Trixie counted out her bits one last time, then consulted the list on her clipboard. Only ten of the eleven ponies that had signed up for the class had actually showed up, but that was no fur off her muzzle. If this 'P. L.' wanted to waste her money on a class she didn't intend to take, that was fine by her. It only meant less work.
She turned to the ponies gathered in the room. Most of them were middle-aged mares and stallions, but a single filly fidgeted on the near left. She adjusted her new black belt to fit, flashed a grin and reared up. "Welcome, fillies and gentlecolts, to the most magnificent dojo in all of Canterlot! Today, the Great and Powerful Trixie will be demonstrating the basics of the spiritual martial arts for your benefit."
She dropped back to the stage, and ran her gaze over the assembled class. "For your first lesson, Trixie will teach you to channel your inner energies." She drew in her breath. "Do as Trixie does."
She touched a hoof to her forehead, screwed up her face in concentration and began to hum loudly. A few seconds later, the class followed suit, not bothering to question her orders. She smiled to herself. She always loved a good crowd.
Five minutes later, she heard the front door open, and lowered her hoof. Her face became annoyed. "Trixie does not accept walk-ins. Shoo."
The deep voice that boomed back at her made her jump. "We must apologize for our tardiness, Miss Lulamoon."
She looked up from the crowd, and her eyes bulged. An indigo alicorn mare stood at the door, her star-spangled mane fluttering in a nonexistent breeze. Several ponies twisted to gawk at her, a few even gasping. "We became enraptured by a particularly engaging book, and were not keeping good track of the time. We hope We have not inconvenienced you in any way."
Princess Luna ambled over to the crowd and lowered her head to the filly's ear. "Pardon, but would you inform Us of what we are doing?"
The filly blinked, looked behind her and smiled. "We're focusing our spirit energy."
Luna smiled back. "Ah. That sounds most delightful."
The filly returned to her focusing, and Luna joined in behind her. A bead of sweat ran down Trixie's forehead, and she looked away. She took a step back, tugging at her collar. "You are all doing adequately. There has been a disturbance, and Trixie must excuse herself for a moment to, er… reattune herself with the spiritual… spirit."
She ducked into her office and slammed the door behind her. What was she going to do? She had the whole lesson planned out and the class under control, until Luna had shown up. In hindsight, perhaps she should have recognized her initials on the sign-up sheet. She was teaching in Canterlot, after all.
She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. She'd just have to go on with the lesson, and hope she continued to be as pliable as she had been so far.
Trixie opened the door, conjured a small cloud of smoke for effect and stepped outside. She coughed, and returned to the stage. The students continued to hum. She raised a hoof, and forced a smile. "You have all done most adequately. But channeling your spirit energies is only part of the lesson, of course."
The students quieted their humming, and stared, excitement on their faces. She ambled over to a wooden chest laid against one side of the room, and retrieved two pallettes, two cans of white paint and eleven peanut rollers. Their faces turned to confusion as she passed out a roller to each, and set the paint cans down on the stage.
She tried to smile. "In order to, err… connect with your inner energies, you must practice. Take these rollers, and paint, Trixie's students."
They continued to stare. The filly put down her roller, and cocked her head. "How come we gotta paint your studio?"
Trixie's shoulder twitched. "Don't ask stupid questions. It's obvious to everypony else here why, isn't it?" They continued to stare. Trixie sighed. "It is very simple. Before you can learn to be the roller, you must first become the paint."
She popped open a paint can and poured half into each pallete, then stepped back. The ponies snapped out of their staring and took their turns dipping their rollers, then began to paint the walls. She smiled to herself, genuinely this time, and watched them work. She had expected Luna to be more skeptical than this.
Luna turned to the unicorn mare next to her as she painted. "We once attempted to become a book, you know."
The mare blinked, and looked at her sidelong. "And what happened, Your Majesty?"
She winced, and looked back at the wall. "Let us say that the Canterlot Library's Starswirl Wing is not the original, and leave it at that." She sighed. "We doubt if Tia will ever let Us forget it."
Her 'dojo' was small, only slightly larger than the store next door, and the painting went quickly. When they were done, she had them set the tools on the floor on one side of the room. She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Things could be going far worse.
She turned to face the class again. "Well, Trixie is satisfied with your performance. Trixie thinks you are ready for the last part of the class. Trixie wants you to reach into your spirit energies, and try to use them. Trixie asks you to stomp once when you feel focused."
They shifted on their hooves, some of them smiling nervously. Luna grinned from cheek to cheek, shut her eyes, and began to hum again. Trixie sighed, and prepared a weak quaking spell. She had to make their "release of energies" authentic, after all.
She waited for the collective stomp, but it never came. Instead, the room shook. She glanced up to see Luna's horn aglow, her face contorted. The rollers clattered against the hardwood floor, and spare paint sloshed in its pallete. Trixie's eyes widened. She threw herself to the floor and covered her head. A minute later, the other students seemed to notice, and began to back away from her.
Five minutes later, the walls groaned in protest and the roof began to buckle. Trixie shut her eyes.
A series of splintering noises, cracks and thuds followed. Debris pelted her back and rear. A few of the students groaned. Another minute, and she heard birds chirping. She opened her eyes to see Luna half-buried in a pile of plaster rubble, slightly bruised but otherwise unharmed, a hummingbird perched atop her head.
She smiled broadly. "We must know when you intend to hold this class again. We found it most invigorating!"
Trixie groaned, and lifted her head slightly. "Trixie thinks that perhaps she will return to stage magic… ."
