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The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 3: "The origins of an Equestrian Flame War."
The three ponies walked merrily amongst the other townsfolk. Berry couldn’t help but marvel at how amazing the town’s decorations looked. Some might call Ponyville a hick town out in the sticks (or other colorful descriptions), but Ponyville folk knew how to party in style.
“Oh will you relax.” Berry stepped past her sister, “I’m not a total screw up, and I can do a ton of things if I focus long enough.” Berry looked right into her sister’s eyes and said in the most sincere tone she could muster; “Trust me. I got this.”
“…Alright.” Cheerilee still didn’t sound convinced, it wouldn’t have been the first time Berry had screwed things up after all. Nevertheless, it looked like she was willing to give Berry the benefit of the doubt. “Just…don’t be afraid to ask for help. You have friends and family, they'll help if you ask.”
“Oh you worry too much!” Berry said as she playfully bumped flanks with her sister, “Now go on, you’ve got young minds to nurture, tests to grade, students to punish, teachers to argue with and all that jazz.” Berry waved a hoof eagerly to her sister. She could tell that Cheerilee was trying not to look worried, but she wasn’t anywhere near as good of a liar as Berry Punch.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
Just a few more seconds...
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
And she’s out of sight. “Okay!” Now Berry could start panicking. She broke into a mad sprint back home, “Okay, okay, let’s see. What was I supposed to do?” She racked her brains as she tried to remember all the things Cheerilee said this morning:
“You‘re supposed to bring refreshments to the party and help set things up later tonight. You‘re also supposed to bring the candy to hand out to the Nightmare Nighters…have you even done that?”
There was definitely something else she was forgetting…COSTUME! She needed to finish Pinchy’s costume, whatever it was. “Okay, I know I did some work on it. But what else did I do? Actually, what was the costume supposed to be? Agh! Why do I always have to get drunk?!” She was seriously considering not drinking anymore...for about seven seconds.
She kicked the door to her room open. “Come on drunk Berry, you had to have left a clue or something!” She pleaded with her past self as she frantically searched her room: Tossing clothe all around, checking behind framed pictures, flipping over things that weren't nailed down. “Okay, okay, stop!” She stopped in the middle of lifting up her nightstand. “Okay, if I was drunk Berry…where would I leave a clue?”
. . . . . .
She immediately looked up to the ceiling.
. . . . .
There were times, during Berry’s high school years where she would sometimes see messages along the bathroom stalls. Something of an…anonymous message board or something. The note was kind of like that; it started off with a simple reminder of what the costume was supposed to be (Mare-Do-Well), which then started to turn into self-depreciating humor. Where she then stood up for herself, and then had an argument with herself. She had no idea what to call this sort of thing. It was kind of like a large-scale battle of sorts but with ponies a lot more heated. Fire Conflict? Nah that was a stupid name.
“Carousel Boutique”
It was written in Drunk Berry's usual, messy handwriting that only regular Berry could possibly understand. That was a dress shop, owned by the unicorn Rarity. Who happened to be good friends with Cheerilee but Berry and Rarity hardly ever spoken aside from the occasional: “Hello.”
The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 4: "You didn't kidnap her, right?"
It was a couple of months ago; Berry, Cheerilee Colgate, her brother Noteworthy (otherwise known as Blues), and Twilight Sparkle were sitting around a table in the Thunderbutt bar. It was an hour past closing, but they were all having fun, got a few drinks in (just a few drinks, mind). She was only tipsy, not full blown get-into-a-fight-with-a-tree-and-vomiting-what-has-my-life-become drunk.
“Okay, okay. So tell us what happened next Twilight!” Berry said as she took another chug of the delicious nectar filling the mug.
Twilight’s cheeks were rose colored as she struggled to maintain her balance, “And then at the last moment, *Hic* Rarity’s flank came into my mind saying; Twilight, it’s like I’m wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!” She mimicked Rarity’s accent and mannerisms perfectly, despite being just a wee bit drunk.
“Stupid sexy Rarity.” Ever pony burst out laughing at Berry‘s sudden comment. Berry pointed a hoof at Twilight, “Alright then, Ms. Librarian super pony and the rest of you, how‘re the love lives? Ever have a burning desire deep inside your heart that couldn‘t be filled by all the books in the world?!” Berry leaned in close, expecting a very saucy, interesting story from Twilight. She was from Canterlot after all; she must have had plenty of interesting romance stories?
“…?” Twilight just stared at her with a half-tired expression. “ *Hic* What?” She said through her giggles. “Oh, ohhhh, you mean like a coltfriend or a marefriend?” She laughed nervously and took another drink, “Well, I…may have had some passing interests in some ponies. But you know...studies *hic.* ” She points to Cheerilee with her hoof, “What about you Cheerilee? You and Big Mac have been spending a *hic* lot of time together lately.”
Cheerilee stopped mid-sip, she eyed the ponies around the table quizzically, then slowly put the mug down on the table, looked around once more and with a straight face she said in a flat tone; “…No comment.”
“Oh come on!” Colgate threw her hooves in the air, the mug flying out of her hoof and hitting the wall, “Alright, Berry!” And no one seemed to care that Colgate had just destroyed the mug.
“Hm?” Berry said while downing her third mug, “What’re we talking about?”
“Love lives! I know you must have some interesting stories! Whatever happened to that one mare from a few weeks back?”
“We met, had dinner, and then she tried to sell me a toaster.” Berry was lying through her teeth, “She had a very lovely tail.”
“Oh, you’re single? *Hic.* ” Twilight spoke up, “I always thought that you were…”
“That I was…?”
“Well, with Pinchy and all, I *Hic* thought you were with a stallion or-”
“Nope.” Berry cut her off, taking another chug.
“Hey, I’ve always wondered about that.” Colgate followed up, “Who is Pinchy’s father? I’m your best friend and you’ve never mentioned him once.”
“I’m her sister and you know what she told me?” Cheerilee stood up and mimicked Berry’s drunken sway, “Hey, sis! What has four legs and a foal to take care of. This gal! Here's your adorable niece by the way!” She holds up an invisible foal to absolutely no one, “Please don’t kick us out on the street. Ha! I still remember the day you showed up on my doorstep. I don‘t hear from you in years, and then you show up with a newborn foal without any explanation.”
“I always thought you kidnapped her from somewhere.” Colgate joked, and then everyone laughed. Then their laughs died down when they realized Berry wasn’t laughing. “…You didn’t kidnap her, right?”
“Huh? Of course not! Ruby Berry Pinch is definitely my fruit, take one look at her and that’s obvious.” Berry finished another drink; she stole Blue’s half-finished drink and took a hearty chug.
“So…where is her father then?” Blues spoke up suddenly.
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
For a while, the table was silent. Then Berry's somber tone broke the silence with: “It’s a long story, and I‘m way too wasted to go into detail. So here‘s the short version: I met a unicorn during my travels to find myself, we had some drinks, spent some time together it was...fun. But, circumstances had our paths go in different directions. I wanted to go to the Zebra lands, he wanted to go wrestle minotaurs. We parted ways and then a few months later I found out that I was pregnant. That was pretty much the end of my adventuring so I hoofed it back to Ponyville after Pinchy was born and used my charm to find a place to stay.”
“…You didn’t drink while you were-”
“NO!” She protested immediately. The entire table looked at her with a disbelieving stare. “…Okay fine, I had some drinks while she was still baking but COME ON, if I knew I was pregnant I probably wouldn’t have done a lot of things. I can't take back what's already done...” She then quickly added, “And the moment I found out that I WAS pregnant, I immediately stopped drinking!” The ponies still held the same disbelieving stares as if frozen in time, “I swear! Pinkie Pie promise!” She said while putting a hoof to her eye. "OW!" Motor skills were not tipsy Berry's strong points.
“Uh-huh.” It looked like they decided not to press the issue, deciding to take Berry’s word for it…despite her having a checkered history with the truth. “So…did you ever wonder what happened to him?” Colgate asked.
“Nope. I don‘t know where he is now, don‘t even know if he‘s still alive. All I know is, I have Pinchy and when she was born, I decided that I was going to be the best, most loving mother in the world. I think I‘ve done a pretty good job at raising her…right Cheerilee?”
“…I can’t believe I’m saying this, but…of all the things in your life, you do make a decent parent. A lot of parents are way too strict and other parents try too hard to be the foal‘s friend rather than a parent. You…you seem to have a pretty good balance going on. The only thing I worry about is if you‘re setting a good example for her.”
“Well that’s why you’re there, to set a much better ideal for her to live up to.” The conversation was suddenly interrupted when Twilight Sparkle fell over, laughing to herself and hiccuping. “I think she’s had enough, may as well get her home.” Berry and the others crowded around her, “Alright, come on.”
Such an odd memory to recall from just a picture…
The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 5: "TEAM TROLL IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"
Carousel Boutique.
Berry Punch was never really a fashionista, so she hardly came by. Like many ponies in Ponyville, she knew Rarity as the bearer of the Element of Generosity. Yes, she was a close friend of Cheerilee but that was the extent of their interactions. Berry hardly had a need for fancy dresses and Rarity wasn't the type to go out drinking. Still, they were never really on BAD terms, just kind of indifferent. Of course, there’s no telling what drunk Berry might’ve done. For all she knew, Rarity could have sworn a blood oath against Berry’s entire family line and her descendants. “Haha…oh Celestia I hope not.” She pushed the thought out of her head and ventured into the establishment. “Hello?” She called over the sound of the ringing bell hanging above the door.
“…” An eerie silence was her only response.
“Hm? Helllllllooooo?” She tried again but still found no answer. Maybe she wasn’t here then? Then why was the door unlocked?
“Have a fun night?” Berry suddenly had a strange feeling of déjà vu, as she stepped out from her hiding spot.
“Pardon? Oh…” She was starting to realize, “Oh my…I must look like an absolute mess. Berry Punch, right? Cheerilee‘s sister?”
“Last I checked, though I think I might be Cheerilee from another dimension sent here to ruin her life and make really bad jokes.” Berry joked around but Rarity didn’t seem very amused. “Ahem.” She cleared her throat, “Uh…did I do…something last night?”
“Oh, oh, yes! Of course.” Rarity trotted over to the row of mannequins, “Let’s see…no. No, not that one either. That’s for Sapphire Shores…ah here it is.” She pointed a hoof to the small filly shaped mannequin draped in the Mare-Do-Well costume, “You came in here, half conscious and then gave me a last minute order for a Mare-Do-Well costume.” Rarity said during a yawn, "It's fortunate that I had one laying around, just needed to make some slight adjustments for your daughter's build."
‘Thank you drunk Berry.’ Seemed a bit too easy, “How much do I owe?”
“You *yawn* already paid half the amount last night. So, just about 30 more bits and it‘s a deal.” Rarity seemed to be struggling to stay on her hooves.
“Oh, sure.” Berry dug into her saddlebag, bits…bits…where was her wallet? She definitely had plenty of money before she left. She made sure of it back in her bedroom and-
“Are you alright, dear?”
“Y-Yes, no problem! No problem at all but um…no. No, actually there is a slight problem.” Berry said with her head hanging low and averting her gaze from the unicorn‘s quizzical stare, ‘Okay, all’s not lost. I still have one chance at this.’ Berry Punch cleared her throat, stood up straight and said: “Well, you see…I was on my way here, money in hoof when suddenly…" she trailed off, her eyes darting around the room. Her eyes locking on a piece of paper with a drawing on it that looked like-
She altered her pitch and tone, “If you want to pass, you must answer my riddles three!” Berry couldn’t exactly tell what Rarity’s expression was, she really hoped that she was buying the story, Luna knew that even Berry wasn't buying it...heck, even drunk Berry would probably call bullcrap.
“He pointed to a hat on the ground. It seemed that trolls were in the middle of a recession, so he was a bit short on money. He assured me that if I won, I would be allowed to pass and get my money back. I accepted his challenge because nothing was going to stop me from going to this fine establishment and paying for the costume that my lovely daughter” She pulled out a photo of Pinchy that she carried around with her at all times, “wanted so badly! Yes, nothing was more powerful than the love I have for that beautiful little bundle of joy that is my greatest treasure! So then the troll asked me..."
“What gets wetter as it dries!”
"It was an easy riddle, the answer was obviously a towel!” Thank Celestia she still remembered the riddle game she used to play with Colgate, Cheerilee, and Blues during lunch all those years ago.
“Who is the most generous, most caring, most beautiful mare in all of Ponyville?”
"That was easy, I told him. The answer was Rarity, the unicorn! The most generous and kindhearted mare I have ever known!” That wasn’t a riddle, but it didn’t look like Rarity cared too much.
“How much does a male cow weigh?”
"But, I was confused, so I asked him: “A male cow? Don‘t you mean a bull?” And the troll was stunned in confusion, so he said..."
“What? I don‘t know?! WAIT I MEAN-” She made an exploding sound with her mouth while using her hooves to illustrate what she thought an explosion would look like.
"And then he exploded…but not before taking my money…so…can I maybe put this on my tab?” Berry Punch stepped back and waited to see the unicorn’s reaction, really hoping her story moved Rarity’s heart. She put on a nervously dumb smile to drive the point home.
“…” Rarity swayed for a bit.
“?” Berry Punch continued to stare at Rarity, “Ummm…are you-”
Rarity immediately started falling.
“Whoa there!!” Berry punch dived between Rarity and the ground. “Oof!” Rarity was a bit heavier than Berry would’ve expected. “Ow ow ow ow owwww…” Twice in one day. Well, three if you count this morning’s hangover dance.
“Wh-What?” Rarity stuttered, “Oh! Oh my! I’m terribly sorry!” Rarity said, pushing herself up onto her hooves. Then immediately swayed again.
“I gotcha.” Berry lent Rarity her body to keep herself stable. “Are you alright, Ms. Rarity?”
“Oh, well…yes. And no. You see, I’ve been up for 3 days straight, finishing all these last minute orders. I…might be a tiny bit tired.” Rarity raised a hoof to her mane, “I must look like an absolute wreck. So...unsightly.”
Yes. She really did. “What, you? No of course not, you look very beautiful Ms. Rarity.” Berry punch eyed the Mare-Do-Well costume, but sighed, “Come on, where’s your room. I’ll help you up to bed.”
“Oh, I couldn’t possibly-” Rarity said while slipping away again.
“No buts. Up to bed, milady.” Berry used the authoritative tone she reserved for misbehaving foals and misbehaving very drunk patrons at the Thunderbutt. “Come on, let’s go.”
“But, I can still-”
“Nope. Come on now, Cheerilee would bite my head off if I allowed you to work in your condition.” Berry led Rarity up the stairs, being very careful to make sure the unicorn seamstress was securely held.
“Alright, and here’s a glass of milk for you.” Berry left the mug of milk on Rarity’s fancy nightstand, right by the lamp.
“I’m terribly sorry for all this.” Rarity said through her yawns, even though her eyes were covered by the eye…bandanna…thingy, Berry could tell how apologetic she sounded.
Berry just smiled and laughed it off, “It’s no trouble. Part of being in the service industry is helping ponies. Besides, you‘ve done so much for the town as it is. Least I can do to help you.” Berry said while tucking Rarity into bed like she would Pinchy.
“Thank you.” Rarity said, sounding genuinely grateful for Berry's help. It brought a little smile to the mulberry mare's face.
Of course, now the problem was that she couldn't just take the costume. Maybe she could swing by her parent's house and hope they didn't throw away any old costumes that Berry and Cheerilee wore when they were foals? “No problem, now you just rest up for a few hours. I’ve got some errands to run.” Berry was halfway to the door when Rarity suddenly spoke up,
“About the costume…take it. Consider it a gift.” The element of generosity indeed.
Berry could hardly contain her joy, she gave a polite bow (realizing that Rarity couldn’t see it anyways); she closed the door to Rarity’s bedroom. Paused mid-step, and pressed her ear to the door. It wouldn’t be the first time she tucked a pony into bed, only for them to still be awake to do other things. Thankfully, she was hearing the peaceful snore of the unicorn known as Rarity. She breathed a sigh of relief and started down the stairs, feeling very satisfied with herself.
The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 6: "What is with you and zombies?"
The Thunderbutt diner/bar. Berry had worked there in her adolescent year. It was originally called something much more elegant, lost to time and years of alcohol consumption unfortunately. On the day the old mare decided to move to Manehattan to be with her family for her final days, she handed Berry Punch the deed and some very inspiring words that Berry tried to remember in everything she did:
"You can't change the past, so don't bother worrying about what you did back then.
...The old mare may have been drunk off her haunches when she gave Berry those words of wisdom. Regardless, the place was hers now. She originally wanted to spruce the place up, make it look good as new...
Curious. The door was unlocked. Did she forget to lock up last night? Or maybe…ZOMBIES?! ‘Be brave Berry.’ She took a deep breath, steadied her nerves and…barreled right through the door screaming: “DIE ZOMBIES!” She was about ready to fight a whole horde of vicious zombies…instead all she saw was Colgate and Blues. Blues standing on his hind legs while carrying a comically shivering Colgate, they both had terrified expressions stuck to their face. “…Am I interrupting something?” Berry joked, and then she felt a light telekinetic thwack to the head.
“You startled me, Berry. Came rushing in all of a sudden like a bat out of Tartarus.” Colgate got back onto her four hooves and dusted herself off.
“Yeah, I guess I did…” Then it suddenly hit her, “Did you two break into my bar?”
“Wh-No!” Colgate protested, “You gave us the spare key last night.” Oh yeah, she was wondering what happened to that back when she was tearing apart her room.
“Well, drunk Berry did.” Blues suddenly spoke up, turning his attention back to the large case resting against one of the tables.
“I did?” Berry Punch really WAS on a roll today! Maybe she should get drunk more often? It seemed to be going great for her so far. “And what’d drunk Berry say to do?”
Colgate used her magic to hoist a keg onto the table. “Keep an eye on this keg for starters, gather up some cups, a punch bowl and I think there was something else you wanted to tell me but…you were way too drunk, I couldn‘t really make out what you wanted to say. Mainly because you tried to get into a fight with a table.” Colgate had a really wide grin on her face that...kind of made Berry a little uncomfortable. "The table won, by the way."
Well that might explain why her headache hurt a little worse than usual that morning, “You seem pretty chipper?” Berry noticed Colgate’s good mood. Berry could almost think Colgate was trying to do a Pinkie Pie impression. And she was doing a decent job of it.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” Colgate’s happy smile suddenly turned mischievous, “Nightmare Night is like Hearth Warming for dentists.” Seeing Berry’s sour expression, Colgate quickly added, “Only joking! I would prefer my patients maintain their teeth properly…still…I do get an increase in patients after Nightmare Night. So…silver lining.”
Blue’s gaze shifted to the ceiling, “Hm…A robot?” He didn’t sound all that enthusiastic, probably wasn’t interested in the conversation. Just went back to examining his case. Typical Blues, if they were a two-pony comedy act then Colgate would most likely be the silly one, while Blues was the comic foil straight-stallion. “Maybe I should practice a bit?” He said to himself. “What about you Berry, what’s your costume?”
“…” Berry looked dumbfounded; at a complete loss for words, she realized…she didn’t have a costume. Well, she did have that Daring Do costume from last year but…there was a bit of a mishap with the costume a few weeks ago. She tried not to remember it. Long story short, she had to burn the costume afterwards. And even that would never make her feel clean again.
“Berry?"
“Huh?” She remembered that Blues had asked her a question, “Oh um…I’m…gonna be…” Two pairs of eyes on her, Berry laughed nervously. “I think I hear Cheerilee calling! In the backroom!” Berry dashed straight for the door past the counter. ‘Costume. Now I need a costume for me…I‘ll figure it out later.’ She pressed her ear against the door…
She heard the entrance open and then the sound of hooves leaving. But only one pair? “…” Her gaze drifted to a note hanging next to the door. She looked a bit closer and saw her own, very drunk, writing:
“Dear future Berry, the keg has the drinks but do-” it just ended in a scribbling mess that drunk Berry must’ve thought were words at one point.
"Ah whatever, couldn’t have been important." Her thoughts were interrupted by the melodious sound of the saxophone in the other room. She had always liked Blues playing…okay maybe she actually just liked Blues in the past, but that was in the past. Right? It felt like such a long time ago...
It was shortly after Berry and Colgate's little scuffle on the playground. Leave it to Berry to kick a filly in the face and then become her best friend a week later. Turned out the two had a lot in common and had a lot of fun hanging out with each other. It was when school was over for the day that the three fillies: "Berry, Cheerilee, and Colgate were discussing weekend plans, that Berry heard the sound of music playing somewhere in the school house. It was like she was being lured by a siren's call as she followed the sound to...Mr. Autumn's extracurricular music class, where she peeked into the open door to see the blue colt playing that instrument that seemed much too large for him.
Colgate whispered into Berry's ear, "Berry and Bluesie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-" That was as far as she got before Berry shoved a hoof over her mouth!
"I-I-I do not!" She protested hastily.
"Oh, you totally do! Ahahahaha!"
"Guys, please, they're having a class right now-"
"I do not, stink breath!"
"Hey! I brush my teeth 3 times a day! Do you brush yours even once?!"
"Girls..." Cheerilee's voice was little more than a whisper.
"Ahem! If you're quite finished..." The gravely voice of Mr. Autumn was like ice water down their spines, "I would suggest you three kindly wait for class to finish before you go about your two-pony comedy act."
"S-Sorry, sir!" The three fillies hastily apologized in unison. Out of the corner of Berry's eye, she met Blue's gaze. She half-heartedly smiled and expected the colt's blank stare to turn into a smile as well.
Instead, all he said was: "...Now there's two of them..." And that was the day she met Noteworthy aka Blues.
"I've met ponies under worse circumstances."
“It’s okay, she owns the place!” Colgate frantically exclaimed.
“Oh...I apologize profusely.” She heard the apologetic tone of a voice that seemed…very familiar.
Before Berry could take a look at the pony that had lifted her up, she was suddenly subject to the laws of gravity once again. “Owwww.” Gravity really had it out for her today.
“Are you unharmed, bartender?”
“Well I prefer to call it a diner but-” Berry stopped when she looked up to see the tall dark mare she was talking to. “P-P-Princess Luna!” Berry bowed down low, accidentally smacking her muzzle to the hardwood floor. Ignore the pain; Berry was in the presence of royalty, “What brings you here?” She asked, not looking up at the princess of the night. Feeling that she was unworthy to look upon her grace.
“…” The sound of Luna’s hoof steps got closer, then walked away from her…towards the bar counter?
Berry looked up from the floor, seeing Luna sitting at the counter. On the customer side. Was she really…
“I am here for the annual nightmare night celebration; I’m…a bit early. I was very much hoping to sample your wares and mingle with the citizens of Ponyville. Unless, I am imposing?”
“N-No! Not at all! Please, make yourself at home!” Berry rushed over to the other side of the counter, ‘Bartender persona. Bartender persona.’ Berry tried to get in the zone, shaking her legs all about and blinking. It must’ve looked strange to anyone else. She was ready. “Ahem.” She cleared her throat and put on a warm smile, “What can I get you, princess?”
Luna looked at the various bottles behind Berry; her face displayed a look of confusion. She seemed very uncomfortable for some reason. This made Berry a little anxious, had she already messed something up? Was she about to be escorted to a dungeon? Oh dear…
“W-Would you like me to recommend something?” Berry squeaked with a wavering voice, her cool bartender persona breaking with each word.
At this, Luna’s expression seemed to soften; “Yes, that would be most helpful. Thank you.”
“Okay then!” A drink fit for a princess, a drink fit for a princess, a drink fit for a princess…which of her terrible concoctions could be fit to grace the lips of the princess of the night? Maybe some whiskey? Nah, no alcohol. She was definitely not gonna be responsible for the princess getting drunk and making a fool of herself on a day that is supposed to be ABOUT her. Well, technically Nightmare Moon but lets not nitpick. Maybe some water? Heck no, too boring. Maybe some of the stronger stuff? Again, no. Not getting the princess super drunk. Not tonight at least.
“Is…there a problem?”
“No, no, no problem!” Oh screw it. Berry grabbed a bunch of random drinks, poured them into a mug, stirred them up and done. “Aaand here you are.” Berry said while sliding the mug over to Princess Luna. ‘Please don’t be poison. Please don’t be poison. Please don’t be poison.’
As Luna took an elegant sip, the room was quiet. As if waiting for something big to happen!
Berry let that sink in for a bit; “It’s good.” Berry let out a breath that she hadn’t realized she’d been holding all this time. ‘Thank goodness.’ She scrapped that mental note for now at least.
“What do you call this beverage?”
“…” Aaand there’s the wall, hm...Berry had been a frequent visitor to this imaginary mental wall today. Was there some kind of punch card that could give her a reward if she-
“Starry Night.” Blues suddenly spoke up from the nearby table.
She could KISS him and his quick wit right about now! “Yes! Starry Night, it’s something that I’ve been experimenting with recently. How’s it taste?”
“I have lived for over a thousand years, unfortunately I must ask forgiveness. It’s...very hard to describe the taste.” Luna said while taking another sip. “It is quite good though.” She stretched her wings and took a deep breath, “I hear barkeeps make for excellent conversation. Would you…care to grace me with conversation, fair barkeep?”
The mood in Thunderbutt started to relax just a bit while Luna drank. ‘Alright. Cool bartender, cool bartender.’ Berry put on a wide smile and said, maybe a little too eagerly. “Of course! I’m Berry Punch.” She introduced herself, “I’m not that interesting of a pony. I prefer to listen rather than talk about myself. You…must have some interesting stories, I mean you've been around for so long and-” Too late. Berry must have stepped on a faux paus landmine. Luna might take it that Berry was calling her old. Or pointing out the 1000-year imprisonment. Or even something else that Berry hadn‘t considered.
“I have…many stories.” Luna didn’t seem to notice the faux paus, thankfully. Probably due to being gone for a thousand years, “If you would allow it, I would certainly tell you one from long ago. It's about a guard I once knew before my imprisonment, you may remember her as Radiant Gem.”
Berry wasn’t really into history all that much, but she’d be stupid to turn down Luna’s story (for more reasons than one).
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The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 7: "Nopony parties like Pinkie Pie? Berry Punch would like a word!"
By the time the three of them left the Thunderbutt, the sun was already starting to set. It was almost time; ponies were already gathered by the town hall. Setting up the party decorations and such.
“As fun as our time together has been, I must bid you farewell, Ms. Berry Punch.” Luna said as she flapped her massive wings and took flight.
“It was nice talking to you, Princess Luna!” Berry called after Luna while waving.
“Come on then.” Blues helped Berry back onto her hooves, “You’re doing great so far.”
“Heh, thanks.” Berry said, shaking herself loose. Her limbs were WAY too stiff.
“Yeah…” He looked like he wanted to say something else, but was having a hard time finding the right words. He opened his mouth a few times, but couldn’t say anything. “…I can take care of those.” He pointed his hoof to Berry’s saddlebags which contained the punch bowl and a whole lot of cups, there was one bag that was hanging in front of her torso that contained Pinchy‘s costume as well.
“Really? That’d be great!” Berry said, taking the strap in her mouth. With the keg on Blues back, he probably couldn’t hold it that way. She was just gonna pass the strap and then figure it out from there. As she stepped forward, her fore leg got tangled up in the strap, then the straps of the saddlebags got tangled up in each other. Just a mess of tangles. She lost her ground and stumbled right towards Blues. She stopped just as their muzzles touched.
“…”
“…” The two were very silent, just maintaining that same position.
“Ihavetogocleanmycatoutofthetreefortvomitandshame!” And with that, Berry ran off as fast as her hooves could carry her. ‘Keep running Berry, keep running! Don’t look back! Deal with that later, other things to take care of!’
CRASH
“Berry? That you?” Cheerilee’s pained voice called to her.
“Cheerilee?”
Cheerilee got back up, helping Berry onto her hooves as well. She was about to say something but stopped, “Are you alright? Your cheeks seem…very red. Redder than usual, have you been dri-”
“NOTHING HAPPENED!” A bit too loud, ponies took notice for a brief moment.
“…O…kay?” Cheerilee seemed to drop the subject, “Did you get the stuff?”
“The what?”
“The stuff! Berry, are you sure you’re okay?” Cheerilee stepped forward, her hoof reaching for Berry's forehead.
Berry reared up on her hind legs and swatted Cheerilee's hoof away hastily, “I’m fine, and yes I have the stuff!” Berry slid the costume bag down and smiled unconvincingly.
“Drinks, cups, punch bowl?”
“Blues-” She stopped, cleared her throat and shook her head to get the memory out of her head. “Bluesistakingcareofit!” She said way too quickly.
“Oh…I see.”
“Yes, is that everything?!” Berry needed a drink, really, really badly.
“Where’s the candy?”
“…Candy?” Berry said in a low tone. The candy. She forgot the candy. She forgot the candy. She forgot the candy. SHE FORGOT THE CANDY! Make up an excuse, make up an excuse, there’s gotta be some candy around here somewhere that she could obtain at the last minute!
Cheerilee laughed.
Laughing. Why was she laughing? Was she laughing at Berry’s failure? What the hay, Cheerilee, when did you get so cruel?!
Cheerilee showed the contents of her own saddlebag.
“I…um…yeah, I guess I did?” This was a very odd experience for Berry. When was the last time Cheerilee had shown honest appreciation for Berry’s efforts? She couldn’t remember the last time. It felt nice. Nightmare Night would've gone on even if she had failed, but at least Cheerilee was happy with her.
“Come on, lets go pick Pinchy up from school and then help set things up. Seems like you had an interesting day?”
"Long story sis, long story. Days not over yet either." She watched as the night sky started to overtake the skies, Nightmare Night was starting soon. "Come on let's hurry up, we don't wanna be late!"
"So this is what the teacher's lounge looks like." One might've expected that to come out of Pinchy's mouth, but it was Berry who said that. She'd been scolded outside the teacher's lounge before, but never inside one. Before Berry went on another flashback journey, she put the costume bag down and pulled out the costume. "Wow she really did a nice job on the costume." Berry said while admiring the handiwork of the Mare-Do-Well costume Rarity adjusted. "Okay, Pinchy! Come over here and I'll just help you get this on-"
"Mom, I can do it myself." Pinchy said, then used her telekinetic grip to don the Mare-Do-Well costume.
"Ha." Berry laughed, "Look at you. Ruby Berry Pinch, a few years ago I was changing your diaper and...reading a ton of books on raising a unicorn. And now, you're telekinetically dressing yourself without my help." As much help as Berry could give, being an Earth Pony. "And look, I'm not floating in the air screaming; Cheerilee help, I'm stuck on the ceiling! Random unicorn bursts, that took some getting used to, do you remember your nan-" She stopped mid sentence. Although, she noticed Pinchy's old habit of swallowing more than she could chew. While putting on the tights, she was clearly having a hard time holding up all the articles at once. Berry sprung into action, not wanting Pinchy to tire herself out.
"Look! I'm a mannequin!" Berry mimicked a mannequins ability to...be pelted with clothe.
"Oh mom..." Pinchy struggled to hide a smile before she telekinetically picked up the cloak from Berry's back and started wrapping it around herself. She seemed to be having trouble getting it just right though.
"Here, I can h-"
"I-I can do it myself, mom." Pinchy said, a little frustrated. But she was only making it worse, her frown only got heavier.
"Pinchy."
"No, I can-"
"Ruby Berry Pinch." Berry's authoritative voice took over for a second, freezing Pinchy in place. Berry bit down on the cape and fixed it for her, "There, all better now?"
Pinchy just looked defeated, like she'd lost against some invisible foe.
"Hey come on now, don't look like that." Berry picked up the hat with her teeth and placed it gently on Pinchy's head. She then lovingly nuzzled against her precious daughter, "There's nothing wrong with getting help once in a while." And then Berry got a strange sense of deja vu. "I love you, and just want to help you. Because I'm your mom, and that's what moms do."
"I...I know mom. Th-Thanks." Pinchy averted her mother's gaze while putting on the mask.
"Wow! You look great Pinchy! Just like the real thing!" Berry was trying SO. HARD. to not hug her adorable daughter. "We'll have to thank Ms. Rarity for this later, right Pinchy? Hm, now let's see...how should we spend Nightmare Night? Hit our usual houses? I know the Cakes and Pinkie Pie have something really special planned tonight. Ooh, we can prank aunt Cheerilee, it is nightmare night after all!"
"M-Mom..." Pinchy's voice almost went unnoticed, one might think that she was trying to do a very accurate impression of Fluttershy (well...pre-nightmare night Fluttershy), "Umm..." Pinchy seemed to be struggling to get the words out.
"What's wrong, Pinchy? You're not sick are you?"
"No it's not that."
"Did you want to go to other houses together or-"
"I...want to hang out with my friends tonight. If...that's okay?"
There was a...strange pressure in Berry's chest that, she hadn't felt for a while. It was a bit like her heart was sinking, "O-oh, well...I could come with you or-"
"I...want to hang out with them...on my own. Please? Lemon Daze says she mapped out the the best places for candy and..." Her voice trailed off, apparently having lost her nerve.
"..." Berry was at a loss for words. They'd always spent time together on Nightmare Night, if not with her than usually Cheerilee was with her but, "There'll be a chaperone right? A big pony to watch all of you right, do I know the ponies you'll be with?"
"Y-Yeah, of course! It's just me, Pipsqueak, Noi, Coronet, Lemon Daze, Dinky, and Rumble. Plus, Rumble's older brother watching us!"
Thunderlane wasn't exactly the best role model, but he was reliable at least. Well, not Applejack reliable, but she could at least trust him to watch the Thunderbutt for a few minutes while she went out for an errand.
"Okay!" Pinchy's horn sparked with excitement, before she composed herself. "Thank you, mom."
Berry expected a hug or something, but Pinchy just gathered up her stuff and ran out of the room with a wide grin on her face.
"And be careful!" Berry called after her. A sigh escaped her lips as she placed a hoof over her chest, her heart hurt a bit. Actually it kind of hurt a lot. Why did it feel like she just got dumped?
"Berry? You okay?" Colgate stepped into the room, followed by Cheerilee.
"Y-Yeah. I'm fine." She choked out. She smacked herself in the face with her fore leg, "Yeah, of course! Why wouldn't I be?!" Her voice was a little too high pitched. She grabbed a cup and took a drink out of the water cooler.
A smile formed on Colgate's face. However, it wasn't a; "YEAH, PARTIES ARE AWESOME" smile. She placed a hoof around Berry's neck and drew her in for a friendly hug, "Remember when you were that age?"
"Don't remind me." Cheerilee entered the conversation, "Back then, Berry would try to sneak away from our parents to go hang out with...you. And then you both got in trouble, and then I got in trouble for not watching you close enough, and then we spent some quality time in the punishment corner."
"Ha! Nightmare Night tradition!" Colgate pulled both of the mares in for a group hug.
"Yeah, yeah..." Where was her usual energy? Her usual smile? Curiously absent, "did I make the right decision?" Berry wanted someone smart like Cheerilee to tell her that it was a good choice.
"Hm..." Cheerilee's eyes drifted off to one side, "Well, I can't say for certain until the night is over. But, I'm glad you let her go. Diamond Tiara was poking fun at her for being a mama's filly, I scolded her but maybe it affected Pinchy more than I realized." Cheerilee sighed, "Honestly, I don't know what to do with that filly."
"Send her to me, every filly is terrified of the dentist! You should've seen Diamond Tiara when she came in 3 months ago, I thought she was gonna make a mess of my clean floor when she saw the equipment!" And with that, the three mares shared a laugh.
"Alright, that's enough fun for now." Cheerilee clapped her fore hooves, "There's still some setting up to do so lets get to it".
"Got it! Oh, I almost forgot!" Colgate dropped her saddle bag in front of Cheerilee and Berry. She had a wide smile on her face, "Makeovers~"
"...We're not about to sing or something are we?" Yeah, Ponyville would frequently break out into random song (there was one happening outside right now, Berry could hear it!)
Colgate noticed a piano in the teacher's lounge, why? Who knew! A wide smile appeared on her face as she dashed over to it. She took a seat, turned to the two mares with a wide smile. She opened her mouth to take in a deep breath and then...
The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 8: "The hay am I drinking?!"
With the last shred of the evening sky gone from Ponyville, Nightmare Night was on.
Berry was sitting at a table, with her head buried in her hooves. Back in school, she’d do this if she was super tired from the night before. In her adult years, it was because she had a hangover. This time…it was because she was sitting next to Blues (and not because their first nightmare nighter was one of the scary looking minotaurs she'd heard about). Colgate was supposed to be the one sitting there; instead, she just dropped off a dentist’s costume for Berry (which she modified slightly to make Berry look like a zombie attack victim. Cheerilee had a matching one, albeit with less zombie) and then rushed off to parts unknown...
“…” The awkward silence in the air. Berry could FEEL it penetrating every part of her bo- Berry suddenly lifted, then slammed her head down on the table.
“Are you alright?!” Blues said urgently. Apparently, the sudden bang startled him.
“Just peachy.” Berry said immediately, obviously lying. She hated peaches.
“…About what happened earlier-”
Berry shoved a hoof over his mouth, “Just…let’s not talk about it. Okay?” Berry sighed and shut her eyes, “Normal me. Normal me." Why was she acting so…odd…like she had regressed back to her adolescent years? All that happened was their muzzles touched, it wasn’t like they kissed or any...thing...
“You really love her, don’t you?” Blues suddenly spoke up in his usual deadpan.
“Yeah. I really do. It‘s funny; before I left Ponyville, I never gave any thought to having a foal of my own. I was young and impulsive. My cutie mark was just a picture of fruit, was I supposed to be a juice maker? Was my destiny to be a farmer? I spent a lot of my adolescent years thinking about it and being disappointed by my cutie mark, I wanted to go out and see the world. Meet interesting ponies, maybe…do a lot of things not just, be stuck in the same place making juice for the rest of my life.” Berry’s voice trailed off, “Then I had her, and suddenly all I wanted to do was be a good parent. Everything else came secondary. Heh, I had to beg that old mare who owned the bar to give me a job. She was so convinced that if I worked there, I would just drink everything for free...and every day was a new hell. All those drinks...that I couldn't drink, or I get fired. You. Have. No. Idea. How. Much. Willpower. That. Took.” Even now, she had nightmares about it.
“Has she ever asked about her father?”
Why was he asking that? It was a really weird response to what Berry had just been talking about, “She...hasn’t yet, but I know the question'll come by eventually. One day she‘ll ask me where her father is and then I‘ll…” She stopped, looking down into her cup as if the contents of the drink would give her the answer. She sighed and answered, “When that time comes, I’ll tell her the truth.”
"And...what is the truth?”
And here it comes, “Did you think I never tried to find him? I always kept an ear to the ground, always listening to the conversations of others. Maybe someone saw him on their travels. Heck, I had a little wall with connecting threads and sticky notes, clipped out newspaper articles, things that could help me find him. Honestly, I think I was a little obsessed. About three years after Pinchy was born, I got a lead. So I followed the trail along Equestria. I remember, back then all I wanted to do was tell him about his daughter in Ponyville, I thought that maybe he still had feelings for me. Maybe we could go back to Ponyville, be a real family and all that and I wouldn't have to mooch off Cheerilee or have to bear the disapproving stares of other mothers.”
“So what happened?”
“…” Berry sighed, “I found his home, out in the Griffin lands. A quiet little town, a lot like Ponyville. I was at his front door, I was just about to ring the bell and then…something just...compelled me to look the front window first. So, I peeked in as much as I could, and I saw him there; with another mare and two foals of his own. A lovely little newborn filly and another foal about Pinchy's age. I was confused at first, this traveler who nearly 5 years ago said that there was so much to see and do in the world, that he was a free spirit that could never be tied down…was playing the role of FATHER AND HUSBAND to somepony else.”
“Do you regret it? I mean, do you still have feelings for him, er…” Understandably, this was a difficult subject to approach.
“It’s been years. I think a little part of me will always remember him, but that life is behind me now. I‘m just Berry Punch the single mother, the town drunk, the bartender, the screw up. I don‘t know if my choices were wrong, I don‘t know if Pinchy will hate me for never telling her the truth. But I‘m not a smart pony, I can‘t predict the future.”
“You’re not a screw up.” Blues suddenly looked mad.
“I-”
“No. You’re not a screw up. Look at Pinchy over there; look at her smile in her Mare-Do-Well costume, with all that candy in her bag and with her friends. If you were a screw up, she wouldn‘t even be out here. Not only that, Berry, a lot of townsfolk really like you. Even I-” He stopped, “Even…I…think you’re a good pony.” He averted his gaze from her.
“…Pft!” Berry couldn’t keep her laughter contained anymore. “What are you getting so shy about?” Berry wiped a tear from her eye, “It’s almost like you’re trying to confess your love to me or something.” But that couldn’t happen…right?
“Y-Yeah.” Blues laughed it off. He raised his mug to Berry. “To Nightmare Night.”
Berry smiled and raised her mug as well, “To a wonderful Nightmare Night.”
Clink
Berry chugged the contents of her drink in one gulp.
This was not juice.
“…Berry…is this-”
“Yes.” Berry said, her voice could barely contain her shock. “It’s alcohol.” She squeaked out.
“Why…is this alcohol? Maybe we‘re mistaken?” Blues said, hopeful.
But he was wrong. Berry had been around alcohol for years. SHE WAS QUEEN DRINKSALOT FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE! There was no way she would mistake the taste for anything else. “How did this-” Berry remembered the note. “Oh crap.” The note, the end of the note. It was a warning. They took the wrong keg. And now the punch bowl was spiked.
“Berry, we have to tell someone.”
“NO!” Berry said a little too loudly, drawing the attention of nearby ponies. “No…WE DON’T HAVE ANY SMARTIES!” Nice save. She scooted closer to Blues, “Look, Cheerilee already thinks I’m a screw up and I know a lot of ponies think I’m just a town drunk." She saw him open his mouth and then raised a hoof, "Please don’t console me. And if we tell everypony; “Yeah, Berry accidentally spiked the drinks because she was drunk when she was preparing it” I will never live it down. Cheerilee will never trust me with anything ever again, Pinchy will probably be teased in school, and the town will hate me for this. I am NOT about to let that happen. No. If we‘re gonna do this, we need to do it discreetly.”
“How are we going to do that?” Blues had little to no faith in covertly getting rid of the drinks. It was a crazy, nonsensical plan but Berry was very insistent on it despite the fact that neither of them were unicorns.
“I don’t know!” Think Berry, think. Her eyes drifted the moon's brilliant glow, as if it would have an answer...and it did! “Princess Luna.”
“I thought you wanted to do this covertly.” He wasn't sure how telling the princess counted as covert. That was right up there with wanting to give back the money you stole, by handing it to the police.
“Yes, but I can‘t use magic, maybe her alicorn magic will help us. Okay, go find Luna and Colgate, maybe Twilight if she's around. Meet me by the punch bowl!”
“Wait, wait!” Blues said as he bit down on Berry’s tail, stopping her from running away. “What are we gonna do about the stand?”
They had bigger issues to deal with, but Berry probably needed to do something about that, “Argh!” She grabbed a marker with her mouth and turned the candy bowl towards her.
“Please take one.”
The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 9: "Obligatory Tenacious D. reference."
Berry ran as fast as her hooves could carry her, silently wishing she were a more athletic earth pony! She tried to ignore the voices in her head telling her how badly she screwed up, ‘No time for self pity! I have to fix this!’ There’s the punch bowl. All she had to do was get rid of the contents discreetly. Maybe slip a bug in and mention how the punch was contaminated, or maybe just drink it all herself, or-
“Berry?!” Cheerilee exclaimed in a tone that sent a shiver down Berry’s spine. Worst pony to run into right now. “Are you alright?!” She said with concern, taking out a handkerchief from her saddlebag and wiping the contents off Berry’s face.
Berry felt like she was a little foal again, “I’m fine, I’m fine.” Berry needed to do something. “Has Pinchy drank from the bowl?”
“Um…not that I’m aware of.”
“Good.” One problem down.
“Good?”
Crap. “Because I don’t want her drinking something that had a bug in it!” Nice save.
“A bug? What? Berry, is there-”
“Berry!” Blues came barreling towards her, stopping just in front of the twin sisters with Twilight, Colgate, and Luna in tow. He seemed out of breath. “Just, phew…gimme a minute to catch my breath and…uhhh.” He collapsed in a tired heap.
“Berry…” Cheerilee said in a low, accusing tone. The concern in Cheerilee’s eyes were clear as day (well, more like as clear as a light in the dark…since it was night time), “What’s-”
“Hey Cheerilee, I think I saw some bullying going on near Sugarcube corner.” Colgate suddenly spoke up, pointing her tail in the direction of the pastry shop.
“What?!” Cheerilee sped off so fast she nearly knocked Berry over.
“Nice one, Colgate.” Berry turned to the unicorns and Princess Luna and cleared her throat, “Okay, what do you know?”
“Blues filled us in on the basics.” Twilight answered immediately, “And I might know a spell or two that can help with the problem, but…”
“Would it not be better to just tell the truth?” Luna's gaze hit Berry the hardest.
"Yeah, I think it would be best to just come clean before it gets worse, Berry." Colgate urged.
“Maybe. But I…” She realized she was being selfish. “But, I really don’t want ponies to remember this night as the one where Berry got everyone drunk. Please, princess, they’ll never forgive me and I’ll lose a lot of friends if I do. Please, believe in me. I can fix this! I just need you, well, all of you to trust and work with me on this. Please!”
“…” Luna closed her eyes, considering this. “Very well, I know how it feels to lose friends. I will assist you in whatever way I can.”
Berry smiled.
“However, if you can not solve this soon, then I will have to take action.”
Berry’s smile faded, lot of pressure right now. “Okay, okay…Twilight. Plan?” Berry wasn’t the smart pony here afterall.
“Well…” Twilight touched a hoof to her chin. “I suppose if you were to somehow get everyone’s attention, that might give us enough time to use our magic to discreetly dump everyone’s drinks.”
“Center of attention. Got it.” Berry could do that, she just needed an opening to exploit. “Hm.” Maybe if she started a fire (and then mentally smacked herself), no fires! She didn’t want to cause a panic. Maybe a spooky story? Nope. What about that family of minotaurs-
Colgate had been preoccupied poking Blue's body, she wasn't quite sure if he was still alive. “Okay? But what are you-”
“Trust me.” And with that, Berry sped off to the minotaur. She prayed this would work…
A gray, 7 foot tall minotaur stood amongst ponies. One of his horns were broken, and he seemed genuinely nice…for a minotaur. What Berry assumed was his young son, was hanging out with some nightmare nighters. Ponies. Always an accepting bunch.
They’ve met? “Hello?” Berry responded, confused at first.
“I forgot to thank you for showing me such hospitality at your establishment last night. Many ponies don‘t approach minotaurs because we're so...intimidating. However, you treated us like we were part of the herd, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.” He graciously bowed.
“Oh, the pleasures all mine.” Berry returned the bow, and then remembered she was supposed to do something. She suddenly stood on her hind legs in a threatening stance!
“Wa-a-ait
She sang quite loudly enough to get the attention of a great number of ponies nearby.
“Hm?” The minotaur seemed confused, “Um…I‘m Broken Horn? We met last night?”
“I challenge you
Broken Horn didn’t wear socks, “…” He turned away from Berry, was he declining?
“DAMN!
He pulled out a rolled up parchment from his bag and pointed to it.
“The Bovine’s code forbids me
He seemed to be mimicking Berry’s style of singing (which she heard from some other pony, moving on).
Terms? She needed terms, oh…crap. The one flaw in her plan. “Um…” All eyes were on her now. She eyed the broken horned minotaur’s considerably large bag of candy and then saw Pinchy with the smaller minotaur. She could kill two birds with one stone.
“I-If I win
She pointed her tail over to Pinchy. Oh, there was one other thing she could do.
“And also you will have to pay my re-e-ent~”
Technically, Berry didn’t pay rent. However, a couple extra bits wouldn’t hurt for her Pinchy Fund further down the line.
Broken Horn stroked his dark red goatee, mulling over the option. He then turned his golden eyes onto Berry Punch and said in a deep, low voice:
“And what if I wi-i-in?”
“Berry!” Cheerilee came rushing through the crowd, seemingly out of breath. “What is going on? One of the teachers told me you’re picking a fight with a minotaur or something and-” Cheerilee eyed Broken Horn, who returned the gaze…and then quickly looked away. Was that? No. No, it couldn’t be.
“…I’m so sorry, sis.” Berry couldn’t miss this chance, even if it was unlikely.
“Then you can take Cheerilee out for lunch.”
“…WHAT?!” Cheerilee exclaimed a little too loudly.
“Sorry, sis, it’s the only way.” Berry murmured; the apologetic look stuck on her face. She knew Cheerilee was going to kick her flank later.
“What are you talking about?!”
Berry pulled Cheerilee closer to her, stared directly into the minotaur’s golden eyes peering down at her and then sang;
“She is totally single.”
Berry ruffled her sister’s mane playfully. Apparently, Berry had just pimped her older twin sister. She didn’t even know what pimping was!
Broken Horn grew silent, and then with a resounding voice he said:
“FINE!”
Colgate and Blues came back with ale of beer hoisted onto their backs. Blues looked even more exhausted than before, he should probably lay down or get some drinks or...maybe go to a hospital.
Broken Horn picked up one of the unused tables and slammed it down between himself and Berry Punch. The table making a loud THUD as it hit the ground.
“LET THE DRINK-OFF BEGIN!”
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The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 10: "Bet you didn't think you'd see two music references, did ya?"
The arena (if you could call it that) was set up and the crowds were gathered, all of Ponyville was here to watch Berry Punch, the town drunk vs. a very big, scary minotaur known as Broken Horn (who was actually kind of a softie). Berry shifted on her haunches, trying to get a comfortable sitting position. Cheerilee stood beside her with a worried expression and asked, “Berry what is going on? I feel like a broken record asking that but seriously, what is going on?!”
“Don’t worry, Cheerilee. I got this, I’m Queen Drinksalot, I never lose.” She eyed Colgate, Luna, and Twilight then nodded. The three magic users dispersed into the crowd. All Berry had to do was keep everyone’s attention on her while the magic users got rid of the drinks. It was a crazy, stupid plan that only Berry could come up with (if it were Drunk Berry, there would probably be some explosions and time travel incorporated into the plan)…so crazy it just might work! Besides, there was no way Berry could ever lose in a DRINKING CONTEST! She got her cutie mark after her first experience at making wine (she was kind of a rebellious little filly).
“Um…actually…” Colgate whispered into Berry’s ear, “He dethroned you last night.”
“…..” It was like time stood still for Berry as all the color drained out from her body, “What?” She squeaked out, having completely lost her former bravado. Oh there it was, flying away. Bye-bye bravado.
“He beat you in a drinking contest last night. That makes him the undisputed best drinker in all of Equestria.” Colgate laughed nervously, then went back to helping Blues onto the medical cot.
“…Oh…” Berry mumbled softly. Yep. She was doomed. Because the moment this contest ended, Cheerilee was going to bury her alive and on her tombstone, her epitaph would read:
"Berry Punch
Well, if she was gonna go down...then she was gonna go down while trying to reclaim her title (she may have lost sight of her original goal). Dying while drunk was probably better than dying with a hangover or...sober, anyways.
1st round of drinks. No problems. Berry routinely looked out into the crowd to see the magic users do their work; she didn’t hear any commotion so it must’ve been working.
5th round of drinks. Berry was starting to feel a little buzzed; she couldn’t tell at all what Broken Horn must’ve been feeling like. In fact, he seemed unaffected by the ale. Regardless this was a battle where her LIFE was on the line here, because Cheerilee's death glare in the corner of her vision was all she could see. She might just keel over right then and there if the drinks or Cheerilee don't kill her first.
7th round of drinks, the two start talking about the weather lately, and the origins of Nightmare Night in addition to Clan Vega customs and the history of how the clan formed. Which of course, Berry wouldn't remember.
10th round of drinks and Berry was starting to see an extra pair of Broken Horns standing beside the minotaur. Or maybe those were just members of his clan trying to keep him from toppling over? She really hoped that was it, because right now somepony was doing the same for her. 'Come on Berry, this is nothing!' With renewed vigor, she slammed her mug down for the next round.
15th round of drinks, and the two start debating philosophies that only two alcoholics could:
“Applejack Daniels is the best ale in all of Equestria!”
“Are your brain damaged?! Bourbovine could totally beat Applejack Daniels in a fight to the death!”
23rd round of drinks, they start talking about interesting stories which usually ended with: "And then I got kicked in the face!"
30th round of drinks and Berry’s starting to waver. Was Broken Horn feeling the same way? She couldn’t tell, too distracted by the colors just blending together to form...uh...um...she didn't remember how this narration went.
Green round of drinks. What was she even doing anymore? HOLY CELSTIA, WHAT KIND OF COLOR WAS THAT! SHE NEEDED TO THINK OF A NAME FOR IT RIGHT NOW! SHE NEEDED TO PATENT THAT COLOR! SELL IT TO PONIES AND MAKE BILLIONS! EVERY TIME SOMEONE SAW THAT COLOR, THEY WOULD PAY HER MONEY! AND THE CURRENCY WOULD BE BOTTLES OF APPLEJACK DANIELS!
Glorgilsmatch round of drinks! 'OH CELESTIA IS THAT A MINOTAUR, WHERE DID ALL THESE PONIES COME FROM?!'
{Unintelligible} round of drinks. 'Hey, why is the sky on the floor?'
hgWTGnbg21045911........
…….
Hello flooring my old friend.
THUD
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The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 11: "Not really that big of a screw up."
Darkness. Tons of darkness, and then there was light. A light at the end, it felt so warm. She wanted to go to it. Beyond that light were things beyond her wildest imaginations.
Even a talking elephant-bear with a heavy Trottingham accent?
Yep.
With a little country music singing top hat?
Yep.
And the elephant is the bartender for the best bar in the afterlife that has every drink ever thought of?
Yep.
Even Applejack Daniels?!
Err…no, not that.
...Yeah, that light looked like a big cup of nope!
“Uuuuuu.” Berry awoke, disoriented, to the unfamiliar sight of a white tiled ceiling. “Wh-Where am I?”
Colgate's face came into Berry's field of vision, “You’re in the hospital you crazy mare. You drank enough ale to kill a dozen stallions, passed out. Got right back up again, recited a very inspiring speech and then continued to drink with Broken Horn until he passed out under the table. Then we had to rush you to a hospital where the best doctors in Ponyville had to revive you. We were beginning to think we'd lost you, since you've been out for 3 days straight.”
“Oh…” Wow, three days of her life. Gone.
“Yeah…should probably apologize to Pinchy, you really scared her there."
"Scared all of us, actually." That was Blues voice, he was sitting on the other side of the hospital bed by the side table, reading one of the books that he must've took from the front desk (there were a lot of books on the side table actually),
"Yeah! Especially me! What was I gonna do if something happened to my best friend? Don't you ever scare me like that again!" Colgate said, her voice cracking ever so slightly. Had she been crying? Now Berry just felt like crap, she hated making her friends cry. Especially Colgate.
“Heh, well I am an idiot...sorry.” Berry muttered, trying to keep a low voice due to her pounding headache. Just like a hangover, actually it felt a little weaker than her usual hangover. Probably just a bit of rest and she’ll be right as rain.
“Everything’s fine now, your plan…SOMEHOW worked. And no one seems to have figured out that you spiked the drinks.” Blues informed her, not breaking his usual deadpan for a second.
“And…Broken Horn?”
Blues shuffled through the stack of letters on the table, “You passed out after he did. Congratulations, Queen Drinksalot. He left a note for you as well, as soon as I find-Ah here it is.” He read the note by the table aloud:
“Dear Ms. Berry Punch,
There are few beings, let alone ponies, who could match me on the field of competition. You have shown that you are a true master of the ale arts. Know that you are a friend to my clan forevermore, may you wear the title of Queen Drinksalot with honor and pride. You have earned it, honorable Berry Punch.
-Sincerely, Broken Horn
Berry breathed a sigh of relief, “I got my title back. Ha. A mare out-drank a minotaur. Bet you two don‘t know many ponies who can do that? Oh, and the town doesn‘t think I‘m a complete screw-up. Overall, I say things worked out pretty well.”
"Yeah. But seriously, don't ever do that again." Colgate said, mimicking Berry's authoritative tone.
"Okay, okay. I'll...try not to. I can't make any promises but, for what its worth...I'm sorry. That I'm a really stupid mare."
"You really are, Berry." Colgate ruffled her best friend's mane and stood up, "Well, I guess I should be going. You coming, bro?"
"Uh yeah, in a sec." He turned back to Berry, "You should probably rest for a bit longer, and then head out when you’re free.” He was about to go but Berry wrapped her tail around his. "On second thought, I think I'll...stay for a bit."
Colgate looked curiously at the two, unable to see that the two were wrapping tails from where she was standing. She narrowed her eyes and said in a completely straight voice, "These hospitals aren't sound proof you know." That earned her a pillow to the face. She used her magic to put it back behind Berry, fluffing it. "Seriously though, I'm glad you're okay." And with that, the blue mare took her leave of the hospital room. Leaving Blues and Berry alone at last. For a while, they just didn't say anything to each other.
"...I...should probably let you rest and, the band...they need me so-"
“Wait, I…kind of don’t feel like being alone right now. So…would you play me just one song on your saxophone? Least until I'm ready to go?”
Blues eyed the case he’d lugged along all throughout the night, then back to Berry. “Sure.”
Within moments, the room was filled with the soft, soothing melody of Blue’s saxophone. Just like old times, back when they were young. Berry felt her eyelids getting heavy, she really missed those days. She really missed this sound, and…this pony in particular. She remembered the muzzle brush they accidentally shared earlier, maybe it was the alcohol thinking.
"Howdy...
Yours truly,
The next letter had much more elegant handwriting that could only belong to someone like Rarity.
"I hope this letter finds you well,
Sincerely,
The next letter bore the unmistakable scent of a dentist's office.
"Dear Berry,
-Colgate."
Berry noticed faint wet spots on the letter.
The next letter had a similar elegant style to it as Rarity's, but unlike Rarity's which was fancy, this one was more practical. There was also a faint burnt smell?
"Dear Berry,
Your fellow pony and friend,
The next letter had a much more...official looking parchment with it. In addition, it bore the royal seal and-
"Dear Ms. Berry Punch,
{Princess Luna} "
Berry Punch sniffed as she poured over the many letters she had received over her 3 days of sleep. So many letters, many of them relaying memories of Berry Punch, others thanking her (and then apologizing) for the events of Nightmare Night. A couple of them were reprimands, but Berry took it as tough love. She never realized before, just how many ponies thought of her as a friend. It brought a tear to her eye. She didn't want Blues to see her like this, so she hid under the sheets. "Just...keep playing. Please?"
"Hm?" Blues leaned in closer, "What's up?"
"..." She pecked him on the cheek. Just a small, quick one, and then immediately hid under the covers again like an adolescent instead of the grown mare she actually was. She peeked over the covers, hiding her red cheeks. "...Just because I felt like it."
"...." Blues just stood there, completely stunned. He looked like he wanted to say something, he opened his mouth to speak-
But Berry hushed him with her hoof, she shook her head, "I need to think about a lot of things. So for now, let's just put that on hold until the time is right. I know I'm being selfish but..." She sighed, "I'd like to actually think before I leap for once in my life."
Blues smiled, and then nodded while continuing to play his saxophone. "Whenever you're ready, Berryshine." He used her real name, the one she'd left behind.
Berry didn't have all the answers. She didn't know what would happen with Blues either. Whether they'd become lovers someday, or if they were to stay as foalhood friends. Heck, Berry didn't know ANYTHING about how the future would turn out.
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The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 12: "This life has its ups and down, but it's my wonderful life."
She got back really late at night, carrying a sack of letters around her neck. She dropped the sack in the living room, intending to properly read and sort it all tomorrow. She noticed a dark figure illuminated by the moon's light in the kitchen.
Don't run from your mistakes.
Okay yes, she did try to cover up Drunk Berry's mistake, but at least she learned from it (and that lesson is don't let drunk berry handle important task)! Baby steps! Two out of three! Passing grade!
Roused from her sleep, Cheerilee's eyes drifted towards the softly smiling face of Berry Punch. Without warning, she threw her hooves around her sister. "You idiot." Cheerilee muttered under her breath, locking her sister in a tight embrace.
Berry could do nothing but pat Cheerilee on the back, "Sorry." Berry noticed that Cheerilee had been looking through albums of the two sisters during their foalhood days. There was one when the leaves started to fall, Nightmare Nights long past, Hearth Warming Eve celebrations, visiting relatives, daily adventures. Cheerilee had taken a sad and lonely trip down memory lane. Berry felt like crap for making her beloved older sister feel this way.
"...Berry."
"Yeah?" Berry opened the door to Cheerilee's room.
Cheerilee walked to her bed, turned to Cheerilee and said; "I'm glad you're home." And then fell on her bed, going straight back to sleep.
"I'm glad to be home as well." Berry shut the door to her sister's room, letting her sleep in peace. Well, that was painless. It wasn't over yet though; there was still one last stop she had to make.
She lingered in front of Pinchy's door, would the little filly be angry at her? Would she be glad she's home? Would she hate her for ruining nightmare night for her? Maybe this was a bad idea, could she handle a life where her daughter resented her? She sighed. Now or never, better to get it over with quickly. The door creaked open as Berry Punch looked into Pinchy’s room, seeing the little filly tucked peacefully away.
“Pinchy?” She silently called, but there was no answer. Like a ninja pony, she silently moved to her bedside. She sat next to her daughter, and stroked the filly's rose-colored mane with her muzzle.
“Mmmm.” Pinchy stirred, with a dazed look she stared into the eyes of her smiling mother.
“Sorry Pinchy. Mama‘s okay.” She said as she lovingly nuzzled the filly’s mane, tears welling up in her eyes. “Hey, hey, come on now. Don’t cry. Mama’s just fine, see?” She pulled away from Pinchy just a bit so she could see Berry’s smiling face. Berry frowned when she saw Pinchy’s tear stained face, puffy cheeks and red eyes, she’d been crying before, "Mama. You're crying too."
Berry raised a hoof to her eye, sure enough she was, "Yeah...I guess I am." Berry couldn't hold it in anymore, I'm so sorry, Pinchy." She said a little louder than she intended! Berry must’ve ruined her night. Stupid impulsive pony. She didn't deserve to be this filly's mother, she made the most important pony in her life shed tears because SHE wanted to hide her own mistakes rather than own up to it. She hated herself for that. Once again, she was unsure if she made the right decision. What's done is done...
Pinchy just hugged her mother tighter, "It's fine. Just...please don't go away again. I was so scared that you wouldn't come back! I-I was mean to you, and I broke our tradition and I..."
"Shhh, shhh, shhhhh." Berry hushed her little filly by lovingly stroking her mane, "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here when you need me, I promise. And I really mean it, this time. Pinkie Pie promise!" Berry wiped her own tears, then put a smile back on her face, “Now come on, smile for mama. Please?”
Pinchy tried her hardest to smile through the streaming tears, and then buried her face in her mother’s side again.
“There there. Tell mama about your night, you know…before I ruined it.”
“You never ruin anything, mama. I…I love you.” She said as she hugged her mother tighter.
Berry tried to fight back the tears that were reforming but this was a losing battle, “I love you too, Pinchy.” The two ponies just sat there for a while, hugging out their feelings. They talked for a bit, told stories until Pinchy started feeling tired again.
“Yes, Pinchy?”
“I love you.” She had said that a lot during their conversation, as if not saying it enough times would make Berry want to go away again.
“I love you too, Ruby Berry Pinch." She kissed the little filly on her forehead, "Now rest up, my little pony.” Berry said softly while closing the door. She felt…happy. For once in her life, she didn’t feel like a complete screw up. And she was very likely going to screw up again in the future, but she'd deal with those when they came. Right now, she knew the most important pony in her life loved her. And that was all that mattered to her. As long as Pinchy was safe and happy, Berry could live as the screw up. As long as she had Pinchy's love, Berry could go through this wonderful life of hers with a smile on her face.
~Fin
The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 1 "Dammit Drunk Berry!"
Beep
It starts with a beep, and then the soothing voice of Vinyl’s radio show rouses the Mulberry coated mare from her beautiful world of dreams.
“Rise and Shine, Ponyville, you’re listening to DJ-PON3 on Equestria Radio . I‘ve got a special guest for you today, some visitors from out of town. I have here, Broken Horn of Clan Vega visiting with some members of his clan. How're ya doing today, Mr. Horn?“
“I have a bit of a, what you ponies call a hangover from last night‘s welcoming party.”
“Oh my bad, do you want me to get you something to drink or-”
“No, no that’s quite alright. We minotaurs see the pain of our labors as badges of honor. At least, Clan Vega does. Besides, I had a great time amongst the pony folk. I didn‘t realize you had one who could drink so much.”
“You must be talking about Ponyville’s lovable own; Berry Punch. Yeah I heard about what happened at the Thunderbutt, wicked stuff bro. Real bummed I missed it though but you know…other job. So, I think the question on a lot of listener‘s mind are; "where are my keys" and "what brings a minotaur all the way out here to Ponyville?" The answer to one of those questions is: "Sorry Octi, I had to borrow them for...ya know, I think it's best if you don't know. They're on the kitchen counter. Haha...”
“Clan Vega has been interested in Pony culture for a very long time now, so I and several members of clan Vega decided to go on a pilgrimage across Equestria. We heard Ponyville was graced with the presence of Nightmare Moon-”
“Princess Luna.”
“Princess Luna, last year. And we couldn't pass up the chance to see Princess Luna. My son is quite the fan of her starry nights, he loves to compose symphonies under the night sky.”
“A musician minotaur, how 'bout that. Well it should be a fun night, hope you enjoy it, if there's one thing ponyville ponies know how to do; Its throw a kick-plot party. Alright folks, we’re gonna take a short intermission. So enjoy the soothing sounds of our favorite black feathered Gryphon musician, here with a new song. Don't say I never do anything for ya.”
The first thing she wanted to do, was go back to sleep, but the sudden sharp pain in her head was not about to let that happen. “Ugggh.” She felt sick, her stomach was revolting against her and her brain was already starting a violent uprising. “Please stop hurting…” She pleaded with herself. “Where am I?” She tried to get her pounding headache under control for just long enough to go through her checklist . “Let‘s see…I‘m in my own room, in my own bed.” Okay, that’s one check. So she wasn’t in somepony else’s house…invited or otherwise...again.LOOK like she had one of those nights, and it certainly didn’t feel like it either. She hasn’t had a night like that in years, still…never hurt to be sure.‘Bathroombathroombathroombathroom!’ She urged herself forward, feeling her stomach bubbling up for another round. 'Don’t mess up the sheets, Berry.' She hastily crawled out of bed, feeling a sudden sense of vertigo, fell, picked herself up again and tried dashing towards her bathroom. She rammed against the door, it made a loud BANG sound as she dived for the toilet.“Bllllluggggghhhh!”
‘Never again. I’ll never drink again.’ Somewhere inside, she knew just how empty that promise was. ‘I swear this time, I am done drinking. I swear, I‘m serious this time.’ Of course she was serious…just like she was serious 2 nights ago. Or the day before that. Or last week. Or the week before that. Or-BLLLUGGGGHHHH! ” She really did not want to look in the toilet longer than she had to. When did she eat peaches? SHE HATED PEACHES! WHO LET HER EAT PEACHES?!
“Berry?” A mare’s voice called to her from the entrance to her room. "Hm, it doesn't smell like vomit, sweat, tears, and shame today. Good work, Berry." She muttered under her breath.
“Just…peachy.” She choked out between vomit blasts.
Berry couldn’t see it, but she knew the mare was rolling her eyes. How did she know exactly? Because they’ve had this conversation so many times; Berry could just predict everything her older sister was going to say.“Did you have a fun night, Berry?” “Did you have a fun night, Berry?” One down.
Trying to remember the escapades of Drunk Berry was a task not unlike trying to read a foreign language...after being repeatedly hit with a table. Still, Berry's had practice with this so she could probably piece together how things went down before that one drunk that turned her into drunk Berry, “Oh you know, same ol’ same ol’. Someone wanted to take my title from me, and I had to prove why I’m Queen Drinksalot. I think I won…I might have started a brawl though. Can‘t really remember.” The events from last night were a complete blur, all she hoped was that Drunk Berry didn't do anything...too embarrassing.
“How many times have we gone through this Berry?” “How many times have we gone through this, Berry?” Two for two, on a roll today isn’t she?
“If I had a Bit for every time, I’d most likely be a very rich mare and wouldn’t have to rely on the generosity of my two-minutes older than me, twin sister, and beloved town school teacher, Cheerilee. Did I ever mention how much I really lo-BLLLUGGGGHHH! ”
“Well that’s all true, but really don’t you think you should drink a little less?” “….” Cheerilee was silent but she could feel the mare‘s eyes on her back. Well, two out of three ain’t bad. What was that like...a solid D grade? Or something? Whatever. Passing grade, she'll take it. “Are you gonna be okay for tonight?”
Berry felt a chill run up her spine. ‘Tonight?’ What was she supposed to do tonight? ‘Best play along.’ “Y-Yeah of course I’m good for-BLLLLUUUUGH! ”Thunderbutt diner (okay it was more like a bar and everyone called it a bar, but whatever).
“…You’ve forgotten haven’t you?”
“…” Lie or tell the truth? Well she’s already come this far, “No way! I totally remember. There’s no way I could ever forget something so important! Furthermore-”
“Tell me what it is.”
“…Beg your pardon?”
“Remind me what it is you’re supposed to do tonight?”
“Uh…” Berry wiped her muzzle clean with her fore hoof (not very sanitary), looked directly into her sister’s piercing glare and then choked out a half-flanked answer, “Oh well, tonight is somepony‘s annna-weddi-birrrrr…uh…somepony’s party?” She knew Cheerilee could see through her guilt-ridden smile.
Her glare softened a bit. Berry was on a roll today, “A party celebrating what?”
Aaaand there’s the wall, feel free to smack into it. “Ssssisterhooves social?” She choked out. A shot in the dark and…it was a complete miss.
Cheerilee facehoofed, “No, Berry Punch.” She said with a deep, disappointed sigh. Even as a grown mare, she always felt like crap whenever Cheerilee used that voice. That kind of voice that made her feel like Berry was such a screw up, “Tonight is Nightmare Night. You‘re supposed to bring refreshments to the party and help set things up later in the evening. You‘re also supposed to bring the candy to hand out to the nightmare nighters…have you even done that?”
She felt wounded. “O-Of course I have!” She could not stop lying today, “Sis, trust me. I promise you, on mom‘s grave, that I WILL make this a great nightmare night.”
“…Our mom’s still alive…”
“Grandma?”
“Still alive and kicking, she sent a postcard from the Griffin capital yesterday”
“Great grandma?”
Cheerilee pointed with her tail to a framed picture on the wall of an Older dark red Mare riding on the back of a large green and gold dragon with a snakelike body. “She was here last week with her traveling companion.”
“WELL REGARDLESS!” She threw her forehooves up in the air, “I said I was gonna do this, so I’m gonna do it right.”
Cheerilee did not look at all convinced, wouldn‘t be the first time Berry broke her word to Cheerilee. Or, probably half of ponyville.
Berry trotted forward and put a hoof on her sister’s shoulder, “Trust me, Cheerilee. I always keep my promises.” That was a bold-faced lie and she was telling it straight to her sister’s face. Her sister who, on more than one occasion, had been burned by Berry screwing up her promises.
“…Please tell me that’s not the same hoof you used to wipe the vomit.”
“NEVERMIND THAT! I‘m gonna go make some breakfast!”
“Please take a shower first!”
Author's Note
This really isn't my best work. It's a lot more light hearted than the grim dark stuff I usually write, but I do kind of like the way it turned out.
PS: I wonder if anyone got the "black feathered gryphon musican" reference?
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The Wonderful Life of Berry Punch
Ch. 2: "Umber Ale beats hangovers with a brick!"
“Sooo giggle at the ghosties~” That song had been stuck in Berry’s head for days. She blamed Pinkie Pie for that; Pinkie Pie was a great friend but she was probably the one responsible for the endless playlist of random songs stuck in her head. “Aaaand done.” Cupcakes for breakfast.
Pinchy entered the kitchen along with her aunt. Cheerilee took one look at the contents of the breakfast table, and rolled her eyes. 'Classic Berry.' is what Cheerilee must've been thinking. She did like cupcakes though and didn’t really complain as she took a bite of one, “…” Say whatever you want about Berry, she was still a pretty decent cook.
“Pinchy!” Berry immediately threw her forelegs around her adorable little pink unicorn filly. Pinchy struggled against her mother’s embrace as she tried to eat the cupcake. Her resistance only made Berry hug her more! “How’s my cute little filly doing today?”
“I just woke up mom…” Pinchy said as she levitated the cupcake in front of her face and took a graceful, cautious nibble on the edge. She smiled and took another bite.
“Do you have her lunch?” Cheerilee interjected, while taking another bite of the breakfast cupcake.
“Oh, yes. Of course I do.” She reached for a brown paper bag on the kitchen counter with her mouth and packed it in Pinchy’s saddlebag. ‘Mother of the year award is practically mine. Take that, Derpy Hooves!’
Cheerilee checked the contents of the bag, “This is a wrench.”
‘Okay runner up then. Close enough. You win this time, Derpy Hooves.’ Berry feigned surprise, “Now how did that get in there?” Berry said before hastily snatching the wrench out of the bag and tossing it out the open window.
“So are you excited about the Nightmare Night party?” Berry asked while taking a seat across the table from her beloved daughter and stick-in-the-mud older twin.
Pinchy nodded after finishing the last cupcake. She used her magic to levitate the empty tray and into the sink, along with the other dirty dishes. After that, Pinchy double-checked her saddlebag. “Oh!” She exclaimed in surprise, “I forgot my homework.” She raced out the kitchen like a bat out of Tartarus.
Cheerilee looked over to Berry, who was practically beaming at her daughter’s magical talent. “Did you finish her costume?”
2 seconds. That was how long it took for Berry’s wide smile to suddenly disappear. She remembered working on something a few nights ago…and then putting it off to get hammered. And then putting it off the night after that and then...ohhh, crap. Berry knew how this turned out.
Cheerilee opened her mouth to speak the obvious laundry list of evidence, but Berry’s hoof silenced her.
“Please don’t finish that sentence; I don’t think my self esteem could take the hit.”
Cheerilee rolled her eyes and sighed, “If it’s too much trouble; there’s no harm in asking for help.”
“No, no, no!” Berry waved her hooves in protest, “I can totally handle this!”
“…Really?” Cheerilee didn’t sound at all convinced. In fact, one might say she’d be more convinced if Berry told her that an alien race of multi-colored, hairless apes had landed in the middle of Ponyville speaking another language and brought forth gifts of science and super magic. Yes, even something as completely ridiculous as that was more believable than Berry telling Cheerile that she has everything under control. “Well…alright. You know you could always ask for help if you-”
“Pinchy!” Berry threw her hooves around her little filly again. “You’re always so adorable~”
“Please stop, mom…” Pinchy choked out, tapping her mother’s fore hoof with her own.
“Okay girls,” Cheerilee split them apart. “We’ve got a busy day today so, start marching!” Cheerilee said in an authoritative motherly tone while pointing out the door. The two ponies saluted and marched out the door after a: “Yes ma’am,” said in unison.
