Clyde's Tales

by Salivanth

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Slice of Life
Length: 12650

A collection of fairy tales featuring an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde.

Everyone knows how fairy tales go: We meet a dumb protagonist who does something foolish. Things go wrong. We learn a moral.

Clearly, fairy tale authors have never met Clyde Pie.

In this collaboration, a number of your favorite ponyfic authors take a fresh look at classic fairy tales, and what we can learn from the wisdom of an eminently sensible earth pony. (This is an open collection; submission rules can be found here.)

List of authors:

Salivanth
Horizon
Cloud Wander
Benman
DJ TR33
SirTruffles
Meta Four
chankl2
Nonagon
Quixotic Enigma
Caffeinated Pinkie
Farsan
SoothingCoffee
Thomas Hunter
TheLevelHeadedBrony
Goldfinch142
Kandagger
Ghost Pikachu
SwiftStroke
GroaningGreyAgony
The Iguana Man
DaeCat
JumpingShinyFrogs

Cover art by Veggie55

Published 2013-11-04 17:30:03 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-17 06:32:03 UTC

Clydesdale Pie and the Doom That Came to Ponyville

Clydesdale Pie and the Doom That Came to Ponyville

West of Ponyville, the hills rise wild. It was in these shadowed backroads that Clyde encountered the stranger, warming itself before a small fire.

The stranger was malformed; it hunched forward across the narrow trail, eagerly displaying its wares.

"Here in," declared the stranger, lovingly stroking the black-bound book that it offered to Clyde, "are the secrets of the ancients. The explanation of Time. The pointlessness of Hope. The end of Love. Is this wisdom not worth a few coppers, master?"

Clydesdale Pie gave the wretched creature a few bits. He collected the black book. He considered it. Then tossed the book onto the creature's fire.

"What have you done?!" cried the stranger.

"I have saved your soul and my own," said Clyde, as he continued towards his home.

And the stranger, left in darkness, looked after him. And, in time, it followed.

Author's Note

By Cloud Wander.

Clyde and the Grapes

Clyde and the Grapes

Once upon a time, there lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. One day, while walking through the forest around his home, Clyde discovered a bushel of grapes. They looked wonderfully large and ripe, but Clyde could not reach them no matter how he strained, and he knew no pegasi to obtain them for him.

Clyde went to his wife and daughters and told them of his find. Together, the family walked to the grape bush, and Clyde’s youngest daughter stood on his back. From this position, she could collect as many grapes as she wanted, and pass them down to the others. Once they had picked their fill, they ate them.

The grapes were delicious.

The moral of the story is: Even the most formidable of obstacles can be overcome with friends by your side.

Author's Note

By Salivanth.

Clyde and the North Wind and the Sun

Clyde And The North Wind And The Sun

Once upon a time, an eminently unsensible alicorn named Boreas went before the other gods. “I am the greatest of us,” he said, “for I am the North Wind, and none of you can match my strength.”

So the gods challenged him, and one by one he overpowered them. At last he defeated all but Celestia, who only smiled. “If you are the greatest of us,” she said, “then surely you can take a cloak from a common pony.”

Boreas looked until he found the commonest pony in all Equestria: an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. And Boreas sent the North Wind to blow the cloak from Clyde's body. But when the icy wind blew, Clyde gripped his cloak, and the harder Boreas sent the North Wind, the harder Clyde gripped, until finally Boreas gave up in disgust.

“Your challenge is impossible,” Boreas told Celestia, “for that pony's will is unbreakable, and none of us can take that cloak, no matter how strong we may be.”

And so Celestia went before Clyde in all her glory, bearing her crown and her gorget and the fire of the Sun itself.
Clyde tipped his hat. “Ma'am,” he said, for his mother had told him to be polite.

“Hello, Clyde,” she said. “Would you please give me your cloak?” And he did.

Author's Note

By Benman.

Clyde and the Cart

Clyde and the Cart

Once upon a time, there lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. One day, Clyde was pulling a cart to market along with two of his daughters. A unicorn passed by them on the road, and looked upon them with disapproval.

"You are wasting that cart," he said to Clyde’s daughters. "You should allow your father to ride upon it, and carry him, rather than force him to walk when it is not necessary."

Clyde told the pony he was right, and hopped onto the cart. As soon as the other pony was out of sight, he hopped back off. One of his daughters said: "Why aren't you staying on the cart, father?"

"If I were to stay on this cart the entire ride to market, with my extra weight on the cart rather than contributing to pulling it, you would all be too tired to walk the long trip back with the supplies we have to buy. That other pony didn't think things through before offering his advice." Clyde replied.

"Then why did you get onto the cart in the first place, father?" asked his other daughter.

"Sometimes it is easier to placate fools than to argue with them," Clyde said.

Author's Note

By Salivanth.

Clyde and the Emperor's New Clothes

Clyde and the Emperor's New Clothes

Long ago, an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde (a distant ancestor of the one we know today) lived in the northern empire under the iron hoof of the vain and greedy Sombra. Despite the harsh living conditions and the terrifying crackdowns of the secret police, many were the ponies who tried to curry favor with Sombra — since he faced the constant threat of rebellion, and those who helped him solidify his rule found themselves lavishly rewarded indeed.

One day, Sombra decided that he needed new formalwear befitting his grandeur. While suitmakers across the land tried to outdo each other with ever more ostentatious designs draped in jewels and exotic fabrics, two very clever unicorns showed up in his throne room with nothing but a large empty box and some tailor's tools.

"I have special dungeons for those who waste my valuable time," Sombra said, charging darkness into his horn.

"Wait! You'll like this," the clever unicorns said. "We have gone throughout the land to collect fragments of the finest, most perfect shadows, and woven them into a miraculous fabric lighter than air, softer than silk, and stronger than steel." They moved their hooves as if unfolding a suit and showing it off. "And the best part? It is only visible to ponies who wish to humbly serve you, the Lord of Darkness, with all their hearts. Those who do not accept their rightful place as your subjects are forever denied its magnificent beauty."

At this, the other designers looked at each other, and filled with fear, fell all over themselves praising the majesty of the phantom suit. Sombra, suitably impressed, declared the unicorns the winners. He sent heralds throughout the empire, who praised the new suit's superlative qualities (conspicuously leaving out the requirements for appreciating it) and ordered everypony to attend a parade in which he could show it off.

In the front row of that crowd stood a young Clyde. When Sombra sauntered out in front of him wearing nothing at all, Clyde's jaw dropped.

Sombra stopped and walked up to the colt. "Is there something … wrong with my clothing, my little pony?" he said, lips curling into an eager grin.

Clyde thought quickly, realizing what the unicorns must have done. "Quite possibly so, your magnificence," he said. "May I explain?"

"Oh," Sombra said, beckoning forth his soldiers, "please do."

"Your heralds said this beautiful suit was made of fabric lighter than air and yet stronger than steel," Clyde said. Sombra nodded, and Clyde pointed to the imperial guards. "What's wrong with your suit is that there's not enough of them. If your guards' armor were made of the same fabric, they would not only be nearly invincible, but also unencumbered by the weight of armor, and the grandeur of their approach would break the spirit of the rebellion before they ever lifted a hoof."

Sombra's eyes widened. "You're right." He wheeled and pointed at the tailors. "You! I'm assigning you this year's entire military budget. You are to outfit every soldier in my kingdom with new armor. Immediately."

And that is why, when Celestia and Luna led an army from the south to free the Crystal Empire, they reached the capital without losing a single battle.

Author's Note

By Horizon.

Clyde and the Miser

Clyde And The Miser

Once upon a time, an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde happened upon a diamond dog filling in a hole. Clyde offered to help, but the diamond dog shooed him away. “This hole is where I have buried my treasure,” said the dog, “and no one will approach it but me. I will keep it here forever, and it will be safe.”

“But,” said Clyde, “if you will keep it there forever, what good does it do? You may as well bury an ordinary rock.”

The diamond dog only sneered and kept on digging.

And when Clyde returned home, his wife chose an ordinary rock, and Clyde buried it in a secret place. Clyde's treasure remains safe to this day, and its presence brings him great joy.

Author's Note

By Benman.

The Nightmare and Clyde Pie

The Nightmare and Clyde Pie

The Nightmare went to a rock farm. She was lookin' for a soul to steal.
And there was Clyde, set down inside, eatin' a healthful meal.
With such a downright sens'ble guy, a deal could be tricky.
But since the Moon wiped out too soon, she wasn't feelin' picky.

"Hello there, pal, I'll tell you what," the Nightmare sat and said,
"I hear you're great in rock cultivatin'. Now don't that swell your head?
But I'll wager you I'm better yet. (That's just the Nightmare's role.)
You wanna bet your family's debt against a grip on your soul?"

Well, Clyde said, "I know I'm the best, at least 'round these here parts.
So whet your shoes, and come back Tues…day, when rock season starts."

Now Clyde, cinch up your harness tight, and weed those feldspar fields.
'Cause evil's cut the cards again and the Nightmare's gonna deal.
And if you win, your family's farm is purchased free and clear,
But if you lose, then Nightmare Earth is here.

So Tuesday comes, and in a burst of sulphur-flavored smoke,
the Nightmare's out, and starts to shout, "Now boy, pick up your yoke —"
But then a flash of rainbow light ker-blasts her where she stood,
She screams and writhes, cut down to size, and then is gone for good.

Clyde's daughter and her friends high-hoof and wander off to play.
Celestia lands. "Clyde, just as planned. You sure did save the day."
Clyde nods, and says, "I'll let you know if she comes back again,
'Cause that's my worth. I'm down-to-earth. The most that's ever been."

Author's Note

This song is sung to the tune of The Devil Went Down To Georgia.

By Horizon.

Clyde, the Tower, and the Moon Princess

Clyde, the Tower, and the Moon Princess.

Once upon a time, short manes were in at the court of Canterlot, and Princess Luna was having none of it, instead letting hers grow until it filled her room with its length. In the end, her mother got so fed up she banished Luna to a tall tower with neither door nor stair and but a small window to look out from.

Naturally, the local princes, knights, and lords made use of this opportunity to woo the Princess without the terrifying stare of her mother scrutinizing their every move. Each in turn crept up to the base of the tower and called:

“Oh Luna, my Luna! Let down your silken mane and let me up!”

And each time without fail came the response:

“LEAVE US ALONE: WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!”

This went on for some time until who should come along but an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde Pie the Cobbler. He took one look at the tower and went back to town, returning after dark with both saddlebags packed full.

Princess Luna was sitting groggily at the bare table in the center of her prison when she heard the clink of a grappling hook. She looked to the window just in time to find Clyde pulling his rope back up.

“WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?” Luna griped.

“Just thought you might want some coffee,” Clyde shrugged, producing several flasks from his saddlebags.

The Princess’s eyes lit up. What started with coffee soon turned into breakfast, then lunch, and several games of checkers besides.

Moral of the story: Prudent practicality procures the Princess.

Author's Note

By SirTruffles.

Clyde the Woodcutter

Clyde the Woodcutter

Once upon a time in a vast forest lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde, who made a living cutting wood.

One day, Clyde passed by a pond. As he was sure-footed and always kept his humble bronze ax properly fastened in its holder, he walked right past without incident. Suddenly, a voice called out from behind:

“Thank the stars!”

Clyde turned to find a seapony popping its head out of the pond.

“May I help you?” asked Clyde.

“I just wanted to say how eternally grateful I am that somepony walked by my humble pond without fumbling their junk into the water,” the seapony huffed. “In gratitude for your prudence, I grant you everything that has ever fallen in.”

She wiggled her fins and suddenly a multitude of axes appeared before Clyde: some bronze, others stone, and there were even a few wooden ones. He stared for a moment, blinked, and stared again.

“I’m not a rubbish pony,” he stated.

The seapony’s smile strained. “I’ll turn your ax to gold if you just get rid of it all for me.”

“How can I cut wood with a golden ax?” Clyde asked.

“Platinum?” the seapony pleaded.

“How about you turn the junk to gold?” Clyde suggested.

“Oh. OH! Shoo-be-doo-be-doo!” The seapony fluttered her fins, and the whole pile turned to gold.

“Pleasure doing business with you,” Clyde said, scooping up the loot.

Moral of the story: Be patient with fairytale creatures: there’s no qualifying exam.

Author's Note

By SirTruffles.

Clyde and the Magic Cave

Once upon a time, an earth pony was walking along the road to town when he met a horse. The horse was clad in a long, dark cloak, but it could not hide his height—easily that of a Princess.

“Howdy, stranger,” the earth pony said.

“Hail, fair earth pony,” the horse said. “You may call me ... Reiziv Dnarg. And what might I call you?”

“I’m Clyde.”

“Clyde! What a sensible name. In truth, you strike me as a sensible pony,” Reiziv said. Clyde was, in fact, eminently sensible, though it was odd this horse could know that. “Can you spare an hour to help a horse in need?”

Clyde agreed. Reiziv led him off the main road, onto a side path which ended at the mouth of a cave.

Reiziv said, “In that cave lies vast wealth: gold and jewels beyond count. In the middle is a simple gold ring. Bring me that ring, Clyde. And mark my words: touch none of the other treasure, until you have brought the ring back! Once you do that, the rest of the treasure will be yours to keep.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. Grand Vizier—”

“What? How did you know who I am?” For the horse was indeed none other than the Grand Vizier of Saddle Arabia, traveling incognito.

“I follow the international news, and your disguise doesn’t cover your face,” Clyde said. “Anyhow, I don’t meddle with dragon treasure, so you’ll need to find somepony else to help you get that ring.”

The Vizier smiled. “Oh, but this is no dragon hoard. We stand before the only entrance to the cave, and there is a powerful enchantment here to keep all of dragon-kind out.”

Clyde placed a hoof on the rocks of the cave entrance, and he knew at once that there truly was powerful magic resting upon the stones.

Clyde said, “Then why don’t you just go in and get that gold ring yourself? I’m only a few years younger than you, and I don’t have any prior spelunking experience.”

“My reasons are my own!” the Vizier retorted. “I’ve promised you wealth beyond imagining for your help. Is that not enough?”

“Now you’re hoping that greed will blind me. Mighty suspicious, hmm?”

The Grand Vizier sighed. “Very well. The enchantment on the cave does more than repel dragon-kind. It bars all thinking creatures from entrance, save those judged purest of heart and strongest of mind. Only a few in any generation can pass the enchantment. You are one of those few.”

Clyde said, “Sounds like whatever is inside that cave is mighty important.”

“Indeed. A powerful magic artifact.”

“Important enough for somepony to set up a magic barrier to keep it from falling into the wrong hooves. And you want me to compromise the security?”

“Listen, and listen well, Clyde. I will have that ring, one way or another. Either you help me, and I reward you—or I find someone else to help, and you receive nothing. Choose!”

“Hmm. Reckon I could use the cash.” Clyde placed his hoof again on the arch of the cave entrance. Then he shouted into the cave, “Boy, oh boy, I sure do love me some treasure! I can’t wait to sell it and blow the money on ale and wenches!”

The cave collapsed. The gold ring was never seen again. The Grand Vizier’s planned coup of Saddle Arabia never came to pass. Five bloody wars over possession of the ring were never fought.

“Whoops,” Clyde said.

Author's Note

By Meta Four.

Clyde and the Giant Statue

Once upon a time, there lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde, who was in charge of taking care of the sheep owned by a couple of wackos living in a rocky field. He was finally bored of babysitting sheep after a few days, so he decided to travel among the Western Mountains for some fun and excitement, because it was obvious that taking care of sheep, well, was not fun or exciting. He could stay behind like the owners told him to, but he changed his choice in the last minute.

He arrived at a village after a few minutes of walking. Instead of laughing at their genius idea of building their village on the very edge of the mountain, he approached the villagers to see if they needed any help with anything that was not related to architecture.

"Fellow Villagers, do you require the assistance of Clyde?" he bellowed.

"Oh Clyde, our village has been the victim of a giant stone statue for centuries! Every year we must give twenty percent of our food and livestock to the titan, or he'll devour our babies!" they cried.

It was true that the village lacked both food and babies. Perhaps it was because the village was built on the edge of the mountain, which is where the most infertile and unstable land resided, but Clyde had already told himself not to laugh at their stupidity.

"Fear not villagers, show me this giant and I will do my best to solve the situation." He responded.

"Oh thank you Clyde. The giant is a mythical creature called the Hubba, who challenges strangers to his own tests. If you win, he will do what he promises to you."

"So, where is this big giant?" Clyde asked.

"Right here."

A giant stone statue suddenly rose up from the bottom of the village, causing the villagers to hide in their huts as the titan emerged from the ground, roaring.

"I am the great Hubba. Prepare to..."

"I do not wish to fight you, oh great Hubba. For I am a peaceful and sensible horse at heart."

"Well perhaps a challenge then?" The giant extended his hand and picked out the unamused pony, lifting him up to the clouds. "If you can escape from my hand, I will leave the village forever."

Since Clyde did not have wings or magic, he was offended by the giant's proposal. "I am a sensible pony, and you are not making sense. It would be better if you put me on the top of the mountain and the challenge would be for me to go in the palm of your hand."

"Indeed it will." The giant placed Clyde on top of the tallest mountain and distanced his hand a few feet away from the earth pony. "Begin." To his surprise Clyde just turned around and slid down the mountain, ignoring the stone giant. "Do you admit defeat? Does this mean I win?"

"No, fellow giant, I have won. I never said to change the challenge. I just suggested another opinion. Since you only agreed on my choice and not change it to your own decision, the old challenge stands. The villagers are free."

"I...must keep my word. You are a smart one, earth pony." he spluttered.

Leaving the stunned monster, who began to leave the village, he arrived at the villagers, who were starting to have a celebration in his honour before becoming stunned themselves as Clyde ignored them as well and quickly went back to the rocky field, where the sheep were still resting in, as although the land was rocky, the grass was fertile and sweet.

"And by the way villagers, move your village, you dummies. Even my sheep are smarter than you. Than me too actually. They were smart enough not to leave the farm, and I wasn't."

Moral: Sometimes the first choice of a decision may be the best one.

Author's Note

By chankl2.

Clyde and the Narrow Bridge

Once upon a time, there lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde, who was on his way home after a long journey. He traveled at a brisk yet reasonable pace, for he knew that on that day his oldest daughter had returned from her schooling to visit her family. At nightfall she would leave by train and he would not see her for another year, so he resolved to make haste in order to spend as much time with her as possible.

On his travel, Clyde came across a very narrow bridge that stretched across a magnificently wide and deep gorge. The bridge was old and rickety, with barely enough room for a broad and strong pony such as Clyde to walk it, but as this was the fastest way to reach the other side of the gorge, he steadied his nerves and began to cross. Five minutes of walking passed, then ten, and still the other side remained far away.
When he finally reached the middle of the bridge, he beheld another pony crossing the bridge in the other direction. The pair sized each other up as they came face to face, determining that both of them were strong and broad and neither possessed wings or magic that they might use to pass the other by. If either of them were to have any hope of reaching the other side, one of them would have to turn around.

"Friend," Clyde said, "I am sorry to interrupt your travel, but I'm afraid that you must go back the way you came and let me pass. For my daughter has returned home for only one day, and I must reach her before the sun sets."

"On the contrary," the stranger said, "it is you who must turn around and allow me to pass. For I am carrying a bouquet of rare flowers to be delivered to the mayor of the town beyond this gorge, and I will lose my job if I do not reach her before the sun sets."

The pair stared at each other with determination for only a single second. Then, without a word of complaint, Clyde shuffled his hooves carefully on the narrow bridge and turned around. He made haste back the way he had come, and when he arrived at solid ground he allowed the other pony to pass him by. "Thank you, friend," the stranger said. "In truth, however, these flowers are for myself. I carry them with me whenever I cross this bridge in case I meet a pony going the other way. For your kindness, which no pony has been so quick to show before now, you may have one."

Although Clyde was angry with the stranger, he accepted the flower graciously and made haste across the bridge a second time. Because he had not stopped to argue, he was only an hour late when he arrived back at his home. His daughter, whom he had raised to be an eminently sensible pony herself, understood the reason for his delay and was delighted by the flower that he gave her.

The moral of the story is: Sometimes you have to go backwards in order to go forwards.

Author's Note

By Nonagon.

Clyde and the Hare

Once upon a time, there was once an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. This Clyde, though being an earth pony, was considered to be rather slow for his race.

One day, an irresponsible and arrogant earth pony named Hare came to him whilst he was attending his rock farm. “I am the fastest earth pony in the world,” he arrogantly exclaimed to Clyde. “And I've come here from far, and I have to say that you are the slowest pony I have ever seen.”

Clyde met him in the eyes. Were he not a sensible pony, he would feel insulted and taken Hare’s words as a challenge. As it was, Clyde simply nodded his head in agreement. “I am quite slow for an earth pony. And while I have not seen you run, I have no doubt that you are faster than I.”

Hare blinked in surprise, for he did not expect Clyde’s response. After a moment, he gathered his composure and nodded. “Indeed I am.”

There was a long moment of silence between the two, before Clyde, the sensible pony, said, “Say, since you have come here, do you want to join my family for dinner?”

Hare was surprised for a moment, briefly touched, but soon he nodded his head. “Of course, Clyde. I’ll be happy to.”

And thus, Hare participated in Clyde’s dinner. And though Hare was arrogant, and Clyde was sensible, they became rather good friends.

The moral of the story is: Most of the time, it's better to admit your own weakness.

Author's Note

By SoothingCoffee.

Clyde and the Traveller

Once upon a time, there was an infinitely crafty earth pony named Apple Galette. He had travelled all across the wide land of Equestria with only the pack on his back, surviving on his craftiness alone. In all of his travels, Apple Galette had never spent a single bit for shelter, food, or anything else, something of which he was extremely proud.

After traversing a particularly long and barren stretch of land, a wearied Apple Galette stumbled across a rather large group of ponies having a party just on the edge of a small village. As he looked at the large quantity of food the ponies had, his stomach growled, reminding the young traveler that he had not eaten for two moons. So, being the infinitely crafty pony that he was, Apple Galette quickly devised a plan to procure some of their foodstuffs. He sauntered up to an old mare who was standing over a pot of boiling water, speaking to a stallion by the name of Clyde—an eminently sensible ancestor of the Clyde we know and love today.

“Good day ma’am and sir, how are you this beautiful evening?” Apple Galette inquired.

“Good day,” the Clyde said to the earth pony, “Welcome to the Pie Family Reunion, stranger. Who might you be?”

Apple Galette smiled and bowed ever so slightly, “I am but a simple traveler wearied from the road. After traveling for many moons without seeing a single pony, I happened across your party, and found myself longing for some pleasant company and enjoyable conversation.”
The old mare with Clyde smiled a wide, toothless grin, “Well you certainly came to the right place.”

The three of them spoke for quite some time about the many joys life had brought them. Apple Galette told them tales about his adventures on the road. They laughed and sang, and soon found a crowd of ponies gathered around them.

After the group of ponies finished laughing at one of his best stories, the traveler made his move, “I really must continue on, but before I go, I was wondering if I might have a small pot of your boiling water?”

Confused, the old mare replied as she scooped water out into a small cauldron, “You may, but what do you want with it?”

“Why, I am going to make some Stone Soup,” Apple Galette replied.

After setting down the still boiling water, he reached into his pack and produced a single pebble.

“What is that?” the old mare asked.

“This,” the traveler said with the pebble in his mouth, “is the principle ingredient.”

Apple Galette then dropped into the cauldron. He stirred the water for a few moments as if to spread the flavor of the stone throughout the water, before taking a spoonful, cooling it off, and tasting it. Apple Galette pretended to savor the spoonful of faux soup he had poured into his mouth before swallowing it.

“Delicious!” he exclaimed, words oozing with satisfaction, before his face turned into a frown, “Except, it seems to be missing something…Ah! Carrots and potatoes! That’s it! It is missing carrots and potatoes!”

Some of the ponies around him, intrigued by the mysterious nature of the dish, began to search for carrots and potatoes to contribute to the pot. However, they quickly stopped when Clyde raised a hoof.

“Friend,” Clyde said, “If there is anyone in this wide land of Equestria who knows rocks, it’s me, and I know for a fact that the pebble of igneous rock you have put in your soup would not add any flavor to your dish. You are trying to deceive me and my family in order to receive a free meal. If you wanted food to eat, friend, all you needed to do was ask.”

Apple Galette stammered and sputtered, desperately trying—and failing—to come up with a credible explanation. He had been taken aback by the unexpectedly kind offer.

After several minutes, the traveler finally managed, “Might I share in some of your food?”

“You may,” Clyde answered with a smile.

So, Apple Galette joined in on the festivities and was treated like one of the family. He so enjoyed their company and the honest nature of the Pies that he decided to stay in the nearby village where Clyde and his family resided. Soon thereafter, the traveller married Clyde’s eldest daughter, Cherri Pie—the great-great-grandmother of Granny Smith of Ponyville. Thus, the infinitely crafty traveler lived out the rest of his days raising his children and helping in the family rock store. He had never been happier.

Moral of the story: Honesty often is the best policy.

Author's Note

By Thomas Hunter.

Clyde and the Timberwolf

Once upon a time in the land of Equestria, there resided a village where nothing particularly exciting ever happened--other than the occasional cheater at the monthly bridge tournament. This peaceful atmosphere was largely due to the strong sense of community that was found in its residents. So strong were their bonds that when one of them needed help with anything, the others would do everything in their power to help them.

Thus, when young Snickerdoodle needed to raise bits for a school trip to Canterlot, his neighbor offered him a job tending sheep. Snickerdoodle was not happy with this assignment, but he agreed nonetheless. As anypony who has had any shepherding experience knows, sheep are quite stupid creatures, and thus make quite obnoxious company--their favorite pastimes being chewing grass and discussing how much they agree with the current political leaders. Needless to say, the young colt very quickly lost interest in the task at hand, and began thinking of ways to amuse himself. After considering his options he finally hatched a simple plan that would simultaneously ease his boredom and help wake up the sleepy little village he called home.

"Timberwolf! Timberwolf! A timberwolf is attacking the sheep!" shouted Snickerdoodle.

His shouts panicked the dimwitted sheep who, although there was no timberwolf, soon joined in on his shouting, and quickly began looking for cover.

The villagers soon came running up the hill, armed with rocks to help the young colt chase the timberwolf away. However, when they arrived, they saw that there was no such beast. As the villagers realized that there never had been any danger, Snickerdoodle laughed at the ponies' confused and frustrated faces.

Angered by the situation, but chalking the whole thing up to childish inexperience, the majority of the crowd turned around, muttering under their breath as they walked home. However one pony, an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde, stayed behind. He waited patiently for Snickerdoodle's fits of laughter to die down, and gave the colt a few moments to collect himself. After a few minutes, the young colt noticed Clyde was still standing in front of him.

"Are you here to scold me?" Snickerdoodle said with a smirk.

"No," Clyde replied, "I'm here to replace you."

The smirk quickly fell away from the colt's face, "Replace me? Why? It was just a prank!"
Clyde stared intently at the colt. "A prank that could have easily led to your death and the death of the sheep under your care. If you had continued to shout 'timberwolf'--which, based on your lack of remorse you had every intention of doing--ponies would have soon stopped believing you. Then, if a real timberwolf came, they could have easily gobbled you and the sheep right up. That is something I absolutely cannot allow."

Thus, the colt left in shame, and Clyde took over the care of the flock. He had brought with him everything he needed to take care of the sheep--including discussion questions on political leaders in order to converse with them. So, when an actual timberwolf attacked, Clyde was prepared. He pulled out a homemade flamethrower and torched it. The sheep were too busy debating Clyde's last question to notice that they were ever in danger.

As for Snickerdoodle, he didn't end up raising enough bits to go to Canterlot, but he did gain something more precious: a valuable lesson. Something he did not appreciate until he was much, much older.

Moral of the story: Don't send a colt in to do a stallion's job.

Author's Note

By Thomas Hunter.

Clyde and the Tenants

Once upon a time, there was an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde; an ancestor of our beloved Clyde but with the same sensibility and work ethic from working on his rock farm.

One day he received news that his great-uncle Shepherd had died and left him a working rock farm on the other side of Equestria.

"Since I don’t want to move the family," he thought, "I’ll lease the farm out to a group of workers who will live there and work the farm and harvest the crop at the end of the year. These workers will sell the crop and will receive their wages, with the rest of the bits returning to me."

So Clyde placed an ad in the paper with the details of the offer, and soon a group of Diamond Dogs responded to the offer saying that they’d like to work the farm. Clyde took a train to the new farm, met the tenants, and signed a contract with them before returning home.

When harvest time came around, Clyde waited for the check from the tenants, but after a week nothing came, so he sent one of his farm hands to check on the farm. A day later he returned bruised and beaten.

"What happened?" He asked Garlic Scape.

"Boss, I brought the message to those dogs, but they jeered at me and ganged up on me; there's easily twenty of them."

Clyde's wife came to him and said," Clyde, we need to save your uncle's farm. We have twenty strong farm hands that we could send to take back the farm; we could even send our son, they'd respect him."

"Granite," Clyde said to his wife, "do you value the farm more than you value the life of your son, or the farm workers who have loyally worked for me for years? These dogs have shown that they will do whatever it takes to keep the farm. Do you think that they will respect one stallion, our son, or will not put up a fight with our workers? No matter what, if we choose to fight them, we will be the ones who end up suffering the most loss. However, these dogs may not respect me or my family, but there is someone that they will respect."

Clyde then went to his closet and packed a knapsack with the essentials and grabbed some bits out of their rainy-day fund before heading out the door.

One day later, Clyde arrived at his Uncle Shepherd's farm and was met by the Diamond Dogs.

"Well, if it isn't Clyde Pie..."

"Whatcha doing here, Clyde?"

"Here to take back the farm?" The three dogs chorused

"As a matter of fact, yes. You dogs signed an agreement, and when I tried to mediate the situation, you hurt my best farm hand. This is your last chance—"

"Fat chance, Piehead"

"He was a pushover!"

"You can't take all of us on!"

"No...No I can't...but she can!" Clyde agreed, gesturing up with his head. When the dogs looked up, they saw an armored Princess Celestia diving rapidly towards them, her horn glowing with infernal magic.

"RUN!!!" The dogs howled as they scampered off down the long country road back to the train station.

"I hope that got the message across," Celestia said as she landed beside Clyde.

"I think so. Thank you, again, your highness, for taking time out of your day to help me. All that's left now is to find some new tenants...." Clyde mused,

Celestia smiled,"You are quite welcome, Clyde, and actually, I think I might know the right tenants for your farm."

Clyde met with the family of earth ponies who Celestia knew, and he immediately approved of them after seeing their character and commitment to each other. Under their plow, the farm reaped bountiful carats of precious metals and stones.

Moral: In a dog-eat-dog world, sometimes the solution is to get a bigger dog.

Author's Note

By TheLevelHeadedBrony.

Clyde and the Desert Spirit

Long ago, an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde was traveling through a desert with two other ponies he had met on the way.

Supplies were running short, and tempers likewise, and yet the end of their journey was nowhere in sight.

Suddenly, a figure arose from the sands and gave a sweeping bow.

“Greetings, fair ponies. I am a desert spirit, here to give aid to those traveling through my lands. Each of you will receive one wish. What shall it be?”

The first pony said, “I wish for more water!” And the spirit gave him a jug of water.

The second pony said, “I wish for more food!” And the spirit gave him a basket full of food.

Clyde, eminently sensible as always, thought for a moment and said, “I wish for all three of us to be at our destinations.” And the spirit teleported them to the endpoint of their journeys.

Clyde then arrived at his rock farm, where his family greeted him upon his safe return.

The moral of the story is: Consider long-term benefit before making a short-term decision.

Author's Note

By Goldfinch142.

Clyde and the Lake Beast

Once upon a time, there lived a young, eminently sensible colt by the name of Clyde. Young Clyde lived with his mother, an eminently sensible mare named Claudia. Claudia and Clyde lived next to a somewhat sensible pony named Carol, and her not-so sensible son named Chris. It was the day of the sprout market, and Clyde and his neighbor Chris were to go and pick up some sprouts for the first time.

"Now, Clyde. They say a beast lives in the lake on the way to the market. Apparently, the beast loves the smell of sprouts, and the taste of pony. So don't stand near the edge Clyde." Claudia warned. Carol warned her son as well.

Clyde nodded and said goodbye to his mother.

Clyde easily avoided the lake on his way to the market. When he was coming back, he met up with Chris.

"Hello Chris."

"Hello Clyde."

The two eventually came to the lake with sprouts in tow. Chris and Clyde gazed at the lake for a moment. Clyde was thinking of testing the myth, and going to the edge. Clyde quickly dismissed the thought, as he wanted to live another day.

"Is the lake beast myth true, Clyde?"

"I do not know. But it would be best not to test it out. I don't want to lose my life, or the alfalfa."

"I'm going to test it Clyde! I don't care what you, or my mother says. I am an independent pony, and I will make my own choices." Clyde only rolled his eyes, and continued on the path to his home.

Clyde safely returned to his mother. Chris was never seen again.

The moral of the story is: Mother knows best.

Author's Note

By SwiftStroke.

Clyde and the Miser, Take Two

One fine spring day, Clyde, the eminently sensible pony, happened upon a Diamond Dog next to an excavated hole. It was cradling a large dirty rock, and weeping.

Clyde said, “It seems to me that you are in need of some help.”

The Dog looked up from the rock, and snarled, “A stupid pony can’t help me.”

Clyde replied, “That may be true. But it is also said:

“When you’re in woe
Let others know
For oft a friend
Can troubles mend.”

“Diamond Dogs can’t be friends with stupid ponies,” muttered the dog. Clyde said nothing, but only stared evenly at the dog.

“Okay, fine!” snarled the dog. “I will tell you and you can laugh at how foolish I am. I buried my treasure here, all the treasure I have, and each night I would dig it up to look at it. But some dastardly thief must have seen me, for when I dug it up last night, my treasure was gone, and there was only this stupid old rock there with a note tied to it!”

The dog held up the note, and Clyde read, “You may as well dig up and look upon this stone every night as the treasure, for all the good it ever did you.”

The dog sighed. “And that’s it. Are you going to mock me now?”

Clyde inspected the rock with an expert’s eye. “I would not leave you further bereft than you are, my friend,” said Clyde, “but I believe that you will find you are not quite so foolish as you think yourself, if you will give the care of this rock over to me.”

“Why? What could you do with this worthless rock?”

“Well, it is said that some kinds of wealth are like dandelion seeds, that work best for you when scattered widely. But some kinds of wealth are like potatoes, that do best when left planted, for to pull the plant up to check on how the roots are doing undoes all the good progress. And a similar principle applies to this rock. If you will trust me, I will do what I can to help you.”

So the Diamond Dog gave up the dull old rock, and Clyde buried it carefully in a section of his farm not far from his special treasure rock, and tended it with his skill and knowledge, and within a season the rock was starting to bear beautiful gemstones. And thus Clyde was eventually able to restore the Dog’s fortune, and the Dog became Clyde’s friend in earnest, and invested its wealth wisely in diverse ways from then on.

The moral of the story is:
None can know all; but more the wise one sees
By heeding other’s honest expertise.

Author's Note

By GroaningGreyAgony.

Clyde and the Chicken

Once upon a time, an excitable chicken named Chicken Little was walking a on a path, on her way to her good friend Henny Penny's house for lunch. As she walked along, an acorn fell from a tree growing beside the path and hit her on the head. This scared Chicken Little so much that she trembled from head to toe, and half of her feathers fell out.

"Help! The sky is falling! The sky is falling! I have to tell Princess Celestia!"

So Chicken Little ran in a great fright to see the princess. Along the way, she ran into an earth pony named Clyde.

"Where are you going in such a hurry, Chicken Little?" Clyde asked.

"Oh, Clyde! Help! The sky is falling!"

"How do you know?"

"I saw it with my own eyes, and heard it with my own ears, and part of it fell on my head!" Chicken Little exclaimed.

Clyde, being the eminently sensible pony that he was, was skeptical.

"I'd like to see the piece of sky that hit you. Do you remember where you were when it fell?"

Thinking back to the incident, Chicken Little shuddered in fear.

"I never will forget," she said.

"Please, show me."

Chicken Little retraced her steps with Clyde following close behind.

"It was somewhere around here. I remember because I was admiring how beautifully Ducky Lucky's rose bush had bloomed this year when the sky began to fall."

Clyde looked around.

"Was the object that hit you small?"

Chicken Little nodded, "About the size of a small rock."

Clyde walked over to the acorn tree and picked up one of the acorns that had fallen on the path with his teeth.

"Could this be what hit you?"

Chicken Little was stunned. At first, she started to object, but the more she thought about it, the more sense it made.

"I...suppose so," she said embarrassed, "I'm sorry for alarming you."

Clyde smiled, "No need to apologize. Come, help me gather up some of these acorns."

Chicken Little happily obliged, and helped Clyde carry them to his home. Once there, Clyde's daughter Pinkie took the acorns and showed Chicken Little how to bake acorn maple shortbread cookies. They were delicious.

The moral of the story is: A fool soon makes up his mind, but a wise man waits and considers.

Author's Note

By Thomas Hunter.

The Children of Clyde

Once upon a time there was an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde, who had a beautiful wife and four children named Maud, Marble, Limestone, and Pinkie. Clyde loved his children and wife with all his heart, but his wife soon fell ill and died shortly after. Eventually, Clyde married a new mare, a unicorn sorceress.

Though Clyde's new wife loved the children at first, she soon became jealous of the time Clyde spent with them, and so she vowed to be rid of them. As the children swam in a lake, she cast a spell upon them to turn them into swans for nine hundred years. Though the unicorn sorceress told Clyde that the children had been killed by timberwolves, the swan that had been Maud told him the truth.

Clyde was furious, and thought about banishing the unicorn from his rock farm. But in his infinite sensibility, he thought of a new plan.

He said to the unicorn, "Return my children to me, for I have always loved you more than them, and it will not matter either way."

The unicorn was overjoyed, and undid her spell. As the four children returned to Clyde, he spoke again. "Now that I have my children back, you can leave before I call the guards."

The unicorn was shocked, but she realised that Clyde was far too sensible to fall for her tricks, and so she left the rock farm in disgrace.

The moral of the story is: An action made in anger is not always the best thing to do.

Author's Note

By JumpingShinyFrogs.

Clyde and the Fox

Once upon a time, there was an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde working in the fields of his family's rock farm. He had been working since before dawn turning the rocks, so when noon rolled around he decided to take a break for lunch. He sought desperately for some shade in which to enjoy the lunch his daughter had packed him on this blisteringly hot day. After searching for a few minutes, he was relieved to find an overhang providing shade on top of a large boulder in the northernmost part of the fields. Although the climb would have been near impossible for anypony else, Clyde was a member of the Pie family, and as such scaled the over-sized rock with relative ease. After he situated himself under the cool of the shade, Clyde retrieved a cheese sandwich from his bag and began to eat.

Just as Clyde took a particularly large and gooey bite of cheese, a clever fox spotted him from the road. She saw the deliciously gooey cheese sandwich that the young earth pony was enjoying and her stomach rumbled in response. Knowing that she could not climb up to the pony and steal the sandwich from him, the fox quickly devised a plan to get the earth pony to drop the cheese sandwich out of his mouth and down into her own gaping jaws.

Thus, the fox trotted over to the bottom of the rocks and looked up at Clyde.

Feigning shock and awe, the fox looked up at Clyde and said, "My! What a handsome pony! His build is so strong, and yet incredibly sleek. His coat is glistening and his mane gracefully flows down his neck. Truely, I have never seen a more beautiful creature in all of Equestria!"

The fox then allowed the smile on her face to fall, "It is unfortunate that such a magnificent, handsome creature cannot sing."

The fox looked up at Clyde, expecting him to burst into song. However, the sensible earth pony sat quietly, finished his sandwich, picked up his lunch bag, and began to climb down to the ground. After he reached the ground, the earth pony walked past the fox and, without breaking his stride, dropped the lunch bag next to the fox as he passed.

"Thank you for the kind words," Clyde said as he strolled on, "but if you want to hear singing, you'll need to talk to my daughter."

The stunned fox simply watched the earth pony until he disappeared. Never before had her foxy wiles failed her. After she recovered from her shock, the fox turned her attention to the bag the pony had left beside her. As she opened the bag, she was moved by what she saw.

Inside was another gooey cheese sandwich.

Moral of the story: Do not be fooled by false flattery. However, do not let others' words stand in the way of showing compassion on those who need it.

Author's Note

By Thomas Hunter.

Clyde and the Beanstalk

Clyde and the Beanstalk

Once upon a time, an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde and his family were starving. His mother told him to take a Moochick to market and sell it, so that they would have money for enough food to eat for the evening's meal.

On his way, Clyde met a pair of unicorn hucksters. "Hey there," the pair said. "We'll trade you this magic bean for your fine exotic beast there."

"Magic bean. Right," he said and walked on.

"Wait!" they cried desperately, catching up with him. "It actually DOES work. Look, you don't even have to pay us until you verify it really does grow two miles high."

"Why're you selling it then, if it really works?"

"It's just a beanstalk. The truth is, we don't have the bravery or skill a fine lad like yourself would need to climb it, face the cloud giant and steal his unimaginable riches. So we're looking for a quick buck, and you take all the risks."

Clyde thought. "Okay, you've got a deal."

He walked home, planted the beanstalk, and immediately cut it down.

That night, and for weeks thereafter, they feasted on giant bean casserole with giant bean curd sauce. He hacked the stalk apart and sold beanstalk pith for firewood. Within a month, he'd earned enough bits to purchase a rock farm and retire to it in quiet comfort.

Author's Note

By Horizon.

Clyde and the Unicorn

Clyde and the Unicorn

Once upon a time, there lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde, who knew a frivolous unicorn. The unicorn earned much more money than Clyde did, due to his ability to enthrall and delight the townsfolk with his magic. However, the unicorn spent all that he earned almost as soon as the bits entered his coin-purse. Clyde noticed the unicorn drinking extravagantly one autumn evening, and gave him some advice.

"Sir unicorn," Clyde said. "You should save some of your bits for winter, when there will be few, if any, townsfolk wandering the streets to give you bits for your services."

"You're right," he said. "I'll start saving. Tomorrow. Or next week. Later. Another round, barkeep!"

Winter came around, and the unicorn had wised up too late. His savings ran out swiftly, and he knocked on Clyde's door for help, cold and shivering. Clyde opened the door, and the unicorn spoke. "Please help me, Sir Clyde. I should have listened to you in the first place, but I am but a poor fool who lacks discipline."

Clyde spoke. "Sir unicorn, I will feed you this winter. In return, you shall give me a portion of your bits next year, and I shall use those bits to keep you throughout the winter next year as well."

The unicorn gratefully accepted, and from then on, he was warm and well fed during the winter, and Clyde used the extra money to improve his farm.

The moral of the story is: Sometimes friends need more than just good advice.

Author's Note

By Salivanth.

Clyde and the Xorn

Clyde and the Xorn

Once upon a time, there lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. Clyde was a sensible pony, but he had an extremely silly daughter named Pinkie. Knowing Pinkie’s frivolity, Clyde had instructed her to watch the fields, rather than assign her with a more important task.

One day, Pinkie came running up to him, frantic. "Father! There's a xorn in the south field eating all our rocks!"

Clyde galloped off to confront the xorn, only to find nopony there and his fields unravaged. His daughter began to laugh, rolling around on the ground in hysterics. "You fell for it!" she giggled.

Clyde approached his daughter with a stern look on his face, ready to punish her, when he saw a confused look on her face. "Why aren't you laughing, father?" she said.

"Pinkie," Clyde said, "allow me to tell you a story of the colt who cried timberwolf..."

Pinkie never tried to trick Clyde like that again, though she did put a whoopee cushion under his chair the next day.

The moral of the story is: Sometimes it is better to teach children than to punish them.

Author's Note

By Salivanth.

Clyde and the Tortoise

Clyde and the Tortoise

Once upon a time, there lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. Clyde loved to run, and would frequently run through the forests and hills that surrounded his home. One day, while Clyde was bathing in the river, a tortoise approached him. The tortoise had met many ponies before, and had found them arrogant and prideful.

“Sir pony!” the tortoise spoke. “I have seen you running through these parts! You must be quite proud of your prodigious stamina and speed! But there is one creature in this forest even swifter than yourself, and that is I, the tortoise!”

Clyde raised an eyebrow.

“You don’t believe me! I do declare, sir, that I raced the hare himself into the ground! But he was not truly a challenge; it would be an honor to test my speed against such a worthy opponent as yourself!” the turtle said. “I challenge you to a race! We shall race the five miles to yonder hill!”

Clyde thought about it for a moment, and accepted his wager. The tortoise grinned, secure in his knowledge that the pony would falter when attempting to run for so long across such rough terrain. The race began, and Clyde jogged off, quickly leaving the tortoise in the distance.

When the tortoise finally reached the finish line, he found Clyde waiting for him. "But how? How did you manage to keep running for such a long time?"

Clyde looked at the turtle and raised an eyebrow. "I walked," he said.

The moral of the story is: While slow and steady is good, a moderate but respectable pace is even better.

Author's Note

By Salivanth.

Clyde and the Weird Unicorn

Clyde and the Weird Unicorn

Once upon a time, there was an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. He lived on a rock farm with his two eminently sensible daughters and slightly less sensible wife. His wife was pregnant and desperately wanted some alfalfa to eat. Clyde, being the sensible pony he was, knew better than to argue with a pregnant mare, so he set about trying to find some alfalfa for her.

Now, Clyde lived on a rock farm, and as such there wasn't much alfalfa to be found anywhere. The only pony that he knew to have alfalfa was a unicorn that lived on the outskirts of town. So Clyde grabbed a bag of bits and left to make his way to the unicorn's house, hoping he could buy some of the alfalfa.

When he got to the unicorn's house, he knocked on the front door, but nobody answered. Here, Clyde was in a dilemma. Ordinarily, Clyde wasn't the sort to steal, but he wasn't about to leave without the alfalfa. So Clyde climbed over the wall in the back of the house and into the garden. Just as he was picking some of the alfalfa, he heard a voice behind him.

"How dare you climb into the Magnificent Presto's garden and steal his crops?" The unicorn said in a somewhat nasally voice.

"Sorry about that. It's for my wife, you see. She's pregnant." Clyde replied evenly. "I'd be more than happy to pay for it."

"Pregnant, eh?" the unicorn said, a shifty look coming into his eyes. "Well, how about this. You can have the alfalfa, but in return the Magnificent Presto gets your wife's child."

"How about I just give you twenty bits?" Clyde responded. The unicorn considered this for a bit, then shrugged, agreeing.

Clyde gave him the money and quickly left, making a note to himself to never speak with that unicorn again. He went home to his wife and gave her the alfalfa, and eight and a half months later Pinkamena Diane Pie was born.

As for the weird unicorn, he was later arrested on charges of pedophilia.

Moral: Don't be a creeper.

Author's Note

By DJ TR33.

Clyde and the Three Billy Goats

Clyde and the Three Billy Goats

One lean year on the rock farm left an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde as a bridge tollpony to make a few extra bits for his family. One particular day, a tiny goat came walking up to the bridge.

“Howdy there,” said Clyde. “That’ll be one bit.”

“Oh please let me pass, sir,” the little goat chirped. “I haven’t got two bits to rub together. My brother’s coming along soon – he’ll pay you double, I promise!”

The little goat gave Clyde puppy eyes. Clyde snuck a glance at the tyke’s bit bag and indeed found it empty. He looked the goat in the eye and found him an honest goat.

“Fine, off you go, then,” Clyde waved the goat on.

“Thank you, sir!”

A little later, a goat Clyde’s size came trotting up to the bridge.

“Howdy there,” Clyde said. “That’ll be one bit.”

“Oh, do let me pass, sir,” the goat insisted. “I’ve got a lot to buy. My big brother is coming along soon. He’ll pay you quintuple, I swear!”

“That reminds me: your little brother said you’d pay double for him,” Clyde said. “That’ll be three bits.”

The goat stared down at Clyde, but the pony didn’t back down. “Fine – take your stupid bits!”

“Have a nice day,” Clyde smiled.

Later, a massive goat trotted up to the bridge. He was at least the size of Princess Celestia, and he wore a deep scowl on his face.

“Howdy friend, nice weather we’re having,” Clyde said.

“Whatever,” the goat grumbled as he stomped across the bridge.

Moral of the story: Don’t be the middleman.

Author's Note

By SirTruffles.

Clyde and the Wizard

Once upon a time a very sensible earth pony named Clyde had just sat down for dinner when there was a knock on his door. Outside was a wizard with a long white beard.

"Hello Starswirl, it's been several years since your last visit. What can I do for you?" Clyde asked politely.

"Clyde, the time has come! Sombra's agents again stalk the land! You must take that ring I left with you those many years ago, and make a perilous journey across the length and breath of Equestria to throw it into the fires of a volcano. For only in that furious caldron can the magics of the ring be destroyed, and Sombra's power undone."

"Or," said Clyde, "you could ask one of those Pegasi that you are on speaking terms with to simply fly it there and drop it in."

"Well," said Starswirl after a moments thought, "I suppose that would save time, and a dangerous trek through forests and mountains, which could potentially cost the lives of any of the companions that may have accompanied you."

Clyde passes over a small pouch containing the dangerous magical ring back to Starswirl, who quickly departs.

The following day Rainbow Dash flew the pouch to the top of a fiery volcano, tossed it in, and returned in time for lunch. And no more was heard of the evil king Sombra ever again.

The moral of the story: Consider all of your options BEFORE choosing a course of action.

Author's Note

By Quixotic Enigma.

Clyde and the Stepsisters

Once upon a time, there was an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. This was a Clyde which our beloved Clyde descended from long ago. This Clyde was also miserable as he was oppressed by his three evil stepsisters.

One day, Clyde overheard the stepsisters discussing a royal ball with both princesses and numerous nobles attending. He realized that this was his chance to escape the tyranny of the stepsisters.

When he went to ask though, he was quickly denied of his request and given a multitude of chores to preform. Clyde knew he would have no time to attend the ball after his assignments though.

Later that night, after his stepsisters left, Clyde began a plan to sneak away to the ball and meet his Princess. But as he exited the apartment, a bright flash of light temporarily blinded him. Once his vision cleared, Clyde found himself standing before a regal looking alicorn with a vibrant white mane and a flowing red mane. He bowed down and the alicorn quickly motioned for him to stand.

The alicorn began to speak. "I feel a great sadness and a wish to escape this madness. I have come from afar, my name is Shooting Star."

"This is all true, your majesty."

"A wish of yours can be granted if spoken, be wise for after one the spell will be broken." Clyde thought long and hard, after all, any wish he made would be granted.

"I wish for coin enough to last me a lifetime."

Shooting Star smiled gently. "As you wish." Her horn lit up for a brief second before she disappeared into the night. Smiling, Clyde reentered the small apartment and he almost fainted from shock. Over half of the house was filled with shiny gold coins and bright jewels that could put the royal treasury to shame.

Clyde invested most of the money and used the rest to buy a luxurious estate and three maids: the stepsisters.

The moral of the story is: Don't give up what you really want for what you want right now.

Author's Note

By Caffeinated Pinkie.

Clyde and the Rock Division

Once upon a time, an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde wanted to establish a rock farm, but lacked the lands and the funds to do so.

One day, he found a rich pony named Smart Cookie, who was looking for a pony like him.

"We can do business together," Smart Cookie said. "I have a good, solid plot; perfect for a rock farm. I can lend it to you for a season, and give you the funds you need, as long as you give me half of the rocks you harvest."

"Very well," Clyde said. "Which half of the rocks will you want? Divided by weight, size, sedimentary and meta-"

"To be frank with you, I don't know anything about rocks. That's why I am looking for a sensible pony to farm my lands. Just give me the rocks above the ground, and you can keep the rocks under it. That way, I can know with just a glance how my part of the rocks are going."

"Good enough for me," Clyde said. And they wrote and signed two copies of the contract as sensible ponies often did.

Clyde worked, toiled and moiled, and when the time of the harvest came, he had ensured that the rocks above the ground and the rocks under the ground were worth about the same, so everypony was happy with the division.

Because of that, Smart Cookie kept leasing his lands and his funds to Clyde, and they became steadfast friends.

Moral: Cheating might lead to quick riches, but fair dealings lead to repeat customers. And if you can afford to trust someone, it can very well be worth your while.

Author's Note

By Farsan.

Clyde and the Gingerbread Horse

Once not too long ago there was an eminently sensible pony named Clyde. He had a daughter pink as a peony and as flighty and whimsical as her father was sensible. Naturally he tried to steer her whimsy where such imagination and creativity might be useful…baking, for example. And many a dessert had proved the decision a good one.

But not every dessert…

One day Clyde was coming home from making the quartz grow tall and straight when he heard the crash of a window breaking and saw a tiny brown pony speed off his property like the wind was in his hooves.

“Run, Gallop, Trot
It’s useless of course,
You can’t catch me,
I’m the Gingerbread Horse.” The tiny pony cackled as it ran.

Clyde watched the little creature speed off his property…and promptly ignored it to go find his daughter.

His daughter sat in the kitchen holding an empty baking pan, her face forlorn and confused. “Oh Papa, I don’t know what happened!” she cried, “One minute I had made a dessert the whole family was sure to love…and the next it was GONE and the window was broken!”

Clyde sat down next to his daughter and held her close, “Don’t worry none about that stupid cookie…it’s covered in dirt and mud by now anyway. The real question is…can you make it again?”

It turned out, yes, yes she could. And while this second cookie didn’t come to life, it did taste good. Gingerbread became Clyde’s favorite dessert ever after.

The moral of the story is: A miracle repeated is a welcome luxury.

Author's Note

By Kandagger.

Little Red Clyde-ing Hood

Once upon a time, the eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde came into his kitchen just in time to get a faceful of frosting.

“Daddy, I baked some cupcakes! They’re sugary and colorful, and sugary…” Pinkie, covered in batter, jumped around the kitchen. “I made them for Grandma Surprise!”

Clyde stared blankly at his daughter as he wiped the frosting off his face. He picked up the basket of cupcakes. “Let’s take them over there.” He then very slowly and deliberately walked out the door, Pinkie bouncing by his side. He grabbed his red cloak, as it was quite chilly.
On the way to his mother-in-law’s home, Clyde smelled a timberwolf nearby.

The timberwolf came out and thought that surely these ponies were not eminently sensible. “Where are you going?” he asked in the friendliest tone of voice he had.

Clyde opened his mouth to speak, but Pinkie spoke first. “We’re going to Grandma Surprise’s house, near the river bend!”

“Hush, don’t talk to strangers,” Clyde scolded briefly and looked up. “I daresay it’s none of your business. Please go away, sir.”

The timberwolf slunk away into the surrounding brush. He ran over to the house of this “Surprise” and stuffed her in a closet, tying her up. He proceeded to put on her apron and cap, awaiting the arrival of the ponies.

When Clyde and Pinkie arrived, they found the timberwolf sitting in a chair. “Oh, what a pleasant surprise! Are those cupcakes? Do put them on the kitchen counter, please.”

Clyde whispered to Pinkie, “Take the cupcakes to the kitchen and stay there. Be very quiet. I’ll get you in a few minutes.”

She nodded and trotted off.

“Your voice sounds odd. Have you a cold?” asked Clyde as he began inching his way across the room to the empty fireplace.

“Why yes, I do.”

“What big teeth you have,” remarked Clyde, grabbing the fire poker and slowly advancing towards the back of the timberwolf’s chair.

“All the better to—”

Clyde leapt forward and attacked the timberwolf, who went down quickly. He hacked the wolf to pieces as he roared and flailed around.
“Your breath stinks,” said Clyde as the fire poker took its toll and the timberwolf fell apart.

He heard muffled cries from the closet. Clyde opened the door to find Surprise tied up and struggling. He quickly freed her. They both looked at the timberwolf’s remains.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

“Pinkie, you can come out now,” said Clyde.

Pinkie came out to see a fire blazing and asked, “Where did the fire come from? There wasn’t one when we came in.”

The moral of the story is: One should be wary of people they don’t know.

Author's Note

By GhostPikachu.

Clyde and the Cat

Once upon a time, there lived an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. Clyde was the youngest of three brothers, and when their father died, the eldest was given his house, the middle his rock farm and Clyde only his cat.

Clyde, being so eminently sensible, did not dwell on this apparent injustice and went to find work. However, the cat stopped him and said “Do not worry about such things, my good master. If you will but buy me a pair of boots, I will show you how to make more of a fortune than you can imagine.”

Clyde merely shook his head. “That is a generous offer,” he said, “but I would not wish for such excess.” He regarded the cat critically. “However, if I were to sell you to a more ambitious pony, your evident intellect would be of far more use, and the money gained from selling a talking cat would be enough for me to make a living. I will not sell you against your will, of course, but I think this would be better for both of us.”

The cat thought about this proposition, then nodded. “That seems equitable enough. You are to be commended for your self-awareness, if not your ambition.”

Clyde merely shrugged.

He sold the cat to a passing traveller, and used the money gained from the sale to purchase his own rock farm. The farm did modest business, until one day, a contract came from a pony known as the Marquis of Carabas to exclusively supply his region with rocks and gemstones. This contract enabled Clyde to live in comfort for the rest of his days.

The moral of the story is: An ounce of good will can be worth more than a pound of gold.

Author's Note

By The Iguana Man.

Clyde and the Golden Goose

Once upon a time, there was an eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde. He lived in a small house with two elder brothers and rather insensitive parents. In preparation for winter one year, the parents asked one of the brothers to chop wood for the fire. Being the sensible pony he was, Clyde volunteered, as he recognised his brothers’ clumsiness. However, his parents refused him and instead sent the eldest brother, giving him wine and cheese for the journey.

Clyde, who realised that alcohol was not a sensible choice of drink when using sharp tools, offered to fill his brother’s flask. His parents begrudgingly allowed this, and so he went to do so. He filled it with water instead, but was careful to squeeze some ripe grapes into the flask so that the brother was adequately fooled. Then, he also took a few slices of fresh bread from the cupboard, as he knew his parents would not feed him that day.

As the brother went to chop the wood, Clyde followed him at a safe distance. He approached the forest where his brother worked, and as he did so, a small pony with a crippled leg strapped against a stick to support it, came close to him.

“Can you feed me, I’m weak, kind stranger?
Your brother refused, and for him is danger,
but please I beg from you, feed me now
and gold upon you I will endow.”

Clyde, after generously giving the pony two slices of his loaf, rather sensibly answered, “I have no need for gold, as I already have plans for starting a rock farm. Instead, I would ask you do not injure my brother, as he is clumsy enough as it is.”

The old stallion grumbled, but begrudgingly agreed. He stalked off after retrieving a golden goose from under some bushes. Clyde continued along his way, glad that he had saved his eldest brother.

However, when he returned home and explained his absence, his parents were furious. They were horrified that he had turned down an offer for gold and riches, as there was a terrible famine grasping Equestria at this time.

“Generosity from a stranger should be taken with a grain of salt,” Clyde explained, “and I have already planned for my future, with no need for random gifts to help me survive.”

His eldest brothers were also enraged that he had followed and tampered with the eldest’s food. Again, Clyde felt the need to explain himself.

“A well-implemented plan far exceeds a dubious miracle.”

Author's Note

By DaeCat.