Rainbow Dash Plays: Ponyfield 3

by cj204

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 996

Rainbow Dash plays an alternate universe version of Battlefield 3 and it's supposed to be funny or something.

Rainbow Dash and friends dive into the exciting world of Ponyfeild 3 the back of the box says "Like battlefield only with more horse butts" and Rainbow dash like horse butts. Like she really likes horse butts.

Warning not a serious Fic at all and should be treated as such. Remember comedy is subjective
In other words be gentle.
Warning: May also give you a disease.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-13 11:10:03 UTC

Ponies in kharg island

Rainbow Dash finally got home. She had just gotten Ponyfield 3 the newest installment in the series. Rainbow Dash never bought the other Ponyfield games, but all her friends bought it so Rainbow Dash had to. She got online and noticed Luna and Twilight were online. Rainbow Dash joined their party, to be greeted with a rather annoyingly loud twilight "WHAT UP NIGGA?"

To which Rainbow replied, "WHAT UP!!!!!???, you wanna play Ponyfield 3?"

"Yeah man we were just about to play some Rush " Twilight replied.

"Alright cool invite me." Rainbow Dash quickly got an invite. She accepted, the game started aaannnnndddddddd then Rainbow Dash was forced to wait for the game to download then she waited for the 1.5 gig install for better graphics. Then she started up the multilayer. "Can I  have another invite?" asked the slightly annoyed Rainbow Dash.

"What you mad bro? You gonna go rage quit life and kill yourself?"

"Do you want me to come over there and beat the fuck out of you?" Replied Rainbow Dash.

"No, I totally let you win last time anyway, the game and the fight IRL." Twilight sparkle tried to defend her self.

"whatever" Rainbow Dash muttered not trying to start another fight.

Twilight had been a faggot ever since she got turned into an alicorn, now all she talks about is world domination, unicorn supremacy and something about Germany in the 40's. Even before she was an alicorn she would burn horn shapes into Applejack's yard and send her letters telling her about how there is no God but all mighty Celestia and how Celestia only let's earth ponies reproduce because they can grow shit.

"Alright let's do this" Rainbow Dash said as the game started, she picked the scout class. 3 2 1 BEGIN. Rainbow Dash sat at the spawn trying to get the controls memorized. RB was knife?? The fuck is that? L3 is sprint like normal, ok Really LB is grenade? shouldn't that be flash? She pressed every button to see what it did. "Wow these controls are gay." The now quite angry Rainbow Dash stated.

"You're just mad because you think every game has to be like call of pony." Luna said.

Rainbow Dash was really sick of luna being a cunt. "You know what luna? If I were you I would kill myself knowing that my sister didn't love me enough so she sent me to the moon, and your parents were too drunk to stop her, If you don't just stop this game and kill yourself I would be disappointed, because I know the world would be better without an inbred retarded whore like you., Fucking stupid cunt."

Luna simply replied with a calm low voice, "After this game I'm sending you to the salt mines. Cunt."

"Do it faggot I dare you." was all Rainbow replied with.

Rainbow Dash ran up a hill and tried sniping. "Do the bullets drop or some shit?" Rainbow Dash fired and noticed the dirt flying up underneath her targets. She was not killing anything.

"Duh What do you think this is C.O.P? Get your shit together we're gonna lose." Twilight was obviously raging like a 'Faggot squeaker' as Dash would put it.

"Fine I'll switch to assault." Rainbow dash committed suicide. She spawned in a helicopter. "alright how do I fly this shit?" she asked hovering up a few feet. She moved the left stick slightly to the right and crashed to the ground.

"Nice job Rainbow crash." Said luna in an obnoxious tone.

She picked an LMG to see if she could get a few corner camp kills at least. She spotted an enemy and fired. The recoil was too much for her to compensate for, she damaged her enemy but he turned on Rainbow Dash and fired several rounds of an assault rifle, killing Rainbow Dash. "wow what is this LMG? Celestia's massive-jack hammer-pussy ruining Vibrator?" Rainbow Dash was not happy with this game so far.

She was about to go back to Game Stall and return it because she was an MLP (Major League Pony) and if a MLP has a 0.5 KD in the first 5 minutes something was wrong, and it wasn't her. "you know what guys, I think I'm gonna quite, this game is bullshit." Rainbow Dash said violently hitting her entertainment center that her TV was resting on.

"Wow way to rage quite like a little slut." Twilight mocked at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash wasn't one to quite.

"Fuck you you book whore I'll get a better KD then you this game." Retaliated Rainbow Dash.

To which Twilight replied "I doubt it."

Rainbow Dash tried one more vehicle just to see, she got in the jet. "You can't fly for shit get out." Twilight said trying to make Rainbow Dash mad.

"I'm the best flyer in equestria, now stop being celestias cum slut and go shoot stuff." Rainbow Dash took off with good control, she flew all the way up to the highest part of the map and hit the invisible wall. She pointed the nose down and started firing the machine gun and missiles. The kill feed was just a list of xxRainbows430xx killed-(enemies name) "SONIC RAINBOOM MOTHER FUCKERS" she yelled still getting all the kills, then she finished it off by crashing the plane into a tank.

They lost.

So Rainbow Dash got the most kills and did really good, but it was a rush game so she was next to useless. Luna was mad so she sent Rainbow Dash to the salt mine for 3 months. Twilight was crowned best pony during that time but when Rainbow Dash came back she was re-crowned best pony. Celestia took another shit and the team they were up against all died mysteriously from what the morgue is saying a new decease called Noobitus.

Another fucking retarded story and another happy day for Rainbow Dash "best pony".

THE END