The worst day of my life...yet
It was a gloomy Monday morning in Ponyville. I didn't get much sleep the night before because I had to study for a important test in Biology next week. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom had picked me up at home so we could go to school together.
"Hurry up, Sweetie Belle! We're gonna be late for school again!" said Scootaloo.
"I'm walking as fast as I can, Scoots!"
"Well, walk faster! Today we're gonna get our Math test back! I've got a pretty good feeling about it!"
"Yeah, I'm sure it's gonna be...great."
I don't feel good about that test, but I can't get another bad grade again. The last time I got a bad grade, Rarity shouted and was angry at me for the whole day. She didn't even care that I studied so hard. But I guess I should have studied harder...
"We're here! Let's go and get our tests back!" shouted the obviously excited Scootaloo.
"Yeah...I can't wait to get it back..."
"What's wrong, Sweetie Belle?" asked my friend Apple Bloom. "You studied for the test, right?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then everything is gonna be okay!"
"If you say so..."
"Good morning, my little ponies! I hope you had a wonderful weekend!" said Cherilee, still looking a bit tired.
"I corrected your tests over the weekend. You did a great job, at least most of you."
Oh no. This can't be good.
"Diamond Tiara, you've got a B. Great work!"
Did she even study? She's not good with Math, and she's not much of a studying pony either. So that means, that this test really was easy, right?
"Apple Bloom, you've got a C. Not too bad, but you can do better."
Apple Bloom got a C? But she studied the whole week! This does not look good. What if-
"Sweetie Belle!"
Oh no!
Cherilee looked at me disappointed. I knew what was going to happen, it wasn't the first time she looked at me like that.
"I'm sorry, but this test was a total desaster. You really need to study more next time!"
I got 14 points from 60. I...failed...I can't believe it...
I felt tears coming up, but I held them in. No, I'm not going to cry. I'm a big pony...
"A-are you okay, Sweetie Belle?" asked my friend Apple Bloom. "It's just a test. You'll do better next time!"
"I'm alright. I'll just have to study harder next time, I guess..."
Rarity is going to be so angry at me. I can't believe that I failed this test. I studied so hard, but I still failed...I'm such a failure...
After the last lesson of school, I decided to go home without Scootaloo and Apple Bloom, because I needed some time alone before I had to tell Rarity the bad news.
Rarity can't be that mad at me, right? It's just a test, and I'll study harder next time. I'm sure she'll understand.
But what if she doesn't? What if she flips out again and shouts at me? What if she will be angry at me for the whole week?
I felt tears coming up again, but I held them in. No, I'm not going to cry. I need to be strong now!
I slowly opened the front door of my home, and I heard the calm voice of my sister Rarity.
"Hello Sweetie Belle, how was school today?"
"Well, it was mostly good...except one thing."
"And that is?"
My whole body was shaking, and my voice was trembling, but I had to tell her the bad news.
"I got a F on my Math test. But I-"
"You got what?!"
"Well...I-"
"I can't believe you failed another test! Why can't you get just one thing right? I'm ashamed of you, go to your room, now!"
"But-"
"NOW!"
I quickly turned around and ran into my room, and locked the door, before I burst out in tears.
I'm such a failure...I can't get nothing right...
Some minutes later, I heard a knock on my door.
"Sweetie Belle? Open the door, I need to talk to you."
Oh no, what does she want from me now?
I opened the door, to see my sister Rarity, with a look of disappointment on her face.
"The test was a disaster, but I know you can do better. I want you to study the whole day, okay? Do you have any other tests in the next few weeks?"
"Well, I have a test in Biology next week."
"You're going to study every day for this test! I don't want another bad grade again, do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Good. I'm going to leave you alone now, so you can study."
Rarity walked out of my room, and I locked the door again. I needed to be alone.
I'm such a failure...
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo wanted to visit me later that day, but Rarity just sent them away.
"I'm sorry, but Sweetie Belle needs to study now."
"Is she alright? She seemed pretty upset about the test," said Scootaloo.
"Yes, she is alright. She just needs some time to be alone and study. She might have some time for you tomorrow. Goodbye!" said Rarity, before shutting the door in front of the two fillies.
I didn't get much sleep that night, mostly because I was crying the whole time.
Rarity hates me. All I do is mess up...I'll never be good enough...this is the worst day of my life!
One week later...
"Good morning, students! I hope you all have studied well, because we're gonna write the test now!" said Cherilee while she was handing out the tests.
Alright, Sweetie Belle! You can do this! You've studied so hard, but all that hard work is finally going to pay off!
But...what if I fail again? Rarity was so upset after I failed the last test. If I fail this test too, I ... NO! I can do this! I've studied and I will pass for sure. There is no way that I will fail...I hope...
My whole body was shaking when Cherilee handed me the test. What is this? Why can't I remember the answers? I studied so hard, and now this? What is wrong with me? Why can't I concentrate?
After fifteen minutes, we had to hand in the tests. I tried to concentrate, but I could only answer two questions out of ten.
Why can't I do just one thing right? I studied over a week for this test, and I still failed. I'm such a failure...
"Hey Sweetie Belle, are you okay?" asked my friend Scootaloo.
"Yeah, I'm alright. I'm just sad that I failed this test too."
"You failed again? Why did you fail?"
"I don't know, but I-"
"You know, you should probably have studied harder. This test was super easy."
Without saying a word, I got up from my chair and ran out of the classroom.
Even Scootaloo thinks I'm a failure...
I felt horrible, my stomach hurted and I felt dizzy.
Maybe I should get home, I am not feeling well. I hope that Miss Cherilee allows me to go home.
"Sweetie Belle, are you alright?" said Cherilee to me. She must have sneaked up behind me, because I didn't hear her walking towards me.
"No, I don't feel good. I feel dizzy and my stomach hurts. Can I please go home?"
"I'm sorry to hear that, of course you can go home. I hope you'll get well soon!"
"Alright, thanks Miss Cherilee!"
I hope Rarity doesn't ask about the test. I can't tell her that I failed again...
When I arrived at home, I quietly opened the front door to see my sister Rarity sitting in the living room. She was obviously confused.
"Sweetie Belle, what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in school?"
"I wasn't feeling so well, so I asked Miss Cherilee if I could go home."
"Do you really feel ill or did you just wanted to skip the test?"
"I really feel ill and I already took the test, don't worry."
"And? How did it go?"
Oh no! What should I tell her? I can't tell her that I failed, she would flip out again.
"Well, it could be better, to be honest."
"It could be better? You studied the whole week, didn't you?"
"Yes, but-"
"I'm really disappointed of you. You better hope that you won't fail."
"I-I'm not sure, I hope it'll be alright..."
"You're not even sure if you will pass?"
Rarity had a look of disappointment and anger on her face, which made me shiver in fear and sadness. I couldn't bring out any answer to her question, but instead I only let out a silent sob.
"Stop crying, you are not a little filly anymore! Now go to your room and study! You're grounded for two weeks!"
I didn't say anything and just ran into my room, and locked the door.
Why is Rarity so mean to me? Why do I mess up all the time? Can't I do just one thing right?
I spent the rest of the day wtih crying and sobbing in my room, thinking what to do about the sadness.
What do other ponies do, when they're sad? I've heard that some ponies go to a therapist about it, but Rarity would probably just say that I'm overreacting again. But...it could be worth a try...I'll just ask her if she can take me to a doctor. She can't refuse to take me to a doctor when I'm not feeling well, right?
I got up from my bed and slowly walked out of my room. Rarity was reading a book, when she saw me walking towards her.
"Sweetie Belle, why aren't you studying? Is there something wrong?"
"I don't feel so well. Can you please take me to a doctor?"
"What's wrong? Does your stomach still hurt?"
"Yes, but I want to go to the doctor because I have another problem."
"And that is?"
"Well...I'm very sad...can you please take me to the doctor?"
Tears were coming up again, but Rarity just shook her head.
"Don't be silly, Sweetie Belle! You're perfectly fine! Now go to your room and study some more!"
I didn't want to argue with her again, so I just turned around and walked to my room again and locked the door.
Rarity will never understand me...nopony can understand me...I'm just a failure...and failures need to be punished!
Without hesitating, I grabbed a pair of scissors from the table with my horn and held it in front of my left foreleg.
I need...to be...punished!
Before I could even realise what was going on, the blade already left a scratch on my foreleg.
What have I done? And why did it feel good? It ain't normal for a pony to enjoy something like that, right?
I closed my eyes as I brought the scissors to my foreleg again. I pressed the blade a little harder this time and slowly led the blade cut through the skin. I let out a sigh of relief and put the scissors back on the table.
Okay, I had enough. But...it did feel good, I don't know why. I hope that Rarity won't notice these scars though...
Now, let's get some studying done!
I took out a book from my saddlebag, when I heard a knock on the door.
"Sweetie Belle, I'm going to buy some groceries, I'll be back in half an hour. Do you need anything?"
"No, I don't need anything. Goodbye!"
"Goodbye, Sweetie Belle!"
A few seconds later, I heard the front door getting shut.
I'm all alone now...maybe I could...no! This isn't good for me! But...why does it feel so good?
I just need a little cut...
