"I do believe you have managed to out do yourself this time, old boy." Discord whispered to himself, content to whistle a jaunty tune as he put his plans in motion.
"You'll stay away from my team, and you'll stay away from me if you know what's good for you!"
"Oh this is going to be priceless."
"Discord! I swear to Celesti-"
Oh, he had her ire. Nopony bothered to explain to poor Spitty that she was only egging him on.
"Arrrrgggh! Get!"
And she had his mirth.
I'm going to strangle you if I get my hooves on you! I swear to Celestial!"
At first itching powder did the trick. Watching her not squirm was more satisfying then when she did. Those moments when she was expected to stand stock still as the powder worked it magic. He could see the utter irritation in her eyes, but, alas, all good things must come to an end. She started packing her flightsuit with her and watched it with an almost paranoid gaze. He couldn't imagine why.
Once that boat set sail he moved on to bigger and better. Nothing was quite as satisfying as a pie to the face. Not his face of course, unless it was a pineapple pie. He had nothing against pineapples. Despite his efforts, she was fast. Almost like a twitchy precognition fast. She moved with decisive speed that put herself out of the pies path almost every time. Only the first time and smatterings since have managed to land. No matter, her screaming his name as he watched from inside of a locker was enough.
He had to step up his game. Two pies. Spitty was expecting the first. The second, on the other hoof, found its mark. He squealed with delight as he watched her struggle to pull pie from her recently washed mane.
There were not many opportunities afforded to Discord to ply his craft on the suspecting and furious mare. When she saw him she would always chase him off, usually falling to another of his pranks in the process. She was rapidly approaching her wits end.
Discord put the finishing touches on his trap. She was getting better at dodging the one-two pie combos. Discord was certain this set up would be unavoidable. He trap was ready, and judging by the sounds coming from the hall his subject was approaching. With a mirthful smile Discord receded into the clouds that made up the ceiling.
Spitfire was in a chipper mood as she entered the hall. She wore nothing, which was quite the rarity. It was a holiday weekend, with no planed events, thus she had the weekend to herself. No uniforms, no cadets, no sport flying. Just her, the sun, and most certainly no Discord. He wouldn't be around, she deluded herself. No he was probably busy in Canterlot. The last show of the holidays was over, and Discord was never around when there were no shows. So she smiled as she walked down the hall, right into Discord's trap.
She heard it activated before she saw anything. The damned prankster's traps were all brilliantly hidden within the clouds of the training facility. Invisible to the eyes, with the activation trigger typically hidden under a layer of clouds, the only thing that gave it away was the sound of it triggering. Which left Spitfire with milliseconds to react. Pure instinct made her drop to her stomach as a pie flew by overhead. She knew another would be coming from below, it would hit right where her face was now. She tucked and rolled and the second pie went flying up through the ceiling. She stood still for a few moments, allowing her anger to build. She opened her mouth and instead of words of Discord targeted rage leaving her mouth a platter full of pie entered it. In fact 10 platters of pies. Three struck her face, one from below, and one from each side. Four pies collided with her wings, back, and chest. The last 3 went for her flanks and her stomach.
Covered from head to hoof in pie she sat down, absolutely flabbergasted. Watching her from above through a peephole in the clouds Discord was already having difficulties containing his laughter, but he awaited what he anticipated the most. She would scream in rage, with ire befitting gods and he would have his fill for days, but rage never came. Instead a different sound met his ears. Sobbing.
Discord pushed his head through the clouds into the hall in order to make sure he was hearing this right. His hearing was fine, but what he was hearing most certainly was not. Her sobs were quiet and controlled. Her crying was very much unlike her bursts of anger. Her fiery demeanor when wet with her own tears dissolved into the puddle that was forming at her pie sodden hooves.
"Are you happy?" She asked him. "You've won. I didn't ask for this, but you've won." She pawed around until her hoof found a mostly empty pie pan. She lifted it up and mashed it into her face, reintroducing pie to where the tears had wiped it away.
Discord was speechless. He felt himself falling through the ceiling, and he landed on the floor before her. He held an empty hand in front of him, his mouth open with no words to come. Spitfire wouldn't meet his gaze.
"You've been pranking me for months now. Every show we have I find myself peeking around corners and through doors before I enter them. I step carefully and if I hear a sound that even sounds remotely like the clicking of your traps I leap away from where I'm standing.
The first pie was funny. I was drenched in sweat and wearing my flight suit. It needed a wash and so did I. It was easy to brush off. The second was amusing because it missed me and hit Soarin. He loves pie... why don't you hit him more?"
The third scared the wits out of me, and the fourth is where it became tiresome. Then you started using two of these Celestia-damned pies. I haven't been able to eat dessert around Soarin in weeks. I never though pie would make me cringe."
She brought her hooves up and started cleaning herself off. She saw Discord out of the corner of her eye, but dared not to look at him. He remained silent, still not quite sure what was happening. She got to her hooves and made to head towards the showers, she walked around the silent demi-god, leaving him in her silence.
