Ow, Spine!

by spigo

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Pinkie Pie
Length: 1117

While attempting a transfiguration spell, Twilight accidentally transforms herself into a porcupine, and decides to send a letter to Celestia for help. She wasn't expecting Pinkie to show up.

While attempting a transfiguration spell, Twilight accidentally transforms herself into a porcupine, and decides to send a letter to Celestia for help. She wasn't expecting Pinkie to show up.

Written for One-Shotober.

Published 2013-10-31 23:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-31 23:10:02 UTC

I Hate It When That Happens

Twilight paced the library floor, gnawing on her lip and occasionally glancing up at the door. So far, the day hadn't been going so well. She'd woken up late, she'd miscast a spell, they were out of paper, and she hadn't even managed to aim her spell properly.

That it had turned her into a porcupine wasn't helping, either.

That was a minor concern, of course, relatively speaking. The bigger problem was that it meant she couldn't write. She'd tried to write her letter to Celestia before Spike had woken up. The quality was somewhere between that of Rainbow Dash's, Granny Smith's and Doctor Stable's, and nowhere near legible.

She sighed, and was about to climb the table by the window for another look outside when the doorknob turned. Spike stepped inside, a stack of paper in his arms and Pinkie Pie following him.

Spike grimaced, and glanced over at Twilight. "Sorry. I ran into her in the shop, and she kinda followed me."

The moment she saw Twilight, Pinkie's eyes expanded to around twice their normal size. A foreboding smile grew on her lips, and a low squeal escaped her. Twilight turned and tried to run.

With porcupine legs, she stood no chance. Pinkie pounced on her and enveloped her in what would have been a bone-crushing hug for a pony. For Twilight, it was life-threatening. "Ooh, she's so cute! Ow, spine! I'm going to hug her and love her and — ow, spine! — call her Ms. Fiddles and make her cupcakes and — ow, spine! "

Spike rushed over and tried to pry her from Pinkie's grip, but only succeeded in wearing out his fingers.

Twilight gasped. "Pinkie, you're… crushing… me."

Pinkie blinked. "Twilight?"

Twilight nodded as much as she could, under the circumstances. Pinkie dropped her a moment later, and lowered herself to stare at her. "Oh my gosh, Twilight! You're so super spondiferously extracategorically adorable!" A moment later, she rubbed her chin and squinted at Twilight. "Twilight, how come you're a porcupine?"

Twilight sighed. "I was changing my clothes."

"Oh, I hate it when that happens."

"With mag — wait, what?" She stared at Pinkie for a moment. "Um, well, anyway… Spike, I need you to take a letter to the Princess."

He grabbed a quill from the writing desk, grabbed a page from the stack of paper he'd left by the door and returned. Twilight cleared her throat. "Dear Princess Celestia… today, while trying to cast a transfiguration spell on one of my belongings, I accidentally… caused a harmful transmogrification. I need your help. Please respond soon. Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle."

Spike finished writing and offered the note to her.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Twilight accidentally turned herself into a porcupine.

help

Sincerely, Spike

Twilight scowled.

Spike wrung his claws. "It's just a first draft."

She put a paw to her forehead. "Close enough, I guess."

He belched dragon-flame and sent the note away in a purple cloud. Pinkie giggled, and Twilight glowered at her. It failed to make her look more aggressive. "Pinkie, this is nothing to laugh about. What if I'm stuck as a porcupine forever?"

Pinkie screwed up her face in apparent concentration for a moment. "Umm… then you can live with Gummy in my attic!" She thought for another moment. "Or, ooh, ooh, I know! Fluttershy has some porcupines, I bet you could make lots of friends!"

Twilight opened her mouth, closed it, and repeated this for several seconds before crawling under a table.

Pinkie crept over, and stared at her through the legs. "Hey, it's not so bad, Twilight. You get to poke ponies in the face, you're like a, like a… an adorable porcupine Twilight. A porcutwine. Or a porcutwi!"

Spike chuckled, but said nothing.

Twilight peeked out from under the table. "Spike, could you get me something to read?"

"Yeah, sure."

He wandered over to a shelf, grabbed something and dropped it in front of her. A tiny porcupine grinned up at her from the cover of a children's book. She groaned, and banged her head against the table leg.

Pinkie stuck her tongue our, and squinted at the wall. "Huh."

"What?"

"I wonder if they make get-well cards that say 'I'm-sorry-you-accidentally-turned-yourself-into-a-porcupine-and-I-really-hope-you-fix-it-soon-but-if-you-don't-you-can-come-sleep-in-my-attic-or-maybe-in-my-couch-if-you-want.'"

Twilight gaped at her.

Pinkie gave her best shot at making puppy eyes. "It's a really nice couch. You'd love it, I know you would. Plus, it's like the most funnest place in the house during parties!"

"Thanks, but I think I'll pass."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

Pinkie rolled her eyes and looked out the window. "I'm telling you, you don't know what you're missing."

Twilight glanced out the window herself, and bit her lip. Celestia had to send something back soon, right? She had to be busy, of course, but for how much longer? How much longer would she be stuck as an effectively illiterate rodent?

She shook herself, and began to creep toward the stairs. If she could get to her bed, she could wait there until she wrote back. It couldn't be that much longer anyway, right? She'd sent the letter… how long ago was it? Five minutes? No, it had to be longer than that. It felt longer than that.

Her thoughts were interrupted a moment later by a broom.

She slammed into the base of a bookshelf, and a few of the lighter books toppled out around her, The Pocket Guide to Equestrian Wildlife landing just short of her nose. She squeaked, and winced in pain. For a few seconds, the world swam around her.

Spike grimaced, and dropped the broom. "Sorry!"

Pinkie walked over, and squinted at her. She tapped her on the head, earning herself a few more spines, and then barked at her. Twilight simply gaped.

"Spike, you broke her!"

He flinched. "Sorry!"

A minute later, Twilight shook herself. "What just happened?"

"Spike hit you with a broom."

"I said I was sorry."

Twilight winced, and stood up. "I forgive you, Spike." She sighed. "Now, can one of you help me up the stairs?"

Pinkie raised her hooves and shrugged apologetically.

"Yeah, okay." Spike shuffled over, stuffed the books back on the shelf, and picked her up. He turned, walked across the room and began to climb the stairs. About halfway up, his face twitched. "Hey, I guess it's not all bad."

Twilight glanced at the bookshelves, and mentally cursed her tiny paws. "How do you figure?"

"Well… you know what?"

"What?"

A grin cracked his face. "We won't have to buy quills for a while." He cackled, almost dropping Twilight.

Twilight howled, and threw herself at his face.

"Ow! Twilight, it was just a joke! Ow, ow!"