the Isane and Inane Adventures of Volatile Brew

by LakieLegion

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 842

meet Volatile Brew, the new stallion in Ponyville, in his series of completely Insane and Inane Adventures with his friends, new and old

meet Volatile Brew, he's just moved to Ponyville and he can already tell that his life has taken a turn from 'snobs scoffing at him and his explosive concoctions' to 'completely Insane and Inane Misadventures'

and this pony with a cutie mark in explosive potions approves

——–

just a story full of randumb adventures with my OC, with many references to classics such as Pinky and the Brain, Dexter's Laboratory and Ed, Edd and Eddy… because seriously… those cartoons are classics and hilarious, so cross your fingers/hooves/extremities and hope to God/Celestia/Cthulhu for jokes about buttons, buttered toast and NARF!

because in Ponyville… no one can hear you scream… for some strange and completely unrelated reason

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-30 03:20:48 UTC

moving into Ponyville

it was a normal day in Ponyville, the birds sung, the ponies went about their daily lives, Pinkie Pie was being Pinkie Pie and the CMC did their usual things

"ARGH! GET THAT SONG THE FLYING FUDGE OUTTA MY HEAD!"

well... mostly a normal day in Ponyville

meet Volatile Brew, a royal purple unicorn stallion with a mess of a black mane and tail highlighted in crimson, and a small pointy black beard on his muzzle

his cutie mark depicted a potion violently bubbling over, a skull and crossbones shown inside the unstable concoction in the mark, it signified his expertise in the field of chemicals, especially the explosive ones

he was currently pulling a cart full of vials and jars of varying shades and colours, wondering what kind of mailmare would be untrustworthy to carry a cartful of extremely volatile chemicals and concoctions through the sleepy town, every mail carrier in Canterlot knew how to carry explosive compounds without making them explode on themselves, did this mailmare miss that class?

Volatile had recently purchased a house in simple and quiet Ponyville, as no places in Canterlot allowed him to rent or buy property, in fear that his dabbling in chemistry would blow half the city straight to Avalon itself

Volatile scoffed at such Neigh-Sayers! the only explosions he caused were contained and not violent enough to blow half the city to Avalon

a third was more like it

Volatile was broken out of his reverie by an insanely sweet and bubbly voice speaking at the speed of light

"OHMYGOSH! YOUMUSTBENEWTOPONYVILLE! HIMYNAMESPINKIEPIEDOYOULIKEPARTIESILIKEPARTIESDOYOUWANTTOMOVEITMOVEITIWANNABETHEVERYBESTTHATNOONEEVERWASTOCATCHTHEMISMYREALTESTTOTRAINTHEMISMYCAUSEMYWHOLELIFEHASLEADTOTHISTIMETOTESTMYSKILLSIKNOWIJUSTCAN'TMISSGONNASHOWTHEWORLD!" Volatile could not understand the babbling mare, and showed his confusion on his face, and he summed it up with a single word

"wut"

"Oopsie! you couldn't understand me! my bad!" said the pink monstrosity that verbally attacked Volatile

"I'm Pinkie Pie! and you must be new to Ponyville because I've never seen you before, and I know everypony in Ponyville, and I mean everypony! so that means I haven't rolled out the welcome wagon for you or threw you a 'welcome to Ponyville' party yet!" Pinkie babbled, pulling a wagon with an oven on it and cannons pointing up from it

Volatile paled as he realized that if this thing fired anything near his cart it would take most of Ponyville with it in a giant ball of fiery death, preventing him from living here either if he possibly survived the epic explosion going off right behind him

"NO! DONT FIRE THAT THING AT ALL UNLESS YOU WANT THE WHOLE TOWN TO GO WITH IT!" Volatile practically screamed as the pink mare went to activate the wagon

"awh! why can't I roll the welcome wagon out?" she asked, visibly saddened and giving Volatile a sad pout, he put a hoof up to his forehead

"because my wagon is full of highly toxic and highly explosive chemicals and concoctions that if they went off in a chain reaction could possibly take out most of the town" Volatile replied with a highly strained voice

"oooooooh... I get it, ill just wait until you put it all away before I roll out the welcome wagon! that's good enough for me!" the pink monstrosity said, Volatile visibly sighed in relief that she would restrain herself at least until he put his chemicals away

"thank you, when im done you can do whatever you wish, as long as you remember to restrain yourself around me for a while" Volatile said, the pink creature smiled a joker-like smile while bouncing on the spot

"okie dokie loki!" she exclaimed

20 minutes later

"and THEN I said 'Oatmeal, are you CRAZY!?" Pinkie finished her wild story with a flourish

--elsewhere--

Rainbow Dash suddenly had an urge to say 'Pinkie Pie, you are SO random' despite Pinkie herself being nowhere nearby, the rainbow maned mare just shrugged and returned to her nap

--back to Pinkie and Volatile--

"wow... that is such a random story... I shall cherish it forever" Volatile said, a small tear coming to his eye

"awh! thank you! that is one of the best responses I have ever had for that story!" Pinkie said, refraining from tacklehugging the stallion for his comment

"as a randomness expert I appreciate the over randomness that is you, if I every accidentally blow you up, you shall forever remain in my heart my fellow randomaniac" the purple stallion replied, Pinkie just giggled at the randomness of that sentence as Volatile stopped in front of a house

"whelp, here we are, I would ask for your help but I honestly dont trust you with my chemicals... no offense" Volatile said giving Pinkie a small smile, the pink mare just shook the comment off

"awh, don't mind me, you lock all your chemicals away where foals and myself cannot reach them, and I'll wait out here for you" she replied, Volatile just shook his head

this was going to be the beautiful start of a Randationship with that pink mare

he had a gut feeling