The True Actual Story of How Things Were Back Then

by Ara

First published October 29th, 2013 19:50

A long time ago, things were different under the Princesses. While Celestia tried her hardest to keep things running during the day, Luna indulged in her love of fillies all night, and eventually the conflict would cause one sister to be exiled while the other had to carry on alone for a thousand years. Even after the Princess of the Night returned, her sister had to explain to her that times had changed, and her indulgences were unhealthy and unacceptable.

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The True Actual Story of How Things Were Back Then

The True Actual Story of How Things Were Back Then
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The True Actual Story of How Things Were Back Then

Did you know that Luna was a filly diddler?

I think back then it was normal.

The Princesses are Immortal, you know, so no ponies could really relate to them like, at all, so they would raise a filly or a colt up from birth, make them into the ponies they wanted for companionship. It was nice to have a pony that they could use to for sex for their stress, and keep their bed warm, and cuddle at night but that wouldn’t be like whiny or like stressful or anything. But honestly, other than like, one or two slaves or whatever Celestia was too busy running a fucking Kingdom to really bother much with fiddling.

Luna, on the other hoof, slept all day and then dicked around all night. She’d pace though the castle corridors, wondering aloud to herself, “Why is nobody awake geez I want to talk about bug collecting,” and then she’d go to some random pony’s hovel and shout at them "HEY WAKE UP AND TALK TO ME ABOUT BUG COLLECTING,” but they’d always be really mad at her and after a while she realized everybody was trying to fucking sleep.

So she molested children all night.

Secretly, and without really knowing what they were, she wanted nightclubs and trance music, but it was too bad for her. Maybe she should have invented them instead of seeing how young of a filly can fit a Princess hoof in their twat. Once she really gave in to her child lust, though, she spent basically every second swooping around at night kidnapping fillies so she could fiddle them till the sun came up.

I bet it basically went just like this:

The sun would go down and Luna would wake up and have some orange juice and brush her teeth and take a crap, then she would fly out her window after she raised up the moon and scoop up a big basket of fillies, then fly back to her room. She would shout for the guards and make the guards take off their helmets and close the doors and windows and then be like, "Fuck this child for my amusement!" or “Fondle this small animal nipple!” or “Touch my hoof while I molest this child!” and keep going on like that till it was time to make the moon go down, and she would just leave the fillies all whatever for somebody else to take home. She would take some breaks though for snacks and stuff, like if she had to crap again.

For a long time the guards just went along with it, because back so long ago the Princesses both did pederasty and didn't really think about it, and they were the bosses, but still it was gross and she sort of did weirder and weirder stuff, and the fillies mostly didn't really want to do it, and so the guards eventually told on her to Celestia to make sure all the things she was doing were really ok.

Even though back then Celestia sometimes had kinda young bedwarmers, Celestia was appalled by the quantity and quality of Luna’s filly fondling. She decided to take an informal straw poll so she had some guards go around and ask about the child stealing and filly fondling and was kinda surprised that everypony basically said they totally hated it and like, basically everypony was afraid to do anything at night because of Luna stealing children all the dang time.

Celestia went to Luna’s room and took the filly hoof out of her mouth and was like "Seriously doubleyou tee eff I mean I have my lesbian playtoys but I also like, run the fucking country.” She stomped her hoof on the ground and she kept berating her sister. It was about time the Princess of the Night got a reality check! "Fucking Luna you lazy twat nobody likes you, ugh, greater than colon capital letter cee!"

But Luna was like "Nuh uh everybody loves me!"

And Celestia was like "Fuk you Luna nobody gives a crap! They all think you're gross because you keep raping kids and stealing kids all the time go look in their dreams!"

And Luna did go and look in their dreams, and she was so shocked she was like "Holy fuck these people don't like me stealing kids and kids don't like getting raped all the time! Who knew? Oh well I will rule them thru fear and also be awake durin' the day!” But she didn’t really want to be awake during the day, so she changed her plan and whispered an addendum of “or rather make the day the nite so I can be awake although when the fuck am I going to sleep oh well doubleyou backslash ee."

But Celestia was like "Haha! No really pull the other one do you know who I am?"

But Luna was like "We can't use the elements tho bee slash cee I am evil now!"

But Celestia was like "Psssh, like I even need that to kick my baby sister's ass!"

And then Celestia kicked Luna in the uterus and sent her to the moon.

In like, a decade or so Celestia realized that they kids they'd been grooming turned into kind of fucked up adults, and Celestia remembered the informal straw poll too about how nopony really liked the child rape stuff so she was like "Ok the child rape thing me and my sister used to do is over you guys!"

And everybody in Equestria cheered and the ponies invented nightclubs and trance music a little later after that because now Luna wasn't around raping children all night so they weren’t afraid of going out at night.

When Luna camed back Celestia gave her a good raping herself first thing and was like "That's what we'd been doing to those kids. It really sucks."

And Luna was like "Actually, that was kinda hot but like, I can see kids not being into it."

But Celesatia knew she’d still learned her lesson, so then Celestia gave her her powers back and Luna kissed her on the mouth and from then on they only had adult courtesans although Luna's sometimes looked rather slim in the flank and long of limb if you take my meaning ;2

Author's Note

This story is basically exactly how it happened.