A soft ringing filled the room and Celestia moaned slightly as sleep abandoned her. She rolled about in her bedcovers and yawned loudly as she dragged herself out of her silky blanket. She yawned once more as she stood up and started stretching, sighing in delight as her bones popped.
She turned her alarm clock off with a nudge of the hoof and cocked her head toward the door when she heard a knock. It was quiet and enthusiastic. She knew perfectly who came to visit her.
"It's open, Luna."
The door swung open with slightly more force than was strictly necessary, a sign that Luna had enjoyed her night. Celestia eyed lazily the door bump against the wall with a soft thud, before smiling at her sister as she closed it with a mere thought.
Her smile turned into a cringe and her teeth ground together when Luna greeted her with her royal voice. Her ears pounded, but Celestia was certain her sister was happy now.
Luna's eyes widened upon realization, and a faint blush tinted her cheeks as she apologized. Her voice was much softer, not unlike a night breeze, which Celestia guessed fit her like a charm.
"I'm happy you had a nice night," spoke Celestia with a slight yawn in her voice and a smile tugging at her lips. "I take it some ponies had pleasant dreams?"
Luna laughed musically, mischief sparkling in her eyes. "Certainly, sister."
Celestia knew that look by heart. "Somepony dreamed about me, didn't they?"
Luna nodded, a grin threatening to split her face in two. "A pony most devoted to you entertained very sensual thoughts."
A blizzard swept her resolve away, swathing it in ice as it struggled against the winds. "Most devoted?" she repeated softly, heartbeat rising in panic.
Laughter followed, though it sounded slightly embarrassed. "Do not fret, sister, it wasn't your student." Luna smiled wryly. "She was far too preoccupied with dreams of an ocean of books."
The weight settled down Celestia's stomach vanished and she heaved a long sigh of relief.
Luna's laugh went on undeterred and her mirth proved contagious. "Tell me Luna," she said with an innocent smile, "did you join any dream?"
The laughter died as Luna's mouth froze open and a deep blush filled her cheeks. "What? No! That would be most uncouth!"
Celestia's smile stretched to a knowing grin.
Luna tilted her head down, hiding her face behind her mane. "Just six times..." she muttered.
"Six ponies?" A corner of Celestia's mouth curled up. "And I only got one? I always knew you were the popular one."
Luna lifted her head, revealing cheeks an even darker shade of red. She opened her lips to say something but no word came out. She tried again, to no avail and to her sister's great amusement.
"Breakfast's ready!" she finally yelled before leaving the room in less time than Celestia needed to blink.
**********
Celestia's lungs swelled as she smelled the aromas floating about upon entering the room, and her heart appeared to follow suit. She trotted to her chair and sat down, pure anticipation turning her lips up.
A servant strode in from the kitchen and delicately set a tray down before her. She thanked him with a smile as he bowed, and turned her gaze to her breakfast when he left.
Waffles.
She loved them more than life itself.
Celestia picked up her cutlery with her magic and started cutting down her food to a more manageable size. She was tempted to forgo appearances and dig right into her meal, but she had more self-control than that. Not to mention it had taken her forever to remove the maple syrup from her mane the last time she indulged herself away from prying eyes.
Her mind trailed back to Twilight's latest letter as she munched thoughtfully. It affirmed that a true friend didn't hassle their friends about their secret crushes, as well as didn't spy on them or rummage through their belongings to learn the knowledge they were refused.
Celestia wondered idly whom of the Elements was guilty of such behavior, then decided it was a wise and necessary lesson if there ever was one. There was a reason she had stopped helping Cadence when she asked for help in searching something in her room back when she was a teenager, after all.
She shuddered at the memory.
She focused on her food, which proved much more savory. Her eyes glazed over slightly and her eyelids fluttered as she tasted a bite particularly rich in syrup. She then shook her head and pulled herself together, remembering perfectly that the last time she'd been caught behaving this way, newspapers had accused her to belong to a pleasure cult for months.
It hadn't been the first time and wouldn't be the last, but it had certainly been the most embarrassing to date.
She finished her waffles and levitated her smoothie to her lips; tea would be a waste after such a sugary meal. She tapped her lips with a napkin encased in her magic when she was done. She stood up and entered the kitchen the thank the cook, then left for her throne room, intent on savoring what little time remained before work assaulted her.
**********
Celestia sat regally on her throne, the muffled voices of impatient ponies fulminating behind the doors easily reaching her ears. She beckoned her chamberlain with a nod and a hoofwave.
"Count Superfluous of Manehattan!" she announced as she read off the scroll she drew open before her.
Celestia sighed inwardly. That pony was always a pain. But she always hoped for the best in everyone, it was entirely possible he had a legitimate grievance for once.
The doors opened just enough to let in one pony. An elegantly dressed earth pony entered and looked down the chamberlain before trotting to the middle of the room.
He didn't bow, something that wouldn't have bothered her in the slightest, except that she knew the count didn't only because he thought of himself much more highly than he actually should. She greeted her with a nod nevertheless.
"Hello, count. What owes me the pleasure?"
"I came here to demand you to stop something simply unacceptable!" he bellowed, and she noticed distinctly her chamberlain rolling her eyes.
Celestia forced a smile. "Like every time, count. What is it this time?"
A vain smirk stretched Superfluous lips, showing to all he believed he fully controlled the situation. He puffed his chest proudly before speaking. "I'm here to tear down the intolerable Apple monopoly!"
Celestia tuned his spiel out.
The Apple family was mostly honest, and never hesitated to come down on the less scrupulous members of their family, even before one of them proved to be the Element of Honesty. She also had measures in place to prevent abuse, and if that didn't stop the count, she knew something that would.
As Superfluous kept ranting, spraying spit everywhere, her mind strayed to the palace's garden of statues. It had been a long time since she last chiseled. She did have some spare time, after all, however short it was. Maybe she should sculpt a statue of her cook. These waffles had been divine.
Heavy breathing indicated the count's diatribe was over, and she made a show to tap her chin thoughtfully. "Maybe I should do something against monopolies."
Superfluous smirked, triumphant and as humble as an emperor.
She linked her forehooves together and leaned in. "By the way, don't you have a monopoly by proxy on sofas through Quills and Sofas, Sofas and Bowling Balls, Couches & Pouches, Living Room Furniture Inc. and Ye Old Soffa?"
Superfluous' jaw hung open as sweat beaded on his forehead. No words came out for a full minute before he spoke. "T-that's a lie!"
"Chamberlain, bring me the evidence."
The count blanched. "Sorry to have wasted your time," he squeaked before turning tail and running out.
Musical laughter followed him all the way to the entrance.
**********
Several hours had passed and Celestia's head pounded as she asked her chamberlain to invite in the next pony.
"Baron Clueless from Cloudsdale!"
A pegasus with a monocle walked in and bowed before Celestia. "Your majesty."
Celestia nodded in respect and remained polite though fatigue and frustration teamed up against her mind. "Hello, baron. What do you wish?"
He righted himself before speaking. "I dare to believe I have an idea that will make Equestria more... just."
Celestia leaned her head closer, listening attentively.
"Pegasi control the weather, earth ponies farm the lands, you raise the sun and your sister raises the moon. Unicorns aren't doing anything productive, so they should be taxed more!"
Celestia's jaw dropped and her neck slumped on her shoulders as she stared at him, a most unregal reaction she reserved for the most ridiculous propositions. She had honestly believed such mindsets were relics of the past, but Clueless had proven her wrong. He grinned, obviously thinking his brilliant idea was the cause of the silence. Seconds stretched to minutes and his smile faltered as Celestia remained utterly still.
"Princess?"
Such an affront to everything she and Equestria stood for deserved a long, exhaustive rebuttal.
"Get out."
**********
After setting the sun, Celestia magically pulled her door open and stepped inside her bedroom. She heaved a long, relieving sigh as she finally allowed the stress of the day to take its toll on both her body and mind.
She opened her eyes to survey her room. They tiredly drifted from one side to another; her flowering potted plant to the left, her blue-hued banner, her fireplace, the Element of Loyalty leaning seductively against the long, golden bolster on her mattress with a thornless rose in her mouth, her closed window, her rarely used desk covered with quills, inkwells and stacks of parchments...
Wait, wait, what?
Celestia whipped her head back toward her bed, her lower jaw swerving to the side before dropping slightly as she stared blankly at the pegasus.
Rainbow Dash merely winked and breathed a low purr.
Celestia just stared further.
Then she shut her door with her magic, locking it in the motion with an audible click, and trotted closer, one sole thought in her mind as she willed the curtains closed.
Oh, why the hay not?