A Selection of Sappy, Sweet, and Sometimes Somber Short Stories and Snapshots

by Baby Seal Burritos

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 13401

Shipping stories featuring Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie

I write a lot of Twilight and Pinkie stories, and sometimes they are just too short to stand alone. In the interest of me and of Twinkie this anthology was born.

Kicked off by "Alliteration" this compilation features mostly romantic snapshots of everyone's favorite duo: Twilight and Pinkie. How exactly can the party pony and the scholar make any sense out of a relationship? Or maybe they'll find that not making sense is half the fun.

Rated Teen for occasional sensuality. The Cover image was drawn for me by the wonderful Donny's Boy you should go check his stuff out if you haven't already.

Published 2012-03-05 19:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-01 20:41:21 UTC

Alliteration

Pinkie Pie was a whirlwind, a gale, a winter storm. She was a pure force of unbridled energy that blew through those unprepared souls who stood in her path with a smile and a song. She was pure intensity, pure adrenaline and she left Twilight Sparkle breathless and dumbfounded more often than not.

Somehow the little unicorn had won the tumultuous affections of Hurricane Pinkie and they lay that afternoon in the shade of a tree on the fringes of the Everfree Forest wrapped up in each other’s hooves, Twilight quiet and contemplative while Pinkie murmured a constant stream of words and phrases like a babbling brook into her ear. Twilight wasn’t really paying attention to the meaning behind the sounds, as she suspected Pinkie wasn’t either, rather she just enjoyed the sensation of the earth pony’s breath tickling the insides of her ear, the warmth of her body around her, and the coolness of the grass beneath them.

Pinkie Pie-- the pastel party pony-- a paradigm of passion… Twilight frowned. Was paradigm the right word? It fit nicely, but was the connotation what she really wanted to say? Paradigm… Paradigm… Mold. Standard. Pattern. Paragon? Was paragon a better word? Paradigm had a better ring to it, but paragon seemed to carry a more positive weight.

A stronger gust of breath into her ear jolted Twilight from her thoughts. She turned to look into Pinkie’s baby blue eyes; the pink pony seemed a little nonplussed.

“Your eyebrows are all scrunchy again. What’re you thinking about?”

Twilight smiled sheepishly. “Oh. Just alliteration.”

A lazy grin made its way across Pinkie’s cheeks. “My pretty, perfect, purple pony ponders phrases, perchance?”

Twilight’s eyebrows shot up. “You know alliteration?”

Pinkie laughed. “Of course I do, silly! Everypony who’s anypony knows this game!”

Twilight had to admit that she hadn’t really thought her partner capable of such precise wordplay. Pinkie started to hum to herself, a bit tunelessly perhaps, and Twilight was reminded of Pinkie’s tendency to break into song; perhaps alliteration and other such literary devices were just products of the pony’s bard-like tendencies. Was she not, after all, a kind of poet in her own right, weaving tapestries of expression in the form of song?

Twilight was intrigued. “Pinkie Pie-- my pink partner, professional party planner and pure paragon of passion-- precipitates palpitations in my person.”

Giggles erupted from Pinkie as she nuzzled Twilight’s cheek. “Magnificent mare, makes me mad. Multiple minds majestically magnified; marvelous missions of mercy: madness made moot by the modern maiden.”

Twilight had to laugh. “What on Equestria does that mean?”

Pinkie just smiled mischievously.

Twilight tapped her chin with her hoof and thought a moment before taking her turn.

“Eager equine easily engages, even elegantly, equally eloquent, earnestly extolling the excellence of eateries.”

“Ooh! That was a good one!”

Twilight grinned, a tad smugly. “Ready to give up?”

Pinkie shook her head emphatically, took a deep breath, and recited without hesitation, “Beautiful baby, it behooves you to believe: I breathe, beat, bloom because you bless me with your body.”

Twilight felt her cheeks burning scarlet. “Where did that come from?”

“I made it up! Like it?”

She more than liked it, it was downright poetic and so utterly romantic, verging on sensual, that Twilight felt both pleasure and embarrassment. Pinkie just gazed back at her with unblinking eyes and a smile that was as warm as the surface of the sun. Twilight felt like her heart was full to bursting; she figured that if she got any happier she would probably break open and all that she was would tumble out onto the grass. That was a less than apt metaphor, she thought, and she attempted to find one that fit better.

A poke in the side jolted Twilight back to the present, to the cool grass and warm body beneath and beside her.

Pinkie asked, “Are you having that hard a time thinking of another one?”

Twilight shook her head; she had completely forgotten their game in the midst of her lingering thoughts. She thought for a moment, hoping to come up with something equally poetic to compete with Pinkie’s display, but she was drawing a blank. Maybe she was no match for the party pony after all. No, she just needed a letter and she could go from there.

“I imagine,” she began tentatively, “if ice and infernos could ignite and impact imagery so I could impress my infatuation for you inside the ideology of my intelligence, I could instigate the initiation of the information I intend to impart.”

Immediately after Twilight finished her impromptu verse Pinkie chimed in, “Lovely lavender lady, luscious little lover, lavished me with love.”

Twilight chuffed Pinkie playfully. “You can’t use three words with the same base! You cheater!”

Pinkie fell backwards, her legs sprawling in the air, and Twilight, suddenly finding herself without support, toppled over on top of the pink earth pony.

Pinkie lamented, “Ooh! I lost!”

She leaned forward and brushed her lips against Twilight’s cheek softly. “I’m no match for the smartest smarty-pants pony in Equestria.”

Twilight angled her head back and maneuvered herself into position to gaze into Pinkie’s eyes. She felt a smile creeping across her features and she nuzzled the pink pony’s cheek.

“I can’t lie. I am tremendously impressed right now.”

Pinkie’s chuckles rumbled beneath Twilight. “Didn’t think the party pony could play that party game?”

Twilight scooted forward until she was whispering right in the earth pony’s ear, “I’m also extremely turned on.”

A shiver raced down Pinkie’s body and Twilight felt it up through her limbs. It was exciting, that feeling of desire that seemed to lance red hot through her veins and electrify the very fibers of her being. She could barely contain the yearning that bubbled forth inside her to take the pony beneath her and love her until neither of them could move any longer.

Twilight wrapped her lips around the outer shell of Pinkie’s ear and lightly nibbled eliciting a light moan from the earth pony. Pinkie liked the little love bites now didn’t she? Twilight moved down to the base of the earth pony’s ear and planted a row of light kisses in the hollow directly beneath where the skin just began to fold. She could feel Pinkie’s warm breath on her neck now and yet the gentle rasping of tongue against fur still came as a bit of a surprise to Twilight. Pinkie’s hooves draped lightly around Twilight’s neck as she pulled herself up just enough to begin alternating kisses and slow drags of her tongue along Twilight’s jaw line.

Twilight felt her eyelids grow heavy as her body attempted to shut down all functions not focused on the pursuit of pleasure. Pinkie was a tease, working her way around Twilight’s mouth, tugging at the very corners but not closing the gap between their lips. Twilight wanted nothing more than to taste the party pony, but Pinkie seemed content to dance around on the very fringes and take her own sweet time getting to the goal. How incredibly frustrating. Twilight took things into her own hooves.

Twilight turned to face Pinkie who wore a foxy little grin. Pinkie opened her mouth to say something, but Twilight leaped across the gap between them and pressed her lips against Pinkie’s. The pink pony squeaked in surprise. Twilight savored the taste of her partner’s lips, sweet like sugar but tangy like hot sauce, and eagerly went deeper when the other parted her lips in a silent invitation.

It was perhaps Twilight’s favorite form of fooling around, at least as far as the pair had tried. While Pinkie was more prone to caressing and licking, Twilight couldn’t help but feel absolutely on fire while exploring the wet, hot cavern of Pinkie’s mouth and allowing Pinkie to do the same.

Pinkie slowly sank back onto the ground; Twilight’s neck was still held tightly by the earth pony so she contented herself with following Pinkie down. She rested against Pinkie’s chest, mouths still locked together as if desperately trying to breathe the same air, and Twilight felt Pinkie’s rear hooves entwining with her own. Slowly, Pinkie detached a hoof from around Twilight’s neck and began stroking Twilight’s cheek tenderly.

Pinkie withdrew her mouth for a shaky breath and paused to plant a gentle kiss on the tip of Twilight’s nose.

“I love you.”

Twilight gazed back at Pinkie; the earth pony’s expression was so sincere, so vulnerable that it nearly broke Twilight’s heart. It carried the slightest hint of sadness, but Twilight could think of no reason why it should.

So she bent her neck and nuzzled her beautiful partner’s cheek and recited, “Beautiful babe, it behooves you to believe: I breathe, beat, bloom because you blessed me by becoming mine.”

Pinkie smiled, “Now who’s the cheater?”

Twilight simply rested her head against her lover’s chest, breathed deeply of her scent, and closed her eyes.

Dialog

“You give me heart palpitations.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No no. It’s a good thing.”

“It is?”

“Mhm.”

“I’m glad!”

“…”

“Pinkie, do you think you could stop squirming around like that?”

“Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s alright.”

“I just get so wiggly and tingly when I’m around you.”

“Is that right?”

“It feels like I’m full of butterflies.”

“…”

“What’re you thinking, Twilight?”

“Hmm?”

“Your eyebrows are all scrunched together.”

“Oh. I was just thinking… That was really beautiful.”

“You think so?”

“I do.”

“Well, I think you’re beautiful!”

“Pinkie.”

“And you’re super cute when you’re all blushy.”

“Pinkie!”

“What? It’s true.”

“You have no idea how amazing you are, do you?”

“…”

“Come here. Come cuddle with me.”

“I love how soft you are, Twilight.”

“You’re softer, Candy Mare.”

“Maybe I should give the cupcakes a break.”

“No. You’re perfect.”

“Eep! You really like doing that, don’t you?”

“I can’t help it. Maybe if you didn’t make such adorable faces then I could leave your ears alone.”

“Meanie.”

“Don’t tempt me with that tongue of yours.”

“Hmhm! I know you like it.”

“You little minx.”

“Little what?”

“Come here.”

“…”

“Hee hee! You always get all melty, Twilight.”

“It’s because you’re just… astounding.”

“You helped. What? What’s the face for?”

“You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“For what?”

“For anything.”

“I’m just me.”

“Like I’m just me?”

“No! You’re amazing!”

“So are you.”

“Twilight…”

“Just listen, okay? Let me talk for a little bit.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not a poet, Pinkie. I can’t paint beautiful pictures with words like you can.”

“I-”

“Shh. What I can do is speak plainly and let you know how I feel. You are something completely different; you break so many rules and standards that I just don’t know what to do with you sometimes. Don’t make that face. It’s a good thing.”

“Oh.”

“We’re incredibly dissimilar. We have very little in common, and I often wonder just how in the world we ended up together. Don’t cry, Pinkie. Let me finish, silly filly.”

“O-okay.”

“What I’m really trying to say is that I’m glad we did. You’ve been a positive force in my life, and I can’t thank you enough for it.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“No. I’m being honest. I’ve compiled a list of examples if you’d like to hear them. Don’t laugh at me!”

“Sorry. It’s just that… Never mind.”

“Hmph. Okay then. Answer me this: what Element of Harmony are you?”

“Did you forget?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Laughter, silly!”

“Do you think you’re a good Element of Laughter?”

“… I… I think so. I like making ponies laugh.”

“You’re a great Element of Laughter, Pinkie. I’ve got to admit that I didn’t understand why Laughter was an element at all in the beginning. It seemed pretty superfluous… Um… Extraneous? Unnecessary? Please, Pinkie, just sit still and listen. Stop jumping to conclusions and let me finish.”

“You’re really hurting my feelings!”

“Will you let me finish? Please?”

“… Okay.”

“That was my problem, Pinkie.”

“Jumping to conclusions?”

“No! I didn’t see the point of laughter; that was my problem. I was lonely back in Canterlot, you know? But I didn’t realize that it was my fault or that I couldn’t fix it by getting even further into my studies. Guess who had to teach me the importance of laughter, despite my attempts to thwart her?”

“Me?”

“That’s right. Guess who helped this stuck-up unicorn learn to let loose and have fun?”

“Me.”

“Mhm. Now tell me who keeps me from burying myself under a pile of books and becoming a lonely old miser pony.”

“Me.”

“You see, Pinkie, you are so good for me. You balance me.”

“…”

“Are your feelings still hurt? I didn’t mean to…”

“No.”

“Why are you being so quiet? What are you thinking about?”

“I was just thinking about what you said.”

“And?”

“And I guess that means you balance me too.”

“How do you mean?”

“It’s your turn to listen to me.”

“That’s fair.”

“I was a lonely pony too, Twilight.”

“But-”

“Shoosh. Don’t frown like that! Your face will get stuck and we’ll have to change your name to Twilight Grumple.”

“Fine.”

“I like to throw parties! Parties make ponies happy and I love love love to make ponies happy! But sometimes when other ponies are happy they forget.”

“Forget what?”

“They forget Pinkie Pie. She throws great parties, but she’s not the kind of pony you’d go out to lunch with. Nope. Let me finish. I know why, it’s because I’m out of control. I can’t help it, I just get so excited and I try so hard to get a smile that I go too far.”

“Pinkie…”

“It’s okay! You calm me down. I don’t know how, but you make me slow down and think. I don’t understand a lot of things, but that’s okay because you’ll always explain it to me. You never forget Pinkie Pie, and that is why I think you’re the best pony in Equestria.”

“That’s not accurate.”

“It isn't?”

“No. Because you’re the best pony in Equestria.”

“I think we may just have to agree to disagree here, Twilight Sparkle.

“I think you’re right, Pinkamena Diane Pie.”

“Now who’s tempting who with their tongue?”

“Who’s tempting whom is th…”

“…”

“I’m sorry, Twilight. What was that?”

“I forget. Who cares?”

“Something about tempting somepony…?”

“Get back here, you incredible tease!”

“I can’t hear you over your heart palpitations!”

“You don’t even know what that means!”

“Would you like to teach me?”

“Oh, I'm going to! Don't you worry a bit.”

---Author's Note---

"I'll bet you can't write Twinkie using just dialog."

"There is nothing I won't attempt for the mighty name of Twinkie!"

"Prove it."

So, love it or hate it? If you don't mind mentioning whether or not you got lost as to who is speaking as well that would be phenomenal!
I guess it's also Pinkie's birthday? Happy Birthday, Pinkie!

The Purplest of Prose for The Purplest of Ponies

“My heart it sings a song of purest joy.
You enter in and strike me with your gaze.
I cannot breathe; the sweet air that now cloys.
I surrender to you all of my days.”

It was a sonnet. At least… it was part of one. Written in Iambic Pentameter if Twilight Sparkle was reading it correctly. She had awoken that morning, stretched languidly as she briefly considered turning back over and sleeping more, before she finally dragged herself to the bathroom to prepare for the day. And there, resting snugly in the crook of the bathroom mirror was a piece of lavender cardstock with a simple insignia of three balloons embossed on the back. When she had flipped it over she had seen the words, written painstakingly fine in script lettering that would have been a nightmare for any pony who couldn’t use magic to lift a quill, and yet each letter was a work of art in itself, lending to a cohesive feeling of fine craftsmanship.

Absolutely breathtaking. Twilight set the card down carefully, being cautious not to set it where it could get wet, and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. A sleepy grin stretched her cheeks, tugging at the corners without her conscious consent, but she really couldn’t blame them for expressing the warmth she felt in her chest as words tumbled gaily through her mind. Pinkie Pie had written her a sonnet. A sonnet. Or part of one, at any rate. The sound of gleeful humming pinged and echoed around her bath chamber and she glanced around briefly before realizing that the sound was coming from her. She laughed at the ridiculous oversight and continued to get ready for the day.

She caught herself practically prancing throughout the day as her thoughts continued to drift back to that thoroughly romantic card from the mare that had stolen her heart so deftly. Long summer days spent lazing in the cool grass, learning to appreciate the depths that hid beneath a veneer of frivolity that the pink pony wore like a mask, seemed to bind them heart and soul. Perhaps she was waxing poetic herself, but she had never imagined the filly famous for fiestas would be a thinker and a wordsmith. What had she known? She had been so focused on the outward qualities that drove her mad, but now she was driven mad an entirely different way by the inward qualities that were hers alone to know and to love.

She pulled a book down from the shelf and began paging through it when another card appeared. This one was a deep navy color, still embossed with tri-balloons, with letters penned in a lovely silver ink.

“What can I do without you by my side?

Nothing. I am a wretched thing alone.

But with you near I have no need to hide;

My darker side and deepest thoughts you’ve known.”

She stared at the glittering ink for long moments; an incredible sadness overwhelmed her as the words fed through filters of meaning and came back with shades of shame and tints of regret. She returned to her bedroom to place the card in a box on her nightstand, resting it carefully atop the paper that came before.

She could only assume at this point that the remaining piece of the sonnet would pop up sooner or later, whenever her candy mare thought it would catch her off guard the most, she supposed.

The last few lines seemed to haunt her; they contrasted violently with the first set that had inspired such lofty feelings of bliss, of walking on air, when these last only made her hooves drag as if she was being weighed down by the pure volume of melancholy in her heart. Her dear, sweet lover; the object of her most sincere affections, constantly battling waves of self-deprecation. The battle was never won; the troops would never get to rest. She felt fatigue drawing on her shoulders, wanting to pull her down down down until she was prone on the floorboards, struggling no more. How much worse did her Pinkie Pie have it?

The spring in her step was gone. She fretted and considered and worried herself into a tizzy. Spike commented on her knitted brow, and she took pains to set it straight, but to what end? The same depth she had come to appreciate in her dearly loved partner also brought pain. Nights spent, clutching her as tears fell and insecurities lay bare tore at her heart but bound them even closer. She wanted nothing more than to be a shield for her surprisingly delicate friend, and she felt in her heart of hearts that Pinkie Pie felt the same.

Night fell, and she climbed up the stairs to her bedroom once more to attempt sleep. She was alone, painfully alone as Spike had disappeared without a word. She felt drained, worry did that to her, and she was ready to collapse. There, on her pillow was a pink card. A quick check produced the embossed balloons once more, and on the front were elegant letters in flowing black lines:

“My dearest companion, my closest friend;

You are the sweet melody of my soul.

The rest of my life with you I will spend,

Because without you I cannot be whole.”

Tears flooded her eyes, and she quickly turned her head to shield the poem from their rapid descent.

Unable to absorb the breadth of her emotion, she let out a shuddering sigh and murmured, “Two lines missing, you silly filly.”

Gentle hoofsteps sounded behind her and she spun to see the face of her beloved; her features were soft and subdued, her eyes sparked and glinted in the dim light of the lamp with what seemed to be pure, unadulterated affection. She stood still, clutching a final piece of paper gingerly between her teeth, a darker purple in color, with that same silver script that she had admired so, earlier on in the day.

Twilight stepped slowly over to where she stood, peering down at the paper to read the final couplet:

“No words are there for this love I feel now,

Only death will part us if you allow.”

Twilight looked up from the ending of her day long sonnet, confusion apparent on every corner of her face, “I don’t understand.”

The earth pony set the paper on the ground with the utmost of care. She took a deep breath in through her nose and let it out through her mouth before crossing her front legs before her and settling in to a low bow.

“Twilight Sparkle,” her voice seemed strained, like she was trying her hardest not to let her tone waver, “would you please think about maybe someday marrying me?” The earth pony bit her lip before continuing with a voice heavy with emotion, “You are the sunshine in my heart, filling me up, and chasing away all the bad things that want to hurt me. You are my balance and my support, and I would never forgive myself if I didn’t promise to love you forever and ever.”

Twilight crouched down to lock eyes with the now obviously terrified pony, hiding behind the voluminous mass of her wild, curly mane; barely perceptible, she trembled and swallowed, waiting and hoping.

Twilight cleared her throat, once and then twice, hoping that the tears shed would not impede upon her ability to speak clearly, “Pinkie Pie, you are the most incredible mare in Equestria. You are the oasis in my desert of loneliness. You are my joy and my song. And I would have to be the stupidest pony to ever live to reject you.”

A tentative smile, “You’re the cleverest pony.”

A soft kiss, “So what do you think my answer is?”

Unbridled, unequivocal joy that only one could supply and only one could reciprocate. They were bound, heart and soul, in deed and ever poetic word.

Forever.

--Author's Note--

While most stories in this collection won't be connected at all, this one actually takes place in the same reality as Alliteration and could be considered an epilogue of sorts.

Purple prose isn't a problem when you promise it in the title. Right? Guys?

In all seriousness, I wanted to write a sonnet because I'm not rightly a poet but I watched The Raven this weekend and felt the incredible need to try my hand. Let me know if the Iambic Pentameter is off or just flat out doesn't work.

Blackmail and Muffins: A Love Story

“Blackmail and Muffins: A Love Story”

by Baby Seal Burritos and Donny’s Boy
with supplementary material by Kyronea and Lord-Tristan

“Twilight? I should like to ask a favor of you, darling, and have you answer a little question for me … exactly how long do you intend to hide in the bushes across the street from Sugarcube Corner, spying on a certain pink mare with those binoculars of yours?”

“What pink mare? There are so many pink mares, and I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about or even what you’re implying.”

“Oh, Twilight. We both know that you know precisely which pink mare I mean. Come now, surely you … oh! Oh, my. It’s not just a simple infatuation, is it? You’re in love with her ... aren’t you?”

“I… No… I mean... Is there some reason you’re asking these questions, Rarity?”

“Because you needn’t keep it secret anymore, Twilight! Pinkie would love you too, if you were to simply tell her.”

“There’s no way you could possibly know that! The chances of reciprocation on Pinkie’s part are slim to none; I’d wager the odds being at about 330.712:1. There is absolutely no way on Celestia’s green Equestria that I would ever possibly consider…”

“You’ve run the numbers already, then, I see.”

“What? No! I… Just… It was just an estimate. Yes. Just an estimate from out of nowhere. My best guess without any basis in study.”

“Let us put it another way, then. Do some research. Experiment. Discover! Confess to Pinkie that you love her so that you can find out. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in that awful place of never knowing. It will be as though you began reading the most delightful book you had ever read--and then put it aside before you reached the ending.

Your curiosity is too strong for that, darling. So do it.”

“But… You’re right. The curiosity of the whole situation is killing me. And I just can’t let it go without exploring some possibilities... But it’s scary and every time I want to try my heart starts pounding and I get tongue-tied and I just can’t manage to get the words out. Besides, I don’t really think that being rejected is pleasant. I don’t think I want to go through with it if I’m just going to get hurt.”

“Twilight Sparkle, it is a bakery, not a dungeon. You are being melodramatic.

Let me tell you a secret. There is nothing in this world worth having that does not bring with it the possibility of pain. But there is no pain that compares with that of the pain of having never tried--of failing before one has even began. By going through with it, you’ll finally know, and then things can proceed from there.

And darling? Unless my instincts for romance are failing me--and they never, ever do fail me--I would wager that our dear Pinkie Pie has her heart set on you, just as you have yours on her.”

“You really think so, huh? Well, you seem to be much better at this than I am, and I would be extremely foalish if I was to ignore your advice in this area. Especially since you seem to be making a whole lot of sense right now. The pain of never trying huh? Sounds like something I’d hate to have to live with. I guess I should just get it over with then. All I need to do now is… find Pinkie.”

“Luckily, that oughtn’t be too hard. She’s just come out of the shop and--oh, I do believe she’s spotted us and is heading over! Well, darling, I do believe that’s my cue to take off. I wish you the very best of luck. I’ll drop by the library some time tomorrow for tea and gossip!”

“WHAT? Oh my gosh! How’s my mane? WHAT DO I SAY?”

“Hiya, Twilight! How’s it goin’? Where’d Rarity go so quick? Anyway, Spike said you were looking for me, but I said that was silly, because if a smarty pants unicorn was looking for me, you’d come to Sugarcube Corner! So I told Spike that it had to be that I was looking for you! … And here you are! Yay!”

“PINKIE! Oh! Y-you startled me! Um. Did you say you were… looking for me or that I was looking for you or…?”

“I’m preeeeetty sure that you were looking for Spike, who was looking for me, and I was looking for you, so everything works out! … I think. Kinda?”

“What? I- Oh. That’s not even the point is it? You were looking for me and I was kind of looking for you too, so the end result of the two of us finding each other works out either way. Why don’t you go ahead and let me know what you needed me for, and then after that I’ll tell you what I needed to see you for. Okay?”

“Oh, I forgot already! Ha, ha, silly Pinkie! But hey, did you get a manecut from Rarity lately? ‘Cause it looks really super nice today!

Okay, now it’s your turn! What’s up, Twi?”

“No I didn’t but… you really think it looks nice? I mean… That’s not the issue at hoof here. I just gotta jump right in. Be natural. Don’t overthink it…”

WOW! You’re really pink today, Pinkie! Did you do something with your something to get so darn pink? I mean, really, you’re utterly vibrant!”

“Well, I’m often doing something with my something, ‘cause why would you even have a something if you weren’t gonna do something with it? That’s just silly! But, no. I’m pretty sure I’m about the same amount of pink as I usually am. Maybe even less pink—there was a teensy tiny fire at Sugarcube Corner today, and I mighta gotten a teensy tiny bit singed, and …

… uh, Twilight? Why’re you lookin’ at me like that? I don’t have chocolate on my face again, do I?”

“You know what, Pinkie? I think that I do see a teeny tiny bit of chocolate on your face there. Here. Let me get that for you…”

“Aww, thanks, Twilight! You’re the best unicorn friend ever, except for maybe Rarity and Pumpkin, of course, but oh, you’re definitely the bestest purple unicorn friend that I …

…”

Did I really just do that?

I really just did that.

“Got it! No more chocolate on that ador- I mean pink face of yours. Hehe. All gone. All squeaky clean!”

“…
…
…

Twilight Marigold Sparkle! You thought I wouldn’t notice? You thought I’d just let you get away with it? Well, not this Pinkie Pie!

… You taste like cranberry muffins! But Sugarcube Corner doesn’t sell cranberry muffins, which means … you … you … you’ve been cheating on me with another bakery!”

“Mari-? I’d never go to another bakery, Pinkie! Spike made those muffins for me because you don’t sell them and they’re my favorite. Why don’t you sell them, anyway? That’s a ridiculous oversight and you must lose a certain amount of business that way.”

“… well, I … I … I dunno! The Cakes just have never made cranberry muffins, and I usually just do what they tell me to do, especially after the ‘baked bads’ incident, and …
Wait! Wait, wait, wait! Cranberry muffins are your favorite? Like, not just your favorite but your absolute favoritest? Then why didn’t …

… then why didn’t you tell me, Twilight? Last year when I made you those blueberry muffins for your super special birthday breakfast, how come you didn’t tell me you wanted cranberry muffins instead?”

“Well, I guess I was just happy that you took the time to make me muffins at all. I mean, you didn’t have to and I was kinda... Anyway, those muffins were amazing and much better than any that Spike makes. Oh. Don’t tell him I said that. He’s so sensitive about his cooking.

I guess that means that your muffins are my “favoritest” and the cranberry ones are just my favorite-favorite.”

“Ohhhhh! I gotcha, Twilight! Though I can’t believe you only have a ‘favorite-favorite’ and a ‘favoritest.’ I mean, I have at least ten different types of favorites for all my favorite muffins! Oh, and don’t you worry your pretty little smarty pants head about Spike. Mum’s the word! Pinkie promise! … Oh, and dad’s the word too! Fair’s fair, y’know! Hee!

Whew! I’m glad we got that all sorted out! I was starting to almost get worried for a second there. So, now that that’s outta the way … how come you kissed me, Twi?”

“Kiss-? You had chocolate on your… Can’t we talk about your other favorite kinds of muffins? I for one am absolutely dying to know what your top ten favorite muffins are! I mean we talked about mine and fair’s fair right?”

“Sure! I like walnut apple muffins, and blueberry muffins, and chocolate chip muffins, and …

… waaaaiiiiit just a minute here! Are you trying to distract me? I cannot be distracted! Pinkie Pie’s mind is a steel trap! Ooh, except that sounds kinda mean. Maybe my brain’s more like a lemon meringue?

… No, no, no, no, no! I’m getting off track again … Twi! How come you don’t wanna tell me why you kissed me? Don’t you … don’t you trust me?”

“Of course not, Pinkie. There’s no reason I wouldn’t trust you; you’re one of my closest friends!

I just… I don’t… I just don’t know exactly how to say what I want to say. It requires the utmost of care and thought or else I’ll screw it up. This would be much easier if I could write up a few drafts, pitch it to a test audience, rewrite it, repitch it…

Hold on. No no no. This won’t do. “Comes from the heart” right? Okay. Then here goes: PINKIE PIE!”

“… Twilight?”

“I really really like you as more than a friend and I think that we should go out sometime because that would make me incredibly happy and we could go out somewhere nice and I could tell you about how much I love your eyes and I kissed you because I’ve wanted to kiss you for the longest time and I was really curious to see if you tasted like bubblegum which you didn’t oddly enough you tasted like strawberry pie which is pretty delicious but what am I saying is I just really like you and I want to kiss you again?”

“… I … uh … you … strawberry? But I haven’t even eaten any strawberries today!

… okay, well, maybe I ate some strawberry shortcake, but that was only for breakfast!

… oh, yeah, and lunch too …

… and you like my eyes? Really? … But no, no, no … no … I just …

You can’t like me, Twilight! You just can’t!”

“Oh. Um. Well. That’s just… Uh.

I just… I can’t… I’m so sorry, Pinkie. I’ll… I’ll just go away forever now. Hide my head under something heavy where I can’t bother ponies again.”

“Oh! Oh, please, no … please don’t … Twilight …

I … there’s something I have to tell you, too. I … might’ve told you a little fib, once.

Um. Okay. You remember the very first party I ever threw for you? I told you that I gasped and ran away when I first saw you in Ponyville ‘cause you were new in town and I wanted to throw you a party, so you’d have lots of friends, and … and that was all true! It was! But … but there was another reason I ran away, too ...

… when I saw you, I … I didn’t know what to say. And that’d never happened to me before! I mean, I totally always know what to say! Maybe I know too much what to say, even--that’s what the Cakes tell me sometimes-- but I’ve been working hard on getting better about that, and … oh. Um. Anyways …

And then I met you for realsies, and we got to know each other, and then … then I started saying too much. Because I guess I was scared to say what I really wanted to say, and it felt like if I just kept saying everything else that wasn’t quite exactly what I wanted to say, then maybe it’d mean I’d never have to say what I really wanted to say. But I guess I should’ve said it, anyways, and …

...

Twilight Sparkle … you have the most perfectest smile. It is perfect. And I can tell, y’know, ‘cause if there’s anypony who knows a thing or two about smiles, that anypony is me! And you’re so smart and you’re so pretty and you’re so absolutely positively amazing that …

That you scare me. You scare me in ways that some spooky old evil forest never could. Because you’re so amazing and so smart and so perfect, and I’m so … well, we both know what I am. Don’t we, Twi?

So I don’t see how a pony like you could ever really like a pony like me.”

“Now hold on a moment. “A pony like you”? Pinkie, you’ve got this whole thing backwards and all jumbled up.

When I first arrived in Ponyville I was a pretty terrible pony. I was rude and selfish, and I didn’t appreciate all the attempts by the ponies here to befriend me or to draw me out of my shell. Least of all you, the one pony who went so far as to throw a party for me with all of Ponyville invited. I was a bookish, snobby, stuck-up unicorn just like back in Canterlot. I’m still not much of a good friend am I?

But you, Pinkie Pie, you are a mare of your own class. Not only are you the most amazing friend a pony could ask for, but you don’t even seem to realize it. Your smile is enough to make anypony’s day a little brighter; you’d do anything for a friend in need without even blinking, and you’d do it without begrudging a soul and with a song. Because you are joy, Pinkie, you’re the personification of laughter and glee and love, and I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around you.

You know me, Pinkie, you know that when I can’t understand something I drive myself crazy trying to fix that. You’re… terrifying in that I don’t think I ever will understand you. But it’s also so freeing, so liberating to have so little control when you’re around. Every day I schedule and plan and write lists upon lists, down to the half a minute, of what I’m going to do, and you just come through and sweep me off my hooves and let me loosen up and have fun. Fun. Me. Twilight Sparkle, the eternal stick in the mud, having fun? What a concept. You’re the best influence for me, and I know it’s selfish of me to use you like this, but I’m not a very nice pony now am I?”

Anyway, I just wanted you to know all that. You’re the absolute best pony that I’ve ever met... Not to mention the most gorgeous...”

“… I … I guess I never really thought about it like that. Do you mean it? … Oh, Pinkie Pie, what a silly thing to ask Twilight … I mean, of course you mean it! You wouldn’t say it if you didn’t mean it. I know you wouldn’t.

You’re wrong, though. About being a terrible pony. You’re a great pony, Twilight. The bestest pony! Even if you maybe kinda sorta thought you didn’t need friends when you first met everypony. Which was kinda a silly thing to think, when you think about it!

And you wanna know what else is silly to think? That you’re a terrible pony. And that you haven’t done anything for me. ‘Cause … because nopony’s ever put up with me for as long as you put up with me, except for the Cakes and maybe Gummy. And you wanna know a secret? Half the songs I sing are just ‘cause seeing you makes me feel like I have something to sing about. And … and … and I just, I can think so much better with you around, Twilight. I really, really can. Like, all the crazy thoughts that are always zipping and zooming around my brain calm down just a teensy tiny bit when I look at you. And … and I look at you, and I just … I just …

… um. I think maybe I don’t really quite know what to say about everything I’m feeling right now, because it’s kind of a lot. But it’s okay. ‘Cause this time, even though I don’t know what to say … I think I finally know …

...

… what to do.”

“Pinkie… You have no idea how happy I am right now. I’ll admit that I get a little scatterbrained when I’m with you, and all I can think of right now is that your mane is really very soft, but it’s… nice. It’s nice to not have to think so hard about what’s coming next or what I’m supposed to say.

You’ll forgive me for being a bit… slow, as usual, but does this mean what I think it means?”

“No. No, I most certainly will not forgive you.

… because there’s nothing to forgive, you silly filly! You’re not slow. I mean, sure, you’re not as fast as Dashie, but nopony is as fast as Dashie! That doesn’t make you slow! As for what this means … well, I think it means …

… that I kinda really sorta super want to kiss you again, Twilight Sparkle. Because I kinda really sorta super am in love with you.”

“Is… is that right? Hmm. I wonder just what I should do about that?

Hmm… such a puzzler. Because after all…

I’m kind of in love with Pinkie Pie, myself. But that silly filly just keeps making excuses and jabbering away, and I’m kind of thinking maybe she doesn’t want to pick up where we left off after all. Which would be such a shame considering she can’t really get cranberry muffins any other way. Unless she wanted to hit up Spike, but I have a feeling she doesn’t really want to go that route.”

“Really, Twilight? Blackmail? Oh, you sneaky little smarty pants unicorn. But I’m afraid there’s one fatal flaw in your dastardly designs …

… who do you think showed Spike that cranberry muffin recipe in the first place?”

...

“Wow, Pinkie! Just... wow! I had no idea that you were such an excellent kisser! Where did you learn to do that thing with your tongue?”

“Oh, that? Hee! You’d be surprised about the kind of oral muscular skills you need to play the tuba and harmonica both at the same time! I’d be super duper happy to show you what I learned from playing the maracas …

… but, um, maybe we should get outta the bushes first? There’s kinda a whole bunch of ponies staring at us, and it might be good to have a little more privacy for the maracas stuff.”

“Your place or mine?”

--Baby Seal Notes--
This was super fun collaboration that I got to do with the amazing Donny's Boy, and he was kind enough to let me upload it here to my Twinkie shorts for the enjoyment of all. He wrote all of Pinkie's dialog and tweaked Rarity's, I wrote Twilight, and Kyronea and Lord-Tristan supplied the basis for Rarity's.
Hope you enjoyed!

Spectacles

Pinkie Pie had an itty bitty, tweeny weeny, smally wally crush on Twilight Sparkle. Just a little one. It was so little that she didn’t even think that it needed to be talked about. There were so many other waaaaaaay more interesting things to talk about like party poppers, soda fountains, and that pony that makes a living jumping out of cakes. How did a pony go about getting a job like that? I mean, come on, that pony’s living the dream!

Yup! Pinkie’s crush wasn’t something to talk about at all. She didn’t talk about the smaller pony’s super adorable smile or her silky smooth mane that smelled like lilac or even her amazingly bea-you-tiful purple eyes! Nope. Not a word from Pinkie Pie, Master Secret Keeper. If she had a second cutie mark her other cutie mark would be something to do with how good at keeping secrets she was. Maybe a pair of lips behind a hoof or a key buried under a house that was occupied by a little blue pegasus who liked to make horseshoes. But that didn’t make any sense! Why would a pegasus live on the ground? Oh! Duh. Fluttershy lived on the ground didn’t she? And that made a whole lot of sense! She felt a little silly for judging the life choices of the poor blue pegasus that she’d just made up as an example.

She rolled her eyes and giggled to herself. Silly Pinkie! Getting so far off track that she had completely forgotten what she was supposed to be doing. She jutted out her lower lip and tapped her chin with a hoof. Let’s see. She was thinking about her second cutie mark because she’s so good at keeping secrets like her tiny crush on Twilight…

Her eyes lit up and she shouted, “Eureka! I’ve got it!”

Her cry startled a pair of ponies that had been passing her in the street.

The colt shook his head with a snort and muttered to his friend, “Crazy mare! This town’s full of em.”

But Pinkie ignored him because she had something way more important to remember: where she was going! She made a show of pointing herself towards her destination and coiling her legs beneath her before springing off down the road. She hummed to herself as she hopped, hearing the words to her little tune tumbling through her head:

Library! Library! Heading to the library! Take a look there’s lots of books; stop and stare at the head mare; and soon you’ll see she’s kissing me…

Pinkie almost stumbled as she realized what she was thinking.

Nope nope nope! Pinkie, get ahold of yourself, silly filly! Think of something else!

For some odd reason the image of a pear flashed across her mind and she was just desperate enough to grab that fleeting thought for all she was worth. Pears weren’t even in season yet, and besides pears were the natural enemy of apples. So why would she ever eat a pear when it would just destroy Applejack? She had enjoyed them when she had been a teeny tiny twinkie Pinkie though. They had been her favorite fruit, a fact that she would never ever admit to Applejack in a million billion years! She would hate for Applejack to know her deepest darkest secret. But wait, her fondness for pears wasn’t her deepest darkest secret.

She was coming incredibly close to dangerous thinking territory, but luckily for her she had reached the library, a great place to stop thinking all together!

She burst in through the front door with a wild blat of fanfare and some spontaneous confetti, “Heya Twilight!”

A muffled voice from above shouted down, “Be right with you!” The sound of items falling and things crashing onto the ground immediately followed. Muttered curses and thuds against furniture echoed around the vacant library. The door to the inner portion of the library flew open, and the lavender unicorn trotted out rubbing her head and muttering unintelligibly to herself.

“Just a moment, Pinkie, I’m coming.”

Pinkie closed her eyes to grin her biggest and most happy smile just for Twilight. “Okie dokie!”

When she opened them again her heart nearly stopped beating altogether! Which is a rather silly thing for a heart to do considering the thing was supposed to beat a nice little rhythm that she could dance through life to, and when it got all quiet and shy she wasn’t really sure of the beat and the steps got all sloppy.

But the real question at hoof was why? Why did her heart go from a professional grade performance to the skill of a schoolfilly who fell face first into the orchestra pit?

Well, Pinkie had opened her eyes, pretty content in the knowledge that she had managed to fill her quota for “smiling at Twilight”-- which was a completely innocent gesture devoid of any ulterior, romantic motives at all—and had been met face first with a Twilight she was not familiar with. This Twilight had all the things necessary to be classified as a Level One Twilight: smooth light purple fur, silky tricolored mane, cute little rump… cutie mark! She meant cutie mark! Same amazing amethyst eyes, but here was where the difference could be found; this was what sounded the alarm and made Pinkie’s heart thud out of sync.

Twilight’s eyes were framed by large, round, wire-rimmed spectacles.

Thud thud thud. Rattatatat.

Twilight seemed a tad too distracted to notice that Pinkie was likewise distracted for reasons that were not even remotely likely to be the same.

Twilight wore a slightly strained smile. “What can I do for you Pinkie? I’m sorry, but I’m a tad busy at the moment with a large order from Canterlot. I don’t know why they don’t have some of these volumes in their much more extensive libraries, but it still stands that they are in need.” She chuckled a bit nervously as she took notice of Pinkie’s wide-eyed stare. “Is something the matter?”

Pinkie’s brain also seemed to be a bit sleepy all the sudden, and her mouth was being equally silly. So while she wanted to calmly state that Twilight had become bespectacled what came out instead was, “Glasses!”

Twilight blinked. “Why yes. I am wearing glasses today.” When Pinkie didn’t choose to elaborate, Twilight offered, “I accidentally stepped on a contact yesterday, and my new ones don’t arrive until next week.”

Pinkie’s mouth moved on its own, an annoying habit Pinkie did not appreciate, “You wear contacts?”

“Yes,” Twilight furrowed her brow. “I never told you that?”

“No!” Oh boy. Pinkie felt the floodgates open, and there was nothing she could do to stop the oncoming deluge. “You never told me because if you had told me I would have remembered because this isn’t the sort of thing Pinkie Pie forgets. I mean, come on, it’s glasses! Glasses! You wear glasses, Twi, and it doesn't seem very fair. Not fair at all for the rest of us! How could you be so-!” Pinkie barely managed to choke off the next portion. The part where she explained just why it wasn’t so fair. Dangerous territory. Dangerous territory. Abort! Abort!

“What?” Twilight had that look again. That look that Pinkie was so familiar with: utter confusion, completely baffled, Pinkie-Pie-has-lost-it face. “How is it unfair to you that I need corrective lenses to see properly?”

Gah! Foiled again! Twilight was too perceptive for her own good. One of these days it’s going to land her in a mess of trouble; she’ll be the mare who knew too much, and Pinkie will have to play the piano and sing a heartbreaking song to signal to their foalnapped colt that they’re looking for him, and… Pinkie felt herself flush and shook her head in an attempt to dislodge the dangerous thoughts. Nope nope nope. She was not imagining what their foals would look like. Oh sweet Celestia, please. She wasn’t thinking up names. Luna help her, the thoughts were coming much too strong. And there wasn’t a single pear to help her.

Twilight’s look of confusion slipped into concern. “Are you alright, Pinkie? You kind of look like you’re in pain.”

She was in pain! Deep searing pain! Her heart was beating much too fast now and had somehow found a cymbal that crashed every so often in painful hitches. Twilight was… she was just so… How could Pinkie stand to stay quiet? The little blue pegasus in her second cutie mark would be so disappointed, but she just couldn’t…

“AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” Twilight jolted backwards as Pinkie let loose an agitated scream.

“I can’t do it! I can’t stand it! No more! Make it stop!” Pinkie fell to the floor and sobbed.

“What!” Twilight panicked. “What’s wrong? Make what stop? What’s going on?”

Pinkie covered her eyes with a moan. “I can’t take it.”

Twilight leaned down to bring her face next to Pinkie’s gently removing the earth pony’s hooves from her eyes and giving her a nice close up of the lenses that seemed to make her gorgeous eyes even bigger. “What’s wrong? I want to help.”

Pinkie’s heart did a fancy drum roll, slamming into the cymbal a few times for good measure.

The words came out in a subdued whisper, “Your glasses. It’s unfair.”

Twilight nodded slowly, “Okay. And…?”

Tears welled up in Pinkie’s eyes. “They make you too cute to handle.”

Silence. Even Pinkie’s crazed heart seemed to calm down just for an instant before picking up tempo again and with increased gusto. Whoops. She’d passed the point of no return. Dangerous territory. Twilight stared at her with confusion, but what else was new? Just Pinkie being Pinkie.

But maybe she was imagining things, or else Twilight’s cheeks seemed a bit redder than normal. Could it be? Was it possible? Was now Pinkie’s moment? Take the reins, Pinkie! Seize the day! Carp Dijon!

Pinkie took a deep breath. “Because normally you’re just super-cute—a cuteness factor of nine with an adorableness boost of fifteen—and then you’re super smart which rounds it out to a solid thirty-eight. But with the glasses you shoot right up into the fifties, and I just don’t know any pony who’s ever made it all the way up there! I didn’t even really know that there was a level above forty-six! And yet here you are: a perfect fifty-seven. What’s the deal with that?”

“You think I’m cute?” Twilight seemed uncharacteristically at a loss for words.

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “Not just cute: the cutest!”

“The cutest?” Twilight inquired, genuinely curious.

“Yup! The absolute cutest, most amazingest pony I know! And I know everypony!”

Twilight’s blush deepened, and Pinkie smiled sheepishly.

“The cutest.” This time it was more a statement than a question. Her frames had slid down the bridge of her nose, and she pushed them back into place absentmindedly.

Pinkie’s heart did a stage dive.

Twilight tapped the ground with a hoof a few times, scrunched her eyebrows together in thought, and chewed on her lip.

Pinkie felt like if Twilight got any cuter her heart would burst out of her chest and go on tour across Equestria.

Finally, determination flashed in Twilight’s eyes and she stated, albeit a tad mechanically as if she was reading from a script, “Impossible. There is a pony who ranks higher than I do on that scale of yours.”

Pinkie had to try really hard to suppress the monster of a grin that threatened to split her face in two. It was fairly predictable, but Pinkie had to allow Twilight to finish the exchange that she had obviously thought very hard about.

With as much innocence as she could muster, Pinkie replied, “Oh? Who would that be?”

“Why you of course.”

Pinkie squealed and launched herself at Twilight in the beariest bear hug she could muster; she rubbed her cheek furiously against Twilight’s, still unable to speak for the sounds of pure joy that escaped from her muzzle. Sure she had seen it coming a mile away, but that didn’t make it any less super-amazing-awesome.

After the most intense snuggling session Pinkie could ever remember happening in the history of Equestria, Pinkie gazed lovingly into Twilight’s bespectacled eyes and Twilight gazed right back into hers.

To Pinkie’s surprise, Twilight was the one who leaned forward and gently brushed her lips against the party pony’s. Pinkie took a few short moments to allow the heat to travel up her cheeks and ears, getting over the initial shock of getting what she wanted without asking, and then she leaned into the kiss and returned Twilight’s passion ten-fold.

As intense as their snuggling had been, Pinkie was happy to note that their kissing was even more so. Twilight pushed her over onto her back and straddled the pink pony, locking muzzles again, only letting go for brief moments so they could breathe. But Pinkie wasn’t going to take it all lying down! No sir! She grabbed Twilight around the neck, and rolled her over so that Twilight was the one on the ground and Pinkie was the pony on top. Pinkie giggled in triumph, and Twilight nuzzled her softly, lulling her into a false sense of security so she could overthrow her once more.

The pair rolled around the floor of the library, giggling and squealing, as they devolved into tickling and playfully nipping each other. They rolled into to a bookshelf and books jolted out of place, almost burying the two ponies. They would have had some bruises for sure if Twilight hadn’t zapped the books with her unicorn magic and set them back on the shelves. The two ponies looked at each other for a moment before bursting out into laughter.

Pinkie moved to wipe a tear from her eye, but stopped with a jolt. “Oh No!” Pinkie began running her hooves over the floor of the library, searching the floorboards for one teeny tiny something that she kinda sorta needed.

Twilight took a deep breath. “What? What happened?”

Pinkie gave Twilight her most sorrowful look. “I’ve lost one of my contacts!”

Twilight couldn’t help but perk an eyebrow. “You wear them too?”

“Uh huh.” Pinkie slumped to the floor with an exaggerated moan. “But I can’t find it!”

Twilight stood to her hooves and walked over to nuzzle Pinkie’s cheek. Twilight froze still as a statue for a moment before a cheeky little grin stretched across her cheeks.

Pinkie noticed, and opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Twilight who spoke in a voice low and sugary sweet, “So I guess this means somepony else going to be wearing glasses too?”

Pinkie was for once at a complete loss. She stammered, “Uh... I uh... Um...” But she couldn’t think of very much except the fact that Twilight was somehow channeling a sultry expression through lowered eyebrows and the tiniest smile that Pinkie had never really thought Twilight was capable of. Really, that just wasn’t very fair either. Twilight tipped her head slightly, allowing her glasses to slip down just enough for her to peer at Pinkie over the rims.

But.

Oh.

Um.

Well.

Pinkie finally managed to squeak, “... yes.”

--Author's Note--

Dedicated to Krizak who asked for it and helped edit it into something the public could see.

Mix and Match

“We are not naming our child Custard Clove.”

“Why are you being such a grumpy face about all my suggestions?”

“Because all your suggestions are terrible!”

Pinkie Pie gasped. She narrowed her eyes and jutted out her lower lip in an angry pout that somehow was more adorable than intimidating. “Yours haven’t been any better! ‘Moonlit Night’? Really?” She blew a raspberry.

Twilight Sparkle felt her teeth grinding together. Pinkie was being incredibly adamant about her suggestions, but the unicorn wasn’t really being too receptive either. The two of them had been arguing for the better part of an hour and had gone through at least half a dozen names each. Finally, they had reached a stalemate, and neither mare was going to budge.

Twilight huffed. “Custard Clove is probably your worst suggestion thus far. At least Gumdrop Dreams had some kind of meaning behind it. Custard Clove is just alliterative nonsense!”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “As if you never suggested anything nonsensical! Evening Eclipse? Remember that one?”

To be fair, that had been a rather silly suggestion on her part, but Twilight wasn’t about to concede the point.

“Éclair Flair.”

“Sunset Beaches.”

“Corncake Daydream.”

“Darkest Night.”

Twilight groaned and flopped down in the chair next to Pinkie’s hospital bed. “Okay. Okay. We’re both pretty bad at this naming business. Fine. Happy?”

Pinkie continued to frown for a few seconds before releasing the expression with a sigh. She reached over and patted Twilight gently on the head. “No. Are you?”

Twilight chuckled. “Absolutely not.”

Pinkie scooched herself a bit closer to the edge of the bed and grabbed Twilight’s hoof in her own. “Maybe we should take a break?”

“Maybe you’re right.” Twilight stroked Pinkie’s forearm absentmindedly. “It’s just really important that our child, our firstborn at that, is given a good, strong name. You know what I mean?”

Pinkie thought for a moment. “I think so. I just think it’s important that it’s something fun. Nothing too stuck up and snooty.”

“I can understand that.” Twilight smirked. “But I think it’s imperative that the name is not too silly that it’s hard for them to be taken seriously.”

Pinkie tapped her chin. “Hmm. So fun, but serious?”

Twilight laughed. “Like me? Hmm?”

“More fun than you.”

“More serious than you.”

The two mares exchanged sharp glances for long moments before breaking down into laughter.

Twilight took a deep breath to still her giggles. “I suppose that’s a valid point.”

Pinkie smiled, just a little smile that turned up the corners of her mouth and crinkled the corners of her eyes. “Well, the new pony is a mix of me and you isn’t it? So maybe the name should be a mix of me and you too.”

Twilight leaned over to nuzzle Pinkie’s cheek. “You’re right. I think we’ve been approaching this a bit too selfishly.”

Pinkie rubbed a hoof over her now substantial stomach. “Maybe I kinda thought that I had dibs on the name because the foal’s in my tummy.”

“Womb. It’s not actually your…” Twilight shook her head. “Never mind. I-”

Pinkie cut her off with a hoof to the mouth. “But you know what? We did this together! So we should name them together too!”

Twilight planted a kiss on Pinkie’s nose. “Are you sure? I mean, I guess it’d make sense if you got to name them because you were carrying. I could just name the next one after I carried them?”

Pinkie laughed. “But we’re both terrible at names remember? We’d have a bunch of foals with silly names!”

“I guess you’re right.”

“So maybe when we put our heads together,” Pinkie said with a wink, “we can come up with something amazing! We always do.”

Twilight chewed her lower lip in thought. “I would like to have a nighttime or starry motif. My family has been naming foals like that for generations.”

“What about Shining Armor? That’s not nighty or starry.”

Twilight waved a dismissive hoof. “The shining part counts because stars shine. It’s a lot of semantics and justifications…” She trailed off.

Pinkie decided not to pursue it. “I want food.”

“Oh. Are you hungry?” Twilight reached for the nurse’s call button.

Pinkie shook her head. “No! I want the name to have something to do with food!”

“I see.” Twilight tilted her head. “Is that something your family does?”

“Nah.” Pinkie giggled. “I just like it. Plus, you’re “Twilight” and I’m “Pie” and we’re a nighttime food couple!”

“Nighttime food…” Twilight tapped her hoof on the siding of the bed. “You mean… kind of like a midnight snack?”

Pinkie squealed in delight. “That’s it! That’s so super cute, Twilight!”

Twilight cocked an eyebrow. “Really? You like it?”

Pinkie reached out and gestured for Twilight to hug her. The unicorn obliged happily.

“Like it? I love it! Midnight Snack is the perfect name for our little mixed up pony!”

Twilight snuggled her face into Pinkie’s mane and breathed a happy sigh. “Yeah. It’s not bad. Not bad at all.”

---Author's Note---
This was a story written for Thirty Minute Ponies for the prompt, "Two pony parents discuss what to name their foal." Hope you enjoyed. :)

The Want Me Need Me Spell

There was a perfectly logical explanation for why Twilight was experimenting with a love spell.

No. Not a love spell, per se; she was merely tweaking the Want It Need It spell a little to see if she could somehow inspire feelings of affection in sentient beings. That wasn’t so difficult to believe, was it? After all, there were so many different ways a spell like that could come in handy. For example, if some kind of monster was attacking Ponyville she could utilize the spell to ensnare it and lead it away from town without causing any more collateral damage. Maybe it could be used to help plants grow quicker much like the effect of playing music for them. Or if the population of badgers suddenly plummeted and the remaining few refused to mate and Equestria was in danger of having badgers go completely extinct she could save the day then too.

She definitely wasn’t dabbling with the arcane sciences because she was having difficulty expressing herself to a very special somepony. Celestia forbid anyone accuse her of attempting to bend the rules of the universe to woo a certain bubbly, beautiful, and breathtaking mare. Nonsense. That would be completely unethical.

Twilight stood in the basement of the library after having locked the door and setting up as many precautions as possible to make sure nopony walked in on her. It wouldn’t do to have somepony start jumping to conclusions and making assumptions when she only had Equestria’s best interests at heart.

She had written out the basic composition of the Want It Need It spell on a few scrolls and had begun cross-referencing some of the main components with the components of a certain love potion; both had a lot in common, targeting a certain area of the brain and releasing a good amount of hormones which triggered the feelings of desire and obsession. The main difference was the mode of targeting the object which the person it was used on would desire and the fact that the potion was for living things while the spell was more often embedded in inanimate objects. The side effect of the potion causing ponies to require constant eye contact was disconcerting, but she hoped that it could be avoided by using the spell component instead. She had briefly considered just seeing what would happen if she just cast the Want It Need It spell on herself, but she remembered that the spell also had the unfortunate effect of affecting all ponies who laid eyes on the object that had been enchanted instead of just a single pony.

So what she really needed was a focused spell that only affected one po… creature, but was not accompanied by debilitating side-effects. Easy as Pie. Erm… Piece of cake? No…

Twilight shook her head. No time for such thoughts. There was only time for science.

She had drafted what looked like a pretty good first attempt and began setting up for her first test run. She had struggled with just how she could test the spell; after all it was completely out of the question to experiment with ponies or Spike since there was no telling what could go wrong. Fluttershy would never forgive her if she tried experimenting on any of her animal friends, and there was no real way to know if the spell had worked or not on a plant. That left only one viable option: herself. What was the worst possible thing that could happen? She’d fall in love with herself? She rolled her eyes at the thought; more than likely this first go wouldn’t do anything at all and she’d have to go back to the drawing board and start all over. A small voice in the back of her mind rang a quiet warning bell, but was promptly ignored. This was important. Equestria needed her to make sacrifices and take risks for the greater good.

Yeah. The greater good.

She read over her notes one more time before positioning herself in front of a large mirror; she had taped a note to herself on the corner as a precaution, explaining the reversal steps and practically pleading with her future self to go through them in the event of magically induced narcissism. She closed her eyes and concentrated intently on the casting patterns she had written, keeping the image of her own face at the forefront of her mind as a focus for her pooling magic.

She was approaching the crest of the spell when she heard a familiar voice sing out, “Hi Twilight!”

Her eyes shot open. Right in front of her were two bright, baby blue eyes and a wide grin, and when she said right in front of she meant right in front of; the pony had her nose pressed up to Twilight’s, disregarding all pretenses of personal space. Twilight felt sudden heat rising in her cheeks and ears and her thoughts diverged down paths and alleys filled with laughter and bubblegum; she realized too late how dangerous her shift in focus was.

She felt the sudden surge of pressure in her horn and tried vainly to refocus on herself, but when the purple aura discharged, it surrounded the intruder instead. She was lifted into the air, eyes darting around and mouth slightly agape, but her eyes soon glazed over and bright light began to shine out of them. Twilight stared in horror as her friend twitched and shuddered and jolted as magic flowed through her brain and attempted to alter chemicals and synapses. This was both precisely what she had wanted and exactly what she had feared would happen; she had never intended to use the spell, that was ridiculous, but she had thought that immersing herself in the process of creating it would help ease her feelings one way or the other. But now this…

The lights faded and the pink pony slowly drifted back down to the ground.

Twilight raced over to her fallen friend and helped her sit up as she blinked in confusion, “Oh my gosh, Pinkie! I’m so sorry! I hope I didn’t give you any permanent brain damage. How many hooves am I holding up?”

Pinkie stared at Twilight, mouth slightly agape, before a goofy grin slowly stretched itself across her face, “Gee, Twilight. Have I ever told you you have really pretty eyes?”

Twilight blinked, still holding up a single hoof, “Um. I don’t think so.”

“That’s terrible!” Pinkie lamented, “Because you do! They’re so purple and sparkly and gorgeous!” Pinkie said the last word in a sort of wistful sigh.

Twilight began circling Pinkie, checking up and down for any outward traces of injury or change, “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? You don’t feel different in any way?”

Suddenly, Pinkie was in front of her again, large blue pools engulfing her, “I feel fine! Better than fine! I feel,” Pinkie lowered her eyelids with a cheeky smirk, “magical.”

Twilight felt her heart pounding and stumbled over herself trying to back away, “M-magical? Magical how, exactly?”

But Twilight couldn’t escape the enthusiastic earth equine. Pinkie was right there, face only inches away from hers, a single eyebrow arched and the barest of smiles curving her lips, “Would you like to see?”

Twilight’s breaths came shorter and she felt as though she would start hyper-ventilating soon if she couldn’t get herself under control, but she couldn’t get over the fact that Pinkie’s mouth was a mere breath away, “Um… I…” Mortification overwhelmed her as her vocabulary failed her, just when she needed it, too. Twilight felt herself beginning to blush furiously.

Pinkie chuckled, “Feeling a little tongue-tied, you silly filly? You could use it for something else if you wanted.”

Twilight licked her lips reflexively. Pinkie made no moves, she just stared Twilight down with eyes that practically smoldered, smiling a foxy little grin. Twilight’s brain shorted out; she was filing many inquiries but receiving no feedback, only static. Without rational thought to guide her she had to turn to the less rational which was more than willing to step up and take the reins.

Twilight closed the gap. She found Pinkie’s mouth soft and inviting, yielding, and warm; the pink pony tasted sweet but spicy, and Twilight lost herself in the sensation of the mare. She felt Pinkie smile beneath her lips, followed immediately by the curious probing of her tongue. Twilight let her in. Best decision ever. Twilight felt her knees getting a little weak, and Pinkie seemed to pick up on this as a cue to start pushing her back. Twilight tumbled backwards onto her back and stared up as Pinkie stood over her with a cheeky grin. Her head was swimming.

Pinkie perked an eyebrow before leaning down and nuzzling along Twilight’s jaw line, “You super adorable little unicorn.” Twilight sucked in a breath as Pinkie nibbled gently on her ear. Slowly and deliberately, Pinkie began grooming the sides of Twilight’s face, dragging a teasing tongue across tufts of lavender fur and the flushed skin beneath.

In some obscure corner of Twilight’s mind she heard that same small voice of reason begging her to remember how she had found herself in this position, but Twilight was having a hard time focusing on anything besides the position of Pinkie’s mouth trailing butterfly kisses up the bridge of her nose and in-between her eyes. Pinkie smirked and gave a short lick right beneath the base of Twilight’s horn causing the unicorn to blush even more furiously. Pinkie paused, gazing down once more at Twilight. Twilight attempted to reach back up to lock mouths with the mare again, but she couldn’t prop herself up high enough.

Pinkie giggled, “Okie dokie.” And she dove back in for another kiss.

Twilight reveled in the feeling, the raw emotion and pleasure behind the gesture. I love you. That single thought pierced through the hormone-addled fog in her brain. I love her. Suddenly she felt sick. How could she be doing this if she really loved her? This was sick; she was doing nothing but taking advantage of her.

Pinkie must have noticed Twilight’s sudden shift in mood because she drew back with an inquisitive expression written across her face, “What’s the matter?”

Twilight shook her head, clearing away the last of the haze, “I can’t do this, Pinkie. It’s not right.”

Pinkie tilted her head, “Are you sure? I thought we were having fun.”

Twilight swallowed the surge of desire that swelled at the thought, “I’m sure.”

Pinkie paused for a few moments before shrugging and helping Twilight back onto her hooves. Twilight trotted over to her mirror, searching for the spell that would undo this horrendous mistake. It had been one of the most incredible experiences she had the pleasure of engaging in, but it had come at the cost of her integrity and the least she could do was restore Pinkie’s freewill.

At least Pinkie didn’t seem to be suffering. The pink pony stood there staring at her with an amused smirk on her face, and Twilight couldn’t help but ask, “What are you thinking about?”

Pinkie did an impromptu jig, “I’m just thinking that that was such a fun game! We should play again soon, Twilight!”

Twilight blinked. “What game?”

Pinkie rolled her eyes with a giggle, “You know what game, silly! You’re the one that invited me to play!”

Twilight rubbed her forehead as a headache began forming behind her eyes, “Hold on. What were you doing here in my lab tonight?”

Pinkie took a deep breath before launching into her explanation, “Well, I was at home going over recipe ideas with Gummy when my eye started fluttering and my tail twitched right before my nose got itchy!” She stared at Twilight as though the unicorn should know what this meant, but Twilight only stared blankly so Pinkie continued, “It means that Twilight Sparkle wants to play a game! Duh!”

Twilight murmured, “Oh. Right.”

Pinkie trotted in a little circle, “So I came right here to see what kind of game you had in mind! And when I got here you had your eyes all closed and your horn all glowing so I looked at your doodles,” she gestured to the pile of notes on top of the desk, “and I figured it out!”

Twilight frowned, “You figured it out? Figured what out?”

Pinkie rolled her eyes, “Your game! Come on, Twilight, at least try to keep up!”

Twilight furrowed her brow, this was getting them nowhere, “I wasn’t playing a game. I was working.”

Pinkie snorted, “There’s no need to keep pretending. Your sneaky spell is all done now, remember? You got bored.”

Twilight stared at the grinning pink pony; what she was saying made no sense. She most definitely had not been bored. Um. No that wasn’t it. Why was Pinkie so adamant about the whole situation being a game? Yeah, that’s what didn’t make sense. Was this a side-effect of the spell, or was it some kind of anomaly that occurred because the subject was Pinkie or…

Pinkie stared at the paper taped to the mirror, “Hey. If you had a second spell to make the game stop why didn’t you use it?” She shook her head sadly, “Maybe I should have kept going?” She cocked her head at Twilight, “Are you still playing? Is that why you’re still pretending?”

Oh. Twilight could really be thick sometimes, couldn’t she?

She blinked. “So you were never really…”

Pinkie adopted a sultry look once more, slinking closer to the unicorn, purring, “Your mane is so siiilky. I just want to run my hooves through it. Want to run yours through mine?”

Twilight waved her hooves in the air and shouted, “No! Um… I release you?”

Pinkie’s mouth twitched up before conforming back into a seductive little smirk. She brushed by Twilight, running her tail under her chin, “Don’t play so hard to get.”

Twilight felt herself flushing again. What was she…? She focused on her horn and shot off a few colorful sparks. Just for show. “I… uh… Shazam?” Twilight opened her eyes to see Pinkie staring at her, “You’re no longer under the effects of the… "sneaky spell".”

Pinkie flopped onto her side and flailed her hooves in the air dramatically, “I’m FREE!”

Twilight let out a shuddering sigh, “Yeah. You’re free.”

Pinkie seemed not to have heard Twilight, “You were super cute being all blushy and shy, but do you think next time I could be the mad scientist and you could be the one zapped by my spell?” Pinkie reared on her hind hooves and wiggled her front ones in the air, “Ka-POW! Now you’re all mine, Twilight Sparkle!” She cackled sinisterly, “Gimme all your kisses!”

Twilight felt an odd mix of relief and confusion churning in her stomach. The words that finally made their way out of Twilight’s mouth were, “How could you cast a spell?”

Pinkie tapped her chin in thought before leaping into the air with a shout, “Ooh! Maybe I’ll make a potion!” She mimed stirring something in a huge pot, “Drink this.” She handed Twilight an invisible cup, “And then I’d have you!” She grinned triumphantly.

Twilight could only gape; Pinkie noticed.

She frowned, “What’s the matter? Did I mess up? Is it because I didn’t wait until the second spell? Now you don’t want to play again?”

Twilight nodded a bit too enthusiastically, “Yes! I mean, no. I mean,” She drug a hoof across her face with a groan. She replied meekly, “Yes. I would like to play again sometime.”

Pinkie hopped on her hooves, “Yay!” She leaned forward and planted a sloppy kiss on Twilight’s nose, “It’s a date!”

A date.

Twilight grinned from ear to ear at the sound. A date. How marvelous.

There was only one thing that still needed resolving, and Twilight brought it up reluctantly, “Pinkie Pie?”

“Yeah?”

“How in Equestria did you get in here?”

Pinkie smiled one of her enigmatic smiles and shrugged.

Twilight took a deep breath to inquire further but released it with a sigh as a single thought blasted through her desire to understand, Does it even really matter, you foal? She supposed it didn't.

"So..." Twilight drug a hoof across the ground, "About how long do you think it'll take your potion to brew exactly?"

Not long. Not long at all.