Equestria’s calendar was and is bloated with holidays and celebrations of all shapes and sizes. There were the little ones, like Secretary Day or Accountant’s Day, and there were the big ones, like Hearth’s Warming Eve or Hearts and Hooves Day. Some were for Celestia, others were not. Regardless of the scope or focus, Celestia attended an event for every single one. Her presence was an essential part of the proceedings, whether the content was focused on orphans or omelets, whether the scope was a single restaurant or the entire kingdom.
Celestia loved every single one, of course. Her little ponies always made her smile, no matter the exact garnishes of their interaction. Regardless, Celestia’s favorite celebration was one that she had no involvement in. Nightmare Night always helped her remember that her ponies could celebrate without her. This year it would also reassure her that Luna would have many celebrations of her own. Time alone is important to anypony, and once the palace parties were out of the way, Celestia had just that.
The clearance sales the day after may also have had something to do with it.
Like any holiday, stores would always have overstock once the event had ended, and they would either mark them down or shove it in storage for the next year. Candy was perishable, despite the obscene amounts of preservatives in it, so sales were the only option. An advantage of a royal treasury was the ability to place bulk orders.
Celestia reached for another piece of candy corn, but her hoof flopped around without touching the bowl. She lurched backward, and her body slid a few centimeters towards her headboard. The pillows propping up her head scrunched and she promptly slid back.
She tried her other hoof; there had been a package of mini chocolate bars on her right at some point. Tartarus willing, there was still some left.
Her right hoof was just as inaccurate as her left. After a few seconds of directionless waggling it was clear that she wasn’t going to find anything there. There had been some prepackaged s’mores by her left hindleg when she started. Those were probably still there.
Celestia ignited her horn. It flickered, sputtered, and for a moment it even glowed valiantly, but it quickly dimmed. It happened every year. She really should mix some energy bars or something into the candy to counteract all the sugar, but it absolutely ruined the palate.
Celestia looked forward, but her stomach blocked her view. It was suspiciously, cartoonishly round, and well past its original size. There were a few candy wrappers sitting on top of it, reminiscent of cherries on ice cream. The comparison made Celestia hungry.
She tried to roll over. Rocking her flank slightly to work up some momentum, then using her wings to push herself sideways. It usually worked, but her belly was not being cooperative this time. The bulk of it started to move a few seconds after the rest of her body. When she changed directions her stomach would stubbornly stall just long enough to impede her movements.
She grunted and settled back into bed. Her stomach sloshed loudly as it settled back into place. She might have overdid it a bit this year.
“Sister? Are you still in your room?” Luna called.
“Yes, over here!” Celestia smiled to herself; Perfect timing. The palace staff always got today off, lest they see Celestia in her subpar state. Luna would be able to roll her over no problem.
“Oh, sister, you will not believe the lovely engagement I had whilst in Ponyville. There were admittedly some initial difficulties, but eventually—” Luna froze. The sight of Celestia’s bedroom would have given any pony pause, goddess or not.
Celestia herself was comically, even cosmically larger than usual. The mass of her stomach easily exceeded the rest of her body combined. It bulged outward, giving Celestia a distinctly pear-shaped torso.
Her bedroom was not much better. A ring of candy wrappers circled her bed, with Celestia clearly at the center of the detritus. Even without her astronomic experiences, Luna could not avoid a comparison to a planet and its rings. One of the larger ones, at that. The white sheets had a few noticeable splotches of sugar stuck to them. There was few empty ice cream cartons piled in a trashcan near the door.
Luna jabbed a hoof in her sister’s direction. “Tia, what has happened to you? You look as though you have ingested some of our subjects!”
“I may have overeaten slightly,” Celestia said simply.
“This is no small slight! You look like an inept reenactment of a solar body!”
“Yes yes, I get it—your wit has not waned during your banishment. Since you’re here, could you roll me over?” Celestia attempted another illustrative roll. “I fear I am stuck.”
Luna frowned. “Is this the result of our holiday’s surplus supplies? Obesity and sloth? I had a rather positive picture of it before, but I fear I need to reconsider.”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “By Tartarus, Luna. I do this every year. It is not a big deal.”
“Your immobility says otherwise.” Luna gingerly approached the bed. The carpet of candy wrappers crinkled loudly with each step.
“Can we discuss this after you roll me? I think there may be a lollipop stuck to my flank.”
Luna poked Celestia’s belly. It jiggled slightly.
“Please don’t do that, Luna.”
Luna poked Celestia again. “If this is an annual occurrence, why did you appear healthy yesterday?”
Celestia snorted. “Luna, please. I could burn these calories off in seconds with solar magic. I just need some coffee or something to help charge my horn.”
“Just because one can indulge in such behavior doesn’t mean it is a wise decision, Tia!”
“We all relax in our own way, Luna. Now if you are quite done, could you help flip me over?” Celestia made a small circle with her hoof.
Luna stood up. “No.”
“What?”
“I believe you need to reflect on your actions. So I am going to leave you here.” Luna scanned the room. “And I am taking this.” The book Celestia had been reading floated into her grasp. “Hopefully some reflection will help your habits.”
“Luna, I swear by Tartarus if you leave me here, banishment to the moon will be the least of your problems!”
Luna had already walked out of the door.
Celestia tried to prop herself up with her forelegs, but she underestimated her stomach’s density and promptly flopped back down. One thing was certain; there was a lollipop stuck to her flank.
Celestia sighed. She should’ve known better; the exact same thing had happened when Cadance found her seven Nightmare Nights ago.
Author's Note
Literally my only regret with this story is that I could not find a good spot to mention an "ice cream chaser."
