Snips, Snails, 'n Spikey

by Twinkletail

Rating: everyone
Tags: Snails, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Snips
Length: 1379

Snips, Snails, and Spike have a deal for the other young ponies of Ponyville.

The ponies from Cheerilee's class have been gathered together in the playground for a big event, but they don't know what is going to happen. Luckily for them, they're about to be offered the deal of a lifetime.

Written for One-Shotober.

Published 2013-10-31 20:10:05 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-31 20:10:05 UTC

Chapter 1

The clock struck 3:00, and all the students of Miss Cheerilee's class bolted out the door.

This, in itself, was normal. Everypony was always happy to get out of class and run off to have fun. The thing that made today different, however, was that all the little ponies rushed to the playground instead of heading home.

"What are we even doing here?" Diamond Tiara asked, frowning. "What's this stupid thing that we're supposed to gather here for?"

"Hay now, it might not be stupid!" Apple Bloom responded. She didn't have a clue what was going on either, but she wasn't a big fan of Diamond Tiara in general, and disagreeing with her felt like the right thing to do.

"Oh yeah?" Diamond Tiara asked, stepping up so she was nose-to-nose with Apple Bloom. "What do you know about this?" Apple Bloom was quickly flanked by Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, while Silver Spoon moved up to back up Diamond Tiara.

"Nothing!" Apple Bloom retorted, refusing to back down. "But it ain't fair to say it's dumb when you don't even know what's going on!"

"...Does anypony know what this is all about?" Sweetie Belle asked. The five fillies involved in the staredown looked around at their other classmates. Twist shrugged her shoulders. Ruby Pinch and Noi shook their heads. Sunny Daze and Peachie Pie looked clueless, and Truffle Shuffle had a look of confusion on his face.

"I bet I know!" Pipsqueak shouted, waving his cardboard sword about. "We're all gonna join a pirate crew and sail the seven seas, we are!"

Everypony ignored Pipsqueak.He'd been coming into school in that pirate costume since last Nightmare Night.

Nopony in the group truly knew what they were here for. They'd each received a personal invitation on their desks at the beginning of the day, but no information had been given on it, other than the time and place of the meeting. The only other thing on it was a little logo that read "SSnS," and that didn't provide anypony with any information they could use. The invitations had been the talk of the classroom that day, with a lot of ponies saying that they were just going to go home and ignore it. Yet here they all were, intrigue apparently having gotten the best of them.

Before anypony could discuss the situation further, their attention was drawn to the arrival of a big cart. The cart was covered by a sheet and seemed to move on its own, although it was very possible that the two pony-looking lumps near the front of it were pulling it. The cart came to a stop in front of the group of young ponies. Any conversations between the ponies halted as they stared at the cart, wondering what would pop out of it.

The sheet was thrown off of the cart in one quick motion. Everypony jockeyed for position, trying to get the best view of the now-uncovered cart.

"Welcome, everypony!" Snips shouted, as Snails tried his best to get untangled from the thrown sheet. "We're glad you all came!"

"Yeah!" Snails said, as Spike helped to get him untangled. "Real glad!"

"Uh, right!" Spike said, looking a bit unsure. "Hi, I guess!"

The crowd of little ponies began to murmur.

"Uh...guys?" Scootaloo said, tilting her head. "What the hay is going on? And Spike? When did you start hanging out with Snips and Snails?"

"Twilight said I should get out more," Spike said, smiling awkwardly. "You know, friendship is magic and all that jazz."

"Right! Friendship IS magic!" Snips said proudly. "And Snips, Snails, and Spikey are here to provide all of you friends with the greatest deal you'll ever get!"

"Heh...yeah! Deal!" Snails repeated. A few little groans emanated from the crowd of little ponies.

"You got a deal for us?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Is this just going to be a big waste of time?" Silver Spoon added,

:"Blimey! Are we gonna ride the seas and keelhaul all those who oppose us?" Pipsqueak asked, swinging his sword frantically about.

"Yes, no, aaaaaand maybe!" Snips responded. "Tell me, have any of you ever wondered what it would be like to jump to the moon?"

"YES!" Twist shouted. "I wonder that all the time!"

"Excellent!" Snips said. "I love your enthusiasm! Now, what would you do if I told you that the three of us could make you be able to jump all the way to the moon?"

"I'd say you were a big fat liar!" Diamond Tiara yelled out. Silver Spoon laughed, while the Cutie Mark Crusaders gave her a glare.

"I can assure you all that I'm not lying!" Snips said with a smirk. "Because we here at Snips, Snails, and Spikey Designs have come up with an invention so amazing, you'll flip your lids!"

"Uh...ponies don't have lids, Snips," Snails said, head tilted. "Unless it's, like, a mix of a pony and a jar or something."

"It's an expression, Snails," Spike said, rolling his eyes. "It means that they'll all be really surprised!"

"And they will!" Snips said. "Because we can outfit them with their very own...Moon Shoes!" Snips eagerly reached into the cart and pulled out a set of what must have been Moon Shoes, although they looked much more like coffee cans with spacey designs painted on them.

"Oh, give me a break!" Diamond Tiara called out. "You really expect us to fall for this?"

"No, we expect you to be astonished!" Snips said cheerfully. "Watch, as our friend Spike equips his Moon Shoes and leaps high into the air!" Snips tossed the shoes to Spike, who seemed a bit reluctant before putting them on his feet. He took a few steps back, standing behind the cart.

"Watch this fail, you guys," Silver Spoon said, grinning. "There's no way he'll be able to..."

Silver Spoon was interrupted by Snips and Snails both taking a huge jump, landing on either side of Spike. The crowd then watched in amazement as Spike leaped high into the air, towards the nearest tree. The baby dragon looked confident, until he hit his head on a tree branch. He slumped onto the next branch down and gave a weary thumbs-up to the now-impressed crowd.

"You were saying?" Snips said, giving Silver Spoon a wink. He then turned to address the whole crowd, which was now rapt with amazement. "These amazing Moon Shoes can be yours for the low, low price of five bits!" The young ponies stood there for a few moments before crowding the cart.

"Just make sure not to put them on until we leave!" Spike said as he climbed down from the tree. "They take a little while to get comfortable with their new owners!" The young ponies all nodded eagerly. Each one paid up, and each one was given a set of Moon Shoes by Snails. The excitement between the classmates was palpable as they each tried their shoes on.

"I'm so glad we could satisfy all of you wonderful customers!" Snips said as Snails and Spike tossed the sheet back over the wagon. "We should really get going! Enjoy your wonderful Moon Shoes, and don't forget, that's a Snips, Snails, and Spikey invention!" With that, the group of three began to pull the cart away.

"We got enough for the jawbreakers, right?" Snails asked. Snips and Spike nodded happily.

"We'll have jawbreakers for days!" Snips cheered. "We just have to get away from the playground before anypony tries to..."

"These don't work!!" Sweetie Belle's voice rang out. Snips, Snails, and Spike froze in their tracks.

"Yeah, what gives?" Scootaloo asked angrily. "They don't do anything!"

"Hay, check this out!" Apple Bloom said. "They had this big catapult thing behind their cart! That musta been how Spike jumped so high!"

"Why didn't you pack the catapult back up?" Snips asked Spike through gritted teeth.

"That was Snails' job!" Spike insisted. "I was just supposed to jump, come down, and be done!"

"Uh...whoops," Snails said. The three looked at each other.

"Think we can beat an angry mob to the candy store?" Snips asked. He didn't have time to answer, as Snails and Spike grabbed him and forced him to run from the group of ripped-off little ponies.