What Doesn't Kill You

by spigo

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1893

In the middle of the night, Rainbow Dash breaks down Twilight's door and invites her to a hockey game. Twilight soon finds out she's in for more than she bargained for.

In the middle of the night, Rainbow Dash breaks down Twilight's door and invites her to a hockey game. Twilight soon finds out she's in for more than she bargained for.

Written for One-Shotober.

Published 2013-11-01 00:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-01 00:40:01 UTC

That Sounds Violent

Twilight hunched over her book, blissfully unaware of a distant-but-growing whining sound, and turned the page. Whatever bizarre pose this lovestruck couple was attempting, she was certain it wasn't anatomically possible and that, even if it were, she wouldn't be interested in reading about it.

She slammed the book shut, and grabbed her dog-eared copy of Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone from her private shelf upstairs. She'd take no more book recommendations from Rarity — that much was certain.

Before she could finish reading the first paragraph, however, a loud smashing sound brought her attention upward. Rainbow Dash stood in the wreckage of the door wearing a sheepish grin, the night sky peeking out from behind her.

"Uh, hey, Twi." She glanced over her shoulder. "Sorry about your door. I was kinda in a rush."

Twilight sighed, and got up from her chair. "It's fine, Rainbow. What is it this time?"

"Well, I was going to an Avengers game with Fluttershy tomorrow, but she's got some crazy animal thing that came up, and she's gonna have to stay in a cave with a hungry bear for a couple nights. Sooo, I was wondering if you had any plans for, oh, around eleven-ish?"

Twilight furrowed her brow, and lifted her schedule off the table. "Let me see. Eleven, I'm going to take Spike to see Colgate… ."

Rainbow Dash blinked. "Wow, she's open that late?"

Twilight gaped a moment. "Oh, oh." She glanced over the list a second time. "In that case, I'll have to move some things around, but I think I can make it."

"Great!" She grinned. "So, I'll see you tomorrow night at, like, ten forty-five?"

Twilight smiled and nodded, then stepped back toward her chair. Before she could sit down, though, Rainbow Dash swept her up in a bone-crushing hug. "Thanks, Twi! It means a lot to me!"

After several minutes and following concerns about her blood circulation, Twilight nudged her friend in the chest. Rainbow Dash dropped her, looking slightly embarrassed. "Sorry."

Twilight couldn't help but grin. "See you tomorrow night, then."

"Right, see you later!"

With that, Rainbow Dash vanished out the door as quickly as she'd arrived.

Twilight returned to her chair. Maybe now she could get some reading done. She picked up the book and smiled. Her smile faded just a little bit when a draft from the hole in the wall reminded her of the newly missing door.

She shook her head, and got up again just in time for Fluttershy to pop through the door, an alarmed expression on her face. She cantered into the room and halted just short of the table, glancing around as if looking for somepony.

After a few moments, she seemed satisfied, looked at Twilight and sighed. "Oh, good. I'm not too late." She bit her lip and she glanced over at the door. "Twilight, um, I'm sorry I didn't knock. The door."

"Too late for what? Fluttershy, what's wrong?"

She took a deep breath. "Rainbow Dash is coming very soon, and she's going to invite you to a hockey game. And…" she hesitated, "you need to say no."

Twilight blinked. "Umm… Fluttershy?"

She glanced up at Twilight. "Yes?"

"She already came."

"Oh. Oh." She stared at her hooves. "I'm sorry, Twilight. I should have flown faster."

"What exactly is so terrible about me going to a hockey game with Rainbow Dash?"

Fluttershy paused, and stared at her hooves. "How much do you know about hockey?"

Twilight thought back as far as she could. She knew she'd read a book about Equestrian sports that covered it once. Unfortunately, her memories weren't quite coming out in full color. She'd have to stall for time. "Umm… ."

Fluttershy looked hopeful. After a long five minutes, Twilight smiled. "It's like ice skating, right?"

Fluttershy's face fell. "Um… no. No, not exactly. But, um, you're close." She took another deep breath. "There are some things you should know. Don't ask to go get snacks."

Twilight squinted at that one, but continued listening.

"Don't insult the Cloudsdale Avengers."

Twilight had to restrain herself to keep from rolling her eyes.

"And whatever you do, do not sit in Row 1408."

Twilight blinked. "What?"

Fluttershy blinked in turn, and screwed up her face in concentration for a moment. "Oh, I'm sorry. That's something else." She shuffled her hooves for a moment. "Whatever you do, do not borrow popcorn from Rainbow Dash."

"What?"

Fluttershy's expression became grave. "That's a really important one. Please, please, please don't break it."

She gaped at Fluttershy for a moment, then nodded. "Um, okay… I'll try to keep those in mind, Fluttershy." She paused. "What happened to the thing with the bears?"

Fluttershy's expression became alarmed again, and she ran for the door. "Oh, shoot! I'm sorry, Twilight, I have to go." She hesitated at the door for just a second. "I'll see you soon… um, I hope."

Twilight stood in the doorway and waved goodbye, her face painted with bemusement. She wondered for a moment what she'd gotten herself into, then shook herself and returned to her book.

"Twilight? Do I really have to go to Colgate's tomorrow?"

Twilight groaned, and slammed her head against the table. "Spike, go to bed!"

Twilight glanced into the chaotic melee in the ice rink below them as she and Rainbow Dash made their way to their seats in Ponyville Arena. "Rainbow, remind me one more time why we left so late?"

She rolled her eyes. "Because it's all boring stuff in the first, like, three minutes. They're always just, like, passing the puck and stuff."

"But… isn't that the whole point of the game?"

Rainbow Dash threw herself into a well-worn rink-side seat, and it squeaked as if it might collapse if it had to deal with this particular repeat customer one more time. "Hay, no."

Twilight blinked as she settled into an equally beaten seat beside her, and fidgeted. A spring poked her in the rump. It was difficult to get comfortable. "Then what is?"

She grinned, and stuffed a hoofful of popcorn into her mouth, bits spraying from her mouth as she talked. "Watching a bunch of grown stallions beat the crap out of each other, duh!"

Twilight shook her head, and took a moment to survey the field again. It hadn't changed much since they'd entered, and she wasn't any closer to deciphering the flailing mass of sticks, ponies, and sports equipment that was the game as Rainbow saw it. As far as she could tell, nopony on either team was particularly interested in the goals. A tooth flew over the barrier and past her head, landing in a stallion's popcorn bucket behind her. He hardly seemed to care.

Rainbow Dash's wings twitched and fluttered as she watched the writhing mess below, mad glee warping her face. "Kill him, Ice Slasher! Kill him!"

Twilight coughed into her hoof, and pointed toward the puck on the other side of the field. "Um, what's that?"

Rainbow Dash sighed and glanced at her. "That's the part nopony cares about." She returned to staring at the melee, shouting taunts and bloody encouragements into the crowd.

Twilight glanced around the stadium, but could see no scoreboard. "How do you know what the score is?"

"Oh, that's easy."

Twilight waited for the explanation, but she didn't give one. She nudged her after several moments of silence. "Rainbow?"

She started and blinked. "Oh, right. Well, it's easy. You just count how many teeth your guys have left, and that's your score."

Twilight was pretty sure that wasn't how it worked, but sighed, and settled back into her seat. She glanced at one of the towering stallions standing at either side of the rink. Either one could have made the Royal Guard easily. "So, those ponies… they're like cheerleaders, right?"

Rainbow Dash snorted and choked, having inhaled a few loose kernels of popcorn from her bucket. After a moment, she managed to loose them on the ponies sitting in the row in front of them. "What, no! They're like… well, boring. I mean, I can't even remember the last time they really got to slug somepony. They're like, uh…" she screwed her face up as she tried to remember the game's actual rules, "I think they're supposed to guard the goal or something."

"Like how?"

"Like, I guess they punch ponies in the face? Or maybe they punch the puck in the face? Anyway, it doesn't matter, 'cause nopony ever goes for the puck anyway."

Twilight sighed.

Her stomach growled a minute later. "I'm going to go get snacks."

Her friend's head shot up, and she blocked Twilight from getting up a forearm. "What? No! You can't, you're gonna miss the fun part!"

Twilight shook her head, and watched the crowd of players below. It was almost sort of fun, in a way… if she thought about it, it could be a really good way to teach anatomy, with all of the body parts broken or flying through the air. Dental anatomy, she decided.

After several minutes, her stomach growled again, and she glanced over at her friend's bucket. She was still completely enraptured by the bloody battle going on below, judging by her face. Twilight hesitated. Surely she wouldn't react that badly.

"Rainbow Dash, could I please borrow some popcorn?"

Fluttershy glanced at the door to the hospital room, then back to Doctor Stable. "Um, it isn't serious, is it? I mean… Twilight's going to be all right, right?"

He sighed. "Yes, she'll be fine, but she's going to have to stay in the hospital for a few days. She's got a few broken bones, and some bruising, but she'll live." He hesitated, and glanced at his clipboard. "Ms. Fluttershy, I'm sorry, but I have to ask. Does your friend have a history of mental illness?"

"Um… what exactly do you mean?"

"Any traumatic incidents she might've had in the past? Psychological issues?"

She hesitated. "That sounds violent. I don't think Twilight would get involved in anything like that."

Nurse Redheart banged her head on the wall behind him, then mimed a circle around her head with one hoof. "Is she whacked in the head?"

Doctor Stable scowled at her, but said nothing. Fluttershy gasped. "Oh, no, no, nothing like that. I mean, she's had, um… problems, but she's not, well… not like that."

Doctor Stable shook his head. "Well, that's everything." He gestured for the door. "You can go visit her now. I imagine she could use a friend right now."

She nodded, and stepped into the room. Twilight lay on her metal bed, covered in enough bandages that she wouldn't have had to dress up for Nightmare Night at all if she'd been feeling better. Rainbow Dash sat on a stool beside her, ears drooping and murmuring something under her breath.

Something clicked in Fluttershy's brain, and she dashed across the room to stand beside her friend. "I'm sorry, Twilight. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry… ."

She could hear Dash now. "I didn't mean it, oh my gosh I didn't mean it, oh my gosh, oh my gosh… ."

Twilight groaned, and slammed her skull against the wire headboard. It was going to be a long hospital stay.