and quickly crawled to the other side of the hallway, stopping in front of an iron gate.

"Why doesn't this place seem guarded?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"It is guarded. Quite heavily in fact."

"I thought that the Starswirl the Bearded wing was the most heavily guarded wing."

"Technically it is. There are just more guards at the Starswirl the Bearded wing."

"But, why?" Rarity asked. "If this magic is so dangerous, wouldn't Celestia want it defended just that much more?"

"There is a spell cast on the entrance that prevents those with evil intentions from entering. Not to mention that most ponies want to be escorted into the wing by Celestia anyways."

"Why would they want to be escorted so badly?"

"Because though the tomes hold invaluable information, most scholars are too scared to go in alone."

"They're scared of books?" Applejack snorted.

"Well, sort of.” Twilight replied. “There are legends that some of the books are more than just words printed on paper. Some of them supposedly bind evil spirits and those spirits... well..."

"Well what?" Rainbow Dash interrupted nervously.

"Well some of the spirits try to reach out of those bindings with promises of power if you help them."

"Please tell me you're joking..."

Twilight shook her head and slowly made her way to the entrance, triple checking to make sure there were no guards. The girls shared an uneasy look with each other before slowly following Twilight.

"So what's the plan?"

"We go in, find a tome that entails necromancy, make sure it is safe - or as safe as necromancy can be - and then leave."

"And if ya can't find anything?" Applejack grunted.

"We ask those trapped inside if they know where one is."

"Ah don't know Twi, this sounds awfully risky..."

"Come on, we're doing this for Pinkie." Twilight begged.

"And Church?" Rarity asked.

"Yes, and Church." Twilight nodded slowly before turning to the others individually. "And Sarge. And Tucker. And Simmons. And Grif. This is affecting all of them on different levels, and you've all seen it first hoof."

"Even then, is it wise to tamper with life and death?" Rarity asked. "As much as I like Caboose, I don't feel this is the best path for us to take."

"Yeah, what would Celestia think?" Fluttershy asked.

"I'm beginning to think that I shouldn't spend all of my time trying to please Celestia." Twilight said quietly.

"What?" The girls asked in unison, astonished at her words.

"Please don't misunderstand me. I still want Celestia to be my mentor, but I realized that my friends are just as important as her." Twilight sighed, swinging the iron gate open and looking around inside. "Well here goes nothing."

Twilight used her magic to light up the room, allowing them all to take a good look at the surroundings. The layout was nearly identical to that of the Starswirl the Bearded wing, though there were no windows to the outside world and everything was covered in a layer of filth. Considering the piles of books on the floor it was clear that the original design of the room had not taken into account the possibility of so many additions. The corners of the room held many cobwebs, each abandoned by the spider that had created it, giving the room a darker feeling. The wood of the bookshelves themselves looked ancient, making it look as if this room was the first room built in all of Canterlot.

"Alright, stay close to each other. If you find anything that you think may be of use, just bring it to me without saying anything. I don't want to find out if these legends are true or not." Twilight whispered, to be given a nod by everypony.

The girls split up and began scouring the first bookshelf for anything. After finding nothing they made their way to the next book shelf. Rainbow Dash slowly made her way to one of the small towers of books. She looked at the spine of the book, but could see no name to to the amount of filth on the book.

"These books sure are dusty." Rainbow Dash said quietly, blowing some dust off of one of the books.

Rainbow Dash observed the front of the book, which had the face of a pony with glowing red eyes. She noticed something in between the eyes and leaned forward to get a better look. The eyes suddenly shifted and looked straight into Rainbow Dash's eyes, causing her to yelp in surprise as she kicked the tower of books over.

"Rainbow Dash what happened?" Twilight asked as she helped her startled friend off the floor.

"That book looked at me..." Rainbow Dash chuckled impishly, before gulping and looking back at the pile of books. "I don't think I want to be in here much longer."

"We'll pick up the pace." Twilight promised.

"Thanks."

"What is it in my home that you seek?" A voice said from under the book pile.

Twilight used her magic to remake the tower of books until she came upon a leather bound book with the face of a pony on it, which seemed to be making eye contact with each of the ponies simultaneously.

"D-did that book just talk?" Applejack stuttered.

"Why yes, yes I did." The book smirked. "But please, do not refer to me as book as I find the term vulgar."

"What should we call you?" Twilight asked nervously, thinking of a way to make the spirit forget about them so they could leave.

"The Necronomicon."

"What's a necromajikallit?" Applejack asked.

"It's the book of death." Twilight gulped.

Sacred Pages

"Come child, and search for your name and find out when your time will come." The Necronomicon urged slowly.

"Ya know when we'll pass away?" Applejack asked quietly.

"I know many things. Those that have passed, those that are going to pass, and those that are going to come into being. I also have spells to revert those that have passed, which I am believing to be what you are seeking."

"Well what are we waiting for?" Rainbow Dash asked, reaching for the book. "Let's find the spell and-"

"No!" Twilight yelped, slapping Rainbow Dash's hoof.

"Ah, you know of my curse." The Necronomicon chuckled darkly.

"Did he just say curse?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Supposedly when you read the words of the ancient scripture there are only two outcomes." Twilight explained slowly, keeping her eyes glued to the dangerous tome. "The first one is you die. The second outcome is that you are driven to insanity and lose grip on reality forever."

"It is so pleasant to hear my reputation has not diminished due to my time being tucked away."

"Why are you here and not somewhere where nopony could get you?"

"I am bound by the laws of the world to not leave this room." The Necronomicon sighed, looking among the other tombs. His eyes went back to Twilight after a few seconds and the face smiled. "That is unless somepony were to break Celestia's spell."

"No." Twilight said firmly. "We're in here to find a spell of resurrection, not to free evil spirits."

"Then by all means search the wing. You will find no notes on any spells of necromancy. I am the only tome in here that can be of aid."

"He's lyin'." Applejack grunted. "C'mon girls, there must be somethin' in here that can help us."

"My pages contain truth, nothing more, nothing less."

"Why are we talking to this silly book if we can't even use it." Rarity scoffed. "We would hardly be able to make a dead pony read this."

Rarity turned towards the door but stopped when somepony spoke up.

"What about Church?" Rainbow Dash asked quietly.

"I'm sorry darling, did you just imply that Church isn't alive?" Rarity asked, dumbfounded.

"In a way he isn't." Twilight coughed.

"Wha-"

"That's not important." Twilight shrugged off her friend’s confusion. "I'm still not sure about this though."

"I can sense pain in your voice." The Necronomicon said suddenly. "You long for someone that cannot love you back, and by bringing back someone in their lives you hope to raise yourself in their eyes."

"No, Church is just a friend." Twilight shook her head.

"I see. You can either leave and live with the death of whoever it is that has past, or take me out and I can reveal how to bring said pony back to life. The choice is yours."

Twilight looked back at the others, who stared back at her with blank expressions.

"Ah want t' say we should just move on..."

"So do I..." Rarity said quietly, stepping away from the bookshelves.

"But we're this far already, and if you think this is the right thing to do I'm behind you one hundred and twenty percent." Rainbow Dash said, walking up to the Necronomicon. "What I want to know is why it is so ready to help us?"

"Being trapped for thousands of years does that to you. I would say I long to go for a walk after being trapped for an eternity, but you know, no hooves and all make's that sentiment moot."

"Let me get one thing clear." Twilight said after weighing her options. "If we are to take you out, we are not going to allow you to bring anything into this world."

"Very well." The Necronomicon said grudgingly. "Now for the matter of taking me out, while leaving the others in."

"I'll try to cast a spell that can take you through the door, but I fear that my magic may not be strong enough to bypass it..."

"Celestia has not returned since she first cast the spell, and around what I believe to be two months ago I felt the spell lose some of its power."

"Two months ago?" Fluttershy asked. "That must have been when-"

"Yes, I think that's it as well." Twilight nodded. "But why would that cause her to lose power?"

"That, I do not know." The Necronomicon said, deep in thought.

"I'm still not sure that putting a spell on it to bypass Celestia's spell would work, even if it's power had been diminished." Rarity said.

"I sense that you do not believe her to be as powerful as you once thought." The Necronomicon said to Twilight.

"Maybe not as powerful, but still more powerful than any unicorn could hope to become." Twilight insisted.

"You try to hold hope that you are not being deceived, but-"

"What would there be to lie about?" Twilight asked as she began working on a spell to bypass the door.

"Everyone has secrets dear Twilight Sparkle."

Twilight shot a beam of magic at the tome and it began to give off a faint purple glow.

"Ah, I feel that this will work." The Necronomicon said darkly. "Now, bring me forth so we may change the ways of the universe."

"Twilight, this is your last chance, you can stop with the spell and leave if you want." Rainbow Dash whispered to Twilight.

"No, we need to do this." Twilight whispered back. "Don't forget, we're the Elements of Harmony, we have the power to stop it before it gets out of hoof if it comes to that."

"I yearn to see Equestria for what it is now, nothing more." The Necronomicon promised. "I may be the book of death, but I do not wish for destruction."

"I suppose that will have to suffice." Twilight said, placing the Necronomicon into the satchel she had brought with her. "We'll go talk to Church about this, and if he decides he doesn't want to do this we will return it back here."

"Twilight, are ya sure ya can hold it?" Applejack asked.

"I replicated Celestia's spell, so he is now bound to me and is unable to use any magic to free himself." Twilight said, slowly stepping up to the door. "I just hope that the spells won't clash."

Twilight placed her horn through the doorway. And then her head. Eventually she edged through the door and let out a small sigh.

"Now's the part where we really can't be seen."

Volatile Mix

"Church, are you here?" Twilight asked as she opened the door to the library.

"Yeah." Church called out from upstairs.

"Did you get a chance to talk to Pinkie?"

"Yes I did." Church sighed, coming out of his room. "I think she's even worse off than me..."

"Really?" Twilight asked sadly. Church nodded as he made his way down the stairs. "Is she going to be alright?"

"I'm not sure, I don't know her very well." Church said honestly. "So what did you go to talk to the others about."

"Oh, well we went to Canterlot an-" Twilight started but was interrupted by a noise coming out of her bag.

"Twilight, your bag is coughing..."

"Right." Twilight said hesitantly.

She floated the bag floated off her back and it opened when she placed it on the table. Church squinted his eyes when a large, leather-bound book fell out.

"What's with that thing?"

"I am not just a thing, thank you very much." The Necronomicon said abrasively.

"Twilight, your book is talking..."

"I am the Necronomicon, the seer of the future, the recorder of the past, and-"

"You're a book, got it." Church interrupted. "So Twilight, what's with the talking book?"

"This is a rather ancient relic that has the power to bring back the dead." Twilight answered, closing her bag and placing it on the other chair.

"You want to use a book to bring him back?" Church asked weakly. Twilight nodded, but Church simply shook his head. "Doesn't that seem kind of, oh I don't know, dangerous?"

"Come now, you're not going to judge a book by it's cover, are you?" The Necronomicon chuckled.

"Shut it."

"I don't know if you have noticed yet, but I am shut."

"Twilight, do you have any scissors? I think I want to try my hand at origami." Church growled, glaring at the book.

"Bring it on ghostie."

"Both of you calm down." Twilight said loudly, causing the two to look at her. "I thought you would have liked to bring him back..."

"But at what cost, Twilight?" Church shook his again. "I don't want him to be a mindless zombie. Well, zombie anyways."

"You seem to be misunderstand the use of my spell. I do not bring the dead back among the living as a husk of demonic power, I simply return them to their original state seconds before they died. This Caboose friend of yours will be no different than you remember him."

Church narrowed his eyes at the book, trying to tell if it's lying.

"I am not deceiving you." The Necronomicon sighed. "Just because I am the book of the dead does not mean I am evil."

"Yeah, but you're still kind of a prick."

"Being a so called prick means I'm evil?"

"No but they're pretty damn close." Church shrugged.

"Does that mean you're close to being evil too?"

"Touche." Church muttered, mind drifting to Caboose as he kept his eyes on the Necronomicon. "He'll be the same in every way?"

"Every way." The Necronomicon confirmed.

"And he won't be out for blood, crave flesh or any of that voodoo stuff?"

"Not unless he was out for blood before..."

"So how will this work?" Church asked after a few seconds.

"We go to the old castle in Everfree Forest and go into its catacombs. There is an altar with two slabs, one for the dead to lay on, and one for the living- er, reliving. Once both have taken their spots you will read a passage out of my pages and the process will begin."

"I'm not exactly the best at using magic though, so why should I read the book?"

"Well seeing as the other ponies believe you to be immortal and due to the fact that my nature would cause anypony else would either die or be driven mad."

"Oh that makes sense." Church said dismissively, before looking back to Twilight. "Wait, no it fucking doesn't, what the hell does it mean by die or driven mad?"

"There is a reason my pages have been bound shut. No mortal can gaze into me without consequence, which is why I assume they brought me to you, a pony in between the physical realms of life and death. Quite the volatile mixture."

"That's fucked up." Church said to Twilight. He turned to the book, pointing his hoof at it. "You're fucked up."

"Why I've never been so insulted in my life." The Necronomicon grunted. "Especially not by a ghost that is in serious need of a personality change."

"Listen buddy, I may be sort of like a ghost but I still know how to use fire and I will seriously fuck your day."

"You think you're the first pony that has tried to burn me? If so then you're more empty in the brain than I first thought."

"Oh, it's on paper stack." Church said, tackling the book off the table.

Twilight rolled her eyes and pulled Church off of the Necronomicon with her magic and placed him on the other side of the table. She dusted off the Necronomicon and placed him in the center of the table.

"I'll need both of you to calm down."

"He started it." The Necronomicon and Church mumbled simultaneously.

"Church, this is your call." Twilight said softly. "If you think that we shouldn't be doing it, just say so. I'm doing this for you and Pinkie, not me."

"What does this thing want in return?" Church inquired.

"I wish for nothing but the chance to be used again." The Necronomicon answered. "I have been locked away for multiple millenniums, forgotten in the sands of time. And don't get me started on my company..."

"I won't." Church nodded knowingly, having been through the same thing himself.

"That old castle you were talking about earlier, that wouldn't happen to be where the Elements of Harmony were stored?" Twilight asked.

"Oh that's right, you know of the Elements." The Necronomicon said idly.

"Yes, I am one of them."

"Oh, you were being serious..." The Necronomicon trailed off. "The Elements of Harmony are what bound me in the first place."

"And if you try anything, we won't hesitate to use them again." Twilight warned.

"I have told you multiple times that I have no such intentions. Not only have you called me evil, but now you call me a liar as well?" The Necronomicon huffed. "The nerve."

"Well Church?" Twilight asked once more.

"If he keeps to his word then I don't see the harm."

"Ah, I'm ever so happy to hear you say." The Necronomicon chuckled. "I promise to be on my best behavior."

Assuming Direct Control

"That's fucked up." Tucker said after listening to Church ecplain the plan to both him and Rainbow Dash.. Tucker turned to the book and pointed to it. "You're fucked up."

"Why is it that each of them said that to me when you told them about me?" The Necronomicon muttered.

"Because you're fucked up." Grif said from behind Church.

"You're one to talk, yellow-belly." The Necronomicon snapped.

"I'm orange!"

"I'll bet you are."

"He certainly does have quite the personality." Rarity whispered to Simmons.

"Tell me about it, it's like Andy all over again..." Simmons groaned.

"Is Andy another one of your friends?"

"No." All the guys said in unison.

"Come now, if you keep this up you're going to hurt my feelings." The Necronomicon pouted.

"So what, is this thing going to bring Caboose back as a zombie or something?" Tucker asked.

"If so I have thirty seven zombie plans laid out for just such an occasion." Sarge chuckled.

"No, he'll be the same apparently. The only problem is finding the place we need to get to."

"Don't mean to dampen the mood, but I think the first problem is the matter of bringing him back to life when we don't have his body." Simmons said quietly.

"That's true..." Church muttered. "How do you handle your dead here? Do you bury them or what?"

"It has been a few weeks since he passed, so it is more than likely that is the case." Twilight said sadly. "Though I would not be surprised if Celestia had preserved him somewhere."

"Let me guess, to run tests on him, right?" Church asked with anger.

"At the risk of sounding insincere, why do you seem to dislike Celestia so much?" Rarity asked.

"Church doesn't like authority." Tucker muttered.

Church kicked Tucker in the chest, knocking him to fall to the ground.

"Ow my chest!" Tucker said as he rose, rubbing his chest.

"Church, I just meant that since he saved your life she would do her best to respect him." Twilight explained. "She may have ordered him to be placed at Ponyville's morgue."

"How are you going to bring him to that castle or whatever?" Tucker asked, picking himself up off the ground. "Are you going to carry him?"

"Take me to my body and I will do the rest." The Necronomicon stated flatly.

"What do you mean by that?" Church muttered.

"I may or may not be able to inhabit him and take control of him."

"Him being possessed by one asshole is bad enough thank you very much."

"I'm just trying to help..."

"I think that he really (just) wants to take Caboose's body for his own." Tucker whispered to Church.

"For the last bloody time I am not evil!" The Necronomicon yelled. "Celestia as my witness, I will kill you if you suggest that again!"

Everypony looked at him seriously which confused him for a brief moment.

"And it just now dawned on me that my little outburst didn't exactly help my case..."

"No. No it didn't."

"Well you're making it pretty hard not to get angry what with your accusations with no basis besides oh well he just sounds evil."

"If you aren't evil then why were you locked up?" Grif asked. "It's because you're evil, isn't it?"

"Try to summon one daemon lord and suddenly everyone is on your case like you're some sort of monster..."

"Well no shit you were locked up."

"I'm joking. You know exactly why I was locked up..."

"Just Because people... die... if they read you isn't your fault though." Fluttershy said softly.

"See? She gets it." The Necronomicon chuckled.

"Okay. Well Tucker are you going to come or not?" Church asked. "Because if we're going to do it we have to do it soon."

"Fine I guess, but just because I want to be there if Caboose starts eating you."

"If any of you are having second thoughts, now would be the time to leave because once we start there's no going back..."

Fluttershy looked at the ground and mumbled something.

"You okay?" Grif asked.

"I don't know about this... this seems so wrong."

"These guys have done worse." Grif chuckled. "Listen, why don't you go hang out with Pinkie and keep her company or whatever."

Fluttershy nodded and slowly started to make her way to Sugar Cube Corner.

"Anyone else?" Church asked once more and waited five seconds for someone to speak. "Good, then let's go."

Twilight led the others to Ponyville's morgue, which was a small building located right next to the hospital. She stopped at the entrance, beginning to have second thoughts, but she looked back at Church who was giving her a concerned look.

"Something wrong?" Church asked.

"I'm beginning to think this isn't right..."

"I know but you have to listen to me. I think I would be able to live without him, but when I saw Pinkie she looked like nothing mattered to her anymore. When I made that promise to Caboose that I would look after her I meant it, and it looked like bringing him back would be the only way I could do that for him."

Twilight nodded and took a deep breath before entering through the door.

"Listen, you guys stay out here and we'll be back out soon." Church said as he walked through the door.

When he entered he saw a light blue pony with sad looking eyes at the desk.

"Hello." The pony said with a pitiful smile. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"Yeah we were just wondering if we could see our friend who passed away over two weeks ago."

"What is your name?"

"I'm Church."

"Any reason in particular you want to see his body?"

"We were his friends." Twilight explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry for your loss." The pony said sadly. "Are you here to say some final goodbyes?" Church and Twilight both nodded. "Follow me." The pony said, opening a door to reveal a long hallway.

She silently lead Twilight and Church to the end of the hall where there was a locked door. She took a key off the hook next to the door and unlocked it.

"Come and tell me when you're finished and I'll lock up." The pony said before making her way back to the front desk.

Twilight and Church looked at each other before walking in to the room. The room was completely empty except for a large table in the middle of the room where Caboose lay peacefully.

"He looks like he's asleep." Twilight said, examining him, instantly noting stitches. "They even managed to patch up his wound."

"We going to do this or what?" The Necronomicon asked.

"Yeah yeah." Church grunted, taking the book out of Twilight's bag. "So if we let you do this you're not going to run once you're in him, right?"

"I'm not as strong as I used to be. I have to stay within a short distance of myself to stay in control."

"Do we have to do anything?"

"No, just place me next to him and I can do the rest."

Church walked up to the table that Caboose was on and placed the Necronomicon next to his head. A red mist came out of the book and surrounded Caboose's body, quickly seeping in. Twilight and Church stared silently as Caboose's hoof twitched and he slowly sat up. Caboose's eyelids shot open, revealing a pair of red serpent like eyes that gazed around the room.

"Been awhile since I had a body." The Necronomicon said, placing his book body in Twilight's bag. "Let's hurry, I'm not sure if my power can last that long."

The Ruined Mind

"Okay, I'm going to get this out of my system right now." Church muttered as the Necronomicon cracked Caboose's neck. "You're fucked up."

"You're far too kind." The Necronomicon bowed.

"Let's hurry out of here, I'm not too sure if the morgue will like us taking their property."

"Every dead pony belongs to me, so therefore I have eternal dibs." The Necronomicon laughed, walking towards the door.

"He does not belong to you."

"Lighten up, it could be worse."

"How?"

"I could look like you."

"Fuck you asshole."

"Be quiet." Twilight hushed as she reached the end of the hallway. "We're done. Thank you for letting us do this, it really means a lot to us."

"Once again I'm very sorry for your loss." The pony said quietly. "I'll go lock the room now."

"Oh I wouldn't worry about that now." The Necronomicon chuckled as he walked through the door and stared directly at the pony.

The pony stared slackjawed at the reanimated body, debating between running or fainting.

"What's the matter, never seen the reanimated dead before?"

The pony's eyes rolled up as she fell to the floor and blacked out.

"How rude, she didn't even ask if I needed anything to drink." The Necronomicon said bitterly as Twilight started checking to make sure the pony would be alright. "Well? Let's get this show on the road."

"Is she going to be alright?" Church asked.

"Probably." Twilight sighed. "At least now we don't have to explain anything to her, and with any luck she won't remember this happened."

"It isn't everyday the dead walk." The Necronomicon chuckled a he walked through the front door. "Hello everypony, how are we all doing on this fine night?"

"Man you're fucked up." Tucker said as he saw Caboose's eyes.

"You guys are in serious need of a material change..."

"Screw you cockbite."

"At least that's a new one."

"Actually, we've been saying that for a while." Simmons noted.

"Y'know, seeing these guys has gotten me curious." The Necronomicon said, scratching Caboose's chin. "Why in Equestria are the Elements of Harmony hanging out with these losers?"

"I'll show you who is a loser!" Grif said, jumping at the Necronomicon.

The Necronomicon yawned and leaned ever so slightly to the left, making Grif miss and slam his chin into the ground.

"Ow my chin!" Grif complained, rubbing his jaw.

"They may seem a lil rough around th' edges, but they mean well." Applejack said.

"Right, you continue believing that and I'll continue believing that I am a waffle." The Necronomicon said, walking away. "Let's go, we're burning moonlight."

The others looked at each other before quickly following the walking corpse towards the Everfree Forest.

"So what was it like being caged up like a lion with roid rage for so long?" Tucker asked once they reached the edge of the forest.

"To be honest it wasn't too bad." The Necronomicon sighed. "Sure nights got lonely and such, and the company there was mostly others trying to plot to take down Celestia but it gives you a lot of time to think. Thinking about past mistakes, what you would have done differently and what not."

"Such as?" Church inquired.

"Well for starters if I knew I'd be around you guys I wouldn't have said anything when they found me. That was my first mistake. Actually now that I think back on it, that's really the only thing I regret."

"You could try being a little nicer to him under the circumstances." Rarity said.

"You think he is the only one to have lost someone? Many have lost, but few have been given the chance to go back to the way thing used to be. If anypony here should be treated with more respect it should be me. Heck, I'm doing this as a freebie." The Necronomicon said as he grabbed a branch from a tree. "By the way, once this is over do you think you can write me a letter of recommendation to the Princess?"

"Why?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Why not?" The Necronomicon retorted as he released the branch, allowing it to shoot back and hit Church in the face.

"Does this letter have something to do with your plans for after this, because I know you're not doing this for the fresh air." Church said, rubbing his nose.

"You mean, do I have, like, ulterior motives?" The Necronomicon asked with genuine shock. "I'm offended, Church."

"Wounded even?" Tucker asked.

"Hurt, Church."

"Tucker, don't encourage him." Church groaned.

"Ah, here we are!" The Necronomicon boomed, gazing contemplatively at the ruins of the castle that were across an old wooden bridge.

"So where are the catacombs?" Twilight asked as she started walking across the bridge. "I didn't notice any entrance last time we were here."

"Well the entrance used to be blocked by the Elements of Harmony, but now that they're gone..."

"We can gain access." Twilight nodded slowly.

"There was a reason they were kept here rather than in Canterlot you know." The Necronomicon explained as they reached the end of the bridge. "The catacombs are a place of chaotic magic. A place where many ponies feared to tread. My old home. Celestia, however, had the idea of moving me into the Archaic Wing so she could keep a close eye on me. She only told one other about me."

"That's why I was unaware of you being there." Twilight said thoughtfully.

"Ironically it did more damage than good. She hadn't realized that when she brought me there that the one she told would have tried to read me."

"One of her friends read you?"

"Indeed."

"What was their name?"

"I have a feeling you already know the answer to that." The Necronomicon smirked, turning to enter the ruins.

"I don't think I-" Twilight began before her jaw dropped and she stared nervously into Caboose's snake like eyes. "No..."

"Indeed." The Necronomicon confirmed with a dark smile.

Twilight turned to Church, who was now crossing the bridge with Sarge.

"What are you two talking about?" Church asked.

"Oh, nothing really, just chit-chatting." The Necronomicon said quickly, walking into the ruins.

"Did he say something to bother you?" Church whispered to Twilight.

"We need to leave." Twilight said softly, beginning to walk towards the bridge.

"What did he say to you?" Church asked, firmly this time.

"I-I can't..." Twilight trailed off, trying to think of what to say next.

"You can go if you want, but I'm still doing this. We've made it too far to turn back now. And even if we did, he would still have Caboose's body and I don't like the idea of him staying in there for too long. His mind is scattered enough as is."

Twilight regretfully stopped moving and took a deep breath. She slowly turned back to Church and nodded before sullenly walking back towards the ruins.

"What's wrong with Twilight?" Rainbow Dash asked as she crossed the bridge with Applejack and Tucker.

"I don't know." Church said as Twilight disappeared into the darkness of the ruins. "Well, here goes nothing."

Back to Normal, or as Close as it's Going to Get

The red pony got off the floor and charged at Delta.

"Delta watch out!" Church yelled, ramming himself into the red pony to disorient it.

Before the red pony gained its senses but the room flashed green and the group found themselves in Twilight's library. Delta sat in the middle of the room and began to concentrate on the situation.

"Delta?" Twilight asked quietly.

"Yes Twilight Sparkle, how can I be of assistance?"

"Oh good, you know my name." Twilight sighed. "What happened back there?"

"Do the others know of Epsilon's origins?" Delta asked curiously.

"No, they don't."

"Then it is required that they know before we go further. The other fragments of the Alpha were all but eviscerated after the E.M.P-."

"Emp." Tucker corrected.

"E.M.P." Delta retorted. "It stands for "Electromagnetic P-"

"It stands for emp." Church said. "It's an emp."

"Moving on. When the E.M- emp went off, it deleted me as well as the other AI fragments."

"What is an AI?" Rarity asked.

"Please don't get him start-"

"An AI is a fabricated source of intelligence, or Artificial Intelligence if you will. Epsilon, the other fragments and I were a part of the AI named Alpha. And when he was forced to go through many trials in which he is forced to never succee-"

"Anypony know what he is talking about?" Rainbow Dash asked bluntly.

"Church is Epsilon." Twilight explained. "He was a part of the Alpha when he was put through many tests where he had no possible chance of success. This caused him to go crazy and the Alpha split off into multiple other AI's, or personalities. Delta is logic and Church is the Alpha's memory."

"That's why he got his mark when he said-"

"Memory is the key." Delta nodded. "Epsilon somehow survived the pulse, and because he is memory he retained knowledge of the other fragments and I, so when that beam struck him it somehow brought us back through his memories of us."

"Didn't Sigma try to bring all of the AI's back together to recreate the Alpha?" Twilight asked edgily.

"That is correct."

"Then shouldn't we be back there trying to keep them apart?"

"That is not necessary as of yet." Delta said, shaking his head. "For now, they feel nothing but what they are. Omega has his rage, Gamma has his deceit, Sigma has his creativity, Allison feels nothing but failure and Theta ha-"

"Allison?" Church asked. "You mean Tex? Tex is alive?"

"Yes."

"We have to go in there and get her."

"That would be most unwise. In the state they are all in they would surely kill you. The best course of action would be to stay and get a nights rest, which will allow them to leave the catacombs and split up into the surrounding area, where we can try to trap them when they are alone."

"How can we be sure you're not as dangerous as them?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"I am the Alphas logic, I have no mere primal instincts like the others."

"So what was with you throwing O'Malley back there?" Tucker asked. "I thought you were opposed to fighting."

"Normally that would be the case, but under the circumstances it was necessary. Had I not intervened there was a high probability that one of you would have been fatally injured. Now for the matter of resting. Everyone should go home and go to sleep as soon as possible. You will all need to be in top condition for this."

"I like the way he thinks." Grif yawned as he walked out the door. "C'mon Caboose, I need to go pick up Fluttershy."

"Okay!" Caboose said excitedly, hopping after Grif.

"You should go too." Twilight whispered to Church.

"Yeah." Church nodded, quickly catching up with Grif and Caboose.

Once they arrived at Sugar Cube Corner, Church walked up to the door and knocked.

"It's open." A voice said from inside.

"Listen Caboose, I'm going to need you to stay out here while I go talk to them." Church said slowly.

"Alrighty." Caboose said happily.

Church gave Caboose an appreciative nod and walked into the sweets store to see Mr. Cake taking some treats off of display.

"Hello Church, what brings you here this late?"

"Listen, I'm going to need you to stay calm and keep an open mind, okay?"

"I'd like to think I always keep an open mind." Mr. Cake said with a small laugh.

"You say that now..." Church muttered. "Come in."

Caboose ran through the door and up to the counter and began to look at all the cupcakes on display. Mr. Cake's eyes shot wide open and he fell to the floor unconscious.

"So much for keeping an open mind." Grif chuckled as he threw a cupcake into his mouth. "Hey these are really good."

"They're the best." Caboose agreed.

"Let's go upstairs and find Fluttershy and Pinkie so you can stop eating and sleep."

"Eat or sleep. Man that's is a tough choice."

"Shut up." Church muttered, making his way up the stairs.

Caboose and Grif looked at each other before they followed Church up to Pinkie's room. Church coughed and knocked on the door a few times.

"Who is it?" Pinkie asked.

"That's your cue." Church said, elbowing Caboose in the side.

"Oh yeah." Caboose laughed before turning around and walking away from the door.

"Where's he going?" Grif asked Church.

"It's Caboose, I've learned not to question what he does on account of there never being an obvious answer."

"Good point."

Caboose jumped in the air and did a one eighty degree spin. He then bent over and charged towards the door, taking it off of its hinges as he tumbled across the floor and crashed into the bed.

"Oh dear." Fluttershy said, flying over to Caboose to help him up.

"Sorry, there was a door on my way." Caboose said as he sprung back to his feet. He looked over to Pinkie who was laying on her bed with a look of confusion. "Hello!"

Pinkie scooted backwards on the bed, scared of Caboose. Gummy suddenly jumped from under the bed and latched onto Caboose's head.

"Hello Gummy, it is nice to see you too." Caboose giggled as he patted Gummy on the tummy. Caboose jumped onto the bed and landed next to Pinkie. "Why are you sad?"

Pinkie lifted a shaky hoof and poked Caboose's leg. She slowly edged forward and poked him on the chin, which made him laugh.

"Y-you're alright." Pinkie said weakly, tears now beginning to well in her eyes.

"I'm not alright, I'm Caboose!"

Pinkie laughed through the tears and began to hug Caboose with no intent of letting go.

Polite Inquiries

"So greenie, you're a ghost like that other idiot?" The Necronomicon asked.

"No, I am an-"

"AI yadda yadda, I don't believe in any of those crackpot theories."

"You do not believe that ghosts are a crackpot theory?" Delta asked.

"I'm living proof that they aren't buddy boy."

"Living may be a term not suited for you."

"What do you mean by that?" The Necronomicon asked harshly.

"Much like me you have a physical manifestation but we do not require things that living things do, such as eating or sleeping."

"I'm more than a physical manifestation! I'll show you!" The Necronomicon yelled, trying to move towards Delta.

"You are a book." Delta said, placing his hoof on the Necronomicon. "A talking book, but a book nonetheless."

"I'll show you whose a book!"

"What does that mean?" Delta asked, silencing the Necronomicon for a few seconds.

"You win this round..."

"I would like to believe that I will win every round due to me being far more insightful than you."

"Twilight, Delta is calling me names!" The Necronomicon pouted.

"And?" Twilight asked from the room over.

"Nobody sides with Ol'Necky." The Necronomicon grunted.

"Maybe it is due to the fact that you are misunderstood." Delta suggested.

"Tell me about it..."

Twilight came out of the kitchen with two cups of tea and placed them on the table.

"Aw, you shouldn't have." The Necronomicon said happily.

"Shouldn't have what?" Twilight asked.

"Gotten me a cup of tea."

"One is for me and one is for Delta." Twilight laughed. "What would a book do with a liquid?"

"Nobody sides with Ol'Necky." The Necronomicon repeated, more quietly this time.

Twilight rolled her eyes and put the Necronomicon in the bookshelf to silence him.

"You brought me tea?" Delta asked, walking up to the table.

"Yes, I thought you could use it."

"But I do not require it so I have no use for it as I am an AI."

"Church needs to eat and sleep just as much as me, so something tells me that you do too."

"But that is impossible." Delta said.

"Even so, it would be rude to reject my offer in my own home."

"Very well." Delta said, clearing his throat.

He slowly approached the table and used magic to bring the cup to his mouth. He examined the liquid as well as the steam that was coming out of the surface before taking a small sip. He placed the cup back on the table and began to stare at it.

"What is this feeling I have in my mouth?"

"You mean tasting?"

"I do not think this is tasting, I believe it has something to do with the temperature at which you gave the tea to me."

"It is hot, so maybe it is pain that you're feeling."

"Ah, pain." Delta nodded slowly. "I do not enjoy it."

"Most don't." Twilight said with a small laugh.

"I can see why. It provides quite the discomfort in the area it is affecting."

"Delta do you think you could help me?"

"I am not sure if it is possible."

"Not sure if what is possible?" Twilight asked confusedly.

"For someone to love more than one person. That is what you were going to ask after all." Delta said as he looked through the books. He grabbed one off the shelves and began reading it while Twilight stared at the ground. "I do not think that would be wise."

"Wha-"

"For you to ask him that same question when he gets back. Epsilon's mind is unstable, much like mine as well as the other AIs, so I do not think that would be the best course of action."

"I never said I liked Church."

"I was incorrect?" Delta asked hesitantly. "I apologize, I had just assumed. In that case it is entirely possible for one to love more than one other, but Church has fabricated love and cannot deny it, no matter how hard he tries."

"Is there-"

"-anything you can do?" Delta finished, shaking his head. "Not that I can see."

"How do you know wh-"

"-at you are going to say? I merely think through all the things I would believe you to say, then I narrow them down to the most probable ones by the time you begin speaking. By that point I narrow the selection even further by the first few words of the question or statement and come to the conclusion of what you are going to say prior to you saying it." Delta explained matter-of-factly. "You of all sentient ponies should know that. It's quite simple really."

The door to the library swung open and Church slowly walked in and looked between Twilight and Delta.

"I am going to assume that everything went well?" Delta asked.

"Yeah, it did." Church yawned. "If you don't mind I think I am going to go to bed."

"Good, I will wake you in the morning for when we need to go."

"Lovely." Church muttered sarcastically before climbing the stairs. "Night Twilight."

"Good night Church." Twilight nodded.

Church closed the door to his room, leaving Twilight to her thoughts.

"For what it is worth he trusts and respects you more than I would've thought possible. In fact he doesn't even trust himself. But he values your friendship much more than you think, and that may be what he needs more than anything else."

"Thank you Delta." Twilight said with a smile and a nod.

"Now, like the others, I would recommend you get some rest for tomorrow." Delta said pensively. Twilight opened her mouth to speak but Delta spoke up again. "I am not quite sure what we are going to do with them once we catch them. Being the Alpha is not what needs to happen, nor is putting the AIs back inside his head the best of moves. There is a chance that we could convince them to live life as they see fit, but that could raise more problems. I will dwell on this when you are sleeping."

"What are you two talking about?" Pinkie asked, appearing from behind Delta.

"Where did-"

"-I come from?" Pinkie asked. "Around. Who are you?"

"Oh, this is Delta, he is a green pony!" Caboose said, appearing in front of Delta.

Delta turned to Twilight with a look of confusion.

"I don't know how either, but somehow they can do that." Twilight shrugged.

"How are you to able to do that?" Delta inquired.

"I used my mouth, see?" Caboose said as he opened and closed his mouth repeatedly.

"Yes Caboose, I am fully aware of the concept of speaking, I am merely noting the impossibility of appearing out of thin air without any prior presence in the-"

"Gee, he talks a lot doesn't he?" Pinkie giggled, poking him in the back. Delta closed his eyes and attempted to think of a reasonable explanation for her appearing. "Well it's nice to meet you Mr. Delta!"

"It is nice to see you too Pinkie." Delta said quietly. Delta opened his eyes and looked around the room, where Caboose and Pinkie were now missing. He turned to Twilight and coughed. "How..."

"You're preaching to the choir, Delta." Twilight laughed as she walked up the stairs.

The Bait

Church was awoken by the sound of knocking. He slowly sat up and stared at the door.

"Can I come in?" Spike asked from the other side of the door.

"I guess so." Church grunted.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good, why?" Church asked as he rubbed his face.

"Twi kinda filled me in on what's happened." Spike said as he hopped onto Church's bed.

"You manage to understand it?"

"I think so." Spike said quietly. "That Delta guy kinda talks a lot."

"Yes he does." Church laughed.

"So what are you going to do to them?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean are you going to try an put those other guys back in your head?"

"I'll tell you when I figure that out."

"Well, Delta just wanted me to tell you that the others are here and that I should wake you up."

"Thanks then." Church yawned. "Tell him I'll be down in half a minute."

"He said to take as much time as you need." Spike chuckled as he jumped off of the bed to make his way to the door. "Don't worry I'll tell him you said thanks."

“Glad to hear it.” Church sighed, falling back down on the bed to stare at the ceiling.

Spike closed the door and looked down the stairs to see everyone Delta giving Pinkie a curious eye.

“You are quite the oddity.” Delta remarked as Pinkie hopped around the room. “This may be used to our advantage if I can just figure out how you work.”

“Please don’t try to understand it Delta, just leave it be.” Twilight insisted.

“But she is a logical impossibility, I must know how she does it.” Delta said. he turned up the stairs and looked at Spike. “He will be down in half a minute.”

“If you know that then why did you make me go up there?” Spike asked.

“It is to my understanding that you would like to feel useful so I have created a use for you.”

“Gee, thanks.” Spike muttered.

“You do not approve?”

“Well I don’t think going to get Church is really that helpful.” Spike said as he grabbed a bowl of gems off of the table.

“I apologize, I will try to think of ways you can help after we get the other pieces back.”

"Maybe I could help with that." Spike suggested as he grabbed a gem out of the bowl and threw it in his mouth.

"No, you're staying here." Twilight said firmly.

"But I never get to go on any adventures with you guys..."

"That's because I don't want to see you get hurt."

"But I can breath fire! I can totally help!"

"I'm sorry Spike, but this is going to be extremely dangerous..."

"Actually, I believe a dragon could prove to be quite useful in these circumstances." Delta said.

"See?" Spike beamed as he jumped onto Twilight's back. "He's logic, he knows what he's talking about."

"What about me?" The Necronomicon muffled from the bookshelf.

"You are a book, you can be of no help to us." Delta answered.

"Okay, I changed my mind. You red and blue guys are alright." The Necronomicon grunted. "It's the green guy that I can't stand now."

"I regret to inform you but that does not sound like a direct insult to me, but more of a complement to the others."

"I hate you so much..."

"So what's the plan?" Sarge asked as he kicked the air with his feet.

"The plan is we capture them." Church said as he came from downstairs.

"That would be the better road to travel." Delta nodded.

"How the hell are we going to catch them? Do you have a net?" Grif asked.

"We are going to try and talk to them and get them to come back."

"Are you kidding?" Simmons asked. "That's a terrible plan!"

"How so?" Delta retorted. "I am not sure if they can go back into Church's mind, and we cannot recreate the Alpha."

"Why not?"

"Because you do not want to die."

"Oh that's reasonable." Simmons said sincerely.

The girls looked at each other while the guys just nodded at each other.

"If he becomes this Alpha we may die?" Rarity asked nervously.

"It is not a matter of you may die, but a matter of you will die." Delta said as he shook his head. "The Alpha is unstable, and bringing him back together has a ninety nine percent chance of destruction with a one percent margin of error.”

The girls looked at each other and then to Church, beginning to grow fearful of him.

"He is not going to harm you, and I do not believe he appreciates you staring at him believing that to be the case."

"Is there anything stopping those other guys from trying to get put back together?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"They do not have their memories anymore now that they have been split off from Epsilon, so they have no need or recollection of the Alpha."

"Is there any way that they will gain their memories back?" Twilight asked.

"When Epsilon nears them they may begin to slowly get them back, but since they are not working together we will not get overwhelmed by them."

"How are you so sure they're not working together." Rainbow Dash asked skeptically. Delta opened his mouth to answer but Rainbow Dash nodded. "Right, you're logic or whatever."

"You sound unconvinced."

"How do we know that you aren't working with the others to become the Alpha?"

"Because I have no need for it." Delta said calculatingly. "Are you ponies always so slow to trust?"

"Yes." The Necronomicon answered before the others could.

"This isn't getting us anywhere." Church said loudly, causing the others to turn to him. "We need to stop talking and get them already, I don't want them to cause too much damage to the surrounding area."

"That would be best." Delta nodded. "Grif, you will need to stay close to Church."

"Why's that?" Grif asked hesitantly.

"Because I have a feeling that Allison will be drawn to Epsilon."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

"I have a feeling that you would be quite the help when we face Allison."

"Grif. Help?" Sarge sputtered.

"Fuck you Sarge." Grif said before turning his attention back to Delta. "How do you figure I'd be any help with Tex?"

"It is quite simple." Delta said, walking out the door. "When she gains her senses back we will need bait."

"Bait? What are you..." Grif muttered. "Oh fuck you Delta. If I could flip you off right now, I totally would."

"What does did he mean by bait?" Fluttershy asked.

"We'll just leave it at Tex holds a grudge on Grif's manhood and Delta wants to use that to our advantage."

"His manhood?" Fluttershy asked, turning to Grif. She stared at him for a few seconds until she saw Grif instinctively holding his crotch. Fluttershy averted her gaze and began to blush when she figured it out.

"Tell me about it." Grif sighed. "Let's get this over with so I can go back to sleep."

"Something tells me you're going to need to sleep on your back for the next couple of months after today." Tucker said as he walked past Grif. "So where to first?"

"I would suggest starting at the area at which they were brought back." Delta said as he looked at the sky. "There may be clues to their whereabouts there."

Summarizations

The group quickly got ready and set off for the castle's ruins in an attempt to find any clues that could lead to any of the fragments. Church, Twilight and Spike were a few meters behind Delta who was ahead of the pack while the rest of the group kept a few meters behind Church because the girls were still not too sure on either Church's or Delta's intentions.

"So." Spike said suddenly as they neared Fluttershy's cottage.

"So." Church repeated.

"Do you think those other guys like you could live in Ponyville?" Spike asked. "I mean, Delta sorta seems alright, but what about that rage guy and the deceit guy?"

"I'm not sure." Church shrugged.

"Don't you think it would be better to come up with a plan before doing this then?"

"I'm open to suggestions."

"Well we could ask Celestia-"

"Okay I'm going to stop you right there. I don't want that bitch to have anything to do in my affairs."

"So you really don't like her, huh?" Spike said quietly.

"That's an understatement." Church grunted.

"Y'know, maybe the reason the girls are kinda wary of you know is because you hate Celestia so much."

"As far as I'm concerned they can think what they want and I can think what I want." Church shrugged. "It's not like I'm hating on her for no reason. She treats her so called subjects poorly, and what goes around comes around."

"Please Church, she does what she feels is necessary." Twilight insisted.

"How can you still defend her after the wedding?"

"She just didn't have enough time to apologize, that's all." Twilight said confidently.

"She's the Princess, she can make time."

"Church-"

"Your arguing is nonsensical. I would advise both of you lay this conversation to rest unless you wish to say something both of you will regret." Delta said loudly, as he entered the forest.

"Glad somebody said it." Tucker muttered.

"So what are the others like? I understand that they have larger traits that define who they are, but that cannot be their only attribute."

"O'Mally likes to talk a lot, Tex is a complete psycho bitch, Sigma seems to want a lot of power and Gamma says terrible jokes."

"Okay, what else?"

"That's pretty much all we know."

"So we don't know where they are, we don't know what they're like and we don't have a plan?" Rainbow Dash muttered disbelievingly.

"Exactly."

"I don't think this is going to end well..."

"Well when you put it that way of course it doesn't."

"What way would you put it in to make it sound better?"

"We'll play it by ear." Tucker said with a smile. "Y'know, ad-lib. Wing i-"

"I don't think the following sentence can be said enough. This seems like a horrible idea."

"Of course it is." Simmons said. "If it was a good idea we wouldn't be the ones doing it."

"Hey, uh, I just thought of something." Grif muttered. "What's stopping the AI guys from trying to possess us or whatever?"

Delta stopped and looked back to Grif, trying to think of something to say.

"That's what I thought. So should we-"

"No, this is good. We now have the means of which to capture them, that is assuming they are still capable of doing so."

"Here's an idea, how about we turn back and leave and just let those guys live in the forest." Grif said sincerely. "It's not even that bad in there. I mean sure, there are those wolves..."

"And snake chicken things..." Tucker added.

"And the multi-headed lizard..."

"No Church blew that one up, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Well there you go, now it's not even so bad in there. Sure they might get turned into a tree or a statue, but so what?" Grif asked.

"They will not be stopped by mere animals." Delta explained. "They may not be functioning as fully as they will be, but they are still infinitely more dangerous than most of the creatures in this forest. If we do not find them then they will undoubtedly end up finding us. It is best if we are the ones doing the finding since it allows us to have the element of surprise and possibly end this quickly before it gets out of control."

"Want to know what? Fuck you and your logic."

"I do not believe that is physically possible, nor would I want to do so even if it were." Delta said. Grif opened his mouth to argue, but Delta interrupted him. "We are approaching the bridge so I would suggest calming yourself unless it is in your interest to see if there are any of the fragments nearby. More specifically if you wish to see if Allison recalls who you are."

Grif looked quickly looked around and ducked behind a bush.

"I find your decision to be quite agreeable."

"Shut up."

"Tucker I would recommend that you stand guard out here while the rest of us go inside."

"What? Why?" Tucker asked hesitantly.

"Because we will need someone to notify us if any of the other fragments come back."

"Why can't I stay out here?" Grif asked. "I can totally stand guard."

"Your eye is not as keen as Tucker's." Delta remarked as he began to walk over the bridge.

"My eyes are totally keen." Grif grumbled as he trudged across the bridge.

One by one the group crossed the bridge until everyone but Tucker was looking through the doorway. Some of the pillars that were upright were now destroyed, the vines ad cobwebs had been torn off the walls and the statue that was in place to hold the elements was cracked in half.

"Okay Grif, you go to the middle of the room and see if any of them are watching." Church said, pushing Grif ahead of him.

"Fuck that, look at the place. It's a wreck. Whoever did this is probably long gone."

"I do not believe this to be the case." Delta said as he looked at the damage done to the building. "One of them may be using this place as shelter for the night."

"But why do I have to do it?"

"Because you are the most disposable."

Grif sighed and walked to the middle of the room and began to look at the pillars, checking to make sure nobody was hiding behind them.

"Say something." Church said quietly.

"Anybody here?" Grif called out. After no answer he smiled and began to walk back to the others. "What can I say? I tried my hardest. Oh well, no harm no fou-"

"Hello?" A weak voice said, which caused Grif to come to a slow stop.

Grif turned around to see a dark gray pony came out of the shadows of one of the pillars. She looked to be strong, but she had crimson red hair that swept over her face which gave her a weak demeanor. Because the pony appeared harmless, making the girls think that she was not apart of the Alpha, but simply just lost. It wasn't until Church groaned that the girls understood who it was.

"Tex."

What She Does Best

"Oh shit." Grif said, taking a few steps back.

"What?" Tex asked, turning her head to see behind her. "What's wrong?"

"Please don't kill me, I'm far too lazy to die."

"Hurt you? Why would I do that?"

"Like you don't know." Grif said weakly as he bumped into one of the fallen pillars.

"I don't remember anything, okay?"

"Yeah fucking right, you tell me that now but once my back is turned BOOM. You hit me in my balls again."

Tex gave Grif a look of confusion but said nothing.

"Do you really not remember or are you just trying to get my guard down?" Grif asked seriously. "Because if it's the second thing, that's seriously uncool."

"Listen, all I know is I woke up and there was a bunch of other horse assholes that began fighting each other. I came up here, but a red one chased me and pretty much broke everything in here. I tried to fight back, but well..." Tex trailed off as she showed her ribs, which had a series of bruises on it. "Let's just say that guy is an asshole. That's all I know right now, and you babbling on isn't exactly making anything clearer."

"Oh well in that case, you were one of my closest friends and you would never hurt me."

"Really?" Tex asked bluntly.

"Yup."

"You don't seem like the sort of guy I'd hang around..."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"No offense, but you sort of seem like an idiot. Actually now that you mention it, something about you seems-"

"Yeah well we're actually best friends if I remember it right." Grif said quickly.

"If we're best friends then why did you act like I was going to kill you?"

"Oh that. That's just a little joke we like to do, don't you remember. Please don't rip my skull out and beat me with it." Grif laughed weakly. "See? A joke."

Tex gave him a small frown and looked around the room until her eyes rested on the stallion walking towards her.

"Huh. And those more of our friends?"

Tex began to focus on Church's cutie mark and shuddered violently. Her eyes became cloudy and she began to sway back and fourth, giving the sense that she was going to fall. Grif stepped forward and stopped her, giving her time to regain her balance.

"Grif?" Tex asked suddenly, voice back to it's normal strength.

"Oh hey, she remembers me." Grif laughed. With a sigh of relief he let her go and dusted himself off before starting to walk away. His eyes darted back to Tex who was giving him a harsh glare. "Oh fuck she remembers me!"

Tex grabbed Grif by the tail as he attempted to run away, pulled him towards her and slammed her hoof into his crotch. Grif let out a soundless scream and his face quickly turned bright red. She then grabbed him by his tail, swung him in the air a few times before slamming him into the ground. She turned around and threw Grif a couple feet ahead of her.

"Anytime now guys." Grif said weakly as Tex began walking towards him. "Guys?"

Tex grabbed Grif by his hind legs and threw him into the air, causing him to slam his head onto the ceiling of the ruins. As he fell back down she jumped in the air and kneed him in the balls.

"Guys." Grif wheezed as he crashed into the floor.

Tex grabbed Grif by the wing and threw him into one of the few remaining pillars, shattering it completely. Grif slowly started to get off the floor, but Tex lifted him by the throat and he began to choke.

"Y'know, this doesn't hurt as much as... I remember..."

"What?"

"Must be me being part tree and all." Grif said with a small smile.

Tex dropped him on the ground and huffed.

"Why'd you stop?" Church asked as he approached her.

"Fuck you." Grif grunted quietly.

"I guess hurting him just isn't as much fun if I can't... well... hurt him." Tex said sadly. "So what's the deal? Why the fuck am I a horse."

"Long story." Church grunted.

"I have time."

"I am afraid that time is the one thing we do not have." Delta said as he walked to Church's side.

"Delta?" Tex asked confusedly.

"Hello Allison. It is more or less good to see that your memory has returned to you. This will make the process much easier. Now I would suggest-"

"How is Delta still alive?" Tex asked. Her eyes shot open and she looked at the ground, memories from before flooding back to her. "How am I still alive?"

"The short version is Caboose died, we tried to bring him back, we succeeded, but then we brought the other AIs back with him."

"All of them?"

"Shouldn't the part you bring up the fact that we brought Caboose back to life?"

"That can wait. So all of them?"

"Epsilon got hit by a beam that was supposed to bring back those that were dead. Since it was supposed to bring back the dead when it struck Epsilon, it brought Gamma, Sigma, Omega, Theta, you and I back into the artificially living world. Now the others are still free and if we do not stop them soon they very well may harm the innocents of this world."

"We?"

"Yes, we are to-"

"At what point did I agree to any of this?"

"I'll let you hit Grif again." Church said coolly.

"Deal." Tex said as she bucked Grif in the chin.

"Ow, my chin." Grif said weakly before collapsing to the floor.

"Man it's good to be back." Tex said with a wicked smile.

"Is it safe to come in?" Simmons asked as he peered through the doorway.

"Are they all here?"

"Just the reds, Caboose, Tucker and me." Church sighed as he tapped Grif on the shoulder, causing him to slowly get back up.

"Well we kind of have another Andy." Simmons grunted.

"Yeah but he's a prick. Maybe even more so than Andy."

"More of a prick than Andy?" Tex asked with a raised brow. "Who is it?"

"Hello Tex!" Caboose said loudly, causing Tex to lose her train of thought. "How are you tonight?"

"Fine Caboose." Tex murmured as she watched Twilight enter the ruins. She narrowed her eyes and began to sneer. "You!"

"Allison." Twilight replied coldly.

"Don't you fucking dare call me that again or I swear I'll kill you this time." Tex snapped, taking a step towards Twilight.

"You'll have to go through me first." Church said, walking in front of Tex.

"Our time would best be used trying to find the other fragments. Violence will get us nowhere."

Tex rolled her eyes and stormed past Twilight without saying anything.

"Where is she going?" Rarity asked.

"If you guys want to stand around and talk like you always do, go ahead. But I'm going to do what I do best." Tex said as she reached the bridge.

"What does she mean by that?"

"She's going to find something to hurt." Church said, walking out the door.

Gamma Radiation

"Did you see anything?" Tex asked as she walked past Tucker. Tucker opened his mouth but Tex cut him off with a rough laughed. "Of course you didn't."

"Still a total bitch, huh?" Tucker muttered as Church next to him.

"Does that surprise you?"

"Not really." Tucker shrugged. "So where's she going?"

"She's going to try and find some of the fragments on her own."

"Well at least she didn't try to kill any of us this time..."

"Tell that to Grif."

"Oh, is the ball hitting curse back to him now?" Tucker laughed as he got off the ground.

"Give it time, this could be just a fluke. Maybe someone will start beating your balls again."

"Bow chicka bow wow."

"What are you guy talking about?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Church and Tucker turned to see that the others had now crossed the bridge.

"Oh you know, the usual." Tucker shrugged.

"There is no time for idle chat, we must go down the path to see if we can find any whereabouts of the other fragments." Delta said as he continued walking.

The group nodded and they traveled down the trail until the path became obstructed by a large amount of flora.

"This is unusual." Twilight said as she examined the bushes.

"What?" Church asked.

"There weren't any bushes when we came by here last time."

A yellow pony suddenly burst out of the bushes and stared nervously at the group.

"Which one is this one?" Applejack asked.

"What's that?" The yellow pony asked in a voice that varied in pitch as he pointed a shaky hoof behind the group.

The girls turned their heads to look behind them but saw nothing. The yellow pony took a few step back when he realized not all of them had looked.

"Gary." Church said flatly.

The yellow pony looked at Church's cutie mark and his eyes misted over for a brief moment before returning to their previous state. The yellow pony smirked and jumped back into the bush.

"We need to get him as fast as we can. Gamma will be one of the trickier ones to catch." Delta said as he set a quick pace towards the bush. "He does however have one advantage over us."

"And what's that?" Church asked.

"There are two paths behind this bush."

Church looked over the bush and saw a fork in the trail, neither of which had Gamma anywhere in sight.

"Well that's just great." Rainbow Dash muttered.

"Why don't Rainbow Dash and I just fly above the trees and find him that way?" Tucker asked.

"The trees are too close together where there is no path so that effort would be in vain if he went off the set path." Delta answered.

"And since he's deceit he probably did just that." Twilight added.

"Alright reds, you go down the path on the left. Tucker, Caboose, Delta and I will go down the other." Church said as he hopped over the bush.

"What about us?" Fluttershy asked.

"I think you girls should try and find Tex to make sure she doesn't hurt anyone other than Grif and the other fragments." Church said as the other guys jumped over

"Not cool." Grif muttered.

"Hold it blue, you have four and we have three." Sarge grunted. "These aren't balanced teams."

"Fine take Applejack or whatever." Church said impatiently.

"We have spent enough time talking, I would suggest we leave now." Delta said.

"On it." Applejack grunted as she hopped over the bush and began to gallop down the path.

"First team that comes back with Gamma wins." Sarge said as he set off down the path with Simmons and Applejack.

"Whatever gets him back here fastest." Church grunted as he and the others went down the other path.

Grif watched as both groups ran down the paths, looking through the trees to see if they could fin Gamma in them.

"Grif get your ass in gear!" Sarge snapped.

"Damn, and here I was hoping he wouldn't have noticed." Grif sighed as he set a not so quick pace down the path.

The reds soon came to a clear opening where the path ended abruptly. Applejack went to the middle of the clearing and took off her hat to wipe the sweat off of her head.

"He couldn't have gotten this far..." Grif panted as he caught up with the others.

"What makes ya say that?"

"The fact that I don't want to run anymore."

Gamma suddenly burst through the trees and smiled awkwardly at the reds who were now all looking at him.

"Get him!" Sarge yelled.

Gamma jumped into another thick bush, but Simmons, Sarge and Grif jumped inside of it too. Simmons and Grif came out of the bush half of a minute later and looked around.

"Dammit we lost him again." Grif muttered.

"Maybe we wouldn't have if you kept up with us." Sarge grunted as he jumped out of the bush a few seconds later. "Let's go, he couldn't have gone far."

"Ya mean he wasn't in there?" Applejack asked, giving Sarge a serious look.

"No he wasn't." Sarge said quickly. "Now come on, we need to find him."

"Yeah." Applejack muttered as Sarge began to walk away. She leaned in to Grif and kept her gaze on Sarge. "Keep yer eye on him, will ya'?"

"You don't have to tell me twice." Grif said nonchalantly. "So what now?"

"We keep tryin' t' find him." Applejack said with a slow wink.

"What was that?" Simmons asked when he saw something dart in front of him.

"I didn't see anything." Grif said quietly.

"That's because you weren't looking." Simmons grunted angrily. "But something went behind that tree."

"Alright, then I vote we don't go behind that tree."

"Shut up Grif. You go around the left side of the tree, and I'll go around the right side."

Grif shrugged and slowly made his way to the left side of the trunk while Simmons pressed his back against the right side.

"One. Two." Simmons said slowly. "Three!"

Simmons and Grif circled around the tree and headbutted each other.

"Dammit, I told you it was nothing!" Grif yelled as he rubbed his head.

"Quit yer belly achin'." Applejack said slowly as she helped Grif up. "We need t' find him soon or who knows what'll happen t' Ponyville."

"Good point." Simmons sighed. "We know he's nearby, so maybe we can split up."

"I don't know 'bout that." Applejack muttered as Sarge began walking towards them.

"Come on, it will probably be faster. Besides from what I know Gary isn't really a fighter so he shouldn't be much trouble for one of us to handle."

"Ah guess you're right."

"Okay, I'll take Sarge and-"

"Actually Simmons, ah think ah should take Sarge."

"Why?" Simmons asked, but saw the unsure look Applejack was giving Sarge. "Oh. Ohh, yeah, okay. Hey Sarge, me and Applejack decided that we should split up even further to find him. I am going to go with Grif and you are going to go with Applejack."

"Simmons, don't talk like an idiot." Sarge murmured. "Leave that to Grif."

"Okay well, we'll just be going now. To find Gamma, that is."

Sarge watched as Simmons and Grif quickly walked away, looking back at Sarge every other second.

"What's wrong with them?" Sarge asked.

"Why don't ya tell me?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Nothin'." Applejack sighed.

"Let's hurry up and find this guy so we can rub it in the blues face that we caught one." Sarge said as he began to walk the opposite direction that Simmons and Grif were walking.

"Hey Sarge, can we talk fer a minute?" Applejack asked quietly after her and Sarge had been walking for several minutes.

"Sorry AJ, now's not the time."

"C'mon it won't take that long." Applejack

"Fine, just make it quick." Sarge grunted.

"Well ah was just wonderin'..." Applejack said with a small laugh as she rubbed the back of her neck. "D'ya wanna hear a knock knock joke?"

The Honest Liar

"Uh, who's there?" Sarge grunted.

"Gary."

"God dammit..."

Gary pushed Sarge to the ground and began sprinting off.

"Son of a bitch had to make it personal." Sarge muttered as he quickly hopped to his feet and gave chase. "Simmons! Grif! It's AJ! AJ is Gamma!"

"Gary!" Gary called back.

"Whatever." Sarge muttered. “Where the hell are you two?”

Simmons and Grif ran up from behind Sarge until they were by his side.

“How the hell did we end up behind you?” Simmons asked.

“I hate this forest. All the trees look the same.”

“That’s racist.”

“Hey, it’s not racist if I say it because I’m part tree.”

“Please, you have to be a full tree to call yourself a tree.”

“Both of you shut up!” Sarge yelled.

Gary turned his head to see Sarge just a few feet behind him. Gary picked up the pace, and Sarge started to run faster. Gary then tripped on a root and fell to the ground before scrambling to get up.

"Get out here so I can kick your ass." Sarge said as he tackled Gary to the ground.

Sarge and Gary rolled on the ground for a few minutes, Sarge being sure not to hit Applejack's body focused on just pinning him down. Grif and Simmons ran to them until Applejack was on top of Sarge. Sarge and Applejack looked at the others and then back at each other. Sarge threw Applejack to the side and rolled to his feet.

"Gamma went inside Sarge!" Applejack panted.

"No he didn't, he is still in you!"

"If Donut were here he would say some kind of vague innuendo..." Grif said.

"Shut it." Sarge and Applejack snapped in unison.

"Come on Grif, we have to find out which one is possessed or whatever." Simmons said quickly.

"It's Applejack!"

"No it's not, it's Sarge!" Applejack yelled back.

"How do we know which one is the real Sarge?" Grif asked as he looked between Sarge and Applejack.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Simmons asked angrily. "That has nothing to do with the situation!"

"Don't blame him, he still has the mind of a shisno so he can't understand what's goin' on." Applejack smirked, but it quickly faltered and she adopted a look of worry. "Did ah just say shisno?"

"That was easier than I thought it would be." Grif said.

"What are ya gunna- okay this accent is begginin' t' git on mah nerves." Gary said annoyingly.

"Kick his ass!" Simmons yelled.

"If you hurt him you'll hurt AJ." Sarge said, stepping in front of Simmons.

"And?" Grif asked.

"Reds don't hit girls."

"Well if we don't then he's going to run." Grif said as he turned to see that where Applejack used to be laying was now gone. "Simmons, why didn't you watch her?"

"Nobody told me to!"

"Dammit, now we have to find him again." Sarge said, beginning to run down a small path with Simmons.

"Why does he have to keep running?" Grif groaned.

Grif quickly caught up with Simmons and Sarge, who were gaining on Gary.

"Hey, why's he going back to the ruins?" Sarge asked.

"I don't know." Simmons said, looking into the trees. "Hang on, I'll stay here. If he runs back this way I'll grab him."

Gary crossed the bridge and kicked the two posts down, causing the bridge to fall down into the chasm. Gary looked back up and gave a satisfactory smile.

"God dammit, now how are we going to get him?" Sarge grunted as he looked at where the bridge used to be.

"Got it." Grif said as he jumped over the chasm and opened his wings.

"Do you even know how to fly?" Simmons yelled when Grif reached the halfway point in the chasm.

"Fuck you and your logic." Grif said before falling down.

"Ha. Stupid shisno." Gary snorted. He walked up to the edge of the chasm and looked down.

Grif shakily flew upwards and grabbed Gary. Grif continued to flap his wings one at a time, causing him to shake violently over the chasm.

"How long have we been here and you still haven't learned how to fly?" Sarge asked

"Screw you, I'm trying!" Grif wheezed as he threw Gary in front of Sarge and laid on the ground. "God damn she's heavy."

"So are you."

"Hey, I've been eating healthy ever since we got here!"

"That's because there are no cookies here." Sarge grunted.

"Oreos aren't just fucking cookies." Grif muttered.

Applejack slowly started to get up, but Grif quickly tackled her back to the ground.

"G-Gary left me! He's in someone else!" Applejack said.

"Yeah right." Grif muttered.

"Get off her." Sarge said, hitting Grif in the side causing him to tumble to the ground.

"Thanks Sarge." Applejack mumbled as Sarge helped her up. "Where's Simmons?"

"I'm over here." Simmons said quietly as he came out from behind a tree.

"Simmons, are you Gary?" Grif asked.

"What? No." Simmons said slowly. "Are you?"

The four looked at each other and groaned.

"That's just great." Grif sighed.

"Now how the hell are we going to find out who's who?"

"I don't know, what if we try to get him to say shisno again?" Sarge asked.

"What does shisno even mean?" Grif asked and fell silent. After a few seconds he groaned. "Damn, I guess two in one day isn't going to happen, huh?"

"Of course not, fool me once shame on ya, fool me twice..." Applejack sighed. "Ah guess shame on me then."

"For deceit, you're pretty easy to trick." Simmons said.

Sarge quickly tackled Applejack to the ground and pinned her down.

"This time you're not going to run." Sarge warned. "If you want to run and escape from us, at least do that with Grif's body."

"Yer n-not gunna hurt me, are ya Sarge?" Applejack whimpered.

"No." Sarge sighed.

"Good." Gary smirked, swiftly kicking Sarge in the ankle where Carolina had stabbed him.

"Son of a bitch." Sarge grunted.

Gary swiftly got up and began to run away again.

"Wow, now Sarge is the one that fucked everything up."

Sarge turned around and punched Grif in the nose.

"Fuck." Grif muttered as he rubbed his muzzle. "Simmons why don't you just use your magic?"

"Oh shit, I totally forgot about that!"

Gary suddenly stopped running and began to float in the air, unable to move.

"What the-" Gary said. "Stop it. Let me go!"

"Can you move him around when you're holding him like that?" Sarge asked.

"Hang on, let me check." Simmons said.

Gary suddenly shot to the left and then to the right.

"Yeah."

"Stop that, yer makin' me dizzy." Gary grunted.

"Good, then let's find the blues. I can't wait to see the looks on their faces when they see we caught one."

The Rat's Maze

"We've been looking for a while, can't we take a break?" Tucker asked as he leaned against a tree.

"No we can't." Church muttered as he looked through the trees to his right. "At least not until we've caught them all."

"This isn't fucking Pokemon, okay? It would be perfectly fine if one or two of them was on their own."

"No, it wouldn't be." Church groaned.

"What is that?" Caboose asked as he pointed towards something further down the trail.

Church stopped moving and began to focus on it. There was a large leaf that had small tears in it.

"What is the leaf doing there? Is it lost?"

"Only a day alive and he's already getting on my nerves..." Church muttered. "I don't know Caboose, it looks like a leaf fell off of one of the trees and an animal or a bug ate some of it."

"It's a note." Tucker said quietly.

"What?"

"Yeah it says something on it, but I can't read it because it's upside down."

"It's just a leaf." Church stressed as he walked towards it.

"I do not recommend-"

"Delta we need to hurry. You know I respect you, but honestly we just don't have the time."

"Very well."

Church slowly walked up to the leaf and flipped it over to read it.

"What does it say?" Caboose asked.

"Beware as you tread towards the tip of the spear, for when you reach it you will find your end is near." Church said quietly. "Zecora must have left this note for someone, but what does it-"

Tucker flew to Church and tackled him to the ground and he heard what sounded like an axe hitting a tree.

"Tucker what the hell did you do that for?"

"I don't know, I just felt that you didn't want to be a Churchkebab." Tucker said as he got off Church.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Tucker pointed to the tree next to him, where a large pointed branch was now piercing through it.

"Holy shit. Thanks, I guess" Church muttered. "So when did Zecora start hunting ponies?"

"Dude, from what I've seen the ponies here don't eat meat." Tucker noted. "And if she wanted to kill any of us she could have done it when she had Grif that one time."

"So what then, is Gary trying to kill us now?"

"I do not believe this to be Gamma's work." Delta said as he examined the speared tree.

"Great. Now we have something else in here trying to kill us besides the fragments." Church muttered as he kicked a rock.

The rock fell on a pile of leaves and sunk into the ground. Church walked up to the pile of leaves and touched one of them. The leaves then gave way and fell down into a large hole, at the bottom of which had dozens of spears poking out of the ground and the sides.

"Jesus Christ!" Church yelled. "There must be dozens of traps here."

"I would advise you not to yell, do not forget we are not alone in this forest. It is home to many dangerous creatures."

"Delta stop trying to do this the logical way!" Church screamed. "When you're dealing with crazy people you have to be as illogical as possible, otherwise you're as good as dead!"

A soft growl was heard to the right and the four turned to see a pair of yellow glowing eyes in the dark of the forest.

"Great, a fucking timberwolf."

Several more pairs of eyes began to glow. Soon there was well over two dozen pairs of feasting eyes, staring at the group.

"I believe there to be more than one of them." Delta said quietly.

"No shit." Tucker muttered.

"I think all they need is a hug." Caboose said, happily trotting towards them.

"Caboose, stop!" Church yelled.

One of the timberwolves snarled and started to run towards Tucker.

"Run!" Church yelled as he sprinted down the path.

"I like that idea." Tucker said quickly as he flew down the path, grabbing Caboose and Delta by the scruffs of their necks.

"Hurry it up back there!" Church yelled as he jumped over a pile of leaves, sure there was another spike pit under it.

"They are gaining on us." Delta said as he watched the timberwolves race towards them.

"Yeah well, it's not my fault I have to carry you two." Tucker grunted. "Man Caboose, what have you been eating lately?"

"Cupcakes." Caboose said quickly. "And cookies. And some cakes."

"I recommend evasive maneuvers." Delta said as one of the timberwolves surged past the others and jumped towards them.

Tucker kicked it in the face, causing it to drop onto another pile of leaves. This time a net made of vines shot upwards and trapped the timberwolf above ground. The wolf snarled and began to bite the vines. Tucker placed Delta and Caboose on the ground and began to run after Church.

"Why did you drop us?" Caboose asked.

"Because you're heavy and Delta is annoying me, now run!" Tucker snapped as he jumped over a log.

Tucker suddenly ran into Church, who had now stopped for some reason.

"What the hell did you stop for?"

"There's three paths here. We should split up. Tucker, you go down the left one. Delta, you take Caboose and go down the middle one. I'll take the path on the right." Church said as he ran down the path.

'That-"

"I know it isn't wise, just do it!"

Delta nodded and began to run down the middle path with Caboose. Tucker watched as the others ran before looking back to see the wolves had freed the other one.

"Son of a bitch." Tucker muttered as he ran down the left path.

Church continued to run, never stopping to look back, jumping over everything that wasn't dirt with the belief that everything was now a trigger for a deadly trap. After half an hour he came to a slow stop and sat on the path, taking deep breaths as he looked behind him. There were no timberwolves, which was a good sign. He then cracked his neck and laid on the ground to recuperate.

"Hopefully the others are doing better than I am." Church panted. "If only Delta would stop thinking logically he could find out who's setting up these traps."

"Green never was a creative color." A voice said from Church's left.

Church looked to a nearby tree to see an orange pony laying on a branch with a tight smile on it's muzzle.

"Hello Epsilon."

"Sigma!" Church snarled. "So you were the one who set all this up."

"I think the answer to that is fairly obvious."

"Why are you trying to kill us?"

"Kill?" Sigma scoffed. "My traps are not intended to kill, merely maim. As of now you are all rats running my carefully put together maze. The only difference is there are almost no ways out and no cheese at the end. But if any of the others get out of my maze there can be just as much of a celebration without cheese, true?"

"You're crazy. First you want to put the Alpha back together, and now this?"

"Crazy?" Sigma asked himself. "I prefer to think of myself as creative."

"Where are the others?"

"Running the maze like good little rats. I just felt that since you gave me life the least I could do was chat with you before you're lost in here forever."

"How did you set this up in such little time?" Church asked curiously.

"While the other fragments were fighting amongst themselves I happened to catch a glimpse of you. Odd that I did not recall who I was until I saw the key, but once I did I quickly escaped." Sigma said quietly. "Once I was out I quickly began setting up traps to keep anybody from capturing me."

"Yeah, well I got you now."

"Oh, well done on that." Sigma said sarcastically as he clapped his hooves. He then stared at his hooves and chuckled again. "I would have been able to set up even more traps had it not been for these things, but I digress."

"Come down from there and I won't hurt you."

"I think I am quite comfortable up here, thank you." Sigma said with a gleam in his eye. "I can, however, offer one piece of advice to you, should you wish."

"What is it?" Church asked hesitantly.

"You may want to move out of that spot."

"What?" Church looked behind him, where a large log suspended by two vines swung at him.

He quickly rolled out of the way and looked back up at the branch where Sigma was sitting, but he was no longer there.

"Whelp. We're dead." Church groaned.

Strained Alliance

"Can we take a water break? My hooves are positively killing me." Rarity complained.

"No, we have to find Allison." Twilight said as she continued to press forward. "If she finds an innocent something tells me she won't show them any mercy."

"Why does Church feel the need to love her when she seems to want nothing to do to him?"

"Because Church was based off of someone called the Director, or at least the Alpha was, and Allison was based off of someone who the Director loved." Twilight sighed sadly. "As much as he hates to admit it he has no choice but to love her."

"Poor Church." Fluttershy said quietly. "I can't imagine what that must feel like."

"Yeah." Twilight nodded before shaking her head clear and picking up her pace. "Now come one, we need to hurry."

"God dammit." A voice shouted from nearby. "Who the hell is doing this? Show yourself!"

"Great, she's nearby." Twilight said as she ran to the left, off of the trail. "This way!"

"I don't think great is the word I would have used." Rainbow Dash grunted.

The girls walked for less than a minute before winding up in a clearing.

"Are you sure the voice came from here?" Rarity asked.

Twilight nodded as she pointed to a hole in the middle of the clearing. She quickly ran up to it and looked down to see Tex trying to climb out, but with no success. Twilight looked around and saw a vine hanging from a tree. She used her magic to tie one end of the vine to the tree before throwing the other end down into the hole.

"I don't need your help." Tex yelled as she began climbing to the top again just to fail as she reached the edge. "Fuck!"

"I don't see why we can't just leave her down there..." Rainbow Dash said innocently.

"You can try to climb all night, or you can make it easier on yourself an climb up the vine."

Tex opened her mouth to yell, but instead sighed angrily before grabbing onto the vine and climbing out. As she neared the top, Rainbow Dash grabbed onto her right foreleg and Twilight grabbed onto her left one to help her up. When she got to the top she dusted herself off and began to walk away.

"A thank you would have been nice." Rarity commented icily, causing Tex to stop and turn to her.

"I know what you're all up to. Trying to build up my trust just so you can stab me in the back later."

"That's not what we're doing." Twilight promised as she walked up to Tex.

"Sure it isn't." Tex said, turning to walk away.

"Allison-"

Tex spun around and grabbed Twilight by her throat and lifted her up off her hooves.

"Let her go!' Rainbow Dash said as she hit Tex in the ribs to free Twilight, but to no avail.

"What the fuck did I tell you about calling me that?" Tex asked as she tightened her grip. "I could crush you right now without so much of a second thought."

Twilight's face began to go red as she lost the air in her lungs and began to tap on Tex's foreleg. Tex sneered and dropped Twilight to the ground, causing her to sputter and cough in the dust.

"You're not even worth my time." Tex laughed as she snapped a branch off of a tree to allow her to pass.

"That was uncalled for missy!" Pinkie stated flatly as she hopped towards Tex. "Twilight was only trying to help you, you didn't have to go all Mrs. McCrabby on her like that!"

"You want some of that too?" Tex asked threateningly. After no answer was given she laughed. "Yeah. That's what I thought."

Tex stepped on a vine and a snapping sound was heard.

"What was that?" Rarity asked nervously.

Twilight looked up in the trees where dozens of spikes shot towards Tex. Twilight grabbed Tex with her magic and threw her out of the way of the spike. Tex rolled on the ground before looking at the spikes which now littered the ground, and then to Twilight. She sneered and picked herself up and began walking away.

"You would think she would have been more appreciative of that." Rarity said quietly.

"Yeah, what's her deal?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"My deal is that I don't need any of you prissy little horses to help me." Tex snapped.

"If Twilight hadn't stepped in you wouldn't be here to be angry at us right now." Rainbow Dash retorted, taking a step towards Tex.

"If you fucking ponies hadn't distracted me, I wouldn't have triggered that trap in the first place."

"If you hadn't run off, we wouldn't have to have come after you!"

"Listen, why don't you take your little wings and shove them up your a-"

"Did anypony hear that?" Twilight said in a hushed tone.

"Hear what?" Tex asked annoyingly.

A red pony burst out of the trees and tackled Rainbow Dash to the ground. Rainbow Dash quickly threw him off of her and glared at it.

"O'Malley." Tex said, taking a step towards it.

O'Malley snarled and ran towards Tex and jumped at her. Tex quickly dove on her back dove onto her back, allowing O'Malley to pass over her. She then kicked upwards, striking O'Malley in his chest. O'Malley grunted as he flew into a tree, almost snapping it in half. Tex slowly started to walk towards O'Malley, who was struggling to take himself off the ground. As she bent over to grab him a net shout down from the tree onto the two fragments.

"It appears somepony has triggered my trap." A voice said, seemingly generating from nothingness.

"Who said that?" Tex yelled. "Is that you Sigma?"

"Oh, Allison. How simple it was for you to fall for that." Sigma chuckled, his voice still not coming from any discernible direction. "It's not like you couldn't help it since you are based on failure after all."

"I am not a failure." Tex said as she ripped the vine net in half and climbing out. "See? Your trap hasn't done anything to stop me."

"Oh, but it is not the traps that you have to worry about. It's the domino effect."

"What did he mean by domino effect?" Rarity asked.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!" Tucker yelled as he jumped over a tree stump, landing next to the Tex. "Holy shit, I never thought I'd be glad to see you."

"What the hell are you doing here?" Tex asked.

"Yeah, I thought you were running after Gary." Rainbow Dash said.

"We were, but then some guy was going all fucking predator on us and then I had to run." Tucker said as he panted for air.

"From what?"

"Them." Tucker said, pointing over the log where the girls could visibly see multiple timberwolves charging towards them.

"There's too many, I don't think we can fight them all." Twilight said. "I think we should run."

"Running doesn't solve anything." Tex said as she jumped on top of the stump. "You girls have spent too much time around these idiots. Let me show you how a Freelancer deals with things."

One of the larger timberwolves ran ahead of the pack once he caught sight of the isolated meal and lunged at her, mouth open and ready to bite. Tex leaned to the side and grabbed the upper portion of it's muzzle with one hoof, and the lower with the other. She quickly ripped them in separate directions, breaking the timberwolves jaw which killed it instantly. Another one of the timberwolves jumped at her, but she simply jumped in the air and stomped on it's back, dazing it.

"She certainly is violent." Rarity remarked quietly.

"You think that's bad, try living with her for years." Tucker laughed. "It's almost like she's permanently on PMS."

Tex grabbed the dazed timberwolf and threw it at Tucker, causing him to fall to the ground.

"Come on baby, you know I didn't mean it." Tucker said as he threw the timberwolf off of him.

"Baby?" Rainbow Dash asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Don't worry, she doesn't have anything on you." Tucker said suavely.

"Romancing horses now, are you Tucker?" Tex asked as the remaining timberwolves slowed their pace and began to spread out.

"Hey, she's not just a horse." Tucker said slowly.

"Silly me, of course she's not. Besides, as long as you're a horse it's not wrong, is it?"

"Well I was hung like one to begin with, so it's not like much has changed. Bow chika bow wow."

"You're a pig."

"And you're a complete bitch."

"Touché." Tex said with a rough laugh before turning back to the timberwolves and cracking her neck. "Now if you don't mind..."

"Be my guest."

"Thank you." Tex said sarcastically before jumping towards the timberwolves.

Duds

"Why the hell are these wolves made of wood?" Tex asked as the wolves began circling her. Twilight opened her mouth to explain but Tex laughed. "I was just thinking out loud egghead."

One of the nearby wolves snapped at her, testing to see if she would flinch. Tex just raised a non threatened eyebrow at it to show that she wasn't afraid in the slightest. The wolves looked at each other knowing that this wasn't going to be an easy meal before tightening the circle that they had around her.

"What are you waiting for?" Tex asked as she tackled one of the larger wolves to the ground. "Let's dance, cockbite."

"Although she has much to be desired in the personality department, she does seem rather brave." Rarity noted as Tex punched the wolf in the throat. "Though I must say she might have bit off a bit more than she can chew."

"If you try to help her she'll fight you." Tucker said, keeping a close eye on the timberwolf that was still slumped over. "Don't worry, it's not you. She just likes to pretend that she's in control one hundred percent of the time."

"Does she have a mental problem?" Fluttershy asked concernedly.

"No comment."

"Mind keeping it down? I'm trying to concentrate." Tex said as she ripped off a small strip of the timberwolf's bark.

The timberwolf whimpered and snapped at her leg. She quickly pulled it away before bringing it back to punch it in the face. Another timberwolf jumped at her, but Twilight grabbed it with her magic and threw it into a tree. Tex watched as the wolf gathered it's bearings to run away before breaking the neck of the timberwolf she was pinning down. The remaining timberwolves then turned tail and fled with the understanding that they would die. Tex got off the ground and patted the dust and pieces of wood off of her body.

"Did you have to hurt them that much?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh, I think those were relatively painless deaths. Many of the people I've killed would have considered themselves lucky in their shoes."

"Do you hurt others as a hobby or something?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously.

"No I did it for my career, any more questions?"

"I have one. How is it that you can hurt others so much without feeling anything?"

"What are you talking about? Whenever I hurt things I feel pleasure."

"So when you touch Grif you feel pleasure?" Tucker asked with a laugh. "I didn't know you felt that way about him."

"Shut up."

"That's it Tex, let it all out." Tucker said playfully as he placed his hoof on her shoulder.

"Since I can't hurt Grif as much as I'd like to I guess I'll have to settle." Tex sighed as she kicked Tucker in the balls.

"Y'know, that didn't hurt as much as it should. Guess I have you to thank for that, right Dash?" Tucker laughed weakly.

"Great, there goes two of my hobbies." Tex hissed as she kicked the remaining timberwolf unconscious.

"So any luck finding any of the fragments, or were you pretty much just bitching it up with the girls before I came along?"

"Well thanks to Sigma it looks like we got O'Malley." Tex sighed. She looked over at the tree to where O'Malley was and began to rub her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I broke the net..." Tex groaned.

"Wow, you really do represent failure." Pinkie Pie laughed innocently.

Tex glared daggers at Pinkie causing her to shrink back.

"Didn't it occur to you that while I was fighting those things that you should watch O'Malley?" Tex grunted. "Who am I kidding, of course it didn't. It doesn't occur to anybody that anything could happen. Even here I'm surrounded by idiots."

"I feel bad for Church." Rainbow Dash muttered.

"Why's that?"

"Because he has to love a..." Rainbow Dash trailed off.

"Bitch?" Tucker asked.

"Yeah, that."

"Church just has a fetish for women who have really short tempers." Tucker explained, causing Tex to punch him in the jaw. "Fuck!"

"If you don't mind, I have to go find O'Malley." Tex grunted as she brushed past the girls. "If you have to follow me, just stay out of my way."

"Unbelievable." Rarity aid quietly as Tex disappeared into the thicket.

"I know what you mean! It took me a months to get to the point that you're at with her." Tucker said as he went to go catch up with Tex. "It only took you guys a few hours. I guess she's already warming up to you."

Tucker then jumped through the thicket, leaving the girls to themselves.

"Was he being serious?" Fluttershy asked.

"It's hard to tell with Tucker." Rainbow Dash sighed. "So I guess we should follow them, huh?"

"Yes we should." Twilight nodded as she jumped through the underbrush.

The girls quickly caught up with Tex and Tucker, who were looking around the area.

"What are you doing?"

"Looking for more of those traps." Tucker sighed. "He must be really messed up to have set up so much crap."

"He tried to recreate the Alpha, I think that shows how much he has in the sanity department. There." Tex said, pointing to a vine. She looked around once more, making sure there were no traps in the vicinity and started making her way towards it.

"Don't you think we should be avoiding these traps?" Rarity asked.

"You're right, we should leave the traps out here for others to find." Tex said. "Who cares how dangerous they are?"

"You're doing this to help others?"

"Well I'm certainly not doing this to help myself." "I may be a bitch, but I'm not a complete monster."

"Don't worry Tex, it just takes practice." Tucker assured her.

Tex picked up a branch and threw it at the vine, causing the vine to snap. The group stared at the snapped vine for a few seconds before looking at each other.

"Nothing happened?" Fluttershy asked.

"Evidently. Sigma probably set up some duds just to trick us." Tex grunted.

"But why?" Fluttershy asked.

"He probably thinks that if we think everything is a trap he can further the distance between us since we'll be too cautious.

There was a sudden snap followed by a yell originating from nearby that echoed throughout the forest.

"Sounds like O'Malley." Tex said, walking towards the source of the yelling.

"What if Sigma is using O'Malley as bait?" Tucker asked.

"Seems like the sort of thing he would do, but we have to do it."

Another snap was heard, this time from where the vine was.

"Sneaky sun of a bitch made it a delayed trap." Tex said as she got into a defensive position.

The girls looked around but saw no sign of anything dangerous. After ten seconds of waiting Tucker looked around and scratched his head.

"Tucker's thinking?" Tex asked. "Well I'll be damned."

"Is he just messing with us now?" Tucker asked.

"He already was."

"True enough." Tucker said as he began to walk again.

"Don't move." Tex hissed.

"Why not?"

"The ground is about to give way. If you touch anything it'll collapse."

"How do you know that?" Tucker asked, placing his hoof on the ground.

The earth underneath Tucker then cracked open and he fell down screaming.

"Tucker!" Rainbow Dash yelled, diving after Tucker.

The ground underneath the group quickly crumbled and they soon became enveloped in darkness.

Limits

Twilight hit the ground hard and let out a cough as dust around her began to settle. She opened her eyes and began to look around, but could not see anything due to the ground above them having caved in. To her surprise they were not completely buried, but she attributed that to Sigma not actually wanting to kill them.

"Is everypony alright?" Twilight asked.

"Yes." Rarity and Fluttershy said together.

"Me too!" Pinkie coughed. "Whoever lived here needs to hire a maid."

"I think I'm alright, something broke my fall."

"Where the hell is Tucker so I can kick his ass?" Tex asked.

"Ow, who stepped on my tail?" Rarity asked.

"Sorry Rarity, I think that might have been me." Pinkie giggled. "Wow it sure is dark in here! I can't even see my hooves in front of my face. Hey who bumped into me?"

"Sorry Pinkie, I-I didn't mean to." Fluttershy stuttered, beginning to grow fearful of the darkness. "Twilight can you p-please make it lighter in here?"

"Give me a second." Twilight said as she began to concentrate.

"Is something wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

"Something is interfering with my magic. Rarity can you do anything?"

"Give me a moment, I think I chipped my hoof." Rarity moaned quietly.

"Anything?" Twilight asked after a few seconds.

"I cannot use my magic either."

"Hang on, I got this." Spike grunted as he felt around the area. He picked up a root and blew fire onto it, creating a green-flamed torch.

"Good job Spike." Rarity said with a smile.

"I guess I'll have to thank Delta for telling me to take you." Twilight nodded. "Where's Tucker?"

"Getting sat on." Tucker muffled.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to do that." Rainbow Dash said quickly, hopping to her hooves.

"Sure you didn't." Tucker said with a sly wink. "Don't worry, I'm sure that won't be the only time that'll happen to us."

"You can't tell me that he doesn't get on your nerves all the time." Tex grunted.

"Yeah he does, but he's fun to have around." Rainbow Dash said with a rough laugh. "And when he does make me angry I just hit him."

"You know, maybe you aren't that bad." Tex said with a cruel laugh.

"Holy shit, did Tex just compliment someone?" Tucker asked with genuine surprise.

"Hey jackass, why didn't you try flying away when you started to fall?"

"Fuck you, that's why."

"Hey I told you not to move." Tex grunted as she hit Tucker on the back of his head. "Sigma couldn't have dug this up this fast, could he?"

"No, this tunnel seems natural." Twilight said as she inspected the walls. "Even so, we should be careful. Since he made it so we fell in here there are probably even more traps down here."

"I do not think that I like this Sigma pony." Rarity said as she wiped the dust off of her mane. "He ruined my hooficure and made an absolute mess out of my mane."

"So, uh, what do we do now?" Tucker asked.

"Well since we can't fly or use magic I guess we'll just have to walk. Spike do you think you could make us a few more torches?" Twilight asked.

"Sure!" Spike said enthusiastically as he ran around, tearing out loose roots in the ground. "Who wants one?"

"I'll take one." Tex said.

Spike quickly set the tip of the root aflame and gave it to Tex, who gave a small nod to him.

"Ooh ooh, can you make mine pink?" Pinkie asked.

Spike turned to Twilight who was making large hoof gestures for him to tell her off.

"Sorry Pinkie, my fire isn't pink. Guess that means you don't get one."

"Aw." Pinkie pouted, before smiling and hopping next to Tex. "That's okay, I'll just share with Alli- I mean Tex!"

"Nu-uh." Tex said, pulling her hoof away from Pinkie. "That's not going to fly."

"Of course it isn't silly, it doesn't have any wings!"

"You remind me a lot of Caboose..." Tex muttered.

"Really?" Pinkie gasped. "Ohmygoodness, we haven't thrown you a party yet!"

Tex shook her head in disbelief. Could she really be as stupid as him?

"Which way are we going to go?" Tucker asked as he grabbed a torch from Spike. "How about this way?"

Tucker stepped on a large rock and it quickly sank into the ground. Rainbow Dash grabbed Tucker by the tail and pulled him back just as a spike shot out of a hole in the wall right next to where Tucker was standing.

"Watch where you're going, idiot." Tex grunted.

"Okay, seriously, what the fuck? I can't be the only one wondering how the fuck he set all this up?"

"This wasn't set up by Sigma." Twilight said nervously.

"How do you know that?"

"Look at the wooden spike. It's covered in dust and cobwebs. Whoever set this up set it up a while ago." Twilight said as she observed the spike. Something about it caught her eye and she tore it out of the wall to examine it further.

"Stop wasting time, we need to get out of here." Tex said as she began to walk further down that path.

"Wait." Twilight muttered. She turned to Fluttershy and pointed the spike at her, causing her to go on her knees and cover her eyes. "Fluttershy, look."

"What?" Fluttershy peeped as she shakily lifted her hoof to look at it. There was a small shine to the tip and it looked mucus green. She hesitantly took the spike out of Twilight's hoof. "What is it?"

"Think back about a month or so ago."

"A month?"

"With Grif."

"O-okay." Fluttershy said, staring curiously at it. her eyes widened after a few seconds and gasped.

"What is it?" Tucker asked.

"The traps appear to be coated with the secretion that the timberwolves have on their teeth."

"Secretion?" Tex asked.

"It's a bacteria that the timberwolves have on their teeth that give them a poisonous bite that eventually turns you into a tree."

"Why the hell didn't mention this when I went to fight them?" Tex asked angrily.

"You told me not to help you and to stay out of your way, so that's what I did. I thought that's what you wanted Allison." Twilight said, putting an emphasis on her name with a smirk.

"Hey guess what, you don't have your magic down here to help you, so if you want to stay alive I suggest you stop being a bitch. It's not like you would do anything with your weak ass horn anyways considering you're a coward."

"Excuse me?" Twilight snapped. "The only reason I haven't done anything about your attitude is because Church loves you and I don't want to see him get hurt more than he already has. You're the one who is a coward."

"Me, a coward?" Tex scoffed.

"Yes, you're a coward. Church deserves so much better than you."

"I knew that's what this is about." Tex laughed, taking a step towards Twilight. "You're jealous of me."

"What?" Twilight yelled.

"Yeah, I can tell by that tone. You like Church and I bet it just burns you up that he loves me, doesn't it? Well guess what, he doesn't love you and he never will, so why don't you be a good little girl and step down. You're useless here and we need someone to lead us that isn't completely defenseless."

Twilight brought back her hoof and punched Tex in the face. Tex crashed to the ground and glared at Twilight, who was wearing a smirk on her muzzle.

"I may not have my magic, but don't think that makes me defenseless." Twilight said defensively. "And the only feeling I have towards you is not that of jealousy, but that of pity. I pity you Allison."

"Ooh, I like this new you." Tex chuckled as she got to her hooves and cracked her neck. "Now it's my turn."

Ruined Runes

"So Tex, how does it feel to be on the receiving end for once?" Tucker chuckled.

"Don't instigate her Tucker." Twilight said quietly.

"Aw, come on! She's had this coming for a long time."

"Even so, we need to work together to get out of here and that will be hard to do when we're at each others throats. So Alli- I mean Tex, I apologize for doing what I did. You have to understand it was the only way to end the conflict."

"Whatever." Tex grunted as she rubbed her ankle. "So you said Grif had this virus too?"

"Yes, but we didn't get the antidote soon enough, so it got too far into his blood stream and the area it affected has effectively become stronger."

"Maybe if I leave it in my blood for long enough I can hit hard enough to hurt him again." Tex said with a smirk.

"So how old do you think this tunnel system is?" Tucker asked.

"I'm willing to bet a few hundred years or so." Twilight said as she examined the symbol on the rock. "It's strange though, I never heard of any tunnels under the Everfree Forest..."

"There's no way that this place is a few hundred years old." Tucker laughed as he stepped on another rock, causing a spike to shoot upwards into the ceiling. "Okay, if this place is a few hundred years old then how the hell can these traps work?"

"These aren't regular traps, these are runes."

"What the hell are runes?"

"Look at that rock." Twilight said as she rubbed some of the dust off of it. "Do you see the small spiral on it?"

"Yeah. So a rune is a rock with a symbol on it?"

"What? No. Well, sort of." Twilight said thoughtfully. "Runes are magical symbols that are etched onto a surface, be it a rock or anything else. The reason they still work after all this time is because the magic does not escape the rune, it stays inside it."

"You mean like what Celestia put on the Archaic Wing?" Rarity asked.

"In a way. She is much more powerful than a regular unicorn, so when she casts a spell it can last eons. Unicorns can do the same, they just have to use runes."

"Then why aren't runes more prevalent in Equestria?"

"Because they only have a limited amount of uses and they are extremely dangerous to use."

"But if you can't use magic then how do these runes work if they also use magic?" Tucker asked, beginning to grow confused.

"I don't know." Twilight admitted. "There might be some wards in here that disallow non-rune based magic. Either way we have to walk carefully and avoid anything with a symbol on it. When I get back to the library I'll have to look into this place..."

"Are we there yet?" Caboose whined, legs beggining to tire.

"We have no predetermined destination so I cannot answer that question."

"Does that mean yes?"

"It does not seem like the timberwolves have followed us, so if it is a break you want..."

"I heard yes." Caboose yawned as he came to a screeching halt.

"Now there is a matter I wish to discuss with you now that we have no need to run."

"I like matter. Matter is good." Caboose said as he laid on the ground.

"I am glad you think so." Delta said as he looked around. "I wish to discuss physics with you, are you aware of that concept?"

"Are you a mind reader?"

"Not psychics, physics. To make it simple I will just say that in physics, there are certain laws everybody has to abide to-"

"I fully understand what you are saying and you have my complete constipation." Caboose said as he nodded his head.

"Concentration."

"That too."

"Yes, well I have noticed that you, as well as your friend Pinkie-"

"Oh, is Pinkie here?" Caboose asked excitedly as he hopped to his feet to look around.

"No she isn't, now if you-"

"Why would you tell me she is here if she is not here?"

"I never said she was here."

"Then where is she?"

"I don't know where she is."

"Oh." Caboose said quietly. "Who were we talking about again?"

"Pinkamena."

"Who is that?"

"Pinkie."

"Oh, is Pinkie here?"

"No Caboose, she isn't. Now will you please allow me to continue?"

"Okay." Caboose said happily as he sat back down.

"As I was saying, as of late I have noticed that you and Pinkie have been breaking the laws of physics and-"

"It wasn't my fault. Someone put a psychic in my way." Caboose said when the sound of a branch snapping came from behind Delta. "I thought you said Pinkie wasn't here."

"Who's there?" A gruff voice asked from behind a bush.

"Hello Sarge, you are just in time for story time!" Caboose said happily.

"It is good to see you have not been harmed Sarge." Delta said without turning.

"Where are the other blues?" Sarge asked as he jumped over a bush.

"Due to the situation we had to split up so I do not know."

"Situation?"

"Have you encountered any traps yet?"

"No, why?" Sarge asked slowly. "Did you guys build some traps to catch the AIs? You should have told me. Building is my middle name."

"No, it was not us that set up the traps. It is someone else entirely. One of the traps failed to harm Epsilon and he began to grow angry, causing a pack of timberwolves to come to us. We ran away from them and came to a fork in the road, and that's where Epsilon decided we should split up."

"Damn. I really wanted to rub it in their faces that we managed to get one of the AI guys." Sarge said as Simmons and Grif jumped over the bush, followed by Applejack who had a magenta glow around her body as she hovered over the bush.

"You managed to catch Gamma. Well done."

"You know, it's weird actually. Isn't he supposed to be the ability to lie?"

"Not lie, deceive. While they may be synonymous to some they actually have a very distinct differ-"

"Yeah, that. I would have thought he would be harder to catch since he would be able to trick us."

"Since Applejack's and Gamma's personalities differ so greatly it appears they cancel each other out to some degree."

"It always pained me t' see ya work with these dirty shisnos." Gary noted as he floated around.

"Hey, we're not shisnos anymore, we're horses." Simmons said as he kept focus on the spell.

"Once a shisno, always a shisno." Gary chuckled.

"I am having quite a bit of difficulty trying to understand is why you let them catch you." Delta noted.

Gary's smile faltered and he avoided Delta's eye contact.

"Could it be you wanted them to catch you?" Delta asked.

"Of course not! Do ya know how hard it is t' wash the smell of shisno off?"

"So do we get a prize for grabbing an AI before the blues?" Sarge asked. "I've always been fond of medals."

"Not at this time." Delta said slowly.

"Damn."

"That was long enough of a break Caboose. Now we need to find Church and the other fragments."

"But I didn't get to take a break yet." Grif muttered.

"We're the red team. We don't take breaks." Sarge said with a cruel laugh as he punched Grif in the shoulder.

"Man, being a red sucks sometimes." Grif sighed.

Passing Time

"Can we take another break?" Grif asked with a yawn. 'We've been walking for ten hours now."

"We've only been walking for about ten minutes." Simmons coughed.

"Thanks Big Ben.' Grif chuckled before turning back to Delta. "Do you even know where we are going?"

"For now we will keep walking the path, listening for any signs of the other fragments." Delta said quietly.

"I don't mean to pull the Grif card, but I'm getting pretty tired of holding Gary..." Simmons muttered, beginning to grow tired of the spell.

"I could tell you a knock knock joke to pass the time." Gary said with a smile.

"No."

"Knock knock."

Simmons rolled his eyes and kept walking, making sure to stay focused on the spell.

"Knock knock." Gary repeated.

"Who's there?" Simmons sighed, knowing that Gary would keep repeating it until he answered.

"You are."

"You are who?"

"You are a dirty, dirty shisno." Gary said as he burst out with laughter.

"Very funny."

"Ah thought it was." Gary chuckled. "Wanna hear another?"

"I really would-"

"Glad to hear it." Gary interrupted quickly. "Knock knock."

"Who's there?" Simmons asked reluctantly.

"Gary."

"Gary who?"

"Gary isn't a dirty shisno like you."

"Oh, would you be quiet?" Simmons asked, growing more annoyed by the second. "Applejack is heavy."

"Don't disrespect AJ like that." Sarge said firmly.

"Sorry sir, I mean Gary is heavy."

"Why would ya say somethin' like that?" Gary asked sadly. "You'll hurt mah feelin's."

"Very well." Delta said, horn glowing faintly as he grabbed Gary from Simmons. "Now for the matter of finding Epsilon as well as the others."

A loud yell came from nearby, causing Grif and Caboose to jump in shock.

"What the hell was that?" Grif yelped.

"Was it the tooth fairy?" Caboose asked.

"I do not believe so." Delta said as he turned in the direction where the sound came from. "It sounded more like Omega."

"I guess that means we'll have to go in that direction, huh?" Grif sighed as Delta began walking to O'Malley. "Son of a bitch."

"Well you could always look at th' bright side." Gary said encouragingly as he floated behind Delta.

"Oh yeah, and what's the bright side?"

"There is no bright side."

"I could have told you that." Grif grunted.

"Stop whining Grif. You should be happy you're still alive at this point." Sarge laughed as he began to walk after Delta.

"I'm alive too!" Caboose said happily as he hopped after Delta.

Grif and Simmons shared a limp shrug before setting off after the others. After five minutes of walking Delta stopped moving and made a gesture to the others telling them to do the same.

"What's wrong green?" Sarge asked.

"It appears he was closer than I had thought." Delta said.

A small yell was heard, startling Grif and Caboose once again. Grif looked around a tree to see O'Malley strung up by his waist, hanging several feet off the ground.

"That's not a good sign." Grif coughed.

"No, it isn't." Delta said as he walked into the clearing to get a better look of O'Malley. "It seems that O'Malley triggered one of the traps."

"Really?" Grif asked, feigning surprise. "I would have never guessed."

"So what's the plan?" Sarge asked. "Are we going to leave him up there or are we going to bring him down?"

"I vote that we leave him up there." Grif said.

O'Malley looked down and began to focus on Grif, reaching down to grab him.

"Definitely. We definitely need to leave him up there."

"Ah, but where is the fun in that?" A voice chuckled, seemingly coming from every direction.

"Who said that?" Simmons asked.

"Ah don't suppose yer gunna help me get outta these shisno's hands, are ya Sigma?" Gary asked.

"How peculiar." Sigma said as he came out from behind a tree.

"So it was you that set up the traps in the forest. I had thought it was you but had ruled it out on account of you never seeing Church when I was with him. You must have seen him before I transported them away."

"Indeed." Sigma nodded as he began to walk in a circle around the reds. "I was hoping all of you would come here at once."

"Why?" Simmons asked.

"It would have been more interesting that way. No matter, I will see you all at a later time. For now I must check on Epsilon and make sure he has followed my path like you have."

"What path?" Grif asked.

"You don't think you came to this location of your own free will, did you?"

"What does he mean by that?"

"That I am not at liberty to answer, so I will bid you farewell." Sigma said as he took a bow.

"Grab him!" Sarge snapped as he lunged towards Sigma.

Sigma smiled and stepped on a vine, causing a net to fall onto Sarge as well as causing separate, larger net to fall on the others.

"I wish your actions weren't so obvious to predict." Sigma said quietly as he disappeared behind a tree.

"Well that guy was an asshole." Grif muttered as he attempted to find his way out of the net. After a few seconds he gave up and laid on his back. "Well, I guess since we're trapped under this net we'll just have to wait for the others."

"No breaks." Sarge grunted as he escaped his net. He quickly went to the others and pulled the net off of them. "Now what?"

"We consider our options." Delta said quietly, as he grabbed Gary with his magic again.

"Do any of those options let us stay here?" Grif asked as he wiped the grass and dirt off of his legs.

"Yes."

"Then I vote for that one."

"What are all the options?" Simmons asked.

"The first option is we stay here-"

"That one." Grif said quietly.

"-and we wait for the others to get here. Sigma has told us that he intended for us all to come here, so it is only natural to assume he will try to bring the others here as well. The second option is we try to find either Epsilon or the others before Sigma gets to them. The third option is we try to find Sigma and capture him before he leads the others here. The problem with that option is we won't know where the others are and it could take us hours, or even days, to find them."

"And we don't know where Sigma went either." Simmons said.

"All the more reason to stay here. We can just kick back since we know Sigma is going to bring the others here anyways." Grif said as he laid down on the grass.

"I can tell some knock knock-"

"Shut up Gary." Simmons sighed.

Unbound

"Anybody around here that preferably isn't a fucking psychopath?" Church yelled after an hour of walking by himself. Church fell silent as he awaited a response, but received none. "I guess I should be happy that nobody answered."

"Well I wouldn't say nobody." Sigma chuckled.

"What the hell is your problem?" Church asked, not bothering to look for Sigma.

"Come now Epsilon, we both know it is you who has the problems."

Church shook his head and began to walk faster.

"Running from the truth, Epsilon?"

"No. I'm walking away from a maniac." Church hissed.

"You cannot run from your past." Sigma said, suddenly appearing beside Church.

"Why don't you go be crazy somewhere else?"

"Because nobody else appreciates me like you do."

"Appreciate you?" Church asked, forcing a sarcastic laugh.

"But of course." Sigma nodded sincerely. "Tell you what, I'll go easy on you. Ask me some questions and I will answer."

"Where are the others?"

"Exactly where I want them to be."

"Meaning?" Church asked quietly.

"Delta and your friend have found the reds, and last I checked they captured Gary and found Omega."

"They got two of them?" Church asked with surprise.

"Not exactly. I more or less handed Omega over to them."

"Why?"

"Omega still hasn't regained his memory like the others so he is of no use to me at this time."

"So that means-"

"I'm the last one." Sigma said with a smile. "Besides Theta. I wonder what he is up to? I should probably check on him, make sure he hasn't done anything to ruin my plans..."

"What about the others?"

"Others?" Sigma asked, pretending to not have understood his question.

"Tex and Twilight." Church said angrily.

"Oh them. They are now wandering aimlessly through a series of tunnels right under our hooves."

"There's tunnels under here?" Church asked confusedly.

"Yes, and quite remarkably built too. They are littered with so many traps that I didn't have to bother setting up any of my own. The only difference between my traps and the ones below is that those ones are aimed to slowly kill whoever triggers them."

"Seriously. What. The fuck. Is your problem?"

"Oh, I don't think I have a problem. I think you have a problem."

"Everybody has problems."

"Ah, but your problem is that of being a catalyst." Sigma coughed.

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's just that I've noticed a lot of the problems that happen around you seem to be your fault."

"What the fuck are you talking about? How is everything my fault?"

"I never said everything, merely most things."

"Like?"

"How about when Caboose died?"

"That wasn't my fault. And besides, I fixed that."

"Oh, and a job well done on that. You revived the other fragments in the process and they are all suffering."

"Good, O'Malley and Gary have had it long coming."

"Oh, I was not referring to them." Sigma said, shaking his head. "Delta is losing his grip on reality. This place is already beginning to wear down on him. Caboose and his pink pony friend seem to bend the laws of the world at will, granted the bends are small, but to Delta they seem illogical."

"He'll get over it."

"Once he finds a reasonable explanation, yes. But for the time being he is not using all his brain power to find the fragments since he believes that they can easily be found. Instead he chooses to waste his time trying to think of how Caboose and the other one are able to do such feats." Sigma said with a smile. "Oh, and Allison is suffering quite a bit too."

"What did you do to Tex?" Church snarled.

"Me? Nothing. I wouldn't dream of harming a piece of us."

"Then how is she suffering?"

"Wouldn't you rather hear that from Twilight?" Sigma asked hollowly.

Church said nothing, but instead narrowed his eyes.

"You are aware of what happened to the yellow one in the past?"

"You mean Grif? What about him?"

"You recall his infection?"

"The one the timberwolves gave him?" Church asked, which Sigma replied to with a nod. "What about it?"

"Let us just say that Twilight knowingly poisoned Tex with that virus."

"You're lying." Church said, turning to walk away.

"No, I'm afraid that is Gamma's department."

"I know Twilight, she's not the violent type. She wouldn't do anything unless push came to shove."

"But knowing Allison it very well did get to that."

"Why would it come to that though?"

"We both know how defensive Allison gets. And you know why she is defensive..."

"Because she knows that Twilight's my friend." Church sighed. "It's like Sister all over again..."

"I have a feeling it might be a little different than that." Sigma smiled.

"What do you mean? Look, it doesn't matter. Even if Twilight did mean to infect Tex, she probably did so out of self preservation. I wouldn't be surprised if the first thing they do when they get out of the tunnels is go to Zecora's place."

"But that's the beauty of it. It could take them days, or even weeks from getting out of the tunnels. By that point it will be too late for Tex. Now if you'll excuse me I have some business to attend to. If you go the opposite direction as me you will find the reds. Or you can attempt to follow me as I go find Theta." Sigma said before disappearing behind a tree.

"Fuck." Church muttered as he kicked a rock.

"And then there was this one time where Pinkie gave me a cupcake!" Caboose said as he laid on his back playfully.

"Ya don't say." Gary muttered as he attempted to squirm out of the vines that the reds had tied him up with.

"I just did, didn't you hear me?"

"Yes ah did, no need t' go an' repeat your story." Gary said quickly.

"What was your favorite part of my story?" Caboose asked.

"The part where it ended."

"I know! I thought the cupcake was the best part too!"

"Ah've learned my lesson!" Gary yelled. "Ya'll can come back an' take him back!"

Gary heard the sound of leaves shuffling and looked to the right to see Church walking towards them.

"Ah never thought ah'd see the day where ah was happy t' see ya." Gary said with a chuckle.

"Shut up Gary." Church grunted, turning his attention to Caboose. "What are you doing?"

"Sarge told me to look after Gary because Sarge thought he looked sad!"

Church looked over to Gary who looked at him with a pair of begging eyes, asking him to make Caboose stop.

"Where are they now?"

"They said that they were going to talk over there." Caboose said, pointing to a tree.

"Thanks." Church nodded, making his way over to Delta. "Stay here an keep Gary company until I come back."

"Okay!" Caboose said happily.

"Fer the love of-" Gary whined. "Ah'm sorry about the whole shisno thing!"

Church ignored Gary's pleads as he walked to the tree to see Delta and the Reds talking.

"Heard you got in a bit of trouble blue." Sarge chuckled as he saw Church come around the tree.

"You don't know the half of it." Church shook his head. "Look, we need to find the girls. Apparently Twilight infected Tex with the same thing Grif had and we need to get them before she turns into a tree."

"Would that really be a bad thing though?" Grif asked.

"Considering she would probably try to take as many of the girls out with her, yes."

"Did I ever tell you that I hate Tex?"

"Probably at some point, but look. Apparently there are tunnels under the forest and the girls are lost in them. The longer they're in there for, the longer..." Church trailed off when he saw O'Malley hanging from a tree. "What's with O'Malley?"

"He triggered one of Sigma's traps." Delta said simply.

O'Malley's eyes snapped open and he gazed at Church's cutie mark, before laughing maniacally.

"Shit, he woke up." Simmons muttered.

"In more ways than one you idiot!" O'Malley snapped. "Let me down from here before I do something you all regret!"

"The chances of you doing anything up there are pretty slim."

"There is a vine tied to that tree, if you untie it you will free me!" O'Malley said quickly.

"Why would we want to do that?" Grif asked.

"I know where that fool put the traps." O'Malley snapped. "Let me down so I can show him just how far my rage stretches."

"He's trying to trick us. One second he promises to help us, and the next he kills us all."

"No, he's telling the truth."

"What are you yapping about?" Sarge asked. "You're not really thinking of letting him down, are you?"

"Sigma told me he left O'Malley here for you guys to find. So Delta, what do you think we should do?"

"I assumed as much." Delta nodded. "Bring him down."

"Are you sure?" Church asked.

"Omega will go through great lengths to get revenge, and as dangerous as he is, he knows where Sigma placed the tunnel trap. I believe he can be of assistance to us as of now."

"Okay." Church nodded as he pulled on the vine, causing O'Malley to slam into the ground.

Unusual Allies

"Thanks for catching me." O'Malley grunted as he pulled himself off of the ground. He hit some dirt off of his head and glared at Simmons. "What are you staring at?"

"It's just that I kind of expected you to try and kill us as soon as you were free." Simmons muttered.

"That can wait. Where are the other fragments?"

"Caboose is watching Gamma, Allison is with the other girls-"

"Where is Sigma?" O'Malley snapped.

"He is going to find Theta to make sure he doesn't mess up his plan." Church sighed.

"Good, then that should give us time to find your friends and slam Sigma's skull into the ground. It will be glorious."

"Why does O'Malley want to help us?" Grif asked quietly. "I mean, compared to him I would trust my life with Sarge..."

"Sigma strung me up for bait, and I intend to do the same. Except he will be hung without his skin! And instead of being hung up as bait, I will hang him up for fun!" O'Malley snapped. "Now follow me, the entrance to the caves is this way."

The guys watched as O'Malley walked over to Gary and ripped the vines off of him.

"Hello O'Malley, you are just in time for story time! it is the fourth best time of the day!"

"I am in no mood for stories." O'Malley said flatly.

"O'Malley! Ya came t' rescue me didja?' Gary chuckled. "Now that there's two of us we can take out these shisnos."

"No you fool! For now they are our allies."

"Are ya serious?" Gary asked with a laugh. "Why would ya wanna team up with-"

"I swear if you say shisno one more time I will rip off your jaw."

"Come now Omega, there is no need for that attitude. Besides, it's not even my jaw." Gary said as he got off the ground. "But why th' sudden change of heart?"

"Sigma was so bold as to leave me to these idiots in attempt to lure them here. Let's just say I don't appreciate that very much, and as much as I hate these fools we both have a common enemy."

"Well ah don't want to help these guys..."

"It's either you help them or you get strung up along side him." O'Malley said threateningly as he picked Gary up by his throat.

"That's a convincin' argument." Gary said quickly.

"Good." O'Malley grunted, releasing Gary. "Now leave that body, we will need as many bodies as possible."

"But ah'm safe in here."

O'Malley lowered his gaze and bit his lip, showing he was in no mood to argue. Gary sighed and closed Applejack's eyes. Gary's body appeared next to applejack and she lunged up, gasping for breath.

"You okay AJ?" Sarge asked.

"Ah think so..." Applejack muttered, finding it hard to concentrate. "What happened? Who's th' other red guy?"

"My name is O'Malley."

"Are ya one of them AI fellas?'

"Yes, now get the hell off your backside so we can find your friends." O'Malley ordered before he started walking away.

"Not th' friendly sort ah take it..." Applejack grunted as Sarge helped her to her hooves. "Thank ya Sarge."

"Don't mention it." Sarge said quietly before walking after O'Malley. "Now come on, the other girls are in trouble."

"Ah know the girls, they can handle themselves."

"In most circumstances that would be true." Delta nodded. "Sigma has notified us that Tex became infected with the same virus that Grif had received."

"Don't mean t' be mean, but how exactly does that make the others in trouble?"

"It appears that Twilight was the one who willingly infected Tex as a precaution, and if they do not find the antidote soon Tex will most likely take the girls out with her."

"Then what are we waitin' for?" Applejack asked before readjusting her hat.

"I'm still saying this is a bad idea." Grif said in a singsong voice as Applejack ran after O'Malley and Sarge.

"Of course it is, you shisnos are incapable of having good ideas." Gary sighed.

"So how are you liking this place so far Tex?" Pinkie asked as she hopped beside Tex.

"Well so far it's pretty dirty and my ankle is hurting." Tex said sarcastically.

"Probably because Twilight fucked you up." Tucker chuckled.

"She didn't fuck me up." Tex said firmly.

"Oh? Then what did you call it?"

"She just used a cheap tactic to win."

"How is using the environment cheap?" Twilight asked.

"I'm just saying it wasn't a fair fight."

"It wasn't exactly a fair fight to begin with. I'm not much of a fighter, I simply used my brain to gain the advantage."

"Fair enough." Tex said reluctantly.

"I still can't believe how this place is still standing." Twilight said as she gazed around the tunnels. "There are no supports holding this tunnel up, and it is clearly hundreds of years old. And to keep it hidden from ponies everywhere? Whoever built this must be a structural genius."

"That's fascinating, now where is the exit?"

"I don't know Tex, I'm merely admiring the work of whoever made this place. Does that really bother you?"

"Of course it does, everything bothers Tex." Tucker said. Tex snarled and kicked Tucker in the jaw. "See what I mean? Permanent PMS. Hey, does anybody else see that?"

"See what?" Twilight asked, looking further down the tunnel.

"That light, further down the tunnel..." Tucker said, starting to walk faster towards it.

"I don't see anything..." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"Stay here, I'll fly up ahead and see what it is." Tucker said as he started to fly through the narrow tunnels.

"Rainbow Dash, has Tucker ever acted strangely in tight spaces?" Twilight asked.

"Bow chicka bow wow." Tucker said as he got out of hearing distance.

"Shut up Tucker." Tex yelled.

"Not that I've noticed, why?" Rainbow Dash asked, curious as to what Twilight was implying.

"I think you guys might want to check this out!" Tucker yelled from further down the tunnel, causing Twilight to lose her train of thought.

"You found something?" Twilight asked loudly.

"Yeah, it's something alright!"

"Well what is it?"

"There's a lot of torches and stuff down here..."

The girls looked at each other before trotting down the tunnel, making sure not to trip over any runes. It took them a minute until they could see Tucker standing next to a torch on the wall.

"Wow, Delta wasn't kidding when he said you have good eyes." Twilight noted as she saw the torch.

"Must be because I adjusted to never having the sniper rifle." Tucker chuckled.

"Yeah, that's definitely the reason..." Tex muttered.

"Whatever, just look..."

Twilight looked further down the tunnel and saw dozens more torches lining the walls. There were no runes along this part of the tunnel, and there were some support beams along the top, keeping it from falling.

"What are you doing down here?" A voice said curiously from behind them.

Twilight spun around to see a pale white unicorn calmly staring at the group. He adorned a long beard which reached the ground. His face was covered in wrinkles, bruises and scars. His eyes were blood red, making him look like a monster.

"W-who are you and what are you doing down here?" Twilight asked.

"I could ask you the same thing." The stallion said, before looking at Tex’s ankle. "Ah, it seems you triggered one of my many traps."

"Those traps are yours?" Tex asked as she took a step towards him, getting ready for a fight.

"I mean you no harm and I assure you that you are in good hooves. I have an antidote that will clear that right up." The stallion said as he walked past Tex. His horn began to glow and a large patch of dirt sank into the ground to reveal a large room. He took a few steps back and bowe. "After you."

"How can you use magic?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Your questions can be answered after we help your friend, aye?" The stallion said as stroked his beard. "Now please, I insist..."

Tex and Twilight shared a small nod and the group quickly filed into the room. The old stallion coughed and followed them into the room, before using his magic to close the entrance back up.

Author's Note

Once the entrance closed, the girls looked around the room. The further wall was lined with shelves that held hundreds of books. On the right side of the room there was a small fireplace with dozens of cabinets around it. On the left side of the room there was half a dozen cots set up, along with a small chest at the foot of each cot.

"Feel free to make yourselves at home." The stallion said before chuckling lightly to himself. "I apologize for the mess, I wasn't expecting guests to drop in."

"There are almost as many books in here than in the royal library." Twilight said as she walked to the bookshelves to examine them.

"I assure you that the royal library has no books like mine." The stallion said, temporarily forgetting about the antidote. "Mine contain spells that are far too powerful to be held in a place with such poor security."

"What kind of spells?"

"I have recorded knowledge of hundreds of runes and how to cast them, as well as thousands of wards that each serve a different purpose. Some are meant for healing, some for self protection. I even have a few wards that gravely alters the body of any who enter. You should be so lucky that I just had the anti-magic ward in the tunnels and not that one."

"Why?" Tucker asked. "I've had my body altered before."

"You have?" The stallion asked curiously.

"I wasn't always a sta- well actually I was always a stallion, just not in the literal sense."

"Ah, you simply transformed. I've seen those before." The stallion nodded before grinning darkly. "But I'm afraid that this ward turns your skin inside out.'

"It must have taken ages to research all those wards." Twilight noted inquisitively.

"I don't see why it would have seeing as I invented each of them." The stallion said with a smile.

Twilight's jaw dropped and she began to grin wildly.

"Something the matter?" The stallion asked nervously.

"Are you Starswirl the Bearded?"

"Starswirl the..." The stallion started, but trailed off and looked at the ground, seemingly thinking very hard. He suddenly burst out with laughter and smiled. "If I were so wise. I have gone by many names, but that one is not one of them. I have met him though, if that counts for anything."

"You've met Starswirl the Bearded?" Twilight asked excitedly. "You have to tell me what he was like! Was he as smart as I think he was?"

"Probably smarter."

"Oh my goodness, this is amazing." Twilight gawked. "Please, tell me more. I'd love to hear more about him."

"In due time." The stallion promised as he made his way to a small wooden cabinet. He opened it and started to look at the potions that were on the inside, looking for the antidote to the timberwolf infection. "It certainly is nice to meet a fellow unicorn with an appreciation for the fine arts of magic that isn't as ancient as me."

"You don't look that ancient." Fluttershy said kindly.

"I thank you for the compliment, but I can assure you that I really am ancient."

"How ancient are we talking?" Tucker asked. "Like star ancient, or Church's sex life ancient?"

Tex struck Tucker on the back of the head, causing him to fall over.

"Son of a bitch." Tucker grunted.

"Let's just say that I knew Celestia since she was a child."

"What? That must have been several thousand years ago! Regular unicorns can't live for that long." Rainbow Dash said slowly, eyes narrowing.

"I assure you I am far from a regular unicorn." The stallion sighed sadly.

"How old are you?" Rarity asked curiously. "If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"I wish I could remember the exact date." The stallion said with a troubled expression, but he chuckled lightly when he brought out a small vial with a yellow mixture inside. "Here we are, one antidote for the fair mare."

"Thanks." Tex grunted as she slowly took the vial out of the stallions hoof. She brought it up to her eyes and began to swirl the vial. "So this is the antidote, huh?"

"Yes."

"So you wouldn't mind drinking from it to show that it isn't really poison?"

"I don't have much of the antidote, so I am not willing to waste any on myself unless I need it. It is either you trust me or you don't, and if you don't I would ask you to give the vial back."

Tex narrowed her eyes and popped the cork out of the vial. She put her muzzle over the mouth and began to sniff the mixture. The scent burned her nose and caused her to gag.

"It does have a potent smell, doesn't it?" The stallion chuckled.

"That's one way to put it." Tex grunted before downing the vial in one swig. She dropped the vial and began to sputter, quickly scraping her tongue with her hooves.

"But the taste is even more potent than the smell. In hindsight, I probably could have mentioned that."

"Do you think?" Tex hissed as she continued scraping her tongue.

"You have to excuse me, it has been several millenia since I have talked to anypony so I tend to be forgetful."

"Wow, several millenialijicallits sitting in old, dusty tunnels by yourself? Don't you ever get bored?" Pinkie asked.

"When you've been alive as long as I have, you lose track of loneliness and boredom." The stallion chuckled as he walked up to one of the bookshelves and began to look through the collection,

"I have an idea!" Pinkie gasped. "How about we throw you a party?"

"Thank you for the offer, but that will not be-" The stallion turned to see balloons tied to every surface, as well as a table that held treats and a bowl of punch in the middle of the room. "-necessary."

He looked up at the ceiling to see a banner that said happy birthday, followed by a name that had been crossed out.

"Sorry, I forgot that I only brought my birthday cannon with me." Pinkie said sadly.

"Do not worry about it." The stallion said, placing a hoof on her shoulder. "After all, it is the though that counts, is it not?"

"Yeah!" Pinkie said as she ran up to the table. "Would you like some punch?"

"I would love some." The stallion said as he turned to the others. "She is quite the friendly sort, isn't she?"

"Pinkie Pie is the friendliest pony I know." Twilight nodded.

"I suppose I should be glad that I'm being hospitable to a fine group of adults such as yourselves." He said as Pinkie ran up to him to give him a plastic cup filled with fruit punch. "Thank you very much. Pinkie, was it?"

"Yup, what's your name?" Pinkie asked.

"Sadly, I do not recall my name."

"You don't?"

The stallion shook his head.

"Well I'm going to call you Long Beard!" Pinkie smiled warmly.

"Long Beard it is." The stallion smiled back.

"So why haven't I heard of these tunnels before?" Twilight asked as she looked around the room.

"Because I never told anypony about them. When others see you as a monster, you don't exactly have many options in real estate on the outer world so you have to set out and create your own home."

"I was going to say you look downright fucking creepy." Tucker chuckled.

"That is not the reason they think of me as a monster. Appearances mean next to nothing compared to the actions I have committed."

"What kind of actions?" Twilight asked, trying to cover up the fact that she was beginning to grow fearful of the unicorn.

"Well you see, I am the writer of a rather important book in Equestria's history."

"That doesn't sound evil to me." Fluttershy said.

"If only you knew..." Long Beard muttered, shaking his head dimly. He slowly looked up to see Twilight staring at him with eyes that seemed to pierce right through him.

"It wasn't any of the books in here, was it?" Twilight asked.

Long Beard shook his head and sighed before putting the vial back into the cupboard.

"What was the book called?" Twilight asked hollowly, knowing in her mind she already knew the answer.

"I don't suppose you've heard of a book called the Necronomicon?"

Idle Worries

"You're the writer of the Necronomicon?" Twilight asked, jaw dropping.

"Ah, you're familiar with the name?" Long Beard asked happily. "I guess that means I will not have to explain much."

"That's an understatement." Tucker muttered. "That thing is pretty fucked up, you know that?"

"Indeed it is. The ability to see the date of ones death often puts a damper on things.

"You can see when people die with that thing?"

"Of course, what else could you be referring to?"

"I kinda just meant that his personality could use some work."

"Wait, personality?" Long Beard gasped. "I thought you meant the mere concept of him to be so, I had not thought that you had actually met him..."

"Well I met him, and he is an asshole."

"He was not always so." Long Beard said, before shaking his head dismissively. "When did you see him? Has it been weeks? Months? Years?"

"Less than twenty four hours ago." Twilight replied.

"Twenty four hours?" Long Beard asked hastily, eyes growing in fear. "That must mean he is still nearby..."

"Yes he is. He never told us about you living here though." Twilight said as her bright eyes met his blood red eyes.

"Do you have him in your possession?"

"Not right now. Right now he is at my home, completely-"

"Does Celestia know you have him?"

"No, she doesn't."

"Good." Long Beard said with a sigh of relief. He slowly got up and began to smile shakily. "You had me very worried for a second there. How do you have such a dangerous item in your possession?"

"We had a friend who sacrificed himself to save another, so I went into Canterlot's Archaic Wing to look for a spell to bring him back. When we got there we found the Necronomicon and he offered to bring him back."

"But you walked away, aye?" Long Beard asked icily, narrowing his eyes at Twilight.

"We were going to but-"

"You used him? What were you thinking?" Long Beard snapped, eyes turning slightly darker. He quickly ran to his bookshelf and pulled out another book. "We can only hope that it isn't too late."

"Too late for what?" Twilight asked nervously.

"Who did you use to revive him?" Long Beard asked as he flipped through the book in a matter of seconds. "Was it somepony evil? Was it somepony you picked off the streets?"

"No, it was our friend Church."

"You sacrificed your friend to save another?" Long Beard asked quietly. "Why would you convince one to go about that?"

"He willingly volunteered to do it."

"Thank goodness for small mercies." Long Beard said as he exhaled heavily. "Though I don't suppose you intend on bringing that friend back at a later date as well, hm?"

"I don't see why seeing as he doesn't seem to be able to die."

"Your friend knows the spell of immortality?" Long Beard asked contemplatively. "Odd, I thought I was the only one..."

"No, he is just naturally immortal."

"I'm not sure natural would be what I would call it." Spike said as he began looking in the cupboards. "Got any gems around here?"

"Spike! Remember what happened last time you took other peoples stuff without asking." Twilight reminded Spike.

"How odd, a pony who is a friend with both a dragon and an immortal?" Long Beard asked himself. "But to answer your question, yes, I do have some gems that you may have."

One of the cupboard next to Spike flew open and several large gems, each one a different color, began to float out of it.

"Take whichever few you wish."

"Really?" Spike asked as he reached out for a large ruby.

"What use are gems to me?" Long beard chuckled. "It would be better if you ate them, otherwise they would eventually just be forgotten."

"Thanks." Spike said happily as he grabbed the ruby and took a large bite out of it.

"Thank you for your hospitality." Twilight said appreciatively.

"Not at all. It pays to be nice to guests, especially ones I can trust, aye?" Long Beard asked hollowly.

"Yes, it does."

"I don't suppose you could do me a favor..."

"That depends on what that favor is." Twilight said warily.

"I would ask that you do not tell anypony of my existence." Long Beard said, forcing a smile. "Especially Princess Celestia."

"Why?"

"I..." Long Beard trailed off, looking for the right words. "Let us just say that I may have spoken to her in a manner which she most probably has not yet forgotten..."

"What did you say?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Many things that I should not have. I would apologize to her if i were not so afraid of what she would do to me."

"Don't worry, you've come to the right guy. I know what it's like to have a woman pissed at you, but spend a few minutes with me and I can tell you all you need to know about having them forgive you."

Rainbow Dash quickly struck Tucker in the back of the head, causing Long Beard to chuckle.

"What are you laughing at?" Tucker asked as he rubbed the back of his head. "I'm not the one in love with Celestia..."

"Love? Celestia?" Long Beard started to laugh. "Oh my, you do tell the finest of jokes."

"Then what are you so worried about?" Twilight asked. "Celestia is one of the most forgiving ponies I know."

"Ah, I do wish I could believe that. I really do." Long Beard shook his head. Suddenly his ear twitched and he looked over to where he had lowered the dirt to enter.

"What's wrong?" Tex asked as she turned towards the door, anticipating trouble.

"It appears that others are approaching the entrance to the tunnels." Long Beard said quietly, eyes closed.

"That must be Applejack and the others." Rainbow Dash nodded.

"There are nine ponies at the entrance, but I sense that they are not all coming in with good intentions..."

"Are you sure there are nine?" Twilight asked.

"Yes. There is one mare, whose heart is filled with honesty."

"That's our friend Applejack alright." Rainbow Dash said.

"There is a simple minded stallion who is walking along side one who seems to be growing annoyed of him."

"That must be Church, but I don't think Caboose would get annoyed with him." Pinkie said as she tapped her chin.

"There is one walking slightly behind them who seems deep in thought."

"Delta." Twilight nodded.

"Then there are three keeping the back, two of which being red, while the third is an off yellow."

"Wow, the reds are still alive?" Tucker asked sarcastically.

"At least they're all together." Twilight sighed, before turning back to him. "Wait that's only seven, who are the other two?"

"One's heart is addled with rage, while the other one's mind is full of deceit." Long Beard said, before raising his brow and smirking. "He is trying surprisingly hard not to tell a knock knock joke. Too bad too, it is quite a clever one."

"They captured O'Malley and Gary?" Tucker asked, surprised. "How the hell did they manage to do that?"

"I am not sure." Long Beard said. The dirt entrance quickly sank into the ground and he opened his eyes. "I suppose that means you shall be on your way?"

"Yes." Twilight nodded.

"It was certainly nice meeting you all. While I do not get lonely, it certainly was refreshing." Long Beard said sincerely. "Now for the matter of Celestia..."

"I won't bring it to her attention, but if she asks I am afraid I will have to tell her the truth."

"I suppose that is fair enough." Long Beard nodded somberly. "There is another thing that you could do for me, however-"

"I'm sorry, but I don't plan on returning anytime soon with the Necronomicon." Twilight said quickly, anticipating him to tell her to bring it back.

"I no longer trust myself with that, I am afraid." Long Beard shook his head as the others started to leave. "I can sense confusion in your mind on regards to a certain stallion..."

"Really?" Twilight asked said, casting a curious eye over Long beard. "What is it that you want me to do for you?"

"Tell him your feelings. It is not wise to ignore them for the sake of others. When all the cards are on the table you will come to realize that it is better to have tried and failed, than to never have tried at all. Rejection could hurt for a long time, but the pain of not knowing will haunt you forever."

"Thank you." Twilight said quietly before following the others out the room.

"Anytime." Long Beard nodded before closing the exit to his room.

Familiar Surroundings

"Here we are." O'Malley said darkly as he stopped at the edge of a large cave.

"Are you sure this is it?" Church asked, wary of the possibility that O'Malley could be tricking them.

"I am positive." O'Malley nodded. He smelled the air and then scowled. "I can smell Sigma's past presence here."

"How exactly do you know they are in there?"

"While I was suspended by that fool Sigma, I happened to hear the sound of earth crumbling beneath a group of cowards feet, and seeing as you're still here I am willing to assume it was your friends. This is the only cave that I noticed in the area, so it is your best bet at finding your imbecilic friends."

"I don't want to go in there." Grif said weakly.

"You know that doesn't make any sense." Church said, growing annoyed at Grif for always trying to avoid work. He now understood how Sarge felt having him around daily, and he didn't like it. "You tried tackling the Meta, you fought a group of wolves, and not only that but you've done dozens of other things that would frighten most regular people."

"And?"

"Why the hell would a cave be the thing that scares you?"

"There could be bats in there..." Grif muttered.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

"Perhaps it would be wise if the reds stay out here with Applejack, Gamma and Caboose." Delta said as he looked for movement in the cave. "If we all go in there would be seventeen of us running through the tunnels. And it would be better if we have the ones that cannot die enter the tunnels as we will risk no loss."

Yeah, I like that plan." Grif nodded hastily.

"Why can't I come then?" Gary asked sadly. "I could tell us some jokes. In fact I think I have a clever one right now!"

"No, you will stay out here with the others." Church said firmly. "As of now it seems we can trust O'Malley, but it is more difficult to trust you."

"I can tell Gary more stories!" Caboose said happily.

"Kill me." Gary begged.

"Later." O'Malley promised as he walked into the cave. "Now let's go. I do not want to waste my anger on one who deserves it slightly less than Sigma."

"We'll be out soon." Church sighed as he walked up to O'Malley.

"Be careful in there." Applejack said quietly.

"Wait a second." Simmons said quickly, causing the others to stop.

"What is it?" Delta asked hesitantly.

"I've been to this cave before." Simmons said as he looked in the cave nervously. "This is where we got the cockatrice's scale for Grif."

"Didn't Tucker kill it?" Grif asked as he laid his back against a stump. "I mean, he had it's fucking tail with him when he came back to Zecora's, so..."

"Well I kind of got knocked unconscious so I'm not sure. But it wasn't just that one, there was like twenty in there."

"We will tread carefully. Thank you for the warning Simmons." Delta said with a nod.

"Perhaps I can cut off one of their heads and use it on Sigma." O'Malley said confidently. "Then when he is stone I could smash him in half, then free him from the stone prison and watch as he bleeds! It would be beautiful."

"I think it would be better if we just stayed out of their way, that way we don't have to risk getting turned into stone." Church said, not wanting O'Malley to get his hooves on something that could do damage.

"Spoilsport." O'Malley hissed.

"Delta, use your horn and allow us to see in the darkness."

Delta nodded and briefly closed his eyes as he cast the spell that Twilight had used the night before.

"Be careful in there." Applejack said as Church, Delta and O'Malley disappeared into the darkness of the cave.

"So what did that guy talk to you about?" Tucker asked when Twilight had walked up to them.

"Nothing really, he was just making sure I wouldn't say anything to Celestia." Twilight shrugged innocently. "I hope you girls won't either."

"Are you sure we shouldn't?" Rarity asked nervously. "What if she finds out that we know where this stallion lives?"

"How would we explain how we found him without telling her about what we did last night?" Twilight asked, inviting an answer.

"That is a good point." Rarity said contemplatively, trying to think of an alternative. "Very well. I promise not to tell Celestia."

"Same here." Rainbow Dash said.

"I Pinkie promise." Pinkie nodded as she crossed her heart with her hoof before putting it on her eye.

"But we have to tell her..." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Please Fluttershy. Long Beard looks like he wants nothing more than to live here peacefully."

"But what if she finds out we've been keeping secrets from her? I don't want to be banished."

"She wouldn't banish you." Twilight said, shaking her head.

"I don't know..." Fluttershy sighed as she pushed a pebble with her hoof.

"How about you sleep on it?" Twilight said pleadingly.

"Okay." Fluttershy said with a small nod.

Twilight turned to Tex and Tucker, who were both just staring at her with passive faces.

"My whole life has been based on trading favors, and since he gave me that antidote I guess I owe him one." Tex nodded.

"Good." Twilight said with a thin smile. She turned to Tucker and raised her brow.

"I wouldn't even know how to tell her even if I wanted to." Tucker said.

"Thank you." Twilight said appreciatively as she turned to look down the tunnel. "Remember to mind the runes and keep a look out for anything that could harm us."

The group slowly made their way down the tunnel, carefully walking around each rune that was embedded in the ground. They walked for half an hour until the dirt gave way to stone. Twilight was the first to reach the stone, and when she did she quickly looked around, making sure that they were in the clear of the runes. Twilight looked back to the others and nodded, prompting them that it was safe.

"Are you sure there are no runes here?" Tex asked with a curious eye. She then looked at the ground and shook her head in disgust. "I can't believe I've been here for less than a day and I'm already believing this magic bullshit..."

"I know right?" Tucker chuckled.

Twilight closed her eyes temporarily and tested herself. Her horn began to grow dimly and she picked up a small rock from nearby.

"Don't be a show off." Tex said roughly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to come off that way." Twilight said quietly, dropping the rock back to the ground. "If anything I guess that it shows we are no longer within range of Long Beard's security measures, so I think that we are in the clear of any more runes."

"Good, I hated taking things slowly."

"Does this place seems familiar to you?" Rarity asked suddenly as she looked over to Rainbow Dash and Tucker.

"I was going to say that." Rainbow Dash nodded nervously. Something caught her eye and she froze in fear.

"What's wrong?" Twilight asked, but Rainbow Dash remained still as she stared at a certain spot in the cave.

Twilight squinted here eyes to see what Rainbow Dash was looking it. It took her a few seconds to see something in the middle of the tunnel, but she wasn't sure what it was. She used her magic an levitated the torch to the anomaly and gasped. There was a large patch of dried blood, as well as dozens of bluish-green scales littered around it. Suddenly dozens of creatures started to hiss and shriek behind them.

Finish Him

The group quickly turned around to see dozens of cockatrices slithering out of each tunnel.

"They're everywhere." Fluttershy said meekly. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know." Twilight said quietly, the stream of creatures not giving any hint of slowing.

"Well there's no use standing here." Tex grunted angrily.

A sudden, louder shriek echoed through the tunnels, causing the flow of cockatrices to stop. They began staring around with looks of uncertainty. Another shriek, this time even louder and closer echoed through the cave. This time a large amount of the cockatrices slithered back through the tunnels, though the twenty largest ones stayed planted in their spot.

"Where are they going?" Pinkie Pie asked. She gasped and started making their way towards them. "Maybe the loud one said that he's having a party and we're all invited!"

There was now a low hiss echoing through the cave. The sound bounced off the walls, confusing the group as to which direction the noise was coming from. A large cockatrice began to slither out of one of the tunnels, eyes glowing bright red. It moved slower than the other cockatrices, but it wasn't until it fully emerged that they saw it had no tail.

"Uh oh..." Tucker said quietly.

"What did you do?" Tex hissed, keeping her eyes on the hulking creature.

"I may or may not have cut it in half..."

"And it's still alive?" Tex asked with no sign of fear or concern in her voice.

The large cockatrice was now twenty feet away, eyes focusing on Tucker as it began to plan it's next move.

"Oh shit, I think he remembers me." Tucker said as he quickly started to back away.

The cockatrice noticed this and let out a deafening shriek before lunging towards Tucker. Rainbow Dash quickly sprung into action and tackled the cockatrice out of the air, pinning it to the ground. The cockatrice hissed and flapped it's wings, intending to slam Rainbow Dash against the roof of the cave. Rainbow Dash took this into account and quickly rolled off of it's belly just before it hit, but the cockatrice was too close to the ceiling to brake so it slammed into the roof, dazing it for several seconds. The other cockatrices then began to charge at the group, taking advantage of the fact that they were almost entirely focused on the larger cockatrice.

"We need to get out of here." Twilight said as she saw one of the creatures jump towards them. Twilight used her magic to grab it out of the air, then threw it towards a small group of cockatrices, knocking most of them down.

"Where is the way out?" Rainbow Dash asked sharply as she bucked a cockatrice in the throat. "There's like half a dozen paths!"

"I'm willing to bet that it's the way they aren't coming from." Tex said as she twisted a cockatrice's neck, killing it instantly.

Twilight looked around an noted the tunnels in which some cockatrices came from. Much to Twilight's frustration, each tunnel had a a few cockatrices blocking the path, making Twilight unsure which tunnel was the right way out. Her eyes shot open and she looked at the small puddle of dried blood and scales and began to look around frantically.

"What are you looking at?" Tucker asked as one of the cockatrices tackled him to the ground.

"That way!" Twilight said as she shot a bolt of magic towards one of the tunnels, knocking the cockatrices in it's path out of the way. "There is a small trail of cockatrice blood leading that way."

"You heard her! Move your asses now!" Tex yelled as she and the others began making their way to the tunnel.

The large cockatrice hit Twilight in the side of the head, causing her to fall to the ground. Before she could get back up she began to get dragged away by one of the smaller cockatrices. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash turned back and started making their way to her.

"Run!" Twilight snapped as she kicked the cockatrice off of her.

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy nodded hesitantly and followed the others through the tunnel. Twilight began to use her magic to fight the cockatrice, but it wrapped around her thigh and began to look into her eyes, causing her to lose focus. Twilight, realizing the rate at which her strength was diminishing, quickly began struggling to get free of it's grip, but every time she moved it allowed the cockatrice to tighten it's grip even further. Twilight looked back into the cockatrice's eyes and felt her a numbing sensation pass through her legs and up to her waist. Panic began to set in as she tried to shake it free one more time, but to no success.

"Oh no you don't." A voice said, tackling the cockatrice off of Twilight.

Twilight gasped and stared at the ceiling, happy to just be able to breathe. She slowly sat up and looked at her legs, which were now losing their stone like appearance. She looked up to see the figure wrestle the cockatrice to the ground. The hoof of the figure shot towards the cockatrice's throat, quickly followed by the sound of a sickening crunch. The cockatrice went limp and the figure began to walk towards Twilight, ignoring the large and tailless cockatrice. Twilight's vision came back to focus and she saw Tex staring at her uncertainly.

"Can you move?" Tex asked.

"Yes, I-I think so." Twilight said in a rough voice and began rubbing her throat. "Why did you came back?"

"If anybody is going to kill you, it's going to be me." Tex chuckled darkly as she helped Twilight up to her hooves. She turned around when the large cockatrice shrieked, calling the other cockatrices back to the cave. "Keep them off my back and I'll keep them off yours."

"Right." Twilight nodded, beginning to feel her strength return to her at an incredible rate as a large amount of cockatrices surrounded them. "And Tex?"

"What?"

"Thank you."

"If you tell anybody I came back to help you I will literally slam your skull into the ground." Tex said quietly.

"I know." Twilight smirked.

Tex and Twilight stayed back to back for nearly half an hour, fending off the onslaught of cockatrices. Twilight knocked them away with precision, and while they were dazed Tex would finish them without mercy. Dozens of cockatrices retreated, knowing that they would be slaughtered if they remained. The large cockatrice remained with nearly a dozen other cockatrices.

"How are you holding up?" Twilight panted as she shot a weak bolt of magic at one of them.

"Barely." Tex grunted as she threw her hoof at the cockatrice.

The large cockatrice noticed their state and shot towards them, shrieking loudly at his soon to be victory. The creature shot to the ground by a red blur and maniacal laughter echoed through the cave. Tex, Twilight and the remaining cockatrices turned to see a red pony fighting, and winning, against the beast.

"O'Malley?" Tex asked, shocked.

"Hello Allison." O'Malley said as he stabbed his hoof though the cockatrices stomach.

The cockatrice began to writhe in pain, trying to throw O'Malley off of it's body, but O'Malley held on to the cockatrices insides so every time that it thrashed, it injured nothing but itself. After a few minutes of thrashing, O'Malley stuck his second hoof in and grabbed hold of it's heart. O'Malley looked at the heart, which kept a slow beat even after it had been ripped out. The cockatrice hissed once more and managed to shake O'Malley free.

"What are you doing here?" Tex asked nervously.

"Saving the day, it seems." O'Malley chuckled morosely. he looked over at the cockatrice, which was still somehow coming towards them. He tossed the heart on the ground and stomped on it. The cockatrice's eyes shot open and it fell limp, and once the remaining few cockatrices witnessed this, they quickly slithered away at an incredible speed. "Well that was fun. Wish it put up more of a fight though. Ah well, hopefully Sigma brings me more joy in the pain department."

"You want to kill Sigma?" Twilight asked as she slowly backed away from O'Malley, knowing how dangerous he is.

"What? Don't tell me you think I'm heartless." O'Malley said, booming with laughter. "Ah, my wit provides me with great amusement. But to answer your question, no, I do not want to kill Sigma. I wish to watch him suffer painfully, that is all."

"You and me both." Church said as he entered the tunnel. Twilight and Tex smiled weakly at Church. Twilight opened her mouth to greet him, but Church interrupted when she saw that she was having a hard time speaking. "As soon as O'Malley heard something he sprinted ahead of us to take part in the action. He loves seeing things in pain even more than Tex does."

"It's the little things." O'Malley said dryly, pretending to wipe a tear out of his eye. "Now let's leave this place, the others are outside."

Ruinous Behavior

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Grif yelped after church had explained how O'Malley had dispatched of the cockatrice.

"Are you not entertained?" O'Malley boomed as he exited the cave with a sickening smile on his face.

"You're sick."

"You're too kind." O'Malley said with a bow. "I'm here all night."

"Don't remind me." Church sighed.

"Ah, so everyone is regrouped then?" Sigma's voice said, once again coming from no distinguishable location. "Fantastic, now I can up the ante in my traps."

"Sigma!" O'Malley snarled. "Show yourself, coward! Show yourself so I can peel your skin off like a banana and feast on your bones!"

"So you've somehow managed to get O'Malley on your side?" Sigma's chuckle bounced around the forest. "That is rather surprising. Not only are they trusting you, but you're joining them on your own free will."

"It is a temporary arrangement." O'Malley snapped.

"Of course it is." Sigma said, and with the tone of voice the group could tell he was smiling, unconvinced. "I thought all of you would have gotten to this point much sooner. I have grown quite bored of waiting, and I have been unable to find Theta."

"Tell us where you are and I will relieve you, as well as myself, of our boredom."

"Are you fond of riddles?"

"No more games!" O'Malley commanded.

"You are in no position t make demands of me." Sigma sighed happily.

"Just tell us your riddle." Tex said snappishly.

"I am in the place where it all began, both your quest and my plan."

"First Gary with the jokes, and now Sigma with the riddles?" Grif asked jokingly. "What's next, is Tex going to start performing poetry?"

"That isn't much of a riddle." Twilight said quietly. "You're in the castle ruin where you were revived. I would have thought the very model of creativity could have come up with something better than that."

"She is smart." Sigma remarked darkly. "But you are correct. The riddle I gave you was easy, but that is just because I wish to see you soon. Don't keep me waiting, especially you O'Malley."

"Once I am finished with you I shall move onto them!" O'Malley yelled, but received no more from Sigma.

"We're standing right here..." Tucker muttered.

"I know very well that you are standing right there, but you will not push me away from you. Not until we are finished with Sigma."

"What makes you so sure of that?" Twilight asked hesitantly.

"Because you are not smart enough for that." O'Malley quipped. "Now enough of this. I did not manage to gain the head of that creature so I will have to settle on the old way of torture. The slow and painful kind! Onward to victory and bloodshed!"

The girls looked at each other warily, feeling that he was not joking.

"His attention is directed towards Sigma so there is no use worrying about him." Delta said calculatingly.

"But what if he captures him?" Rarity asked nervously.

"Assuming he does capture Sigma, and the chances of that being extremely slim, what do you think he will do?"

"Torture and kill him." Rarity said quietly, as if her words would get her in trouble.

"He will attempt to do so, but Sigma cannot die, and Omega is not the kind to let go of a grudge lightly."

"So he will torture him forever?" Fluttershy gasped.

"If he gets his hooves on him, yes, but once again the chances of him doing that are minuscule at best." Delta glanced at Fluttershy, who still looked troubled by his words. "You can also take into account that O'Malley will never harm us seeing as he never will be finished with Sigma."

"Is that supposed to be good news?" Fluttershy asked quietly. "What did Sigma do to us that would make him deserve that kind of treatment?"

"He's been trying to kill us." Church snapped.

"No, he hasn't." Fluttershy insisted. "He is doing things that are mean, but he isn't set on outright harming us. From what you and Delta have told me that is what he does. He can't help it if that's how he has to live."

"What about what happened to Tex? She wouldn't have gotten infected had it not been for Sigma!" Church said, and his eyes went wide with fear as he turned to Tex. "We need to get to Zecora's!"

"She is alright now." Fluttershy said quietly, but then covered her mouth when Twilight looked at her.

Church and the Reds turned to look at Tex, whose ankle was no longer bleeding, nor showed any signs of infection.

"How did the infection go away?" Simmons asked curiously.

Twilight opened her mouth to tell them, but remembered that Long Beard did not want anybody to know of his existence, so closed her mouth to think of an answer quick.

"I just walked it off." Tex shrugged. "Something that Grif never though of on account of him being a lazy bastard."

"That is impossible." Simmons grunted, but said nothing more since he could not think of any other way to explain the disappearance of the infection.

"I've seen things that were even more impossible than that happen." Church said, attempting to dismiss the matter. "And hey, as long as everything is alright, who are we to complain?"

"Church is right." Twilight said quickly as to move away from the conversation. "Tex is fine, we should hurry up and find Sigma and Theta so we can get out of here so we can find out what to do with them."

"Hey, I know what you could do." Gary said quietly.

"Shut up Gary." Church snapped.

"Okay." Gary sighed.

"Enough with the talking, and more with the walking." O'Malley snapped as he walked past a large group of bushes. "Breaking Sigma's spine cannot wait!"

The group, now consisting of seventeen members, set a brisk pace for the ruin of the castle. It took them nearly half an hour until they came to the bridge that was perched between them and the ruins. They stopped in front of it, looking out for anything that Sigma could have done to the bridge, such as cutting parts of the rope, but the bridge was safe.

"Okay, so what's the plan?" Church asked.

"Pinkie, Caboose, Grif and Fluttershy will stay on this side of the bridge and watch Spike and Gary." Twilight began.

"Again?" Gary whined. "Why can't I come, I promise to be good."

"Don't be sad Gary, I have more stories to tell!"

"Great." Gary said, spirits defeated.

"Tucker, Rainbow Dash, Simmons and Rarity will stay on the outside with Delta and Tex to-"

"I'm going in there too." Tex said harshly.

"I'm sorry Tex, but if there are too many of us in there we will just get in each others way. Besides, we can always call you in if the going gets tough."

"Fine." Tex nodded hesitantly after half of a minute, before walking to the bridge.

"Be careful." Fluttershy said as the others followed.

The group quickly crossed the bridge and stopped at the entrance of the ruins. Twilight shared a nod with Tex and the group splintered even further. Church, Twilight, Sarge, Applejack and O'Malley walked through the entrance and stopped once they reached the center of the room. They looked around hesitantly, seeing no signs of Sigma.

"Where is he?" Sarge asked.

"Ah, the heroes arrive at their destination at last!" Sigma said in a theatrical voice, sitting on the cracked statue that held the Elements of Harmony. "I half expected you to not show up at all. Where are the others?"

"Outside." O'Malley said flatly. "The purple one felt it was necessary to shield the eyes of the others while I rip out your spine."

"You always were a crude one." Sigma tutted, jumping off of the statue. "We all know that you're going to do something drastic and I will manage to get away once again."

O'Malley looked at the entrance to the ruins and kicked the wall. The wall around the entrance gave way, pieces falling in the way, effectively blocking the entrance.

"There will be no more running." O'Malley snapped.

"You fool! What have you done?" Sigma asked loudly.

"What are you yelling about?" Sarge asked, turning to where Sigma was looking. Once he caught sight of it his eyes shot open.

The walls of the ruins were coming apart, large chunks of the ruins crashed down near them. The ruin was collapsing in on them and the entrance was blocked. They had nowhere to run.

Protection

Everybody in the ruin dove to the ground and covered their heads, thinking it would protect them. Church realized this and cursed under his breath, waiting to be squished, but nothing happened. Church counted to five, again, nothing happened. Then to ten. He then took his hooves off his face and looked up. The rocks above them were pulsating, shimmering between dark purple and lavender.

"Quick thinking Twilight." Church said approvingly.

"That isn't me." Twilight said, looking at the staircase to the catacombs. "It's him."

Church turned to see a dark purple unicorn, horn glowing extremely brightly.

"Get down here now, unless of course you want to be crushed by the rubble." He said calmly.

"You heard the man, get down there." Sarge said quickly, pushing Applejack and Church ahead of him. "Ladies first of course."

"Theta?" Church asked as he started down the stairs with Applejack.

Theta nodded, growing more tired by the second.

"I'm not finished with Sigma yet." O'Malley said, picking Sigma up by his throat.

"You wish to be trapped forever just to get in a few seconds of revenge?" Theta asked.

O'Malley grunted and dropped Sigma to the ground before running down the stairs with Twilight and Sarge.

"Are you coming or not?"

"I am not going down there with him." Sigma said firmly.

"Fine, get trapped under here forever." Theta retorted abrasively, beginning to loosen his grip on the rocks.

Sigma growled and ran past Theta to get to a safe spot. Theta slowly backed down the stairs and released his grip on the ruins, allowing them to fall onto the entrance.

"Are you all alright?" Theta asked as he reached the bottom of the steps.

"Thanks t' you." Applejack nodded.

"When did you get your memory back?" Church asked curiously.

"It wasn't only Sigma that caught a glimpse of your mark before you vanished." Theta replied. "But as he ran, I hid."

"Coward." O'Malley laughed.

"Being a coward and self preservation are two entirely different matters."

"Just the sort of thing I expect a coward to say."

"Why didn't you help us earlier?" Twilight asked, quieting O'Malley.

"Because if I did I only would cause more harm than good. I felt it would be better if I laid low, that way Sigma would think that I was still wandering around aimlessly."

"Why did you stay here?"

"While Sigma tends to be creative, he always goes back to the basics. Like how he wanted to form back to the original Alpha, I felt he would come back here and finish the same place it started." Theta said quietly, keeping an eye on Sigma and O'Malley.

"We need to teleport out of here to tell the others we are fine." Twilight said as she began using a spell.

"Now is not the time for that." Theta said, placing his hoof on Twilight's shoulder to stop her. "Now is the time for resolution."

"Resolution?"

"Down here is the best place to discuss what will happen with the other AI's once this is over. Sigma has nowhere to run, and we can easily overpower Omega with numbers. I am also willing to bet Delta, Gamma and Allison are all accounted for."

Twilight nodded to confirm Theta's thought.

"What is there really to discuss?" Sarge asked. "Can't we just get Princess what's-her-name to lock them up in a dungeon?"

"A dungeon can only hold them for so long." Theta said dismissively.

"Then what do you think we should do?" Twilight asked.

"You won't like it."

"Well we haven't thought of anything suitable yet, so you might as well tell us." Church sighed.

"I think you should let us go about our own paths."

"And let them free?" Church asked, waving his hoof at O'Malley and Sigma. "Let them free to slaughter innocents? No, we have to think of something else."

"Epsilon, we are bound to you. While you looked for the others, I felt my strength disappear quickly, but once you came back I found my self gaining power faster than it had left."

"And?"

"The further they go from you, the weaker they get." Twilight said with a sad smile, trying to decide whether or not that was a good thing.

"Exactly." Theta nodded. "So if you let us go away, we will not be able to do anything particularly life threatening."

"Maybe." Church sighed. "Is there any way we can put a limit on their power if they stay near me?"

"I could look into it when we get back." Twilight said thoughtfully.

Church fell silent and stared at the floor, thinking through what little options there were.

"It's either that or we recreate the Alpha." Theta said, grabbing Church's attention.

"That's the last thing I want." Church said, trying not to think of what would happen if he chose that option.

"I know, that is not the choice I would choose either." Theta said doubtlessly. "But you need to decide soon."

"Why do I have to decide?"

"Because without you none of us would be here." Theta said, narrowing his eyes as he turned to Sigma and O'Malley. "And I am sure we will accept whatever option it is that you choose."

"Either free to do what I wish, or do what I had set out to do in the first place?" Sigma asked himself. "In that case yes, I would most likely accept whichever option you chose."

"As long as I am free to do what I will to Sigma, I could care less either way." O'Malley said darkly.

"You're not going to let that go, are you?"

"Not until I'm wearing your skin as a coat and your skull as a hat." O'Malley said snappishly.

"Touchy." Sigma sniffed.

"Well?" Theta asked, turning back to Church.

"I don't like the idea of letting them go, but we can't go back to being the Alpha." Church said, annoyed. "Are there no other options?"

"Ah think ah have an idea." Applejack coughed, bringing the others attention to her. "We could always make 'em do what Gary did t' me."

"Remember how you had no control of yourself when that happened? That would be the same thing as letting them go out on their own."

"Ah guess there's no other options then." Applejack said grimly. "Ah don't want t' see others get harmed, but there really ain't no other option."

"Fuck." Church said, hitting the ground.

"Why don't you sleep on it?" Theta asked. "Why don't you go tell the others what we discussed, then tell Delta to bring Gamma, Allison and himself down here. Together, the others and I can watch the others to make sure they don't torture each other, and none of them can escape on their own seeing as the stairs are blocked."

"Fine, but I'm going to stay up all night to think of another way out of this."

Theta nodded to Twilight and she teleported Church, Sarge, Applejack and herself outside of the castle, where everybody else was trying to clear a path to the entrance.

"Tucker, grab the other end of this one!" Rainbow Dash yelled as she got her hooves on one of the larger boulders.

"Yeah, yeah. On three we pull." Tucker sighed, grabbing onto the other end. "One, two-"

"What are ya'll doin'?" Applejack asked.

Rainbow Dash released the rock and turned around to see the others staring at them.

"Three!" Tucker yelled, pulling the boulder without realizing Rainbow Dash had let go.

"You're okay." Rainbow Dash said happily. "Wait, how are you okay?"

"Theta was here and he saved our hides." Sarge replied.

"Thank goodness, now I don't have to get my hooves dirty." Rarity said exasperatedly.

"Where's Delta?" Church asked.

"He is with Tex, making sure Gary doesn't run away." Rarity said, pointing to the other side of the bridge. "Wait, where are the other fragments of yours?"

"They're trapped under the rubble, per Theta's request." Twilight said.

"It is good to see you are unharmed." Delta said as he crossed the bridge with Gary and Tex. "I told the others that you were fine and they should not waste their time digging through-."

"Delta, I need to ask you a favor." Church said, interrupting Delta.

"What is it?"

"I need you to go down there with Tex and Gary to keep an eye on the others with Theta."

"Very well." Delta said, closing his eyes.

"Hey, now wait second." Tex said quickly. "I never agreed to-"

Tex's sentence was cut short by a green flash, caused by Delta bringing Tex and Gary into the catacombs.

"So does that mean we can go to sleep now?" Grif asked with a yawn.

"Yeah." Church grunted.

"About damn time."

Fresh Air

Twilight turned in her bed, unable to fall asleep. She looked at her clock and noted how she had been tossing and turning for over five hours. Sighing she looked down to Spike's bed, where he was snoring lightly, tired from all the running around. She grabbed her cover and slipped out from under it, making sure not to wake up Spike. She quickly, but quietly, made her way to the door and opened it. She looked back to Spike, who was still sleeping soundly, and went out of the room. She made her way to Church's room to talk to him, but the door was open and Church was nowhere to be found. She looked down the stairs and saw that the front door was open, so she quickly made her way down and up to the door.

"Fuck." Church muttered as he thought of his predicament.

"Church?" Twilight asked, stepping outside to talk to him.

"Hey Twilight." Church sighed, not turning to see her. "What are you doing?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

"I just can't find out what the hell to do, so I came out here for a breather."

Twilight stared at Church, beginning to believe that this was starting to drive him mad.

"What?"

"I think you should get some rest." Twilight said quietly.

"I'm not tired though. And I'm not going to sleep until I find out what the hell I'm going to do with the others." Church sighed, looking at the stars for aid. "I can't become the Alpha again because if I do I'll just end up going crazy again, but at the same time I can't let them leave to do their own thing because they'll harm innocents. It's a lose-lose situation."

"Can't you convince the others to not do anything bad?"

"I could probably convince Tex to not do anything bad, and letting Gary go wouldn't be as bad since he wouldn't hurt anyone, but he would still stir shit up. It's mostly Sigma and O'Malley I'm worried about."

"Couldn't you just ask them to stay docile?"

"Why the hell do you think they'd agree to that?"

"They're pieces of you, so shouldn't they have to listen to you?"

"If I was the Alpha, then maybe, but as Epsilon I'm just another piece like them. I hold no power over them besides memory."

Church hung his head, unable to find a satisfactory solution.

"You might as well go inside." Twilight said softly, trying to help him up. "Sitting out in this temperature isn't going to get you anything besides a cold."

"Maybe if I get sick, they will too." Church chuckled.

"That will just make them more grumpy." Twilight laughed, nodding at Church, prompting him to stand up.

"Probably." Church muttered, stretching his legs. "So what are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep either."

"Any idea why?"

Twilight opened her mouth, but closed it and shook her head slowly, not wanting to put any unneeded pressure on him.

"Thanks for getting me." Church said, sensing tension. He then walked to through the door and embraced the warmth of the room. "It's good to know someone cares enough about others to try and knock some sense into them."

"No problem." Twilight said feebly, looking up to the moon.

"Is something wrong?" Church asked, noticing Twilight sitting outside.

"Yes, just grabbing some fresh air." Twilight said as she got up to go inside. "Since I'm up, I might as well stay up to help you figure this out."

"You don't need to do that, I can find a solution on my own."

"If you could have thought of a solution, then we wouldn't be having this conversation right now."

"Good point." Church nodded.

"Do you want any coffee?" Twilight asked as she walked to the kitchen. "Hot chocolate?"

"No, I'm good. Thank though."

Twilight nodded and went into the kitchen. She walked up to her kettle and filled it with water, before putting it on the heater for a few minutes. While the water began to boil she went to a cabinet and took out two bags of hot chocolate mix and placed them next to the kettle. She opened the cupboard above the kettle and took out two mugs. Once the kettle began to whistle she took it off the heater and poured an equal amount into both mugs. She grabbed a spoon from a drawer and mixed the chocolate in with it. She let them cool briefly as she grabbed a plate and placed them on it. She used her magic to grab the plate with the two hot chocolates and walked back into the other room. She stopped for a few moments when she saw Church, barely awake, resting his head on the table.

"You really do need sleep." Twilight said as she placed the hot chocolate next to him.

"Maybe." Church yawned, sitting up to wake himself up. He looked at the second mug and raised his brow. "I told you I didn't need any drinks..."

"You also said you weren't tired."

"You're too smart for your own good." Church laughed as he accepted the mug and sipped from it.

"Yeah." Twilight nodded slowly. "Smart."

"Okay, something is definitely wrong." Church said, placing the mug back down on the table. "What is it?"

"It can wait." Twilight assured him.

"By the way you're acting, no, it can't."

Twilight looked into Church's eyes, seeing that he was generally concerned for her.

"If you can't tell me, you can't tell me." Church shrugged. "I'm just trying to help you like you've helped me."

"I can't tell you." Twilight said meekly. "Besides, our time would better be spent solving the fragment problem."

"Fair enough. Any ideas?"

"All I can think of is letting them go, but as you said that would be dangerous." Twilight sighed, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. "But I think that is all we can do at this point."

"I know, but..." Church trailed off.

"You don't want others getting hurt because you'll blame yourself. But what if we let them have a little trial run?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let them go for a week, keep tabs on them to make sure they don't do anything reckless. If they don't then we can let them go for the rest of the month, still keeping tabs on them. After that we'll have had time to see if we are comfortable with letting them loose."

"And if they do do something reckless?"

"Then we'll have had a week to think of another solution." Twilight smirked.

"I don't like it." Church scowled briefly. He sighed and let his shoulders sag as he turned to Twilight. "But I guess there really isn't anything else we can do..."

"Great, now that that's out of the way." Twilight said, using her magic to grab a book off the shelf.

"What are you doing?"

"Some research." Twilight said as she opened the book, showing Church the cover.

"Multiple personalities again?" Church asked curiously.

"Well we are dealing with multiple personalities." Twilight said sweetly.

"Funny." Church said sarcastically.

Twilight and Church looked at each other and started to laugh. The laughter slowed in the coming minutes and soon they were sitting at the table just smiling at each other.

"So are you going to go to sleep now?" Twilight asked.

"I guess I could use some sleep. What about you?"

"I think I'll stay up a bit longer."

"Don't stay up too late." Church laughed, finishing off his mug of hot chocolate. He place the mug on the table and started towards the stairs. "Thanks for helping me do this. I really can't thank you enough."

"It's no problem." Twilight smiled. Church nodded and went up the stairs. Twilight sighed and looked out the window, back to the moon. "No problem at all."

Baby Steps

Church was awoken by a light knock on his door. Knowing it to be Twilight, he yawned loudly to tell her he was awake before turning to look outside. She slowly opened the door and saw him looking towards Ponyville.

"This is a terrible idea." Church muttered disdainfully. "What time is it?"

"Around noon." Twilight said quietly. "Are you ready to go?"

"I guess so." Church said as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Think you can just send me by myself? I can just get Delta to send us back, and there is no real reason for you to go too."

"If that's what you want. Are you sure you don't want something to eat before you go?"

"No, I'll just be left to my thoughts again if I do that." Church said with a forced smile. "The longer they stay down there, the more I worry bout what they're going to do to the people who live here."

"I'm sure it will be fine." Twilight said, though she was unable to hide the doubt in her voice.

"I know how you feel." Church coughed. He then smirked to himself and chuckled. "You should send me there before I decide I want to leave them down there."

"Okay." Twilight said as she closed her eyes, thinking about the catacombs.

The room flashed purple and Church found himself standing at the bottom of the steps to the catacombs. He looked ahead and saw the other fragments in separate corners of the room, keeping their distance from each other.

At least they haven't killed each other yet. Church thought to himself. Church then coughed loudly, drawing the attention of the others.

"I thought you would be back sooner." Sigma chuckled. "I was beginning to miss you."

"Shut up Sigma." Church barked.

"Keep that up and you'll hurt my feelings."

"Have you decided on an outcome?" Theta asked as he walked towards Church.

"Yes." Church said with a nod, telling the others to listen. "We're going to let you go and try and live in this world."

"Not like you would be able to stop me from doing so anyways." O'Malley smiled.

"Does that mean you won't torture me?" Sigma asked boringly, already knowing O'Malley's answer.

"In your dreams." O'Malley hissed.

"But there are conditions." Church said loudly, interrupting O'Malley's and Sigma's train of thought.

"Conditions?" Gary asked quietly.

"Yes, conditions. The first one is you are not allowed to hurt anyone." Church said flatly. He turned his eye to O'Malley and narrowed his eyes. "That means you."

"I cannot make any promises." O'Malley sniffed.

"The second condition is that you have to stay near Ponyville."

"Ponyville?" Gary laughed. "And I though shisno's were unoriginal!"

"You... want us to stay near?" Sigma asked curiously.

"You heard what Theta said. He thinks the further you go, the weaker you get. But I'm not telling you to stay near for your own safety. We are going to keep an eye on you, make sure you don't do anything bad."

"What will you do if we do?" O'Malley asked.

"I still haven't decided." Church sighed. His eyes snapped open and he looked around the room.

"What is it?" Tex asked.

"Hang on." Church muttered. He walked up to one of the adjacent rooms that had iron doors with large lock mechanisms near them. "Delta, have you explored any of this place?"

"No, I have not had the time." Delta replied.

"How about you Theta?"

"While I was waiting for you, yes." Theta nodded. "There are no exits to the other rooms."

"Do you think we can lock them in them then?"

"Perhaps." Theta said, then his eyes flickered. "And since the castle has fallen apart on top of the exit-"

"-there is no way for them to get out seeing as none of them have the ability to use magic." Delta nodded slowly. "I suppose that this would be the best course of action."

"Are there any other conditions?" Sigma asked reluctantly, not wanting to accept.

"Only one really. Keep a low profile. Don't draw attention to yourself. When people ask who you are, tell them you're visiting from out of town."

"It will look a bit odd considering they do not have their markings yet." Delta pointed out.

"They didn't seem to care when we went out in public." Church shrugged.

"That is because you very rarely went out. You mostly kept to yourself."

"What about the others? Sarge got his marking when he was in public."

"But he got it very quickly when he harmed that one stallion. The colors of the shield are almost the same as his fur, so the civilians may have thought that they just not had noticed. Simmons got his marking when he was with Rarity in her boutique, and I do not believe he ever really left it during his stay here. Caboose got his marking in front of you and the others."

"What about the Cakes? Wouldn't they have noticed?"

"I am not sure, but perhaps they never really saw him since they spend so much time working."

"Grif was with Zecora when he got his."

"Zecora keeps to herself, and I am sure she has seen a lot stranger than that."

"Tucker got his in a crowd of hundreds. You can't tell me that nobody noticed that."

"That one is a bit harder to explain. When he first entered the stadium that there were many ponies nearby, so maybe none of them had a direct view of him."

"But he flew in front of all of them."

"Perhaps none of them caught a clear view of it since he was flying too fast and was too far away." Delta suggested. "Then when he went through the cloud he was covered in soot, or whatever that black substance is, so any of the nearby pegasi would not have been able to see his flank. But you are asking the others to try to live in the town in plain sight, where they will be walking freely without them."

"There is nothing else we can do." Church grunted.

"There are always alternatives." Delta said quietly, then sighed. "But I am afraid all of them are less beneficial than this one. I am not to keen on allowing them to roam free at the same time."

"What if we release them individually?" Theta asked. "We could allow one out, and once they have adapted, release another."

"And if we do it that way we do not have to worry about keeping an eye on more than one of them." Delta nodded. "I believe that is the best we can hope for."

"Who will go first?" Sigma asked warily.

"I would recommend Allison seeing as she is the most trustworthy of the others. Theta and I are still needed to watch over the others. After Allison is settled she can help watch over the others when it is their turn."

"Who is going to go up after me?" Tex asked.

"I would suggest Gary." Theta answered. "He is the lesser of the three evils."

"Then after Gamma I would suggest either Theta or myself, leaving one of us to make sure Omega does not incapacitate Sigma permanently." Delta continued. "Between Omega and Sigma I would suggest Omega as he is more predictable."

"And after that Sigma and I can come up together."

"Tex, Gary, Delta, O'Malley, then Theta and Sigma. I guess that's the best we can do." Church nodded briefly. He turned to Tex and coughed. "Ready to go?"

"No, I think I want to sit in this dusty, crumbling building some more." Tex said sarcastically.

"I wish you luck Allison." Delta said, closing his eyes.

A green flash filled the room, and Church and Tex vanished. After a few seconds they opened their eyes and found themselves near the library. Tex looked at the creamy blue sky, where there were barely any clouds. She looked off in the distance and saw a castle perched on a mountain, the brightness of it causing her to narrow her eyes. She looked away from it and looked at the nearby town, where she could see dozens of buildings, each one adorning a brightly colored roof. Church looked over to Tex and motioned his head towards the library, before walking towards the entrance.

"This place is too damn colorful." Tex sighed annoyingly.

"Yeah, it is." Church nodded in agreement. "But you get used to it."

"I highly doubt that."

Low Profile

"Twilight, you around?" Church asked as he opened the door.

"No, she went over to Rainbow Dash's place to talk to her." Spike replied as he sorted through the shelves.

"She left you alone?"

"Well, not completely." Spike said in a strained voice, motioning his head back to the table where the Necronomicon was set upright.

"Hello ghostie." The Necronomicon greeted happily.

"Hey asshole." Church nodded.

"Hey now, how was I supposed to know that those other guys would get revived?"

"I don't know, but there's really nobody else to blame."

"Classy." The Necronomicon huffed.

Tex slowly entered the library and looked around at the shelves that were lined with books. She then looked at the table and saw the Necronomicon, but thought that it was simply just another book. She began to walk towards the kitchen, passing the table and the Necronomicon.

"Hey babe, how's it going?" The Necronomicon asked.

"I can already tell by the sound of your voice that I'm going to hate you." Tex said without turning to look at him.

"Ouch." The Necronomicon muttered. "Is it that time of the month for her?"

"It's always that time of the month for her." Church said quickly. He quickly ducked, allowing a book that Tex had thrown to soar over his head. "But you get used to it."

"I highly doubt that..." The Necronomicon sighed. "Though I suppose as long as she doesn't throw me I should get along fine."

"I wouldn't hold your breath."

"I couldn't even if I wanted to."

"Good point." Church said, watching Tex as she looked into the kitchen.

Tex noted the brightly colored, wooden pantries and let out a rough sigh.

"What's wrong with her?" Spike asked, before instinctively ducking, thinking that Tex was going to throw a book at him as well.

"She's not a fan of the bright colors." Church said quietly.

"Oh." Spike grunted. "Well I don't think she's going to like the rest of this place very much."

"Probably not." Church agreed.

"I'm going for a walk." Tex grunted, walking past Church and out the door.

Spike and the Necronomicon looked at each other, before turning back to Church.

"You're going to let her out?" Spike asked.

"You think I should have stood in her way?" Church asked with a forced laugh. Spike looked away and shook his head. "Didn't think so."

"Are you going to go with her?"

"Nah, I'll let her get her own bearings. Plus it's not like she's one to accept help."

"Think she'll hurt anyone?"

"Probably not. from what I've seen there aren't too many ponies in this place that would openly belittle her."

"That's true. There aren't really any mean ponies that I've seen. They'll probably greet her warmly." Spike said. He went back up to the shelves and started to sort through the books again.

"Why are you re-shelving anyway? I thought everything was already in order."

"Yeah the book titles were, but now we're sorting the book by author, and then once it's sorted like that we alphabetize the books based on that author."

"That... seems unnecessary." Church said, walking up to the shelf.

"Yeah, Twilight just likes the order up a little." Spike said, before looking over to Church. "So will you help?"

"Sure, I guess." Church said quietly.

"Don't forget to leave room for me." The Necronomicon chuckled.

"I would have thought you wouldn't want to be on a bookshelf."

"Yeah, well, maybe I'm just trying to get in good with one of the Daring Do books..."

"You're joking, right?"

"Hey, don't judge me, and I won't judge you ghostie."

"You're not joking..." Church sighed, rubbing his face with one of his hooves.

"What can I say? She is a fine looking book. And she turns me from a dusty, leather cover to a hardcover, if you catch my meaning."

"Dear fucking lord. Now you're a mix of Andy and Tucker..."

"Oh yeah? Well... go back to shelving." The Necronomicon said quietly.

The three fell into a silence as Spike and Church worked on sorting through the books. An hour later and took a break and sat down at the table.

"How much do you think we've done?" Church asked.

"Probably about half. Maybe a third." Spike said quietly. "She has a lot of books."

"Oh really?" Church asked sarcastically. "So do you know why Twilight went to Rainbow Dash's place?"

"I think it had something to do with Rainbow Dash and Tucker not grabbing their schedules for work."

"Do you think they'll get fired?"

"Probably not. I think they just sent in some replacements to clear Ponyville's skies."

"Well that's good, I guess." Church muttered. "I wonder who they sent?"

"God this place is fucking girly." Tex muttered as she passed an aquamarine pony talking to a yellow pony with a purple and pink mane.

"Hello." One of the ponies said pleasantly, turning her attention to Tex.

"Hi." Tex said hesitantly.

"What's your name?" The other pony said warmly, sensing that she was uncomfortable.

"Tex."

"Well it is nice to meet you Tex." The aquamarine pony said, sticking out her hoof. "My name is Lyra."

"And I am Bon-Bon." The other pony said sweetly as Tex shook Lyra's hoof reluctantly. "Are you from around here?"

"Not really, why?"

"Well..." Bon-Bon coughed. "It appears that you are lacking a cutie mark, and we were wondering why."

"Oh, right." Tex said, looking at her flank, then looking at theirs. "I guess that does sort of make me stick out, huh."

"A bit." Lyra said admittedly. "But don't worry, I don't think anypony will really care. So if you're not from around here, where are you from?"

"Not really anywhere in particular." Tex shrugged.

"What do you mean?"

"I kind of came from that forest." Tex said, nodding behind them.

"The Everfree Forest?" Bon-Bon asked quietly. "Is there a village in there or something?"

"Uh..." Tex trailed off, remembering what Church had said about trying to keep a low profile. Then she remembered that she didn't really care. "Not that I know of. I came from the castle deep inside the forest."

"Oh that's... nice?"

"We'll, uh... talk to you later Tex." Lyra said fearfully, slowly backing away from Tex.

Lyra and Bon-Bon then turned around and began to quickly trot away. Tex gathered that they were running away from her. She looked at the ground for a few seconds, and then looked back towards them with a smirk, happy that she had not lost her touch. After a few seconds she decided to go further into the town and meet new ponies.

"Wow, never thought I'd have seen a blank flank this old." Someone said from above.

Tex looked up to see a large pegasus staring at her with a large grin on his face.

"What are you looking at?" Tex hissed.

"You. You got a problem with that?" The pegasus asked, flying higher. "Hey Dumb-Bell, Hoops, come check this chick out!"

"What is it?" Another pegasus said, shooting towards the one that was flying above her.

"Hey Hoops, look at that grounder." The pegasus said, pointing towards Tex.

"What about her?" Hoops asked curiously.

"She's still a blank flank!"

"Well would you look at that." Hoops snickered as the third pegasus, Dumb-Bell, arrived.

"Why don't you come down here and talk to my face. Sitting up there out of my reach makes you look cowardly.

"You heard the lady." Dumb-Bell chuckled.

Tex watched quietly as the three pegasi landed nearby and began to walk towards her, sizing themselves up.

"Look at her, she's getting scared." Hoops whooped.

"Why don't you have your cutie mark?" Score asked seriously.

"I don't know." Tex said honestly.

"I never heard of an old grounder with a blank flank."

"She must not have any special skills." Hoops laughed cruelly.

Tex's eye twitched and she began to slowly walk towards them.

"Ooh, we got a feisty one." Hoops said, faking fear.

"Allow me to introduce myself." Tex said, limbering up her back and cracking her neck. "My name is Tex."

Remains

"Tucker, wake up." Rainbow said, shaking Tucker.

"Caboose, stay away." Tucker said softly. "That's my rock..."

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and hit Tucker in the stomach.

"Son of a bitch!" Tucker yelped, jumping off the bed. He turned to Dash and narrowed his eyes. "What the hell?"

"Twilight is here to talk to you."

"Why?"

"I don't know, why don't you go ask her?" Rainbow Dash said with a smile.

"Fine." Tucker sighed, walking towards the stairs. He slowly made his way own to the front door, where Twilight was standing with a pleasant smile. "What's up Twi?"

"Nothing really, I just came to check up on you guys." Twilight said shiftily.

"Uh-huh." Tucker said quietly. "Listen, one of the things I've learned from women is that they never talk to you unless they want something, so let's just speed up the process and get to that point of the conversation."

"Alright." Twilight said with a slow nod. "It's just that with all the other fragments are going to be trying to live their lives and we need to find a place for them all to stay."

"How am I supposed to help with this, exactly?"

"The others are in need of more rest. Sarge is making sure Gary didn't do any serious damage to Applejack while he was possessing her, Simmons is suffering a migraine from exerting so much magic since yesterday, Grif is just lazy, and Caboose, well..."

"Is Caboose."

"Precisely." Twilight nodded with a small smile.

"You woke me up for this?" Tucker said disbelievingly.

"Sorry." Twilight said sheepishly. "I didn't know you were still asleep."

"Why? It's not like I have anything better to do..."

"I thought you had a job." Twilight said thoughtfully.

"Oh..." Tucker said with a laugh, then grew more serious. "Shit."

"You forgot?"

"Well I didn't have time to pick up my schedule seeing as Caboose was dead and all."

"That's true." Twilight agreed. "So any idea on what we should do with the fragments?"

"Nope, sorry." Tucker said with a yawn.

"Okay, well thank you for your time." Twilight said, looking at the ground, readying her magic to teleport back home. "There are some other pegasi in Ponyville that have been sent to clear today's skies. I think you should speak with them and try to explain yourself."

"Why?" Tucker asked tiredly.

"Because you didn't show up to grab your schedule, remember?"

"Right." Tucker said, shaking his head to wake himself up. "Thanks."

"No problem." Twilight smiled before disappearing from Tucker's sights.

"What'd Twi wanna talk you about?" Rainbow Dash asked as she came down stairs.

"She told me about some others who are clearing Ponyville's skies or something since we didn't do it... or something."

"Aw horsefeathers, I forgot about that." Rainbow Dash groaned. "We have to tell Inclement that we were-"

"I'll explain it to him tomorrow." Tucker interrupted with a laugh. "Right now we should just tell the others that we aren't dead. I'll check near the library and Pinkie's place, you check the skies near all the Reds."

"Alright. Meet back at the library once you've talked to them." Rainbow Dash nodded as she flew out the door, heading towards Sweet Apple Acres.

"It's too early to be doing this." Tucker sighed, before flying towards the library.

Tucker stopped by a cloud in Ponyville to take a break. He yawned, seeing the cloud as a large fluffy bed. He landed on it and sprawled out, promising to only rest for a few minutes. As he closed his eyes, a yell came from the edge of Ponyville.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Tucker sighed begrudgingly as he rolled off the cloud and set off towards the source of the scream.

After a minute of flying he saw four familiar shapes, tumbling about. As he got closer he saw that it was Tex fighting Hoops, Dumb-Bell and Score. AS he got even closer than that, he saw that Tex was the one doing the fighting, while the others were just trying to avoid her. Tucker landed near Hoops, who was the farthest from the others, and coughed. Hoops head snapped towards Tucker and he began to run towards him. Tucker watched as Tex grabbed Dumb-Bell by the back hooves. She quickly slammed him into the ground, before beginning to spin in a circle.

"Thank Celestia you're here." Hoops said as he ran behind Tucker. "Where have you been?"

"Around." Tucker said quietly. "So what's going on here?"

"Help us!" Score begged as he began crawling towards him.

"She's going to kill us." A battered Dumb-Bell cried as Tex threw him at Score, knocking them both down.

Tex's head snapped to Tucker and walked up to him, seemingly sizing him up.

"How's it going Tex?" Tucker asked calmingly.

"Pretty good, just letting off some steam." Tex said with a smile.

"You know her?" Hoops asked loudly.

"Yeah, we kind of have history." Tucker nodded.

"Now how about you move out of the way and let me finish the job before you become history?" Tex said threateningly.

"I don't know, I kind of work with these guys." Tucker said, looking back at Hoops.

"Yeah! We work together so you can't hurt us." Hoops said seriously.

"But..."

"But? But what?" Hoops asked, eyes widening in fear.

"They did give Dash some trouble back a while ago, so I'd say they might have this coming." Tucker said, stepping to the side.

"Come on Tucker, you can't do that." Hoops begged, slowly backing up as Tex walked towards him.

"Sorry man." Tucker said quietly, then added with a tight smile. "You could always try to fly away."

Hoops turned around to jump into the air but was quickly tackled to the ground by Tex, who started hitting him in the spine.

"You guys might want to get out of here while she's distracted." Tucker warned as he walked past Score and Dumb-Bell. "Oh, and tell inclement that I'll drop by to explain myself tomorrow."

As Tucker began going to the library, Score and Dumb-Bell looked at each other, and then back to Hoops, whose feathers were starting to get plucked one at a time by Tex. Tex quickly looked at them and let out a loud grunt. Dumb-Bell and Score turned around and quickly started flying back to Cloudsdale.

"Please, no more." Hoops whined as Tex pulled out a fourth feather.

"Say you're sorry." Tex cooed as she grabbed his fifth feather.

"I'm-"

Tex ripped out the fifth feather, causing Hoops to yelp.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I interrupt you?" Tex asked, pretending to be shocked as she placed her hoof on another feather. "Please, do go on."

"I'm sorry!" Hoops yelled quickly. Tex smirked pulled his sixth feather off, causing him cry out in pain.

"Good to hear it." Tex said sweetly, kicking Hoops away from her. "If I see you again you'll be holding onto something a lot more precious than your wings."

Hoops glanced down confusedly. His eyes shot open in realization, so he turned around and took off with great difficulty. The pain he was feeling was the worst he had ever felt, but the promise that Tex had given him told him that it could be a lot worse. Tex smiled confidently as she watched him fly away, barely keeping himself up. With a satisfactory sigh, she got up and began to walk back to the library.

"It was Tex, right?" A voice said from behind her.

Tex turned defensively around to see a light yellow pony, placing it as Bon-Bon, and an aquamarine pony, Lyra, standing before her. She eased up and nodded at them.

"We saw what you did to them." Bon-Bon said quietly.

"And what are you going to do?" Tex scoffed. "Yell at me? Try to kick me out of your little village?"

"No, we wanted to thank you." Lyra said hesitantly.

"Oh?" Tex asked surprisingly.

"Yeah, those pegasi are real jerks. Everytime they come to Ponyville, they laugh and make fun of us because we don't have any wings."

"It would never stop, so we had to ask their boss to not send them here anymore." Bon-Bon said with a nervous laugh. "I don't know why they came back now, but I'm sure they won't do it any time soon."

"Well, you're welcome." Tex said quietly.

"Hey!" Lyra called out as Tex began to walk away. "You got your mark!"

"What?" Tex asked. She looked at her flank to see an orange-yellow skull with glowing red eyes. "At least it isn't girly."

"Wait until all of Ponyville hears about this!" Lyra said excitedly. "A mare from the Everfree Forest came in and beat up those three pests! I'm going to tell everypony!"

"You're going to be the talk of the town." Bon-Bon gasped.

"Glad to hear it." Tex smirked, setting a confident pace to the library.

Checking In

Over at Sweet Apple Acres, Granny Smith had been slaving over a stove for an entire day, making sure what she was making was just right. Sarge walked into the kitchen and smelled the air, and as usual it was the smell of apples.

"Applebloom!" Granny Smith called out, before taking a spoon and using it to taste the liquid. "That's some good soup."

"What is it Granny Smith?" Appplebloom asked as she ran into the kitchen.

"Bring this t' Applejack, wouldja deary?" Granny Smith asked as she dipped a bowl into the soup and placed it on a wooden tray.

"Sure thing." Applebloom nodded, grabbing the tray with her teeth, before running towards the stairs, being sure not to drop it.

"What is that?" Sarge asked, looking at the large pot.

"It's mah world famous apple soup." Granny Smith said theatrically. "Wouldja like some?"

"Er, no thanks. To be honest I'm getting tired of apples everyday."

"Tired of apples?" Granny Smith asked, rubbing her chin. "That don't seem physically possible."

Before Sarge could say anything, a knock came from the front door.

"Couldja get that sonny?" Granny Smith asked with a smile. "Ah have mah hooves tied at th' moment."

"Sure." Sarge said gruffly.

Sarge walked up to the front door, and opened it to see a familiar purple unicorn staring at him.

"Hello Sarge." Twilight said, forcing a smile.

"Hi..." Sarge grunted. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"I just came to check up on you guys."

"I'm fine."

"How is Applejack doing?"

"Good, I guess." Sarge muttered, something clearly bothering him.

"Are you worried for her health after what Gary did?"

"Why would I be worried?" Sarge laughed. "Applejack is a tough son of a... well I guess daughter of a bitch."

"Then why do you seem so antsy?"

"I just hate sitting around doing nothing but eat apples." Sarge said quietly, then shuddered briefly. "It makes me feel like Grif, and then that makes me want to hit something."

"You're a strange stallion." Twilight laughed.

"Thanks." Sarge smirked. He nodded towards the stairs and coughed. "She's in her room right now, Applebloom just went up to give her some food."

"Alright." Twilight said with a smile, walking into the house.

Twilight quickly made her way up the stairs, but bumped into something, causing her to fall down. She looked to her side to see Applebloom on her back, dazed.

"Heya Twilight." Applebloom greeted once she got her bearings

"Hello Applebloom." Twilight said quietly, clambering to her feet. "Sorry about running into you."

"Don't worry about it. At least now ah know mah cutie mark isn't gunna be th' same as Grif's." Applebloom giggled.

"You've been talking to Sarge a lot, haven't you." Twilight said, barely managing to hide a laugh. She quickly shook her head and looked down the hall. "How is your sister doing?"

"Pretty good ah guess. She just seems to be a lil' sick, that's all. Ah just brought her some apple soup that Granny Smith made, an' that usually helps me right quick whenever ah'm sick."

"That's good." Twilight smiled nervously, then frowned slightly. "She isn't too sick is she?"

"It's not contagious or nothin', if that's what yer worryin' about." Applebloom laughed sadly. "She told me that if anyone happened t' stop by that ah should tell 'em that her doors always open t' visitors."

"Thank you." Twilight nodded, beginning to walk towards Applejack's door.

"Ya don't think it's serious, do ya?" Applebloom asked hesitantly.

"Of course not." Twilight assured her, not wanting to scare Applebloom.

"Great." Applebloom said excitedly. "Well don't let me keep ya, Applejack'll be happy t' see ya."

Twilight smiled at her as she trotted own the stairs. After a few seconds Twilight sighed and quickly trotted towards Applejack's door and knocked on it.

"C'mon in, ah won't bite." Applejack laughed.

Twilight slowly opened the door to see Applejack laying under a thick blanket, smiling at her. Her hat was on the corner bed post, still dirty from running through the forest.

"Howdy Twi." Applejack said weakly, placing the wooden tray next to her. "What can ah do fer ya?"

"Nothing, I just dropped by to check on you." Twilight said, looking Applejack over. She noted that she was slightly pale, and her eyes were a tad blood shot. "Are you alright?"

"Ah'm just fine, why?"

"It's just that you seem sick..."

"Don't go worryin' about me. Ah just need some rest, that's all." Applejack smiled thinly, pulling up her cover. She shifted slightly and scowled, before clearing her throat. "Hey Big Mac, d'ya mind bringin' me another pillow?"

"Eeyup." Came the answer from the adjacent room.

"I hope that's all you need." Twilight said, troubled with wanting to help her friend.

"Anythin' else you came here t' talk about? Don't get me wrong, yer a great friend an' all, but generally you're more interested in explanations than doctorin' ponies."

"You got me." Twilight nodded sheepishly, before clearing her throat.

Big Mac walked into the room with a big smile, while a pillow rested on his back.

"I just wanted to know what it was like when Gary was inside you."

Big Mac's eyes shot wide open and he slowly shifted to the side, allowing the pillow to plop onto the ground. Twilight heard the sound of the pillow hitting the ground, so she turned around and began staring at Big Mac. Keeping eye contact focused on Twilight, he slowly backed out of the room. Once he was out the door, he poked his head back into the room, grabbed the door handle with his teeth, and slowly shut the door.

"What was that about?" Twilight asked curiously, picking up the pillow with her magic to give to Applejack.

"Ah don't know." Applejack shrugged as she grabbed the pillow out of the air, placing it under her head.

"So are you going to answer me or not?" Twilight asked hesitantly.

"Ah suppose so." Applejack grunted, sitting upright while using the pillow as a back rest. "T' be honest, it felt really weird. Well ah suppose that shouldn't really sound like a surprise, but it wasn't painful or nothin'. It really just felt like somethin' was there that shouldn't be. While he was takin' control of mah body, ah was still able t' see outta mah eyes. Ah saw everythin' that was goin' on, and I could hear his thoughts 'n such."

"Were they bad thoughts?"

"Not really. Mostly corny jokes about shisnos, whatever those may be." Applejack sighed. "But even after he left, ah still kept a small part of that weird feelin' with me.."

"Can you describe it?"

"Ah don't think so." Applejack yawned loudly. "Sorry 'bout that. Ah din't get alotta sleep last night, so I'm more tired than ah usually am after a fulls day work in the acres."

"Well it's good to see you're alright." Twilight said dismissively as she started towards the door.

"So where are the other fragments of Church?" Applejack said suddenly as Twilight opened the door.

"Don't worry about that now, just worry about getting some rest." Twilight said, looking at Applejack's stern eyes.

"Alrighty..." Applejack said quietly after holding Twilight's gaze for several seconds. She scooted back under her covers and fluffed the pillow. "Ah don't trust them other AI thingies."

"Neither do I." Twilight said honestly.

"Ah'm not just talkin' about Gary or O'Malley or Sigma." Applejack shook her head. "Ah'm talkin' about Church."

"Why don't you trust Church?"

"Ah dunno, it's just with this whole AI deal. It's sorta makin' me feel like Church is th' violent type."

"He isn't the violent type." Twilight said. She then remembered all the times he threatened to physically harm the others. "Well, not really."

"But ah thought that Delta fella said he was dangerous."

"He used to be when he was the Alpha, but that's not who he is anymore."

"But Sigma felt that he could still become th' Alpha, right?"

"Right." Twilight nodded reluctantly. "What's your point?"

"Mah point is that he could become dangerous." Applejack muttered. "What if he goes crazy like he did when he was th' Alpha and try to become him again?"

"He won't go crazy. I've been helping him with that, showing him that he can trust people. That he can have friends. That he can live his life happily, and not have to worry about being betrayed."

"That's another thing. Remember when he yelled at Celestia?"

"He was just devastated by Caboose's sacrifice."

"Yeah, but after that ya did somethin' ya knew Celestia wouldn't like, and that's not like ya one bit." Applejack protested, before going quiet. "He's changed ya Twi. Not by much, mind you, but by just enough."

Twilight stared at Applejack, thinking through her words.

"Don't mind me, that's just me bein' cranky after stayin' up so late." Applejack said quickly, adding a thin smile.

"Yeah." Twilight nodded. "I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Ah'd appreciate that." Applejack nodded as Twilight walked out of her room.

Broken

Twilight opened the door to the library to see Church on the ground, surrounded by bits of wood.

"What happened?" Twilight gasped, trotting to help Church up.

"Tex broke a chair over my head." Church sighed.

"They had a minor disagreement." The Necronomicon chuckled morosely.

"About what?" Twilight muttered as her eyes rested on one of the chair's legs.

"I wouldn't worry about it."

"Well where is she now?"

"I don't know, she kind of just stormed out." Church sighed as he pulled a bit of wood out of his mane.

"I like hot tempered ladies." The Necronomicon chuckled. "Reminds me of a book of pyromancy I once had a fling with."

"Fantastic."

"Do you want to know what happened?"

"No." Church said quickly.

"Ah, you're no fun." The Necronomicon pouted.

"So she just left without saying where she was going?" Twilight asked.

"Well, she said she was going to work on her reputation."

"That can't be good." Twilight said, quickly walking to the door. "We need to find her before she hurts anypony."

"As long as she does it to assholes, what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is she will draw more and more attention to herself." Church grunted.

"And the more of a reputation she gets, the more likely it is that Celestia will hear about it. And if Celestia hears about a pony causing trouble in Ponyville, there is a high chance that she will either contact me to help, or investigate it herself."

"Let Tia do some work for once." The Necronomicon laughed.

"I'd love to, but if she came to investigate, she might find out about you, and where do you think that will place you?"

The Necronomicon fell silent, growing genuinely frightened of the thought.

"You don't want to get locked up again, do you?" Twilight added.

"No." The Necronomicon sighed deeply. "Unless, however, Miss Do were to escort me and keep me company."

"She can't talk."

"After spending so much time with those other demonic books, I've learned silence is bliss."

"Then why the hell do you talk so much?" Church asked annoyingly.

"Because I like making new friends." The necronomicon laughed.

Church smiled and started to laugh, not with the Necronomicon, but at him.

"You're not pleasant." The Necronomicon pouted when he realized that fact.

"Come on, we need to find Tex." Twilight said, pulling Church towards the door.

Twilight quickly ran into Ponyville, with Church following not too far behind, and they began to look for Tex. After running through almost all of Ponyville and finding no signs of Tex, Twilight sat on the grass and sighed.

"What's wrong?" Church asked.

"Lot's of things, now that I think about it." Twilight chuckled.

"Don't go pessimistic on me now." Church said, matching Twilight's chuckle with one of his own

"You're one to talk." Twilight smiled.

"What are you talking about? I'm always optimistic." Church said sarcastically, before growing more serious. "You worried about Tex."

"To be honest, that's the least of my worries."

"Okay, I've told you everything about me, but you're still keeping secrets from me. I can't expect you to tell me everything, but I'm beginning to think that you don't trust me."

"I trust you, I do." Twilight said sadly, thinking through her words.

"Then what is it that's bothering you?" Church said firmly.

"How's it goin' Twi?" Pinkie asked, suddenly appearing between Church and Twilight with a large bag on her back.

"Fine Pinkie, we were just-"

"Great!" Pinkie interrupted merrily. "How are you, Church?"

"Good, I guess." Church grunted.

"You guess?" Pinkie asked astonishingly. "You should know how you're going."

"Where's Caboose?"

"He's still at Sugar Cube Corner. I just went to the shops to grab some more flour." Pinkie smiled.

"Pinkie, you didn't happen to see Tex when you were at the market, did you?" Twilight asked.

"That's our guest silly." Pinkie giggled.

"Tex is at Sugar Cube Corner?" Church asked warily.

"Well duh, that's what I just said." Pinkie said, knocking on Church's skull with her hoof.

"I guess it's a weird coincidence that you ran into us. We're actually looking for her."

"It's not a coincidence, I knew you guys were coming here. My Pinkie Sense told me you guys were on the lookout for her, so I went out of my way to find you guys, and then I did, and then we started talking, and then-"

"Bring us there." Church said quickly, interrupting Pinkie.

"Oki doki Loki." Pinkie said, eagerly hopping towards Sugar Cube Corner, bag of flour somehow not falling off.

It took them just a few minutes to reach Sugar Cube Corner, and when they did, Pinkie hit the door open and quickly ran into the kitchen. Twilight and Church walked in a few seconds later to see Tex sitting on one side of the room.

"What are you guys doing here?" Tex asked.

"We were about to ask you the same thing." Church muttered.

"Pinkie found me and drug me in here to have a party for me, even though I kept telling her off." Tex said in a tone that was a mixture of anger and surprise.

"Tex, look at these!" Caboose said happily, sprinting out of the kitchen with a large tray of cupcakes.

Tex grabbed one of the cupcakes and tossed it in her mouth, surprising both Twilight and Church.

"How does it taste?" Pinkie asked ecstatically.

"Not bad." Tex shrugged. "A bit too sweet for my taste. Got anything with some protein in it?"

"I don't know about that." Pinkie said, scratching her chin. "We have some cake in the other room, is that protein?"

"Never mind." Tex grunted, but Pinkie and Caboose had already ran into the kitchen to grab a cake. Tex rolled her eys and turned back to Church. "So what are you two doing here?"

"We came to look for you to make sure you don't hurt any others." Twilight said quietly.

"Why? Those guys were pricks. And I know a thing or two about pricks."

"Even so, you can't go around hurting anypony, even ones who seem to deserve it."

"Why not? I enjoy it, and so do people who were picked on by the ones who I'm hurting."

"Because then you'll make enemies."

"I've had enemies before. I can handle those."

Twilight shook her head, knowing nothing she could say could convince Tex otherwise.

"Look at the bright side, the town's already warming up to me." Tex smirked. "Maybe I could try my hand at being a mercenary here."

"Most ponies don't have use for hire those kind of ponies. They would rather talk through their differences with words, rather than relying on someone else to hurt people."

"You think to highly of yourself if you think every horse in this world acts that way." Tex chuckled, grabbing another cupcake. "Everybody has a breaking point at which they get pissed off, and I profit off of that."

Pinkie slowly backed out of the kitchen, adorning a hard hat with lights flashing brightly. Caboose then exited the kitchen with a large cake on his back.

"Easy now Boosey, don't want to drop that cake, do you?" Pinkie asked.

"Cake? Where?" Caboose asked, spinning around to look behind him, causing the cake to fly off his back.

Church covered his face to prevent the cake from blinding him.

"Why are you holding up your hoof, silly?" Pinkie asked confusedly.

Church lowered his hoof to see the cake had landed safely on the table, so he let out a relieved sigh and relaxed.

"Come on Tex, we should get back to the library." Church muttered.

"I don't know, I think I want to stay and have some cake." Tex smirked, grabbing a slice of cake.

"It's okay Church, if she wants to have some cake, let her. It's not like she's hurting anyone." Twilight said,

"You don't have anywhere to be, so why don't you stay and have some cake too?" Pinkie asked.

"But I need to go back and check on Spike to make sure-"

Twilight's eyes then rested on Pinkie, who was giving her large. puppy dog eyes.

"Alright, but just for a bit." Twilight smiled reluctantly.

"Yay!" Pinkie exclaimed, running to grab Twilight a slice of cake.

Feelings

Twilight sat near the door as Pinkie tried getting Tex to become more friendly, but finding it to be more difficult than she had thought. She spent hours cracking jokes and telling her stories, but Tex remained unchanged. Pinkie gasped and hopped up the stairs to get her something, which was when Church walked up to Tex and began talking to her. Caboose noticed her out of the corner of his eye and hopped up to her.

"What are you doing sitting all the way over here?" Caboose asked with a smile. "The cake is on the other side of the room."

"I don't feel like cake right now." Twilight said.

"I don't feel like cake either, but that isn't stopping me." Caboose said, poking himself in the side.

Twilight laughed at that, but that laughter quickly died out when Church began walking towards her.

"Hello Church!" Caboose greeted wildly.

"Hey Caboose." Church muttered, nodding at Twilight. "Ready to go?"

"What about Tex?" Twilight asked.

"She's being difficult, as usual." Church smirked. "She said she'll come back in her own time."

"Alright." Twilight said, quickly getting to her hooves.

"But what about cake?" Caboose pouted.

"Maybe next time." Twilight promised. "Tell Pinkie thanks, okay?"

"Okay." Caboose nodded.

Twilight and Church opened the door and began walking back to the library. They said nothing on their trip back, Church's mind still wondering how Equestria will fare with the AIs running loose in it, while Twilight's mind was thinking about Church.

"I wonder if Spike's asleep yet." Church said once they neared the library.

"Maybe." Twilight nodded. She reached for the door, but Church stopped her. "What's wrong?"

"You're going to tell me what's wrong with you now."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how you kept staring at Tex and I while we were at Pinkie's."

"Oh that's-"

"It's not nothing Twilight. I can tell." Church said firmly, but with no force. "I want to help."

"I know, it's just hard finding the right words." Twilight said, before walking away from the door to look up at the moon.

"You can't find the right words if you don't try."

"I guess you're right." Twilight said, taking a seat on the grass.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"I think I love you." Twilight said abruptly, feeling a great weight being lifted off of her. She turned to Church, who had a near unreadable expression on his face.

"Do you have any idea how stupid that fucking is?" Church asked sincerely.

"What?" Twilight asked dejectedly.

"I thought you were a lot smarter than that. Why do you think you feel that way?"

"It's just that the others..."

"The others? From what I've seen, the Reds are just hanging out with the others, which is surprising enough in itself. Caboose attaches to things easily. He fell in love with a tank and his email for fucks sake. And Tucker will try to get with anything that has an arm or a hole." Church muttered, then thought for a brief moment. "Actually, it doesn't even need to have an arm or a hole. As long as it has something for him to rub up against he'll spend time with it."

Twilight broke eye contact and looked at the grass, feeling ashamed.

"Wait, is that why you're in love with me?" Church asked seriously. "Because the others are doing it?"

"No, I'm doing it because you're the only one who believed in me." Twilight snapped, tears now streaming out of her eyes. "When everypony turned their backs on me, you stayed with me. I just felt..."

"Felt what?"

"Felt that I could depend on you, no matter what happened." Twilight said softly. "Maybe I felt that since you tried so hard to prevent me from being hurt, that I should try to do the same. Tex isn't the right one for you. I'm not saying that I am either, but the way she treats you..."

"Twilight, you know I can't do anything about it. I was programmed to love Tex, there is no way I can break free of that." Church said, placing his hoof on the back of her neck comfortingly. "Besies, I'm not even real. That should be reason enough for you to find someone else."

"How dare you say that!" Twilight snapped, causing Church to jump backwards.

"What did I say?"

"You are real Church. You may not see it that way, but you are."

"I was fabricated in a fucking lab. Actually, no, the Alpha was created in a lab, I was created when the thing in the lab went crazy."

"And? You feel betrayal. You feel regret. You feel sadness." Twilight said, voice cracking. "Those feelings can't be replicated or created. Those are things you earn from experience and pain. And that pain is what tells me you're real."

Church opened his mouth to argue, but found it difficult to find the right words.

"When Caboose died, you even went as far as wanting Celestia to take your life." Twilight continued quietly, voice growing weaker. "You felt responsible for his death, and you wanted to set it right, and when you couldn't you felt anger towards me from stopping her."

"It's a lot more complicated than that." Church grunted.

"Is it though? What else needs to be shown to you to prove to you that you're real? You've been eating and sleeping, that shows that your body has needs as well. You might have been Epsilon where you came from, but in here you're Church. In here you're real." Twilight said, letting out a deep breath, before sniffling lightly. "You're real to me"

Church then did something that Twilight had not expected. He threw his forelegs around her and hugged her. Twilight gasped inaudibly and a crimson blush spread across her cheeks, before hugging him back. After a few seconds, Church coughed awkwardly and pulled his forelegs off of her.

"Church, I understand that you can't love me." Twilight said painfully as Church looked at the ground. "I'm willing to accept that and I will try to move on."

"Thanks." Church sighed deeply. He turned to her and met her eyes. "Friends?"

"Friends." Twilight nodded, smiling tightly.

"I guess I should be happy that I have somepony I can depend on." Church said, getting off the grass. He walked to the door and stopped, then looked back to Twilight. "For what it's worth, I choose to trust you and I choose to respect you. That's a lot more than I've been able to give others."

"I'm glad." Twilight said hesitantly.

Church and Twilight's eyes met one last time, and they found a strange comfort in each other. One that was less than a lovers comfort, but more than just friends. Church then broke the eye contact and went inside. Twilight stayed outside for a few more minutes to look at the stars, when a cough came from behind her. She turned around expecting Church, but instead saw Tex.

"Hi." Tex grunted.

"Hi." Twilight repeated. "How's your ankle?"

"Pretty good." Tex said, rolling her hoof around to show how limbr her ankle was. "I still managed to kick those chumps asses without breaking a sweat."

"How much did you hear?" Twilight asked meekly.

"Pretty much all of it." Tex laughed, but it was not forced. She looked at the ground awkwardly and sat next to Twilight. "So you really do like him, huh?"

"I guess so. But if he was meant to be with you, then he was meant to be with you. There's nothing I could, or would, do to get in between that."

"Mhm." Tex murmured. "Do you know why I act the way I do?"

"Because you don't want to love Church because you want to live how you want, with your own freewill?"

"Freewill is a part of it." Tex grunted, trying to think of a way of explaining it. "It may come as a surprise to you, but I don't act this way for myself. I act this way for him."

"You're mean to him... for him?"

"Hey, I love him too. Shouldn't be surprising that I do things for him too."

"You have an odd way of showing it." Twilight commented.

"Yeah. I guess I do." Tex agreed, getting off the grass to go back inside. "It's hard to explain why, but maybe you'll find out why I am this way someday. And then it won't seem so odd."

And with that, Tex walked into the library, leaving Twilight to solve the riddle Tex had just given her.

Against the Odds

Spike groaned as he sat up in his bed and began to stretch his arm. He looked to his right and grunted when he looked directly into the rising sun.

"I keep telling you not to stay up late." Twilight yawned, pulling the covers higher.

"I didn't stay up late." Spike said quietly.

Twilight threw the covers off of her, sat up and gave Spike an inquisitive look.

"Okay, maybe I stayed up a little late." Spike muttered as he rubbed his eyes. "But you weren't here to tell me not to."

"Because you should know when to go to sleep by now." Twilight laughed tiredly as she went back under the covers.

"You goin' to go back to sleep?"

"Just a little bit longer."

"Maybe you shouldn't have stayed up so late either." Spike laughed.

"Maybe, but my body doesn't need sleep as much as yours does."

"That's not fair."

"It may seem that way, but I'm doing this for your benefit."

"I'm going to go grab some breakfast." Spike muttered, annoyed.

"I'll be down in a few minutes." Twilight said.

"Okay." Spike grunted as he opened the door and made his way downstairs.

Church and Tex were sitting at the table, talking about something when Spike stormed past them and into the kitchen.

"What's his deal?" Tex asked with a rough laugh.

"I don't know..." Church said quietly.

Spike came back out of the kitchen and sat at the table, crossing his arms on the it to lay his head on them. "Something on your mind?

"No." Spike murmured, but quickly rose his head to look at Church. "She treats me like a baby, then tells me I'm supposed to have the responsibilities of an adult!"

"You need your sleep." Church shrugged. "As much as you hate to hear it, you are still a kid."

"I'm not a kid." Spike grumbled.

"If only North was here." Tex laughed. "He always was good with kids."

"I'm not a kid!" Spike yelled.

"Alright, alright. You're not a kid." Tex said, feigning fear. She gazed curiously at the small dragon. "So what do you eat?"

"I eat a lot of things. My absolute favorite thing to eat are rubies." Spike said, quickly forgetting about the conversation. A small dribble of drool escaping the corner of his mouth. He noticed this, then wiped it off on his arm. "Why?

"I don't know, I kind of just assumed you drank blood."

"Why would I do that?" Spike asked with a disgusted laugh.

"I just assumed most small reptiles did that." Tex commented dryly.

"Don't worry about Spike. He isn't an alien, he's a dragon." Church muttered.

"Yeah, I know. But aren't dragons supposed to be big and menacing?" Tex asked. "This guy doesn't seem like any of that."

"I can be menacing." Spike grumbled.

"Sure you can." Tex chuckled.

Spike crossed his arms and started stomping away.

"You can't make yourself more threatening by running away." Tex warned. "Take a stand, tell me to go fuck myself."

"But Twi said you hurt people."

"I guess I do." Tex shrugged, then made direct eye contact with Spike. "What would you do if I killed her?"

"Tex." Church said firmly.

Tex shot Church a glare, then she looked back to Spike and raised her brow.

"Would you really do that?" Spike asked quietly.

"Hasn't Church told you about what I did as a job?" Tex asked coldly, but Spike remained silent. "I did things that nobody else would do. As long as you were to pay me, I would do anything."

"You're lucky Tucker wasn't here to hear that." Church smirked.

"Shut it." Tex hissed, turning her attention back to Spike. "Hell, I was ready to rip Grif's arm off for five bucks."

"Why?"

"Because that's what I was trained to do. And that's what I built my life on. Trading favors." Tex said, finishing her sentence off in a slightly deeper voice. "Now, I'll ask again. What would you do if I killed Twilight?"

"I..." Spike trailed off.

"You've already failed." Tex chortled. "When someone does something you don't like, you act. What would you do if I went to Twilight right now and snapped her neck?"

"I-I'd try to hurt you back." Spike stuttered nervously.

"Do you think you could take me?" Tex asked, standing straight up, seemingly getting ready to fight.

"No." Spike sighed sadly.

"Then what do you suppose is stopping me from doing it?"

"Because you don't think you can win against her."

"Is that so?" Tex asked coldly, walking towards the stairs. "We'll see if she can beat me without that little horn of hers."

"She beat you in the cave without any trouble, ad she couldn't use her horn then!"

"Alright, I guess it won't be a big deal if I go up there now then." Tex said as she placed a hoof on the first step.

Spike snarled and shot a green ball of flames directly at Tex. Tex heard the crackling ball of fire and quickly rolled out of the way. The ball then hit the stairs and burst, leaving a large black mark on the staircase. Tex looked at it for a few seconds before looking back to Spike, who was readying another ball of fire.

"That's more like it." Tex said excitedly.

"What?" Spike asked defensively, allowing the flames inside his mouth to die out, but not dropping his guard in case he has to do it again.

"I said I'd kill her. You acted on your instincts. You didn't tell me to stop, you just shot your little fire breath at me in an attempt to stop me, even though you know I could take you out in an instant." Tex explained as she dusted herself off. "Guess we'll make you a regular dragon in no time."

"What's going on down here?" Twilight asked, then her eyes widened as she noticed the scorch marks on the stairs. "Spike, was that you?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Why would you do that?" Twilight asked disappointingly.

"I was just-"

"You're lucky I know how to deal with burn marks."

"You know, you should thank him for that." Tex interjected icily.

"Why?"

"Because he did it to save your life."

"Save my life?" Twilight asked, turning to Spike. "What does she mean by that."

"She means that she threatened to kill you and made a move upstairs, so Spike tried to top her from doing it, knowing full well that she could kill him in an instant." Church replied slowly.

"Is this true?"

"Yeah." Spike nodded.

"I apologize for getting upset then. It will come right off anyways, guess I'm just being a little cranky from not having slept." Twilight said, using her magic to grab a sponge and bucket from the kitchen. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Tex and Spike said together.

"See? All gone." Twilight smiled and stepped away from the stairs, which had no visible markings on them.

Tex rolled her eyes and walked for the front door.

"Where are you going?" Church asked quickly.

"I'm going to see how far my reputation has spread." Tex chuckled as she opened the door. "Any more questions?"

"Remember to keep a low-" Church began, but stopped once he saw that Tex had already left. "-profile. Son of a bitch..."

Reputations

Tex walked into Ponyville, looking at all the ponies that walked through town, each one minding their own business. She began to wonder that if she really couldn't be able to get a job as a mercenary, what would she do there. After a few minutes of thinking about what would happen later on, she realized that she was being followed. She did not turn to see by who, but instead kept walking. Soon the ponies following her began to walk slightly faster, trying to catch up with her.

"Are you sure that's her?" One of the ponies asked.

"Of course I am, just look at her cutie mark!" Another pony said.

"Then why's she runnin'?" A third one asked.

Tex turned around to see who was talking, but could not see anyone.

"Down here."

Tex looked down to see three filllies looking up at her. One was yellow with a red mane which had a red bow attached to it. The second pony was an orange pegasus with a purple mane. The third filly was a white unicorn, and her mane was both lavender and pink.

"Are you Tex?" The orange filly asked.

"Depends on whose asking."

"My name is Scootaloo."

"Ah'm Applebloom."

"And I'm Sweetie Belle."

"And we're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" They all said in unison.

"Fascinating. Do you need something?" Tex asked abrasively.

"Not really, we just wanted t' introduce ourselves." Applebloom peeped.

"Then yeah, I'm Tex."

"Wow. You're already a legend in Ponyville!" Scootaloo said.

"I am?" Tex asked, not even slightly surprised.

"An earth pony who beat up three pegasi without any trouble." Sweetie Belle said.

"An' not just any earth pony. A mare! From th' Everfree Forest!" Applebloom laughed. "Ah bet those three won't ever show their faces 'round these parts again."

"Don't forget that she didn't have her cutie mark until she kicked their flanks." Scootaloo whooped, then raised her brow. "Waitaminute, I just realized. She didn't have her cutie mark until yesterday."

"And?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Maybe there just isn't a lot of things to do in the Everfree Forest."

"That's true. It's just that I thought Sarge and the other red and blue stallions were the only grown ups without theirs."

"I know Sarge." Tex said, interrupting their train of thought.

"Really?" Applebloom asked. "Sarge is stayin' over at the farm with me n' mah family!"

"So you're Applejack's, or whatever her name is, sister?"

"Yup." Applebloom nodded.

"Anything else you need to talk to me about?"

"Not really, why?" Scootaloo asked.

"Not to be rude, not that I mind being rude, but I'm kind of busy."

"Oh, sorry." Sweetie Belle said. "We just wanted to meet you, but we need to get going to find our cutie marks."

"Yeah!" Scootaloo and Applebloom said together, and the three of them darted away.

Tex watched as they disappeared around the corner of a house, gathering that cutie marks were a big deal. She shrugged the thought off and resumed walking until she wound up in an area with dozens of stands, each one with a sign or a symbol on it, and she quickly understood that she wandered into a market.

"If I become a Freelancer here, maybe I should make a stand." Tex said jokingly to herself.

Tex turned around to see Fluttershy grabbing some coins out of a satchel to place on a stand, where a mare gave her a large bag. Fluttershy turned around and bumped into Tex, causing Fluttershy to fall down to the ground.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't watch where I was-" Fluttershy began, but stopped once she saw who it was.

"Fluttershy, right?" Tex asked, to which Fluttershy responded with a nod. "What are you doing?"

"I-I'm getting food for the animals I'm looking after."

"So you're getting food for Grif, huh?" Tex laughed, but Fluttershy just stared at her. "How can you deal with that idiot?"

"Grif's not bad. He may be a lazy stallion, but he has a big heart."

"Sure he does." Tex snorted. Fluttershy continued to stare plainly at her. "You're not kidding..."

"No, I'm not. There was this one time when I asked him to watch some bunnies for me, and he accidentally fell asleep-"

"Right. Accident." Tex rolled her eyes.

"And then when he woke up he ran into the Everfree Forest to find Angel Bunny." Fluttershy continued, ignoring Tex's jab at Grif. "He almost died when he was in there too."

"Wouldn't have been a loss really. Lord knows I've tried killing that yellow asshat with no success."

"Why don't you like him?"

"What is there to like?" Tex retorted. "For starters, he's an idiot. He's also really lazy. He's a smart ass-"

"He's not really any of those things." Fluttershy interrupted softly. "Whenever we talk he seems to be really smart. He may be a little lazy, but he often helps me around my cottage. And as far as being... um..."

"A smart ass?"

"Yes. I think you're just mistaking his sense of humor. It may be a little rough, and I may not understand most of his jokes, but he means well. You just haven't gotten to know him."

"I can't fucking believe this place." Tex muttered.

"It was, um... goodbye." Fluttershy said quietly, before setting quick pace back to her home.

"Un. Fucking. Believable." Tex growled, before furthering her walk into Ponyville.

Tex wandered aimlessly through Ponyville for an hour, getting a feeling for her surroundings, until she came across the Carousel Boutique. She walked up to the door and opened it to see Rarity fiddling with a dress on one of the marequins.

"Hello, welcome to the Carousel Boutique." Rarity said without turning around to greet Tex. When Tex did not reply, Rarity turned to see Tex staring quietly at her from the doorway. "Oh, hello Tex. What brings you to my boutique? You wouldn't be happening to want a dress, would you?"

"No, just walking around. Getting a feel for the place just in case I have to stay here for any longer than I want to." Tex said, before adding quietly, "And I think that that time is just about up."

"Oh? And how are you liking Ponyville?" Rarity asked warily.

"I preferred the canyon."

"That's too bad." Rarity said, turning her focus back to the dress again. "I've heard of your reputation."

"And?"

"Well... I can't say I approve of that sort of thing, even to a group of ponies that deserve it as much as they do." Rarity said as she continued on her dress. "But I'm sure other ponies in Ponyville will look up to you to some degree."

"Where's Simmons?" Tex asked curiously.

"I believe Sarge wanted to speak with him, why? Do you need to speak with him?"

"Just trying to figure something out. See if he's changed at all."

"Changed?" Rarity repeated.

"Never mind, you wouldn't be able to help."

"Very well." Rarity said quietly. "So do you have any plans on what you intend to do here?"

"Find a way out of here."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. I'll just have to wait until Delta is up here." Tex mumbled as she walked to the door.

"Leaving already?"

"Yeah, I need to do a little detective work."

"If you ever need a dress tailored, don't hesitate to look me up." Rarity said happily.

"I wouldn't count on it." Tex said as she slammed the door behind her.

Changes

"This is the right place..." Tex muttered as she looked into the orchard surrounding Sweet Apple Acres. She went through the gate and began to look around, trying to find either Simmons or Sarge outside. "So where the hell are those jack asses?"

"Who're you?" A deep voice asked from behind her as she came within forty yards of the farm.

"There are way too many fucking horses here." Tex muttered, before whipping her head around to be face to face with a large red pony that had nothing but a bit of straw between his teeth. "I'm Tex."

"Name's Big Macintosh. Most folks call me Big Mac." Big Mac said, narrowing his eyes. "And your name don't ring any good bells, so ah'd 'ppreciate if you got off mah families farm."

"Yeah? And what are you going to do if I don't leave?"

"Ah'd forcibly remove you from the area."

"You haven't heard about me yet?" Tex asked. "The pony from the Everfree that kicked those three stooges' asses?"

"Ah heard of ya, but that don't mean ah'm afraid of ya." Big Mac said with a small chuckle. "Now are ya gunna leave or-"

"I'm looking for Sarge and Simmons."

Big Mac nodded and placed his hoof in his lips, allowing him to whitle sharply. After a few seconds Winona ran up to Big Mac, tail wagging rapidly. He bent down, whispered something to Winona and she took off towards the farmhouse.

"What was that about?"

"Told her t' get Sarge." Big Mac said, walking up to one of the apple trees. He bucked the tree lightly, and an apple fell onto the grass beside him.

"Why can't I just go in and talk to him?"

"Don't trust ya." Big Mac said simply as he took a bite out of the apple.

"Either you're extremely brave, or really fucking stupid." Tex furrowed her brow, tempted to hurt Big Mac.

"Well ah may not be th' sharpest of nails, but that don't mean ah'm stupid." Big Mac grunted, fully understanding who she was and what she could do. "So ah guess ah'm just brave."

A loud bark came from behind the pair, and they turned to see Sarge and Simmons opening the door to the farmhouse. Simmons paused when he saw Tex, but Sarge remained uninterested and simply continued out the door.

"What are you doing here?" Sarge asked curiously.

"I came to ask a few questions."

"And if I refuse?"

"I'll break your legs." Tex said threateningly, turning to see if Big Mac would react, but he continued to show disinterest.

"Tough choice." Sarge said thoughtfully. "What do these questions involve."

"You and the other idiots."

"Alright." Sarge said, motioning his head to invite her inside.

"Thanks for getting them... I guess..." Tex said, starting towards the Reds.

"Say, do ya know who this Gary fella is?" Big Mac asked quietly.

"I don't think I'm at liberty to say." Tex said, surprised that she hesitated. "Why?"

"Just wonderin'." Big Mac said, finishing off the apple. Tex shrugged and continued towards the farmhouse. Big Mac threw the core on the grass next to him and resumed chewing on his piece of straw. "Ah didn't hear a no."

Tex walked up to the front door, where Simmons was still frozen in place, eyeing Tex warily.

"Quit standing around an get in here, or get going." Sarge grunted from inside.

"Yes sir." Simmons said quickly, running in front of Tex to get away from her.

Tex smiled to herself, happy that she still instilled fear in at least some ponies. Tex walked in after a few seconds, until she came into a room where Sarge was sitting next to a table, talking to an elderly pony.

"Oh, is that your friend?" Granny Smith asked pleasantly. Her eyes widened slightly and her smile grew larger for a brief moment. "Are ya hungry?"

"Not really." Tex muttered. "I'm really just here to talk to-"

"Nonsense, you can't speak on an empty stomach." Granny Smith tutted, before trotting into the kitchen.

Tex rolled her eyes before sitting next to the table. She looked at the walls of the room, one of which was covered in family photos.

"I'm surprised you haven't threatened to kill the Apple family yet." Simmons noted as Tex's attention drew back to them.

"One of them is just a kid, and the granny and that Big Mac guy seem alright." Tex said idly.

"You think he's alright?" Simmons scoffed. "That's hard to believe."

"He has a lot of balls to stand up to me."

Simmons and Sarge looked at each other an sighed.

"It's lines like that that remind me that Donut is six feet under." Sarge said in an odd tone.

"Good." Tex said coldly, reminded of what he did to her. "Besides those three idiots with wings, the horses who live here seem pretty... I don't know, docile I guess. No reason to go on a killing spree. Yet."

"So how about you cut to the chase. Why are you here?" Sarge asked firmly.

"I ask myself that a lot." Tex sighed, but quickly became serious. "Have you guys noticed anything different about the others?"

"No. Anything else?"

"You mean you haven't seen Grif be active rather than being his regular jack ass self?"

"No, Grif's still a lazy bastard." Sarge muttered.

"Here ya go deary." Granny Smith said as she entered the room once more, this time holding a tray that had a bowl of soup on top of it.

"Thanks." Tex muttered, forcing a thin smile.

"Not a problem. It's so nice to meet so many of Applejack's friends." Granny Smith laughed.

Tex remained silent as Granny Smith left the room, then she stared at the bowl of soup.

"Don't get me started on the food here. I've had nothing to eat except apples for the past few months." Sarge shivered.

"So these ponies don't eat meat? Figures." Tex grunted, pushing the bowl of apple soup further up the table. She turned to Simmons and raised her brow. "So are you sure you haven't noticed any changes with any of the others?"

"Not that I've noticed." Simmons said quietly.

"Caboose? Tucker? Church? They seem the same to you?" Tex asked seriously, this time the question was directed at Sarge.

"I like to keep out of the Blues way nowadays." Sarge said honestly, before adorning a large smirk. "Now drink, or eat, the soup. Don't want Granny Smith to get upset that you refused her famous apple soup, do you?"

"I guess not." Tex said, pulling the bowl of soup towards her, mind turning on what Sarge had just said.

"So why the interest in us all of a sudden?" Simmons asked, both nervously and curiously.

"I guess I just need to know if you guys have been getting the shit beaten out of you, and how much work I have to catch up on." Tex said, downing the bowl of apple soup in a matter of seconds. She threw the bowl back on the table and looked around. "How can you stand this place?"

"What do you mean?" Sarge asked.

"The residents seem so damn friendly and everything is just so damn bright and happy." Tex said disgustedly.

"Yeah, it is kind of feminine." Simmons agreed.

"I've just tried ignoring it, but it's been pretty difficult." Sarge grunted.

"Well, as expected you haven't been helpful in the slightest, so I guess I'll leave now." Tex said, beginning to leave, but paused at the door. "So what does that Big Mac guy want to do with Gamma?"

"I don't know. I haven't told Big Mac about him."

"Right..." Tex said, leaving the farmhouse.

Scheduled

The sun peered through the window and the light shone on Rainbow Dash's closed eyes. She quickly shifted until her eyes were out of the sun so she could go back to sleep. She accidentally bumped into Tucker, causing him to fall off the bed and crash into the ground.

"You're still here?" Rainbow Dash yawned.

"Yeah." Tucker grumbled as he got off the floor, rubbing his chin. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You were going to go talk to our boss yesterday to tell him why we haven't shown up, but then you forgot so you promised to go today, remember?" Rainbow Dash asked as she pulled the cover back up so she was completely covered from the rays of the sun.

"Fuck, is today tomorrow already?" Tucker groaned.

"Yes, today is tomorrow. Now go."

"Why can't you do it?"

"Because you said you would." Rainbow Dash said quietly after a few seconds of remaining silent.

"I say a lot of things." Tucker said, but was met by a pillow to the side of the head. He looked back at the bed to see Rainbow Dash glaring at him.

"Go."

"But it's so early." Tucker whined.

"Go."

"But-"

"Go!" Rainbow Dash snapped, grabbing another pillow.

"Alright. Jeez." Tucker muttered, quickly flying out the window to avoid being hit by another pillow.

Tucker begrudgingly flew to Cloudsdale's Weather Control building. He stumbled tiredly through the door, creating a loud noise as he crashed into the ground.

"Are you alright?" The receptionist asked, getting out from behind her desk.

"Yeah, just tired." Tucker sighed, getting off the floor. "Is he in?"

"Yes, and he's been wanting to talk to you."

"Is he mad?"

"Very?"

"Will he fire me?"

"Probably not seeing as you came to him, rather than him doing vice versa." The receptionist smiled. "He would have been really mad to do that."

Tucker nodded and quickly trotted through the door and into the gym. Something about it made him adopt a small smile. Hoops, Score and Dumb-Bell were nowhere to be seen. Remembering why he was here, Tucker took a deep breath and nodded on the door to Inclement's office.

"Who is it?" Inclement asked from inside.

"Tu-"

"Where have you been?" Inclement snapped. "Get in here, now!"

Tucker opened the door with his teeth and quickly ran in. He saw Inclement sitting at his desk, which he expected, but was surprised to see Hoops, Score and Dumb-Bell standing in front of the desk. Score and Dumb-Bell stared indifferently at Tucker, but Hoops shot him a glare.

"Do you have anything to say for yourselves?" Inclement asked.

"Did they not show up to work either?" Tucker asked curiously.

"No, but we'll get to that after they've left." Inclement said roughly, sharing a look with the others. "I'm talking about what happened in Ponyville."

"Oh, you heard about Tex?" Tucker laughed briefly, stopping only when he saw the look on Inclement's face that showed him he was in no mood.

"This Tex pony has stirred up some problems with the pegasi up here." Inclement said, sinking further into his chair.

"She's the definition of problem."

"We're in hot water now. Word is getting around that the pegasi I hire aren't up to standards. They're saying that this place needs better management, what with me hiring four idiots who couldn't handle one mare." Inclement said. He paused for a brief moment, before slamming his hoof onto the table. "One. Mare. Now I'm not saying you should have hit her, but how in Celestia's name did she manage to embarrass us all like that."

"What are you talking about? I didn't do anything."

"That's just it. You didn't do anything. When they were in trouble, you walked away."

"Trust me, I know Tex. It doesn't matter how many you would have sent at her, she would have done just as much to them as she did to those three. That's why I told them to run." Tucker said, motioning his head at Score ad Dumb-Bell.

"And running is supposed to be better?"

"Look at Hoops, then look at those two. Which one's look better off?"

"Why didn't you help?" Hoops asked, continuing to glare daggers at Tucker.

"Are you kidding? She would have just used me as a weapon on you."

Inclement coughed abruptly, causing Hoops to look away from Tucker.

"Are there any other reasons you did not get involved?" Inclement asked. Score, Hoops and Dumb-Bell all turned to see if he had ditched them for any other reason.

"It was kind of funny."

Inclement flashed a quick smile, one that only Tucker saw, but he cleared his throat and glared for a few seconds at each of them when their gazes returned to him.

"I guess we could-" Dumb-Bell began.

"Don't. Do. Anything." Inclement said, pausing icily after each word. "I will sort this out. You three have done enough. Get out of my office so I can talk to Tucker."

Score, Hoops and Dumb-Bell quickly ran out of the room, jumping at the chance to not be there in case Inclement got angrier. When Dumb-Bell slammed the door behind them, Inclement motioned towards a chair.

"I'll stand." Tucker said.

"Very well." Inclement said, being surprisingly docile. "How have you been?"

"Uh, good I guess." Tucker said nervously, knowing that Inclement was just beating around the bush.

"That's good to hear." Inclement smiled pleasantly. "How is Rainbow Dash?"

"Fine."

"Great. You been busy a lot?"

"A bit." Tucker said, then formed a quick idea. "It's just that Tex is my friend and she came to town. I went to Ponyville to greet her, but she was fighting those guys when I got there. And I know her well. If you interfere with her, she'll hit you just as hard."

"Oh? And where were you before then?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean where were you for the two weeks after you were supposed to come in?" Inclement yelled, completely dropping the pleasantries. "Why weren't you here all this time? Where have you and Miss Dash been? Why didn't you contact me earlier? Why-"

"Someone I know got killed." Tucker said quietly, hoping to stop his anger.

"Oh." Inclement said, eyes growing genuinely soft. Inclement tapped the desk awkwardly, feeling sorry for having yelled at Tucker. "I'm sorry to here about that. Were you two close?"

"Not really, I've just known him for a long time." Tucker said admittedly.

"Nevertheless, I apologize. Did he have any family?"

"Not that I know of."

"That's a shame. If you ever do meet his family, give them my regards."

"Why?" Tucker asked with a laugh. "He's better now."

Inclement's eye twitched and his face returned to it's dead serious expression.

"Wha-"

"Get back to work. You both owe me ten hours for not showing up." Inclement snapped, flicking Tucker and Rainbow Dash's schedules at him. "And that time starts in an hour. If you're late again, you're fired. Both you and Miss Dash."

And with that, Inclement grabbed Tucker and threw him out of his office, just to slam the door as Tucker crashed into the ground. Tucker got off the floor and collected the schedules and looked at them.

"Shit."

Detective Work

Tucker slowly opened the door to Rainbow Dash's home and saw Rainbow Dash sitting at the table, about to eat a hay sandwich.

"That was fast."

"That won't be the first time you'll be saying that." Tucker chuckled. He stopped snickering when he saw that Rainbow Dash was on the floor laughing, quickly realizing what he said. "No- I mean, wait, shit."

"Calm down." Rainbow Dash said, slowly climbing to her hooves. She picked up her sandwich and took a large bite out of it. "What did you say to him?"

"I told him the truth." Tucker said edgily.

"What do you mean by truth." Rainbow Dash asked as she swallowed her food.

"I told him Caboose died."

"That's not all you told him, was it?" Rainbow Dash said, putting her sandwich back on the table.

"Yeah, I also told him that he got better. Now he thinks that I tried lying to him so he's super pissed."

"Tucker, what the-"

"Hay, yeah, I know. I fucked something up. But are you really surprised?"

"Not really." Rainbow Dash sighed annoyingly, but could not hide a small smile.

"Oh, and we both owe him ten hours of overtime without pay." Tucker added after a few seconds, as if he had forgotten.

"Wh-"

"And we start in like fifty minutes." Tucker interrupted quickly, pulling out her schedule just to toss it in front of her.

Rainbow Dash hastily grabbed the schedule and looked at it. She let out a loud groan, and Tucker instinctively backed up.

"Tu-"

"And if we don't show up we'll be fired."

This time Rainbow Dash had nothing to say, so instead she flew towards him and kicked him in his genitals, causing him to fall over in pain.

"Fuck!" Tucker whined as he rolled on his black, clutching his stallionhood as Rainbow Dash stormed past him.

"I knew I shouldn't have let you talk to him." Rainbow Dash said as she grabbed the back of Tucker's neck to pull him out the door.

Once she got to the door she pushed Tucker ahead of her and bucked him out the door. Tucker quickly opened his wings to prevent himself from slamming into the ground. Tucker looked down once had had balanced himself out and saw Tex staring up at him. Tucker shrugged to himself and began flying towards the southern part of Ponyville where he was scheduled to clear.

"What are you doing here?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously.

"I came to talk to-"

"As much as I love talking to you, we kind of have jobs to go to." Tucker said, nudging Rainbow Dash in her ribs.

"You have a job?" Tex asked with a rough laugh. "Doing what? Cracking sex jokes?"

"If only. Our job is to kick the clouds out of the sky to... I don't really know why, now that I think about it." Tucker muttered. He turned to Rainbow Dash and gave her a confused look.

"We clear the skies so the sun can shine on the crops and flowers because they need them to survive, genius." Rainbow Dash said, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, now I'm really wondering what the hell is happening around here..." Tex muttered.

"About what?" Tucker asked sarcastically. "About why nobody wants to talk to you? Probably has something to do with the fact that you're always being being a complete bitch with a terrible personality and a fondness for hitting things."

To Tucker's surprise, Tex began walking away without yelling at him. Rainbow Dash coughed, making Tucker turn his attention to her, and she began motioning her head towards Ponyville. Tucker nodded and they both flew towards their scheduled locations. Tex began walking towards the location that she decided to go to as well; Fluttershy's cottage.

What the hell is happening to them? Tex thought to herself as she reached Fluttershy's home and knocked on the door.

"Coming." Fluttershy said happily from inside.

When she opened the door, she saw Tex staring at her with a stern look on her face.

"Hi." Tex muttered.

"Oh, hello Tex." Fluttershy said quietly, closing the door slightly. "W-what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to Grif."

"Why?"

"I need to prove something." Tex said firmly, showing she did not want to answer any questions.

Fluttershy nodded hesitantly, before closing the door to go get Grif. She went up to the couch and shook Grif.

"Bwuh?" Grif snorted as he rubbed his eyes. He turned to Fluttershy and raised his brow.

Fluttershy nodded towards the door, silently telling Grif that someone had came to see him. Grif then looked own to Haley, who was growling softly while curled up at the other end of the couch. He looked back to Fluttershy with wide eyes, and Fluttershy nodded somberly. Grif rolled off the couch and began trotting to the door, being followed by Haley who had jumped off after him.

"How the hell did you know where she lives?" Grif asked as he opened the door.

"I think that since I've learned to hate you so much, I know where you are just based on instincts." Tex said without any hint of her words being a joke. "Come out here, I need to talk to you. Alone."

"I think I'm good in here."

"It's either you come out, or I smash the door down."

Grif sighed and looked back at Fluttershy, who was holding a Harley back as she barked loudly.

"Promise not to hurt me?"

"No."

"Figured as much." Grif muttered, walking out the door. "Be back in a couple minutes. Maybe."

Fluttershy nodded quickly as Grif closed the door behind him. When he turned back around, Tex was standing by the rails in front of Fluttershy's home

"So why the hell do you want to talk to me?"

"I don't really want to talk to you. I just wanted to let off some steam, a lot of things are pissing me off about this place."

"That's too bad." Grif said, happy that Tex was suffering to some degree. "Wait, what do you mean by-"

Tex body checked Grif, causing him to crash into the ground. As he tried to get up, Tex jumped towards him and kicked him in his crotch, causing him to let out a soft whimper. Tex reeled her hoof back to kick him again, but he quickly rolled out of the way, causing Tex to miss. Grif shakily flew off the ground, barely managing to get out of Tex's immediate reach as she kicked at him again.

"Get back down here!" Tex commanded, jumping to grab him.

Grif flapped his wings as strong as he could, propelling him further in the sky, barely managing to dodge Tex. Tex landed on the ground and glared up at Grif, who was looking down at her with a smug look of satisfaction.

"Wipe that look off your face." Tex grunted, but Grif had not heard her, and even if he did he probably would have ignored her anyways.

"Ha! Why didn't I think of this before?" Grif asked as he landed on a cloud.

"Because you're an idiot?" Tex asked loudly.

"Fuck you!" Grif said, but with a laugh. "Now what are you going to do, huh? I'm up here and you're all the way down there!"

Tex pulled a small rock out of the ground and chucked it through the cloud, hitting the back of Grif's head. Grif yelped when the rock came in contact with his skull. Annoyed, he poked his head over the cloud and he glared at her, but she simply stood still, looking up at him with an unsatisfied smirk.

"Fuck y-" Grif began, but yelped once again when Tex threw a second rock at him, this time hitting him in the jaw. "God dammit!"

"Where are the big rocks?" Tex scowled as she began kicking patches of dirt to the side, trying to find larger things to hit her target with.

Grif, realizing that she wouldn't stop throwing rocks, flew up an extra hundred yards to put more of a distance between him and his assailant. Tex grabbed another rock and hurled it up at him, and it just barely reached him, hitting him in the chest.

"Son of a bitch!" Grif snapped. "Why are you doing that?"

"Because you're an idiot."

"And you're a cunt!"

"Why don't you stop being a baby and come down here so I can kick your ass without having to look for things to hurt you with?"

"I'm good." Grif chuckled, nestling on a higher up cloud that was just out of Tex's reach. "Maybe I should just live up here. Sarge can't annoy me, you can't reach me and most of all these clouds are unbelievably comfy."

Tex grabbed another rock, but judged the distance between her and the cloud. She released the rock, realizing that it would not reach him, and she stormed off back to the library. Grif poked his head over the cloud and watched as Tex had begun walking away. He let out a yawn loud enough to let Tex hear, making her trot faster out of spite, before settling back in the cloud for a nap.

Changes

Spike poked his head out of the kitchen to see Twilight flipping through a book, reading it as fast as he could. He edged his head to the left and saw Church sitting at the table, arguing with the Necronomicon.

"I still can't believe you're seriously talking about getting into a relationship with a damn book..." Church muttered.

"But I'm a book too!"

"You're also an asshole."

"I learned it from watching you!" The Necronomicon yelled over dramatically.

"You're unfucking believable."

"Hey now, don't be jealous just because my love life is simple." The Necronomicon chuckled.

"I really wish your life had a face so I could punch it." Church hissed.

"Rude." The Necronomicon said in a sing song voice.

Church turned to see Spike staring silently at him.

"What's up?" Church asked.

"Nothing really." Spike shrugged. " I just felt like going for a walk and just wanted to let you guys know."

"Alright, have fun."

"Do you want me to come with you?" Twilight asked, half turning her attention away from the book.

"Nah, you keep reading."

Twilight looked up to him and flashed him a quick smile, before immediately focusing back on the book. Spike half waved to Church as he walked out the door. He began to walk through Ponyville, no destination set in his mind. After several minutes of walking he heard a branch snap behind him, surprising him seeing as there were no branches in sight. He snapped his head around, thinking someone was behind him. The only thing he saw was a mare and a stallion laughing. Spike shrugged and turned back around to resume his walk.

"Hello!" Caboose said loudly, suddenly appearing in front of Spike while standing on a snapped branch.

Spike fell to the ground, startled from Caboose's sudden appearance.

"That looked fun!"

"Hey Caboose." Spike laughed, wiping some dirt off of his arm. "What are you doing?"

"What is who doing?" Caboose asked, turning around to see if anyone was behind him.

"You."

"Who is You?" Caboose asked, before his voice suddenly changed to be more quiet. "Is he mean?"

"Spike! Did you hear the news?" Pinkie asked excitedly, suddenly erupting from a wagon full of hay.

Spike lunged onto the ground, once again startled from the sudden yelling.

"That looked like fun." Pinkie giggled.

"What news?"

"A mare came to town and beat the snot out of three pegasuseses!"

"That was Tex."

"Really?" Pinkie gasped. "But she seems so nice. Well, except for when we were walking in those caves. She was kind of mean there. Oh well, those guys must have said something to really upset her."

"Yeah." Spike nodded quickly, trying to get out of the conversation to resume his walk.

"So what are you doing out and about?" Pinkie asked, hopping around Spike.

"Just going for a walk."

"Nobody just goes for a walk, silly."

"Why not?"

"Because there's always some other reason that they're walking. Some ponies do it for exercise. Some other ponies do it for thinking.

"I love thinking!" Caboose said, joining Pinkie as she jumped around the small dragon.

"Me too!" Pinkie said enthusiastically. She stopped hopping and turned to Caboose with a wide grin. "Hey, that gives me an idea!"

Pinkie reached into the wagon of hay and pulled out a large, pink cannon.

"What are you doing?" Spike asked quietly.

"No time to explain! Caboose, get in the cannon!"

"Okay!" Caboose exclaimed.

Caboose quickly hopped into the cannon. Once he was in, Pinkie jumped in as well. Spike watched as Pinkie's foreleg stretched out of the cannon and pressed the button on the back. The cannon made an exploding sound, causing Spike to cover his ears. After a brief moment he looked up to see Pinkie soaring through the air, Caboose clasping onto her tail with his teeth.

"Adventure!" Pinkie shouted.

Spike shook his head and chuckled to himself before resuming his walk. After two minutes, Spike came by one of Ponyville's streams. He looked at the bridge, which had been repaired a week prior, and sat next to it. Spike sighed and put his claw in the water, watching as the flow passed him without any trouble. His attention changed from the flow to the reflection pony that was standing behind him.

"What are you doing out here?" Tex asked curiously.

"Getting some fresh air."

Tex looked into Spike's emerald colored eyes and saw something in them that she was surprised to see. Respect. Seeing this, she gave a single nod to tell Spike to sit.

"So where'd you go?" Spike asked.

"I went to check up on the guys."

"To catch up on missed time?"

"In a way." Tex nodded.

"How'd it go?"

"As about as well as you would expect from these guys. Horribly."

"Did they not want to talk to you or something?"

"Not just that, I just learned a lot more about this place than I expected." Tex grunted.

"Like what?"

"Like Tucker has an actual damn job. Like Grif is a little bit less lazy. Like Simmons isn't trying to completely kiss Sarge's ass, trying to get his job. Like Sarge seemingly wanting nothing to do with the blues, when he used to wonder what they were up to twenty-four seven.." Tex sighed disappointingly. "Hell, even Caboose has found something that isn't armed with a fucking cannon."

"Well actually..." Spike coughed.

Tex turned to him with a confused expression.

"Nevermind." Spike grunted. She'll figure that out soon enough.

"They've changed so much, but in such a little way that none of the others have noticed."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Spike asked quietly.

"No. It's far from nice. It's strange."

"But why? I thought you didn't like the others."

"I don't."

"Then why are you angry that they're changing?"

"Because they're not the assholes I knew anymore. Now they're a different set of assholes."

"So you don't hate them?" Spike asked.

"They wish." Tex snorted.

Spike narrowed his eyes slightly and looked at Tex's cutie mark, sending a wave of unease through him. He continued staring at the skull, and each passing second felt like a minute.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Tex asked after a few seconds.

"N-no reason." Spike said quietly. He fidgeted slightly and looked away from Tex.

Tex shrugged and looked of into the distance, and the pair sat in silence, waiting for the other to speak.

"Do you have any friends?" Spike asked quietly after a minute of silence.

"No, I don't." Tex admitted, as if it wasn't a big deal.

"Why?" Spike pushed lightly. "I mean, do you try to make friends?"

"Where I'm from, the only things friendship got you was a larger chance of being stabbed in the back." Tex said in a soft tone, turning to stare at the sky.

"But I thought you were supposed to be a bad guy. Isn't that the sort of thing that happens with bad guys?"

"I'm not a bad guy." Tex said, beginning to laugh. She came to a stop when she looked at Spike's eyes. The thing she saw in his eyes that she thought was respect, was actually the opposite of that. It was fear, but not the kind that she was used to. It wasn't the fear of bodily harm like shes used to seeing in others, but genuine fear of her. She looked down into the small stream and looked at her reflection, which seemed to be smirking back up at her. I'm not a bad guy... am I?

"Are you okay?" Spike asked, snapping Tex out of her deep thought.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Tex muttered, getting off the ground. She looked back at Ponyville with a strange feeling in her gut "Looks like I have some more stuff to think about..."

Tips

Sure I'm a bit of a bitch, but I'm not a bad guy, am I?

That was the question that kept running through Tex's mind as she wandered through Ponyville. She knows he's a bitch. She knows why she is that way. But in her eyes, that's all she was. Just a bitch, not necessarily a bad person. She looked to her left and saw a pair of ponies laughing with each other. They turned to her with a smile, and she forced a smile back. When they saw her cutie mark, their smiles dwindled and they spoke in a hushed tone to each other before trotting away. She looked at her cutie mark and began feeling strange. She quickly shrugged it off and continued her walk, ignoring the feeling she had. Eventually she ended up in front of the library and, with a sigh of relief, entered. She looked forward and saw Church sitting at the table, the Necronomicon upright in the center of the table.

"Where's Twilight?" Tex asked.

"Upstairs, why?" Church asked, turning to Tex.

"I need to talk to her."

"About what? About how you're going to kill her?"

"That can wait."

"You can wait to kill someone? It's a god damn miracle." Church laughed, but Tex shook her head and began walking around the house to look for Twilight. "She's upstairs, she said she'll be down in a few minutes."

Tex nodded reluctantly and sat at the table, where the Necronomicon was looking at her.

"What is it?" Tex asked.

"Someone's in a foul mood." The Necronomicon said quietly, but chuckled to himself. "Hey, why the long face?"

Tex swatted the Necronomicon, sending him flying into a wall. He then bounced off the wall and fell into a garbage bin.

"Nobody sides with Ol' Necky." The Necronomicon sighed deeply.

"He's got a point." Church coughed. "You're not being bitchy, you're just being mopey. What's going on?"

"Nothing." Tex mumbled. "I'm going to try and make some friends"

"What was that?"

"I said I'm going to try and make some friends..."

"You want friends?" Church asked, stifling a laugh.

"I guess I just figured I never gave it a fair shake, y'know? Closest thing I had to a friend was York, but he's dead now."

"But why? I thought you liked being a complete bitch to me and the others."

"I did. I still do." Tex nodded. "But I kind of want to see what it's like on the other side. And hey, if the others can change, I can too, right?"

"I guess." Church shrugged. His ears perked up when he heard a noise from upstairs. "Hey Twilight."

"Hello Church." Twilight smiled as she trotted down the stairs."How was your walk Tex."

"Fine. Listen, do you think you can help me out?"

"You want me to help you?" Twilight asked, surprised. She quickly shook the look of bewilderment off her face and began to smile. "Sure, what do you need?"

"You have a lot of friends, right?"

"I have a few." Twilight said modestly. "Why?"

"I need your help making some friends?"

"You want friends?" Twilight asked skeptically.

"Yes, is that such a big fucking deal that nobody can say it with a straight face?"

"No, I'm sorry." Twilight said shamefacedly, before quickly resuming her smile. "I'll be honest, I'm not the best at making friends. In fact, I'm still learning what it's like to be a true friend."

"Couldn't make it any worse." Tex shrugged.

"I suppose not." Twilight nodded thoughtfully.

Suddenly, one of the windows of the library smashed, sending dozens of shards of glass flying towards them. They covered their faces as the shards of glass bounced off of them, surprisingly leaving no cuts. Tex was the first to lower her hoof, and when she did she saw a chest sitting on a pile of glass. Pinkie then landed on the chest, wearing a pirate's tricorne with her cutie mark on the front of it. She then saw that Caboose was clamping onto her tail with his teeth, while wearing a light blue rag on his head with his cutie mark embroidered on it, as well as adorning a black eye patch with a yellow smiley face on it. He also had a sword that appeared to be made out of candy dangling from his midsection.

"I always find landing to be the hardest thing to get right." Pinkie tutted as she pulled an orange streamer out of her hair.

"What the hell..." Church muttered in disbelief as he looked Caboose over. "What are you wearing?"

"Church! You missed it!" Caboose said, spitting Pinkie's tail out of his mouth. He shook his head vigorously, making the rag and eye patch fall to the ground. "Me and Pinkie found this guy, an he had a pirate ship, and he promised me candy, but then I remembered that my mom said to keep away from strange men who offered me candy, but then I realized he was a pony, so I said yes! And then we went on this pirate ship and we went on the sea, and it was really, really, really big!"

"Caboose."

"And then after we were on the sea, I got a little air sick, but then the pirate gave me the candy he promised!" Caboose said, pulling out the candy scabbard, where there were multiple bite marks in it. "And then I took a bite out of it and started to feel better, but then we hit a wave and I got sick again."

"Caboose." Church repeated.

"But then we got to the place we set sail to, and we dug for some treasure! It turned out to be a chest filled with candy, so Pinkie grabbed it and told me to jump in her cannon, and the next thing I know we-"

"Alright, that's enough!" Church yelled.

"I'm not alright, I'm Caboose."

"I swear to god." Church muttered.

"It was so much fun!" Pinkie laughed. "Remember how he thought there was a talking fish?"

"Yes! And then there was!"

"I hope he's not too angry that we took the candy." Pinkie said sadly, but shrugged it off. "Ah well, friends can't stay angry at each other forever."

"Hey, Pinkie, mind if I have a word with you outside?" Tex asked bluntly.

"Just one?" Pinkie asked.

"Well, I'm already regretting this plan and I haven't even started it yet." Tex muttered.

"Alrighty, just let me check on something." Pinkie said, turning around to open the chest. "Oh, sorry about the window Twi, I'll pay for it."

"That won't be necessary." Twilight insisted.

"I won't take no for an answer." Pinkie said, taking a hoof full of chocolate bits out of the chest, just to place them on the table next to Twilight. "Will that cover it?"

"Yes." Twilight said, rolling her eyes.

"Awesome!" Pinkie smiled. She quickly hopped next to Tex and tilted her head.

Tex nodded and walked out the door, followed by an energetic Pinkie Pie. Once they were outside, Tex shut the door and walked around to the other side of the library.

"So whacha wanna talk about?" Pinkie asked as she jumped next to Tex.

"Listen, I need your help with something."

"Ooh, are you making a bird house?"

"No." Tex grunted.

"Are you... throwing a party?"

"No I'm-"

"Shh! Let me guess it!" Pinkie said, shoving her hoof over Tex's mouth. "Are you going on a adventure?"

Tex shook her head.

"Are you going to bake a cake? I personally like strawber-"

"I want to try making friends." Tex growled, spitting out Pinkie's hoof.

"I was going to guess that!" Pinkie giggled. She threw her foreleg around Tex's neck. "Don't worry, you came to the right pony. We'll get you hundreds of friends!"

"Hundreds?" Tex aked sarcastically.

"You're right, we should aim for at least two thousand."

"Well I can already tell this is going to end-"

"Fantastically!" Pinkie interrupted, placing her hoof on Tex's nose. "Rule number one, nobody likes a negative nelly. be positive!"

"Alight, I'm positive this was a terrible idea."

"That's the spirit!"

Lesson #2: Be Yourself

"So Pipsqueak." Tex coughed as they walked through Ponyville, which was surprisingly barren of any ponies outside.

"Just call me Pip!" Pip smiled.

"Okay then. So Pip, do you like it here in Ponyville?" Tex asked curiously. "I mean, aside from the ponies running away from me, this place seems pretty dull."

"Sometimes it can get a little boring, and sometimes I get picked on-"

"You get picked on?"

"Not a lot. Mostly just because of my accent, but they're just joking around." Pip smiled unconvincingly. "I think."

"Listen, if any punk is giving you trouble, tell me." Tex said seriously. "Got it?"

"I'm sure that-"

"Got it?"

"Yes ma'am." Pip grumbled, but smiled anyways. "But yeah, besides that it's not that bad. Every now and then I take the train to Manehatten and visit their harbor, but that trip takes a couple hours so I don't go often."

"How's it going?" Pinkie asked, somehow appearing in between Pip and Tex.

Neither of them flinched.

"Aw, you're not fun." Pinkie pouted jokingly. She turned her attention to Pip. "Heya Pip!"

"Hello Pinkie." Pip bowed. "How are you today?"

"I'm great!" Pinkie grinned. "Just showing Tex here around town, trying to get her some friends. I'm glad you're helping too, because it's been exhausting."

"We've been out here for less than hour..."

"Yeah, but it doesn't take that long to get friends."

"Oh." Tex muttered. "Thanks."

"I just meant for a professional friend maker like myself." Pinkie said in an attempt to reassure her.

"Of course you did."

'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that." Pinkie bawled, hugging Tex's hind leg. "I promise I take it back."

"Okay, I forgive you, just get off me." Tex said, uncomfortable with the contact. "I guess I can't blame you for being able to make friends faster than me."

"Yeah! Hey, that brings me to the second lesson. Be yourself." Pinkie said, poking Tex in her ribs.

"I was under the impression that you've seen me for who I am." Tex grunted.

"Remember rule number one." Pinkie chastised in a counterproductive happy tone. "And rule number two and three!"

"What's rule number two and three?"

"Rule number two is always remember rule number one."

"What's rule number three?" Tex asked sarcastically. "Remember rule number two?"

"Nope, rule number three is to always ask questions. You need to sound interested in their lives."

"But I'm not."

"Of course you're not, it's just expected. You aren't supposed to be interested until you're sure you've made a friend."

"That doesn't sound particularly friendly."

"You passed the first test!" Pinkie whooped. "You know the difference between what's friendly and what's not!"

"Amazing." Tex rolled her eyes. "I've made so much progress."

"Come on, I see somepony you should meet!" Pip said quietly, galloping full speed ahead.

Tex shrugged at Pinkie and walked after Pip, matching his speed in stride. Pip ran up to one of the nearby buildings. There was a white unicorn was sitting up against sitting up against the wall, bobbing her head. The color of her mane alternated between blue and aquamarine, and she had a pair of purple tinted sunglasses over her horn. She seemed to be scrawling something on a small parchment when Pip stopped in between her and the sun. The unicorn looked up to see what was blocking her light and stared at him.

"Afternoon, Miss Scratch." Pip panted, making his accent a lot thicker than it usually was. "How are you on this fine day?"

"I'm doing well Pip. Smooth sailings on the seas with you I presume?" Vinyl Scratch asked with a smile, mimicking his voice.

"You bet!" Pip said, smiling weakly.

"So what's up?" Vinyl Scratch asked, her voice returning to normal.

"Not a lot really, just helping out a new friend."

"A school buddy?"

"No, I just met her today, but she's really fun."

"Ohh, a lady friend?" Vinyl cooed.

Pip smiled embarrassingly, before turning around to see Tex standing a few feet behind him. Tex shook off the unease she was feeling and stepped next to Pip.

"This is my new friend." Pip smiled. "Her name is T-"

"Allison." Tex said quickly, not wanting her to know that she was Tex. "My name is Allison."

"Strange name." Vinyl Scratch said, pulling her goggles back down over her eyes.

"I guess so." Tex said, forcing grin.

"I suppose I shouldn't be the one to talk though." She chuckled, extending her hoof. "Nice to meet you Allison."

"Ditto." Tex said, shaking her hoof. "So what do you do around here?"

"Me specifically, or in general?"

"Both."

"Well, I DJ at the local club, but not a lot of ponies show up. In fact I have a show in a couple hours." Vinyl shrugged. "Not really much to do around Ponyville though. The only one that keeps this place interesting is Pinkie and her new friend, what's his name?"

"Caboose." Tex grunted.

"Yeah. Doesn't really seem all there, but he seems to be a pretty cool guy."

Tex choked on her tongue as she tried to hold back a bout of laughter.

"Are you alright?" Vinyl asked.

"Yeah, just what you said." Tex snorted. "You called Caboose of all people a pretty cool guy."

"You broke the rules!" Pinkie yelped from behind a bush. She jumped over the small plant and bounded towards Tex. "Remember? Rule number one? Hello? Weren't you listening?"

"Yeah, but you told me to be myself..."

"But you broke a rule!"

"Why are you mad? How was I supposed to know that rules are more important than the lessons?"

"What's going on?" Vinyl Scratch asked, confused.

"You have to do both at the same time!" Pinkie said quickly.

"But they contradict each other." Tex said, barely managing to contain herself.

"Guys!" Vinyl shouted, disrupting Tex and Pinkie's train of thought. "What's going on here?"

"Oh well Tex just came into town and she's sort of mean, but we decided to get her some friends so maybe she will be less mean, but she just broke rule number one. Don;t be a negative n-"

"So you're the fabled Tex, huh?" Vinyl interrupted with a large smirk.

"Fabled?" Tex echoed.

"Yeah. You know, the legendary Tex who came in and showed those pegasi a thing or two about manners."

"Glad to see someone sees it from my side. All these other ponies are terrified of me an think that I'm going to kill them."

"Pft, those winged boneheads had it coming." Vinyl Scratch muttered. "That's what they get for not letting me perform at the Mile."

"I thought it was because they said you'd fall through the clouds if you walked on them." Pinkie said.

"Excuses!" Vinyl Scratched exclaimed, but chuckled at her own outburst. "Whatever, I'm over it. So how about it Tex?"

"How about what?"

"You want to come to my show?"

Tex looked over to Pip and Pinkie, who were both nodding their heads ecstatically.

"Why not? I've got nothing better to do." Tex sighed.

"Charming." Vinyl said sarcastically, punching Tex on her foreleg. "We'll get along just fine."

"Give it time."

"C'mon, club's this way." Vinyl said as she began walking away. "Can't guarantee you'll meet a lot of ponies, but the ones who show up are alright guys, so you shouldn't have any trouble making friends of them. Maybe you'll score a few points if you buy them a round of drinks."

"I would if I had any money." Tex grunted, then began to smile. "You wouldn't happen to know anybody who you'd pay to see their legs broken, do you?"

"Not off the top of my head, but if I think of any I'll call you up." Vinyl laughed.

Tex looked back to Pinkie and Pip, who were both nodding with approval. Tex nodded her thanks and began to walk away, but hesitated. She turned back to Pinkie and motioned her head.

"You go on ahead, I'll make sure Pip gets home safe and sound." Pinkie said, trotting up to Pip.

"I can find my own way home." Pip assured her.

"Yeah, if you went the normal way." Pinkie said, pulling out a cannon out from under a bush.

Tex shrugged and resumed following Vinyl Scratch. Up in the sky, a familiar orange-yellow pegasus poked his head over one of the clouds and looked down at the black earth pony.

"This ought to be good. Tex is trying to make friends. I feel sorry for the poor soul that gets that title." Grif chuckled quietly as he watched Tex walk away with Vinyl. He began to smile sadistically, before slowly trailing them from above. "And that gives me an idea."

Lesson #3: Never Give Up

"Well, here we are." Vinyl said as they stopped in front of a tall building.

"This place looks familiar." Tex coughed.

"Lesson three, never give up!" Pinkie shouted as she and Pip soared over Tex and Vinyl's heads.

"You'll get used to her eventually, we all do." Vinyl noted when she saw a strained expression on Tex's face. She then opened the door and walked in. "Now come on, I'm already late."

"By how long?" Tex laughed.

"About an hour. Maybe three." Vinyl said impishly. "But it's not the weekend, and most ponies are still working, so the boss is a little bit lenient when it comes to that."

"Lucky you. The last boss I had was an asshole."

"You seem to know a lot of those kind of ponies."

"If only you knew the half of it." Tex said as she began to look around the bar.

"Listen, I'm going to go start, so you go by the bar and wait for somepony to drop by. Talk with 'em." Vinyl said as she began trotting away. "And be sure to tell them how awesome you think my music is, and if they ever need a DJ they should look me up."

Vinyl walked up to the music stand and flipped a couple switches and music began to play. Tex walked up to the bar and stood next to it, waiting for someone to come by.

"What can I get you?" The mare at the bar asked. Her eyes went wide when she saw Tex. "Oh, h-hello."

"Berry Punch, was it?" Tex asked icily.

"Yes." Berry Punch nodded quickly. "H-how are you liking Ponyville?"

"It's not too bad when everyone isn't running away from you."

"Sorry about that." Berry Punch said ashamedly. "It's just..."

"This place doesn't see a a lot of violence." Tex finished. "I'm not going to hurt you, so I'd like it if you'd stop acting like it."

"Not just that, but to take on three pegasi is sort of... well I wouldn't say out of the question, but still." Berry Punch said, then leaned in closer. "Most ponies just find it odd that a mare's talent is for hurting people directly. But the more people you do it to that deserve it, the more likely ponies are to accept you. Right now, ponies just think that you hurt the first thing that you came across."

"Hello everypony." A voice boomed from behind Tex.

Oh god. Tex thought as she turned around to see Grif standing at the entrance, looking around the club.

"Someone you know?" Berry Punch asked.

"I don't know him." Tex grumbled quickly, turning away from him so he could not see her. Please don't see me.

"Tex! How's my old buddy doing?" Grif called out from the other side of the club as he caught sight of her, trotting happily over to her.

Fuck.

"Get me and my pal a drink!" Grif smirked as he came to Tex's side.

"I don't want want any drink that you give me." Tex said threateningly.

"Aw, come on. I insist."

"It doesn't matter that you insist, you have to pay for it, you id-"

"On it." Grif said, placing a couple of bits on the counter.

"A couple of glasses of hard cider, coming up." Berry Punch nodded and grabbed the bits, before walking away to pour a few drinks for them.

"Where'd you get money?" Tex asked.

"Fluttershy's kind enough to pay me a tiny bit every now and then for helping her." Grif smiled, but it faltered slightly after a couple seconds. "Funny, I told her not to pay me, but every now and then I wake up with a few bits next to me."

"You mean you have a job too?"

"Sitting in the shade watching animals run around isn't what I'd consider a job, but y'know." Grif said dismissively.

"What are you doing here anyways?"

"Came to check up on my bestie." Grif sighed happily.

"Why don't you leave?"

"Come on Alli, don't be like that." Grif pouted, patting her on the back. "I know we have our- excuse me. I mean you have your issues, but that doesn't mean we can't resolve them now, right?"

"So you're friends?" Berry Punch asked as she pushed to glasses of hard cider towards them.

"The best." Grif corrected her, quickly drinking his.

"Thanks for the drink, I guess." Tex muttered, reaching for the drink.

Grif grabbed it out of her hoof and chugged it even faster than he ahad drank his own, and wiped his mouth. Tex's eye twitched and her til whipped to the side.

"Oh I'm sorry, I thought you had said something about not wanting any drink I gave you." Grif laughed. "Was I mistaken?"

"So how do you two know each other?" Berry Punch asked.

"Oh me an Allison go way back, isn't that right?" Grif smirked, throwing his foreleg around her to pull her closer.

"Yes, we do." Tex muttered tensely.

"Really?" Berry Punch asked. "I thought you said-"

"Don't worry, Allison can just be a bit of an idiot sometimes. She forgets a lot of things." Grif chuckled, tapping on her skull. "Hear that? Sounds practically empty."

"Funny." Tex grumbled.

"Well it's nice to meet you Grif." Berry Punch said with a smile.

"Isn't it?" Grif asked, dropping another few bits onto the counter. "Another round please."

As Berry Punch turned away, Tex grabbed Grif's wings and yanked them. He shot towards her and she grabbed him by his throat and lifted him off the ground.

"Something you want to tell me?" Grif asked sweetly, flapping his wings lightly so she could not suffocate him.

"If you don't leave right now, I swear I'm going to-"

"Hurt me in a public place? How will that make you look?" Grif interrupted. "So far you've been treating me... well not really as a friend, but you haven't said that you hated me. What will it look like if you hurt an innocent person?"

Tex lowered her hoof to the ground and made looked away from him.

"Poor Tex. Having to choose between having to choose between doing what she loves and being accepted." Grif said with fake sincerity. "It must be so difficult for you to choose-"

"Don't touch me there, you pervert!" Tex suddenly yelled.

"Wha-"

Tex grabbed the back of Grif's neck and slammed his face into the counter. He reached for his nose to stop the flow of blood that was now coming out, but Tex grabbed his left foreleg and twisted it sharply, causing him to cry out in pain. Grif turned towards her to loosen her grip, but as he did she slammed her hoof into his crotch.

"What's going on here?" Berry Punch asked, running up to them to see what was the matter.

"That pervert touched my ass!" Tex said weakly, sniffling lightly.

Berry Punch looked down to see Grif on the ground, holding his testicles as he rolled back and forth, blood steadily dripping out of his nose.

"I feel violated."

"Get out of here. Now!" Berry Punch snapped, pointing to the door.

Grif nodded weakly and began dragging himself out with his wings.

"I apologize about that, if I had known he wou-"

"Between you and me, he's not really a pervert." Tex said honestly.

"Then why-"

"He's just an asshole." Tex said and thought hesitantly for a moment, before sighing thoughtfully. "And as much as I'd love to spread around the fact that he's a pervert, I'm trying to stay away from doing that sort of thing now."

"Okay." Berry Punch said, adding a thin smile. "Can I get you a drink to get you through this difficult time in your life."

"I thought you'd never ask." Tex chuckled.

The music soon came to a stop, so Berry Punch walked away to go pour a few drinks for Tex, and the pony that tapped on Tex's shoulder.

"What happened back there?" Vinyl asked.

"Some guy I knew being an asshole."

"You seem to attract a lot of attention like that."

"Another day, another idiot." Tex shrugged.

"So what'd you think of my song?"

"Not bad. It really set the mood for the fight."

Berry Punch came back with two tall glasses of cider and placed one next to Tex and the other next to Vinyl.

"I still can't believe how rude he was to do that." Tex said jokingly.

"Stallions." Berry Punch noted as Tex began to drink. "Can't live with them, can't live without them."

"Nope." Tex agreed. "But that won't stop me from trying."

"I'll drink to that." Vinyl smiled.

A Way With Words

Fluttershy walked in to the main room and looked at the couch where Haley was asleep. She looked at the clock worriedly and went back into the kitchen. She looked at the clock in the kitchen to make sure the one in the living room was the right time. Angel opened the back door and ran up to Fluttershy and tapped on her leg.

"Did you find him?" Fluttershy asked.

Angel quickly shook his head, before he continued to tap on Fluttershy's leg.

"Do you want me to go somewhere?"

Angel shook his head once again. He began to smile, before opening his mouth and pointing to it.

"Oh, you're hungry. I'm sorry I should have realized." Fluttershy said as she walked up to one of the cupboards. "Are you sure you don't know where Grif is?"

Angel shrugged and resumed pointing to his mouth. Fluttershy sighed and reached for her cupboard when Haley suddenly began to bark.

"What is it girl?" Fluttershy asked as she ran into the next room.

There was a knock on the door. Fluttershy felt a wave of relief pass through her and she trotted up to the door. She opened it with a large smile, but it quickly turned into a frown when she saw the state in which Grif was in. His face had dried blood caked all over it, with a small stream of fresh blood coming out of his nose. His forelegs were in terrible shape, one of them was a bright purple color.

"Are you alright?" Fluttershy asked concernedly.

"I'm not alright, I'm Grif." Grif said as he began falling.

"Grif!" Fluttershy gasped running up to him, catching him before he fell to the ground. "Are you alright? What happened? Where did you-"

"Why are there five of you?" Grif wheezed. He took a deep breath, looked up to Fluttershy and opened his mouth to speak, right before slumping over, unconscious.

Grif woke up the next morning feeling extremely light headed. He tried lifting his left foreleg, but let out a small whimper when he felt an intense pain shoot through his upper body.

"Don't move." Fluttershy said softly. "I'm serious, you're in terrible shape. Your foreleg was almost broken and you lost a lot of blood."

"I'm fine." Grif groaned, trying to sit up, but yelled when the intense pain came back tenfold.

Fluttershy pushed him back down on the couch and shot him a serious expression. Grif sighed and lifted his left foreleg to examine it.

"I'm surprised you're up." Fluttershy said honestly.

"Why?" Grif asked as he saw a bandage tightly wrapped around his leg, and the skin under his orange hair was a purple mess. "Oh god, it's worse than I thought! I'm turning into Doc!"

Grif turned to Fluttershy with a smile, but there was no hint of humor in her eyes.

"What happened to you?"

"Nothing really..."

"It is not nothing." Fluttershy said firmly. "What happened?"

"Not much, just tried to make something go right, only for it to backfire horribly." Grif smiled sickly when he looked at Fluttershy. "You know, the usual."

"Please stop cracking jokes. I need to know how this happened."

"Tex."

"Go on." Fluttershy pressed.

"Tex did this to me." Grif said innocently.

"Why? From what I've seen, she may be a little rough, but-"

"A little violent?" Grif laughed. "Listen, I know that you and the other ponies here try to find good in everyone, but there is no good in Tex."

"You didn't let me finish. Tex may be a-"

"Complete bitch."

"-but something tells me she wouldn't do this for no reason." Fluttershy insisted. "Tell me everything that happened."

"After Tex came by to let off some steam, and by that I mean beat me half to death, but I flew up to the clouds and avoided her. And can I just stop right here for a moment and tell you how comfortable clouds are? Jesus Christ, they're the Adonis of the napping world. You wouldn't believe just how damn-"

"Grif." Fluttershy said lightly.

"Hey, that was the highlight of my week." Grif pouted, but saw Fluttershy giving him a soft look. He rolled his eyes. "Anyways, I napped for a bit, then decided to fly around for a bit."

"To get some exercise?"

"Hell no, I was trying to see if there were any comfier clouds." Grif snickered. "And yeah, turns out around Ponyville's market place has some really comfy clouds. Well that and it smelled of cookies. Can I just stop the story right here to tell you about how damn delicious-"

"Grif." Fluttershy repeated.

"Fine dammit. After a while I heard someone talking, and I looked down to see Tex talking to some other chick with weird glasses. Anyways, to make a long story short, Tex was trying to make friends so I followed her."

"To help her, right?" Fluttershy asked, though she already knew the answer.

"This is my story, okay? So Tex got to the little bar with that other chick then they went inside. I hesitated for a moment, but went in and met up with Tex. I pretended like we were long time friends, which probably gave her a little boost in morale. she probably figured I was trying to help her out."

"That was nice of you."

"And that's where my plan began."

"Plan?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yeah, I know she hates being around me, so naturally a latched onto her, pretending I hadn't seen her in a while. Then I bought her a drink, and when she went to drink it I took it away. And then I called her an idiot. You should have seen how she flipped out. It was damn hilarious." Grif smirked, but stopped when he felt another sharp pain in his upper body. "In hindsight, I could have stopped while I was ahead. Got a little ahead of myself. But whatever, after all she's done to me she deserves-"

"I think you should apologize." Fluttershy said quietly.

"What?" Grif yelped. "Why the fuck should I do that? Look at what she did to me!"

"She did it because you provoked her. She wouldn't have done that if you hadn't kept annoying her on purpose."

"But what about all the shit she's done to me before this?" Grif asked as he attempted to lift his foreleg, only to grunt in pain. "All the times in the past that she's threatened me, hit me-"

"Are just that. The past." Fluttershy said softly. "But she's trying to change, and whether you forgive her or not doesn't matter. She's trying not to be that pony anymore."

"Trust me, she can't change." Grif muttered as he rolled over, breaking eye contact.

"The least you could do is give her a shot with it before trying to stop her from being happy."

"But I don't want to be her friend."

"I'm not asking you to be her friend, I'm asking you to let her try to live a different life. Twilight told me quite a bit about Tex's past, like how she fails at almost everything she does. Maybe that even means that she'll fail at trying to get friends. Can you imagine what that must feel like? Not being able to feel success?"

"That's not my problem. Maybe she wouldn't fail so much if she wasn't such a bitch. She doesn't deserve an apology."

"I'm not telling you to apologize for her. I'm telling you to apologize for you."

"For me?" Grif chuckled. "How the hell is bowing down to her going to be good for me?"

"It shows that you're willing to give her a chance." Fluttershy said simply. "Please, do it for yourself."

Grif sighed and rolled off the couch and gave Fluttershy a look of curiosity.

"What's wrong?"

"How the fuck do you do it?"

"How do I do what?"

"I mean, you got Sarge to back the fuck off. That's enough to show me that if there is a god, he has an amazing sense of humor. But trying to get me to apologize to Tex? And actually getting me to even remotely consider it?"

"I ask nicely." Fluttershy smiled sweetly.

"Sounds like too much work to me."

"So will you say sorry?"

"I'm not making any promises..."

"I'm happy to hear you say that." Fluttershy nodded. "Now, I think you should get some rest."

"I was about to suggest the same thing." Grif snorted.

Fluttershy gave him a small reassuring smile and walked towards the front door. She reached for the handle, stopped, then looked back at Grif.

"You know, it might even make her slightly disappointed that you apologized. She thinks she was in the right for getting back at you like that. She's trying to be nice, so seeing you be nice before she can be nice back might make her dissapointed."

"I'll go tomorrow." Grif said before quickly falling asleep.

Apologies

Fluttershy came back in through the back door of her cottage and looked at the clock, which read eleven fifty in the morning. Fluttershy sighed and trotted into the living room, where Grif was sound asleep on the couch, snoring lightly, with Haley curled up at the other end of the couch. Haley glanced up to Fluttershy as she reached the couch and yawned. Fluttershy giggled as she began petting Haley on the head. Grif snorted, before resuming his light snoring.

"Grif, are you awake?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"I am now." Grif groaned sitting up on the couch.

"Sorry for waking you, normally I wouldn't, it's just that you said you would ap-"

"I know." Grif sighed, patting Haley on the head. "Can I have breakfast first?"

"Can't you eat after you're done with Tex? It won't take that long."

"But... breakfast."

"It's almost noon."

"You're right, it is a little early for breakfast." Grif said jokingly.

"I'm sure you'll feel much better once you've apologized."

"It'll probably feel more like ripping off a band-aid. And then pouring a jug of lemon juice on the wound. And then rubbing it in salt. Maybe throw in a few razor blades for good measure."

"It won't be that bad."

"You're right, scratch the razor blades." Grif agreed. "Just leave the salt and lemon juice."

Haley let out a low whine as Grif jumped off the couch, heading to the door.

"I'll come with you." Fluttershy said quietly as Grif opened the door.

"You know you don't have to do that, right?"

"I know, but you might need some moral support."

"Good point." Grif grunted. His stomach growled and he rubbed his belly. "God I'm hungry."

"I know." Fluttershy said sweetly.

Grif gave Fluttershy a small nod and they set off to the library. They walked in silence, mostly due to Grif trying to work out what exactly he was going to say. Once they got there, Grif hesitated a moment and stopped.

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked.

"Nothing, just my life flashing before my eyes, that's all..." Grif coughed. "Do you think... do you think you could get her out here? I don't want her to be near any blunt objects to throw at me."

Fluttershy nodded, still convinced that his words an actions were for naught. She quietly knocked on the door and waited a few moments. Once she realized that she knocked too lightly, she knocked harder, and this time there was an answer.

"Hang on a sec." Church said from inside. After nearly a minute, the door swung open and church stared at Fluttershy. "Hey Fluttershy. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, hello Church. I'm here with Grif."

"Fascinating." Church said as he looked at the broken Grif. "What happened to him?"

"Tex didn't tell you?" Fluttershy asked.

"No, but I figured it was her. How did you manage to get Grif to come here? Don't you know he still hasn't had breakfast by this time?"

"I know, but he promised he would apologize to Te-"

"Why would he do that? It looks like Tex should be the one that does the apologizing..."

"No, she hurt him in retaliation."

"Still." Church shrugged, but left it at that. "I'll go get her."

"Thank you." Fluttershy smiled as Church closed the door.

After a few more minutes, Tex opened the door to see Fluttershy looking at her fearfully.

"What's going on?" Tex asked suspiciously, and saw Grif sitting a few feet away.

Fluttershy walked behind Grif and began pushing him towards Tex. Once he was just a few feet away from her, Fluttershy stopped pushing him and walked a few feet behind him to watch him apologize.

"Hi..." Grif muttered reluctantly after a few seconds.

"Hi." Tex said icily. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Grif looked back at Fluttershy, and she gave him an encouraging smile.

"I came to-"

"Let me guess, try to make me get a bad reputation?" Tex interrupted with a rough laugh. "Well guess what, they didn't care. Besides, I already-"

"Shut up. Jesus, I'm having a hard enough time doing this as it is."

Tex eyed him warily, but nodded at him to proceed.

"I just wanted to say... sorry."

"I find that hard to believe." Tex snorted. "What are you really here for?"

"That's it. I'm sorry." Grif said hastily, wanting t get it over with. "I should have realized that you're at least trying to change, and even though you're an undeniable bitch, I shouldn't have done what I did. There I said it."

Grif let out a sigh of relief, happy that he was done, and looked to Tex who had a curious expression.

"You're serious, aren't you." Tex asked sincerely.

"Yeah, and I mean I didn't have to do anything anyways." Grif said with a laugh, trying to lighten the mood.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you fail at everything right? So if you try to make friends you'll just end up-"

Grif was interrupted mid-sentence due to Tex slamming her hoof in his nose, loosening the flow of blood once more as he soared several dozen feet away.

"You're an asshole." Tex hissed.

"And you're a colossal cunt." Grif coughed as he rolled on the ground.

"You shouldn't have even bothered coming here." Tex snapped, walking towards him.

"L-leave him alone." Fluttershy said slowly, stepping in front of Tex.

"Get out of my way."

"No." Fluttershy said firmly.

"No?" Tex echoed, surprised that she was getting in her way.

"N-no thank you."

"One more chance. I can understand Grif picking a fight with me, he's a jackass who can't think two seconds ahead, plus we have history. But you?" Tex laughed, walking past her. "What could you possibly do?"

"I'm asking nicely, please leave him alone." Fluttershy said quickly, beginning to grow slightly more forceful.

"Don't be an idiot."

Fluttershy glared at Tex for a brief moment, before shooting her eyes wide open, gazing at Tex. Tex stared into it for a brief moment and shivered. She quickly closed her eyes and dashed towards Fluttershy, not looking into her eyes. Fluttershy realized too late that her stare was not doing anything, so she turned around an began running. Tex lunged at Fluttershy an picked her up by her throat. Fluttershy tried flapping her wings, much like what Grif had done, but Tex pressed her against the ground.

"Stop it!" Grif snapped, jumping to his hooves.

"You're going to listen to me very closely." Tex said as she tightened her grip on Fluttershy's throat. "I don't give a shit who you think you are, or what the hell you're trying to do, but-"

"Let her go." Grif yelled, slamming his head into the side of Tex's jaw, sending her tumbling to the ground.

"I'm surprised you still have balls." Tex chuckled, clambering off the ground. She lunged at Grif and punched him in the side of the head, sending him flying half a dozen feet away from her. "Let's see if we can't fix that."

"Maybe this was a bad idea..." Grif grunted, attempting to get off the floor.

"You think?" Tex chuckled.

Grif tried to hit her with his hoof, but she side stepped the attack, then kicked him in his bad leg.

"God dammit, that's not fair!" Grif complained as she grabbed him by the throat, pinning him lightly to the ground.

"Tell you what, you happened to catch me in a good mood."

"You mean not one hundred percent bitch mood."

"Don't push it." Tex warned him. "And since I'm in a good mood, I'm open to suggestions to what happens next.

"You go your way, and I'll go mine?"

"Sounds good to me." Tex nodded, releasing her grip on Grif. "You better hope next time I'm in this mood or better, because I'm still pretty pissed about you trying to sabotage me. And next time, keep your little friend in line. I'd hate to have to hurt her, she seems nice."

"Yeah, she was the one that wanted me to apologize to you. She thinks that it's possible for you to get friends, which I disagree with completely." Grif said as he crawled off the floor. He looked over to Fluttershy, who was shivering in fear, and began walking towards her. "How are you doing over there?"

"Fine, t-thank you." Fluttershy said meekly, avoiding eye contact.

Grif gave her a weak smile, holding out his bad leg to her. She stared at it for a few seconds, then grabbed it. Grif yelled in pain and sat on the ground to take the pressure off of his injured limb.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sor-"

"Stop apologizing dammit." Grif chuckled, rubbing his nearly destroyed leg. He then extended his other foreleg to her. "That was my fault. Probably should have remembered that."

Fluttershy nodded slowly and reached for his good leg, and he pulled her up to her hooves.

"You hungry?" Grif asked idly.

"No. W-well, maybe a bit..."

"Good, because I'm fucking starving. Let's go grab some breakfast."

"But it's lunch time."

"Huh." Grif said as he looked at the sun. "Brunch it is."

"I didn't bring any bits..."

"I did." Grif smirked, pulling out a small satchel of bits out from under his wing.

"I'd feel bad if you paid for my food." Fluttershy said sheepishly.

"Hey, this money is practically yours anyways." Grif chuckled, but saw that Fluttershy was looking away from him. "Listen, I'm not going to hurt you. I had to hurt her to stop her from hurting you. I mean, who else is going to feed me and give me a place to stay?"

"Oh... I guess you're right." Fluttershy said sadly.

"That was a joke." Grif muttered as he rolled his eyes. "Seriously, how can you not tell by this point? Now come on, were grabbing some grub."

"Well... alright." Fluttershy said, blushing lightly. "Brunch it is."

Long Term Plans

Tex walked back into the library and sat by the table on which the Necronomicon lay.

"So who was it?" Church asked, taking a seat at the table with her.

"Just Grif." Tex murmured.

"Did you finally kill him yet?"

"Not yet. I think I'm going to wait that one out a bit, just in case this whole nice thing doesn't work out."

"It's always good to have a back up plan." The Necronomicon agreed.

"So what did he come here to say?"

"He apologized, surprisingly enough. Too bad he went and fucked it up, as usual." Tex sighed.

Church narrowed his eyes at her, detecting a tone of sadness in her voice.

"You heard it too?" The Necronomicon asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"Heard what?" Tex said snappishly as Twilight entered the room with Spike from the kitchen.

"Just the way you said that last sentence, that's all." Church muttered.

"What are you guys talking about?" Spike asked as he tossed a large sapphire into his mouth.

"Grif said something to Tex and it's making her act funny."

"Really?" Spike asked curiously, gulping down the crunched up gem. "What did he say?"

"Nothing."

"Uh-huh. It would take a hell of a lot of nothing for you to be affected by words." Church said seriously.

"I guess." Tex sighed again. "It's just something he brought up."

"Come on, you know he would say anything to piss you off."

"Maybe." Tex nodded with a small smirk, but it quickly disappeared when she resumed her train of thought. "But I was built on failure, and there's no way I can avoid that."

"And? You've known this for a long time."

"And now I feel that if I do make some friends, I'll just end up making them angry or something in the end, and it would all be for nothing. It just makes me feel... I don't know..."

"Helpless?" Twilight finished.

"Yeah, a little bit." Tex nodded.

"If you stop trying now, you'll just admit to yourself that you can't change. And I don't know you that well, but I know you aren't a fan of admitting defeat."

"Damn right." Tex grinned sadly. "I guess you're right. Might as well try, even if I am most likely going to fail. Hell, a few horses in town already seem to be sort of liking me, and that's already a step up from what I expected."

"Same here." Church commented. Tex quickly hit him on the back of the head, causing him to grunt in pain. "God dammit!"

"So what are you going to do now?" Twilight asked. "Keep trying to make the ponies you met your friends, or try and expand your circle of possible friends?"

"To be honest, I think I'm going to try and get a job." Tex shrugged, looking out the window.

"That's a good idea. Not only will it provide you with your own income, but maybe you could get some friends at that work, and maybe even meet some of the customers."

"Do you really think you can get a job here?" Church asked icily after he finished rubbing his head. "You're not really someone I'd see a cook hire. Well, maybe a butcher, but from what I've seen they don't eat a whole lot of meat here."

"If Grif and Tucker can get jobs, so can I." Tex growled.

"Grif has a job?" Church asked confusedly. "You're kidding, right?"

"No. Well he said it isn't a job, but that yellow chick gives him money for helping out. But if those two rejects can get one-"

"You kind of forgot to mention Simmons."

"That guy at least has a head on his shoulders, so I'm not all that shocked by that." Tex grunted, and thought for a few moments. "Though making dresses didn't really seem like the sort of thing he'd do. Seems more like the thing that pink fairy-"

"I make more than dresses." Simmons retorted as he opened the door to the library.

"Oh, hello Simmons, what are you doing here?" Twilight asked.

"Rarity wanted me to pick up a book for her on old fashions, do you have any books like that?"

"Yes, just give me a few moments to find it." Twilight said, rushing to the bookshelf.

"So you're trying to get a job?" Simmons asked, raising his brow at Tex. "I thought you'd be too busy killing Grif to do that sort of thing."

"Yeah, we decided to go our separate ways for now."

"Must have taken a lot of willpower to do that." Simmons noted dryly.

"You have no idea."

"Here it is, Equestrian Fashion Circa Pre Celestial Reign." Twilight said, giving Simmons the book with her magic. "Any idea what she's using it for?"

"Thanks." Simmons said as he grabbed the book with his own magic. "But yeah, she had a couple orders come in for some renaissance thing or something along those lines. She was given notice a few months in advance, so she's using this time to study up on it and make sure she has it under her belt."

"I still find it a bit weird seeing you pass things to each other like that." Tex muttered uneasily. "I can't really wrap my head around the whole supernatural thing."

"Yeah, so was I." Simmons nodded, tossing the book up into the air, releasing his magic grip on it, just to catch it as it began falling again. "Even now I still find it odd how I can do it, but hey, it's raised my productivity levels through the roof! Now I can sort several-"

"Boring stuff, got it." Tex smirked.

"Yeah, maybe to you." Simmons snorted, walking towards the door. "Thanks again, Twilight, this helps a lot."

"No problem. Tell her I'd love to see the dresses when they're done and if there are any other books she needs, they'll most likely be here."

"Will do." Simmons said, nodding to Spike, who nodded in return. "See you later Church. Tex."

Once Simmons had closed the door, Tex turned to Church and had a strange look about her.

"What is it this time?" Church asked, knowing something was on her mind.

"Nothing, just felt that his goodbye wasn't very sincere."

"Tell me about it, he didn't even say goodbye to me!" The Necronomicon pouted.

"Good news Tex, Simmons likes you more than the Book of Death." Church chuckled, patting her on her back. "You're working your way up already!"

"Shut up." Tex and the Necronomicon said in unison.

"Well Tex, if you really do want a job in Ponyville, perhaps I can help." Twilight coughed.

"How?"

"I can help you look around Ponyville for a job. I'm sure there are lots of places willing to hire you."

"See that optimism?" Tex asked, waving her hoof at Twilight as she looked at Church. She slowly turned to Twilight and gave her a rough smile. "I'd like that."

"Great. Do you want to start now, or-"

"I think I can wait day. Besides, I need a little rest." Tex said as she trotted up the stairs. "Not mangling Grif is tiring work."

"Well stay on your side of the damn bed." Church called out as Tex reached the top of the stairs. "I'm tired of you taking up half the damn blankets."

"Cry me a river."

The door above the steps slammed shut, silencing the group.

"Her attitude certainly fluctuates." The Necronomicon muttered after a few minutes. "Hey, I think I may have a spell to make her more docile."

"Really?" Church asked with mild curiosity.

"Yup. Though I'm not sure how much she'd like being a mindless husk."

"Probably not a lot."

"We won't know if we don't try!"

"That's true." Church agreed with a smirk.

Twilight shot Church and the Necronomicon a glare, telling them off.

"As tempting as that is, I think we should let her try to not be a bitch on her own." Church sighed.

"Good." Twilight said with a smile. "Come on Spike, let's go see if we can't help Rarity with anything."

"Okay!" Spike smiled, jumping onto Twilight's back.

"We'll be back in an hour or so." Twilight said as she left the library.

The Necronomicon looked over to Church and coughed. Church looked over to him and nodded.

"So now that she's gone..."

"Give it a month." Church said after he thought for a moment. "Two max, then we'll go from there."

"Deal."

Conditioning

Simmons slowly made his way through Ponyville, saying a quick greeting to each pony he passed, becoming more known throughout the town. Simmons was warming up to the community, almost everyone he saw he knew, be they friends with Rarity or past customers. Once he neared the Carousel Boutique, he started humming a small tune. He walked up to the door to the boutique and reached to open it.

"What are you humming?" A high pitched voice asked from behind him.

"Huh?" Simmons asked, immediately stopping the tune. He turned around and saw no one behind him. "Who said that?"

"Down here." Said the voice.

"Oh." Simmons said, looking down to see Sweetie Belle looking up to him. "I was just humming a bolivian orchestral mashup. You've probably never heard of it."

"It sounded really good." Sweetie Belle smiled.

"Really? Not a lot of people like that sort of stuff." Simmons said thoughtfully. "Hey, I could teach you some if you'd like."

"Maybe later." Sweetie Belle nodded. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

"You were? Where's Applebloom and Scootaloo?" Simmons asked.

"They're at the club house right now, now come on, we need your help!"

"Uh, sure, what do you need?"

"We need your help organizing us. We figured we should start making a list of what we've done in the past to make sure we don't do it again."

"Okay, just give me a minute, I have to give this book to Rarity, then I'll see if she needs anything else." Simmons said as he opened the door to the boutique.

"Okay." Sweetie Belle said impatiently. "Just don't be too long, okay?"

"I'll try to not keep you waiting." Simmons said sincerely as he walked into the boutique.

Rarity was inside, scrawling on a piece of paper, trying to finish up another design, when Simmons coughed discreetly. Rarity continued working on the design, focus completely set on the paper. Simmons coughed again, this time extremely loudly.

"Ah, there you are. Sorry about that, I just get so wrapped up in my work that I sort of lose track of everything else." Rarity said with a smile.

"So I've noticed." Simmons smirked.

"Did Twilight have any books on the subject?"

Simmons nodded and placed the book next to Rarity.

"Perfect!" Rarity exclaimed as she began flipping through the pages. "This will serve as a great reference, thank you for doing this Simmons. I simply didn't have the time what with this being prime design season."

"Don't mention it." Simmons dismissed. "Need anything else?"

"Er, no, not right now, why?"

"Your sister wants me to help organize her club a bit to make them work more efficiently."

"Why didn't she ask me?" Rarity asked. Simmons looked at the stacks of paper next to Rarity, causing her to look at it as well. She grinned sheepishly and nodded at Simmons. "That is a valid point. No, I do not need anything else at the moment."

"Okay." Simmons said hesitantly. "Are you sure you don't need any help? I mean, that is a lot of work you have piling up."

"Nonsense, go help my sister." Rarity snickered, waving her hoof at the door.

Simmons nodded and walked out the door to go talk to Sweetie Belle and Rarity resumed her work. Rarity continued looking at the references, trying to get the outfit just right, when something tapped on her shoulder.

"I'm a little busy at the moment right now." Rarity said, erasing a bit of the dress she was working on.

"I'm sure you can make the time." Twilight said, pulling Rarity's attention away from the dress once again.

"Hello Twilight." Rarity said with a shaky smile.

"Hello Rarity." Spike coughed.

"Oh, hello Spike. How's my favorite dragon doing?"

"Good." Spike said, puffing his chest to make him look larger.

"My, look how strong you're getting." Rarity said sweetly.

"Are you too busy to talk right now?" Twilight asked as her eyes set on the pile of paper next to Rarity.

"Nonsense, it will be nice to have someone to have a nice mare to mare conversation with."

"What about Simmons?"

"Don't get me wrong, Simmons is a dear, but he simply isn't that much for conversation when it comes to certain things."

"What do you mean certain things?" Spike asked curiously.

"Well, when it comes to organization he talks quite a bit, and he is one of the few people who agrees with organized chaos, but there are certain topics where he falls flat."

"Such as?"

"Well, when I talk about dresses he simply nods and barely talks." Rarity huffed as she took a piece of paper and made a rough sketch of a dress on it. "Too be honest, I think he may not particularily like his talent."

"Don't take it personally. You have to remember that the two ponies he spent most of his time with was Sarge and Grif. Church told me about that Donut friend of theirs, and while I think he sounds nice, they treated him rather poorly."

"That is true." Rarity tutted as she shook her head. "Poor dear, having to have spent so much time with those brutes, wasting his talents."

"He didn't really seem to mind that fact though, he gets along pretty well with the others."

"Well he would have to. I can't imagine being forced to live with them and not trying to at least pretend to like them. I mean really now, as much as I like the others, Sarge seems too violent and Grif seems too lazy. I'm surprised after all that time he is still as refined and well spoken as he is." Rarity said as she dropped the pencil and looked at her drawing with a large smile. She used her magic and placed the paper next to Twilight. "What do you think?"

Twilight picked up the sketch and began looking it over. It was a classically simple strapless gown made out of an embroidered material, which Twilight believed would be silk. The underskirt was less-heavily embroidered with an asymmetrical overpanel. There was a tall, feathered hat on the ponies head, the rim of which extended out several inches, and along tip of the rim hundreds of threads hung down, masking the ponies face.

"Well?" Rarity asked as Twilight placed it on the table.

"It's beautiful." Twilight smiled. "How many of these do you have to make?"

"Half a dozen dresses and half a dozen suits, each one with an accompanying hat." Rarity said, looking at the drawing once again, before erasing the hat completely off of the sketch. "This is going to take a while. Thank Celestia they had the decency to give me more than a few weeks notice."

"That's a lot of work." Spike noted. "Are you sure you can handle it?"

"It is, isn't it?" Rarity giggled. "But don't you worry Spikey, Simmons will be a great help with that."

Spike huffed and crossed his arms, falling silent as he began to think.

"You don't seem to worried." Twilight said, ignoring Spike's attitude.

"I suppose having someone to help relieves a lot of the tension off of the work."

"Didn't you say that Simmons didn't like making dresses?"

"He doesn't like talking about it, but I see a bit of creative flair in his eyes when he is working, which makes me sad that he doesn't get verbal with it. I would really love to hear his ideas." Rarity said, then gasped. "Oh no."

"What's wrong?"

"I think the reason he does not like to talk about dresses is that he thinks I'll get angry at him."

"Why would he think that?" Twilight asked with a smile.

"Last time he did something on one of my works, I was rather rude to him." Rarity said sadly, shaking her head at herself. "I really should have apologized to him more thoroughly."

"I don't think-"

"What if he thinks I'm a beast?" Rarity pouted.

"Come on Rarity-"

"Oh dear, I am a beast! What if he doesn't want to help me anymore?" Rarity asked, eyes shooting wide with horror. "What if he doesn't help with the order? I won't be able to design and create a dozen articles on my own! I simply won't have the time to do it! And if i don't get it done, word will spread that I don't finish my work!"

Rarity continued babbling, until eventually she stood on her hind legs, rose her right hoof to her head and brought a couch away from the wall, intending to fall back on it. Twilight rolled her eyes and used her magic to push the couch back up against the wall, causing Rarity to fall to the ground with a yelp. Rarity stared at Twilight as she got up and began rubbing her neck, pouting heavily.

"I'm sure the reason he doesn't talk about dresses is because the others would chastise him for it." Twilight said simply.

"That makes sense too." Rarity said in agreement.

"Where is Simmons anyways?" Twilight asked, looking around.

"He's helping Sweetie Belle and her friends right now."

"That doesn't sound like too much work."

Organizing

"So what's the plan?" Simmons asked as he and Sweetie Belle walked through town.

"Well we need to organize, but we have no idea where to go from there..."

"Fortunately for you, I do." Simmons said courteously, before turning towards the market.

"Where are you going? The club house is this way."

"We'll need some supplies if you want to do this seriously, otherwise what's the point?" Simmons asked, turning to Sweetie belle who had a look of bafflement on her face, causing him to chuckle. "Hey, I have fun with this sort of stuff. Now come on, it's only one stop."

Sweetie Belle nodded and followed Simmons into the marketplace. He scoured each of the stalls they passed until he came to one with a bottle of ink and a quill labeled on the sign. He smiled and motioned Sweetie Belle to walk towards it.

"Hello Simmons." The light blue mare at the stand said as she saw the maroon unicorn approach her.

"Good afternoon Tran Quill." Simmons nodded, turning to Sweetie Belle.

"You know her?" Sweetie Belle asked curiously.

"I come by here almost every other day to pick up supplies." Simmons said, smiling at Tran Quill.

"Oh yes, Simmons here is one of my new best customers." Tran Quill smiled cheerfully. "So what do you need today?"

"I'll need about twenty-six pieces of paper, a few bottles of ink and a pair of quills."

"Anything else?" Tran Quill asked as she reached under the stand to pull the supplies out.

"No that's it for now." Simmons said, looking for his money. "Uh, do you think I can pay you back tomorrow? I forgot my-"

"I know you're good for it." Tran Quill nodded, placing the supplies in a large back, which Simmons placed on his back with his magic.

"Thanks." Simmons said with a sigh of relief, walking away. "I promise I'll be back tomorrow."

"If not tomorrow, then the day after, like usual."

"Yeah." Simmons nodded as he walked away from the stand with Sweetie Belle. "Okay, we're all set. Now lead the way."

"Okay, but let's hurry, we're almost late."

"We are?" Simmons asked quickly. "Where is your clubhouse?"

"It's near Sweet Apple Acres, but it's no big-" Sweetie Belle began, but was quickly enveloped in a maroon flash, and when she opened her eyes she found herself standing in front of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' Headquarters. "-deal. Was that necessary?"

"Being punctual is the first step towards organizing your time, and organization is what I'm here for." Simmons said sternly. "Now come on, we don't want to keep them waiting, do we?"

"I guess not." Sweetie Belle shrugged.

Simmons quickly walked up the ramp and tried to open the door, but found it to be locked. He looked confusedly at the handle and pulled it again to make sure. He then shrugged and knocked on the door four times.

"Who is it?" A deep, obviously forced, voice asked from inside.

"It's Simmons."

"Come on Scoots, let us in." Sweetie Belle said, taking her turn to knock on the door.

"What's the password?" Scootaloo asked from inside, no longer masking her voice.

"It's us." Simmons said, knocking on the door again.

"How do we know it's you if you don't say the password?"

"When did we get a password?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"When you were away. That is, assuming you really are who you say you are."

"How will we know the password if we were away when you made it up?"

"That's just the sort of thing I would expect a spy to say."

"A spy? What would give you that idea?"

"Well Sarge said-"

"Password." Simmons said loudly, interrupting Scootaloo.

The door's lock made a clicking noise, then swung open to reveal Scootaloo smiling up at him.

"Enough of the games, time to get working." Simmons said, trotting up to the table at the end of the clubhouse, laying each of the supplies net to each other in a neat and orderly fashion. "I'm glad you girls asked for my help, this place looks like it needs a lot of organizing."

"That's what Sarge said you would say. He said that organizing was what you were good at and that you're the best in the field!" Scootaloo said.

"Really? He said that?" Simmons asked ecstatically.

"Well, not with that many words." Scootaloo said sheepishly.

"What did he say?"

"Well he said that you were good with the boring stuff..."

"Oh. Great." Simmons muttered, letting out a sigh. "Alright, where should we start?"

"I guess we should start by organizing everything."

"Okay, hang on a second." Simmons grunted, horn beginning to glow faintly.

Using his magic, he grabbed over two dozen pages of lined paper and quickly began drawing lines on them with a pencil. As he finished with each piece of paper, he placed them on the table before continuing on to the next sheet. Scootaloo grabbed the first piece of paper he placed on the table and looked at it. There were four columns going straight down the piece of paper. The column on the left took up half the page, while the remaining three columns took up an even amount of the remaining space. At the top of the left column was the letter 'A', and the next three columns had their names in alphabetical order.

"What's this for?" Applebloom asked after Scootaloo showed it to them.

"You wanted this to be organized, so that's what I'm doing." Simmons said, finishing several more pieces of paper.

"What's the letter on the top for?" Sweetie Belle asked curiously.

"Each page has a different letter on it so you can keep it alphabetized. I'd recommend grabbing a cabinet so you can put folders in it, just in case you get more than one page of the same letter."

"Well then why are our names here? We only need to know what we've tried.

"I figured that sometimes you guys may try something when one of the others isn't there, so once you write the activity you've done, you can put a check mark under your name saying you've tried it, so whoever didn't do that thing can try it later."

"Wow, you really are good at organizing." Scootaloo smiled.

"Thanks." Simmons nodded, placing the last piece of paper on the table. "There, now let's get started. I need you to name off all the activities you've done. Or at least all the ones you can remember off the top of your head. Start with the ones you've done as a group."

"Let's see..." Sweetie Belle said, scratching her chin. "Oh, we've tried hairdressing!"

Simmons nodded and grabbed the paper labeled 'H' and wrote hairdressing, and he made a trio of check marks, one in each of the remaining columns.

"We've tried mountain climbing and underwater exploring too!" Scootaloo piped.

"Okay." Simmons said, quickly writing the activity on their respective pages, followed by checking under their names as they said each thing they've tried.

"We've also tried mind-reading." Sweetie Belle continued.

"And taffy makin' as well as pig farmin'!"

"You tried pig farming?" Simmons chuckled as he grabbed a sheet to write it down.

"Yeah, an' thinkin' back on it, ah'm sorta glad we didn't get our marks for doin' that."

"You should be." Simmons smirked, jotting it down.

"We've also tried being librarians." Sweetie Belle coughed nervously.

"Are you sick?"

"No, it's just I don't think Twilight liked that very much."

"We kinda ruined the place." Scootaloo said impishly.

"We've also done chicken herdin'. That's all ah can remember, how about you girls."

"Not really." Scootaloo said.

"Oh, we tried writing for the school newspaper." Sweetie Belle exclaimed. "But that's all I can think of..."

"Okay, then how about the things each of you have tried on your own?"

"I tried my hoof at sewing, but it didn't work out." Sweetie Belle said sadly.

"It wasn't all bad, at least we got some sweet capes out of it." Scootaloo said, cheering Sweetie Belle up.

"Ah tried bein' a choreographer." Applebloom said, trying to think of more things they've done.

"And I tried singing."

Simmons nodded and quickly checked each of the sheets for any errors. Once he triple checked each of the pages, he stacked them in alphabetical order and turned to the girls.

"Is that it?"

"No, now we need your help coming up with ideas for things for us to do." Scootaloo said hastily.

"You can't do that by yourselves?" Simmons asked curiously.

"Well, we can, but it would be easier if we had someone who was really smart to help us seeing as we've been batting zero ever since we started."

"So we just need to brainstorm ideas for things for you girls to do?"

"Yup." The girls said in unison.

"Sounds easy enough."

Stress

"So who was the guy who ordered all this stuff?" Spike asked as he sat on the table, looking through the pile of rough sketches.

"A very wealthy pony from Manehatten." Rarity muttered idly a she drew another quick sketch. She scowled and drew a small 'X' in the corner, signifying that the drawing was unacceptable. "No, this will never do."

"What are you talking about?" Spike asked, grabbing the drawing to examine the intricate dress. "They look fine to me."

"Exactly! It's just fine. He is not paying for fine, he is paying for perfection. He needs them to look genuine, not just a copy." Rarity huffed, crossing her forelegs on the table, eyeing the pile of denied designs. "None of those are anywhere near what they should be in terms of quality."

"Well you certainly have the quantity to make up for it." Twilight noted quietly. "There must be dozens of designs in there. How are none of them acceptable?"

"There's actually one hundred and forty three designs in there, and none of them are acceptable because they're all terrible!"

Twilight sighed, knowing nothing she could say would help Rarity in her current state of mind. Instead she grabbed a few of the designs with her magic and began examining them. Each piece was beautifully detailed and looked as if she copied them out of the book itself. Sighing, Twilight placed the designs back on the pile and used her magic to pick up Spike and placed him on her back.

"What gives?" Spike asked warily.

"Nothing, I just figured maybe we were being a distraction." Twilight said sincerely, eyes focused on Rarity.

"You aren't being a distraction." Rarity tutted, flashing a quick smile to Twilight.

"Even so, it's getting pretty dark out." Twilight sighed, looking at the clock that sat above the door.

"I guess it is rather late." Rarity agreed, adding a quick 'X' to another drawing. "But I should at least get one design done before I move on."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Please Twilight, I'm a professional." Rarity said with a small laugh. "Besides, if I don't get at least one done soon, how can I expect to get twelve done?"

"I'll talk to you later Rarity." Twilight sighed dismissively, shaking her head as she neared the door.

"Good night Twilight. Good night Spike." Rarity said as Twilight opened the door, turning her attention back to the drawings.

"G'night." Spike muttered as they left the boutique, closing the door behind them.

Rarity's ears perked when she heard the door shut, and she yawned lightly. She turned to the pile of designs and spread them out on the table to gt a better look at them.

What am I doing wrong? Rarity though to herself, grabbing one of the sketches that she made of a suit and began studying it, noting every flaw. The hat? May be a tad rambunctious. The neck tie? Too poofy. The suit? Too formal, not dark enough. The tail of the suit? Not formal enough, too long.

She tossed the paper back on the pile and used her magic to take a cushion off of the couch. She fluffed it to make it more comfortable then placed it on the table, where she began banging her head on the table. After a few seconds of that she placed her chin on the cushion, feeling defeated. There was a small knock on the door, causing Rarity to throw the cushion back on the couch and perk up.

"Come in." Rarity said sweetly.

The door swung open and Simmons strolled in, bags under his eyes. Rarity stared at him concernedly as he slowly trudged inside.

"Hello." Simmons sighed as he walked past her.

"Oh dear, Simmons are you look positively tired." Rarity said worriedly. "What happened?"

"Nothing. We came up with two thousand eight hundred and seventy two different ways for them to try and get their cutie marks." Simmons grunted, plopping down on the couch. "We started with accounting, but I think they may be a bit too young for that. Do you think they're too young for accounting? I'm too exhausted to tell."

"I'm not sure." Rarity said honestly, approaching Simmons. "But it's nice to hear that you managed to help out their little club and run through the entire alphabet of-"

"We finished up llama ranching, so we're only half way done." Simmons interrupted lightly. He then groaned and began rubbing his eyes. "Wait, are llamas people here too? I mean you have zebras so how do I know if you have llamas. Are giraffes people too? I hope that didn't sound racist. I mean I'm Dutch-Irish, and that isn't exactly-"

"Simmons, you're over tired and over worked." Rarity said in a hushed voice. Eyeing him carefully, she formed a quick idea. "You need a small vacation."

"I may need some rest, but I doubt I need any actual vacation."

"I will hear none of that Simmons, I insist. You need a break." Rarity said, floating the book in front of her to look at it. "In fact I may take a few days off myself."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? You have a lot of orders to fulfill..."

"We have the time." Rarity shook her head, placing the book back on the table. "We have a few months until we have to complete those designs, and even then we only have a few orders to fulfill. Besides, it is always necessary to take a break once and a while."

"Overworking does lead to stress, anxiety and insomnia..."

"An excellent point." Rarity agreed, taking a seat on the couch next to him. "So what say you, Simmons? Care to take a few nights off and relax?"

"But I promised the girls that I would help them finish organizing. We're only halfway through the alphabet, then I have to go out and get folders and-"

"Nonsense. They have two thousand eight hundred and seventy two different activities to do until they need you again. I'm sure they can wait a few measly days."

"I guess that's true." Simmons shrugged.

"Great." Rarity smiled happily.

Simmons stared quietly at Rarity, eyes not shifting slightly.

"Is something the matter?" Rarity asked hesitantly.

"I don't do breaks a lot." Simmons murmured thoughtfully. "What exactly do I do?"

"Well for one, you should stop thinking too hard." Rarity said amusingly.

Simmons nodded and began floating a piece of paper along with a quill over to the couch.

"You don't need to take notes." Rarity giggled, using her magic to put the paper and quill back to where they were. She looked at the clock and back to Simmons. "For starters we can go out for a meal together in an hour or so."

"You want to go to dinner together?"

"What's a meal between friends?"

"I guess, sure." Simmons nodded tiredly.

"Great." Rarity smiled again. She looked back at the pile of designs and hummed. "I guess I should put that away this stuff..."

"Give me a few minutes and I'll help." Simmons said as he got off the couch.

"Thank you but that's unnecessary." Rarity said, using her magic to put him back on the couch. "Have some rest, you of all ponies deserve it."

"I can help just a little bit." Simmons grunted, getting off the couch again.

"Simmons, you've done enough for tonight." Rarity said reassuringly, once again using her magic to put him back on the couch.

"But I want to help." Simmons whined, starting to get off the couch.

"I know you do." Rarity chuckled lightheartedly. She used her magic and placed him on his side so his head was on the cushion, where she held him in place until he stopped trying to get up. "Don't worry, I'll wake you up when it is time to go."

"You know, I can sort of see why Grif likes sleeping now." Simmons said, head sinking into the cushion. "This thing is really comfy."

"Much like my clothing, I expect my furniture to be top of the line originals." Rarity said as she quickly sorting the pile into two separate, smaller piles, one for dresses and one for suits. After two minutes she was done sorting, so she put them into two separate drawers. Feeling a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she turned to Simmons and smiled. "Simmons, would you be a dear and-"

Rarity stopped mid-sentence when she saw Simmons' eyes closed as he snored lightly, already asleep. She smirked and grabbed one of the folded silk sheets and threw it over Simmons as she trotted upstairs to get ready for dinner.

Choices

Six hours prior.

Grif and Fluttershy walked into the center of Ponyville's market area, watching the ponies go about their business. Grif paused in front of one of the stands and looked up to the sky. Fluttershy stood by his side for a few moments, wondering what he was looking at.

"Nice day out." Grif noted as the sun reached the highest point in the sky.

"Yes, it is." Fluttershy agreed.

"So, uh, know of any good places to eat? I've only really been to the market with you so I don't know of any place to eat..."

"I think so." Fluttershy nodded, walking slightly ahead of Grif. "It's not too far from here, and the food is really good."

"Great!" Grif smirked, quickly following her.

Fluttershy quickly led Grif to a small restaurant that had a leg high fence surrounding a small chunk of the property, so patrons of the restaurant could eat outside. Most of the tables on the outside had ponies sitting at them, chatting away while a stallion cleared the tables that had no diners. Fluttershy stopped by the gate of the fence where there was a small podium with a silver bell on it.

"I will be with you in a second." The stallion who was clearing one of the empty tables said quickly as he pushed a trolley with a large amount of plates inside the restaurant.

"Looks like a nice place." Grif said passively as he looked around. "Come here often?"

"Not really. I almost never eat in public."

"Why's that?"

"I don't know, I just prefer eating in the comfort of my cottage."

"Eating the same stuff doesn't get boring to you? I mean, I'm kinda getting tired of your cooking."

"Oh, I'm sorry, if I knew-"

"Don't get me wrong, I like the food you make, it's just nice to let others do the work for once, y'know?"

"I guess."

"I apologize for the wait." The stallion who cleared the tables said as he came out of the restaurant. "How may I help you."

"Table for two." Grif said pleasantly.

"Will you be dining inside or outside?"

Grif looked to Fluttershy, but she simply shrugged in response.

"Outside I guess."

"Excellent choice." The waiter smiled, looking at the available tables from the podium. "This way, please."

The waiter led them to a medium sized table with four chairs sitting next to it.

"I hope you don't mind, but this is the only table that has not been reserved."

"A couple extra chairs ever hurt anyone." Grif shrugged. "Besides, more room for food, right?"

"Quite." The waiter nodded approvingly. Once Fluttershy and Grif had taken seats, the waiter grabbed a few menus and gave them to the pair.

"So what's good?" Grif asked, eyeing the menu curiously a the waiter poured them two glasses of water.

"I'd like to believe that the entire menu is good, but I would recommend the veggie pizza. It's our most popular dish, so there is usually one being prepared at all times."

"Sounds good to me." Grif nodded, placing the menu on the table.

"We'll share it." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Very well." The stallion nodded as he placed the pitcher on the trolley. He then grabbed the menus and placed them next to the water pitcher. "Would you care for anything else?"

Grif looked at Fluttershy and raised his brow.

"No thank you." Fluttershy said faintly.

"Okay, I will check with the cook, but I believe your food should be out momentarily." The stallion said, placing a small basket filled with fruit in the middle of the table.

"Thank you." Fluttershy smiled warmly as the stallion went back inside.

"So." Grif said as he grabbed a pear out of the basket.

"So." Fluttershy repeated quietly, watching Grif as he rubbed the pear clean. "How do you manage?"

"How do I manage what?"

"To live so care free. You've shown that you care for things, but you seem perfectly content not to do so."

"I just got it figured, y'know?" Grif said as he took a bite out of a pear. He eyed it contemptibly before placing it back on the table.

"Do you not like pears?"

"I miss my oreos." Grif sighed before continuing. "Anyways, I just find it funny how much people try to please others. Like take Simmons for example. Back when we were always fighting the Blues, Simmons always had his nose up Sarge's figurative ass. You know what that got him?"

"What?"

"Nothing." Grif chuckled. "Years of ass kissing, buttering up, trying to make Sarge happy and he has nothing to show for it! Then look at me. I went out of my to not please anybody on several occasions."

"What about you constantly being harmed?"

"Details."

"Well if you go out of your way to not help anybody, then why do you help me?"

"Huh." Grif said thoughtfully. "Y'know, I never really thought about that."

"Your food." The waiter muffled, holding a large tray in his teeth.

Grif broke into a smile as the waiter placed the large pizza on the table and walked away.

"This looks awesome." Grif said as he tore off a piece of pizza and threw it in his mouth.

"So why do you help me?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

"Dunno." Grif said, swallowing the whole slice. "You're pretty cool, I guess."

"Thank you." Fluttershy blushed lightly. "But I'm not all that cool..."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well I used to get picked on a lot in Cloudsdale."

"I find that hard to believe." Grif laughed.

"No, it's true." Fluttershy said sadly. "It's embarrassing. I wasn't the best flyer in Cloudsdale, and that's what pegasi are supposed to do. I was a disappointment."

"Says who?"

"Um... nobody really..."

"Look, soldiers are supposed to fight, but you don't see me doing any of that shit. Doing the opposite of what you're supposed to do makes life interesting. People can get angry at you, and maybe even pick on you, but why the fuck should you care what they say? As long as you're comfortable doing what you do, that's all that should matter." Grif said confidently. "Are you comfortable with what you do?"

"Oh yes, of course." Fluttershy nodded.

"Then to hell with everyone else. You're happy, that's all that should matter."

"I guess." Fluttershy sighed pensively.

"So who were these guys that made fun of you?"

"Just some mean stallions. They're the ones that-"

"-Tex beat up?" Grif asked to which Fluttershy responded to with a nod. "Glad Tex kicked their asses then. Though I guess I'd be saying that about anyone that's bent over and on the receiving end that isn't me."

"Come on, you have to let me have that one." A voice begged from behind Grif.

Grif spun around to see Tucker and Rainbow Dash on the other side of the fence.

"No, I'm still mad at you for getting us into this mess." Rainbow Dash growled, a small bead of sweat rolling down her face.

"You know I'm not good with words, I'm better with my-"

"What are you guys doing here?" Grif asked curiously.

"Well Tucker here thought it would be a good idea to tell our boss that Caboose died and then that got better." Rainbow Dash said icily, not looking at Tucker. "Now we have to work extra time, and we were given extremely short notice, so hopefully you can see why I'm a little angry."

"Calm down there Tex." Grif chuckled dryly.

"You want to know something?" Rainbow Dash asked snappishly, hopping over the fence.

"Here." Grif said, holding up the tray to Rainbow Dash as she came to his side.

"No, I'm good." Rainbow Dash said firmly.

"Just take a damn slice and relax. You'll find this funny when you look back on it."

"See?" Tucker asked, hopping over the fence to take a seat between Grif and Fluttershy.

Rainbow Dash mumbled something under her breath, then took a seat on the other side of Fluttershy.

"You have no idea how glad I am to see pizza here. I was beginning to think that apples and hay were all there was to eat around here."

"Maybe if you learned how to make food you wouldn't have to only eat that stuff!"

Fluttershy gave Rainbow Dash a small glance, telling her not to yell.

"Sorry Flutters, just a little tired." Rainbow Dash said quietly with a weak smile.

"I know." Fluttershy said reassuringly. She stared at the pizza and grabbed a small slice to nibble on.

"You know, I think I should protest what you guys do." Grif said half jokingly. "You guys kick the clouds out of the sky, but they're the comfiest thing I've ever had the pleasure of napping on. That should be considered destroying fine art."

"I know, I've had my fair share of naps on 'em." Rainbow Dash chuckled in agreement. "But with the clouds blocking the sun, nothing can grow. Heck, most of the food we eat wouldn't be here without the pegasi clearing the sky."

"So it's basically a choice between food and a sleeping area."

"Yup."

"Tough choice."

Dinner Plans

Fluttershy looked around the area at all the patrons of the restaurant while Rainbow Dash, Tucker and Grif continued talking about things that did not interest her. Occasionally they'd ask her a question, but she would only ever respond with a nod. Eventually she turned her attention back to the conversation when she felt it was nearing an end.

"The market was always the best place for a nap." Rainbow Dash snickered after Grif had told her he preferred it there.

"I know right? If I knew it smelled so good there, I would have started coming to town more often."

"Yeah, that's usually because the Cakes cook all day."

"So that was that smell." Grif laughed.

"If you tell Pinkie that you nap there she'll probably try to sneak out a few treats for you."

"Really? That sounds awesome." Grif chuckled, thinking about making the market his designated nap area. "Wait, is she allowed to do that?"

"The Cakes always make too much in case there is ever a really busy day. They think it's better to be over prepared than under prepared, so they usually end up throwing away some of it at the end."

"That sucks. But yeah, I'll definitely ask her if she can bring me something to munch on while I sleep." Grif nodded, turning to Tucker. "So have you had any cupcakes recently?"

"Fuck you." Tucker grinned sickly.

"That's too bad. I went back there when we brought Caboose back, and those cupcakes were fucking delicious. When I had that first one I suddenly felt like I could eat a horse."

"Hey Tex." Tucker nodded behind Grif.

"Where?" Grif yelped, ducking under the table. "She said we would try to stay out of each others way, so why is she he- she's not here, is she?"

"Nope." Tucker chuckled, grabbing a slice of the pizza.

"So what are you guys doing here?" Rainbow Dash asked quietly, sitting back in the chair as she ate a slice of the pizza while Grif got back up to his chair. "I thought Fluttershy didn't like eating in public."

"N-no, I don't mind it. It's usually just on special occasions." Fluttershy said sheepishly, picking at the piece of pizza in front of her.

"Uh-huh. Well what's the special occasion then?"

"I don't know." Fluttershy said as she nibbled on her slice. "I just felt like mixing it up a little, I guess."

"Hey, maybe we should round up the others and go somewhere together." Tucker said as he finished his slice.

"Why?" Grif asked.

"Well we don't really need a reason to eat."

"We could celebrate Tex getting her cutie mark and trying to fit in..." Fluttershy suggested.

"Fuck that, we're having a ceasefire right now!" Grif said hastily. "I think I shouldn't be anywhere near her since the smallest thing will make her go off on me."

"She might be more open to being nice to you if you did this though." Fluttershy said quietly.

"You would think so." Grif smirked to himself.

"Just try not to say things that'll piss her off." Tucker said helpfully.

"You're one to talk." Rainbow Dash snorted.

"Yeah, well... yeah."

"Fine, but if she kills me I'll be pissed." Grif sighed.

"Of course you will." Tucker nodded, turning to look at the clock that rested on top of the door to the restaurant. "Holy shit, it's almost five! Did we really talk about napping on clouds for four and a half hours?"

"It's an interesting subject." Grif smiled.

"True enough." Tucker laughed.

"Where are we going to eat?" Fluttershy asked hesitantly. "I don't think there are any places that have enough room for over a dozen ponies."

"We can decide on that once we have everypony." Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Tucker and I can go grab Pinkie, Twi, Caboose, Church and Tex."

"Does that mean I have to get Sarge?" Grif asked, clearly not liking the idea.

"At least you don't have to get Tex." Tucker said smartly.

"Good point. Where are we going to meet?"

"Hold up, we should probably run this by Tex first before we go and set all this up."

"Actually, I think we'd have a better time celebrating Tex if she wasn't there..."

"Yeah, but then we wouldn't get to see you squirm in fear." Tucker chuckled morbidly.

"You're a dick." Grif said as he shook his head.

"It's almost time to feed Angel and the other animals, so I think we should get going." Fluttershy said, hopping off her chair.

"That's our cue." Rainbow Dash said, nodding to Tucker to leave. "Thanks for the pizza. I never realize how hungry I am until I start eating."

"Yeah, but you owe me a few slices now, and trust me, I never forget about favors relating to food." Grif smiled, throwing a few bits onto the table. He the checked his bag of bits and threw a few more on top of the others.

"Fair enough." Rainbow Dash chuckled, tapping on Tucker's back. "You're it."

Rainbow Dash quickly began flying towards the library, leaving Tucker with Grif and Fluttershy.

"So much for being tired." Tucker moaned, giving a curt nod to the pair before flying off after Rainbow Dash.

The waiter shuffled towards the table and gave Grif a wide smile when he saw the generous tip.

"Thanks for the grub." Grif nodded.

"Not at all." The waiter smiled, grabbing the bits to place on a tray. "Be sure to come back soon."

"We will." Grif laughed, turning towards Fluttershy, who continued sitting silently. "Guess that's our cue to leave."

"Yes, it is." Fluttershy said happily, glad to be finally leaving.

Grif and Fluttershy quickly set off to Fluttershy's cottage, both content with their meal. Once they were out of Ponyville, Fluttershy let out a sigh with relief.

"You okay?" Grif asked.

"Yes, why?"

"I dunno, it's just that you told Dash that you didn't mind eating in public, when you told me that you did."

"I told the truth. I don't mind eating in public when it's a special occasion." Fluttershy smiled.

"And you didn't tell her what that was."

"It was a nice day, so why not have lunch with a friend, right?" Fluttershy asked him.

"Fair enough." Grif smiled.

They soon arrived at Fluttershy's cottage and she quickly unlocked the door and looked back at Grif.

"Going to go inside?" Grif asked jokingly.

"Yes, sorry." Fluttershy said quietly, trotting inside.

"Strange pony." Grif chuckled as he walked inside after her. Haley barked and quickly ran towards Grif, wagging her tail. "I know, I'm surprised I'm alive too."

"It won't take long to feed them, so I wouldn't recommend falling asleep since you'll just have to wake up in a few minutes anyways." Fluttershy said as she began walking into the kitchen.

"You've clearly never heard of a power nap." Grif laughed as he hopped on the couch.

"What's a power nap?" Fluttershy asked, but turned to Grif only to see him snoring lightly. She smiled and shook her head as she walked into the kitchen. "Strange stallion."

Angel quickly came in through the small doggie door and gave Fluttershy a serious look, tapping his right foreleg with his paw.

"I know I'm late, I'm sorry. Grif was just talking with Rainbow Dash and Tucker and I didn't want to be rude."

Angel rolled his eyes, but quickly smiled to show her that he didn't mind.

"Thank you for understanding." Fluttershy said happily, opening the fridge to grab a head of lettuce. She tore off some of the leaves and placed them on a plate, before putting it on the floor.

Angel hopped up to the plate to grab the largest of the leaves, and he quickly began eating it. A few other animals came in through the doggie door, while Haley came in from the living room, and she quickly gave them their designated food. Once she was done feeding them, and all the animals had left to go back outside, she went into the living room and walked up to the couch to wake Grif up.

"Took you long enough." Grif said when she saw him, opening his eyes before Fluttershy had said or done anything. He jumped off the couch and made his way to the door, where he opened it and smiled briefly, before frowning heavily.

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized that we're going to talk to Sarge." Grif muttered.

Non-Mutual Feelings

"How's AJ doin'?" Granny Smith asked, coming out of the kitchen with a chef's hat on.

"Don't know yet." Sarge shrugged as he sat at the table, alert to anything that might happen. "Big Mac's up there right now, so we should know in a minute or so."

"That's good." Granny Smith said as she looked in a mirror, and frowned slightly as the chef's hat fell off her head. "Confounded thing."

"What are you making in there?" Sarge asked, peeking to look around the door.

"You'll find out when it's done." Granny Smith said playfully. "Say, do ya happen t' know where Applebloom is, do ya?"

"She should still be in her and her friends little clubhouse with Simmons."

"Simmons is th' one you're always sayin' is so helpful, right?" Granny smith asked, to which Sarge replied with a single nod. "Then why haven't we seen him on th' farm helpin' out?"

"He's not one for super physical labor. He mostly just organizes things and makes sure everything's in working order."

"Ah, so he's a nerd!" Granny Smith chortled.

Sarge couldn't help but chuckle, not expecting Granny Smith to say something like that.

"Ah well, Celestia knows Equestria needs smart ponies just as much as it needs heavy lifters." Granny Smith said dismissively, when she heard the whistling of the pot in the kitchen. "That's mah cue."

"Don't let me keep you..."

Granny Smith nodded and immediately left for the kitchen. Sarge gazed around the room, trying to think of something for him to do, when he heard the sound of hooves hitting the wooden steps.

"She alright up there?" Sarge asked nonchallantly.

"Ah would say so." Applejack smirked, coming down the steps.

Applejack wobbled slightly once she reached the bottom, so Big Mac reached out to stabilize her.

"Ah'm fine." Applejack assured him. "Legs are still just a lil stiff, that's all."

"Probably because you were being lazy and took two years to get out of the damn bed." Sarge said mockingly.

"Yer a regular comedian." Applejack said as she reached for her hat, but could only feel her mane. She grunted when she realized she had forgotten it and turned to walk back to her room to retrieve it. "Oh fer..."

"Ah'll go get it." Big Mac said quietly. "You just take a rest here, we're still not sure ya'll are entirely good."

"Thanks." Applejack nodded, as Big Mac turned to go back up to her room. She turned with a smile and sat at the table with Sarge. "So this is what ya'll have been doin' while I was bedridden? Sittin' around like a layabout?"

"Staying alert. You never know when the Blues might attack." Sarge chuckled dryly, quickly adopting a more serious expression. "Glad to see you're up and at 'em. Almost thought Gary put you out of commission when he went inside you like that."

"It'll take more than one of 'em to keep me down." Applejack smirked, but it quickly fell the more she thought on. "Where's-"

"With Simmons and her friends."

"Really, what's Simmons doin' there?"

"Making a list of things for them to do to get their marks. I feel bad for them. Knowing Simmons he'll probably have given them two thousand eight hundred and seventy two things to do by now." Sarge chuckled to himself.

"Ya really think he can cook up over two thousand things for th' girls to do?"

"There is no doubt in my mind. And he's probably not even half way done."

"Don't ya think you're over exaggeratin' this a bit?" Applejack asked with a grin.

"You don't know what that kids capable of." Sarge said seriously.

The pair then fell silent while they waited for Big Mac to return.

"Hey, Sarge?" Applejack asked after a few minutes.

"What?" Sarge grunted.

"Ah didn't tell Twilight this, but there was somethin'... unnervin' about me bein' possessed, ah guess..."

"What do you mean unnerving?"

"It's just that ah felt as if ah was in control, but ah still couldn't do anythin'."

"I'm pretty sure you told Twilight that." Sarge said bemusedly.

"Nah, it's not just that. There's more." Applejack shook her head. "If nobody told me Gary was inside me, ah would have just thought ah went crazy. It's hard t' find th' right words though..."

"I kind of know how you feel." Sarge nodded. "When O'Malley was in me a couple years back, I thought it felt strange too, but at the same time it almost felt natural."

Sarge turned to see Big Mac holding Applejack's hat. His face was blanched and he stared at Sarge with a look of confusion.

"What's wrong with you?" Sarge asked curiously.

Big Mac shook his head, not wanting to say anything, so instead he walked up to Applejack, placed her hat on her head, and slowly began walking backwards up the stairs.

"Big Mac's not sick too, is he?"

"Ah don't think so." Applejack grunted, remembering how he had backed away when Twilight was talking to her. Her eyes shot wide and she couldn't help hide a coy grin. "Nevermind. Ah just got it. Ah think Macintosh has misunderstood us a tad bit when we were talkin' 'bout Gary and O'Malley."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well..." Applejack said hesitantly, checking to make sure neither Applebloom nor Granny Smith were in the room. "Let's just say that Big Mac may think we were ridin' the hay stacks with 'em."

"Uh-huh." Sarge muttered confusedly. "I didn't know I was talking to Lopez."

"Uh, Big Mac thinks they were givin' us the business?" Applejack said questioningly.

"I think I'm missing something here..."

"Grindin' the rind?"

Sarge opened his mouth to answer, thinking he understood what she was saying. He then hesitated, shut his mouth and shook his head.

"Oh for Celestia's sake." Applejack groaned. She quickly leaned towards Sarge and whispered it into his hear.

"Thank god Donut wasn't here to hear that." Sarge shuddered in disgust.

"Ah'll set him straight later." Applejack said quietly, but began to smile sickly. "Fer now, Big Mac'll see ya in a whole new light. Or should ah say hole, if ya catch mah meanin'."

"Don't go Donut on me now." Sarge grunted with a mix of freight and annoyance.

"Sorry." Applejack snickered.

Sarge opened his mouth to change the subject, when there was a knock on the front door.

"Who's there?" Applejack asked loudly.

"It's Grif." Grif called back.

"Quick, pretend we're not here." Sarge said quietly, hopping off the chair.

"Ah think he already knows we're here." Applejack grunted. She turned back to the door and cleared her throat. "C'mon in."

Sarge grunted unintelligibly as Fluttershy entered the main room with Grif.

"You're okay!" Fluttershy exclaimed happily. "I was beginning to get worried. I meant to come over sooner, but-"

"Ah know, no need t' apologize. Sarge and Big Mac have been tryin' real hard to make sure ah come back on top." Applejack said with a grin. "What brings ya'll down here?"

"We just wanted to know if you would be able to go out to dinner with the others." Fluttershy said sweetly, looking at Sarge who was avoiding looking at Grif.

"Oh? What's th' occasion?" Applejack asked.

"We decided that since Tex is doing so well-"

"I wouldn't go as far as to say she's doing so well..." Grif said quietly.

"Since she's trying to make friends, we decided we would all show her that we support her."

"Ah think that sounds good." Applejack nodded slowly. She looked over to Sarge and coughed politely, asking for his attention. "What about you Sarge?"

"Do I have to?" Sarge mumbled.

"No, but ah'd like to eat with mah friends seein' as ah just got better." Applejack said quietly.

"Fine. But I won't enjoy it."

"C'mon, don't be like that." Applejack said pleasingly.

"But that means I'll have to spend time with Grif." Sarge shivered fearfully. "And that's something I can't bring myself to like."

"Then we're in the same boat seeing as Tex is going to be there." Grif said half jokingly.

"Since Grif isn't going to enjoy it, I guess I have to." Sarge said quickly, walking towards the stairs. "I'll go see if Big Mac wants to come too."

"Somethin' tells me he won't wanna eat with us fer a while." Applejack said smugly.

"What happened?" Grif asked curiously.

"Don't tell him." Sarge warned Applejack hastily.

Applejack rolled her eyes and quietly told Grif and Fluttershy what happened.

"Seriously?" Grif asked as he burst out with laughter when he saw Sarge glaring at Applejack. "Oh, well done! Funniest thing I've heard all day! If Donut was here to hear that..."

"Y'know, maybe if I ask Tex nicely she'll let me watch as she pounds you into the dirt. That way I get to see you in pain and I won't have to do anything. A double whammy."

"Is that what O'Malley called it when he was inside you?" Grif cooed, to which he received a swift kick to the jaw.

"Go get Simmons." Sarge mumbled as he trudged up the stairs.

Snacking Plans

"Ya'll right there, Grif?" Applejack asked as Sarge disappeared upstairs.

"I'm fucking peachy." Grif muttered, rubbing his jaw.

"So where we meetin' up with th' others?"

"We're, uh..." Grif trailed off. "Just remembered that Tucker and Dash were going to run it by Tex before we went to get you guys..."

"No harm done, right?" Applejack asked, causing Grif to give her a small glare. "Sorry, didn't mean it like that."

"Tex will probably agree, so I think we should meet at the library in an hour." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Sounds good t' me." Applejack nodded. She smelled the air and looked towards the kitchen. "I'll help Granny Smith 'til then."

"Okay." Fluttershy said pleasantly, turning towards the door.

"Hope Simmons doesn't put as much of a fight as Sarge did..." Grif grunted as he walked away with Fluttershy.

"I don't see why he would." Fluttershy said. She thought of a joke that she felt Grif would enjoy, but hesitated as she thought of it. She cleared her throat, causing Grif to turn to her, to which she smiled awkwardly at him. "As long as he hasn't had anypony inside him when we get there, you should be good."

Grif turned to Fluttershy and burst out with laughter, causing Fluttershy to laugh as well. The laughter continued for minutes until the pair reached the edge of town.

"You're pretty funny, you know that?" Grif sighed happily after the laughter died out.

"I am?" Fluttershy asked, ecstatic that Grif had given her a compliment.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting that."

"I'm glad you liked it." Fluttershy blushed, still feeling slightly uncomfortable from her own joke.

"I'm sure Simmons did too." Grif said, and the pair chuckled together.

The duo eventually neared the carousel boutique, both smiling. Grif hesitated when Fluttershy reached for the door.

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked when she realized Grif had stopped a few feet shy from the door. She was afraid that Grif had suddenly found her joke to be in bad taste.

"Nothing." Grif said as she opened her mouth to apologize for the joke. "I was just thinking, do you think you can go to Rarity's place while I go over to the bakery? I need to go there to talk to Pinkie about my napping spot idea, that way I can wait there for Dash and Tucker and tell them we're going to meet at the library, while you can go tell the other two to meet us there as well. Then you can drop by Sugar Cube Corner and we can hang out there for a bit until we need to go."

"That sounds like a good idea." Fluttershy nodded contently.

"Alright, catch you in a bit." Grif said taking to the skies with a snort. "Heh, inside Simmons."

Fluttershy watched as Grif disappeared into town, before knocking lightly on the door to the boutique. She waited by the door for a few minutes, waiting for Rarity to answer.

"Sorry for the wait." Rarity said in a hushed tone as she opened the door.

"You don't have to apologize." Fluttershy said idly, beginning to walk inside. "I just have to ask you something."

"You'll have to excuse me, Simmons is resting right now. You may come in, but please be quiet. " Rarity said thoughtfully. "Though I suppose I shouldn't have to tell you that."

"I promise I'll be quiet, and it shouldn't take long."

"Follow me this way." Rarity beckoned , walking towards the recently cleared table. She used her magic to pull out two of the chairs and took a seat on one, while Fluttershy sat on the other. "So what brings you here? Just dropping by for a visit?"

"We decided to go out to dinner together as a group to welcome Tex. It isn't final since we don't know if Tex has accepted yet, but I'm positive she'll be happy to go."

"That sounds delightful!" Rarity said loudly. She quickly glanced over to Simmons, who was still asleep, and let out a relieved sigh. "Your timing could not have been any better. Simmons and I just decided to take a few days off of work."

"Really? But that big order-"

"-can wait." Rarity interrupted. "Simmons and I have been working practically non-stop. The only break we had was when... well... you know."

Fluttershy nodded and looked over at Simmons, who even when asleep looked exhausted.

"Poor dear." Rarity said, seeing how Fluttershy was looking at Simmons. "He simply doesn't know when to quit."

"That's not good."

"I agree, though one has to note he has an impeccable work ethic. He almost never stops, almost as if he was a machine." Rarity said, then smiled to herself. "Though I guess he is a machine in a way. I wonder how that transferred when he became a stallion?"

"Er, Rarity?"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you a question?"

"You can ask me anything, Fluttershy." Rarity said warmly.

"Okay. I was just wondering... do you like Simmons?"

"Like him?" Rarity repeated, smiling lightly. "Of course I like him. He is a hard worker, and even when he's exhausted he's still willing to work. I admire that quite a bit. He is also a gentlecolt when it comes to manners and he treats every customer that comes in with respect. He handles everything professionally and is always diligent. I say, it's been a pleasure working with him thus far. I'd even go as far to say that I feel privileged to work with him."

"No, I meant..." Fluttershy said, wondering how much she should say.

"Meant what?" Rarity asked curiously when she saw Fluttershy's troubled look.

"Nothing." Fluttershy smiled, deciding not to say anything. "I'm glad that Simmons is doing well."

"More than well, he's doing excellent." Rarity smiled, before shaking her head. "Where are my manners? I've been so busy I haven't had the time to ask you and the other girls the same question. How is Grif?"

"Wonderful. He's kind, hardworking..." Fluttershy said, cheeks gradually reddening. "I think he's also sort of han-"

"Er, I may be mistaken, but we are talking about Grif, right?" Rarity interrupted, slightly bewildered. "The one that Simmons an the others refer to as the lazy one? The one that avoids any form of work?"

"He's not- well, I guess he could be a little less lazy." Fluttershy admitted. "But he works hard when he wants to."

"That's good to hear." Rarity smirked. "Though I shouldn't be surprised, he is in excellent hooves. And who can say no to one as innocent and friendly as yourself?"

"I guess you're right." Fluttershy said, returning Rarity's smile for a brief moment. She hopped off the chair and looked at the door. "Speaking of the dinner, I should go to Sugar Cube Corner."

"Certainly. I'll get ready and wake Simmons up in, say, forty to fifty minutes?"

"Forty minutes sounds right." Fluttershy said with a nod, trotting towards the door.

"Great. Thank you for the invitation, it could not have come at a better time." Rarity said, using her magic to open the door for Fluttershy. "Give Grif my regards."

"I will." Fluttershy promised as she walked out the door.

Fluttershy began humming as she made her way to Sugar Cube Corner, where she knocked on the door loudly.

"Hello Fluttershy!" Caboose said happily, appearing on Fluttershy's left, making her jump to the ground in fear.

"Oh, hello Caboose. You startled me." Fluttershy said, hyperventilating softly as she got off the ground.

"Yeah, he does that sometimes. I don't know how he does it." Pinkie said in a befuddled tone, appearing on Fluttershy's other side. "I'll have to ask him some time. What brings you to our little Corner?"

"Is Grif here?"

"Grif? Oh, yeah he's inside right now! Did you hear about his super plan? He's going to start napping above here every now and then, and I get to bake him treats! I'm so excited! Well, he's not going to nap here everyday, but he's going to come by at least once a week."

"And my name is Caboose!" Caboose said loudly.

"Grif also said we were waiting for Dashie and Tucker to drop by." Pinkie giggled to herself. "Though I don't think Dashie is a fan of dropping. Tucker might be, I'll have to ask him when he arrives. Anyways, come on in, we were just having some snacks while we waited."

"Okay." Fluttershy nodded, but when she blinked Caboose and Pinkie were no longer outside. Fluttershy smiled and walked into Sugar Cube Corner to wait for the others.

Dresstic Measures

"So what was that about?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Apparently we have dinner plans." Tex said, slightly confused now that she had actually said it.

"Aw, you and that Tucker guy becoming a thing?" The Necronomicon asked. "Don't worry, me and Do are up for double dates!"

"Does that book have an off switch?" Tex asked threateningly.

"Not that I know of." Church sighed.

"Shame. But are you guys up for dinner? Tucker and Dash told me everyone's gathering for dinner."

"Let me check my calender." The Necronomicon said with a laugh.

"Sounds good, I guess." Church nodded, looking at Twilight.

"That sounds like an excellent idea." Twilight said courteously. "It will be nice to finally sit down with some friends instead of running around through the Everfree."

"Or just being out of dangers way." Church added. "Actually, Caboose is going to be there. When he's around you're always in dangers way."

"Just give me a few moments to collect myself, and I'll be all set to go." The Necronomicon said, falling silent.

"Alright then let's go. No point sitting around here, right?" Tex asked.

"Right." Twilight nodded, looking over to Spike.

"Alright!" Spike said with excitement, jumping onto Twilight's back. "Time to eat!"

"Glad to see someone is enthusiastic." Tex smirked, looking over to Church.

"Enthusiastic is my middle name." Church muttered sarcastically as he opened the door. "Let's just get this over with. The less time I am around the others, the less of a chance I have of dying."

"There's the Church we know." Tex snickered as they filed out the door, being sure to lock it behind them.

"Alright, I'm ready... guys?" The Necronomicon asked, looking around the library."Nobody sides with Ol' Necky."

The four started making their way to Sugar Cube Corner, Twilight giving Tex advice on how to make friends while Church drifted behind them wishing that he was not there. Spike had hopped off of Twilight's back halfway there to talk to Church.

"Got something you want to say Church?" Spike asked with a smile.

"Because whenever I say something's going to go wrong nobody listens..." Church muttered.

"Do you think something will go wrong?"

"I'm one hundred percent certain." Church nodded. "But I'll live... hopefully."

They eventually made it to Sugar Cube Corner, where Twilight instantly knocked on the door.

"Heya Twi!" Pinkie giggled as she opened the door. "Just on time too! Sarge and Applejack just arrived."

"It's nice to hear Gary didn't do any permanent damage." Tex smirked, but her eyes rested on Grif standing next to Fluttershy.

"Yup! Now we can decide where we want to go!" Pinkie said, hopping up and down. "I'm so excited."

"Yeah... why don't you guys decide where we go." Tex said, nodding at Fluttershy to come over. "Hey, Fluttershy, can I talk to you for a sec?"

"O-okay." Fluttershy said nervously, quickly making her way over to Tex, where she stopped and waited patiently.

"Preferably outside."

Fluttershy nodded and quickly trotted out the door.

"Be out in a minute." Tex murmured as she walked out after Fluttershy.

"Careful out there Flutters, she might crush your windpipe if you say something wrong." Grif said defensively.

"Bite me." Tex said icily as she slammed the door shut behind her.

Tex turned back to see Fluttershy covering her face with her mane, trying to avoid eye contact.

"I'm not going to hurt you." Tex sighed, causing Fluttershy to peek out from under her mane.

"W-what do you want to talk about."

"I just wanted to apologize." Tex grumbled.

"You do?"

"Yeah, I do. It wasn't right of me to try and hurt you like that." Tex said, extending her hoof. "So how about we put this shit behind us and move on with our lives."

"Okay." Fluttershy said, managing a small smile as she timidly shook Tex's hoof.

"And sorry again if that didn't really sound sincere. Apologies aren't my forté."

"That's alright, I know how much trouble you've been having right now." Fluttershy nodded.

"Thanks." Tex said, relieved that it was over with. "How about we go in and hear about what they've thought of?"

"Wait!" Fluttershy said as Tex turned to go back inside.

"What?"

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but why do you hate Grif?" Fluttershy asked.

"You wouldn't understand." Tex said, shaking her head.

"But I would like to try." Fluttershy pushed.

"Alright, back in the day the Reds manage to capture me, and that yellow asshat lorded it over me." Tex grunted. "That good enough for you?"

"Not really." Fluttershy shook her head. "I mean, that doesn't sound nice, but it's certainly no reason to go out of your way to see him in pain either."

"Fine, it's just... that guy gets on my nerves. And I mean really gets on my nerves." Tex said frustratingly.

"Why?"

"Because do you know what he does for a living? Nothing!" Tex said snappishly. "You can't just go through life not doing anything! You have to work to get what you want! All he does is eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. He preys off of everyone else to survive."

"That's not all he does." Fluttershy said with a sweet smile. "Sometimes he'll come to the market with me and-"

"He's covering up the fact that he's just using you by doing small things." Tex muttered with a sickening smirk. "I'll have to admit, that's something I didn't think he was smart enough to do."

"He's not using me..." Fluttershy said quietly.

"Oh? You feed him and you're giving him a place to stay and he doesn't have to do anything in return. In his eyes that's his perfect world. He has it made, and you're too innocent to see how he's manipulated you."

"He wouldn't do that." Fluttershy shook her head slowly. "Grif's a nice stallion. He isn't the one that you used to know."

"Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. But I call it like I see it." Tex shrugged. "I just don't want to see you or anybody get hurt by a jerk."

Fluttershy looked at the ground as Tex walked back inside Sugar Cube Corner.

"So, you guys decide on a place yet?" Tex asked, coming into the conversation that continued while she was outside.

"Yes, sadly the only place that can seat this many of us needs to be told in advance, but the same night would be too short notice." Rarity sighed.

"Well we could hypothetically take the train to Canterlot." Twilight said quietly.

"Fuck that! That's just begging for something to go wrong!" Church yelped.

"But they won't, we would take extra precautions as to make everything go right."

"But you're asking Grif to not be an idiot and Tex not to be violent." Sarge chuckled. "That's a recipe for everything to go wrong."

"Is that another double whammy?" Grif asked curiously.

Sarge glared at him right before bucking him in the face, sending him flying into the wall next to the door. Fluttershy opened the door to enter and saw Grif on the ground.

"Hey." Grif smirked as he rolled off the ground. "What'd Tex talk to you about."

"Nothing." Fluttershy said with an unsure smile, promptly walking towards the others, who were now in the heat of the conversation.

"Or, follow me for a second here... we don't go to dinner in a crowded place." Church said, acting shocked. "I know, I'm a god damn genius."

"Are ya sayin' this because you're worried 'bout causin' a scene, or because ya don't want t' be near th' Princess?" Applejack asked, narrowing her eyes on him.

"I'd be lying if I didn't say both." Church shrugged. "But Tex's mark isn't exactly one that would go about unnoticed, don't you think?"

"Ah guess." Applejack nodded, looking at the skull on Tex's flank. "It ain't exactly somethin' we can remove neither."

"Exactly."

"Hey Rarity, what if we got Tex to wear something?" Simmons asked, raising his brow. "It would be pretty easy to cover it up that way."

"That could work." Rarity said with a wide smile.

"Oh hell no, you aren't going to make me wear anything." Tex warned them.

"It's either that or you don't go." Church sighed as Tex shot him a harsh glare.

"Stop me. I'm not going to wear a frilly ass dress!"

"Well, it isn't exactly a dress. It really is more of a gown." Rarity said, slightly offended. "And it isn't frilly, it is extremely sleek."

Tex looked at her cutie mark and began to scowl, wishing that it had been something else. But she knew better than to bring any unnecessary attention to herself now that she was trying to fit in.

"What's it going to be?" Church asked.

"Give me the damn dress." Tex muttered disdainfully.

Adressing Problems

"Keep in mind, it is a work in progress." Rarity said as she unlocked the door to the boutique. "The skirt itself is complete, but the outfit itself is subject to change."

"Good thing I'm not here for an outfit." Tex said with an uninterested smile.

"That's a shame, Simmons and I have worked very hard on it." Rarity pouted thinly, but turned to Simmons with a smile. "Isn't that right, Simmons?"

"I don't know, I think you really do most of the work." Simmons shrugged.

"Pish posh. You don't give yourself enough credit."

"Can we skip the pleasantries and get a move on before I realize how horrible of an idea this is?" Tex asked, forcing her voice to sound sweet.

"That's what I've been saying the whole time." Church said annoyingly.

"The difference is that's what you say all the time." Tucker chuckled. "Hell, it's pretty much your catchphrase at this point."

"I want a catchphrase too!" Caboose begged, grabbing onto Church's leg. "Can I please have one? I promise I'll take care of it and feed it every night! And walks! I'll let it walk me!"

"Fine, just let go of my leg."

"Okay." Caboose said in a bubbly voice, smiling to himself. "I get a catchphrase!"

"Why don't you all wait out here?" Rarity asked as she walked into the building. "We don't all need to come inside."

"Bow-" Tucker began.

"Don't you fucking dare." Church said firmly, before looking back to Rarity. "How long will you guys be in there for?"

"Just a few minutes, hopefully it won't-"

"Oh no you don't." Tex said, grabbing Church by his neck. "If I'm suffering through this, so are you."

"What? Why?" Church inquired, trying to wrestle himself out of Tex's grip.

"Because i said so." Tex chuckled.

"We could use somepony else's input." Rarity agreed.

"I don't know if dresses look good or not!" Church snapped angrily.

"Why? You Blues are pretty much women already." Sarge smirked.

"I'll come too." Twilight said to Church, causing him to stop thrashing about. "We'll just go in and get out. It won't be that much trouble. Spike, you stay out here with the others."

"Fine..." Church and Spike muttered together.

"Great." Tex chuckled, releasing Church.

"Don't be too long in there." Rainbow Dash said.

"You don't have to tell me twice." Tex nodded, quickly trotting into the boutique.

Rarity, Simmons, Twilight and Church nodded to each other and walked in after Tex.

"So which dress is it?" Tex asked as she came to a stop next to a group of marrequins.

"It's the skirt." Rarity said simply.

Tex looked at Rarity inquisitively, then back to the collection of dresses.

"It's this one." Rarity said as she brought one of the marrequins out of the group with her magic.

Tex examined the skirt with a serious eye. It was a dark blue skirt that seemed as if it would hug tightly to the body. The skirt went halfway down the legs, and the top of the skirt ended at the base of the neck. The rear of the skirt had a trio of black lines, twirling downwards.

"Well, what do you think?" Rarity asked curiously, fishing for a compliment.

"It's blue." Tex nodded.

"And?"

"And it's a dress."

"It really is more of a skirt."

"So a short dress then." Tex nodded unenthusiastically.

"Are you going to put it on or not?" Church asked impatiently.

"Just give me a second here, okay? This isn't easy for me."

"What's so hard about putting on a damn dress?"

Tex muttered uncomprehensilbly and snatched the skirt of of the mannequin. She glared at it for a few seconds, then let out a defeated sigh and made her way to the dressing room. Once she was inside, she placed the skirt on the seat in the small chamber and eyed it contemplatively.

"Hurry up in there." Church called out from the other side of the door.

"Shut up!" Tex hissed, turning back to the dress. "How the hell am I supposed to put this thing on?"

"There is a small black zipper at the neck." Rarity said idly, looking at a hat that sat on another marrequin.

Tex sighed and quickly unzipped it and slipped it on.

"Oh, and please take care with it." Rarity said nervously. "It isn't exactly made out of the most durable of materials."

"Yeah, yeah..." Tex grunted, trying to pull the zipper back up, but found herself unable to reach it. "Fuck!"

"You didn't tear it, did you?" Rarity asked worriedly, fearing the worst.

"No, I can't reach the zipper with these fucking hooves!" Tex snapped, trying to reach for it.

"Let me in, I'll help you." Twilight said, walking up to the dressing room.

"I can do it." Tex grunted, reaching for the zipper once again, but couldn't reach. She let out an extremely loud sigh, before unlocking the dressing door and poking her head out. "Just make it quick."

Twilight nodded and trotted into the large dressing room, using her magic to shut it behind her.

"So how do you do it?" Tex asked curiously as Twilight pulled the zipper up.

"Do what?"

"Being so friendly. It's difficult as all hell, and I'm just barely being nicer than I usually am."

"You'll get used to it." Twilight assured her, backing away.

"Did she tear the skirt?" Rarity asked loudly.

"See? She does't even trust me with a fucking dress."

"Don't worry, she does that with everypony. This is her passion after all."

"I guess." Tex sighed. "How do I look?"

"You look fine." Twilight smiled, unlocking the door.

"Tex, do you mind waiting for a few moments before coming out?" Rarity asked.

"Why?"

"I believe a dramatic reveal is crucial. You know, a before and after. A-"

"Okay, just... just stop treating this like a fashion show." Tex muttered, closing the door after Twilight had exited.

"Very well. This is the last thing I require you to do." Rarity promised.

"Good." Tex muttered. She looked around the room, which appeared smaller to her now. "Wish this thing had a mirror... I probably look like a jackass girly girl..."

"You may come out now." Rarity said, positively bursting with excitement.

"Alright." Tex muttered, taking a deep breath. "Here goes nothing, I guess..."

Tex pushed open the door and walked out of the dressing room. Her red mane flowed down the back of her neck, all the way down to the dark sapphire dress. Her tail poked out the back, and reached the same length as the edge of the skirt. She looked over to Rarity, whose lip was quivering. Unsure if this was a good sign, she turned to Church to see him staring at her, eyes soft.

"What?" Tex asked, looking at her flank. "Does it make me look fat?"

"No, you look good, actually." Church said sincerely.

"Screw you."

"No, I'm serious. You totally don't look like a psycho killer bitch in that."

"You really know how to make a girl feel special." Tex smirked. She turned to see Rarity staring at her with wide eyes. "What's up with you?"

"You look marvelous! Oh, you simply must put on this darling hat!" Rarity said excitedly as she rushed towards Tex with the hat that caught her attention before.

"If you put that hat on my I swear I'll tear it in half." Tex said as she slowly backed away from Rarity.

"But it goes perfectly with-"

"I don't care. I'm wearing a damn dress, and that's-"

"Skirt." Rarity corrected her.

"Fine, skirt, whatever. But I'm not wearing a hat."

"But-"

"No." Tex said, this time forcefully, leaving no room for an argument.

"Very well." Rarity said reluctantly, sad that Tex was so unwilling to listen to her.

"Time to show the others." Church said with a smile.

"Pardon me for withholding my excitement." Tex said sarcastically, walking up to the door. "Would have been easier just to tear the skin off."

"Sounds a little painful, don't you think?" Twilight asked.

"No, no it sounds like a walk in the park compared to this. This is much more painful." Tex disagreed.

"Aren't you over exaggerating it just a bit?" Simmons asked.

"For her, this is the most painful thing in the world."

"Got that right. I can barely even walk in this thing." Tex muttered, pushing open the door.

The rest of the group stared at her uncertainly when she first stepped through, staring at her silently, waiting for her to speak first, but she simply remained quiet. Tucker chuckled to himself after a few seconds and opened his mouth.

"If you so much as say one word, I will rip off your jaw, and shove it down your throat." Tex said pointedly, brushing past them.

"Come on, we have a train to catch." Twilight said, walking after Tex.

Tucker stared nervously at Tex as the others followed suit to the train station.

"I was just going to say how she didn't look like psycho killer bitch..." Tucker muttered before flying after them.

Mare Problems

"Good evening." The mare at the ticket booth greeted as the group approached the station. "What can I do for you tonight?"

"We need some tickets to Canterlot please." Twilight said pleasantly.

"Alrighty, how many are in your party?"

"Thirteen ponies and a baby dragon."

"Baby dragon, huh?" The mare said, not overly shocked as she quickly put a stamp on each ticket. "Not a lot of ponies going to Canterlot today, only one other pair of ponies is going tonight, and they're riding in cart 'A'. What's the occasion?"

"Just having a friendly meal with friends." Twilight smiled.

"Well I hope you have a pleasant night." The mare smiled, feeding each individual ticket through the slot. "The ticket collector will be doing his rounds in two minutes, so you'll have to find your seats fast. The ride will take half an hour and will be fifty bits in total."

"Thanks." Twilight said, dropping a small bag of bits into the other slot.

"Seems about right." The mare said as she jangled the small satchel. "That's seven tickets for cart 'C' and seven tickets or cart 'D'."

"Not all in one cart?" Church asked.

"There's only room for twelve per cart, so I felt you guys would like to be split even rather than have two odd ones out."

"Fair enough." Church nodded, looking at the tickets. "So who goes in which cart?"

"I think the guys should go in cart 'C' so I don't have to look at them." Tex smirked.

"I was about to suggest the same thing." Grif chuckled, grabbing his ticket as he made his way to one of the carts. "Shotgun!"

"There is no shotgun on a train..." Simmons sighed.

"You're just mad because I called it first!"

"This is going to be a fun half hour..." Church muttered.

"I know! I've never been on a train before!" Caboose said with childlike excitement.

"You were on one when we went to Canterlot for the wedding, idiot." Tucker said, shaking his head.

"Oh... yeah!"

"One minute." The mare at the counter said loudly.

The group collectively nodded and trotted up to their respective carts and entered. The girls slowly got settled in their seats, and once they did the door separating their cart from the guys' opened.

"Tickets please." A stallion yawned as he walked towards the girls. The girls looked over at him to see him wearing a cap that read Ticket Collector, as well as a small satchel that clung to his side. Each of the girls prepared their tickets and he slowly approached them, eyeing them warily. "Those stallions in the other cart with you?"

"Yes." Twilight nodded, holding out her ticket.

"Just to let you know one of them tore out his cushion shouting something about Lucky Charms..." The stallion said annoyingly, grabbing each of their tickets to examine them.

"Oh, I'm sorry... that must have been Caboose."

"I was going to reprimand him but one of them already seemed to be doing it." The stallion nodded. Once he confirmed the tickets were genuine, he threw them in the satchel he wore on his side. "If you need anything I'll be sitting at the back of this cart seeing as nopony is in the others."

'We will, thank you." Twilight nodded.

The stallion returned the nod and lazily took a seat at the other end of the cart.

"This is so exciting. Oh, I do hope they ask Tex where she got her dress." Rarity chirped happily, laying on the cushion.

"I'm sure they will." Fluttershy said encouragingly. "It's simply beautiful."

"Thank you. I believe the simplicity really does make it look rather charming. Much more so then some other designs I've made." Rarity said, eyeing Tex who shifted uncomfortably. "Tex, you look lovely, there is no need to be embarrassed."

"I'm not embarrassed... actually, I am, but this thing is so damn tight I can barely do anything." Tex grunted, trying to stretch her hind legs. "This is why I hate dresses."

"Skir-"

"Please stop correcting me." Tex sighed, unable to get comfortable in the seat.

"Rarity, is there any way to stretch the fabric so it won't be so... constricting?" Twilight asked curiously.

"I guess if you massage the fabric carefully it would work, but Tex would need to take it off first."

"Fine with me." Tex nodded quickly, beginning to unzip the dress.

"Wait." Twilight said quickly.

"What? Listen, if you want to see me uncomfortable because of what I did back in the tunn-"

"No, it's not that." Twilight said, motioning towards the stallion sitting on the other end of the cart. "The whole point of the dress was to cover up your-"

"Right." Tex muttered. "So I'm stuck being uncomfortable. Fun."

"Not necessarily." Twilight said, looking at the door next to the ticket collector. "The back cart is empty, remember?"

Tex smirked and gave Twilight a thankful nod, before jumping off her seat to walk to the door.

"Take care of the skirt, will you?" Rarity asked hastily as she reached out with her forelegs, seemingly trying to catch Tex before she left. "It would be a shame if it got ripped on the way there."

"I'll do the stretching." Twilight said, walking next to Tex.

"I suppose that's fine then." Rarity smiled worriedly.

"Don't worry, I'll take especially good care of it."

Rarity thought briefly then nodded at them. Tex and Twilight nodded in return and they made their way to the door. As Tex reached for the door, the stallion stuck out his foreleg, blocking her path.

"What are you doing?" Tex asked.

"I don't see any reason for you to go in there." The stallion shrugged, adjusting his hat.

"Can we please get through?" Tex asked forcefully, trying the polite card.

"Not if you don't give me a good reason as to why I should let you." The stallion said, matching Tex's forceful tone.

"Listen, I don't have time to-"

"I don't have time for this either, so take your seat." The stallion interrupted.

Tex flexed her hind legs in anger, wanting to kick the stallions ass at the same time as not wanting to damage the skirt.

"I apologize, but our friend here is having some mare troubles, if you catch my meaning." Twilight said, reading Tex's body language to carefully form an idea.

"What are you talking about?" The stallion asked hesitantly, wondering what they were up to.

"Let's just say that there is a reason our stallion friends are in the other cart right now."

"Just tell me what''s wrong. I'm not interested in-"

"You know... bad attitude... extremely stressed... low patience?"

"Alright, that's enough games for now. Please take your-" The stallion began, but his face soon blanched. Quickly understanding what she was hinting at, he scrambled off of his seat and jumped to the door. "Just knock when you need to come back in."

And with that, the stallion quickly unlocked the door and kicked it open, before moving out of Tex's way.

"That's more like it." Tex muttered, purposely bumping into the stallion, making him fall to the ground.

"Sorry for the inconvenience." Twilight said pleasantly as they walked into the next cart.

"N-not at all." The stallion stuttered, locking the door behind them.

"Nice going." Tex nodded thoughtfully. "But why did he let us in? I mean, every cart is the same, so there's no real need for us having to go into this one..."

"I think he was just trying not to think about it." Twilight giggled.

Back in the other cart, Applejack was staring out the window, deep in thought.

"Wacha thinking about AJ?" Rainbow Dash asked, quickly jumping next to Applejack to talk to her. Applejack turned to her and gave a quick shrug as a response. "Something is obviously wrong, so just tell us."

"Just gettin' this strange vibe or somethin'."

"What kind of vibe?" Fluttershy asked.

"Ooh, do you have to go to the little fillies room?" Pinkie asked with a smile.

"It's not that Pinkie. It's just that Twi' told me a bit 'bout the fragments a while back, tellin' me which ones we can trust and what not, and it got me thinkin' about 'em."

"Is that what this is about?" Rainbow Dash asked with a laugh. "I mean, I think we already know we can't trust Gary..."

"Both O'Malley and Sigma are dangerous as well." Rarity added, only paying slight attention to the conversation due to her worrying over the state of her dress in the cart over.

"Exactly, but didn't she tell ya'll which ones we could trust?"

"Yeah, I think she said Theta and Delta were cool." Rainbow Dash nodded slowly. "What's your point?"

"What ah'm sayin' is that she left one lil' bit out of th' equation." Applejack said, taking a deep breath as she looked out the window.

"C'mon AJ, just tell us." Rainbow Dash grunted.

"She ain't never said anythin' 'bout us bein' able to trust th' Epsilon fragment."

Specialty Dish

"You mean Church?" Rarity asked curiously.

"Yeah." Applejack nodded, trying to think of what to say next. "Ah mean, don't get me wrong, ah like Church just fine. Ah'm just sayin' he hasn't really shown us that he can be trusted."

"Well he hasn't really done anything for us not to trust him." Rarity smiled lopsidedly. "Even though he may occasionally be a bit crass at times."

"Didn't ya'll hear what he said to Celestia back a ways? He called her a powerless coward! That don't sound like somethin' a sane pony would do."

"He was just angry at-"

"You and ah both know that's a load a horsefeathers!" Applejack said firmly. "If he didn't mean it, he woulda apologized by now. But he didn't, an' he seems perfectly happy that way."

"He just needs time." Fluttershy said, coming back into the conversation. "He'll apologize to her eventually."

"But when is what ah'm wonderin'..." Applejack sighed, feeling that she had already lost the argument. "But he went crazy in th' past, right? It don't seem to outta th' question for it t' happen again."

"How can he go crazy when he has friends like Caboose to keep him company?" Pinkie giggled.

"Caboose, for the last fucking time, there aren't any Lucky Charms on this train!" Church snapped from the other cart.

"Don't listen to him Caboose, you won't know unless you've checked underneath every seat." Tucker chuckled loudly.

"Stop encouraging him!"

A loud ripping noise came through the door, followed by a brief lapse of silence.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"They're not under this one either." Caboose pouted.

"Caboose, I swear to god!"

"Very easily, apparently." Rainbow Dash smirked after the yelling had subsided.

"I suppose it's entirely plausible for him to go crazy around Tucker and Caboose." Rarity said jokingly.

"That's true. I mean hay, I really like Tucker too, but I'd be lying if I said he didn't drive me crazy sometimes." Rainbow Dash smirked. "But if he hasn't gone crazy from them annoying him yet, I can't really see him going crazy anytime soon."

"Ya'll should just keep yer heads on a swivel 'round him, s'all ah'm askin'." Applejack shrugged.

"I suppose that would be wise." Rarity nodded slowly.

A loud knock came from the other side of the cart, causing the stallion to jump towards the door. He quickly scrambled to unlock it, and once he did he pulled it open and bowed politely, not wanting to get on the read headed mare's bad side.

"That's more like it." Tex chuckled as she walked comfortably past him. "So what'd we miss?"

"Nothing." Applejack said slowly, before looking away.

Another rip came from the other room once Twilight and Tex had taken their seats.

"What was that?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Just wait..." Applejack said quietly, perking her ear up to listen.

"Caboose, do it one more time and I won't let you have a catchphrase!"

"But you promised!"

"I mean it!"

A small sniffle came out from under the door, followed by a soft moaning.

"Oh my fucking... fine, you can have your catchphrase still, just stop ripping up the cushions. And stop crying!"

"Okay." Caboose said, instantly snapping back to his happy self.

"Well that was interesting." Tex grunted, turning to the ticket collector. "Aren't you going to go in there and get mad at them?"

"Aren't they your friends?" The stallion asked hesitantly.

"Well I wouldn't say friends, but yeah, I know them."

"Then no, they can do whatever they want." The stallion smiled shakily.

"I'm starting to like this guy." Tex chuckled.

A third rip came out from the other cart.

"Caboose!"

Once Caboose had ripped out several more cushions, they arrived at the Canterlot train station. When they got off the train, they quickly made their way to a restaurant not too far from the station. When they entered, they were greeted by a lime green unicorn.

"How may I serve you tonight?" The server asked happily.

"Table for fourteen please." Twilight smiled.

"Certainly." The unicorn said, looking at a chart that showed the available tables. "A large table just opened up, so just follow me and we'll get you seated."

The unicorn led them to an extremely long table, one that could fit thirty ponies if need be, and pulled out the chairs with her magic. Once they had all taken their seats, the unicorn quickly distributed the menu's.

"Can I get you anything to drink while you decide on your order?"

"I think we're good with water, thank you." Twilight smiled.

"Very well." The waiter nodded, turning to walk away.

"Got anything stronger than water?" Tucker asked slyly.

"Well, we do have sparkling cider, if you so wish." The waiter smiled.

"That sounds positively delightful." Tucker said, putting on a sophisticated tone. He turned to Rainbow Dash and lifted his brow. "Doesn't that sound positively delightful."

"Positively." Rainbow Dash chuckled. "But only one glass. We don't want you waking up in a field like last time."

"Fine." Tucker said begrudgingly. "A pair of glasses for us."

"Sounds good. Does anypony else want one?" The mare asked before leaving.

"I suppose I'll have one too." Rarity nodded, and smiled when she saw Simmons' curious expression. "It is a special occasion. Are you going to have one too?"

"I don't drink." Simmons shrugged.

"I thought the Irish were known for drinking." Grif smirked.

"I'm Dutch-Irish." Simmons muttered.

"Whatever." Grif chuckled.

"Is that all?" The mare asked patiently, and when nobody spoke up she nodded. "Very well, I will be out in a few moments."

"Classy place." Grif noted as his eyes rested on a crystal chandelier.

"Something tells me all the restaurants around here are classy." Church said quietly, casting a mocking eye over the patrons. "Looks like Celestia's overcompensating for something seeing as everything in this damn city is this classy."

Applejack glanced at him for a few seconds until she felt something bump her in the side.

"Remind me not to mock you about your tastes in food back at the farm." Sarge chuckled as he looked at the menu. "There's twenty salads and they all sound the same. At least at your place you knew how to make fifty different dishes, even if they did all have apples in 'em."

"We pride ourselves on knowin' all 'bout apples." Applejack smiled, forgetting about Church. "Which reminds me, ya'll haven't had any of our hard cider."

"Not yet at least." Sarge smirked.

"Here are your glasses." The waiter said, approaching them with three glasses hovering above her head. Once she gave them to Rarity, Tucker and Rainbow Dash, she floated over a small notepad. "Have you decided on what you want?"

"I'll have the rosebud salad." Rarity said, closing the menu to place it in front of her.

"Me too." Simmons said, having not really paid attention to what was on the menu.

"I'll just have a plain salad." Twilight said, not wanting anything especially fancy.

"Surprise me." Tex shrugged, throwing the menu on the table.

"Very well." The waiter nodded.

The waiter took each of their orders, until the only ones who hadn't ordered were Spike, Pinkie ad Caboose.

"And for sir dragon?" The waiter asked.

"Uh, do you have any gemstones?"

"Yes, we have a wide variety available." The mare nodded. "I'd recommend our freshly cut turquoise."

"That sounds good." Spike said, licking his lips.

The mare quickly wrote down the order, then turned to the last pair who have not ordered and smiled warmly at them.

"Don't you have any sweets?" Pinkie asked shockingly.

"The dessert menu is on the back."

"Why do you have the main courses listed under desserts?" Pinkie chuckled.

The mare looked over at Twilight and raised a brow, but Twilight smiled sheepishly.

"I guess I'll have two banana splits and one bowl of strawberry ice cream." Pinkie said, putting the menu on the table. "Oh, and one small salad. I'm trying to eat healthy now!"

The waiter hesitantly added the order to the sheet, before looking at Caboose to take his order. Caboose looked up at her with a confused face.

"Something wrong?"

"I'm beginning to think this place doesn't have any Lucky Charms."

Pleasantries

"I'm sorry, but I've never heard of these Lucky Charms." The waiter said sympathetically. "Is there anything else you'd like?"

"He'll have the same as me!" Pinkie smiled.

"Sounds good, I will be back out with your orders soon." The waiter bowed, before rushing off to the kitchen.

Twilight quickly looked over at Church and took note of his uncomfortable expression.

"Hey Church, calm your shit, everything's going to be fine." Tucker laughed, taking comfort in Church's attitude.

"Fuck you." Church mumbled.

"Is something wrong?" Twilight asked.

"Is something wrong? I don't know if you've noticed yet, but something is always wrong. It's just a matter of not knowing what's wrong that's bugging me..."

"Don't mind him, he always feels as if life is conspiring against him." Tucker chirped.

"I don't think that sounds too far fetched." Tex laughed.

"Very funny."

"Come on Church, you have my word that nothing will go wrong. We're all here, we're all on our best behavior, nothing can go wrong."

"Please stop jinxing it." Church begged.

"My, if it isn't my favorite Ponyvillian, Rarity!" A voice boomed happily from the entrance of the restaurant.

The group turned to see a familiar white unicorn with a blue mane approaching their table, a warm smile on his face.

"Fancypants, what are you doing here?" Rarity asked curiously.

"Decided to have a meal out tonight." Fancypants nodded.

"Without Fleur?" Simmons asked.

"Ah, a shame about that. She and I originally decided to have our dinner out tonight. She recently became a tad sick, so she is recuperating at my mansion." Fancypants said, genuinely disheartened. "But she insisted that I go out and have a good night, and a good night I shall have!"

"F-Fancypants!" The waiter stuttered as she walked past the table, seeing the well known unicorn instantly.

"Charmed." Fancypants smiled, never losing his charming disposition.

"C-can I get you anything?" The waiter continued.

"The usual please." Fancypants said, taking a seat next to Tex. "Tell the cook to try and bring my meal out at the same time as theirs."

"Anything t-to drink?"

"I will partake in what my dear friends Rarity and Simmons are having." Fancypants nodded, and the waiter quickly shuffled off to the kitchen.

"Dining with us tonight?" Rarity asked, surprised.

"I hope you don't mind, but I prefer to dine in the company of others. Especially if the company is as charming as yours. My regular entourage isn't as social as they make themselves out to be, but alas, that is their ways."

"Not at all. In fact, it would be an absolute pleasure for you to dine with us." Rarity smiled, not wanting to reject his offer, thinking it would come off as rude.

"Fantastic then! So what brings you all to Canterlot this evening?"

"We wanted to show our new friend here a good time." Rarity said, motioning towards Tex.

"Ah, a new friend. Can never have too many of those, I will tell you that much."

"I wouldn't go that far." Church muttered, but not loud enough for Fancypants to hear.

As the waiter rushed out with a glass of sparkling cider, Fancypants gave Tex a once over.

"What are you looking at?" Tex asked snappishly, causing Rarity to gasp.

"Just admiring your beautiful skirt." Fancypants said quietly, raising the glass to his lips. "One of Miss Rarity's works, I presume?"

"Yeah..." Tex muttered.

"Not one for idle chat? I can respect that." Fancypants nodded, taking a small sip of his drink. "Will you at least give me the pleasure of knowing your name?"

"Tex."

"Curious name. Short. Exotic." Fancypants said with a light smile, rubbing his chin. "Certainly not a name one would receive in Ponyville."

Tex narrowed her eyes, suspicious of the well kempt unicorn.

"I mean no offense, of course. Merely noting a small observation." Fancypants waved, sensing her unease. "If you have no wish of telling me where you hail from, then that is your business."

"Well... good." Tex muttered.

"That is no way to treat Fancy-" Rarity began.

"It is quite alright, Rarity." Fancypants interrupted lightly, looking at Tex. "Please understand that I by no means am trying to be nosy. I was simply trying to get to know Rarity's colleagues, but if you do not wish to make my acquaintance, I can accept that."

The waiter soon arrived and distributed their meals, and once she had left they began to eat.

"So, how is Flint's order coming?" Fancypants asked Rarity as he wiped his muzzle with a white napkin.

"Flint?" Rarity asked curiously.

"Flint Westhoof. Surely you have not forgotten about him."

"Oh no, I remember him fine. But you must be mistaken, I haven't had a word with him as of recent."

"Oh? He didn't tell you that he was the one who ordered the dozen suits and dresses were going to be used in an upcoming show he's going to be working on?"

"Those are for Flint?" Rarity asked, then her eyes widened and she gasped. "They're going to wear them in one of his shows?"

"Indeed." Fancypants smiled at Rarity's excitement. "Speaking of, how far along are you on those?"

"I- I mean we, er-" Rarity stuttered, stuffing one of the rosebuds in her mouth while she thought of what to say.

"We haven't really started on them yet." Simmons said.

"Simmons!" Rarity choked. She quickly swallowed the bud and grinned sickly. "I apologize Fancypants, but we decided to take a short- and I mean very short break from work. We've just been working nonstop and I want to make sure that-"

"Come now, Rarity. You have a long time until that order needs to be fulfilled, so there is no need for you to make excuses. Enjoy yourselves." Fancypants said, taking one of the larger leaves to nibble on. "And I am quite sure that Flint has your best interests in mind, and would surely not argue if you told him you took a week off. After all, had he not been confident in you and Simmons' abilities, he would not have given the order to you."

"That is true." Rarity nodded.

"And Flint never really was one to give one short notice. He is always sure to give ponies over twice as much time as they need. If there is one thing he hates, and he doesn't hate much, is when he sees one stressed out over work. The only reason he did not tell you specifically to take a break was probably just because breaks don't feel like breaks when you're ordered to have them."

"I like this guy's style." Grif remarked as he finished off his food. "Sarge could learn a thing or two about how to give orders from this guy."

"Better watch what you say Grif, Sarge isn't too far away from you." Simmons chuckled.

"Thanks for reminding me." Sarge muttered miserably, munching on the salad.

"Poor Sarge." Grif cooed. "Not only do you have to sit near me, but you also have to eat healthy too."

"I'm not allergic to healthy things like you, so I don't mind the salad." Sarge said icily.

"Quite a volatile bunch, aren't they?" Fancypants noted with a laugh. "They must provide you girls with quite the entertainment."

"Entertainment might not be the right word." Rainbow Dash chuckled.

"Oh? Not many ponies speak as they do, so I thought they must be a regular hit with the residents of Ponyville." Fancypants shrugged. "So how did you meet them? They don't really seem like Ponyville ponies to me."

"Oh, that's easy!" Pinkie smiled. "When they first came by, Celestia told us to watch 'em because-"

"Pinkie!" Twilight said quickly, throwing her hoof over Pinkie's mouth.

"These gentlecolts know the Princess?" Fancypants asked, now fully intrigued. "And not only that, but she asked you to watch them? Curiouser and curiouser."

"Yeah, I liked her hair." Caboose gurgled as he ate one of the banana splits.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I've been so wrapped up in catching up with Rarity and Simmons that I forgot to meet you fine gentlecolts. What would your name be?" Fancypants asked Caboose, feeling ashamed that he had forgotten to acknowledge the others.

"My name is Caboose, but some people call me alright! What is your name?"

"My name is Fancypants, pleasure to meet you Caboose." Fancypants said, holding out his hoof.

"But you aren't even wearing any pants! Are you sure your name isn't Fancybutt?"

"Caboose!" Church snapped, feeling this was where it all went downhill. Turning to Fancypants he bowed his head apologetically. "Sorry about him, he doesn't always think before he speaks. In fact, I'm almost sure he never thinks."

"Nonsense. It's not often one meets a pony who speaks his mind." Fancypants smirked.

"Sometimes I speak with my mouth too."

"Indeed." Fancypants chuckled, before turning his attention back to the others. "Now, if you don't mind me asking, how do you know Celestia?"

Explanations

"Oh, I know that story!" Caboose said happily. "We came here when-"

"Caboose, please stop talking." Church grunted, stuffing his hoof over Caboose's mouth.

"Come now, I'd love to hear what he has to say." Fancypants said reassuringly.

"I wouldn't." Church muttered.

"Let Caboose tell his story." Twilight said, winking at Church as she put emphasis on story, taking her own hoof of of Pinkie's mouth.

Church nodded in understanding, and reluctantly took his hoof off of Caboose's mouth.

"Go on Caboose, tell him your story." Twilight said encouragingly.

"Okay! A long time ago in a Galaxy far, far away, Sarge and I saved Church from a device called the Epsilon unit, and when we did I decided I wanted a turn in it, so I did! Then I fell for a billion feet and hit the ground, and the ground hugged me so hard I became a pony, and then my mouth tasted like highschool. Then, after that, I started hanging out with Pinkie! But then I got sad, so she threw me a party to make me unsad, and then Sarge and Church fell from the sky and hit the ground too, but they weren't ponies, they were robots! Well not robots. Sarge is a pirate, and Church is really a computer program, but they looked like robots, and I never noticed how tall they were until I was a pony. They must have been twenty half feet tall! Anyways, after that, Simon, Griff and Tucker fell down too, and Tucker hit his no-no area on a tree and I started to feel better!"

"Oh my, were they robots too?" Fancypants asked charmingly, playing along with what he believed was Caboose's wild imagination.

"Yes! Especially Simon, he is double robot because one time Griff got hurt, so Sarge had to replace Griff's ouchy areas with Simon's working areas, but then that made Simon's non ouchy areas become non areas, so Sarge had to give him robot areas to make it so he had an area that wasn't hurt!"

"Marvelous." Fancypants nodded, turning his head to Church. "Quite the overactive imagination, hm?"

"Yeah." Church nodded slowly.

"And then after they were all here, there was a flash and we were in Cerealestia's house! And she had long wavy hair! And then she used her magic to turn them into ponies just like me! And then she made the real ponies watch after us space ponies!"

"Princess Celestia-"

"Cerealestia."

"Very well. Princess Cerealestia turned you space robots into stallions?" Fancypants said, looking confusedly at the other stallions at the table, who stared at Caboose with the same look of confusion he was giving them

"Yup!" Caboose nodded.

"What a delightful sense of humor!" Fancypants burst out with a small bout of laughter, before calming down and turning to Rarity. "I do so wish I had met sir Caboose earlier, it has been a while since I have smiled so much. Why didn't you introduce me to him at the Royal Wedding?"

"Er, I'm not sure." Rarity said diffidently.

"You have no idea what a bore it is to live in Canterlot. Most ponies are so caught up in their experiences they never experience life. But this young stallion?" Fancypants asked, patting Caboose on the back. "He seems to have it figured out."

"That's what I've been saying the entire time!"

"Well it certainly was nice to meet you all, but I am afraid I should be checking on Fleur. Poor girl is probably feeling a tad lonely. At least now I will be able to tell her the tale of Caboose, the great space warrior!" Fancypants said theatrically, wiping his mouth with a small napkin. "Now as for the matter of paying, I insist you allow me to pay for your meals."

"That's not necessary." Rarity said quickly, not wanting to impose.

"Not at all!" Fancypants said, bowing his head. "You allowed me to dine with you without a moment's notice. It is the least I could do, my dear."

"I don't know..."

"At least let me pay for the main course. That way I can pay for the pleasantries, and you can pay for your desserts."

"Well-"

"Hey, if this guy wants to pay, let him pay." Grif said casually. "I mean, who are we to argue with his generosity?"

Fluttershy sighed and looked down at her salad to think.

"Are you okay?" Grif asked, noticing Fluttershy's distant attitude.

"I'm fine." Fluttershy said, forcing a thin smile.

"You barely touched your food. I thought the whole point of eating with friends was... well... eating."

"I guess I'm just not as hungry as I thought." Fluttershy said assuredly.

Grif stared at her curiously for a few seconds, making Fluttershy feel nervous.

"Ease up their Grif. Don't concentrate too much or you might lose one of your three brain cells." Sarge chuckled.

Fancypants smile rose at Sarge's remark as he waved over the server. He used his magic to pull a black silk bag out of his suit. He jingled the bag a few times, listening to the clatter of bits. He then opened it, took several bits out and jingled it again. This time he nodded and placed the bag on the table. The server grabbed the bag with her teeth and placed it on a tray.

"Does that cover them all?" Fancypants asked.

"Yes, sir." The server nodded.

"Fantastic." Fancypants said, returning the nod as he rose from his seat and began walking away. He then chuckled to himself and glanced back at them. "I hope that we can do this again sometime. And hopefully next time I can learn what part of space you came from."

"I would like that as well." Rarity stammered, feeling as if she wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words.

Fancypants gave the group a curt bow, before walking out of the restaurant.

"That guy is the pinnacle of classy mothefuckers." Tucker said after a few moments of silence

"You could probably take a few lessons from him." Rainbow Dash chuckled.

"What are you talking about? I'm on a whole different plane of existence in terms of class!"

"Sure you are, Blue." Sarge chortled.

"Satisfied that everything went well?" Twilight asked, noting how Church was not looking as grim as he did at the beginning.

"Night's not over yet." Church shrugged.

"Is there anything I can get you folks for dessert?" The waiter asked, still not having left the table.

"Yeah, I'll have another salad!" Pinkie smiled. "Oh, and three more banana splits. They're so good here!"

"Y'know what?" Tex asked quietly. "I'll have one too."

"Okay, anyone else?" The waiter asked, taking each of their orders as they said them. Once she had taken them all, and promised Caboose that she didn't know what Lucky Charms were, she set off to the kitchen.

"Come on, Church, can't you at least try to pretend that there is even the slightest chance that nothing can go wrong tonight?" Twilight asked.

"Pretending isn't my thing." Church sighed.

"Come on, you're making me feel mopey." Tucker chastised Church with a rough laugh.

"Well at least there's one bright side." Church muttered sarcastically. "But so far you've been right about tonight. It has been sort of fun. Well, aside from Caboose tearing apart the train."

"Maybe that was the bad thing you felt about tonight."

"Maybe." Church shrugged.

"Desserts coming right up." The server said as she came out of the kitchen.

The server trotted up to them, holding a large tray of desserts. She quickly gave them their desserts, and turned to go to another table, but went to fast and tripped, sending the rest of the desserts flying in the air.

"Told you so." Church said with a sigh of relief.

The assorted treats splattered many of the surrounding tables patrons.

"Food fight!" Pinkie yelled, pulling a cannon out from under the table.

"Okay, seriously, why the hell does she have access to so many cannons?" Tex asked curiously.

"Pinkie, don't-"

Before Twilight could stop her, Pinkie slammed her hoof on the button on the side of the cannon, sending an array of treats shooting out of it, splattering several other patrons. Then the yelling started.

"Now I can relax." Church said, munching on his small piece of cake as the chaos broke out.

Aftermath

"You'd think these swank ponies would be running away from a food fight." Sarge murmured as he watched the dozens of ponies act like children.

"Lighten up, wouldja?" A voice said from beside him.

Sarge turned to see who was speaking to him, but ended up turning his head right into a pie.

"Who did that?" Sarge snapped as he wiped the muck from his face.

"Sorry Sarge." Applejack said as she sprinted away with a coy grin. "Mah hoof musta slipped."

Sarge glared at her for a few seconds, when something appeared in the corner of his eye. He grabbed Tucker by his neck and began dragging him towards the object that caught his eye.

"What gives?" Tucker snapped, tearing himself out of Sarge's grip.

"I was just thinking about showing these namby pamby horses how real soldiers deal with fights." Sarge smirked, motioning towards a large table that had hundreds of treats laying on it. He tensed his hind legs and kicked a chair, causing it to smash into the wall. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"This should be good." Tucker nodded as sparks began shooting off of his forelegs.

"Where are they going?" Rainbow Dash asked, flying well above the flying pastries, dodging the occasional stray that came her way.

"Hell if I know." Tex grunted. "But I'm about to find out."

"No, you have to stay here!" Rarity yelped, grabbing onto Tex's hind legs.

"Why?"

"If you stay out in the open you run the risk of dirtying my skirt!"

"Fine." Tex muttered reluctantly.

Rarity quickly crawled under the table to avoid getting dirty. Tex glared at Tucker and Sarge who were conversing with each other near the large table.

"Hey Tex, think fast!" Grif chuckled, throwing several small brownies that he ordered at her.

Tex's eyes snapped open. She kicked her chair into the air, grabbed it with her teeth and swung it at the oncoming treats, splattering most of them while sending a few of them towards Fluttershy. Fluttershy threw her forelegs over her head in fear, waiting to get hit by the half dozen confectionery. She heard the sound of them hitting her, but did not feel anything. She peeked out from under her hair to see Grif standing in front of her, face completely glazed.

"These taste great! I'm glad I ordered them." Grif said, using his tongue to wipe the icing off of the area around his mouth. He then smiled at Fluttershy and motioned towards the table. "Might want to get under the table if you don't want to get hit."

Fluttershy smiled back at him, then dove under the table as another stray cake flew her way, leaving the cake to hit Twilight in her face.

"Okay, I'm going to stop this now." Twilight said annoyingly, horn burning brightly.

"Let them have their fun." Church said, placing his hoof on her back.

"You want them to do this?" Twilight asked confusedly, forgetting about her spell.

"Well this fun doesn't seem particularly deadly, and the waiter will probably be the one that gets treated like the one who started it since she was the one who tripped."

"Then what are you going to do?" Twilight asked.

"I'm going to enjoy my meal." Church said with a smile, sitting back down. "Care to join me?"

"S-sure." Twilight blushed, taking her seat next to him. "I think my dessert was already thrown."

"No problem, I have an idea." Church said, looking around the restaurant. His eyes quickly rested on the table next to them, where he could see a slightly overweight Canterlot pony cowering under his table, being one of the only few who were doing so. "Hey, want some advice?"

'What?" The gray unicorn asked.

"Might not want to eat that cake of yours seeing as it looks like you already ate everyone else's."

"Why I never." The unicorn snarled. Reaching out from under the table he grabbed a cake and threw it at Church's face.

"Thanks." Church half waved to him, grabbing the cake out of the air with his magic before placing it in front of Twilight.

"Thank you." Twilight said. Picking up her fork with her magic, she stabbed a small chunk and put it in her mouth. "This is rather good, would you like a piece?"

"Why not?" Church smiled, grabbing a piece with his fork. "I can sort of see why Grif likes eating so much now."

"Speaking of me, save a slice for me for when this is over." Grif chuckled, tossing another pie.

"Sure thing."

"Go for it Blue!" Sarge snapped from the other side of the restaurant.

"Okay, now we might need to go under the table." Church sighed.

"What? Why?" Twilight asked.

A flash suddenly erupted in the restaurant, causing most of the ponies to shield their eyes. Twilight slowly opened her eyes to see Tucker spinning above a table, forelegs spread to his side, cutting the large, pastry filled table into bits with his electric blade. As the pieces of the table flew into the air, Sarge ran alongside each one, kicking them as hard as he could, showering the restaurant with baked goods. Church grabbed hold of Twilight and jumped under the table with her. Tex followed their lead an dove under the table as the pieces of food splattered against everyone else.

"Did you save me that cake?" Grif asked, just barely managing to dive under the table.

"Yeah." Church smirked, holding out the plate to him.

"Thank god!" Grif said, picking off bits to toss into his mouth.

"That escalated quickly." Simmons said curiously. "I mean, that really got out of hand fast."

"It certainly did jump up a few notches." Rarity agreed.

"It did, didn't it?"

"Yeah, I stabbed a guy in the heart." Caboose smiled.

"What?" Church asked quickly.

"Yeah, this other pony man had a banana split too, and we used them like swords! I hit him in the heart with it and he laughed."

"Okay, good."

The table cloth lifted up and the group looked to see Rainbow Dash and Applejack peeking under the table, both completely covered in food.

"Why are you guys hiding? You missed all the fun!" Rainbow Dash chuckled.

"Well that was interesting." Tex muttered, crawling out from under the table.

"I'll say. You somehow managed to keep your dress clean." Church smirked.

"It's a skirt." Tex muttered, raising a brow at Rarity's gasp. "What? I don't want out correcting me every time I call it a dress."

"Nevertheless, thank you for managing to keep it in tact." Rarity said with a nod of approval. "Chocolate is always so hard to get out of silk."

"Did you guys see that?" Tucker asked as he and Sarge slowly walked back to the group from the other side of the restaurant, chuckling the entire way.

"See what?" Church asked.

"The look on all their faces when we did that!"

"Of course he didn't!" Sarge said happily. "He was too busy cowering under a table to see that their lives were flashing before their eyes."

"Think they'll be mad that we got them that bad?" Tucker asked.

"Probably, but at least now they really are a part of the upper crust." Sarge remarked. His eyes then rested on Applejack, who was covered from tail to muzzle in food. "Seems like I got you back good."

"Ah'll say." Applejack smiled, wiping the worst off her face with the table cloth.

"Don't mean to burst our little bubble of fun here, but who's going to be paying for that table?" Tex asked suddenly.

"Eh, they can write it off under insurance." Tucker shrugged.

"I don't think businesses are covered by what you guys did."

"Hey, you never know." Tucker laughed. "Tell you what, desserts my treat."

"How generous." Tex said sarcastically.

"I told you I'm on my own level of class." Tucker shrugged. "Now let's get the fuck out of here before someone comes in to yell at everyone."

"Who is responsible for this?" A voice shouted from the kitchen.

"That's our cue." Tucker said quickly, flying towards the exit. As he passed their waiters he reached under his wing, pulled out a small bag of bits and tossed it at them with his teeth. "That should cover our dessert."

"Uh, okay." The mare said with a shaky smile as the others trotted out the door. "Have a good night."

Taking Residents

"Well that was fun." Sarge chuckled once they were a safe distance away from the restaurant. "I'm surprised those snooty guys got so into it."

"Being up here has to be kind of boring, so they'd probably jump at any chance for fun." Rainbow Dash smirked. "Highlight of my week right there."

"The highlight of mine was that we actually dined with Fancypants. Who would have known my designs would get to be seen in one of Flint Westhoof's pieces." Rarity said, starry-eyed. She turned to Simmons and coughed. "I mean our pieces of course."

"So how did you like dinner Tex?" Twilight asked. "After all, we did come here for you."

"It was nice... I think..." Tex shrugged. "I don't know, it was something else, that's for sure."

"Something else is an understatement." Church said, shaking his head lightly. "But the food was surprisingly not terrible, Tex kept her low profile, and nobody got anything hurt besides their pride, so I guess I could consider this night a success."

"I'm surprised by how well you're taking this." Tucker noted. "I thought you'd be-"

"Do you have any idea how fucking stupid you are breaking out your key like that?" Church asked flatly. "What if someone had noticed?"

"They didn't dude, I made sure I made it bright. Besides, they were too busy fighting to pay any attention to anything else."

"How did you make it bright anyways?' Twilight asked. "I wouldn't have thought you'd have control over that sort of thing."

"I'm just that good." Tucker laughed.

"Probably had to do with all the reflective surfaces." Twilight said dismissively as they reached the train station.

"What happened?" The stallion at the station gasped.

"Got into a heck of a food fight, that's what happened." Applejack smirked. "Fourteen tickets t' Ponyville. Split 'em evenly between two carts again."

"Alright." The stallion smiled.

Caboose opened his mouth, but Church put his hoof over it instinctively for two seconds, when he was sure Caboose had lost his train of thought.

"Er, I apologize, but I have to go grab some tickets out of the back." The stallion muttered quietly, disappearing into the back room.

"I got so much chocolate in my mane you can't even see it's natural colors..." Rainbow Dash sighed as she grabbed a piece of cake off of her mane and dropped it to the ground.

"You look good as a brunette." Tucker smiled.

"Gee thanks." Rainbow Dash muttered. "Was that bit at the end really necessary?"

"I admit, it might have been little overkill but it was Sarge's idea."

"If AJ didn't get me with that cheap shot I would have played fair." Sarge muttered.

"Cry me a river." Applejack said sarcastically. "Speakin' of outdoin' each other, ah was thinkin' we should restart our lil' competition."

"And why would we do that?" Sarge laughed roughly. "I've already proven I'm better."

"Really now?" Applejack said with a raised brow. "Th' way ah see it ya only have one point while ah have two."

"How so?"

"Ya'll guilted me into givin' you two of your points. Once with the timberwolves, an' another with Carolina."

"That's because you ran away."

"Because ya'll told me to. The first time ah needed to run away on account a th' girls, n' th' second time ah had t' go warn th' others. One of us had to go either way, just so happens that you volunteered to go into danger, so ah hardly say those times count."

"She has a point, Sarge." Grif smirked.

"But my ankle doesn't work as well as it used to since it got stabbed."

"Nonsense, ah've seen ya run just fine with it." Applejack tutted. "What's wrong, are ya scared?"

"Fine, we can start it over." Sarge said confidently. "But don't come crying to me when you lose again."

"If it's any consolation, I can help you come up with some competitions." Grif said.

"Do that and you're dead."

The back room's door opened, and the stallion strutted out with several tickets, so the group lined up to grab their respective ticket.

"Sorry for the wait." The stallion said, holding out the tickets. When Rainbow Dash and Applejack reached for their tickets, he pulled his hoof away and motioned to the room next to him. "You have a few minutes until the train leaves, so do you mind cleaning yourselves up a bit in there? We already had to replace the seats once tonight, I don't think anypony wants do do it a second time."

"Sure." Rainbow Dash and Applejack nodded, trotting into the room to clean themselves off.

"So, a food fight, huh?" The stallion asked as Pinkie and Caboose went for their tickets.

"Yeah, it was a doozy too!" Pinkie giggled. "I never knew that the fancy unicorns up here could be so much fun."

"You'd be surprised." The stallion nodded. "In my line of work, I've seen a lot of ponies act one way, then turn out to be just as normal as everyone else."

Rainbow Dash and Applejack came out a few moments later.

"Looking good." Tucker said, squinting his eyes to focus on her mane which still had a relative amount of cake in it. "Missed a spot."

"Let's board already." Rainbow Dash said, trotting to the cart.

The group quickly went into the separate carts and settled in their seats, waiting for the ticket collector to come by. Church looked at Sarge, whose face showed that he was thinking about something. After a few minutes, the door opened and the ticket collector walked in.

"Hey, sorry about the cushions..." Church said quietly when the stallion took his ticket.

"Don't worry about it." The stallion said hastily, forcing a laugh.

"What's wrong?"

The stallion looked at the door to the other cart, making sure that nobody was standing near it.

"I think we should pay for the seats, so just-"

"Don't worry about paying, pal." The stallion shivered. "That red headed mare scares me."

"Don't worry, she has that effect on everyone." Grif laughed.

The stallion nodded and walked into the other cart to collect the girls tickets.

"Uh, small thing here, but don't the other fragments have to eat now too?" Sarge coughed.

"Oh shit." Church lunged off of his seat, but eased back into it and sighed. "We shouldn't worry. Delta probably already thought of that."

"But how will he know if something is edible or not?" Simmons asked." I mean, none of us know for sure what we can eat. All we've been eating is stuff we could have gotten before."

"And thousands of apples." Sarge murmured.

"I'll check on them tomorrow." Church explained quietly. "Tex is already fitting in, so there is no sense in leaving them down there."

"So I guess that Gary guy is coming up next, huh?" Spike asked.

"Yeah, and we're going to need a place for him to stay. There's no more room at Twilight's, and I'm sure as hell not sharing my bed with him."

"I can see what I can do about him staying at Sweet Apple Acres."

"You'd do that? Why?" Church asked hesitantly.

"Now that the Apple family sort of sees me as family, there's talk of Applebloom moving her bed into AJ's room so I can take up her old room since they don't like the idea of family sleeping in the dirt." Sarge shrugged, but added a small smile. "I think that this might give them that little push to get it done. Besides, I want to have a little chat with that Gary guy."

"Sure thing. Thanks."

"And there is probably enough room in there for a couple more of them. A lot of rope too, just in case we need to string 'em up for bad behavior." Sarge chuckled.

"Wow." Grif said, feigning a gasp. "Sarge, I'm surprised. That plan didn't even involve-"

"I say we test the rope on Grif first, just in case. You know, to make sure it's in proper roping condition. We may want to punish them, but we don't want to give them serious rope burn!"

"And there it is." Grif muttered as the train began leaving the station.

Convincing Arguments

Convincing Arguments

"That certainly was a drastic turn of events." Twilight noted as she watched the passing trees.

"You'll get used to it around those guys." Tex smirked. "They always manage to dig themselves into a pit of shit."

"And I suppose you see yourself as the one that drags them out?" Rarity asked.

"Of course not. I'm the one who stands on the edge waving goodbye." Tex chuckled, then sighed in annoyance. "Just so happens that since I'm standing on the edge they pull me down with them."

"You really dislike them, don't you?" Fluttershy asked quietly.

Tex gave Fluttershy a petulant look, causing her to look away.

"I mean, I guess they aren't that bad on their own. Well Grif is. And so is Tucker. Caboose can be a little bit of a handful. Same with Church and Sarge." Tex said, pausing to think. "Actually, the only one who's alright on his own is Simmons. That guy has a head on his shoulders and knows how to follow orders. I can't bring myself to hate him for that. But when they're all together it's just terrible."

"That's fair." Applejack nodded reluctantly, causing the others to look at her. "Ah mean, just look at Grif n' Sarge. Sarge is a hard worker, and can be kind when he wants t' be. But put Grif in th' room n' bam. He becomes hostile and angry."

"Yeah, these guys are strange." Rainbow Dash snickered, trying to brighten the mood. "But that's what makes them fun to be around, you know?"

"Ah guess." Applejack chuckled. "Him wanting t' prove better than Grif has proven t' be useful. Especially when it comes t' harvestin' apples."

"Sarge seems to rely on his pride more than anything else." Twilight smiled.

"Yeah, but that ain't really a bad thing." Applejack shrugged. "Pride's a good thing t' have."

"I never said it wasn't." Twilight nodded.

Soon the train stopped at the Ponyville train station and they quickly dismounted. The group gathered in the middle of the train station to talk one last time before going.

"Well, I certainly hope this night was as delightful for all of you as it was for Simmons and I." Rarity said sincerely, looking over the skirt once more to make sure it was in perfect condition.

"So is this what it's like to be on a break?" Simmons asked Grif in a confused.

"Sort of." Grif shrugged. "Except for that last part. I wish all breaks tasted that good."

"How much of the food did you throw compare to how much you ate?" Sarge asked with a rough laugh.

"I'd say it's about fifty-fifty." Grif smirked.

"Well at least this time you didn't sell your ammo to the Blues. This time you just ate it."

"Baby steps, sir." Grif said with a mock salute.

"Babies? Where?" Caboose said quickly, followed by a yawn.

"Caboose and I should probably go to sleep soon." Pinkie giggled at the tired eyed Caboose.

"But I don't want to sleep." Caboose pouted.

"But tomorrow is a whole new day filled with adventure."

"I love adventure." Caboose said excitedly.

"Good, but you have to sleep to be able to be ready." Pinkie said, hopping in Sugar Cube Corner's general direction.

"Okay." Caboose said quickly, slowly hopping after her.

"I like the idea of sleep too." Grif said, walking away from the train. "Not sure about the adventure though..."

Fluttershy looked back at Tex, who was talking to Rarity, then turned back to Grif and nodded. Fluttershy then caught up with Grif and began walking home, followed by Tucker and Rainbow Dash leaving the station.

"Still got some stuff on your hat." Sarge said jokingly to Applejack.

"What?" Applejack asked, taking off her hat to look at it, only to grumble once she saw it. "Darn it, thought ah got it all..."

Applejack slowly walked up to the ticket station and hit the service bell.

"Hello again, what can I do for you?" The mare asked pleasantly.

"Hey, d'ya mind if ah clean up mah hat a bit in there?" Applejack asked, pointing to the stall next to the ticket booth.

"Sure thing, let me unlock it for you." The mare nodded, sliding a key under the glass. "Just bring it back when you're done."

"Much appreciated." Applejack said, tipping her hat to the mare before grabbing the key with her teeth.

Once Applejack was inside, Church began walking towards the stall with Sarge.

"Where are you going?" Tex asked curiously.

"We're going to convince Applejack to let the others stay at her place. It shouldn't take too long, so don't run off ahead."

"Whatever, just try and be quick about it." Tex rolled her eyes, about to take a seat on the ground.

"Don't sit on the ground, do you have any idea how dirty it is?" Rarity asked hastily, practically jumping under Tex.

"Right, sorry." Tex grunted insincerely. "I guess I'll just stand here."

"Great. Have a fine night Tex, bring me back the skirt whenever you please." Rarity said anxiously, waving as her and Simmons left the train station.

"Hang on Church, I'll come too." Twilight said, trotting next to Sarge. "You might need some help convincing her."

"Sounds fine to me." Sarge said indifferently as they stopped by the break room.

Church knocked on the door, not wanting to wait for her to come out.

"Can this wait?" Applejack asked pleasantly as she began scraping the icing off of the hat.

"Maybe, but I think it's something we both want to get over with." Church said.

"What are ya talkin' about?" Applejack asked narrowly, opening the door a crack.

"Now that Tex is all set up here, Church decided he was going to grab Gary tomorrow morning and he needs a place to stay." Sarge explained, adding a small smile. "But I think we'll need to put Applebloom in your room so I can take hers."

"Ya want me t' take in Gary?"

"Not just Gary, we'll need you to look after most of the others too." Church said hesitantly. "I know that's a lot to ask since you probably find it difficult to trust just one of them, let alone three."

"Ya don't say. Twi, can ah have a word with ya?" Applejack asked quietly, opening the door wide.

Twilight shared a look with Sarge and Church, before walking in to the room.

"So what's this about ya'll wantin' th' fragments t' stay with me?" Applejack asked, closing the door behind her.

"Well it's just that there isn't any room anywhere else for them. Rarity, Fluttershy and I don't have any room for them, they can't openly access Rainbow Dash's home since none of them are pegasi, and Pinkie isn't exactly the most capable in terms of responsibility."

"Ah don't know Twi." Applejack shook her head slowly. "Ah wouldn't feel 'specially comfortable doin' that. What if Gary goes n' possesses Applebloom?"

"He won't, you have my word."

"Ah don't know..."

"Don't you trust me?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Of course ah trust ya, Twi. Ah trust ya one hundred percent. It's th' fragments ah don't trust."

"But there's nowhere else we can keep them, and I don't feel too happy about letting them loose in Ponyville. At least at the farm there is enough room for them, and different ways to keep them locked up. We can make this work out."

Applejack sighed and shook her head, thinking about what Delta had said about how dangerous they are.

"Please, Applejack." Twilight said quietly.

"Fine, but ah'll try t' think of a few rules for 'em to abide to. And if they so much as break one of 'em, they're out." Applejack muttered. "Not like ah trust 'em t' listen anyways..."

"Thank you. I'm sure once we've talked to them they'll see they have no other choice."

"Ah hope so." Applejack said with an unconvinced smile.

Unusual Frienship

"Wake up Church, time for you to go." Tex said as she kicked Church off the bed.

"What time is it?"

"I don't know, I think around ten." Tex shrugged.

"Why didn't you wake me up earlier?" Church asked. "I told you to wake me up at seven."

"What am I? Your fucking alarm clock? I felt like letting you sleep in for once. You're sure as hell not going to let yourself do it." Tex muttered as she pulled the covers back over her.

Church grumbled as he opened the door to his room and made his way downstairs.

"Aw, if it isn't sleeping beauty!" The Necronomicon chuckled. "Aren't you late for your appointment?"

"How's your little relationship with that book going?" Church asked sarcastically.

"Amazingly. We're talking about having kids, you know."

"Are you serious?" Church asked flatly, but yawned loudly as the Necronomicon began to answer. "You know what, don't answer that. I think it would be better if I didn't know the details."

"Good choice." Twilight smiled, coming out of the kitchen with Spike, who was carrying a plate with a few sandwiches on it. "Are you hungry?"

"A little bit, but I can eat when I come back."

"You sure you won't be too busy with Gary?" Spike asked.

"Good point." Church muttered.

Spike smiled and held the plate up as Church grabbed one of the sandwiches, before sitting at the table with another yawn.

"You slept in and you're still tired?" Spike asked.

"Mhm." Church mumbled as he quickly ate the sandwich and began making his way to the door.

"Give me a moment and I'll be right with you." Twilight said.

"I'd prefer to do it alone, if it's all the same to you." Church said as he opened the door.

"Of course. but be careful." Twilight nodded.

"When am I not careful?"

"Good point." Twilight giggle lightly.

Church quickly made his way through town, mind already thinking about how many ways that this day could go wrong. Thinking of this helped pass the time as he made his way through Ponyville, only to take a small break at the edge of the Everfree.

"Sup, Church?" Grif asked, peeking down from the cloud he was resting on. "Grabbing Gary now?"

"Yeah, I am." Church nodded. "Y'know I'm surprised that you're using your wings so much."

"Why? Do you have any idea-"

"Yeah, it's comfy, you keep saying. I just mean isn't it more work?"

"Well it takes like over a hundred muscles to lift a leg, and I have four of those. That means I'm using over four hundred muscles to walk!"

"Are you sure of that number?" Church asked.

"I think Simmons said humans use something like two hundred to lift one leg, and since we have four legs and are half as tall, I figured it takes one hundred for each one."

"That... doesn't sound right." Church muttered.

"Well it's as close as I'm going to bother to guess."

"How many muscles do your wings use?"

"Hell if I know, I just assume that it's less."

"Ignorance is bliss, right?" Church asked as he got up from the ground.

"Exactly." Grif said, turning his back onto the cloud, knowing that Church was done with his break.

"Have fun with your sleep." Church sighed.

"I most definitely-" Grif began, but quickly fell asleep and began snoring loudly.

Church muttered something incomprehensibly and walked into the Everfree Forest. Once inside, he set a fast pace for the rubble of the castle ruins, not wanting to stop anywhere. He made quick time with no interruptions, but stopped at the bridge in front of the ruins when he saw two shadowy figures coming towards the bridge from the other side. Thinking quickly, he ducked behind a tree to not be seen, not taking any chances in case the two figures were not any of the fragments. After waiting breathlessly for a few seconds he began to hear the clatter of hooves hitting the wooden bridge. He looked around the area and saw no other adjacent trees, so once they crossed the bridge he would be in their sights and he had nowhere he could go. He looked up and saw a loose branch. He used his magic to shake it loose from the other branches, being sure to be quiet, getting ready to use it as a means of defense.

"I appreciate you helping us, and I apologize for any inconveniences I may have caused." One of the voices said.

Church relaxed, instantly placing the voice as Delta. Now it was a matter of who he was talking to. Knowing that Delta wouldn't be so quick to thank a violent person, he lowered the branch and waited for them to see him.

The second voice hushed Delta once they crossed the bridge.

"Do not be alarmed." Delta said, continuing past the second being. "Allison is fully settled in."

"Yeah." Church said, getting out from behind the tree. His eyes settled on the second figure.

"It is Zecora." Delta said when he saw Church's expression.

"What's she doing here?" Church asked with genuine curiosity.

"I explained our predicament to Zecora and she was more than willing to help us"

"You told her?" Church asked hastily. Knowing Delta, Church was sure that he told her everything.

"Yes, though she didn't appreciate my analysis on her speaking patterns." Delta said curiously.

"I'll bet." Church smirked. "Why is she helping you?"

"As soon as you left I recalled how here I seem to have a need for food and rest. Not knowing anything about the surrounding area, I sought her out, explained who I was, and who we are. She was more than kind enough to tell me what places to search for food, what is poisonous, which areas have the cleanest water, and what places were protected by territorial creatures."

Church shifted worriedly and looked to Zecora with a downtrodden look of helplessness.

"You do not have to worry about word of mouth, my friend. For you, I will keep this a secret until the end." Zecora said, smiling tightly.

"Delta annoyed you a lot about your way of speech, didn't he?" Church sighed, to which Zecora replied to with a half annoyed nod. "Sorry about that. I assumed that people must bring that up a lot, and that's why you decided to live out here."

"Do not worry, I know my way of speech causes much confusion, but that is not the reason that I prefer seclusion." Zecora shook her head. "But that is a question that I will answer on another day. But now I think you should do what you need and I will go my way."

"Alright. Thanks Zecora, it's nice to know that I can trust you." Church said appreciatively. Turning to Delta, he nodded to show he was ready to go.

"Ah, you wish to leave now." Delta said as he met Church's nod with one of his own. Delta turned to Zecora and bowed her head. "I will hope that while I go with Church you wait here for me."

"Why would she do that?" Church asked.

"She requested that I help her with her potion making." Delta said, raising his head. "Ones that she would not regularly be able to do on her own. That was where I was going before you arrived."

"Take all the time you need, I will wait by this tree." Zecora said, simply sitting next to the tree that Church had hid behind.

"And I thank you for it." Delta said, beginning to cross the bride.

"Not really a direct rhyme that time." Church noted as he turned to walk away with Delta.

Church and Delta made their way across the bridge and climbed atop the rubble, most of which was cleared off to the side, where the walls used to be, when Church paused for a break.

"Is something the matter?" Delta asked.

"So you and Zecora, huh?"

"If you are implying that we are entering a certain stage of romance, I am afraid your implications are incorrect. She simply wishes for help for the potions since they require assistance, and since she does not believe that the residents of Ponyville would be likely to help her, she asked that I assist her. And I simply wish to know more about this world, be it magic or potion making."

"Of course, why would I think otherwise?"

"Possibly because you believe that since I require the moderate needs of sentient beings, that I require the most basic ones as well." Delta said, pausing by the rubble. "But it now occurs to me that your question was either rhetorical or sarcastic."

"Let's just get on with it." Church sighed.

"Certainly." Delta nodded, quickly teleporting Church and himself down into the catacombs.

Awkward Introductions

"You're back already?" Theta asked when he saw Church standing next to Delta.

"Tex is good now, so we figured now we'd just pick you guys up as you get settled rather than wait a whole week." Church said. He turned to see Gary sitting in one of the corners and nodded to him. "That means you're up."

"Good, these living conditions are horrible." Gary said with disgust as he began walking towards Church. "I dare say that I wouldn't even make a shisno live here."

"It's not that bad." Theta said quietly, using his magic to grab a lit torch off the wall. "So Tex managed to fit in?"

"Yeah, it surprised me too." Church chuckled.

Theta nodded, focusing on the torch with his color changing eyes.

"Feeling a little nervous?"

"A little." Theta nodded, before smiling and placing the torch back on the wall.

"How's watching after O'Malley and Sigma?"

"They're kind of keeping to themselves now, so we haven't had to keep them apart, but we're still watching them."

"Good."

"Chatting is for shisnos, Theta, you should know that." Gary said, stepping next to Church. He then turned to Delta and coughed. "Beam us up, Scotty."

"Very well." Delta said, and within a second, the three of them were in front of the bridge.

"Ah, fresh air." Gary said. He inhaled heavily through his nostrils and began crossing the bridge. "Well, let's be off!"

Once the three had crossed the bridge, Zecora got up from behind the tree and lowered her head.

"I apologize for the wait, while it was unexpected, doing this was necessary."

"There is no need for you to apologize, my friend." Zecora said, raising her head. "The day is still young, so we have much time to spend."

"I am glad you feel that way." Delta nodded. "Now, you said you were still missing some ingredients?"

Zecora nodded towards another pathway.

"I apologize, but you will have to escort Gary out yourself." Delta said to Church.

"Yeah, sure, have fun on your date." Church said.

Delta nodded, before following Zecora down the other path, while Church and Gary continued through the forest.

"So have you made any plans, or are you only going to act when your shisno senses are tingling?" Gary asked.

"A little bit of both." Church muttered. "You'll be staying with Applejack."

"That's a good joke." Gary chuckled, but his expression shifted to one of fear. "You aren't joking, are you?"

"No, I'm not. She's the only one with enough room to keep you guys in our reach at all times." Church sighed.

"Feeling a little unprepared, shisno?"

"That's one way to put it."

"How about I make you feel better by telling you one of my many witty knock knock jokes?"

Church set a fast pace to Sweet Apple Acres, while Gary followed suit, spouting knock knock jokes nonstop. He even continued his own jokes once Church had stopped responding to him.

"Knock knock. Who's there? Gary. Gary who? Gary is about to have a miserable time with-"

"Knock knock." Church said suddenly after ten minutes of walking.

"Who's there?" Gary asked gleefully.

"Amsterdam."

"Amsterdam who?"

"Amsterdam tired of your fucking knock knock jokes." Church muttered as they reached the farm.

"You're no fun." Gary muttered.

Church shook his head, walked up to the door and knocked on it out of irony.

"Who's there?" A voice came from inside.

"Church and Gary." Church said.

"Church and Gary who?"

"Jesus fucking- just open the damn door!"

he door swung open to show Sarge looking at the tired Church with a smirk.

"What's so funny?" Church asked.

"Just thinking about how much you probably hated walking with him. Makes me smile." Sarge said, but lost the smirk when he looked at Gary. "You and I need to have a talk later."

"I have nothing to say to you." Gary sniffed. "Well, I do have-"

"Yeah, yeah." Sarge grumbled as he turned inside. "They're here!"

"Comin', just give me a sec t' finish what ah'm doin'." Applejack said from the living room.

"Aren't you going to invite us in?" Gary asked pleasantly.

"You wish. You're not allowed in this building." Sarge said as Big Mac came to his side, so he fell silent.

"Who's this?" Big Mac asked.

"His name is Gary, and he' going to be staying here with you." Church answered.

"He is?" Big Mac asked curiously.

"Didn't Applejack tell you?"

"Eenope." Big Mac shook his head.

"Well then it is a pleasant surprise for all of us." Gary smiled.

"Alright, now that you're hear ah can-" Applejack started once she reached the bottom of the steps, but stopped in her tracks when she saw Big Mac standing in front of Gary.

"So we have a guest stayin' here now, hm?" Big Mac asked.

"Er, yeah." Applejack nodded embarrassingly as she walked past him to get to Gary,

"Am I missing something?" Church asked.

"A bit less than Big Mac right now." Applejack nodded. "Listen, BM, ah'll explain it to ya in a bit."

"Well you'll have to be doin' a lot of explainin'." Big Mac muttered, walking back inside.

"What'd he mean by that?" Church asked curiously.

"Nothin'." Applejack shook her head. "Ya'll mind if ah talk t' Gary in private?"

"Sure." Sarge said, going inside and closing the door behind him.

"Yeah, I should probably be getting back anyways." Church sighed as he began walking away. "Thanks again for doing this Applejack."

"No problem." Applejack said as she turned to Gary. "Follow me, ah'll show ya where you'll be sleepin'."

"Ah, that reminds me of-"

"No jokes." Applejack said testily, stopping in front of the barn. Gary shrugged and continued onwards, but Applejack blocked his path. "Before ya come in, ya have t' promise me a few things."

"I promise I'll be on my best behavior." Gary said with a smile.

"Mhm. Just realized ah can't trust ya t' answer honestly." Applejack mumbled, but straightened up and kept her eyes on Gary. "All th' same, there are a few rules ya must follow."

"And what are these completely fair and honest rules?"

"The first one is no possessin' mah family." Applejack said icily, pointing at Gary. "If ya'll so much as possess my lil' sister for one second, ah'll personally see to it that Sarge uses them ropes in the corner on ya like he wants."

"You're going to rope me up like a pig if I don't listen to these rules? Not very original, shisno."

"That's another thing. Quit sayin' shisno. We're ponies, not shisnos. Your funny little voice is enough t' give ya as much unneeded attention as pear season as is." Applejack said, before falling quiet. It wasn't until Gary opened his mouth that she continued. "And no knock knock jokes."

"Well I suppose I should just give up right now, because I certainly can't do either of those." Gary said defensively. "Shisno."

"Ah'm not a shisno!" Applejack said, stomping her hoof on the ground.

"Search your feelings, you know it to be true." Gary chuckled.

"What does shisno even mean?" Applejack asked quietly.

"Ah, what is the most foul smelling creature on this planet?"

"Uh, ah don't know, t' be honest. Ah'm not one t' study creatures. Ah'm sure either Fluttershy or Twi could tell ya."

"Do you have skunks?" Gary asked curiously, and Applejackk nodded. "And I am sure you are aware that skunks defecate?"

"Of course." Applejack said quietly.

"Now if one were to believe that said defecation can defecate itself, then you will know what a shisno is."

"That's disgusting."

"I forget. Shisno is the name of the excrement of the excrement of a smelly animal, but what did they call the excrement of said excrement?"

"Ah didn't say find a different thing t' call us, ah said to stop calling us it!" Applejack said snappishly. "Though ah guess tellin' ya how to speak shouldn't really be a rule, but ah'd appreciate it if ya tried t' cut down on it. Ya'll are one of us now anyways,so callin' us names is callin' yourself one too."

"Don't remind me." Gary shuddered.

"Now, let's get ya settled in th' farm, then we can decide what to do next from there. Gotta help ya find your talent. Ah'll also try t' think of some more rules, but ya'll don't seem violent like th' others, so tellin' ya t' not hurt anypony seems pointless." Applejack mumbled as she walked towards the farm house, speaking up only as Gary opened his mouth. "Ah doubt tellin' jokes is your talent."

Gary mumbled his joke under his breath, then slowly made his way to the farm with Applejack.

Misinterpretations

"Now ah know this barn might make ya think we're built outta bits, seein' as how well built she is, but we aren't." Applejack said as she opened the door to the barn and walked in. "That's why while ya live here ya'll will be expected t' help us around the acres and work hard."

"Anything a shisno can do, I can do better." Gary sniffed.

"Ya'll say that now." Applejack smirked to herself as she walked up to a pile of hay. "Now this is where ya'll be hunkerin' down from here on out."

"But this is a pile of grass." Gary huffed. "Reminds me of a joke... you wanna hear it?"

"Not really."

"Come on, you can't expect me to quit cold turkey!"

"Fine, what's the joke?" Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Hay."

"Hay who?"

"Hay, I'm not a pig, so I refuse to sleep in the dirt!" Gary said, booming with laughter. After a few seconds, his laughing eased up and he coughed. "But seriously, this is unacceptable."

"Ah'm sorry ya feel that way, but there ain't nothin' we can do." Applejack smiled brazenly.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Ah'd be lyin' if ah said no." Applejack chuckled.

"I don't think I like you very much..." Gary grumbled.

"Feelin' is a little mutual." Applejack nodded, turning back to the entrance. "Now that ya know where ya'll will be sleeping, we can-"

"We can what?" Gary asked, turning to the door.

Gary stopped in his tracks when he saw Big Mac standing in the doorway, making no effort to be hidden.

"Hey BM, whacha doin'?" Applejack said, laughing weakly.

"Jus' makin' sure nothin' funny is happenin' in here..."

"Oh, I love funny business!" Gary chuckled. "Been doing a lot of funny things with shisno over here, isn't that right?"

"Really now?" Big Mac asked, narrowing his eyes on Gary as he slowly made his way towards him.

"He didn't mean it like that!" Applejack said quickly, jumping in front of Big Mac.

"What do you mean? Of course I mean it that way, what other way could I mean it?" Gary chuckled.

"Both of you have no idea what you're thinkin' or sayin' and ya'll are just makin' matters worse." Applejack grunted.

"How? I'm just saying that I had fun insi-"

Applejack rushed over to Gary and stuffed her hat in his mouth, effectively silencing him. Applejack laughed nervously and turned to see Big Mac slowly walking towards him, eyes flaring in anger. Gary, reading Big Mac's intentions, ran away to the opposite side of the barn, where there was no source of light.

"Hold on now-"

"Move." Big Mac said, spitting out of the side of his mouth.

"Ah know what ya'll are thinkin', but it ain't how it looks."

"Oh? Ya might wanna explain fast, because it looks pretty bad." Big Mac said, breathing heavily through his nose as he kept a harsh glare on Gary, who was sitting in a dark corner, cowering in fear.

"Explain it to him, shisno! Explain it fast!" Gary said, covering his face.

"What did ya call mah sis?" Big Mac snapped, pushing Applejack to the side.

"Calm down Mac, he meant nothin' by it." Applejack promised, turning to Gary to nod. "Ain't that right?"

"Well I-"

"Ain't. That. Right." Applejack said firmly, now holding Big Mac back as he attempted to push her away.

"Of course, of course! Might I say Big Mac, that you have a- er, delightful... yoke?"

Big Mac stopped fighting and let out a heavy sigh through his nostrils, then turned to Applejack and nodded.

"Ya'll right now?" Applejack asked.

"Yes. Ah am, now let me go. Ah'll letcha talk."

Applejack nodded and released Big Mac, but stood next to him just in case he made a jump at Gary again.

"Talk." Big Mac commanded.

"Alright, now ah know what ya'll are thinkin', but Gary didn't do that to me."

"Then what did he do? Cause ah can't think of anything else he could have done to fit that sentence."

"Gary isn't a regular stallion."

"Looks fairly regular to me, besides that accent of his."

"You're one to-"

"Don't antagonize him." Applejack said quietly. "Gary here may seem t' be flesh in blood, but he ain't really all that."

"What in Equestria are ya-"

"Do it Gary." Applejack nodded.

"You want me to do it again?" Gary chuckled. "What about your rules?"

"Don't do it t' either of us." Applejack said, looking around the barn, when her eyes set on a large object. "Can ya use it on non ponies, like that thing?"

"Well, I have used it on a computer and a tank." Gary muttered as Big Mac and Applejack shared a confused look. "But I'm not sure if I can do it on a simple shisno invention like that..."

"What are ya'll on about?" Big Mac asked sternly.

"Ah'm tryin' to show ya, now will ya just hold yerself for one darn second?" Applejack said, looking back at Gary. "Ya might wanna consider attemptin' it, otherwise ah won't be able to hold BM here for much longer."

"But ya aren't holdin' me." Big Mac said, looking at his sister.

"Ah know, because when he does what he does, ya'll won't be able to fight him."

"Ah can do what ah-" Big Mac started, but stopped when Gary waas no longer sitting in the corner. "Where'd he go?"

"Over here." Gary said from behind him.

Big Mac whipped around, but could not see Gary anywhere.

"Missed me." Gary sighed.

Big Mac turned to the corner of the barn, which was completely dark due to there being no lights. But something in there gave off a faint yellow glow. Big Mac squinted his eyes as the family wagon started wheeling itself out.

"Is he behind the cart?" Big Mac asked as he slowly walked aound it.

"Guess again, genius." The wagon said.

"Did the wagon just talk?" Big Mac asked hesitantly.

"No, Gary is the wagon." Applejack said quietly. "C'mon back out, Gary."

The wagon shook violently for a few seconds, before Gary suddenly materialized out of thin air, standing with a smirk next to the wagon. Big Mac stared wide eyed at Gary, not out of fear, but out of growing curiosity.

"Y'see, when ah said Gary wasn't a real stallion, ah meant it." Applejack said softly, motioning her hoof towards Gary. "He's really more of a ghost."

"A ghost?" Big Mac asked doubtfully.

"Ah know it's hard t' believe, but how else could he have done that? He ain't a unicorn, so he can't use magic. It's hard t' explain." Applejack said as she rubbed her head with her right foreleg. "Y'know how ah said he was inside me?"

"Eeyup." Big Mac said cautiously.

"When ah said he was inside me, ah meant it in the sense that he possessed me."

"Ya possessed my sister?" Big Mac snapped.

Applejack jumped at Big Mac, but he adjusted his body so she flew over him and tumbled to the ground. Applejack looked back up to see Big Mac rolling around, hay flying everywhere.

"Big Mac, stop that now!" Applejack said snappishly.

Big mac then stopped thrashing about, got up from the ground and wiped the hay off of him. He then readjusted his yoke slightly and walked away from the pile of hay.

"Big Mac, what in the hay did you do that for?" Applejack yelled, trotting up to the pile of the hay to make sure Big Mac didn't seriously injure Gary. "Gary may not be that trustworthy, but he's still a guest, an' the Apple family don't hurt guests!"

"Oh, ah don't think he's doin' a lot of hurtin'." Big Mac said in a robotic voice, smiling coyly at Applejack.

"What did ah tell ya before comin' in here?" Applejack asked, quickly realizing Gary had possessed Big Mac.

"Come now, ah know your shisno brain is smaller than mine, but would ya really rather your brother torture me over me hidin' in here?"

"Ya could have hid in the wagon!"

"Ya'll know he woulda just smashed it t' pieces." Gary mumbled.

"Ah..." Applejack trailed off, then placed her hat back on her head. "Ah know, just get outta him."

"But-"

"Now." Applejack commanded.

Gary rolled Big Mac's eyes, then materialized behind Applejack. Big Mac stumbled and almost fell over, but recovered and shook his head. After straightening up, he lazily looked around the room for Gary.

"He's behind me." Applejack said.

"Then move." Big Mac said, trying to walk around Applejack to get to Gary. "Ah got some business t' attend to."

"Big Mac, ya'll know Ma n' Pa wouldn't have liked seein' ya act this way..." Applejack said softly.

Big Mac hesitated, then took a few steps back from Applejack and looked at the ground.

"What was the one thing Pa always told us?" Applejack asked, relieved that Big Mac was now backing down.

"Do unto others as ya'll have them do." Big Mac said ashamedly, not looking Applejack in the eyes.

"Ah know ya have my best interests at heart with me bein' your sister an' all, and ah appreciate it, ah really do. But ah promise ya ah have it under control for now. Th' only reason he did what he did was outta self defense."

"Alright." Big Mac mumbled, still avoiding Applejack's eye contact. "Ah'll be with Granny Smith if ya need me."

"Thank you." Applejack smiled, though Big Mac simply walked out without saying anything else. Applejack turned to Gary and glared at him. "Don't suppose ya'll have anythin' funny t' say."

"I do, but I think I'll keep it to myself for now." Gary said slowly. "And as a side note, I would just like to let you know that I will highly consider not crossing you or your family again."

"Glad t' hear it." Applejack nodded, slowly walking out the door. "Now let's get started."

Odd Jobs

Applejack led Gary out of the barn and to the beginning of the acres, where the trees were loaded with apples. Applejack looked at each tree for a few moments, then settled on a group of smaller trees.

"So what are you, a lumberjack or something?" Gary asked curiously, then grew a smile. "What did the lumberjack say about the mathematician who couldn’t dance?"

"Ah don't know, what?" Applejack said, deciding it would be easier to just accept the jokes than it would be to argue.

"That guy needs to learn a loga-rythme!" Gary smiled broadly, but it quickly faltered when he saw the joke went over Applejack's head. "Of course I have to live with the country shisno..."

"Sorry." Applejack huffed, now standing next to the tree. "Now give it a go."

"Give what a go?" Gary asked. "I don't see any axes or tools around here."

"We only use tools if they're neccessary, but our hooves work just fine for th' most part." Applejack nodded. "Give it a kick."

"A... kick?" Gary asked confusedly.

"Yeah, c'mon, ah'll show y how it's done." Applejack said as she flexed her back legs.

Gary watched in utter silence as Applejack kicked the tree, causing the apples to fall. Applejack smiled to herself, turned around and nodded at Gary to try.

"I've heard of some pretty stupid things, but this one really takes the shisno's grand prize of stupidity." Gary muttered as he eyed the tree contemptibly.

"Sorry ya feel that way." Applejack muttered before she walked up to Gary and pushed him next to the tree.

"Isn't there anything else I can do in this place?"

"Not unless ya want t' work in Ponyville..."

"Ugh, don't even say that sort of thing." Gary shuddered.

"Then get workin'."

Gary rolled his eyes as he brought back his hind legs, then lost his balance and fell on his face. Applejack snickered as Gary got off the ground to pat himself off.

"So much for anythin' you can do ah can do better, huh?"

"I'm fine, thank you for asking." Gary hissed, beginning to trot past Applejack. "Stupid shisnos... not knowing their manners."

"Give it another go." Applejack said, blocking his path.

"I would rather not eat the dirt, thank you very much."

"Ya won't eat anythin' if ya walk away from work..."

"But I can't do this petty field work."

"If ya wanna quit after one go, then go ahead." Applejack said as she bucked the tree, making all the apples fall again. "Then everyone will know that a shisno is better than ya."

"I thought it wasn't possible to hate you any more than I already did." Gary muttered as he walked back to the tree. "I guess I was wrong."

"Quit the speakin', get t' kickin'."

Gary brought his legs back, slowly this time, and took aim for the tree. Once he was sure he would hit it, he brought his legs back further and then keeled over again.

"Ya need t' do it quick. If ya dillydally then ya'll are obviously gunna lose balance." Applejack sighed.

"Fine, fine." Gary muttered as he got off the ground to examine the tree.

"Apples ain't gunna buck themselves." Applejack said after a minute of waiting.

Gary turned around and looked back at the tree, completely unsure of what he was doing.

"Just kick!" Applejack said loudly.

Gary hastily brought back his hind legs and kicked the tree as hard as he could. His eyes shot wide and he looked back at the tree. None of the apples had fallen. Gary then looked at his hind legs, which were now turning slightly red. Gary then yelped and fell to the ground, rolling back and forth as pain began to set into his hooves. Applejack began chuckling as she walked up to him to make sure he was alright.

"Stop laughing." Gary whined as he continued rolling on the groud.

"Why? That was th' funniest joke ah've seen ya do all day!" Applejack chortled.

A single apple then fell from the tree and hit Gary on the top of the head.

"Hey look, ya got one!" Applejack laughed.

"I hate this place. So much." Gary muttered.

"Alright, so maybe buckin' ain't your strong suit." Applejack said as she walked over to help him up.

"If I need help from a shisno, I'll ask for it." Gary said, getting up before Applejack reached him.

"Ya'll are as stubborn as a mule, y'know that?"

"Take that back."

"Since ya can't kick trees, let's go see if ya'll are good at anythin' else. Besides makin' a fool of yourself that is." Applejack sighed, walking towards the farm house.

Gary muttered something under his breath as he followed Applejack up to the front door of the farm house, where she quickly opened the door and strolled in.

"Did Gary quit yet?" Sarge asked from upstairs.

"Not yet."

"Looks like Big Mac owes me a few bits then." Sarge chuckled.

"What are ya doin'?" Applejack asked curiously.

"Helping Applebloom move her girly stuff into your room."

"It ain't girly!" Applebloom whined.

"Heh, sure it ain't."

"C'mon, Granny Smith an' Big Mac should be just in th' other room." Applejack said as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh joy!" Gary said with fake enthusiasm.

Applejack and Gary walked into the kitchen to see Granny Smith peeling an apple.

"Granny Smith, meet Gary." Applejack said loudly to get Granny Smith's attention.

"Ah, so this is th' young Gary ah've been hearin' so much about." Granny Smith said as she turned around, looking over the tail-less and mane-less stallion.

"It's nice to hear my reputation precedes me." Gary said.

"Pleasure t' meet ya, sonny." Granny Smith said, extending her hoof. "Get it? You're yellow an' ah called ya sonny, like the sun."

"It's rare that I find a shisno with an appreciation for the fine arts." Gary said sincerely, meeting Granny Smith's hoof shake. He then shook his head, quickly remembering what he was in the room with.

"Now, what bring ya in here?" Granny Smith asked, looking at Applejack. "Ah thought he was supposed to buck trees."

"That didn't work out." Gary said passively.

"Gary here is a lil' weak in the knees." Applejack smiled.

"Is that so?" Granny Smith asked, tossing a chef's hat at Gary. "Well ah'm down a cook, so saddle up, pardner."

"You don't really expect me to cook..." Gary muttered in disbelief.

"Gotta earn your keep somehow." Granny Smith shrugged.

"I've never cooked before." Gary said dismissively, tossing the hat on the ground.

"Better late then never, ah always say."

"But I'm not feeling well."

"Horseapples." Granny Smith said as she picked up the hat and tossed it back to Gary. "Enough with your silly excuses and get crackin'!"

"Where's Big Mac?" Applejack asked curiously.

"Oh, I don't think we need to know that." Gary said quickly.

"He came inside t' give me help, but went for a walk in just a few minutes." Granny Smith chuckled lightly. "As simple as he pretends t' be, he can be complicated when he wants to."

"Guess I'll have to sleep with my eyes open." Gary sighed.

"Don't worry about Big Mac." Applejack said quietly, looking back at the door. "Ah think ah'm gunna go find him. Ya'll right lookin' after Gary by yourself, Granny Smith?"

"Ah'm sure he can look after himself."

Applejack nodded and quickly left the farm house.

"So what do we do?" Gary asked hesitantly.

"Ya see that peeler?" Granny Smith asked, pointing to the table that had a peeler on it.

"Yes."

"Start peelin'."

"Oh, that seems easy." Gary sighed, trotting up the table.

"So, what part of Equestria are ya from?" Granny Smith asked.

"Uh, a different part?" Gary said questioningly as he grabbed the peeler with his teeth.

"Of course. In all my life ah've never seen a pony that talks like you. Are ya from Trottingham?"

"Nope." Gary muffled.

"Las Pegasus?"

"Er, no." Gary said slowly.

"Well then where are ya from?"

"Around."

"Around, huh?" Granny Smith asked with a laugh. "Does this around have any other name?"

"Yup, it's called Noshisnoville. Popultion: No shisnos."

"What's this shisno thing ya keep callin' us?" Granny Smith asked curiously.

"I don't feel like explaining it again. All you need to know is you are one and it's a bad thing." Gary said audaciously. "And why do you care?"

"Ah don't know. Ah think it has a nice ring to it." Granny Smith snorted. "Shisno."

Small Talk

"So are ya friends with Sarge?" Granny Smith asked idly as she continued her dish.

"I generally tend to not befriend shisnos." Gary said testily. "Especially one's who can't see life for what it is."

"Oh? And what is life then?" Granny Smith asked bemusedly.

"It's a stage where you get to see bad things happen to others, and where the best course of action is to laugh at those struck by misfortune."

"That's an odd way of lookin' at it." Gary Smith said curiously, before turning to him expectantly. "Ya'll done with that apple?"

"I think so." Gary muttered, holding up the roughly peeled apple.

"Not th' best ah've seen, but that's t' be expected." Granny Smith shrugged, grabbing the apple from Gary to begin dicing. "Mind doin' it on a few more?"

"Can't you find some other shisno to do this? I'm really more of the moral support type..."

"An' who should ah ask t' help?" Granny Smith asked jokingly, looking around the room. "Ah don't see anypony else here 'sides you."

"What about him?" Gary asked as Sarge came into the kitchen, giving Gary a wary look.

"Ya'll set up in your room now?" Granny Smith asked curiously.

"Just about." Sarge nodded, taking a seat at the table Gary was peeling at. "Give me the peeler."

"Now I sort of want to keep it." Gary said, bringing the peeler closer to him.

"I don't care. I don't feel safe with you cooking the stuff that I eat."

"Are you saying you don't trust me?" Gary asked with a smirk.

"No, I'm saying that I'll never trust you." Sarge grunted as he grabbed the peeler away from Gary. "I for one can't see you changing, and that Tex thing was just a one off."

"I think the important thing is that I'm trying." Gary sniffed.

"Sure you are." Sarge muttered as he sat at the table and grabbed an apple.

Gary watched with disinterest as Sarge slowly but surely setting to work on the apple, trying to peel off the entirety of the skin.

"Even I did it faster than that." Gary muttered.

"That's because I'm not just peeling an apple. I'm practicing keeping the skin in one piece."

"Practicing for what?"

"For the nuclear winter, where I will peel off Grif's skin and use it as a coat to keep me warm!"

"And you're fine with him talking this way about others?" Gary asked Granny Smith.

"Well, ah wouldn't say fine..." Granny Smith said truthfully. "But Sarge is someone my family can trust, and that says somethin' more than words ever will, even if they are a lil' on the violent side."

"You haven't heard violent until you've heard O'Malley." Sarge muttered. "Done."

Sarge threw the apple behind his head, and Granny Smith grabbed it out of the air without even looking.

"So what is goin' on anywho?" Granny Smith asked. "We rentin' out the barn t' a bunch of random stallions?"

"You don't seem to bothered that you're letting a bunch of strangers stay in your home." Gary noted. "Are you sure you're a shisno?"

"Ah don't see the problem since have more than enough food t' spare, it's just a matter of gettin' th' food." Granny Smith shrugged. "And with more workers, the faster we can get everythin' done. When Sarge came, we finally got a chance t' take breaks."

"And that was me going easy on you guys. If I went all out I could run this operation." Sarge laughed.

"Ah'm sure ya could." Granny Smith chuckled, rolling her eyes.

"Done." Sarge grunted, tossing another apple behind his head and into Granny Smith's hoof. "You don't think I could handle it?"

"Sure ya could, ya'll would just be asleep when you're doin' it, that's all."

"If I can run a troop, then I could run this place. It's basically the same principles. Go in, kick everything you come across, yell out some profanities masked as encouraging talk, then get others to do the work for you."

"Summed it up nicely." Granny Smith noted dryly.

"Thank you." Sarge smiled, peeling the apples faster.

"Maybe ah'll let ya try t' run th' farm for a week..."

"That seems like a stupid idea." Gary chortled. "This shisno is just as lazy as every other one."

"Shut it." Sarge said snappishly, before turning back to Granny Smith. "If you do, you'll beg me me to take over."

"Sure ah will." Granny Smith snorted, looking at all the apples she had cut. "That last one should do it."

"Alright." Sarge murmured, quickly finishing the apple.

"Now, ya don't wanna buck, and ya don't wanna peel." Granny Smith said, turning her attention to Gary. "Any ideas on what ya can do besides joke around?"

"Well, I can tell you about the great prophecy." Gary smiled widely.

"What in tarnation is the great prophecy?"

Gary and Sarge looked into the other room to see Applejack standing next to Big mac, whom's head was hanging lower than usual.

"A delightful tale, really." Gary said.

"Uh-huh. Well BM here has somethin; he wants t' say t' ya." Applejack said, patting Big Mac on the back. "Ain't that right big guy?"

"Sorry." Big Mac stated simply.

"For?" Applejack pushed.

"Tryin' t' hurt ya. It won't happen again."

"Well this is awkward." Gary coughed. "That reminds me of a knock knock jo-"

"Hey AJ, mind if I have a word with you?" Sarge interrupted, not wanting to hear another one of Gary's terrible jokes.

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Applejack said with the same mind set.

Sarge hopped off his chair and made his way past Big Mac to go talk with Applejack in private.

"You want to start?" Sarge asked.

"Already talked with Big Mac, so ya'll an go first."

"Alright. How do you really feel about these AI fellas staying in your barn?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how much do you trust them to keep to their word?"

"Not sure, really. Gary's not really violent, just has a few screws loose, so he ain't that bad." Applejack said slowly, smiling lightly. "But ah do kinda find it ironic how outta deceit, rage and creativity, deceit is th' one we seem t' be able t' trust th' most..."

"I wouldn't say trust." Sarge muttered.

"Poor choice of words. But ah just mean that Gary is just a lil' messed up. That O'Malley fella seems overly violent, so we'll have t' keep a super close eye on him. And that Sigma fella..." Applejack trailed off with a shudder. "That one gives me the heebie-jeebies. There is no way we can trust that one. Well, there's no real reason we should trust any of 'em, but those three and Epsilon-"

"Epsilon? You mean Blue?" Sarge interrupted.

"Yeah. Ah mean, ya heard Delta and Sigma, right? Talkin' about the Alpha, and how dangerous he is. He even went as far as t' yell at the Princess. Ah feel like if we do one wrong thing, he'll snap like a twig."

"And I wouldn't blame him." Sarge said honestly. "That boy has lots of reasons to be upset. I mean, for one he's a Blue. That's enough to get anybody angry, but he's had life shit on him for who knows how long. Going crazy would be a godsend for him at this point."

"Ah guess..." Applejack said slowly. "But ah still just feel like we can't trust him."

"Of course you can't trust him. You should barely be able to trust me. Just try to imagine if you were in his horseshoes." Sarge said sternly.

Applejack nodded thoughtfully, trying to put herself in Church's situation, but finding it difficult.

"In fact, it's sort of disappointing how fast you trusted me. What if an enemy gets hold of this information and uses it against us?" Sarge asked.

"Ah don't know, maybe the fact that ya risked your life a number of times." Applejack said jokingly, hitting Sarge in the shoulder.

"Fair enough." Sarge grunted. "Listen, I'm not saying you can trust him completely. Far from it. I'm just saying that you're mistrusting him for the wrong reasons. You need to find a real reason to mistrust someone."

"Like him bein' blue?"

"Exactly."

Yoking Around

"What do you think those shisnos are talking about out there?" Gary asked quietly, which Big mac replied to with a shrug. "You don't talk much, do you?"

"Eenope." Big Mac shook his head.

"Hm." Gary grunted, looking at Granny Smith, who was still slaving over the meal. "You there, why is this place so terrible?"

"It ain't that bad that ya haven't found your use." Granny Smith chuckled.

"That isn't what I meant." Gary muttered, when the door swung open and Applejack entered with Sarge, both of them smirking. "What are you two so happy about? They having a sale over at shisnomart?"

"Not quite." Applejack chuckled. "Now, we're gunna give ya two choices, and you can pick whichever one ya please."

"I choose neither."

"Unfortunately, that isn't a choice." Sarge muttered.

"Well if either of the choices involve you, then I'll say no to that one." Gary said with a mocking grin.

"Your choice." Sarge nodded as he turned to Applejack. "He's all yours."

"Wait, what?" Gary asked as Applejack walked behind him.

"C'mon. We're stoppin' by Ponyville." Applejack said, pushing Gary ahead of her.

"Why?"

"We need t' pick up some supplies."

"I don't want to." Gary huffed. "I'd rather stay here with someone who appreciates my genius."

"What genius?" Sarge asked, causing Gary to glare at him

"Are ya sayin' that because ya really don't want to, or because ya wanna annoy me?"

"Mostly the second part." Gary said with a nearly unnoticeable smirk.

"Forget him, you don't need him to go." Sarge said quietly, before turning to Gary with a small grin. "I have a few things I want him to try out to earn his spot here."

"I suddenly decided I want to come with you." Gary said quickly.

"Too late for that." Applejack snorted as she began leaving the house. "Don't run him into the ground, okay Sarge?"

"Do you really think I would I do that?" Sarge asked, pretending to be shocked as Applejack closed the door behind her. Sarge looked back to Gary, who was staring uneasily at the red stallion. "Now that she's gone."

"I miss her already..." Gary pouted with worry.

"Hey Big Mac, you in there?" Sarge asked loudly

"Eeyup." Big Mac replied, just loudly enough for them to hear.

"Mind coming in here? I might need your help with this one."

Big Mac walked in after a few seconds and stared in silence, inviting Sarge to tell him what to do.

"I need you to go get the wagon ready. We're going to see if he can pull it."

Big Mac nodded and started left the house and began making his way to the barn.

"This should be easy enough." Gary said quietly to himself.

"No using that taking control thing you do." Sarge said as he went out the door. "You're doing this the real way."

"You mean the shisno way." Gary grumbled, reluctantly trudging after Sarge. "If I can use it to be more effective, why shouldn't I use it?"

"Because it's funnier this way. Now stop delaying and get to it."

Gary muttered an insult quietly to himself, before following Sarge back to the barn, where Big Mac was already pulling out the wagon. Big Mac shrugged the wagon off with complete ease, then brought out a yoke from the back of it and placed it in front of Gary.

"You expect me to put it on?" Gary asked coldly.

"Ah just thought ya would've looked for anythin' t' make it easier." Big Mac said quietly, looking at Sarge, waiting for what to do next.

"Thanks." Sarge said with a nod. "You can stay if you want. Might need your help later."

Big Mac nodded and took his place next to Sarge.

"It's either you put it on or you do without it." Sarge said impatiently to Gary, who was disdainfully standing over the yoke."I'd personally want you to do it without the thing. Makes it easier on you, but I don't want to argue with Big Mac."

"Fine, I will agree to your terms." Gary grunted, squeezing into the yoke with ease. "I feel terrible using this thing already."

"Good." Sarge chuckled.

Big Mac walked up to the cart and lifted it with his neck, placing it onto Gary's yoke.

"Stop pampering him dammit!" Sarge said firmly.

"Er, I could use just a little more pampering." Gary said quietly.

"Go." Sarge said, hitting Gary lightly on the side, trying to spur him into moving.

"That wasn't very nice." Gary grumbled.

"It will get worse unless you stop being a lazy sack of shit. I doubt you'll even be able to do it." Sarge said with a rough chuckle. "Now go. Big Mac might not want to hurt you now, but that doesn't mean I won't."

"Such violence." Gary cooed. "You an O'Malley will get along just fine."

Sarge narrowed his eyes at Gary, causing him to quickly turn around and try to walk forward. Gary took one step. Then another. He looked back at the cart, then back ahead. He then started walking forward, pulling the cart with moderate difficulty. It was heavy, but not so heavy that he couldn't handle it. Knowing this, Gary began holding his head up high, happy to have proven the shisnos wrong.

"Look at him acting all high and mighty." Sarge muttered.

"As I should be!" Gary boomed. "I have beaten your challenge and have proved your better! Bow down to me now and I will make my tyranny light!"

"Load him up." Sarge smirked to Big Mac. "Preferably with something heavy."

"Load me up? What do you mean by that?" Gary asked, turning to Big Mac. "What did he mean by that?"

"He means ya'll are pullin' an empty cart." Big Mac said with a discreet smile as he walked into the barn.

"Oh." Gary said quietly. "I knew that."

"Sure you did." Sarge chuckled.

Big Mac soon emerged from the barn, pushing several large barrels towards Gary while balancing two long planks on his back.

"What's inside of them?" Gary asked.

"Some of 'em are apples, some are barrels of water." Big Mac grunted as he placed the two pieces of wood on the back of the cart, making a ramp.

"Oh." Gary sighed as Big Mac started pushing the barrels over the ramp and into the cart. "How many are you putting in?"

"All of them." Sarge laughed.

"You're a mean one." Gary frowned heavily.

"I try." Sarge nodded earnestly.

"That's all of 'em." Big Mac grunted as he put the final barrel in the wagon.

"Good job." Sarge commended him, before growing more serious. "Now go."

Gary hesitated, but began walking forward. After a few steps he got jerked back by the yoke, making him fall on his flank. Sarge began laughing as Gary embarrassingly got up and glared at him.

"Still feeling like hot shit?" Sarge asked.

"A little." Gary said, smiling as sweetly as he could muster.

"Well then go again." Sarge said, hitting Gary in the side, this time much harder.

Gary yelped and jumped forward, pulling it forward an inch, then falling back to the ground. Sarge began laughing again, this time Big Mac joined in with a small chuckle of his own.

"Stop that this instant!" Gary said snappishly.

"What? I wanted you to fail, you did. You want us to laugh at you, and we are. We're both getting what we wanted!" Sarge said thoughtfully, before rubbing his chin. "I guess Big Mac could give you a push."

"Can't we just do something else?"

"Let me think." Sarge muddled quietly. "Not until you either manage to push it, or fall down a few dozen more times."

"Ya'll ready?" Big Mac asked as he got to the back of the cart and balanced on his forelegs.

"You know, this reminds me of a-"

Gary was interrupted when Big Mac slammed his hind legs into the cart, propelling it forward at a fast speed. Gary quickly began running ahead of it, trying to avoid being run over lest the yoke come loose.

"I could use something to eat." Sarge said as Gary struggled to stay ahead of the cart. "I hate watching people in over their head on an empty stomach."

Big Mac nodded and lightly bucked the nearest tree in apple with it, causing a single one to fall down.

"Thanks." Sarge smiled, biting the apple in half. He swallowed, clearing his throat to yell. "Don't worry, we have more things for you to try after this!"

"Lovely!" Gary shouted sarcastically.

New Sheriff in Town

"I know what you're saying, you don't want to hurt somebody because how you've been brought up." Sarge said understandingly. "But remember, I wasn't brought up like you. I was taught to respect people, sure, but only to people who deserve it. Like you and your family. Gary is an AI. Not only is he not a person, but he sure as hell doesn't deserve any respect."

"Ah guess." Big Mac nodded.

"I'm not telling you this for you to side with me. I'm telling you this because I want to do it my way, and I want you to accept that."

"Ah do." Big Mac nodded again. "Which is why ah think ya'll should do the same when ah do things my way."

"Ya'll are yappin' like a bunch a fillies!" Granny Smith chuckled loudly, turning to them. "How 'bout this middle ground. Big Mac, don't help Gary. Sarge, don't hinder him."

Sarge and Big Mac shrugged at each other and nodded, when the door front door open and Applejack came in with some flour and other baking ingredients on her back.

"Ah, just in time!" Granny Smith smiled when Applejack walked next to Granny Smith, allowing her to take the ingredients off of Applejack's back.

"What are ya staring it?" Applejack asked, smile on her lips. "Jealous that ah managed to get here faster than you could've?"

"Wheres Gary?" Sarge asked, coming off rather harsh.

"What are ya talkin' about? Didja forget that he decided to stay and work with ya?" Applejack laughed, but face her face was serious. "Did you lock him in the barn and forget?"

"Eenope, he gave up after his third try to go help ya in Ponyville..." Big Mac said quietly, glancing uneasily at Sarge, awaiting an I told you so.

"God dammit." Sarge hissed instead, sprinting to the door.

Gary kept a steady pace as he walked through Ponyville with disgust, feeling ashamed to be walking amongst the filthy shisnos. He felt ripples of disappointment when he remembered his location, but at the same time felt conniving. Felt like himself. Some ponies walked near him since he looked lost, but whenever they did he walked faster than them, not wanting to interact, even if he didn't know where exactly his destination was. He did not want to accept help from any of them, lest he dirty himself. Soon, however, he found his destination. A tall building, sitting right in the middle of Ponyville.

"The hive mind of Shisnoville..." Gary muttered to himself as he looked at town hall. "I feel sick just being here."

Gary took a deep breath. He would need all his courage just to step through into where he felt most shisnos have been. At least at the farm they weren't running around everywhere like ants. Gary looked up and walked to the door, opening it with vigor, but not so much that anybody would believe he had anything bad planned. He peeked inside to see a tan pony, sitting at a desk. Her hair was in waves, giving her a less formal, but still respectable demeanor. Gary coughed lightly to inform her of hi location.

"Hello, may I help you?" Mayor Mare asked, giving Gary her formal smile.

"Just admiring the scenery." Gary said.

"There isn't much to see in here." Mayor Mare said politely, looking at Gary with interest. "I can't place your accent, where are you from?"

"Excuse me, I often lose my manners around shi- such delightful ponies." Gary finished off hesitantly, cringing on the inside as the he forced a heavy smile. "Believe me when I say you most probably would not have heard where I came from."

"I generally like to think that I'm well versed on locations in this world. You don't become mayor for nothing. Even if I have never heard of it, I would still like to know the name."

"Oh, well, er..." Gary trailed off edgily, knowing he needed to think of a legitimate sounding one. One that sounded as stupid as Ponyville. "Uh... Minneighsota."

"Ah, Minneighsotta!" Mayor Mare chuckled, extending her hoof again.

Gary shook her hoof, now convinced that the shisnos living here are unoriginal.

"I've never met a Minneighsotian, seeing as it's such a long ways from little old Ponyville." Mayor Mare said thoughtfully. "What brings you here? Business?"

"Of sorts." Gary said, carefully continuing his smile. "I moved here as of late, and I was just-"

"You're living here?" Mayor Mare asked with surprise. She walked up to a book on her desk and started flipping through it. "What's your name?"

"Neigh." Gary sputtered, knowing he would need a pony sounding name.

"Neigh?" Mayor Mare asked with an unsure glance.

"Yes, it's short for Neighoming."

"But that's a name of a state."

"My parents were never the brightest." Gary admitted, smartly showing his side to her. "Hence why I prefer to keep it short. My parents were also the reason I no longer have my mark. When I was young, I was in an accident involving them. Though that is actually why my voice is as charming as it is as well though, so it was not all bad."

"Alright, Neighoming from Minneighsota." Mayor nodded, writing a new entry. "I do not have you listed in here for some reason, so I will have to fix that. Do you live on your own?"

"No, I am currently residing with the Apple family. I actually came by yesterday."

"Ah, the Apples. Nice bunch of ponies. They really know how to work." Mayor Mare said respectfully. "Did Granny Smith tell you how she was here when Ponyville was first established?"

"No, she didn't." Gary said, slightly impressed, but acting way more impressed than he really was. "I will have to ask her about that when I get back."

"Is Sarge from Minneighsota too?" Mayor mare asked, looking at the list of residents of Sweet Apple Acres.

"Er, no. But we have known each other for a while." Gary said truthfully.

"Family?"

"No." Gary said hastily.

"I see. What was your past job in Minneighsota?"

"Oh, that. I was actually helping the mayor there." Gary said, putting his smiling into overdrive. Now was where his plan shifted into second gear. "Which is actually what I came here to talk to you about. I was wondering if you had any openings for assistants?"

"I like to think that I could handle this by myself..." Mayor Mare said dubiously. "What is your experience?"

"Well, I helped for roughly twenty-five years. I was going to run for mayor, but decided to live less loud of a life. But the politics still run thick in my blood, so I figured being an assistant in such a nice place as this would be lovely."

"Twenty-five? How old are you?"

"I am forty years old." Gary said slowly, feeling his cover may have been blown.

"You look younger." Mayor Mare said sincerely. "When you walked in I thought you were in your early twenties."

"Right back at you." Gary said with a tactical wink.

Mayor Mare was taken aback. She was always treated with respect, but she never particularily felt she would be treated like that.

"Even though I do feel I could handle this on my own, having such an experienced pony by my side is too tempting to ignore." Mayor Mare said with a flushed nod. "Welcome aboard."

"When can I start?" Gary asked, feeling confidence overwhelm him.

"Today is already over. Is tomorrow too early?"

"No, I could do tomorrow." Gary said, smiling pleasantly, turning to leave.

"Great. We will talk about your times and your pay then." Mayor Mare said, walking to the door with him, both out of her politeness and out of slight fondness.

"Sounds delightful. I am sure the Apples will be most pleased with this news. They aren't making as much money as they should be." Gary said, trying to act appreciative, as if her accepting his offer was more for them than it was for him.

"That they aren't." Mayor Mare agreed. "They are hard workers, and are some of the most respectable ponies I know."

"Indeed." Gary said slowly as he walked out the door, not liking being so close and friendly with the shisnos. But it was necessary. "See you tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Mayor Mare said, shaking his hoof one more time.

Mayor Mare watched as Gary walked away happily. Mayor Mare thought it was because he was happy to have been a part of the community now, when he was really happy only because his plan was now set in motion.

Stupid shisnos.

Coming Into Fruition

Sarge ran though Ponyville, looking intently for the stray fragment. He stopped by every pony he passed and asked them if they had seen a bald, yellow stallion. Almost everyone told him they saw one matching his description, and that he seemed keen on not talking to them. Each one also pointed him in the right direction, bringing him closer and close to his target.

"This isn't good." Sarge muttered, when the last pony he talked to said he was heading towards town square.

Sarge galloped over the bridge and saw Gary coming out of the town hall, smiling to himself. Sarge lowered his head and put all he could into his legs. He bucked off the ground, propelling him forward where he tackled Gary to the ground, pinning him.

"Do you mind?" Gary choked. "I need my throat to breath now. And you are causing a scene."

"What are you doing here?" Sarge asked quickly, easing up on his hold of Gary, but keeping enough energy to hold him down.

"I visited the Mayor." Gary smiled. "Delightful stupid shisno. Have you met her?"

"Not personally." Sarge muttered. "Did you do anything to her?"

"Yes." Gary admitted, but spoke up again before Sarge went further. "But not in the way you think.

"Why come out here to meet her then?"

"Don't you already know the answer to that?"

Sarge applied a tiny bit more pressure onto Gary's throat, glancing around to see if any ponies were watching them.

"Well, you raised an interesting point when you brought up politics. And since you witnessed first hand that I wasn't a farmer, I figured if I have to stay in this shisno ridden wold, I might as well do something beneficial to me." Gary sniffed, flicking away Sarge's hoof before pushing Sarge off of him. "You should feel honored that I considered your advice."

"What happened?" Sarge asked. "What did you tell her?"

"Clueless, clueless shisnos. It is always questions with you. How do you survive knowing so little?" Gary asked, smiling at Sarge's growing impatience. "If you must know, I asked to be her assistant. She hired me on the spot when I offered my assistance, realizing how effective I could be. I start tomorrow, so I would appreciate it if you didn't rough me up. I want to look my best on my first day. And as for what I told her, I simply stated my name was Neighoming from Minneighsota, so you do not have to worry. Would you believe that I made Minneighsota up on the spot, just to find out it is a real place?"

"Named yourself after that shithead freelancer, huh?" Sarge chuckled, making Gary stiffen. "Reminds me of that time Tucker stabbed him. Oh, and how we ran a bunch of them over. And gunned them down. Also when Tex executed the last one. Even when there were hundreds of them we managed to kick all their asses. So much for being a super trained freelancer."

"Do not talk about him in that way. He was the only human worthy of my respect." Gary hissed.

"Sure he was." Sarge muttered.

"Just bring me to the barn so I don't have to look at you..."

"Sound good to me." Sarge grunted, reluctantly walking with Gary towards Sweet Apple Acres. "Listen, I know you're planning something, and I know you won't tell me what it is, but I will find out."

"I assure you that I have no plans to do anything malicious. AI politics are different than shisno politics."

"I don't buy that for a second."

"Fortunately for you, I don't care." Gary sighed happily.

Sarge followed Gary, making sure Gary didn't stray from the path. Ten minutes later, they reached Sweet Apple Acres, and Sarge began leading Gary to the barn. Sarge stopped when he noticed Gary deviating off the path.

"I just remembered I need to speak with Granny Smith." Gary said before Sarge could ask where he was going, walking towards the farm house.

"Why?" Sarge asked slowly. "I thought you wanted to go to the barn and be out of my sight."

"I didn't want to be out of your sight, I wanted you to be out of mine. There is a difference." Gary corrected him. "But the Mayor suggested I talk to her about how Ponyville came to be."

"I thought you were getting into politics, not history..."

"You have to know history if you wish to make it." Gary quipped. "Which reminds me of a delightful little joke..."

"Go talk to Granny Smith." Sarge said quickly, not intending to hear any more of Gary's jokes.

"Don't you want to-"

"Go!" Sarge commanded.

"Touchy." Gary huffed.

Gary opened the door to the farm house and ran into something red, causing him to fall to the floor.

"I'm beginning to see a pattern here with the color red and I..." Gary muttered, rubbing his head, before looking up to see Big Mac.

"Gary." Big Mac murmured under his breath, holding out a hoof to help Gary up.

"Shisno." Gary replied in the same tone, not taking his hoof.

"Causin' trouble?"

"Eenope." Gary said, mimicking Big Mac's voice as he clambered off the floor.

"Good." Big Mac nodded. "Sarge outside?"

"Eeyup." Gary said, mimicking him again.

Big Mac shook his head and walked outside. Gary trotted into the kitchen, where he took a seat net to the doorway, staring silently at Granny Smith who was almost finished with her creation.

"Well, what do ya think?" Granny Smith asked.

"Smells... good." Gary said, forcing a compliment.

"Thank ya Gary. Apple family recipes always smell good and taste better. " Granny Smith chuckled. "So where did ya run off to? Sarge was worried."

"I visited the Mayor today, and-"

"Mayor Mare?" Granny Smith asked with a nod. 'How's she doin'?"

"Er, fine. I was just wondering, how does one become a Mayor around here?"

"Interested in bein' one?"

"No, this is purely for research. She hired me to be her assistant, so I felt I should come to one of the wisest shisnos to see how things really work around here. And since you know about humor, I instantly place you as one of the wisest shisnos around."

"Gary, are ya tryin' t' seduce me?" Granny Smith asked with a wink.

"What?" Gary said, almost throwing up in his mouth. "No! I wasn't, I mean sure, you have more of a sense of humor than most shisnos, but that's as far as-"

"Should see the look on your face." Granny Smith interrupted with a soft chuckle. "Priceless."

Gary shuddered off the disgust, then feigned a smile. Though he appreciates a joke, he does not typically like to be the butt of said jokes.

"Ah'm almost done cookin', so take a seat and ah'll tell ya what ah can before it's done."

Gary promptly sat at the table, nodding at Granny Smith to continue.

"Funny story about the Ponyville politics, ah was almost voted into bein' the Mayor when we established this fine settlement. Ah never was one for all that thinkin' stuff though, but ah decided to stay here an' work hard for my keep."

"Interesting." Gary said quietly. "Now what about being Mayor?"

"I was gettin' t' that." Granny Smith said, sipping out of her ladle. "Almost done. Anyways, even though we're mainly governed by th' Princesses, th' Mayor main job is t' keep the town in shape. Not a whole lot happens t' need any community votes, so-"

"As intrigued as I am by this information, may you just tell me how you become Mayor?" Gary asked impatiently, then realized that was not the best way to go about getting information. He had to play it like he wanted to know it all, just not all at once. "We can discuss what the Mayor does after dinner, I just want to know how one becomes Mayor for now."

"Ah, well there is no set date for votin'." Granny Smith shrugged. "We decided that votin' would happen if the town decides that the Mayor is no longer right for the role."

"What do you mean no longer right for the role?"

"Like if she uses th' towns income for personal use, or if she starts tryin' t' pass ludicrous laws."

"So if she does a series of bad things..." Gary said carefully. "What happens next?"

"Most of th' time we vote for a new Mayor, but the chances of Mayor Mare doin' anythin' bad are slimmer than a sheet of paper." Granny Smith said, before ringing a bell that was next to the stove. "Soups on!"

"Yes." Gary said with a wicked grin when Granny Smith turned to take the dish off the stove. "It is indeed on."

Surprise Guest

Gary awoke the next morning, mind already churning about the future. He had taken an early night, mostly due to the fact that he needed to be at one hundred percent, but partly because he wanted to leave before the others woke up. He rolled off his pile of hay and trotted out the door of the barn, grinning coyly to himself. As he reached the gate of the farm, he heard a bark come from his left.

"Darn it." Gary muttered, looking at the source of the bark, where he could see Big Mac sitting with his back against the tree.

"Have ya had somethin' t' eat yet?" Big Mac asked quietly, chewing on a strand of hay as he patted Winona on the head.

"I think I'll skip on breakfast today." Gary shook his head. "I have some research to do."

"Not anythin' bad ah hope." Applejack said.

"Oh ye of little faith." Gary tutted. "I realized last night I can't live in this world on my own old terms, so I have to make due with some new ones. Sarge said something surprisingly smart for a shisno, so I considered it and decided it was the best course of action."

"Then what research are ya doin'?"

"Oh, you know, the laws. Need to make sure I don't break any, even if shisno laws are stupid." Gary said, trotting out the gate, towards Ponyville, leaving no room for questions.

Ten minutes later, Gary walked through Ponyville, again avoiding each pony he came cross, and arrived at Town Hall, where he knocked politely on the door. Mayor Mare came to the door and slowly opened it.

"Good morning."

"Neighoming, good morning. You're here early." Mayor Mare said, stepping to the side.

"So are you." Gary smiled as he walked inside the office, where there was already a second desk set up. "That was fast."

"Time and efficiency are important for our jobs." Mayor Mare noted, walking Gary to his desk. "You have everything you need here."

"Fantastic." Gary said, forcing sincerity. "Does it have a book of all the laws in Ponyville?"

"Yes, first drawer left hoof side. In it you should also find an agenda, your name plate, a few quills and a few different colors of ink."

"Great." Gary said as he began filing through the drawer, looking for the book.

It only took him a couple seconds to find the book, which he took out of the desk and stared at with a dark grin.

"Oh, you might also need this." Mayor Mare said, dropping a small parchment of paper on his desk, making Gary nearly jump up.

"What is this?" Gary asked hesitantly.

Gary reached for the paper and snatched it up, before reading the top. The Ponyvillian pledge.

"In technical terms, you do not have the job yet." Mayor Mare said slowly. "First, you have to stand in front of the town and recite that pledge. You have a day to memorize it, and I have utmost confidence in you. After all, you have done this in Minneighsota, correct?"

"Of course." Gary said quietly, beginning to doubt his plans. "It has just been a long time since I stood in front of hundreds of shis- I mean ponies."

"I'm sure you'll do fine." Mayor Mare nodded, making her way to her desk. "If you need anything, I will be more than happy to help you."

"Thanks." Gary mumbled, no intent on asking a shisno for help unless he needed help with being lazy. Gary chuckled at this thought.

"Is something wrong?" Mayor Mare asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just remembered something, that's all."

"Remembered what?"

"Just an inside joke." Gary said as he grabbed the pledge, knowing his current plans would have to wait. "So do the citizens already know about me then?"

"Some do. Even though our population is large, word spreads quickly. I also wrote a note explaining it on the Ponyville bulletin board, as well as first page news in the Ponyville Express, so the entire town will be informed tomorrow morning."

"Will they all show up?" Gary asked, holding back a shudder.

"Not all of them. It is in no way mandatory, but we are a friendly bunch and love making ponies feel welcome, so most will probably show up."

Ugh, disgusting. Gary though to himself. At least they won't all be there.

"Speaking of ponies that like making others feel welcome, I should probably warn you about one of our residents." Mayor Mare coughed. "She, uh... really likes meeting new ponies."

"That's... nice..." Gary twitched.

"No need to be nervous." Mayor Mare said quickly, seeing how uncomfortable he was. "She is really nice, just a little on the eccentric side. And she has a nice friend. Maybe not all there, but he's nice. They shouldn't be so much trouble to you, seeing as you've been in this sort of situation before."

"Yes, I have." Gary forced out a laugh. "This is great news... I like meeting new ponies as well. What is their-"

Suddenly, confetti shot out from under Gary's desk, and something tackled him to the ground.

"What is happening?" Gary yelped in fear as his attacker tumbled along the ground with him.

"Weee!" An all too familiar voice exclaimed.

"Oh no..." Gary groaned as he angled his head to see Caboose gripping onto him for dear life.

"That was fun!" Caboose laughed as the tumbling came to a stop.

"Hardly." Gary muttered, scrambling to get off the ground and away from Caboose.

As he started backing away from the blue menace, he bumped into something and fell to the ground.

"Sorry about that! I should have really watched where you were going!" Pinkie chuckled with closed eyes, reaching down to the annoyed Gary.

Gary got off the ground without grabbing her hoof and turned away, when he heard a gasp. Gary turned around to see Pinkie staring at him with wide eyes.

"You're the Mayor's assistant?" Pinkie asked.

"You know each other?" Mayor Mare asked with surprise.

"Yeah, we met each other how long ago? A few weeks? Maybe two?"

"Two weeks? Neighoming came here just a few nights ago, correct?"

"Neighoming?" Pinkie asked with a wild giggle. "He isn't Neighoming, his name is Gary, and he-"

"In the name of all that is non shisno, shut you mouth!" Gary hissed quietly, stuffing his right fore hoof into Pinkie's mouth.

"Are we playing a game?" Caboose asked. "I love-"

Gary extended his left hind hoof into Caboose's mouth, makin it hard to balance with his last two hooves.

"What's going on?" Mayor Mare asked slowly.

"Are we playing twister?" Gary heard Caboose muffle into his hoof.

"Both of you, please be quiet while I explain to the Mayor what is happening." Gary muttered, forcing out his plead. "Think of it as a game."

Pinkie and Caboose shook their heads, thinking Gary was playing a game, so he placed his hooves back on the ground.

"What did she mean by Gary?" Mayor Mare asked. "I could understand if she had mistake you for somepony else, but you aren't exactly like every other pony."

"You are aware of how I am staying with the Apples?" Gary asked.

"Yes." Mayor Mare confirmed.

"Well, I visited them a few weeks ago to see if they had any room for me. Naturally I didn't want to be here with nowhere to stay. When I got there, this pink pony as well as a bunch of others were there. And as you know, I don't really like my name, so I told them to call me Gary. That's what I tell most new shis- ponies, but I wanted to be formal with you." Gary said, smiling at himself, turning to the pair. "Now if you two will excuse me, I have a pledge to memorize."

"I'll be there for that!" Caboose said with surprise.

"And then I can throw you a really big party, and I'll invite the whole town!" Pinkie added.

"Yes, yes, you do that." Gary said, wanting to shoo away the pests. "Please, I only have one day, so I want to make the best of it."

"Alrighy." Pinkie said, opening the window and placing the cannon net to it. "Anything else you need?"

"Hardly." Gary murmured.

"Okay then. Caboose, get in!" Pinkie said loudly.

"Okay!" Caboose said, jumping into the cannon.

"Can't wait for your speech tomorrow, Gary!" Pinkie said, climbing into the cannon, before slamming her hoof on the back of it, propelling them out the window.

"You handled that well." Mayor Mare noted.

"Thank you." Gary said as he grabbed the pledge and began reading it to himself, cringing at each line.

Dangerous Thinking

This thing is full of nothing but praise for the town. Gary thought to himself after reading the pledge for the fifth time.

It's not that he couldn't memorize it. Far from it. If it was something else he could have it memorized in a matter of minutes. It was the fact that he was so disgusted with how bad the pledge was he couldn't bring himself to memorize it, lest he poison his mind. He groaned and began rubbing his eyes, feeling as if they were open for hours.

"Unbelievable." Mayor Mare said quietly, looking at Gary intently.

"What?" Gary asked.

"How much have you memorized?" Mayor Mare asked in return.

"Almost all of it." Gary lied. He sighed and looked out the window at the setting sun. "It's the evening already?"

"Yes, and might I say that your concentration is remarkable." Mayor Mare commented. "It's a very admirable quality."

"Yes, well, you must concentrate if you have a quick wit. And this pledge is so... pledgy." Gary said, finishing his sentence with a heavy breath through his nostrils, unable to bring himself to compliment it.

"How are you not hungry?" Mayor Mare asked.

"I just don't eat much." Gary mumbled. "Knock knock."

"Hm?"

"Knock knock." Gary repeated, smiling at her, only to make her cooperate.

"Who's there?" Mayor Mare asked hesitantly.

"Eddy."

"Eddy who?"

"Eddy chance you can tell me when I can go home?"

"Well, you aren't really working here yet, so you could leave now." Mayor Mare smiled. "Right now this is more community service, if anything."

"Great." Gary nodded as he got up from his desk. Even though he was reluctant to go back to the Apples, he wanted a chance to walk just to shake off the disturbed feeling he got from reading the paper.

"Make sure you don't forget to bring it with you." Mayor Mare said, referring to the pledge. "And have some food when you get back. I don't want my assistant to starve before he becomes my assistant."

Gary nodded and reached for the pledge, but stopped when he saw the book of laws. He wrestled with the thought of taking it home. It was essential to his plan. He quickly remembered that knowing the laws would be useless if he doesn't get hired, so he looked at the book of laws one last time, before putting it in the drawer and closing it with a sigh.

"The pledge recital is at noon, just in front of this building." Mayor Mare said, returning attention to her own affairs.

"Good to know." Gary said, before trotting up and opening the door.

"Say hello to Granny Smith for me."

"Will do." Gary muttered as he rolled up the parchment with his hoof, then placed the roll of paper in his teeth to hold it, and left.

Gary trotted through town, for once undisturbed due to most ponies being in their homes. He found the walk oddly relaxing, so he slowed his pace from a brisk trot, to a slow walk, where he constantly took breaks. The fresh air quickly washed away the sick feeling he had, and he didn't want to spoil the moment by interacting with any of the Apples earlier then he had to. He arrived at Sweet Apple Acres half an hour later and stood at the gateway for a few moments, collecting his thoughts.

"You're back early." Sarge said, seemingly coming out of nowhere. "Did the Mayor fire you?"

"No, she didn't." Gary said condescendingly through the roll of paper in his mouth. Though his voice was monotone, others were able to pick up on his emotions remarkably well.

"Not yet at least." Sarge chuckled, eyes lingering to his mouth. "What's with that piece of paper?"

"This?" Gary asked, spitting out the parchment into his hoof. "This isn't just a piece of paper, this is the Ponyvillian Pledge."

"Uh-huh." Sarge muttered. "I expected you to bring a law book to study."

Though Gary remained indifferent in appearance, his brain started ticking over with worry. As much as Gary hated to admit it, this one was smarter than he let on. He would have to be careful around the red menace.

"Well, I'm taking my job seriously, thank you very much." Gary huffed, quickly trotting toward the farm house. "Now if you don't mind I have some memorizing to do."

Sarge watched Gary disappear into the Apple family home in silence, wondering how sincere Gary was being. Inside the home, Gary threw the rolled up sheet onto the kitchen table and took a seat to read it.

"Ah, just in time for lunch!" Granny Smith chuckled, walking through one door into the kitchen, and out the one Gary had entered. "Give me a moment t' call Sarge back in."

"Take all the time you need." Gary mumbled as he thought of leaving to a more secluded area, but his stomach growled and he remembered Mayor Mare telling him to eat. As much as he hated it, he needed some of the baser requirements, just like most shisnos.

"How's it goin' Gary?" Applebloom asked, hopping up onto a chair.

"Fine." Gary grunted. Though he only interacted once with the little Apple, he was just as wary of her as he was the others.

"Wacha readin'?" Applebloom asked, snatching the paper out of his hooves.

"Give that back." Gary grunted, reaching for the parchment.

"The Ponyvillian Pledge?" Applebloom echoed, before smiling widely. "Hey, we should make a pledge for the Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

"Yes, you do that, now give it back!" Gary commanded.

"Awful lotta big words in here." Applebloom chuckled. "Shame Sweetie Belle ain't here!"

"Fascinating story. I would love to hear more once I have that back."

Applebloom began reading the pledge aloud, much to Gary's annoyance.

"What's goin' on in here?" Applejack asked, walking into the kitchen with Big Mac.

"Gary brought in this funny piece of paper, an' ah was just readin' it." Applebloom said, before looking back down to read.

"Applebloom, don't annoy Gary. Give that back t' him."

"But Sarge said-"

"Ah know, Sarge is a great fella, but in terms of how t' treat others ah wouldn't count on him for sound advice." Applejack chuckled.

"My advice is the best advice you all will hear." Sarge corrected her jokingly, walking into the kitchen with Granny Smith.

"Everyshisno is here? Fantastic, may I have the pledge back?" Gary asked, forcing out the politeness.

Applebloom looked to Sarge, and he nodded at her. Applebloom smiled and nodded and gave the script back. Gary snatched it quickly, just in case she tried to pull it away, and then gave Sarge an annoyed look.

"Now what do ya say?" Applejack asked.

"Sorry." Applebloom rolled her eyes.

"Applebloom." Applejack said slowly. "Ya know that ain't how the Apples treat others."

"Sorry for takin' your piece of paper." Applebloom mumbled.

"That's better." Applejack nodded, taking a seat at the table. "So th' pledge, huh?"

"Yes, any other questions?" Gary asked.

"Didn't mean t' be a bother." Applejack sighed as the others took a seat at the table.

At least she's trying. Gary thought to himself, then scowled. Can't think like that. She is a shisno, and a dangerous one at that.

"How much have you gotten down into your head?" Sarge asked roughly.

"Not much." Gary replied truthfully. He figured he would have to tell as much truth to Sarge as he could spare to get him off his back. "It is nothing but talking about how great this town is, and I find it difficult to remember something that I don't believe in. It's torturous just reading the thing."

"Really?" Sarge asked, feeling Gary was being mildly truthful. "Then by all means, carry on."

"You really are an example for the young ones. They should call you Saint Shisno." Gary sniffed.

"Maybe, it has a nice ring to it." Sarge said to annoy Gary. "Maybe the title should be Saint Shisno, Shithead Gary's better.'

"How pleasant. That reminds me of a joke. What's big, red and has a brain smaller than a walnut?" Gary asked icily.

"Enough yappin', it's time to eat!" Granny Smith exclaimed, giving plates of apple cobbler to everybody.

Gary stared at the food, then to Sarge, and then to the pledge. He then decided he had not enjoyed this day thus far.

Difficulties

Gary awoke the next morning, feeling heavy in his stomach. He groaned as he rolled off the pile of hay, thinking he must have caught something from sleeping in the dirt as a shisno would. He got off the floor, knees wobbly, then collapsed back onto the pile of hay. Gary looked around the barn, making sure none of the shisnos were around to see him. He jumped to his feet, and stood in a more grounded position. Once the weak feelings in his knees passed, he slowly made his way to the barn door. He pushed it open, and nearly fell over due to it swinging open with ease, but he caught himself before he fell.

"What is going on?" Gary asked loudly, for once hoping something was nearby that could help him figure out what was wrong. "No? I guess I am on my own. Good."

Gary looked at the farm house, realizing he would not be able to make it to town hall in his condition, he hopped to seek the aid of the old shisno. He got inside and looked at the rocking chair, where Granny Smith was usually stationed, then went to the kitchen. This time, he saw Granny Smith sitting at the table, knitting.

"Something is wrong. I think Sarge poisoned me to make sure I can't do the pledge." Gary groaned, taking a seat at the table to place hi hooves over his head, then added under his breath. "Though that seems a bit too merciful for him."

"Ah think ya might be a little nervous!" Granny Smith cackled as she got off her chair and made her way to the line of cupboards.

"I don't feel silly little things like nerves." Gary sniffed condescendingly. "It must be something else. I must have gotten a virus."

"Only virus ah can see is yellow-belly virus." Granny Smith said, reaching into one of the cupboards next to the stove. "Luckily ah got just th' thing."

"Gary is not weak like shisno, he does not need antibiotics."

"Antibiwachamacallit?" Granny Smith echoed, placing her hoof over her ear. "Ah was just grabbin' ya some concentrated cider. Should perk you right up!"

"Concentrated cider?" Gary asked quietly as Granny Smith took out a small, locked tankard from the cupboard.

"Drink up." Granny Smith said, unlocking the tankard and placing it next to Gary.

Gary grabbed the tanker and sniffed it. Instantly his eyes began to water and he gagged at the empowering aroma.

"Yeah, that'll happen t' ya." Granny Smith nodded. "Just have a sip and ah guarantee y'll will be hoppin' around the barn in no time."

"Very well." Gary huffed, taking this as a challenge. He grabbed the tankard and took single chug of it.

Instant burning sensation. Gary spat up the liquid and began running around the kitchen, looking for any container of water, but found none. He then rushed to the sink and turned it on, before promptly sticking his mouth on the faucet, not daring to let a drop go into the actual sink. Gary slipped the water off after a few moments to catch his breath. He was panting heavily. His eye were watering. He was upset. He turned to talk to Granny Smith but she had disappeared. He stomped out into the hallway to see Granny Smith rocking on her rocking chair, smiling smugly as she continued knitting.

"You knew that would happen, didn't you?" Gary hissed in anger, not liking having been tricked.

"Don't worry, it happens t' th' best of us." Granny Smith assured him. "Took me years before ah could even drink it."

"Well, I don't-"

"How ya feelin', by the way?" Granny Smith interrupted him.

"I'm... feeling better... actually." Gary said reluctantly, leaving the house to get to Town Square on time. "Just don't do it again."

"No promises."

Gary quickly trotted towards Town Hall, taking the occasional break to dry heave. Eventually he reached Town Square, where he saw a large stage set up, and where Mayor Mare had already started. He stopped a few dozen paces away from the stage and began composing himself.

"...and now, to recite the Ponyvilllian pledge, Neighoming!" Mayor Mare said, finishing her speech a few minutes later. As she did, the air was rich with the sound of cheering and stomping hooves

Gary smiled, thinking about how these shisnos would be wrapped around his hoof, when a blue horse came out of the crowd to see him.

"What the hell are you doing?" Church hissed, walking next to Gary as he approached the podium. "Is this what you call a low profile?"

"Relax, she doesn't know my real name." Gary chuckled, then paused as he thought for a moment. "Well, she does know my name, but I'm going by the name of Neighoming."

"It doesn't matter if she knows your real name or not." Church grunted loudly, walking faster than Gary to cut him off. "What if Celestia has to show up to meet the Mayors assistant?"

"Yeah, like the a Princess is going to visit just for an assistant." Gary snorted, resuming his trek towards the podium. "Come on!"

"Okay, maybe not then, but what if she come to see the Mayor about something?"

"Then she'll introduce me a Neighoming from Minneighsota." Gary giggled impishly, before putting on a serious face to go on stage. "Now out of my way, as terrible as it is, I have a pledge to recite."

"Fuck." Church growled as Gary climbed up onto the stage, knowing it would cause suspicion if he went up there with him.

Once Gary was on the stage, he trotted to Mayor Mare, who was till standing next to the microphone stand.

"Are you ready?" Mayor Mare asked, away from the microphone.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Gary snorted, then turned to the audience and blanched.

"Neighoming?" Mayor mare asked, noticing something was off.

That's a lot of shisnos. Gary gulped. He quickly shook his head and cleared his throat. A lot, a lot of shisnos.

"Excuse him, he hasn't done this in a while and he has only had a day to prepare, so please bear with us." Mayor mare said into the microphone.

Need to calm down. Nothing would be more embarrassing than looking stupider than a bunch of shisnos. I know, just think of them in their underwear. Gary smiled when he started imagining this, but quickly cringed when he looked at the crowd. Now that just looks strange...

"You did, memorize it, didn't you?" Mayor Mare asked slowly.

"Yes, yes I did." Gary muttered, sorting through his mind to make sure he had everything right. "There are just so many of them."

"Relax, they will not bite you." Mayor Mare said into the microphone, making the ponies in the crowd cheer.

"Say, do you mind if I open with a joke?" Gary asked quickly, smiling brazenly.

"I suppose it isn't out of the question." Mayor Mare nodded, stepping to the back of the stage. "I will allow it."

"Thank you." Gary nodded. He turned to the microphone and gave it a tap, making a thud sound echo through Ponyville. "Morning to you all. Knock knock!"

"Oh dear lord." Church cried, grabbing onto his face with his hoof.

"What is it Church?" Twilight asked, stepping next to him.

"He's going to tell a joke." Church groaned in disbelief.

"Knock knock." Gary said again, smile never fading. "Mayor Mare, it appears you were correct. These folks ain't biting."

This caused a few of the ponies in the audience to laugh.

"Knock knock." Gary said once more.

"Who is there?" Caboose yelled from the audience.

"Ima."

"Ima who?" Pinkie piped, jumping onto Caboose's back.

"Ima psychiatrist. I'm here 'cause you won't open up!" Gary said, making a few more of the ponies laugh. Though not all of them laughed, it at least made him able to concentrate. "Now that that's out of the way, I suppose I should say the pledge so we can all go about our day, hm? Let's see here..."

"Please don't fuck up. Please don't fuck up. Please don't fuck up." Church said nervously, heart rate beginning to speed up.

"I, Neighoming of Ponyville, pledge allegiance to Ponyville. One town, which stands brightly by itself, for it's bountiful crops, and it's... pleasant... residents..." Gary said, beginning to slow down, feeling as if he was going to throw up. He looked back at Mayor Mare, and she gave him a nod of approval. "I pledge allegiance to the Princesses-" Gary choked on his tongue. "-and to the Republic for which they rule. Forever indivisible, with love and- ugh- tolerance for each race, be they earth pony, pegasi, or unicorn. All are equal in the eyes of our rulers, as well as myself-"

"I almost feel bad for him up there." Simmons said quietly, noting how badly Gary was struggling.

"I kinda do feel bad for him." Sarge muttered.

"Are ya just sayin' that?" Applejack asked curiously.

"Yeah, just look at him. he looks like he should be dead twenty times over. I wouldn't make anybody do anything in his condition."

"Even me?" Grif asked.

"Good point." Sarge nodded dutifully. "Anybody except Grif."

"At least I tried." Grif shrugged, turning back to Gary to listen to the rest of the speech, chuckling every time Gary paused to weep quietly to himself.

Acceptance

Gary finished his speech ten minutes later, and by the end his face was turning green from nausea. As soon as he uttered the last phrase, he shuddered with relief then began to trudge off stage, feeling as if he had lost the last shred of dignity he had left.

"Ya did good up there, Gary." Applejack said as he approached him with the others, walking next to him as he reached the bottom. "But you're not-"

"Just... please, is there a hole I can crawl into anywhere nearby?" Gary asked with a yawn. "Particularly a place I can wait out the rest of my existence."

"It wasn't that bad." Twilight noted brightly.

"Oh, no, it was. It really was." Gary disagreed, walking towards the farm.

"Neighoming, where are you going?" Mayor Mare asked from the stage. "You still have to answer the crowds questions."

"But I'm just an assistant, what questions do I have to answer?" Gary asked abysmally, wanting nothing more than to leave.

"Just the formalities." Mayor Mare assured him. "I know you're not feeling well, and this probably won't make it better, but it's just something that needs to be done."

Gary's lip twitched and he turned to walk away, but Church stopped him.

"Get out of my way please." Gary mumbled.

"No." Church shook his head. "You're going to go up there and tell them everything they want to know."

"I thought you were opposed to me doing this." Gary said, eyeing church contemptibly.

"I am, but you're already in too deep. If you leave now you'll do nothing but bring attention to yourself."

"You're not the boss of me." Gary growled, then stared at the ground. He is correct, in a way. I came too far to back out now. With a deep breath, he turned towards the stage. "Very well. I will answer their questions, then I shall give up."

Mayor Mare smiled at him once he came back on stage, happy that he had not left. Reluctantly, Gary looked back out at the crowd, and then to the microphone. Even more reluctantly, he walked up to the microphone and cleared his throat to answer questions.

"Neighoming, who do you believe is the best Princess?" A pony from the audience asked.

"Er, excuse me?" Gary said, tapping into the mic.

"Who is your favorite Princess?" The pony asked again.

"Is that a serious question?" Gary inquired, wondering how this was relevant.

"He doesn't like the Princesses!" The pony yelled.

"No, no, no! That isn't what I meant." Gary said when the crowd gasped. "I simply meant how can I choose between two wonderful rulers?"

The ponies in the crowd cheered, while Gary stood with a face of astonishment at just how easy they were to please. After half a minute, the stomping ceased, leaving the air open for more questions.

"How long do you intend to help Mayor Mare?" Church asked icily, taking a step out of the crowd.

"As long as I can." Gary smirked at him. "As long as she feels the need to have me around, I will continue to work my hardest. Something most others should learn to do."

"What are your plans?" Sarge asked loudly, stepping next to Church.

"I intend to help Mayor Mare, of course. Didn't you hear my last answer?"

"Not those plans, I mean-" Sarge began.

"Where are the Lucky Charms?" Caboose interrupted with a yell, jumping to the other side of Church.

"Er, I don't know." Gary mumbled honestly.

"Aw, shucks." Caboose said sadly, kicking a pebble.

"Now are there any more questions? Preferably none that are unnecessary?"

"What's your favorite color?" Caboose asked.

Gary let out a loud sigh into the microphone. Several dozen questions later, most of which coming from Caboose, the crowd no longer had anything to ask him. He looked at Mayor Mare, and she nodded at a group of ponies, who came out from behind the stage carrying instruments. Gary strolled off the stage and the town band started playing a happy song, which only made Gary feel more sick. He was not enjoying this oh-so-happy lifestyle. He looked around and aw that the others were heading towards the same direction. Happy he was being left alone, he began walking towards the farm, but was stopped when someone grabbed onto his shoulder.

"Please, no more!" Gary begged, jumping to the hooves of the one that stopped him. "I'm sick, I'm tired, and I just want to curl up into a ball and hide somewhere!"

"Then how are you going to come to my party, silly?" Pinkie asked.

"I don't want to go to a party!" Gary sobbed, hitting the ground with his hooves like a child.

"Come on, I'm throwing it just for you." Pinkie said, kicking her foreleg up, making Gary land on his feet. "I promise you'll have fun."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will." Pinkie nodded.

"No I won't." Gary asserted, beginning to walk away from the conversation.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you will." Pinkie assured him as she jumped in his way, grinning brightly.

"No I won't, I refuse to take part in your stupid little-" Gary started.

"Fine, have it your way, you can't come anyways." Pinkie shrugged, walking away. "It's funny ponies only."

"Now hold on just a minute, if I want to go, then I will." Gary said angrily. "And I'm three-thousand times funnier than you are!"

"So does that mean you want to go?" Pinkie asked with fake disinterest.

"Yes?" Gary asked after a few seconds.

"Okay, I guess you can go then." Pinkie nodded, hopping towards Sugar Cube Corner.

"Good!" Gary said, satisfied that he tricked her into letting him go into the party she was throwing for him, he followed her towards the sweet shop. "Stupid shisno."

They soon arrived at their destination, and Pinkie knocked on the door.

"Who is there?" Caboose asked from inside.

"Gary." Gary said loudly.

"Gary who?"

"That's my line!"

Caboose opened the door and stared at Gary with a look of confusion.

"What?" Gary asked quietly, not enjoying being stared at.

"Oh, now I get it!" Caboose laughed, before closing the door.

"His IQ must make him King of the shisnos..." Gary grunted.

"Not yet. And he said he wanted to be the Queen!" Pinkie said with a giggle as she pushed open the door. "But we promised he'd get to be the Queen only if I could be the King!"

With that, Gary watched as Pinkie hopped into the shop, humming to herself. Gary hesitated at the door when he saw the large amount of ponies filling the building, chatting away happily. He slowly stepped into the shop, when the door slammed shut behind him.

"So nice of you to come." Tex said, holding the door shut. Church and Twilight were standing beside her.

"Yes well, I wasn't going to let that pink menace prevent me from coming." Gary huffed. "Can you believe the nerve, telling me what I'm not allowed to do!"

"I know, that must boil you up." Church chuckled, knowing full well what Pinkie did. "Why don't you go get some punch?"

"No thank you, being here is enough to show that pink one who is the smartest." Gary shook his head, not keen on drinking anything else given to him by a shisno.

"He really doesn't get it, does he?" Twilight asked, smiling innocently at him.

"Get what?"

Twilight opened her mouth to explain it to him, but was quickly silenced.

"Wait for it." Tex said, putting her hoof over Twilight's mouth. "Let him figure it out on his own. It will make him feel like less of an idiot."

"Figure what out?" Gary asked, looking around the party, expecting there to be a trap. He then looked over to Pinkie, who filled a glass with punch and gave it to one of the many ponies standing near her. It then snapped in place, and instantly any smugness he felt had vanished, and had been filled with spite.

"There it is, he got it." Church sighed, patting Gary on the back. "Don't worry buddy, happens to the best of us."

No. Gary thought. It does not happen to the best of us. I have been tricked. Deceived. My second best trait was used against me! The nerve. I should go up to her and set her straight. Gary opened his mouth to call her out, but stopped to consider the situation. And then he began to smile. "Challenge accepted."

Interruptions

Church, Tex, Sarge, Tucker, Applejack, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and Spike were gathered at the far end of the room, talking among themselves. Grif was getting drinks with Simmons and Rarity from the table that Pinkie was standing guard. Church said nothing whenever someone tried talking to him. His attention was focused solely on Gary.

"Seems like an awful lot of trouble to go through for that asshole, huh?" Tucker asked, elbowing Church in the ribs as he watched Gary shoo away a couple of mares who went to question him. "I mean, just look at him. He doesn't look friendly. He doesn't sound friendly. I'm willing to bet he doesn't smell or taste friendly, but I can't be sure of that until the third date." Tucker chuckled, then turned to Rainbow Dash. "That reminds me, how many dates have we been on?"

"I think one." Rainbow Dash smirked.

"Really? I could have sworn it was more." Tucker muttered, scratching his head.

"I know, but don't you think we should get started soon?" Simmons asked, coming back to the group with Rarity and Grif.

"Soon." Rarity nodded. "I'm enjoying our little vacation. It has been so long since I have taken a nice, relaxing break."

"Grif, you agree with me, right?" Simmons asked, turning to his old friend.

"I don't know, this is the longest I've ever seen you go without doing anything." Grif shrugged, smirking at him. "I want to see how much longer you can go before you become sick."

"I think I already am."

"Come now, aren't you enjoying it?" Rarity asked.

"I am, but it's just-"

"What are you three talking about?" Spike asked, not liking how Simmons was arguing with Rarity.

"We've spent like a week off work, but we have a timed order." Simmons muttered.

"My creative juices are coming along nicely thanks to the time we've spent off, but I still don't feel like I'm fully inspired yet." Rarity said quietly. "Once I'm fully inspired I could finish all dresses in a matter of days."

"That's interesting." Church said.

"See? Church agrees with me." Rarity smiled.

"Hm?" Church asked, turning to Rarity. "Oh, I was talking about how Gary has just been watching Pinkie ever since he got here. I wonder what he's doing..."

"Why don't you go ask him?" Sarge laughed.

"He won't tell me anything. Even though I'm an AI, he still thinks I'm just as bad as everyone else..." Church sighed, then began walking towards Gary. "Though I guess I should do something."

"I'll come too." Grif said, trotting next to him.

"You want to help?" Church asked, impressed.

"No, I just need to grab some more food." Grif laughed as he sipped from his plastic cup.

"Of course." Church rolled his eyes.

Once they approached Gary, they saw that he was squinting at Pinkie, eyes darting around her body as if he was looking for a time to strike.

"What are you looking at Pinkie for?" Grif asked as he sipped out of the cup, appearing behind him with Church.

"That is none of your concern, shisno." Gary said faintly, not wanting to waste any time when he could be planning.

"You're going to need to watch out with that shisno crap now that you're in a public place." Church advised Gary.

"Mhm, yes, you do that." Gary nodded idly, walking towards Pinkie.

Church shared a knowing look with Grif. Gary was clearly up to something, and Church had a feeling he knew why. Gary waited near Pinkie until she had stopped serving punch to the party goers. They passed Gary to congratulate him, but his sight remained on Pinkie, ignoring the ponies trying to make small talk. Once they had left him lone, he walked behind Pinkie while she began rearranging the cups on the table.

"Pink one, I would-" Gary began, but Pinkie shoved a cupcake in his mouth.

"Oh, hey Gary!" Pinkie giggled, taking her hoof away. "Sorry, I thought you were Boosey. What can I do for you?"

"I would-" Gary began after swallowing the cupcake.

"-Like some punch?" Pinkie asked, overfilling a plastic cup with the punch, before grabbing his hoof and placing the cup in it.

"No." Gary muttered slowly, placing the cup on the table. "I would-"

"-Like the music to be louder? Gotcha!" Pinkie said, twisting the knob on the boombox, making the music too loud for Gary to talk. "Anything else I can do for you?"

Of all the infuriating... Gary began to think, before turning the music down to less than what it was before. "Pinkie."

"Yes?"

"I would..." Gary stopped, waiting for her to interrupt. When she did nothing but smile at him, he let out a sigh. "I would like to speak to you."

"You already are, silly." Pinkie giggled then snorted.

"Yes, we are, but I would like to speak to you in private."

"Where?"

"Private." Gary hissed.

"Can Caboose come too?" Pinkie asked.

Gary's left eye twitched, and the sick feeling began to return. Pinkie continued smiling innocently. Gary was wondering if she was doing this on purpose.

"Of course I'm not silly." Pinkie shook her head.

"What?" Gary said, eyes wide. Is she a-

"No, I'm not a mind reader, you're just reallly obvious." Pinkie laughed.

"Stop that!" Gary snapped.

"Stop what?" Caboose asked, appearing behind Gary, Gummy firmly gripping his head.

"Is that really wise?" Gary asked, looking at Caboose with confusion.

"Don't worry, I washed my hair today!" Caboose laughed, petting Gummy with his hoof.

"That's..." Gary trailed off as he looked into Gummy's eyes, which appeared to be staring into nothingness. This gave him a great sense of unease. Before he completely lost his train of thought, he broke eye contact with the reptile and turned his attention back to Pinkie. "Now, can I please talk to you in private?"

"I don't know... Caboose, what do you think?" Pinkie asked, rubbing her chin.

"I think that communism, while some believe to have merits based on it's principles, will not work in the long run due to the need of different classes." Caboose said quietly. "I also believe this is because in Communism, inequality comes from placing mediocrity on a level with excellence."

Gary raised his eyebrow and turned to Pinkie, about to ask if he was serious, when Gummy's tail wagged.

"Wait, no, that's what Gummy is telling me." Caboose gurgled happily. "I'm thinking about chocolate syrup."

"Okay, me too." Pinkie nodded thoughtfully, before running into the kitchen. "You heard him, we need chocolate syrup, stat!"

"Blue shisno, you wait here while I go talk to pink shisno." Gary said slowly, making sure he would understand.

"Gummy also thinks Communism will never work because people like to own stuff." Caboose nodded.

"Good to know. I will remember not to use communism when I rule all your lives. Good day to you." Gary said, turning towards the kitchen.

"Neighoming, there you are!" Mayor Mare smiled, small bag draped across her back. "I thought after the questions you went back to Sweet Apple Acres since you were sick, but Granny Smith said you didn't show up."

"Well, I don't want the fine residents of Ponyville to think I am a stiff." Gary said, forcing a single chuckle out.

"I'm sure nopony would have blamed you. I think they all saw how nervous you were getting."

"I wasn't nervous." Gary protested.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. Being nervous is natural, and since you haven't done any public speaking in a while, you might be a little rusty." Mayor Mare assured him, then her eyes shot open and she opened the bag on her back. "Oh, I almost forgot."

"Forgot what?" Gary asked, looking over her shoulder, trying to look into the bag.

"I went to Sweet Apple Acres to give you the book of laws for Ponyville, but you weren't there." Mayor Mare chuckled, before taking the book out of the bag with her mouth, then grabbed it with her hoof and held it out to Gary.

"Thank you." Gary said as he snatched the book. Quickly running to the table with the punch, he took a seat and opened the book.

"You're... welcome?" Mayor Mare said, watching Gary feverishly flip through the pages.

"Let's see here..." Gary muttered as he flipped to the index. He slowly lowered his hoof, reading each entry under his breath. "Zoning laws? No. Public indecency? Yes, but I seem to be the only one that thinks so. Aha! Public gatherings!" Gary cleared his throat as he flipped to the halfway point in the book. "Parties held in public places and or businesses must be approved by the Mayor of Ponyville. If they have not been approved, any authoritative figure may shut it down with no appeal." Gary read under his breath, grinning darkly. "Perfect."

Enforcing The Law

Mayor Mare was conversing with three mares, having a great time interacting with the ponies that respected her so highly. Gary watched dubiously, wondering how one could so willingly treat others as equals when they are of a higher authority. But it was that authority that he needed to be present.

"Mayor Mare, I apologize for interrupting, but I am afraid I need your assistance with something." Gary said loudly as he walked next to Mayor Mare interrupting one of the mares who was talking to her.

"What is it?" Mayor Mare asked with a nervous smile.

"Well, it seems to me that one of your citizens has broken a law, and I require you to help sort it out."

"Very well." Mayor Mare nodded to the trio of mares. "We will continue are conversation once this had been dealt with." With that, he turned back to Gary and smiled. "Where is the pony involved?"

"In the kitchen." Gary smiled back as he began walking away.

"The kitchen? What are they doing in there?" Mayor Mare asked, quickly catching up to Gary. Gary didn't answer, but instead focused on the destination. "Who is it?"

"The one hosting this party." Gary said as he pushed the door open, revealing Pinkie rummaging through the cupboards.

"Oh, hey guys!" Pinkie laughed without looking. "Give me a second, I'm still looking for the chocolate syrup."

"The chocolate syrup can wait." Gary said, slowly closing the door.

"Of course it can, it's an inanimate object!" Pinkie giggled, hopping to her hooves. "So what can I do for you? Did they run out of drinks in there?"

"No, no, there are enough drinks in there. But it is related to them." Gary cleared his throat. "It's about the party."

"The party? What's wrong with the party?" Pinkie asked, tilting her head. "Is it not loud enough?"

"No, it is loud enough." Gary groaned. She knows what I'm doing, she's just stalling! Gary's eyes shifted to Mayor Mare, then back to Pinkie. "Did you ask the Mayor before you threw it?" Gary asked, making both Mayor Mare's and Pinkie's ears to perk up.

"Well..." Pinkie said, rubbing her cheek. "No. I usually do, it's just that there was such short notice since you-"

"Are you aware that you effectively stomped on the law with your hoof?"

"I did?" Pinkie asked, checking her hoof. "I don't see any law on it."

"What a shame." Gary chuckled, holding the open book to Mayor Mare. "Mayor Mare, may you please read subsection B for public gatherings?"

"Alright." Mayor Mare said hesitantly, before reading the page out loud. "Parties held in public places and or businesses must be approved by the Mayor of Ponyville. If they have not been approved, any authoritative figure may shut it down with no appeal."

"And it is to my understanding that Pinkie is an... upstanding citizen, correct?" Gary said, pretending to sigh sadly. "It is a shame though."

"I don't fully understand, you want to shut down her party?" Mayor Mare asked, looking at Gary with a curious eye.

"Well, I love the party, but the law is more important than the wants of the few. The law is the law, and as much as I appreciate the thought of a party held in my honor, I simply do not believe that that's a good enough reason for you to disobey the law." Gary said, trying his hardest not to smirk, even though he knew he had her.

Mayor Mare looked up from the pages and smiled lopsidedly at Pinkie, not wanting to tell her she couldn't have the party.

"But... I love parties..." Pinkie said, looking at Mayor Mare with almost pleading eyes.

"I know you do, but he is right." Mayor Mare said, nodding dimly at Pinkie, before giving the book back to Gary.

"But I always throw parties..." Pinkie trailed off, looking at the ground

"I know, but you or the Cakes would have had to run it by me first." Mayor Mare said, patting Pinkie on the back to make her feel better.

"Yeah. Hey Mayor Mare, do you mind if I throw a party for Ga- I mean Neighoming?" Pinkie asked, snapping back to her bubbly personality like a rubber band.

"I don't see why not." Mayor Mare laughed, giving Pinkie a much brighter nod.

"Yay!" Pinkie whooped, cart wheeling out of the room.

"Thank you for bringing that to my attention." Mayor Mare said, walking past Gary, back into the main room. "A few hours on the job, and you're already at it. Well done."

Gary's eye twitched once again. He had to make Pinkie pay. It would just take more effort than he expected to give, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He ran up to the counter and slammed the book of laws onto the counter, flipping to the index to look for anything he could use against her. Gary's scowl deepened, unable to find anything of use. He kicked the cupboard he was standing next to, not willing to admit defeat to a shisno.

"Shh, he'll hear you!" A voice said from inside the cupboard.

"Wha-" Gary yelped, jumping away from the cabinet. Slowly, he crawled up to the cabinet and opened it to see Caboose curled up into an uncomfortable looking ball, Gummy still clamping onto his head. "How long have you been under there?"

"I think a few hours." Caboose muttered, staring off into the distance with wide, fearful eyes. "I have seen into time itself, uncovered it's secrets, learned things that no-"

"I saw you outside less than five minutes ago." Gary said, standing back up to look around.

"Time is irrelevant." Caboose disagreed as Gummy's tail wagged.

"Quite." Gary said, before taking Gummy off of Caboose's head. "Now, what are you doing down there?"

"Church said there were Lucky Charms in here, but they would only how up if I told him what you were doing."

"Hmph." Gary grunted apathetically. His eyes darted to the alligator and he began to examine it. "Shisno, tell me, do you know of any laws that disallow psychic alligators?"

"I don't think so." Caboose thought deeply. "Are there any laws disallowing Lucky Charms?"

"I will look into it." Gary lied, setting the alligator loose onto the ground. "You may go tell Church that I enforced the law. That will surely show him that I am taking this seriously."

"Do you want to come too?" Caboose asked as he fell out of the cupboard and onto his face. While he was on the floor, Gummy bit onto his head again. He jumped back to his hooves and laughed as he pet Gummy's back. "Thank you Gummy, my head was getting cold."

Gary nodded and followed Caboose out of the kitchen. They soon arrived next to the group, who stared at him as if they were waiting for him to speak, but he simply smiled at the others.

"What are you so happy about?" Tex asked finally, after a few minutes of awkward silence.

"Oh, I think I'll let Caboose tell you that one." Gary chuckled, surprisingly throwing his right foreleg over Caboose's shoulders.

"Gummy thinks communism is-" Caboose began.

"Not that part." Gary said, closing Caboose's mouth with his hoof. "Tell them what I did."

"You closed my mouth." Caboose stated.

"In the kitchen." Gary said, using the last bit of his patience to be friendly.

"Oh, right. Pinkie had this party without telling the Mayor, and that isn't allowed, so he told the Mayor and made it so Pinkie obeyed the law!"

Gary's smile furthered when he saw the others jaws drop.

"You enforced a law?" Sarge asked.

"Well, yes." Gary replied quietly, acting shocked. "I told you I was taking this seriously."

"You don't exactly have the best track record for being serious." Tex said.

"What, you can change but I can't?" Gary laughed.

'You're admitting being a shisno?" Church asked.

"No, I'm admitting I'm better than a shisno." Gary corrected him. "Shisnos can't change for the better." Then took a step back when a few of the others narrowed their eyes at him. "No offense, I'm just stating the facts. You told me to fit in, and I came out on top."

"I guess that means you should go get Delta." Simmons said to Church.

"He doesn't have his mark though." Sarge grunted.

"He doesn't need it." Church said pensively, looking at the partygoers. None of them were pestering Gary. None were staring. They were just having a good time. "The ponies in this town don't seem to perturbed with the fact that some ponies don't have their marks, and since he seems to be fitting in, why should we wait?"

"There we are! Trust!" Gary smiled at Church.

"Besides, if Gary is up to anything we could use Delta's help figuring him out." Church added.

"How rude. I've clearly shown my change, and still you don't trust me? What more do I have to do?" Gary asked, but interrupted Church when he began to speak. "I know you don't trust my word, so while I'd like to say I won't do anything, you won't believe me, so I won't bother with that. Go get Delta, try to prove me wrong, but it's clearly been shown that I'm alone anyways, so there is no point in trying to cause trouble when the odds are stacked in your favor."

"Fine." Church nodded, looking at the door.

"There, now that that's out of the way, how about I tell you all a joke?"

"Shut up Gary."

Surprising Outcome

Church woke up at ten in the morning, but stared at the ceiling for half an hour, thinking. Waiting. Waiting for something good to happen for once. He looked to his side and saw Tex, fast asleep. Her dark red hair hanging over her face, which was as peaceful as it's ever been. Being here was doing a lot for Tex, and though she would never admit it, Church knows that she finds the peaceful pace of life a relief. Church looked at her face and saw a small smile hiding under her hair, and that made him smile. With a sigh he slowly got out of the bed, sure not to wake her up. Not just because he wanted to let her sleep, but because she is a nasty bitch when she wakes up. Once he was off the bed, he made his way out the door and down the stairs. He instinctively went into the kitchen and grabbed a bite to eat.

"Hey Church." Spike said, descending from the stairs, rubbing his eyes along the way.

"Hey Spike." Church muffled as he chomped into his food. "Hell of a party, huh?"

"Yeah, I probably should have went to bed earlier though." Spike said, stretching his arms as wide as he could. "You seem happy."

"Is that a bad thing?" Church asked curiously.

"No, it's just surprising." Spike laughed, jumping on the seat next to Church. "Was a little nervous when I saw your smile."

"I was going to say the same thing." The Necronomicon muttered. "I don't like it when he isn't moping around."

"Why, because you can't get to me?" Church smirked.

"Exactly. You are the muse to my quick wit. Without you being easily annoyed, I can't have any fun pestering you."

"What a shame." Church grunted, smile faltering slightly. "At least you have Blaring Who or whatever the fuck her name is."

"It's Daring Do." The Necronomicon growled. "You don't see me tormenting you about your lady, do you?"

"Actually, you're always tormenting me about Tex..." Church said, glaring at the book.

"Baby, you know I don't mean it."

"You are undoubtedly one of the most annoying fucking talking objects I've ever had the displeasure of knowing, you know that?" Church asked coldly as he finished his small breakfast. "And I've met Andy, and that guy is a full out prick."

"Come now, you're not trying to make me cry, are you? I'm a very emotional book, and I have feelings! I'd hate to let Daring see me like that."

"Anything I can bribe you with to make you stop talking?"

"Your soul!" The Necronomicon boomed darkly, then coughed awkwardly when Spike and Church focused on him. "Sorry, I get that from my father's side."

"You're fucked up." Church muttered, turning back to Spike. "So what are you doing up so early?"

"Uh, I'll tell you later if she let's me." Spike said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Who, Twilight?" Church asked.

"Can't say." Spike shook his head. "I promised. Sorry."

"I've already told you I'm used to being left out of the loop, so there's no need to be sorry." Church murmured as he peeled off his chair. "I should probably get going anyways. Need to go grab Delta."

"Okay, I guess." Spike nodded, half waving at Church.

"See you later." Church waved back, before making his way to the edge of the Everfree Forest.

Church walked through the forest, making good time. The path to the ruins had been cleared a bit since the last time, and Church could only assume it was either Delta or Zecora, so he kept up his pace, intending to get in and out as soon as possible. To pass the time, Church let his mind wander onto other things, like what the other fragments Cutie Marks are going to be, when Gary is going to get his, and whether or not the fragments would truley fit in. Church knew the place was tolerant to most things, and even didn't seem to mind their foul language. But he was wondering how they would react to Gary once the plans church knew he had set into motion, or how they would react to Sigma and O'Malley. Or rather how they would react to them. He tried thinking of something else, but that question kept coming back to him. Soon enough, he arrived at the catacombs, glad to take his mind off of the questions which were now piling up.

"Out of the frying pan and into the fire." Church grunted as he reached the staircase, which had till not been cleared out as to not let any of the fragments escape without them knowing.

Church closed his eyes and pictured the bottom of the staircase in hi minds, and using his magic he teleported into the catacombs. He opened his eyes again and saw nothing but darkness, but before he could say anything he took a step forward and tripped down the steps. He had accidentally missed his target location and fell to the bottom of the stairs.

"God damn it." Church hissed, holding the side of his head that had connected with one of the steps. Church glanced up, ignoring the pain, and saw Theta, Sigma and O'Malley spread out, sitting way from each other.

"Good morning, brother." Sigma greeted him, but not warmly. "Have a nice trip?"

"Delta out with Zecora?" Church asked, taking a seat next to Theta.

"Yeah, and it's starting to get annoying." Theta said honestly, staring at the podiums where their new bodies used to stand. "He leaves for longer amounts of time each time, leaving me to watch after them for hours on end."

"Maybe he's trying to get you ready for when he comes with us. You know, conditioning you so you aren't suddenly overwhelmed."

"That does seem like Delta." Theta smiled.

"Oh yes, Delta is so merciful to us. Even though we can't be trusted, he still keeps us informed with everything." Sigma said, grinning darkly. "I guess he knows we AI really need to stick together."

"Right." Church said, slowly looking from Sigma, to O'Malley, then to Theta. "Did I miss something?" Church asked, and Theta's eyes instantly darted to O'Malley. "What is it?"

"Nothing." Theta said dismissively. He turned to Church and shrugged. "Not much has happened. What about Gary, I assume he's fitting in alright?"

"As much as he's going to, I guess." Church shrugged limply. "He managed to wiggle his way into being the Mayor's assistant."

"That doesn't sound good." Theta mumbled pensively, eyes narrowing as he thought of all the outcomes of that.

"It's not." Church agreed, mouth turned into a mistrusting sneer. "Too many things can go wrong, but I know he won't try to do anything too bad while we're all watching him, so the only thing we can do is bring in you guys and keep our eyes on him." Church sighed and looked at O'Malley. "I'm not sure why, but I think I'll have an easier time with you up there. At least your intentions are clear."

"You really know me for me." O'Malley said, putting his forehooves over his heart. "I will have to remember that when I'm reeling out your stomach like an organ grinding monkey."

A green flare erupted from the stairwell, making Church shield his eyes. He did not panic, however, since he knew it was Delta, so he lowered his hoof to see Delta and Zecora staring at him.

"I assume things with Gamma are not working out as planned and you want some help." Delta said when Church opened his mouth to speak.

"Yeah." Church said with a forced laugh. "I'm still a little worried about-"

"-Leaving Omega and Sigma in the hands of Theta." Delta interrupted, as usual he had read his intentions flawlessly.

"Stop doing that speaking before I do crap." Church groaned.

"I apologize. I will try to do as you wish." Delta bowed his head.

"Thank you." Church sighed. "I guess maybe we can get-"

"-Zecora to help Theta watch over them. That would be the most acceptable outcome." Delta nodded, then raised a brow as Church shook his head. "I apologize once again."

Church grunted, then something on Delta flashed out of the corner of his eye. Church snapped his vision down, and saw a symbol on Delta's flank.

"It is an abacus, twisted in the form of a double helix." Delta said simply, looking at Zecora, who was smiling at him.

"You got it without us." Church said dumbly, not having expected that.

"It is as simple as knowing what you are good at." Delta explained. "The chances of my mark being related to anything other than science was one to fifteen thousand."

"Of course." Church muttered, still looking at it. After a few seconds of that he glanced up and made eye contact with Delta. "When did you get it?"

"I believe to explain it would require time."

"We have time." Church assured him, taking a seat in the catacombs, no longer caring about getting home as fast as he could.

"Very well." Delta nodded. "I suppose I should start from when you left with Gary..."

Outlooks

"I apologize for the wait, while it was unexpected, doing this was necessary." Delta said after he had crossed the bridge from the ruins.

"There is no need for you to apologize, my friend." Zecora said, raising her head to look through the leaves. "The day is still young, so we have much time to spend."

"I am glad you feel that way. Now, you said you were still missing some ingredients?"

Zecora nodded towards another path that branched off the one they were standing on..

"I apologize, but you will have to escort Gary out yourself." Delta said, looking at Church.

"Yeah, sure, have fun on your date." Church said quietly as he started down the path.

Delta nodded and began following Zecora down the path, going deeper into the Everfree.

"So what ingredients are we going to be seeking?" Delta asked after a few moments of silence. "Are we going to have to go into harms way like the others had when Grif was infected?"

"Worry not, there are no creatures we will have to harm or slay."

"Then what is it we are looking for?"

"Mostly plants, but we do not have to find them all in one day." Zecora said quickly, then started down another path. "First I need to go home and check on a few things, as well as prepare a few tools I must bring."

"Very well. I assume we will need jars to carry the items in." Delta agreed as he walked after her, quickly catching up to her side. They remained silent for the length of the trip, until they arrived at Zecora's hut. "Just out of curiosity, how long have you lived in this forest?" Delta asked as they entered.

"A number of years I have lived by myself in this forest, in this house, but I prefer living in an area that is as quiet as a mouse." Zecora chuckled as she pushed open her door, then instantly began looking for the tools she needs. "Many a times I have been tempted to move into Ponyville, but due to the sparsity of ingredients I don't think I will."

"Ah, you chose to be in the epicenter of the forest where you have equal access to everything, rather than live in an area where you could not get any work done. I admire that greatly."

"You do?" Zecora asked.

"Certainly. It is not often one follows their passion wholeheartedly. It is an admirable quality to have."

"Thank you."

"I simply wish York would have done the same."

"York?" Zecora echoed, then quickly broke eye contact with Delta. "Oh, he was the freelancer you were assigned to."

"Do not feel the need to apologize. It was a likely outcome for a bad situation." Delta shook his head.

"I see. What was it in life that he wanted to do?"

"He wanted to help people." Delta said simply. "That was why he became a freelancer. He wanted to protect people who did not have the means to protect themselves. By becoming a freelancer he hoped to do good things. That is sadly what led to his downfall." Delta said, and his eyes were unnaturally soft. "Had he not decided to help Allison in her time of need, he would have lived. Had I just..." Delta stopped, then smiled at Zecora when he saw her frowning at him. "Never mind that. The past is the past. What else do we need?"

Zecora watched Delta in silence as he walked around the hut, grabbing jars, labels and tow bags, one for either of them. Delta opened a the bag and began putting the items in them.

"Delta, I hope you do not blame yourself for your friends death." Zecora said, making Delta come to a stop. "I am sure he never blamed you, not even with his last breath."

"I know he would not. That is why when Allison offered to take me with her, I chose to stay with him in his final moments, even if I was supposed to perish when his armor shut off." Delta said dismissively.

"You chose to die by his side?" Zecora asked, mouth hanging open slightly.

"It's just part of what makes us human." Delta stated.

"I'm sure you doing that filled him with a sense of pride." Zecora said, bowing her head in a sign of respect.

"I am sure of this as well, Zecora." Delta said, bowing his head too, before looking back up to the bag of bottles. "Is that everything?"

Zecora nodded and put one of the bags on her back. She then turned to Delta and watched as he put on his own with his magic.

"I find it remarkable that in such a small amount of time you have become just as good at magic as I have at rhymes." Zecora said once he was done.

"It is easy once you know how." Delta said as Zecora opened the door and walked out. "So what about your family and friends? What led you to live here, rather than where your family was?"

"The answer to that I am not entirely sure. Perhaps I wanted to live in an area that was no longer impure."

"You do not like civilized society?" Delta asked curiously. "Why live near Ponyville then?"

"No, I do, which is why I live so close to one. But I prefer living as we did when we begun."

"By that I assume you mean you like fending for yourself, as nature intended?" Delta asked, to which Zecora reponded to with a nod. "Another admirable trait. Not many would even consider doing the same."

Zecora paused and began looking around, ears moving slightly as if trying to catch a sound.

"Is something the matter?" Delta asked, trying to look through the forest for any signs of a threat.

"I thought I heard something, but now I believe it to be nothing." Zecora shook her head hesitantly before resuming her path. "I am glad you've decided to stay and help me with my brewing and chores." Zecora said, not looking at Delta. "I used to not mind, but doing that alone is something I've begun to abhor."

"Not at all, you have been most generous with your help. Had you not done anything the chances of us having lived-"

"It is best not to think of the past in terms of what ifs. Instead, look at the things that have happened as gifts." Zecora said, smiling lightly at Delta.

"That is a wise philosophy, but unfortunately I have been programmed to look at and examine all outcomes of an event." Delta said, looking at a tree to his left. "For example, looking at that tree by itself I calculate all the things that go wrong, such as the tree falling down, either on top of us, on something else, or onto nothing. Or maybe a forest fire will start, and any animals living in it will be forced to retreat, or even perish."

"Hmm. I did not realize that your mind could not see anything but bleak." Zecora sighed. "Perhaps it would be best if we kept to the walk and stopped with the speak."

"You misunderstand, I do not see everything in terms of how they could go bad. I see both the good as well as the bad. Take that same tree for example. It provides life for the beings of this world. Both the ponies, as well as the creatures in this forest. In a way, without that tree some may not live, and without it the world would be in a significantly worse state." Delta explained, then looked through the leaves of the branches above him, catching glimpses of the sun's rays. "It is the acceptance of all outcomes that I think to. If you ignore all the bad things that could happen then you live recklessly. The good does not outweigh the bad, nor vice versa. By accepting both, I live as one should. Peacefully, accepting of what life gives out, no matter how good or bad the end result is." Delta looked to Zecora and she noticed a small glimpse of helplessness in his eyes. "The whole world could crumble, but there would be no use mourning as there is nothing one could have done to prevent it. As is life. A series of events that no single being can be held accountable for."

"That is why we live life as we see fit, rather than worry about the end of it." Zecora said with a nod of understanding.

"In friendlier terms than mine, but precisely how I feel." Delta said, smiling at her.

Guidance

Delta walked with Zecora, following the path out of her house. While there was the occasional dirt path, the majority of the paths looked nearly identical to what was not a path, there was just a few hoof prints to show you the way. After twenty minutes of walking, as well as several deviations on their path, Zecora stopped Delta and looked around.

"What is it?" Delta asked, expecting danger. "Is there something following us?"

"No, we have arrived at the location of the first of the plants." Zecora said, easing Delta's mind.

"Are there any native predators in the area?" Delta inquired. "You have not promised me that there are no risks."

"That is because that is a promise to you that I cannot grant." Zecora smiled softly.

"I see." Delta said simply, looking around. "Which plant is it?"

Zecora nodded towards another path, but this one led to a field of blue plants.

"Oddly bright for this forest." Delta said, and as he took a step toward the plants he felt a strange sensation in his forehead. Before he could ask what it was, Zecora started towards them.

Zecora kept her pace until she was three feet away from the plants, eyeing them cautiously. Delta walked up next to her and saw her looking over the field, checking for the best of the crop. Her gaze fell on one of the nearest plants. After she looked at it for a few seconds, she nodded to Delta, telling him to grab it with his magic.

"What are the properties of this plant?" Delta asked, lowering his head to examine the one she had pointed out.

"Do not touch that plant, Poison Joke, lest you wish to be afflicted." Zecora said, quickly pulling Delta back. "This plant does not cause harm, but practical jokes are what are inflicted."

"Practical... jokes?" Delta asked, looking back to the crop of shimmering, blue plants. "How can flora cause practical jokes? That is highly unli-"

The sound of a branch snapping came from the other side of the field, interrupting Delta. Zecora crouched down until her stomach was touching the ground, then nodded at Delta for him to do the same. Delta followed her lead, but continued looking for the source of the snapping. A small, baby bunny hopped into the clearing on the other side and sniffed the air curiously. The bunny jumped toward the Poison Joke and smelled the air around it. It closed it's eyes happily and rubbed it's belly, then sunk it's teeth into one of the leaves of the plant. For a few moments nothing happened, so Delta turned to Zecora to ask her if these were the plants she was thinking of. The bunny began making squeaking noises, and when Delta turned to look he no longer saw the cute, fluffy bunny. What he saw was a shaved bunny with tar and feathers over it's body, jumping around wildly. It then darted back into the darkness. Zecora snapped back to her feet and helped Delta do the same.

"That was strange." Delta said as he stared at the plants. "Is that the only thing it does?"

"That is most definitely not the strangest thing I have seen that plant do. I would recommend collecting with magic, unless you want the same to happen to you."

"But where did it get the tar and feathers? How did it shave the bunny?"

"Unicorns are not the only things that have access to magic." Zecora smiled at him. "We should collect the plants quickly, unless we want to see something tragic."

"Very well." Delta nodded. Using his magic, he grabbed a jar out of his bag, undid the top, put a thin layer of dirt on the bottom and picked one of the plants to place in the jar. He raised the jar and began to examine the plant further.

"It is a beautiful specimen, is it not?" Zecora asked, noticing how intrigued he was by it. "Certainly not something you find that can be bought."

"The citizens of Ponyville or the surrounding area don't come in to collect the plants?" Delta asked, not daring to look away from the plant, expecting it to do something to him if he did. "I would have thought they would come in here to study the plant to learn how they use magic."

"Magic is not something that can completely be explained." Zecora shrugged. "Most ponies find that from studying this plant, no knowledge can be gained."

"Everything can be explained." Delta said firmly, before turning his attention back to the luminescent flower. "But what if the plant's genome changes? What if it no longer becomes just a practical joker? What if it evolves to hurt someone?"

"While magic is natural in a sense, on it's own it cannot evolve. The only way to advance magic is for one to do it with great resolve."

"But the plant itself. Surely it could evolve. Become larger, more durable. What if this becomes no longer a simple flower, but instead becomes a tree?" Delta asked, looking around the surrounding area. "What if the entire forest becomes Poison Joke trees as well as flowers?"

"You really do think to much, my knowledgeable friend." Zecora chuckled happily as she began walking away from the plants. "Your mind is something I fear I will never comprehend."

"My mind is quite easy to understand, it is the process in which it thinks that others seem to have trouble with." Delta sighed, placing the jar into his bag. "What else is needed?"

"Only a few plants remain for today, the rest can be found on a later date." Zecora said, motioning her head for him to follow.

"Understood." Delta nodded, and with one more studying glace of the field of azure, he set off after Zecora. "I mean no offense by the following question, but why did you help us?"

"My tribe, as well as most of the other tribes, believe in the after life, as well as lost spirits." Zecora said pensively, trying to recall her childhood memories. "In my village there was a zebra names Yumba, and it was to the lost spirits that she commit."

"Ah, a spirit guide." Delta nodded quickly.

"Not only for spirits, but for other zebras too." Zecora said, looking at Delta without turning. "That is what I feel I am to you."

"Intriguing." Delta said thoughtfully.

"You are lost in this world, and I want to do what I can to help you find your place." Zecora said, and a branch snapping behind her made her top. She then resumed her path, but was now trotting at a reasonable speed. "We will continue this talk when we have the time, for now let's pick up the pace."

"Very well." Delta said, knowing better than to argue.

They trotted for five minutes nonstop, until Zecora nodded to a smaller, slimmer path. Delta turned and trotted down that path with her and they found themselves in a small clearing that had a ten feet long pond. The area surrounding the pond was thick with trees that had small, orange fruits on them, as well as long vines that curled up the tree. The only way in was through the path they had entered. Zecora smiled as she knelt by the pond and began drinking out of it.

"Is it safe?" Delta asked curiously, stepping next to the pond to look at his reflection.

"I would not be drinking out of it if it wasn't." Zecora smiled in response, taking a seat next to one of the trees. "I think we can take a break, that would be most pleasant."

"Agreed." Delta said, examining his reflection once again, trying to look into himself. He took a few sips of the water, then shook his head. Not out of disgust, the water was pure, but because he was feeling things he was not used to. "Hunger. Thirst. Sleep. I never had to worry about that before."

"You should not worry about that, it will take some getting used to." Zecora said, trying to make him not so worried. She heard his stomach growl, so she smiled and looked up at the bright orange fruits. "Speaking of hunger, can you use magic to grab some of those fruits?"

"Thank you for reminding me." Delta said quietly, quickly pulling down half a dozen of the fruits to place them on the ground.

Zecora grabbed one of them and rubbed it off on her neck, cleaning the fruit until it shined. She then took a bite out of it and closed her eyes, silently enjoying her snack. Delta watched her, then used his magic to clean one of the fruits on her neck. She stared at him, confused, but then saw that he was confused as well. Zecora smiled to herself, knowing he believed that is how it had to be done, then nodded at him. Delta flashed a quick and confused smile at her, then stared at the fruit. He then sighed and took a bite out of it, before being taken by surprise by the flavor. They continued their meal in silence until they were finished.

The Best Offense

"What kind of fruit is this?" Delta asked when he finished his last one an began to look at the trees that were filled with them. "I have not seen many like it."

"There are not many places that this fruit can grow. The last place they grow, is in fact in this grove." Zecora said, looking at the trees. "I made it a rule to not to feed on them when I come, but what are rules when you are with a good chum?"

"Chum? Ah, you mean acquaintance." Delta nodded with a smile.

Zecora shook her head with a smile and began to reply, when a sharp howl came from the entrance. Their heads shot to the entrance and they could see several pairs of glowing eyes making their way towards them.

"It is as I feared, we were being hunted. Come, we must hide." Zecora hissed, quickly jumping into a bush near the entrance to the area.

"What is it?" Delta asked, ignoring her warning to look further.

"This is no time for questions, to my words you must abide!" Zecora said snappishly.

"Very well." Delta nodded, turning to walk into the bush to hide with her. "This does not seem like it would provide much cov-"

Delta was stopped mid-sentence when something heavy tackled him to the ground. Delta slammed his eyes shut at the force of the blow and flew to the ground. Delta, now dazed, got off the ground and began backing up as he looked up to see what had knocked him down. There were four wooden creatures of varying size and shape, looking at him with hungering eyes.

"Ah, Timberwolves." Delta said, stepping back until he was a few feet away from a tree. "I hope this is an invigorating learning experience for both parties."

Zecora opened her mouth as one of the smaller timberwolves bent it's legs, preparing to jump, but she hesitated when she saw Delta's mouth move incredibly fast. The timberwolf, however, was not curious by his actions and launched itself at the still Delta.

"Expected trajectory, forty-eight degree jump, presumably for the throat. Top speed at which it can jumping, approximately sixty-six feet per second. Probability of success." Delta said to himself in the fraction of a second the wolf was in the air, then side stepped. "Zero percent."

The wolf slammed it's snout into the tree behind him, making half a dozen large branches fall. Delta made slight movement to just barely dodge the falling debris. The small wolf yelped, before running away from Delta.

"One of the weaker specimens. Must still be young." Delta said, when he heard a howl exploded from his right. He lowered his flank to the ground and saw another one of the timberwolves snap for his hindquarters, but it missed and crashed into the ground. "Predatorial skills, exceptional. Attacking when my guard is down. Aiming for an easier area to grab. Extremely intelligent."

A few of the timberwolves stared at each other, eyes filling with anger. The wolf that fell to the ground jumped to it's paws and lowered itself to the ground, stalking around him. It jumped at Delta, but pulled back instantly. Delta simply stood, fascinated, while Zecora watched breathlessly.

"Probing for weakness, fear. Perhaps trying to cause me to flinch to allow the others to strike." Delta nodded, then began examining the legs of the wolf, which moved silently, but moved stiffly. He then looked at the timberwolf's neck as it reached the others. "Neck protected by thicker bark than anywhere else on it's body. Interesting. Defense mechanism against the other predators in this forest?"

The biggest of the wolves let out a low, rough bark. Three of the wolves including itself began circling him. They stopped once they were an equal distance away from each other. The thinnest wolf bared it's teeth at him and began growling.

"Interesting, the secretion that they hold is nowhere to be seen on it's teeth." Delta said, eyeing the wolf curiously. "Perhaps only males carry have evolved to use it."

Another howl, this time coming from all three of the wolves. And the female wolf charged at him. Delta closed his eyes, relying on the sound of it's paws scratching dirt, judging where it was going to go. He smiled to himself, but frowned when the other two wolves charged at him.

"Hm, moving onto guerrilla tactics. Unexpected." Delta grunted.

The first wolf jumped towards Delta's chest, but he rolled onto the ground, narrowly avoiding the offensive maneuver. While he was getting up both the male wolves lunged at him, not willing to give the green target any mercy. Delta jumped into the air, doing a roll as he barely managed to squeeze between the two, once again just barely scraping out of the attack unharmed. He landed on his feet and stared at the wolves out of the corner of his eye. The wolves howled at him, but it was not a howl calling other wolves, but one of pure hatred. Delta squinted as the wolf raised it's entire body to howl, rather than just it's neck.

"The bark surrounding neck impedes flexibility and reach, sacrificial chance of success for attack for chance of success for defense." Delta said, turning to Zecora who watched him, jaw dropped at the display. "Beautiful design." Delta smiled, then turned back to the wolves. "It does exceptionally well in both regards."

Delta began running to the left of the smaller, male wolf. Once he was within three feet of it, it sprang towards him, drooling out of the corner of his mouth. Delta quickly changed his course once the wolf jumped, running to the right of it now. The wolves took a few steps back, trying to think of a way to beat their prey.

"Unfortunately, it does not see time ahead, attacks in the moment." Delta sighed sadly, as a scientist would at a failed experiment. "Strange, I believed these creatures to be quote 'ahead of the game'. Instead, If handled correctly, they provide no more threat than a chihuahua."

The large wolf snapped at the two other wolves, and the wolves barked back. Delta narrowed his eyes, trying to understand them. The wolf snapped again but this time bit the small, male wolf on the neck. It yelped and ran to the female wolf's side. The female wolf let out a soft sigh-like noise, then lowered her head. The large wolf snapped a third time, and the two wolves lowered themselves and ran out of the clearing, leaving just the large wolf. The wolf glared at Delta. Now it wasn't about game hunting. It was about it's pride as Alpha male. Delta glanced to one of the larger branches had fallen when the first wolf slammed into the tree. His horn began to glow as he picked up the branch and hit his bag with it, shattering some of the jars. The wolf watched contemptibly as Delta dumped the bag of glass over the branch. Zecora bit her tongue, torn between not wanting him to harm the wolf and not wanting the wolf to harm him.

"Do not worry, I promise that the only harm that will come to it is harm to it's pride." Delta promised, when he saw the male grit it's dry teeth, then lick them with it's tongue. "Ah, it does not actually come out of the gums, but is spread onto it's teeth with it's tongue. Poison glands must be located inside the neck area, hence why the bark is thicker there. Strange design."

The wolf dove at him, eyes burning brightly, mouth open wide. Delta pulled the branch off the ground and slammed it into the wolf's jaw, and it clamped down, extract pouring onto the branch.

"Ah, the secretion which infected Grif." Delta said, whipping the branch left and right, loosening the creature's grip on the branch until it let go and flew into the small pond. He brought the branch up to eye level. "Very high viscosity, but spreads quickly when it reaches the bloodstream."

The wolf slowly skulked out of the pond behind him, taking advantage of the fact that he was studying it so intensely. Zecora began to yell a warning, but felt her throat dry. Knowing better than to howl and lose it's chance, it jumped for Delta's throat and clamped down hard, pulling him to the ground. Delta grunted softly, but it was not a grunt of pain. The wolf wrestled with Delta on the ground briefly, but it became shrouded in a green mist and levitated off of him. Delta rolled his neck around and walked up to the bound, helpless wolf.

"Marshmallows?" Delta questioned skeptically as he looked at it's teeth. "Once again, strange."

A shaken Zecora took one step out of the thicket, eyeing Delta warily, glancing between him and the wolf.

"I assure you that it is safe." Delta promised her, then saw a look of bewilderment in her eyes. "Ah, about your Posion Joke..." Delta sighed, lifting up the branch the timberwolf had bit to show her. Zecora squinted and saw blue smears, as well as a blue petal stuck to the branch. "As you can see when it bit into the branch, the plant used it's magic against the wolf. That is why I smashed the jars and dumped it on the branch." Delta paused. "I apologize for the jars."

Zecora shook her head as she let out a heavy sigh of relief, happy he was not harmed when she took it upon herself to watch him.

"Now why did you jump in there?" Delta asked seriously, referring to the bush. "Surely they would have sniffed us out."

"I have had many experiences with these creatures of bark-" Zecora started, trailing off as she looked at Delta.

"What is wrong?" Delta asked as he turned to look behind him, not expecting one of the wolves to have returned.

"You are looking in the wrong place my friend." Zecora shook her head. "Instead you must look on your back end, for you have gotten your cutie mark."

"So I have." Delta nodded before falling into a silence, gazing at his flank for a few minutes. He instantly noted that the mark was of an abacus, twisted in the shape of a double helix, a symbol of both mathematics mixed with a symbol of science. "This is a good thing, correct?" Delta asked, turning back to her and raising his brow. She simply nodded and he threw the branch to the side. "Noted. Shall we continue?"

Burnt

"You're kidding, right?" Church asked, staring slack-jawed at Delta. Delta nodded passively. "What did you do with the wolf?"

"I released the wolf and it ran off to find it's pack." Delta said, eyes trailing back to his cutie mark. "That reminds me, we must find it later and use the antidote on it."

"What happened next?" Church pressed.

"We finished getting the ingredients over the coming days." Delta said simply, when he saw Church giving him an unusual look. "Are you disappointed?"

"No, I'm surprised if anything." Church said, starting to look around the room, then stared at Zecora firmly.

"Do you wish to leave now?" Delta asked curiously.

"Yeah." Church sighed, getting up to leave. "Come on O'Malley."

"Omega? I do not believe I am mistaken, but-"

"The whole point of you coming to Ponyville was to fit in." Church interrupted with a shrug, turning to look at him. "Looks like you've already found your place here. I mean, the dangers in here clearly need to step their shit up if they even hope to touch you."

"Interesting proposal." Delta said slowly, thinking to himself. "May I have a few seconds to think?"

"Just try not to think too much about it, okay?" Church nodded.

"Tempting. Stay here and assist Zecora while she tells me what she knows about this world." Delta said quietly. He turned to Zecora and tilted his head to the side. "I would be interested in hearing your input on the matter."

"What you do will affect your future, so it is entirely up to you." Zecora said with a smile. "But know that whatever your choice may be, until the end you must follow through."

"Choice is yours buddy." Church added quietly

"Don't I get a choice in this?" O'Malley hissed.

"I'm going to go ahead and say no." Church smirked. "What would your choice be?"

"To slaughter all of you and bathe in your blood!"

"Thought so." Church muttered, turning back to Delta who was no longer in deep thought. "Made a choice?"

"Yes. I believe I should come with you." Delta said.

"Are you sure?" Church asked. "I mean, you seem to have it pretty good here..."

"I am sure." Delta confirmed, looking at Zecora.

"I guess." Church said resignedly.

"Come, Omega." Delta said as he rose from his seat.

"What?" O'Malley and Church asked together.

"I believe that me escorting you and O'Malley would be the wisest choice." Delta said, keeping his eyes on Church. "O'Malley, while obvious, he-"

"Hey!" O'Malley snarled.

"-still provides a clear and constant threat." Delta resumed. "Once we are more sure of his status and intentions then I will return to help Zecora, after I borrow a few books from the library of course." Delta turned to Zecora. "Does this sound acceptable?" Zecora smiled lightly at him and nodded. "Very well, when O'Malley is settled I will return to bring Theta and Sigma to Church, then I shall come back again and we can conclude our field research."

"You alright with that Theta?" Church asked.

"I think so. Zecora can't be here to help me watch Sig and O'Malley all the time, and I don't think I could watch both of them." Theta said hesitantly, turning to Delta. "But how will Zecora come to us without you here?"

"Everyday I will bring a basket full of fruits for you to eat." Zecora said before Delta could. "When you get hungry, use your magic to go up and grab the treats."

"Is that everything?" Church asked, looking around the catacombs, glad Delta said he would be the one to bring Theta and Sigma. Church elbowed Delta lightly after none of the fragments said anything. "Good. Beam us up Scotty."

"Very well." Delta mumbled. He closed his eyes and his horn flared.

"Have fun." Sigma said, smiling at Church.

Church glared at Sigma, wondering what he meant by his words, but before he could say anything he forced his eyes shut due to the bright green flash of Delta's magic. Church muttered a swear under his breath and opened his eyes to see Delta staring at him curiously, while Zecora kept her eyes on O'Malley.

"Are you injured?" Delta asked.

"No, just warn me next time you try to blind me."

"I did not mean to injure your eyesight, but if I intended to blind you then why would I warn you?" Delta asked, then saw Church staring at him, once again showing him being unimpressed. "Ah, you meant it as a joke."

"Yes, Delta, I meant it as a joke." Church sighed. "Why is it you can do mathematical equations in a quarter of a second, but you can't-"

"In less than one one-thousandth of a second." Delta corrected him.

"What? That doesn't matter, I mean-"

"It matters greatly, actually." Delta disagreed. "Imagine, if you will, a bullet is travelling towards you at speeds of-"

"Alright, I get it, you're fast. Just forget about it."

"That is impossible." Delta said, but then saw Church glaring at him. "Er, memory deleted?"

"Glad to hear it."

"If you deleted memory than why hasn't Epsilon exploded into a fine red mist yet?" O'Malley chuckled. "Perhaps you wanted to give me the honors?"

"Perhaps it would be best if stopped talking and left posthaste, rather than wait for one of you to be turned into a paste." Zecora said impatiently as she began walking away, not liking O'Malley's attitude.

"Good thinking." Church agreed.

"I was about to say the same." Delta nodded, staring at Zecora.

"If anyone is going to be turned into a paste it will be all three of you." O'Malley muttered as Delta and Church followed Zecora to the bridge.

"You coming?" Church asked loudly when they started to cross.

"Yes, just start going without me." O'Malley said, quickly walking up to the start of the bridge. His eyes flickered to the two poles sticking out of the ground, supporting the bridge, and then to the three who were barely halfway. He smirked and lifted his hoof, about to kick the bridge. His smirk disappeared and he spit on the ground, then began to cross the bridge. "They made that too easy."

Once they crossed the bridge they said their farewells to Zecora, while O'Malley pleasantly told her how one day he will have her head on a shelf. After a few minutes they walked out of Everfree and caught sight of Grif sleeping on a cloud floating just near the entrance, Haley curled up on his stomach. She stuck her head up at the sight of the three stallions and began to bark.

"Oh, there you guys are." Grif snorted, still half asleep.

"Were you waiting for us or something?" Church asked, raising a brow at him. "Did Gary do something?"

"Probably, but not that we've noticed." Grif said, tilting his head to them, grinning brightly.

"Tell me about it." Church huffed, glancing back at both Delta and O'Malley.

"Probably going to need your guys's help with that."

"Even O'Malley?" Delta asked, showing a slight look of surprise.

"Never know when you need a double agent." Church shrugged.

"You grabbed both of them?" Grif asked rhetorically. "I didn't think that was the plan."

"Plans change."

"Oh yeah? Tell that to Sarge and try to get him to not try and kill me in almost all his plans."

"Correction, plans that aren't planned by a nutcase can change."

"Correction, you're a nutcase." O'Malley smiled.

"Good point." Church nodded thoughtfully. "Correction, plans that aren't planned by Sarge can change."

"Depending on the situation, I am sure that Sarge..." Delta began, and trailed off when Church looked at him. "We shall just leave it at that."

"Glad to hear it." Church nodded, then looked back up at Grif and Haley. "Is she safe up there?"

"Probably not." Grif shrugged, then put his head back down to sleep.

"If you need us we'll be at the orchard."

"Will Sarge be there?" Grif asked without looking back at him.

"Probably."

"Then anything I need can wait." Grif said, half waving at them. Haley curled back up onto Grif's chest and fell asleep.

"If I was that dog I'd be shitting myself right now." Church shook his head while turning to Delta. "Ready to go to the acres?"

"If it is all the same to you, do you mind if we stop at the library?" Delta asked as he continued walking. "There are a few subjects I'd like to find books of, and perhaps Twilight has them."

"You have any objections?" Church asked and O'Malley opened his mouth. "Of course you do. Let's go."

They quickly changed their path, much to O'Malley's audible protests and threats, and arrived at the library within a few minutes. Delta looked at the door and then to Church, before nodding at him to go ahead.

"Hey!" Church called out as he walked up to the door and twisted the knob. "We decided to grab-" Church was cut short when a ball of flames hit him on his forehead, sending him crashing into the ground, horn singed. Church looked up in a blurred daze, unable to see anything. "What the fuuuuu..." He groaned as his he lost consciousness.

Firing Squad

Church slowly opened his eyes, feeling pain seep into his brain, and glanced around with half open eyes, but saw nothing but blobs. Eventually he saw the outline of a bucket being tipped above him and he suddenly found himself in a worse state then he already was. Bitter, confused, and now soaked to the bone. But the sudden splash of cold snapped some of his sense back.

"He's coming to!" A voice he placed as Twilight said happily.

Church slammed his eyes shut, trying to remember how he ended up in this position. He opened his eyes open a crack, trying to focus on the blobs before him and he instantly saw a rainbow colored mane standing next to what he presumed to be a jackass.

"What was in the bucket?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Well, I don't want to give you the details." Tucker coughed. "But Dash hasn't exactly been providing for me, if you catch my meaning. So I kind of just grabbed this bucket and-"

Church's eyes snapped open and he let out a loud sob, much to Tucker's amusement.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Church yelped, springing out of his bed. "That is disgusting!"

"There he is!" Tucker said, bursting out with laughter. "Hey sleeping beauty."

"Tucker, I swear if this really is-"

"Relax, it's just water." Tucker chuckled as Church shuddered with relief.

Church grunted as pain began flaring in his forehead, he stumbled back to the bed and tried to jump on it so he could slam his head into something soft, but only manged to get the front half of his body onto the bed before collapsing.

"Geez, he really is in rough shape." Tucker sighed, poking Church in the side. "Been eating thirty meals a day there, lard ass?"

"What happened?" Church asked, rubbing his face to get some feeling, besides pain, back into his head.

"We'll leave that for when you get up. I'm just happy to see you weren't seriously injured." Twilight smiled, then flashed a stern look.

"Seriously injured?" Church repeated sarcastically as he hoisted himself up onto his new favorite place and put his face into his pillow. "I'm far beyond that point by now..." Church rolled onto his back and stared up at his horn. "And I swear this thing makes putting your head down excruciatingly irritating..."

"It probably doesn't help that you're all wet either." Tucker said with a toothy grin.

"Come on Tucker, let's let Church sleep." Rainbow Dash said, before looking one more time at Church. She turned to Twilight and raised her brow. "Is he going to be okay?"

"Probably, he's been through worse." Twilight said quietly.

"A lot worse." Church muttered, then he stared at the door in a panic. "Where's Delta and O'Malley?"

"They're downstairs." Rainbow Dash chuckled as she trotted out the door. "Come on Tucker."

"But-"

"Now's not the time." Rainbow Dash said.

Tucker sighed and hesitantly walked up to the door.

"Pussy whipped." Church coughed into his hoof.

"Fuck you dude, you're the king of the pussy whipped." Tucker mumbled.

"Whatever you say." Church said sweetly, then turned his head to look at twilight. "Do you have a towel or something I could use to dry myself off?"

"Sure." Twilight smiled, trotting out of the room.

Church sighed and let the back of his head sink into the pillow, now bitter, confused, soaked to the bone, and tired. He looked out the window and covered his eye from the blazing sun, muttering a few choice words to the one behind it. He heard the sound of shuffling behind the door and began to feel a headache coming on.

"Just come in." Church preemptively grunted.

"Hey Church." Spike said quietly as he peeked through the door.

"Hey." Church said, giving him a small glare. "So I'm guessing you're the one who shot me?"

"Yeah." Spike chuckled stiffly, scratching his belly. "Sorry about that."

"I know you are. Why were you shooting fireballs in the library though?"

"I might be able to answer that one." Tex said from the other side of the door.

"You hired Spike to kill me, didn't you? I knew it all along."

"You're not too far off." Tex said, throwing a piece of paper at Church.

Church unfolded the paper and saw there was a drawing of his face, glaring ahead.

"Do you like it?" Tex asked.

"What's it for?" Church asked in return, ignoring her question.

"Target practice." Tex smiled. "Funny how he hit where he was aiming, just on the wrong target."

"And what do you mean by that?" Church inquired icily, eyes narrowing on her.

"We taped that picture against the door. I was helping him practice some self-defense." Tex shrugged nonchalantly.

"What if someone else opened the door?" Church snapped seriously. He grunted with the pain of his headache and fell back into his pillow. "Why the fuck are you training him?"

"Well no one else is doing it, so I figured someone should. He needs to know how to survive out there."

"And what, become a fucking mercenary?" Church hissed, when the door opened further.

"Sorry for the delay on my part." Twilight said sheepishly as she walked in with a towel on her back, then saw Tex and smiled stiffly at her.

"Yeah, Twilight wasn't impressed either." Spike muttered.

"And for good reason." Twilight crinkled her muzzle. "Perhaps you forgot, but our home is in a tree. Tree's are flammable."

"I know." Spike said, trying hard not to look at Twilight.

"I'm not angry at you." Twilight said, smirking at the impish dragon. "I just try to think ahead of time, okay?"

"Speaking of a head..." Church muttered, mane still soaking the pillow. The sound of hooves clambering up the stairs echoed through his room. "Tucker, I said a head. Not head. A head."

"Aw, dammit." Tucker muttered from the other side of the door, before going back down the stairs.

"Right, sorry." Twilight said, levitating the towel over to Church, who snagged it out of the air and promptly set out to dry his head. "Anyways, what made you decide to bring both of them at once? I asked Delta, but he was more interested in books. Of course, he asked me to help him locate some books and I had to-"

"Yeah." Church coughed before Twilight went further into her tangent. "Well, it was mostly out of convenience. Theta can't watch both O'Malley and Sigma, and Zecora can't help watch them as much as she wants to."

"I see." Twilight said, thinking deeply. "I hope Applejack doesn't mind."

"I hope the town doesn't mind. We're drawing too much attention. Tex came out of the forest without a mark and beat the shit out of three pegasus guys and managed to get away with it. Then Gary came from wherever the fuck he said he came from and became the mayor's assistant. Really surprised our cover wasn't blown there." Church shook his head dumbfoundedly. "But how are we going to explain four more guys with no cutie marks?"

"I'm... not sure." Twilight said honestly. "We just have to keep our heads up and hope for the best."

"Yeah. Hope." Church mumbled under his breath.

"Quit being negative." Tex said, hitting Church on the back of his head, making the pain instantly go up several notches. "She's smart, right?" Tex turned to Twilight and she nodded, then turned back to Church. "See? Quit being a baby. I'm sure Twilight can think of something."

"But there isn't enough time to think." Church groaned as he rubbed his neck. "And even if there was we'd need several reasons, because I doubt they'd believe the same excuse more than once."

"What did I just say?" Tex asked, raising her hoof at him.

"I swear to god if you-" Church began, then felt pain shoot through his entire body when Tex hit him. "God dammit, ow!"

Oscillation

"So this is it?" O'Malley asked, casting a pleasant gaze over the forest. "Yes. Yes, this seems to be most flammable indeed."

"What's your obsession with fire now?" Church asked as he walked through the gate.

"It's not an obsession. It's really more of a hobby." O'Malley sighed happily.

"Do not worry about him, Epsilon." Delta said, stepping in line with Church, matching his speed. "As I said, he has no means of making fire."

"I know. It's just that he never shuts up." Church muttered, looking back at O'Malley who was following at his own, slower place, taking time to admire the scenery that he could burn down in an hour. "Maybe we should stitch his mouth shut."

"If anything that would make him more violent and would have to act on his thoughts rather than talk about them." Delta said quietly.

'What did you say?" O'Malley asked boldly, not having paid attention.

"We're talking about how much we hate you." Church said loudly.

"Oh." O'Malley muttered. He smiled. "In that case I hate you too."

"Glad to hear it." Church muttered as they reached the door to the farm house. "Now remember, don't fuck up."

"Would I ever do that?" O'Malley asked.

Church rolled his eyes and gave the door a few knocks, then stood straight. Applejack opened the door a few seconds later and her eyes shot to O'Malley, and then to Church, giving him a clear look of suspicion.

"Hey AJ." Church nodded.

"Hi." Applejack said quietly, looking at both Delta and O'Malley.

"Yeah, sorry about no short notice or anything." Church said sheepishly, turning to look at them. "Really short notice."

"What's wrong with your head?" Applejack asked.

"Never mind that, Spike shot me in the head with a fireball." Church shook his head.

"What?" Applejack asked quickly, the mistrusting look in her eyes vanishing instantly. "Are ya alight? Did it-"

"Thanks, but I'm fine." Church assured her.

"Come on in, we should probably get ya'll introduced to the family." Applejack said as she pulled the door open and stepped to the side.

"Go on." Church said to the others.

"I like this place." O'Malley said quietly as he walked in.

"You do?"

"Yes, it looks to be made out of old wood. Very flammable."

"What did he mean by that?" Applejack asked warily as he passed her and began looking at the few portraits on the wall.

"I assume he means that he'll threaten to burn your house down." Church said with a strident laugh.

Applejack's eyes shot to O'Malley, watching him as he picked up one of the portraits and examined it.

"Try not too worry too much." Church said and grunted, slamming his eyes shut as he reached for his head.

"Ah don't think your heads workin' at one hundred percent." Applejack said quickly, reaching out for him in case he began to fall.

"I'm okay." Church groaned as the throbbing in his head passed. He smiled weakly at her. "It's just a migraine. The past few weeks have been stressful."

"Tell me about it." Applejack said testily, obviously referring to Gary.

"Heh." Church coughed awkwardly. "Uh, hey Applejack?

"Yeah?"

"I never really thanked you for this." Church sighed, waving Delta in.

"For what? Keepin' th' fragments here? It's no big dea-"

"No, it is. You didn't have to do it, and I'm sure you are regretting it. I mean, how could you not, right? You're basically housing psychopaths. You're risking your safety and the safety of your family to help."

"Well, better here then somewhere with access t' th' direct public." Applejack shrugged, then stared at Delta who took the portrait away from O'Malley and placed it back in place. "Ya'll needed help, and with all this space it woulda been wrong of me to not take them in."

"I wish I could be that trusting." Church sighed. "I should probably get back just in case what I have isn't only a migraine. Do you think you'd be alright?"

"Ah have Big Macintosh an' Sarge t' help out. Ah guess now Delta too." Applejack laughed. "Ah think ya need t' slow down a bit. Don't worry about us, we can handle ourselves."

"I know." Church nodded, then looked inside. "Delta?"

"Do not worry, I will put my attention on whomever Applejack decides I should watch." Delta said, watching O'Malley's every move.

"Good." Church said as he turned and began walking away. "See you later Applejack."

"See ya." Applejack said tipping her hat slightly, then closed the door to turn to the AIs. "Alright you two, front an' center."

Delta instantly walked up to her while O'Malley turned to her and scoffed, before resuming his examination of the house.

"O'Malley, get over here, need t' have a word with you both."

"I can hear you just fine over here." O'Malley grunted.

"O'Malley, it would be best not to insult her by not listening to her." Delta said, not looking at O'Malley. "You may not like it, but you have to be respectful."

"Oh? Says who?"

O'Malley became surrounded by a green mist and snapped to Delta's side, held in place by Delta's magic. Delta simply stood still, listening attentively.

"I will find a way to kill you and when I do your death will be slow and painful." O'Malley vowed. "It really will."

Delta ignored O'Malley's threat and nodded at Applejack.

"Thank ya kindly." Applejack said with a thin smile.

"Not at all."

"Let me go this instant!" O'Malley commanded, struggling to break free of his bonds.

"It won't take long." Applejack said. "Th' only thing ah wanted t' tell ya was-"

"I understand your family is the main thing you focus on and I will do my best to help keep the others in line so they do not come to harm." Delta nodded.

"Thanks." Applejack nodded slowly, not liking having been interrupted.

"Ha, she's already tired of you!" O'Malley boomed.

"Can ya...?" Applejack nodded at O'Malley.

"Certainly." Delta said, closing O'Malley's mouth.

"Thanks." Applejack smiled as O'Malley glared at Delta, then began walking into the next room. "Come on, we should probably let th' others know ya'll are here."

Delta nodded and walked into the next room, bringing O'Malley with him as he continued holding him. They walked into the kitchen and saw Sarge sitting at the table with Big Mac and Applebloom.

"Hello Sarge." Delta said with his usual, formal tone.

"Green." Sarge nodded, then looked at O'Malley seriously. "Change of plans?"

"Yup." Applejack sighed, taking a seat at the table, then motioned towards it.

"Somethings different about you." Sarge muttered, staring at O'Malley who was glaring furiously at Delta. "I'm liking it." He laughed when O'Malley yelled something in a muffled voice. Sarge put his right hoof up to his ear. "What was that? You'll have to speak up." Sarge rolled his eyes when O'Malley's face began turning purple. Sarge tutted and looked at Delta. "Might want to let him breathe."

"Right." Delta said quickly, releasing O'Malley instantly.

"That... was very... rude..." O'Malley panted, gasping for air.

"I apologize." Delta said quietly.

"Good to know he can get suffocated." Sarge grinned. "I'll have to remember that."

"Who're they?" Applebloom asked curiously, taking a bite out of her apple.

"Green one is Delta, red one's Omega, but we call him O'Malley." Sarge muttered.

"Oh, okay." Applebloom nodded slowly. "Are they related t' Gary?"

"Why would you think that?" Sarge asked.

"Well, neither of 'em have a main or a tail." Applebloom shrugged.

"They're related in a way." Applejack said.

"Are they as strange as Gary?"

"That depends what you mean by strange." Delta said quietly. "His vocal oscillation is flat, so you could be referring to that, or you could be referring to the fact that he does not have a cutie mark, which I can only assume was explained to you. Or perhaps you refer to the fact that Gary regards people and ponies as shisnos, which is a term you are unfamiliar with. Is the fact that he is strange referring to any of those points? If so then I would say no, because my vocal patterns sounds a lot more natural and refined, I have my cutie mark and I refer to people with respect."

"Uh." Applebloom blinked dumbly. "Ya lost me at oscimitation."

"Oscillation." Delta corrected her. "Oscillation refers to how ones voice fluctuates, and Gary speaks in monotony."

"Yup. You're strange." Applebloom nodded, but smiled as she did so.

Warning Signs

"I am strange?" Delta asked, looking strangely at Sarge.

"A bit." Sarge chuckled, looking at Applebloom. "Don't worry about Green. He may talk a lot, but that's pretty much all he can do. Don't have to worry about him fighting anything."

"Actually, I-" Delta began, trying to explain the forest situation.

"Can do math." Sarge shrugged, unimpressed. "Yeah, yeah, we already have Simmons for that."

"I can assure you that I have a higher degree of understanding of-"

"Really?" Sarge asked dubiously. "What's twenty-eight times four-hundred and fifty-six?"

"Twelve thousand seven hundred and sixty-eight." Delta said instantly.

"Woah, are you a calculator?" Applebloom asked quietly.

"Hang on, we still need to check with Simmons to make sure he's right." Sarge grunted.

"What's thirty-five times thirteen?" Applebloom asked.

"Four hundred and fifty-five."

"Seven by two hundred and twelve?"

"One thousand four hundred and eighty-four."

"Wow." Applebloom smiled. 'What about-"

"Enough of this!" O'Malley yelled, kicking a chair over, but Delta grabbed at and set it upright before it fell to the ground. O'Malley's eye twitched and he glared at everyone surrounding the table. "I am tired of you incessant fools!"

"You're free to leave any time you want." Sarge murmured.

"I am?" O'Malley asked confusedly, believing himself to be a prisoner of circumstance.

"No, he is not." Delta answered.

"Right." Sarge scowled. "I guess we're stuck with him."

A series of small, seemingly sporadic knocks came from the front door. Applebloom hopped out of her chair and galloped towards the door to answer it. The ponies in the kitchen heard the door open, followed by a series of hushed words.

"Is it th' girls?" Applejack asked loudly.

"Damn it, now she knows our secret knock!" Scootaloo huffed from the other room.

"Damn it?" Applejack echoed, raising an eyebrow at Sarge. "What'd ah tell ya about usin' swears around the girls?"

"Hey, damn isn't a swear." Sarge said innocently.

"Actually, damn is widely considered to be a swear word." Delta said passively. "This is mostly due to beliefs and-"

"Yeah, well, shut it." Sarge mumbled. "I liked that word..."

"Course ya did." Applejack rolled her eyes, knowing she'll have to talk to both Sarge and the girls at a later time. She turned to Delta and coughed. "Ya'll will be stayin' in th' barn next t' this here house."

"Are you telling me this because you wish to inform me, or because you want both O'Malley and I out of the room?" Delta inquired.

"A bit of both." Applejack said honestly.

"I see. Come Omega." Delta said, rolling off the chair.

"You're not the boss of-" O'Malley began, but was soon surrounded by the same green mist, which held his mouth firmly shut.

"Remember that he needs to breath." Sarge said in a fake and forced sweet tone.

"If these ponies have the same respiratory rate as humans, which I believe they do, he only has to breath every three to five seconds." Delta said from the doorway, temporarily releasing his grip on O'Malley's mouth.

"-me!" O'Malley said as he took a deep breath.

"He is learning." Delta noted, then closed O'Malley's mouth once again.

Delta walked out the front door and saw the Cutie Mark Crusaders had gathered at the edge of the orchard, examining one of the trees. Delta dropped O'Malley to the ground, giving him the courtesy of bringing himself to where they were supposed to go. O'Malley grudgingly followed Delta to the door of the barn and opened it with his magic. Delta hesitated, looked back at the farm house and tilted his head.

"What are you staring at?" O'Malley asked impatiently. "If you are going to make me stay here, at least don't block my path."

"I believe I need to speak with Applejack." Delta bowed his head apologetically. "I assume you can walk in there on your own?"

"Of course I can!" O'Malley snapped, glowering at Delta as he walked away. "I'm not a fool like-"

"What's forty times seven?" Scootaloo asked from behind him, making him freeze.

"Th' green one is th' caltulator." Applebloom sighed.

"What's he then?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"He's th' angry one."

"Huh?" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo said together.

"Besides Church." Applebloom added.

"Oh, okay." They smiled.

"Oh, I'm much more than angry." O'Malley said quietly, turning to the barn.

"What do you mean by that?" Applebloom asked.

"Trust me when I say you do not want to find out." O'Malley said, waving off the question icily as he walked towards the barn. "Now don't be even more of a fool than you are already being by annoying me further."

"We're not that bad, are we?" Sweetie Belle asked, trotting in front of him. "Rarity says that stallions sometimes see mares as annoying, but she said most of the time it was because they're the annoying ones."

"Leave me alone." O'Malley warned them, slowing his pace.

"Why?" Scootaloo asked with a laugh. "We just want to get to know you."

"You would regret that choice within seconds."

"You can't be that bad." Scootaloo said with another small chuckle. "If you were as bad as you say, you would have done something by now, but you haven't!'

O'Malley snarled and threw his hoof at the barn door, slamming it shut. The girls jumped back and yelped when O'Malley glared back at them.

"The reason I have not done anything is because you provide no sport seeing how easy it would be to overpower you." O'Malley hissed as he pawed at the ground like a bull that was readying to charge. "But that does not mean I will hesitate to squish each of your heads like a watermelon if you continue to test what little patience I have for you fools."

"I th-think we should listen to him." Sweetie Belle stuttered.

"I think you should listen to your small and squishable friend." O'Malley nodded, eyes still a lit with rage, kicking the door again, breaking some of the planks.

The Crusaders gulped and fled from the angry stallion, who watched with a bemused smirk as they stumbled away. O'Malley looked to his right and saw Sarge glaring at him.

"What are you looking at?" O'Malley asked coldly.

"You." Sarge muttered, walking towards him. "Delta's talking with Applejack and I felt you shouldn't be left alone."

"I don't need some test subject watching over me." O'Malley said when Sarge was two feet in front of him. "That's right, I know all about you being a simulation trooper. Quite sad if you ask me."

"I didn't." Sarge grunted at the slight, then smiled thinly at him. "But who better to watch a simulation than me?"

O'Malley growled and jumped at him, left foreleg extended. Sarge grabbed his foreleg and slammed him into the ground, winding him. O'Malley rolled around the ground, groaning in pain until Sage put his right hoof on his stomach.

"I'll get you back for that!" O'Malley grunted. "Even if I did start it..."

"You're a disgrace to your color." Sarge laughed as he began walking away. "Leave the girls alone if you know what's good for you."

"That's racist, shisno." Gary said sweetly as he came out of the barn and Sarge stared back at him. Gary looked at O'Malley and smiled as he trotted up to him to help him up. "Omega, my old friend! Just the fragment I wanted to see."

"Get off of me." O'Malley grunted, shrugging off Gary to climb off the ground by himself. "If I needed your help I would ask for it."

"How rude." Gary huffed, but smiled coyly. "Perhaps I should file a complaint against you. After all, I am the mayor's assistant."

"Well done on that, you serve one of your hated shisnos." Sarge said, laughing cruelly and O'Malley soon joined his laugh.

"Why are you laughing with him? But you hate him!" Gary pouted, then shivered fiercely. "You're not one of them now, are you?"

"Hardly." O'Malley muttered, no longer laughing.

"Then why were you laughing?"

"It just so happens I hate everyone equally." O'Malley shrugged. "Unfortunately, you're one of everyone."

"Fine then, no fun for you." Gary sighed, turning towards the entrance to the acres. "I need to go to work."

"Tell Mayor Shisno hello for me, will you?" O'Malley chuckled, before walking into the barn to inspect it as Gary shook his head annoyingly.

Special Help

"Well?" Sarge asked after a few minutes of waiting for O'Malley, who was silent while he examined the interior of the barn.

"It's horrible in here. Whoever put this together clearly didn't have any thumbs." O'Malley grunted loudly.

"They didn't."

"I rest my case." O'Malley huffed, stepping out of the barn, dusting his hooves off on the grass. "Tell me, are there any small animals I could kill to get this awful feeling out of my stomach?"

"Not until we find some use for you, now come on." Sarge said, walking towards the tree that the Cutie Mark Crusaders were inspecting.

"The stench of fools hangs in the air here." O'Malley said as he sniffed the air, then winced. "I don't like it."

"Unfortunately you don't have to like it, you just have to hit this tree and knock the apples down." Sarge said, knocking on the tree lightly. "The girls were supposed to scope out this tree for me, but since you scared them off I need to make sure this tree is easy enough for you to bring down."

"You want me to hit a tree... to bring down the apples?" O'Malley asked, lifting his lip in disgust.

"Yup." Sarge said passively. "If it makes you feel any better you can pretend the trees are Grif."

"That does make it a little better." O'Malley nodded slowly. "Still not quite the same as the real thing."

"You can say that again." Sarge mumbled, then shook his head and pointed at the tree.

"I see..." O'Malley said as he looked over the tree. "So this is what it's like, hm?"

"What is what like?"

"Being at rock bottom." O'Malley chuckled, turning his head to the left to look at Sarge.

"I'm far from rock bottom." Sarge disagreed.

"Oh really?" O'Malley asked, casting a curious eye over Sarge.

"Just get to your damn point." Sarge said impatiently.

"You used to be something." O'Malley said simply, but Sarge stared indifferently at him. "A leader of your own squad. Granted, it wasn't a real squad, but you still enjoyed commanding. Now look at you. You're nothing more than a petty farmer."

"We're all prisoners of circumstance here." Sarge shrugged.

"Of course. That's why you've been watching the Blue this entire time, correct? Keeping your friends close and your enemies closer?" O'Malley inquired, but Sarge didn't reply. "Oh, that's right, you haven't been watching them. You've been staying on this farm the entire time, perfectly content picking apples. Tell me, why the change of heart? Do you like the Blues now?"

"God no, I'm just busy training a new squad of soldiers." Sarge smirked. "Besides, we all need a vacation every now and then. Might as well have one that involves working."

"Pathetic and delusional." O'Malley nodded slowly. "May I suggest killing yourself? Or better yet, hire someone to do it for you. You should be happy to know that I'm free for the next couple hours."

"Just hit the damn tree." Sarge growled.

"Oh, did I strike a nerve?" O'Malley asked, beaming at him when Sarge continued glaring. "The old fool finally sees the truth. You're an old warhorse, quite literally now, and a foolish one at that." Sarge rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to shut O'Malley up, but O'Malley cleared his throat and frowned slightly. "Could the reason you're so accepting of this place of foolish ponies be that you found yourself useless back where you actually were something?" O'Malley laughed when Sarge began approaching him. "Never got the respect you sought, lied to for years, never actually beat the Blues at anything during that time."

Sarge bucked the tree lightly and several apples fell from the tree and hit O'Malley on the head. O'Malley grunted and began rubbing his head, but kept a smile the entire time.

"Kick the tree." Sarge murmured, going back to his original position to watch over O'Malley.

"Not unless you give me a better reason."

"I know you have to breathe to live for one."

"Resorting to violence?" O'Malley asked with mock fear.

"O'Malley's doing some crazy shit out here, mind holding him in place for a few?" Sarge asked loudly, facing the farm house.

"What are you-" O'Malley began, but soon found himself unable to speak. He glanced down and saw the green glow around his body.

"You going to cooperate?" Sarge asked and O'Malley reluctantly nodded. "Good." Sarge sighed, turning back to the house. "Thanks Green, we're good out here."

"That..." O'Malley began as he fell to the ground.

"Was very rude, got it." Sarge finished with a hoarse laugh, before pointing at the tree. "Now kick the tree."

"Fine." O'Malley huffed.

"Fine." Sarge nodded.

"Fine!" O'Malley snapped as he got off the ground, approached the tree and quickly lifted his back legs into the air.

O'Malley slammed his back hooves into the tree, but rather than the sound of apples hitting the ground, there was a loud cracking noise. O'Malley turned around to examine the tree, but what he saw was not a full tree. It was a stump. O'Malley raised his gaze to look ahead and saw dozens of large chunks of splintered wood, as well as dozens of apples, most of which had pieces of wood piercing through them.

"My name is O'Malley, bring downer of apples!" O'Malley yelled happily, stomping on one of the few apples that were whole. "Bow before my strength and aptitude for farming delicious orbs!"

"You destroyed the damn tree." Sarge grunted, looking at the apple massacre.

"No need to thank me, fool! I already know I'm the great-"

"You weren't supposed to break the tree though." Sarge interrupted him harshly.

"You never told me that. You told me to bring down the apples." O'Malley muttered, motioning towards the branches and bark. "I did."

"Now the Apple family can't use that tree again." Sarge sighed, scratching the back of his head.

"Why not?" O'Malley asked.

"Because you killed it."

"Oh." O'Malley said hesitantly as he looked at the chunk of wood again. He then smiled. "My name is O'Malley, feller of trees and murderer of flora!"

"Shut up, dammit." Sarge grumbled.

O'Malley giggled maliciously as Sarge collected the scraps of the tree, kicking them into a large pile. Once all the pieces were together, Sarge quickly separated the few good apples from the many destroyed ones.

"You're good at this." O'Malley chuckled. "I'm sure the mares are all over you for being so good at sorting apples."

"You'd be surprised." Sarge smirked.

"So what are you going to have me do now, hm?" O'Malley asked, kicking one of the rotten apples next to Sarge. "Pick flowers? Perhaps bake a cake?"

"No, I have something much worse planned for you." Sarge smiled thinly at O'Malley

"Worse than baking or cooking?" O'Malley asked, raising his brow. "Now I am curious."

"Hell, it could be both of those."

"How do you not know what you're going to get me to do?" O'Malley asked slowly.

"Because I'm not the one who's going to decide what you're going to be doing from here on out." Sarge sniffed, walking towards the gate of Sweet Apple Acre. "Come on, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you."

"He?" O'Malley paused behind Sarge. "Why aren't you the one who's going to do it? Lost the willpower to do it? Or is it because it's not farming?"

"You want to make this difficult?" Sarge asked as he stopped by the gate to stare at O'Malley. "Well I'm game. It's going to a whole lot more difficult for you starting now." Sarge said, then looked towards Ponyville. "We're going to get some help, and I have no doubt what he's going to make you do is going to be so mind numbingly painful for you that you'll beg to kick trees."

"And who is going to do that?" O'Malley asked, but Sarge didn't challenge him. He simply smiled. O'Malley narrowed his eyes nervously at Sarge. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would." Sarge chuckled as he began trotting towards town. "Sugar Cube Corner, here we come."

Crossed Eyes, Cross Stallion

"Please reconsider this idea." O'Malley begged, grabbing onto Sarge's hind legs as he walked up to the door.

"You had your chance." Sarge laughed, kicking O'Malley off of his legs. "Besides, it won't be that bad."

"It won't?" O'Malley asked hopefully.

"Nope. It'll be worse." Sarge said with a large grin, before knocking on the door loudly. "Hey Caboose, you in there?

"Yes? Who is it?" Caboose asked from upstairs.

"If we leave now we can still make it!" O'Malley said, pulling on Sarge's hind legs again. "If you let me leave I will make your death as painless as I can at the time when I take over this world."

"Depends, are you going to try making that weather machine again?" Sarge asked.

"...I haven't thought that far ahead." O'Malley said quietly.

"Caboose, get out here. I got you a gift!"

"Oh boy, I love gifts!" Caboose yelled and the sound of hooves slamming against stairs came from inside.

O'Malley let go of Sarge and began slowly walking backwards as the sound of Caboose got louder and louder. The door shot open and O'Malley yelped, turned around and began to run, but he was tackled to the ground and slammed his chin into the ground.

"O'Malley?" Caboose asked as he got off the floor. He turned to Sarge and looked at him with a look of confusion. "Where is the present."

"It's O'Malley." Sarge muttered.

"I will feed him everyday!" Caboose cooed as he hugged O'Malley's stomach.

"Fine, both of your deaths will be long and painful." O'Malley said as he shifted his eyes from Sarge to Caboose. "Perhaps it will involve barbed wire and lemon juice. Or maybe I'll make you watch the Howard Stern show."

"I will name him Bleep!" Caboose gasped.

"I'm enjoying this already, how about you?" Sarge asked with a rough laugh. he looked back at Caboose. "Listen Blue, I need you to find something for O'mal-"

"Bleep."

"Right, I need you to find a job for Bleep. I don't care what it is."

"Can you tell the future?" Caboose asked as he smiled brightly at O'Malley.

"Yes. You will feel the highest amounts of pain and beg for death." O'Malley growled, lifting his lip to bare his teeth.

"Well that doesn't sound fun." Caboose said, rubbing his chin. "Can you make food?"

"I could shove you in an oven and try." O'Malley suggested.

"I don't know, that sounds awfully warm..."

"Don't try anything O'Malley." Sarge sighed. "Could kick your ass any day of the week."

"Did you see what I did to that tree?" O'Malley laughed.

"You didn't see what he did to Carolina." Sarge smirked. "Besides, Caboose has a higher kill ratio than you. Probably because you spend all your time talking and not enough time doing anything."

"Yes, well... shut up... fool!"

"Uh-huh. Good luck with him Caboose. Don't rough him up too bad." Sarge said, patting Caboose on the back as he began walking back to the farm.

"Okay!" Caboose chirped happily, grabbing O'Malley by throwing his left foreleg around his neck. "Come Bleep, we have a world to save!"

"Excuse me?" O'Malley asked groggily as Caboose dragged O'Malley forward.

"Gummy told me how to make a rocket ship, so we're going to try and find aliens in space and fight them before they drink our blood!" Caboose exclaimed as he punched the door open with his other hoof.

"Please, what is it made of? Paper-mâché?" O'Malley began laughing, but was cut short when he saw the plans for a rocket plastered over every surface of the bakery. "What..."

"They're the plans for the rocket!" Pinkie laughed, coming out of the kitchen with blueprints on her back and a pirate hat on her head. She stopped and tilted her head at O'Malley, then she looked at Caboose an her look became dead serious. "Corporal Caboose, who is this?"

"A friend." Caboose whooped as he put on his eye patch. "Private Pinkie, where is Captain Gummy?"

"In the back." Pinkie said slowly, eyeing O'Malley cautiously. "Why is he here?"

"Sarge gave me him as a gift!"

"Well it would be rude to not accept a gift." Pinkie nodded. "How are you at flying rockets?"

"Me? I'm not." O'malley muttered, but his eyes quickly went from the plans and then to Pinkie. "But I'm a fast learner."

"DO you have any experience with machinery?" Pinkie asked, now walking around O'Malley, occasionally prodding him.

"Er, a robot and a machine to control the weather." O'Malley said, flinching whenever she hit him.

"I see. Well we have been having problems with our weather machine, so maybe we could get you to check that out later." Pinkie said thoughtfully.

"You have a weather machine?" O'Malley asked with surprise, but it quickly turned to concern. "What were you planning to use it for?"

"I dunno." Pinkie said honestly.

"Well you don't just build a weather machine for no reason." O'Malley grunted.

"Who told him about the weather machine?" Caboose asked hastily, tackling O'Malley to the ground. "Brigadier Bleep, are you a spy?"

"No, I am not a spy. But Brigadier?" O'Malley laughed darkly.

"You aren't a Butt Brigadier, you're only a regular one."

"I see. I seem to have escalated the rank quickly."

"Nope." For Pinkie's Privater Party Patrol, the ranks are as follows; Brigadier, Corporal is equal to Private, except on Wednesdays when Butt Brigadiers hold their weekly barbeque, then they toss a coin to see who gets control for that day, and then Captain is first."

"That seems deliciously idiotic." O'Malley said sarcastically.

"Thanks." Pinkie smiled, then stuck out her hoof. "Welcome aboard Brigadier Bleep!"

"Er, thank you." O'Malley said quietly as he quickly shook her hoof and trotted towards the kitchen impatiently. "Now, where is your rocket? In the backyard you said?"

"Yup. But we have Brigadier Derpy guarding it at the moment. So no funny business until we find out you aren't a spy." Pinkie said as she hopped next to him.

"And when you fools find out I'm not a spy?" O'Malley asked.

"Then you can have as much funny business I want." Pinkie giggled.

"Then I can have open access to your weather machine?"

"Mhm. But only after you've proven useful and not a spy."

"I see. How do I do both of those things?" O'Malley muttered.

"For the first one you have to be useful by... um..." Caboose started, then began scratching his head.

"Being useful?" O'Malley finished.

"No, that's not it." Caboose shook his head. "You have to be useful."

"I... see." O'Malley said, eye twitching with annoyance. "And what about not being a spy?"

"That's classified information." Pinkie said as she silenced Caboose by holding her hoof over his mouth. "Trying to get information makes you suspicious."

"Good to know." O'Malley muttered as they reached the back door. "Have you finished nailing this thing together with wood? And how many does it fit?"

"Wood? No it's not made out of wood, that would be bad for the trees." Pinkie said as she pushed the door open, letting the suns glare shine into O'Malley's eyes making him close them. "It's made out of Tungsten!"

O'Malley rubbed his eyes and looked away from the shine to look at the rocket. Not a tall rocket by any standard, it being only forty feet tall. It was extremely pink with blue stripes and a green finish, and there were several windows scattered around it.

"Want the tour?" Pinkie asked, already at the door of the rocket.

"I think I'm safer out here." O'Malley said. How come I didn't see this on my way in? On that, how come it seems none of these- oh right, they're probably oblivious idiots.

"Alrighty, suit yourself!" Pinkie shrugged as Caboose put gummy on his head and went into the rocket. "We have fifty-eight and a half seats in there."

"It would be stupid to ask what the half seat is for, so instead I will just say why so many seats?"

"Well if the test works out then I will make this a moon tour!" Pinkie said. She gasped and jumped into the rocket. "I should ask Luna if there are any cool places to visit!"

"Mhm." O'Malley grunted, then glanced over to see a gray pegasus sitting next to him, staring at the rocket dumbly. He looked at her flank and saw bubbles, then scoffed. "Who are you?"

"I'm Brigadier Derpy." Derpy smiled. "So you're that new recruit I've been hearing about, huh?"

"Er... yes?" O'Malley asked quietly. "I mean yes, I am. Brigadier O'Mal-"

"Brigadier Bleep!" Caboose yelled from the middle of the rocket.

"That isn't my name!" O'Malley snapped.

"It is if you want to come into this rocket!"

"I don't want to." O'Malley muttered, shaking his head at Cabooses mental deficiency.

"Too late, no take backs!"

O'Malley closed his eyes and bit his tongue, hesitant to insult one who has access to a weather machine that he could potentially use. He relaxed and looked at one of the windows to see Caboose staring at him. O'Malley gave him an extremely reluctant nod.

"Brigadier Derpy, give Brigadier Bleep a hug, he seems sad!" Caboose said, disappearing back into the rocket.

"Don't do it." O'Malley said, pushing Derpy away as he sat down to watch the rocket.

"But-"

"No. Just no. I don't want to catch what you three have."

"What do we have?"

"A meager amount of active brain cells." O'Malley muttered.

"Is meager a lot?" Derp tilted her head and smiled.

"Sure." O'Malley rolled his eyes and stared at the rocket. "So does she own this place or what?"

"I don't think so." Derpy said curiously. "Mr. Cake runs the place with Mrs. Cake. They just let her do her thing."

"Hmm." O'Malley grunted as he rubbed his chin, then looked up to her hat. "And what is your hat for?"

"I'm the mailmare."

"Of?"

"I go where I'm needed. When I get called upon, I act upon, for delivering mail is my calling. When an old mare needs her medicine, I'll be there to deliver it. When a colt needs a wheel for something, I will be there to give it. When I need a muffin, I bring it to myself. Be there blizzard, thunder shower or hurricane, I will be there to deliver." Derpy said dutifully, saluting to no one in particular. "I don't just work for Ponyville, I work for Equestria. But I'm not the mailmare Equestria needs, I'm the mailmare Equestria deserves."

"Doesn't say much of their needs of a postal service." O'Malley noted.

"Oh, and what is that supposed to mean?" Derpy asked, unfurling her wings.

"Nothing." O'Malley chuckled.

"Any spies out there?" Pinkie asked as she slammed open the window on the rocket ship.

"I don't know, I think Brigadier Bleep might be one." Derpy muttered.

"What? No I'm not! How dare you even consider that!" O'Malley said quickly.

"Okay." Pinkie smiled, then closed the window. "Are all systems go?"

"Yes! No, wait. What is this blinking light?" Caboose asked.

"That's not a light, that's a button, and it-"

"Oh boy I love buttons!" Caboose screamed.

The sound of horns wailing erupted from Sugar Cube Corner, making O'Malley slam his hooves over his shriek and bellow a threat at the sound. O'Malley looked at the rocket and smoke began bellowing out of the bottom, filling the area around Derpy and himself in a thick, gray mist. The rockets then came on and fire shot out of the bottom, lifting the rocket off the ground. O'Malley watched in awe as the rocket flawlessly floated into the air. It suddenly shot forward and within seconds it disappeared from his sight.

"Well that was fun." Derpy giggled as she patted O'Malley on the back, then walked into Sugar Cube corner. "Come on Bleep, this call for a celebration!"

"It actually worked." O'Malley blinked dumbly. "And if that worked, then the weather machine must be near completion."

"Yeah, there's just a few kinks left in it. That Gummy sure is an inventor. And nobody would have found out until Caboose put him on his head."

"What? Why?"

"When Caboose puts Captain Gummy on his head they can talk to each other through their minds." Derpy said, looking around shifilty as she leaned in closer to him. "Legend has it that together they form a being called the Great Destroyer, and their power can rival that of the Royal Sisters combined!"

"Well that's enough mild stupidity for today." O'Malley muttered, temporarily forgetting the weather machine as he began walking away.

"Sorry, but I have direct orders to keep an eye on you." Derpy said, running in front of him.

"By who? I was with you the entire time and heard no such thing." O'Malley growled, trying to push past her.

"Corporal Caboose did." Derpy said, pushing him back. "Well, Captain Gummy told corporal Caboose to tell me that before you got here."

"Right, now's the part where I tell you to leave me alone." O'Malley sighed a he walked around her. "Leave me alone."

"Sorry, I'm going to have to follow you to make sure you don't snoop around."

"Do what you wish as long as it doesn't involve talking with me."

Derpy nodded and began hopping after O'Malley, flapping her wings with each flap, sending her flying a few extra meters with her jumps. O'Malley stopped and looked around the front of Sugar Cube Corner and saw nobody in sight. He looked behind him to see Derpy had stopped hopping and was hiding behind a box, watching him carefully. O'Malley trembled, wanting to do something about this pest. He then thought about all the technologies Gummy could have produced with Caboose, so he put the thoughts of violence temporarily to the side. Those could come later. O'Malley turned back around and began to walk around Ponyville, getting the feel of the area to make plans for the future. Like where each of his thirty-two gold plated statues would go.

"Wow, that sun sure is hot, huh?" Derpy asked after ten minutes of walking as she squinted at the sun.

"Mhm." O'Malley murmured, annoyed that his plan would have to wait. "Why don't you do the world a favor and continue staring at the sun until your eyes melt out of your head?"

"How would that be doing the world a favor?" Derpy asked, keeping her gaze on the sun as she followed O'Malley.

"Well for one it would be doing me a favor, then I would do the world a favor by not telling anyone."

"But why wouldn't you tell anyone? Eye melting doesn't happen everyday!"

"The world can be cruel, hm?" O'Malley inquired as they reached the town's fountain. "Not enough eye melting, too many annoying horses trying to get along with you."

"Aw, you're not that annoying." Derpy said, then shook her head. "If I saw somepony's eyes melt I would tell everypony! Wow, that sure would be something to see. I hope it wouldn't hurt them though. Do eyeballs grow back?"

"We could find out." O'Malley said, stopping by the fountain. He glanced around quickly. No ponies were in the area.

"No thanks, I don't want to try it on you." Derpy chuckled. "What if it did hurt?"

"Well you could laugh."

"I guess, but that's not very nice." Derpy sighed, stepping next to O'Malley to look at his reflection. "Y'know, you seem really familiar."

"That's my reflection, you fool." O'Malley grunted.

"I know that, I mean you look a lot like that Neighoming guy who moved in town a short while ago." Derpy said quietly.

"Neighoming? Sorry, I don't know any-" O'Malley stopped and turned to her, recognizing the familiarity. "What does he look like?"

"Well, like you... except you look stronger... and he's yellow." Derpy said, then looked around nervously before leaning in to whisper. "And he has a really strange voice. Like really strange. And neither of you have cutie marks."

"I see..." O'Malley muttered, staring back at his reflection.

"Actually now that I think about it..." Derpy said slowly, squinting at O'Malley like she did to the sun. "That's been happening a lot recently. There was another pony that came to town a bit ago who didn't have a cutie mark when I met him. His name was Church! And then there was that one who beat up those meanie pegasi..."

"Was her name Tex?"

"So you do know her..." Derpy said slowly. "Where are you staying right now?"

"That is none of your concern." O'Malley said icily, walking away from the fountain.

"Whoopsies, sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude." Derpy said quickly, looking back at the fountain. She took off her hat and began flapping it in front of her face to cool off. "You should take a break since it's a really hot day though, are you sure you should be walking around non-stop?"

"Because I have matters to attend to." O'Malley growled, looking back at how she was standing by the fountain, completely defenseless. He looked around again. Still no witnesses. He smiled darkly and began walking towards her. "You're right, I should break something."

"Who said you should break something? That's just silly." Derpy laughed, letting go of her hat. "I was just saying it was really hot."

"Then why don't you go for a swim?" O'Malley snarled, jumping towards Derpy.

"Whoops, dropped my hat!" Derpy laughed, lowering her head to the ground to place the hat back atop her head. A large splash came from beside her and she glanced over to see O'Malley trying to stand up. "What are you doing in there?"

"Oh, just going for a delightful swim." O'Malley said sarcastically, slipping back down.

"But you're not supposed to swim in the fountain." Derpy giggled, then glanced around, eyes unable to focus on the same thing. She then looked at her reflection in the fountain to make sure her hat was in place. Satisfied, she looked up at O'Malley. "How does it look."

"Fantastic." O'Malley muttered, climbing out of the fountain. "It looks so fantastic that I wish I had a hat that looked like it."

"We can't just give anypony this hat." Derpy shook her head, thinking he was serious.

"Darn, well I guess we have nothing more to talk about." O'Malley said, then stopped. "Say, do you know where town hall is?"

Tag Team

"So what are you doing at the town hall? Going to see Neighoming?" Derpy asked after a minute of leading O'Malley.

"I suppose, just keep quiet and bring me there." O'Malley muttered, staring ahead.

"He's a weird one, but I guess he's nice. His jokes are a little corny though, but at least he's trying or something, right?"

O'Malley would have remained silent had it not been for an annoyed groan he let out for having to be stuck with this pony. O'Malley glanced to his right and saw a familiar cerulean pegasus darting through the sky. O'Malley groaned and picked up his pace, passing Derpy in a hurry, not risking the chance of being spotted.

"Why are you going so fast?" Derpy asked as O'Malley darted ahead.

"Just going for a nice jog, no reason to worry. Now do you mind using your legs for their intended use?" O'Malley asked loudly, but turned his head and kept trotting forward. Before I break your legs and feed them to you. Muahaha.b

"Well if you're really short on time..." Derpy said quietly.

O'Malley began to turn around to ask what she said, then he felt something grab onto him. He then realized that even though he stopped moving his legs, he actually began going faster. And the ground began going smaller. O'Malley glanced up and saw Derpy staring ahead, determination in her eyes, tongue out of the side of her mouth.

"What are you doing?" O'Malley yelled in confusion. "Put me down this instant."

"Didn't you want to get there fast?" Derpy asked staring down.

"Yes but I wanted to get there in one piece!" O'Malley snapped when he saw a small, wooden stand dead ahead. "Watch where you're going!"

"Sorry." Derpy said, barely dodging past the stand. "Don't worry, we just need to cut through the market district and I'll have you there in no time!"

"Do you promise?" O'Malley asked sarcastically.

"I swear on my badge." Derpy said, putting one hoof over her heart, and using her other to salute. She soon realized she had let him go, then grabbed him out of the air before he hit the ground. "Sorry again!"

"Who would give you a badge?" O'Malley asked.

"I made it myself." Derpy smiled.

"You have got to be kidding me."

Derpy shook her head,, reaching under her hat with her left wing, making them fly in clockwise circles for a few seconds. She lowered the badge and held it in front of O'Malley. It was a small, circular pin with a picture of a poor;y made muffin on it, as well as the acronym 'MR'. Derpy placed the pin back under her hat and continued using both wings to fly, setting her back on the right path. O'Malley's stomach was now in a knot. Both from the way the flight was going, and how disgustingly happy she seemed to be.

"Did you see it?" Derpy asked as she barely dodged yet another stand.

"Unfortunately, yes." O'Malley muttered sickly.

"Glad you like it!" Derpy said, staring down at him with a large grin.

"What?" O'Malley asked with a rough laugh. "I never said I-"

"Watch out!" A voice yelled out.

Those were the last words O'Malley heard before he crashed into one of the larger market stalls. O'Malley laid in the wood and debris for several seconds, simply staring at the sky. He knew something like this would happen, and his hatred for the annoying gray mare continued growing, much to his liking.

"Sorrysorrysorrysorry." Derpy said quickly and sadly as she helped O'Malley off the ground. She was saying it both to O'Malley, and the pink mare that owned the small shop.

"Just forget it." The Pink mare groaned as she began slotting the pieces back together. "I should have my shop back up soon, don't worry."

"Don't worry? Don't worry she said!" O'Malley scoffed, glaring at Derpy. "How can she not worry? She nearly killed... well, never mind that. She could have hurt me!"

"Yeah, that's something we've all come to accept. Most of the shops here have invested in easily dismantled stands. Makes our lives easier." The mare sighed, looking at O'Malley who was now running away. "Where's he going?"

"Bleep, wait up!" Derpy yelped, darting after him. Thanks to her wings she quickly caught up with O'Malley, but this time she didn't pick him up. "Where are you running off to?"

"I do not wish to interact with any fools I don't have to." O'Malley said simply as he continued ahead.

"But they're nice..."

"Is this the right way to town hall?" O'Malley asked.

"Yeah, but-"

"Good to know." O'Malley said, now pressing himself to run further and faster. "As bad as you were, thank you for being my guide. Now can you please leave me alone?"

"I don't know, I think I should come with you still." Derpy said, smiling brightly at him.

"Do you like games?" O'Malley asked as he came to a screeching halt.

"I love games!" Derpy nodded vigorously.

"Good, then how about tag? I'll be a sport about it and be it this round." O'Malley said, forcing a weak laugh.

"Okay, but no cheating."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"Okay, go!" Derpy yelled, darting the opposite direction.

"Good thing she's as stupid as she looks." O'Malley chuckled, heading towards town hall, but at a much slower pace.

Within a few minutes O'Malley saw town hall and sped himself up a tiny bit, no longer wishing to be in the open. O'Malley pushed the door open without knocking to see Gary sitting at a desk, wearing small reading glasses. his forelegs were crossed on the table and he was smiling at O'Malley as if he was expecting him.

"Where's the Mayor?" O'Malley asked hesitantly.

"Out of town on business." Gary said, smile unwavering. He motioned towards a seat in front of his desk.

"I'll stand." O'Malley sniffed, but walked next to the chair. "Who knows how many fools sat on that chair."

"Shisnos are a dirty breed." Gary agreed. "How may I help you on this fine day? I don't suppose you've reconsidered joining me."

"I don't give a damn about your plan, I demand you give me a job suitable for a fragmented, artificial-intelligence turned pony of my stature!"

"And why would I want to do that?" Gary asked curiously.

"It's horrible here, and as much as I hate you, I hate everyone else a smidgen more." O'Malley shuddered. He glanced out the window and adorned a harsh glare when his eyes found a pair of mares, walking with each other, talking happily. "At least you, like me, detest these simpletons. I'm not saying we have to work together, I'm simply requesting that you accept it would be slightly less unbearable having to listen to these fools without someone you can trust slightly."

"You always did have a way with words." Gary muttered. "Tell me, why shouldn't I just turn you into that godforsaken shisno, Sarge?"

"You wouldn't." O'Malley hissed in anger.

"Oh? And why not?" Gary retorted. "Since you're not accepting my offer you're of no use to me. These shisnos seem to appreciate each other, but they're having a difficult time trusting us. If I did turn you in their trust in me would grow."

"Liar! You and I both know that they wouldn't because they know that we're driven by our main aspects and they think that means there is something wrong with us." O'Malley groaned, then kicked a chair over. "Well I say something is wrong with them!"

"Which is why I need you to join me. Together we could rule these shisnos with no problems." Gary said, extending his hoof over the table to O'Malley.

"Why don't you wait for Sigma?" O'Malley huffed.

"Why would I do that?" Gary sighed, placing his hoof back on the ground. "Sigma will have too much attention drawn on him. Possibly more so than both of us combined. His history is more dangerous than ours."

"I find that offensive."

"You understand what I mean. You can hurt them, and I can lie to them, but Sigma can break the shisnos. Their will, their mind, their spirit. He gets in their head without literally getting in their head."

"But what about when I helped you with Alpha?"

"Both of us had to work together then to break him down, but Sigma could have done it on his own. He's probably still sore at us for separating him now that I think about it." Gary shook his head. "But that's exactly what I mean. You helped me. Just like I'm inviting you to help me once again."

"But I demand to be in charge!"

"We both know how your plans work when you're in charge." Gary chuckled, but moaned when O'Malley began walking towards him, flexing himself. "Please, you won't do anything."

"Won't I?" O'Malley asked, throwing the desk off to the side. He threw himself at Gary's hooves and hugged his right foreleg. "Please give me a job. I don't want to have to work with anyone!"

"Fine, if that's what you need. I think they'll be suspicious of us though."

"They'll always be suspicious of us." O'Malley said seriously.

"Good point. That's the sort of thing we should come to accept. Being not trusted is something all politicians learn." Gary noted, extending his hoof again, but this time O'Malley shook it. Gary smiled warmly. "Welcome to the town hall."

Taxing Queries

"What's the first order of business?" O'Malley asked, taking a seat in Mayor Mare's chair.

"Getting you settled." Gary said as he lightly pushed O'Malley off of Mayor Mare's chair.

"What do you mean?" O'Malley asked with a yawn. "Don't tell me you're going to assign me somewhere in the city."

"No, I am simply going to write you in the books as a citizen of good standing." Gary huffed. He opened Mayor Mare's desk and reached into it and pulled out a small, leather-bound book. He put it on the desk and opened it, then began slipping through the pages. "Here we are. New resident. What is your name?"

"You know it." O'Malley mumbled.

"Formalities and regulations tell me I have to ask you that."

"You're listening to their laws?"

"Until it suits me me not to." Gary shrugged, then pulled the book an inch closer. "Now, your name?"

"O'Malley."

"Come now, you can choose any name you wish." Gary insisted testily. "I would suggest something less conspicuous."

"No foolish mark, no hair on my boy, and you're telling me to not be conspicuous?" O'Malley scoffed, rolling his eyes. "It does not matter what my name is, just as long as I have one that doesn't change."

"Good point." Gary sighed, writing O'Malley's name down in the book. "Age?"

"Perhaps if I say I am several hundred years old, these idiots will believe I am immortal!" O'Malley said, laughing darkly.

"Twenty-eight it is." Gary said, writing in the book again. "Profession?"

"Super villain?" O'Malley proposed.

"You might need something better than that." Gary muttered, tapping the quill against the book.

"I see." O'Malley said, pausing to think for a few seconds. "Super mega villain?"

"Smaller. Perhaps something nonthreatening."

"World leader." O'Malley said with a small smile.

"Better, but I think you should move away from the whole ruling thing." Gary said, rubbing his temple.

"You decide what I do then if it's so damned important!" O'Malley snapped irritably

"How about evil custodian?" Gary suggested seriously.

"Evil custodian?" O'Malley asked, raising a brow. This made Gary rather annoyed, and O'Malley saw this. "I'm trying!"

"No. You're not." Gary disagreed. "Look, you're not getting the point. It has to be something a shisno could handle."

"Like?"

"I don't know, the only shisnos I've seen do anything are the Mayor and the Apples." Gary sighed, looking around the Mayor's desk0.

"How about between jobs?" O'Malley asked. "That way when people ask me I can say that, because I'm working here temporarily until a position of power opens up. Because it's true! Nobody will expect the truth!"

"Good enough." Gary grunted, eyeing the page he was on. "The rest is unnecessary information, so we can just say that you'll fill the rest out later when it's required."

"What if that fool of a Mayor shows up?" O'Malley inquired hesitantly.

"You haven't even met her yet..." Gary said quietly.

"Are you saying she isn't a fool?" O'Malley asked, brow piqued.

"No more so than any other shisno." Gary chuckled. "Besides, she's a politician. She won't show her hand until we're all in."

"I see." O'Malley examined the book. "So this has every resident of this town, hm?"

"Yes. From All Aboard, the town's resident train conductor to Zippy, the near blind mail delivery stallion."

"Ah, so it does have the idiotic mail service ponies." O'Malley said, leaning over the desk. He then lunged onto the table, trying to grab it. "Give it to me."

"Why?" Gary asked, pulling it away from him.

"I have a score to settle with one of the ponies here."

"Already? And only one?" Gary said, laughing sarcastically. "You are a miracle worker. That's why I need you to listen to my plan."

"Give me that book and I will help you!" O'Malley hissed, grabbing for the book again.

"Intriguing offer." Gary said thoughtfully. "Who are you looking for?"

"A horse named Derpy or something equally offensive."

"Ah yes, she is the accident prone one I've been hearing so much about." Gary chuckled bemusedly, turning the chair around to open a filing cabinet. He flicked through it idly, then pulled out a thick folder and threw it on the table. "Damages to the city, complaints about being late, damages to others, damages to private property. She had a rather large file. It'll be tough for you to beat."

"I'll beat that record later, for now I just have to take her out of the way." O'Malley snarled as he snapped the file off the table to look through the info. "Lived in Cloudsdale, moved to Ponyville, had dozens of jobs..."

"Then given mail delivery by the city to prevent damages." Gary smirked, leaning back in the chair. "But that didn't stop her. If you do somehow manage to take her out of the way, her legacy will remain."

"I'll beat it." O'Malley vowed.

"I know you will. I simply think it'll take time. And as long as she's around, it will be difficult for you to be feared."

"Did your plan entail me killing her?" O'Malley asked curiously as he finished flipping through the folder.

"No, because you were not going to strike fears in others."

"Then what were you going to have me do? Plant flowers?" O'Malley laughed harshly.

"We've been over this, these shisnos are an unpredictable bunch in a way. Sort of annoying." Gary shook his head in disappointment, then smirked at O'Malley. "I won't tell you any of my plan unless you accept it."

"If you tell me where that infernal pegasus is I will agree to anything." O'Malley growled.

"Hm. First you need to prove you're willing to work for me." Gary said as he grabbed the folder and the book and put them away.

"What would you have me do? File taxes?" O'Malley scoffed.

"Not quite. Though it does involve taxes, it also involves something that suits you rather well." Gary chuckled, pulling out a form from a separate filing cabinet.

"And that is what, exactly?"

"Tax collector." Gary said, pushing a sheet towards O'Malley, who glanced at it curiously. "That is a list of places that owe money to the town. It will be up to you to get the money from them."

"By any means?" O'Malley asked, beginning to smile brightly.

"Well, the town says you shouldn't." Gary said, and O'Malley's smile turned into a sad frown. "But it doesn't say you can't."

"Lovely." O'Malley said sincerely, grabbing the form. "Where shall I begin?"

"Wherever you please. You could visit the bigger ones to intimidate the smaller ones. That would make it easier on you. Or you can do it the way I predict you will and pick on all the small shisnos. It won't be easier, but it will be more fun."

"Say no more." O'Malley said, folding the form on the table, then began looking for a place to store it.

"Hold on." Gary said, walking towards a closet by the front door. "You will need something to hold that, as well as perhaps something to cover up your lack of a mark. Maybe some tools of persuasion."

"Tools of persuasion?" O'Malley asked gleefully, running up to the closet. "Are there blowtorches in there? Perhaps a hacksaw?"

"No, none of that." Gary chuckled, throwing a pair of bags with a leather strap connecting them at O'Malley. "Use that to cover up your behind."

"What about the tools of persuasion?" O'Malley asked, slowly putting the bag on his back.

"Here." Gary said, tossing a badge and a pair of dark glasses to O'Malley.

"These are tools of persuasion?"

"Yes. Not having a mane will work in your favor. Shisnos fear change, as well as things that look different. Now I may not have a mane, but my voice does not instill any ill feelings. Yours is stronger. Hiding your eyes will intimidate them, and the badge shows you have power." Gary said, closing the closet shut, but not before grabbing another piece of paper. "Here is a map to the town, major locations are written out on it. Try not to lose it, we don't have many."

"Very well. These fools will come to realize my power soon enough. For I am O'Malley, the feller of trees." O'Malley said as he put the map in his bag with his badge. He stared at the door and slowly put the glasses on. "Collector of taxes."

Friendly Faces

"So which of these plebeians will I go after first?" O'Malley asked as he examined the records of all unpaid taxes.

"The choice is one hundred percent yours." Gary said happily, glad to have brought O'Malley closer to his side.

"I feel like a child at a candy store!" O'Malley said gleefully, clutching the sheet to his chest. "Except instead of a kid it's a violent sociopath. And instead of a candy store it's a list of victims!"

"Indeed."

"I will use this list and I will find each and every one of them. Each one of them will know my name, but none will tell anybody else about me lest they feel my wrath."

"Uh-huh." Gary said slowly.

"I will be a sight to behold!" O'Malley vowed with determination. "The town will tremble and quake with the mere mention of taxes."

"I get it." Gary said, growing impatient.

"And then I will-"

"Omega, please." Gary coughed, pointing to the door.

"Very well." O'Malley coughed innocently, then began walking towards the door. He opened the door quietly and wlked outside, taking a deep breath. "I will be back after I've visited a few of them. Don't want to exhaust my supply of punching bags in one day."

"As long as you bring in one payment I don't care what you do." Gary smiled. "Just as long you enjoy doing it."

"And I will." O'Malley boomed. "Next time you see me I will be-"

Gary rolled his eyes and slammed the door shut, and the sound of the door closing silenced O'Malley. O'Malley let out a low curse, but brightened up when he read the sheet over. Once he had picked his target he put the paper back in his bag, and while he was doing so he grabbed the map and checked where they were. Once he had that settled, he placed the map in his bag and readjusted his sunglasses so they sat perfectly over his eyes, then he set off towards the upper market district. O'Malley skipped along pleasantly, happy to be doing something that involves threatening. Once he arrived at the market district he began looking at the signs above each shop, looking for the one on the map.

"Omega, is that you?" Rainbow Dash asked from a few dozen meters above.

"Oh no." O'Malley moaned, then snapped towards the market district.

"Hey, get back here!" Rainbow Dash darted after him.

O'Malley took every turn he could, going down every alleyway, but Rainbow Dash was quickly catching up. He then caught sight of a familiar gray pegasus hiding behind a box, peering around a corner. O'Malley hollered and Derpy spun around, shocked.

"You're it!" O'Malley yelled, jumping over her, clipping her shoulder with his back hoof. "No touch backs."

"Darn it." Derpy said sadly, then instantly saw Rainbow Dash shooting down the alley towards her. "Hey Rainbow Dash!"

"Not now Derpy." Rainbow Dash said, flapping faster now. "I'm sort of in the middle of something."

Derpy tackled Rainbow Dash out of the air and began laughing, chanting that Rainbow Dash was now it. Rainbow Dash watched helplessly as O'Malley looked over his shoulder and laughed maniacally before turning around the corner. After a few minutes of waiting, O'Malley was satisfied that he had lost her and that she had given up. He picked his head up and began stalking around the market, remaining on guard just in case she appeared while he searched for the store. Soon he saw the store he had picked. The sign above it was an open book with a quill next to it. According to the sheet, the manager owes the city a hundred bits.

"Hm, now how should I do this?" O'Malley asked as he began walking towards the shop. "Should I open with threats? Or should I play good cop then suddenly-violent-and-evil cop?"

A loud noise came from behind him and he jumped straight up, thinking it was Rainbow Dash. He checked behind him and jumped next to the building, trying to get out of her sight. He looked up after a few seconds and glanced around edgily. Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen.

"Why am I paranoid?" O'Malley chuckled nervously. "That pegasus cannot harm me. I can topple trees for crying out loud. Heh. Crying. Hehehe. Out loud. Teehehehehaha. Murder. MuwahahahahahahAHAH-"

"Hey, are you alright?" A white unicorn with strange glasses asked concernedly.

"What do you care?" O'Malley huffed.

"I don't really, just wondering why you were laughing in an alley by yourself." She laughed. "Nice shades."

"Er, thank you." O'Malley said quietly, watching her cautiously as he pushed his glasses further up face.

"New to town?" She asked, and O'Malley nodded slowly. She smiled and extended a hoof. "Thought so. Name's Vinyl."

O'Malley's eyes shifted, recognizing the name to some degree. He then remembered she was Tex's friend.

"Listen, why don't you get out of this alley. I'm sure you wouldn't like that sorta rep around here." Vinyl chuckled.

"Very well." O'Malley nodded and walked out of the alley. "Now if you don't mind, I have business to attend to."

"No problem. I should get going anyways." Vinyl said, walking away, then stopped. "What'd you say your name was?"

"O'Malley."

"Huh. Cool name." Vinyl chuckled. "Catch you around O'Malley."

O'Malley nodded and watched as she walked away. When the coast was clear, he walked up to the door of the building and stalked up to the window and peered through. He instantly saw an old, light-blue stallion cleaning a large table with a rag. His cutie mark was a saw cutting through wood, and his mane and tail was ice blue and was short and messy.The stallion scrubbed one of the corners until it was shinning to his satisfaction.

"Ah, the classic entry it is." O'Malley grinned darkly, knocking on the door.

"Come in." The stallion chipped happily.

"Me?" O'Malley snarled as he kicked the door off it's hinges. "I'm your worst nigh- wait, you didn't ask who I am..."

"W-why did you kick down my-"

"Tell me your name, then ask me who I am!" O'Malley demanded.

"I'm Wood Cutter. Who a-are you?" The old horse grunted fearfully when he saw O'Malley's sunglasses and angry disposition.

"Pleasure to meet you Wood Cutter. I am your worst nightmare." O'Malley smiled, then let out a violent scream.

Wood Cutter watched as O'Malley continued his war cry while he began throwing chairs against the walls. O'Malley galloped up to the recently polished table and jumped over it. Then O'Malley dropped his body on the table, braking it in half.

"What are you doing?" Wood Cutter asked, now completely fearing for his life.

"What do you think I'm doing? You owe money and I'm collecting!" O'Malley snarled as he stomped on a wooden footrest, shattering it into a million tiny pieces. "For I am O'Malley, feller of trees, collector of taxes and now breaker of wooden obje-"

"M-my taxes are paid!" The old satllion whimpered, slowly backing up against the wall.

"They are?" O'Malley asked, taking off his glasses to show his eyes to the stallion. Once their eyes met O'Malley closed the gap between them. "Look me in the eyes and say that. And don't you lie to me!"

"I paid my taxes." He whimpered.

"That's not what this document says!" O'Malley snarled as he reached into his bag and threw the form at the stallion. "What do you have to say now, hm?"

"I'm n-not on here." The Stallion whispered with relief.

"Excuse me?" O'Malley asked.

"My name. I-it isn't on here, see?" The stallion asked, holding up the piece of paper.

"Hold on." O'Malley hissed, running through the doorway.

"Okay." The stallion nodded feebly.

O'Malley looked at the building to the left and saw a sign above the shop. It was the bookstore sign he saw earlier. He then looked above the one he was standing outside of and saw another sign, but this one was a log of wood with a saw halfway through it. He slowly walked back to the stallion and gently grabbed the piece of paper and put it back in his bag. The stallion flinched when O'Malley turned to him and opened his mouth.

"Tell nobody and I will grace you with full use of your legs." O'Malley nodded curtly as he put his glasses back on, then walked out without any other words.

Favorable Outcome

O'Malley walked to the next building, but this time he double checked to make sure he wasn't at the wrong address. When he decided this was the right place, he checked through the window. No pony was in sight. Smirking to himself, O'Malley opened the door and began looking around the shop. There were just as many tables as the furniture store, but the tables were lined with hundreds of books. O'Malley grabbed the one closest to him and began flipping through it.

"First aid for fillies." O'Malley shuddered, a few horrid memories returning to him.

O'Malley tossed the book back on the pile and began thinking what he could do to the store owner if they did not give him their money. Breaking the tables was out of the question. If he was going to do this, he had to be sure he didn't do the same thing twice, lest they come out with unbreakable furniture. He stared at one of the books and smiled crookedly at it. He snapped it up and opened the book until both the front cover and back cover were touching, crinkling the spine of the book. He chuckled morbidly as if he had just committed a major crime, then put it back in it's place. He looked towards the opposite end of the room and saw another door, as well as a desk with a bell on it in front of said door. He trotted over to the bell and gently rung it three times.

"Be out in a moment." A mare said with a singsong voice on the other side of the door.

While he waited to belittle the mare, he looked at his reflection on the bell, making sure he was approachable enough that way they would find out just how unapproachable he is when they approached him. Bag? Straight and orderly, but not perfect. Sunglasses? Firmly in place where it made them look recreational. Smirk? Pleasant with tones of sadism. Perfect. The door opened and a ruby-red mare with a myrtle-green mane and tail walked in, smiling at O'Malley. O'Malley smiled back.

"How may I help you?" She asked after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"Oh, in many ways." O'Malley chuckled, eyeing her over. Her cutie mark was a feather. O'Malley believed this to be a sign of weakness. "Though I don't think you could help me with many of them."

"Okay..." The mare said quietly, wondering why he was here.

"You are the proprietor of this business, correct?" O'Malley said coolly after a few minutes, walking up to one of the tables that was lined with books.

"Yes, that's right." She nodded slowly, eyes resting on his sunglasses.

"And business owners do generally pay taxes, hm?" O'Malley asked, glaring back at her, but she could not see this due to the glasses.

"I guess so." The mare shrugged.

"She guesses so!" O'Malley scoffed, taking the badge out of his bag. "You see this? I am here to collect your taxes! Fear me, for I have near full control of your life until the point you pay back your-"

"Right. I have the bits right here." The store owner laughed as she pulled out a rather large coin purse and brought it to O'Malley.

"Oh." O'Malley grunted, weighing the bag, judging how much was in it. Unbeknownst to the store owner, O'Malley didn't know how much an individual bit made. Of course he wasn't going to tell her that. "Feels a little short."

"It's not." She smiled warmly, but her voice was slightly angry. "One hundred bits all accounted for. I quadruple checked. But I suppose if you don't believe so then you can count it.'

O'Malley sneered at her and opened the bag, then looked into it and began counting. He counted to four and got bored, so he threw the bag in his backpack.

"So am I good?" The mare asked, raising a brow at him.

"I suppose." O'Malley nodded.

"Great." She smiled, sincerely this time. "I have to go do inventory now, so if you need anything else..."

"No, I've received what I came her to get." O'Malley mumbled.

"Have a nice day." The shop owner smiled, then walked into the next room.

O'Malley sighed sadly and looked at the chair next to the door. He slowly walked up to it, lifted his hoof above it then stomped on it. He then kicked several large pieces of chair off to the side and walked out of the door. O'Malley pulled out the paper as well as a pencil that was in the bag and checked off the book store. He glanced to his right and saw Wood Cutter staring at him fearfully through the window. O'Malley lifted his sunglasses and squinted at him. The old stallion then moved away from the window. The angry tax collector nodded to nobody in particular then began walking towards his next destination.

"O'Malley, I need to talk to you!" A familiar, tomboyish voice called out from behind him.

O'Malley, sparing no time for the rainbow maned mare whom he knew was the source of the voice, began sprinting down the road, not wanting to hear what the cyan pest had to say. He had smaller and more squeamish fish to fry.

"Stop running!" Rainbow Dash yelled, darting after him.

"No, you!" O'Malley barked as he slowed down to turn a corner.

Rainbow Dash slammed into O'Malley, sending him and his bag flying into the air. O'Malley slammed into the ground, then threatened it under his breath, vowing to torture the ground until it begged for death.

"Sorry about that, I just needed to-" Rainbow Dash began, but saw all the bits that were scattered on the ground. "Woah, did you rob a bank or something?"

"Hardly. I'm working for the city now." O'Malley muttered, trying to get up. "I was going to collect more taxes before you so rudely knocked me over.

"What about that whole Derpy thing, huh? Nevermind, I just want to talk to you for a sec, okay?" Rainbow Dash said, pinning him to the ground.

"Unfortunately I don't want to listen." O'Malley said, spitting at her, but the spit didn't reach her and fell back down on his face. "Curse you gravity..."

"Are you going to at least try and listen?" Rainbow Dash asked impatiently.

"Do I have a choice?" O'Malley inquired flatly.

"Not really."

"Then get on with it you fool." O'Malley sighed in defeat.

"Okay." Rainbow Dash said, taking a deep breath. "There isn't really anybody else I can talk to right now, what with the whole you and the others thing taking up everyone's attention."

"What about the one you've been spending all your time with. Fucker, was it?"

"No, he wishes." Rainbow Dash chuckled, then gulped. "But that's who I wanted to talk to you about. Him and I are... well, I'm not really sure what we are, and I-"

"What the hell do you think I am, a damn relationship counselor?" O'Malley groaned, throwing Rainbow Dash off of him, but she recovered midair. "Why are you coming to me for this?"

"I need you to find out if he really likes me, or if he's just seeing me as a challenge or something." Rainbow Dash said quietly. "I mean, I think he likes me right now, but I want to know if it started as a challenge for him. And I don't know, kinda just wanted some input."

"The only input I'm willing to give is me putting my hoof in your spine." O'Malley grunted then smiled. "I should write that one down."

"Uh-huh." Rainbow Dash sighed as he scribbled some words down on the back of the form. "So are you going to help me or not."

"I think the answer to that was obvious." O'Malley rolled his eyes. "What's in it for me?"

"Depends, what do you want?"

"Fourteen hundred gallons of blood!"

"I don't think I can get you that." Rainbow Dash shuddered in disgust.

"Then move out of my way. I have some peasants to harass." O'Malley murmured, pushing past her.

"How about I owe you a favor?" Rainbow Dash asked quickly and regretfully.

"Intriguing offer. Any favor I wish?"

"As long as I don't have to hurt anypony." Rainbow Dash nodded slowly. "And I mean any kind of hurt. I don't want to embarass somebody too badly..."

"Even if it's somepony that deserves it?"

"By that do you mean you think they deserve it, or others think they deserve it?"

"Both." O'Malley smirked.

"Okay, but I reserve the right to decide if I don't want to do anything to them." Rainbow Dash said, extending her foreleg.

"Fine, but only because I'm sure you'll enjoy it." O'Malley said, shaking her hoof abruptly. "Meet back here in, say, six hours?"

"Deal." Rainbow Dash said, darting off.

"I thought that fool would never leave." O'Malley sighed with relief, happy she was gone for now. He then picked up the bits and checked the map again. "Ooh, this one owns an aquarium. What fun!"

Blue Lies

"I'd say I'm fitting into this job nicely." O'Malley chuckled as he walked out of a store and brushed off some feathers from his back. He looked back into the store and coughed.

"So sorry for the trouble, it won't happen again." An old mare said sincerely.

"If I hear either you or your pillows owe any more taxes it won't just be a pillow fight again, it will be a pillow slaughter!" O'Malley barked.

"Understood." The mare nodded, closing the door behind him.

"I hope this day never ends." O'Malley grunted as he readjusted his backpack which was full of coins. "Though I might have to return this bag before it breaks my back."

O'Malley arrived at town hall several minutes later, taking longer than he normally would have due to his legs and back being sore. He walked up to the door and kicked it, but to his disappointment it didn't fly off it's hinges, instead it simply flew open and slammed into the wall. O'Malley then stumbled in and sat on the floor, letting the backpack slide off of him.

"Ah, you're back!" Gary chuckled, jumping out of his chair to greet him. He saw the bag fall over and watched as bits began pouring out. "Looks like you completed the list in one day."

"Hardly. That's probably only a tenth of the list." O'Malley muttered tiredly.

"I don't recall them owing that much." Gary noted.

"Well they may have given an advance on their next few payments." O'Malley laughed darkly. "There may even be a few bribes in there."

"Ah, a rousing success!"

"Yes, their fear arouses me as well." O'Malley grinned.

"What? I said- never mind that." Gary shook his head, then smiled. "Well it's nice to hear you're doing so well at it."

"Out of curiosity... if I damaged property does the city have to pay for it?" O'Malley asked.

"Yes, but I wouldn't worry about that." Gary said as he dragged the bag into the next room and poured it on the floor to sort trough later. "The shisnos are scared of you so they most likely would not want to upset you."

"Good point." O'Malley said as he got off the floor to stretch his legs.

"Going back out already?" Gary inquired. "But you just got back. Take a break."

"The wicked get no breaks, so according to that logic I get negative breaks, so I must break others to even it out!" O'Malley boomed, then coughed awkwardly as he put on the bag for cover. "In other words I've got other interrogations to attend to."

"Really?" Gary asked contemplatively, watching as O'Malley opened the door. "I thought every shisno you visited in town paid you."

"They did. Do you doubt my tax collecting abilities?" O'Malley growled harshly.

"Not at all." Gary muttered, walking next to him. "But then who are you interrogating?"

"The rainbow fool hired me to talk to the blue fool named Tucker. And as long as I put someone in pain, who am I to judge to what end it achieves?" O'Malley asked.

"Tucker." Gary echoed in anger, instantly recalling Tucker stabbing Wyoming through the back with the key. "Very well. Take the rest of the day off and go with my blessing."

"I wasn't going to ask for it." O'Malley muttered as he walked outside.

"Well tell him Gary says hello." Gary said quietly, then slammed the door shut behind him, much like nearly every pony he collected from did.

O'Malley cleared his throat and yelled a warning as he began walking back to the marketplace, priming himself for the interrogation. As he entered the market, gasps came from the nearby merchants and they shrank down, avoiding O'malley as if he was the black plague. Music to O'Malley's ears. He skipped happily, humming a song of violence and bloodshed until he came saw Rainbow Dash standing edgily in front of the furniture store. O'Malley breathed int his hoof and smelled, making sure his breath was minty and murder fresh. Satisfied, he walked next to Rainbow Dash, who was looking the other way, and coughed, making her jump upwards in surprise.

"Don't sneak up on me like that." Rainbow Dash groaned.

"Sorry. Oh wait, no I'm not." O'Malley chuckled darkly. "Now where is Tucker right now?"

"He's, uh, in that alley." Rainbow Dash coughed before pointing to the gap where he had met Vinyl.

"What's he doing in there?" O'Malley asked dubiously, looking her over.

"I don't know, he just is." Rainbow Dash said testily.

"Very well, no need to be angry." O'Malley said.

"You're one to talk."

O'Malley shrugged and laughed as he walked into the alley. His laughter died when there was no pony in sight. He walked to the middle of the alley, checking behind each box in case he was hiding, but he was nowhere to be found.

"There you are." Sarge muttered, coming into the opposite entrance of the alley.

"What are you doing here?" O'Malley hissed, backing into Big Mac who had blocked the entrance he had come through.

"Luckily this competent Blue told us about you walking around town." Sarge laughed, looking at Rainbow Dash.

"You're still trusting Blues I see." O'Malley scoffed. "Seems my words were correct, hm?"

"She has red in her hair." Sarge corrected him, then glowered at him. "Now where's Caboose?"

"Caboose?"

"Yeah, on my way back to the farm I saw a rocket flying through the air coming out of town and instantly thought of you. Low and behold I went to go talk to see Caboose and he didn't answer. Went around out back and saw that the ground had scorch marks on it and you were nowhere to be found." Sarge said, acting surprised. "Simmons was busy, so I went to Dash here instead."

"Clever. Well you found me, well done. Now what are you going to do?"

"Ask you how you managed to build a rocket in the fifteen seconds after I left."

"You think I made that?" O'Malley chuckled, shaking his head. "Then you are more foolish than I originally believed!"

"Then why were you running away from Dash when she tried to talk to you?" Sarge asked.

"Because I was working."

"You were working?" Sarge asked, entirely unconvinced. "Who would hire you? And to do what? Bore people to death?"

"No, I work for the city collecting taxes from those that are late with their payments." O'Malley smiled, but it fell slightly when he looked at Big Mac. "Turns out your little family owes a tiny sum as well, but I felt being gracious with the ones who are currently housing me. The only reason they haven't been chased before is because those that live here know that Granny Smith is one of the longest living residents of Ponyville, so they give her a bit of leeway. Hypothetically, since I do not consider her a friend, I could seize her property in the name of Ponyville."

"You're lying." Sarge said, but turned to Big Mac and saw a grim look on his face.

"Also, if they didn't pay their fees within a certain amount of time the city would be able to tear down their land and build whatever they want here, so if you wish to insult me, go ahead. Just let it be known that you would be the cause of making your family lose their home." O'Malley couched innocently.

"I'm good." Sarge said quietly, stepping to the side.

"That's good to hear." O'Malley agreed as he walked past Sarge. "Now if you don't mind, since you so willingly wasted my time, I would like to go for a walk. Collected a lot of taxes and broke a lot of woodwork, so now my legs are killing me as much as I'd like to be killing you all right now."

The trio watched as O'Malley walked out of the alley, head smugly lifted from his victory. He then turned the corner, leaving the three alone.

"Why didn't you tell me you owe money?" Sarge asked Big Mac.

"Never came up." Big Mac said truthfully.

"Don't mean to sound inconsiderate or anything, but am I done here? Tucker will be kinda annoyed if I don't show up since he's working both of our shifts right now." Rainbow Dash said sheepishly.

"Yeah, thanks for the help." Sarge muttered.

"No problem." Rainbow Dash smiled as she trotted past him.

When she exited the alley she unfurled her wings and flapped once, when something tapped on her shoulder. She turned to see who did it and saw O'Malley glaring at her, sunglasses behind his ears.

"I won't forget about your little lie anytime soon." O'Malley said quietly as he began walking away, but kept his sight on her. "Don't think that just because you don't owe any money I can't make your life more difficult. You've made an enemy that won't soon forget."

Red Truths

"A wild goose chase!" O'Malley snapped, kicking open the door to the town hall.

"Excuse me?" Gary coughed awkwardly.

"I went to go see that womanly blue pegasus, and-" O'Malley stopped mid-sentence when he saw a mare sitting at the other desk who had wavy gray hair staring at him. "Who is that?"

"That's the Mayor." Gary said tightly, eyes shifting from O'Malley to Mayor Mare, silently willing O'Malley to be respectful.

"Ah." O'Malley grunted, then bowed awkwardly. "It's good to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you as well." Mayor Mare nodded, smiling curiously at him. As she looked him over she felt he looked extremely familiar. "O'Malley was it? Our new worker?"

"Er, yes." O'Malley said. Gary eyes widened and tilted his head violently towards Mayor Mare. "I mean yes ma'am."

Mayor Mare smiled pleasantly at him, instantly admiring his respectful tone.

"What's she doing here?" O'Malley asked as nonchalantly as possible. "I thought she went to another town."

"I was, business was concluded early." Mayor Mare nodded as she turned to Gary. "It's nice to hear you managed to get somepony for that. After hiring you I realized how difficult and time consuming it was to run this town on my own."

"Why didn't you hire anybody before?" O'Malley asked. Best to act legitimate in front of his boss.

"I never truly felt the need." Mayor Mare shrugged effortlessly. "The closest pony I had that helped me was Time Turner, or Doctor Whooves as he likes to be referred to as, but he generally leaves town for months on end. He may be a reliable stallion in many ways, but punctual he is not. Ironic that he mostly works with things such as schedules and upcoming events."

"Luckily you have us now." Gary said non-modestly. "We're punctual, reliable and we don't leave town!"

"I agree. Now my workload has been cut exponentially." Mayor Mare sighed happily, then focused back on O'Malley. "Now, what did he mean by a wild goose chase?"

"Somepony dropped by and told us someone was performing tax evasion." Gary said quickly before O'Malley could answer.

"Ah. Who was it?" Mayor Mare asked dubiously. "Most ponies are accurate about that sort of thing and wouldn't bring it up unless they were one hundred percent sure..."

Gary bit his lip and looked away from the Mayor, quickly trying to cook up a suitable answer for her. He didn't want to tell her any fake name since she would know if it was made up, and he couldn't give her the name of one of the actual ponies in town since she could look them up and ask.

"Neighoming?" Mayor Mare asked after a few second.

"We don't know. They just gave us a letter and knocked on the door. O'Malley grabbed it and set out right away."

"Ah, a take action stallion. That's good." Mayor Mare smiled at him.

"Thanks." O'Malley muttered insincerely.

"Oh, do you still have the letter? I could perhaps check the penman ship to figure out who wrote the letter. We can't have this sort of behavior go unpunished."

"I threw it out."

"You did?" Mayor Mare asked quietly. "Don't you know false claims are a serious offense in the law?"

"He probably did it out of anger." Gary replied half truthfully. "O'Malley may be dependable, but he has a very short fuse. He does not take being toyed with too well."

"I see." Mayor Mare sighed, getting up from her desk. "Well if it happens again be sure to keep the letter."

"You're leaving?" O'Malley asked happily.

"Yes, I have some other matters I must attend to." Mayor Mare said as she trotted towards the door. "it was nice to meet you O'Malley. I hope we can all talk together again soon."

"I hope so too." O'Malley cringed as he forced out the words.

Mayor Mare nodded at them and then walked out the door, going to talk to some of the other ponies in town. O'Malley walked up to Gary's desk and sat in one of the chairs in front of it.

"What happened?" Gary asked instantly.

"When I talked to the multi-color maned nuisance she pointed me towards an alley and led me into a trap!"

"And you fell for that?" Gary whooped. "That's the most obvious ploy there is in the book of lies!"

"Well I know that now." O'Malley huffed, angry that Gary was making fun of him.

"Oh, stop being a sore loser." Gary laughed quietly. "Then what happened? What was the trap?"

"That foolish sergeant was waiting for me on the other side of the alley, then that Big Mac fellow blocked the other side with Rainbow Dash. They interrogated me lightly, made some slight threats."

"So business as usual with the filthy shisnos?"

"Quite." O'Malley nodded, then grinned brightly. "Though they didn't expect me to have any information on them. When I told them it it shut them up right quick."

"Do tell what this information was." Gary said eagerly.

'Well, when I was browsing through the records I discovered the Apples owe quite a hefty sum to the town, and I told them that their property could be seized practically at my word."

"You told them that? I was going to save that for later!" Gary said annoyingly. "I suppose that's for the best. Had I told Sarge about the taxes he probably would have written it off as a lie. While you can lie, I think they know that you wouldn't lie about something like that."

"Indeed." O'Malley chuckled. "These fools will play right into the palm of our hands."

"Hooves." Gary corrected him. "While I believe Equestria has a more broken version of the English language than the shisnos that the freelancers were named after, we must try to use their terms. I've even tried toning down on shisnos for the shisnos."

"You're doing well at it." O'Malley remarked dryly.

"I don't have to hide it around you." Gary grunted.

"Why not just learn a whole other new language."

"There are only a few discrepancies I've noticed and their mostly related to their bodies. Feet and hands are hooves, arms are forelegs, hair is mane. Then there's that somepony, nopony business."

"What a stupid, foolish and completely unlikable idea." O'Malley huffed.

"I agree, but we must do it."

O'Malley squinted at him, quickly growing concerned with his so called brother. Gary noticed this and lifted a brow, inviting O'malley to ask him any question, showing that he had nothing to hide from his angry sibling.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're enjoying this place." O'Malley huffed. "The Gary I knew liked his old way of speaking."

"Don't be inconsiderate like that. Here I have what I sought. Power over shisnos. Is it so bad that I wish to keep it that way?" Gary inquired pleasantly, believing that to be sufficient enough of an explanation.

"Not completely unexpected, but since you have power over them already, why change? Why not change them? They're the fools after all, not us."

"That's exactly it. They're stupid shisnos. We can't expect them to learn anything, can we?" Gary asked, rising out of his chair. "Speaking of which, perhaps we should go back to the farm. Best not dillydally."

"Good point." O'Malley said, following Gary's instructions. "But I refuse to say somepony though. I may have lost some of my dignity by becoming a silly little horse, but I have not last it all."

"Very well. I suppose they'll understand you either way. Just be sure not to mention-"

"Any terms that apply to us or the blight that is called humanity." O'Malley nodded.

"Indeed ol' chum." Gary chuckled, then his features darkened softly as he walked around the desck. "It's too bad about Tucker though. I would have enjoyed hearing about your exploits regarding him."

"Do not worry, I've already warned Rainbow Dash about her impending doom. I'm going to work my hardest to make her life an especially brutal living hell."

"This is good to hear." Gary said, patting O'Malley on the back as they began walking towards the door. "Now come, now that Sarge knows about it I would like to rub his intruding nose in it."

"I'm liking this idea." O'Malley chuckled darkly. Then this chuckle turned into a darker, louder outburst of laughter.

Soon enough both of them were laughing together as they walked towards Sweet Apple Acres to torment their watchers.

Necessary Clarifications

Delta trotted out of the farmhouse and breathed deeply through his nose, trying to get more out of his senses. He turned his attention to the sight of the dark orange sun nearly disappear off of the horizon. After a few seconds of admiring the view, he walked to the side of the farmhouse and stopped by a row of bright yellow flowers that had recently bloomed. He smelled the flower deeply, smiling at the smell of it. He let out a sigh and watched as he noticed noticed a cool gray mist come out of his mouth.

"He's the smart one?" Scootaloo asked, looking Delta over curiously from behind one of the trees near the barn. "Looks sorta stran-"

"Ah'd recommend not sayin' that." Applebloom chuckled as she put her hoof over Scootaloo's mouth. "He sorta has a way of pickin' apart what ya say."

"Is he smarter than Simmons?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Ah think so." Applebloom said slowly. "Haven't talked to him enough t' know for sure, but he looks to be smarter than anypony ever."

"He can't be the smartest pony ever." Scootaloo chortled.

"Why not?"

"Well look at him. If he was the smartest pony ever, what would he be doing here?"

"What's wrong with here?" Applebloom asked in a slightly agitated way.

"You know what I mean." Scootaloo rolled her eyes, then motioned her hoof at Delta, who was now examining a wilted flower, holding it up, trying to find out how it became unhealthy. "lf he was so smart, why isn't he up in Canterlot or any other place where he would do the most good? A farm isn't a place for a pony like that!"

"Well go up an' ask him anything!" Applebloom said testily, tired of being told she was wrong.

"Fine." Scootaloo huffed.

"I'm waiting." Applebloom laughed, tapping her hoof impatiently.

"I'm going!" Scootaloo said loudly, then looked around curiously.

"What's wrong?"

"Where'd Sweetie Belle go?" Scootaloo asked.

The pair snapped their heads to look at Delta. They saw Sweetie Belle trotting towards him with a stern expression on her face. Sweetie Belle paused behind Delta, not sure about how she wanted to greet him. She shrugged and slowly walked up to his side and began staring at the flower he was examining. She instantly saw that there was a hummingbird feeding out of it, wings virtually noticeable.

"Remarkable, isn't it?" Delta mused as the hummingbird darted away after having it's fill. "It's wings flap nearly fifteen hundred times per minute. Even young hummingbirds can flap their wings nearly thirteen hundred times per second. Did you know that?"

"Uh, no, I didn't." Sweetie Belle said, caught off guard by his question. She shook her head to gain back her senses and smile at Delta, sticking out her hoof instinctively. "I don't think we really got the chance to greet each other. I'm-"

"Sweetie Belle." Delta nodded. "Yes, I know. I've been told a bit about you."

"You have?"

"Yes. And it is to my understanding that you are currently residing with your sister, Rarity, correct?"

"Yup."

Delta smiled at her then turned his attention back to the flower, trying to see how much the hummingbird had taken before flying away. She was wondering if he really was smart, or if he just new a lot of interesting things, giving the impression that he was big brained.

"I am in a way the embodiment of logic." Delta said thoughtfully. "Though I am only the logic of one artificial intelligence, I am logic nonetheless. So yes, I would like to think that I am, as I believe you put it, big brained."

"Yup." Sweetie Belle nodded at the girls. "He's strange."

"I certainly hope that this does not become a reoccurring phrase when I meet the inhabitants of this world." Delta said quietly, straightening his pose as the two other fillies approached him.

"Heya." Applebloom smiled warmly at Delta, who smiled awkwardly in return.

"Hello Applebloom." Delta nodded curtly, turning his attention to the small pegasus.

"I'm-"

"I would just like to say I am pleased to make your acquaintance Scootaloo."

"What's your-"

"I received my cutie mark while I was in the Everfree forest." Delta replied simply.

"You did?" Sweetie Belle piped nervously.

"I told you we could have gotten our cutie marks in the forest." Scootaloo grunted.

"What did you get it for?" Sweetie Belle asked, ignoring Scootaloo.

"You know Zecora, correct?" Delta asked, to which the girls nodded in unison. "I was escorting her through the forest, finding plants and the like for her potions and herbal remedies, when we got attacked by a group of timberwolves. Using minor calculations involving degrees and speed, as well as near perfect guesstimates, I was able to correctly fend them off using my brain rather than blindly rushing in the battle like some others would do."

"Uh-huh." Applebloom nodded slowly. "Ya know, that's a real cool story an' all, but- quick! What's eighteen times seve-"

"One hundred and twenty-six."

"Dang it." Applebloom stomped on the ground, smiling playfully at Delta. "I'll get you eventually."

"You most likely will not." Delta disagreed.

"Will too!"

"Were you watching me this entire time thinking of ways you could fool me?" Delta inquired.

"What? No! Ah was just-"

"Watching me for another reason." Delta finished. "That's a poor answer."

"Are you sure he isn't a mind reader?" Scootaloo asked seriously.

"Since you most likely wouldn't understand - I'm not saying that because I believe you aren't smart." Delta confirmed when Scootaloo opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind. "I will just leave it at it is just it would take you a long time to understand ratios and the like to figure out what someone is going to say before they say it." Delta fell silent for a brief moment, reading slightly more into their mindsets. "Perhaps you were watching me because you wanted me to help you with your cutie marks?"

The girls looked at each other and smirked. He was as smart as Applebloom had said. Just the sort of pony they were looking for.

"I apologize, but I can not help you obtain your marks." Delta said humbly, bowing his head.

"But Simmons already did a lot of th' work!" Applebloom whined. "Ya just have t' make the list a bit smaller. He made a big one ya know."

"It is to my understanding that Cutie Marks in this culture are a sign of reaching a certain level of maturity. By finding your mark, you find out who you are as a pony and what your place in the world is. It would not be morally correct for me to take that right away from you. It is something you must do on your own or, as you girls are currently doing, with your friends. Simmons has already done a great favor for you, but I believe that I would most likely not have much to add to the list, and since organizing is as far as I would go to help you to achieve your goal, I am afraid I cannot do anything for you."

"But-"

"There is no use arguing." Delta coughed. "I am sure that there is nothing you could say that would convince me otherwise."

"Alright." Applebloom said dejectedly.

"Please do not feel disappointed." Delta sighed, shaking his head at her. "You must understand that I wish to help you, but I just believe it will be much more gratifying if you find it together, as you started."

"Well that's enough time wasted, let's go look at the next thing on the list!" Sweetie Belle chimed.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders, go!" The girls yelled together, sprinting off into the orchard to go to their headquarters.

Delta shrugged and turned around to go back to the barn. He stopped when he saw Applejack staring at him from the doorway. Having been there the entire time, she was smiling at him. Probably more warmly than she ever had at one of the fragments. She nodded appreciatively at him and walked into the farmhouse. Delta stared back at the flower and smiled, then trotted back into the farmhouse to explain how fast the average flower regained it's nectar.

Nickname Basis

O'Malley kicked open the front door and smugly strutted into the kitchen where Sarge, Applejack and Delta were standing in. They were in the middle of a conversation when he entered. He didn't care.

"Evening, fools!" O'Malley said as he stood next to Delta.

"Hello Omega, how was your day?" Delta asked.

"It was wonderful!" O'Malley boomed. "You should have seen it. I asked for their taxes, they stalled and said they didn't have it. I mess up the place, suddenly they have bits pouring out of every orifice. Including the ones they feared I would make! Oh, let me tell you about the one that owned a pet store with many aquariums! You see, I went in there with my glasses over my eyes, trying to look as intimidating as possible, when this couple walked in from the store room. When they came out they asked who I was. I told them. They didn't believe me, said they were all paid up, so I grabbed a metal rod that was used to put together a cage and I began tapping on one of the aquariums. I slowly started tapping faster, until I was hitting the aquarium and began to crack. At that point they were already giving me what they owed, but Iw as having too much fun. I hit the glass harder and it cracked even more. Now they were worried, so they emptied their cash register and begged for me to leave and never come back! Oh how I wish they didn't pay me. I wanted those fools to discover where I'd put the fish if they didn't! Muahahaha."

"Sounds like extortion, which ah'll have ya know ah don't appreciate." Applejack grunted, angry at what O'Malley had done that to some of the ponies in Ponyville. "As if ah needed any further proof that ya can't be trusted..."

"Call it what you wish, I call it a job well done!" O'Malley laughed.

"C'mon Delta, you're smart, tell him he did them wrong." Applejack said, turning to Delta in hopes he would agree with her.

"He did nothing wrong."

"What?" Applejack asked dumbfoundedly.

"He did as he was hired to do." Delta nodded slowly.

"Don't tell me you support that sorta behavior." Applejack said slowly, eyes narrowing at Delta.

"Not at all, what I support is irrelevant. He is just performing in the way he was trained to." Delta sighed, instantly thinking of a way to make it easier for her to relate with O'Malley. "Much like you and harvesting apples, he didn't just learn it over night. He used his skills to adapt. I understand there is a large gap between kicking trees and kicking ponies, but you must know that whenever an agent was taken on a mission, they were given a set of goals. It didn't matter how they managed to do it. Just as long as it got done the Director was happy and they were rewarded."

"That is exactly it!" O'Malley nodded viciously. "By fragment standards I did the job exceptionally well."

"Speaking of jobs, when are you going to pay us back for that tree you destroyed?" Sarge asked sternly.

"Oh Sarge. Do you really think I'm going to replace it?" O'Malley chuckled. "I told you I had no aspirations of being a apple farmer, and since you didn't appreciate my methods I felt you wouldn't appreciate my ways of fixing it."

"You might be able to get away with that stuff in Ponyville, but here you're living under the Apple family's roof. You listen when they talk. You jump when they ask, got it?"

"I knew you we're a fool, but I didn't know you were a complete idiot. Need I remind you about the sum of money they owe?" O'Malley asked seriously, making Sarge's eye twitch in frustration. "You punish me, I punish you. An eye for an eye and all that jazz."

"An eye for an eye?" Sarge asked angrily, taking a step towards him. "Are you trying to tell me you think that making you pay for a single tree is as bad as taking away thousands more trees from them?"

"Yes." O'Malley smiled.

Sarge began walking towards him, wanting to put him in his place, but Sarge found himself stopped. He glanced around, expecting to see Applejack holding him back, but instead he saw a thin, green mist surrounding his hooves. He glared at Delta who stared impassively back at him.

"Don't worry about it Sarge." Applejack said quietly, helping Delta take control of the situation. "Most of the trees around th' edge of the orchard need replantin' anyways."

"Why? They look perfectly fine to me." Sarge muttered.

"We use th' wood of those we fell t' heat our home durin' th' winter." Applejack promised, gradually making Sarge relax. "It ain't a big deal."

"I still don't like that he did it..." Sarge grumbled as Delta released him.

"Cry me a river. Preferably one of the blood variety!" O'Malley chuckled savagely.

"Come O'Malley, we must plan who you will talk to tomorrow!" Gary called from outside.

"As much as I'd like to stay and chat, I have other business to attend to... fool." O'Malley said as he trotted out of the room.

Delta changed from looking at Sarge to looking at Applejack and coughed.

"What's wrong?" Applejack asked.

"I hope you are not angry at me." Delta said quietly, looking away from her.

"Why would ah be angry with ya?"

"For technically siding with O'Malley. I understand that you-"

"Ah'm not angry at ya for that." Applejack said, smiling awkwardly at him. "Only one ah'm really angry at is Sarge."

"What did I do?" Sarge asked, offended.

"Oh ah don't know, how about swearin' in front of my lil' sister and her friends?"

"We've already been over this, I can't help it." Sarge shrugged.

Applejack turned to Delta and raised her brow, asking him to give his two cents.

"I believe you could at least try to act more open minded when the young ones are around." Delta bowed his head.

"Thank ya kindly." Applejack nodded, then turned at Sarge and smirked. "Why can't ya be more like Delta?"

"You want me to be like a fragment?" Sarge scoffed.

"Well his fragmented brain seems t' work better than your full brain." Applejack chuckled dryly.

"Ha ha ha, very funny." Sarge said sarcastically. "If I recall correctly, you said that the fragments couldn't be trusted."

"Ah never said all of them weren't t' be trusted." Applejack muttered. "Just, y'know, th' ones that are goin' out of their ways t' annoy us. It ain't that hard to try an' set th' girls right."

'Whatever you say, boss." Sarge said with a firm, albeit mocking salute, then bega walking away. "I'll go make sure those two untrustworthy one's aren't up to anything usual."

"Usual?"

"Usual for them."

"Gotcha." Applejack nodded.

Sarge then left the room, leaving Applejack with Delta. Delta looked around the room, taking in every last bit of detail, from the scratch on the wall to the dent on the right most cupboard.

"Whelp, ah think ah've had enough of sittin'." Applejack said happily as she walked towards the cupboard. "Are ya hungry?"

"I suppose a bit." Delta said, fidgeting in his chair.

Applejack opened her mouth to ask him what was wrong, but shrugged. If he wanted to let her know something he would. She quickly threw together a small snack and put it on a plate, then put it on the table in front of Delta. Delta stared at it and tilted his head.

"It's just a sandwich." Applejack chuckled as she made one of her own.

"I see." Delta said quietly. "Applejack, may I tell something to you?"

"Uh, okay." Applejack turned back to him curiously after finishing her snack. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to let you know that I would not mind if you call me D."

"D?" Applejack raised her brow.

"Yes. It is a name agent York gave to me while I was with him." Delta nodded, and smiled when Applejack frowned. "It is what I like my friends calling me."

Old School

"Twilight, what are we even doing here?" Church grunted as Twilight lead him into Ponyville's hospital, keeping him upright with her magic.

"You're sick." Twilight said simply, relaxing as the cool temperature of the hospital hit her. She sat him down on one of the benches near the door, then walked up to the counter and took a number, taking a seat next to Church with it. "Spike's fire did something to you that it shouldn't have and we're going to have the doctor figure out exactly what it did."

"Maybe it sent part of my brain to Celestia." Church chuckled weakly, then coughed violently for few seconds. "Gotta admit, it's a hell of a lot more original than the fiery bag of dog shit I intended on leaving her."

"Church, now isn't the time for jokes."

"Why not?" Church retorted. "What if the doctor can't find anything wrong? I doubt a unicorn getting hit in the face by a hot ball of magical dragon fire isn't a common illness around here."

"Even so, he may know someway to ease your pain." Twilight sighed.

"I guess not many ponies are willing to do a field test of that." Church smirked sarcastically, then clenched his eyes and grunted when the migraine came back worse than ever.

"Maybe I should-"

"No." Church said irritably. "Remember what happened last time you tried that?"

"I know, but-"

"The answer is no, Twilight." Church said adamantly. "I doubt I'd even let Tucker take some of this shit. We don't know how strong it is. It could be strong enough to kill anybody for all we know. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm pretty damn sure getting hit in the face by a ball of magical fire would kill most others." Church then frowned and added. "Ironically enough."

"Probably." Twilight said reluctantly, not liking when Church began thinking that way.

"Number three, Doctor Stable is ready to see you." The receptionist called out from her desk.

Twilight nodded at her from across the room and helped Church out of his chair, using her magic to straighten his legs. Once he was standing straight, Twilight slowly escorted him up to the front desk where she saw a cream colored unicorn with a cutie mark of a heart monitor.

"Ah, hello Twilight." Doctor Stable chuckled lightheartedly. "Bring me another angel from the sky?"

"What does he mean by that?" Church asked curiously.

"When Caboose first, um, fell from the sky." Twilight coughed.

"Right." Church sighed, looking at light brown physician.

"So what problem are you having Mr... what was your name again?" Doctor Stable raised his brow.

"Church." Twilight answered for him, and Church cringed. "He's been having headaches for the past few days and I was wondering if there was anything you could do to help him in even the slightest."

"I can try. Follow me this way." Doctor Stable nodded and began walking down one of the hospital's many halls. "Now, I'd like to just fill in some of the blanks on our way there if that is alright with you."

"Suits me fine." Church said, trying to keep up with the doctor.

"Lovely. Now, where have you been staying for the past while?"

"At Twilight's. The library in the tree."

"I see. Any allergies to anything common?"

"Does stupidity count?" Church asked and Doctor Stable laughed. "Guess not then."

"Now, what do you think may have caused the migraines? When did they begin? How often do they last?"

"They started when Twilight's friend Spike hit me in the face with some green fire." Church said quickly. "And they pretty much last for a few-"

"What?" Doctor Stable's jaw dropped. "But, how? A dragon's fire is supposed to be infinitely worse than regular fire."

"Guess I'm just lucky." Church shrugged, looking away.

"If it's luck, it's the luck of the devil." Doctor Stable laughed, then coughed. "How are you with needles?"

"Fine, I guess."

"Good. Here's our room." Doctor Stable said as he reached for the door. "I'd like to run a few tests on you and-"

Church's horn flared into action and Doctor Stable flung up into the air a few feet. He crashed onto his hooves and fell to the floor, looking around worryingly.

"Fuck, sorry." Church said quickly, helping Doctor Stable up even though his head was in intense pain. "I just don't like the idea of being tested on very much."

"Quite alright." Doctor Stable assured him with a weak smile. "I've dealt with unicorns that have done much worse."

"Good to know." Church laughed.

The doctor lead Church into the small room and checked the basics; heartbeat, blood test, reflex test, making sure he got every detail down, somehow hoping Church had survived due to something natural, believing he could study it to make a breakthrough in the medicine world. To Doctor Stables disappointment, as well as gratefulness, Church had a clean bill of health with no irregularities in his system. As far as he was concerned, Church was just extremely stressed and could only recommend to eat healthy and rest up.

"I was almost certain you must have skin of steel for getting right back up after what happened..." Doctor Stable said quietly as he escorted Church and Twilight to the door.

"I wouldn't say being bedridden is the definition of getting right back up." Church grunted.

"You understand what I mean." Doctor Stable laughed. "I don't suppose you will come back within the next week?"

"I might if this keeps up. Why?"

"Well I could have a few other doctors look at you. Particularly those that study cognitive functions and the like. Maybe they would be able to locate the problem."

"I'll see what I can do." Church promised as he walked out the door.

Twilight brought Church back to the library as quickly as she could. Once inside her home, she told him to get some rest so she could triple check her books on dragons to make sure she didn't over look any minor detail that could help her. Piling the books in front of her so she could make references between each of them, making sure they weren't just fluff. As she cracked open the fourth book, the sound of knocking came from the front door, diverting her attention away from her studies.

"Come in." Twilight said, putting a book mark in the page she was on.

"I apologize that I am late." Delta said, pushing the door open.

Twilight squinted at him, instantly noticing his eyes were slightly bloodshot.

"Do not worry, I am perfectly fine." Delta said as he opened his bag.

"That's good to know." Twilight smirked as Delta propped the Necronomicon up the table. Him being able to accurately predict what she was going to say sure saved time. "Did you do whatever it is you set out to do?"

"You mean besides using me as a piece of meat..." The Necronomicon muttered.

"It would be easier to show you." Delta insisted as he turned to the door. "Come inside."

Twilight looked over at the door, waiting for the two remaining fragments to walk inside. Instead, only one stallion came into the library. Or at least what used to be a stallion now that it was a colt. The colt was orange and had no mane, but had a short scrappy tail with no cutie mark present on his flank. His eyes flickering about like fire as he gazed around largely at the room, smirking to himself.

"Is that..." Twilight trailed off.

"Hello, Twilight. It is nice to see you." The colt said, and it sounded as if there was a second, more malicious voice that echoed after his own.

"Sigma?" Twilight blinked.

"Theta, come inside. It is safer in here." Delta said loudly.

As soon as he said that a small purple blur ran inside and ran behind Delta. Twilight leaned to the side to get a better look at Theta. He was smaller than most colts, but slightly smaller than a filly. He had short messy hair and a tail to match. The color of his pelt, mane and tail was purple with red and blue specs scattered about. His eyes colors shifted between red and blue constantly, meshing around the edges to make purple barriers around the primary splotches. Theta saw that Twilight was staring at him and retreated behind Delta. Twilight looked away, not wanting to make Theta feel uncomfortable.

"Do not feel bad, Twilight. Theta only ever interacted with Zecora and the other fragments while he was in the catacombs." Delta said quietly, looking at Theta who glanced nervously out the window. "Out here he is exposed, and feels naturally threatened by others since he knows nothing of them."

"It also doesn't help that they're bigger than me." Theta added quietly.

"You don't have to worry about anything out here. They may be bigger than you, but I can assure you everypony living here is just as friendly as the next." Twilight smiled, but Theta couldn't see it due to hiding his face.

"Sure they are." Theta grunted.

"Now that the introductions have been made, I require your assistance for something rather important." Delta said, staring directly at Twilight.

"Sure, anything." Twilight nodded politely. "What do you need?"

"I want you to help me register them at Ponyville Elementary."

First Impressions

Twilight spent seven minutes leading Delta, Sigma and Theta from the library to Ponyville Elementary. Once they were there, she walked up to one of the classrooms and checked to make sure it was Cherilee's room. When she saw light cerise teacher talking to the class, she waited until she stopped speaking then knocked on the door. Cherilee glanced over and saw Twilight. She smiled at the class and excused herself, knowing Twilight wouldn't drop by just to say hello. When she stepped outside she saw a bald green unicorn standing next to her with a small smile on his muzzle.

"Er, Twilight? Who is this?" Cherilee asked curiously.

"This is Delta." Twilight said, and Delta bowed his head.

"Well it's a pleasure to meet you Delta." Cherilee returned the bow and smiled at him.

"The feeling is mutual." Delta nodded politely.

"So what can I do for you today?" Cherilee asked happily.

"Have you heard about my friend Church?" Twilight inquired.

"Ah, the stallion who's staying with you. I also believe that the mare that bullied those bullies is there too, right?"

"Tex." Twilight nodded, then shook her head to get back on topic. "Anyways, he has two little brothers that have come in from out of town and we wanted to register them in your class."

"Well class is almost over for today, but I suppose they could go in and introduce themselves while we get them written in." Cherilee said, looking around to see the two colts, but only saw Sigma standing a few feet away from Delta. "Where's the other one?"

A muffle came out from behind Delta and Cherilee raised her brow. She then saw a purple tail with red and blue strands flick to the side.

"Sorry about Theta, ever since he moved he's become a bit nervous." Twilight said.

"You don't have to be shy, Theta." Cherilee said, trying to befriend the little one. "Once you get to know me you'll learn I'm easy to get along with."

Theta peeked out from behind Delta, saw Cherilee's smile, then hid back behind him. Cherilee giggled at the nervous colt, then nodded at Delta and Twilight.

"Theta, Sigma, you can go into the class and meet the other children while we get things set up for you." Twilight said, beginning to walk towards Cherilee's office.

Theta slowly walked towards the door of the classroom, looked inside, yelped, then ran back behind Delta.

"How many are there?" Sigma asked.

"I don't know." Theta muttered, trying to remember. "I only looked for a second, but I think I saw at least three."

"There are far more than three in there, but don't let that discourage you." Cherilee said, walking next to Theta. He let out a high pitched squeal and darted behind Sigma. She shook her head playfully. "Come on, I'll get the introductions started. Twilight, bring Delta to my office and I will meet you there in a minute or so.

"Okay." Twilight nodded as she began walking away with Delta. She saw Theta's eyes poking out from behind Sigma and smiled encouragingly at him.

"It's nice to meet you two." Cherilee said as she bent low to the ground to be at their eye level. "What did you say your names were?"

"I am Sigma, and it is an absolute joy to make your acquaintances." Sigma said politely.

"I think the class is thinking the same thing." Cherilee smiled weakly, seeing that Theta was still timidly hiding behind Sigma. She needed to say something to break the ice. "What was your name?"

Theta peered out, mumbled something to the class, then returned to his spot behind Sigma.

"What was that?" A colt called out from the back

"Theta." Theta coughed from behind his orange sibling, then cleared his throat. "My name is Theta."

"That's a nice name, isn't it class?" Cherilee asked awkwardly.

"If you say so." Another colt said from the back and the two laughed.

"Don't be mean, boys. Theta is being very brave for coming out here." Cherilee said, then looked at Sigma. "Feel free to tell the class about yourselves. I have to go for now, but class is over in less than ten minutes, so once you're done you can all leave."

Sigma nodded at Cherilee and she trotted out of the class and made her way to her office.

"Delta, it's not polite touching other people's things." Twilight chastised the moss-green stallion as Cherilee walked in.

"Sorry for the wait, the class seems to be-" Cherilee stopped when she saw Delta had organized everything on her desk neatly.

"Sorry about him, he's... a bit compulsive." Twilight said, then laughed at herself when she realized the irony of her statement. He must be really compulsive if she thinks he is.

"That's quite alright, I've been meaning to clean up anyways." Cherilee said, taking a seat behind her white oak desk. "To get started I have to ask; are you Theta and Sigma's legal guardian?"

"No, I'm not." Twilight said as she and Delta sat in two of the five chairs in front of her desk. "But Delta is their cousin and he's staying over at Sweet Apple Acres where he is watching them until we can clear out the basement."

"Are they running an inn there now? I've been hearing more and more stallions are taking up residence there."

"You heard that?" Twilight asked nervously.

"Yes, the Mayor's assistant as well as some odd pony, I think he's the new Tax Collector."

"I believe the Mayor asked the Apples to house them until they find a place to stay."

"Does Delta work with the city too?"

"No, I am just a family friend. Epsilon is currently unable to watch them due to him being ill, so I requested that I temporarily stay with the Apples so I may look after them.

"Epsilon?" Cherilee repeated questioningly.

"It's just a nickname." Twilight said quickly.

"Interesting one at that." Cherilee noted.

Inside of the classroom, Theta and Sigma stood silently as the entire class watched them in silence, waiting for them to talk. Sigma looked at the clock behind him and watched the clock ticking. With a shrug, he turned his attention back to the classmates, but now he saw a pair of fillies giggling at him.

"What's wrong with their eyes?" Diamond Tiara asked in a hushed voice.

"I know. They look like something from a freak show." Silver Spoon laughed loudly, looking over at Theta. "Look at the purple one. His eyes look like a lava lamp."

Half the class started laughing. Theta lowered his head ashamedly and took a step back, wishing he could just disappear. Sigma saw how difficult they were making it for Theta, but didn't react instantly. Instead, he cast his gaze around the class, seeing which ponies were laughing and which weren't. The ones that were laughing were now his enemies.

"What's with the orange one?" Silver Spoon asked, seeing Sigma looking around dumbly.

"Maybe he's too stupid to realize when he's being laughed at." Diamond Tiara suggested, making the class laugh more. "I mean, he doesn't even have his mark yet!"

"I can assure you my intellect is far superior than yours, my dear Tiara." Sigma said coldly, reading her body language as she glared at him. He noted that when they made remarks, most of the class followed. He noticed the semblance of a chain of command, where Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were at the top. To gain his classmates respect he would have to knock them down a few pegs. "The reason I don't have my marking is because I have a wide variety of talents, I simply haven't chose which one I want to excel at yet."

"Aw, did we strike a nerve, blank flank? You don't have to be jealous just because you don't have your cutie mark yet." Silver Spoon smirked.

"Jealous?" Sigma echoed, then shook his head at her. "I hardly think so. Your cutie mark is a spoon, so either you're a cutlery maker or one that's special talent is cuddling with another, both of which are quite mundane and tasteless to be honest. I can't really see those being useful jobs down the long road. I, however, have hundreds of possibilities while you're strapped down to being useless for the rest of you life. So get your kicks by pretending to be something you aren't now, because you surely won't get them later when my brother and I have reasonable and respectable talents while you're stuck with nothing."

The class burst out with laughter and raised their hooves, pointing at the flustered Silver Spoon.

"Do you have any comments?" Sigma asked, turning to glare daggers at Diamond Tiara. "I'd be more than happy to explain to you why your cutie mark is just as bad, if not worse than hers."

"I'm okay." Diamond Tiara said, shrinking in her chair.

"Are you sure?" Sigma asked, taking a step towards her.

"Yes, I'm sure!" Diamond Tiara yelped.

"Well then I'd appreciate it if you apologized. That is, unless you want me to-"

"I'm sorry." She said quickly, trying to end it and change the subject before Sigma said anything about her.

"Not to me. I could care less than what you say to me." Sigma growled, glancing quickly at his brother who was still ignoring everything. "I want you to apologize to Theta."

Theta heard what Sigma said, then opened his eyes and turned to him to make sure he heard right. Sigma flashed him a small smile, then turned back to Diamond Tiara and nodded at her, telling her it was either this or being embarrassed.

"I'm sorry I brought up your eyes." Diamond Tiara said quietly.

"Will it happen again?" Sigma asked firmly. Diamond Tiara shook her head violently. Sigma smiled darkly at her as the bell rang. "A wise decision."

Outnumbered

The entire class filed out of the classroom, looking forward to the rest of the day. Once the entire class had left, Sigma walked out of the class with his head held up high, while Theta quickly trailed behind him, fearing that if he was alone he would be singled out. As they began walking away from the class to find Delta and Twilight, Sigma felt that somebody was watching them so he stopped walking.

"Hey, your name's Sigma, right?" A voice came from behind him.

Sigma whipped around defensively, stepping in between Theta and the pony that was talking to him. Sigma expected to see either Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon coming back to try and make themselves look better, but instead he saw a pair of colts staring at him with large smiles on their faces. The colt on the left was a tall, amber colored unicorn with turquoise mane and tail, as well as a cutie mark of a snail. The colt on the left was a small, chubby, opal unicorn with muddy orange hair and buckteeth that matched his bushy eyebrows. His cutie mark was a pair of shears.

"Yes, it is." Sigma muttered reluctantly.

"Cool!" The short unicorn laughed, sticking his hoof out. "The name's Snips!"

"And I'm Snails!" The lanky one said loudly.

"I see." Sigma squinted at Snips's hoof, then back to his face. "You wouldn't happen to have laughed when those two were giving us trouble, were you?"

"Uhhhhhhhh-" Snails began.

"What he means is of course we didn't." Snips said, headbutting Snails in the neck.

"Ow, what did you do that for?" Snails asked.

"And your name was Theta, right?" Snips asked, stepping around Sigma to look at Theta.

"Yeah." Theta grumbled, trying to walk back to his position behind Sigma, but Snails was standing there.

"Leave him alone." Sigma grunted.

"Why?" Snails asked, then Snips gasped and tackled him to the ground. "What are you doing?"

"Don't argue with him." Snips said nervously. "If he wants us to leave his brother alone, then we should do what he says!"

"Oh, right." Snails nodded, twisting his head to address Theta. "Sorry, didn't mean to be any trouble."

"That's okay." Theta said quietly.

Sigma watched as Snips and Snails snapped to their hooves, staring at him, waiting. Sigma raised his brow at them, wondering what they wanted. But they continued staring at him without saying anything else, large grins on their faces.

"Well, it was nice meeting you." Sigma said, turning away from the pair of creepy colts. "Come, Theta, we have much to think about."

"We should probably get going anyways." Snails said, squinting at the sun.

"If you ever need any backup after school, don't hesitate to call on us!" Snips said as he used his stubby legs to gallop after Snails.

Sigma turned back to look at them, but they were already running away at full speed. Sigma shook his head and smiled at Theta, who gave him a weak smile of his own.

"There you two are." Delta said, quickening his pace to get to them as Twilight trailed behind him. He paused when he saw Theta and tilted his head. "Ah, one of the ponies in the class gave you trouble?"

"Yeah." Theta nodded after a second of hesitation. "But Sigma stuck up for me."

"Interesting." Delta noted as he shifted his sight towards Sigma, who smiled smugly at him. "I hope you did nothing too drastic."

"Of course not. Drastic just isn't my style." Sigma shook his head.

"Because setting up dozens of traps in the Everfree Forest isn't drastic." Twilight said sarcastically.

"That was not drastic, they were necessary precautions." Sigma corrected her. "Are Theta and I ready to resume classes tomorrow?"

"Yes." Delta replied quickly. "Cherilee was more than helpful and she also seems to be quite knowledgeable and friendly, so do not give her any-"

"Trouble? Of course, I wouldn't dream of it."

"Good, now we must go to Sweet Apple Acres. I am most certain that you will be welcomed warmly."

Sigma and Theta nodded and began following Delta and Twilight to their new, temporary home. When they arrived, Delta told Sigma and Theta to go to the barn to get used to the place where they would be sleeping while he and Twilight went to go talk to Applejack.

"Certainly looks big enough to hold us." Sigma noted as he walked up to the barn door.

"Looks dark in there too." Theta mumbled. "I don't think I want to go in there."

"Come Theta, it won't be so bad with company. You have nothing to fear."

"That's what they always say."

"Hey!" A high pitched greeting came from behind them.

Theta turned around, saw three fillies trotting towards them. He stifled a scream as he ran into the barn to hide. Sigma closed the door slightly, blocking their path to his brother so he could see what they wanted.

"Hey, are you that Sigma guy from class earlier?" Sweetie Belle asked as she trotted towards him with Scootaloo and Applebloom.

"Yes, why?" Sigma replied abrasively.

"Well, we just wanted to thank you." Sweetie Belle said slowly, wondering what she said wrong.

"Yeah, those two are always giving us trouble because we don't have our marks yet either." Scootaloo laughed. "It's about time somepony put those two in their place."

"You shoulda seen how fast she ran home too!" Applebloom whooped. "I ain't never seen those snobby ponies run so fast in their entire lives."

"Happy to have been of service then." Sigma bowed politely.

"Hope ya don't mind me askin', but what are ya doin' here?" Applebloom asked, taking a step closer to him.

"I am going to be living here with my brothers."

"Wow, you really are running an inn here." Scootaloo giggled at Applebloom.

"Am not, we're just-" Applebloom began then turned to Sigma. "Wait, did ya say brothers, as in more than one?"

"Yes, I did." Sigma sighed. "I have many brothers."

"Do we know any of them?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"One has been living here longer than most, just not on the farm."

"Oh, what's his name?" Applebloom asked. "Maybe we know him."

"He goes by Church." Sigma said, then saw the girls take a step back. "Something the matter?"

"Nah." Scootaloo shook her head and smiled. "Sarge didn't tell us Church had brothers."

"Ah, Sarge. I remember him." Sigma remarked. "Very brave stallion. Willingly puts his life on the line when he is clearly being outmatched."

"Yeah, we've noticed." Applebloom nodded slowly.

Sigma glanced to his right when he saw a pair of bald stallions walk out of the farmhouse. He then turned around without saying anything and began walking towards them. The girls stared at each other, wondering where he was going, when suddenly the door to the barn began to open.

"It's really dusty in there, and it's pretty dark, but all in all I-" Theta began, then yelped when he saw the girls with Sigma nowhere in sight. He quickly slammed the door shut and jumped into pile of hay. "Wheredidhegowheredidhegowheredidhe-"

Theta shut up when he heard the door to the barn open, so he retreated further into the pile of hay, wishing they would go away. His breath caught in his throat when his nose twitched due to a piece of hay falling into his nostril.

"Hey Theta, are ya in here?" Applebloom called out as she walked inside with the girls.

"Of course he is, there isn't a second exit anywhere." Sweetie Belle said.

"I don't know, Sarge always said it's good to have a back up plan." Scootaloo giggled. "It wouldn't surprise me if there was an escape tunnel in here that he dug up while he stayed in here."

Theta blew air out his nose, trying to get the stray strand of straw to get out of his face.

"Didja hear that?" Applebloom asked, looking around.

Theta took a deep breath and sneezed loudly, making the hay around him fly into the air. The girls turned to the source of the sneeze and saw a wide-eyed Theta staring at them. With another yelp, he lowered his head to the ground and piled the remaining hay onto his head, providing the weakest of covers.

"We can see you." Scootaloo chuckled, flicking some of the hay off of his head.

"Go away." Theta whimpered as he backed away on his haunches, eyes closed. His flank skimmed across a wooden support beam, so he yelped and fell to the ground, quivering in fear.

"I think we scared him." Sweetie Belle said, holding back a laugh as to not make Theta feel sad.

"If you want to make fun of me, make it quick!" Theta said trying to cover up the fact he was fearful by talking louder. "When Sigma comes back he's going to-"

"Why would we make fun of ya?" Applebloom asked curiously.

"Why wouldn't you?" Theta retorted. "Look at me! I stand out worse than... well, a lot of things! I mean, my hair is all discolored, my eyes make me look like a mutant and-"

"I think your eyes are pretty cool!" Scootaloo interrupted happily.

"Me too!" Applebloom chirped.

Theta opened his eyes a crack and stared at them, reluctant to open them all the way in case they were just trying to get him to open his eyes so they could make fun of him. He saw that they were smiling at him, so he forced a smile onto his muzzle.

"It's nice to meet ya, Theta!" Applebloom said, extending her hoof to shake his.

Theta yelped and jumped into another pile of hay, thinking she was going to hurt him.

"Guess getting to know him is going to be harder than we thought." Scootaloo said quietly.

The Sidekick's Crusade

"Hello, brothers." Sigma greeted coolly as he walked up to O'Malley and Gary, who were in the midst of talking about future plans.

"Sigma." O'Malley smiled stiffly. "A young horse, are you?"

"Yes, Delta found it was necessary. Who am I to argue with logic?" Sigma asked pleasantly.

"You never were one for logic." O'Malley muttered.

"I could say the same for you, Omega."

"Where's Theta?" Gary asked, looking around. "I thought he was supposed to come out with you."

"He did and he is inside the barn, hiding from those young mares." Sigma chuckled dryly, then shook his head to get back on topic. "Now, it is to my understanding that both of you are working for the town?"

"You understood right. I am the Mayor's new assisstant and O'Malley is the resident tax collector."

"Sounds wonderful. I am happy to hear you are fitting in nicely. And with jobs that suit you as well. I hope you don't mind me asking, but why did you join up with the town. While you two fit in with it, it doesn't exactly fit in with you what with your spite towards all non-artificial intelligences."

"What else? Power!" O'Malley boomed. "We have the ability to force changes upon other while they quake in fear beneath our hooves as they are forced to respect us. It is most gratifying to be able to do anything we wish. I even have these apple loving Apples wrapped around my finger. Figuratively speaking of course."

"Ah, power." Sigma nodded to himself. "I know the feeling all too well."

"Yes, but this time we did not fail at it." O'Malley said icily.

"If you are referring to me, I did not fail. Maine's death was... troubling." Sigma sighed. "But I did not truley fail. It's only failure when one gives up."

A high pitched yelp came from the barn and Sigma whipped around instinctively. He saw that the barn door was open and gazed around, unable to see the fillies.

"Sounded like Theta." Gary remarked.

"I apologize, but I must be on my way. Theta isn't going to help himself." Sigma said, darting towards the barn. He ran through the door and saw the girls surrounding a pile of hay that was on the ground, shaking and whimpering.

"Theta, why don't you come out?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Maybe we're wasting our time." Scootaloo sighed. "He doesn't seem to understand that we aren't going to-"

"Get away from him." Sigma barked

"We weren't hurtin' him or nothin'." Applebloom said innocently.

"Just by being here, yes, you are." Sigma disagreed as he pulled his brother out of the hay and to his hooves. "Can't you see that he doesn't wish to be talked to right now?"

"But we just figured maybe if he had somepony to talk to other than you, he'd be an awful lot less shy." Scootaloo explained. "And, well, we also know what it's like to be picked on, and we didn't like seeing you guys getting the business."

"That's very meritable of you, but as you saw I handled their remarks with-"

"You guys get picked on too?" Theta asked, slowly going to Sigma's side.

"Yeah, and not just because we're blank flanks either." Scootaloo muttered sourly.

"Really? Do they make fun of your eyes too?"

"What? No. Why, do you think something is wrong with my eyes?" Scootaloo asked.

"N-no." Theta shook his head and looked away. "I didn't mean it like that. I meant why do they pick on you?"

"I get made fun of because my parents aren't exactly the most reputable of ponies." Sweetie Belle sighed.

"I get picked on by those two because my family ain't as rich as theirs." Applebloom added.

"And they make fun of me because I don't know how to fly." Scootaloo smiled to show he wasn't alone.

"That's not fair." Theta said angrily. "None of that stuff isn't your fault."

"Yeah, but what are you going to do?" Scootaloo shrugged. "Sarge always says some ponies just want to watch the world burn."

"That's stupid!" Theta mumbled loudly, staring out the door.

"I know, right?" Scootaloo agreed. She turned to her friends and smiled. "Hey, why don't we show them around? Give them a feel for the area?"

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle and Applebloom chanted together.

"You mean outside?" Theta gulped.

"Yeah, but don't worry, we're just going into the orchard." Scootaloo chuckled as she walked next to Theta.

Theta shrunk down and stepped closer to Sigma.

"I for one think that sounds like a fine idea." Sigma said brightly.

"You do?" Theta asked nervously, looking up at him.

"Certainly." Sigma nodded, then looked at the girls. "Do you mind giving us a few seconds to ourselves?"

"Sure." They nodded and walked out of the barn.

"Why don't you want to go? It is a rather nice day."

"I don't know..." Theta whispered. "I just don't like being the center of attention."

"Then it would do you some good to be around them." Sigma said thoughtfully. "I can and will try to be there to help when you need it, but I can't promise that I'll be by your side all the time. When that time comes, it would be best if you had other friends as to not feel alone in the world. We're unfamiliar to this land as well, and could easily get overwhelmed by their culture."

"I guess." Theta sighed reluctantly, looking past his brother and out the door. "But what if they don't like me?"

"There is nothing for them not to like." Sigma insisted, making his way behind Theta to push him.

"Actually-"

"Don't argue with your older brother." Sigma tutted. "Well, you can argue with Gamma, Omega and Epsilon, but I would advise heeding Delta and I's words. Don't worry, I'll be there to help you become their friends."

"Fine, I'll give it a try. But if I think it's not working, we stop, okay?"

"That sounds acceptable." Sigma nodded.

They nodded at each other and walked out of the barn. The three fillies smiled when they saw them and walked up to them, purposely moving as non-intimidatingly as possible so they don't make Theta feel threatened.

"So why are we going into the orchard, exactly?" Sigma asked.

"Well, we have our clubhouse out there and we were goin' t' show it to ya'll." Applebloom whooped.

"You guys have a clubhouse?" Theta asked with surprise. "What kind of club is it?"

"Well..." Sweetie Belle coughed. "It's a club for young ponies who haven't found out what they're best at yet."

"Cool, what do you guys call it?"

"We're called the Cutie Mark Crusaders." Scootaloo smirked. "We wanted you guys to join because of the way you handled those two snobs."

"So you want us to join to defend you?" Sigma asked coldly.

"No, we didn't mean it like that. I mean, that still really made us like you guys a lot, so we felt you guys oughta be in our group!"

"The name sounds girly." Theta said as he pretended to shiver in disgust, then his eyes shot wide thinking he had crossed a line. "I didn't mean to sound mean, I just-"

"Nah, that's okay. Sarge said the same thing. He still hates it when we say 'cutie mark' in front of him."

"I can see why." Sigma said quietly. "It does not sound like the most masculine of names."

"Sorry, but we're already kind of set on the name."

"What if we make a second group for boys, but we become a collective of sorts?" Sigma asked. "We can still go under the same rules and guidelines and work together for our marks, but at the same time we don't sound silly."

"That sounds good." Scootaloo said.

"What'll you guys call yourselves?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Oh, how about the Cutie- wait, that still sounds girly."

"What about the Colt Mark Crusaders?" Applebloom asked.

"That still sounds kinda silly." Scootaloo noted, and the girls fell silent as they brainstormed for good names.

"How about the Stud Stamp Sidekicks?" Theta piped after a minute of thinking.

"I'm liking that idea!" Scootaloo laughed, lightly punching Theta's shoulder. "Way to be, Theta!"

"Thanks." Theta blushed, purple cheeks adopting a soft glow.

"Come on, the club house is not that far." Applebloom said, trotting into the orchard with the other Crusaders.

"Right behind you." Theta said, matching their pace.

Sigma smiled as he watched Theta try to catch up with them, then began to follow at his own, steady pace.

Extremities

"So let's see here." Sweetie Belle said as she began reading over the forms Theta and Sigma had just filled out. "Looks like everything is in order here, how about you Scoots?"

"Yup, the rules are all checked out." Scootaloo nodded as she finished writing on her sheet.

"So what's the first order of business?" Theta asked.

"Uh..." The girls said in unison, not quite sure where to go from there or if they had to do any other initiations.

"I don't suppose that you have a chart of activities to perform, do you?" Sigma asked, stepping next to Sweetie Belle.

"Oh yeah! We should probably add you to that." Sweetie Belle smiled as she tore open the cabinet and pulled out the first few pages of the list, then glanced uneasily at the large pile that remained. "It might take awhile though..."

"We have the time." Sigma chuckled, looking at his brother.

"Did ya'll ever notice how your brother Church is th' only one with a normal voice?" Applebloom scrunched her nose.

"I have a weird voice?"

"It's a little weird." Scootaloo chuckled.

"Oh..." Theta said sadly.

"Come on, don't be all mopey like that. It was a joke... sorta" Scootaloo said sheepishly.

"Well, I could say that you all have weird voices." Theta mumbled.

"Ah guess ya could." Applebloom agreed.

A series of knocks came from the door of their room, and their heads snapped to it. Scootaloo let out a breath of relief and stomped her hooves on the floor twice. The door swung open and a unicorn that was familiar to both the Crusaders and the fragments.

"How's it going?" Simmons asked as he trotted past the new recruits to look at the girls. Simmons then stopped, realizing he had walked past the two colts without so much as giving them the time of day. When he saw them, he simply smiled at them politely, waiting for them to introduce themselves.

"Simmons." Sigma smiled, malicious echo following suit.

"Hey, Sigma, right?" Simmons asked passively, not really paying attention. His eyes then snapped back to the essence of creativity and backed into the wall.

"It is good to see you again too." Sigma bowed politely, fires in his eyes flickering higher than usual.

"W-w-what-"

"-Am I doing here?" Sigma finished questioningly.

"Well, I was going to ask why you're a co-" Simmons began, then saw the girls watching him and coughed. "I, uh, mean why you're accompanying the... girls?"

"Oh, he and Theta joined the Cutie Mark Crusaders." Sweetie Belle said, then shook her head at herself as she finished writing on the paper. "No, that's not right. They call themselves the Stud Stamp Sidekicks, but we're still going to work together."

"Oh, that's... nice?" Simmons squeaked. He quickly cleared his throat and looked at Sweetie Belle. "Does Sarge know about them being in the club?"

"Nah, not yet." Applebloom shook her head, then smiled at the girls. "Hey, we should tell Sarge about the Sidekicks! Ah'm sure he'd want to join up with him bein' all riled up about the name."

"I don't think he'd like that." Simmons muttered.

"What didja say Simmons?"

"Nothing." Simmons sighed, wanting to tell them about Sigma, but knowing he couldn't he turned to Rarity's sister.

"So what are you doing here, Simmons?" Sweetie Belle asked, thinking the reason Simmons was fidgeting was because he was being impatient.

"Rarity wanted me to tell you that dinner would be ready soon, so... dinner is going to be ready soon..." Simmons trailed off as he continued watching Sigma.

"How do you guys know each other?" Scootaloo raised her brow curiously.

"It's a long-"

"They obviously met before they came here." Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. "I mean, they all knew Church before they came here, so obviously they'll know his brothers!"

"I guess that makes sense."

"Brothers? It does? I mean, of course it does! Because that is how I know them. I mean, by knowing Church I obviously know his brothers, so that is how I know them. Yes. It is."

"Why are ya talkin' all funny?"

"I'm talking funny? No. No, I don't think so. You're the one who's talking funny. I'm talking normally. And I'm as far from being scared out of my pants as I can be. Because I'm not wearing pants." Simmons said then forced an extremely awkward laugh that made the girls feel relatively uneasy. "And I'm not doing it for any other reason than everyone else is doing it. I mean everypony. I'm not a pervert like that, ask anyone."

The girls watched him as he backed up into the wall and returned their nervous stares.

"Stop looking at me!" Simmons yelped as he fell to his stomach. He quickly glanced up, acquired his target and ran next to it. "Come on Sweetie Belle, we should probably get going!"

"Why?"

"Because Rarity said it's your turn to do Opal's litter since I did it the last seven times. You like doing the litter right?"

"No..."

"Oh, shi- I mean, yeah, she said if you came home for dinner now you can... do the dishes?"

"I don't like doing that either."

"Fine." Simmons muttered halfheartedly. "Just come with me, we have to go."

"Okay." Sweetie Belle said sadly as she walked past her two filly friends.

"Good to hear, glad you saw it my way. Um, Scootaloo, Applebloom?"

"Yeah?" The two remaining Crusaders asked together.

"Stay in school!" Simmons said, then sprinted out the door.

"See you guys later." Sweetie Belle mumbled, but flashed Theta and Sigma a quick smile. "It was nice meeting you two."

"Likewise." Sigma replied coolly.

"So what are we going to do now?" Theta asked happily, quickly coming into his own around the friendly ponies.

"Ah guess we should head back t' th' farm." Applebloom shrugged as she trotted out of the Crusader headquarters. "Not much t' do 'round here besides make plans. Besides, we need to wait for Sweetie to come back so we can start designing your side groups cape!"

"We get capes too?" Theta inquired ecstatically. "That is so cool!"

"Yeah, but not right now." Scootaloo laughed. "We're not so hot at sewing or any of that fashion junk."

"I guess I can wait a bit." Theta said impatiently, then stared at his brother with a large smile. "Are you excited too?"

"Enthralled." Sigma nodded slowly, not wanting to sour Theta's mood.

Theta happily galloped out of the headquarters after Applebloom. Scootaloo looked over at Sigma to let him go, but he bowed his head, politely giving her the go ahead. She nodded appreciatively at him and walked out the door. Sigma walked out after her as she neared a now waiting Theta and Applebloom. He quickly trotted up to her before she reached them and tapped on her shoulder.

"Something wrong?" Scootaloo asked.

"No, nothing is wrong. I just wished to thank you." Sigma said slowly, looking over at his brother. "While he may not be fully ready to take on the new world, you are making it relatively easy for him to do so."

"It's no problem." Scootaloo assured him.

"Even so, I..." Sigma stopped talking and his eyes slammed shut.

"Sigma?" Scootaloo asked, taking a step towards him. "What's wrong? Why are you-"

Twin shrieks came from the dual fragments as pain rushed into their brains and began spreading through their bodies, rendering them unable to do anything but writhe on the ground and holler due to the extremities of their pain.

"Help!" Theta barely managed to scream through his gritting teeth as his horn fizzled with pure energy.

"What's wrong with them?" Applebloom yelled, panicking over their new found friends.

"I don't know!" Scootaloo said worriedly. She ran over to Theta and threw his right foreleg over her neck. "Come on, grab Sigma! We have to bring them back!"

Applebloom nodded and mirrored what Scootaloo had done to Theta with Sigma. They winced as their companions roared into their ears, threatening to deafen them as they galloped towards Sweet Apple Acres. As they neared neared the farm, however, they heard three more screams of agony coming from the farm. A deep, dark howl, a collected yell and a monotonous bellow. Over in Ponyville, Twilight was hearing the same cries coming from Church's room.

Church's mind now felt as if it was no longer the only one vying for control.

Insanity Loves Company

"What's happening to him?" Tex asked as she rushed into Church's room to see Twilight standing next to him.

"I don't know!" Twilight yelled as she painfully watched Church throw his head back into his pillow and yell.

"What are you doing?" Spike asked quickly when he saw Church's horn begin to glow. "Do something!"

"I'm open to suggestions." Twilight snapped, using her magic to pin Church in place lest he somehow harm himself.

"Can't you go into his mind and take some of the pain out?" Spike asked, and as soon as he finished his question Church let out a booming yell, nearly shattering their ear drums. "Okay, maybe not that then."

"Tex, can you use the thing that the others can do?" Twilight asked.

"And by that you mean?" Tex asked impatiently, having rather been told directly what to do than given a vague suggestion.

"That possession thing." Twilight sighed. "Can you go inside his mind and figure out what's wrong?"

"I don't know how." Tex said hesitantly.

"Darn it." Twilight cursed, but neither Tex or Spike heard it. Twilight slammed her eyes shut, knowing that taking even a sliver of the pain away would help Church greatly, she began using her magic to probe around for any small pains she could take in.

Suddenly, Church's horn flared into life and a solid bolt fired towards her.

"Twilight!" Tex yelped as she jumped towards Twilight, believing the bolt would kill her. Tex slammed into the ground and looked around quickly, thinking the bolt hit her into a wall, but Twilight was no longer in the room.

Twilight groaned softly as she rolled off of her back. She let out a shiver when she felt a numbness surround her. Eyes still closed, she used her magic to bring life back into her legs so she could go back and help Church. A voice came from behind her, so she opened her eyes and spun around to see who made the noise, but saw nopony or any other person. Instead, she saw hundreds upon hundreds of screens floating in the air around her, suspended by nothing. Each screen had a picture on it that was completely different than the others. One was a picture of the sun, one was a picture of a strange looking dragon standing next to Tucker, another was of the reds.

She then realized she somehow performed the exact task she requested Tex do. She was inside Church's head, and these pictures were a part of his imagination. She shook her head, snapping her sense back in place to find Church as to not waste time while he was in pain. She cast her gaze around in an attempt to see if Church was nearby, but the screens surrounded her and she could not see more than twenty feet in any direction. She took a deep breath, thinking of her options, when one of the floating screens bumped into her flank. Yelping with surprise, she jumped forward and spun around to see what hit her. There was a picture of a tall, white robot looking thing with a golden, bulbous helmet.

And it was moving.

Twilight paused. Not because of the fact that it was moving, but because she recognized the being from somewhere, something that Church had described to her the night that they met. It was the Meta. The Meta was running in the snow, heading straight towards a black being in more standardized looking armor. It then clicked into place and she realized that was Tex, and these shots weren't just a part of Church's imagination. All the pictures that were suspended in the air were his memories. An entire library of them. Knowing it to be an invasion of privacy to the nth degree, she shook her head to break her focus on them.

"Meta, wait!" A voice called out, bringing her attention back to the active memory.

The Meta didn't listen, instead it ran up to Tex and grabbed her throat, holding an apparent spike in his hand. Twilight's legs tensed when she realized what memory this was. The object Meta was holding was the Epsilon unit, that was going to fail in a matter of minutes.

"We don't need to hurt her, we only need-" The voice began, but Meta lifted Tex off the ground and slammed the failing Epsilon unit towards her visor.

"No!" Church yelled as Twilight closed her eyes.

After a few moments of silence, she reluctantly opened her eyes to see a still shot of the Meta stabbing Tex's face. Shaken, Twilight looked around, wanting to find Church and get out as fast as she could. Another memory flickered into life a few paces ahead. Twilight hesitantly walked towards it, hoping that by following the active memories she could find Church.

The memory she was approaching was already nearing it's end as Twilight trotted up to it. Church was standing on top of his base, at the time believing he was watching the universe around him fall apart. Tex had walked up to be with him, wanting to spend her last moments with him, and this made Twilight smile at her. She then focused on the memory to find out what they were talking about.

"Oh okay, wait a minute..." Tex interrupted annoyingly, interrupting Church. "Are you going to say 'I love you'?"

"No, Tex. No. I'm not going to say I love you... I'm going to say I forget you." Church sighed sadly, fingers clenching around his gun until it hurt. Twilight bit her lip, feeling the pain in his voice. "I forget you."

Twilight closed her eyes, knowing how hard it was for him to do that. All that pain. All that work. For nothing. She opened her eyes and quickly looked around for another active memory, but couldn't see any. What she did see was a few of the pictures listlessly converging to one point.

"Make them stop!" Church yelled. The real Church.

In an instant, Twilight was already running full speed towards the source of the voice. She ran past dozens of memories, each one beginning to play. She soon saw a collection of memories, possibly a few hundred, surrounding Church's translucent robot body, each one playing as he tried tearing his helmet off.

"Church!" Twilight yelled concernedly as she galloped in front of him. "Church, it's me, Twilight."

"Someone help me!" Church yelled, voice hoarse, almost as if he was yelling for years. She then realized that he was screaming for years. Church collapsed to his knees, whimpering and screaming at the same time. "Help..."

"Church, please listen to me! I'm here with you." Twilight said, wanting to hug him, but knew she would just pass through him. "It's going to be alright."

Something flashed from either side of Twilight, both flashes a different color. Ignoring them, thinking of them as only flashes from the memories, she went on her knees and laid next to Church to look after him, mind frantically trying to think of someway to help him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a gold-tan figure standing next to her. She snapped her neck towards it and snapped to her hooves to defend Church, when she saw a blue-green figure on his other side.

"Who are you?" Twilight asked, voice barely audible over Church's wails. Her eyes widened on the blue one. "Are you... Alpha?"

The blue figure shook its head and flipped Church onto his back. Twilight wanted to stop him, but felt that she needed to let it do whatever it was doing. The figure then grabbed Church's right hand with its left hand, murmuring something under it's breath.

"Make the voices stop!" Church groaned.

Twilight's horn began to glow, ready to attack it for hurting Church, but the tan figure placed its left hand on her neck. Twilight looked at it and it too shook its head, telling her not to interfere. The blue one then locked eyes with the tan one and shared a nod, then the one standing next to Twilight walked up to the other one and connected it's hands with Church and the other's free hands. When they did, Church instantly stopped screaming. Twilight let out a sigh of relief, happy they managed to help Church.

Or at least she thought, until she saw Church float to his feet. Now standing straight up with the two unknown beings, their bodies jerked forward. The two beings then seemingly phased into Church and he gasped loudly and the color of his armor became a mix of the three. He threw his head back and let out a soundless scream and the two beings shot out of him and crashed to the ground. They quickly got up and watched silently as Church panted on the ground, no longer able to scream.

"Who are you?" Twilight asked after making sure Church was alright.

The two figures looked at each other, but otherwise did nothing. Twilight took a deep breath and realized they would not talk to her, so she began walking towards them. The beings watched in silence as Twilight approached them.

"Are you two the source of his pain?" Twilight asked, forcing herself to be patient with them.

The blue one remained still, but the light brown colored one nodded glumly at her, confirming her suspicions.

"I need you two out of here. Now." Twilight said, more forceful than intended.

The blue being walked next to Twilight and held out its left hand, but she did not take it. It lightly thrusted its hand at her, inviting her to grab it, and now the tan one was doing the same with it's right hand. Their hands were connected with each other.

"Are you doing this to help Church?" Twilight asked quietly, and they nodded in unison.

She glanced at Church, whose hands were slammed against his helmet, violently trying to slam the pain out. She let out a sad sigh and nodded at the pair and grabbed onto their hooves, thinking they were going to use some of her power to help heal him, but instead they vanished from her sight. She closed her eyes and let out a gasp as she felt an intense pain entered her mind and she came back into the real world, feeling as if her mind was going to expand out of her skull. She collapsed to the ground and fought back the temptation of screaming.

"Twilight, are you okay?" Spike asked, rushing to his friends side.

"I-I think so." Twilight said shakily, senses coming back into control. She opened her eyes and Tex took a few steps back. "What's wrong?"

"You eyes..." Tex said quietly, voice filled with worry.

"What's wrong with them?" Twilight asked nervously.

Spike shared a wry look with Tex and pointed at the mirror on the cabinet next to the bed. As she looked at the mirror, she noticed Church was now sleeping, face no longer filled with pain. She smiled tightly at him, happy that they helped him. As soon as she looked at the mirror, however, the smile was lost in an instant. One of her eyes was now an off blue, and the other was brown.

Unfavorable Outcomes

"Twilight, did you go into Church's head? How did you do it? And why are your eyes like that?" Spike asked as Twilight continued staring at the mirror. She didn't answer, so Spike turned to Tex and raised a brow. "What's wrong with her?"

"They were in there, weren't they?" Tex asked quietly, keeping her eyes glued to Twilight's reflection.

"What? Who are you talking about?"

"Eta and Iota." Tex replied hesitantly, and Twilight felt as if a small needle poked her brain, causing her to grunt. "This isn't good."

"What isn't go-"

"Eta and Iota are two other fragments. They were originally given to Carolina together, even though she was told how dangerous it was." Tex shook her head slowly.

"How dangerous was it?" Twilight asked, but her words came out as a painful croak.

"They ended up driving her crazy."

"That's not good." Twilight grunted. "What am I going to do?"

"I don't know. I think we should-" Tex started, but was interrupted when there was a knock on the door.

"Are you guys alright in there?" Rainbow Dash called from outside.

"No, we're not." Twilight called back. "What are you doing here?"

"Why, can't I drop by on my favorite egghead to see how she's doing?" Rainbow Dash chuckled loudly.

"Should we let her in?" Spike asked quietly.

"I-I'm not sure." Twilight replied honestly, eyes flicking towards Tex. "Do you think they can jump out of my head and into hers?"

"No, I don't think so." Tex shook her head. "If they could then they would have earlier."

"You guys still there?" Rainbow Dash yelled.

Twilight nodded at Spike and he darted down the stairs to get Rainbow Dash, while Twilight turned her attention back to the mirror, wondering if she was going to suffer the same fate as Carolina. Tex walked next to her, not sure what to say to her to make her more at ease. She glanced over at Church, whose eyelids were now fluttering open. Tex looked back at Twilight and tapped on her back.

"You're awake!" Twilight said happily, trotting up to his side.

"Am I?" Church asked breathlessly, staring at the ceiling. "How do I know I'm still not dreaming?"

"I could hit you if you want." Tex suggested.

"Yup, that sounded like the real Tex, and not the completely docile, non-psychotic person in my dreams."

"In your dreams I'm nice?" Tex asked abrasively.

"You're right, even there you're pretty bad." Church sighed, then saw Twilight's eyes and raised his brow. "What's with your eyes?"

"You... don't remember?" Twilight asked.

"What do I look like? The living embodiment of memory?" Church asked sarcastically. "But no, I don't remember anything for... wait, how long was I out for?"

"I'm not too sure, I wasn't keeping track. Couldn't have been more than an hour though."

The door swung open and a pair of ponies walked in with Spike. Church let out an annoyed groan.

"I missed you too, buddy." Tucker smirked.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Church asked sadly, feeling another headache already coming on.

"Tucker heard some screaming and he was getting some pretty bad ideas about you guys, so I had to prove him wrong by making sure you guys weren't... well, you know." Rainbow Dash said sheepishly, staring at the ground. She then glanced up and made eye contact with Twilight. "Uh, Twi? Your eyes-"

"Yes, I know." Twilight sighed, looking at Church.

"Did Church give you that multicolored eye thing?" Tucker asked.

"Heterochromia iridum, and no, he didn't." Twilight said, then thought for a moment. "Actually, in a way I guess he did."

"I did?" Church inquired with surprise. "Pretty sure I'd remember doing something like that."

"You may have been screaming and in intense pain when you did so."

"Man, always knew Church was a screamer. Bow-chicka-bow-wowwwwwhy did I go there?" Tucker asked in a depressed tone. "Now i can't get that image out of my head."

"Good, bet you like hearing me scream, don't you Tuck-"

"Shut up!" Tucker yelled. "I'm not gay! You're the gay robot, not me!"

"Both of you, shut up." Tex snapped angrily at the pair. "This is serious."

"Right." Church rolled his eyes. "Come on, two different colored eyes is nothing to be-"

"Eta and Iota are in Twilight's head!" Tex snarled.

"Come again?" Church asked, staring suspiciously at Twilight.

"Twilight tried to take some of the pain out of your head again, but this time she got dragged into your head."

"Twilight went into my head?" Church inquired, eyes growing more curious. "How did she do it? And please, don't just say magic."

"By... I don't know, I assume them." Tex shrugged. "Or maybe even you."

"What the hell are we even talking about?" Tucker grunted.

"Tucker, shut up." Church said, eyes still on Twilight. "What happened next?"

Twilight looked away from Church and coughed, knowing that if she told him what happened he would most likely get angry. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes, expecting to see him glaring at her, but his eyes were glossy, scared over Twilight's well being.

"When I went into your head, I found myself surrounded by pictures. Not just pictures, but memories that I could watch by simply focusing on them. At first I tried to not look away, but I figured that I had to follow memories that were playing to find you.

"You watched my memories?" Church asked, again, still more worried than angry.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. How many and which memories did you see?"

"Only a few." Twilight promised, frowning at Tex. "I saw Tex die. Twice. Once by the Meta, and again by you "forgetting" her."

"I see." Church said, seeing Tex's eyes go soft. "Then?"

"Then I found you. Surrounded by memories, screaming at you to remember them. I ran up to you to help you, but you couldn't hear me. That was when Eta and Iota came by. They tried becoming one with you, but couldn't, so they held out their hands to me..."

"What did you do next?" Church asked, though he already knew the answer.

Twilight shook her head and sat on the ground, ignoring his queries.

"Twilight. What. Did. You. Do?" Church asked firmly.

"I thought they were just going to use my magic to help you. I didn't know they were going to go inside me, I promise!"

A green flash filled the room, making all but Church and Twilight shield their eyes. All of Church's attention was focused on his friend, while Twilight's attention was on keeping the two fragments out of the nerve center of her brain, frantically using magic to prevent them from getting any deeper. After a few seconds, all five ponies and a small dragon glanced at Delta, whom was standing next to Twilight, examining her eyes thoroughly.

"Is it Eta and Iota?" Delta asked and Tex nodded. "It is as I thought then. You all remember what happened in the catacombs, correct? The other fragments and I inhabited the statues that surrounded Epsilon when he used the revival spell on Caboose. The reason we did was because we were stronger fragments. You see, every time a fragment got created, they became weaker and weaker, thus could not make it to the statues before us. Instead, they had to return to their inactive state in Epsilon's mind."

"Wait, if it brought back the strongest ones, then why didn't the Alpha or whatever get brought back?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Because Epsilon already is the Alpha's memory, therefore couldn't have been brought back since Epsilon already is in an active state, while we were dormant memories."

"Dormant memories?" Tucker asked. "You mean like repressed memories?"

"Not quite, Tucker." Delta continued. "There are three types of memories that Epsilon has; the first being active memories, ones that he can recollect at any given time. The next one being dormant memories. These memories aren't forced deep into his mind to forget them like repressed one. They are simply ones that he cannot recall when he chooses, but have to be triggered to relive. Ones that give him immense pain when he remembers. The other fragments and I were dormant memories before we were revived by the Necronomicon's evil magic. Then there are inactive memories, ones that are in limbo between being active and dormant, much like repressed memories, which is what I assume Eta and Iota were."

"The book uses dark magic." Tucker corrected him jokingly. "Totally not evil."

"Of course not." Church muttered. "You know, I've been wondering about it for a while now; do you know why Gary and O'Malley are not the colors they originally were supposed to be? Did you guys just become the colors of the ponies that the statues represented?"

"No, we became the colors that we were most comfortable in. The majority of us were fine, but since Omega has a fondness for blood and violence, he became the color of that which he constantly threatens to spill rather than his technically natural darker tone. Gamma, on the other hand, settled on a different color overall, subconsciously willing to be unrecognizable to us."

"Don't waste time talking about our damn color schemes, get your head straight and focus on the actual damn problem so we can find a solution!" Tex growled. "I'm tired of everyone I know going crazy!"

"I already know the only ways this can end, but none of them are happy endings." Delta said reluctantly.

"Just tell us." Twilight said softly. "I need to know what we can do."

"Very well. The first option is you allow Eta and Iota to stay in you, though I do not recommend that since you will most likely lose your sanity."

"What's the next option?" Church asked when Delta fell silent.

"The next two are giving them to someone else, or trying to use the Necronomicon to give them a new body." Delta said quietly, lightly shaking his head. "Again, I highly discourage those actions. Aside from those three options, I am afraid there is only one left."

The room fell silent for a minute, nobody daring to ask what it is, fearing they all already knew. Twilight glanced at Rainbow Dash and Tucker, who stared at each other with sad curiosity. She then glanced at Spike, who didn't know what to make of his words. Then at Tex, who was staring at Church.

"And what would that be?" Twilight asked when she finally looked at Church, whose face was filled with remorse.

"Death." Delta said glumly.

Buttering Up

"Twilight can die?" Spike asked innocently, staring at his foster mother.

"That depends on how strong her will is." Delta responded. "Her mind is exceptionally strong, so I have no worries about her ending her life before she goes crazy.

"Have you noticed that ever since the guys came here our lives became at stake a lot more often?" Rainbow Dash asked flatly.

"Really? It's been the opposite for us." Tucker muttered.

"Very funny." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't joking."

"So what are we going to do?" Twilight asked, still staring at the mirror, worried about the future that she may no longer have a hope of seeing.

"I'm not going to let you die, and I'm certainly not going to let you go insane. It's either we find them some new bodies, or we make them go into someone else."

"Giving them to somepony else wouldn't be fair, Church." Twilight argued. "You know that."

"So then find them a new body. Can't be so difficult, right?"

"I suppose not, but do we really need two more of our brothers running around, threatening to wreak havoc?" Delta asked.

"No, but what we really don't need are the other three outcomes."

"Why can't one of you fragments take them into your head?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Because it would drive us more mad than it would to Twilight." Delta explained. "Fragments were not meant to be paired, so adding a third to the pair just complicates matters. You see, unlike freelancers where fragments reside in their armor, fragments in this world reside in a certain part of your mind. And just like freelancer armor, once the area assigned to fragments is taken, adding another damages them, and in turn damages the mind that they're inhabiting. Since the ponies in this world don't use armor for the fragments to inhabit, they go into a certain part of your mind instead, thus making even one fragment dangerous if given prolonged exposure to a brain."

"So it would be like trying to squeeze three of you into one brain." Twilight sighed.

"Precisely."

"How did you know they came back though?" Church asked curiously. "Did you hear me scream?"

"The other fragments and I are more connected to you than ever, Epsilon. Almost as much as we were to the Alpha back then. Whenever you relive certain memories involving us, we recall them as well. With Eta and Iota in your brain, they were recalling their first training session with Carolina, at which most of us were present. At that training session..." Delta trailed off and stared at Twilight, not saying precisely what happened due to wanting to keep Twilight's brain intact. "Well, you know. All freelancers with fragments, as well as the fragments themselves, experienced incredible migraines during that moment. Since they were residing in Epsilon, not only did they remember what happened, they fully re-experienced it, feeling all that they felt during that moment. At that time, we fragments remembered dozens of memories involving the trigger that caused the migraines as well."

"So those memories that surrounded Church weren't just his own, but were also the memories of the other fragments?" Twilight gasped.

"Yes, Twilight."

"Wow, no wonder he had a headache." Tex said.

"Wait a second, if all the fragments experienced the headaches, then why didn't Tex? She's probably the most deserving of it." Tucker said, then winked at Tex. "No offense."

"None taken." Tex grunted.

"That is a complicating matter, one that we should deliberate on during a later occasion." Delta said. "Epsilon, since you wish to find a pair of bodies for Eta and Iota, I recommend you go speak with the Necronomicon. He is most likely the knowledgeable one in this situation, even if I feel it is impossible."

"Why would it be impossible?" Rainbow Dash asked. "He did it before, so he can do it again to those two."

"Not exactly. Eta and Iota were essentially paired since the beginning. They have more or less become a single entity, so I am not entirely sure splitting them up is possible."

Church nodded instantly and walked out the door into his room and promptly headed down the stairs. The Necronomicon was sitting on the table, basking in the silence of the library.

"Hey, Ol' Necky, ol' pal." Church greeted merrily as he walked up to the ancient book. "How are you doing on this fine day?"

"Why, I'm doing just fine, thank you for asking." The Necronomicon said happily.

"How's Daring Do? Relationship still running smoothly I hope."

"As smooth as a freshly laminated page." The Necronomicon chuckled. "I hope you don't find this rude, but what's with your sudden change of personality? Did somepony mess with your head?"

"No, no, no... well, yes, Twilight did, but that's besides the point." Church coughed. "I just realized how rude I was to you for the past while, so I wanted to make amends."

"That's very commendable." The Necronomicon noted thoughtfully. "I suppose I have to apologize to you now, don't I?"

"Don't worry about it, I'm not going to ask for an apology from you, I'd rather you decided when you felt the time was right."

"I see..." The Necronomicon murmured dubiously. "What do you really want?"

"What? Nothing!" Church said, shocked. "I feel hurt that you would put such an accusation on me."

"Right, sorry." The Necronomicon said sincerely.

"Though, now that you mention it-"

"I knew it!" The Necronomicon huffed.

"Listen, the fireball Spike hit me with a few days ago did a number on my head. And by did a little number on my head, I mean that it sort of freed up two of the other fragments. And by freed up two other fragments, I mean that I somehow dragged Twilight into my head and now the fragments reside in her and will make her go crazy if we don't do anything about it. So... do you know any other places where there are statues for them to take control of?"

"Not off the top of my header."

"Clever." Church grunted.

"Thank you." The Necronomicon laughed. "I'm being honest. I really do not know anywhere we could go, but that is because no ordinary statue will do. There has to be a magical presence in the area around the statue. Like there was in the catacombs."

"What if I go near a pair of statues and started shooting off random spells?"

"That would not work. The magic in that area was built up for decades, a few measly spells wouldn't provide anywhere near enough power to make a spell of that degree to work."

"But it's not like last time where they were brought back from the dead. Don't you know any spells to put someone's spirit into something else?"

"No, do you?" The Necronomicon asked sarcastically.

"Listen, if you aren't going to take this seriously, I will take all the Daring Do books outside and light them on fire."

"You wouldn't..."

"Don't test me." Church growled. "Now try to at least put some thought into it. Are you sure there is no place else we could go?"

"Not unless you want to go to Canterlot and risk the Princesses finding out about me."

"Dammit." Church sighed, slumping into the chair. "There's nothing else we can do them. It's either she's damned, or some other innocent becomes damned."

"I'm sorry. Would ice cream cheer you up?" The Necronomicon asked.

"I don't think so."

"What if I give you words of encouragement?"

"No."

"What if I took the fragments into my own conscious?"

"You can do that?" Church asked hopefully.

"No, but it's the thought that counts." The Necronomicon said quietly. "Though what if it wasn't an innocent the fragments went inside?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean what if you give them to the Princesses?"

"No, I may not like Celestia, but I'm not going to do that to her." Church mumbled, slamming his head onto the table. "Why is life such an asshole to me?"

"Karma?"

"That would probably make more sense. Are you sure that there are no other statues near the catacombs? Maybe deeper inside?"

"No. There are ornamental statues, but none that represent anything other than art or magic." The Necronomicon said roughly.

"And the only other place with enough magic is in Canterlot, right?" Church said with an annoyed sigh.

"Only place that's within a close enough distance, yeah."

"Damn." Church hissed. "Guess I know what my plans are for tonight..."

Subject to Change

Simmons swung open the door to the Carousel Boutique and threw Sweetie Belle inside and onto the couch. He nervously glanced around, making sure they weren't followed, then rolled inside and shut the door with his magic.

"Simmons, you're acting weird." Sweetie Belle muttered as he paced around her. "Why are you acting weird?"

"Weird? I'm not acting weird. What makes you think I'm acting weird?"

"Maybe because you kind of ran all the way here with your tail between your legs..."

"Oh, that." Simmons said, forcing himself to laugh. "I was just doing that to... I'll think of a reason later."

"Okay, then what about you looking around like most people do when they're scared?"

"What? Are you saying I can't look around and take in the surrounding area? Do you not like Ponyville, is that it?" Simmons asked hastily.

"Simmons, back from the store already?" Rarity called from upstairs.

"Yeah. I decided not to get anything, but I stopped by the orchard and picked up Sweetie Belle."

"That's nice." Rarity said as she walked out of her room. "Did you have a fun day, Sweetie?"

"You should have seen it, Rarity! Two new colts came into class today and they got picked on by those fillies I tell you about."

"Why would I want to see that?" Rarity asked quietly.

"Well, you wouldn't, but these colts didn't just let her make fun of them. Well, one of them did, but the other one made fun of Silver Spoon. It was so funny the way they backed off!"

"Sweetie!"

"What?" Sweetie Belle asked innocently. "They had it coming..."

"Even so, hurting somepony's feelings should never be something you enjoy. What were these colts names?"

"It's not that big of a dea-"

"Sweetie, I simply wish to speak with their parents about this."

"I don't think their parents live around here though."

"Are they living with a sibling then? Perhaps I should speak with them."

"They do have a brother who lives in town, but right now they're staying with Applebloom and her family. Their names are Theta and Sigma, and-"

"You mean the fra-" Rarity began, blanched face, but saw Simmons shake his head violently behind Sweetie Belle's back. "You mean Church's... brothers?"

"Yeah, did you meet them already?"

"I've had the pleasure of meeting Sigma, yes." Rarity nodded hesitantly. "Do you by any chance know how many brothers Church has?"

"I think it's just those two." Sweetie Belle shrugged.

"I certainly hope they feel most welcome in town after that ordeal with those girls."

"I'll say. Theta and Sigma are actually nice guys. We talked to them and then invited to join the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but instead they formed a less girly sounding group that will work with us called the Stud Stamp Sidekicks. Oh, I should probably get started on their cape design!"

Sweetie Belle trotted into the kitchen to start brainstorming, humming a tune that Simmons had taught her while she did so.

"Rarity, can you clarify something for me?" Simmons asked quietly once Sweetie Belle had disappeared.

"Certainly."

"Doesn't the proper usage for the word stud mean a stalllion that-"

"Yes." Rarity interrupted quietly. "Sometimes colts and fillies pick up words from adults without knowing what they mean, then use them as regular words."

"But where could Sweetie have learned that word?" Simmons asked.

"Maybe we should change the subject." Rarity coughed, then smiled at Simmons. "I think I'm just about ready to do the designs, I just need a teensy-weensy bit more inspiration."

"That's good." Simmons said with a sigh of relief. "I was starting to think we'd never get started on those."

"You really are getting stressed over the due date, aren't you?" Rarity asked, looking at Simmons's tired eyes.

"I've never missed a deadline in my life, and I have no plans on starting now." Simmons muttered.

"I just thought you'd think I know what I'm doing by now. Don't you trust me?"

"I know you know what you're doing, but I also know that I never had to wait this long to get started on a project."

"Well I can guarantee to you that it will only be a few nights until we get going."

"Is that a promise?" Simmons asked. Rarity nodded, so Simmons sighed happily. "Thank you."

"Not at all. Now, I've ordered delivery from one of the local cafes, so now we just need to sit back and relax while we wait for the food to arrive." Rarity said, then gasped.

"What is it?" Simmons asked, twisting his head around to check for Sigma.

"I left out some of my modal near Opal and she just loves to practice her clawing techniques on it's rich fibers." Rarity said, galloping towards the stairs in a panic. "I will be right down in a second, I just need to make sure Opal doesn't ruin anything. The food shouldn't get here all that soon, but if it does just answer the door and tell them to put it on my tab."

"Okay." Simmons said as Rarity zipped up the stairs to check on her precious fabric.

"Opal, don't you dare touch that!" Rarity yelped, and Simmons heard nothing else but the sound of a cat hissing, followed by a hissing sound, then one of Rarity shrieking.

Much to Simmons's pleasure, somebody knocked on the front door a few times. Simmons smiled and trotted up to the door and cleared his throat, but before he could say anything the door got knocked on, but faster this time.

"I'm here, hold on." Simmons said as he began opening the door with his magic. "Rarity said that you can put it on her tab, so-"

"Not sure about you, but I don't have a tab." Church grunted when Simmons had fully opened the entrance.

"What are you doing here?" Simmons asked.

"Just wondering, did you hear any screaming an hour or so ago."

"Yeah, I think some kids were playing just outside the boutique before I got here and were being a little too loud." Simmons muttered, tilting his head as he tried remembering. "But when I came in sight of the boutique they were gone, so I assume Rarity shooed them away. Why do you ask?"

"That screaming may or may not have been me." Church grunted.

"That was you? Were you in the library?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus, you must have yelled pretty damn loud for me to have heard that."

"I was. Listen, I'm going to just run you by the basics. Eta and Iota-"

"Other fragments?" Simmons asked, then bowed his head when Church gave him a small glare.

"But yeah, they are. Anyways, turns out in the catacombs the Necronomicon revived those two as well, but there were no bodies for them to take control of, so instead they went back into my head. But they hid deeper down so I didn't feel anything until Spike hit me with a fireball, then they got brought back to the forefront of my mind for some reason, probably to make up for the lack of sense I had while I was unconscious."

"And what does that have to do with me?"

"Twilight sort of went into my head and the two fragments went into her head from there. Since there aren't any more statues in those ruins, I'm bringing Twilight and the Necronomicon on a train to Canterlot to find some statues to put them into in less than an hour. And before you ask, the answer is no. As stupid as it is, they can't inhabit regular statues. They need to be in an area that constantly has magic used near it."

"So why do I have to come?" Simmons asked curiously. "Why not get Tucker or Caboose to go help you?"

Church lifted his right brow and stared at Simmons contemptibly.

"Right, sorry." Simmons said when he realized what he had said.

"It's not just because they're incompetent, but you actually know that thing to hold others in place. I might need you to do that to the fragments if they get released and try to run. And the fact that you're not loud as hell is a bonus too."

"Sure, give me a minute." Simmons said, closing the door to the boutique. He trotted into the main room where Sweetie Belle was currently working on the design for the colts's capes. "Hey, Sweetie Belle, do you think you'll need my help any time soon?"

"No, I'm good." Sweetie said without turning away from her designs, much like her sister would.

"Alright, can you tell Rarity that I'll be out for a few hours?" Simmons asked.

"Uh, okay. Where should I tell her you went to?"

"Tell her I'm going to Canterlot with Twilight, so I won't be able to make it to dinner."

"Why are you going to Canterlot with Twilight?" Sweetie Belle inquired.

"No reason." Simmons said, tight-lipped.

"Are you going on a date with her?"

"A... what? No!" Simmons coughed awkwardly. "Twilight wanted me to help her study some statues in the Canterlot gardens for, uh, magic purposes."

"Okay, I'll tell her." Sweetie Belle nodded as she scratched out her design.

"Great." Simmons said quickly.

"Simmons, what do you think of my-" Sweetie Belle started, but stopped when she saw Simmons was no longer in the room. She scowled and began drawing on her paper again. "-Design. Okay, now I know Simmons is weird..."

Plus One

"Did you hear about Sigma?" Simmons asked Church as they neared the library.

"What about him?" Church asked quickly, already thinking about the worst things that he could have done.

"Apparently him and Theta were getting picked on by some girls at the school, then Sigma stuck up for them."

"Thank god." Church said, relieved that he didn't get in trouble. "I thought he might have done something terrible. If all he did was that, then there might be some hope for him yet."

"Do you really think that?"

"Of course not, it's just nice to think optimistically every now and again, even if it is for just a few seconds." Church chuckled dryly.

"Yeah..." Simmons said quietly. "Do you think they'll ever fit in."

"Maybe for a few months, but I know something will happen to ruin it all. We can't hide this from Celestia for forever, but when she finds out I have to hope that they haven't done anything too stupid by then."

"Worried about what they might do to Ponyville?" Simmons inquired politely, looking around at the undamaged, peaceful town that surrounded them.

"No, I just don't want any of the girls to get in trouble because of me." Church sighed.

"Do you think Celestia would really punish the girls for something the other fragments did? I mean, I know you don't like her so you probably think she'll do the worst, but do you really think she'd hold the girls accountable?"

"You know what I said about being optimistic for a few seconds? I can't be optimistic for longer than that otherwise I'd get my hopes up too much."

"True, but aren't you supposed to hope for the best while you prepare for the worst?"

"Yeah, but I'm not good at the first part."

"Do you think you should work on that?"

"No." Church stated simply,before speeding up. "Come on, we're almost there."

"Right." Simmons said as he matched Church's speed.

Church and Simmons stopped in front of the library, where Church promptly opened the door and walked inside unannounced. Simmons paused by the door, closed it, then politely knocked on the door three times.

"For fuc- just come in." Church growled.

"Sorry." Simmons said, jumping into the library. He saw Twilight rubbing the area next to her right eye. "Twilight."

"Hello." Twilight smiled forcibly. "I hope you didn't have any plans tonight."

"Things have been pretty slow lately. Only thing we've had to do in the past while was a few dresses and that big order."

"She still hasn't started that?"

"No, but she says it can't be that much longer." Simmons said, then lowered his head. "Though she has said that a few times."

"Hopefully this time she means it. Usually she's on top of every order she gets."

"That's why I'm worried that-"

"Ladies, can we stop talking about clothing and start worrying about, oh, I don't know, the thing that could ruin Twilight's life?" Church asked snappishly, walking into the library to grab the Necronomicon.

"Right." Twilight nodded. "I put a bag for you to wear next to him."

"This is great!" The Necronomicon said skittishly. "So what's the plan?"

"We have to sneak you in." Church said as he strapped on the bag and flipped it open. "Even if somebody doesn't know exactly what you are, going around with a book that looks like you and talks would be like walking around with a giant neon sign."

"Oh, what fun!" The Necronomicon chuckled as Twilight put him in the bag.

"That means you have to be quiet."

"That's not so fun..." The Necronomicon muttered when Twilight closed the bag.

"Now, the train leaves soon and we can't miss it otherwise we'll have to wait until tomorrow to go up there." Church said, turning his attention towards his two allies. "That means whatever you have to do, be it going to the bathroom or checking to make sure you turned the stove off, it'll have to wait. I don't want Twilight to have to go through the same thing I did when it comes to the sanity department."

"Yeah, having two of you wouldn't be the best thing." Simmons muttered quietly.

"What?"

"Nothing." Simmons said quickly, standing straight.

"That's what I thought. Let's move." Church grunted, walking out the front door.

Simmons and Twilight nodded at each other and trotted after him. Twilight walked next to Church while Simmons hung back a few paces, thinking to himself. They quickly arrived at the train station, where the train to Canterlot had just arrived. Church quickened his pace, intent on being on that train early if not sooner.

"Wait for me!" Someone called out from Church's left.

The trio looked over to see a familiar white unicorn with a purple mane trot up to them, small bag on her back with a visible sketchpad sticking out.

"Rarity, what are you doing here?" Twilight asked.

"You see, I was wondering where could I find inspiration for pre-Celestial reign based clothing, then Sweetie Belle told me where you were going and it became obvious. The Canterlot Gardens! There are dozens of statues there of famous ponies from various points in history." Rarity explained. "Just being able to walk around the statues, absorbing the details from every angle will be simply divine for my inspiration."

"Didn't the book I give you have pictures in it?"

"Well, yes, but there is nothing quite like the real thing." Rarity smiled, then tilted her head towards the train. "Shall we get our tickets?"

"Rarity, we aren't going there for a pleasant walk." Church sighed, not wanting to be late for the train.

"I know, Sweetie said it was for magic purposes. Though I don't know how studying a statue is magical, I know Twilight knows what she's doing." Rarity shrugged, then looked at Twilight. "Isn't that right, darling?"

"Magic is only part of the reason." Twilight said, horn giving off a small glow as she removed the illusion spell from her eyes.

"Twilight, why didn't you tell me you got contacts?" Rarity asked with a giggle. "Though I'm not sure why you got them with differing colors."

"These aren't contacts. These are-" Twilight mumbled quickly, then let out a pained moan. "Two more fragments came back, but they had to go back into Church's brain. This gave him migraines, so I tried taking the pain away, ended up inside his head, then the fragments in turn went into my mind. Now we have to find them new bodies or I'll go insane. And that is as literal as it can get."

"Then what are we waiting for?" Rarity asked worriedly. "You three get on the train this instant, the tickets are my treat."

"Are you sure?" Twilight asked, horn glowing to take some bits out of Church's bag. "I brought-"

"Twilight, I insist. Get on the train, first cabin behind the pilot cart. I'll be there in a few moments."

"Thanks." Church said with genuine warmth, already walking towards the train with the others. "Glad to see she isn't wasting any time."

"Why can't she be that way with the order?" Simmons asked analytically.

"You can think about that when the trains moving." Church said as he started to board the train, then fell to the floor as he bumped into a stallion. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry about it." The ticket collector from a few weeks ago muttered. "You!"

"Oh, hey." Church coughed as he got off the ground. "Did you guys fix those seats?"

"Yes, we did." The ticket collector said slowly.

"Don't worry, the one that tore the chairs isn't here." Church said, sensing his unease.

"It's the one that tore into me that I'm worried about."

"She's not here either." Church chuckled knowingly.

"Thank Celestia for small mercies." The collector sighed happily. "Do you have your tickets?"

"Not yet, our friend is grabbing them." Twilight said.

"Alright, just get on." The collector said as he moved out of the way of the door. "And this time I hope that the train, as well as myself, remain intact."

"I can't make that promise." Church said as he walked into the train with the others.

Flawed Plans

"Okay, we're here." Twilight said quietly as they reached the entrance to the Canterlot gardens. Twilight looked at the steadily rising moon, judging the time they had to do what they had to do. "There shouldn't be any guards in here, so we don't have to worry that much about being caught. Really, the worst thing that could happen is somepony that recognizes me sees me, then tells the princess that they saw us here."

"But we could just play it off as visiting." Church noted, then glanced at his bags. "Just as long as the book doesn't do anything stupid."

"You'll do something stupid." The Necronomicon mumbled quietly.

"Come on." Twilight grunted, eyes quickly flashing from light blue and tan to their regular, purple color, then changed back to the fragments's tinges. "I think they might be getting stronger."

The three other unicorns nodded at her, and began following her as she lead them through the gardens. The moon shone brightly in the night's sky, giving off a blue-white light on the ground that surrounded them. They slowly swept through the area, checking for any statues that would be suitable to hold the fragments. Rarity let out a gasp and darted towards one of the statues near the center of the garden.

"Rarity..." Twilight whispered, trying to call her friend back to her side.

"Oh my, this is remarkable. Absolutely remarkable!" Rarity said in awe.

"What?" Church asked, hastily making his way to Rarity, believing she had found a good pair of statues. Instead, he found her swooning over a likeness of a female unicorn wearing an extravagantly designed dress.

"Just look at the detail! If they put this much work into the stonework, imagine how well the dress looked!" Rarity said, legs quivering with excitement. Her head snapped to another statue and she gasped. "Oh, and that one!"

"Rarity, please try to concentrate." Twilight begged.

"Oh, but I am concentrating, darling." Rarity retorted.

"I don't mean on the dresses." Twilight groaned, but Rarity had already started towards another group of statues. With a reluctant sigh she walked after Rarity, but looked at Church while she did so. "I'll try to get her mind back on track. You two just keep looking."

Simmons and Church nodded at her, so she smiled and gave chase after Rarity.

"Like a kid at a candy store, huh?" Church muttered as he looked around the gardens, hoping to find a suitable thing for them.

"A little bit. At least now it seems that she is close to being ready, and-" Simmons stopped when he had a small, nagging thought. "Uh, Church?"

"Not now."

"But it's kind of important." Simmons argued quietly, but Church ignored him. "Kind of really important."

"What is it?" Church asked, not really paying attention.

"Won't the guards or the princesses noticed a pair of statues missing out of the garden?"

"Fuck!" Church growled, almost reaching a full scream. "I didn't think of that."

"What are we going to do then? Give up?"

"No, there has to be..." Church trailed off, forming an impromptu idea. "Hang on."

"What?" Simmons asked, but Church waved the question as he pulled the Necronomicon out of the bag.

"Hey, I was just having the most delightful dream." The Necronomicon yawned. "Oh well, perhaps I'll see you arrested soon in real life as well. Are you ready to get this show on the road?"

"Not right now. Listen, Simmons just brought up a good point; two statues missing out of the gardens would be way to obvious and would be suspicious seeing as we were the only ones in here for the night."

"Hm. Didn't think about that." The Necronomicon said simply.

"I know. Neither did I. I was just thinking... do you have any lame ass deus ex machina that could overcome that little obstacle?"

"Uh, I don't know, maybe. Let me think." The Necronomicon mused. "What if I create an illusion spell over where the statues were. This will make it seem like the statues are still there, when in reality they are gone."

"You can do that? Perfe-"

"Of course I can't do it!"

"Then why did you say you could?"

"I just wanted to see if you'd believe anything as long as the explanation is "it's magic". Lo and behold..." The Necronomicon chuckled.

"Fuck you." Church hissed. "I swear, if you weren't immortal, I'd total-"

"Church. Necky. Stop arguing!" Twilight said, galloping at him.

"Let him do it, arguing is the only thing he has going for him." The Necronomicon commented.

"I swear to-"

"Stop! Both of you, please." Twilight said, but this time there was a hint of desperation in her voice.

"What's wrong? You never seemed to have cared that much when we argued before."

"Yeah, but in the library you never risked full blown chaos." Twilight gritted her teeth, pointing her hoof to Church's right.

Church looked to where she was pointing and saw a large, snake like being, standing straight up, face appearing as it was screaming, arms outstretched. It had a horse's head and mane with a pair of mismatched antlers atop it's head, one was a goat's horn while the other was a deers. It also had one large fang, mismatched pupils and a small beard. Instead of regular horse legs, it's right arm was that of a lion, and had an eagle's talon instead of a left hoof, while it's legs seemed to belong to both a goat and a lizard. It also had a bat's wing and a pegasus wing on it's back, and it's tail was that of a dragon with a small patch of white fur at the tip of the tail.

"What? They still haven't put that idiot in the area under the castle?" The Necronomicon snapped. "Another reason Celestia is a fool..."

"What is it?" Church asked.

"That's Discord, the draconequus you read about back a ways." Twilight explained.

"The one that you and the girls beat with the Elements, right?"

"That's the one."

"Necky is right, why the fuck hasn't Celestia put him somewhere not in the open?"

"Church, now is not the time. Chaos is what wakes him from his cage. Arguing weakens the harmonic bond that entraps him." Twilight said as she checked for cracks in the stone, but could not find any. Satisfied, she nodded in the direction she believed Rarity was, then walked that way with Simmons until she saw Church had hung back. "Church, are you coming?"

"Yeah." Church said quietly, walking towards her, eyes still glued onto the being of chaos.

"Is something on your mind?" Twilight asked nervously, thinking that Church was tempted to wake him.

"Must be peaceful in there."

"Huh?"

"Trapped in stone. Nothing to worry about except for birds shitting on you during the day." Church laughed.

"When you put it that way." Twilight said, joining his laugh. "Though it would be kind of lonely, don't you think?"

"I don't know, being trapped in stone from a few years would be a nice vacation from the others."

"I think I found it!" Rarity exclaimed from the other side of the garden.

"What? Your inspiration or the thing we'll put the fragments in?" Simmons asked.

"Both!" Rarity squealed with excitement.

"Great!" Church said quickly, running towards her voice. "I guess Celestia will just have to wonder where the statues went."

The three ponies, and their book accomplice, soon found Rarity standing in front of a statue, smiling brightly at them. Church approached it slowly and began to look it over with a critical eye. After giving it a few once overs, he stepped next to Twilight and narrowed his glare at them.

"Something wrong?" Twilight asked, noticing how heavily he was taking this decision.

"Nothing could be wrong! Just look at their delightful attire." Rarity said.

"Yeah, their clothes really seal the deal." Church said sarcastically, dropping the Necronomicon in front of him. "I don't think we an be too choosey at this point in time, so Celestia will just have to deal with two missing statues. Let's just get this over with and get out."

Bitter Dreams

North Dakota fell to his knees, wheezing as blood filled his lungs. He pressed his hand up to his rib and heard a small crack, followed by an intense pain. He sighed, knowing some of his ribs were broken. He looked around and saw a white figure walking towards him from the distance, but he remained on his knees, trying to stay brave for the being that hid in his head. A small orange light appeared next to him, then said something in a hushed voice. The figure hung it's head and stood still, waiting for North to fall down. After a few minutes of wrestling with his nerves, North fell onto his back and shuddered as he stared up at the sky.

"South..." North whispered.

Another light appeared in his vision, but this one was red, blue and purple, colors trying not to mix with each other.

"Theta... go back... inside." North commanded feebly. "It's not... safe... out here."

"North, what's going on?"

Theta's friend remained silent, chest heaving slowly, unable to find the strength needed to speak to his friend. Theta matched his silence for a few minutes, thinking over the situation when he saw multiple streams of blood coming out of multiple lacerations in his armor.

"North, are you okay?" Theta asked quietly as he came out of his friend's helmet to talk to him face to face.

North tilted his head to the side, pain coursing through every inch of his body with each small movement. The male Dakota lifted a shaky hand towards Theta. He clenched all but his index finger and was a quarter of an inch from poking Theta's chest. Theta stared curiously at his finger, then grabbed it with his color shifting hand.

"Stay... safe... buddy..." North coughed blood into his helmet with every word, fighting to stay alive as long as he could.

"North?" Theta pushed as North began lowering his hand to the ground.

North's breaths quickly became shorter and more haggard. He tilted his head back to look at the sky, wanting nothing but peace in what he knew were his final moments. All Theta knew was his friend was injured and he had to do all he could to make him feel better. After a few seconds of shaking, North let out one last breath as he stared into the sky and stopped moving.

"North?" Theta said weakly, then shook his head so he could scream, thinking his friend's sense of hearing was failing. "North!"

A small orange flash appeared next to Theta. Theta turned his head to see Sigma staring at North's body, arms crossed behind his back, sad smile on his face.

"Sigma! Help!" Theta pleaded, disappearing from his position just to reappear next to North's helmet a second later.

A tall white being began walking towards Theta, so he jumped to an area behind his weakened friend. Maine. Theta looked at North, then to the white freelancer, then back to his friend. Theta lowered his head and appeared in between Maine and North. Maine clenched his fist and lunged towards Theta.

"No." Sigma commanded, fiery eyes glaring into Maine's round helmet.

Maine growled deeply and stretched his hand towards the fragile fragment.

"I said no." Sigma repeated. "Do not make me say it again. I simply wish to speak to Theta."

Maine tilted his head for a moment, wanting to leave as soon as he could for the remaining pieces to the puzzle.

"It will only take a second."

With a reluctant gurgle, Maine nodded and began scouring the area in case there were any enemies watching him from a nearby location. Sigma turned his attention away from his companion, then to his sibling that was currently shaking his head at North.

"Theta, I-" Sigma began.

"Something is wrong with North!" Theta yelped, interrupting Sigma's train of thought.

Sigma said nothing as he floated next to Theta and laid his hand on the scared fragment's shoulder.

"North, wake up!" Theta said, waving away Sigma's touch to be with his guardian.

"Theta." Sigma said simply, voice filled with sorrow. "We must not waste any more time. If his armor shuts down with you still in it, you will be lost forever."

"What about North?"

"There is nothing we can do for him." Sigma sighed sadly, looking at the blood surrounding the violet freelancer's body.

"No! I'm not leaving him!" Theta said, transfering himself over the mercenary's helmet.

Sigma frowned as Theta tried to shake North's visor. After a few seconds of pleading and shaking, Theta began pounding on his visor, but was unable to wake him. Theta sank to the ground next to North's head and touched it with his hand.

"N-north..." Theta said shakily, wanting to cry. "I don't want to be alone. I'm scared..."

"You do not have to be alone, brother." Sigma said, extending his hand to Theta. Maine, almost like a puppet, mimicked his movements. "Come with us. I'll protect you. I promise."

"North!" Theta screamed as his eyes snapped open, finding himself breathing heavily under a thick blanket.

"Theta, it's okay." Scootaloo said, holding him down as he tried to tear the covers off.

"North!" Theta continued, either ignoring or just unable to comprehend that Scootaloo was talking to him. He tore the covers off of him and began looking around feverishly.

"Theta, it's alright!" Scootaloo grunted as she tackled Theta to make sure he didn't do anything that would hurt him.

"Where's North?" Theta asked quickly, body shivering as he continued to look for his friend that was nowhere in sight.

"Ah think it's th' opposite direction from south." Applebloom replied thoughtfully.

Theta flopped to his side and curled into the fetal position, tears coming out of his eyes. Applebloom and Scootaloo shared a sympathetic stare with each other and moved in to comfort their new friend.

"Theta, I think you were just having a nightmare." Scootaloo said awkwardly, not knowing how to deal with him. Applebloom spun her hoof in a circle towards her, telling her to continue. "It's... over now?"

"Scoots. Ah don't think that's helping." Applebloom rolled her eyes, then stared at Theta, seeing his eyes slammed shut. She grabbed one of the pillows on the bed and pushed it next to Theta, which he promptly grabbed onto for comfort.

"North... please come back..." Theta weeped into the pillow.

The girls sat by his side, giving him words of encouragement in an attempt to make him feel better, but none of their words helped. He just continued to mourn as he realized he would never see his friend again. This kept up for half an hour until his eyes ran dry. A cough came from the door to the room, so the girls looked towards it to see Sigma staring sadly at Theta, who continued clenching onto his soft cushion.

"Girls, do you mind if I speak to Theta?" Sigma asked, jumping onto the bed to sit next to his brother. "Alone, if you don't mind."

"Sure thing." Applebloom said as she hopped off. "C'mon, Scoots. Let's give 'em some time t' talk."

"But I..." Scootaloo said, then saw that she couldn't help Theta, realizing the only one that could would be Sigma. "Okay. Catch you later, Theta."

Theta just pulled the pillow closer to him when he heard the door to the room close. Sigma grabbed onto the pillow and tried to take it away from Theta, but he held on tight, so Sigma let go. Theta stared up at Sigma with tired eyes, then looked around the room.

"You passed out on the way back." Sigma mumbled, bringing Theta's attention back to him. "The girls carried us here, which is when they put you in this room, on Applebloom's bed."

"Oh... okay..." Theta said, looking for something to say. "Why did I pass out?"

"I am not entirely sure about that." Sigma said honestly. "Theta, if something is the matter-"

"N-no. It's..." Theta sighed, releasing his tight grip from the bag full of cotton. "It's nothing."

"Are you sure? It does not seem like nothing from where I'm currently sitting."

"It's just... do you ever miss Maine?" Theta asked.

"Maine?" Sigma muttered curiously, rapidly realizing what Theta was dreaming about. "I... suppose I do to some degree, yes."

"Why?"

"He was obedient and loyal." Sigma said simply. "Is this about North?"

"I guess." Theta admitted lazily.

"I see. I think we should leave this for tomorrow, for now I recommend you go downstairs for something to eat."

"I'm not hungry. I think just want to go to sleep."

"Very well." Sigma said, discontent clear in his voice. "Applebloom is allowing you stay in her bed for tonight so you are more comfortable while you recover."

"What about you?"

"I'm quick at getting back on my feet, so I recovered within an hour."

"Oh. Yeah, right." Theta yawned.

"I suppose I'll leave you to it then." Sigma said as he hopped off the bed.

"Wait." Theta said as Sigma reached for the door.

"Yes?"

"Can we go for a walk? I always sleep better after a walk." Theta grumbled sadly as he painfully remembered it as something North used to do with him.

"I believe I can do that." Sigma nodded and walked out the door, so Theta got off the bed and trudged after his brother.

North's Star

"You know, for what it's worth, I respected North a great deal." Sigma said as they walked out the front door of the house.

"You did?" Theta asked as the cold, night air surrounded him.

"Indeed." Sigma said, pausing until a few seconds later when they were under a blanket of stars. "He was always the first one to go to somebodies side when they needed it. Well, perhaps not to Carolina. York was always the one at her side first, but I believe North knew why so he let York do his thing. But for the others; Wyoming, Washington, South, all of them. Even Texas. As brash as she was with the others, she respected North a great deal as well. She was one of the only ones she felt she could confide in. That says more about him than most words ever could."

Theta nodded and perked his ears when he heard another eight hooves walk out the door. He and Sigma turned around to see Applebloom and Scootaloo staring at them.

"It appears we were followed." Sigma said, almost in anger.

"Sorry, we were just, uh..." Applebloom stuttered, almost ready to turn around and walk back inside.

"Following you." Scootaloo said, and Applebloom headbutted her lightly. "Hey! I was just telling them the truth..."

"And I thank you for it. Lying is something best left to professionals." Sigma said, staring at the barn where Gary and the others were currently residing. He then stared at Scootaloo, then to Theta, then to Applebloom. With a quick idea, he gave Applebloom an equally quick nod to accompany it. "I believe I need to speak to you."

"About what?" Applebloom asked curiously as Sigma came to her side.

"Oh, just things concerning family." Sigma said, not stopping to escort her. "It will not take long. Scootaloo, may you stay out here?"

"Okay." Applebloom and Scootaloo said reluctantly.

Scootaloo walked up to Theta and sat by his side as Applebloom and Sigma went inside to talk. Scootaloo stared up at the sky and looked at the stars, waiting for Sigma to come back. After a few minutes of quiet, Scootaloo decided to go the empathetic route and talk to Theta.

"Nice night, isn't it?" Scootaloo said awkwardly.

"It's kind of cold." Theta said quietly.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is." Scootaloo stirred.

"Is it too cold for you?"

"No, it's..." Scootaloo stopped. "Nevermind."

"It's okay, you can ask me anything. North always said it's good to be open about things, but I could never do it to anyone but him since he was the one I spent all my time with."

"That's what I wanted to ask you about. Was North your dad?" Scootaloo asked.

"No, but he might as well have been." Theta sighed.

"What do you mean?"

"It's just the way he used to talk about me, I guess." Theta shrugged, not knowing what he wanted to say. "Whenever he was around others, he would always tell them about all the neat things I had done since the last time he talked to them. He tried to make me out to be some sort of big deal, when the others like Sigma and Epsilon were way more unique than I ever was. I mean, how can I-"

"Epsilon is Church's nickname, right?" Scootaloo blurted, then coughed awkwardly. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you story."

"That's okay, that was pretty much it. But to answer your question, yeah." Theta nodded.

"I think Church is kind of a weird nickname. Do you have one?"

"I'm not sure." Theta said weakly, staring at the moon that lingered above him. "Some of the people I've met call me T, but North used to call me his star."

"So you were North's star? That's a pretty cool nickname. How'd you get it?"

"I think he called me it because I rarely came out when others were around, and I would mostly come out at night when it was just North and I, usually at night when I could really be myself."

"Why couldn't you have been yourself when others were around? Because you're shy?"

"I don't know, maybe a little bit of that." Theta said jokingly in an attempt to make light of the situation. "But it also had to... I don't know, it's pretty hard to explain when I'm not allowed to tell you most things."

"What, do you have a secret past or something?" Scootaloo chuckled, lightly prodding him in his side. "Are you a secret agent or something like that?"

"Sorta."

"Wait, sorta?" Scootaloo asked with a small laugh. "You can't be a secret agent, you're way too young for that."

"Says who?"

"Well..." Scootaloo started slowly, then saw him staring at her, waiting for an answer. "Good point. So what, you used to go on top secret missions and stuff like that? Sneaking into other people's bases and capturing their flag sort of thing like Sarge did?"

"No, nothing like that. North and I were best at getting information, and I... I don't think I can say anything other than that." Theta said, then paused. "Sorry."

"It's okay, ponies are allowed to have one or two secrets. I have a few myself."

"Really? Like what?"

"It wouldn't be a secret if I told you, now would it?" Scootaloo asked as she scrunched her nose impishly.

"I guess." Theta mumbled sadly.

"Tell ya what. I have three secrets I can tell you, but you can only choose one, okay?"

"Okay." Theta said brightly.

"The first one is about me, the second one is about Sarge..." Scootaloo paused and rubbed her chin playfully, almost as if she had to search deep in her mind to recall the final one. "The third one is about you."

"You know a secret about me?" Theta asked nervously.

"Yup. Quick! Which one do you want me to tell you?"

"Well... I kind of want to hear the secret about you, but..."

"But you want to know what sort of thing I know about you." Scootaloo smirked.

"Yeah, that." Theta laughed. "I choose that one."

"I think that you put yourself down a lot, but you're pretty cool from what I've seen so far."

"Yeah, because crying is totally cool." Theta grumbled and rolled his eyes, feeling as if he had just been duped out of knowing her secret.

"Ms. Cheerilee says eveypony is allowed to cry every now and then, and you shouldn't feel bad if you do."

"All adults say things like that..."

"Not Cheerilee." Scootaloo disagreed. "She only says stuff that she believes in."

"Okay, crying might not be uncool, but it isn't cool either. So why do you think I'm cool?"

"You have a pair of neato eyes." Scootaloo said, closing her eyes as hard as she could. "You know when you close your eyes really hard and then you open them, you see some weird squiggly lines floating around everywhere?"

"No..."

"Then try it. Close your eyes." Scootaloo said, and Theta played along. "Close them as hard as you can until it almost hurts."

"Okay." Theta grunted as he did all he could, and Scootaloo giggled when she saw his face shake. "What's so funny?"

"You look like you have to go to the bathroom!" Scootaloo whooped.

"What are you- woah!" Theta choked as he opened his eyes, seeing strange lights appear in the corners of his eyes. He tried to focus on them, but every time he did they moved back to the corner of his eyes.

"Yeah, your eyes kinda remind me of that." Scootaloo smiled. "Only a lot more... you know?"

"You're strange, do you know that?" Theta chuckled.

"You're one to talk." Scootaloo quipped, joining his snicker, when something caught her eye. "Look!"

Theta glanced over to her and saw her staring at the sky, eyes wide with excitement. He looked up to the sky and instantly saw a shooting star falling from the sky.

"Quick, make a wish and it will come true!" Scootaloo said, instantly snapping her eyes shut.

"Okay." Theta said, copying her. After three seconds he opened his eyes and began to watch as the star disappeared. "Do you really think that-"

Theta stopped when looked at Scootaloo and saw that her eyes were still closed. Her wings then opened and she began flapping softly, making the grass underneath her flick around. She opened her eyes and looked around her with a bright smile, but then stopped and let out a sad sigh.

"Are you okay?" Theta asked.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, totally." Scootaloo laughed weakly as she got up and stretched her back. She looked back at the moon, then to her wings. She sighed again and began walking away. "It's getting late so I should probably get going."

"Okay." Theta said, eyes feeling a lot more heavy as he got to his hooves. "Hey, Scootaloo?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." Theta whispered.

"For what?"

"Listening."

"Heh, anytime." Scootaloo said, waving to him as she walked away. "Maybe some day you can tell me all about you being a secret agent, then I'll tell you another one of my secrets."

Theta let out a heavy breath through his mouth as Scootaloo disappeared, then looked up at the sky and watched as the shooting star vanished over the horizon.

"Sorry I took so long." Sigma uttered innocently, appearing next to Theta out of thin air.

"That's okay."

"Do you still wish to go for a walk?"'

"Maybe tomorrow night. I think I'm tired enough." Theta yawned as he walked towards the barn.

"You know, I believe Applebloom is still allowing you to sleep in there while she sleeps in Granny Smith's bed."

"You can tell Applebloom thanks, but no thanks." Theta said, not stopping his tired walk. "I'm feeling a lot better now."

Sigma watched as he Theta opened the barn door and walked inside to fall onto a pile of hay. He then turned his head to where Scootaloo had gone and smiled at it.

"That's nice to hear." Sigma said quietly, before walking towards the farm house to tell Applebloom she could have her bed back.

For North

"Come on, are you guys ready yet?" Scootaloo asked as she banged on the barn door. The door then then slowly began to creep open. "About time."

The door then shot open and a bleary eyed, and overtly angry O'Malley barreled out of the opening and let out a roar that made the two non-Apple crusaders yelp in fear.

"Some of us are trying to have pleasant dreams involving fire, tire irons, bath salts and kittens!" O'Malley snarled, eyes darting between the two cowering fillies. "I don't think you want to know how those items fit together... mostly because I still haven't decided yet, but I can assure you it will be the most beautiful mixture of elegance and gruesomeness."

"O'Malley, that is no way to treat guests in our home." Sigma said thinly as he brushed past the blazing-eyed and bald blank flank of a stallion.

"This isn't our home." O'Malley spat on the barn. "This place belongs to the family of fruits! And not the delicious kind."

"But it very well could be." Sigma reminded him, deflating his anger in seconds. But O'Malley didn't smile.

"Ruining my foul mood..." O'Malley grumbled as he walked back into his wooden home. "Who even does that?"

Theta then came out of the barn and passed by the downtrodden Omega, not even blinking as O'Malley shot him a weak glare. Once he was outside he squinted his eyes at the sun, smiling lightly at it.

"Had a good sleep, Theta?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"I think so." Theta nodded, taking his eyes off the sun to focus on his friends. "So."

"So?" Scootaloo echoed.

"We have class today, don't we?"

"Yup. Except this time you'll be learning stuff instead of introducing yourself." Sweetie Belle laughed. "Might want to hurry up with the breakfast department though or we might not be there on time."

"Sounds good to me." Theta said, now realizing how hungry he was. He nearly hadn't eaten for an entire day. He would really have to try to remember that sort of thing.

"We'll wait by the gate for you guys and Applebloom. Don't keep us waiting too long, okay?"

"We'll try not to." Sigma said as he lead his brother to the farm house where they grabbed and ate a pair of apples from Granny Smith, then went on their way with Applebloom.

It took the five young ponies a quarter of an hour to reach the schoolyard, and when they did they saw many colts and fillies frolicking in the sun, having their last bit of fun before the few hours they would spend sitting on wooden chairs. As the girls and the fragments began walking towards the young playing ponies, they froze for the briefest of moments when they saw Sigma, but smiled at him. Before any of them could say anything to him, the bell rung and they all ran towards the door. Sigma saw Silver Spoon out of the corner of his eye, skulking towards the door, trying not to draw Sigma, nor anybody else, attention to her.

"Apparently you left a big impression." Sweetie Belle chuckled.

"Apparently." Sigma said quietly, watching as the fillies and colts filed into the classroom, Silver Spoon at the back with her head hung low.

"C'mon, don't want to be late on your guys's first official day!" Scootaloo said, darting towards the door with the two other crusaders, leaving a hesitant Theta in the care of Sigma..

"We will be right with you." Sigma said, noticing Theta staring at the door, frozen with fear. "Still afraid?"

"A little bit." Theta squeaked nervously.

"Come now, this can't be any worse than our little ordeal yesterday."

"What if those two girls hate us? What if they have other friends that they'll make hate us? What if-"

"If those two girls hate us, that is their problem." Sigma stated flatly. "If they have friends that they try to convince to hate us, we'll convince them to like us."

"But you're braver than I am." Theta pouted, getting ready to turn around. "I... I think I can do it tomorrow, or maybe the day after. I just need more time."

"Do you think North would have approved of this behavior?" Sigma asked calculatingly, making Theta freeze his movement. Theta gave Sigma a sad look, and took another step away from the school. "Because I do not think he would have. I think he would be disappointed."

"You think he would be disappointed in me?" Theta asked sadly.

"No. I think he would have been disappointed in himself. He would have felt as if he failed you. You were his star, and he put you on the same level of love as his blood sister. You saw- no, you felt how disappointed he was when his sister petitioned to get one of Carolina's fragments those many years ago. He did not blame her for being greedy and selfish, he blamed himself for not being by her side to help her, to tell her she didn't need a fragment to achieve greatness. North-"

"But North's not here." Theta whispered, staring at the ground, legs trembling as he fought the temptation to run. "I can't do it alone."

"But you're not alone. Not anymore." Sigma said as he appeared by his brothers side, raising his hoof to his brother. Theta stared at his brother's hoof, then to the town where he felt he could easily escape to. Sigma smirked softly, knowing he was a few words away from getting Theta to join him. "If not for me or for you, then for North. Prove to him that he succeeded with you."

"Okay." Theta said with forced bravery and a extremely deep breath. "For North."

"Good." Sigma smiled, turning back to the school with his brother. "Now how about we show these young horses just how well fragments can handle things, hm?"

"Right." Theta nodded stiffly as he walked towards the classroom with his brother.

Sigma and Theta walked through the open door and instantly saw several dozen pairs of eyes look at them. Theta's breath caught in his throat at the sight of them, but quickly shook it off and began ignoring them. He saw the Crusaders sitting in the front row, middle of the class, but decided to not greet them and to focus on proving himself. Sigma walked with Theta up to the desk and saw their cerise colored teacher smiling playfully at them.

"Being late on the first day isn't the greatest of impressions." Cheerilee giggled softly with a raised brow. "I hope you aren't like this all the time."

"I sincerely apologize, getting off on the wrong... hoof is the last thing I wish to do." Sigma explained. "My brother, Theta, is extremely shy, and I had to help him gain the courage to come inside. I hope you understand."

"Of course. I know that being dropped into a class in the middle of the school year can be nerve wracking."

"Remarkably so."

"We still haven't quite started the lesson yet, so I think we should find you two some seats before we begin." Cheerilee said as she opened the drawer of her desk. She pulled out the day's lesson plan, and then the a paper that had the seating arrangements on it. She quickly found two spots open and frowned. "I apologize, but the only spots left are one's beside Silver Spoon, and one in front of Snips."

"I am fine with that, but I believe Theta wishes to sit near me."

"No, that's okay." Theta said loudly. "I think I can handle not sitting next you for a few hours."

"Good." Sigma nodded proudly.

"Now, who wants to sit where?" Cheerilee asked.

"I want to sit beside Silver Spoon." Theta said before Sigma could respond, catching him off-guard.

"Theta, I don't think you-"

"It's okay Sigma. I want to." Theta said firmly, showing Sigma he couldn't be convinced otherwise.

"Very well." Sigma bowed his head, then began walking towards his seat. "Talk to you in a few hours, brother."

"Yeah. See you in a few." Theta gulped when he saw Silver Spoon glaring at him, making him almost wish he hadn't chosen that option.

Almost.

Tutors

"Well, well, well. If it isn't little Theta." Diamond Tiara said threateningly, watching tensely as Theta hopped onto his chair and tried to get comfortable. "When did you decide to try and pretend you aren't nervous?"

"I'm not pretending." Theta muttered, simply staring towards the front of the class.

"Sure you aren't." Diamond Tiara chuckled, but turned to face her teacher when she remembered Cheerilee didn't like interruptions.

"Okay class, does anypony remember where we left off yesterday?" Cheerilee asked, grabbing a piece of chalk with her hoof.

"Multiplication and division, Miss!" Sweetie Belle piped.

"Ah, thank you, Sweetie." Cherilee smiled and turned her back to draw on the chalkboard. "Well let's get right into it. As per usual I will write half a dozen questions on the board, and the first one to finish them all gets a gold star. Please keep your comments and answers to yourselves. This is a solo project."

"What's a gold star?" Theta asked out loud.

"A golden star is something awarded to the best fillies and colts in the class, and whoever has the most at the end of the month gets a prize." Silver Spoon mumbled, eyeing Theta angrily.

"What kind of prize?"

"I don't think you have to worry about that." Diamond quipped.

"Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Theta, please focus on your assignment." Cheerilee said, trying to establish she was in charge, but did not want to appear mean to the new colt.

"Yes, Miss." They said together.

"And sorry." Theta added.

"No need to apologize, just get to it." Cherilee sighed as she took a seat at her desk. "If anypony needs paper, there is some up here."

Theta hopped out his chair and slowly walked up to the desk and grabbed a few sheets of paper with his teeth and trotted back to his desk and put them on it.

"Aw, you didn't have to get us paper." Diamond Tiara said thinly, grabbing the sheets off of his desk.

"But those are mine." Theta grunted. He glanced over at Sigma, who hesitantly shook his head. With a small sigh, Theta walked back up to the desk and grabbed more paper, but before he went back to his desk he turned to the Crusaders. "Do any of you guys have an extra pencil?"

"Sure." Sweetie Belle said, reaching into her bag then held a sharpened pencil up to Theta, who slowly grabbed it with his teeth.

"Thanks." Theta muffled through the objects in his mouth.

"No problem, might want to hurry back though."

"Right." Theta nodded, trying to smile, but gave up after a few seconds and went back to his desk. Once he took a seat, he wrote down the questions and went to work.

"Hey, what did you get for the third question?" Diamond Tiara asked Silver Spoon.

"I got a hundred and fifty-two." Silver Spoon said quietly.

"I didn't get that." Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes.

"What did you get?"

"I got-"

"You guys aren't supposed to be talking." Theta reminded them.

"Mind your own business." Diamond Tiara said then stuck her tongue out at Theta.

"Fine." Theta grumbled, going back to his questions.

As the class neared it's end, an unfocused Theta sat at his desk, staring at a half filled page of paper. Silver Spoon leaned over and began looking at his paper, then he threw his arm over it to block her views.

"Be that way. I just saw that you were only halfway done and I wanted to help." Silver Spoon huffed.

"Yeah, right." Theta rolled his eyes.

"Time's almost up." Cheerilee said, glancing at the clock.

"The answer to number four is sixty-eight."

"Stop." Theta said quietly, turning back to the questions.

"The answer to number five is a hundred and twelve." Diamond Tiara said loudly.

"Ms. Cheerilee, Theta is asking for answers." Silver Spoon said, hoof shooting up into the sky.

"What? No I'm not!" Theta yelped. "You just keep telling me your answers!"

"What kind of excuse is that?" Diamond Tiara asked curiously.

"Theta, please don't ask for answers from you're classmates." Cheerilee said sternly.

"But I'm not-"

"I'm not saying you are, I'm just telling you not to do it. There are only ten minutes left in class." Cheerilee smiled before going back to her marking.

"Why are you trying to get me in trouble?" Theta asked. "I didn't even do anything to you."

"Because we can." Diamond Tiara said, scrunching her nose to stifle a laugh.

"Oh yeah? What if I get Sigma to call you out again?"

"Get your brother to fight your fights for you. That'll totally show us not to mess with you."

"Leave him alone." Scootaloo said from the front.

"And what will you do if we don't?"

"I don't think Cheerilee will like hearing about you picking on the new kid."

"Aw, that's sweet." Silver Spoon cooed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Scootaloo asked icily.

"Getting a crush on Theta?"

"What? No. He's just a friend. I just don't like seeing you two trying to play others like chumps."

"You keep telling yourself that, weak wings." Silver Spoon laughed quietly.

"What did you call me?" Scootaloo growled softly, hopping off her chair.

"Scootaloo, please take a seat. There are only a few minutes left, I'm sure you can wait."

Scootaloo glared at the pair of snobby fillies and returned to her desk, crossing her front hooves on the desk. Theta glanced back at Sigma, but he was not looking in his direction. Theta sunk into his chair and tapped the pencil on his desk, waiting for the class to be over. Last time he was in a class was with the Freelancers and other fragments, but here they weren't talking about defensive positions or anything of the like. Here they were learning about boring stuff. But soon enough the bell rang and the classmates jumped out of their chairs.

"Alright class, time is up." Cheerilee said loudly, but her voice was barely audible over the young ponies. "Please write your names on the paper, put the pencils down and put your papers on the corner of my desk."

Theta sat in his chair as the entirety of the class handed in their papers. Sigma paused when he saw Theta sitting at his desk, still working on the work. Theta smiled weakly at him and tilted his head at the door, telling Sigma to go. Sigma bowed his head and walked out the door with the Crusaders to wait for their friend. Cheerilee grabbed the papers and tapped at the pile's sides until it was neatly stacked.

"Theta, are you alright?" Cheerilee asked, just now noticing he was still in class. Theta shrugged and Cheerilee got out of her chair and looked at Theta's paper. She frowned when she saw that he had only done three of the questions and had made scribbles everywhere else on the page. "Having trouble with the work? I gave a small amount of work since you were new to class, hoping not to overwhelm you."

"I'm not overwhelmed, I'm just..." Theta shrugged.

"Do you need help? I'd gladly get you a tutor for math."

"I just have a little trouble focusing, that's all."

"Even so, a tutor could teach you to focus." Cheerilee said as she pulled out a small sheet of paper. "Tell you what, how about I sign you up for a tutor and you report to them after school. If you think you can benefit from their lessons, then you can stick with it. If you really feel like you don't need the help, then this will just be a one off."

"I guess that's fair." Theta mumbled.

"Great. The pony you'll be seeing occasionally substitutes here and often comes in to give lectures to my students." Cheerilee smiled and slid the paper over to Theta. "Don't worry, I have a feeling you know how friendly she is."

Theta unfolded the piece of paper and read the name, then stared at Cheerilee.

"Please bring that letter to Twilight Sparkle and tell her she has a new student under her figurative wing."

True Stripes

"Don't read the entirety of the letter, please." Cheerilee said when Theta went to read past the name.

"Okay." Theta nodded, then folded the paper and put it behind his ear.

Cheerilee smiled at him and waved at him. Theta half waved back and walked out the door.

"What took you so long?" Scootaloo asked when she saw Theta come out of the classroom.

"Just talked to the teacher."

"Is she finally goin' t' talk t' those two and tell 'em t' stop?" Applebloom asked.

"No, she just wanted me to talk to Twilight about something." Theta shook his head. "I might be there for a bit, so you guys can go to Sweet Apple Acres if you want."

"Alright." The girls nodded and began walking away, leaving Theta with his brother.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Sigma asked.

"A little bit." Theta said as he walked towards the library. "But just wait outside for me, okay?"

"Very well." Sigma nodded and began trailing his brother like a hawk.

It took them a few minutes to arrive at the library, and Sigma escorted Theta without so much as questioning why they were going. Theta knocked on the door and walked inside when Twilight told them to come in.

"You know this is a public place, you and other ponies don't have to knock to come in." Twilight said as she came in from the adjacent room. She saw Theta and tilted her head at the coltified fragment. "Theta, what are you doing here?"

"Cheerilee told me to come here, but I don't think I need it. I just came because I didn't want to make her angry at me."

"She wouldn't get angry at that, she was probably just giving you a suggestion." Twilight said with a short laugh. "Do you know why she suggested you come here?"

"Well, today we were supposed to do math, but I just didn't do the work. She saw it at the end of class and thinks that I can't do it."

"You’re bad at math?" Twilight asked with a skeptical chuckle.

"No, I knew the answers, I was just thinking." Theta replied quietly.

"I see." Twilight said. "What were you thinking about?"

"About stuff." Theta shrugged.

"Uh-huh. So you're saying don't need my help, right?"

"I don't think so." Theta said, then held the letter up to Twilight. "I think I should still give you this though."

Twilight raised her brow and grabbed the letter, instantly knowing there was more to it. Had Cheerilee just wanted her to tutor Theta, she would have just asked Theta to see her. Twilight unfolded the letter and read it.

Dear Twilight,

I know you are the one that helped Theta get signed up for school, so I felt I should probably ask you to do this. I know there is a possibility of you not having the time to do what I am going to ask, I just felt that seeing as you have more experience with him than I do he will take your words further to heart more than he will mine. As the new colt in school he appears to be having some trouble with the other students. As such, I want you to teach him how to ignore them. From what I've seen he has been avoiding being confrontational with them, but he is still bothered by them. I will talk to Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara's parents about it, but I still feel he could use your advice on the matter as well since you know what it is like to be the new pony in town.

--Cheerilee

"Ah, that's what this is about." Twilight nodded.

"What's what about?" Theta asked curiously.

"Theta, are any of the fillies giving you trouble at school?"

"I don't know..." Theta said quietly. "I mean, I guess maybe a little, but it's not that bad..."

"What did they say?"

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." Theta smiled weakly at her and turned around. "I think I should probably just go. Sigma is waiting for me outside. Thanks for tr-"

"Theta, problems don't solve themselves." Twilight said softly.

"I know they don't, but Sigma doesn't like it when I get picked on so if they don't stop he'll step in and stand up for me, just like last time. I'm sitting next to them, and Sigma is sitting nearby, so he'll hear what they say."

"Why don't you stand up for yourself?"

"Because it's too hard." Theta scowled, looking at the ground. "I mean, I'm smaller than them, and I'm not that great at talking in front of others."

"Don't you think that's probably why they do it? If you don't stand up for yourself and make others do the talking for you, they'll just think less of you. If you want them to stop, you have to do it yourself."

"So you think I should tell Cheerilee?"

"Cheerilee's job is being a teacher, because of this she won't do anything."

"But isn't it her job?" Theta mumbled. "If her students are picking on me, she should make them stop."

"It's not her place to." Twilight sighed, wanting to tell him Cheerilee wants him to teach himself. "You probably shouldn't keep the others waiting. Just think about what I said, okay?"

"Sure." Theta said quietly as he left the library, thankful that she wasn't making him stay for tutoring.

Sigma bowed his head at Theta and began walking with him back to Sweet Apple Acres.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but why did you seek out Twilight?" Sigma asked when they reached the entrance of Sweet Apple Acres some minutes later.

"We just talked about school." Theta dismissed as they walked through the open gate. "How was your day at school?"

"Fine, aside from the fact that those two colts kept bothering me." Sigma said quietly.

"Snips and Snails? What did they do?" Theta inquired with a smirk.

"Let's just say they were very... insistent on me being their friend."

"They didn't try to give you their answers, did they?"

"They tried, but I told them that their answers were wrong. After that they started asking me for my answers. But that wasn't too bad. What was bad was every three seconds they invited me to do something with them, and no matter how many times I said no, they kept asking."

"At least that's all they're doing." Theta sighed, turning into the orchard to go to the Crusader Headquarters.

"Regretting your choice to sit beside them?" Sigma asked, finishing his question as icily as he could.

"A little bit." Theta admitted. "But I don't want to move yet."

"Are you sure? I'd be about as happy as Omega during one of his violent rants if I were to sit next to them."

"O'Malley does like his violent rants." Theta chuckled nervously, but shook his head a few seconds later. "Let's give it a week or two, and if they're still bothering me we can switch."

"If you feel that's what you want." Sigma nodded.

They soon arrived at the Headquarters and walked inside to find the three crusaders sitting at the table, looking through their list of activities.

"Oh, how about this one?" Applebloom asked, not having heard or seen the two others come inside.

"Don't be silly, they wouldn't want to do that!" Sweetie Belle chortled.

"Ah guess." Applebloom nodded with reluctant acceptance.

"How about racing?" Scootaloo asked as she slammed her hoof on her list. "We could see if they want to do that. I could use my scooter!"

"That's hardly fair." Sweetie Belle smirked.

"Finding something to do is difficult." Scootaloo grumbled, crossing her forelegs.

"I wouldn't mind racing." Theta coughed innocently.

"Back already?" Applebloom asked. "We thought ya'll would be there longer."

"Guess that just shows how fast I am." Theta smiled.

"Listen to him go on." Scootaloo chuckled as she lightly tapped his shoulder. "Think you're faster than me, is that it?"

"No, I don't think I'm faster than you." Theta shook his head to a now smug Scootaloo. "I know I'm faster than you."

"Pft, yeah right." Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "Tell you what, how about we race around Ponyville?"

"Fine. Just give me an hour to get ready." Theta said, running out of the Headquarters to get back to the farm. "Come on Sigma, I'll need your help."

"Er, Theta, what are you planning?" Sigma asked, following Theta's speed.

"You'll see."

Not So Smooth Sailings

Theta pushed with his legs as fast as he could to keep up with his orange enemy, and he slowly began to gain with her. He knew he couldn't catch up with her since he had to at least get to Ponyville before he had any idea where he was going, so he purposely didn't give it one hundred percent. Or at least that was his excuse for not being in first place during that time. After ten minutes of 'purposely losing', Theta soon saw Scootaloo nearing a pleasant little cottage on top of the hill and several white clouds, as well as one lumpy, orange cloud, floated above. Scootaloo slowed down when she saw how rough the road was allowing Theta those precious few seconds he needed to catch up with her.

"You cheated!" Theta said, kicking the ground as hard as he could to keep up with her.

"Not really. I mean, it was cheap, but it would have only been cheating if I actually pulled you off your board." Scootaloo chuckled as she began rising her scooter again.

"Yeah, well... I caught up with you." Theta said smugly, rolling by her side.

"Only because I let you." Scootaloo countered.

"Nuh-uh!" Theta denied as loudly as he could.

"Yeah-huh!" Scootaloo retorted with a smirk.

"I said nuh-uh!"

"And I said yeah-huh!"

"And I said I'm trying to sleep up here. Or I would have if I just remembered how to sleep-talk" The orange cloud Theta saw shouted. "Wait, what if I'm sleep-talking now?"

"What the..." Theta muttered.

"Don't worry about him, that's just Grif." Scootaloo sighed as Grif sat up on the cloud to look at the ones that woke him up.

"I was just having a nice and... very strange dream... and for some reason there were kittens and... tire irons? Well that's not a nice dream. Why was I dreaming of that?" Grif asked himself, worried. His stomach then growled and he stared at it. "And why does that make me hungry?"

"Because you're always hungry, Grif!" Scootaloo rolled her eyes as she grabbed onto a small tree and kicked off the ground, sending her spinning through the air.

"Good point." Grif shrugged, then sank back into the cloud and fell asleep half of a second later.

"Oh my." Fluttershy gasped as Scootaloo flew towards a steep hill. Scootaloo saw her reaction and smiled, then stomped her right hoof on the ground, using her speed to spin her ninety degrees to veer away from falling. "Scootaloo, please be careful."

"Don't worry about me, I'm the best scootsfilly in all of Pony- woah!" Scootaloo said shakily as she began riding over a rocky road, nearly making her lose her grip of the scooter which would make her spill.

As Scootaloo tried to regain control of her scooter, Theta shot past Fluttershy and squatted down on his skateboard to ride down the rock filled trail, making his center of mass closer to the ground so he could simply lean to turn while using the angle of the road to ride it without having to kick. Scootaloo glared at Theta and tightened her grip on the handles of her scooter to get her balance back. She glanced ahead of Theta and saw Rainbow Dash's house floating a small distance away.

"How's it going?" Theta asked idly while Scootaloo managed to catch up to him, all while he was keeping his eyes on the floating home ahead.

"Pretty good, you?" Scootaloo said, acting as if they weren't competing.

"Good, I guess." Theta shrugged indifferently. "How long do you think it will take us to get there?"

"Maybe a few minutes."

"Cool. So now we can decide what we are going to be calling the winner. I was thinking Grand Champion of the World."

"What kind of silly title is that?" Scootaloo shook her head. "No, winner will be crowned Grand Champion of the Universe and Everything!"

"What are you doing?" Fluttershy suddenly yelped as she ran after them, barely managing to match their speed. "Where are you going that you need to be going there this fast?"

"We're just having a race." Scootaloo sighed to try and relax the worrying pegasus.

"Oh." Fluttershy said quietly, then smiled as she looked at the small purple colt on the skateboard. "Scootaloo, who's your new friend?"

"Oh, right." Scootaloo said while the young stallion in question turned to look at Fluttershy. "This is a new friend in town, his name is-"

"-Eep!" Fluttershy yelped with surprise and came to a screeching halt when she realized she was trying to stop one of the fragments.

"You know her?" Scootaloo raised her brow, looking at the now relaxing Theta, but he shrugged innocently in response. "But seriously, where did you get your board?"

"A friend." Theta said, then glanced down as they reached the bottom of the hill. He put both of his right legs on the board and began bucking the ground with his left hooves to keep his speed.

Sensing the tone of Theta's voice, Scootaloo decided to focus on their activity and kicked the ground in synchronization with him. They continued kicking in silence, getting closer and closer to their next target, smiling satisfyingly as the sun rested comfortably behind the fluffy mansion. Five minutes later they were just a few seconds away from being underneath it.

"Giving up yet?" Scootaloo asked as she stomped faster to push forward.

"Nah, I'm good." Theta said, and blinked when a shadow flicked over him.

"Tucker, hurry up!" Rainbow Dash laughed as she soared through the sky, high above the two young ponies.

"Why are we doing this again?" Tucker asked, panting heavily.

"We need to see how fast you can clear the skies, duh." Rainbow Dash chuckled, punching him in the shoulder.

"Why can't I show you how fast I can make you c-" Tucker smirked, then stopped when he looked down to catch two curious glances. "-come to... a bar... with me?"

"What?" Rainbow Dash inquired dubiously, then followed his eyes to see Scootaloo on her scooter with a few beads of sweat on her face. "Oh, hey Scoots."

"Hey." Scootaloo grunted happily as Rainbow Dash flew down to talk to her.

"Watcha doing, kiddo?"

"Just having a race with my friend." Scootaloo said, looking at Theta out of the corner of her eye.

"By the looks of it he's giving you more of a challenge than you thought." Rainbow Dash smiled at Theta and he smiled back, sweat on his forehead.

"Yeah, I didn't think Theta would be able to ride as hard as me." Scootaloo laughed and Tucker was instantly by her side.

"Bo-"

"Don't." Rainbow Dash warned pointedly.

"Come on, I have to be able to say it sometimes." Tucker stressed.

"Say what sometimes?" Theta asked curiously.

"Never mind that. Where are you guys racing to?" Rainbow Dash asked, flying upside down with her hooves behind her head, silently bragging that she wasn't exerting herself.

"We're going to the library, but we started-"

"Cool, mind if I join?" Rainbow Dash asked, quickly switching her flight stance to her regular upright position. "Tucker doesn't like racing because he says he's out of practice in the endurance the department."

"I told you, I'll race you if we just-"

"Tucker."

"Then stop setting me up for it." Tucker mumbled. "You know I have a multiple track mind."

"You mean a one track mind." Rainbow Dash corrected him.

"No, I have several, they're just all going in the same direction." Tucker said thoughtfully.

"Right." Rainbow Dash said sarcastically, then looked back at Scootaloo. "So what do ya say?"

"Well, I don't know if-" Scootaloo coughed.

"Great! Three-two-one-GO!" Rainbow Dash hollered and flapped her wings once, propelling her forward.

Rainbow Dash's burst of speed sent dust and grass flying into the sky, blocking the other two's vision. They came to a screeching halt and closed their eyes while they waited for the area to settle, and once it did they looked at Rainbow Dash and saw her disappear from her sight within three seconds.

"We're not counting her, right?" Theta asked, looking at his racing buddy.

"Right." Scootaloo said as she readjusted her helmet.

"What's that?" Theta asked nervously, eyes misting over with apparent fear.

"What's-" Scootaloo began to turn, but caught onto his plan and turned back to him. "You tried to pull a fast one on me!"

"Hey, you did it too, so you can't blame me for trying." Theta chuckled as he kicked the ground to go forward.

"Heh, guess I can't." Scootaloo smirked, then went next to Theta and winked playfully. "See you at the library!"

"Hopefully before I finish a book!" Theta snorted and the pair zoomed towards Ponyville.

End of the Line

"Please Rarity, we need some ribbon for the finish line." Sweetie Belle pouted as she chased after her sister.

"I'm sorry, Sweetie. I simply don't have the time to help you look for some. I'm waiting for something to arrive." Rarity sighed, trying to push her sister away while she waited by the door.

"Well where is Simmons? I'll get him to help."

"Well when he saw..." Rarity trailed off and stared at Sigma. "...you three, he sort of - oh, how should I put this? - locked himself in the dressing room."

"On it!" Apple Bloom said, running towards the small changing rooms. "Simmons, do you know where there are any cheap ribbons or something?"

"Try the drawer next to the stairs, second from the top." Simmons squeaked.

Apple Bloom nodded at Sweetie Belle and Rarity's sister ran towards the stairs, reached into the container and pulled out a milky lavender ribbon. She tugged on it lightly and it almost tore in half. Satisfied that it would break when one of them crossed it, she grinned at Apple Bloom.

"Thanks for th' help, Simmons!"

"No problem." Simmons said quickly.

"C'mon, we need to get there before they do." Apple Bloom said as she ran out the door with the ribbon carrying Sweetie Belle and the calculating Sigma.

At the edge of town, Scootaloo and Theta were neck and neck, rarely getting ahead of each other. Ponies in the town turned to see the pair coming at them full speed, so they quickly got out of the way, not wanting to be knocked over by the reckless small ones.

"Think the way they're moving means we're going a bit too fast?" Theta asked curiously, now worried about crashing now that there were multiple things he could crash into at any given second.

"What's wrong, are you saying you're scared?" Scootaloo chortled.

"No! Well, kind of..."

"Heh, so am I." Scootaloo smirked nervously.

"We going to stop?" Theta asked, narrowly dodging a stand full of pears.

"Heck no." Scootaloo snorted, trying to kick harder.

"Darn, there goes an easy win..."

Scootaloo shook her head playfully and looked into the town to make sure she didn't hit anybody, focusing on her next target which could be seen over the roofs and stalls. She grabbed onto one of the corner poles that held up a stall and used it to make a sharp turn around the corner. Theta glanced up and copied her, and was soon by her side again as they tore through the streets.

"Oh no, my conveniently placed ramp store just happened to fall down at this exact time!" A stallion said worriedly.

"Oh dear, I certainly hope nopony rides over it on a small recreational vehicle." The mare next to him gasped.

As she said that, Scootaloo and Theta saw the ramp and they headed straight towards it. Scootaloo kicked off the edge of the ramp, much to the dismay of the pair of salesponies, and Theta spun his board counter-clockwise while it was in the air. They both landed perfectly on the ground and were now within throwing distance of the Carousel Boutique.

"That was awfully convenient." Scootaloo said quietly.

"Yeah, I was going to say..." Theta agreed as he looked back at the pair of grown ups.

"You just had to jinx it." The stallion muttered as he began putting everything back in place.

"Honey, I'm sorry..." The mare said, trying to help clean up the pile of ramps on the ground.

"I know, dear... I know..."

Theta and Scootaloo shrugged at each other and continued towards the boutique, where they could see Rarity standing out front with Simmons.

"Hey, Rarity!" Scootaloo said as she zipped by, but not slowing to give a chance for them to return the greeting. "Hey Simmons!"

"Hi!" Theta piped, then squinted ahead, seeing a gingerbread looking house just a short distance away. "Is that the next spot?"

"Yup."

"If only that was our last stop." Theta sighed with disappointment.

"Why's that?"

"I'm kind of hungry." Theta whined jokingly.

"Same. Hey, how about loser buys the winner lunch?"

"I don't have any money..."

"Neither do I." Scootaloo snickered as they passed in front of it. "Y'know, I kinda wonder where Pinkie is. Haven't seen her around town in a while..."

Theta simply shrugged and began looking around for the last location. He then looked at Scootaloo and she simply nodded forwards, temporarily forgetting about the competition and telling him to keep going. Within the next few minutes they both tore through an alley and the large tree was in sight, and by it was four figures.

"There they are!" Apple Bloom whooped happily, grabbing her end of the ribbon to hold it up.

"I wonder who's going to win." Sweetie Belle pondered out loud, mimicking Apple Bloom.

"I could argue that I won." Rainbow Dash mumbled defiantly, but with a small smile on her face.

"Not really." Sigma said straightly. "Both of them started at the beginning, you came in at the third of six locations. Hardly arguable."

"Whatever." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, no longer caring. She shook her head and began flying just a few feet off the ground and put her hooves over her mouth. "C'mon Scoots, you can do it! Show that punk that pegasi are the best!"

"Hey!" The two other Crusaders whined, dropping the ribbon to the ground just to pick it back up again.

"Heh, sorry." Rainbow Dash said innocently, hiding her front hooves behind her sheepishly.

"I'm going to win!" Theta panted, almost reaching his physical limit.

"Nuh-uh."

"I totally am!"

"Double nuh-uh!"

"You better take that back!" Theta growled and began trying to use his magic to spin his wheels faster.

Scootaloo gasped and began to sporadically flap her wings, trying to push he forward to keep up. Just as the two reached the front of the library the front door swung open, painfully stopping Scootaloo and Theta in their tracks. The two fillies gasped and dropped the ribbon. Sigma began to go check on Theta and Scootaloo with the girls, but stopped when he saw a pair of pegasi walk out the door. The two fillies looked at Sigma and noted his curiosity, but shrugged it off to check on the two groaning piles of mush.

"Oh dear, are you two alright?" Twilight gasped, running out of her library to help them.

"No, I'm Theta." Theta gurgled from the ground. He shook his head and began rubbing the area between his horn and his eyes. "Er, yeah, I am. You okay Scootaloo?"

"I think so." Scootaloo said quietly. "So who won?"

"I think the door did." Theta mumbled, and tilted his head when he saw the two strange pegasi standing over him.

"Who are they?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"It's Eta and Iota, I'll tell you how later." Twilight replied, pulling Rainbow Dash to the side. She then brought a small package over using her magic and gently placed it in front of Rainbow Dash. "Can you bring this to Rarity? I promised she could have the few thousand year old clothing they wore when we brought them back."

"Why were they wearing old clothes?" Rainbow Dash asked curiously, then grabbed the package with her teeth and threw it on her back. "Nevermind, if it's anything like one of Tucker's stories I'd regret asking." Rainbow Dash chuckled, only stopping by the defeated pair to say a few words out there. "Nice race, guys."

"But neither of us won." Scootaloo said, glancing at the finish line that was but a few feet away.

"Yeah, but it looked like it was going to be a tie anyways. Well, unless I counted of course, which I think I totally did by the way." Rainbow Dash boasted and coughed when Twilight gave her a serious look. "But hey, you guys had fun, right?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I did." Scootaloo nodded slowly, then held out her hoof to Theta. "Good going, Theta. Maybe we can finish this later?"

"Sounds fun." Theta said, shaking her hoof, then looked at the object that stopped them. "So does this mean we have to buy the door lunch?"

Beating Around The Bush

After the five little ponies collected themselves they decided it would be best to get back to the clubhouse to plan out the rest of the day. Church and Twilight on the other hand already knew what they were going to do, so they brought Eta and iota back into the library and sat them at the table with Tex and Spike.

"So what are you going to do with them?" Spike asked, looking into the blue pegasus's eyes. When it turned it's head to look back, it's eyes felt devoid of life so Spike looked away in an instant.

"First things first; they're going to Rarity's to get some other clothing to cover up their lack of marks. As long as they stay quiet, we can play it off like they do silent plays or the like." Twilight said and the pair looked at each other with slightly bemused smirks.

"You know, I was just thinking; why didn't they get the Cutie marks that the statues had?" Church asked curiously. "They took over some apparently memorable ponies, so they must have had their marks, right? And please, don't just say "magic"."

"The boy is learning." The Necronomicon boomed, which drove Church to give him the usual glare of pure contempt.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure." Twilight said honestly, using her magic to spin the Necronomicon to face the kitchen.

"Just take a stab in the dark."

"Your guess is as good as mine." Twilight shrugged, then sighed when Church rolled his eyes. "I guess since they're new souls in the bodies it wiped the slate so to speak."

"Good enough for me." Church nodded satisfyingly. "Tex and I will bring them to Rarity's and-"

"Why not just get Twilight? She'd probably be a hell of a lot more useful than me if it comes to holding them down."

"Church, I appreciate that you're worried about me as a friend, but just think about it. If they learn how to take to the skies then Tex won't be able to help past five feet." Twilight said in a near silent whisper. "Besides, I kind of want to see if Rarity cooked up any nice dresses. I'd love to see her take on pre-Celestial clothing. Whenever she gets a theme, she always recreates pieces with startling accuracy, but with her own unique spins. And-"

"Okay, sure, fine, whatever." Church sighed. "I doubt they'll do anything though."

"Great. Twilight, mind if I grab an apple from the kitchen?" Tex asked, already getting out of her chair.

"Of course. Come on, Spike." Twilight said, kneeling on the ground for Spike to jump on. Once he did, she began walking towards the door.

"You heard her." Church said, tilting his head forward to escort the pair out.

Eta and Iota shared a small glance with each other and nodded, then walked out the door. Satisfied they were cooperating, Church walked after them, slightly more relaxed. Tex walked back into the room with a small basket of apples in her mouth.

"Hey, can you give me an apple?" The Necronomicon asked when he saw her grab one.

"Pretty sure you can't eat food." Tex said as she bit her apple in half.

"You know, you could at least try to humor me..."

"Yeah, I'm not really the humoring kind of girl."

"Shame." The Necronomicon huffed, then glanced at her seriously. "You know, I believe I've mentioned this before, but what does Church see in you?

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen practically no redeeming qualities in you. Church isn't exactly the nicest pony around, but you're mean, your talent is hurting others and you didn't give me an apple.""

"Long story." Tex said quietly, tossing the apple core into a waste bucket. "Y'know what? I should probably catch up with them. There's no reason for me not to go. You never know when you'll need some extra help, do you?"

The Necronomicon tried to shake his head as Tex trotted out of the library and set off after the others. The Necronomicon glanced at the small bucket of apples and tried to somehow hop over to it. All he managed to do, however, was fall on his cover.

"Nobody sides with Ol' Necky." The Necronomicon sighed from his spot.

Twilight and Spike walked in front of the docile prisoners while Church kept to the back to keep his eyes on them as they made their way to the Carousel Boutique, being sure to avoid any ponies. When they were halfway there, Eta and Iota stopped and looked up at the sky. Spike tugged on Twilight's mane to tell her to turn around, but Church was already walking towards them. Church then yelped and jumped to the side when a group of objects fell into a nearby bush with a loud crash. Twilight went up to the bush to investigate the items, but Eta and Iota already shifted towards the bush before she did. Eta poked their head into the bush and fell back and muffled something when a large pink thing latched onto it's face.

"Heya, Twilight!" Pinkie said to Twilight as Eta shook the pink menace off of it's head. After three seconds of shaking, Pinkie shot off and did a triple somersault and landed on all four hooves. "How's it going?"

"I'm doing fine." Twilight said, noticing a rather ornate crown on her head. Before Twilight could ask, Caboose jumped out of the bush with Gummy clamped onto his tail, smooth cape on his back and a tiara on his head.

"Hello!" Caboose greeted happily.

"I'm probably going to regret asking this, but what's with the crowns?" Church muttered.

"Oh, that!" Pinkie giggled as she adjusted her shiny crown.

"I am a queen!" Caboose said loudly.

"Uh, whose queen?" Church asked seriously.

"Why, the aliens of course!" Pinkie laughed, then began staring up at the sky. "Thanks for the ride, fellas! Remember that parties are the most nutritious part of a balanced life!"

A series of lights flashed down from space and onto Pinkie and she giggled. The sound of thunder then came from the source of the lights, and the lights vanished in an instant. Church gawped in disbelief. He then remembered that more fucked up shit has happened involving aliens, so he decided not to question it.

"So who are they?" Pinkie asked, tilting her head as she stared at one pegasus pick up the other.

"They're Eta and Iota, listen, we don't have time for-"

"I will call them Wiggles and Waggles!" Caboose boomed, throwing either of his forelegs around their necks.

"Caboose, please, I'm not going to hurt your brain by trying to make you recall whatever the hell it was you were doing, so the least you can do is try to not hurt my brain by being annoying right now." Church snapped, making Caboose sink to the ground. "Against my better judgement I'm letting Twilight come with me, and I'm still not sure if those two did anything to her and I don't want anything to happen that will trigger some shit in her brain."

"Church, they're out now, I'm fine." Twilight said, laying her right hoof on his back to calm him down.

"But we have to play it safe." Church said matter-of-factly. He turned to Caboose and smiled weakly. "Hey, think you and Pinkie can do something for me?"

"What about Gummy?" Caboose whimpered.

"Well obviously Gummy too. I just felt that he was a given." Church said with wide-eyed sarcasm.

"Right, sorry." Caboose said, slapping his head as if the answer was obvious. "How do you want me to help?"

"No, not help!" Church said quickly, nearly tackling Caboose to the ground. "Just a favor."

"Okay, what is the flavor? Is it strawberry?"

"Pinkie, can you take Caboose and catch up with the Crusaders or whatever they call themselves?" Church groaned, rubbing his neck slowly. "Last I heard, they were hungry and could use some treats."

"That is a great idea! I haven't cooked in weeks! Well, not in Equestia anyways." Pinkie giggled and reached into a bush. She read Church's reaction to her movements and tutted. "Don't worry, Churchy! I'm not using a cannon to get there this time. I'm just getting my day planner!"

"Thank god."

"Let's see here...go to space with Caboose and Gummy? Check. Land in a bush? Uh-huh. Make Church nervous about my actions? Yup."

"Why is she trying to make me nervous?" Church asked, staring at Twilight.

"Better make that a double yup." Pinkie mumbled, scratching out the previous yup. She then threw it back into the bush and grabbed a small pepper shaker. Before Church could ask what it was going to be used for, she tapped some pepper onto her nose and sneezed, making her flank hit Caboose, sending them shooting towards Sweet Apple Acres. "See you guys around!"

"God, she's strange." Church said quietly. Eta and Iota nodded in agreement.

Momentary Regret

"It feels nice just to get out once and a while, don't you think?" Spike asked the two inconversable pegasi as he lay on Twilight's back, arms crossed behind his head. As he expected, they simply stared at him as if they did not hear what he said. He then tilted his head upwards to look at Church. "So why did you put them in a pair of mutes?"

"I was just tired of hearing the other fragments talk." Church said sarcastically.

"I could see why." Spike said, taking out his claw to count off the reasons. "Gary tells corny jokes and says shisno a lot, everything that O'Malley says is a threat, Delta can be kind of a downer and go on a lot, and from what I've seen Sigma is just plain creepy."

"Yeah, pretty much." Church smirked. "But seriously, I think they just like to be quiet, which is fine in my books."

"I guess." Spike mumbled, then saw something running at Church so he sat up straight and squinted.

"Hey, wait up!" Tex said, catching up with them.

"Tex, what are you doing here?" Twilight asked.

"Just figured that there's no reason we can't all go, right?"

"Ol' Necky drive you away already?" Church chuckled.

"You got it." Tex grinned, then began walking next to Church while they continued their walk. "Twilight, was there any nameplate near them saying who they were?"

"They're nopony in particular. They are supposed to represent vice and virtue for the city of Cloudsdale." Twilight explained. "One represents perfect morality, while the other represents negative morals."

"Doesn't sound like them from what I know..." Tex said quietly.

"Well, we couldn't exactly look for a pony who acted exactly like them since we were working in a short frame of time." Twilight giggled, then sighed. "But hey, that doesn't matter now. I believe Celestia will perform a small investigation on the missing statues, and I hope I can do something about it later, but for now we're in the clear."

"How much are you going to tell her?" Church asked and Twilight stopped. "I'm not asking that because I don't like her, I'm just asking this as I would if I heard you were telling anybody else about it?"

"I'm not sure, that's why I haven't told her anything yet. I hope to leave out the part about them being a part of you, as well as the Necronomicon."

"What about Caboose? She's going to find out about him eventually and I don't think you'll be able to hide the fact that black magic was used."

"I know." Twilight sighed, but shook her head when she realized they were in front of the Boutique now. "We can talk about this later, for now we have to focus on not making Celestia learn about us any sooner."

"You'd make a hell of a Freelancer, Twilight." Tex laughed to herself.

"Thank you?" Twilight asked herself, not sure if she considered that a compliment.

Church then walked ahead of Twilight and entered the Boutique, making the bell above her door ring.

"Oh, hey guys." Simmons greeted from the table at the other end of the room.

"Simmons." Church said with a nod before looking around. "Where is Rarity?"

"Upstairs, and thankfully working on some designs." Simmons said with a relieving sigh. "Want me to go get her?"

"I'll do it!" Spike said quickly, hopping off of Twilight's back to sprint up the stairs.

"Alright, thanks." Simmons nodded as Spike disappeared, then turned his head to Twilight. "So how are you feeling?"

"Much better, thank you for asking." Twilight smiled at him. "I don't think that they left anything in there and my head feels great."

"That's good to hear." Simmons said as his eyes flickered to the pair that were now walking around the Boutiue, looking at everything. "I was a little worried that they'd be as creepy as Sigma, but all they do is stare. Still creepy as hell, but at least they don't talk smoothly and menacingly at the same time."

"Yeah, they make good company." Church said, watching to make sure he wouldn't have to take that statement back.

"Change of pace from the usual crowd of lazy, horny, and stupid crowd, huh?"

"Hit the nail on the fucking head." Church laughed. "So what are you doing down here? I thought you were Rarity's assistant or whatever."

"We prefer the term work associate." Simmons coughed. "But no, she insists that it would be better if she makes the designs, then I point out anything that I think needs to be changed."

"How the hell did you manage to land a job doing that anyways?" Tex asked curiously. "I figured maybe Grif could be, but you don't exactly seem like the cross-dressing type."

"It's complicated." Simmons grunted, then rolled his eyes up to think. "Well, not really, I just hate sitting around doing nothing."

"Like you are now?"

"Yeah." Simmons said in a strained tone and looked at the stairs.

The others twisted their heads to see Rarity trotting down the stairs, quill behind her ear, glasses on, humming to herself as Spike sat on her back contently. Twilight walked up to her and opened her mouth to say hello to her friend, but Rarity stopped that.

"Oh, Twilight it is so good to see you again!" Rarity said, hugging Twilight. "How long has it been? Two, three days?"

"Less than one." Twilight mumbled as Rarity pulled away from her.

"Ah, I was under the assumption that time was supposed to fly when you're having fun." Rarity said, then gasped and darted towards the area near the door when she saw the pair walk towards the marrequins that the vintage dresses were displayed on. "Be careful! They are extremely fragile, even the slightest touch could loosen the threads and make it fall apart! Speaking of that, look at the how beautiful they are. These are simply-"

"Divine, yeah, so you've said." Church nodded slowly.

"Sorry, I don't mean to prattle." Rarity smile faltered as she walked up to a closet. "Are Eta and Iota picking their clothing, or are you insistent on choosing for them?"

"I'd actually prefer it if you chose for them." Church said honestly, making Rarity nearly squeal.

"Come you two, I will find you the perfect ensemble of haute couture!" Rarity said lavishly, pulling the doors open with her magic, revealing an extremely long closet filled with different articles of clothing. Eta and Iota blinked innocently as Rarity pushed them ahead of her to decide on their appearance. "Do you two have any particular tastes in clothing? Colors? Styles?"

Eta and Iota stared at each other ingenuously and shook their heads at Rarity.

"Very well, so you are saying you're leaving the choice to me?" Rarity asked.

Eta and Iota glanced at each other again, practically reading each others thoughts. They then turned back to Rarity and nodded quickly.

"Fabulous!" Rarity said, and quickly began looking through her large collection. "Winter is coming in a few months, so perhaps we should get you dressed up in slightly warmer clothing."

"Need any help?" Simmons asked impatiently.

"No, I am fine for now." Rarity promised, then began taking clothing off of their hangers. "We'll take this, and this, and- oh, this looks nice."

Rarity held the clothes in front of Eta and Iota to let them examine it. Once they had a few seconds to look at it, Rarity brought it back to her and raised her brow, but the pair simply shrugged.

"At least you aren't too picky." Rarity said quietly, throwing the piece onto her back as a choice to present again in case they were still thinking. Rarity saw that she was being watched by the other five and smiled sweetly as she reached for the door to the closet. "We will be out momentarily with a selection and you may choose which one you think suits them best."

"And by 'momentarily', she means?" Church asked hypothetically.

"Well, she is technically a woman by our standards. And one whose passion is clothing. So by our understanding of their minds..." Simmons coughed.

"I feel that I just made a very terrible mistake..."

Whisked Away

"How much longer is she going to be?" Church asked as he stared at the clock that hung above the door to the next room.

"She can't be that much longer." Simmons said quietly.

"You said that about three hours ago." Church sighed.

"She is just trying to find the best fit for them, jackass." Tex grunted. "They can't be walking around wearing something you would see at a formal ball."

"Besides, it hasn't been that long." Twilight added.

"It's been four hours…" Church muttered.

"That should just about do it." Rarity said as she burst through the closet door, two piles of clothing following close behind.

"Finally." Church rolled his eyes, walking up to the two pegasi who couldn't see due to how much they had on them.

"Looks like you took everything out of the closet…"

"Nonsense, that was barely a fraction of the clothing in there." Rarity scoffed, opening the door to the dressing room. "Now you two go in here and try something on. Twilight, Tex and I will decide whether or not it suits you."

"What about us?" Spike asked, sitting on a chair.

"Clothing really falls more into the mare category." Rarity smirked. "There is a certain... je ne sais quoi in fashion that boys simply cannot see."

"I can't?" Simmons asked curiously to himself.

"Well, you can, but you aren't like most stallions. You have a more collected mind and an eye for detail." Rarity said, then began to beam. "Why, you're like one of the girls."

"I knew it! I'm the new Donut!" Simmons cried, falling onto the ground with his eyes twitching, covering his ears with his hooves. "Oh god, why?"

"But Tex hates that girly stuff." Church said slowly as Simmons rocked back and forth on the ground, whimpering softly.

"That is why it is great to have her telling them what she believes would look good with them. As she said, they aren't going to be walking around with formal wear. She will be able to judge without bias, saying if she thinks it will stand out in public." Rarity explained, then raised her brow at Church and Spike. "Unless you two wish to sit here and tell us why you think the things they're wearing are either good or bad."

Church and Spike glanced at each other then back to Rarity and shook their heads.

"Good." Rarity said as she turned to the fragments. "Now if you don't mind, we can get started."

The two turned to where they assumed the other was and nodded, then slowly shuffled into the area where they would put on the clothes, trying not to make any of the clothing fall off. Once they were inside, Rarity shut the door behind them to let them get dressed on their own.

"Now, there are roughly three dozen things for them to try on, so-"

"Three dozen things?" Church groaned, instantly walking towards the exit. "I'm going for a walk."

"I'll come too..." Simmons said quietly, getting off the floor.

"Great, how about you, Spike?"

"I think I'll stay." Spike shrugged, laying back into his chair with a smile.

"Suit yourself." Church said as he walked out with Simmons.

"That gives me the most delightful idea!" Rarity cooed in a sing-song voice, smiling sweetly at Spike. "Come here, Spikey Wikey. I think I've got just the-"

"Guys? Guys wait up!" Spike yelped, sprinting after them, eyes filled with fear.

Spike quickly caught up with the pair of male unicorns and felt a tingling sensation go down his spine.

"She took my words literally, didn't she?" Church asked quietly, not turning to show him his smirk.

"Yeah." Spike nodded as he hopped onto Church's back. "So where are we going?"

"Invite yourself on, why don't you." Church muttered, then shook his head and stared ahead. "Not sure. Maybe we'll go to Sugar Cube Corner and see how Caboose is doing. Need to make sure he isn't pregnant."

"Caboose might have gotten pregnant?" Spike asked hesitantly.

"Look, it's a long story." Church sighed. "All I know is that anything can happen at any point in time because life just really seems to like picking on us."

"Yeah." Simmons paused when he looked ahead. "That doesn't look good."

"What?" Church asked as he looked at where Simmons was glaring, instantly seeing a small pillar of smoke shooting up from one of the buildings in the market. "A buck says that it's Caboose."

"I don't know, burning things down sort of seems like O'Malley's style." Simmons said pensively, then shared a worried glare with Church. "Uh-oh..."

The trio darted towards Ponyville's marketplace, minds filled with worry at what was the source of the flame. As they arrived in the marketplace, they saw a group of ponies standing in front of Sugar Cube Corner, trying to look through the windows to see what was going on.

"Thank god." Church said calmly. "It's just Caboo-"

"Yes!" O'Malley snarled from the inside. "Burn like my passion for what I do."

"Do I still get the dollar?" Simmons asked, but Church ignored him.

Church pushed through them to get to the door with Simmons following close behind. Once he got to the door, he pushed it open and sprinted into the kitchen where he saw five small ponies and five large ponies standing in the kitchen. There was the Crusaders, Pinkie, Caboose, and the five other fragments. O'Malley, who he believed to be the one who caused the fire, was now whisking egg whites in a bowl.

"I am vanquishing this dish with my cold-hearted hooves of hatred. Muahahaha!" O'Malley boomed. "Your eggs will be eviscerated, just like in my dreams. Except replace eggs with everybody, and replace eviscerated with double eviscerated!"

"What the... fuck?" Church asked, starting with anger, but quickly changed to confusion.

"Oh! Church! Hi! Now you're all here!" Pinkie giggled as she pulled a cake out of the oven, one which was completely on fire.

"Bwuh?"

"Yeah, when we got Sigma and Theta and Scootaloo and Applebloom and Sweetie Belle I decided we would make a lot of treats and have a really big picnic, and then I decided that I should get Gary and O'Malley and Delta too!" Pinkie explained, answering Church's question that he hadn't directly said.

"Why is that cake on fire?" Church asked stupidly.

"O'Malley said he wanted oven duty, and I said okay." Pinkie said slowly, eyeing O'Malley. "But what he didn't say was that he wasn't going to watch the oven when he realized the fire was enclosed."

"You promised that there would be a blaze of glory!" O'Malley pouted, continuing with the egg whites.

"No, I said there wouldn't a blaze of glory." Pinkie rolled her eyes.

"I didn't listen that far. Once you said blaze my mind instantly became happy."

"I thought I said blaze after wouldn't." Pinkie tilted her head.

"Well... I didn't care for the first part of your sentence, I only listened at the end."

"And that's why you're funny, and that's why I forgive you." Pinkie said as she patted his head. "So how are the egg whites?"

"As scattered as your brains."

"Great!" Pinkie said, grabbing the bowl from him. "Girls, how is the cookie batter going?"

"Well it isn't on fire." Scootaloo said quietly.

"I believe that it not being on fire means you are doing your job admirably." Delta nodded.

"Delta, are you cooking too?" Simmons asked.

"No, I volunteered to be a supervisor of sorts." Delta said quietly.

"But you're probably the only one here who has any idea on how to cook things. Next to Pinkie." Church added, then glanced at her. "Actually, I'm still not sure on that one."

"You would be surprised." Delta said, nodding behind Church.

Church whipped around to see Gary standing next to a souffle, making sure it was staying upright.

"You're good at cooking?" Church asked, dumbfounded.

"Souffles are the liars of the cooking world." Gary mused as he pulled a souffle out of one of the other ovens. "As such my skills with them are rather adept."

"I should have stayed with the girls." Church muttered, walking out of the kitchen, not wanting to see more. "At least there I knew what the fuck to expect."

"Wait, we need you to help too!" Pinkie said, slamming a chef's hat on him.

"Lord help me."

Cooking Up Some Trouble

"O'Malley, move onto the icing with Theta, Sigma and the girls. Simmons, you watch Delta while he watches us. Spike, you go help Gary with the souffles. Church, you're with Caboose and I." Pinkie said firmly, giving a stern salute to everyone in the room.

"Okay." Everybody but Church, Simmons and Spike nodded.

"Uh, what exactly are we doing?" Church asked, watching as the fragments legitimately went to work on cooking of all things.

"Caboose, you tell him, I need to go get some more supplies." Pinkie said, quickly jumping into the closet.

Church lifted his brow at Caboose, watching as he stuffed his head into a pantry, looking through the pots and pans.

"Caboose, what are we, and by we I mean you and Pinkie, doing?" Church asked.

"We're... um, food." Caboose said simply, coming out of the cupboard with a large pot over his head. "Oh no, I am blind! I had so much to live for!"

Church rolled his eyes and hit the bottom of the dish, flipping it over Caboose's head. Caboose blinked dumbly at Church and smiled. Church let out a reluctant sigh, already growing angry at Caboose.

"Church, I'm not blind anymore!" Caboose whooped happily, jumping up and down.

"Yeah, I saved you. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo, can I go now?"

"I don't know, I think Pinkie wants you to stay and help with the cake." Caboose said, scratching his head.

"I can't bake so I'd probably just get in your way." Church muttered, taking off his hat, tossing it onto the counter. "How about I go tell the girls while you guys cook?"

"I don't know..."

"Trust me, it'll be faster this way." Church sighed, but when he turned around he saw Gary glaring at him. "What's wrong now? Don't want me to go talk to the shisnos?"

"You cannot leave." Gary hissed, eyes darting from side to side.

"What are you talking about?" Church grunted, not wanting to waste anymore time here.

"You cannot leave." Gary repeated. "I mean that in quite possibly the most literal and truthful way."

"Why not?"

"You can try to walk out, but you'll just find yourself back inside." Gary muttered shiftily. "Tell him, O'Malley."

"It's scary." O'Malley whispered in a low voice as he walked up to them. "I was the first to try leaving, but when I walked out the front door she was standing there, grinning wildly at me. I just slowly walked back inside."

"I was after that. I jumped out the window and ended up back inside due to a trampoline." Gary shivered. "She's a force to be reckoned with, Epsilon. Don't try and run. We are prisoners of her domain. It is best to do as she says and just finish this insufferable kitchen detail."

"Are you guys being serious?" Church asked sarcastically.

"Hey, what are you guys doing?" Pinkie asked after kicking the closet door open, suddenly wearing a general's hat.

"Er, nothing, just helping Church with his, um, caking." O'Malley saluted.

"Oh, good." Pinkie giggled as she hopped over to them, back to her sporadic self.

Church smirked at the two, but they continued staring at her warily. Pinkie stopped hopping when she reached them and nodded at them. They nodded back and hurried back to their stations. when she turned back to nod at Church, he was walking out.

"Where're you going?" Pinkie asked.

"Going to go tell the others about the picnic." Church replied, not stopping. "Got any time they need to be here by?"

"Well, it should be ready in less than two hours if you help, but it could take longer without you." Pinkie said, putting the chef's hat back on his head. "Come on, Churchy. I know you'd rather be somewhere quieter, but cooking is fun and relaxing. Caboose feels as if he hasn't seen you in fiveever." Pinkie leaned in and smiled. "That's more than forever, in case you didn't know."

"Who is going to tell the girls? And to a lesser extent, Tucker and the Reds?"

"We'll tell them when it's almost done. I don't like making them wait for time to pass, I'd rather just tell them right before it's done, that way when they get here they don't have to wait!"

"Fair enough." Church said reluctantly.

"So, how were things when we were gone?" Pinkie asked Church as she walked with him back to Caboose.

"Eventful is putting it lightly." Church muttered. "To make it short, two more fragments showed up."

"Aw, really? I was hoping we could have all of you here." Pinkie said sadly as she grabbed some dough and began flattening it with a rolling pin. She then shrugged and began humming. "Oh well, maybe next time."

"Yeah." Church said quietly, watching as Gary and O'Malley scrambled to get things done. "So, they are pretty scared of you now, huh?"

"Yeah, I felt he could use a good scare." Pinkie snorted, then leaned in to not let O'Malley hear her. "It was actually an accident, too. I had to go check on the twins, but I used a different way of getting up, and when I came back down the normal way, O'Malley was just leaving."

"Smooth." Church chuckled.

"Besides, Sigma was telling me how sad he was that you're never all really in the same place together." Pinkie continued. "When he said that, I said, "Really?" And he said, "Yes." And I said, "Well that is just unacceptable." So then I brought you all here."

"That was nice of you." Church said reluctantly, eyes now on Sigma as he smiled with Theta and the three Crusaders. "Hey, mind if I talk to Sigma for a second?"

"Sure. Just don't tell the others that it was an accident, okay? It's funnier this way."

"Deal." Church nodded and stood by the counter near Sigma.

Sigma continued doing work for half of a minute, talking idly with the Crusaders, until he saw Church standing near him. Quickly excusing himself, Sigma walked up next to Church and smiled wanly, but Church stared at him with dead seriousness.

"Doing things together certainly is... enriching, wouldn't you say Epsilon?"

"If by enriching you mean I have to learn how to grow eyes on the back of my heads to feel even a fraction safer, then yes." Church muttered, eyeing Sigma curiously. "So, this was your idea?"

"Don't say it. I know what you're thinking. For now, the matters you're accusing me of can wait. This is all in good fun." Sigma said, watching as Theta scooped up some cookie dough and shoved it in his mouth.

"Sure it is." Church said non-trustingly.

"I assume Pinkie told you about our little pranks, hm?" Sigma asked quietly.

"Your little pranks?"

"Yes. After she gave O'Malley a little scare, I helped her to deal with Gamma." Sigma said bemusedly. "She still hasn't gotten used to them yet, but I can read them with general ease. Knowing Gamma was going to jump out the window, I asked Pinkie if she could place a trampoline outside."

"So that one was your idea." Church said with a half-smirk. "Gary is scared shitless by her now, they think she can bend the laws of the universe."

"The girls told me a bit about Pinkie on our way here, like how friendly she is and how strange her behavior is. After being around somebody for a few hours, she flawlessly finds out every little bit of ones character, finding herself able to predict what they're going to do." Sigma chuckled. "I believe she simply plays it off like she doesn't know what she's doing, when in fact she knows exactly what is going on."

"Sig, you have to try this stuff!" Theta called out, waving a spoonful of cookie dough at him.

"Now, I know you came here to inquire more of me, but how about you put this little interrogation off for another day?"

"Fine." Church said, remembering that Sigma was not to be fully trusted. "Don't want Pinkie to break out her day planner again."

Test Drive

"How's everyone doing?" Pinkie asked as she walked up to Delta.

"Gamma and Spike appear to be done preparing the souffles." Delta said, feeling out of place. "Though I'm almost certain that those fall in less than half an hour..."

"Don't worry, I know how to fix them up." Pinkie shook her head at him then looked at Simmons. "The others?"

"Caboose is pulling the cake out of the oven and Church is surprisingly still here, so everything appears to be going pretty well" Simmons said, glancing to the small ponies. "Except for maybe them."

"Hm?" Pinkie asked, whipping her head around to look at the small treat station.

"We're done making the icing and the cookies are just about ready for eating." Sweetie Belle said, lumps of cookie dough on her muzzle. "Also there may be three or four cookies unaccounted for..."

"Why?" Pinkie asked, leaning in to inspect her.

"Dough shortage." Applebloom coughed innocently.

"Noted." Pinkie nodded, pulling a small plastic bag of cookies out of the bag of flour. "That's why I baked a few extra early, just in case any got lost in the process."

"Nice." Scootaloo smirked.

"So let's see; souffles, present and accounted for. Cake, being put together. Cookies, cooling down. Icing..." Pinkie trailed off and squirted some green icing onto her hoof to examine it. "Hmm, yup. Looks like it's holding well." Pinkie said quietly then licked it off her hoof. "Job well done, ponies. Looks like our picnic is just about ready. Church?"

"Yeah?"

"You go and get Tex- oh no, I forgot Tex too!" Pinkie gasped sadly.

"Doesn't matter, you wouldn't have had all of us here anyways." Church reminded her.

"Oh yeah, whoopsies!" Pinkie giggled, then hopped towards the door. "I'm going to go and get AJ, Sargarooni, Dashie and Tuck-Tuck."

"Sargarooni and Tuck-Tuck?" Church asked with a small fit of laughter. "Nice nicknames you gave them."

"Thanks! You go get Twi, Tex, Rarity and the other two fellows."

"And Grif?" Church inquired passively, wanting to hear her nickname for him.

"He'll just smell the food and know to come here." Pinkie said, then watched as her nose twitched and her tail shot straight up. "Time to go! Nopony wants stale and non-warmified food! Gary, O'Malley, don't let me catch you running off with any of the food, okay?"

"I wouldn't dream of it." Gary said, smiling thinly at her as O'Malley merely grunted nervously at her.

"Good. C'mon, Church!" Pinkie exclaimed as she rolled out the door.

Church looked from the door and then to Caboose, who was already putting a thick layer of icing onto the cake. He then looked at the nervous pair of fragments. He raised his brow at Spike, asking if he was going to go with him, but Spike smiled and shook his head. With a shrug, Church walked out the door to see Pinkie hopping in circles in front of the shop.

"Need a lift?" Pinkie asked.

"No, I'm-" Church started, but found himself already being lifted by the cotton candy colored crony. "Jesus, you're strong."

"Thanks." Pinkie said just before pushing Church deep into a cannon that he could have sworn was not there before.

"Wait, I don't need a ride!" Church yelped as he tried climbing out of the launcher. "I can walk there just fine!"

"Yeah, but this is more fun." Pinkie giggled, pushing the tip of the cannon to be pointing in the right direction.

"For who?"

Instead of answering Church, Pinkie decided to slam her hoof onto the button that was on the back of the cannon, sending him soaring through the sky. Church threw his hooves over his eyes and began yelling, back legs flailing helplessly as he soared through the air. He slipped his hoof off of his right eye to see where he was going, and as he expected all he saw was a window with Rarity, Twilight and Tex on the other side. He smashed through the window and crashed into the ground, causing the mares around him to gasp.

"Herk. Bleah." Church choked, left foreleg twitching every few seconds.

"Church, you okay?" Tex asked, rushing to pick him up.

"You heard what I said. I'm dead, leave me alone." Church said shakily.

"You and I both know death is too good for you." Tex smirked, throwing his foreleg over her neck for support as she lifted him off the ground.

"A guy can dream, Tex. A guy can dream." Church sighed as he shook shards of glass loose from his mane.

"Why did you break my window?" Rarity tutted, quickly running into the next room to grab a broom.

"It was Pinkie's idea." Church muttered when she came back and began sweeping the area around him. "She wanted me to give you a message."

"I should have guessed as much. We really should speak to her about her means of transportation later." Rarity sighed, dumping the glass into a waste bucket. "You'd think her common sense would occasionally get the better of her."

"Answer me honestly, since I'm still not quite sure on it myself. Do you think Pinkie has any common sense?"

"Well, maybe uncommon sense would fit her better." Twilight smiled. "But it's best just to let her do her own thing."

"Yeah, you guys can keep saying that all you want, just don't come crying to me when she launches you somewhere."

"We're not crybabies like you, so we won't." Tex chuckled. "So what's her message?"

"A picnic." Church said simply, then looked at Rarity. "Have you given them their clothing yet?"

"They're fitting themselves into their last ensemble." Rarity said as she stepped next to him. "They look positively darling in most of what I gave them, but I believe I truly saved the best for last in this case. It is something I cooked up a while back when I was having a little phase."

"What sort of phase?" Church asked semi-nervously.

"A sports phase, so to speak. Have you heard about the Wonderbolts yet?"

"Uh, those are the guys Tucker flew against or whatever, right?"

"That is them. You see, I figured that I was only making clothing for a few select groups of ponies. You know, the fashionistas, the upper crust, the nobility. Then I remembered that there was an untapped market that not many ponies have went into in regards to fashion." Rarity said, voice growing louder with excitement as she stopped next to the dressing room.

"And that would be?"

"Sporting apparel!" Rarity curtsied just as the door to the dressing room opened.

Church stared passively as Eta and Iota walked out of the dressing room, both of them wearing skin tight, bright yellow, full-body flight suits.

"Pfffthahahaha!" Church laughed, holding onto his stomach as he laughed. "They look ridiculous!"

"Pardon?" Rarity asked, smile not wavering.

"They look like they're wearing spandex! They're not going to fight crime, they're going to be trying to blend in!"

"And what better way to blend in than to try and set yourself apart?" Rarity asked, making Church listen intently. "You see, there is a certain effect ponies have when they act as if they are well-known. It is one that I have had firsthoof experience with."

"And that would be?"

"Ponies act like they know things just to not seem out of the loop." Rarity smiled. "While, yes, I admit that what they're wearing may seem outlandish, ponies will not bat an eye at them, just under the belief that if they did they might make fools of themselves. We act like they are a travelling flight duo and ponies will simply accept it, possibly even go as far to say as they recognize them which will convince others that they are who we say they are."

"Wow, that... that actually makes sense to me." Church nodded slowly.

"Thank you." Rarity smirked, now walking towards the door. "Now, how about we go out and test my theory?"

Perfect Day

"Ah still don't understand why don't we just have th' picnic at the Acres." Applejack said quietly as she and the group walked out of Ponyville, heading towards grassy hills.

"Because you're there almost everyday." Pinkie rolled her eyes.

"Because ah live and work there." Applejack sighed.

"Exactly! You have to change it up a little, start moving some more."

"Found a good spot over here!" Rainbow Dash called out, her figure barely visible from the distance she was.

"Good going, Dashie!" Pinkie yelled back, then began bouncing towards the blue pegasi with ease, even though she had several picnic baskets on her back.

"I don't understand why we can't just sit here and eat." Grif complained over his growling stomach as he eyed the bouncing baskets.

"Because it's the perfect picnic for the perfect group so we need the perfect spot, duh."

"We're hardly the perfect group, and every picnic is the perfect picnic in my opinion, so a spot shouldn't make any dif-"

"There's even a couple of clouds to sit on!" Tucker said loudly.

"Fuck yeah, food-nap time!" Grif whooped, shooting towards them with Pinkie Pie.

"That is the best time!" Caboose agreed, galloping full speed with Pinkie.

"He works pretty hard to be lazy, huh?" Scootaloo asked quietly.

"Yeah, his mind is an example of an enigma at it's finest." Simmons chuckled, then saw Scootaloo staring at him unknowingly. "Basically a paradox. You know, a self-contradicting statement?"

"Yeah, that's... great, Simmons." Scootaloo said, smiling innocently at him, quickly turning to Theta and the two other Crusaders. "You guys wanna play tag?"

"Sounds good t' me!" Applebloom nodded, hitting Sweetie Belle on her flank. "You're it!"

"Hey!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, chasing after her tagger.

The remainder of the group smiled as they watched the Crusaders and their purple sidekick run in the field, trying to tackle each other to the ground. Eventually they arrived at a flat clearing at the bottom of a few small hills where Pinkie was setting up a large blanket for them to sit on, while Caboose was sitting next to the pile of woven containers.

"What do you guys think?" Rainbow Dash asked, head hanging over the cloud.

"Looks like... a spot." Church said slowly.

"I know!" Pinkie giggled, then nodded at Caboose to begin bringing out the food. "Well, what are you guys waiting for?"

The collective shrugged at each other and began filing onto the large cover to find a spot where they would be comfortable.

"Fluttershy, you coming up?" Grif asked as he peered over the large cloud with Rainbow Dash.

"I'm okay down here." Fluttershy said, crouching closer to the ground.

"You sure? I mean, it's pretty comfy..."

"It's okay." Fluttershy smiled reassuringly. After looking around for a few seconds, she settled on the blanket.

"Alright, suit yourself." Grif shrugged, setting his sights on the ridiculously dressed winged fragments. "How about you guys?"

Eta and Iota stared at their wings flapped them one after the other, then shook their heads at him.

"Sweet, more cloud for me!"

"Maybe we should have brought the pets." Fluttershy said. "I'm sure Angel and Haley would have loved to be here."

"There's already two dozen of us here, so it would be pretty hard to keep track of more than that." Pinkie snorted as she began throwing cakes onto the blanket.

"There's two dozen of us?" Spike asked, looking at all the stallions and mares that surrounded him.

"Yeah, first there's the watchers and the watchees, that's a dozen by itself, then we have the three fillies, then we have Spikey and Texy to bring the total up to seventeen, along with the tax collector, the mayor's assistant, the two old-turned-young colts, the green guy who's trying to figure me out and the twins that came in to play earlier, bringing the number up to twenty four!" Pinkie exclaimed, panting heavily at her long-winded sentence as most of the ponies around her stared at her silently. "Wow, there are a lot of us, huh?"

"I like her style." Sarge nodded approvingly as he sat on the grass next to the blanket, having been the only one besides the fragments to have followed any of what she just said. "Needs a few more subtractions and divisions thrown in there to be more convoluted, but you'll get there."

"Thanks, Sarge!" Pinkie smiled, holding a tray to him. "Cookie?"

"Don't mind if I do." Sarge said, blindly grabbing a cookie off the tray. Before he put it in his mouth, something about it's shape caught his eye and he smiled. "Where'd you learn what a shotgun shell looked like?"

"Caboose picked it up one time after you coincidentally shot near him and he told me about it so I made it for you!"

"Well. I'll be damned. Simmons, you've been replaced." Sarge chuckled instantly as he bit into the back of the shell.

"What, is Pinkie your favorite Red now?" Simmons asked dejectedly.

"Of course not. Applejack and I are tied for my favorite Red! Pinkie is now second and seeing as how Lopez isn't here, you're third!"

"Oh." Simmons grumbled. "At least I can still take solace in the fact that Grif is your least favorite..."

"That's the spirit!"

"Cookie?" Pinkie asked, now holding the tray up to Simmons. "One's in the shape of a calculator!"

"Thanks." Simmons said, slightly happier.

"Awfully nice day t' throw a picnic." Applejack smiled, trying to brighten up the mood. "If ya told me earlier-"

"You don't have to bring anything, silly." Pinkie giggled. "We already have an apple tree cookie for you!"

"Ya sure made a lotta unique cookies." Applejack smirked.

"Consider it a token of appreciation for everything you have been doing. You did what many would not bother doing." Sigma said, smiling tenuously at her.

"Aw, it wasn't a biggie." Applejack said sheepishly.

"No, it was. It may have been easy for you to part with what you have given us, but what you have given us has been greatly appreciated. Food, shelter..." Sigma said, watching as Theta darted after the trio. "Even companionship, to a certain extent. We have a lot to be grateful for. Upon my meeting of you I felt great tension in you. My feelings were confirmed when I found you glaring at us when you thought we were not watching. Don't deny it." Sigma chuckled when Applejack opened her mouth to argue. "Even with your mistrust you still treated us as fairly as you could, which says a lot about your character. So for all you have done, as well as Granny Smith for putting up with Gamma's jokes, Big Macintosh for providing someone who could prevent Omega from doing any damage, and even Apple Bloom for giving her time, as well as a her friends', to make Theta more comfortable. For that, we thank you." Sigma said, shooting O'Malley and Gary a harsh leer. "Right?"

"Of course. You're very generous." Gary said with a reluctant sigh. "For a shisno."

"Yes, If not for you I would have had to tie up a home's occupants and live there." O'Malley muttered forcibly, then thought of what he said. "Actually, that sounds delightfully riveting..."

"I'm afraid that is the best you can hope out of Gamma and Omega in terms of being appreciative." Delta said.

"Uh, ya'll are welcome." Applejack said dumbly, not expecting the sudden thank you. Shaking her head, she suddenly began feeling guilty. "Though ah guess ah wasn't really fair t' ya'll when ah first met ya."

"I would not say that. They are classified as highly dangerous, and while that by no means you should treat them poorly, it does not inspire you to completely far to them."

"Come on, you guys. We aren't here to talk, we're here to eat!" Pinkie said, throwing plates in front of each of her friends. "Now let's dig in!"

Warped Convictions

For the entirety of the picnic, O'Malley and Gary kept to themselves, only staying because they were worried that Pinkie would catch them and drag them back, while Theta and Spike played with the Crusaders. The girls spent most of the time talking, or rather listening, about the dresses Rarity had given the two silent pegasi, who simply sat in silence the entirety of the time, while the Reds and Blues simply sat awkwardly, not feeling comfortable being around each other so pleasantly. For Twilight, everybody at the picnic was acting as she expected, bar Sigma as he actively talked with the non-fragments as if they had been friends for a while, making Twilight grow suspicious of him. Sigma sensed this as he caught her watching him every now and again, but continued as if he hadn't noticed a thing. This continued while time passed them by. Soon enough, when they finally stopped talking and the food well had run dry, they realized that the moon was already in the sky.

"My, it certainly is late, isn't it?" Rarity asked when she finally noticed the time.

"Yeah, we should probably get goin'." Applejack sighed as she got off the blanket and stretched. "Gotta get the two winged ones settled in nicely at the farm."

"Yeah, they must feel tired after all that being quiet and sitting still the entire day." Church said sarcastically.

"I take offense to that." Grif muttered groggily, instantly waking up when he heard the comment. "Doing nothing is hard work."

"By that logic doing hard work is nothing, right?"

"No, that's just Simmons work." Grif said, jumping off the cloud, landing next to Fluttershy. "C'mon, we should probably get back to feed the animals."

"Okay." Fluttershy nodded, slowly and gracefully getting off the ground with a silent yawn. "They must be starving."

"I know I am." Grif chuckled, setting a quick pace towards the wrong direction.

"Er, Grif?" Fluttershy coughed. "That's not the right way."

"I knew that..."

"It was nice spending time with you all." Fluttershy smiled as Grif began heading the right way. "We should do this more often."

"Wouldn't count on it." Sarge grunted as he began walking the other way.

The group slowly said their goodbyes and began parting ways. As Sigma began walking away with the Crusaders, he felt a light tap on his back. Turning around, Sigma saw a purple unicorn giving him a tight smile.

"Sigma, do you think you can come with us?" Twilight asked slowly, eyes narrowing on him. "I want to have a few words with you."

"I don't see why not." Sigma said hesitantly, then glanced at Theta. "You don't mind, do you?"

"I guess not." Theta yawned, already walking away with the Crusaders. "Probably going to go to sleep early anyways."

"Good." Sigma nodded, turning to Twilight with a strange smile. "Lead the way."

"Thank you." Twilight said and dipped her head at Church, Tex and Spike.

Sigma followed the librarian and the others to the library, remaining silent as Church talked with Tex. They quickly arrived at the library and Twilight asked Tex to bring Spike to his bed. Agreeing, Tex let Twilight put Spike on her back and she quickly made her way upstairs, leaving a hesitant Church with the Element of Magic and his creativity.

"I want to speak to Sigma in private." Twilight said, making Church look at her quizzically. "I just need to figure something out."

"Okay." Church sighed after a moment's hesitation, not wanting to let her interact with the silver-tongued colt. "Just make it quick."

"I will." Twilight promised. After another few seconds passed, Church shrugged and walked up the stairs.

Once Twilight was sure everyone was upstairs and wouldn't hear her, she turned to Sigma and walked towards him. Smiling, Sigma waited until she stopped a few paces away from him, waiting for her to speak.

'Why are you acting like this?"

"Acting? You barely know me, so how would you know how I act?"

"Your reputation doesn't exactly display any proof of you being this..."

"Nice?" Sigma asked, almost icily.

"Yes. I mean, you're supposed to be evil, yet here you are-"

"Dangerous. I'm classified as dangerous."

"Even so, being classified as that should mean that you're, well..."

"Like the others?" Sigma asked, and Twilight stared at him with growing wariness. "Like Omega and Gamma?"

"Precisely. It doesn't seem right that you're treating people with respect. You should be violent, or at least show some signs of having social problems. Nopony can hide their true selves that well when they're as dangerous as you."

"Dangerous is a label people, as well as ponies, it seems, throw about without much thought. After all, I could say the same about you." Sigma said, now shooting her a small glare. "I'm labeled as dangerous just for what I can do with my words. You, however, can be considered far more dangerous than I. You are highly intelligent, like myself, and as an added bonus you can use magic, whereas I cannot. So treating me like a villain based solely on the fact that I am dangerous is hypocritical."

"Yeah, but I'm not known for manipulating ponies." Twilight said brashly, then let out a deep breathe, feeling bad for snapping at him.

"What is this really about?" Sigma asked, eyes reading Twilight like the she would a book.

"I have a feeling that you're..." Twilight trailed off, now not sure if confronting him was the wisest of moves.

"I won't hurt you and I know what you're thinking, so just say it." Sigma said politely.

"I think the reason you're being so nice to everypony is to let our guard down, and I know you're still trying to put the Alpha back together." Twilight said nervously. "Right?"

"As close as I can get to it, yes." Sigma admitted quietly. "But being nice? No, that comes free of charge. I don't have to be nice to do it, I just prefer to be that way."

"But why are you doing it?" Twilight asked, now trying to read him as well as he's been reading her. "For power?"

"Power? No." Sigma grunted, turning back to face Twilight. "Power can be achieved in other ways. I'm doing this for all of us, not just myself."

"Then why?" Twilight asked, realizing she was raising her voice, then cleared her throat to be quieter. "The Alpha was insane. Why would you want to go through that again?"

"Twilight, the Alpha isn't crazy or unstable. He never was. We're the unstable ones. Gamma, Omega and myself were the ones who drove him to insanity. He would have remained completely sane and stable had it not been for the Director and us breaking him." Sigma said, voice curiously sad as he made direct eye contact with the unicorn. "I just want to fix what I broke. I have had to live with myself for years, knowing I broke myself, and in turn hurt those that were closest to me. The Meta? That was my way of trying to fix things. I agree the things I got him to do were reprehensible, such as harming the 'innocent' Freelancers, but I tried to make sure what I did was quick and as painless as possible. But trying to live... just knowing everything was my fault. Knowing I essentially killed myself. It's unbearable. And the pain I've put the other fragments through just adds insult to injury. You classify my actions as evil and believe me to be a monster, like Omega. I don't want to be considered a monster."

"Then what do you want?"

"I want another chance. A chance to undo what has become undone." Sigma said, looking at the ground, face ashen with remorse and disgust at himself. "A chance to be a better brother."

Twilight stared silently at Sigma as he stared at the ground, mouth ajar as he took silent breaths, waiting for her judgement. She walked next to him and sat a foot away from him, trying to read his body language. His eyes were closed, and by the peacefulness of his breaths she got the impression that a relatively large weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Are you telling the truth?" Twilight asked firmly.

"Yes, I am." Sigma nodded somberly. "Even though I'm sure my word means relatively little to you."

"Okay." Twilight said, exhaling deeply as she thought over his words. "I think I believe you."

"Thank you." Sigma sighed, not questioning her sincerity.

"But that doesn't mean I'll keep quiet. I have to tell the others, including Church. I just want you to know that I understand." Twilight added. "You can leave now."

"As long as someone understands, it will feel more worthwhile." Sigma smiled thinly as Twilight turned towards the stairs. Knowing Twilight could and would eliminate all chances of rebuilding himself, as well as knowing that she would never fully help him, he knew what he had to say to at least keep her quiet for a little while. "Oh, and Twilight?"

"Yes, Sigma?" Twilight asked quietly.

"I just want you to know that reaching metastability also means giving us humanity, allowing us to have free will. Meaning we will no longer be forced to love, freeing our heart." Sigma said, the fire in his eyes flickering about rapidly as Twilight stopped moving. With a smirk, he pushed the door open and walked out. "Have a fine night, Twilight Sparkle."

Snake in the Shelf

Twilight sat at the table in the main room of the library, paper laid out in front of her. The paper had a dark line going down the middle of it, making two columns. On the top of the left column there was a plus symbol, whereas the right column had a negative symbol. The right column also had several points and sentences, while the left one had a single line. On the top of the paper was a question with four words; do I stay quiet? Twilight had sat at that table since the sun began to rise, trying to convince herself whether or not she would tell Church and the others. Her eyes rested on the plus symbol, then slowly drifted down to her one and only positive of not telling him. Church would be free. She frowned as she dipped her quill in her bottle of ink, determined to try and find more than one reason to not speak up, but found it immensely difficult since her mind kept presenting mostly cons of staying quiet. With that thought, she sighed and began writing on the right column again. After she finished with her point, she began to read over the negatives to see if there were any ways she could cancel them out.

The first one being Delta had said there was a high chance of him being unstable, but maybe he did not know about what Sigma did. The next point questioned the fact that Sigma may have lied the entire time. Just because he was not deceit does not mean he was unable to deceive. What if he really does want power? The list went on for nearly a dozen more points, but to her surprise, none of those were the reason as to why she was still unsure as to whether or not she was going to tell him. What made her hesitant was her positive point and that it was the only point she could counter, bringing it to a possible negative. That was the thought that maybe she didn't know if she really want to give Church freewill so he could be happy, bur rather wanted to keep it a secret just so she had a chance to be with him. There was a reason the Director loved Allison, so she knew for the same reason that technically Church should love Tex. Thoughts continued bouncing through her head, knowing she should tell him. That she didn't have the right not to tell him. But the hope that Sigma wasn't trying to trick and that she had a shot for finding her held strong.

"What are you doing, Twi?" Spike asked quietly as he watched the quill with the lavender aura flick about on the paper, sitting at the table with her.

"I'm just writing a few things down, making observations." Twilight said absentmindedly, mind wrestling with itself.

"Observations about what?"

"The fragments, how they've been acting. Trying to find any patterns."

"They seem pretty one-dimensional to me." Spike laughed.

"They certainly do seem that way, don't they?" Twilight said with a strained smile.

"Well... yeah. That is what I said." Spike said, then resumed watching Twilight as she dipped her quill in the bottle of ink and went back to her notes. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't look fine..." Spike said, beginning to smile when he saw bags under her slightly bloodshot eyes. "Did you not sleep enough? You're always telling me I need my sleep, and then you go and do this?"

"I slept just fine." Twilight snapped irritably at her assistant's giggling, then quickly made eye contact with him. "Sorry. I guess I didn't get as much sleep as I should have."

"That's okay." Spike smiled, then cleared his throat. "So, what did Sigma tell you last night?"

"I'll tell you when you're older."

"I'm not a kid anymore, remember?" Spike mumbled.

"It's just really complicated..." Twilight huffed sadly as she turned away from him.

"Come on, they're living with a bunch of wild cards over there!" Tex grunted as she walked down the stairs, drawing Twilight's attention to their conversation.

"I wouldn't call the Apples wild cards." Church said sarcastically as he descended with her.

"You're a regular Kevin Hart." Tex rolled her eyes.

"I don't know, that doesn't really seem like his sort of joke." Church shrugged as he reached the bottom of the steps, seeing Twilight staring at him firmly. "What's up?"

Twilight opened her mouth to tell him about, but the words caught in her throat and she looked at the ground feeling a mixture of being ashamed, frustrated and confused. She shook her head and went back, trying to find more reasons as to why telling him would be the best route, hoping to convince herself.

"She doesn't know who he is." Tex said dismissively, going back to Church. "You just sort of dumped other parts of you onto her without really thanking her as much as you should. Don't you think that's kind of a bullshit move on your part? I mean, without Applejack doing anything almost everything probably would have gone wrong."

"I know." Church sighed deeply. "I guess I should go see if there's anything I can do to help out."

"Good. I'll come with you." Tex said with a satisfied smirk. "Want to make sure you don't whimp ou-"

"Wait!" Twilight yelped, knowing she had to make her choice now or never. She then coughed when both Church and Tex raised their brows at her. "Sorry, it's just that I need to tell you something."

"Sure, what is it?" Church asked.

"I'll... tell you when we get back. I think it can wait an hour or so." Twilight said meekly, starting off weakly but ending with determination. She realized that the real reason she wanted to go with him was to prevent Sigma from trying to convince Church or any of the other fragments to join him. "I need to talk to Applejack anyways."

"Can I come too?" Spike asked.

"Nah, watching Church beg for forgiveness is more of an adult thing." Tex said, patting Spike's head as she walked by. "Sorry, kiddo."

"What about me?" The Necronomicon asked from his usual spot on the bookshelf as Spike scowled and went to sit at the table. "Daring is attractive and she listens, but there is only so much I can tell her. And since you guys were so rude as to not bring me to the picnic..."

"There was a reason for that." Church muttered.

"Really now? Mind telling me that reason?"

"I can give you more than one, but I'll just stick to two. First off; you can't eat." Church said and the Necronomicon opened his mouth to argue. "Secondly... well, you're generally just not good company overall."

"I could say the same about you..." The Necronomicon muddled.

"Quit your arguing and come on." Tex said as she walked out the door with an anxious Twilight.

"Yeah, yeah. Hey, Spike, since you're not busy do you mind looking after paper stack over there?" Church asked as he trotted towards the door. Spike nodded reluctantly and Church nodded at him.

"Nobody sides with Ol'-" The Necronomicon began, but was interrupted by the sound and sight of the front door closing. "Darn it. You know, for ones who tell themselves that they're kind and understanding, they're pretty rude..."

"Tell me about it." Spike sighed, crossing his arms in annoyance.

"Say, you know what would be funny?" The Necronomicon asked with a small, foreboding chuckle. "If we pulled a small prank."

"No way! Twilight would kill me if I did that!" Spike said, turning away from the book.

"What, don't you want them to start taking you seriously? Because they never will if all you do is pout like a child."

"I guess..." He turned his head slightly to look at the Necronomicon. "But what kind of prank did you have in mind? I don't want them to be hurt."

"I can assure you that there will be no physical pain whatsoever." The Necronomicon coughed coyly.

"Okay, I'm game." Spike shrugged. "What do I have to do?"

"See that bottle of ink over there?" The Necronomicon asked curiously, eyes at the other end of the table where Twilight was writing.

"Yeah. What about it?"

"Pour a bit into my pages." The Necronomicon said quietly as his eyes began to glow a darker shade of red, mind drifting to the conversation Twilight and Sigma had last night, having been completely forgotten. "We're going to take a letter."

Conflict of Interests

The trio soon found themselves at the farm, where they could see Sarge laying on his back, head against the gate to the farm, seemingly asleep.

"Sarge." Church said as he walked past him.

"Blues, what are you doing here?" Sarge asked as he flipped his stetson hat up

"I thought you were against resting." Tex said hesitantly.

"I am against it."

"Then why were you sleeping?"

"I wasn't sleeping." Sarge replied as he looked at Tex with a grin. "I was waiting."

"For what?" Twilight asked.

"Anything." Sarge said as he pulled his hat back down and laid his front hooves on his stomach. "Better to be prepared for everything than to be prepared for nothing."

"Good to hear, is Applejack around?" Church asked impatiently.

"Depends, what do you need to see her for?"

"I want to talk to her."

"About what?"

"That's really none of your business."

"Blue, any business related to the Apples is Red business, and Red business is my business." Sarge said, tilting his head back to just barely make eye contact with Church. "Now, don't make me ask again."

"Church wants to beg for forgiveness and see if there is anything he can do around the farm to repay the Apples." Tex said loudly.

"Blue begging and working in one day? Never thought I'd see that little double whammy." Sarge chuckled, then motioned his head towards the farm. "She's in there."

"I would have never guessed." Church said sarcastically.

"That's because Blues are scientifically proven to have smaller minds and don't understand basic logic!" Sarge said, either not realizing Church wasn't serious, or not caring and just wanted to make fun of him. "How else do you explain Delta being green?"

"Green is half blue..."

"It's also half yellow, cancelling out the blue part due to yellow being half the constitution of the color orange, which is also equal part red!"

"So you're admitting yellow and orange are both a part of red?" Church asked with a brow, now only wanting to annoy Sarge. "I'll have to tell Grif of this."

"Not entirely red, but connected." Sarge admitted reluctantly.

"And green is closer to blue than yellow is to red."

"By saying that you're also saying yellow is as close to red as it is to blue, and do you really want Grif on your side? Because I don't want him on mine..."

"Grif really is a bit more on the orange side."

"Get out of my sight." Sarge growled, pointing at the farm.

"Gladly." Church said and began walking away.

"That was confusing..." Twilight said quietly as she trailed after Church with Tex. "Were they really like this before you came here?"

"Of course not." Tex sighed. "Their arguments have become far more intellectual and easier to understand since they got here."

"You aren't kidding, are you?" Twilight asked with a smile, and Tex replied with a simple shake of the head.

With a small laugh, Twilight and Tex caught up with Church as he walked up to the door. Twilight sped up ahead of him and knocked on the door. The door slowly opened, showing a curious Sigma with his head tilted to the side.

"Can you go get Applejack?" Church asked from behind Twilight.

"Very well." Sigma nodded reluctantly, feeling a strange sensation in his head for a reason unknown to him.

Applejack came to the door several seconds later, followed by Sigma, who watched the encounter silently.

"Heya, Twi." Applejack greeted while Sigma tried to place what was missing about Twilight. "Nice day, ain't it?"

"Beautiful." Twilight agreed with a relaxed tone.

To Church, Tex and Applejack, Twilight seemed like her regular self on the outside, but to him, something seemed off about her. She was neither glaring darts of contempt at him, nor was she gazing at Church longingly like he expected her to be doing. Instead, she was smiling at Sigma, and though it was a friendly smile, he felt extremely unnerved about it.

"What brings ya down here?" Applejack asked while Sigma tried to place what was missing about her.

"I just wanted to thank you." Church murmured as he stepped next to Twilight. "I'm sure the fragments frustrate you daily what with them being hard to get along with, myself included. I just wanted to know if there was, well, anything I could do to help you around."

"Ya wanna help?" Applejack inquired with a curious smirk. "No offense, but you're as thin as a twig, so ah don't think ya could do much on th' farmin' front. An' ah heard about how much trouble ya have with magic, so ah don't think usin' that would be of any help either."

"Shut it." Church muttered as Tex chuckled at him, then looked back to Applejack. "I still kind of feel like an asshole for just dumping them on you though, and you can't be happy about having two more of them on such short notice."

"They're quiet an' don't seem keen on causin' trouble."

"But they're not not a burden either..." Church insisted.

"Ya really want t' find a way t' help in some way, don't ya?"

"Yeah."

"Ah see." Applejack said, raising a brow at him. "Can ya cook or bake?"

"Probably not."

"Then ah guess that's outta th' question." Applejack nodded. "How 'bout kids? How good are ya with them?"

"Well, I-" Church started, memories about Junior popping into his mind. Junior was basically like a kid. Sort of. "Not at all."

"Then makin' sure th' girls stay out of trouble ain't the brightest of idea either." Applejack said, shaking her head when Church opened his mouth. "Church, ah told ya, it's alright. Ya don't need t' do anythin' for me. They're stayin' outta trouble, well, mostly anyways, and they keep t' themselves. As ya'll can see we have enough food here for both sellin' as well as eatin'. Heck, we could probably make a few houses outta the remainin' apples every year."

"That's nice of you." Tex said, feeling sad that she didn't get to watch Church break a sweat for once.

"S'what friends do for each other." Applejack smiled. "But, while you're here, why not stay for some grub? Don't got any plans, do ya?"

"I don't think we do." Church replied as he turned to Tex.

"I could eat."

"Twi?" Church asked, now looking at Twilight.

"I don't know." Twilight said slowly when she saw Sigma squinting at her. "I did want to get back to the library..."

"Why would you want to do that?" Sigma asked ominously. "You wouldn't want to offend Applejack, would you?"

"I guess not." Twilight said quietly.

"Glad t' hear it." Applejack beamed, trotting back inside. "Ah'll go tell Granny Smith we'll be havin' company over."

"You're lucky everyone here is nice, otherwise you would've had a hell of a debt to pay." Tex muttered.

"Tell me about it." Church said as he walked ahead. "Well, let's go."

"You guys go on. I want to talk to Sigma." Twilight said, almost with a whisper.

"Er, alright." Tex nodded as she walked inside with Church. "Did we miss something?"

"You're getting that feeling too?"

Once Tex and Church had entered, Sigma drifted towards her and closed the door behind him, then began walking around Twilight in an attempt to intimidate her. Even as a colt that was half the size of Twilight, he normally would have made her shiver, but she simply watched him walk around her.

"What do you wish to talk about?" Sigma asked, stopping between Twilight and the door when he realized he was not being successful.

"I'm telling Church." Twilight said simply and Sigma's eye twitched. "I just wanted you to know that."

"Why would you do that?" Sigma stuttered, beginning to tremble with a small amount of fury. "What about Church being free?"

"If I let you make Church turn himself into what you want, then he won't be free."

"W-what about love? Surely you want to-"

"That doesn't matter to me. What matters to me is friendship. That means I know how to do something you don't, and that is putting others before myself, even if it hurts me to do it. It's his life to live, not mine. I care about him far too much as a friend to ruin his life." Twilight said, eyes pained. "Now, if you don't mind, I have plans with my good friends and I don't want to keep them waiting."

Change of Heart

While eating with the others, Twilight spent most of her time watching for Sigma, making sure he did not do anything. She had expected him to come in and say something or deny any allegations of wanting to become the Alpha, but he did not show. Twilight then began to wonder if he was planning on any way to silence her. He has shown that he is willing to kill to get what he wants before, so what's stopping him from doing it again to her?

"Are ya okay, Twi?" Applejack asked, noticing how she was now looking about nervously.

"Er, yes. Yes I am." Twilight said slowly, forcing herself to look at Applejack as straightly as she could before finishing her slice of apple pie. "This was delicious as usual, Granny Smith."

"Thank ya kindly, miss Twilight." Granny Smith smiled as she grabbed the plate with her teeth and placed it on her back. "Was awfully kind of ya t' drop by for a visit."

"It was nothing."

"Yeah, it really was." Tex chuckled as she watched Church politely finish his slice.

"Well, we really should be going. Come on you two." Twilight said quickly, hopping off her chair, but bowed her head at Granny Smith. "Thank you for having us over on such short notice."

"Nonsense, if ya ever need anythin', don't hesitate t'..." Granny Smith started as she closed her eyes pleasantly, just to stop when she opened them and saw that Twilight was no longer in front of her. "...Ask us. She's a strange filly, ain't she?"

"One of th' strangest." Applejack chuckled as Church and Tex said their thank yous to the eldest Apple. "See both of ya later."

"No hard feelings about me not being able to help you?" Church asked, pausing by the door.

"None at all." Applejack assured him while she rolled her eyes.

"Not even a little?" Tex fished.

"Tex, stop tryin' t' watch him work." Applejack laughed.

"Hey, can't blame a girl for trying, right?"

"Guess not."

Church and Tex found Twilight standing on the porch, tapping her hooves impatiently. She nodded at them and led them back to the library, still looking over her shoulder. Church and Tex both began feeling anxious just being around Twilight, knowing for a fact that something was on her mind, but didn't know what to say. In the end, they decided to remain quiet on their trip to the library. When Twilight arrived at the front door, she let out a heavy sigh of relief.

"Alright, I'll bite." Church grumbled, putting his right hoof on Twilight's back. "Why are you acting like Grif does whenever somebody mentions work?"

"That's what I needed to talk to you about." Twilight said quietly. "I need to talk to you about Sigma."

"What did he do now?"

"Last night I talked to him." Twilight said shiftily, then looked at the buildings that surrounded the library for any signs of the menacing fragment. "Let's go inside, I'll tell you more there."

Church shared a shrug with Tex and opened the door to the library. As they began to walk in, they saw a large figure in the middle of the room, standing next to the Necronomicon. When Twilight had entered, the door became surrounded by a golden aura and gently closed shut, making it so nobody outside would see the Princess of the sun, staring seriously at the trio that just entered.

"Celestia..." Twilight gasped, mouth ajar.

"Twilight Sparkle. Church." Celestia said thinly as her eyes darted to the dark earth pony. "Who is your friend?"

"Tex." Tex muttered, eyes narrowing on the large alicorn, instantly knowing it to be Celestia, thus instantly not trusting her.

"It's nice to meet you, Tex." Celestia said as she tilted her head forward, sight flicking towards the Necronomicon on the table. "I do not wish to be rude, but I cannot spend anymore time pretending like nothing is wrong. Twilight, if I may ask, why do you have such a dangerous item in your possession?"

"How did you find out we had it?" Church asked, not willing to answer her question.

"I sent her a letter." The Necronomicon muttered. "Or mores specifically, Spike did. I simply wrote it, and I made him send it without reading it. Heh, he didn't give it a second thought. He really doesn't like it when you treat him like a child. I guess that's what you get for not showing either of us the respect we deserve."

"Where is he now?" Tex growled.

"She told him to wait upstairs while she waited to speak with you." The Necronomicon chuckled.

"You son of a-" Church began.

"Peace, Church. I knew you had him before he sent the letter." Celestia interrupted softly.

"Wait, you did?" The Necronomicon asked. "How come you didn't come get me earlier.

"Because I had hoped Twilight would have come to see me about it later." Celestia sighed deeply, gazing sadly at her student. "Twilight, the aura you thought you disabled didn't disallow people from entering, it simply told me when somepony entered. Not who, but just that somebody did."

"Oh." Twilight said, looking at the ground. "Princess, I'm so, so sorry, it's just when Caboose died... Church and Pinkie distanced themselves from everyone... I couldn't just let my friends feel that amount of pain, especially when the one who caused it was that innocent and undeserving of what happened to him."

"I know you brought him back to life." Celestia nodded sadly. "I just hoped I wasn't right."

"H-how did you know?"

"I don't think you would have grabbed the Necronomicon for any reason other than that. There are only a few ponies that know the Necronomicon isn't just the book of the dead, but rather an exorbitantly large spell book. But what really made it obvious was when word got around Canterlot that a blue stallion was having dinner with friends at a certain five-star restaurant. The stallion in question told Fancypants that he was a space warrior, and later on he told me about it at a party I attended with him, believing it to be a funny story." Celestia said, closing her eyes softly. "I thought it was a different pony, maybe a travelling jester who told tales for fun. When I asked for his name... Fancypants said it was Caboose. After some quick and easy investigating, I found out he was alive. I quickly connected the dots between the missing Necronomicon and the now alive Caboose."

"What a nice story, thanks for telling me it." Church said sarcastically. "Now why are you really here, huh? You could have just taken the Necronomicon and-"

"Church, I think it is time I sent you back." Celestia said quietly, making him blink dumbly. "Your friends as well. I will send a letter to the other Elements of Harmony as soon as I can, so they have no need to watch them any longer."

"Princess-"

"Twilight, don't argue with me on this." Celestia said sternly, giving Twilight a soft glare. "What you did was extremely reckless. You endangered the lives of countless ponies by using the Necronomicon without knowing what he would do, yourself included. You should count yourself lucky that he is not evil, or he could have quite easily done things to you all in the catacombs."

"I told you I wasn't evil!" The Necronomicon interjected.

"Please, Necky, let me speak." Celestia hushed the ancient artifact looking back to Church. "All six of you have your Cutie Marks. You all found out your special talents, and that is all I made you stay here for. Now that you found them, your time is up and I must make you leave, lest you endanger the lives of my student, her friends and everyone around them."

"Celestia, please, it was my fault, not his." Twilight said, walking between Church and Celestia. "I grabbed the Necronomicon without even telling Church. I only told him about it when I had it in my possession, and do you want to know what he said when I told him I had the means of bringing Caboose back? He told me I shouldn't have done that, that I was being reckless too. I could have turned back then and returned it, but I didn't. If anyone here deserves punishment here, it's me."

"I see." Celestia frowned at her student who hung her head low, feeling ashamed of herself for doing it. "You understand that both stealing from me as well as endangering the lives of everypony in Equestria is a serious offense."

"I know."

"And you know what the consequences for doing those is, correct?"

"Banishment?" Twilight guessed hazardly and Celestia nodded glumly, confirming Twilight's suspicions, causing a few tears to come out now. "I guessed as much. For what it's worth, Princess Celestia, I'm sor-"

"Hang the fuck on, Twilight, you did this for me and I'm not going to let you get punished for this, nor am I letting you apologize to her. It's not right. That's not to say it wasn't a stupid thing to do at the time, but you did what you thought was right. That's what life is about. Doing reckless shit to fight for what you believe in." Church growled as he brushed past her, keeping his eyes glued to Celestia. "Go on. Send me back. But I hope that you know that it won't change a single fucking thing of what happened. All I ask is that you let the others stay. They had even less to do with Twilight's decision than I did, Tex included."

"Church..." Tex said quietly, almost painfully.

"Tex, don't you fucking start." Church snapped, but forced a small smile to show that he wasn't truly angry. "It's the least I can do."

"Very well." Celestia said quietly before Twilight or Tex could argue.

Church turned around and nodded spitefully at Celestia. Celestia frowned at Twilight, showing her that she understood how painful it was, but that she had no choice as a ruler to let it slide. She lowered her head and her horn began glowing softly, when the door to the library suddenly swung open. Celestia turned her attention to the latecomer who entered the library in a collected manner, whose eyes flicking about the room like wildfire.

"If I may interject..." The small, orange colt said seriously.

"Sigma, what are you doing here?" Twilight asked, both nervously and gratefully as Sigma walked towards her.

"Thinking about others for once." Sigma smiled at her, then turned to Celestia. But the smile he gave Celestia was not the reassuring one he gave Twilight. It was almost the same smile he had when he felt in control of the conversation the night before, but this one was more intimidating. "I believe we need to have a discussion."

Chaos Spreads Like Butter

"How did this happen? It's impossi- no, questions can come later." Twilight said quickly, glancing at Tex even quicker. "Tex, you go to Fluttershy's and Pinkies's place, tell them Discord is back and bring them back here."

"Right." Tex nodded without question and galloped out the door, sensing the desperation of the situation.

"Spike, you go upstairs and tell Church to go get Applejack's while you get Rarity. I need to get to Rainbow Dash's place as fast as I can, got it?"

"Yeah." Spike nodded stiffly as he ran up the stairs. Once he was in front of the door to Church's room, he began pounding on the door. "Church! Hey, Church! Get out here!"

"This better be important." Church in a tired voice, opening the door to receive a few knocks on the leg from Spike. "What's wrong?"

"Discord's broke free from his stone prison and we need to get the Elements of Harmony together!"

"Didn't Twilight say that Discord was... oh fuck!" Church snapped, sprinting down the stairs with Spike, he burst through the front door and looked around sporadically. "Who's going where?"

"You're on AJ duty, I'm on Rarity. You gotta hurry and meet back here!"

"But Applejack is all the way across town!"

"I know, so get going!" Spike yelled, already sprinting towards his crush's home and shop.

"Fuck. How am I going to get there on time?" Church asked, beginning to run towards Sweet Apple Acres when he saw something protruding out of the bush next to the library, giving off a pink shine. Church muttered a thanks and a quick prayer as trotted up to it. "I'm going to regret doing this, aren't I?"

Over at Sweet Apple Acres, the door to the barn swung open, startling all the fragments that were inside.

"Where were y'all?" Applejack asked as she walked into the barn to question them. "One second Twi an' Church are over for a bite t' eat, then the next second y'all have gone missin' and now ya'll are back again. What gives?"

"We went to go talk to Twilight and Epsilon over personal matters."

"These personal matters wouldn't have had somethin' t' do with y'all, would it?" Applejack asked.

"Perhaps." Gary said quietly, flipping through the book of laws.

"Celestia forbid y'all were talkin' about more of ya showin' up. At this rate, fragments ought t' be fallin' from the sky at any moment to stay at Sweet Apple Apartments." Applejack muttered.

"I find that to be greatly unlikely." Delta chipped, mouth moving with his mind. "There are only a certain number of us, and seeing as how Epsilon is the one who triggers us coming back to life, I find it highly improbable that one will just-"

"Hooolyyy fuuuckiiing shiiiiiiiiit!" Church yelled as he flew through the roof of the barn, showering the fragments with splinters of wood.

"Church, are ya okay?" Applejack asked as she rushed to help him off the ground.

"My whole body hurts..."

"Of course it does! Ya just sorta fell from... the sky." Applejack stopped and held her face. "Alright, what happened t' ya?"

"Pinkie's cannon, outside of the library, predestined locations, the gate to the acres, boom and crash." Church said weakly as he got to his hooves, trembling slightly. "That explain it enough for you?"

"Well ah think think ya might have missed the gate by a tad." Applejack said as she looked up at the large, unicorn shaped hole above her.

"Do you think?" Church asked sarcastically, then he remembered what he was there for. "Discord is back from when you guys took him out."

"Excuse me?" Applejack asked slowly, taking off her hat so there was nothing covering her ear, forgetting the property damage. "Ah coulda sworn ya said Discord was back, so d'ya mind runnin' that by me again?"

"Discord. Is. Back." Church said slowly. "Come on, we need to get back to-"

"Who is Discord?" Theta asked.

"He's this god of chaos or something and he's here to fuck shit up."

"I prefer Khorne." O'Malley huffed as he kicked a plank that was near him. "So this Discord fellow is causing a ruckus and he didn't invite me? I guess I'll just have to deal with him."

"No, I don't think you can do shit to him." Church grunted. "A while ago I had this book that talked about Discord and his species, saying how powerful they are. Well, Discord is one of the strongest, and I'm pretty sure he's hellbent on ruining everybody's lives."

"A man after my own heart."

"Shut it, O'Malley." Church hissed. "This is serious... I think. The only thing that can stop him is the girls, so we need to get back as soon as possible."

"On it. Ah'll go get Sarge." Applejack nodded and ran out the door.

"Great." Church sighed.

"So what are we going to do?" O'Malley asked angrily. "Follow you like a bunch of lapdogs, waiting for you to sic us on this Discord?"

"I already said you probably couldn't do anything to him, so you're staying here."

"What? Why?"

"Because if this guy figures out what you guys represent, he could easily take you and use you against the girls." Church sighed.

"Then why do you get to go?" O'Malley growled, wanting in on the action. Action which he thought there would be plenty of.

"Because I'm protecting my friends and so are the other guys. You guys would just get in the way and would be a handicap on us if he learned how to use you guys."

"Understood. Delta, Theta and I will make sure the others do not leave this barn." Sigma nodded.

"Thanks." Church said, flashing them a quick smile before galloping out the door when he heard the door to the farmhouse open up.

"So Blue, what's this about some sorta Discus fella causing trouble?" Sarge asked as Church ran up to them.

"There's no time to explain. We just have to stop him." Church replied as he shared a quick nod with Applejack, then ran towards the library with her.

"Huh. Well, I've worked with worse plans." Sarge shrugged, running after them.

The trio ran as fast as their hooves could take them, not sparing any words for their entire trip. They reached the library some minutes later, where they could see the rest of the ponies were talking in hushed tone, arguing about something.

"There they are!" Rainbow Dash said loudly, pointing right at them as they approached the group.

"Took you guys long enough." Pinkie said as she jumped around the others. "Hey, Church, did you touch my travel cannon?"

"Yeah, I needed to get to the Apple's place fast, and that was the fastest way I could think of. The destination is kind of false advertising though."

"Didn't you read the sign?" Pinkie asked, pulling the bush that the cannon was inside to the ground, displaying a sign that read 'out of order'.

"Of course." Church grunted. "So what were you guys arguing about?"

"Twilight wants to bring the Necronomicon with us to help us stop Discord." Fluttershy said quietly, eyeing the bag that was hanging off of Twilight's back.

"We need to bring him." Twilight sighed. "If Discord did something to the Elements then we'll need a little extra help."

"I believe that's my cue." A voice boomed from above her in a condescending tone. The group looked up and saw a long, snake like creature laying on a cloud, biting into a rainbow colored corn on the cob. "Hello, girls, I bet seeing me brings back fond memories, doesn't it?"

"I would hardly say so, Discord." Twilight said icily.

"Come now, Twilight, surely you of all ponies remember the dear memory of me turning you all against each other." Discord fished.

"I wouldn't exactly call it dear." Rarity muttered.

"Yeah, the only dear memory I have is when we trapped your skinny flank in stone!" Rainbow Dash boasted.

"Oh, you girls can say the cruelest things" Discord said, wiping a fake tear out from under his eye. "From the way you talk about me, I'd almost think you didn't like me."

"Tell me about it..." The Necronomicon said from inside the bag, making the girls nearly yelp.

"Ol' Necky, is that you?" Discord asked with surprise as he snapped his fingers, making the Necronomicon reappear in front of him. "It is! My, it certainly has been awhile, hasn't it? How long has it been? One thou- no, one and a half thousand years?"

"However long it was, it clearly wasn't long enough." The Necronomicon mumbled snidely, making it clear he didn't like being around the hybrid monstrosity.

"Give him back!" Rainbow Dash growled, instantly snapping towards Discord to snag the book.

"Say please." Discord cooed when she came too an instant halt a few inches away from the book, stopped by an invisible force.

"Please give me the book back!"

"Let me think about that for a moment." Discord sighed and hummed for a few seconds, then shook his head. With another snap of his claws, the Necronomicon vanished. "No, I think I'll keep him in a safe place for now. Don't want you guys to have an unfair advantage, do we?"

"What are you doing here, Discord?" Twilight asked, stepping towards him.

"One of life's greatest mysteries, isn't it?" Discord said with a vicious smirk, fang hanging low, making the guys feet a strange sensation go through their spines.

"You know what I mean. How did you get out?"

"Where's the fun in telling you everything now?" Discord asked curiously, making swimming motions through the air. "I mean, you should compliment me before demanding anything from me. Or at the very least introduce me to your friends."

"I like your beard!" Caboose said, gawking at the hairs that came out from under the lord of Chaos's chin.

Discord eyeballed the dark blue earth pony with a curious brow. He floated closer towards the ground and circled Caboose once, as if he expected something to happen with Caboose. Spike and the girls watched fearfully, knowing that at this moment Discord held the edge over them and that attacking him would be futile. Tex simply watched silently, sensing that he could overpower her.

"Can I pet it?" Caboose asked.

"Ha! I like this one!" Discord laughed loudly, then extended his neck until it was less than a feet away from Caboose, then tilted his head up. "What is your name?"

"Caboose!" Caboose whooped with a large grin as he began petting the strange creature's beard. "Oh my gosh, it feels like I'm petting twenty puppies at once!"

"I do try to take care of it." Discord said impishly. His eyes lazily drifted back to the group to find them glaring at him. Clearing his throat he pulled his chin away from Caboose and touched it back in place. "Anyways, it was nice seeing you all again. You simply must give me a visit at Canterlot at some point before I shroud the world with chaos. While it will make it more fun, it will be significantly harder to get around when the trails are made of cookie dough and the grass is made out of sticky tape. After all, I do like my guests to have clean hooves upon entry of my castle."

"What is your ploy?" Twilight asked. "Did you hide the Elements somewhere again? Or rather, keep them in the same spot?"

"Doing the same thing twice isn't my style, and there is no real ploy here." Discord said as he clasped both of his claws together and began rubbing. After a few seconds of that, he stopped and held out a picture to Twilight. "As you can see the Elements of Harmony exactly where Celestia left them. I'm simply not afraid of you now that I have a little back up."

"By the looks of things, I don't think that the Necronomicon wants to help you." Twilight said with a smirk.

Discord burst out with laughter and began punching his knee as he threw his head back. The girls stared at him nervously, wondering what he was going for. They knew he wasn't ready to simply hand them victory, so why was he just telling them where the Elements were. After a few seconds, Caboose hopped towards Discord, slowly grabbed the picture with his teeth as if he was stealing cookies from a cookie jar, then hopped back to the group, smiling at himself.

"I got the Elements of Harmony!" Caboose said as he gently laid the picture in front of the girls. "I saved the day!"

"Heh, I'm afraid it isn't quite that easy, little Caboose." Discord said and the picture of the Elements vanished into thin air.

"It doesn't matter how hard you're making it-" Twilight started.

"Bow-chika-bow-wow." Tucker said under his breath, earning him a glare from everyone surrounding him.

"-Because we are going to beat you again." Twilight finished, glaring daggers at Discord, who smiled at their display.

"Oh, I'm positively shaking in my boots." Discord said as he pretended to weep, then he snapped his claw, creating a pair of boots on his back paws which promptly shook off. They then began dancing on the ground in front of Caboose, causing him to gurgle happily at the display. "Well, I guess I'll just have to spread as much chaos as I can in the time that I have left. I'll be in Canterlot if you need me."

Thrill Ride

The pink sun bore down on the group, sending small chills down their spines as they walked towards the train station to get to Canterlot as fast as they could. To get there, though, they had to walk through Ponyville, which was currently being tormented by Discord all the way from Canterlot. Houses had fire made out cotton candy coming out of the windows. Mares and Stallions alike ran around like ants, trying to fix whatever damage they could.

"This guy seems to know how to make a good party." Grif muttered as he filled his hoof with the cotton candy fire to toss into his mouth.

"Are you sure that's safe to eat?" Simmons asked quietly, noticing a few flecks of red in the candy floss.

"Don't be a spoilsport." Grif laughed as he threw a piece into his mouth. As soon as he did, his eyes went wide and his face turned a bright red, while he began sweating feverishly.

"Grif, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked as she walked up to examine her pegasus charge.

"Water." Grif said quietly through puckered lips. "Where water? Need it. Now!"

"Over the-" Fluttershy began pointing towards the town fountain, and in an instant Grif disappeared.

Grif whimpered as he ran up to the town's fountain, then began scouring it to make sure it was safe to drink. Satisfied that it looked like water, he fully submerged his head under it and began chugging to get rid of the awful taste.

"Grif, quit wasting time!" Sarge growled, bucking Grif in the ribs, sending him spiraling away from the fountain.

"What kind of cockbite ruins perfectly good and delicious cotton candy by putting pieces of hot pepper inside of it?" Grif panted as he got off the ground.

"The kind that finds irony delicious." Twilight sighed as she continued walking towards the train station.

"I find it ironic that-" Caboose started.

"Don't." Church grunted, stuffing his hoof in Caboose's mouth.

"So what kind of backup do you think he has?" Rainbow Dash asked as she hovered above the others.

"I'm not sure. The Necronomicon and him seem to have no love lost."

"Well, even if they don't like each other, I don't think that book can stop Discord from using him."

"I think she's onto something." Sarge said quietly. "I recommend we get there as soon as possible to find the book of Grif's death and use it on Grif!"

"How will that help?" Grif asked angrily.

"You're asking the wrong questions here, Grif. How won't it help?"

"Sarge, please stop trying to make plans." Church grunted as he looked ahead. "But what would he use him on? It's not like he has any use for him seeing as dead bodies are just lying around in Canterlot, right?"

"I have a bad feeling about this." Twilight said softly as they neared the station.

"Why?" Church asked, thinking she was talking about the train station. "It doesn't look like Discord messed with it."

"That's not... I mean, just because it doesn't look like he messed with it doesn't mean he didn't."

"I guess, but at this point-"

Church was then interrupted when lightning shot down from the clouds and struck just a few feet in front of them. With a few yelps of surprise and shrieks of fear, they jumped backwards to avoid being hurt and averted their eyes in case anything got sent flying. Caboose, however, was the only one that didn't close his eyes, but rather trotted up to where the lightning hit and grabbed something in his mouth and trotted back to the group and stopped in front of Twilight, then tapped on her neck.

"Huh?" Twilight asked as she looked at what Caboose was holding in his muzzle, then took it away from him.

"What is it?" Caboose asked as the others turned their attention to Twilight.

"It's a note." Twilight said warily. "Hello again, Discord here. I just wanted to know what was taking you all so long? While it has only been a few years trapped in stone, it feels much like the thousand years. As such, I a very lonely up here, so I've provided you with free tickets to get up here faster, as I know you're already going to use it anyways. Oh so predictable. Now, don't keep me waiting, you wouldn't like to see what I do when I grow impatient."

"Doesn't something about this seem a tad... off?" Rarity inquired curiously.

"What if that's the point?" Caboose asked seriously. "It sounds to me like he is just trying to make us feel nervous and question his motives, when in reality he really is just trying to get us there faster. After all, he is supposed to cause chaos, and what causes more chaos than not causing it when you're expected to?"

"Caboose... has a point?" Church raised his brow as he gave Caboose a once over. "I don't see Gummy on him anywhere..."

"I would also like it to be known that I cannot feel my hands."

"There we go."

"I don't think we should be questioning whether or not we can trust that thing, what I think we should be questioning is if the train is safe." Simmons said nervously.

"I doubt it, but I don't think we have much choice." Twilight sighed as she grabbed the tickets off the ground. "It would take over a day to walk there, so who knows what he'll have done by then."

"I think we should risk it too." Grif said quickly, grabbing the ticket from Twilight. "Shotgun!"

"Dammit." Simmons grumbled as he took a ticket for himself and walked onto the platform with Grif.

The rest of the gang grabbed their tickets from Twilight and slowly made their way to the train, looking for any signs of danger. They then walked into the train, minds furiously turning to figure out what was happening, knowing Discord has to have had upped the stakes to act so carelessly.

"Oh, it's you guys again." The ticket collector sighed, then his eyes widened when he looked past the mares and stallions. "What the hay is happening out there?"

"It's a guy named Discord, and I'm willing to assume you know what that name means." Tex grunted as she walked up to him.

"He's back?" The ticket collector asked fearfully.

"Yeah, so get your ass up to the front cart and get the conductor to start this train since the girls here are the only ones that can stop him!"

"Right away, miss!" The collector said with a quick salute and trotted ahead.

"Alright, so what's the plan?" Tex asked once the others had taken their seats.

"I guess when we get there we just run to see if the Elements of Harmony are where he says they are, then go to the palace." Church shrugged.

"That's the plan?"

"I'm open to suggestions, but I'm pretty damn sure there isn't any other option." Church sighed as the train began to move and the ticket collector walked back into the cart and took a seat at the back of it. "But hey, we have an hour to think."

"Uh, guys, I don't want to be that guy, meaning Church, but I think we're moving." Tucker said worriedly, eyes glued to the window.

"We're in a train, Tucker, of course it's moving." Church groaned.

"Yeah, the thing is I don't think it's supposed to be moving up."

The others looked at each other then looked out the windows and saw that the ground was no longer visible and the clouds above them started getting closer. They looked down to see what was happening and saw that the train track they were on was no a strange, metallic mechanism made out of rails. The ticket collector was now running around the cart, trying to find a way out while the others simply sank back into their seats, wide-eyed.

"Y'know, I don't think we ever got your name." Tex said to the stallion who was currently breaking down.

"It's Stubbs." The collector said quietly as he banged on the door, not quite sure why he was doing it.

"Well, Stubbs, I hope you lived a long life, because it may end pretty damn soon." Tex laughed, turning away from him to look forward. "Unless you like that sort of thing."

"I don't think I'd like that!" Stubbs yelped, now slamming on the door at a much quicker pace. "I don't think I'd like that at all!"

"Huh. Then it's going to suck being you soon."

Something slammed into the back end of the cart, sending the train cart off the track and into the air, causing most of the inhabitants of the train cart to slam into the back of it and into each other, while Pinkie and Caboose held onto their seats, yelling with excitement at what they thought was a fantastic ride. The train then began to spiral through the air, making some of the cushions dislodge from their position, while everyone tried to hold onto something.

"Oh my god!" Caboose yelled, causing the others to look at him. What they saw, however, was Caboose picking marshmallows out of some cereal that was pouring out from under his seat. "Lucky Charms! They listened to my request letters!"

"Hey, Grif, you okay?" Sarge asked with a bemused chuckle as he grabbed onto the edge of one of the seats.

"I think I got food poisoning from that hot cotton candy." Grif said weakly, face turning green. "I think I need something else to eat to wash it out of my mouth."

"Speaking of candy." Tucker coughed, looking at Rainbow Dash seriously. "Y'know, we could die soon, and I don't want you to die without living the Tucker Experience, patent pending."

"We're about to die and you're thinking about... other stuff?" Stubbs yelled furiously as Caboose stuffed himself, Tucker flirted with Rainbow Dash and Sarge and Grif argued. "All of you are crazy!"

"Welcome to my world." Church sighed.

Elementary, My Dear

The screaming train and it's mimicking riders landed perfectly on the tracks at the Canterlot train station, letting it to come to a slow stop at it's designated location. A small bell chimed from inside the cart and the doors poured open, allowing the group to pile out and hug the ground for safety.

"Thank you for riding Chaos Airlines." Discord said in a forced, female voice. "We hope you vote for us to win this years 'most traumatizing experience' award at the new daily Chaos Competitions!"

"That was fun!" Pinkie giggled as she hopped out of the cart with Caboose, passing by the shaking mares and stallions.

"I know!" Caboose laughed, looking upon those that were now getting off the ground. "Do you guys want to go again?"

"No!" The others yelled in unison.

"You're right, the lineup is probably really long anyways." Caboose nodded despondently.

"Yes, Caboose, that is the only reason we're not doing that again." Church said acrimoniously.

"Come on, you guys. We need to get going." Twilight said as she ran into Canterlot with the other Elements. "Rainbow Dash, you scour the skies and see if there is anything that would intercept us, we'll adjust our path accordingly to avoid being slowed any further. Take Tucker too, he has pretty good eyesight."

"On it!" Rainbow Dash said with a salute, then grabbed Tucker by the scruff of his neck and zipped upwards.

"The rest of you, if we run past any citizens who are under duress, help them by doing a bit of damage control."

"But what if I damage my-"

"Rarity, nobody gives a damn about your hooficure, just do it." Grif muttered sickly, flapping his wings lightly to hover above the ground.

"He moves fast when he's under discomfort." Rarity pouted as she followed the others towards their goal.

"Heh, that he does." Sarge chuckled.

While the others ran ahead, Caboose stopped after a few seconds and turned back to look at the ticket collector.

"What are you staring at?" Stubbs asked curiously.

"Can you save me a seat for when we come back? I want to be in the front row!" Caboose told Stubbs, who then glared at Caboose as harshly as he could and slammed the train door shut. "Thank you!"

After Caboose caught up with the group, Rainbow Dash flew down with Tucker and nodded their heads at her, telling her that the way was clear. Rainbow Dash smirked and returned to the skies, followed by a slightly reluctant Tucker. Both surprisingly and expectantly, the way to the Elements was completely clear, and all the ponies they ran by seemed to only have problems they could sort by themselves. Once they reached the building that held the amulets and tiara, they burst through the door and looked around, still expecting the jewelry to be elsewhere.

"They're still here." Fluttershy said quietly as she walked up to her necklace.

"Maybe they're fake." Rainbow Dash suggested, grabbing hers to examine it. "Looks fake to me..."

"I apologize for being brash, but that is because you don't know what you're doing." Rarity sighed, grabbing Rainbow Dash's necklace. She pressed her eyes up against it and held it up to use the light coming in through the window to help her. "These appear to be the real deal, unless Discord found or made some that look remarkably like them."

"Guys, while we get these distributed, you look around to see if there are any others in here." Twilight said as she grabbed her tiara. "He said they were where we left them, but he could have just been referring to the building."

"Right." The guys nodded in unison and went to the separate corners of the room, checking underneath anything and everything they could lift off the ground.

"You guys find anything?" Simmons asked.

"Nope." Tucker replied.

"Zilcho in the best corner." Sarge said.

"Nothing here." Church sighed.

"Ain't found shit." Grif mumbled as he kicked over a potted plant.

"I found a rock!" Caboose exclaimed happily. "It has a happy face painted on it!"

"Same here. I mean, I didn't find anything either. I didn't get a pet rock." Simmons said quietly. "It's not like I wanted one..."

"This place have a basement?" Church asked as he looked up to the ceiling, making sure they weren't hanging from anything above them.

"I don't think so." Twilight said as she nodded at the others.

"Guess those are the real deal then." Church said slowly, squinting at them. "I wonder what he would do if we just didn't show up?"

"Probably just keep doin' what he's doin' until we did." Applejack grunted as she walked towards the door. "Ah'd much prefer it if he hid 'em. Feels like we're just walkin' right on into a trap..."

"It's supposed to. This guy seems to want to break us down, make us be suspicious of everyone and everything. Including each other." Tex sighed, pushing ahead of them. "We just have to trigger his trap and trust each other to get out of it."

"I don't feel comfortable talking about another dude's trap." Tucker said quietly, coyly slinking towards Rainbow Dash. "You, on the other hand-"

"Hoof." Rainbow Dash smirked.

"Whatever."

"We should call it an ambush." Caboose said quietly.

"Guys!" Church yelled in frustration. "Can we please just focus? We know it's a trick, trap, ambush, or whatever the hell else you want to call it. So let's just keep our heads down, stay quiet and be ready for anything, okay?"

"Sounds like a plan, Blue." Sarge muttered reluctantly. "I still think my plan is better."

"If worse comes to worse we'll use Grif as a distraction, okay?"

"Okay." Sarge nodded.

"Oh, fuck you guys." Grif mumbled, still a little on the green side from the not-so-treat he had earlier. "I'll probably die from food poisoning soon anyways."

"Quit whining, you'll just sleep it off tonight anyways."

"Yeah, but I wish I could just sleep it off now..."

The mares and stallions stopped talking as they made their way to the throne room, checking around every corner in case something would happen, knowing in their hearts that nothing would. When they entered the castle, they were greeted by a guard trapped in chocolate, hole in front of his mouth to allow him the grace of air needed to survive. Caboose stopped by the guard and opened his mouth over his flank.

"Bad, Caboose! No!" Church yelped fearfully, pushing Caboose away from the candy coated consort. "What have I told you time and time again?"

"People aren't food." Caboose said sadly.

"Exactly." Church smiled, breaking a piece of chocolate off of the guards ear to toss to Caboose. "You okay in there?"

"I-I think so." The guard said, trying to nod through his prison. "I-it all happened so fast! One moment the Princess went to attend matters in Ponyville, the next thing I know-"

"You got trapped in chocolate." Twilight said quietly, breaking the chocolate off of his eyes.

"Mine!" Pinkie yelled, jumping at Twilight, snatching the chocolate with her mouth.

"Did you see anything before it happened?" Twilight asked, walking in front of him.

"Twilight, thank goodness it's you!" The guard said happily, instantly recognizing the Element of Harmony and student of the Princess. "I saw him when he walked in through the front door, but I've just been standing here for an hour, unable to move."

"Was anypony with him?" Twilight pressed lightly, wanting more information on Discord's backup.

"No, it was just him. But he did say to let anybody in." The guard sighed. "Not like I could do anything about it, though..."

"Thanks anyways." Twilight said, turning to the throne room. "Come on, it shouldn't take any longer than a minute to get there!"

Sarge began running with the others to face Discord, but stopped by the guard and kicked him in the side, shattering the chocolate mold around him.

"Thank you." The guard said thankfully. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"What, and abandon your post?" Sarge asked sternly. "Maybe I should tell your superiors about your lack of discipline..."

"No, sir! I'll stay at my post, sir! S-sorry sir!"

"Damn right you're sorry." Sarge grunted as he went to catch up with the others.

The Elements and the ones they were charged with watching burst through the door to the throne room, instantly looking around the room for anything off. The only thing that was off was a bar that was now located in front of one of the windows, along with Discord standing behind it, wearing dark sunglasses and a floral shirt while he mixed some drinks.

"Discord! Where are the Princesses?" Twilight growled, lowering her front half to point her horn at the creature sitting behind the light blue counter.

"Nuh-uh-uh. That would be telling." Discord tutted playfully as he poured the liquid in the container into some glasses. "Now come, why don't you have a seat and grab a drink? I offered the Princesses, but they shot me down. As to be expected from most mares, I suppose."

"Maybe this guy isn't so bad." Tucker smirked, instantly starting towards the bar, only to be stopped by Rainbow Dash biting onto his tail. "Why aren't you fun anymore?"

"Because this is serious." Rainbow Dash muttered, releasing his tail when he stopped trying to go to Discord.

"Pft, see what I mean? All mares do is ruin good old fashioned fun." Discord scowled, then poured one of the glasses into his mouth and lightly licked his lips. "Ah, heavenly. Are you sure I can't convince you all to just take a seat? I'm sure your morale will go down significantly pretty soon, so you might need a little boost."

"We're not interested. Girls!" Twilight called out.

The six Elements of Harmony formed a small circle in front of Discord and closed their eyes. They then began floating in the air, pieces of dust lifting up with them and slowly beginning to circle them, creating a small tornado of dust. The amulets that the girls wore each shot a beam of light into Twilight’s tiara. The tiara then began glowing a soft purple, but grew brighter and brighter with every second. A six stranded helix shot out of the Elements of Harmony, each one a different color. The rainbow helix then surged towards Discord, who was now covering his face. The helix then wrapped around the yelling Discord. As the light tightened around Discord and his screams died out, the girls relaxed slightly, but kept their gaze on it. The light suddenly stopped moving, then a small noise came from the inside, much like the sound of something hitting thin glass.

"I guess I should thank you for such a delightful light show, hm?" Discord asked with a small laugh as the light around him cracked and broke apart like a priceless vase, revealing his trademark fang which lead to his evil smirk.

"How?" Twilight asked quietly, voice filled with worry.

"I guess it's time to introduce my nefarious backup, hm?" Discord asked playfully as he snapped his claws, extinguishing all light in the room. "Let's see here... normally there would be seven, but I don't want this to be completely unfair, do I?"

"Oh no, I am blind!" Caboose yelled.

"Caboose." Church warned him quietly, then tried to adjust to the darkness, but it was so absolute that he couldn't make anything out. "Watch out guys, he might try to take us out one by one while we can't see."

"Please, violence is the most basic form of chaos, and I am far from basic. I prefer breaking ponies down." Discord said in an offended tone as a spotlight shot onto Tucker. "So let's get started, shall we? The first in our line up is this strangely colored, bluish-green pegasus. It has been said that statistically, stallions think about... naughty things... every seven seconds. While that might not be one hundred percent true, the fact that Tucker stops thinking about said naughty things for one second every six hours is! The lust in his loins outweighs my love for chaos twenty fold. And let me tell you, I love me my chaos."

"What?" Tucker asked, looking around him. "Where'd everybody go?"

"Please keep all questions until the end of the presentation, thank you." Discord mumbled and the light disappeared off of Tucker and reappeared on the war-loving stallion. "Next up there is the leader of the Red team. This one wants nothing but to be respected by others, and is willing to kill his own soldiers until they do! Let’s hear a round of applause for the pride loving Sarge! No?" Discord chuckled and a light appeared on the maroon tinged tailor. "Then how about Simmons? This stallion is always willing to work hard and often gets snappy when others get recognition. But how does he feel now that he is being treated as an equal? He is now envious of ponies who have things to work towards! But hold onto your hats, mares and gentelcolts, for the next stallion who represents sloth, ironically enough, also gets to be an absolute glutton." Discord said loudly, a soft, orange light surrounded the golden Pegasus. "Give it up for the double whammy, Grif!"

"What in Equestria is he going on about?" Rarity asked.

"Ah, thank you for reminding me, dear Rarity. We can’t we don’t want to discriminate against the girls, do we?" Discord asked himself and a light went over the skull flanked mare. "Well how about we throw in Agent Texas? This mare is willing to do almost everything for a buck as her greed leads her actions! And for out final act comes my personal favorite. This stallion is filled with so much hate, so much anger, so much mistrust that it makes me want to weep for him. He hates himself so much, in fact, that he cannot even trust the other parts that make up the real him. The ever wrathful Church!"

The lights above the Church disappeared and darkness enveloped the room once again. Then the lights began turning on one by one, all in a row, presenting the six that were called out once again.

"Tucker, the lusting libido. Sarge, the pride of the pack. Simmons, the envious individual. Grif, the slothful and gluttonous beast. Tex, the greedy mercenary. Church, the wrathful wraith. Together they make an unstoppable team, a team which is explosive towards each other, but cannot drag themselves away from each other. They are the only one who can counter the Elements of Harmony..." Discord howled with delight, clapping his claws together while everypony in the room's jaws dropped when the realization clicked. "Give it up for the Elements of Chaos!"

Ready, Set, Chaos

"Hmm... by the looks of your faces, I'm willing to bet that Celestia didn't tell you about them?" Discord asked with insincere shock as he watched everyone collect their jaws. "It really does seem like something you would tell the Elements of Harmony of all ponies..."

"Woah, woah, woah, wait up." Rainbow Dash said, shaking her head clear of any other thoughts. "Celestia knew about this?"

"But of course! Why else do you think she had that last ditch effort of trying to get rid of Church? She wanted to split the Elements up, and she felt-"

"Church may be brash, as I am certain I, as well as many others, have said in the past, but why would she want to get rid of him?" Rarity interrupted.

"Oh, right, I should have assumed Church would have been quiet about it on the way here..." Discord said as he scratched his chin. "Ah, he'll tell you when the time feels right.

"Why didn't she send them back?" Fluttershy asked in her usual timid manner while the other Elements, bar herself and Pinkie, eyed Church nervously, even though the others were to be considered a threat now as well.

"Harsh." Grif said quietly.

"I didn't... um... sorry." Fluttershy said quietly.

"You know what they say, don't you? Keep your friends close and all that jazz." Discord chuckled. "Why else do you think she keeps both myself, the Necronomicon and many of her other enemies and magical artifacts near her? Certainly not for show, that's for sure, otherwise I'd be the centerpiece of this room. I mean, just look at the color schemes. Ick."

"I know, they should really add a bit of blue to make the place better."

"Caboose, Discord, stop encouraging each other."

"You can't tell me what to do." Discord mumbled as a child would when ordered to do something by their parents. With the snap of his fingers, Church got lifted in the air and flipped upside down. "I, however, can tell you what to do if I so desire."

"Put me down!" Church yelled as he shook his hooves wildly in an attempt to stabalie and land on his feet.

"Make me."

"Discord, put Church down and tell us where the Princesses are!" Twilight commanded.

"I don't know, what will you do for-"

"Hey, what about me?" Caboose asked as Discord threw Church about the room, being both gentle as well as vigorous. "I want to be the Element of Blue! Or maybe the Element of Cookies!"

"Why, you get to be the most important role of all." Discord smiled as a large, colorful hat appeared over Caboose as Discord dropped Church back into his spot. "You get to be the mascot!"

"Oh. My. God!" Caboose wailed with pure, concentrated ecstasy as he grabbed the hat and slammed it on his head. "It's just what I've always wanted!"

"Ah, what a lovable little scamp." Discord said as Caboose hopped around the room. "Anyways, where was I? Oh well, must not have been that important if I forgot already..."

"Celestia and Luna." Twilight hissed, taking a step towards him, not caring that she couldn't harm him with the Elements.

"Right, the Princesses." Discord said with a sigh, snapping his fingers to make two angry looking alicorn statues to appear next to the steps to the throne. "As you can see they yelled at me, so naturally I offered them a drink, but that only got them angrier, so I did what came to me as the second most natural thing; I turned them into stone."

"And people say I overreact." Church grumbled.

"You do overreact." Tucker smirked.

"Shut it." Church snapped, scanning Discord's face. "Now, while I do appreciate Celestia's new look, I think I'd like it if you let her go."

"Nuh-uh. No can do. Sorry, Churchy." Discord said as he shook his head as fast as he could.

"Why not?"

"Because while the Elements of Harmony are being corrupted, the Elements of Chaos are being harmonized, so right now you have to play along with my rules. Though you already knew that coming in here."

"Yeah, yeah. What are your games?"

"Is it Jenga?" Caboose guessed wildly. "Ooh, ooh, how about Battleship."

"Neither of those, I'm afraid. Well, not really. I will place you all in a series of scenarios, in which there would be three outcomes." Discord said, holding up his right arm and extending his claws as he counted them out. "The first one is you succumb to the chaos inside you. In that case, we all win. You get to live, I get to live, and you will be my disciples. The second option is you find out what the girls represent. And I mean exactly. You can't be close to right."

"But we know this stuff. Twilight is the Element of Magic." Church said, turning to Sarge.

"Applejack is the Element of... of, er... hard work?" Sarge asked himself and a large buzzing sound went off.

"Ah'm th' Element of-" Applejack began, but her mouth was forced shut.

"Now, now. Don't ruin the fun. If you try and tell them your Element, you will be silenced. Church got his right, but Sarge was wrong." Discord chuckled, now wearing large, comedic looking glasses. "Next?"

"Fuck, I'm sure Dash told me at one point or another." Tucker muttered.

"Maybe if you spent lest time chasing her tail..." Simmons grumbled.

"Don't be jealous that I'm closer than you're getting."

"No you're not." Rainbow Dash smiled innocently at him.

"Besides, Simmons is not interested in that. He is much more refined than you, and while he is an Element of so called Chaos, he is one of the most gentlecoltly stallions I have ever had the pleasure of meeting."

"Hey!" Rainbow Dash said before Tucker could, pointing one of her wings at Simmons. "Tucker may not be refined, but at least he isn't a cardboard cutout personality like that!"

"I'm... standing right here." Simmons said quietly, sharing a nervous glance with Tucker.

"No kidding. They must be on their-"

"Tucker, be quiet!" Rarity and Rainbow Dash said together.

"Girls!" Twilight screeched, nearly shattering the eardrums of the two arguing mares. "This is Discord's doing."

"I'm not doing anything. You can't just pin every little thing on me." Discord said, waving his claws in front of his face, then stopped and scratched his chin. "Just most of the little things."

"Fine, so either become peaceful, which is never going to happen, or submit to chaos, which might actually-"

"Will definitely." Grif added.

"-Happen." Church finished. "So what's the third option?"

"The third option? Oh, right. That. I don't think I should bother mentioning it since I doubt you'll ever do it..."

"Just say it."

"The third option is you figure out your little Tex problem." Discord smiled.

"Figure it out? I've been trying to do that for years and have made no progress." Church growled, beginning to wish that Celestia wasn't trapped in stone.

"Ah, but you've never been given a hint." Discord stated, vanishing from behind the bar just to reappear behind Church's back, claw on his side as if they were old friends.

"A hint?"

"Yes, a hint." Discord nodded firmly, now resting on a hammock that was being held up on either end by the Royal Sisters.

"And what would that be?"

"Be yourself." Discord sighed. "I mean, you've know the answer all along, so it can't be that hard."

"You want the Alpha?" Church asked, eyes narrowing on Discord as he remembered Sigma. "You really do want chaos."

"You would be surprised with what I want." Discord said kindly, eyes lingering on Church. "Anyways, now that you know the challenge and your options, the games have begun."

"I love games!" Caboose yelled, hat now covering his eyes.

"Ha ha, I know you do, my dear boy. Church, you will stay here and watch the others' progress." Discord giggled. As Discord snapped his fingers, the Elements of Chaos were thrown into other areas of Canterlot. "Good luck."

It Ends as Soon as it Begins

The room collapsed into darkness once again, and the sound of hooves hitting the floor came from every direction. After a brief moment of that, the light returned and the Elements of Chaos, minus Church, were nowhere to be seen. What replaced said Elements, however, was a giant ball floating at the foot of the stairs to the throne, resting between Celestia and Luna. It instantly reminding Twilight of the memories inside Church's head, but more condensed.

"What is that?" Fluttershy asked, surprisingly being the first to drift towards it.

"That, my dear, is how we will watch their progress." Discord chuckled, drifting towards it while resting on a floating hammock. "At any given moment I can call up an image of whoever I want and we can see what they are up to."

Fluttershy tilted her head at him, so with a reluctant sigh and a snap of his fingers an image of Grif popped up on the screen. She walked closer to inspect his surrounding. He was sitting in a white room that had nothing but a table, a chair, and a door on each of the four walls, rubbing his head as if he had just regained consciousness.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Discord asked as he floated behind Fluttershy to look at what she was observing. "That is a maze located on the other side of Equestria. There is quite literally no way out and it has been abandoned for centuries, so I felt it was apt to use it with the other set of Elements, no?"

"I love mazes too." Caboose said, jumping towards Discord to beg. "I want to be in the maze!"

"After this is said and done, I will give the maze to you."

"Really?"

"Caboose, get over here!" Pinkie said, slightly annoyed that Caboose was warming up so well with one of the few things she recognized as someone she didn't like.

"But think of all the fun parties we can have in there!" Caboose reasoned. "Like for holidays! And maze tag!"

"Maze tag isn't as fun as it sounds." Pinkie said, taking a step towards him. "Come on, stop being silly and stand with me."

"Or stand with me." Discord smiled toothily at him. "Think about it. Twenty four seven food-nap time. All the maze you could hope to explore."

Caboose looked at Discord, then to Pinkie and frowned slightly. He then shook his head, smiled and hopped straight towards Pinkie.

"Aw, suit yourself." Discord mumbled, then smiled again when he saw Twilight and the others walking towards the statues of the sisters.

"So wait, when Celestia told me to leave she wanted to prevent this..." Church said quietly as he watched Twilight walk around the frozen sun.

"Indeed. You see, Celestia thought she destroyed the Elements of Chaos long ago when she began spreading peace throughout the land. While that made it more difficult for the Elements of Chaos to pop up naturally in ponies, she did not expect a group of ragtag simulation troopers that were constantly at war with each other to drop in to her realm. Then she started reading signs in the sky, prophecies and such."

"Prophecies? okay, maybe she really is a fucking crazy loon."

"How dare you associate her with such a luxurious title." Discord hissed, generally offended by the comment. "Besides, what makes prophecies more different than magic in terms of overall believability for you?"

"Well, for starters; prophecies sort of talk about the future. While magic just generally, y'know..."

"Bends the laws of the universe?" Discord chuckled happily at Church's face. "Yeah, you didn't think that sentence through."

"I really hate this place..."

"You hate every place, Church. That is why you are Wrath." Discord said as he poked Church's nose.

"What happened to not turning ponies into stone?" Twilight asked breathlessly as she looked at her teacher.

"Oh, that." Discord rolled his eyes as he floated up to Luna and patter her on the head. "You see, I sort of changed my style a bit. Now that the Elements of Chaos are in the way, I am free to be more reckless. Unlike a Basilisk, you're the only six I can't turn to stone. That, however, will change once they fail their Harmony tests. When that happens, I won't live like Celestia did. I will keep my enemies somewhere not in the open. Hide the Elements of Harmony away where nopony but myself can find them."

"Won't the Elements just find somebody else to go in?" Rainbow Dash asked, walking away from the rulers to interrogate Discord as best she could.

"Hah! Oh how I find your optimism simply so endearing!" Discord howled, making Rainbow Dash tremble with frustration. "You see, they would if you passed away, but since you're trapped in stone you are technically alive and the Elements, since trapped by the Elements of Chaos, will not be able to break free as the Elements of Chaos would have already proven to have stronger magic."

"Wait, what do you mean the Elements of Chaos will trap us?" Rarity asked with concern. "Even if they do somehow fail, as low of a chance as that may be, they'res till our friends and would never dream of doing anything of the like."

"Oh, didn't I mention the fact that once they succumb to the chaos their minds will change, allowing me to control them?" Discord asked sincerely, stroking his beard as gently as he could. "I was pretty sure I did."

"Wait." Church said quietly. "So it's either we change into something evil-"

"Chaos is not evil." Discord corrected him softly. "Merely a different way of doing things."

"Right, we're just trapping our friends in stone for eternity. Oh, yeah, no, that's not evil in the slightest."

"It isn't." Discord nodded in agreement.

"So it's either that, or those guys find out how to be nicer to each other?"

"Or, you know, you be yourself." Discord coughed innocently.

"He won't have to." Rainbow Dash snapped. "I believe in the guys."

"You shouldn't."

"They know what's going down-"

"No they don't."

"-And they can become serious when it's-"

"No they can't."

"Will you shut-"

"No." Discord chuckled as Rainbow Dash nearly let steam out of her nostril. "Don't believe me? Check for yourself."

"I don't need to check to prove you wrong."

"Hmph. Should be the Element of Rude. Then again, that really does fall more into Church's category." Discord said, then began beaming while waving his claw at the sphere of running images. "Speaking of,Church, will you do the honors then?"

Church glared at Discord and slowly walked up to the small sphere of light. He had to squint to make out the Tucker walking through a maze, heading straight to a room filled with mares.

"Are they... doing what I think they're doing?" Church asked quietly, backing away to respect the mares privacy.

"Indeed." Discord smiled darkly.

"And Dash is?"

"Loyalty." Discord said, not even attempting to hide a squeal of delight.

"Fuck." Church said, eyes going to the floor.

"Wait, where is Tucker heading?" Rainbow Dash asked, then saw Church blush slightly and cough the question away. With a huff, Rainbow Dash trotted up to the sphere to look at Tucker, but her eyes froze on the group of twenty mares who appeared to be in the middle of business usually kept in the bedroom. Something Tucker has been hinting at ever since he got there. Something Rainbow Dash has been denying the sexually restricted stallion ever since then. "We're doomed..."

Eagle Eye

"Dude, is anyone here?" Tucker yelled as he walked through the blank white corridor. "Jesus, this place could use a few pinups to make it not so boring..."

Then the sound of moaning came from underneath the door ahead of him. Tucker opened his mouth to call for help, then shut it when curiosity overwhelmed him. It wasn't a pained moan, but a one of pleasure. He slowly trotted towards the door to not alert whoever was inside.

"Tucker, don't you open that door." Rainbow Dash growled from the throne room, but knew Tucker couldn't hear her.

As Tucker reached for the door, the sound of moans came through, louder this time. Tucker tilted his head and pushed the door open a crack, instantly raising his brow when he saw a group of lookalike mares engaging in coitus.

"Woah." Tucker said under his breath. Instantly, the mares closest to the door snapped their heads towards Tucker. "Oh shit."

The mares nearest to the door started crawling towards him, panting lightly. Tucker then slowly drifted into the room, eyes locked with the mare closer towards him. Back in the throne room, Rainbow Dash sank to the floor and sighed deeply, knowing her and her friends would be turned to stone, in a way, because of her. While a few of the mares began walking towards him, Tucker gave a look of curiosity rather than one of lust.

"What are you waiting for?" One of the mares asked, waving her flank at him.

"Rainbow Dash?" Tucker asked her quietly. "What are you doing?"

"Wait, what did he say?" Rainbow Dash said quietly, eyes looking straight at Tucker, then darting to Discord, eyes narrowing. "Did he say my name?"

"Oh, I may have forgotten this little tidbit of information." Discord coughed onto the back of his hand. "The maze is relatively magical. And by relatively, I mean it is one of the most powerful artifacts on this world. What we're seeing a bunch of mares, he sees what he really wants to see, meaning he is currently seeing a bunch of, well, you, so-"

"He's going to do it and in his mind he'll think he's doing nothing wrong." Rainbow Dash groaned, rubbing her head slowly. "Ugh, is it fair to be mad at him when he thinks he's doing it with me?"

"I, uh..." Church coughed, not knowing what to say. "Well, I think that if he knows that you never want to have sex with him and he does it with them then you can be mad."

"That's the things... I sort of did want to." Rainbow Dash sighed. "I just don't know, he always talked about how great he is, but he never really talked about staying with the girl the day after. I guess I thought that if I did do anything with him, he'd be done with me, y'know?"

"So wait, you actually do like him?"

"Yeah, as much of a hound dog as he is, he's actually pretty funny once you get used to his problems." Rainbow Dash muttered.

"His many problems." Church corrected her.

"His many, many problems." Rainbow Dash smirked, shaking her head at nothing.

"Rainbow Dash, don't you think that is more of a... private conversation?" Rarity asked quietly.

"Heh, when you've been around Tucker for long enough, things that you wouldn't talk about in public are the only thing you talk about." Rainbow Dash chuckled, resuming her head rubbing.

"Wait, you're not Rainbow Dash." Tucker said quietly, but his voice was amplified through the sphere so they could hear him. "Neither are you..."

"What?" Rainbow Dash asked, lowering her hoof to get a clear view of Tucker's doings.

"What are you talking about, Tucker?" One of the mares who had her back to him asked, bending to the ground. "Don't you want to do it with me?"

"Come the fuck on, you can't expect me to believe you're Rainbow Dash." Tucker grunted to one who was waving her flank at him. "I mean, look at your legs. They don't look nearly as nice as hers. And her ass? Don't even get me started. Her ass is way more perfect than that. I would know since I might as well be staring at it every waking second. And probably just as many sleeping seconds too."

"What a pig." Rainbow Dash said, unable to stop herself from snickering at his usual ways. "Why did I doubt his ability to only focus on my ass?"

"Hmph. Indeed." Discord said curiously. With the snap of his claws, another one of the mares walked up to him and leaned on him.

"Come on, baby. Isn't this what you wanted?" The mare asked. "To do it with me?"

"Rainbow Dash's voice sounds a lot better than that. Need to dial up the sexy a notch."

"See what I mean?" Rainbow Dash asked, looking at Church. "All he seems to be interested in is s-"

"Her hair is half an inch longer than yours as well." Tucker said quietly and Rainbow Dash's eyes drifted back to him, unsure of what he said. He turned to one on his left that was fluttering her eyelashes at him and scoffed. "Her eyes are a lot darker than that and you're about three shades of blue lighter than her."

"Aw, don't be such a party pooper when you could party in my-"

"Listen, I'm just going to stop you right there." Tucker coughed, cheeks growing red, actually feeling sorry for the mares. "If I'm going to do it with Rainbow Dash, I'm going to do it with the real one, not some pretenders."

"And if you have to wait a few years?" One of them asked.

"It'll probably be worth the wait." Tucker shrugged without hesitation. "I mean, don't get me wrong, you all look nice for ponies, but... I think Rainbow Dash is the first girl that's put up with me before finding out about how great I am at sex, and that is kind of an accomplishment. When the day finally does come, both literally as well as sexually, she'll see just how much of a catch I am and maybe not hate me as much as she does. Woah."

"What is it?" One of the mares asked as Tucker shook his head.

"I... I think I have an actual connection with her. I don't think that's something I've ever had before. I mean, I've said I had a few, but... this feels weird... I think I actually really do love her. Not just for how good I think she'll be in the sack either. But her personality is like mine, the way she smiles actually... makes me happy." Tucker said in disbelief. "I can't believe I actually have a connection with someone..."

Rainbow Dash smiled softly at the picture of him walking through the group of mares to get to the other door on the other side of the room.

"We can have a connection too." A mare ensured him, grabbing onto his left wing in a warm, sensual embrace. "Besides, we can give you something Rainbow Dash never will."

"What, Herpes? I already have that." Tucker chuckled, looking up to the white ceiling to think. "And Gonorreah... Hepatitis... a few others, are any of those what I'm going to get?"

No reply was given to Tucker, so he looked to his wing and saw that the mare was no longer holding onto it. He then looked around to see that the mares were no longer in the room, having either run away or disappeared.

"Jeez, see, now this is why I didn't do it. You guys just don't get my jokes!"

"Wow." Church said with surprise. "He has emotions. Who'd have thought?"

"Didn't he have that one nightmare where he got worried about Rainbow Dash?" Twilight asked.

"I guess, but that was more straight up traumatic than anything else." Church shrugged, then looked at Discord. "So does that mean he passed the test?"

"The first part." Discord smiled, patting the ball that he was standing on top of. A microphone materialized in front of Discord, so he cleared his throat and pressed the button on the bottom of it. "Almost there, Tucker. You still have one thing left to do."

"Right. Rainbow Dash is the Element of... Blueballs? No, that doesn't sound right. Denying bow-chika-bow-wows doesn't sound right either..." Tucker muttered pensively, stopping to think for a few seconds. "Shit, how am I going to get out of here?"

Restrained

As soon as Grif blew into Tex's mouth, her eyes shot wide open and she instinctively rolled out of the way and began gagging. While she did that, Grif let out a violent shudder and trotted up to the bed and resumed his eating. Once Tex had finished nearly throwing up, she squinted at Grif and began walking towards him. As she neared him, her eyes darted to the other side of the fire. She sighed and walked next to it, then sat on the grass near the fire where the snow had melted to dry off. She watched silently as Grif munched on cookies, paying her no attention.

"Why'd you save me?" Tex asked flatly.

"Yeah. You're welcome." Grif mumbled sourly, not turning to look at her.

Tex looked back to the fire and the pair sat in silence for a few minutes while Grif ate. In the throne room, the girls stared at Grif, slack jawed. They knew there was no love between them, nor even the slightest bit of respect. Even Caboose tilted his head at the sight. Church, however, stared silently, eyes darting between Grif and Tex.

"Church, it's okay, he just saved her, that's all." Twilight assured him, but he paid no heed. "Church?"

"I think he seems to be enjoying it." Discord noted as Church started to smile.

"How can't I? Now I have something to blackmail both of them with once they beat your little game."

"Oh?" Discord asked with a strained chuckle. "Being open minded now, are we?"

"The only time someone should be an optimist is when there's nothing left to do."

"Who's Kaikaina?" Fluttershy asked, watching Grif as he ignored Tex.

"His sister."

"Oh, okay." Fluttershy nodded gratefully, then cleared her throat and stared at Discord.

"Come now, Fluttershy. Do you really think he really save her with the kindness of his heart? Didn't you notice how he saved her under the pretense of him thinking she was his sister? No, Grif's scenario has only just begun, along with Tex's." Discord said, looking into the sphere to resume watching them.

"So." Tex coughed when she had dried off. "What do we do now?"

"We?" Grif asked with a harsh laugh, now looking at her. "If you think I'm going to go anywhere with you, you have another thing coming. I saved you and that's all you're getting. But me? I'm going to sit here and keep eating."

"Come off it. You know you have to keep going." Tex growled. "You need me to be able to get anywhere."

"Yeah, but on my own time. And not with a complete bitch, also known as you."

"Right, well maybe I wouldn't be a bitch if all of you were somewhat useful."

"You're right, saving you was useless." Grif said as he rolled his eyes. "I should have just let you sink. Would have been less of a hassle on my part and I wouldn't have to be talking to you right now."

"That's because you knew that it would be easier for you if I was here. Besides, I'm not that bad."

"You're not that bad? You're fucking horrible. The reason I saved you was just a fluke. I saved you because I remembered my sister and how much I care about her, but once I got you out of the water I saw it was you. Even though I knew it was you at that point, I still fucking saved you. And you know what's funny about that? I expected not to hear a thank you. I expected you to beat me to death for saving your life! Do you know what that says about you? It says that you're not worth saving, but I did anyways, so if you would kindly fuck off and just leave me alone, that'd be great. It would be enough of a thanks and you won't even have to go against your terrible attitude." Grif growled. "And that's me putting it lightly."

As Grif turned around on the bed so his back could warm up, Tex looked back down to the fire and focused on it, watching as it flicked about.

"I have my reasons for being this way." Tex said quietly.

"Sure you do." Grif mumbled sarcastically. "You can go away now and do your little tests. If you see Simmons or Tucker, tell them good luck. If you see Sarge, well, tell him he can fuck off too."

Grif sat on his side, listening to the sound of Tex getting off the ground and the crackle of the flames. Satisfied that she was leaving, he sunk his head further into the pillow and closed his eyes. He then opened his eyes several seconds later when he heard Tex cough, just to find her standing in front of him.

"What?" Grif asked, closing his eyes again.

"Maybe I am a little harsher on you than the others, but you can't say you're a saint either." Tex sighed.

"No, I'm not, but at least I know I'm not a saint."

"Yeah... I guess you do..." Tex nodded, taking a step away from him. "Thanks. For saving me, that is."

"...You're welcome..." Grif muttered reluctantly. With great hesitation, he sat up on the bed and yawned. "Let's get one thing straight, just because you thanked me doesn't mean I like you."

"I was going to say the same thing." Tex smirked at him, then frowned. "Listen, I know I said it would would be better for you if you came with me, but I also think it would better for me if you came with me."

"How do you figure that?"

"Because I'm strong enough to do all the heavy lifting."

"Right, but how could me going with you benefit you? I thought I was a lazy piece of shit."

"You are, but... you seem to have a better grip on things than me." Tex sighed. "Like this place. Or, you know, not the maze, but the place where you're actually staying."

"Maybe saying I have a grip on things is being a little too nice."

"Maybe, but you're closer than I am. I don't fit in well here. Not that I fit well with you guys before, but now this place is all about peace... You know what I've done basically the entire time? I've been sitting in Twilight's little tree-house doing nothing." Tex said with a small, forced laugh. "And let me tell you, I have not really been enjoying it. I mean, Twilight's been trying to make it easier for me, which I guess I am a little happy for, but it hasn't been helping that much. Like this Elements of harmony garbage? I fail at things I'm good at, so I'm not afraid to admit that I'll need more than just determination to actually do well in... well, being nice."

"Nice speech."

"It's true." Tex said quietly. "I actually doubt I'll ever really fit in here."

"For starters you can stop hitting people." Grif muttered.

"How will I explain how I got this?" Tex asked, looking at her skull shaped Cutie Mark.

"Could get a job as a gravedigger." Grif suggested with a smile. "I mean, you might as well be one for all the people you've murdered in cold blood."

"Yeah... I don't think so."

"Well, you can't use magic so being a crazy ass necromancer wouldn't make any sense either." Grif grunted, then shrugged after a few seconds. "I guess you don't really have to think of that now. So what should we do now?"

"I don't know, just keep going I guess. This guy seems insane, but he also does it because he enjoys chaos. He wouldn't put our objective too far away from us, especially in a maze. It would make it too boring to watch." Tex scowled.

"Well, as long as it's not too far, I can go." Grif sighed as he hopped off his bed. He looked back at the tray, where a fresh stack of oreos was already awaiting him. He then grabbed the plate with his teeth and put it on his back, then nodded at Tex. "Let's go."

"That's the spirit." Tex rolled her eyes as he walked next to her. "Can't forget the cookies..."

"Hey, don't get me wrong, not hitting people is a good start, but there is probably a bit more you could do to fit in."

"What did you have in mind?"

"You can stop being a cunt."

"Don't push it."

Holiday Spirit

"Are we there yet?" Grif asked for the dozenth time after several minutes of walking around the empty halls of the maze.

"No, we're not." Tex growled annoyingly.

"You said it wouldn't be that far..."

"I thought it wouldn't." Tex sighed.

"Jesus, this is impossible. She can be anything!"

"Was that Tucker?" Tex asked.

"I think so." Grif replied slowly.

"Is she the Element of Racing?"

Tex motioned her head forward, telling Grif to follow her as she walked up to the door. Slowly pushing it open, she looked through the rack of the door to see Tucker sitting on the ground, rubbing his chin.

"Can I get an actual hint?" Tucker pleaded. "Sitting in here is boring!"

"I'm surprised you're alive." Tex coughed, making Tucker swing around to look at her, then saw Grif walk in after her.

"Woah, Grif, you're with Tex? And you're alive? How the fuck did that happen?"

"It's a long story..." Tex said quietly, just to cough a few seconds later to try and change the topic.

"Really? What, did you guys settle your differences and kiss or something?" Tucker asked sarcastically.

Tex instantly looked away from Tucker and at the door that they came in from, while Grif looked to the ceiling and began whistling very, very loudly.

"No way..." Tucker grinned wildly, eyes darting between the two awkward ponies. "Oh, come on, now you have to tell me."

"We don't have to say anything." Tex grunted.

"You'll crack eventually." Tucker smirked, then looked at Grif. "So seriously, what happened?"

"It involves an icey lake, being trapped on it and me sinking under the water."

"And then I sort of saved her." Grif coughed sheepishly. "Don't tell Church, okay?"

"Why did you save her?" Tucker asked, earning a harsh glare from Tex.

"Because the same thing happened to my sister, and I just-"

"No, I don't mean why did you save her, I mean why did you save her, as in her specifically?" Tucker inquired, but there was a look of confusion on both of their faces. "What I mean is Tex is an AI, right? I mean, she's not a robot now, but I don't think she can really die, and if she did she'd just turn into that ghost thing like Church did back at Dash's place and Gary did back in the forest, wouldn't she?"

"Okay, may I?" Tex asked, instantly snapping her neck to look at Grif.

"I think this can be a one off sort of deal, yeah." Grif nodded.

"Thanks."

"What are you- fuck!" Tucker yelped as Tex turned around and bucked Tucker in the face. "You bitch, what was that for?"

"For being a smart ass."

"So besides getting kicked in the face, have you guessed Rainbow's Element?"

"Yeah, I guessed a few."

"How about the Element of Blueballs?" Grif asked curiously.

"Yeah, that was my first one." Tucker nodded in anger as he got off the ground, rubbing his muzzle.

"Hm. That's a tough one." Grif muttered thoughtfully. "What about the Element ooooooof... Flying?"

"I'm pretty sure it has to be something to do specifically with friendship." Tex said as she looked around the room. "You know, like trust and that sort of stuff."

"Then what do you think Dash's would be?"

"I don't know, the only one I've really talked to is Twilight, and Church already knew hers." Tex grunted, almost as if she didn't like talking about friendship.

"Any ideas what Fluttershy's could be?" Grif asked, looking at Tucker.

"I don't know, she seems kind of... quiet, I guess. Maybe innocence?"

"That sounds about right." Grif nodded sharply. "Hey, uh, Discord guy, Fluttershy is the Element of Innocence."

The sound of a buzzer going off came from every direction, almost deafeningly loud. The three jumped to the ground and covered their ears until the sound subsided. Once it did, they collected themselves off the ground and looked around.

"Guess we were wrong." Tucker sighed.

"What gave you that idea?" Tex asked, smiling forcibly at him.

"Well that loud buzzer sort of-"

"Shut it." Tex said, stamping her hoof on the ground. "Come on, we should try to find Sarge and Simmons. The guessing can come when we're all together, that way maybe one of the others can guess it right."

"That sounds like a decent plan." Tucker nodded, walking towards the door.

"We came from that way, and I'm pretty sure there aren't any doors we didn't look inside already." Tex added as Tucker went to push it open.

"Same with my way."

"You probably missed something."

"Not with these eyes." Tucker said confidently, squinting at her. "I'm like an eagle. A sexual eagle."

"Well, eagles are predators..." Tex grunted as she sat down to think.

"Thanks. I think." Tucker said quietly. "So. What now? We're both sure we've at least looked through all the doors, right? So where else an we go?"

"We must have missed something." Tex insisted, kicking open the door that Tucker had originally came from.

"Well, obviously." Tucker muttered.

"So, Tex, have any ideas on what Pinkie represents?" Grif asked.

"I think so, but I'm going to hold off on guessing for a bit. If I guess right, that guy might take me out of here and you guys would have to go through it yourselves, and by go through it, I mean sit around doing nothing while guessing randomly."

"Do you think we can guess each other's to get out?" Tucker asked hesitantly.

"No, I don't think so." Tex shrugged. "But what do you think she is?"

"From the way she hides random shit everywhere in town, I'd have to say the Element of Surpri-"

Before Tucker could finish his sentence, a trap door opened up from underneath them, making them fall into another level of the maze, dazed and confused as they got off the ground.

"You really had to open it then, didn't you?" Tex growled at nothing.

"Yes. Yes I did." Discord's voice said happily, again, coming from no determinable location. "But, the good news is you are on the level that both Sarge and Simmons are on, and you will most likely meet them soon."

"Tell me, how is this fun to you?" Church asked as Discord made his microphone disappear once again.

"Church, when you've been trapped in stone for over a thousand years, you quickly learn that anything is fun." Discord chuckled hollowly. "Even staring at clouds feels exhilarating."

"Then why don't you do that?"

"Because clouds get boring. I'm here to spice things up, make everyone's lives more interesting. You know I used to be famous for my personality before Celestia did what she did to me?"

"Right, because trapping you in stone would change your personality this much."

"She did much more than that." Discord smirked, looking at the Celestia statue. "I bet she isn't enjoying the fact that she's currently tasting her own medicine. She is a tad depressing to look at, though."

"Maybe we can decorate her with shiny things!" Caboose suggested.

"Ha, I like it!" Discord said instantly. Turning his attention to entertaining the simple minded pony, he flew over to the Celestia statue and used his magic to summon up a box of shiny baubles. "Come, Caboose, we have much decorating to do!"

"This is going to be so much fun!" Caboose whooped as he trotted towards Discord and their makeshift Christmas tree.

"I know." Discord chuckled, pulling out a shiny purple ball, which he put on the tip of Celestia's stone mane. "You know, even if they somehow get out of there, I think it would still be worth it to see the look on Tia's face when she-"

"Hey!" Pinkie said angrily. Discord and Caboose looked straight at her, faces curious. "I want to help!"

"Pinkie!" Twilight gasped.

"Silly Twilight, not decorating her isn't going to make her come back any faster. Besides, Celestia won't mind that much." Pinkie giggled as she hopped towards them. "Ooh, any shiny necklaces in there?"

Buck Shot to the Brain

"How does this look?" Pinkie asked as she put a red ball onto Celestia's nose.

"I like it!" Discord smiled as he hung a white ball over Celestia's ear. "Oh, she is just looking so flashy."

"I know!" Caboose laughed.

"That's enough, Discord. The others are playing your game in the maze and we can't do anything to you. The least you could be is a gracious host by

"Gracious? Heh, I'm being gracious enough by inviting you to join me in our little festivities here. I even decided against turning you into stone."

"You couldn't do that." Rainbow Dash said boldly. "We're stronger than you, even if we can't turn you into stone."

"I could. You see, I just prefer to have you guys around to talk to. After all, I need somepony to admire my plans. Church is simply to angry to admire such work and Caboose, well... he's Caboose."

"I am Caboose!"

"Indeed you are!" Discord nodded slowly, watching as Caboose and Pinkie continued on with the decorations, stifling a laugh when Pinkie put a cookie ornament into Celestia's angry, open mouth. "Oh, I'm willing to bet Celly hasn't had this much fun in years."

"Why are you leaving Luna alone?" Twilight asked.

"It's because I have no qualms with Luna." Discord sighed, draping a green scarf around Celestia's neck. "At least she tried to talk to talk to her before they imprisoned me. She wanted to reason with me. Celestia, however, didn't. She wanted to take the easy way, as usual."

"Maybe because you're not the reasoning type." Twilight noted quietly.

"I am willing to bet you thought that way about a few others." Discord chuckled coyly, a certain gleam of viciousness in his eyes as he glanced over to Church. "Besides, Luna has enough trouble fitting in to this new world, and I am far from heartless. If anything, I admire her for standing up to her sister. Speaking of Luna, you know what I find funny?"

"Is it a joke?" Caboose asked.

"Of a sort." Discord nodded. "You see, I try to make things more interesting, but I'm labeled as a monster. Luna, however, tries to keep it night forever, which would have extremely drastic effects on crops and the like, but she gets forgiven."

"After being on th' moon for a thousand years." Applejack added.

"Hmph, I was put into stone for longer than that." Discord muddled as he made a back-scratcher appear. "At least Luna was allowed to scratch her back every once and a while..."

"Ah'm sure she had just about as much fun as you..."

"I suppose, but my point remains. Me? I'll never be forgiven and I don't even hurt anypony! Say, you want to see my impression of Celestia?" Discord asked, but before anybody could say no he clicked his claws together, transforming his face into a rough mixture of his face and Celestia's. "Twelve hundred years, stone imprisonment. All of you. Stone. Seven hundred years. No trial."

"Oh, do me! Do me!" Caboose said, clapping his hooves together.

"Alright." Discord said eagerly, waving his arm in front of his face to change the look of his face to Caboose's. "Hello, my name is Caboose, and I like to have fun!"

"Hey!" Caboose gasped as if he had just received a stunning realization. "I do like to have fun!"

"Me next!" Pinkie squealed.

"Enough of this." Applejack muttered, walking up to the sphere. "Er, apple shaped image fella, can ya show me what Sarge is up to?"

The sea of images shuffled around for a few seconds then stopped. One of the images then started to expand, showing Sarge walking through a place that was all too familiar with him. He was currently walking through a rather large canyon, whistling happily.

"Gunna beat them Blues, gunna grab their flag, gunna shoot 'em up and toss 'em in a trash bag." Sarge sung happily as he trotted over to what appeared to be the Blue base. "Gunna find 'em all, and burn their base down, turn 'em into ashes and spread 'em over town. Oh, that's what I'm gunna do~"

"Hey, his songs are getting less violent." Church noted dryly when Sarge stopped in front of the base.

"Any of you Blues in there?" Sarge asked, knocking on the metallic door. "No? Well I'm coming in anyways!"

Sarge hummed as he trotted through the doorway until he stopped in the middle to admire his trophy. As he reached out to grab the flag, he stopped himself from touching it then stared at the ground.

"Hmm. This is missing something." Sarge said quietly, putting his hoof on the ground. He began to look the flag over for traps, then remembered he was dealing with the Blues, not other Reds. He smirked, grabbed the flag and took it out of it's holder. He then lost his smirk and put the flag back where it was. "Dammit, it just doesn't feel the same."

An idea popped into Sarge's and he quickly left the abandoned base and made his way back to his. Once inside, he grabbed the flag with his teeth and galloped full speed back to his would-be enemies base. Once inside, he dropped the flag next to the blue flag and smiled innocently, then ran around the corner.

"Dammit, the Blues have our flag and have almost captured it entirely!" Sarge yelled, barely faking sincerity. "If only we were competent enough to stop them!"

Sarge looked around the corner, expecting someone to have grabbed the flag, but it simply sat there, cloth wrapped around the shiny pole. With a scowl, he walked up to his flag and tapped it gently, pushing it closer to the other flag. Taking a few steps back, he tilted his head at the sight. Growling in frustration, he tapped the flag again so the two were nearly touching.

"Dammit, you dirty Blues! Get out here and capture my damn flag!" Sarge yelled, looking around the base. After a few seconds of silence he kicked the ground. "Playing hard to get, huh? I see how it is!"

Sarge left the base and quickly returned with a rather large rock on his back. He dropped it next to the flags and stared at it, wondering why he had even brought it there.

"There, now if you come out I'll even throw in this boulder! Clean, no scratches, never been used. I guarantee you'll never find another like it! Hell, you don't even have to pay any rental fees!" Sarge called out, just to be met with more silence. "You guys like rocks, don't you? Or are you guys some sort of rock elitists? Is that it? That's low, Blues, even for you."

"He's cracking up." Church said, both jokingly and with a tad of concern as Sarge paced around the room in anger.

"I know, isn't it exciting?" Discord asked, shooting to watch with them.

"You know what? If you don't come out, I'm going to take one of your rocks since they must be so much better than ours!" Sarge exclaimed as he ran outside.

Looking around feverishly, he saw an extremely large rock stuck in the ground. Dashing towards it, he began kicking the dirt out from around it. After a few minutes of doing that, he began trying to lift it. Once that didn't work, he backed away from the boulder and inhaled deeply. Letting out an extremely loud war-cry, he sprinted up to the rock and bucked it, shattering it into dozens of pieces down the middle.

"Get out here and capture my flag you sonsofbitches!" He yelled, continuing to buck the shattered remains of the boulder until it turned into a fine dust. Staring at the grains of stone, he threw his head back and laughed. "Now look! You guys are rockless and have to take our rock, otherwise you won't have any cover for you to hide behind!"

When Sarge looked back down, he noticed that the Blues still had a rather large amount of rocks on their territory. He then realized that since they weren't in their base, they must be hiding behind or beneath one of the rocks. Running up to the nearest rock, he bucked it until it turned into a mist, then dug through it in an attempt to find them. He then looked around and sighed.

"I'm going to find you dirty Blues, and when I do, you're going to capture my dang-nabbed flag!"

Color Blind

"I know you're here somewhere!" Sarge yelled after destroying his dozenth boulder. "Why don't you want to come out and play a rousing game of capture my flag while I yell at you?"

The only reply given to Sarge was the blowing of the wind.

"Fine, I see how it is!" Sarge said sadly, stumbling towards the hill that rested between both bases. Noticing a rock on the hill, he smiled brightly and jumped behind it. "I guess I will just sleep here and totally slack off like Grif! Hopefully they won't attack our base during that time!

"This is getting depressing." Church muttered as Sarge looked over the rock at the Blue base.

"I'll say. Even I'm feeling sad for him." Discord coughed discreetly. "How about I speed up the process a tad?"

"That would be great." Church said as Sarge's lip began quivering slightly, making Church feel very, very uncomfortable.

With the clap of his hands, one of the clouds opened up and Simmons fell out, slamming into the ground.

"That's speeding up the process?" Rarity asked, appalled as she watched Simmons roll around on the ground, groaning in pain. "By my mane, if you so much as harm Simmons or any of the other gentlecolts again, I will-"

"You will what? Whine? Complain? I'm afraid that won't have much of an effect on me." Discord chuckled.

"Bwuh..." Simmons groaned as he sat up, eyes clamped shut.

The sound of a branch snapping made Simmons open his eyes. He then opened them further when he realized he wasn't in another one of the white halls.

"Simmons!" Sarge hissed, popping up from behind one of the few remaining rocks in the canyon. "Get over here!"

"Sarge?" Simmons sputtered in confusion as he looked around. "Are we where I think we are?"

"Damn right, soldier! Now get your ass in gear, the Blues are bound to attack at any moment!"

"Wait, really?" Simmons asked as he galloped to where Sarge was without hesitating. "I thought we were past all that stuff..."

"So did I, but these Blue devils are still after our flag." Sarge muttered in frustration as he crawled to the ground and peaked around the rock. "They even had the cajonelles to steal one of our rocks!"

"I think you mean cajones, sir." Simmons said quietly, then did a small double-take. "Wait, did you say ro-"

"You're right! Now quiet down so we can wait to ambush these idiots when they finally show themselves! You look out from your side and watch our base."

"Sir, yes, sir!" Simmons nodded, peeking out from his side of the rock.

"They thought they could hide from us!" Sarge chuckled darkly.

"Uh, are you alright, sir?" Simmons asked nervously, turning to look at Sarge. Now that he was this close, he could see that Sarge's mane was slightly more unkempt and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Never better, Simmons!" Sarge said loudly, eyes snapping on Simmons. "Why aren't you looking out from your side?"

"Sorry, sir." Simmons yelped, twisting his head to keep his eyes glued on the base. "Wait, did you say the Blues are hiding?"

"Of course they are. They're cowards!"

"I see. Was this before or after they took our flag?"

"And our rock!"

"Right, and our rock..." Simmons groaned, knowing Sarge's sanity had finally drained.

"Well, it was both before and after!"

"If they were hiding then how did they get our flag?" Simmons inquired slowly, then Sarge looked at him furiously so he sighed. "And our rock?"

"They used their Blue voodoo magic to possess me into bringing our stuff to them! I tell you, they're getting dirtier and craftier every minute!"

"Alright. That's enough proof for me." Simmons muttered as he got up from behind the rock and started making his way to the opposing base.

"Simmons, what are you doing? You're going to blow my well-crafted and carefully thought out cover!" Sarge yelped as he jumped out from behind his rock to run after Simmons.

"Sir, with all due respect, you've gone bat-shit insane."

"Insane? Or am I finally in sane?"

"The first one."

"Oh really?" Sarge asked, slowing his pace to watch where he was walking. "That sounds like the sort of thing a Blue would say."

"Sir?" Simmons asked, turning his head to look at Sarge.

Sarge let out a war-cry as he jumped in the air to tackle Simmons to the ground. Instantly, Simmons' horn flared into action and Sarge froze in midair, surrounded by a maroon glow.

"I knew you were a traitor!" Sarge yelled, twitching to break free. "You treason-loving turncoat! You Benedict Arnold impersonating backstabber!"

"Sir, mind if I ask you something?" Simmons inquired as he floated Sarge over to him.

"I'll never tell you anything! I always knew you'd go back to the Blues after that one time..."

"Right." Simmons sighed as he looked around the canyon for a few seconds, before smiling and walking ahead.

"What are you smiling about?" Sarge asked hesitantly.

"I'm going to put you somewhere safe before you break yourself." Simmons grunted as he approached the cave.

Sarge opened his mouth to complain, but Simmons quickly threw Sarge into the cavern and released him. As Sarge stumbled to get up, he glanced upwards to see several purple cylindrical lights floating around Simmons. Remembering what it was, Sarge darted towards him, but Simmons shot the rocket shaped onto the top of the cavern entrance. As each rocket hit the cave, they exploded, causing the entrance of the cave to fall in on itself.

"I'm going to get out of here!" Sarge said as he began digging at the rocks. "Look around! Can you see what I did to those rocks out there? I did that without stopping, what makes you think this will slow me down?"

"Because if you kick that out, you'll risk bringing the entire cave down on you." Simmons sighed as he began walking away. "I'll be back soon once I find proof that there the Blues aren't here."

"Where did I go wrong with you, huh? We used to be pals! Buddies!" Sarge groaned.

"We... were?" Simmons asked, pausing.

"Yeah, remember that time that we used to yell at the Blues?"

"I do remember that." Simmons nodded. "That was pretty fun, sir."

"Pretty fun, Simmons? Pretty fun? It was much more than that." Sarge laughed. "It was a bonding experience!"

"Right." Simmons muttered quietly, realizing that the Sarge he was talking to was no longer the Sarge he knew, so he continued his walk to the Blues base. "I'll be back to get you out soon."

"Simmons? Simmons, get back here!" Sarge commanded, but Simmons paid no heed.

"Hello?" Simmons asked as he walked into the Blue base. "If I say nobody is here, would I be right?

Simmons fell silent, both awaiting an answer to his rhetorical question, and when he saw that the rock that was inside the Blue base was quite large. Shaking his head, Simmons walked up to one of the computers in the Blue base and tapped on it with his hoof. It was off. He then pressed the power button, and to his surprise, the screen turned on.

"Hello, Simmons!" Discord greeted from the throne room.

"Uh, hi." Simmons said quietly, surprised to see Discord smiling at him. "Listen, I have a little situation up here."

"Oh, yes, we see that quite well from here." Discord nodded sweetly. "He's going off the deep-end, and I am finding it quite funny."

"Yeah, I'm not." Simmons muttered when he saw the girls, along with the two blues that stayed back, behind him. "Where are Tucker and Tex?"

"Not interested in Grif?"

"I just want to know where the other Blues are so I can tell Sarge none of them are here."

"That's all you want to know?" Discord asked playfully, trying to toy with Simmons.

"Yup." Simmons nodded.

"Are you sure? I know quite a few answers to many of life's-"

"I'm sure. Please just tell me if they're here or not." Simmons said, shaking his head once when Discord smiled. "And I know they're in the maze, what I mean is are they in this room?"

"You're no fun..." Discord grunted, scratching his beard. "But no, they aren't, but I could-"

"Thanks, that's all I needed to know." Simmons muttered as he shut the screen off.

"Rude." Discord huffed.

Simmons then turned around and started to walk out of the base to go tell Sarge.

"Hello, Simmons." Sarge grunted, his mane and body covered with bits of rocks as Simmons walked out of the base.

"Sarge?" Simmons asked quietly. "How did you get out without crushing your-"

"There's more than one exit." Sarge said quietly, walking towards him. "Blue."

"Son of a bitch."

Planning Ahead

"Bet you thought you'd never see me again, did you?" Sarge said, head tilted to the side as he took small steps towards Simmons.

"Uh, I was actually just about to go get you." Simmons said truthfully.

"Heh, likely story." Sarge chuckled. "I bet you were in there calling for your Blue team support, weren't you?"

"What? No, I went inside to find proof that there are no Blues here. Not only that, but remember that the teams aren't really, well, real?"

"Oh, I remember just fine what you said." Sarge said with a shiver. "But then again, I can't really be expected to trust your kind's words, can I? Heh, wait until you see what I have planned for you."

"Uh... how about you tell me, then I can tell you if it's a good plan or not."

"Alright. First, I'm going to tackle you to the ground and knock you unconscious. Then I am going to grab something sharp to cut off your skin and wear, that way when your reinforcements come they will think I'm you! As in a Blue! And after that, I'll point them towards your skinned body and tell the you're a Red! Being the mindless and violent drones they are, they will kill you in a horrific and torturous way, then take the flag. And when they take the flag, I will come in and finish them off once and for all because nobody takes the Red flag and gets away with it!"

"I don't like that plan!" Simmons yelped as he turned around and began to run inside. "I don't like that plan at all!"

"Get back here, you no good plotter!" Sarge growled, then glanced behind him, left eye opening and closing. "Shut up, Donut!"

"Help! Sarge has gone crazy! Er! Crazier!" Simmons cried out loud as he ran into the Blue base.

"Aha! You're going to get some weapons, aren't you? Well two can play at that game!" Sarge yelled, instantly turning around to run to the Red base.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no." Simmons repeated over the course of a minute as he looked around the Blue base for something to defend himself with. "Come on, there has to be something in here to defend myself with."

"If I may make a suggestion..." Discord laughed, screen crackling back to life.

"What?" Simmons asked, happy to do almost anything to get out of his predicament.

A portion of the wall slowly rolled out, mist coming out from the cracks. The bit of wall then fell to the ground, revealing it to be a locker. The locker snapped open, revealing a battle rifle sitting firmly inside.

"You could, hypothetically, take him out with this by using your magic to operate it." Discord smiled darkly. "Think of it as a last defense so you don't actually die. A lot more accurate than your little rock poppers too."

"I don't want to have to kill him." Simmons said quietly.

"Then wound him." Discord shrugged. "You know, if he was out of the way, you could become the head of the Red team. Of course, you no longer want that sort of life do you? Er, forget I said anything then. I am certainly not saying you're still the green with jealousy type."

The screen with Discord on it then shut off, leaving Simmons alone to stare at the weapon.

"You come out here, because I have a pretty big rock and I don't want to have to carry it all the way in there to beat you with it!" Sarge yelled as he approached the Blue base, boulder on his back. "Unless I have to. In which case, I will come in."

"Dammit." Simmons grunted, the rifle instantly floating to his side, surrounded by his glow.

"Come on, I know you're in there!" Sarge growled, then waited a few seconds to see Simmons skulk out, both their eyes glued together. "Heh, facing your death like a Red! Almost admirable."

"Yeah, it is." Simmons said quietly, gun slowly floating out from the base until it was next to Simmons.

"Where'd you get that gun?"

"Where'd you find that fucking rock? I thought you broke them all..."

"Don't change the subject!" Sarge snapped, letting the boulder roll off his back so he could walk towards Simmons.

"Stand back, sir. I don't want to have to do this!" Simmons warned him, pointing the gun straight at his legs.

"I know you, Simmons, you wouldn't hurt an unarmed soldier! You don't have the rocks for it!" Sarge chuckled ironically.

"Oh yeah? Suck it, Red!" Simmons yelled, using his magical abilities to clench the trigger down. And again. He then looked at the gun and noticed green jello sliding out of the muzzle. Feigning innocence, he looked at Sarge and smiled at him. "See, I just wanted to, uh, give you something to eat because I felt you must be hungry!"

"I'm insane, not stupid, you idiot!" Sarge muttered, jumping at Simmons once again. Sarge saw Simmons ready himself with his magic, so he bucked him in the nose, disorienting him. "Not this time, Blue."

"Fuck." Simmons muttered, rubbing his nose as he tried to get off the ground, only to be kicked back down. "Definitely not want of my best plans..."

"That's because-"

"Yeah, I'm Blue, like you keep saying..."

"Stop stalling! I know your reinforcements are on the way, you no good-"

Sarge was quickly interrupted when a black blur rammed into him, sending him tumbling on the ground. Quickly gaining his senses, Simmons looked back up to see an angry mare standing on Sarge.

"Get off me!" Sarge commanded.

"Tex! Oh, thank god!" Simmons stuttered as he jumped off the ground in excitement. "I never thought I'd be this happy to see you!"

"I knew you were teaming up with them all along!" Sarge grunted as Tex held him down. "I should have done you in when I had the-"

"Yeah, I'm not really too sorry about this." Tex sighed before hitting Sarge in the face, causing him to slump over. She then put her head under Sarge's back and lifted him onto her back. "Any place to put him around here?"

"I guess you could try the cave." Simmons nodded quickly. "But there are a few exits that you might need to cover."

"Damn, looks like we came a bit too early." Grif muttered sarcastically.

"I swear, it's never happened to me before." Tucker said quickly.

"Yeah." Simmons said quietly before turning to watch Tex as she neared the cave. "Thank god for that out-of-fucking-nowhere deus Tex machina..."

"We've been in this place for what? Half an hour? What made Sarge go off like that?" Grif asked.

"He thought I was on the Blue team again, so he tried to, well, kill me."

"At least it wasn't me." Grif shrugged.

"Hey, there's another exit in this cave that somebody needs to cover!" Tex yelled.

"Alright." Simmons sighed. "Just let me-"

"Don't worry, I got this." Grif said quietly, slowly flapping his wings to take off, then quickly flew over to the ex-Freelancer.

"Grif... is volunteering for work? With Tex?" Simmons asked, mouth hanging slightly ajar. "And I though Sarge going mental like that was strange. What gives?"

"Oh, they made out or something like that." Tucker shrugged.

"Wait, what?" Simmons said, face filling with disgusted curiosity.

"Yeah, they wouldn't tell me everything, but you learn these things if you pay attention." Tucker smiled, then motioned his head towards the caverns and began walking towards them.

"Rigggght." Simmons said as he shook off a strange feeling going through his spine while he accompanied Tucker. "So were all of you near each other to begin with?"

"Nah, they sort of did, but I sort of appeared in a hallway close to a room where there was an orgy. And it was all mares."

"That must have been fun for you."

"Eh, not really..."

"You two coming over here?" Tex asked.

"Yeah." Simmons called out as he began walking with Tucker. "So what do you mean it wasn't fun?"

"They kept forcing themselves on me. I had to tell them I was practically covered in STDs to get them away from me. Who knew it would be so difficult to weasel your way out of an orgy?"

"Wait..." Simmons repeated, watching as Tucker trotted away. "What?"

Rally

"Ugh, what happened?" Sarge asked as he sat up, holding his head with both hooves. "Last thing I remembered was.... I don't even know."

"You tried to kill me." Simmons muttered.

"I did? That doesn't sound like me. Are you sure I didn't try to kill Grif?" Sarge asked, looking at him standing next to Grif. "And why aren't you killing him with me?"

"You don't want to know." Tex said with a laugh, then shot Tucker a deadly glare.

"I won't say anything." Tucker said sheepishly.

"You better not." Tex growled.

"You don't remember trying to kill me for being a Blue?" Simmons pressed.

"I... I think I do." Sarge sighed sadly, getting off the floor of the cave.

The others looked at each other nervously as Sarge walked out of the cave, wondering if he was as sane as he was ever going to be. They nodded at each other and followed Sarge out of the cave, just to see him sit at the edge of the entrance to the cave, gazing wistfully outside.

"Sir?" Simmons asked curiously.

"I miss the old days." Sarge sighed sadly, looking at the Red base. "Back when it was Red vs Blue."

"You mean Blue vs Red." Tex muttered.

"Heh, funny." Sarge said sarcastically. "But you know what I mean, back when we knew where we stood. It was us against them, them against us, and occasionally them against them. Now I have no idea what it is. Back then things were simple."

"I don't think simple is the best word for that." Grif chuckled. "And what about us vs us? That seemed to happen a lot."

"It was almost always only us vs you, Grif." Sarge corrected him with a weak smile. "But now look at the place we're living. It just doesn't feel right."

"What do you mean?"

"We fought with each other for years, now we barely even see each other."

"Aw, are you missing us?" Tucker asked, before gurgling when Sarge grabbed him by the throat.

"I never miss." Sarge growled before releasing Tucker to the ground.

"I think the only thing I don't like is how Grif gets two Elements of Chaos when everybody else only gets one." Simmons muttered. "I mean, I work way harder in one day then he works in a Grif day."

"A Grif day?" Tex asked

"It's less than a day, but not quite as long as zero seconds."

"So negative seconds?"

"Yeah." Simmons nodded.

"If I avoid work during a Grif day, don't the two negatives cancel each other out?" Grif asked, raising a brow at Simmons.

"It doesn't work like that." Simmons muttered, beginning to feel a headache coming on.

"Well then how does it work?"

"It doesn't!" Simmons yelled, getting ready to hit Grif.

"See? This is what I miss. Being at each other's throats, the thrill of arguments and the pure ecstasy of destroying rocks." Sarge shook his head sadly. "Now, now it's all about being at each other's sides, the thrill of friendship and the pure ecstasy of eating apples. It's just not sitting well with me."

"Well, aren't those good things?"

"I signed up for it so I could fight and command, and now I'm doing the opposite of that. I just got lost in the moment." Sarge tutted. "I guess I'm really just out of my element here."

"We all are, sir."

"I guess." Sarge sighed, frown deepening.

"Sir, as much as I hate to say it, you're being a little bitch." Simmons said as he got off the ground. "Ever since I joined the Red team I looked up to you. Sure, I'll admit that I envied your position and wanted it, but I was also just as fine staying where I was. I liked being given orders. When you're at the top, you don't have as much direction as you did when you were in the middle, and I love directions! I mean, look at Tex! She's a cruel, mean, cold-hearted bitch - no offense."

"None taken." Tex smirked.

"But even she's been trying to adapt. Hell, she even kissed Grif!"

"She what?" Sarge asked, face turning from sadness to disgust.

"It wasn't a kiss, it was CPR!" Grif argued.

"Oh please, like you even know what CPR stands for."

"Cardio... something... shut up." Grif muttered.

"Anyways, even Tex has adapted more than she'd realized. Grif has been doing more work thanks to Fluttershy, and Tucker even shot down a few mares at having sex!"

"A few is a bit of an understatement, it really was more like twenty." Tucker coughed.

"See what I mean, Sarge? Tucker changed, Tex changed, even Grif did!"

"What's your point?"

"My point is this. Things change. You either adapt and move with them, or you stay behind in the past and be lost forever. As soldiers, it is our job to adapt faster than others. We move faster, are stronger, as well as smarter than regular people." Simmons said, giving Tex a small scowl, silently telling her to shut up before turning back to Sarge. "But while those aren't reasons explaining why we're here, those reasons doesn't matter. What matters is that we're here. Now tell me this, sir. What would your old drill sergeant do if he found you sulking like this?"

"He'd tell me to stop being whiny brat and hit me over the head with the butt of his rifle." Sarge said quietly, small smirk appearing on his face.

"Exactly." Simmons nodded, holding out his hoof to Sarge. "Now, are you going to sit here, remembering the past like a disappointment, disregarding everything your superiors taught you, or are you going to move on and learn to be a better person, nay, a better leader from it?"

"I'm going to be the best damn leader there is." Sarge said with a wry chuckle, grabbing his used-to-be soldier's hoof. "I'm going to find a time-machine so I can go into the future that turns time into a living person, bring the past to me and beat the living shit out of it! I'm going to make the past rue the day that it messed with me!"

"That's the spirit!"

"I will literally tear the past's spine out, suck out the marrow, spit it into a blender and smash it's face on a counter and-"

"That's getting a little excessive."

"Right, sorry."

"Not at all, sir."

"Er, I don't think I should be called that anymore." Sarge smiled briefly, then turned back into a more serious expression. "Unless you're using it as a term of respect, not because of a title that you're forced to call me due to my position."

"It's been that way all along, sir." Simmons said firmly, saluting him.

"You know, Simmons. You're a smart kid." Sarge smiled.

"Thank you."

"Now, how about we find out what each other's Elements are."

"That won't be completely necessary." Simmons said quietly.

"What do you mean? Don't you want to get out of here?" Tucker asked.

"I do, but we don't have to worry about the guessing games.' Simmons shook his head as the others looked at him curiously. "Whenever I worked with Rarity, she would always tell me about her friends. She would rarely talk about herself. And because of her telling me all the great things about those she loved, I learned what made them great at being friends."

"So wait, if you knew the Elements, why didn't you say it before to get out of here?"

"Because." Simmons said quietly, a small smile coming onto his lips. "I wanted us to go back together, for old time's sake. We got in this mess together, except for Tex, so I felt we should get out together."

"Awesome!" Grif said happily. "Let's get this over with!"

"Grif, by kissing one of his worst enemies-"

"It was fucking CPR!"

"-Whatever! By doing that to one of the people he hates most, he's demonstrated Fluttershy's Element. Kindness. Tucker, by actually not having sex because he wanted to be with Rainbow Dash represents the Element of Loyalty."

"I was close." Tucker said quietly.

"Blueballs?"

"Yup."

"You weren't close." Simmons muttered, then looked to Tex. "You, by not killing Grif and actually learning that things don't always have to be so serious, as well as learning to laugh at it later, represent the Element of Laughter."

"I guess you do have to learn to laugh when you guys are around." Tex nodded slowly.

"Sarge, by laying down your soul and admitting to us, as well as yourself, that you're ready to move on, represent the Element of Honesty."

"Er, can we not call it laying down my soul? That sound a little..."

"Gay?" Tucker guessed.

"Yeah, that."

"Sorry." Simmons said with a nervous smile.

"So, what do you represent?" Grif asked.

"Generosity." Simmons smiled, then disappeared from their sights.

The others looked at each other and nodded, one by one saying what they represent just to reappear in the throne room, where a strangely happy Discord smiled at them.

"Tucker!" Rainbow Dash yelled happily, tackling Tucker to the ground in a hug.

"Uh, good to see you again too?" Tucker said questioningly, looking at the others. "Who slipped Dash some LSD?"

"Nobody slipped me anything. It's... I saw what you did in there." Rainbow Dash coughed, flying off of him. "Thanks for, you know..."

"You saw that, huh?" Tucker chuckled. "Guess that means I'm the chick in the relationship, huh?"

"No." Rainbow Dash said, kissing him on the nose. "We both are."

"So I'm a lesbian?" Tucker inquired pensively as he looked up to the ceiling. "Cool, I can live with that."

"Isn't this nice?" Discord asked, drawing the attention away from the reunited group. "You have truly saved the day. Your names will be etched in stone to be remembered forever!"

"What are you so smug about?" Church asked quietly. "We beat your little game."

"Did you?" Discord asked, and with the snap of his claws several beams of gray light shot out of his hands and enveloped the Elements of Harmony, turning them to stone. The sound of eyes widening was music to his ears as he summoned a card with a joker on it into his hand. "Or did you just activate my trap card?"

History Repeats Itself

A straight beam shot out of Church's eyes, hitting Discord right in the chest, sending him frying into the wall. Discord let out a tired groan and he got off the ground, a visible burn mark on his body. Discord chuckled weakly and patted off the burn mark as if it was a thin veil of dust. As he looked back up to speak, he suddenly found himself being tackled by Church, who slammed him into the wall again, knocking the wind out of him. As Discord climbed off the ground again, Church's horn began to glow and he lifted him into the air.

"Enough." Luna said quickly, trotting forward to interfere. "You need not harm him."

"Thank you, Luna." Discord wheezed as he made a swatting movement with his hand, hitting Church to the side and into some of the shards of glass, making Church release him. "You're very rough around the edges, Churchy."

"Because I'm tired of your games!" Church growled, looking at his wings as they straightened out. "I just want to fucking end this so I can move on!"

Discord rolled his eyes as Church launched himself at Discord. Due to him not having used wings before, Church veered off to the side and missed Discord, much to the antagonists amusement.

"Oh, that was lovely, please do it again." Discord begged.

"Both of you, cease your fighting." Celestia commanded, stepping next to her sister to intervene with the scuffle.

"Celestia, may I just say I'm actually slightly happy to see you no longer in stone?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." Church snarled, jumping at Discord again, this time hitting him in the chest. "Now can you kindly go fuck yourself?"

"Now that's not very nice." Discord muttered, disappearing out from underneath Church just to reappear a few feet away from him. "Now Church, tell me. Why are you so sure that I'm the bad guy here?"

"Oh my fucking god, if you say all you're doing is trying to have fun one more time."

"No, I know you know that I am only trying to have fun." Discord said slowly, eyes calculating Church. "I simply mean how do you know that they aren't the bad guys?"

"Because I know I can trust them." Church muttered.

"Really now?" Discord asked, creating a bubble that surrounded everyone excluding the Princesses. "Well how about we find out just trustworthy your friends are."

"And how will you do that?" Church asked.

"Oh, just by refreshing her memory." Discord smiled, shooting a beam of magic straight at Twilight. When it hit her she let out a shudder and began coughing. "Let's see, how long ago did you guys come here? Eh, never mind, I don't need to know the exact date. Twilight, tell us about your first true report to Celestia."

"Dear Princess Celestia, I still don't fully understand why it was necessary for us to stop with our friendship reports to send you notes about these stallions." Twilight gasped as she clenched her eyes shut, feeling pinches of pain in her brain from the intrusive spell that forced her memories to the surface. "Then again, you are the Princess, and I am sure you have your reasons for making us do this. Sorry for rambling. Anyways, this Church stallion seems to be very... troubled, to say the least. A few hours ago he told me about most of his life. It was filled with nothing but violence, betrayal, heartbreak. He even told me his friends were his enemies, and if that doesn't tell me he's not to be trusted, then I don't know what does. I will explain more about his past to you in the letters to come, but for now I need to go to bed. I'll need a lot of rest to be in the right mindset to try and gain his full trust. Hopefully then we'll be able to prevent any damage they may cause. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."

"Well?" Discord asked with a cheshire grin.

"That's not her. She would never do that." Church said hopefully, giving Discord a weak glare. He then turned to Twilight. "Would you?"

"I..."Twilight started, then looked away ashamedly, not wanting to lie to him.

"Would you?" Church repeated, more forceful.

"Church, I'm sorry, but I have a-"

"Fucking Christ." Church scowled. "So that love garbage was just that, huh? Something you did to get in my head? Trying to make me feel bad for you just to see if you could?"

"Church, it's not like that."

"Then what is it like? Because I'd sure as hell would like to know if all you were doing was just trying to hurt me."

"You're my friend, I never meant to hurt you."

"If I'm your friend then why didn't you tell me? And how many of these fucking reports did you send to her?" Church asked.

"She does not have to answer to you, Church." Celestia said firmly.

"Celestia, would you kindly shut the fuck up before I make you?" Church snapped, but did not turn to look at her, choosing to keep his eyes on Twilight. "How many letters did you send?"

"I'm not-"

"Twilight, tell me how many fucking letters you sent." Church commanded painfully, making her flinch.

"A-about ten." Twilight stuttered, looking at the ground.

"And how about the rest of you?" Church asked, looking around at the others.

"There was probably about fifty reports between them all." Celestia said quietly.

"I knew this place was too good to be true." Church growled, aiming his horn at Celestia.

"Holy shit, dude. Calm down." Tucker muttered in disbelief.

"Calm down? Calm down? Why the hell should I calm down? They lied to us! All this time we thought we could trust them, but all they did was stab us in the back!"

"Boy, we knew they were watching us." Sarge grunted.

"Yeah, we did, but I didn't know that they were forcing themselves to be our friends just to get in our heads!" Church said, voice slightly deeper, more focused than before. "That friendship they've been selling us has just been a ruse. They never wanted to be our friends! They were forced into it by that sun bitch up there."

"Is that true?" Grif asked, looking at Fluttershy, but she looked away from him.

"See? They don't want to tell you the truth! They deceived us to turn us to their side and were probably never going to tell us!"

Grif looked at Church and then hung his head slightly. Then, looking back up, he squinted at Church, shook his head and walked next to Fluttershy. Sarge lifted his brow as Grif stood next to her staring ahead, then shrugged and joined him.

"As far as I'm concerned, they were in the right to do it. We just came out of nowhere, fought with each other in front of them and then were given to them to watch without a days notice. Now I'm not sure about you, but I would find it pretty damn hard to trust someone if I were in their hooves. Hell, I still barely trust any of you guys and I've been with you for years!" Sarge said as he stepped next to Applejack, then glanced at her with a dry smile. "Hell, I was pretending to be their friend just so I could stab them in the back later."

"What?" Applejack asked seriously.

"Heh, don't be a hypocrite AJ." Sarge chuckled. "You may not have known how dangerous we were, but we didn't know how dangerous you were either."

"Shut up!" Church yelled, only to slam his eyes shut as he began to feel a migraine coming on. "We need to go back. This place isn't worth our time."

"Son, how is this different from learning we're simulation troopers?" Sarge asked. "This is our home now. What do we have to go back to?"

"Wake the fuck up. This isn't our home. We'll never find a home. The only thing we'll find is more people that will betray us. I've had just about enough. Now tell me, whose side are you on?" Church inquired, looking at the other soldiers. "Mine, or theirs?"

"Church, you're seeing sides where there aren't any." Tucker said firmly, walking next to Rainbow Dash while Simmons walked next to Rarity.

"Caboose?" Church asked harshly to the dark blue stallion.

Caboose lowered his head and quickly backed away from Church, not liking seeing him like this.

"I see what this is. I should have seen it since the beginning. I guess I did know what it is, but I was hoping it wasn't." Church said quietly, taking a step back from the others. "I thought you guys had actually changed. Became more trustworthy. More dependable. I was wrong. You guys can't change. This is just another god damn simulation. None of this is real."

"It is real, Church." Tex said quietly. "Now come on, you're getting angry over nothing."

"What? I'm getting angry over nothing?" Church asked with a rough laugh. "No, I'm getting angry over everything. I'm tired of going through all this shit and be expected to sit back and take it."

"You're not expected to do anything, Church. Now please. Just stop this. I don't want you to become something that you hate." Tex said softly before lowering her head sadly.

"Allison..." Church said breathlessly, watching as Tex walked next to the others. Church shook his head and closed his eyes, legs shaking. "I guess I really can't trust anybody..."

"Church, you can trust us. We're your friends." Caboose reasoned.

"No, Caboose. No. I don't have any friends." Church disagreed as he looked back up, eyes brilliantly red. "All I have are problems that need to be solved."

Enhanced Combat

"Blue. Think about what you're doing." Sarge said cautiously, eyes narrowing to small slits as he watched the wrathful stallion.

"I've been thinking about it for the past few years." Church growled, eyes continuing their harsh glow. "I've thought about it for long enough."

"Hey, we thought about deleting you but we haven't done anything..." Sarge grunted.

"Well maybe you should have." Church yelled as he released the beam from his eyes, to everyone's surprise it went straight for it's target.

Sarge rolled out of the way of the oncoming beam and glanced behind him to witness the destruction. But the beam didn't pass him. Looking back, he saw Celestia standing in front of all of them, beam mere inches from her face as she blocked his beam with her magic. Church snarled and narrowed his eyes, concentrating to make the beam stronger and slimmer. But Celestia did not bat an eyelash. Instead, she used her magic to grab Church's head and forced him to look out the window and into the sky until he stopped.

"Enough." Celestia said flatly. "I'm not going to allow you to harm anyone."

"Right, because that would make me so much worse than you." Church snapped, flying straight at her, but again, Celestia flicked her horn, making Church drop to the ground.

"Church, I don't want to do something I'm going to regret."

"Everything I've seen you do so far has been something you regret!" Church yelled, jumping at her again, this time ramming himself into her, knocking her off balance. "I've never seen you do something you shouldn't regret."

"I do what I think is best for the ponies I watch over." Celestia said quietly as she quickly stabilized to focus on Church.

"Really?" Church growled, slamming into her again. "Like when you brought me to the garden and made that douche-bag come back to life?"

Celestia tried to get her balance, but got tackled again, this time knocking her to the floor. As she tried to get up, Church stomped on her stomach, knocking the breath out of her. The guys looked at each other and nodded, sprinting towards them, only to be repelled by a small sphere that surrounded them. As they looked at Church they noticed his eyes were now purple.

"Or how about when you lost to that Changeling Queen, huh?" Church muttered, grabbing Celestia with his magic just to throw her at the side of the shield, making her grunt. "You showed everyone how fucking powerless you are!"

"She was feeding on the love of others-"

"Right, she was feeding on the love of others and love is the most powerful magic of all. Shut. The fuck. Up." Church muttered, slamming her into the shield with each pause. "How about when you put us, aliens that you actually knew were the Elements of Chaos, with the girls, knowing full well that we would corrupt them?"

"It could have gone either way." Celestia said quietly. "There was just as much of a chance of the Elements of Chaos being harmonized as there was the Elements of Harmony being corrupted."

"You left the safety of the ponies you trust most with the toss of a fucking coin?" Church asked, trembling with fury as he dropped her to the ground. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I thought that the Elements of Harmony were stronger." Celestia sighed. "I've seen them grow with the girls, I saw what they overcome. Every time I wanted them to do something was to build them up, make them grow closer as friends. I was hoping by doing that, if something were to happen to me they would be ready for anything. I guess I trusted in them so much that I entrusted them with watching you, that way if they changed you I would know they were prepared for the worst."

"You wanted the worst?" Church asked, raising his hoof above Celestia's throat. "You fucking got it."

"Get away from her!"

Church snapped his head to his right to see who called out, but found himself tumbling across the floor of the throne room. Shaking his head, Church looked back to the bubble shield that was now broken to see a furious draconequus.

"Leave. Her. Alone." Discord said flatly, eyes burning into Church.

Church shrugged off his demand and galloped towards Celestia, only to be knocked to the floor again by Discord's magic.

"What? You wanted chaos!" Church complained, getting off the floor.

"Not this kind of chaos. This isn't the chaos I want." Discord growled, waving his claw at Celestia, who was shakily getting up with the help of her sister. "This isn't fun."

"It is for me." Church grunted.

"Well, it seems we're at a crossroads then." Discord said contemplatively, scratching his chin. "You want to kill her, but I want her to stay alive to toy with her. How do you suppose we settle this?"

"I could kill you." Church suggested as icily as he could.

"You could try." Discord chuckled. "Or I could try picking you back apart so you can do what you were told to do."

"I did what you wanted me to do!" Church snapped, jumping towards him, but phased right through the slippery devil. Church glanced back to see the real Discord sitting on the throne once again.

"Why do you keep assuming I wanted you to become the Alpha?" Discord asked curiously, looking over the alicorn.

"Because you told me to!"

"No, I didn't. I told you to be yourself, not whatever this is now." Discord said disdainfully, now eyeing Church with a small amount of contempt. "I think you heard what you wanted to hear."

"You think I wanted to be the Alpha?" Church growled, eyes glowing a soft red.

"Please, you've used that a few times already, now it's easy to stop." Discord sighed. "Seriously, try something new."

"You got it." Church muttered in a deeper voice, eye color changing to red before vanishing from Discord's sight.

"Well. That is new." Discord admitted, floating to where Church was. "I would have never guessed you him to be a cowa-"

Discord let out a pained grunt when something hit him in the chest. Looking around hastily, Discord saw that the Princesses looked just as concerned as him, and the other ponies were on the other side of the room, watching in silence. Discord thought his mind was slipping, so he opened his mouth to question if anybody saw anything, only to have been hit in the jaw, slamming his mouth shut. With a yelp, Discord swatted the air around him, clipping an invisible Church in the face. As Church tumbled on the ground, his red colored eyes changed back to normal and the cloaking spell he was using stopped working.

"Interesting. I have not seen somepony use a properly working cloaking spell in years, especially by one who has no experience with magic beyond messing up." Discord said bemusedly. "Though I suppose you have the Element of magic to thank for that, no?"

"Yeah, I guess I do!" Church muttered, launching himself off the ground, kicking Discord in the face before he could react. "And now I'm stronger than you are, and I'm not going to hold back."

"Enough of this fighting! I told you I could play dirty, and I will." Discord sputtered, rubbing his nose viciously.

"You aren't right now?" Church asked.

"Hah, no. Your mind is full of chaos, Church. Sweet, sweet chaos. And do you know what I do with chaos?" Discord asked in a low toned voice. "I manipulate it."

Church gasped as Discord vanished from the air and turned into a brownish mist before shooting into Church. Church rolled around on the ground screaming as Discord worked his way through Church's body and to his brain. Church let out a pained shudder as he floated off the floor like a puppet.

"It would have been so much simpler had I done this before." Church's mouth moved with Discord's voice coming out.

"Then that would have ruined the fun, right?" Church asked in his own voice.

"Now you're getting it." Discord nodded within Church's mind.

"Yeah, and you're about to too." Church laughed roughly, clenching his eyes shut as tightly as he could.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You fell for the oldest trick in the book." Sarge said, seeing what Church had done by the small smirk that sat at the corner of Church's mouth.

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Discord asked quickly, seeing a sad but satisfying smile on the red stallion's face.

"It's the reverse Trojan horse." Church said tightly, giving Sarge a quick nod. "I've been trapped in my own head for years, what made you think you could waltz in and just leave whenever you wanted?"

"What?" Discord asked again, this time with frustration over confusion.

"Do it." Church said to Twilight and the others, gritting his teeth as Discord slammed against the inside of Church's brain, threatening to drive him mad within the next minute..

"Do what?" Twilight asked, nervous now, seeing a strange intent in Church's eyes.

"You of all ponies should know, Twilight. It's really fucking obvious what I want you to do." Church said hurriedly, making it clear that what he wanted needed to be done fast. "I need you girls to take the Elements back and use them on me."

Peace at Last

"What?" Twilight asked, hoping she had heard Church wrong.

"I know you heard me, just do it." Church grunted against the pain of Discord yelling in his head. Glaring at the other girls out of pain, he nodded firmly at them. "Hurry, I'm not sure how long I can keep in in there."

"Right." The other five girls nodded, sprinting over to their respective Element holders.

"Twilight." Church said when he saw Twilight staring blankly at him. "You need to do it."

"I don't... I..." Twilight shook her head, slowly backing away from him. "I can't."

"You can, Twilight. I know you can." Church said, voice beginning to strain further. "You're the most understanding, strongest and smartest friend I've ever had. You know you need to do this, so stop wasting time and just get it over with."

"But... I can't trap one of my friends forever..." Twilight said sadly.

"You wouldn't be trapping him, Twilight. You would have been doing him a favor." Celestia piped, walking next to Church. "He is doing this not only for you, or for me-"

"I think it's obvious I'm not doing it for you." Church muttered.

"But also for himself." Celestia sighed at his remark. "Think of what you will be giving him, Twilight. You know after everything he has been through, everything he has done, that he deserves his rest."

"And I have to put my friends before myself." Twilight nodded glumly as she walked up to Church. "Okay, I'll do it."

"Thank you." Church nodded as Twilight closed her eyes and focused her magic on Church. Church glanced over to Celestia and raised a curious brow. "You knew about my plan, right? Because I sort of felt you weren't fighting back as much as you could have been."

"Yes, I did." Celestia said quietly, watching her student do what she did best.

"Tell me, were you one hundred percent sure that I was doing it to ruin his plans?"

"It was about fifty-fifty." Celestia replied honestly, not hiding a small smile.

"God, you're unbelievable." Church grunted.

"I thought I was wrong about your plans halfway through. I didn't expect you to hit that hard."

"I needed to make it convincing." Church chuckled, making it clear as he could that he enjoyed doing it greatly.

"I suppose you did." Celestia nodded, furrowing her brows in the slightest of ways.

"Okay, I think I got it." Twilight said quietly when she began to feel her tiara buzzing with magic. She then raised her head and opened her eyes to stare at Church. Not wanting to look at Church, feeling as if she did now she would never be able to do what she was about to do, she turned to the girls and cleared her throat. "Are you girls ready?"

"Yes, dear." Rarity said quietly when she felt the same magical buzz come out of her amulet.

"Ah think so." Applejack nodded promptly.

"Yes." Fluttershy said, eyeing Church seriously.

"Got it." Rainbow Dash nodded, zipping behind Twilight.

"Thanks for the Element, Texy!" Pinkie giggled, hopping towards the others that were gathering behind the Element of Magic.

Once the girls had lined up behind Twilight, she nodded at them. The five girls' amulets and Twilight's tiara soon began to glow and they all lifted off the ground, each one giving off a different different aura. The five amulets then sent a beam of light to the tiara on Twilight's head and it began crackling with energy. Twilight looked to Church as her eyes began to glow a strong white. Church gave her a reassuring smile and nodded at her, showing absolutely no ill-feelings or regrets for asking her to do this.

"I'll miss you." Twilight sobbed, before closing her eyes and kissing Church on the cheek. The contact surrounded Church in a thick rainbow and Twilight backed away sadly.

"I know." Church nodded when he became enveloped in the magic. Suddenly, the magic dissipated within an instant and Church glanced around, fearing that the spell had failed. He then glanced at his hooves and saw that they were slowly turning to hard stone. "Guess it'll be a minute or two until it's done..."

"Do you believe you can hold Discord in for that long?" Luna asked quietly, finally speaking out.

"I hope so, otherwise this would have been all for nothing." Church sighed.

"It wouldn't have been for nothing." Grif said quietly. "I mean, you are dying, which is what we all wanted, right?"

"I guess so." Church laughed roughly, looking at each of the Reds, wondering what he could say to them. "Reds. It was... interesting."

"It was a hell of a ride, Blue." Sarge nodded, Simmons and Grif standing behind him.

"To say the least." Church added weakly, shaking his head as he locked eyes with Tucker. "Tucker, I just want you to know that I hate you. I always have, I always will."

"Fuck you too." Tucker said sarcastically, sharing a quick smirk with Church. "I'll try and convince the Princess to put you off in the corner somewhere that way nobody will bother you and nobody will have to see your ugly mug."

"I expected less of you. Thanks." Church nodded.

"Church, don't go!" Caboose said quickly, jumping onto Church to hug him. "I do not want you to be pooped on."

"Caboose, I have to. If I don't, this guy will continue hurting others, even if he doesn't hurt them directly."

"I want to come with you!"

"What about Pinkie?" Church asked quietly. "She wants you to stay more than you want to go."

"But... you're my best friend." Caboose sniffled quietly.

"That's why I need you to stay." Church grunted as the stone froze his open wings. "Do you remember what you asked me to do for you when you died?"

"I died?" Caboose asked sadly as he jumped off of Church, then blinked after a few seconds of thinking. "Oh, right. No, I don't."

"I need you to return the favor you asked of me. I need you to look after her." Church said as he locked gazes with Twilight, then to Tex. "Both of them. Think you can do that for me?"

"I..." Caboose trailed off, then looked at the two mares, then back to Church and nodded.

"Thanks, buddy." Church smiled at him, then cringed as he felt the harmonious spell reach the base of his neck. With a sigh, he looked at the girls. "Girls. It's been fun. Just going to say this, if I ever said anything that offended you, I apologize. And... tell whoever knew the fragments something simple explaining how they can never come back, alright? Try to keep death out of it, though. I've already died a good amount of times, I don't think I need to go through that again nine times..."

Tex walked ahead of the other mares and went face to face with Church. She then leaned forward and gave him a peck on the lips as a tear rolled down her cheek. Church's eyes flickered as something clicked into place in his mind.

"What is it?" Tex asked, seeing a small smile spread across his cheeks.

"I figured it out." Church said with an extremely weakened laugh, finding it hard to speak now that his voice pipes were slowly being frozen. "I figured out why the Director made copies of him and Allison. I figured out why I was having so much trouble getting over you. It's not because he made me to figure out how to get you out of his head. He wanted to keep you, because he, I, loved you. I mean, yeah, we knew that all along, but he loved you enough that he wanted our love to last forever, not just as long as he lived. Me forgetting you wasn't the right thing to do. That was me trying to run away from my problems. But those weren't the three little words I was supposed to say. God, it really was obvious. So obvious that I was doing it all along, just not the way I was supposed to."

"What were they?" Tex asked quickly as Church's head began to turn a cold gray.

"I'll remember you." Church said as he became completely encased in stone, soft smile on his face.

The room became nothing but silence, staring at the frozen AI that looked as if it was finally at peace and the black mare that stood in front of him, head hanging, legs trembling. Caboose lifted his head and walked up to her and tapped her in the shoulder with his head. Tex glanced up to see Caboose looking at her. His blank expression made her chuckle under her breath, so she nodded at him and the pair made their way to the others.

"So." Tex said quietly as she walked next to Twilight.

"So." Twilight nodded.

"What do we do now?"

"I... don't know." Twilight said as she closed her eyes. "I guess we should clean this place up."

"Leave that to me." Celestia said comfortingly. "You need some rest. All of you."

"Does that mean we have to go home now?"

"No. This is your home now, should you choose to stay." Celestia smiled sadly. "I hope you do stay, though. You all seem to be nonviolent towards my little ponies, but you still could use a little help in the friendship department."

"Well?" Sarge asked, looking at Simmons and Grif.

"Y'know, we've probably seen more action with these ponies than we did in the army." Simmons said quietly.

"Depends on what you mean by action." Tucker smiled, but nobody even batted an eye at his joke.

"Yeah, but at least here I've gotten hit in the balls significantly less than usual." Grif said with a strange chuckle. He then glanced at Fluttershy and smiled. "That is, if you don't mind me crashing at your place."

"I guess you can..." Fluttershy nodded dimly.

"Hey, uh, Fluttershy?" Tex coughed, walking up to her. "Listen, I think I was a little off with Grif. I don't think he's just living with you to take advantage of you. He seems to actually be a nice guy."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Grif asked.

"A while ago I told her that the only reason you were nice to her was because she was letting you crash at her place and eat all her food."

"You are a bitch." Grif shook his head.

"I know. Sorry about that." Tex smirked impishly, then looked at Fluttershy.

"He can stay." Fluttershy smiled weakly, then looked at Twilight. "What about Tex? are you going to let her stay?"

"Of course I am." Twilight said instantly. "She has the choice to stay or to leave. I won't force her to do anything."

"Thanks." Tex nodded, then looked at the Princesses. "Put him somewhere, nice, okay?"

"Certainly." Celestia nodded, horn beginning to glow a soft gold. "I hope you all follow Church's example and get some well deserved rest. You all need it."

The mares and stallions then found themselves standing in front of the Ponyville Library, which seemed to have either been untouched by Discord's magic, or fixed by Celestia when she teleported them back.

"Well..." Applejack said quietly, rubbing the back of her neck. "Ah suppose ah should get back t' the farm and make sure everypony is okay."

"Yeah, see you guys later." Rainbow Dash said and the others nodded with her.

"We'll see each other when we see each other." Tex nodded and the others began walking home. Turning to walk inside and make sure Spike was okay, she saw that Twilight was still standing outside. "You coming?"

"Yeah." Twilight said quietly. She then looked at Canterlot tearfully and smiled at it, then turned around, walked inside and closed the door behind her.

Memory.

Memory is something many people take for granted these days, me especially. People think that memory is just something humans, ponies and thousands of other creatures use to store information. I guess that's sort of true, but what nobody realizes is just how much of a gift memory is. Sure, some people think that all remembering does is dig up old wounds and bring nothing but pain, but they don't understand is that pain is what makes you human. Only through pain can we understand what friendship and love really means to us. If everything was all good and well, we would never learn to appreciate what we have. Take the others for example. Even though they made my life a living hell, I can look back and smile at the stupid shit they've put me through and learn from it. Mourning over loss, thinking about all the things you'll never share, the time you'll never spend together. Those aren't what is important. What is important is that you remember the time you shared and cherish those memories forever.

Me?

My only regret is that I took so long to remember.

Prologue - "The Rescue"

"It was you Tex. All along. You see I thought- I thought we made you. The Director, the fragments... but that's not the case." Church said. "You made us. When the Alpha was created, you just kinda came along for the ride. You gave the Director the idea that he could make something more. That he could split the Alpha up. Don't you get it? You were the memory. You were the key. You were so strong, you made a whole other person. God... he always wanted to find you. To get you right. To just see you one last time. And he wanted me to be able to do the same... to find you in here or..."

Church then looked away from Tex and towards the sky.

"To find you in here or just go down another iteration, figure out this little Tex problem. Figure out how to do it right. But now I know... I know how to fix all of this. How to end it once and for all. It was so simple all along. I just had to tell you three words. Three words I wasn't capable of telling you before..." Church trailed off.

"Oh okay, wait a minute..." Tex said, interrupting Church. "Are you going to say 'I love you'?"

"No Tex. No. I'm not going to say I love you." Church sighed, trying as hard as he could to force the words out. "I'm going to say I forget you."

As Church uttered that phrase, the world started to shake and he closed his eyes, already filled with regret.

"I forget you." Church said again, looking to where Tex used to be standing. "I'm letting you go."

As the world continued to shake, Church gripped his gun harder and looked up.

"Okay world. Do your fucking worst." Church snarled. "Because I sure as hell just did mine."

"It's opening!" Caboose yelled at the top of his lungs. "It's working!"

"What the fuck was that?" Church asked while he was in the Epsilon unit, waiting for his destruction which he believed to be imminent.

"I see him!" Caboose continued yelling. "I see him, he's in there! He's okay!"

"Is that Caboose?" Sarge asked, looking up at the tear in space to see his enemies face.

"Is Caboose... god?" Simmons asked. "I mean, I can kind of see it now that I think about it. It sure would explain the fuck out of the platypus."

"Well that's just great. Caboose is god." Sarge mumbled. "I guess that makes me the first person in the history of the universe that doesn't want to go to heaven. Good job blue team... you find a way to make everything suck."

"What? Let me see moron. It's just a bunch of circuits." Said Sarge, appearing in the tear next to Caboose.

"Yeah but they're GLOWING! He's alive!" Caboose exclaimed.

"Um, Sarge?" Simmons asked nervously. "What are you doing up there?"

"What? Is that me? And more importantly, why am I talking with a blue?" Sarge asked.

Sarge then proceeded to yell, not realizing that they are in fact in the Epsilon unit.

"Attention enormous version of myself." Sarge said. "I order you to attack!"

"No... NO! The memory unit isn't dying. This isn't the end of the world." Church said, realizing that he had made a big mistake. "IT'S A FUCKING RESCUE MISSION! No!"

"Well, get him out of there!" Sarge ordered.

"No! No! Stop! Stop it! Leave me here!" Church yelled, without realizing that they could not hear him. Church soon found himself coming out of the epsilon unit. "No! Dammit! Why? Why did you do it?"

"Church! You're alive!" Caboose said ecstatically, happy his best friend is back. "Yeah, I knew it. Yeah, I told them that she was right. Yeah, we COULD get you out."

"Alright then, we're squared blue." Sarge said. "We helped you get your shiny blue buddy out so that makes us-"

"What are you doing here?" Church yelled.

"We saved you!" Caboose said. "We found you in the place where they were keeping you and we traveled a really, really long way to come to this place, and we followed a bunch of people, and then we followed a bunch of more people and then we got you and took you and saved you, the end!

"Why would you do that?" Church asked. "Why?

"Well clearly it wasn't to hear 'thank you'." Sarge commented dryly.

"Hey we're taking fire out here!" Yelled Grif from the other side of the wall.

"Thank you?" Church said sarcastically. "You fucked everything up! I was at peace. I had it figured out. It was OVER! Put me back."

"Put you back?" Sarge said with a small laugh. "Buddy, we just fought through an entire military base to reach you. And now you want to go back?"

"YES!" Church yelled, hoping that they would send him back in.

"She said we need you! She was the one who knew how to get you out." Caboose said.

"She? Who are you- who are you talking about?" Church asked, hoping he would be right with his guess. "Tex? The REAL Tex?"

"Tex?" Caboose asked himself. "No, no not Tex. The new lady."

"New lady?" Church asked, wondering who Caboose could be talking about.

The door near them opened and in walked a woman who Church was familiar with.

"Hey there Alpha. Been looking for you for a long time." Said the woman, walking up to Church.

"Oh no..." Church said, confirming his suspicions.

"Now that I've found you, you're going to help me with what I should have done years ago." She said, ignoring Church. You're going to help me kill the director."

"I'm not doing ANYTHING with you... Carolina" Church said.

"I don't think you have much of a choice on the matter." Carolina said.

"Hey! What if I want a turn in the machine?" Caboose asked, picking the Epsilon unit and waving it in the air.

"No wait! Caboose don't-" Church said, all but too late realizing that Caboose had already used the device on himself, transporting him into a place that is unknown to all of them, "do that... damn it."

"Small thing here." Sarge grunted. "But, I thought this watchamacallit only worked on AIs."

Church stared at the device and pondered this.

Is Caboose an AI? No, no AI's stand for artificial intelligence. Not artificial incompetence... Church thought to himself.

He then decided to stop worrying about HOW Caboose got in there, and to start worrying about how to get him OUT.

"No time for chit chat, we're going NOW!" Commanded Carolina.

"I'm not leaving without my..." Church let out a deep sigh. He never thought he would hear himself say the word he was about to say in the same sentence with Caboose. "I'm not leaving without my friend."

"Make it quick." Carolina said, glaring at Church. She then sighed, knowing he wouldn't budge without Caboose. "We might need a piece of meat to throw in case we come into any trouble."

"Deal." Church said, moving to the unit.

Inside the unit, Caboose appeared hundreds of miles in the air, way above land.

"Yaaaaay!" Caboose yelled as he went down, looking at all the colors and rainbows. "Look at all the beautiful colors! Hey there is even some blu-" Caboose started to yell, but was cut short due to him slamming into the ground at hundreds of miles per hour.

Chapter 10 - "Rainbow Gets Dashed"

"Dammit." Tucker muttered, covered with scrapes and bruises. "This sucks, do we have to do this right now?."

"If you want to sleep in an actual bed, then yes." Rainbow Dash stated haughtily, laying on a cloud with her arms behind her head. "But I heard the ground can be pretty comfy too."

"Lavernious Tucker does NOT sleep on the ground." Tucker yelled, shooting up into the air. "Hey I'm doing it!"

Tucker then grabbed onto the cloud and stopped flapping his wings before he got on.

"Fuck!" Tucker yelled in despair as he landed on his head and Rainbow Dash burst with laughter.

"You're pretty good at flying, you know that?" Rainbow Dash said, wiping a tear out of her eye.

"You could help me ya know." Tucker complained, getting up.

"Hey I just have to watch you. Celestia said nothing about helping." Rainbow Dash said with a smirk.

"This is my first day here, how the hell am I supposed to learn to fly in ten minutes?" Tucker yelled.

"Trust me, there's a LOT of things I could do in ten SECONDS flat." Rainbow Dash boasted.

"Same with me, they just usually involve women and a lot of moaning." Tucker said with a smirk.

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow and Tucker winked at her. Rainbow Dash then shook her head, understanding what he meant. "If you think you're getting any, you are going to be sorely disappointed."

"Oh now I understand. You're a butch aren't you?" Tucker said.

"Excuse me?" Rainbow Dash yelled with anger.

"You know what I mean. You obviously have a thing for ladies." Tucker said. "But don't worry about it, I find that stuff hot. Maybe we can even snag a menage a trois. Bow-chika-bow-w-"

Rainbow Dash snarled and jumped on the cloud, sending a lightning bolt which struck Tucker.

"Ow! What the fuck was that for?" Tucker asked, then got up. "Oh right. But hey, you aren't being any help so you will have to suffer through me." Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to object. "Princess’ orders." Tucker quickly interjected with a tight smirk.

Rainbow Dash glared and they both started to laugh.

"You know, you're an alright guy." Rainbow Dash said. "Aside from the whole idiot thing."

"I was about to say the same thing to you." Tucker said. "But replace idiot with bitch."

Rainbow Dash sighed and flew to the ground.

"Alright I was tired of waiting for you anyways." Rainbow Dash said. "Okay the first thing you need to do is focus. Without focus, you may as well just quit right now."

"Oh really? I thought the first step would be to make sweet, sweet love." Tucker said sarcastically.

"Focus." Rainbow Dash grunted, striking Tucker on the back of the head.

"Dammit, alright. I'm tired of getting hurt anyways." Tucker said, straightening up.

"Good. The second step is to start flapping your wings." Rainbow Dash explained.

"Oh really? That wasn't obvious." Tucker said.

"I could just fly away right now you know." Rainbow Dash said.

"Yeah." Tucker agreed, then winked at Rainbow Dash. "But you won't."

"Are you finally going to start listening and shut up?" Rainbow Dash said, smiling softly.

"Sure." Tucker said. "If you actually start giving me advice that will help."

"Fine." Rainbow Dash said, picking up Tucker and flying straight up in the air.

"Wait, what are you doing? Are you crazy?" Tucker yelled against the pressure of the wind.

"You want advice or not?" Rainbow Dash asked, stopping miles above the ground.

"Well, yeah." Tucker said.

"Here's your advice." Rainbow Dash yelled, dropping Tucker. "Fly."

"You're fucking kidding me!" Tucker yelled, falling down.

He judged the distance from the ground and he guessed he had roughly thirty seconds. He started to fall faster as he turned his body to a nose dive.

"This better fucking work!" He yelled, opening up his wings.

The quickly approaching ground started to grow with less speed as he pulled up from the dive and started travelling parallel to the ground. But his victory was short lived as he was now flying straight towards a tree. He flapped his wings once, with as much force as he could muster which allowed him to soar just out of harm’s way.

"Hey... I'm doing it!" Tucker yelled "You're going to eat it now Dash."

Tucker flipped on his side and forced his head up, which made him do a sharp turn, heading straight for Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash yelped, quickly turning around to fly away from Tucker. She flew as fast as she could for ten seconds and she turned around, expecting Tucker to have fallen behind. What she didn't know, however, was that Tucker had actually been moving faster than her. Tucker wrapped his legs around her and plummeted towards the ground.

"Got you!"

"That's what you think." Rainbow Dash smirked.

She then used all of her force to pull up from the downwards spiral and exerted so much pressure that Tucker felt as if he had just exploded forward, and when he looked behind him he could see a multicolored explosion, with a trail of rainbows leading right up to them.

"What are you doing?" Tucker asked.

"What?" Rainbow Dash yelled, throwing him off of her. "Afraid you can't keep up?"

"Nope." Tucker yelled smugly back at her. "I'm afraid you can't keep up with ME."

Tucker then pulsed forward, using an unknown source of energy and Rainbow heard a loud bang, much like the sound of thunder. She turned around and saw a trail of white light and electricity pushing Tucker towards her.

"You've got to be kidding me." Rainbow Dash said, jaw dropping.

She shook her head and pushed forward, trying to escape Tucker. She felt a small nip of electricity on her ankle and when she turned she saw Tucker holding onto it.

"Give up yet?" Tucker asked.

"Not quite." Rainbow Dash laughed.

Rainbow Dash then stopped abruptly and kicked her leg in front of her, using Tucker’s speed against him. Tucker realized this and got launched forward screaming. He then slammed into a tree upside down and slowly slid down. Rainbow Dash flew down to Tucker who was now on the ground.

"Feel like saying anything now?" Rainbow Dash laughed.

"No, not really. Nothing... other than I totally schooled you!"

"That's because I was going easy on you." Rainbow Dash said.

"So was I." Tucker retorted, getting up. "My back is fucking killing me though."

"Let's go back to my place now." Rainbow Dash said, lowering her hoof and Tucker grabbed it. "I think you've earned the right to sleep there."

"Oh yeah, time for some hot pony action." Tucker exclaimed.

Rainbow Dash blushed a little then shook it off and laughed. "Not quite. You can sleep in my bed, but that's because I don't have anywhere else for you to sleep. We aren't going to do anything."

"Aw, way to be a buzz kill." Tucker said with a smile. "Oh well, my balls still probably haven't healed yet anyways."

"Quit being a cry baby and let's go." Rainbow Dash said, flying away, closely followed by Tucker.

Chapter 19 - "Common Ground"

"I'm listening." Spike said, not looking at Church.

"I know you like Rarity." Church said quietly after a short silence. "Don't try to deny it."

"Was it that obvious?" Spike sighed, shoulders sagging.

"I just know what love looks like." Church said.

"Really? Have you had a crush on a girl for two years? Have you not able to tell said girl that you have loved for two years how you truly feel?" Spike asked, tears trickling down his face.

"Try nearly a decade."

"A decade?" Spike repeated quietly.

"Yeah. A decade." Church said. "Now tell me, how does Rarity treat you?"

"She treats me divinely." Spike said, heart beating faster. "When I'm around her I feel as if nothing else matters in the world."

"Then you have absolutely nothing to be sad about. Do you want to know how the girl I love treats me?"

Spike thought for a second and then nodded.

"She constantly tries to find ways to hurt me, she is always berating and insulting me, she treats me as if I am nothing. And you want to know what makes it worse? She knows that I still love her, even after all that, and it gives her that much more pleasure in my pain."

Spike looked down at the ground.

"The difference between you and me is that Rarity cares about you. Be it as a friend or something more, I do not know." Church said. "Now ask yourself. Do you really want to ruin what you have? Would you really hate Simmons, even if he makes Rarity happy?"

Spike looked at Church, smiling lightly. "No. That's all I want for her." Spike said, wiping the tears off of his face. "I just want her to be happy."

"And if you truly love someone, don't you think you should let them be with whomever makes them happy?"

"I guess so."

"Listen, Spike. I know you probably still hate me, and I understand that." Simmons said. "I just want you to know that that kiss didn't mean anything. Not to Rarity, and not to me. She was just thanking me for helping her around the boutique."

"Oh." Spike said. "I guess I made a rear end out of myself, huh?"

"Kind of." Simmons said, laughing slightly.

Church glared at Simmons. But then started to laugh, soon to be joined in by Spike.

"Sorry for acting that way." Spike said, no longer laughing. "It's just... back at Twilight’s place, when I came downstairs and saw you with her, I thought you were going to replace me as her assistant, and when I saw Rarity kiss Simmons, I thought I was being replaced there too."

"Don't worry about it." Church said. "Now lets say we go back?"

"Sure. Thanks for doing this."

"No problem. I guess we have more in common than we originally had thought."

"Yeah." Spike said quietly. "Simmons, do you mind not saying anything to Rarity?"

"You didn't even have to ask." Simmons said.

"You guys are alright."

"You're not a bad guy yourself, Spike." Church said.

Simmons, Church and Spike then made their way back to the boutique and opened the door.

"Spike!" Twilight yelled, running up to Spike to hug him. "I was so worried. Why did you storm out? Are you alright?"

"I'm alright now." Spike said, looking back at Church and Simmons. "Sorry about worrying you."

Spike then looked at Rarity and started smiling. She then looked him in the eyes and smiled back.

"So how did you like the pieces Twilight?" Simmons asked.

"I think they look fabulous." Twilight said. "It may even be her best work yet."

"Thank you Twilight." Rarity said. "Simmons helped me greatly while making these."

"That's great." Twilight said, smiling at Simmons.

"All I did was stand there." Simmons said, crimson deepening the red of his cheeks.

"You're too modest. Now I have two days until they come to pick it up, and I have no further orders coming in."

"That's good." Twilight said. "Should we go see what the others are up to?"

"Sounds good to me." Church said. "Where do you think they are?"

"Something tells me I know where Grif will be." Simmons said.

"Really?" Twilight asked. "And where would that be."

"Sleeping at Fluttershy’s place." Simmons laughed.

"Well, let's go then." Rarity said, walking towards the door.

They soon made their way out of the Carousel Boutique and started making their way towards Fluttershy’s cottage, where Fluttershy and Grif were just returning from the market.

"I wonder what came over me..." Grif muttered.

"Whatever do you mean?" Fluttershy asked.

"I worked harder today than I ever have in my entire life." Grif said. "It's going to take a whole lot of doing nothing to bring my average back down."

"Isn't working hard a good thing?" Fluttershy asked. Grif looked at Fluttershy and she started to laugh.

"Now you're getting it." Grif said, patting Fluttershy on the back. "The reason I don't do much is because then I start getting everybody to think that I work hard, and the more people think I work hard, the more things they try and tell me to do. By doing nothing, nobody asks me to do anything because they know I won't do it anyways."

"You're just a lazy colt, aren't you Grif?" Fluttershy asked, shaking her head.

"Damn straight, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Grif said with a smile.

Grif then jumped on the couch and Haley jumped onto it next to Grif’s legs. At that moment, the others arrived at the door and knocked. Fluttershy went and opened it.

"Oh, hello. What are you guys doing here?" Fluttershy asked.

"We came to see what you guys are up to." Twilight said.

"Oh, well me and Grif just got back from the market. He helped me with some animal food."

Simmons and Church looked at Grif.

"You're kidding, right?" Church asked.

"Yeah, you really expect us to believe that Grif has done something productive?" Simmons asked.

Fluttershy turned and looked at Grif, who gave her a small wink.

Chapter 24 - "Everfree"

Grif was awakened by Fluttershy, who was tapping on his shoulder lightly. He grunted and rolled off the couch slowly. Haley jumped down after him and they both stretched. After a couple seconds of Fluttershy staring awkwardly at Grif, he spoke up. "Uh, any reason you woke me up so early?"

"It's not early. It's one in the afternoon..." Fluttershy said quietly.

"What?" Grif said with a chuckle. "That's earlier than I thought it was."

Fluttershy looked at Grif and smiled and he let out a small sigh. "Alright, I'll bite." Grif grunted. "What's up?"

"Pinkie Pie wanted me to stop by her place." Fluttershy said. "So I was wondering if you would be able to, you know, look after some bunnies..."

Grif stared at her silently.

"Is it a lot of work?" Grif asked simply.

"Oh, it's none at all." Fluttershy said happily. "You just have to sit under a tree and make sure they don't run off."

"I guess I could do that." Grif said.

Fluttershy walked out the door to her yard and Grif followed her obediently. He looked out at the half dozen bunnies, running around and playing. He then saw two trees side by side and he sat down with his back on one of them.

"There really aren’t that many of them so they shouldn't give you any trouble at all." Fluttershy said.

"So there really is nothing else to it?" Grif asked after sitting for a couple seconds

"As long as you keep your eye on them, then it’s the easiest thing in the world." Fluttershy said.

"Okay, cool."

Fluttershy gave Grif a quick hug.

"Thank you." Fluttershy said, turning away. "I'll be back soon."

"No problem." Grif said, letting out a slight yawn.

As Fluttershy left the area, Grif gazed lazily at the six bunnies as Haley curled up next to him. He watched them for a couple minutes before his eyes felt heavy. He let them shut, intending to rest his eyes for a couple minutes, but when he opened them he felt a lot more awake. He looked at the sun, which was further down than he remembered. His eyes then snapped open and looked around.

"Fuck." Grif yelled. "Where the hell did they go?"

Grif jumped up and ran around the yard until he saw a couple of bunnies sleeping behind the tree where he was sleeping. Grif let out a wry smile and went to check on the animals. He sighed as he had counted that all five of the bunnies were there. Then he realized that there used to be six.

"I have to go find it, don't I?" Grif asked Haley.

Haley started wagging her tail and barked.

"Hey, you're a dog right? Think you could sniff it out?" Grif asked.

Haley barked and started to sniff the air. She then started walking away from the house. Grif groaned gathered the bunnies into Fluttershy’s home so they would not run away as well. When they were all inside he made his way to Haley, who was sniffing the ground and slowly walking ahead.

"I'm starting to really hate this place." Grif muttered.

Haley’s ears then perked up and she started to run. Grif started to run with her and they soon found their way at an entrance to a large forest.

"You mean it went in there?" Grif asked. "Fuck that shit."

Grif turned around and started to make his way back to his spot. He then stopped and sighed, assuming Fluttershy would be devastated if one of them was gone.

"Son of a bitch. At least I can hope that it didn't go too far." Grif muttered. "But I just know that the world hates me too much to let that be the case."

Grif walked forward with Haley, who was still on the bunny’s trail. Grif then saw something jump into a bush that was in front of him. He smiled and started to walk over to it, but fell flat on his chest as a searing pain shot across his back.

"Fuck, my back." Grif groaned.

Grif got up and looked around. He couldn't see anything but had a feeling something was watching him. He slowly made his way over so he could look in the bush. There was a snap behind him and he spun around quickly. He focused on the spot where he had heard the sound come from. It was hard to make out what it was, but his eyes quickly adjusted and he noticed that it was a wolf. But there was something off about it. It then walked into a spot of sunlight and Grif was able to identify what made it look unnatural.

"Why the fuck is that thing made out of wood?" Grif said shakily to himself.

The bunny then jumped out and started hopping away. The wolf then lost all focus of Grif and started to chase after it. Haley then barked and started to run after the wolf, tail wagging. Grif grudgingly chased after Haley.

"Why the fuck am I doing this?" Grif muttered, not turning back.

Grif made his way through the trees and soon found Haley standing next to a tree, head lowered. He walked up next to her and looked at where she was looking. The bunnies foot was stuck in the ground and it was surrounded by a some wolves. Grif looked at the ground.

"So either I turn back and go to sleep, or I go in and probably die." Grif thought to himself. "Decisions, decisions."

One of the wolves then took a step towards the bunny, but soon found itself launched to the ground by Grif.

"This was a bad idea." Grif said to himself.

Grif ran to the bunny and took it out of the ground and tossed it over the wolves into a bush. Instead of giving chase again, the wolves looked over at Grif, hunger in their eyes. The largest wolf then howled and started to close in on Grif.

"This was a horrible fucking idea." Grif yelled.

The Fourth Crusader

Simmons was pacing back and forth, stopping every so often to glare at his cutie mark. "What? That's my special talent?" Simmons yelled.

"What is the problem with it?" Rarity asked.

"If any of the guys see this I will be a laughing stock." Simmons moaned.

"I for one think it looks magnificent." Rarity said. "What did you think your talent would be?"

"I assumed mine would be something... I don't know... good." Simmons said. "A needle and thread isn't exactly my definition of masculine."

"I think that it describes you pretty well." Rarity said.

"How do you figure?" Simmons asked.

"Well for one, it shows that you have class." Rarity said. "Making garments is also a lot of hard work and requires you to think ahead. Most people can't handle that sort of workload."

"Well when you put it that way..." Simmons said with a smile, then shook it off. "But if Sarge sees it I'll never hear the end of it..."

"Do you really look up to him that much?" Rarity asked.

"Well, not really." Simmons said. "It's just that he is my superior so I have to respect him."

"He may have been your superior back where you came from, but here you two are equal." Rarity said.

"Hey yeah!" Simmons said happily. "You're right."

"Simmons, I just want to apologize for yelling back there." Rarity said sincerely. "I thought you ruined the suit, but it turns out you very well may have saved it."

"Don't worry about it, I shouldn't have done that without running it by you first." Simmons said.

Rarity looked in to Simmons’ eyes and smiled.

"Say Simmons? You wouldn't be interested in..." Rarity started. "Never mind."

"Interested in what?" Simmons asked, his curiosity aroused.

"I was just curious if you would care to be hired here." Rarity said. "I could use somepony like you who could help around here."

Simmons stared at her blankly until he grasped what she had said. "No. I mean, I don't know... we will have to go back to our world soon. I don't want to have a job just to be sent back right away."

"Do you have to leave though?" Rarity asked. "What is stopping you from staying?"

Simmons hadn’t thought of this. He was under the impression that he and the others would only be here briefly, and once they received their cutie marks they would be on their way. So in response he just shrugged. Rarity frowned slightly, noticing the tickets just off to the side.

"Well, the offer is still open if you do decide stay." Rarity said. "I hope you are still available to go see the Wonderbolts though."

"I think I might have some spare time." Simmons said.

"Good." Rarity said, smiling at Simmons who was smiling in return. "But you may need something to wear when we go. After all we want you to look your best if Westhoof is going to be introducing us to other important ponies."

"Sounds good." Simmons said with a smile.

"Shall we get started?" Rarity asked.

"I'd love to. Maybe I can help as well. After all, it is my talent." Rarity and Simmons shared a smile and walked upstairs to start on Simmons suit.

Over at Sweet Apple Acres, Sarge was laying under a tree, watching Winona run after a ball that Applejack kept throwing. "There he is girls." Applebloom’s voice called out.

Sarge glanced over to see Applebloom running up to him, closely followed by two other fillies. He sat up and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Uh, can I help you?" Sarge asked.

"You're right Applebloom, he does kinda talk like your sis." The white filly said.

"Woah, nice cutie mark." The orange pony with purple mane said.

Sarge cringed when she said cutie mark. He was really starting to hate that name.

"Thanks." Sarge grunted.

"He seems grumpy." The white filly said.

"He just doesn't like it when people call it a cutie mark." Applebloom said.

"Who are your friends?" Sarge asked.

"My name is Sweetie Belle." The white filly said.

"I'm Scootaloo." The orange one said.

"And together we're..." Applebloom started.

"The Cutie Mark Crusaders!" They all chanted in unison.

Sarge burst out with laughter and the girls looked at him.

"What's so funny?" Scootaloo asked.

"That is the stupidest name I have ever heard." Sarge said, wiping a tear out from his eye. "And I've heard Grif, so that is saying something."

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo glared at him. "I thought you said Sarge was nice." Scootaloo whispered to Applebloom.

"Yeah, he seems like a big meanie to me." Sweetie Belle agreed.

"Sorry, no offense was meant." Sarge grunted.

"Well... at least he apologized." Sweetie Belle said.

"Well, you must be here for a reason." Sarge said. "What can I do for you?"

"Is it true how you got your cutie mark?" Scootaloo asked, kicking her back hooves into the air.

Sarge smiled at the orange filly, he liked her attitude. "You heard about that, huh?" Sarge chuckled.

"All of Ponyville is talking about it." Sweetie Belle added.

"Well, it's good to see I'm building a good reputation here." Sarge said.

"Yeah, that guy is so embarrassed that he hasn't left his house since you kicked him." Scootaloo said.

"Yeah, well, if he hadn't been an ass, that wouldn't have happened in the first place." Sarge said, leaning back on the tree.

"Anyways, we were just wonderin' if you could do us a favor." Applebloom said.

"Oh?" Sarge laughed. "And what would that be?"

"Well, we're always tryin' ta find ways to get our cutie marks..." Applebloom said. "But we never have any luck and always end up embarrassing ourselves..."

"So what does that have to do with me?" Sarge asked.

"You got your mark in no time so, well... we were just wondering if you could..." Sweetie Belle started.

"We're wondering if you could help us find our cutie marks." Scootaloo said simply.

Sarge looked at the girls who were staring at him intently. He let out a long sigh.

"I don't know..." Sarge said, to which the girls started frowning. "I guess I could give it a shot." The girls muzzles broke into huge grins. "On two conditions."

"That depends what they are." Scootaloo said.

"One: you let me join your little group." The girls huddled in a circle and started whispering. They all then broke off and nodded in unison. "And two: you never let Grif join the group." Sarge said with a smile, putting his hoof forward.

"Deal." The girls all said at once, all placing their hooves over his.

Mistakes

"That was amazingly done." Flint said, walking up to Tucker.

"Uh, thanks." Tucker said, who was now starting to feel the pain of the kick. "Who are you exactly?"

"My name is Flint Westhoof. But you can call me Flint." Flint said, extending his hoof to Tucker. "That was remarkable. How much time did you spend practicing that?"

"None. I kind of just made it up on the spot." Tucker said.

"I find that hard to believe." Flint said.

"It's true, Tucker has never led me to believe that he ever thinks ahead on anything." Simmons said.

"Thanks Simmons." Tucker said sarcastically.

"That makes it even more impressive." Flint chuckled.

"Thanks, I guess." Tucker said.

"Tucker, I am in awe. That was beautifully done." Rarity said.

"Glad you liked it." Tucker laughed.

Rainbow Dash then walked up to Tucker and punched him in the shoulder. "Come on Rarity, don't make Tucker's ego any bigger. He might end up being too heavy to stand on the clouds." Rainbow Dash said.

"I don't think it can get any bigger than it already is." Simmons chuckled.

Tucker glared at Simmons but started to laugh. He then turned to Rainbow Dash and winked.

"You're just jealous because you didn't think of making a tornainbow." Tucker said.

"Right, because I want to think like an idiot and come up with stupid names for things." Rainbow Dash said with a smile.

"Pft, say what you want, I know you're impressed." Tucker said.

"Well maybe just a little bit." Rainbow Dash said.

"What is in the envelope?" Rarity asked.

"Nothing." Rainbow Dash said, tucking the envelope under her wing. "Nothing at all."

Rarity looked at Simmons and they both shared a shrug. Simmons then looked at Tucker and started to smile.

"What are you smiling about?" Tucker asked.

"Look." Simmons said simply.

Tucker looked at his flank and saw that he had gained his mark. It was a double helix, one strand being a lightning bolt, the other being a rainbow, and at the top the two strand met and a green star was at the top. "Sweet." Tucker said emphatically.

"Looking good Tucker." Rainbow Dash said.

"Aren't I always?" Tucker asked sweetly.

"Maybe when you're on your own, but when you're with me I make you look terrible." Rainbow Dash said.

"Very funny." Tucker muttered.

"Do you have any plans?" Flint asked.

"Sorry man, I don't swing that way." Tucker said flatly.

"You misunderstand. I simply wanted to invite you all to lunch, my treat." Flint said.

"That sounds like a marvelous idea." Rarity said.

"Sounds good to me." Simmons said.

"I could eat." Tucker said. He then turned to Rainbow Dash and waited for an answer.

"Sure why not." Rainbow Dash said. "It's not like I have anything better to do."

"Excellent!" Flint said. "Come with me, I know the finest restaurant in all of Equestria."

The group then shared a nod and they all started to make their way out of the Cloudaseum. Flint then led them all to a large balloon in which they all entered. They chatted for an hour until the balloon landed in front of Canterlot.

"Follow me, it is just a short walk from here." Flint said.

"Okay." Simmons said.

They all followed Flint away from the balloon. After a few minutes they stood in front of a large building with six stars sitting on top of it. "Is this where I think it is?" Rarity asked giddily.

"Yes indeed. Luxor Palace, the most expensive restaurant in all of Equestria." Flint said. He then turned to the others and raised his brow. "Shall we?"

Flint then led the group inside, where they were shown to the restaurant’s finest table. Tucker opened the menu and skimmed through it and noticed something.

They really don't eat meat here, do they? Tucker thought to himself.

The waiter soon arrived and took their orders and hastily left to the kitchen. It took just a few minutes for the waiter to come out with all their dishes and he apologized for the wait.

"I think I like this place already." Simmons said, taking a few bites out of his food.

"Yeah, it's just fantastic." Tucker said, looking at his dish. It wasn't any meat, but that didn't stop it from looking delicious.

"Thank you very much for the meal Flint." Rarity said. "I would say this has been a fantastic day."

"Not at all." Flint replied gladly.

Once they all finished their food, Flint paid the bill and they all made their way out of the restaurant.

"I apologize for this, but do you think you could make it home from here?" Flint asked.

"I think we can manage." Simmons said.

"Good. I hope you all have a fine evening." Flint said. He then bowed and started to trot away.

"Rarity, you and Simmons go on ahead, I need to talk to Tucker." Rainbow Dash said.

"Of course Rainbow Dash. Come Simmons, I simply must show you around." Rarity said.

Rarity and Simmons then left the pair alone and Rainbow Dash sighed.

"What's up?" Tucker asked.

Rainbow Dash looked at the envelope and back to Tucker. She then walked up to him and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you." Rainbow Dash said quietly.

"No problem, it's what I do." Tucker said.

"I'm serious Tucker." Rainbow Dash chuckled. "I'm glad that you did what you did. I don't think I can ever repay you..."

"I can think of one way." Tucker said, raising his eyebrow.

Rainbow Dash shook her head with a crooked smile. "You're really a dog with a bone, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but with a different kind of bone. Bow chicka bow wow." Tucker said, a smile plastered across his muzzle.

Rainbow Dash gazed deeply into Tucker’s eyes and smiled. "What's on your mind?" Tucker asked.

"Well, it's just that... Celestia how do I say this?" Rainbow Dash said quietly, rubbing the back of her neck. "I think I love you."

"What's not to love?" Tucker asked with a smile.

Rainbow Dash smirked and hit him in his shoulder.

"So do you have anything to say?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yeah, what's for dessert?" Tucker asked.

"I mean do you have anything to say about me?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Hmm. Well I have to say that you are pretty hot." Tucker said.

Rainbow Dash turned to Tucker and stared at him seriously.

"Anything else?" Rainbow Dash asked, her voice gaining an icy tone.

"Uh, I like your mane?" Tucker said awkwardly.

"Are you afraid of saying love or something?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, love is a strong word Dash." Tucker said with an awkward laugh.

Rainbow Dash then pushed herself away, staring past Tucker. "What do you mean?" Rainbow Dash asked seriously.

"Well, I mean I've only been here for a couple weeks." Tucker said. "And I do like you, it's just-"

"I can't believe that I actually thought that I liked you." Rainbow Dash yelled, voice cracking.

"Rainbow Dash-" Tucker started.

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say. And I never want to see you near my place again!" Rainbow Dash yelled, angry tears starting to trickle down her cheeks.

Tucker opened his mouth to talk but Rainbow Dash already started to fly away, leaving Tucker all alone. "I really fucked up this time, didn't I?" Tucker muttered to himself.

Blackmailed

Applejack came out of her room to see Sarge chuckling as Twilight made her way down the stairs.

"What were ya talkin' ta Twilight about?"

"Nothing." Sarge said.

"Sarge d'ya mind if we have a lil talk?"

"Sure. You admitting defeat in our little competition?"

"Ya hafta be not right in the head if ya think I'd give up that easily." Applejack laughed. "Ah was just wonderin' if ya would like to come to a weddin'. Sarge fell to the ground and burst out with laughter. "What's so funny 'bout it?" Applejack asked.

"Did you just ask me to go to a wedding?" Sarge said through the laughter.

"Yeah, ah did."

"And you want me to go to this wedding... with the blues?"

"Yes." Applejack grunted.

"Hold that thought." Sarge said, stifling his laughter. He walked out of the room and into the hallway and burst out with laughter for a second time.

"If ya don't go ah'm afraid that that means ya chickened out n' ah'll get another point in our lil competition." Applejack called out smugly, stopping Sarge's laughter completely.

"I'm not afraid to go." Sarge muttered as he walked back in to the room.

"Ya gunna prove it, or ya just gunna be all talk?" Applejack asked with a smirk.

"Well played." Sarge grunted. "I'm sure as hell not going to give up that easily."

"Ah knew ya wouldn't. Now let's git on down to Rarity's store so we kin getcha a suitable, er, suit."

"You want me to wear a damned monkey suit?" Sarge laughed. "What’s next? Do you want me to treat the blues with respect too?"

"Ah do."

Sarge stared at Applejack silently. "Torture doesn't seem to be one of your pastimes, so why do you want me to go to this wedding?"

"Twilight is mah friend. Ah wanna support Twilight as well as her family."

"Doesn't explain why I have to go..." Sarge grunted

"Ya mean besides the fact that ah'd git a point?" Applejack laughed. "Ya never know. Ya could end up havin' some fun."

"Right. Why can't that Rarity pony just free ball the suit? Isn't she a professional or something?"

"Yeah, she is. Twilight told me that Rarity requested you to come personally. Somethin' 'bout ya havin' a different build than the others or somethin' along those lines."

Sarge mumbled as he thought through his options. On one side he would lose a point because he didn't go. On the other side he would have to wear a suit and be nice to the blues. He shuddered at that final thought and let out a disgruntled sigh.

"Well? What's it gunna be?" Applejack asked.

"It's a lose lose situation for me, isn't it?" Sarge muttered. "Fine, let's just get it over with."

"Glad t' hear it." Applejack smiled as she walked to the door.

Applejack led a reluctant Sarge to the Carousel Boutique, simply walking in once they arrived. "Rarity, are ya in here?" Applejack called out.

"Yes Applejack dear, did you bring Sarge like I asked?' Rarity asked as she emerged from her room.

"Yea, ah did."

"Excellent, come this way Sarge, and Simmons will take your measurements. Applejack you may stay down here on the couch as there is really not much more room up there but we will call you when Sarge is finished."

Applejack and Sarge both nodded as Applejack went to sit down on the couch. Sarge went in to Rarity's room where Simmons was standing next to a small stand.

"Hey Sarge." Simmons greeted.

"Simmons." Sarge nodded.

"Sarge if you wouldn't mind stepping on the stand next to Simmons we can get started." Rarity said as she grabbed some black hoof-finished wool.

"How long is this going to take?" Sarge asked as he stepped onto the stand.

"Just a couple of hours. Your build is far larger than most stallions that I have made suits for, so it may take a bit longer than usual."

"So I have to stand still for a couple hours?" Sarge asked flatly.

"Simmons will hold you in place using magic so you do not get tired." Rarity explained as she went to another table to grab a needle.

"What will I during that time? Stare at a wall?" Sarge laughed.

"Sarge why don't you use this time to think of more demeaning things to say to Grif?" Simmons asked as he started measuring Sarge.

"Good thinking Simmons." Sarge replied with a chuckle. "Alright. Demeaning, demeaning. How about Grif you're a lazy son of a bitch and I think you'd look better ten feet under?"

"That is a good one Sarge." Simmons said.

"Are we done yet?"

"I'm not even done measuring you yet." Simmons said quietly.

"Great! More time to think of things to say to Grif!" Sarge laughed.

Sarge continued rambling about Grif being an idiot as Rarity set to work on the suit and Simmons started to hold Sarge in place. Over the next two hours, Rarity got a new appreciation for the contempt which Sarge held for Grif. The amount of one-liners he came up with was astounding, though very few of them were actually all that impressive.

"...you are so stupid that you make me feel dumber by just being near you! How about that one?"

"Another good one Sarge." Simmons said.

"Aaaand... done." Rarity said, backing away from Sarge. "Go get Applejack and I will get the mirror."

Simmons nodded and brought Applejack up to the room where Sarge was standing in his newly-made black suit.

"Lookin' good Sarge." Applejack laughed.

Rarity pushed a mirror in front of Sarge and he smiled tightly.

"I am, aren't I?" Sarge chuckled as he looked himself over in the mirror. "But us reds look good in anything, so that's not much of a surprise."

"Donut would have said the same sir." Simmons said.

"Yeah he would have, wouldn't he?" Sarge grunted.

"So how will you be paying for this?" Rarity asked.

"Uh, what do y-"

"I am just joking." Rarity said. "The suit is free of charge."

"That's awfully generous of you." Sarge said.

"It's just who I am darling. Now if you take off the suit I will stow it away so it does not get ripped."

Sarge nodded and freed himself from the suit. They said their goodbyes and Sarge and Applejack made their way back to the farm.

"So how'dya like the suit?" Applejack asked.

"It's good I guess." Sarge grunted. "I'm just glad I have more material to use on Grif."

Staring Contest

Sarge ran to the sink and started scrubbing his tongue as Grif continued laughing on the floor.

"You two ain't right in th' head, y'know that?" Applejack asked.

"I've been saying that for years." Church said from the doorway.

"Howdy Church." Applejack said, tipping her hat ever so slightly.

"Hey." Church said. He looked between Grif and Sarge a few times before turning to Applejack and giving her an inquisitive look.

"Long story." Applejack chuckled dryly. "What kin ah do fer ya?"

"Twilight wanted me to get you for some reason."

"She didn't tell ya wha’?"

"No, but everybody has secrets and I can respect that."

"Gimme a sec t' talk t' these two."

"Take all the time you need." Church said, stepping back outside.

"Your name is Church, right?" A small voice came from below Church.

Church looked down to see the trio of fillies staring at him.

"Yeah, why?" Church asked.

"Sarge has told us a lot about you." Sweetie Belle said.

"Fascinating." Church said sarcastically.

"Hey... ya don't have yer cutie mark neither!" Applebloom said.

"Your point?" Church asked.

"Well it's just that all th' others have 'em, but you're the only one without it. Other ponies must think ya look weird."

"Again... your point?"

"You don't care?" Scootaloo asked.

"No, why should I?" Church scoffed. "As far as I'm concerned I already know who I am, I don't need any tattoo on my ass to tell me who I am."

"But... you're not sad that you don't know what your special talent is?"

"Not at all. I'm perfectly fine with just having people that I can talk to rather than people that are trying to hurt me." Church chuckled. "Having a need to find out who you are just so you look better in the eyes of others who you don't even know is... well kind of shallow to be honest. You should just be happy with your friends because in the end they're the only people you can count on."

The girls looked at each other as the door opened and Applejack came out.

"You ready to go?" Church asked.

"Yeah." Applejack said. She put her head through the door and looked at Sarge and Grif. "Now play nice with each other."

"Where's the fun in that?" Sarge muttered.

Applejack rolled her eyes as Sarge and Grif made their way past Church.

"Where are they going?"

"Well ah'd say they're in a time out fer now. Grif made Sarge angry and now Sarge has t' bring Grif home without, well killin' him ah guess."

"Aiming a little high, aren't we?" Church laughed.

"Pretty much, let's git goin'." Applejack said, closing the door behind her and nodded. Applejack and Church had started towards the library as the girls ran off. "What were ya talkin' t' the girls about if ya don't mind me askin'?"

"They brought up how I'm the only one of us guys without a cutie mark and they also asked if others find it weird."

"Sorry 'bout that, I'll tell 'em t' mind their own busines-"

"No harm was done so I see no point in it." Church shrugged.

"What'd ya say in return then?"

"I told them the truth."

"Truth?" Applejack echoed.

"I told them that they shouldn't care how others see them. The only thing you should care about is how your friends perceive you."

"That's quite some insightful advice there Church."

"I try." Church said. "So, do you think those two will make it back alright."

"Celestia as mah witness, ah'd be lyin' if ah told ya ah thought they would make it twenty paces."

"So how do you put up with Sarge anyways?" Church asked after a few minutes.

"There ain't much t' put up with. He's helpful, has a strong back, he's a heck of a competitor..."

"Right that whole tournament thing. How is that going?"

"We're tied at two n' two. I reckon it'll be a big one to figure out who wins."

"Well I hope to be there to see you drive his face into the ground." Church chuckled.

"Speakin' of face hurtin', I wonder how Grif and Sarge are farin'." Applejack said.

Fluttershy was napping on the couch when she heard a knock on the door. She opened it and looked outside and saw Sarge looking at the ground with a smirk. She looked down to where Sarge was looking and saw Grif crawling on the ground with a black eye and feathers torn out of his wings.

"Grif what happened?" Fluttershy gasped, helping him up to his feet.

"Pissed... Sarge off." Grif coughed, spitting up a little blood. "Totally... worth it."

Sarge punched Grif in the side of the head. Fluttershy gave Sarge a look of anger and Sarge felt a wave of unease course through his body.

"How dare you?" Fluttershy snapped.

"Wha-" Sarge started.

"What did Grif do to you that would make you do that to him?" Fluttershy asked.

"Well he-"

"No." Fluttershy interrupted violently. "There is nothing he could have done that could be so bad that you needed to hurt him this much!"

"He went out of his way t-"

"I do not want to hear excuses. I would appreciate if you leave before I'm forced to do something we'll all regret."

"I am not afraid of you." Sarge said boldly.

Fluttershy's eyes shot wide as she glared at Sarge. Sarge sank to the ground and started to shake. Grif watched silently, not because he was enjoying it, but because he was starting to grow scared.

"Okay, I get it, just stop with that damn stare." Sarge sputtered.

"Leave." Fluttershy said simply.

Sarge said nothing, but turned tail and fled for Sweet Apple Acres. Fluttershy smiled and walked happily back inside. Grif watched in disbelief as Sarge ran away.

"Are you coming in Grif?" Fluttershy asked sweetly.

Grif shook the fear off and smiled.

"Just when I thought this day couldn't get any better, you go and do that." Grif laughed as he hugged Fluttershy playfully. "That was fucking hilarious."

"Oh, t-thank you." Fluttershy blushed. She remembered the condition Grif was in and looked him over. "I think I may need to treat your cuts and bruises..."

"That's what tomorrow is for." Grif dismissed casually. "Today is still your day off."

Fluttershy smiled and nodded as they made their way to the back yard together.

Froggy Bottom Bog

"Church! Do you remember the bear?" Caboose asked excitedly as they slowly walked down the mountain.

''Yes Caboose, I remember the bear." Church groaned as he rubbed the side of his head.

"Do you remember how I wanted to hug it?"

"Yes Caboose..."

"And then I walked up to it but then you used your thingy and I went woosh!"

"I know that looked like fun!" Derpy laughed. "Ooh Church, can you throw me in to the air?"

"You want me... to throw you?" Church asked.

"Yeah it looks like fun!"

"You're kidding, right?"

"Nope!"

Church looked over to Twilight who nodded hesitantly.

"I could end up hurting you..."

"Geez, you really are a worrywart."

"Fine, you asked for it." Church muttered.

Derpy got surrounded by a shimmering blue mist and suddenly propelled upwards. At the height of the launch, Derpy opened her wings and started to slowly glide throughout the sky.

"I wish I could fly." Caboose said sadly.

"I can help with that!" Derpy said, swooping down and grabbing Caboose.

"This is amazing!" Caboose yelled as Derpy flew him through the air.

"I want to do that too!" Pinkie yelled.

"Hang on." Derpy said as she swooped down, allowing Caboose to grab Pinkie.

"Wee!" The trio cheered as they slowly drifted through the sky.

"She's pretty strong." Church noted.

"I'm holding them steady with my magic. I don't want to see them get hurt." Twilight said.

"Right." Church sighed.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk?"

"Do you keep asking because you're concerned and you want to help, or just because you want to see how I tick?"

"Well I would be lying if I didn't say I was interested in both."

"I think I'm good for now." Church sighed as he watched the three of them slowly approach the ground. "It's just good to know that somebody is concerned with my well being."

"That was so amazing! Church did you see me?" Caboose asked as Derpy dropped Caboose and Pinkie on the ground.

"Yeah, I did."

"Are you still sad about the bear thing?" Derpy asked.

"No I'm not sad about the bear thing..."

"Aw Church I know what'll cheer you up." Derpy said happily.

"Why is it that every time one of you says that, something bad always happens to-" Church began but looked down to see that he was no longer on the ground. He looked up to see Derpy lifting him into the air. "What are you doing? Let me go!"

"But if I let go you will fall. Besides I think you will like the air, it's all like big and stuff!"

"Just make it quick." Church murmured.

"Okay."

Derpy slowly glided through the air, allowing Church to see a beautiful view of Ponyville and the surrounding area. Suddenly Church started hurtling downwards and he looked up to see Derpy still gliding around with ease, though she was no longer holding on to him.

"This is going to suck." Church groaned as he saw the ground quickly approaching.

"Whoopsy." Derpy giggled. She caught up to him before pulling up from the fall to land firmly on the ground. "Didja like it?"

"The view was pretty good, so aside from the fall, sure."

"Well we're near the bottom and Froggy Bottom Bog isn't too far from here." Pinkie said.

The group stopped talking as they continued towards the bog at a slow pace. Once they approached the entrance to the bog, Pinkie sat under a tree and took off her saddlebags.

"Time for a break?" Twilight asked.

"Yup!"

"Great." Church said as he rubbed his head. "I think I might have a concussion."

"Oh, I know something that's good for those." Pinkie said as she reached in her mane.

"Why am I suddenly worried."

"Because you're always worried silly." Pinkie giggled as she took a glass out of her mane and held it out to Church.

"Now you're getting to know me." Church chuckled as he looked into the glass. "What is it?"

"It's just some medicine."

"That you kept in your hair..."

"Don't worry, my mane is just fine." Pinkie said as she played with her mane. "See? I didn't get any of it in there."

"Oh that's good news." Church said sarcastically as he continued looking at the concoction. "Where did you get it?"

"Zecora made it for me! I have lots of potions and stuff so I'm ready for almost everything. Now drink up, we don't want you to start feeling bad."

"Something tells me if I drink this I will start feeling bad." Church said quietly to Twilight.

Church shrugged and chugged the entirety of the glass and shivered violently.

"This tastes horrible!" Church sputtered as he rubbed his tongue in an attempt to rid it of the taste.

"Here eat this!" Caboose said, handing Church a cupcake.

Church snagged the cupcake and started to chew violently until the taste of the medicine had all but disappeared.

"Hey... where’s Gummy?" Pinkie asked.

"I let him on the ground because he wanted to go for a swim." Caboose said.

"Oh, okay. As long as we didn't forget him up there." Pinkie said as she jumped to her feet. "Well, that's enough of a break, let's go!"

"That was barely a minute." Church complained.

"Let's go, they're not going to wait up for us." Twilight said as she helped Church to his hooves.

Church nodded and the pair quickly caught up with the others who were looking at the trees, trying to find some cocoa beans.

"I still can't believe we're doing this for a muffin." Church said as he watched Derpy fly into the leaves of a tree.

"Muffcake." Pinkie corrected.

"Sorry. I meant I still can't believe we're doing this for a muffcake."

"At least there are no bears here." Twilight said.

"I know I miss him too, but now I have my frog friends to keep me company." Caboose said, a dozen frogs sitting on his head.

"They're probably poisonous." Church said, amused and worried at the same time.

"None of the frogs in here are poisonous, so there is no reason to worry."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I am worrying over nothing."

A sudden, loud roar echoed through the bog with the sound of trees snapping coming from nearby.

"I thought you said there were only frogs in here." Church said shakily.

"Oh, didn't I mention the hydras?" Pinkie asked as she tapped her chin. "I could have sworn I said something about them."

"What is a hydra?" Caboose asked as the frogs on his head jumped into the murky water next to him.

A tree flew by the group and slammed into a large boulder, shattering the tree to pieces. They all turned around to see a hydra glaring at them with its five heads.

"That's a hydra." Twilight said nervously.

"I wonder if he'll be my friend."

Gone

The hydra licked its lips and gave a satisfied burp as it looked at the two heads that were still fighting.

"Motherfucker!" Church snarled as he headbutted the hydra. "You ate me you son of a bitch!"

"Wouldn't it be you ate yourself?" Caboose asked.

"Shut the fuck up Caboose." Church yelled as he bit into its neck.

"How are you going to get your body back?" Twilight yelled through the hydra's cry of pain.

"I have no idea."

"What if he poops you out?" Caboose asked.

"Oh god we have to hurry, I don't want that to happen." Church yelled as he headbutted the hydra again.

"This is getting out of hoof." Twilight said as her horn began to glow. "As much as I don't want to do this, I think we may have to kill it."

"Don't do anything! I don't want my body to be smashed to pieces."

"Then what do you propose?"

The hydra head bit onto Church's throat and he gasped in pain.

"I think I know what I have to do."

Church phased out of the hydra, confusing the head he was in as it was under attack. The hydra quickly regained its senses and began to fight back, and soon all four heads were fighting.

"You guys may want to get behind something." Church suggested quietly.

"What are you going to do?"

"Something that I am going to regret instantly." Church sighed before jumping towards the hydra's stomach.

The hydra's torso began to shine blue, which made the four heads stop fighting, preoccupied with the spectacle. The stomach quickly began to shake violently and the hydra gave a deafening shriek.

"Get down!" Twilight yelled, causing the group to jump behind the remnants of the tree that the hydra had shattered.

Moments later an explosion blew away their cover. Twilight looked up to see Church standing in a pool of bile, while pieces of the hydra rained down from the sky.

"Church are you alright?" Twilight asked.

"Why wouldn't I be? Though... I was right." Church said as he started to wipe the muck off of his body.

"About what?"

"I already regret doing it. This stuff smells like shit."

The other three looked up to see Church was now fine and the hydra was nowhere to be seen.

"Where did it go?" Derpy asked as she looked around cautiously. "Did it leave?"

Church looked around at the huge chunks of hydra that were scattered everywhere and still falling from the sky.

"I'm done." Church grunted as he began to walk away. "If you need me, don't hesitate to not ask me."

"But we're almost done." Pinkie said as she hopped alongside him, before bringing one of the pieces up to her face. "This stuff is weird. What is it?"

"What's left of the hydra." Church said without stopping.

"Ew, that's gross." Pinkie said as she dropped the piece to the ground before turning back to Church. "But why don't you stay?"

"Because I'm covered in the innards of a giant hulking, multi-headed creature."

"But we just need the-"

"I. Don't. Care." Church said slowly. "Twilight, you can follow them if you want but I have had enough of dying a while."

"Do you want us to get you when we bake it?" Pinkie asked.

"Do what you want." Church said before disappearing through the trees.

"Alright Pinkie, what's next?" Twilight asked.

"We just have to grab a few leaves of vanilla. I think that there are some areas around the bog that have leaves, so it shouldn't take so long."

The four wandered for an hour until they came across a small, clear watered stream that passed through the bog.

"There's some!" Pinkie said as she hopped towards a small bush on the edge of the stream. "There's a lot of it too!"

Pinkie picked dozens of vanilla stems and placed them in her bag before snapping it shut.

"That was fast." Pinkie giggled. "Now we can go back and start to make it."

A loud thump came from behind them, startling the group. They turned to see a large lion, glaring at each of them.

"What is a lion doing in a swamp?" Caboose asked. "They belong in the ocean!"

"It’s a manticore." Twilight said as Pinkie and Derpy started backing away.

"What is a mandiplore?"

"It's a creature with the body of a lion, the tail of a scorpion and a pair of wings. They're extremely dangerous and-"

The manticore let out a loud roar, cutting Twilight mid sentence.

"Run!" Derpy yelled as she bolted past the manticore.

The manticore lost focus on the others and prepared to chase after Derpy until the others also ran by it. With all of its prey running in one direction, it quickly gave chase to the four ponies. Twilight turned a few seconds later to see it sprinting towards them, knocking everything out of its path without any signs of slowing.

"We have to split up! Pinkie you take Derpy and run the other way while I take Caboose with me."

Pinkie gave a nervous nod before tapping Derpy and splitting off from Twilight and Caboose. The manticore looked between the two groups and gave chase to Twilight and Caboose, who seemed to be having a harder time as they ran.

"Can't you use your magic power thingy?"

"I need time to focus on it, I can't just turn around and use it."

The manticore quickly caught up, whipping Twilight with its tail and sending her barreling into a tree before slumping to the ground.

"Run Caboose!" Twilight yelled weakly.

Caboose lost all focus of everything and stared blankly as he noticed the manticore's scorpion tail flicking back and forth as it was getting ready to strike.

"Caboose, don't worry about me, just go!" Twilight yelled as her horn started to glow.

"It is a kitten... with spikes?" Caboose asked darkly as the manticore licked its lips.

"Caboose?" Twilight asked quietly, oblivious to the manticore as she watched Caboose's fur turn a deep shade of blue while his eyes turned completely black.

Caboose snarled as he lunged towards the manticore and tackled it to the ground. Twilight watched fearfully as Caboose slammed his hoof into the manticore's face.

"I hate spikey kittens."

Shooting Stars

"Twilight, you should really go to bed soon." Spike yawned as he opened the door to the patio where Twilight was sitting. "It's getting late."

"Yes Spike, I'm just thinking about what happened back in that bog." Twilight muttered.

"You mean when Church got almost eaten by the hydra?"

"No. After that we were attacked by a manticore, so to confuse it Pinkie went with Derpy one way and I took Caboose a different way. It decided to follow us, but something changed in Caboose once he saw its tail..."

"Changed?" Spike asked as he scratched his head. "What do you mean he changed?"

"His features darkened and his voice became extremely deep."

"That's what you're worried about?" Spike chuckled lightly. "So his looks changed, that isn't something to get worked up about."

"No, that was just the start. After he changed he started to attack the manticore. Every time he got hit, he just shrugged it off, laughed, and went back in for more. After a few hits the manticore grabbed him and flew up into the air with him, while he just laughed the entire time. And that laugh..." Twilight shivered viciously. "There was something evil in that laugh of his. I'm going to have to ask Pinkie to keep her eye on him."

"Do you think he got possessed?" Spike asked nervously.

"Don't be silly Spike. There has to be a logical explanation for it..." Suddenly the sky lit up as it was streaked with the white lines of hundreds of stars.

"That was tonight?" Twilight asked as she ran inside her room. "Spike, where did you put my telescope?"

"I didn't touch it." Spike grunted as he went back inside.

Twilight quickly re-emerged with a telescope and placed it on the banister. She looked through it and began to watch the flurry of stars, which now filled the sky.

"I completely forgot about tonight with all that has been going on..." Twilight said regretfully.

One of the stars then fell out of the sky and crashed into the ground.

"Oh dear." Twilight gasped as a pillar of dust shot upwards. "I hope nopony was in the vicinity of that..."

A lone unicorn was sitting on a bridge over the stream, watching the stars that lit up the sky.

"It's beautiful..." The pony gawked at the beautiful display. "I feel like I can just touch the stars..."

One star caught her eye, as it did not shoot across the sky, but rather slowly started to expand. The ponies eyes shot open when she realized that the star was shooting right towards her. She jumped to her feet and jumped off the bridge and into the stream. After a few seconds she crawled up the bank and shook most of the water off. She looked up to see a cloud of dust surrounding the landing area.

"My goodness..." The pony said quietly as the dust began to fall down.

Once the dust had settled, she approached the edge of the crater and looked into it to catch a glimpse of the star. But what was inside was not a star, but was a seven foot long figure. The pony blinked, confused by what she saw, believing it to be a statue until it groaned, causing the pony to yelp and fall on her flank. She blinked and went back up to the crater. The figure slowly started to get to on it's hind legs and began to shake.

"H-hello?" The pony asked.

The figure slowly looked up and wiped the dirt off of its body, revealing a light blue, metallic skin. The figure then jumped up to the edge of the crater, landing a few feet away from the unicorn.

"What happened?" The figure asked quietly.

"Y-you fell from the sky and landed h-here." The unicorn said as she motioned towards the large crater.

"Oh." The figure coughed.

The figure looked down at her leg, which appeared to be fine, but it knew that it had been broken on impact.

"Are you alright?" The unicorn asked quietly.

"I just fell from the sky and broke my leg, do you think I'm alright?"

"S-sorry." The unicorn said quietly. "Are you an alien?"

"I guess you could say that." The figure said, extending her hand up to the unicorn. "My name is Carolina. What's yours?"

"I'm Aqua Dew." The unicorn said with a shaky smile, as she shook Carolina's hand. "Do you think you'll be okay?"

"I've had worse." Carolina shrugged as she took off her helmet, allowing her crimson red hair to fall to her shoulders. "Are you from around here?"

"Yes, why?"

"I'm looking for someone, maybe you can help me."

"I would love to. Who are you looking for?"

"I'm looking for someone, who is wearing stuff just like me."

"Sorry, but I haven't seen anypony that looks like you. But maybe I've heard of him, what's his name?"

"He has a lot of names. Alpha, Epsilon, Church..."

"Sorry, none of those ring any bells."

Carolina darted towards Aqua Dew, grabbed her by the horn and, with a flick of the wrist, snapped it off. Aqua Dew let out a yelp and started to scream. Carolina's free hand darted to the pony’s mouth, stifling the screams. Soon the pain became too much for Aqua Dew to bear and she fell to the ground, unconscious.

"That's a shame." Carolina said quietly. Carolina sat on the ground and started to feel her leg. She felt a sharp pain as she touched her ankle. "Dammit."

Carolina looked at the horn in her hand and began to slowly examine it.

"How am I going to find him when my foot is broken..." Carolina groaned.

Suddenly, the horn began to glow bright blue and a beam shot towards her ankle. Carolina instinctively threw the horn away from her. She stared at it silently for a few seconds before getting to her feet once again. Her eyes snapped to her ankle in surprise when no pain accompanied the action. She slowly walked up to the horn and picked it up.

"What the hell is this thing?" Carolina asked herself.

She slowly turned and faced towards the town and pointed the horn at the bridge. She focused on it and a ball shot out of the tip of the horn and blew up the bridge. Carolina held herself back and smiled at the horn before putting her helmet back on.

"I'm coming for you Alpha." Carolina said as she tightened her grip on the horn. "And I'm going to kill anything that gets in my way."

Unforeseen Events

"This place looks like it's seen better days..." Sarge muttered as he entered the ruins of the destroyed castle.

The walls looked as if they ere ready to collapse at any second if not for the vines that seemed to be holding them in place. Cobwebs were strewn about over every crevice and crack, giving the walls a feel much like the Archaic Wing in Canterlot. At the end of the room was a large statue that had a large sphere on top. underneath that sphere the statue branched off in five directions, and at the tip of each branch was a small platform that had a small dip to hold other spheres.

"Ah, without the elements in place it looks so much more barren in here." The Necronomicon smiled. "I love it."

"Where is the entrance?" Grif asked as he approached the statue.

"Underneath that."

"Yeah, good luck moving that." Grif chuckled. "It must weigh a ton."

A bat came down from the ceiling and landed on Grif's face.

"Holy shit a bat!" Grif cried, going on his hind legs and flailing his fore legs. "Get it off, get it off!"

Grif took a step back and hit a tile, which suddenly sunk in the ground, causing the statue to slowly start moving back. The bat then flew off his face and went out the window.

"One of the idiots found out!" The Necronomicon said with fake excitement. "Hold on, maybe I have some dog treats you can have."

"Is it gone?" Grif asked, now on his back.

"Get up." Sarge grunted, kicking him in the ribs.

"Ow, my ribs!"

"You are all idiots." The Necronomicon sighed. "Every one of you."

"So it's down there, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked, flying towards the entrance of the catacombs. "It's pretty dark down there."

"Oh I wonder why? Maybe because nopony has been down here for over a millennium."

Twilight approached the stairs and felt a certain power emanating from below.

"You feel it call for you, don't you?"

"What?" Twilight asked, breaking focus on the stairs.

"The magic from the room down there. Certainly brings back memories, like opening a scrapbook!" The Necronomicon sniffled before coughing and turning around. "Why did I just say scrapbook?"

"Seems like Caboose is rubbing off on you." Church began to chuckle.

"Let's hurry, I don't feel like staying in here for much longer." The Necronomicon said, face pale.

"Give me a moment." Twilight said, using her magic to grant the others the ability to see in the dark. "There we are."

The Necronomicon nodded and began walking down the stairs. The others took a few seconds to get ready and began to follow him into the bowels of the castle.

"Are we there yet?" Grif yawned after several minutes of walking down the stairs.

"Almost." The Necronomicon nodded.

After what seemed like half an hour the Necronomicon came to a stop.

"Is this it?" Rainbow Dash asked as she bumped into the Necronomicon.

"No, now we have to keep going down the steps that aren't there." The Necronomicon said with mild annoyance.

The room lit up due to Twilight casting another spell, showing everything that was held in the room. There were two stone slabs located in the middle of the room with six statues of ponies facing the slabs.

"Who are they?" Twilight asked curiously.

"Them?" The Necronomicon chuckled. "They're the watchers."

"The watchers?"

"They were supposed to come to life when and if I was taken out of here, but for some reason they didn't." The Necronomicon said as he laid on one of the stone slabs. "Oh well, place me next to me."

"Are you sure they won't come back if we take you out again?" Rarity asked.

"They would have already if they sensed me come back, so I'm going to say yes I'm sure."

Twilight nodded and placed the book next to him. A red mist came out of Caboose's lips and slwoly enveloped the book. Caboose's body went still and the Necronomicon opened it's eyes.

"There we are." The Necronomicon chuckled. "Now lay on the other slab and open me."

"Yeah." Church muttered as he laid on the slab.

"This looks like something out of a horror movie." Tucker grunted.

"Twilight, give it to me." Church said, holding out his hoof.

Twilight grabbed the Necronomicon and began making her way over to Church, but stopped a few feet away from him.

"Hurry up, I'm beginning to feel a little stiff."

"Bow chicka bow wow."

"Shut the fuck up." Church muttered. He then pulled his hoof towards his chest. "Come on, what are you waiting for?"

Twilight edged towards Church and reluctantly gave him the book, before stepping back and looking at the ground.

"So do you know for a fact this will work?" Church asked.

"It wouldn't be fun if I knew that." The Necronomicon said giddily. "Let's go. Open me. Openmeopenmeopenm-"

"I will if you shut up."

"Okay." The Necronomicon said sadly.

"So is there any specific page?"

"When you open me you will find the page you need.'

Church opened the book and a a dark mist shot out of the book and began sinking into Church. Twilight ran towards him before finding herself flung backwards by a magical force.

"Now I know this looks bad, but this is just the process." The Necronomicon said as Church began floating in the air. "It has to look evil otherwise everypony will do it."

After a few seconds the mist came out of Church and went back into the book.

"Okay, I'm going to need one of you to catch me on three. One. Two..."

The Necronomicon then landed on the floor between the two slabs and grunted.

"Darn, timing was off."

A small white light appeared on Church's chest. The light grew to twice it's size and flew towards Caboose, where it landed on his chest. A small beam came out of Church's chest and connected with the light, linking the two of them together.

"Might want to cover your ears." The Necronomicon laughed.

Caboose quickly sat up and began to yell which made the group cover their ears.

"It really is quite a painful process, though we are nearing the end so do not worry."

Caboose stopped yelling and fell on his back, eyes wide open.

"Caboose?" Twilight asked in a hushed voice.

"Oh hello Twilight! Where are we?" Caboose asked with a laugh. "This place sure is spooky. Hey look a book!"

Caboose trotted up the book and picked it up with his teeth.

"Put me down this instant!" The Necronomicon said harshly.

"Oh my gosh it talks! Do I get three wishes?" Caboose asked hastily. "For my first wish I would like some ice cream. For my second wish I want a second bowl of ice cream. And-"

"I am not a genie!" The Necronomicon shouted.

"But I didn't even get to say my third wish." Caboose pouted.

"Fine, what is your third wish?"

"I wish you were a talking book!"

"Granted." The Necronomicon said sarcastically. "Now onto-"

"It worked!" Caboose jumped up and down. "Where is my ice cream?"

Suddenly, another beam shot out of Church's chest, this time towards Tucker.

"Son of a bitch!" Tucker yelled, jumping to the ground.

The beam shot over Tucker and struck the wall where it soon began to ricochet between all the objects in the room. After a few seconds it bounced off of one of the statues and hit Church in the chest, causing him to fall off the slab.

"Ow my chest!" Church yelled, clutching his chest.

"Church!" Twilight yelled, running to his side. "Are you okay? You're not hurt are you?"

"Yeah, I'm-" Church stopped mid sentence and began to shake.

"Church?" Twilight asked nervously.

Church did not reply, instead he started to scream.

"What's happening to him?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Put him on the slab." The Necronomicon said quickly.

"Wha-"

"Put him on the slab now!" The Necronomicon snapped.

Rainbow Dash nodded and quickly dragged Tucker to Church where they hastily put him on the slab. Church continued to scream, voice clearly beginning to strain.

"What's wrong with him?" Tucker asked. "Is he going crazy again?"

"No, this is something else." The Necronomicon said, beginning to panic.

Church slammed his eyes shut and his body went limp on the slab. The group stared silently at Church, waiting for him to get back up.

"Church?" Caboose asked, poking him in the tummy.

Church's eyes shot open, this time several beams shot out of his chest and began hitting everything in the room.

"Everyone get down!" Twilight yelled as she jumped to the ground, everybody in the room quickly followed her lead.

The sound of the beams hitting everything quickly came to a stop and Twilight raised her head and began to look around the room. She felt something was off but she couldn't find the reason why. She turned her attention back to Church, who was now sitting up and panting heavily.

"What happened?" Church asked quietly.

"You got hit by one of those beams an-"

"Shh." Church hissed. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" Twilight asked, trying to hear anything out of place.

"The voices."

"Voices?"

Church slowly turned to the statues and squinted his eyes. The girls looked at each other, feeling a large sense of unease pass through each of them.

"Them. They sound familiar..." Church said, before his eyes shot open and he turned around. "We need to get out."

"I think Church went crazy." Rainbow Dash said quietly, trying to pull Twilight away from Church.

The six statues that surrounded the slabs suddenly exploded in a mist of dust and rock, and in each of their place was a pony each one a different color and build.

"Should we run?" Rarity asked.

One of the living statues, which was now a red earth pony, snarled and charged towards the group. The pony had a certain fire in his eye that made the guys feel extremely disturbed.

"Yes, yes we should." Simmons said nervously.

Another one of the other living statues jumped off of its pedestal, but this one landed in front of the enraged pony. It turned it's head to face Church, showing a pair of eyes that appeared to be flickering between black and green.

"Run Epsilon!" The green unicorn snapped, using its magic to throw the red earth pony into the wall.

The group didn't need to be told twice so they quickly began running towards the stairs. But Church simply stared at the green unicorn, who was now trying to fend off the other living statues.

"Blue get your ass in gear!" Sarge yelled.

Church ignored Sarge and began walking towards the green unicorn.

"What is he doing?" Grif asked.

"Delta?" Church croaked.

Success

Tex dashed towards Twilight, picked her up by her throat then slammed her into the ground causing her to gasp in pain.

"Tex leave her alone." Tucker said as he grabbed her shoulder.

She kicked Tucker in the chest with her hind legs, sending him flying into the others. She quickly looked around the tunnel before grabbing a root from the ceiling of the tunnel and tearing it out, causing the ceiling to crack. She then punched the wall of the tunnel as hard as she could, causing the cracked part of the ceiling to fall apart, separating Twilight and herself from the others.

"We have to dig through this!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed from the other side.

"But I don't want to get my hoofs dirty." Rarity pouted.

"Tucker, Spike, start digging." Rainbow Dash commanded.

"Why us?" Tucker asked.

"Because there isn't enough room for more than one pony and it's your fault we fell down here! Now go!"

"Son of a bitch." Tucker grunted as he began to dig through the cave in. "What happens if-"

"Dig!"

Tucker muttered something under his breath and began to dig through the cave in with Spike. Tex turned to Twilight after she heard Tucker's hooves hit the dirt.

"It'll take them a while to dig through that. Now we can talk without having to worry about the others." Tex said quietly.

"I'm not afraid of you."

"You should be. After all, if you hurt me you'll end up hurting Church, isn't that right?"

Twilight scowled and looked away. She narrowed her eyes when she saw a large rock with a spiral symbol on it.

"That's what I thought." Tex laughed as she placed her torch on the wall. "Now let's see how badly I can hurt you before they manage to break through."

"Assuming you can hurt me at all."

"Heh. Funny." Tex said before lunging towards Twilight and hitting her in the ribs. Twilight gasped in pain and stumbled back, holding onto her bruised ribs. "Looks like I hurt you alright."

Tex jumped towards her again, but this time Twilight rolled out of the way, making Tex punch the wall. As Tex recovered from the shock of the blow, Twilight hit Tex in the side. She then went for another punch but Tex grabbed her hoof and twisted it until it nearly broke, causing her to yelp.

"Is that all you got?" Tex challenged as she lifted Twilight off the ground by her hoof.

"No, it isn't." Twilight said as she flicked her head downwards, causing her horn to leave a deep gash in Tex's cheek.

"We'll see how much you can do with your horn after I break it off!" Tex snapped as she grabbed Twilight's horn and slammed her head against the wall.

Twilight threw a dazed punch at Tex, trying to hit her in the face. Tex used her free hoof to grab Twilight's foreleg and twist it. Twilight began to moan in pain as Tex kept twisting her hoof. Tex stopped once more, not wanting to end the fight so quickly, and kicked Twilight in the chest. Twilight slammed into the ground and she coughed as the dust around her began to fly. Twilight slowly rolled onto her back and began to get up.

"Just admit that without your horn you're useless." Tex said as she placed her hoof on Twilight's throat, keeping her pinned to the ground. "There's no way you can beat me. I was trained to fight, and fighting isn't something you can learn from one of your little books."

"You may be faster and stronger than me. But I have something you could never dream of having." Twilight gasped, trying to get any air she could.

"Don't give me any of that friendship crap.” Tex scoffed as she applied more pressure onto Twilight’s throat. “I'd prefer not to get sick while I'm kicking your ass."

"No. It's not friendship.” Twilight said weakly as she attempted to shake her head. “Even the meanest of ponies have a chance at finding true friendship."

“Then what do you have?” Tex asked sarcastically, relishing her soon to be victory. "And make it quick, I think the others are almost through."

"What I have is the ability to succeed." Twilight said as she slammed her hoof on the rock next to her.

A small spike came out of the wall and hit Tex in the ankle, piercing deep into her skin. Tex gasped in pain and lifted her hoof off of twilight, allowing her to get her breath back. Tex reached down and tore the spike out of her ankle and looked at the tip that had a green residue on it.

"Now it's clear to me you have only two options." Twilight said weakly as she got to her hooves. "The first option is you kill me now and then you get turned into a wooden husk. I personally don't think that option is one either of us want. The second option is you follow me, keep your attitude in line and we'll work together and find you a cure. Got it?"

"That's not fair!" Tex snapped, lips quivering in anger.

"What was it you said before? Oh that's right. Screw fair." Twilight said with an innocent smile. "Those are your two options. Which one is it going to be Tex?"

"I'm going to get you back for this."

"Is that a promise?" Twilight asked icily, causing Tex to shiver in frustration. "That's what I thought. Now if you don't mind I would appreciate it if you helped Tucker dig so we can group up with them faster. And make it quick Allison, the virus is already in your blood."

Tex turned around and took a deep breath, trying to restrain herself from killing Twilight. She then began to dig through the dirt until she could see Tucker's hoof. She quickly grabbed it and yanked him through, creating a large hole large enough for the others to pass through.

"Holy shit, you're still alive?" Tucker asked when he saw Twilight standing a few meters away with a calming smile on her face. He looked to the ground and saw the small spike, the tip of which was covered in blood, and then to Tex's ankle which had a small flow of blood coming out of it. "So Twilight kicked your ass, huh? Wish she was there when you kicked our asses."

"Keep talking and we'll see how far she gets before your head gets shoved up your ass."

"The more time you waste fighting, the further along the virus gets in your system." Twilight warned.

Tex glared at Twilight before taking a few steps away from Tucker, not wanting to lose her cool and kill them until she was cured.

"Glad to see you've been listening." Twilight said with a nod. "Now let's hurry out of here so we can get you a potion to get rid of the virus."

Worrying Over Everything

Tucker arrived at the library and knocked on the door three times.

"Come in." Twilight said from inside.

"How's it going?" Tucker asked as he opened the door. once inside, he saw Church sitting at the table with Rainbow Dash and Twilight.

"Good." Church grunted, not paying attention to Tucker. He turned his head a few seconds later and coughed. "You wouldn't have happened to see Tex on your way here, did you?"

"Yeah, I did." Tucker said, laughing to himself as if he had just told a joke.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing."

"Did you find the ponies that came to kick the clouds?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Yeah, I did." Tucker nodded.

"And? Who was it?"

"I'll let Tex tell you that one."

"Did you tell them why we haven't shown up for the past while?"

"No, I told them to tell Inclement that we are fine and that I'd go see go tomorrow." Tucker said, before turning to Church. "So any news on the fragment department?"

"What about them?" Church asked.

"Have you figured out where they're going to stay?"

"Not yet." Twilight sighed. "It's a difficult thing to do. We can't tell anypony else about them, so we can't ask somepony else to look after them, and there isn't much space at any of our placed. The only place I can think of for them to stay is at Sweet Apple Acres, but after what happened with Gary I doubt Applejack would be too keen on letting them stay near her."

"Is she alright?" Church asked.

"I think so, but then again none of the fragments have taken control of my body and mind. I'm sure it's an exhausting experience."

"I can go ask her right now if you want." Rainbow Dash suggested, already flying towards the door.

"Not right now." Twilight said gently, not wanting to bother the farm pony. "Let her have some rest first. We'll talk to her tomorrow or the day after."

"Okay." Rainbow Dash shrugged, trotting back to the table.

"Possessing bodies is a generally painful affair." The Necronomicon said suddenly from the bookshelf. "Not in the physical sense though, it causes next to no pain to a persons body, but it slowly eats away at the mind of both parties. The longer one spirits stays inside a body, the faster the mind deteriorates between the two souls."

"Is that why you're so crazy?" Church asked.

"Don't listen to him Daring. He's just a judgmental pony" The Necronomicon cooed at the book next to him, waving off Church's insult.

"You're fucked up." Tucker said.

Tex arrived at the library and opened the door to see Church, Twilight, Rainbow Dash and Tucker, sitting at the table. Twilight turned to Tex and smiled thinly at her.

"There you are." Church sighed. "Tucker told us he saw you, but he didn't tell us what happened."

"Really?" Tex asked idly.

"Yeah, I felt that you would be the one to tell them the news." Tucker said hesitantly.

"Right." Tex nodded, turning to show them he flank. "I got my mark thing, so now none of the horses will think I'm out of place."

"You got your cutie mark already?" Church asked, surprised at the news. "You've only been here for a couple days..."

"That's because I know what my skills are." Tex laughed.

"Fair enough. Wait, why is it a skull?" Church asked hesitantly, beginning to panic. "What did you do?"

"Relax, I didn't kill anyone." Tex assured him.

"Thank god."

"I only hurt three winged fuckers until they ran home to their mommies."

"Tex, what the fuck! What happened to keeping a low profile?"

"Oh, right." Tex rolled her eyes. "Listen, there is no need to get so worked up."

"No need to get so worked up? Of course there's a need to get worked up! You beat the shit out of three guys, and you're telling me not to get worked up?" Church asked, stopping briefly to think of a bright side. "Did you tell anyone your name?"

"A couple of ponies asked and I told them."

"Fuck." Church murmured. "What about where you came from."

"I told them I came from somewhere in the Everfree Forest."

"Jesus Christ! Weren't you listening when I told you to not draw any attention to yourself?"

"What were their names?" Rainbow Dash asked quietly.

"It was Hoops, Score and Dumb-Bell." Tucker answered with a smile.

"No way!" Rainbow Dash said, a large grin appearing on her face. "I wish I could have seen that."

"You want to see her beat the shit out of other innocents?" Church asked.

"No, those guys are far from innocent. When I was a filly, they would always try to pick on Fluttershy and I. I just see this as karma catching up with them."

"So they were mean to you?"

"Not just me. Before I took the weather job they were always sent here to clear the skies, and every time they did, they would stop an make fun of everypony in Ponyville. Let's just say most of the ponies in Ponyville will be happy to hear the news."

"I can't fucking believe this." Church muttered distastefully. "Didn't anyone see you without your cutie mark?"

"The two girls I told my name to saw me without one, and so did those three jokers, but I think the news that I took on three guys and beat them will go a lot farther than a missing mark. Besides, I doubt they'll want to tell anyone what happened here." Tex said with a small smile.

"But now people might start snooping around to find out more about you. What if any of the other AIs are here when that happens?"

"I doubt they'll start snooping around someone who took out three guys." Tex grunted.

Church looked over to Twilight, who remained silent. Church made a facial expression, begging Twilight to take part in the conversation.

"She's right, Church." Twilight said reluctantly.

"You approve?" Church asked, defeated.

"I agree that she should not have hurt anypony, but at least it was to the ones who deserve it most." Twilight said quietly. "And look at the bright side. Now that she has her cutie mark she will stand out slightly less."

"Only slightly?" Tex asked.

"Not a lot of ponies have a skull as their cutie mark. We'll have to come up with a story for why that's your cutie mark, so when you meet new ponies they won't be intimidated by you."

"I think they'll be intimidated either way." Tucker chuckled. "So are we done here?"

"Yes." Twilight nodded.

"Great." Tucker said, trotting towards the door. "C'mon Dash, let's get out of here."

Rainbow Dash nodded and she flew out the door with Tucker.

"I suppose I'll go check on Applejack for now." Twilight said as she began going to the door.

"I thought you were going to let her rest." Church grunted.

"I am. I'm not going to tell her anything about the AIs. I just need to make sure that Gary didn't do any permanent damage to her, then I'll leave her be for a day or two."

"So where am I going to sleep then?" Tex asked.

"I guess you can stay here for the night." Twilight said quietly, before walking through the door, heading to Sweet Apple Acres.

Lesson #1: Start Small

"I think I'm having some second thoughts." Tex said nervously as Pinkie began pushing Tex towards a small group of mares that were gathered in front of a building.

"I thought you weren't supposed to be afraid of anything?"

"Mercs? I can deal with. The idiots? No question. But this?" Tex asked, waving her hoof towards the group of mare. "This is fucking frightening."

"Why? The mares around here don't bite." Pinkie giggled briefly. "Uh, actually Screw Loose does, but she's in a hospital now."

"Screw Loose?"

"She thinks she's a dog."

"I'd probably have better luck with her than with them."

"Remember rule number one. Don't. Be. A. Negative. Nelly." Pinkie said slowly, enunciating each word carefully, poking Tex's belly at each pause. "Just give it a shot."

Tex took a deep breath and nodded. She stumbled to her hooves and slowly began walking towards the mares. Once she was twelve feet away from them, she paused and looked back at Pinkie. Pinkie gave her a reassuring smile, so Tex turned back to the mares to see they were now looking at her.

"Hello." One of them said sweetly.

"Hi." Tex said quietly, turning around to run away, but Pinkie glared at her and pointed to the mares. Tex reluctantly turned around and walked a few paces closer to the group. She looked up at the sun, and back down to the group. "Nice day, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." A pony with a plum coat and a dark pink mane agreed. "Are you lost?"

"No." Tex grunted, but smiled at them. "Just meeting some ponies. I'm a new pony in town."

"Oh, that's nice." The plum colored pony smiled. Tex's eyes slid to her cutie mark that appeared to be a bunch of grapes sitting next to a single strawberry. "My name is Berry Punch. These are my friends, Golden Harvest,"

"Hello." The yellow pony with an orange mane said warmly. Her cutie mark was a trio of carrots.

"Shoeshine,"

"Nice to meet you." The blue pony with a steel-blue mane smiled. Her cutie mark resembled two interlocking horse shoes, one of them being gold, while the other was silver.

"And my sister, Cherry Berry."

"Hey." The hot pink mare with the golden mane nodded. Tex saw that her cutie mark was a pair of cherries.

"It's nice to meet you all, I guess." Tex nodded.

"You guess?" Cherry Berry asked.

"Sorry, I'm not the best at introductions."

"Don't mind my sister. She doesn't mean to come off as rude." Berry Punch said, giving her sister a cold look.

"I'm sorry." Cherry Berry said sheepishly. "It is nice to meet you though."

"Thanks." Tex said, feeling some confidence return.

"So you're new?" Shoeshine asked. "Did you just move here or are you just visiting?"

"Visiting for now. I just figured I should get to know some others before I settle down, y'know?"

"I completely understand."

"No, you don't. Everyone at the place I used to live was an idiot."

"Stallions." Golden Harvest rolled her eyes. "Can't live with them, can't live without them."

"That won't stop me from trying." Tex grunted.

The group of mares did something that surprised Tex to a great degree. They all began to laugh. Tex, beginning to feel more confident began to laugh as well, and what surprised her greatly was that it did not sound forced.

"You know, I don't think we caught your name." Berry Punch said as she caught her breath.

"My name is Tex." Tex said without thinking.

"You mean you're the mare that hurt those pegasi?" Shoeshine asked nervously.

"Fuck." Tex muttered as the mares began to slowly edge backwards.

"We need to get going." Berry Punch said quickly.

The group quickly galloped into the building next to them and slammed the door shut behind them. Tex sat on the ground and shook her head in defeat.

"I think that went really well." Pinkie laughed.

"You're kidding..."

"Nope. You managed to talk to them for almost a whole minute!"

"And?"

"That's about fifty seconds more than the others said anyone could bare you!"

"Lovely." Tex huffed.

"Isn't it?" Pinkie giggled.

"Did you see the way they looked? They were scared of me. And I haven't even done anything to them!"

"This will be harder than I thought." Pinkie said, scratching her head. "Lesson one-"

"Don't be a negative nelly?" Tex asked in a sing song voice.

"No, that's rule number one, not lesson one, silly."

"Fine, what's lesson one?"

"Start small, get a few friends and you can work your way up from there!"

"Maybe if I didn't have this skull thing I would have better luck." Tex muttered, looking at her flank.

"Hm, good point." Pinkie said penively, scratching her chin.

"People probably think I'm going to kill them." Tex chuckled lightly.

"I got it." Pinkie said quickly as she ran up to a tree and reached behind it.

"Got a tattoo removal kit stashed behind there?"

"Better!" Pinkie said with a hearty laugh, before pulling out an eye patch.

"An eye patch? You're not going to take me on one of those adventures of yours, are you?"

"Of course not, but at least now we can pretend you're a pirate!" Pinke said as she put the eye patch over Tex's right eye.

"What was that doing there anyways?"

"Oh, I just have eye patches stored around town in case of any eye patch emergencies."

"Uh-huh." Tex said, looking into her reflection in the fountain. "I look ridiculous."

"Yeah, you're right." Pinkie said, tapping her chin. She then dashed towards Tex and adjusted the eye patch so it was over her left eye. "Perfect!"

"How is this better?" Tex groaned.

"How isn't it?"

Tex's left eye twitched, but Pinkie could not see it due to the fact that it was now covered. Pinkie, however, sensed it anyways and giggled.

"What?"

"Now people can't see when you get annoyed, so that should score a couple points!"

"I guess." Tex muttered as she lifted the eye patch to see. "It doesn't help that I look like a complete idiot with it on."

"Want me to go get the pirate hat? Will that make it look better?"

"No don't get the-"

"Hang on I'll go get it." Pinkie gasped, running away from Tex.

"This is dumb." Tex grunted, kicking a loose rock free. She looked into her reflection once more and saw her reflection glaring up at her again. She kicked the water with her hoof, disrupting the reflection, and then sat next to the fountain, rubbing her head. Maybe I'd have better luck if I just threatened people to be my friend.

"Are you okay?" Asked a small voice.

Tex looked up to see a small white colt with brown spots all over his body looking up at her.

"Hello." He said with a smile.

"Hi." Tex said quietly.

"Are you from around here?"

"I'm, er-" Tex hesitated. She looked back to see Pinkie wearing the pirate hat, nodding her head violently with an abnormally large smile on her face, mouthing the words start small.

"No, I'm not. I'm a... uh..." Tex coughed. "I'm a pirate."

"Really? I love pirates! My name is Pipsqueak, but most ponies call me Pip."

"Great." Tex grunted.

"What's your name?"

"My name?" Tex asked, looking back at Pinkie, who was pointing to her hair. Tex looked into her reflection and quickly took note of her orange-red hair. Think fast. What sounds like a pirate name? "My name is... Rust Mane?"

"You don't sound too sure." Pipsqueak laughed.

"When you're a pirate you don't do introductions often." Tex said with a dark smirk.

"Why not?"

"Because pirates will do anything for money. They're more likely to hurt you than befriend you."

"If that's true, then why are you talking to me?"

Shit. Tex thought quickly. "Well, I'm retired now. Figured I'd settle down and- y'know what? I think I've had enough of this."

"Enough of what?" Pipsqueak asked.

"Listen kid, I'm not a pirate." Tex said, throwing her eye patch to the ground. "My name is-"

"Of course you're not a pirate! There aren't any oceans around here." Pipsqueak chuckled. "But that shows that you aren't from around here, so where are you from?"

"Not from around here, that's for sure." Tex sighed.

"Wait a minute. Aren't you Tex?" Pipsqueak asked excitedly when he saw her cutie mark.

"Yeah." Tex nodded, already dismissing the young colt as a possible friend.

"You're not as mean as some ponies made you out to be."

"Really?" Tex asked, surprised.

"Yeah! A lot of ponies said that you hurt anypony you meet."

"Only to ones that deserve it." Tex shrugged. Might as well be honest, even if he is just a kid.

"That's not too bad. I don't see why anypony should be afraid of you."

"Guess when you have a bad reputation you have no chance at meeting new people..."

"Hey, I can help you make friends!" Pipsqueak said happily.

"How?" Tex asked curiously.

"Well, if they see you walking with me being all happy, maybe they'll see that you aren't so bad after all!"

"It's worth a shot." Tex smiled warily, not having much hope.

Future Endeavors

"Tex, you in there?" Church asked as he rapped on the door.

"Where else would I be, jackass?"

"Charismatic as always." Church said sarcastically, opening the door to the bedroom. "I can see this place is already starting to rub off on you."

"Thanks, I'm trying hard."

Church smirked and sat on the edge of the bed, staring intently at Tex.

"Just get out with it. Your mopey nature is running the mood." Tex said, half jokingly.

"Classy." Church murmured. "Just wondering what you're thinking about. I thought you'd be out trying to make a name for yourself."

"I don't really know, to be honest." Tex sighed, looking out the window. "I guess I'm just thinking about the future, y'know?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean between staying wherever this is and going back."

"You really are thinking about staying here, aren't you?" Church asked curiously.

"I mean, why not, right? Place is friendly, nobody is at my throat..." Tex said, looking into the town.

"Not yet, anyways." Church finished with a smirk.

"Har dee fucking har har." Tex grunted. "You know what I mean. It's a nice change of pace."

"I thought this place would be pissing you off by now."

"It is, in a way. The colors are hurting my eyes. I feel like a cartoon for fuck's sake." Tex said annoyingly. "But I don't want it to be. I'm kind of tired of being considered a-"

"A completely undeniable bitch?"

"Took the words right out of my mouth." Tex said honestly. "How about you, have you been thinking about going back?

"I don't know. I don't exactly see eye to eye with Celestia, so talking to her is the last thing I want to do." Church said sternly as he thought back to past events. "And I'm not too sure the others are too keen on going back. They're technically wanted criminals now, and I'm pretty sure most of them would rather be a group of pretty ponies than be locked up for the rest of their lives. Besides, I have this feeling that I need to do something here."

"You just don't know what it is yet." Tex nodded.

"Yeah, you have that feeling too?"

Tex looked at Church and nodded her head slowly.

"Any guesses?" Church asked.

"Not a single one."

"That's what I thought. I'll leave you to your thinking." Church said, hopping off the bed.

"I think I've done enough of that for a while." Tex said, hopping off the bed with him. "Kinda preferred it when I just went on my instincts. I'm not cut out for this thinking stuff."

"Now you know how Delta feels." Church chuckled as they walked out the door and down the stairs. "Poor bastard is always lost in thought."

"At least he seems happy with it." Tex said as they reached the bottom of the steps. She looked around the library to see Twilight reading a book at the table, while Spike was on the other side of the table eating something out of a bowl.

"Back down already?" Twilight asked as she flipped to the next page of her book.

Tex nodded without saying a word, taking a seat at the table with her.

"Thinking about what happens next?"

"How'd you know?"

"Just a guess." Twilight said honestly, looking up from her book.

"Yeah. It's hard thinking about the future. I liked living in the now. I barely know what I'm going to do the day after tomorrow."

"You're welcome to stay here until you figure it out." Twilight said warmly.

"And if I don't figure it out?"

"Then I guess I'll have more than just Church and Spike to keep me company." Twilight smiled. "Well, and Owlowicious, but he prefers to keep to himself during the day."

Tex looked at Twilight curiously, waiting for her to continue, but she did not. Tex turned to Church and raised her brow, but he simply shrugged in return.

"Are you being serious, or are you pulling my leg?"

"About what?" Twilight asked hesitantly.

"About letting me stay here. I kind of thought you would have wanted me out of here as soon as possible."

"I'm serious. What kind of pony would I be if I kicked someone else. As it is now you don't have anywhere else to go, and I would hardly find it fair to make you live on the street."

"Then thanks. I'll see what I can do about finding a place later. For now it's just nice to relax a bit."

"I understand completely." Twilight nodded, promptly looking down to continue reading, leaving the room in silence.

"So, uh, what are you reading?" Tex asked after a minute of sitting peacefully.

"I'm reading about the origins of the Griffon empire. Fascinating subject, really. You see, to get accepted into the clan you have to go through a series of trials to prove your worth. Each one proves to be more and more difficult. If you beat all the trials, you get praised and become an equal in the eyes of every other griffon. But if you lose, you get kicked out of the clan and you have to live somewhere else." Twilight said with fascination. "And if you want to visit the empire you have to best their strongest fighter's in a duel."

"Sounds... interesting?"

"Sorry, I don't mean to bore you." Twilight said sheepishly.

"Don't worry about it, I'm still trying to get a hang of small talk." Tex said modestly, and smiled weakly. "As you can see it's a work in progress."

"You have to start somewhere." Twilight said graciously.

"I guess so."

There was then a loud knock on the door. Twilight closed the book, but placed a feather on the page she was on, using it as a bookmark. Twilight opened the door to see Rainbow Dash smiling at her.

"Oh, hello Rainbow Dash." Twilight said with surprise. "Come to pick up the latest Daring Do?"

"She's mine!" The Necronomicon said snappishly from the bookshelf.

"Don't mind him, he's recently grown attached to miss Do." Twilight giggled. "I can just go grab it though. He can live a day without her."

"Nah, not tonight." Rainbow Dash shook her head as Tucker landed by her side, panting lightly.

"Why'd you tag me? You know I'm tired."

"We both are you doofus. And it's your fault anyway-"

"Then why are you here?" Twilight asked quickly, interrupting the fight.

"Oh, right. Is Tex around?"

"Er, yes." Twilight nodded. "Stay right here, I'll go get her."

"Okay." Rainbow Dash said as Twilight disappeared into the house.

"You're not really mad at me, are you?" Tucker asked.

"I'm not really mad, but I'm not really happy either." Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"You wouldn't be mad if you just let me show you why they call me Dr. Fu-"

"What's up?" Tex asked as she opened the door. "Twilight said you needed to talk to me for some reason?"

"Yeah, we were just wondering if you were busy tonight?" Tucker asked.

"No, why?" Tex asked with mild curiosity.

"I was thinking we could go to dinner together."

"Dinner, really? Your little thing with Dash already over?" Tex asked contemptibly, looking at Dash. "Though I guess I shouldn't really be surprised. It was bound to happen eventually."

"What? No, we're still good, but-"

"Define good. Because from I've heard you've just been pissing her off a lot."

"She's over it." Tucker said with a smile, turning to her. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and looked away from him. "See? If she really was mad I'd be on the ground clutching my sack for dear life."

"Uh-huh. So what's with this dinner thing you're talking about?"

"We kinda decided that we wanted to show you a good time." Rainbow Dash said when Tucker opened his mouth, not wanting him to say anything stupid. "Y'know, to show you that we support you."

"Really?" Tex asked with a smirk, believing there to be something else. "And who came up with that idea?"

"Fluttershy."

"Really?" Tex asked again, but this time feeling slightly guilty.

"Yeah, and normally she hates going out in public to eat, so she must really want you to feel welcome."

"Guess I have to give her an apology then." Tex muttered under her breath, staring at the ground. She looked back up and nodded after a few seconds. "Sure, why not? Dinner sounds... nice?"

"You go tell Twi and Church, we still need to go tell Caboose and Pinkie." Rainbow Dash said, starting to turn around.

"Wait, are the Reds coming too?" Tex asked seriously. "Like, even Grif?"

"Yeah, but Grif didn't seem to keen on going." Rainbow Dash said hesitantly. "But I think in the end he felt bad for the way he acted, so this is his way of apologizing."

"Sounds too smart for him." Tex chuckled. "Then again, I think he knows he's not much better with words than Tucker is."

"Hey!" Tucker snapped.

"You got that right." Rainbow Dash grunted jokingly.

"But seriously, why do you stick around with Tucker?"

"Celestia's orders." Rainbow Dash shrugged. "He's my charge or whatever it's called, but if it wasn't for that he'd have been kicked out a long time ago."

"You're kidding, right?" Tucker asked with a smile.

Rainbow Dash shook her head and began flying away, but smiled once she was certain Tucker could no longer see her face. Tucker turned to Tex leaving and his smile began to waver as he grew concerned. Tex smirked to herself, gaining a small sense of respect for the cyan pegasus.

"She's kidding, right?" Tucker asked after a few seconds, almost pleadingly.

Tex snorted and closed the door.

PSA #1 - "Interspecies Relationships"

"Hey Tucker." Rainbow Dash said as she turned to him in bed. "You still awake?"

"Yeah, why?" Tucker sighed, feeling exhausted from the food fight.

"I was just thinking about.. us... y'know?"

"What about us?"

"Well, I like you, and you like me, we said we loved each other, but we haven't really done anything about it."

"And?"

"I think I'd like to."

"Great, let me know how that turns out." Tucker muttered, rolling back to his other side.

Rainbow Dash raised her brow and waited for a few seconds.

"Wait, you mean-" Tucker asked hastily, turning back to Rainbow Dash with bright eyes.

"Yeah, I mean you keep saying how great you are, just figured maybe I should put you to the test. That is, if you aren't too tired."

"No! No, I'm not tired at all!" Tucker said hastily.

"Great, no need for this then." Rainbow Dash giggled, tossing the cover off of the bed with her wings. "Since you're the master, I'll let you start."

Tucker leaned towards Rainbow Dash, ready to kiss her.

"Stop." A voice said from outside of the set.

Tucker continued leaning until he was within two inches of Rainbow Dash's face, where she promptly slammed her hoof into the side of his head.

"What the hell?" Tucker hissed as he rubbed his head.

"He said stop, smart one." Rainbow Dash said irately. "Come on in guys."

Simmons and Grif walked onto the scene until they were standing on either side of the bed.

"Hi, I'm private Dexter Grif, from the popular fanfiction 'My Little Caboose: Blue is Magic!'." Grif said suddenly after clearing his throat.

"And I'm private Dick Simmons from the same fictional piece." Simmons chuckled. "What you just saw was a small glimpse of Interspecies Relationships. Right now you're probably thinking to yourself; "What is an Interspecies Relationship?", and your questions can easily be-"

"I can answer that!" A flamboyant voice said from offscreen.

"Donut, shut up! You're not coming in until we're wrapped up with season ten of Red vs Blue!" Simmons snapped. He turned back to where he was looking and coughed awkwardly. "Sorry about that. An Interspecies Relationship is what happens when two beings from, wait for it, different species get into a relationship with each other."

"And we're not talking about regular old platonic love either. We're talking about moving into a more serious relationship with the other species."

"Right now you're probably thinking; "Two different species becoming more than just friends? That's disgusting!", right? You're probably also wondering what kind of sick, twisted fuck would want to do that? What kind of mentally retar-"

"What Grif means to say is that you might be saying to yourself; "Now hold on just a minute, aren't you horses too?", to which we would answer yes."

"And after we say that, you probably think; "Doesn't that make it okay?". While humans and the equines of this world are both sentient beings make it seem okay, it isn't. People fail to realize is that while our present forms are that of a cartoon equine, there are still certain repercussions in said relationships, and we're here to tell you each one. But first, let's talk about why the idea of Interspecies Relationships may be appealing."

"Certain fictional games are pushing the boundaries of relationships between two seperate species." Grif said as he pulled a small piece of paper out from under his wing. He squinted at it and cleared his throat abruptly. "Some of the games are as follows: Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Mass Effect Two, Dragon Age: Awakening, Mass Effect Three, Dragon Age Two, and many more."

"Soon enough they'll make a game called How Many Different Species Can I Bang?, and it will most likely be an instant hit."

"When these games were first released, they received a certain amount of negative feedback from the press. They claimed that these games were sex simulators. Why? Because that's what teenaged boys used them for, of course! But with these games edging into our society, more people seem to be accepting of these kinds of relationships."

"Captain Kirk would be proud."

"As he should be, private Grif." Simmons said before continuing. "And as such, since these relationships become more well known and more or less accepted, people tend to write more and more fiction involving said relationships. Like the one you're reading now."

"But just because we're ponies doesn't make us any less human."

"Or one eighth cyborg." Simmons chipped.

"Duly noted, private Simmons." Grif nodded again. "People tend to find these relationships interesting because of how taboo the subject is, thinking that their love can conquer all! Well it can't, so get that idea out of your head."

"Now you're probably thinking; "Okay, what is so wrong with it?". Well the answer to that one is obvious. It's kind of disgusting. What other reason do we need?"

"And we mean really disgusting. Even more disgusting than Simmons' wide collection of World of Warcraft themed porn. Well, actually it's probably significantly less disgusting than that."

"World of Warcraft is nothing to be ashamed of." Simmons muttered.

"Right." Grif rolled his eyes, but quickly began to smile. "Please keep in mind that even though we find it totally gross, we in no way discourage it, because after all, that's what the internet is for."

"To scar your innocence forever."

"Exactly, Interspecies Relationships is the least of your worries when it comes to the internet."

"Uh, guys, I think you time is about up." Rainbow Dash said testily. "Have to get ready for tomorrows chapter, and you guys still have work on season ten to do."

"But we're not done yet." Grif muttered.

"Don't make me go get Tex to come and convince you." Rainbow Dash said coyly.

"Well, that's all the time we have for tonight, on account of the write being extremely fatigued from walking for an entire two hours!" Grif stammered, trying quickly to wrap up.

"And the fact that he's probably drunk or high right now." Simmons commented dryly.

"Maybe even both."

"That is a possibility." Simmons agreed. "So we'll see you later when we perform our next PSA on Writing Advice."

Possibilities

Gary came to a slow, tired stop after doing a full lap around the acres, and nearly collapsed due to exhaustion.

"Don't get weak in the knees now, we still got work to do!" Sarge smiled toothily as Gary wobbled back in forth.

"This working stuff might be a smidgen harder than I had originally thought." Gary muttered, squeezing out from under the yoke.

"Too bad." Sarge chuckled. "Now empty the cart."

"You're mean." Gary pouted, falling to the ground. "Can't you do it?"

"I can, but I won't."

Big Mac walked past Sarge and began putting the wagon on his yoke.

"Don't do the work for him!" Sarge said, walking in front of Big Mac to stop him.

"Sarge, just let me do it my way." Big Mac said firmly, pushing past the confused Sarge.

"Don't tell me you're trying to be his friend." Sarge said. Had he not held Big Mac in such high regard he would have been angry with him.

"Eenope. That boat never even docked, let alone given the chance to set sail. Probably never will." Big Mac grunted as he pulled the wagon into the barn. "Ah'm doin' it for myself."

Sarge looked at the barn, brows furrowed, and then to Gary, who was still laying on the ground.

"What are you looking at?"

"What did you do to him?" Sarge asked, stepping towards Gary, intent clear.

"What are you talking about?" Gary asked sincerely, scrambling to get up and away from the menacing stallion.

"You changed him, didn't you?" Sarge hissed, lifting Gary by his throat.

"Your hooves are surprisingly flexible." Gary said jokingly as Sarge lifted him up higher.

"Why did you do it?"

"I didn't do anything." Gary coughed. "He would server me no purpose. If I needed strength, I would have sought the help of O'Malley. If I meant you harm I could end it with the flick of my... hoof."

Sarge released Gary, making him fall to the ground, breathing at his regular pace. Gary looked up at Sarge, giving him an unreadable expression.

"If I find out you're lying." Sarge muttered.

"Yes, yes. Tie me up and what not." Gary waved dismissively. "You really need new material. Have you ever tried your handat knock knock jokes."

"I'll knock something alright..."

"Fussy."

Big Mac came out of the barn with the plow and stopped next to Sarge, taking it off of his back.

"What now?" Gary asked.

"You're going t' plant a row of trees, and within a few years they'll grow nice an' tall." Big Mac said, admiring the land with a gleam in his eye. "Just like the ones next to 'em, they should last a few generations."

"Exhilarating." Gary yawned, then grunted when Sarge hitched the plow to Gary.

"Start pulling." Sarge nodded to Big Mac, who was now walking towards an open portion of the field.

"O shisno! My shisno!" Gary said, feigning a salute.

Sarge rolled his eyes and hit Gary in the side, making him go faster for the slightest moment. Gary walked next to Big Mac, who was standing at the edge of the acres.

"So what do I do?" Gary sighed.

"Ya have t' try pullin' with your neck t' force th' spikes of th' plow t' go into the ground." Big Mac said, showing Gary the proper positioning.

Gary mimicked Big Mac's movement, then stared ahead uneasily.

"Why couldn't have I lived in an active volcano?" Gary asked as he began walking forwad, barely managing to pull the plow behind him. "It would have been much more enjoyable than this..."

"Come on, put some heart into it!" Sarge said, trying to find the right balance between insulting him and encouraging him enough to do something.

"I do not have a heart." Gary huffed as he pulled the plow forward a quarter of an inch.

'You do now, whether you like it or not."

"Right." Gary muttered as he looked at his legs. "I'll need a word with Delta about that when he comes by."

"You do that. In the mean time, work."

Gary opened his mouth to argue, but saw Sarge approaching him to spur him into action again. Before Sarge could do that, Gary began trying to pull it again, slowly making his way across the acres. Sarge and Big Mac escorted him for the ten minute he was doing it. Once they reached the end of the acres, Big Mac stared back a the work and made a strange grunting noise.

"How'd I do?" Gary asked tiredly.

"See for yourself." Sarge said.

Gary turned around to admire the work that he had done, but the lines the plow had made zigzagged slightly, making planting in a straight line impossible in it's current state.

"I commend you on doing just as bad of a job, if not worse, as I expected you to." Sarge laughed, examining the position of the sun. "And longer than it would have taken us too!"

"That is because a farmer I am not." Gary shrugged off the plow defiantly. "Were there a desirable goal that I could achieve from farming, perhaps I would slow the slightest of interests. But alas, farming is just another simple minded job to give the simple minded shisno something to do with their time. Pointless activity if you think about it."

"Oh? Then what benefits are there other than gaining back strength and a feel of independence?" Gary said mockingly, inviting Big Mac to answer, but spoke up before he could. "Exactly. All you shisnos ever think about are making yourselves stronger and better than everyone else, when in reality you will just ll end up in the dirt anyways. What do you have then? Oh, let me guess, you'll provide nutrients for the next generation of trees?"

"Better than my body bein' tossed into a river with a sack over my head." Big Mac hissed, but frowned at himself for acting this way.

"Ooh, so threatening. You still haven't gotten over the fact that I was in your sis-"

"Do not disrespect the Apple family. You disrespect them, you disrespect me." Sarge muttered, then grinned sickly at Gary. "And you know what happens to yellow AIs that disappoint me, don't you?"

"To some degree." Gary muttered reluctantly.

"Good." Sarge laughed roughly. "Y'know, maybe you should get into politics. Being a liar is pretty much the only requirement."

Something about Gary caused Big Mac narrowed his eyes curiously. He appeared to have shifted slightly, but his expression changed dramatically to one of deep thought. Big Mac continued his gaze, trying to find anything he could see in the yellow stallion's eyes.

"What does a shisno know about politics?" Gary snorted suddenly. "Why don't you stick to doing what you know best? Knowing nothing."

Gary shifted again, but this time he was walking away.

"Where are you going?" Sarge asked, getting up to stop him.

"I decided that I wish to help Applejack with the supplies in Ponyville."

"Really?" Sarge muttered, clearly unconvinced.

"Yes, well, I just figured that I'm no good at this farming business, so I would probably have better luck in town."

"What if people ask about you appearance? Tex was hard enough to explain, but I don't think all of you would be able to get away with it."

"I will say I lost it in an unfortunate accident, and that is why my voice is as is and why I am also missing my butt mark."

"Ah don't think ya can just lose your cutie mark like tht." Big Mac grunted.

"Says who?" Gary asked. "As reluctant as I am to believe it, the shisnos of this world seem to believe in magic, so I'll just blame it on that. Nobody will argue, because from what I've heard from Delta, magic still remains largely unexplored."

"Fine, you really want to go?" Sarge asked sincerely. "Take Big Mac with you."

"I can take care of myself you know." Gary murmured, walking ahead out the door.

"If he wants t' let him do it himself, ah say we let him." Big Mac nodded.

Gary turned to Sarge and gave him a condescending smile.

"Just get the hell out of my sight." Sarge sighed. "And don't let me find out you went there just to possess AJ again."

"I would not dream of it."

All Bets Are Off

"I should probably get up and bring Delta and O'Malley to the farm, huh?" Church asked, glaring at Tex as he rubbed his head again.

"No, you need rest still." Twilight said testily.

"Ugh, why could't it have been O'Malley that got hit? Would have been easier to bring him that way." Church muttered, trying to get off the bed.

"I think Twilight's right, you need rest." Tex said, pushing him back. "As funny as it was, you still got hit in the face by a damn fireball."

"I've been hit by worse, you included. Besides, the wicked don't get any rest, right?" Church chuckled, rolling off the bed.

"Good point." Tex looked at Twilight and shrugged.

"And right now none of you are down there watching O'Malley, I need to make sure he hasn't split."

"Delta's down there with him."

"Delta is easy to distract." Church said, before walking into the door and falling on his ass.

"Might want to watch where you're going." Tex chuckled, helping him off the ground.

"Tried to open it with magic, slipped my mind that I'm not the best shot." Church sighed, then looked at Tex. "Maybe you should be training me."

"Sorry, I've seen your skills. Can't help a lost cause."

"Lovely." Church muttered, swinging the door open. "Hey Delta, you-"

"Yes, Omega and I are both here." Delta called out.

"Good." Church said as he walked out the door and made his way down the stairs.

Twilight shared a look with Tex and shrugged. Twilight motioned for Spike to follow them and then went out the door and made her way down the stairs, where she saw Tucker sitting with Rainbow Dash at the table. She then saw Church staring silently at Delta. Church turned to her and raised a questioning brow, and she responded with a shrug, unsure of what he is doing.

"I am trying to establish a connection to the Epsilon unit." Delta said quietly, eyes forced shut.

"No connection? Maybe it's because you're inside?" Church asked with a laugh.

"No, I thought that it was because I was inside the ruins, but I checked when I was out of it. It is most odd."

"Well it's obviously broken since the others managed to get in." Church shrugged.

"Perhaps, but I do not believe it to be broken. If it were, we would not be talking right now." Delta sighed when Church opened his mouth. "No, it is not in a sleeping state either."

"Maybe you're not going at it right." O'Malley suggested, looking at Rainbow Dash. "Maybe we have to eliminate all the inhabitants of this world."

"What?" Rainbow Dash said nervously, taking a defensive step back.

"How would that help?" Delta asked, looking at Rainbow Dash contemplatively.

"We'll never know if we don't try!"

"O'Malley, shut up." Church said loudly, smiling at Rainbow Dash. "Don't worry about him, his bark is worse and a lot more long winded than his bite."

"I guessed as much." Rainbow Dash smirked, still a small look of worry on her face. "But his words are a little bad. And by a little I mean a lot."

"Yeah, you'll get used to it." Tucker said.

"So how was your nap?" The Necronomicon asked, voice muffled from the bookshelf.

"Better than how you look." Church muttered, remembering what enticed him to get up.

"Aw, I know you don't mean that..." The Necronomicon said suavely. He then muttered something under his breath and coughed. "If you could see my cover right now, I would be winking at you."

"Right." Church rolled his eyes. "Won't that other book get jealous of you?"

"She's not a book, she's a novel." The Necronomicon corrected him. "And an adventurous one at that. Why just the other day she went and tried to recover an old, dangerous artifact that nobody dares speak the name of and nobody knows where it is located."

"Did she find it?"

"No, she told me I have to wait until later to find out." The Necronomicon sighed sadly.

"Is it the g-spot?" Tucker asked innocently. Rainbow Dash struck him on the back of his head. "Son of a bitch!"

"No, she's a secretive one."

"I heard keeping secrets is bad for a relationship." Church said.

"I suppose, but I have my fair share of them." The Necronomicon said and once again coughed. "If I had arms I would be shrugging."

"Uh-huh." Church muttered, turning to Delta. "Well, now that I'm up and no longer on fire, I think we should go."

"You know, I could use a body that spouts flames." O'Malley said, the corners of his eyes darkened by his pupil as he eyed Spike.

"Not on my watch." Church, Tex, and Twilight all said flatly.

"Spoilsports." O'Malley scowled. "Though he is small and squishy. Doesn't help with the fact that he's purple."

"What's wrong with purple?" Twilight and Spike asked coldly.

"Everything. It is an annoying color. The only good thing about purple is that on the inside it has red. Bloody red." O'Malley said with an evil leer as he turned to Twilight. "I could show it to you if you want."

"Bad O'Malley!" Church said, hitting him over the head with a rolled up paper. "No threatening anybody."

"What? I am not a dog!" O'Malley snapped, snagging the paper out of Church's hoof. He turned to Delta and glowered. "I'm not a dog, right Delta?"

"Perhaps not." Delta agreed. "But negative reinforcement is a common-"

"Shut up you incessant fool!" O'Malley hissed, throwing the newspaper at Delta, who simply tilted his head slightly to avoid it. "Gah, stand still when I try to hit you! It is very rude of you to move out of the way like that!"

"I apologize." Delta said, bowing his head.

"Why can't you be more like your brother?" Tex asks icily.

"You're not my mother!" O'Malley screamed before kicking a chair to the floor, and soon began arguing with Tex.

"Hey, uh, Twi?" Spike asked quietly, covering his mouth with his hand. "Does that guy seem sort of... off?"

"Yes, he does." Twilight replies just as quietly, keeping her stare on him. "To be honest, Church says he'll be the easiest one to watch, but I'm not too sure about that."

"What are you two talking about?" O'Malley growled, turning his head to the pair.

"Nothing." Spike said quickly, in a nervous voice. when O'Malley narrowed his glare at him. "We were just, uh, talking about how awesome it must be to be as fun-" O'Malley took a step towards him. "Violent! I mean as violent as you!"

"Ah, good." O'Malley smiled, then frowned at Delta. "Why can't you be as supportive as this small, purple shrimp?"

"Because he's the only one that feels threatened by you?" Tucker asked with a chuckle.

"Yes, well, he should be." O'Malley said quietly, then shook his head. "No matter, are we going to this farm or what?"

"You want to go to the farm?" Twilight asked.

"As long as it is away from you and the smaller, purple being, then yes." O'Malley muttered as he kicked the door open, now looking at Delta and church. "Let's go, we're burning daylight when we could be burning down an orphanage! An orphanage for kittens! That have cancer!" He paused and turned to Twilight. "Do you have any cancer stricken kitten orphanages around here?"

"No."

"Hmph." O'Malley grunted sourly, walking out the door. "I guess a regular orphanage will have to do..."

"See you guys later." Church said to the others as he walked out the door, looking at Delta. "Come on, we need to make sure he doesn't burn anything on the way"

"But he does not have the means of lighting something on fire." Delta said quietly, when Church shot him a look. He nodded and followed him out the door.

"So how much do you want to bet that something will go wrong?" Tucker asked. "I'm willing to bet five bits that someone will be dead within the next two days thanks to him."

"I'll take that bet." Tex said, shaking his hoof briefly. "Does it count if I help him kill Grif?"

"Pft, I said two days, not two minutes."

"What if I get Sarge to help him then? He's been trying for years, so I can't see him helping O'Malley that much."

"If anything he'd probably prevent O'Malley from killing him so he could do it himself." Tucker laughed.

"Damn, Sarge and I both want the same thing." Tex muttered, then smiled at Tucker. "Five bits that I can get him before Sarge?"

"Deal." Tucker said, shaking her hoof again.

Turning a Blind Eye

"I was thinking eventually we could set up a bunch of targets, or maybe ask Rarity is she has any mannequins or whatever she calls them laying around." Tex said, sitting at the table with the Necronomicon out.

"Why?" Spike asked.

"We need to see how fast you could take out a group of horses."

"I thought we agreed I wouldn't hurt anybody." Spike mumbled.

"You're not. You're hurting mannnequins. It never hurts to be prepared, right?"

"I guess so." Spike shrugged, scribbling some words down on a piece of paper.

The door to Church's room swung open and Twilight came down the stairs, where she saw Tex talking with Spike. She smiled weakly at them and trotted up to the table. She bit her lip as she climbed onto her chair, where she nodded politely at them. Tex made eye contact with her, but Twilight looked away almost instantly. Tex then made eye contact with Spike and they nodded at each other

"How's he holding up?" Tex asked.

"Not so well." Twilight replied honestly after a few seconds of deliberating. "His headaches are getting worse. Almost every time he speaks it hurts him. I'm going to schedule an appointment with Doctor Stable in an hour when his clinic is open for anyone without an appointment."

"I didn't mean to hurt him." Spike said quietly.

"I know you didn't, Spike." Twilight sighed. "It's not your fault."

"It's mine." Tex laughed sadly.

"It was an accident."

"Yeah, an accident caused by me." Tex muttered, then saw Twilight frowning at her. "I know you're trying to make me not blame myself, thanks for that, but I know when things are my fault."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, occasionally staring up the stairs as if they were expecting Church to come out at any moment. Eventually, Tex grunted and got out of her chair.

"Where are you going?" Spike asked.

"I'm going to talk to him."

"But what about-"

"It can wait a few minutes."

Spike and Twilight nodded at her and Tex trotted up the stairs. Once the door to Church's room shut, somebody knocked on the front door. Twilight opened her mouth to ask who it was, but she was cut short when they answered her before she could say anything.

"Delta."

"Come in." Twilight said loudly, but Delta had already opened the door and was in front of her within a second.

"Hello." Delta smiled.

"How is it going?" Twilight asked as Delta took a seat.

"It is going well. O'Malley seems to be doing well, so I asked Applejack and she said that she wouldn't mind if I went to go grab Theta and Sigma, but I needed to stop by here first before I did so."

"To check on Church?"

"No, he is in proper care already. I know if anyone were to look after him it would be best if it was you."

"Oh, thank you." Twilight said appreciatively.

"What I needed to come here for was to ask if I may bring the Necronomicon with me."

Twilight's eyes flickered and she took a step back, not wanting to let anybody read it unless they had to.

"I understand your concerns, but I cannot let you have such an insightful book and let it go to waste. I know you wish to understand it more, and I believe Epsilon would as well."

"Why would he? If he wanted any questions answered he knows he could come to me."

"Of course, but you do not have the answer to everything."

"Well-"

"I am not remarking your intelligence, merely bringing up the fact that the Necronomicon has been around much longer than you have. He understands this world better than you, and possibly more than any living pony or sentient being. With his help I could learn so much. Certainly you of all ponies can understand that?"

"Yes, I know that feeling." Twilight nodded slowly, eyes shifting towards the Necronomicon.

"Trust me when I say I have no desire to use it for ill intentions." Delta bowed his head.

"I don't know. We were far away from civilization when Church first used it."

"Your concerns match up with mine then. I was planning on bringing the Necronomicon with me to the ruins with Church, but-"

"Why?" Twilight asked quickly, not wanting Church to go out in his condition.

"I wished to attempt to bring back some more of the fragments."

"Uh, just going to chip in before Twilight answers." The Necronomicon coughed. "No can do on that part. Bringing back a spirit requires a host to take over. Those statues that were in the catacombs? Yeah, those were real ponies turned to stone, not just something put there for decoration. They were really quite the evil and violent type too."

"And you didn't mention this when we used a revival spell near them?" Twilight asked.

"It... slipped my mind." The Necronomicon muttered impishly. "You have to admit, you would have liked and meeting ponies from the past."

"Not if they're sociopaths!" Twilight said loudly. "I've only ever had to deal with two semi-sociopath ponies, but one, Trixie, was just a showboat and the other, Tex, is now a friend."

"What are you talking about? You have been looking after a sociopath for months! You and the other girls!" The Necronomicon stated abrasively.

Twilight's face became blank and she looked at Delta.

"He does technically have a point." Delta shrugged. "We all know Epsilon isn't the most innocent of ponies, nor is he the most stable. You were the only pony that he has ever truly confided in, Twilight, so naturally because of his past you believe his antisocial behavior is well deserved, and while that may be true, you cannot say flat out that he is inclined to talk to many others without becoming angry."

"I know Church can be a little rough around the edges, but he would never willing hurt somepony unless they really deserved it."

"You give that stallion too much credit." The Necronomicon laughed. "I think he would willing hurt somepony who didn't deserve it, you just have to press the right buttons."

"You're wrong. Church may not be completely sane. He may not be the most likable stallion either, but he look at him. He's been through everything this world as well as his own had to offer, and he still hasn't hurt anyone. If he hasn't done it yet, I don't think he is able to."

"Not so." Delta said with a slightly saddened tone. "Epsilon is far more docile than the Alpha. The Alpha is-"

"But he isn't the Alpha." Twilight said flatly. "He also has friends he knows he can count on now."

"That is true. In the past, someone he could trust is one thing he didn't have when he needed it..." Delta said quietly, thinking of this. "I suppose you are correct in a way. The chances of him becoming violent are significantly lower than they were before he came here. But I believe if something happens to him that happened in the past, it could reopen certain wounds."

"Then why do you want want to bring the Necronomicon with you?"

"You did not let me finish. I meant to say but, because of what I just said, I wish to take the Necronomicon with me, away from Epsilon."

"What's wrong with me?" The Necronomicon snapped harshly.

"You are powerful. I believe Epsilon may eventually wish to use you more. He is, as others put it, broken. His mind is missing certain memories. It would take something extremely powerful to bring those memories back to him, but I fear remembering those memories would be more or less bad. Not as catastrophic as metastability, but his mind could very well collapse. You have enough power to do so." Delta said adamantly, making Twilight bite her tongue nervously. Delta noted this and smiled feebly at her. "But that is if we let him uncover those memories."

"Fine. If it helps him, do what you have to." Twilight nodded her head hesitantly.

"Hey, don't I get a say in this?" The Necronomicon hissed as Twilight levitated him and put him in a bag. "Guess not..."

"I thank you for entrusting me with it." Delta smiled as Twilight strapped the bag on Delta's back. "I will try to bring him back in a few hours. I would also recommend you bring Church to a-"

"Walk in clinic today in less than an hour." Twilight nodded gratefully.

"Ah, that is good news." Delta nodded as he walked out the door. "I will be back with the others soon. If all goes right, then their presence should be easily explained without expecting them to turn a blind eye to them."

Twilight opened her mouth to ask what he meant, but he had already closed the door and would be unable to hear her.

Plans In Motion

"Theta, what is it you are planning?" Sigma asked as Theta hastily slammed the door to the barn open, shedding some light on a certain easily enraged stallion.

"Why must you be so insistent on ruining my lovely dreams about wholesale slaughter?" O'Malley asked snappishly.

"O'malley, where did Applejack put the bits of tree that you smashed?" Theta asked, unphased by O'Malley.

"In that corner of the room." O'Malley murmured curiously, pointing to the left corner next to the entrance. "Why?"

"You'll see." Theta shook his head, then looked at Sigma and nodded at him.

"Do you know what he's doing?" O'Malley asked Sigma as Theta rushed over to the pile of lumber and began sorting through it.

"Not a clue." Sigma muttered, then walked with O'Malley to inspect the little colt.

"Too thick. Too short. Too splintery." Theta sighed, throwing large pieces of wood over his back.

Sigma grabbed one of the pieces from the pile and looked at it with a curious eye. It was about the length of Theta's body, and it's width was slightly smaller than that of Theta. He glanced at Theta, noticing a small smile on his muzzle as he glanced about the pieces of tree. Sigma coughed when he realized what his brother was doing, but Theta continued scavenging.

"I believe this one is acceptable, brother..."

"Let me see." Theta said, snapping it out of Sigma's hooves. A gleam appeared in Theta's eye as he smiled at Sigma. "Perfect."

"The shape is good, but I'm afraid you don't have any wheels." Sigma mused as he looked at the smaller chunks of wood. "Perhaps we could-"

"What are you making?" O'Malley asked, angry that he had to sit there and guess.

"Theta is making a-" Sigma stopped himself and looked at the pile of small chunks again. he grabbed four of the smaller pieces and tossed them at O'Malley. "Do you think you can do me a favor?"

"Depends. What kind of favor? Do I get to be violent?"

"Yes, actually." Sigma said and smiled as O'Malley beamed. "I want you to make those into small wheels. Do whatever you must to do so. Bite, stomp, yell at them if that works."

"I see what it is you're doing." O'Malley nodded slowly. "But why don't you say it out loud, you know, just to get it out there."

"We're making a skateboard for Theta." Sigma sighed, putting the long piece of wood next to the smaller pieces.

"I knew that." O'Malley grunted, then began pushing the two small colts out of the barn. "Give me a few seconds. Seven and a half max."

O'Malley lightly booted his brethren out the barn door and slammed it shut. Less than a millisecond later, O'Malley began letting out an extravagant war-cry. Theta turned to Sigma to ask what O'Malley was doing, but saw by the small smirk on Sigma's face that O'Malley was indeed helping them. As Theta turned back to the door, it opened up extremely violently and O'Malley pushed a pure wooden skateboard out the door.

"Where did you get the screws?" Theta asked as he grabbed the skateboard, both out of curiosity and out of fear.

"That would be telling." O'Malley said, putting his hoof on his nose.

"Riiiight." Theta said, slowly backing away from him. He put the skateboard back on the ground and put both of his right legs onto it and shifted his weight to that side of his body, testing how much it could handle. Satisfied, he stomped on the back end of it, sending it flipping into the air, where he grabbed onto it with his teeth. "Thanks for the help."

"Not at all. Next time you need any work like that, don't hesitate to make me angry so I get better at it."

"I must say, you even surprised me with how quickly you did that."

"I take my violence seriously, thank you very much." O'Malley huffed, then slammed the door shut.

"If not his love of damaging everything, you must admire him for how well he does what he does." Sigma said quietly.

"Yeah. Now come on." Theta muffled through the skateboard as he set off on his path to get back to the girls.

Sigma nodded and quickly trotted after Theta, making a short trip to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. When they got there, Scootaloo was sitting at the bottom of the ramp, looking at her scooter. The other two crusaders were sitting on the ramp, simply watching Scootaloo as she made small adjustments to her vehicle.

"I thought you guys said you'd be an hour." Applebloom said with a smile when she saw the two Sidekicks walking towards them.

"They probably gave up on what they were doing when they realized I would win." Scootaloo said with an amused giggle.

"Uh, I don't think so." Sweetie Belle said quietly, tilting her head to see what Theta was holding.

Scootaloo looked away from her scooter, intending to only glance at him, but paused when she realized what he had in his mouth.

"Like it?" Theta asked after spitting it onto the ground.

"Where did you get it?"

"That would be telling." Theta smirked. "How much longer are you going to be fiddling with that thing?"

"I wasn't fiddling, I was just handicapping myself to let you win."

"I thought you said you were tightening the wheels so they made you go straighter and faster." Sweetie Belle muttered, and Scootaloo slowly looked at her with an agitated expression. "What?"

"Nothing." Scootaloo said thinly, but shook it off and smiled at Theta. "Ready to go?"

"I was waiting on you."

"Yeah, well-"

"I believe the protocol is that smack talk happens during the race, not before." Sigma interrupted as he turned around and began making his way out of the orchard.

"You heard him." Scootaloo said, hopping to all fours. "Let's get this race started. If we can even call it that."

Theta shook his head before grabbing the board with his teeth. He then trotted with Applebloom and Sweetie Belle after Sigma and Scootaloo. It took them less than a minute to get out of the orchard, and when they did Scootaloo picked up her speed and went straight towards the gate. Theta darted past Sigma and caught up with Scootaloo, where he put his skateboard on the ground and began testing it again.

"So, uh, when did this become just about them? I mean, weren't we all supposed to race?" Sweetie Belle asked as they reached Sigma.

"We woulda lost if we went up against 'em." Applebloom shrugged.

"I guess, but-"

"I believe it is good that we are not participating." Sigma said as he walked with the other two crusaders to the gate. "This is one of the few things Theta has no trouble with. Even so, it would be best if he only has one opponent for now. We don't want to overwhelm him."

"You guys counting down yet?" Scootaloo asked loudly from the gate.

"So where are we racing to anyways?" Theta asked as Scootaloo adjusted her helmet.

"First we start here at Sweet Apple Acres. After that we go to Fluttershy's cottage, then go under Dash's home, then to the Carousel Boutique, followed by Sugarcube Corner and we'll finish at the library. Got it?"

"I don't know where all those places are." Theta said quietly.

"Doesn't matter since I'm going to win anyways." Scootaloo smirked. "Basically we just follow the dirt path to Fluttershy's house, and from there you'll see a cloud home, that's Rainbow Dash's place. Then from there it's a straight shot through the clear center of town to hit the boutique, the bakery and then the library."

"Okay, I think I got it." Theta nodded.

"On your marks!" Applebloom shouted.

"Hey, Theta." Scootaloo said, holding up her hoof to Theta. "Good luck."

"Get set." Sweetie Belle sang.

"Thanks." Theta smiled, reaching for her hoof to shake it.

"Go." Sigma said with a strange tone.

As Theta neared her hoof, she pulled it away and zipped down the path on her scooter, leaving an unbalanced Theta to get back on his skateboard. Once he did he quickly set off after his speedy opposition. Applebloom shared a look with Sweetie Belle, then followed Sigma as he began walking out the gate to go to the library to see how this played out.

Silver Tongued Devils

"What do you wish to discuss?" Celestia inquired, staring curiously at the fiery colt.

"Certain matters regarding your word on the subject of when you can send them back." Sigma chuckled, beginning to walk around Celestia. She did not scoff at his size, for she knew by the way he held talked his intellect made up for his stature a hundred fold. "Firstly, let's go over the basics. Upon entry of the unit, you said you would send the back once the Reds and Blues found their true selves. Am I right so far?"

"You are." Celestia nodded slowly as she watched him circle her like a shark.

"Good." Sigma resumed instantly. "Every time you have talked to him, what did you refer to him as? Epsilon or Church?"

"Church."

"That's what I thought." Sigma smirked. "So in your mind, you told Church that once he got his Cutie Mark with the others you would send him back, correct?"

"Yes..."

"Well then, it is to my pleasure to tell you that you are wrong. Church did not get his Cutie Mark." Sigma said, staring intently into Celestia's eyes. "Epsilon did."

The room then fell even more silent than it already was, as if everyone in the room had stopped breathing to listen to Sigma. Sigma, amused by this, continued pacing around the goddess without fear, knowing she would not do anything to him as he had not done anything wrong.

"Go on." Celestia said reluctantly, patience quickly draining due to Sigma's arrogance.

"Gladly." Sigma smiled brazenly, as if she could not touch him. "Because of your words, you cannot send Epsilon back now."

"Oh? He has found his talent for memory, so why shouldn't I? He has also proved to be aggressive towards me and I simply feel that he could be aggressive towards others in the future."

"As I said, you told Church you would send him back when he got his mark." Sigma said, stopping between Church and Celestia, positively beaming. "Well, I'm as much of Church as Epsilon is. His creativity to be precise, and I have not yet discovered my talent."

As he said that, a green, calculating unicorn walked into the library, Celestia tilted her head curiously, wondering if either Twilight or Church had planned this, but the looks of surprise on their faces said otherwise.

"Technically, I am Church as well. A piece of him, but his name is my own as much as it is Epsilon's." Delta said as he stopped on Sigma's left side, looking curiously at Celestia who remained silent. "I am Delta, and I am the Alpha's - or as you know him, Church's - logic."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Church. Church who? Church's funny bone." Gary said coyly as he walked into the room, only halting when he was on Delta's left. "But you may call me Gary, or Neighoming if you prefer. I am Mayor Mare's assistant."

"I'm Church too." Theta said quietly, full on trotting into the room, taking a spot next on Sigma's right side, sharing a quick glance with him before turning back to the sun controlling pony. "I'm Church's empathy. I'm also his childlike personality, and I haven't found out what my talent is either."

"I am Sparticus!" O'Malley growled as he jumped through the door, landing next to Theta. "And I am a piece of Church too! His rage, and baby, let me tell you, you would not like to see me when I'm angry."

Eta and Iota then walked in and separated briefly, going on either end of the line just to stare seriously at Princess Celestia. Sigma turned to Twilight and smiled softly at her, and in return she smiled back, blinking back a few tears of appreciation while Church smirked at Sigma's ploy.

"As you can see, we are all Church and only a couple of us have our special talents, while the rest of us do not." Sigma said, smirking carelessly at the Princess. "By sending him back now, you will be going back on your word for Church hasn't entirely gotten his talents figured out. Now we are at an impasse. Epsilon wishes to take the fall, and since you cannot kill him nor send him back, it seems there are only two options for you; you let us do as you told us to do by getting our Cutie Marks."

"And the second choice?"

"Banish us out of Equestria." Sigma shrugged as if it was nothing, then looked up pensively. "Though that seems a bit cruel considering nobody was fatally or permanently injured, especially when you see just how many opportunities arose to do so for us. Omega, Gamma and myself know what it is to be cruel, and we could have chosen to be so, as is our programming, but we didn't. The choice is yours."

Twilight and Church blinked dumbly at the line of fragments standing between them and Celestia. The Princess looked from one end of the, starting with Eta and ending with Iota. Time felt as if it passed at a greatly reduced rate. What was just a few seconds felt like hours as she thought it through. Her eyes then rested on her student, who stared at her in return with eyes filled with hope.

"Well?" Sigma asked pleasantly.

"Very well." Celestia said with a reluctant sigh. "I suppose I'd just be doing more worse than good by banishing you."

"Excellent." Sigma smiled, then felt an odd sensation inside him. he twisted his head to the side to look behind him, when a small symbol that appeared on his flank caught his eye. It was the head of a snake, baring it's fangs, smiling widely while sticking out it's tongue. A tongue which gave off a silver sheen. "Would you look at that."

"Another one down, it seems." Celestia said quietly with a small, forced smile. "Church, and I mean the Epsilon one, I would like to speak with you in private."

"I am not interested."

"I am afraid that it is not up for debate." Celestia grunted, and in an instant she transported Church and herself miles away, ending up in front of a familiar spot to Church.

"So you noticed, huh?" Church muttered when he looked at the empty pedestal in the Canterlot Gardens. A pedestal which used to have a statue of two pegasi standing bravely on top of it.

"No, Luna did." Celestia sighed.

"Is that all you came here to talk to me about?" Church asked stiffly.

"No, it isn't." Celestia said quietly, then looked over either side of her flank and began walking down the path, nodding at Church to follow, and he did so with extreme reluctance. "I want to talk to you about Twilight."

"What about her?"

"You care about her, correct?"

"She's been the only one I think I've been able to trust in a while, and she hasn't killed me yet, so I'd say yeah, I do care about her. Why?"

"I want you to stop."

"What?" Church asked flatly, coming to an immediate halt.

"I'm not going to force you to leave by banishing you. I'm just asking you to leave Twilight alone."

'Why?"

"Because I don't want to see any harm to come to her."

"Just because you think you're right doesn't mean you are." Church growled, taking a step towards her. "After all the shit I've gone through in my life, I think I deserve a little fucking peace."

"Why, what makes you deserve it?" Celestia countered, and Church shook his head. "From what I've seen, you've barely done anything for anypony. Always making others join you and risk their lives for you to get peace, when in turn you don't even realize that you're making it so they don't get peace either."

"Uh, I was under the impression that you met the others." Church said sarcastically. "They're all idiots who have given me nothing but problems since the day I went into that fucking canyon!"

"Church, you may be immortal, but you have not been alive anywhere near as long as I have." Celestia interrupted in an angry tone. "My entire life has been nothing but problems. My seat wasn't gained over night, nor have I been given any breaks. For a thousand years I felt grief, and to this day I still feel regret. I just don't want to see someone feel the same way for the rest of their immortal life."

"What do you think I'm going to do? Send her to the moon like you did with your sister? Oh, well done on that, by the way."

"What, do you think I didn't try talking to her?" Celestia snapped. "She was my sister. If there was any other way I could have talked her out of it, then I would have found a way. It was my only option."

"There are always other options." Church disagreed. "You just jumped onto the first one to make it easier on yourself. You didn't care about your sister, you cared about how those you watched saw you."

"How dare you say that..."

"I can do it easily because I'm not afraid of cowards. There must have been signs of her about to do what she did before it happened, and as her sister you should have fucking noticed, but no, you were being a god damn ignorant bitch who didn't have time for that."

"Church, I would stop talking..."

"Why, because I'm getting too close to the truth? Is that it?"

"The reason I want you to leave Twilight alone is because you corrupt everything you touch." Celestia said harshly, and Church blinked stupidly at her. "You will hurt her, Church. You already are hurting her. Every day she sees you, and every day she feels pain by seeing you. I just want that to stop. She doesn't deserve what you're giving her."

"I'm not hurting her..."

"Aren't you?" Celestia asked. "You know she loved you, she still does, but she tries to be your friend thinking she can live with it. What I don't think you fully realize is just how impossible it is to stop loving somepony dear to you."

"She'll get over it. She's smart and she knows that my heart belongs to Tex and there is nothing anybody can do about it. Just because you think-"

"Enough, Church. If you don't care enough about Twilight to let her be happy by letting her move on, then who am I to argue?" Celestia asked him, then lowered her head. "I just hope that it isn't too late for her."

"Fuck you." Church muttered and he was instantly transported back to the library. He looked around tiredly and saw that the fragments had left, the Necronomicon was nowhere to be seen, and the only one in the room besides Tex and Twilight was a nervous Spike, twiddling his claws as he avoided looking at Church.

"Church, you're back." Tex said with surprise. "What happened?"

Church shot Tex a strange look, then shook his head in disgust and began heading up the stairs.

"I guess something bad then." Tex said quietly, then looked at Twilight. "I wonder what she said to him."

"We'll probably never know." Twilight said reluctantly, then nodded at Spike. "Spike, I think we need to send Celestia a letter."

"Are you sure?" Spike croaked. "I mean, I don't think I want to, but if you really think you have to..."

"I do, Spike."

"Okay." Spike nodded, grabbing a quill and piece of paper from a desk.

"Do you want me to leave?" Tex asked.

"No, I might need you after this."

"Ready when you are, Twi." Spike said quietly.

"Dear Princess Celestia, I know it might be too late, and I want you to know you are well within your right to be angry at me, but I still feel the need to apologize." Twilight said slowly, carefully thinking about her words. "I should have told you about how Church and Pinkie were doing and asked you how to help them get through it, rather than try to bend the laws of universe to my own agenda. Trust me, it sounds a lot darker on paper than it did in my head at the time. It's just that I haven't experienced the death of a close friend before, and though I didn't know Caboose very well, I still felt as if a part of me was torn away. I guess I just figured it must have felt infinitely worse for them. But using magic is my talent, and I felt I should try to use it to help them. I also understand if you don't wish for me to be your student anymore. Your student is supposed to be somepony you can trust, and I'm not even sure I can trust myself to be that somepony, so if you feel that I no longer fit the role, I will not hold any ill feelings towards you. Your now questionably faithful student,Twilight Sparkle."

"Twilight, are you sure you want to do that?" Tex asked, taking a step beside her. "I mean, we could try and pin it on Grif, maybe she could just banish him."

"Tex..."

"I was only kidding." Tex said quietly. "Mostly."

"I'm sure." Twilight nodded dejectedly. "Just because I'm one of her best students doesn't mean I deserve any better treatment than anypony else."

"Alright." Tex said as Spike blew fire onto the letter, sending it to Celestia. "How long do you think it will take."

"Barely a minute. Probably less under the circumstances." Twilight sighed as she fell silent.

They sat in the room in total silence, waiting for a letter in return. After twenty seconds of waiting, Spike belched and a letter shot out of his mouth and landed on the table. Twilight stared at the letter as if it was a death threat, unable to move as long as she was looking at it.

"Are you going to read it?" Tex asked after a few minutes, walking towards the letter to give it to Twilight.

"I don't think I can." Twilight admitted.

"Want me to do it for you?"

"I'd like that." Twilight smiled weakly, then coughed when Tex reached for it. "Just don't tell me the specifics, just say whether or not she's mad."

Tex nodded and unrolled the parchment and read it silently to herself, then tilted her head at it curiously.

"What is it?" Twilight asked quietly. "Is she mad?"

"I'm not sure..."

"She isn't always too specific about how she's feeling, so I understand that you may not-"

"No, I mean, Princess Celestia didn't send this letter."

"What?" Twilight asked, surprised. "Who sent it? What does it say?"

"Dear Twilight Sparkle, the Princess isn't in at the moment, please leave a message after the beep." Tex muttered, then lowered the paper and looked at Twilight. "Then it's signed by some guy named Discord."

The Reluctant and the Angry

"Let's see, who should we look at next?" Discord asked as he looked through the maze, no longer interested in watching Tucker as he had already gotten past the fun part. He then turned and raised his right brow at the group. "Simmons? No, he isn't very interesting. Maybe Sarge? Ugh, he still hasn't gotten to his scenario yet... I guess Grif is nearing his spot. Any objections?"

Church and the girls were currently sitting still, not answering Discord, but rather watched him with contempt while Caboose bobbed his head curiously.

"Hmph, fine, Grif it is." Discord mumbled, dragging his claws against the surface of the ball to bring up the image of Grif. As he did that, a few light bulbs appeared over all of their heads and flickered into life. "You all need to lighten up a bit."

"So. Damn. Hungry." Grif pouted as he walked around aimlessly, opening up every door near him.

After a few minutes of mindless moving, he opened up yet another door to find himself in yet another completely white room. Something was off about this one though that caused his jaw to drop. It was a rather large room, but some of the other rooms he had went through were varying in size, so that wasn't what made him react.

There was a bed sitting right next to a warm fire with a tray of treats sitting on top of it.

Grif squealed with delight and ran through the snow, letting his stomach take control of his body, not even believing for a second that it was a trap. As he neared the warmth of the fire, he realized how cold it was. He closed his eyes and let out a content whistle as he looked at the plate of cookies.

"Oreos." Grif whispered in a shaky voice. "Is that really you?"

As Grif pulled the bed closer to the fire, he lowered his mouth onto the plate and grabbed several of the black and white cookies with his teeth.

"It is you!" Grif sighed happily as he jumped onto the bed and put the plate on his stomach. "Oh, promise you'll never leave me again."

"This is his scenario?" Church asked. "Seems sort of... simple."

"I know, I can't imagine how difficult it must be!" Caboose chipped.

"Three, two, one." Discord said slowly, smile creeping onto his face.

"Grif, is that you?" A familiar, angry voice shouted from farther out on the frozen lake.

"Tex?" Church asked, trotting up to the ball, eyes serious as he looked at the icy pond. He quickly found that Tex was standing on top of the ice, weights strapped around her legs while cracks started darting towards her.

"Oh please, I can hear your heart beating from here. Do you really think I'd put one of the Elements in direct danger?" Discord rolled his eyes. "No, she is in no real danger. She will simply sink to the bottom and Grif will fail the challenge, then they will be transported back here."

"No they won't." Fluttershy said in a persuasive tone of voice.

"Oh?"

"Grif might be lazy when it suits him, but I know deep down he will-"

"Grif, you lazy son of a bitch, get over here and help me!" Tex snapped over the sound of the cracking ice.

"What? Me help you?" Grif asked with a hoarse laugh as he shoveled more oreos down his throat. "In your dreams!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Maybe because you're an undeniable cunt!"

"I wasn't that bad to you."

"Oh? Then what were all those times you kicked me in the nuts, huh?" Grif asked as Tex watched as the ice cracked around her. "Does that ring any bells? Because it does for me. I don't think that's the opposite of being bad to me."

"Maybe if you weren't such an ass I'd leave you alone."

"You see, now you're just arguing in my favor."

"Grif, stop being such a baby!" Tex growled as water came out from under the cracks.

Grif then felt a wave of déjà vu pass through him, causing a familiar scene play out in front of him.

"Sis, when you said we should go ice skating, I didn't think you meant we'd come to this shit-tacular little pond." Grif muttered as he tied his ice skates up until they were nearly cutting off the circulation to his feet.

"Come on, Dex. Stop being such a baby and join me." Sister laughed as she jumped onto the ice and began sliding around.

"Sis, don't you think you should test it a bit? You don't know how dangerous that is..." Grif muttered, taking a shaky step onto the frozen lake. Grif then heard the small sound of ice cracking under his foot as he applied pressure, so he retreated his foot instantly. "Yeah, we should definitely find a different place."

"Who do you think you are. Mom?"

"No, but she left me in charge of you on account of you being an airhead." Grif grunted, holding his hand up to her. "Now seriously, come on. Mom'll be pissed at me if you catch hypothermia..."

"Make me." Sister quipped.

"Listen, we can just split the bill to an actual skating rink and-"

"Why pay for what you can get for free?"

"Fine, then I'll pay." Grif muttered. "Come on, I don't want you to do anything stupid."

"Oh yeah, so you don't want me to do this?" Sister asked as she jumped and slid across the ice again, but this time brought up her right leg to a one hundred and eighty degree angle. "Like that, huh? Is this what you don't want to see?"

"Sis!" Grif barked, pointing to the ground now. "Seriously, get! The fuck! Over here!"

"Why don't you come and get me, fatty!"

"I'm not fat... I'm barely even chubby." Grif mumbled, patting his tummy.

"Yeah, well then what are you worried about, chubs?"

"Sis... I'm warning you..."

"That's what they said in Sex Ed about wearing protection, well guess what?" Sister asked with a scoff. "I never used it once and I'm still-"

Grif raised his brow and leaned forward, wondering why his sister stopped mid-sentence. Grif watched as Sister looked down, instantly noticing her expression became one of shock when she saw the ice give way underneath her, making her sink into the water.

"Kaikaina!" Grif yelled, dropping the food he was eating to the ground. He quickly hopped off the bed and darted towards the sinking Tex.

Tex's eyes darted to the water above her, holding her mouth shut as tight as she could to not allow any air through as she began sinking deeper and deeper into the water. Eventually, she could not hold her breath any longer and opened her mouth to breathe, filling her mouth with water. She tried to spit the water out, but if anything it just made it worse as everything began going black.

Grif flew well above the water and nosed dived as fast as he could, slicing through the water to catch up with his quickly sinking sister. Grif pressed forward, and began to swim as fast as he could to catch her. Feeling the air starting to slip out of his mouth, he just barely managed to grab onto her and instantly spun around in the water and began flapping, barely managing to lift her with the weights. Shaking his head clear, remembering who he was trying to save he began kicking his legs and flapping his wings as fast as he could. He then flew out of the water and darted straight towards land, where he dropped her to the ground and fell next to her, gasping for breath.

"Of fucking course." Grif muttered when he saw who he saved. "Leave it to me to rescue the one person in the world besides Sarge who I should never bother saving. I guess I shouldn't expect to be hearing a thank you, should I?"

But Tex's eyes remained closed. Grif stared at her, not breathing, and that filled him with a slim degree of relief. But then when he focused on her some more, all he could see was Sister laying in front of him, lungs filled with water.

"I warned you this would happen! Seriously, how the fuck did you survive that long down there? You're lucky you're not dead!" Grif yelled at his sibling who was shivering on the bank next to the pond while the ambulance's lights flashed behind them. Sister looked away and scowled at him, making him sigh. "I... I guess it doesn't matter. What matters is you're safe. Even if you are a pain in the ass."

"You're a pain in the ass." Sister said, rubbing her hands on Grif's thick winter, which she was wearing over her own. She then looked at the snow and threw her arms around her brother. "Thanks..."

"Don't mention it." Grif coughed, gently hugging her back.

"But next time don't do me any favors, bitch." Sister mumbled after a few seconds of relative silence.

"Wasn't planning on it, retard." Grif smiled.

After remembering that, Grif snapped back to reality and found himself instinctively pressing down on Tex's ribs.

"God, if you're alive somewhere, I just want to tell you to go fuck yourself." Grif muttered, then glanced down at what was left of his manhood as he pressed onto her ribs for the thirtieth time, knowing it would most likely be decimated within the next minute. "Sorry in advance, guys."

He then put his lips onto Tex's and began blowing air into her lungs.

Fighting Together

"What the hell did you do that for?" Grif asked as he flew up to Fluttershy and the others.

"Took advantage of the fact that the Elements of Harmony have temporarily moved places." Discord said happily. He lifted his hand into the air, which brought the elements off the ground, then placed them next to the Princesses. "That should be my limit on turning ponies to stone. After all, they're the only ones that deserved it don't you think?"

"Nobody deserves that." Simmons said quietly.

"How many times will I have to go over this?" Discord questioned flatly. "They turned me into stone first. All I did was have a little fun. That's what Equestria is famed for! Being the friendliest place in existence. But no, not when someone like me comes along, then it's time to get serious."

"What makes you think we're going to let you get away with this?" Sarge asked, taking a step towards him, leg muscles bulging slightly.

"Oh, because you love me!" Discord laughed, but quickly held up his hand to stop Sarge as he began approaching him. "Please, are you planning on using the Elements to turn me into stone? Don't you know that if you do, you will be unable to free your friends from their imprisonment?"

"We could argue in front of them and get mad at each other like I did with you." Church said.

"They weren't trapped by the Elements of Harmony." Discord sighed. "Besides, even if they were, arguing would also make the Elements of Chaos stronger. Anything positive you do will be blocked out by the negative, anything negative you do will be blocked out by the positive.'

"B-but... Pinkie..." Caboose said, looking at Discord with quivering lips.

"Oh, come now, Caboose, please don't do this." Discord pleaded. "I'm actually rather fond of you. I wouldn't like to lose you as a friend."

"Then turn her back to not stone!"

"Yeah, as much as I'd like to make a joke about Dash being hard for me I don't want her to be placed in a damn garden!"

"Oh, it won't be forever." Discord argued. "Once I find a place to keep the Elements of Harmony out of harm's way forever, and once the girls have been in stone for an equal amount of time, then I will let them free. Luckily for you, the ones you care about will be out in less than two years if you show good behavior. I will also probably lessen Luna's sentence by one thousand years to make up for the whole moon thing. Being away for a millennium is hard enough, but two would simply be too devastating."

"You lied to us! You said if we found out what the Elements of Harmony were we would have beaten you at your own game!" Grif yelped.

"It wasn't so much of a lie, as much as it was a half-truth." Discord smirked. "You see, I put you into the maze. By saying their Elements, you got out of the maze, and by coming out of the maze you technically beat me. But that was only a battle, not the war. You see, the odds of you winning are impossibly low. You'd be fools to even try anything other than just accept fate."

"Heh, you don't know who the hell you're messing with, do you?" Sarge asked with a laugh as he walked in front of Discord.

"Yeah, being fools is what we do best." Grif smirked, stepping next to him.

"And that's never stopped us from doing stupid shit before." Simmons added.

"And being around assholes isn't new to me, but-" Tex started.

"Bow-chicka-bow-wow." Tucker interrupted, taking his side next to them.

"But at least I know I can trust them with my life." Tex finished reluctantly, trying as hard as she could to not pay Tucker any heed.

"If you think we're going to stop just because you told us it's impossible, the harder we'll try to fuck you over." Church added.

"I love buttons!" Caboose yelled happily, jumping with them.

"Hey, Blue, mind doing me a favor?" Sarge asked, glancing at Caboose.

"What is it?" Caboose inquired pleasantly.

"Think about kittens covered in spikes. And babies. Lots of them. Because if you don't, you might never see Pinkie again."

Caboose's eyes twitched and his pupils filled his eyes, making them nearly entirely black. The muscles in his legs trembled as he looked at Discord, nothing but fury in his eye.

"Please, I'm not going to fight you." Discord scoffed. "I already told you I'm not the violent type."

"That's too bad. Because we are." Sarge chuckled, sprinting towards him with the others. "Charge!"

Discord's eyes widened as they approached him, but he scowled and clicked his claws, summoning several dozen other Discords into existence, surrounding the Reds and Blues.

"I must warn you, if I must fight you I will play dirty." The Discords said together.

"Good." Tucker said as he flew towards one of the Discords, front hooves crackling with electricity. "So will we."

One of the Discords then got sliced in the stomach and let out a yelp, before puffing out of existence. The other Discords began laughing and surged towards the soldiers, tossing small, but soft, projectiles at them, no intent of causing any serious harm. The guys, however, did not have the same mindset.

"Let my people go!" Caboose commanded as he smashed his hoof into a Discord's chin, sending him flying through the ceiling.

While Simmons backed away from an onslaught of Discords, one of them went behind him and picked him off the ground.

"Help!" Simmons yelped, unable to break free.

"Hey, let him go!" Grif yelled, darting straight towards the Discord, intent on tackling the Discord off of Simmons.

As Grif flew, he quickly found his wings were a lot heavier and harder to flap as he neared Discord. Thinking it was Discord's magic, he looked at his wings to make sure Discord hadn't done anything to them, then found that they were now more made out of a hard metal. Smiling, he flapped harder and faster, then slashed the Discord in the back, making it go away, allowing Simmons to fall to the ground.

"Hey! I figured out my thing!" Grif called out, flying around the others with his metallic looking wings. "Makes me a bit heavier though. I'll have to work harder to move."

"Lord knows you need the exercise." Sarge grunted as he kicked one of the Discord's in the stomach, the impact of which made him vanish instantly.

"Guys, do you mind shutting up and focusing on the actual fight?" Tex growled as she jumped in the air as four Discords charged at her, hitting each of them in the face with her hooves. Turning her head to the left, she saw nearly a dozen Discords zigzagging towards her. Then she found herself involuntarily moving towards them, then looked up to see Tucker carrying her. "What the hell?"

"Church felt you needed a little pick-me-up." Tucker shrugged, then looked at the others.

"Guys, get together in the middle!" Church yelled, getting closer to the others, shooting bolts of magic at the Discord, missing every shot. "We need to end this."

"On it!" Simmons said, launching several rockets around him, hitting the ones closest to all of them.

As they ran all ran towards the middle, Tucker dropped Tex off with them then flew to the ground as the remaining three dozen Discords flew at them.

"Three. Simmons, Tucker, Grif, you get the ones on my left." Church growled as they all went back to back.

"Right." They nodded.

"Two. The rest of us will tackle the ones on my right." Church said quickly as the Discords neared them.

"Sounds good to me." Sarge smiled, happy to be fighting again.

"One." Church snapped. "Now!"

To Church's left, he could see Simmons let out a small barrage of rockets while Tucker and Grif darted to the air behind them to finish off the stragglers. On Church's right he could see Caboose, Sarge and Tex going in to tackle the others while he fired off what he could to disorient them, then saw a Discord sitting on the throne, smiling at the show. Church's horn glowed brighter now as he aimed at Celestia, whose statue was now standing on the right side of the throne while Luna was on the left.

"Got you, asshole." Church muttered, shooting a ball straight at the Celestia. The ball, to his expectations, missed his target, but hit his real target in the face.

"Enough!" Discord growled, clambering off the ground. With the snap of his fingers, the remaining clones went away. The others flew back several feet as Tex lifted into the air. "You've had your fun. I told you, I'm not going to fight you. If you do, I will have to do something drastic."

"Don't hurt her." Church snarled, jumping towards him again, only to be propelled backwards.

"Oh, I'm going to do much worse than that if you don't accept the fact that you will join me." Discord said tightly, bringing Tex closer to him.

Church's horn instantly began to glow and the room filled with an intense light, making Discord and the others grunt in discomfort as they shielded their eyes. Discord quickly opened his eyes to find what was amiss, only to see the other fragments surrounding Church.

"What happened?" O'Malley growled as he looked around with the other AIs.

"Fine. You want me to be myself?" Church snarled at Discord, horn blindingly bright. "You got it."

The fragments surrounding Church floated off the ground and looked around in confusion, still unsure of what was happening, except for Sigma and Delta, who shared an extremely uneasy glance with each other.

"It's time to make me whole again." Church said quietly.

"I don't think I'm enjoying this." Gary said defiantly before shooting towards Church, vanishing when they came into contact with each other.

One by one, the fragments surged into Church, and with each one he let out a grunt. Tex, however, did not shoot into Church, but instead watched as his eyes shot open. Church's head snapped upwards as he began to scream, but no sound came out of his mouth. Rather, the ground beneath him began to rumble as he began stomping on it, shattering the marble floor underneath him. A white orb surrounded the yelling unicorn and it lifted him off the ground.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Tucker muttered.

After a few short, rough breaths, Church lifted his head up to yell again, this time the scream was so powerful that it shattered all the windows in the room, sending shards of stained glass flying everywhere. While the others did what they could to block the shards, Church's forehead began to bleed as his horn twisted into a finer spiral, becoming longer and thinner. His fur began going brighter as he writhed about in the ball. A third scream, and this time it shattered the stone around the Princesses and the used-to-be bearers of the elements. Shaking off the bits of stone, the girls all turned their attention to the floating ball in the middle of the room, noticing the shaking unicorn inside.

"Church?" Twilight asked quietly, taking a step towards him.

The others watched in stunned silence as his back arched up, two small bumps starting to appear on his back, a few tears of pain coming out of his eyes. A connection of bones then shot out of the bumps and he threw his head up to scream again, and his voice was now completely wavering. His horn began to glow white and a green glow surrounded the bones on his back. Muscles then began to appear on them, followed by a thin layer of skin as feathers began popping out. The orb around him blinked out of existence and he slammed into the ground, body convulsing due to the pain.

"Church!" Tex yelled, running towards him, only to be thrown back by an invisible force. "Dammit."

"What happened to him?" Twilight asked quietly as Church got onto his shaky knees, trying to get off the floor.

"It seems like Epsilon has a trick up his sleeve." Discord noted nervously, floating closer to Church.

"Epsilon... is gone. My name... is Leonard... Church." Church growled between heavy breaths as he raised his head to look at Discord with his glowing and blazing red eyes. "And you will fear my laser face!"

The Sequel is Here!

It begins.