Concerning Humans

by The Lunar Samurai

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Lyra, Comedy
Length: 1034

After Lyra discovers that a portal to the human realm exists, she sends a series of letters to Twilight Sparkle.

After Lyra discovers that a portal to the human realm exists, she sends a series of letters to Twilight Sparkle.

Published 2013-10-31 00:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-31 00:40:04 UTC

Correspondence

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I have heard some ponies talking about a recent visit you had with another dimension, a dimension populated by creatures that look very dissimilar to those that live in equestria. I am writing to you to get the true story, not some hearsay about the matter. I wish to be able to ensure that false and semi false stories can be put to rest.
Regards, Lyra Heartstrings.

Dear Lyra Heartstrings

My excursion at the castle was to remain a secret, as it does involve several points of information that are still classified. Unfortunately, pinkie promises don’t always keep ponies from dropping small tidbits of information here and there. What I can tell you is probably what you have already heard from some. I was teleported via mirror to another dimension with creatures known as humans. I myself actually took on the form of these humans as well, with small arms that protruded from where my hoof had once been. Society was completely different there, but I cannot tell you why I was there. Hope this answered your questions.
Signed, Twilight Sparkle.

Dear Twilight

I knew it! They do exist! I can barely write at this news. All my life I have believed humans have existed, but no pony believed me. But now, after all this waiting, I have a chance to be one myself. Inclosed in this envelope is a blank check with my name on it. Write down whatever sum you wish and I will pay it. This is payment for my transfer into the realm of the humans.
Regards, Lyra

Dear Lyra Heartstrings

I understand your enthusiasm to see and experience a new world such as this one. However, I am unable to complete your request. Interdimensional travel is not something you can just up and pay for in that manner. I am returning your check with this letter. Spike has a nasty habit of going through my mail and taking birthday money.
Signed, Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight

I can not believe the audacity of your last letter. I have not waited all of my life for this opportunity just to have you deny me my one dream in life. I beg you to let me go to the realm of the humans, to let me live among those whom I have wished to see for all of my life. I will take the risk, I will pay the price, I will accept a one way ticket to the land of the humans. I have never asked you for anything like this before, and if you grant me my wish, I never will again. The only thing I have ever wanted, stripped from my hooves the moment it becomes a reality. What a cruel trick to play.
Regards, Lyra

Dear Lyra,

Do not get me wrong, I completely understand your burning passion to go to the realm of the humans, but that is simply out of the question. Please, save yourself the bits and do not send another message. It is not beneficial for either party at the moment. I wish you the best for whatever life has to offer you.
Signed, Twilight Sparkle.

---Two weeks later---

Dear Twilight,

I am writing this letter from the train station outside canterlot palace. I used most of my life’s savings to get to this point, and am prepared to use the rest to give to you in payment. I eagerly await your arrival.
Regards, Lyra

Dear Lyra Heartstrings,

Are you insane! I told you I can not help you any further. This whole ordeal is ridiculous. I admire your persistence, but this is absurd. Enclosed in this letter is a ticket for a return trip to ponyville. Please take the train back to the city. Also, Bon Bon severely misses you, she requests that you return immediately. The rest of the city is up in arms as well, you disappeared like you were running from the plague.
Signed, Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight,

The ticket accidentally caught on fire. Please escort me to the land of the humans.
Signed, Lyra

Dear Lyra Heartstrings,

I CAN NOT LET YOU GO TO THE HUMAN REALM. Why can you not understand that simple fact? If you do not leave Canterlot castle at once I will be forced to send guards to seize you.
Signed, Twilight

Dear Twilight,

Your guards accidentally caught on fire. Take me to the humans. This is the last correspondence I will have with you before I am with the humans.
Signed, Lyra

Dear Lyra Heartstrings,

I hate to do this, but you are now considered a fugitive. Surrender yourself to the guards or you will be jailed for a length of time that would make Celetia cringe.
Signed, Twilight

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

I have made it into the realm of the humans. I pinned this letter in the darkness of the storage room beside the chamber that houses the mirror that leads to the realm of the humans. Entering the castle was easy enough, my skill with lockpicks as tools and weapons was very helpful in infiltrating the portal room. I have seen secrets that nopony should know about, not even the princess, but do not worry, they are safe with me. I now have everything I could have ever wanted at a price easily payable. I thank you for your assistance, or lack thereof, for getting through the portal and into the world of my dreams. I will never forget you or what you did for me. You may have some rather messy cleanup from the resistance that one guard gave me in the hallway. I recommend using a vacuum to pick up most of the pieces of confetti that Pinkies Party Cannon blasted all over the place. The structural integrity of the building shouldn’t have been compromised from a few dozen pillars collapsing after that nasty engagement so you should be fine.

P.S. This was written with one of the royal quills I nabbed from Celestia’s desk while she wasn’t looking. I have included it in this letter as a present. I know how much you enjoy things like that.
Signed, for the last time, Lyra Heartstrings