Captain Applejack Harkness

Chapters

Nightmare Gilda
Descendants
Wherein things finally get interesting
Meet the Captains
Black & Silver
The Vault
[Title Corrupted]
Method of Elimination
Jack of All Trades...
Dead Mare Trotting
A for Applejack
The Brighter Future
Story Time, Part 1
Story Time, Part 2
Lots of Setup
Beginning
Applejack's Cereal (Killer)

Nightmare Gilda

June 20, 1618

Dear diary,

Everything is happening exactly like it’s supposed to, I think. The preparations for the summer sun celebration are almost done, and today I met Twilight Sparkle. I tried to make friends with her by pulling a “Howdy, I’m a simple farmer, meet the folks” maneuver. I don’t think it worked. Hopefully the awkward introduction won’t be remembered when fighting Nightmare Moon. Let’s hope any changes to the timeline didn't mess with her intelligence.

Right now, it is only about 2 PM, so I’ll go back to work. Just needed to write these thoughts down. Soon, I’ll be facing Nightmare Moon, but discreetly. The other members of my team are ready, and so am I. I have to be careful, because once Princess Luna returns, everything changes.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--

June 21, 1618

Dear Diary,

It has been an interesting 24 hours.

So apparently, Nightmare Moon was literally trapped on the moon. That explains why I kept picking up life signals from there. So no need to strategically strike moon pony hideouts in case of invasion from the hidden space laser under the barn. Not like I was planning to do so next week. Nope.

I was also correct that Twilight knew what she was doing; I mean, she confronted Nightmare, monologued, searched a library, and saved the day at the last second.If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she is a female version of the Doctor.

Think about it: Twilight is an inspector, arrived the same day a world changing catastrophe was going to happen, didn't flinch when Nightmare Moon arrived, searched for the mystery in the library, has a companion of the opposite gender (and of an different species), her cutie mark could represent travelling the stars, is generally nonviolent, and shoots Nightmare Moon with weaponized friendship.

So now I am destined to save the world multiple times with someone who resembles the Doctor in several personality traits. So might as well jot down these notes from the UNIT archive:

Subject: The Doctor
Species: Time Lord
Sex: Male (presumably)
Age: Varies
Cutie Mark: Hourglass (presumably)
Appearance: a normal pony, either as an earth pony, unicorn, or pegasus

1: male gray unicorn with white mane
2: male dark gray earth pony with black mane
3: dark blue unicorn, white and blue mane
4: orange-brown earth pony with brown mane
5: Beige Pegasus
6: ?green stallion?
7: Blue pegasus, dark blue mane
8: ?unicorn?
9: black earth pony, short black mane
10: ???

Also surprising, I didn’t die once. Usually, when one fights an immortal goddess of the moon, who was known for her omnicidal tendencies, and could only be defeated by strange magical artifacts that shoot magical rainbow lasers, one expects huge casualties (or one casualty over a hundred times). Either that, or Nightmare Moon’s return and purification is an unalterable part of history.

Anyways, Princess Luna returned, I became the bearer of the Element of Honesty for the third time, and I became friends with five random mares. I knew of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, and were on a friendly basis with them. Rarity and Fluttershy were more frilly for my tastes, (frou-frou and non-athleticism). Twilight knows a lot about magic theory (definitely more than my last science officer), and appears very introverted, though makes up for it in her underlying personality.

I don’t know, maybe I’ll ask her for some help. It would be an easy way to get to know her. She may not be the Doctor, but if she’s anything like her brother, she can probably handle whatever the world has to offer.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--

June 28, 1618

Dear diary,

The Grand Galloping Gala is ironically the only party I’ve never been to. Avoiding Celestia while working for her is difficult, but now that I’m an element again, I can scout for the Doctor at the most exclusive party of the year (which he mentioned visiting several times). Not only that, but I can also make some bits off the nobles by selling pastries to pay for Granny Smith’s broken hip (government family health insurance does not apply to immortals).

Rainbow Dash is in trouble, mostly because the Wonderbolts are always swarmed with photographers.. Rarity is in for a ride, because Blueblood hates ponies that want him because of his royal title. Not to mention his love of incredibly esoteric subjects. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy will probably be fine, they’ll probably lighten the mood. Twilight’s night will be weird, because Celestia has to greet all the guests (heard about that one time back in 1367 when she greeted ponies for almost 24 hours straight).

What could go wrong (Other than a Zebra/Griffon invasion, invasion by aliens, getting crushed by a monster, arrested by Celestia, shot down by Luna, framed for murder, etc.) ?

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
July 3, 1618

“Boy howdy! I got my work cut out for me. That there is the biggest bumper crop o' apples I ever laid eyes on.”

“Eeyup. Too big for you to handle on your own.”

“Come on, big Mac! You need to rest up and get yourself better. I haven't met an apple orchard yet that I can't handle. Oops, sorry. I'll take a bite out of this job by day's end."

“Biting off more than you can chew is just what I'm afraid of.”

“Are you sayin' my mouth is makin' promises my legs can't keep?”

“Eeyup.”

“Why, of all the... This your great aunt Applejack remember? Ah’ve been buckin’ these fields since before your parents were born. Remember?!”

“Doesn’t matter, yer still only one pony, and one pony plus hundreds o' apple trees just doesn't add up to... ”

“Ah, was the one ta teach ya how ta count, and ah’m sayin’ I'm gonna get every last apple out of those trees this applebuck season all by mahself.”

--0o0--

July 8, 1618

Dear Diary,

I hate time loops. I remember my friend Roseluck, who told me this story about how when she visited Ponyville for a flower convention, there was a bunny stampede that ate everything. Guess who started it? Me.

Back when I traveled with the Doctor and Rose, I was always fascinated about my ancestors, especially my namesake, Applejack. Rose told me stories about how she and her friends bravely fought off Nightmare Moon and saved the world from neverending night. She then told stories of what life was like back in Ponyville, how monsters attacked the town often, but the Elements of Harmony would always save the day in the end.

I grew up listening to my grandma Apple Bloom about the tales of my namesake, how she gallantly saved equestria multiple times with her friends, how despite being famous enough to become whatever she wanted, she always stayed with her family, helping out, even when she was busy saving the world from the god of chaos. I always wanted to be just like her.

I just never thought that I would be my namesake.

Ever since Apple Bloom was born, I had to be careful not to do anything that could change the timeline (such as blowing up aliens and burying the ashes in the southern orchard or bringing home ponies after a wild night out). I have been observing Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, and nudging their families to stay in Ponyville, despite better reasons to move elsewhere.

To fulfill Rose’s time loop, I had to launch Rainbow Dash into a tree, poison half of Ponyville, and cause the bunny census to eat all the produce in the surrounding area. All because she said I would. If I didn't, the paradox would've probably sucked up Big Mac into oblivion.

In retrospect, I should probably apologize to him for yelling. And to most of ponyville for the rabbit rampage and food poisoning. And to Rainbow Dash for launching her into the library (keeping a dark matter reactor in my hat induces drowsiness, but made me heavy enough to propel Rainbow into the stratosphere.)

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
July 15, 1618

“Stupid Rainbow Dash, stupid ponies..." Gilda grumbled as she flew towards Manehattan, “I don’t need them! I can make new friends! Ones that won’t turn on me when they get new lame-o friends.”

Meanwhile, inside a tree in Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack Harkness was preparing for a new capture. She stared one-eyed into her telescope, as she pointed her bird net straight into the air at a precise angle.

“Just gotta aim right there...” she said under her breath, “when she passes that cloud... NOW!”

She pressed a button, releasing a large net, 10 feet by 10 feet, causing said net to catapult itself across the sky. Within moments, the net had impacted the only griffon for miles. As she plummeted to the ground, Gilda screamed curses that were made unintelligible by the Doppler effect.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

CRACK!

On the ground lying in a crater surrounded by apple trees, Gilda was severely injured. Her feathers were ruffled, her wings twisted from the impact, she was definitely traumatized.

“Ugh...” Gilda moaned with sheer pain, as she laid in the center of a crater created by the impact.

“Wh-what happened? I can’t-” Gilda muttered breathlessly.

A blurry figure walked up, obscured by delirium and shock. As the figure got closer, Gilda turned her head slowly to see an orange and yellow blob.The figure was immediately followed by another, dark purple blob. The two face each other and begin talking in hushed whispers, Gilda barely hears anything.

“It’s definitely her.”

“Or somebody similar.”

“Why do you use that phrase? ‘Somepony’ still works even if we’re dealing with Griffons.”

“Eh, force of habit.”

As Gilda continued to squint her eyes, they finally began to focus. What she saw made her even more confused.

“The heck is going on?! Let me go, you lame-o pony!” Gilda screamed.

“Ah see yer conscious," Applejack said, “but unfortunately fer ya, ah can’t do that.”

“What!? Why not?!” Gilda yelled, wondering what was happening.

“Cause yer under arrest fer crimes against Equestria, Germaney, and the Griffon Empire," Applejack stated nonchalantly, “Let’s see, you’re wanted for armed robbery, assault, attempted assassination, sabotage, affiliating with a known terrorist, implanting commands into sleeper agents, and harboring illegal aliens."

Gilda's eyes narrowed as she slowly sat up. She definitely needed to be careful with these ponies.

“I didn't do any of those acts that you accused me of," she said tersely.

“And ah have proof ya did," Applejack pulled out a folder labeled ‘Griffon, GILDA 178’ and handed it to her colleague.

The purple mare nodded and took the folder into her hoof. She flipped through everything and snapped the portfolio shut.

“This is actually very comprehensive evidence. In any court of law you’re screwed so badly, the judge would declare you guilty of stupidity," the mare stated.

“Are you saying I’m dumb!?” Gilda yelled.

“No, just really bad at covering your tracks. You left at least a dozen claw prints lying around, evidence of your meetings, and an audio recording of your involvement and testimony to ‘wanting to blow up as many noble dweebs as physically possible’," the mare said.

“So what, you’re just going to arrest me and ship me off to the royal guard?” Gilda huffed.

“Nah, ah don’t really care fer brainwashing, but ya aren’t much of a threat. Ya’re an enemy of the crown, and ah respect that," Applejack said.

“You… what?” Gilda asked, confused and bewildered.

“Ah personally don’t care much fer Celestia and her ‘brighter future’ campaign. Ah’ve seen it, and it ain't bright. And besides, yer only a threat if the ponies ya tried to assassinate were blind, deaf, and never bothered to hire any protection," Applejack pointedly stated.

“I am clearly a threat! I manipulated ponies! Attempted to assassinate the mayor of Canterlot! I robbed the Equestrian National Bank with a shotgun! I do to deserve to be arrested!” Gilda argued, “What did you ever do that could be worse than that?!”

“What makes ya think ah’ve done something?” Applejack asked.

“That condescending look on your face when you read my crimes. So let me ask again. What. Did you. Ever do that could be worse than anything I've ever done?” Gilda jabbed.

A smirk appeared on Applejack’s face as a nostalgic feeling swept over her, “Ah exist. And that’s what makes me Enemy of the Crown Number four.”

“But Enemy number four is a terrorist organization," Gilda said in disbelief.

“Eeyup, took me years ta convince everybody that I wasn't an earth pony,” she smiled as she continued, “Black Ness was an alias, created using really good prosthetics and a jetpack.”

“That was over a hundred years ago," Gilda said.

“And still lookin’ good," Applejack said, “Now, Ah’m givin’ ya two choices: go to jail fer the rest of your life and probably die from yer bosses ta prevent ya from spillin’ secrets, or do a little job fer me and get off Scot free.”

“What kind of job?” Gilda asked.

“Go to Canterlot library, there, ya’ll meet a friend of mine. He’ll be a white unicorn wearing a blue pin. Once there, he’ll inform ya of the parameters of the job. Now go, and if ah catch ya brainwashing again, no amount of alien tech’s gonna save ya," Applejack said sternly, “understood?”

“Yes," Gilda murmured.

“See ya soon then," Applejack said, “here’s a train ticket and an ice pack. Ya’ll be there by tomorrow mornin’, but ya don’t see him ‘til 2 PM.”

Gilda winced in pain as she stood up, then began walking slowly towards the train station. As she continued, she wondered how she’d been so easily caught. Whoever her blackmailers were, she knew that they were dangerous.

They seem familiar… have I met them before?

Wait… the orange one… wasn't she at Rainbow’s party?

With the griffon out of earshot, Applejack relaxed. The other mare had an eyebrow raised and a frown.

“Are you sure you can trust her? I mean, if she told somepony-” the mare said before being interrupted.

“She won’t tell. She doesn't want ta go ta prison, and she doesn't even have proof. What can she say? An apple farmer and a schoolteacher caught her in a net, then blackmailed her into doin’ some menial labor involving the transfer of an alien artifact? Not even Pinkie Pie would believe her," Applejack pointed out.

“I’m just saying, this is tricky business. You usually only recruit stable ponies, and Gilda is not stable. She’s going to snap eventually," the teacher said.

“And if she does, we’ll just send her off ta prison," Applejack said, “Don’t worry, nothin’s gonna happen.”

“But are you sure? Can’t we at least wipe her memories, just to be safe?”

“No, wipin’ memories are fer scumbags who can’t own up ta their mistakes. If this is a mistake, ah’ll fix it head on.”

“This is our job, and doesn't the ‘any means necessary’ clause mean-”

“No. We don’t need ta use it, so we won’t. Gilda is clearly goin’ along because we have a mountain of evidence against her, and usin’ Retcon to solve all our problems is only gonna hinder us. Memory searchin’ spells are a bit a dozen in the upper circles, and findin’ hidden memories will only give evidence against us.”

“...Fine. But I am not covering for you when we appear in court against two dozen eyewitnesses.”

“Come on sugarcube, ah got some neat disguises if ya’re so worried. They’ll make you look like a blue unicorn from Prance missin’ an eye if ya need to.”

“That would explain how you haven’t aged since we met.”

“Eenope, just good genes, regular exercise, healthy diet, and immortality here. Mah face is all natural, not a single cream or surgery on a single freckle.”

“Healthy diet? You eat more than the rest of your family combined!”

“What?! That’s not true, ah’ll have you know yesterday, ah didn’t eat a single thing.”

“I found you chained to the wall of deranged maniac yesterday.”

“Exactly, he kept tryin’ to feed me pears!”

“You know what, I’m not even going to argue. I’m going home.”

“Hey, we caught the legendary doomsday cult leader of the Pearicles, and ah defeated a moon demi-goddess with five random mares. Ah’m pretty sure that entitles me ta be picky about mah fruit!”

“Sure, whatever, see you later Applejack.”

“Goodbye Cheerilee.”

Author's Note

of Doctor Whooves fictions: 500+

of GOOD Doctor Whooves fictions: about 20

of Torchwood/MLP fictions: 6-8

of GOOD Torchwood/MLP fictions: 2 (this fanfic doesn't count)

Slightly Edited: 6/18/2014

Descendants

Excerpts from The Complete Guide to Equestrian Legends, History, and Mythology
by LHS and BB.

Chapter 3: The elements of harmony

... The elements of harmony are a collection of ancient magical artifacts of great power, having existed since before the founding of Equestria. They were believed to have been forged by starswirl the bearded, and originally used by the founders of Equestria. Not much is known about their origins other than these facts, and any attempts to decipher the history has proven pointless...

... It is believed that starswirl collaborated on his creation of the elements with an earth pony known only as "The Doctor". Starswirl never disclosed the exact contributions to the invention of the elements, other than that it was crucial to the development of the regalia's spell matrix. It is odd that an earth pony knew enough about quantum magic fluctuation patterns, especially in those times, when 50% of earth ponies were serfs controlled by unicorn and pegasus masters...

Chapter 6: Equestria's founding

... Not much is known about smart cookie, the second earth pony founder, other than her involvement in Clover the Clever's study of time spells. Legend has it that she mysteriously appeared one day on the outskirts of an earth pony village, nearly frozen to death in an attempt to find a friend. Despite being the distant ancestor to one tenth of all earth ponies, she remains an enigma.

Old journals discovered during the excavation of mount Canterlot revealed that smart cookie was a mare, liked rare fruits, and talked in a strange accent. She was especially close to Clover the Clever and Private Pansy, considering the two some of her best friends...

... Seventeen years after Equestria's founding, the old capitol was attacked by celestial followers, leading to the deaths of the founders. All the bodies were later buried, with the exception of Smart Cookie's, which was never found…

--0o0--
July 22, 1618

Trixie was galloping as fast as she could. She needed to think, but she couldn’t stop for some reason. After the embarrassment caused by the ursa minor, she needed to leave Ponyville. Just as she reached the outskirts of town, she heard a noise in front of her.

Bzzt! warp-worp!

A flash of light and a swirl of colors appeared as a lone figure approached Trixie out of nowhere. Trixie braced herself, ready to fight Twilight, Ursa majors, or other abominations. But she didn’t expect to see a familiar orange earth pony.

“Howdy Trixie, nice night fer a stroll, huh?” Applejack asked.

Trixie stared in confusion, unable to wrap around what was in front of her. She ran at top speed for nearly twenty minutes. She was sweating through her cloak and hat, exhausted from the vigorous exercise. And then suddenly, an earth pony with no visible mode of transportation popped out in front of her, with no strain and a mellow facial expression. Trixie was suddenly sweating again, realizing that she was now in grave danger. Her face started twitching slightly as she tumbled backwards and onto the ground. Trixie couldn’t believe it, but she recognized the strange pony.

Applejack simply smiled, took off her hat and pulled out a folder with Trixie’s full name on it. Applejack looked at the folder and back at Trixie, before closing it and raising an eyebrow.

“That was pretty impressive fer a show mare, if I must say. I didn’t see gettin’ hogtied as possibility. First time in a while since someone bested me.”

Trixie’s eyes grew focused as she wrinkled her eyebrows. Sweat continued to trickle down her neck, as she panted deeply. Her mind’s gears were whirring. What the hay was going on? Where did she come from?

“Wait, what?” Trixie blurted out.

"Course, ah believe ya just got lucky that time. Losin' ta an ursa minor not very becomin' of a descendant."

"Descendant?"

"Yer a grandchild of time, Trixie. Yer mother was a companion, and ah'm sure she told you about the stories."

"You... You're one of them. What do you want? You chased me out of town, ruined my reputation and my trailer, and now you're harassing me! Trixie does not know where he is! Not even my mother knows, so go away, and leave me alone," Trixie demanded as she begins to leave.

"Actually, ah'm here with a job offer."

Trixie halted, turned around one eighty degrees, and stared at Applejack with determined eyes, "what kind of job?"

"A little reconnaissance. Ah just recently took down a member of the ‘Germaneian Incognito Liberty or Die Alliance’. She has agreed to work with me, albeit begrudgingly. You’ll be sent to Canterlot as part of a new team.

“Ya remember the battle of Canary Wharf, don’t ya? Torchwood One was destroyed, along with thousands of casualties. Yvonne Heart was the leader, otherwise known as Yvonne Lulamoon, yer sister. Now, ever since then, Canterlot’s been vulnerable to attack and mah surveillance has faltered.

“You’ll be given a new job protectin’ Equestria from enemies more powerful than an Ursa, while gettin’ a new fancy paycheck. If yer anythin’ like her, you’ll do fine,” Applejack finished, then looked at Trixie expectantly.

“M-my sister’s job? I don’t know what to say...” Trixie said.

“Yah could do it fer her. Also, a job protectin’ the Canterlot nobles can getcha a lotta connections, good fer any showmare.”

“...”

“C’mon, I know a certain white unicorn stallion that’s got a bucket load of political allies,” Applejack insisted.

“...”

“If ya don’t, I gotta bring ya in ta prison.”

“... Alright. I’m in.”

--0o0--
July 29,1618

Dear diary,

Fluttershy is scary. And this is coming from the mare who’s died from everything from dragons to rotten tomatoes. She is scary. (And also heavy, but don’t tell her I said that.)

Also, fighting dragons is harder when you’re being discrete. I couldn’t carry any weapons other than apples. Really Twilight, just because I am an apple farmer does not mean I attack with apples. I use knives, guns and heavy artillery like everybody else.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
August 5, 1618

Dear diary,

Twilight’s first slumber party. It was okay, other than Rarity being annoying. The nerve of her, telling me things I can and can’t do! I’m like, 450 years older than her, cut me some slack, an elderly mare has trouble eating.

(I swear, if I had brought my vortex manipulator with me, the whole night wouldn’t have happened. But somebody *cough*Cheerilee*cough* wanted me to get it dry cleaned! How do you dry clean a teleporting bracelet!?

Anyways, the night actually was fun, and I heard a ghost story that actually scared me. So yeah, apparently both Twilight and Fluttershy can scare me now. Rarity acts just like a Canterlotian, despite the fact that they don’t act like that around friends (Canterlot beer pong is awesome, by the way.)

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
August 12, 1618

Shortly after Zecora left the spa, she began wondering. So it seems to be real, the latent chaos magic I feel.

She continued to walk back to her home in the everfree forest as Celestia’s sun began to set. Five minutes into her walk, she heard a rustle and what felt like a breeze.

“Do not believe you can fool me, pony hiding within the trees. I can tell you do not belong, and yet your mind is still strong.”

A single pony stepped into the open, donning what appeared to be a black trench coat, sunglasses, a gray bracelet, and a stetson. This was dwarfed by the fact that she was holding a very large double barreled gun.

“Give me one reason why ah shouldn’t shoot ya.”

“I know who you are Applejack, now please put that shotgun back.”

Applejack closed one eye and began to aim, “One. Reason.”

“I originally came to Ponyville to investigate, an unusual source of magic ready to open Discord’s gate. I work for the United Nations Intelligence Taskforce, and came here at the request of a humble horse. He told me something strange was ahoof, but his superiors demanded proof. So he called me to study and search, this little corner of the earth.”

Applejack finally lowered the gun, but still held on, “Ya should’ve just called. Ah would’ve explained everythin’.”

“Listen to me, undying mare, take the utmost care. For the ponies in certain groups and rings, do not approve of your meddling. Thrice already you have changed history, everything in the future will soon be a mystery. Your own existence is at stake, for while you fear no death, how much can your family take?”

Applejack’s ears perked up, her head turning to the side. Her eyebrows furrowed and a slight frown appeared on her face. The mare’s eyes filled with worry as she began to contemplate what she was hearing.

“The acquisition of the grandchildren of time is not enough, unlike before, this timeline is not set in stone, but more like a diamond in the rough. Change is coming, and I cannot see the future anymore. It is time to start running, and forget the old lore.”

“But... ah can save them. I can prevent Celestia from creating the solar empire. If ah can just make sure Luna gets friends this time, the two wouldn’t fight, and ah can save so many lives...”

“While that is correct, when one changes a bad thing another takes its place. You are not the architect, attempting to fix the darkness that has permeated the pony race. In reality you are waging a secret war, one whose influence have spread far. It has attracted the attention of others, ones who have the capability to make you suffer.”

“...”

“This is the truth, stop the war or else ponies will sleuth. When all your secrets are revealed, who will keep their anger concealed. You wield the element of honesty, but you deceive and manipulate everypony consciously. You sneer at idolatry, yet you continue to search for the blue box constantly. In short, you have to admit that you are a hypocrite.”

A smirk appeared on Applejack’s face, “Is that all? Anyone who really knows me already knows that.”

“I see you take your predicament lightly, such blessing for one so mighty.”

“Ah truly am honest, however. In mah entire life, nobody ever asked me mah opinions on Celestia. No one expects a simple farmer to fight a war. Ah’ve never lied because no one bothered to be curious. No pony, dragon, griffon, or eldritch abomination ever sees me as hiding secrets, because ah hide in plain sight; who’d expect a farmer-turned-savior-of-equestria would be able to hide any secrets? No one, especially when said bearer holds the element of honesty.

“Very few ponies really understand how the element works. They assume ya can’t lie or have to be free of secrets fer it ta work, but actually, all that’s needed is truth between friends and family. Ah’m allowed ta lie for the safety of others, and that’s what ah do. Ah’m changin’ history because it’s already changin’. Ah mean, why not go fer a better future? Celestia’s brighter future ain’t gonna happen, but that doesn’t mean tryin’ a different way couldn’t make things better.”

Zecora looked at Applejack with an astonished look, “Life is not a chess game, Captain Harkness. The ponies in your immortal life can be found in both light and darkness. She is no longer the tyrant in your past, but has changed with the history you’ve craft. You have done enough, so stop before the enemies get very, very, tough.”

"Ah'm not playing with lives, ah'm merely... influencing the events. If ah go too far, I inform the affected parties about mah changes. Mah family knows, and they're okay with it. Ah'm here to only slightly change things fer the better. Ah mean, it's basically the same thing a seer like you would do."

Zecora’ eyes continued to widen, her mouth barely able to open, “How did you know I was a seer? Never to Ponyville or Equestria have I been near.”

With a broadening smile, Applejack answered, “Ah knew yer father, he was a nice zebra, albeit a bit naive about pony culture. Told me all about how he married into a family of prophets, and had a ‘magic kid’. Haven’t seen his family since the ice crash of ‘96. He was a very good stallion, and it sure is nice ta see one of his descendants again.”

“So, why the shotgun? I don’t see why for you it’s so fun.”

“Had ta be sure, ‘cause another one of yer relatives stabbed me the back. Literally. Scared the buck outta him when I resurrected,” Applejack said, “but ah’d like ta say, ah am not gonna change things that much, and some things ah will leave intact, such as Discord and Sombra.”

“Speaking of Discord, I sense a disturbing amount of his magic. If what you are protecting is true, the results could be tragic.”

“Don’t worry, ah got a plan fer that. Ah’ll leave yah ta yer work, and you’ll leave me ta mine. Deal?”

Zecora pondered deeply, then decided to answer, “Very well, we have a deal. Just be wary of the monsters of the meal.”

“Ah understand.”

--0o0--
August 19, 1618

Dear diary,

Fluttershy does not understand the danger of eat-everything monsters. Or she does, but doesn’t care about property damage. Either way, the chaos in Ponyville continues to rise. At this rate, Discord will be drawn here like a moth to a flame when he’s released. Plans for his release are about to enter phase 2.

-Captain AJH

Author's Note

Doctor Who 50th in 4 days!

Also, expect some actual plot next chapter.

Edited: 10/16/2014

Wherein things finally get interesting

August 26, 1618

Applejack was walking across the market to her apple stand. The bustling street was only starting up for the day, but was soon going to be filled with ponies of all kinds, all eager to buy goods for themselves and their families, as well as many market stall ponies, all eager to sell said goods. But today, Applejack was not looking to sell apples. Sure, she was going to sell several dozen, but her main goal was something much more important than a few bits.

A certain smiling pony with a pink colored mane bounced in towards Applejack’s stand, willing to buy some fruit, “Hey, Applejack. Got some apples today?”

Applejack grinned, “Sure do, sugarcube. But first, how ‘bout some fresh apple fritters? Just made em this mornin’, and they are perfect for breakfast. What do ya think?”

Applejack handed over some fritters to Pinkie Pie, who gladly ate them in one bite.

“Mm mmm! These are delicious, Applejack! What are they for?”

“Nothin’ much, just practicin’ some baking. How ‘bout you? Handlin’ yer job as apprentice baker well?”

“Yepperoni! I love making all sorts of treats, like bread, and cake, and muffins, and cupcakes-”

“Well Pinkie, I think ah feel the hankerin’ fer some cupcakes later.”

Pinkie started jumping up and down, “Oooh! That sounds good! Maybe I could get Rainbow Dash to help!”

“Sounds fine, maybe ya should get Twilight ta help too.”

“Yeah, the more the merrier!”

“Maybe ya should also bring Apple Bloom’s friend, Twist with ya.”

“Okay, But why?”

Applejack shrugged nonchalantly, “Ah dunno, she just seems like the type fer makin’ treats. Ah think she might be good at it.”

“Oh. Well, I’m gonna go plan this out! Bye!”

“Goodbye, Pinkie!”

--0o0--

September 1, 1618

Dear diary,

Phase 2 starts tomorrow. Also, I need to help set up a cutecenara for the most spoiled filly outside of Canterlot. Just ignore every time she nearly makes Apple Bloom cry, and I won’t erase my existence by beating her to a pulp.

I think I’m in trouble.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
September 2, 1618

Shortly after Diamond Tiara’s Cutecenara, Applejack was helping clean up. With a broom and pan, she sweeped up all confetti from the earlier party. After quietly observing Apple Bloom with the unknowing help of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, Applejack considered the day a success. On this day, Apple Bloom met her lifelong friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

Applejack continued sweeping, subconsciously humming a tune. Her pan full, she went to empty it in a nearby trashcan. As she did, the door to the bakery opened, as a bell chimed, signaling a pony entering Sugarcube Corner.

A purple earth pony mare with a saddlebag approached with a neutral expression on her face, “Applejack, I need to have a word with you.”

“Sure can, sugarcube, just give me a minute”, Applejack placed the pan and broom down on a table and grabbed two nearby chairs, “want a seat?”

“No, I’m afraid this is a serious matter. I believe you saw Apple Bloom and her new friends, right?”

“Yeah... and?”

“I’m afraid that Apple Bloom has been recently bullied by a pair of students, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and as her legal guardian, I needed to inform you.”

“Eeyup, ah’m aware of the bullying.”

“And you’ve taken care of it? I haven’t told Filthy Rich yet, but I will tomorrow.”

“No need, ah’ll take care of it”

“Are you sure? Well, what about punishment? I haven’t decided yet, but there must be consequences for the filly-”

“Stop right there.”

“Wait, what?”

“Now, don’t just go punishin’ fillies fer small little things. Ah am certain that Apple Bloom and her friends can handle it”, Applejack began to pick up the broom.

"No, actually I think the two need to be punished, or at least warned of the consequences."

"Ya don't need ta, they're just havin' fun with them, it'll be alright."

"... Wait a minute, are you trying to persuade me not to tell Filthy Rich?"

"... "

"You are! Why? Why are you letting some schoolyard bullies pick on Apple Bloom?"

"Cheerilee, as your commanding officer, I order you to not inform Mr. Rich about her daughter's malicious behavior. Is that understood?"

"... No. It is not. Why are you not stopping this? This is so simple, compared to what we do in our time. Why. Won't. You. Do anything?!"

"Ah can't tell ya. Fer captain’s eyes only. Don't question me, ah don't know that much, but the things ah know, ah've showed ya already."

“Actually, that was also something I needed to talk about”, Cheerilee pulled out three folders labeled ‘Sweetie Belle’, ‘Scootaloo’, and ‘Diamond Tiara’, “Care to explain?”

“You know ah got security files on all the ponies in Ponyville. Ah was just makin’ sure Apple Bloom’s safe with her new friends.”

“... Right, well if that’s true, then why is today listed in the files? In bold, red words stating: ‘September 2, 1618: Cutie Mark Crusader Founding at Cutecenara’. Now, what makes this weird is that it was written three weeks ago. So, an explanation for that?” Cheerilee’s eyes were sharp and beginning to squint, a frown began to appear over her face.

Applejack looked away, staring at some balloons in the corner. Cheerilee stepped closer, her face continuing to harden. The teacher reached inside her bag and pulled out three more folders labeled “Rainbow Dash”, “Trixie Lulamoon”, and “Cheerilee”.

“When you recruited me three years ago, you knew who I was, who my grandparents were, and yet you never said anything. You know who Trixie is, you know everypony in Ponyville, all our feelings, all our hobbies, all our secrets, and you keep it to yourself. You’ve been manipulating everypony in preparation for some mysterious agenda.”

Applejack sighed, dropped the broom, and looked directly at Cheerilee. Her eyes looked tired, but not like the artificial tiredness caused by radiation poisoning. It was true fatigue, the kind that took decades to obtain. For just a moment, she looked years older, her true age shown through her eyelids, penetrating Cheerilee’s gaze.

“... It’s all in the grand scheme of things, ya know. Ya think yer life is free, that yer choices matter, but really, someone else is pullin’ yer strings. Ah know what it feels like, but it’s the only way ah can change things.

“Ah try ta let everyone be free, that their lives are only changed a little bit. Just a little, like a new friend, or a different house. Ah never changed their love life, or their families, ah only changed things ta make the world a better place.

“Sweetie Belle? Ah had her parents stay in Ponyville despite a job openin’. Scootaloo? Ah saved her parents’ life from a rampagin’ Cyberpony. If ah hadn’t interfered, she woulda been an orphan living in the Ponyville Children’s Home. Now, she lives at the edge of Ponyville in a little cottage with her mother and father.”

Cheerilee’s eyes were widened, her pupils shrunken, and her mouth closed. After Applejack’s confession, she was confused, dazed, and in utter disbelief. The elder mare quietly picked up the broom and pan and continued cleaning. Cheerilee opened her mouth before closing it again. She picked up the folders on the floor, put them away, and turned to leave.

She started to walk out, but paused just before she exited the door. She sighed and asked, “So, see you tomorrow for poker?”

Applejack smiled and replied, “Sure thing, sugarcube.”

--0o0--

September 2, 1618

Dear diary,

Everything went off without a hitch. Phase 2 is now complete, and I think I can now introduce Cheerilee to the Plan. Also, I broke my record of justifying my actions, shaving off 30 seconds off my best time. I think I’m just going to make a pamphlet or something next time.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
September 30, 1618

“Applejack?”

“Yeah, Cheerilee?”

“How come there hasn’t been any rift activity or random alien invasions in the past three months?”

“Are ya complainin’?

“No… I’m just bored. Ever since Nightmare Moon returned, all we had were hungry insects, a baby ursa, and a Germaneian terrorist. Other than that, I’ve been grading quizzes and planning lessons. I just thought when I signed up to be part of a secret organization that deals with extraterrestrials, the last thing to happen was me getting bored."

“It’ll pick up eventually.”

“I’m supposed to be glad, but I just can’t shake this feeling that something is supposed to be happening. This boredom doesn’t feel right. It’s discomforting.”

--0o0--

October 21, 1618

Dear diary,

The rift is active again, but no monsters have left Tartarus or appeared in the Everfree. It could be a phantasm or an extra-dimensional entity. This close to Nightmare Night couldn’t be a coincidence.

On a lighter note, I have an idea for a good prank, although it’s best not to write it here. Cheerilee’s going to kill me for this.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
October 25, 1618

It was the day of the annual Running of the Leaves race in Ponyville. It was an otherwise peaceful day, except for...

“I won!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“No, ah won!” Applejack shouted.

“I won!”

“No, ah won!”

“I won!”

“Ah won!”

“You tied!” Spike shouted.

“Tied?!” the two yelled.

“For first?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“For last!” Pinkie said.

“LAST?” Rainbow Dash screamed.

“Then who won?” Applejack questioned.

A purple unicorn jogged up towards them. She smiled at them, wearing a shiny medal.

“YOU?” Applejack and Rainbow Dash yelled at the same time

“Oh no, but I did get fifth place, which is rather good considering I've never run a race before,” Twilight explained.

“What? How's that even possible?”

“You ran so slow, and looked at the scenery.”

“Exactly. I paced myself, just like my book said. Then at the end, when all the other ponies were worn out, I sprinted to the finish.”

Rainbow Dash was still shocked, “I don't believe it. Twilight beat us.”

“Well, with all your horsing around, it was quite easy,” Twilight replied.

“You're right, Twilight. Our behavior was a mite immature, don’tcha agree, Rainbow?”

“Yeah, we weren't very good sports,” Rainbow Dash concluded.

“Sounds to me that an important lesson was learned”, the voice said, as the princess of the day landed in front of the three ponies.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened, “Princess Celestia?! W... What are you doing here?”

“Autumn is one of my favorite seasons, and I decided to go to Ponyville to celebrate the Running of the Leaves," Princess Celestia stated coolly.

“I’m sorry you had to see us be such jerks, Princess,” Rainbow Dash said gloomily.

“That's all right, Rainbow Dash. Anypony can get swept up in the excitement of competition,” Celestia replied.

“It's important to remember that the friendship is always more important than the competition,” Twilight added.

“Exactly, Twilight. Now, unfortunately, because the two of you were busy tricking each other instead of shaking down leaves, many of the lovely trees of Equestria are still covered.”

“Princess, ah ain’t a weather pony, but ah’m pretty sure it takes more than a couple ‘a ponies ta shake down tha leaves,” Applejack said.

“Well, I am sure two athletic ponies like you can achieve that,” Celestia said.

“Actually,” a purple earth pony stepped up, “the amount of force these two ponies made can’t be any higher than 2000 Neightons in force, so it is unlikely that their lack of involvement caused the trees to stop falling.”

“Yeah!” a purple pegasus shouted as she stepped forward, “And besides, wouldn’t it also be better for us pegasi to fly? You know, flap our wings around, blow wind at the trees so the leaves fall down… I mean, Princess, why is required to run again?”

“Actually, that is a very good reason,” Celestia answered, “one that dates back to the end of the Neighpoleonic era-”

“Wait, so the pony who rode on the back of a dragon and conquered Europe decided on how to do this? He lost his final battle because of rain. Should we be trusting the guy?” commented a purple not-Twilight unicorn.

“It wasn’t Neighpoleon, it was one of his advisors,” Celestia replied calmly.

“So, one of Neighpoleon Bonbonaparte’s lackeys decided all this?!” a blue earth pony shouted, “Aw come on, I missed a party because of this!”

“Missed a party!?” PinkiePie yelled, zipping up close to the distressed pony, “We should throw you one! Oooh, let’s have a ‘secret message’ party! Because somepony missed the message!”

When Pinkie uttered that last phrase, several heads turned. Within seconds, a large group of ponies opened their mouths wide, sucked in air, and bellowed a phrase that caused Celestia’s hair to stand.

“Do you understand the message yet, Soldier Ourania? Do you?!” shouted the entire procession of ponies that had just bowed down to her. The ponies weren’t noticing anything wrong, and just smiled at their princess.

Princess Celestia, on the other hand, had gone pale, she would’ve been shaking if it wasn’t for years of posture training to create an aura of grace in front of her subjects. It showed her subjects bravery and strength in times of danger. Now, her little ponies needed her to be strong more than ever, Celestia realized. Even if they didn’t know it.

She gracefully answered the question with a simple nod, then bowed out.

“My little ponies, I must take leave, for I just remembered an important meeting I have to attend,” Princess Celestia said.

“Princess?” Twilight queried, not fully grasping the situation.

“Farewell, my faithful student, I expect a friendship report soon,” the diarch replied.

Celestia hurriedly took flight away from the congregation and towards her pegasi chariot. As she shrank in size as she disappeared into the blues of the sky, the quartet of ponies that began the whole situation just stood awkwardly.

“So… ” Rainbow Dash started, “want to grab a bite?”

“Sure, ah’m starvin’,” Applejack replied.

The two rivals trotted away, leaving an excited Pinkie and a confused Twilight.

Applejack was barely able to contain her snickers. She glanced at Rainbow Dash, completely oblivious to what happened. Totally worth it, she thought.

--0o0--
2 Minutes Later

Celestia touched down, her eyes darting around a shiver crawled across her spine, “Lieutenant Spear?” she inquired.

“Your highness? I something wrong?” the young guardspony asked.

“Yes, something is terribly wrong,” the princess replied, “send a message immediately to all alpha level officers telling them to convene as soon as possible. We have a code 8 on our hooves. Also raise all alerts to Defcon 4.”

“Defcon 4? Code 8? This is all so sudden Princess, what could possibly have happened that could justify all this trouble?” he asked, skepticism and a hint of anxiety beginning to creep into his tone.

“Just tell the officers that Black Ness has returned,” Princess Celestia answered.

The lieutenant gulped and immediately broke a sweat, but set out to follow his instructions. Many thoughts passed through his mind. The most infamous terrorist group in Equestrian history has returned? What does that mean? Are we all in danger?

Author's Note

Alternate titles:
Applejack pranks Celestia
Applejack screws up history
Applejack causes a terrorist scare for a prank
Applejack cause a nuclear war scare
Wherein things get mysterious
Wherein Celestia has a heart attack

On another note: Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh!

Doctor Who 50th Anniversary in 1 and 1/2 days!!!

Also MLP season 4 premiere, if you're into that sort of thing.

Lastly, expect a wait for the next chapter, I'm going to busy for a short while.

Slightly edited: 9/13/2014

Meet the Captains

ALERT: Black Ness has been spotted.

Code 8 has been activated! Defcon 4 has been activated!

Case File BW-214-2315126

Black Ness is an organization of unknown size and capabilities. Its members consist of Earth Ponies and Pegasi, with a relatively small number of Unicorns. It is believed to be funded by an unknown number of businesses in Canterlot and Manehattan.

The symbol used by members of Black Ness resemble a circle with three dots inside. The meaning of the symbol is unknown. Another symbol used sparingly in terrorist attacks is a trio of three circles with a notch in each at the 12 o’clock position.

Contact with Black Ness is forbidden. If discovered, do not approach any suspected members, as they have been known to be intensely violent. They are responsible for several attacks on Canterlot and the surrounding cities, resulting in widespread chaos and destruction. Immediately Inform all Alpha level Officers.

List of known crimes:
1309 AD- Collapse of third national bank of Equestria
1310 AD- 17 deaths traced to gun violence in Manehattan
1311 AD- Mass blackout of power grid
1313 AD- 48 deaths caused by caffeine overdose
1314 AD- believed to have participated in the assassination of Archduke Ferdinass, sparking World War I
1322 AD- Confirmed bombing of Cloudsdale museum, attack on Cloudsdale archives
1326 AD- Selling of illegal “Apples and Oranges” liquor
1329 AD- Collapsed petriculture industry, leaving thousands without jobs
1332 AD- 793 deaths confirmed due to silver poisoning and BB gun violence
1347 AD- Stolen information regarding Manehattan project
1370 AD- Incited mass riots in Las Pegasus over cost of eggs
1386 AD- Bombing of Canterlot Royal Library, Museum, and Theater. Members arrested, imprisoned, tried, and executed.

<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>

Warning: This is for Captains’ eyes only!

Only converse this information with other Alpha levels (captains) or Princess Celestia (omega level).

June 2, 1386 AD- Final report

I can’t believe I’m writing this. I mean, I’m a sane pony, but it only makes sense this way. We are dealing with an entity as undying as the Princess. This thing we’re dealing with isn’t a group of powerful ponies, it’s ONE PONY. Or at least I think it’s a pony. No pony could have survived that many bullets to the head, and yet it did.

Everything, the collapse of the banks and petriculture, to the bombings of Canterlot can be traced back to five bank accounts. Those accounts were opened up by a zebra. The zebra, named Zephyr, could not remember who or what compelled him to make the withdrawals and deposits, or how he ended up with eight tons of explosives in his personal storage.

We later discovered evidence revealing the location of this entity to an underground hideout underneath the Canterlot Opera House carved out of the basement. When our teams entered, we were immediately attacked by a strange bipedal monster with two heads. After much effort and injury, we were able to slay the beast. It was later determined to have originated from the Tartarus gate near the Everfree forest. The entirety of the remains and anything related to it was commandeered. The eccentricity of this case resulted in its transfer to Torchwood.

-Captain Sharp Sword, of the Royal Guard

June 18, 1386 AD

The data is conclusive. This entity is descended from Smart Cookie. It belongs to a mare, but the DNA fragmented before full analysis was complete. The hidden journal discovered in the safe has determined that this entity has knowledge of the censored Equestrian history logs. In it detail Celestia and Equestria’s origin, as well as the beginning half of the first Equestrian Civil War.

The technology discovered here is incredible, with the designs found in a desk, we will be able to increase particle transfer efficiency by 60% and data processing by 220%. This entity, which we have designated U-004, appears genetically identical to an earth pony mare but has been witnessed doing magic and capable of flight. Another discomforting ability is that it is able to deflect enormous amounts of damage with little to no effect.

Whatever U-004 is, she is clearly hostile and dangerous. The circle with dots symbol is probably a reference to Smart Cookie’s cutie mark, of which no record exists. If she believes herself to be Cookie’s heir, than we expect that she is targeting places with relevance to the life and death of Smart Cookie.

Not much is known about Smart Cookie, except what is written in the journal, which is being decrypted and transcribed.

-Commander Hoofer, of Torchwood One

--0o0--

October 26, 1618

Fifty feet underground into the base of Canterlot mountain lies a room. A conference room made completely of welded metal, with titanium screws drilled into six-inch thick steel infused with anti-magic alloys and sound proofed to perfection. Inside the room is a long black table with ten chairs, seven of them filled. The one door entering the room was a four ton piece of engineering more powerful than a team of fifty pegasi, able to withstand tens of thousands of Neightons in force.

And inside this room, the most secretive meeting in Equestria was just beginning.

“ All rise for the Princess!” the scribe shouted.

Five captains and two special agents stood upright with perfect posture. It had been only twenty four hours since Defcon 4 was raised and all alarms in the country sounded. In only twenty hours, the top eight military personnel in Equestria assembled in what was beginning to feel like a minor bomb scare, at least until Princess Celestia walked in.

The Princess was radiant, appearing dimmed only slightly from the day before. While she appeared to shimmer in the pale fluorescent lights of the room, her mane was waving slightly less than normal. The colors remained the same, but the decrease in animation seemed foreboding.

“Please be seated,” Celestia said calmly, “Scribe, please call role.”

“Yes ma’am,” answered Scribe the scribe, a white unicorn with a grey mane and reading glasses, “Everypony, please also remember your passphrases as well. Captain Spitfire of the Wonderbolts.”

“Present, and ready for launching a gratuitous amount of aerial strikes, your highness,” replied the orange and yellow pegasus.

“Captain Cleric Cartmane of the Border guard.”

“Here and willing to serve our increasingly racist agenda against possible immigrants, your majesty,” answered a yellow unicorn mare with a red mane.

“Captain Herald Klaxon of the National Guard.”

“Present ma’am, and ready to kick flank and take names, ma’am,” replied a blue earth pony stallion with a blonde mane.

“Captain Duty Calls of the Civil Guard.”

“Captain Duty Calls present, and ready to arrest all whippersnappers out past seven o’clock, Princess,” an aging green unicorn with a black and white mane said.

“Agent Mulia Mild.”

“Present, and ready to shoot first and ask questions later,” a female donkey with a black mane was the origin of the voice.”

“Agent Joe.”

“Here and ready to spray hot coffee in evildoers’ eyes,” shouted an orange unicorn with a brown mane.

“ Introducing the new captain of the royal guard, Shining Armor.”

“Um… ” a white unicorn stood nervously in front of all the ponies and one donkey in the room, “why do we say these codes again?”

Scribe sighed and pulled out an old, worn out document, “For security reasons, no spy would believe that these codes are the real deal, so we usually make them sound utterly ridiculous. Now please state your code.”

“Okay, I guess… ”

Shining Armor was very nervous. He had only been Captain of the Royal Guard for about six months, and today was his first meeting with the other captains of the military. Since Celestia was admiral in all positions, that meant that the next highest spot was captain, meaning that Shining now took orders directly from the Princess! Sure, he had met her before, but now it was his duty, and he swore on the Equestrian flag to protect and serve the Princess and her citizens.

To his credit, he was doing better than most. On Duty Calls’ first day, he tripped and accidently headbutted the scribe. On Spitfire’s first day, she spilled scalding hot coffee on the scribe, causing severe burns. On Mulia’s first day, she set Scribe’s notepad on fire because she thought he was a spy. By all accounts, Shining Armor was farther ahead on the first day than any of the other equines in the room.

Shining Armor swallowed and saluted, “Ma’am! Captain Shining Armor present and ready for duty, Ma’am! I am ready to skewer all ponies who give you funny looks, Ma’am!”

The rest of the ponies seated at the table looked at him reassuringly, and motioned for him to sit down. Once seated, Princess Celestia began explaining the situation.

“Yesterday, I witnessed several dozen ponies residing in Ponyville proclaiming information about me that was supposed to top secret. After what they yelled, they acted like nothing was wrong,” the Princess sighed, “and then they just continued on without a single thought. It disturbs me that after all this time, Black Ness has returned with such control. I know I have seen little proof of Black Ness, but the knowledge she has could be disastrous to Equestria.”

“How dangerous, Princess? Black Ness has access to nuclear weapons, we have no leads to her, don’t know her capabilities, or her goal. We are dealing with an entity powerful enough to survive Torchwood, disappear into a crowd, and manipulate ponies into doing her bidding. If what you say is true, then we have little hope of stopping her from doing anything.

“She holds all the cards, has the element of surprise, and we have nothing to fight back against with. Princess, what can we do?” Duty Calls asked.

Princess Celestia closed her eyes and drew breath, “There is only one thing we can do. She knows we’re looking for her, so the only reasonable course of action is to look. We must search all corners of Equestria, in all places, even those with no chance of her being there. She expects us to look, so we shall, but not how she would expect.”

“Ma’am, while that does make sense, what you are suggesting is to take all search protocols and rights, and shove them out the window,” Mulia pointed out, “is this what we want? A lack of rights and regulations, arresting ponies for suspicion of terrorism?”

“Well, it is clearly precedent that the safety of ponies is higher than the rights given,” Spitfire rebutted, “besides, we are only arresting ponies if they show clear evidence of involvement.”

“And what pray tell is that, Spitfire?” Captain Herald Klaxon asked, “it’s not like any evidence actually exists of Black Ness, other than what was discovered by Torchwood… ”

The debate between the captains continued, but Celestia was having a hard time concentrating. Ever since the day before, she had been mulling over what she heard. Do you understand the message yet, Soldier Ourania? The words filled her every thought, her brow creasing as she continued drawing breath.

No, I have to stay calm. This is too important to lose control. That mare will not get on my nerves. She is not in charge, I am! This is my country, and I am its solemn ruler! I am ready for you, Black Ness. You will not best me, wherever you are…

Celestia’s eyes widened, her thoughts pacing wildly as an epiphany reached her. She was in Ponyville! That was her goal, of course! The legend of the Elements of Harmony! She needs to get her hooves on the bearers, and to do that she must be hiding in Ponyville. If she isn’t, we’ll be able to catch her allies. If she is, we’ll stop this monster before she can finish whatever plan she’s started.

“... No Spitfire, you can’t have mass inspections of entire provinces without a warrant, even if it is a terrorist! We don’t do that! We can’t, and raising punishment on crime is an entirely different issue, right now, we have to focus on search patterns,” Agent Joe yelled decisively, “The rights of equines can’t just be overruled by-”

“By what, officers of the law? You are a hypocrite, Joe! Last month, you assassinated the Duke of Zebrica because he wanted to raise tariffs on Equestrian wool! When did you get such moral high ground? You’re not better than-”

“Silence! Silence! Silence! Silence! Silence! Silence! Silence! Silence! Silence!”

Everypony looked at the Princess with worry and damaged eardrums as she flared her wings and bellowed the Royal Canterlot voice in an enclosed space. With metal echoing walls. Designed to keep all sound in, never to leave the room. For almost five minutes, the entire structure vibrated, all the ponies in the room with surprised eyes as the just sat.

After the waves of sound has calmed to a slight ring, Joe simply said, “will fall.”

Celestia winced as she heard that phrase, not wanting to remember the past, “My little ponies, sorry for that, but I believe I’ve reasoned Black Ness’s plan. This is what we’ll do… ”

--0o0--

October 28, 1618

Applejack sat in Ponyville Park, a pleasant plot of land surrounding a deep blue lake. Around the water stretches a road of dirt, creating a running track for ponies wanting some fresh exercise.

Applejack wasn’t at the park for exercise, she got enough of that from bucking apples. No, the reason she was there was much different than what she told her friends and family. It was work of the secretive kind, the kind that could get a pony executed. By your choice of firing squad, drop from 10,000 feet, or devoured alive by manticores (lethal injections don’t work when dealing with many different species, and a universal poison is as hard to find as a universal cure-all).

The thought of being executed brought back memories of pain, sadness, and anticipation in Applejack. She tried to remember the first time she was executed by the laws of a sovereign country. It was sometime back in Zebrica…

“Captain Applejack?”

Applejack broke out of her trance as she looked up at the origin of the voice. In front of her was a gray earth pony mare with a black mane. She has a purple treble clef for a cutie mark and had a look of pure indifference on her face.

“Huh? Oh yeah, that’s me,” Applejack replied as her daydream was interrupted.

“What’s the passphrase?” the gray mare asked.

Applejack smiled, “They still do that? Alistair started that as joke, they know that right?”

“Just say it so I can go home.”

“Fine, ahem, Captain Applejack Harkness present, and ready to shoot down all threats with a massive laser cannon,” Applejack said, “Can get the info now, Octavia? ah’m needed at home.”

“Sure, here you go,” Octavia handed Applejack a manilla folder, “Compliments from the other captain.”

“Now, be careful, don’t say the other captain’s name. Our moles in the government really don’t want to go ta jail,” Applejack reminded, “Also tell the guys in Canterlot that ah’ll see em soon, alright?”

“Yes I will, have a pleasant day, Applejack,” Octavia said as she turned to leave, “And say hi to Cheerilee for me!”

“Sure thing, sugarcube, sure thing.”

As the musician-slash-Torchwood agent left, Applejack peeked into the folder. Inside was a sticky note that read:

A,

Looking forward to seeing you on Nightmare Night,

-VS

Applejack smiled as she put the folder into her saddlebags. So they plan to search Ponyville, eh? Well, they won’t expect to see me, hidden in plain sight.

Author's Note

Alternate titles:
Celestia holds a meeting
The only chapter with OCs that have more than two lines
Think Tank
Shining and Spitfire talk with Celestia
Applejack is in trouble
Captains assemble!
The Justice League of Equestria: board meeting

Please don't hate my OCs, they have minor roles and will probably never be shown again

Will the character introductions ever stop? Nope.

Slightly edited: 9/13/2014

Black & Silver

July 1, 1613 AD
(5 years before Nightmare Moon’s return)
Canterlot

“YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS HIGHLY PROBABLE, BUT WILL RESULT IN YOUR TERMINATION.”

“Never! I mean to the assimilation and terminating, not the resistance.”

It happened too quickly. At first she thought she was with her friend’s ghost. After all, for the past three months, ghosts had been appearing all over Equestria, and everypony believed they had good intentions. Why not? No harm was done, the ghosts were incorporeal, and most ponies believed they were dead friends and family.

Aerial Ace was one of those ponies. She had a longing for her lost friend that was deep enough that she quickly fell for the false ghost. But it turned out that all the ghosts were actually Cyberponies, somehow. And because of that grievous mistake, she was going to die.

But not before she took a couple dozen Cyberponies down.

“Gaah!” She screamed. Aerial Ace was fast, her pegasi wings flapping wildly as she kicked the cyborg back and ran to her closet.

“RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILA-”

With all her strength, Ace batted the Cyberpony with her superpowered baseball bat. With a resounding Zap, the bat made contact with attacker’s head.

The Cyberpony jittered as it hit the floor, its sensors and CPU completely overwhelmed, “Thank Luna I kept the Omega bat,” Ace said before getting out of her closet.

“Now, which way to the daycare center?” she asked out loud before stepping outside.

--0o0--

“Why,” Ace zapped a Cyberpony on the street as another attempted to jump her slowly.

“Are there,” She batted the would-be assailant to the side as a trio attempted to halt her.

“So,” Zap. A silver body dropped.

“Many,” Zap. Bang. The second one sputtered as its mainframe short-circuited.

“ROBOTS!?” She swung with all her might, launching the final Cyberpony sixty feet into air. She saw it rocket straight up, then remembered something crucial.

“Oh right, I can fly,” she fluttered her wings and shot up into the air, attempting to reach her destination with haste.

--0o0--

After only three minutes of flying, Aerial Ace was nearing her destination: Canterlot Children’s Play Center. It was an old, yet sturdy building, about two hundred years old. Built over the ruins of Canterlot Royal Museum, it boasted four stories of brick laid on top of brick, cemented using magically created paste. The building was gray, made into a rectangular shape that stood out from the rest of the newer, white domiciles surrounding it.

Aerial Ace began her descent, wielding her weapon in preparation for any more Cyberponies. When she was only 500 yards from the daycare, she immediately stopped.

Something was wrong.

There was an eerie silence surrounding Ace until she heard the rhythmic marching of a squad of Cyberponies. She quickly ducked behind a nearby balcony, and scanned the oncoming group. She saw twelve Cyberponies, in three rows of four, advancing towards a nearby donut shop. Suddenly, Ace heard a scream.

“Aaah!”

The sound pierced the area previously silent, minus Ace’s breathing. Ace thought about her options. Go after the scream, or save Scootaloo?

Reasoning: Scream equals cry for help. Cry for help plus Cyberponies equals Cyber conversion. Cyber conversion equals more Cyber ponies. More Cyber ponies equals more danger for Scootaloo.

Ace charged towards the shop with her baseball bat of zapping power, only to be confronted by six Cyberponies.

“PREPARE FOR ASSIMILATION. COMPLY OR BE TERMINATED.”

“Never! I won’t become one of-”

Ka-Boom!!!

Ace and the Cyberponies looked surprisingly at the source of the explosion. For Ace, she truly felt fear for the life of her daughter. For the Cyberponies, they felt nothing. Just orders to terminate the intruder from the Cyber Controller.

“EXTERMINATE INFERIOR LIFE FORMS!”

One moment Ace was facing off six Cyberponies. The next, she was facing off six Cyberponies and two thousand Daleks.

Ace’s eyes grew in determination, squinting at the otherworldly entities in front of her, “Batter up.”

--0o0--

Aerial Ace had been having the worst day. So far, she had pummeled her way through a dozen Cyberponies while attempting to take her daughter to safety. When she decided to leave the Doctor, she expected a somewhat normal life. And now, she had stepped head first into a war between Cyberponies and Daleks, all which apparently started about two hours ago. She was definitely sure the Doctor was somehow involved.

The Doctor. Maybe I could contact him somehow… Her thoughts were cut short as she hid behind an industrial oven.

“TIME LORD TECHNOLOGY DETECTED! IT IS THE HOOF OF OMEGA!”

Uh oh, that’d be me. She looked down at her bat. Okay, I’ll leave it here while I duck out the back.

“HALT!” A Dalek appeared in front of her, “PEGASUS PONY MATCHES PROFILE OF ONE OF THE DOCTOR’S COMPANIONS! SHE IS OF IMPORTANCE!”

“What, I am? I mean, of course I am! The prof told me all sorts of secrets, like, you know, his plans… and such.”

“ELABORATE!”

“Well, I’d like to, but you see, he only told me to tell you guys if you stopped killing everypony.”

“DALEKS DO NOT NEGOTIATE! ATTEMPTS TO INGRATIATE A DALEK WILL BE MET WITH EXTERMINATION! NOW RESPOND!”

“Okay, so the prof’s got this giant slingshot in the Tardis filled with grade-A plutonium. He plans on launching it into the air, causing all the rats and turtles in Canterlot to mutate into crime-fighting monsters of awesomeness! Then, he, um, plans to summon a demon from Tartarus to challenge you guys to a giant monster battle with skyscrapers. If that didn’t work, he was planning on activating-”

Swoop.

And then, just like that, all the Daleks and Cyberponies were sucked up back into the void by the Doctor and Rose, leaving Ace inside a collapsing donut store filled with the junk scraps of dead Cyberponies.

“Well, that was odd,” Ace remarked as she left the shop. She didn’t know it then, but the Doctor had just saved the world from burning under a million Daleks. Some ponies were dead, but the vast majority of the planet was saved.

--0o0--

July 9, 1608

Following the battle of Canary Wharf, as it was coming to be called, several thousand ponies and other races that had perished in the war had all of their names collected into one list to be broadcast across the globe. On page twenty-seven, numbers one thousand three hundred eighteen and one thousand three hundred nineteen on the list, were the names “Roseluck Tailor” and “Jackie-in-the-pulpit Tailor”.

For many, the grief was terrible. This was much worse than the sycorax invasion, where one-third of the population nearly died. This time, ponies were dead and the death toll kept rising as more bodies were discovered.

Aerial Ace was lucky. Nopony she knew had perished, but many of her friends were saddened by their losses. So for the past week, she and her daughter were together alone at the park, in a secluded area unnoticeable to visitors and covered by dense trees so thick that it was dark.

Nothing could possibly go wrong here. There wasn’t even anything here.

Well, except for a rustling in a nearby bush. Ace didn’t notice it, being occupied by her sleeping foal. The two of them were lying on a picnic spread cloth, taking the time to relax after a stressful week. Or whatever is considered stressful for a three-year old. Another rustle was made. Rustle, rustle. Ace looked around, attempting to pinpoint the location of the sound. Rustle, rustle. Ace stood up, leaving her daughter to dream about bunnies.

A chill ran down her spine as the elder pegasus steadily walked over to a nearby bush. Rustle, rustle. Ace peeked inside the bush, and then-

Something immediately grabbed Ace’s head and covered her mouth. Before she could react, a gas was released, pulling her into sleep…

It smelled like roses.

--0o0--

Ace woke up with a start. She didn’t know what happened, where she was, or how long she had been out, but the only thing that mattered right then was her daughter.

Scootaloo.

Was she safe? Did… whatever it was… take her too? Is she safe? Can she reach for help? Ace’s thoughts whirled around for several minutes as the rose-smelling knockout gas filtered out of her system. Her eyes adjusted to the dark room she was held in, and saw her surroundings.

The room was filled with large cylinders made out of a silver tinted metal, next to each was a small control panel showing bio signs of some sort. Ace could barely make out any of the symbols, but the panels were glowing with a blue tinge that was distracting.

Ace found herself on a table, with her four limbs tied down and her wings seemingly paralyzed. Everything in the room was black, gray, and silver, with the occasional blue flash of color, it was sterile. Cold, unemotional, and mechanical, like a Cyberpony.

Suddenly, Ace heard the sound of metal pounding on metal, she thought she was hearing the beating of a metal pony’s hooves. The noise was familiar, and Ace suddenly recognized it.

I have to get out of here. I do not want to become one of them! I have to find Scootaloo, even if I have defeat an entire Cyber Legion to get to her! Oh please, oh please be fine and safe, don’t be assimilated, she needs me!

Clunk, clunk, clunk.

Ace was beginning to panic, her breathing quickened and sweat began to drip of her forehead as adrenaline rushed through her bloodstream. She had to get out. Now. She swiveled her head, taking in her surroundings. Less than twenty feet from her was a damaged Cyberpony, its rhythmic marching echoing across the room.

Alright, I can do this. If Daring Do can do this, so can I! First, I wiggle out my left hoof, freeing it, then I activate the control panel, causing a distraction. Next, I free my back hooves, kicking the Cyberpony with the right one while using the other to determine my location from my home by activating a GPS in my-

Ka-boom!

The explosion rocked the room, causing the cyborg to stumble slightly, but immediately straightened itself. Surprisingly, the hole in the wall created was circular and glowing red hot. A faint figure appeared entering the hole, as if through a wonderful portal to another realm. Right now, anything was better than a Cyberpony lair.

The rest of the room was shocked, but the metal cylinders were intact. Before Ace could do anything, her vision blanked out, just as the Cyberpony’s hoof reached her…

But before she felt the cold steel of the Cyberpony, she heard a clanking sound. What was happening?

“YOU WILL BE DELETED.”

“Not if ah can-”

ZZapp!! Thud.

Ace heard a body drop to the floor. Great. Just great. The cavalry comes, and is immediately killed. This day just keeps getting-

“Yeargh! Ow, that hurt! You guys could at least use yellow lightning, that doesn’t hurt as much. But blue!?”

“DELETE.”

Zzap!! Thud.

Okay, now she’s dead. Maybe I could activate my GPS now that-

“Whoa! Haha, ah am not that easy to delete mister, now ah’ll give ya one chance to surrender or else-”

“DELETE.”

Zap!! Thud. Again.

I’m just gonna wait. Any second now. Right about now-

“Arrgh! Would stop doin' that!? It’s starting to burn my clothes, and ah only have six more long coats.”

“YOUR APPARENT IMMUNITY TO ELECTROCUTION IS NOTED. PREPARE FOR MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF APPLIED PRESSURE.”

“Wait. Wait a second, applied what?”

“APPLYING EIGHT HUNDRED KILO PASCALS OF PRESSURE.”

“Oh hay no! That ain’t happenin’.”

Ace heard a faint whirring sound and multiple hoofbeats before a third voice screamed into room, “Eat my golden fury!”

Ace, while unable to see what was occurring, and could make out the faint wave of energy passing through her body. Then she heard a whirring noise that sputtered until it stopped. Ace struggled against her bindings, but couldn’t free herself.

“Is that her?”

“Eeyup, that’s her. Aerial Ace, companion to the seventh Doctor, dragon slayer, bringer of really big explosions,and all around badass. She’s also the mother of Scootaloo, which is why we’re here.”

“I still don’t understand your preoccupation with the filly. She seems normal enough-”

Ace was suddenly furious, with all her might she screamed at ponies, “Stay away from my daughter, whoever you are! I know kung fu!!”

“Really? Well so do I! We should spar sometime, but not right now. Let me try to undo this strap…” Ace felt hooves loosening the straps on the table, when both of her forehooves were free, she immediately reached for the nearest face and pulled her in close.

“WHERE. IS. MY DAUGHTER!?” Ace demanded furiously. Both of her hooves were gripping the long coat of her savior, who was also a potential kidnapper.

“Whoa whoa whoa, hold up now. She’s fine, doesn’t even know what happened. She’s at yer house with yer husband, alright? Now, ah’m here because you were in trouble, and ah wanted ta stop it. Any more questions?”

Ace hesitated, wondering whether the mare was lying or not. But at this moment, she was in a position with no power, partially strapped to a table and blinded. She had no choice but to work with this pony, whatever her true intentions were, “Why am I blind? Who are you and why are you interested in me and Scootaloo?”

“First off, my name is Captain Applejack, the new leader of Torchwood, after ninety-five percent of the staff died. Yer blind ‘cause my vortex manipulator leaves ponies it deems dangerous blind ta protect mah identity, and the feature keeps malfunctioning. Lastly, ah’m interested in ya because ah’m roundin’ up as many time-resistant ponies as ah can,” Applejack responded.

“Time resistant ponies?”

“Basically, ponies that’ve traveled with the Doctor, such as you an’ me, have some weird vibe that affects our position in the timeline, ah’ll explain later.”

“Wait a minute, if you really traveled with the Doctor, then answer me this: Why does the Tardis make the noise?”

“Something ta do with the brakes, ah reckon. ‘Course, it could just be ‘cause it’s so old.”

“Well… I guess I can sort of trust you, after all, companions stick together, right?” Ace asked hopefully.

Applejack merely smiled, “Right.”

--0o0--

October 29, 1618

“And that Cheerilee, is how ah met DJ-PON3,” Applejack finished her overly long story of days gone by.

Cheerilee raised a single eyebrow, with a look of befuddlement on her face, “So when exactly did you meet her? All you rambling about were Cyberponies and Aerial Ace! Also, Scootaloo’s mother was a companion?! The hay is with this mad conspiracy?”

“Well, ya see back then-”

“Stop. Just stop. I have been listening to this story for almost an hour, so can you please just sum up your actual meeting with Vinyl Scratch? I have papers to grade, and whatever crazy job you got planned for tomorrow.”

“Fine, spoil the surprise, why don’t ya. Remember that Cyberpony that zapped me three times?”

“Yeah?” Cheerilee’s look was simply incredulous and annoyed, with a noticeable frown leaving her lips and into the tone of her monosyllabic response.

“That’s Vinyl Scratch.”

Cheerilee froze and uttered the most basic response in one syllable, “What.”

“Eeyup. Ya know how ya can’t fix a Cyberpony because they had their brains removed and implanted into a robot body? Well, during the whole craziness of that day, what with the Daleks and suburban warfare goin’ on, the Cyberponies began rush conversions, wrappin’ whole bodies in armor and turnin’ them into cyborgs all in one go.

“It worked too, but some side effects included ponies resistin’ the upgrades, just enough so that any of them left over were spendin’ hours fightin’ themselves just ta convert one more pony to their side. At the rate they were upgrading, they would’ve died out by the end of the decade.

“But not before takin’ lives. Aerial Ace was an example. Way back when, in mah timeline, Ace died after fighting a bunch o’ aliens to protect Scootaloo, leavin’ her an orphan. Ah couldn’t stand that, so ah saved Ace from dying, then ah convinced her to move here, to Ponyville, hometown to others like her, companions to the Doctor and their descendants.

“Ponies who can withstand the blowing of the timeline, so when ah show mah hand, Princess Celestia will have ta give in. Ah’ve seen the future, ah’ve lived it, and it ain’t pretty. When ah finally confront her, ah would’ve already won.”

This gave Cheerilee a lot to think about, her thoughts swirling as she digested what she was told. Finally, she decided to ask a question, “What do you mean ‘blowing of the timeline’? Is it some sort of anchor, or…?”

“It’s more like a beacon, or a lighthouse. With this many ponies connected to the Doctor, he’s either bound to show up, or any one of his enemies, and when that happens, things get more chaotic. Mah current goal is ta bring this place into Discord’s interest, and then from there, ah can start bringing about the change ah need.”

“What change are you going to do? You mentioned the ‘brighter future’, what is it?”

“Ya know, ah’ll tell ya one day, but it’s hard ta work up the feelings fer it. It’s painful, s’all ah can say. But, maybe after we stop it, ah’ll tell ya what ah saw. But trust me when ah say you don’t want to be there and then.”

“It was that bad?”

“It was shiny, ah’ll tell ya that, with lens flares all over the place, and teleporters! Don’t get me started on the teleporters! Also, we had a moon ponies. An honest-to-goodness city on the moon! It was beautiful,or will be, but it hid some pretty nasty things.”

“It’s alright, you can tell me, I mean, if you want,” Cheerilee tried her best to comfort the immortal in front of her, amazed by what she’s heard. Applejack blinked back tears as she began to remember, the memories she held back flooding her.

“Ah-ah miss them, mah friends. There was Zircon, and Genna, and Neighsumi, and Trotty, and Crystal, and-and the others from back then. It’s hard ya know, this is the fifth time ah had a wonderful group of friends. But you Cheerilee, are the first pony ah’ve confided in fer almost four hundred years. Ah trust ya, because if ah trust mah future with, ah can trust ya with mah past.”

Applejack had tears flowing down her cheeks by now, her eyes pink from the tears. Cheerilee simply replied, “It’s alright, the past and future aren’t things you have to worry about yet. It’s not happening anytime soon, just enjoy your present.”

“Ah do, but when ya know yer past is the world’s future, it worries me when ah see things go the wrong way. Ever since ah learned the truth about about the origins of this world, especially Equestria, ah figured, if ah’m gonna reach the future eventually, ah might as well make it better. But for some reason, things played out the same way after ah thought ah fixed them.

“It took me two hundred years to figure out how to make everything work, but ah screwed up so much along the way.”

“Like what?”

“Originally, there were five founders of Equestria.”

“Wow. I don’t, that just, I mean, whoa.”

“Eeyup, ah screwed up the timeline so much, ah’m surprised it’s still moving.”

“Yeah, wow, so… about Vinyl Scratch… ”

“First off, she’s got a marefriend.”

Cheerilee blushed hard, “What!? No, no, I wasn’t asking about that!”

Applejack snorted and grinned widely, her eyes still pink, but appearing soft and warm, “Ah know, just pullin’ yer tail. So what did ya want to ask?”

Cheerilee composed herself as she asked, “Are you sure we can trust her?”

Author's Note

FINALLY! IT'S DONE!!! Oh, I can finally work on the chapters with random jokes now!!!

First, Ace is the Seventh Doctor's companion from Classic Doctor Who, her baseball bat was given super powers by the Hand of Omega in 1988's Remembrance of the Daleks. Here she is a badass momma bear to Scootaloo.

Second, I noticed in the past four days I got two upvotes and two downvotes, any explanation? Also if you're going to vote, please tell what I'm doing right, and what I'm doing wrong. (Is it because AJ's a terrorist?)

Third, OH GOD THE FEELS. RIGHT IN YOUR HEART. FEEL IT BURN AS YOU SHED TEARS OF CONFUSION AS YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT AJ IS TALKING ABOUT.

Fourth and lastly, Chekhov's Gun strikes again!

Please comment. I like comments.

Slightly edited: 9/13/2014

The Vault

October 30, 1618
Sweet Apple Acres Adjacent Barn-Beta-7

“Applejack, why are you and Miss Cheerilee meetin’ out by the old barn?” a small yellow filly asked Applejack as they walked towards the old barn.

“Apple Bloom, ah told ya, she and ah are meetin’ fer some business discussions, and the barn’s the best place for it.” Not exactly lying, this is technically business.

“But Applejack, why can’t ya just meet in the kitchen?”

“‘Cause Granny’s in the middle of baking a pie, so ah didn’t want ta bother her. Now quit pesterin’ me, ah got work ta do.”

“What are you gonna talk about?”

“Bunch of things, ah suppose. We’re plannin’ stuff out ahead of time, ‘specially fer the winter. Now, why don’tcha go play with yer friends?”

“But Sweetie Belle’s busy with Rarity about some fashion thing, and Scootaloo’s been havin’ nightmares.”

“Now what do nightmares have anything ta do with playing?”

“She’s all tired and tryin’ ta get sleep, so she won’t do anything.”

“Well, ya could try bein’ Cutie Mark Crusaders Insomnia fixers,” Applejack mused.

“Insomni-wha?”

“Ya know, lack of sleep, ah hear Rainbow Dash has that sometimes, maybe it’s tha reason she sleeps so much.”

Apple Bloom’s eyebrows furrowed for a second, as her mouth twisted with concentration. A second later, confusion switched to a wide grin as she took a deep breath and bellowed, “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS INSOMNIA FIXERS! YAY!”

With frightening speed, she turned around and galloped away, hoping to help her friend get some rest. As the little filly sped away from the farm, another pony trotted towards it. Applejack smiled as she saw the familiar purple coat of her “sister’s” teacher.

“Good mornin’ Cheerilee!” Applejack hollered at the mare, “Get over here, we’re burnin’ sunshine!”

“Wouldn’t that be ‘sunlight’, Applejack?” Cheerilee replied in an attempt to prevent another awkward heart-to-heart about Applejack’s tragic and depressing past. Seriously, she knows about three minutes worth of it, and she’s already feeling sad.

“Eenope. Sunshine because sunlight is fer plants, and sunshine is fer ponies and certain species of owls.”

“Owls hunt at night.”

“That’s what they want ya ta think.”

Cheerilee resisted the urge to facehoof in front of her “boss”. The fact that Applejack was carrying saddlebags full of pond water didn’t really help. Applejack shifted her weight, causing the water to make a sploosh!

“Why do you have pond water on your back?”

“Why don’t you?”

“Nevermind. Let’s just wait here for Vinyl Scratch the Mega Death Robot to come and help us with her electroshock hooves.”

“Now that’s just mean!” Slosh. “First off, she’s a cyborg, not a robot. There is a clear and distinct difference.” Splosh. “And ah’ll have ya know she has not killed anypony on purpose in the past six weeks! She’s gettin’ better, and I don’t yer snarky attitude bringin’ her hopes down, jus’ ‘cause she’s different!” Splash. “Fer shame, Cheerilee, if ah knew how intolerant ya’re about miscellaneous creatures, you wouldn’t be a member of this here alien huntin’ club.”

“Yeesh, I’m just worried about the safety of Ponyville, no need to get your immortal flank up in a twist.”

“Listen, today’s gonna be a team building exercise, ‘cause the two o’ ya are gonna be in perfect synch before our mission. Understood?”

“... Fine, but if she starts speaking in all caps, I’m shooting her,” Cheerilee said nonchalantly.

“Alright, but ya gotta warn her first,” Applejack answered, “She should be here right about now…”

“Maybe she bailed on us and decided to assimilate some random pedestrians.”

“Aw come on, don’t be like that, she’s gonna be fine- wait, ah think that’s her!” Applejack squinted her eyes as reached into her hat for a pair of binoculars, “That might be her! Unicorn, white coat, funny lookin' cloak, and purple sunglasses. Definitely her!”

As the mare got closer, Applejack saw an old friend and past lover (*wink wink nudge nudge*) returning from a long stint away.

What Cheerilee saw was less poetic. As the pony in question approached the duo, Cheerilee noticed the silver skin underneath her white fur, the patchwork stitches across her legs, and the odd discoloration around her left eye. Closer examination revealed that it was a robotic implant, appearing to beep every few minutes.

Applejack rushed up to Vinyl and immediately brought her into a hug, “Aw, ah missed ya Vinyl! How ya been?” Applejack pulled her in for a noogie.

Vinyl Scratch grinned as Applejack noogied her, “I've been great! Nothing like new co-workers to brighten the mood.”

Applejack let go of Vinyl and smiled, “And how are Trixie n’ Gilda? They aren’t givin’ ya trouble?”

“Nah, they’re fine, though Gilda’s kinda grumpy.”

Applejack pointed towards Cheerilee, “Oh! I’d like ya ta meet Cheerilee, she’s gonna be our new PR pony. Cheerilee, this is Vinyl Scratch, aka DJ-PON3, our administrator.”

Vinyl held out her hoof to Cheerilee, “Nice to meet you, Cheerilee, I hope we can work well together.”

Cheerilee was torn. Should she accept her friendship? Maybe just as co-workers would be fine… for now. She took Vinyl’s hoof and gave it a shake, “Yeah, I hope so too.”

“Great! Now that we’re all warm and ready, let’s go to the Vault!” Applejack grabbed the two mares’ shoulders and pulled them towards the barn, “Personally, ah think ah’m gonna do some remodeling, but ah need some second and third opinions on the matter!”

Cheerilee and Vinyl were equally surprised as their commanding officer pulled them into what appeared to be a dirty old barn with peeling paint. Cheerilee’s eyes gave Vinyl all the unspoken communication to ask: Where are we going? Vinyl’s response with her shoulders told everything: I have no idea.

“This is gonna be great, ah spent the last century workin’ on this place, and now ah can finally show it again ta ponies! No more spendin’ hours in here alone with nothing ta talk to, whooee, you guys are gonna have a blast!” Applejack said as she dragged the two into the large vacant room filled with hay.

Inside the old barn was an empty room, with large wooden doors capable of holding several parade floats and a carriage. Other than some scant supplies lying around, there wasn't much.

“Umm, Applejack? What vault?” Cheerilee dared ask, worried about her boss’s mental stability.

“Just… give me… a second… Where is that darn button?” Applejack looked around several bales of hay, until she stopped next to the back door, “Right! Now ah remember where ah moved it!”

Applejack pushed several screws in the door until the floor started glowing a light blue. Cheerilee and Vinyl looked in awe as the floor beneath them separated into a large hole, thirty feet by fifty feet across. A staircase appeared with slow anticipation, leading downwards into a deep chamber with a light at the end.

After several seconds, with Cheerilee’s jaw gaping open coming to a close as she steadied herself, “Okay, I did not expect that to be our meeting place.”

Applejack was already trotting down the stairs as she grabbed a torch off the walls, “You two gonna keep gawkin’ or are ya gonna follow me?”

Vinyl and Cheerilee started as the orange mare disappeared down the flight of stairs. They quickly galloped down with her.

--0o0--

The three mares were in a deep cavernous hallway, lit only by the torch Applejack was carrying. The endless corridor was made of a gray stone that was cold to the touch. Vinyl swore she heard something dripping.

“Alright, rule number one about the Vault: Don’t. Touch. Anything. You will die. This place was built specifically fer me. As the only immortal not running a country, ah deal with anything and everything that would kill a normal pony in an instant.”

Vinyl snorted, “I’m not exactly a normal pony.”

You got that right. Cheerilee commented mentally.

“Eeyup, but yer still mortal,” Applejack responded as they reached the end of the hallway. In front of them was a large black door with no visible markings of any kind, “Ah had this imported from Amareica, seein’ as they didn’t need it anymore. One hundred percent pure dwarf star alloy, nothing in the universe can penetrate this, except time machines and anyone with the key.”

She put her hoof on the door. Within seconds, a blue glow surrounded her hoof as the glow spread across the door in a brick layering fashion. The “bricks” in the door slowly moved to reveal an opening into a lit chamber. Applejack smiled and entered, followed by the two ponies behind her.

“Welcome, fillies and Cyberponies to the Vault. Don’t forget yer hats and jackets when you leave, ‘cause you ain’t gettin’ them back.”

Inside was an orange-brown room, lit by a strange glow coming from the ceiling. The room itself was thirty feet tall, and about as spacious as an American football field. To the sides were strange objects kept inside glass cases, and occasionally, large metal boxes sealed tightly.

This time, Applejack did not wait for her friends to stop staring at her vast underground archive of ancient alien artifacts. She simply walked around pointing at things.

“Over to our left is the Lullaby, a magic flute whose music will kill anybody who hears it. Over on our right is a giant block of granite that eats you alive. And over there is a magic mirror leadin’ to another world. Usually post apocalyptic wastelands filled with zombies. Don’t worry, most of the stuff here is caged, so you guys’ll be fine.”

Cheerilee was purely dumbfounded as she looked at the artifacts surrounding her. Ancient weapons of doom, strange beings of the apocalypse, and… a metal box?

“Ah, here we are,” Applejack stopped in front of the five feet by five feet and six feet tall box, heavily chained to the floor, with what appeared to be an airlock. She typed in a password, heard a click, then proceeded to open the door, “Now you two stay here, ah’m gonna be dealin’ with mah number one patient. And no matter how much ah scream in agony, don’t come in. You will die. Ah won’t. Ah’ll be out in about five minutes.”

She entered the doorway into the box, locked it, and pulled out of her saddlebags her containers of pond water. Cheerilee couldn’t see what happened next, but noticed an inscription on the box:

“Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.”

Cheerilee and Vinyl looked at each other, then back at the inscription. They didn't say anything, but decided to step back and look at something else.

“My eyes!” A scream was heard from the box, presumably Applejack's, so the two mares decided not to ask.

Cheerilee looked around until she saw a familiar file cabinet. Huh, guess Applejack moved it here after I went snooping in her office. She went towards the top drawer, and pulled it open. Inside it were the same folders and files from before, but there were a couple of new additions. The first one she saw was labeled “Pinkamena Diane Pie- U-003”. Another one was labeled “Project Ourania”, and a third was labeled “Nightmare Moon, Incident file”.

Cheerilee decided to not look inside the files, instead opting for another one, labeled "U-004". She opened the folder and glanced at the image shown. It depicted a picture of an unknown pony shrouded by fog and shrapnel, covered in many bruises and cuts. The underlying description read: The only known photograph of Black Ness. Identity of the entity is still unknown.

She looked around and saw scribbles in Applejack’s hoofwriting: I cannot believe they missed the hairs I left on the cactus by accident. That was the luckiest break ever. Along the right side, she saw a list of crimes committed by Black Ness… an immortal mare... who hates Princess Celestia... just like her boss.

Okay, don’t panic now. Breathe. Take a deep breath. There’s got to be an explanation for all this. Yeah, an explanation, that’s it. Maybe it’s a prank or some big misunderstanding. Cheerilee had started to calm down as her mind raced back and forth. Okay, you know what? I’m just going to ask. It’s fine, just a misunderstanding-

“What’cha reading?” Vinyl Scratch popped up behind Cheerilee.

“Eeep!” Cheerilee rocketed forward, barely stopping herself in front of a strange jar, “Don’t do that! My goodness, you almost scared the cutie mark off me!”

Vinyl merely grinned, and looked at the files Cheerilee was gripping hard in her hooves. Vinyl’s mouth shifted into a more neutral position, her robotic eye whirring at the picture.

“Hmm, so you found out about Applejack’s criminal record. You scared?”

Cheerilee sputtered as she attempted to regain her composure, failing as her thoughts ran wild with the revelation.

“S’alright. I was scared too, at least until I actually read the whole review. Look at page seven. ‘Deaths caused by caffeine overdose’? ‘Mass riots over the cost of eggs’? Sure some of this stuff is serious, but if you look closely, you’ll notice a pattern. You see it yet?”

Cheerilee looked down at the folder, glaring deep into the reports as she noticed said pattern. It took effort, but became glaringly obvious when one thought about it. How come it this long for me to notice?

Vinyl smiled as Cheerilee’s mouth gaped open, her mind connecting the dots, “Yeah, it takes a while but once you see it, you can never take it seriously again.”

Cheerilee’s lips twisted into a smile as her eyes opened wide, “Dear Celestia, it makes sense now,” she said between giggles.

“Yeah, Applejack is actually annoyed by this stuff, but it’s hilarious!” Vinyl replied. Both of the mares laughed as she read aloud from the file, “‘Illegal selling of liquor’? Who the hay is she, Al Capony?”

Applejack stepped out of the metal chamber with what appeared to be second degree burns. She turned around a corner towards her coworkers, “Alright you two, stop whatever fightin’ or runnin' from whatever abomination you two unleashed-”

“Considering how old she is, she might as well be. Oh my Celestia! They think she caused the Great Depression! My sides hurt so-o much,” Cheerilee laughed hard as she rolled across the floor, tears streaming from her eyes.

“Look, they ‘executed’ her five times! What did they do, shoot her, wait two minutes and shoot her again?” Vinyl Scratch chortled as her cybernetic implants flashed erratically.

The two ponies laughed hard as they continued reading. Applejack stood there for a minute with a slightly annoyed look on her face. Eventually, Applejack cleared her throat to get their attention, “Ahem.”

The two laughed quietly as they calmed themselves and stood back up. Applejack decided to continue, “Well, I guess the two of you are now acquainted with my criminal record. Yeah, it’s a real riot, but that right there is the ‘public statement’. Look at page nineteen, and we’ll see if ya keep laughin’.”

The two smirked at each other and turned the folder to page nineteen. They began skimming the page with a feeling of mirth. Halfway through, they begin taking it seriously, reading quickly but taking in the words with a fearful look in their eyes.

...Black Ness has been connected to fourteen cases of serial killings in Equestria, and eight cases of mass murder and genocide across the globe. This entity is not to be messed with. We have never lost a member of the guard to her, but our luck may run out. Black Ness is to be elevated on the most wanted list from eleven to four, effective immediately. We are to double resources into Black Ness’s capture…

The two mares looked at their captain with fear on their eyes, as Applejack walked to a nearby glass case. They continued staring at her as she opened the container in front of her. Inside it was a black notebook with its title scratched off. Next to it was an even larger book, titled “The Big Black Book of Serial Killers in Equestria, 1300-1800 AD”.

Applejack placed the two books on a nearby stand, and opened up the larger and read from a place she had bookmarked, “October 31st, 1618, the Delightful Killer kills her first pony in an act of revenge, in the Ponyville Spa, via drowning. The body was discovered one year later during Winter Wrap Up.”

Applejack closed the book and looked up at her colleagues and asked sternly, “Now are you two gonna keep horsin’ around, or are ya gonna help me prevent a murder?”

Author's Note

Mood Whiplash. One second you're laughing, the next, BAM! Serial killer hunting.
You know that part in the description about a secret paramilitary base hidden underneath the family barn? Here it is.

I had this idea for a while now, it's sort of like the Minority Report, but with time travel instead. There won't be gore, but a lot of Torchwood-y intense subject matter.

This is not the first fan work where Cheerilee is paranoid about Cyborg/robots. Seriously.

Also, references. Try to guess them all.
First one: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Literature/TheUglyBarnacle

Also, sorry I'm late with this, Christmas and all that. I'm about half done with Chapter 8, though.

Slightly edited: 9/13/2014

[Title Corrupted]

Case File PP-314-1592654

Subject known as U-003

Unknown Equine Abomination Class Three, otherwise known as U-003, is an entity that takes the form of a mare. There is/are currently [Classified] in existence. One of which resides in Ponyville, Boeshane province, Equestria. The other(s) are located in [Classified].

Do not attempt to trigger Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome. Any attempt to purposely initiate CMFIS in a known U-003 is punishable by death. No exceptions.

U-003 is an Equine-like being which appears similar to a normal female pony, but with several key differences. First and foremost is the ability to partially or (rarely) completely defy the laws of physics. Notable occurrences include staying afloat in midair with no source of magic, weather, or other explainable phenomenon. Such occurrences have been dubbed “Type-Three events”.

Type-Three Events recognized and catalogued:

Nullification or manipulation of the laws of physics

Non-Unicorn Teleportation

Temporarily modifying/adding/subtracting of own and others’ body parts

Defying laws of metabolism and biology

Short range prognostication

[Alpha level clearance required]

[Alpha level clearance required]

[Alpha level clearance required]

There have been [Classified] U-003s recorded in these files the first of which, [Classified], was instrumental in the founding of [Classified]. Leader of the [Classified] tribe, she was known for her eccentric personality and [Alpha level clearance required]. See report KL-789.

<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>

Warning: This is for Captains’ eyes only!
Only converse this information with other Alpha levels (captains) or Princess Celestia (omega level).

January 2, [Access Denied]

She knew we were coming. When we learned about her abilities, we were sure to take extra precautions. Our studies into pony abilities determined that initiating Cutie Mark failure in a normal pony causes a breakdown in personality and magical prowess. You would think that her cutie mark was what got her to become a leader. We were wrong.

We burned down the city to start the process. Her cutie mark was about being a leader, and so we destroyed what she held most dear. Then we traveled to Platinum Palace to confront her. When we reached the palace, we expected an army protecting her. We were eight hundred and she was one, and I am the only survivor.

We had one hundred pegasi bombers, pelting the palace with incendiary explosives. We tried aiming for her, but she dodged every single shot. Our unicorns attempted to shoot her with magic, but she spun and danced her way through our offense as if it was nothing. Then she saw what we did to the city.

The horrors I witnessed can never be properly explained on paper, but I am telling you now, warning everypony now, so that this may never be repeated. I saw the ground turn molten as the fires of Tartarus itself appear before me. All eight hundred of us were judged by our maker that day, and we were all deemed guilty. The only reason I am still alive is so that I can warn you never to repeat these actions again.

Apparently, after I collapsed from the pain, a pillar collapsed onto [Classified], knocking her out. She was later detained and [Classified] while the workers rescued me from the wreckage. I have survived, and what I know must be remembered for all of history.

She had kids, you know that? That being, not even a pony anymore, an equine abomination, had kids! We lost track of them. We got one of them, but the others escaped. We have to be prepared, these hellspawn could bring about the end of Equestria itself.

We thought that Clover the Clever or Commander Hurricane was the most powerful of the main six, but she was so powerful, that if we didn’t stop her, she could have taken down General Ourania! I am not exaggerating, I believe, that for all her might, Ourania could fall to one of these abominations. I don’t know what we should do, but at the very least we have to learn more about what we’re up against.

We have to learn and adapt, harmony cannot be achieved this way. We are fighting against enemies unknown. You are not going to listen to me until it is too late. We need to build an institution, one that can fight back and prepare for the future.

It may be years before something of this magnitude happens again, and yet the nightmare I endured may one day become reality and return.

-Lieutenant Birchwood, of the First Battalion

--0o0--
December 24, 1618

"But Big Mac, why doesn't Applejack ever come out on Hearth's Warming Eve? Can't she just leave her room?"

"Eenope, yer sis is in there by choice. She's mournin'."

"Why is she mourning?"

"Ah don't rightly know, but it's her business. As long as ah knew her, she kept this time to herself, so best not to budge in."

"...Okay Big Mac, but could we at least exchange Hearth's Warming gifts together? Ah got her a new bow for her fiddle."

"Ah guess it's up to her. We'll see."

"She's like this every year. Who's she even mournin' anyway?"

"She doesn't talk about them, but they were very dear ta her."

"Okay, ah guess," Apple Bloom frowned as she looked at her sister's bedroom door. It was silent other than the ruffling of papers.As the two left the upstairs, Applejack was sitting in her room, looking over as set of drawings and old documents. Next to her were some old books with the labels "Diary no. 12" increasing in number until stopping at "Diary no. 25".

She didn't do anything except stare at the drawings. Applejack then decided to stand up. She went to her bed and sat down on it. She laid down on her pillow and stared at the ceiling. For almost five minutes she didn't do anything, but finally whispered, "ah'll avenge you guys one day."

She closed her eyes and remembered the days of old. She remembered the snow and stories. She remembered the adventures and politics. She even remembered the very first Hearth's Warming...

For the first time in one hundred years, Captain Applejack Harkness decided to go downstairs and enjoy Hearth's Warming Eve with her family.

--0o0--
December 25, 1618

A massive crystal star floated over the city of Canterlot, it hovered gently over the general marketplace. All the ponies in the square looked up in awe at the massive structure, wondering what it was. Before any of them could ask, the star shot lightning out of its sides, burning the buildings and homes around the marketplace.

All the ponies in the square promptly panicked. Chaos ensued as the star destroyed entire buildings and reduced stores to rubble. In the entire incident, only one pony was able to call the guard.

Beep.

“Hello, Canterlot Emergency Dispatch, how may I take your-”

“Ohmygosh help we’re all gonna die! Send somepony! Gaah! We’re in the marketplace at fifth street and-!”

Beeeeeep…

--0o0--

“We have orders from Herald Klaxon himself! Fire magic missiles!”

Fifty-eight unicorns fired from their horns at the abomination. The star was only slightly damaged, so the orders continued.

“Fire ballistics!”

Sixty earth ponies and forty pegasi fired from their cannons. Built to take down aircraft, they were strong enough to further damage the unknown enemy.

“Stallions, load the striker!”

The remaining soldiers put their efforts to wind up a large artillery weapon, put in several hundred pounds of payload, and released the safety.

“Fire!”

The result was spectacular. The explosives did their work, ripping the crystal star from the inside, as fire rained down in a torrent of flames and sparks. The crowd of ponies cheered as the alien spacecraft crashed to the ground in an earth shattering thud.

--0o0--
December 26, 1618

Trans Equestria Chronicle

Massive Crystal Star Wreaks Havoc in Canterlot

Just last night, an enormous spacecraft destroyed large portions of downtown Canterlot, resulting in the deaths of dozens. The death count is rising, but is probably floating around fifty.

The star was destroyed thanks to the quick thinking of Captain Herald Klaxon, head of the national guard, who was on leave in Canterlot that night. Klaxon was able to take command of the troops, as all other high ranking officers were not in the city at the time. He was able to put together a working attack squad that shot down the star. Herald Klaxon was unavailable for comment, tending to the wounds of the civilians hurt in the incident.

While it has not been clear, it was stated by Klaxon’s aides that the attack was an attempt by the terrorist group “Black Ness” to scare the populace into following the group’s will. Princess Celestia has since raised the alert for the country to Defcon 3.

Herald Klaxon, among several other ponies, civilian and soldiers alike, are due to receive honors for their quick thinking and bravery in the incident. The ceremony will be set in early January, shortly before a service for all that died.

--0o0--

December 26, 1618

Dear Diary,

Buck you guys. Buck all you jerks! I did not send an alien spacecraft to blow up ponies in a random marketplace. Herald Klaxon better watch his back, because I am gonna get him for this. In a totally nonviolent way, I might add!

It’s bad enough ponies died (I’m get Vinyl’s head for this!), but now they’re blaming me!? What in the hay does blowing up a market even do, it doesn’t even make sense from any normal standpoint. Seriously, I am having Octavia triple the system parameters for surveillance. They missed a freaking alien spacecraft piloted by a giant spider!

I swear, UNIT is going to be all over my flank about this “incident”.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
January 4, 1619

The ceremony was a public affair, but was subdued enough not to warrant the appearance of Princess Cadance and the Elements of Harmony. Despite that, both Celestia and Luna were there, as well as Captain Shining Armor, who had just returned from a trip to the east. Other than that, there was a crowd of several hundred, most from Canterlot, but many also from the nearby cities.

The ceremony was being held in Canterlot Castle’s throne room, which is also the multipurpose ceremony/gala/any-other-event room. The room was decorated with the symbols of the National and Royal Guards, the two divisions of the military that aided in bringing down the crystal star. Of the one hundred and fifty-nine soldiers involved that fateful evening, four of them were to be honored for exceptional bravery.

In that group was Herald Klaxon, Captain of the National Guard. He is an earth pony with a well cut blonde mane and a blue coat. He was in his captain’s dress uniform, which covered his entire body except for his head and neck. Ever since the ceremony began, he had a look of confidence and satisfaction about his body. His entire being seemed to radiate all-that-is-good.

In the center, in front of a white podium, Princess Celestia tapped her throat before speaking, “My little ponies, please rise for this momentous occasion. Today we honor the brave stallions and mares who gave up so much for protecting our way of life during the unprovoked attack ten days earlier. First, in memory of the fifty-six casualties, the members of the Canterlot Art Society have erected a monument to be placed in the Canterlot Royal Garden.”

Many ponies in the crowd cheered while stomping their hooves, while several other openly sobbed at the wonderful gesture from the Princess. Celestia continued as soon as the applause died down, “Secondly, I would like to award the medal of patriotism to the one hundred and fifty-eight soldiers who so valiantly protected our nation and capital from enemies unknown. Please rise, the honorable twelfth battalion!”

This time, the applause came down like thunder. The news reporters snapped picture after picture, like flashes of lightning raining down on the ponies in the grand hall. As the servants handed the medals to the soldiers, Princess Celestia herself came and shook the hoof of each and every one of her faithful soldiers. After a solid hour of applause and flashing cameras, Celestia returned to her podium.

“Next, I would like to bestow honor to the seven civilians who bravely protected others from the monstrosity that terrorized us. And another round of applause to Gilda the Griffon, of the Griffon Empire, for her valuable help in the investigation of Black Ness!”

The crowd erupted again as Princess Celestia handed out the highest level of award a non-soldier could receive to the seven ponies, as well as the highest award a non-pony could receive to Gilda. Once again, as the roaring stomps died down, Celestia finished her speech.

“Citizens of Equestria, valiant soldiers, esteemed guests of other nations, this last award goes to a pony, far out of his depth, who quickly took command of unfamiliar soldiers, who thanks to his quick thinking and fearlessness, defeated a monster of immense scale. I give all of you today, Captain Herald Klaxon of the National Guard!”

The response was unheard of. Mostly because no one could hear it. It was so loud, enormous and sudden that everyone within two hundred feet of the castle was taken aback by the standing ovation. Every single pony in the audience was cheering for the brave captain, bringing the award ceremony to a satisfying conclusion.

--0o0--

An hour after the ceremony ended, Captain Klaxon approached Princess Celestia while she was returning to her throne. The entire hall was now empty except for the two ponies and several on-duty royal guards.

“Your Highness?” Klaxon politely asked.

Princess Celestia turned around and looked at the captain, a quizzical look on her face, “Yes? What is it that you would like to speak with me about?”

“Ma’am, that griffon you awarded today, she gave me this data file earlier, and I was shocked when I learned what it contained.”

“And what would that be, my little pony?”

“...It contains the list of ponies working in the defunct Torchwood division, the one that was destroyed six years ago,” he showed her a USB drive colored black, with a “T” shape made of hexagons. Princess Celestia picked up the data stick with her magic, examining it with slight skepticism.

“And what is so special about this file? This memory drive appears normal, and it is possible to find some remaining files of Torchwood from before Canary Wharf.”

“That’s the thing, the list contained was heavily damaged, and any attempt to recover the lost data proved fruitless, but from what I have deciphered, well, you’ll just have to see it to believe.”

Celestia motioned the guards at the door to bring in a computer, which they did after several minutes. She was feeling uncertain, her face beginning to show lines of worry. Herald Klaxon remained stoic, his face betraying little emotion. When Celestia booted up the computer and inserted the USB drive, what she saw dumbfounded her.

[Data Heavily Corrupted.] [Attempting to Recover...]

[File Loading...]

[File Finished Recovering. 54.026% of Data Lost. Displaying Data Recovered...]

Torchwood Employe[Data Corrupted.]-stry- Div[Data Corrupted.] 1618 AD

Leader
Captain [Data Corrupted.]-ac-[Data Corrupted.]-kness
Gender: Female
Species:[Data Corrupted.]
Age:[Data Corrupted.]

Technol[Data Corrupted.]-ecialist
[Data Corrupted.]-via [Data Corrupted.]-elod[Data Corrupted.]
Gender: Female
Species: Earth Pony
Age:[Data Corrupted.]

Administr[Data Corrupted.]
[Data Corrupted.]-yl [Data Corrupted.]-atch
Gender: Female
Species: [Data Corrupted.] Unicorn
Age:[Data Corrupted.]

Pony Relations Special[Data Corrupted.]
Ch-[Data Corrupted.]-ee
Gender: Female
Species: Eart[Data Corrupted.]
[Data Corrupted.]

UNIT Liaison
[Data Corrupted.]-in-[Data Corrupted.]
Gender: Male
Species: Unicorn
Age: 27

Weapons Specialist
Gil-[Data Corrupted.]-78
[Data Corrupted.]
Species: Griffon
Ag-[Data Corrupted.]

Magic Specialist
Tri[Data Corrupted.]-moon
Gend[Data Corrupted.]
Speci-[Data Corrupted.]
Age: [Data Corrupted.]-3

[Remaining Data Confirmed to be a Data Deletion of a Level 7 Parameter. Deletion Mechanism is a 94% Match for the Bad Wolf Virus.]

Princess Celestia continued staring at the screen, her eyes drifting up and down the list, eventually settling towards the top name. Ac-kness. She took a deep breath and looked back at Captain Klaxon who was viewing the same file.

After an awkward silence, Klaxon finally spoke, “I didn’t believe it either. Torchwood is still functioning, and apparently, it’s leader is none other than-”

“Stop.”

“Your Highness?”

“How are you,” Celestia paused, recollecting her thoughts, “How are you sure this is legitimate?”

“I checked earlier to make sure, but this file was last modified by a Torchwood computer and hasn’t been modified since. This file was made using a Torchwood program, by a Torchwood administrator, on a Torchwood computer. This is undeniable proof that Black Ness has taken over division six of the military.

“She has access to the deadliest weapons to fall from the sky since the founding of the most covert organization on the face of the planet. We need to forward our plans. Two years is too late. We need to bring it in to at least by the end of the year.

“Who knows, maybe she’ll try something tomorrow, or we won’t hear of her until the end of the decade, but we need to strike back, find out where Torchwood is now located and stop Black Ness from killing more ponies for whatever it is she has planned,” Herald Klaxon finished his long monologue with a breath, waiting for the Princess to respond.

“You’re right. We need to organize the other captains and work on a better plan to stop Black Ness. This is of the highest priority,” Celestia said with a pronounced sigh.

“I am glad you agree, Princess,” Captain Herald Klaxon bowed before turning to leave the throne room. Nobody noticed the smirk that appeared on his face as he entered the hallway...

--0o0--

February 8, 1619

Dear diary,

Winter Wrap Up, my favorite time of year. The one day where everyone freaks out and does everything completely wrong for twenty-four hours and screw up badly enough that using magic would make it even worse. Apparently, the rift near Ponyville causes magic to get screwy during Wrap Up, so everybody just works with their hooves.

Well, at least that's what I tell them. Best way to drive up chaos is to make everyone late on the day we perform continental scale terraforming. Localize it to a small town filled with latent chaos magic, and watch Discord roll in.

This year, Twilight was able to get Winter Wrap Up done on time, so my plans might be stalled a week. She didn’t even bother taking the “Rift Precautions” that everybody does every year.

Seriously, everyone will believe you if you cite the Everfree forest as the reason. Also "magical side effect". The rift is common knowledge, but it's actual effects are secret. To be clear, this is a list of the actual effects of the Ponyville rift:

-Occasional teleportation, in space and time, but never to alternate realities. It does not result in free money and food if you visit certain locations.
-It does not spawn giant lizards. Or giant robots. It does, however, spawn small toys and parasprites.
-Yes it does connect to the gates of Tartarus. No it does not mean demons and tortured souls escape from it.
-The rift is not racist to earth ponies. Ponyville is 40% earth pony, and for most of its history it was dominated by earth ponies, so naturally the percentage of rift transfers is higher in the earth pony population.
-It does not cause cancer. Or any other type of disease, but it has been known to give temporary hiccups.
-There are no zombies. Only weevils. And giant cockroaches.
-It does not lead to Candyland.
-Scientists attempting to understand it does not make it angry, just leave them be.
-The Apple family does not profit from selling raw rift materials. We got it from the Carrots, end of story.
-It does occasionally lead to space. I am so sorry for you loss.

I need to post this somewhere. The rumor mill here in Ponyville is ridiculous.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--

February 18, 1619

Dear diary,

Rarity freaked out for the past week trying to make dresses for everyone, then freaked out again when we revised them and turned them into atrocious pieces of modern art. I was personally trying to fit in four hundred years of history into mine, but gave up when Rainbow Dash started taking my ideas.

She was all like "That looks so cool! Can I use that for mine?" and I replied "Yeah sure, just don't go overboard with-" and then RD flew out the window.

Pinkie Pie looked like Chancellor Puddinghead got smushed with Candyland and a carnival. I'd say Twilight just invented 46th century fashion, and then Rarity burned it. Fluttershy was a mobile ecosystem. I kind of wished we kept those outfits, it would have been so ridiculous, watching the nobles staring at us, trying to decided whether to laugh or feel insulted.

Also, Vinyl DJ'd Rarity's fashion show, and nobody noticed her robotic limbs I hid with white paint and sunglasses. Yeah, those dresses were so distracting and unsightly that everyone stared at us.

Then we nearly ruined Rarity's career. Then we tried getting her a second chance by using my one contact in the fashion industry... Who turned out to have been dead for over a decade, so we were stuck until Hoity Toity decided to give Rarity a second chance. It all ended happily with Rarity forced to make seventy-two dresses by next week.

That look on her face was priceless.

-Captain AJH

Author's Note

For lack of a better chapter title.

Oooh, it's on now! Next time on CAJH, stuff's gonna get down!

Method of Elimination

1609 AD
(Nine years before Nightmare Moon returns)
A rock farm
Nowhere Province, Equestria

“Honey, you and I both know it’s starting, and it’s only going to get worse.”

“We can’t just abandon her in a random town full of strangers! Clyde, we can handle this. We can handle our own daughter.”

“Yes, we can. But what about the neighbors? They’re starting to notice her… condition. What if the knowledge spreads? If the guards catch a whiff of a filly with special powers, they’re going to look through their database. They’re going to find out about her grandmother, and our family lineage… And when they do, we’ll never see each other again. All of us, we’ll all be captured and caged within a Torchwood prison. We will never see the light of day again. We don’t know what they’ll do to her.”

“But Ponyville? How can such a place be right for her? It’s in the only province more ‘hick’ than ours! What the rock does ‘Boeshane’ even mean?”

“Honey, dear, calm down. Deep breaths.”

“Huuuuuuuuupp! Huuuh...”

“Better?”

“Yeah, I’m just worried, how are you sure she won’t be found out there?”

“Because Ponyville is the disaster capital of Equestria, darling. Pinkie will be like a searchlight among beacons. Nopony ever bothers searching Ponyville for crazy shenanigans, because they practically risk a complete mental breakdown every time they try.”

--0o0--
February 25, 1619 AD

Twilight Sparkle was trying very hard not to scream. Her whole day had just been, to put it mildly, utterly insane. Turns out Pinkie Pie is psychic! And nopony was batting an eye to it. It made no sense. Precognition was impossible, nothing traveled faster than light, which allows time travel, not even teleportation. Twilight travels at light speed, thank you very much.

But alas, Pinkie kept on insisting she had a mysterious ‘pinkie sense’, which has no basis within the known laws of physics. Time travel was certainly impossible, and with it, predicting the future. She had to figure it out, but how?

Applejack mentioned how everypony in town was used to this sort of thing, maybe it had something to do with the Ponyville rift? No, Twilight already ruled that out because Pinkie mentioned having the sense before she moved to Ponyville. It wasn’t related to weather, had nothing to do with earth pony attributes, and definitely wasn’t any kind of magic. If it was, Twilight would have already mastered it.

Maybe she could test for the difference! She would need some volunteers… A soon as she got her body bandaged after falling into Applejack’s cellar.

“Hey Applejack!” Twilight yelled as the orange earth pony approached her.

“Yeah, sugarcube?” Applejack asked with a smile.

“Would you mind being subjected to a thorough full body scan?” Twilight smiled brightly, despite being confined to a wheelchair.

“Uuuhh… What?”

“I just need to get a scan of you, compare it to the one I have of Pinkie, then figure out the difference!”

“Wait a minute, me an’ Pinkie are totally different-”

“Oh that’s right! Even removing the gender and species isn’t enough, I need to collect more data, maybe one of our other friends can help…”

“Twi? Let’s not experiment on ourselves tryin’ ta understand Pinkie Pie, of all ponies. It’s doomed ta fail, like fightin’ a waterfall from stoppin’ a stampede of whirlin’ cows,” Applejack stopped before saying, “Wait, what was that metaphor supposed to mean?”

Applejack just continued, “Aw well, just don’t test me, alright? Ah don’t think that doohickey in yer basement’s good fer my… everything.”

Twilight looked disappointed, but agreed, “Fine, guess I’ll just continue observing Pinkie.”

--0o0--

The day was over, and Twilight Sparkle had finally accepted the Pinkie Sense. It had taken effort, Applejack’s prodding, and a hydra attack to finally convince her that the Pinkie Sense, despite it defying the laws of physics, magic, and every other law written down.

She had just finished penning a friendship report to Princess Celestia about faith in other ponies, and motioned Spike to send the letter. Spike ran up the steps to balcony as Pinkie Pie left to return to the bakery. As Pinkie and Twilight said their goodbyes, a resounding thud was heard coming from the balcony. Princess Celestia had landed in Ponyville.

Spike stared at the alicorn and dropped his jaw. It wasn’t every day when the sun goddess-deity-royalty-whatever landed unexpectedly on Twilight’s spot for astronomy. Heck, he hadn’t really seen the princess since the Running of the Leaves business. Ever since then, the princess visited Twilight less and less frequently. When she did visit, it was only after several days of planning and Twilight freaking out.

He never bowed to Celestia, while a citizen of Equestria, he did not have the obligation to do so. But this time, he had ever so slightly averted his gaze and began moving towards the floor. Before he could bow to his ruler for the first time in almost a decade, she stopped him.

“Spike, tell Twilight that I am here, and after that, please retrieve Miss Rarity and bring her to the library,” Celestia said cooly.

Spike nodded so fiercely that he threatened to remove his head off his shoulders and dashed downstairs to tell the aforementioned unicorn, dropping the letter to the princess onto the ground. Princess Celestia picked the scroll up with her magic and began reading.

Just as she finished, a resounding Thump! was heard, and Spike could be seen rushing out of the library towards Carousel Boutique. Almost immediately, Twilight frantically jumped onto the balcony.

“Princess! I am so sorry about the mess, I didn’t you were coming and then the whole Pinkie-,” Twilight was cut off by Celestia motioning with her hoof.

“It is alright, my faithful student, I am here because of a more urgent matter. Please, I would like to go downstairs to explain,” the princess motioned towards the inside of the library.

“O-of course! Let me show you the way! Sorry, it’s so messy, I just dealt with a sort of failed experiment involving Pinkie Pie,” Twilight rambled on, “And the results weren’t exactly conclusive in any way, so… ”

Celestia smiled, “Yes, I assume that would be the case. Pinkie’s condition doesn’t leave much to be discerned.”

“Princess?” Twilight asked.

“Twilight, I am about to tell you and Rarity something important and of the utmost secrecy. Please, wait until she arrives so that I may explain.”

Twilight nodded, and asked, “So you know how she does all those strange things she does?”

“Please Twilight, after Rarity is here,” Celestia reached with her magic and cleared an area fit for about four ponies to sit comfortably. The teacher and student trotted into the the space while Twilight used her magic to tidy up.

After five minutes of cleaning up, the front door opened and Spike returned with Rarity. She was wearing a hat bedazzled with glittering gemstones and what appeared to be an orange butterfly in one of the corners. Shaped like a sun hat, it probably refracted sunlight from the wearer, while blinding everyone else in a ten foot radius when outside. Next to the sun princess however, it seemed dim in comparison.

“Spike, please go get yourself some dinner at a nice restaurant, I need some privacy with Rarity and Twilight,” Princess Celestia explained before Spike could ask.

“Sure Princess,” Spike replied as he grinned and hopped out the door, “Have a nice time. Bye Rarity, bye Twi!”

Celestia closed the door, locked it, then proceeded to cast an anti-scrying and sound-proofing spell around the entire building. Rarity started asking Twilight what was happening, but Twilight simply shrugged. After placing four more spells to protect the foundations and the atmosphere, she looked at the two unicorns in front of her.

Celestia sighed and began speaking, “What the two of you are about to hear may not be spoken in public or private, and may only be conversed about with only myself and a hooful of other ponies. I am asking for your help in catching a dangerous criminal who threatens the safety of Equestria. Are you two willing to risk your life for what I am about to task you with?”

“Yes, Princess,” Twilight answered quickly.

Rarity stood there, thinking it over before asking, “Your highness, what exactly are you inquiring us to do? I am willing to stop criminals, but I am merely a dressmaker. I don’t know if I’m up for whatever it is you need me to do.”

Celestia smiled, “I assure you what I am asking for is within both of your abilities, and isn’t necessarily very controversial.”

Rarity inhaled, “Then I accept.”

Celestia started to explain, “Tell me, what do you know about Black Ness?”

“The terrorist group that caused that crystal star incident during Hearthwarming’s?” Twilight asked.

“The very same. I have reason to believe that Black Ness has infiltrated Ponyville, and her target is one of the element bearers,” Celestia stated.

“W-what? That can’t be, why us?” Rarity sputtered, unable to believe what she was hearing, “Here in Ponyville? Why us?”

“Black Ness is not truly an organization of dozens of ponies. She is a single mare of approximately 300 years of age, who has recruited and brainwashed ponies to do her bidding. Over the last several centuries, she has killed numerous ponies and has some vendetta against Equestria or me, I am uncertain to the reason.

“I have further reason to suspect that… one of your friends has been compromised,” Celestia revealed.

“What? No, there is no proof that any of our friends have been deceived by that monster!” Rarity cried out, “They would resist! They would run and tell somepony, not work with a terrorist!”

“I am sorry, but Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Fluttershy are possible suspects for aiding in Black Ness’s attacks on Equestria,” Celestia looked solemn, her voice had taken on a sad tone and her eyes looked downward.

“But why me?” Rarity asked, “Why do you trust me? I mean, I understand you trust Twilight, but me? I am as easily persuaded as our other friends, how can you be sure that I am not compromised?”

“The truth is, Rarity,” Celestia answered, “It is because I am completely sure, that due to your upbringing and parentage, you are incredibly unlikely to be converted.”

“I don’t understand, Princess,” Rarity began.

“One day you will, hopefully not until you are ready,” Celestia looked at Twilight, who had begun fidgeting when Rarity started asking questions, “My faithful student, you are probably bottling up many questions, please feel free to ask them.”

Twilight appeared to burst with curiosity, but limited herself to one main question, “What did you mean by Pinkie Pie earlier? Is her Pinkie Sense caused by some sort of anomaly, or maybe an extrapolated Beta-class magic field? Of course it’s appears to most resemble a Klein megahedron event, but I can’t even comprehend her mass integration levels, it only makes sense if one assumes a nine-point-oh-seven-six variance level in her Hayzion emissions, sooooooo… what do you think, Princess?”

With a flick of her horn, Celestia summoned a stack of papers that arranged itself neatly into two separate piles. Celestia then enchanted the papers and gave it to Twilight.

“These files are only for you and Rarity’s eyes. Should anypony other than you two attempt to read them, they will instantly combust,” Celestia’s eyes seemed to flicker slightly, “They contain all the data you will need about Black Ness and Pinkie Pie. I am sure you will be able to tell the difference.”

“Thank you, we will definitely study these extensively,” Twilight said reassuringly.

“Now I will explain what I want the two of you to do,” Celestia said as the two unicorns looked upon her with rapt attention, “But first, tell me exactly how much you two know about the upcoming Best Young Flyer Competition?”

--0o0--
1615 AD
(Three years before Nightmare Moon returns)

Rainbow Dash, future wonderbolt, the only pony to perform a sonic rainboom, was in a foul mood. She had run out of money, and needed a place to stay to continue her wonderbolt training. This unfortunately, led her to Ponyville. An old friend of hers lived in the quaint little town, and was the only pony who was able to give her a place to stay. That was three weeks ago.

She was still coming to grips with living on the ground. It was just so low, dirty and boring. To top it all off, there wasn’t anything to do. She joined the weather team, and was promoted to second-in-command in a matter of weeks, mostly because she was the only pegasus in the entire province with a degree in weather management.

There wasn’t anything interesting, fun, or intriguing to do. There were, like, four athletic ponies in the entire town! Everyone of those worked late hours, so she never even saw them.

Rainbow Dash groaned and laid back on her cloud. She was bored out of her mind, and just wished there was somepony to talk to…

Whack!

She felt pain shoot up her skull as she tumbled out of her fluffy cushion and onto the ground. The pain of the last ten seconds barely overcame the sheer boredom she was feeling. Rainbow moaned as she opened her eyes to see an angry orange earth pony.

“Consarnit, what in the hay are ya doin’ trespassin’ on mah property?” the earth pony asked with a combination of anger and annoyance.

“Um, I was napping?” Rainbow Dash pulled her head off the ground, her hooves were beginning to shake, “My name is Rainbow Dash. What’s yours, and why are you talking funny?”

The orange mare snorted, “Mah name, is Applejack, this here is mah farm, where mah family been takin’ care of it fer many generations, and mah accent comes from southern Equestria, but ah guess ya can’t tell from the tiny little cloud ya came from.”

Rainbow Dash jumped into the air hovering right above Applejack, her muzzle inches away from Applejack, “What did you say about my hometown?”

“Oh, ah’m sorry, I should've talked a mite slower fer you. How. About. Now? You. Came. From. A tiny. Cloud. Full of airheads if ya can’t. Even. Tell. What mah-”

Rainbow Dash pushed Applejack to the side, “Oh yeah, what are you gonna do about it? Lecture me on the history of this hick town? Maybe it was founded when your great-grandparents’ wagon broke down and they couldn’t fix the wheel!”

“Get off mah property, ah’m angry ‘cause yer trespassin’ and makin’ fun of mah accent! Now yer criticisin’ mah family? Get off now, or ah’m gonna make ya get off!”

Rainbow Dash flew up a few more inches, “Hah! I’m already off the ground, feather brain! Oh, and since you have no feathers, that means you don’t have-”

Applejack’s lasso, which she always carried after fighting an alien weak only to rope, wrapped around Rainbow’s muzzle. Applejack yanked the rope down, bringing the pegasus down towards Applejack.

“Well, ah don’t think this ‘fight’ is gonna last long because ya can’t keep yer mouth shut.”

Rainbow Dash pulled the rope off, and jumped into the air, “This ain’t a fight, it’s a game of tag.”

“Yer not gettin’ away that easily!”

Rainbow Dash smirked before flying through the apple orchard. This was going to be a fun day.

--0o0--
March 1, 1619

It was the day of the Best Young Flyers competition, and ponies were lining up for the start of the event. Inside the massive white Cloudeseum stadium was two dozen pegasi working diligently on the obstacles for the performances. Everything had to be perfect, Princess Celestia herself would be appearing soon, and would be one of the judges for the contest.

Naturally, the arrival of the Wonderbolts riled everyone up. Captain Spitfire, Lieutenant Misty Fly (the incorrigible background Wonderbolt that no one ever remembered), and Commander Soarin, would usually arrive in a spectacular display of fireworks and majesty that just happens because they were so famous and awesome. Also, they loved pranking the workers, watching them gasp as their bosses arrive three hours early.

Luckily for the workers, Spitfire and Soarin were not in the mood for pranks, so the above description for an entrance didn’t happen. They just flew in and entered normally. After dismissing Misty Fly, who would only later turn up to judge the competitors, because she is a lowly background Wonderbolt, Spitfire consulted with Soarin over security, with no regard for secrecy, because their was no pony insane enough to believe what they were talking about.

“Any problems?” Spitfire started.

“Nope, I scanned the area myself. Nopony in Cloudsdale had negative thoughts,” Soarin answered, “Can I go get some cake now?”

Spitfire raised her eyebrow slightly in mild irritation, “Everywhere? The factory? The hotels? All incoming balloons?”

Soarin pulled out a piece of caramel candy, “Yep, nothing but a talking butterfly and a hyperactive earth pony.”

Spitfire’s eyebrow raised slightly higher as Soarin started unwrapping his candy. As he began to lick his lips in anticipation of his sweet treat, his eyes widening to an enormous size, Spitfire asked bluntly, “Seriously? Is your blood sugar really that low, or are you just being a glutton?”

The blue pegasus stallion with a love for caramel popped the candy into his mouth, chewing with pure enjoyment as the sugar entranced his taste buds, “Mmmm yeah. Oh, and Heartstrings is here too, thought I should let you know.”

Spitfire neutral expression turned into a scowl, her eyebrows pointed to show an angry face, her voice began to sound bitter, “Great, now we have to deal with that annoyance. Does she have any evidence this time, or is it another insane theory?”

Despite her hateful tone, Soarin continued munching with delight until he swallowed, and attempted to comfort his boss, “C’mon, just ‘cause your ex is here, doesn’t mean she’s going to risk the safety of Equestria to prove a theory she has no proof for.”

“We went on three dates over three years ago! We only kissed once, and then Lyra immediately tripped and fell into the river! I am totally over her,” Spitfire huffed and turned away.

Soarin simply put his foreleg over Spitfire’s shoulders and pulled her into a hug, “Come on, it’s fine. Today we’re just doing our job, looking across the magnificent cyan skies of Cloudsdale, valiantly searching for the horrific abomination bent on destroying the great Equestrian civilization with her incomprehensible abilities that defy magic itself. Your ex-marefriend isn’t going to even be a factor in this. Now pony up and be a captain!”

She looked up at Soarin, who was shaking his other hoof to the sky, like he was daring some malevolent being from beyond the stars to say otherwise.

“You are a good pony, and there isn’t anything that Black Ness, GILDA, or the Cult of the Pearicles can do to prove me wrong! Am I right, or am I right?”

“You’re right. I feel like an idiot for falling into this pit of self doubt. Curse that mare for making me think like this. Heartstrings is a non-threat, but give her enough leeway, and she could screw up things faster than Nightmare Moon,” the captain said to her subordinate officer.

“Come on, let’s go get some pie before the competition starts,” Soarin started hovering into the air, “I think there’s a nice bakery on Cloud 9th Street.”

“You go ahead, I need to check up on one more thing,” Spitfire waved the stallion goodbye as she trotted to a secluded spot in the arena.

She stopped and began running over the plan in her mind. Soarin may be the best clairvoyant flyer in Equestria, but he is still a fool. Stopping Black Ness is only the beginning.

--0o0--

They said it couldn’t be done. The logistics and magical energy required to pull off such a feat was mind boggling. And yet, under pressure to save lives, with thousands of ponies watching, judging her every move, Rainbow Dash did it. She pulled off a sonic rainboom, and in the process, saved three Wonderbolts and Rarity from certain death.

Not only that, but Rainbow had flown off into the sunset with two Wonderbolts, and now they were going to get drunk at a bar. Not what she had in mind for celebration, but she didn’t complain. Simply being with the Wonderbolts was great.

How many glasses had she drank? Drunk? Six? Seven? Okay, definitely not more than ten. Wait, were the glasses always that large? Huh, this one tastes like soap. Things started to get blurry quickly.

She remembered a question. It’s not Twilight, it’s not Rarity, and it’s not you, so I’m asking you again. Which one of your friends is working for Black Ness?

She didn’t know the answer. And then she blacked out.

--0o0--

Spitfire sighed as she and Soarin dropped off Rainbow Dash at the hotel she was staying at. They left Rainbow in her room, along with a note and her medal for winning the Best Young Flyers Competition. As the pair closed and locked the door, Soarin spoke up.

“She didn’t know anything. All we’ve is that it’s not her,” Soarin walked down towards the end of the hallway, with Spitfire trailing close behind.

“You know, seems like a waste to fake an entire accident. We had Twilight Sparkle, the three of us, and a dressmaker from Ponyville fake a fall to the death based on a hunch,” Soarin continued down until they reached the elevator.

“So you have doubts about the Princess?” Spitfire responded as she pressed the down button.

“Nah, I’m just saying that she’s too emotionally invested in this. It’s like Black Ness has done something to her personally. You know, other than blowing up Canterlot with a crystal star, all those murders, and the other stuff,” Soarin said.

“I heard a rumor from the last captain of the Royal Guard that it had something to do with Nightmare Moon,” Spitfire responded.

“Never heard that theory, what is it?” Soarin asked.

With that question, Spitfire raised her eyebrow, “Really? Well, it’s a long story, so just read my mind a learn it.”

Soarin smiled, “You told me to never read your mind, not even when required.”

Spitfire smiled and yawned as the elevator door went Ding! and opened, “Yeah, but I’m too tired to speak. Screaming while falling to my death was really tiring.”

The duo entered the empty elevator as Spitfire remembered the memory. And Soarin did as well.

--0o0--
March 2, 1619
About 10 o’clock

Rainbow Dash woke up with a start. Her hangover had subsided, but still had a slight headache. She looked around the room until she remembered where she was. Beside her was her medal for the Best Young Flyer Competition the day before. Next to that was a white piece of paper.

She took the note and read from it aloud:

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Hope you had as much yesterday as we did. We also hope to see you much more often. Who knows, at this rate, you’ll be in the Wonderbolts in no time!

-Soarin

P.S. Spitfire says hi, but she’s too grumpy to write anything (don’t tell her I wrote that!)

She couldn’t quite remember everything from the night before, in fact it was so disjointed, she only remembered one question for sure: Which one of your friends is working for Black Ness?

Why would one of her friends be in league with a terrorist group? Rainbow Dash thought long and hard before deciding to go back to sleep.

Author's Note

I'm Back!

Doesn't it suck having inspiration for a future chapter while simultaneously having writer's block on the current chapter?

Jack of All Trades...

March 4, 1619
The Ponyville Library run by Twilight that’s also a tree.

In front of Twilight Sparkle, laid out across her entire floor of her bedroom, was all the files pertaining to Black Ness, U-004, U-003, and the incident file from the Best Young Flyers Competition that Rainbow Dash and Rarity took part in. Princess Celestia’s plan to fake a disaster went well, but the information they gathered was little.

Rarity and Twilight staged an entire trap, playing off Rarity’s apparent showboating, the two unicorns, along with the Wonderbolts and the Princess, faked a fall-to-your-death-now-somepony-please-save-us routine, in an attempt to catch a terrorist. It failed, and Rainbow Dash got drunk with some Wonderbolts instead.

Twilight continued to stare at the papers that were strewn across with reckless abandon. She had spent almost twenty hours trying to find a pattern. Not that false one that connected liquor to BB gun violence. It was clever, but beneath the humor, was an odd detail that struck out. It didn’t make sense at first, but in conjunction with the U-004 folder, she discovered this name that repeated itself one time too many:

Smart Cookie.

It wasn’t much, but since the competition, she asked Princess Celestia about Smart Cookie, but that quickly became a dead end:

I’m sorry Twilight, but there are no records of Smart Cookie. Fires, riots, and strategic bombings have resulted in almost nothing pertaining to Smart Cookie remaining. It’s as if somepony deliberately tried to erase every record of her from hist-

Twilight bolted up and began searching through her papers again, until she found a note scribbled onto the file:

Zebra seers have been known to keep records stored in special places, such as preserving actual memories through certain potions, as well as hidden archives filled with lost works. In fact, it is known that most know entire histories by heart…

Twilight gasped, then looked at her clock. It was late, but she could definitely reach Zecora in time before sunset. Maybe she could even have some tea with here as well.

--0o0--

Scootaloo was excited. She was so excited, in fact that she had been jittering for almost an hour. Bouncing up and down was making it especially difficult for her to pack her stuff for the sleepover at Fluttershy’s cottage.

Her smile stretched out even further, and her saddlebag for the night was packed haphazardly.She didn’t care, she was going to have so much fun with her friends. She put the bags on underneath her wings, grabbed her scooter and helmet, and proceeded to leave her house. She began revving up the wheels before removing her hooves from the brak-

“Wait!”

Scootaloo stopped out of reflex and promptly flipped over, landing with her back on the ground and her legs in the air. She looked up to see her mother, Aerial Ace coming up to her scooter.

“Honey, you forgot your hug goodbye!”

Scootaloo got up from the ground and brought her forelegs around her mother’s neck. At the same time, Aerial Ace nuzzled Scootaloo gently. After that, Scootaloo got back on her scooter and began to buzz her wings.

“Be safe Scootaloo,” Ace said in a half-whisper.

“I will Mom,” Scootaloo released her brake and went out into town.

Ace waved her hoof, smiling hopefully. I sure hope so.

--0o0--

“This is was an awesome sleepover! We should totally, like, chase more of those chickens or something,” Scootaloo yelled, her wings buzzing with excitement.

“Oh no, I don’t think that’s such a good idea, I mean, we were only able cure Twilight of her petrification because cockatrices can reverse their powers. You girls were lucky that we only ran into a cockatrice tonight. Let’s just go back and get some sleep, alright?” Fluttershy spoke softly and kindly, but with a slight tone of authority.

“Aw, alright,” Scootaloo sighed.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders and Fluttershy were walking back to the cottage after a long and dangerous misadventure involving a cockatrice, a chicken, Twilight, and a staring contest. As the four ponies approached Fluttershy’s home, a small white critter rushed out the door and hopped into the veterinarian’s hooves.

“Oh, Angel Bunny, how are you doing?” Fluttershy hug nuzzled the bunny affectionately, “Was HareCon fun? Did you convince the others to adopt your new financial plan?”

Angel made some squeaking noises followed by pantomiming. Fluttershy responded, “Ooh, that sounds so nice. Maybe I’ll go with you next year.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom rolled their eyes and proceeded into the cottage, but stopped abruptly when they noticed Scootaloo wasn’t following.

Get away. NOW.

“Scoots! Ya comin’ or what?” Apple Bloom yelled.

Sweetie Belle went up and poked Scootaloo, “I think she’s spacing out again.”

It’s not too late. Run. Find safety. Get some help, just don’t go back inside.

“Great,” Apple Bloom got closer and began pulling the orange pegasus while Sweetie Belle pushed from behind.

Shoot Shoot Shoot Shoot! Backup Backup Backup! Worst time for complete motor function failure, isn’t it?

When the three fillies were in the cottage, Apple Bloom spoke up, her voice dripping with sarcasm, “What is it this time? Ya noticed how Fluttershy’s house looks like a blue box? Or maybe the chickens are secretly aliens?”

Scootaloo blinked. And she stayed still.

Get out now! Come on, hooves don’t fail now!

“It’s pretty bad this time. Usually she’s just gone for a few seconds but I’m sure it’s been at least five minutes,” Sweetie Belle continued to poke the frozen filly.

“Would ya move fer a Scooby snack?” Apple Bloom asked. Scootaloo didn’t move.

“Oh, maybe a Klondike bar! My sister eats those all the time,” Sweetie Belle guessed. Scootaloo didn’t respond.

Actually, I could go for some grub.

“Ah’m gonna get some water,” Apple Bloom went into the kitchen and pulled out a bucket.

Sweetie Belle punched the inert filly. Next, she drew on her neck with a marker. And then she swatted her with a broom. Sweetie Belle pulled out a hockey stick with her mouth before Apple Bloom returned with the water.

Apple Bloom dropped the bucket, “Sweetie! Don’t hit her with that!”

“Whath? I’m noth gonnath hith her with thit! I’m gonnath scrath her!”

“What?”

Sweetie Belle spit out the hockey stick, “I’m gonna scratch her! Maybe she has an itch on her back.”

Apple Bloom stared at Sweetie Belle. Then looked at Scootaloo’s stationary body. Then back at Sweetie Belle’s sincere smile. Apple Bloom shook her head, sighed, then tossed the bucket of water at Scootaloo’s immobile figure.

Splash.

“Gah! Who? What? Where? When? Huwah!?” Scootaloo jumped and slipped on the puddle of water, her head fell and hit the floor.

“Apple Bloom! Why did you do that? You could have really hurt her!”

“Better’n scratchin’ her with a hockey stick! Why did ya even think that would work? That’s like milkin’ an apple tree fer cider!”

“Well scratching Rarity in her sleep usually wakes her up, so I thought it would!”

“Well that… ” Apple Bloom stopped before finishing, “Ya know what, never mind, yer sister’s weird.”

“Well duh, and Scoots was acting weird, so we needed a weird solution!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, “I win.”

“No, ah win! Ah fixed her first!” Apple Bloom shouted.

Sweetie Belle stuck out her tongue, “Nyeh, I would’ve fixed her with the stick too.”

“Would not!”

“Would too!”

“Would you two stop!” Scootaloo yelled. The earth pony and unicorn stopped arguing to listen their friend’s potentially insane ramblings.

“Guys, I think we need to leave,” Scootaloo started.

“But why? We’re fine here, c’mon let’s just go and get some sleep,” Apple Bloom motioned to their sleeping bags.

Scootaloo stomped her hoof, “No. Please guys, listen. This time I think I got something. I remember something. More than just forgotten dreams or weird deja vu. I never noticed it before, but… Fluttershy is dangerous.”

This time, despite all the weird things Scootaloo has said before:

I think Miss Cheerilee knows more than she’s letting on. The Mayor’s kind of weird, like she doesn’t belong. There is something off about Cloud Kicker. Maybe she’s hiding something. Sapphire Shores’ music is literally hypnotic! It sounds… Sonic. You know, like a screwdriver. Or a hedgehog.

This sounded bad and not vaguely discomforting. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom decided to sit down and listen to her friend.

“Her pet rabbit. It- it triggered something. When I dream, I always have these- these bunnies in them. And those bunnies came right before something bad. The metal pony, those salt shakers, my mom, and that weird box. Last Nightmare Night, I saw Applejack and her friend, and ever since then, I kept getting these weird feelings every once in a while.

“But this time, I didn’t get just a dream or a right out feeling, this time I saw what happened! Fluttershy, Angel, a glowing light, and this weird blond earth pony.”

“Mah sister?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Not her. Somepony else. This blue and blond stallion. And then, bad. Like, really, really bad. I keep seeing somepony in black getting hurt, then getting right back up. That stallion is the reason. She makes Fluttershy dangerous. I don’t know who he is, but he’s a bad omen.”

“Ya mean ‘Amen’?” Apple Bloom corrected.

“No, I said ‘Omen’,” Scootaloo said.

“Maybe you mean ‘Omelet’,” Sweetie Belle added.

“No, I mean- you know what? Never mind, let’s just get some sleep. It’s not like Fluttershy’s gonna hurt us,” Scootaloo said.

“But ya said she was,” Apple Bloom replied.

“No, I said she was dangerous, and that this stallion caused it. But I don’t think she’ll specifically hurt us.”

“Ah don’t even know why I’m tryin’ ta reason with yer crazy mind flashes. Ah’m sleepin’ too,” Apple Bloom unzipped her sleeping bag.

“Oh, okay. Good night girls!” Sweetie Belle flopped into her bag.

Apple Bloom turned to her side looking at her two friends, “You know, if we were all in big trouble like you said, I’m sure somepony would fix it. We got the princesses, our sisters and all those royal guards, and… whoever you know.”

“Hey! I totally have connections!” Scootaloo said having offended, “Wait, we are talking about connections, right?”

Several days ago, Diamond Tiara came into the school playground, boasting how her dad had new connections that made her entire family even more influential. She claimed that her dad could have become a member of parliament if he wanted to.

Like any normal kids who are taunted by a bully, they reevaluated their apparent social positions, mostly by listing all their family members and said members’ friends. When they realized that Sweetie Belle alone apparently had more influence than both Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon put together, the three crusaders got bored and started ignoring the terrible duo’s annoying showboating.

“I think we are, they’re those ponies our family knows that could totally help,” Sweetie Belle reminded Scootaloo.

“So… that means I have: my mom, Rainbow Dash, those army dudes from Unity or whatever, a professor, and a DJ,” she stopped after counting off the several ponies that could help, “and I guess maybe Lyra if I want to stretch a bit.”

“Lyra? Ya mean the musician?”

“I thought she was a writer?”

“No, from what my mom said, she’s some sort of ‘conspiring theorist’,” Scootaloo said.

“What’s that?” Apple Bloom asked, tilting her head.

“Don’t really know. Doubt she could help. Maybe we could combine our connections together, then we’d have three times as much influence!”

“That’s a great idea! If we can gather enough influence, we could totally stop whatever bad thing’s gonna happen. You what I’m thinking?” Scootaloo asked. The other two nodded and grinned.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS INFLUENCE GATHERERS YAY!”

“Girls, could you please go to bed? It’s getting late, that is, if you want to.”

“Sorry Fluttershy! We’re going to sleep now!” the three of them continued to smile as their giggles spread around until they all nodded off to sleep.

--0o0--

Twilight relaxed in Zecora’s hut with a cup of hot tea in an attempt to constitute herself after being petrified by a cockatrice. At the same time, Zecora was busy brewing in her magic iron cast cauldron, which was glowing an odd color of green as smoke billowed out.

“Zecora, I have a question for you, if you know, you’re comfortable with me asking,” Twilight danced the request along.

“Ask your question, my dear friend. I hope this lead of yours does not become another dead end.”

“How did you-,” Twilight paused before an epiphany passed through her mind, “Oh my Celestia, you’re a seer! Everything makes sense now! Why you know certain things, and why you always enter the market when prices are surprisingly low. It makes so much sense. But wait, I thought enchantresses used potions, not seers?”

“I am both seer and enchantress. Although my intentions are pure, most view me with great distress. Now what is your question that is so obscure?”

“I was actually wondering what you know about Smart Cookie,” Twilight was fidgeting with excitement, eager to learn more.

Zecora gave Twilight a concerned look, before she began, “Very well, let me tell you the tale, of the great Smart Cookie, both powerful and frail… ”

--0o0--

March 6, 1619

“Are we there yet?” Scootaloo asked as the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Applejack were on their way to see their brand new clubhouse, which had once belonged to Applejack. Or will belong to. Or whatever, because time travel, okay?

“There? Where? What? I don't even know what we're doing,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Here we are,” Applejack pointed at a marvelous tree, one that will stand the test of time by lasting centuries. (This is totally foreshadowing, by the way).

“What are we lookin’ at?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I have no idea,” Scootaloo replied. A fixed incursion point. This area contains a large amount of tachyons that could be the result of a future spatial anomaly.

“What is that thing?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders, welcome to yer new clubhouse,” Applejack stated as she felt a wave of nostalgia pass over her, “Well, don't thank me all at once. This was mah clubhouse when ah was yer age. Sure it hasn't been used in a while, but it's empty and on a secluded, private part of the farm. And it's all yours. It just needs a little, uh... TLC.”

“TLC as in Tender Loving Care or Totally Lost Cause?” Scootaloo remarked. This place should be fenced off and burned to the ground. And then time locked.

“Applejack! We're supposed ta turn this into our new clubhouse?” Apple Bloom began to whine when the realization hit her.

“Well, maybe y'all will get your cutie marks when you discover your talent fer-,” Applejack fell through a hole in the wall, “Uh... house cleanin'?”

--0o0--

March 10, 1619

Dear diary,

The CMC won a comedy award today. They also showed their trademark destructive capabilities, so I can actually move the plan forward a couple of days. Still, it’s about six months away.

Not much else to say. I heard the guard commandeered a Thaumic sensor, but it probably won’t help. Those guards think they’re close, but unless someone betrays me, I am totally safe.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
March 11, 1619

Brrrinngg!

“Hello, Shooting Star Records, my name is Secretariat the secretary, how may I direct your call? What? Haha very funny. You can’t just- What? Fine. Boss! You got a call! Line three!”

“Eh? Fine, let me just, ah, got it.”

Click.

“What is it? I am a very busy stallion, and you can’t just waltz in on my phone line with your- Wha? Really? Oh, I am so sorry, I’ll call her immediately. So sorry about my behavior.”

Click.

“Yes, send a message to Sapphire. Tell her that the Prime Minister wants to talk with her. No, I am not kidding. Yes, now would be best.”

Ding.

“Hellooo~, this is Sapphire Shores, and what is it that you- Oh, Applejack! So nice to hear from you! You what? Pffft haha! Y-you pretended to be- oh my Celestia, the look on his face must have been priceless!

“Yes dear, ever since the seaponies I haven’t really been the same. Well, what brings you to impersonate a politician? Oh. Hmm. Uh huh. Is she good? Better than my best right now? Ponyville by tomorrow? Don’t mention you by name? Stop repeating everything- oh wait, sorry. Alright, if it’s that important, I be there by around eight. Maybe some poker later? Sure. K’ bye.

Click. Doooooooooooooh.

--0o0--

March 12, 1619

Dear diary,

Sapphire Shores nearly killed Rarity. Totally indirectly, but apparently she was hypnotic enough to drive Rarity to become a slave for diamond dogs. Now, I’m not saying it was intentional, we still need to work on that. Maybe some sunglasses and chewing gum?

No, didn’t work last time. Maybe she should just delegate her errands to her assistants. But that puts them in danger too.

Anyways, Rarity is fine. She wasn’t hypnotized, only “encouraged” and “persuaded”. She even whined so much that she conquered the entire diamond dog colony in about three hours. Her high pitched wails assaulted the sensitive ears of the diamond dogs. She’s like a living sonar device, considering her ability to find gems.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
March 14, 1619

“It was perfect! My designs, the presentation! It’s Hoity Toity all over again! Everything I do is worthless!” Rarity screamed at the top of her lungs before slumping onto the floor of her boutique.

“It’s alright, Rarity, you don’t need some fancy photographer from Germaney to be worth something. You’re totally worth a lot more than her,” Spike tried his hardest to comfort Rarity in a pleasant (if not inviting to sleep with) tone.

“No I’m not! Photo Finish was my chance!” Rarity whined continuously, her eyes beginning to water.

“Oh, bother,” Spike facepalmed and walked towards the kitchen. I guess I’ll just make her some tea. That might help.

“Now, Fluttershy’s a model, and she’s going to be famous! I’m just gonna die in the gutter of obscurity. All they have are has beens and failures like me,” Rarity slumped further.

Spike waddled back into the room and hugged the mare, attempting to wrap his short arms around her shoulders, “Shh, it’s going to be fine, besides, I bet Fluttershy’s gonna hate being famous, quit, and everything will be back to normal.”

“Please, Spike, if you’re trying to comfort me, at least be realistic. This is going to change everything! In one day, Fluttershy’s notoriety has quadrupled, and now she’s on the path to becoming a full blown star. She’ll meet all sorts of great and interesting ponies, and will live the high life before the end of tomorrow. Something’s changed. It’s already happened.”

--0o0--

March 14, 1619

Dear diary,

Well, Fluttershy’s now a famous supermodel. I don’t remember how long this lasts, but I’m milking it for all it’s worth. Now if I can just get Rainbow Dash to fly a banner around, that might help boost my sales.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--

March 15, 1619

“Hey, RD!” Applejack shouted at a low lying cloud with a blue pegasus on it.

“What? I’m trying to nap over here!” Rainbow Dash yelled back. That, and I still haven’t figured out who’s working for Black Ness, so I can’t really trust anypony. These past two weeks have been rough, but extra hours on the weather team helped ease the suspicion.

“Ah thought you were supposed ta be workin’ the clouds? Ya know, like for the past week? And the week before?” Applejack retorted.

“This is my first break in days, so excuse me for trying to catch some shuteye.” Ugh, just go away.

“Fine, have a nice nap!” Applejack grumbled before walking back to her farm.

--0o0--

Rainbow Dash awoke to the sound of a roar. Or was it an explosion? She opened her eyes to see that her cloud had risen up to over eight stories high. From this distance, she could see the entirety of Ponyville without turning her head. As she looked out, her ears twitched. The sound she was hearing came from behind her. Rainbow’s wings instinctively flexed, preparing for an emergency flight.

She turned her head and shoulders to see another pegasus staring at her. The pony was dressed in all black leather and fabric, and what appeared to be a gas mask. The wings were built strong, covered in more dark fabric. They were stretched out, as if the pegasus was preparing for something. Rainbow Dash noticed that the odd pony was probably a mare, but had an odd bulkiness one might attribute to a stallion.

And then, just like that, the strange pony turned around and flew off. Rainbow’s eyes widened as she flexed her wings and pushed off her cloud, beating the appendages quickly. The black mare had taken off with a speed that could only be attained by extremely well-trained athletes. Nopony should be able to go that fast.

Rainbow Dash zoomed as fast as she could, barely keeping speed with the pony. She was still three hundred feet behind, but was determined to catch up. Who is this pony? She’s fast, but I’ve never seen her before in my life! I’ve been to dozens of Wonderbolts shows, every flying competition in the past five years, and I’ve never heard of a black pegasus go from zero to sixty in less than three seconds! I can only go at three point six seconds!

“Hey, wait up!” Rainbow yelled at the mare. The mare banked and turned ninety degrees to the left. Rainbow saw that and banked as well, but was slower on the turn. What?! That’s impossible! Nopony on the planet can do that! She literally turned on a tenth bit! I got to catch up when we’re going straight. Rainbow Dash began picking up speed as the mare began zigzagging in an attempt to avoid capture.

Rainbow Dash curved slightly while reducing drag and pushed the pegasus magic in her wings further. She was catching up, less than five feet away. The mare suddenly rocketed forward, doubling her speed and flashed away from Rainbow Dash. Rainbow began forming her mach cone as she approached her Sonic Rainboom.

Rainbow looked to her right and saw the mare zip by her and into a mountain range. Seeing the rock formation, Rainbow slowed down and turned upward to try and get a better view. She scanned the entire mountain range, looking hard until she saw a black speck on the other side.

Rainbow Dash hovered, then spiraled rapidly towards her target. The mare looked back and saw the blue pegasus approaching. She flew up, a trail of smoke began coming out of her back. Rainbow squinted as she came within touching distance of the mare…

The mare then burst onward, a plume of dust, smoke, and soot left behind. Rainbow Dash braked as fast as she could, the debris got into her eyes and mouth. She spit and rubbed them out, coughing and spitting. She blinked furiously and looked in the direction the mare went.

She saw nothing, except for a bright flash in the distance.

--0o0--
March 16, 1919

“I’m telling you, AJ, that mare was fast!” Rainbow Dash spent the next two hours after her encounter with the strange mare searching, before giving up and flying home.

“Are ya sure ya didn’t dream her up? Ah mean, a mare that’s as fast as ya, an’ nopony’s ever heard of her? Seems mighty suspicious ta me,” Applejack was wheeling a cart of apples for the market in the morning, while Rainbow floated slightly above her, rambling about “the black mare that was really fast”.

“Listen, I’m going to try and find her again today, but I need some help to cover my shift on the weather team,” Rainbow started.

“No need ta keep talkin’, ah got somethin’ that might help,” Applejack stopped her cart and reached into her saddlebags for a large piece of fabric, “Ah was thinkin’ of hirin’ some other pegasus fer the job, but if ya need to… ”

Rainbow Dash pulled the fabric apart, revealing a large banner reading: “Buy Sweet Apple Acres Brand Apples! Fluttershy approved!” It also showed a large face of Fluttershy smiling while surrounded by apples.

“Okay, sure. As long as-” Rainbow Dash was cut short by another voice.

“Rainbow! You’re almost late for your shift!” a blue and yellow pegasus flew up to her.

“Er, can’t do it now Cloud! Sorry, I am much too busy helping my friend advertise her apples by using my other supermodel friend as the mascot!” Rainbow sheepishly smiled as she flew off, “Gottagobye!”

Applejack looked back at Cloud and said, “Yes, she is busy. Ah guess she’s gonna be advertisin’ fer me.”

--0o0--

March 17, 1619

Dear diary,

GOSH DANGIT CARROT TOP! I cannot believe she bribed Rainbow Dash into flying her banner. For money. I thought friendship was worth more than thirty bits, but no, Rainbow wanted some new fangled (emphasis on fangled) Wonderbolts merchandise!

So now I’m stuck with a 30-foot banner and nowhere to hang it. I wish I can figure out a way to get back at her for this. Maybe I could convince the CMC to go crusading near her carrot patch.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
March 19, 1619

“Spike has a crush on Rarity!” Twilight covered her mouth as soon as she burst.

Pinkie Pie appeared in a mirror nearby and sighed, “And you were doing so well.”

“Aaah!” Twilight screamed and fell over when she heard Pinkie’s voice, “What the, how did you- What?” The files were right! U-003’s can teleport places unicorns can’t!

“Sorry Twilight! I was busy visiting a friend of mine, say hello to,” Pinkie reached to the side of the mirror and pulled out a depressed-looking unicorn filly, “Sister of Mine! Well, she’s not my sister, that her name.

“Anyways, I visiting her because her brother asked me to last year, but I forgot about it when I saw a cool rock on ground, and then I took the rock home and made some cupcakes for the customers, and then Applejack asked to borrow my glue gun, but then I ran out of glue, so instead she asked for a batch of uranium-238, but I ran out of that too, so instead I got her some Plutonium-241, and she thanked me, but then I ran out of baking soda, so I went to the supermarket, where I met Rainbow Dash, who was busy doing some stunt flying, but she asked me for compound interest loan that she needed because her mortgage suffered from depreciation caused by… ”

Sister of Mine whispered to Twilight, “Help me, please.”

Twilight nodded and interrupted, “Pinkie Pie, maybe you need to help with Rainbow’s loan problems, those are usually complicated without expert support.”

“... And then the blue monkey told me to modify the warp core using a tachyon emission, which means… Um… I forgot. What did you ask for Twi?” Pinkie furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“Rainbow’s mortgage?”

“Oh yeah! I should go, she’s probably still chasing the mysterious black pegasus. Woooh~” Pinkie waved her forehooves in the air before leaving the mirror.

Twilight blinked, staring at the filly in the mirror. The filly smiled back.

“Thanks, I guess I’ll see you soon,” Sister of Mine faded away.

Twilight’s eyes glazed over and she rubbed her forehead, “I need a drink or a massage.”

--0o0--

March 20, 1619

Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy were enjoying another day at the spa. The three of them were getting hooficures from Aloe Vera (the pink one) and Lotus Blossom (the blue one), each lying down on those bed/cot things while having their hooves waxed by professional beauticians (Their cutie marks were of plants, but you know, close enough).

For Rarity, it was the third time in a week. For Twilight, the first time in over three months. The only reason Twilight was even there was because Fluttershy mentioned her petrification two weeks earlier, and Rarity decided to help Twilight relax.

It was okay, better than talking to ghosts in a mirror. Sure it was nice getting her hoof waxed, and her horn filed, and that other stuff, but she was always so busy. Her studies took up most of her time, and all the things she was learning from Zecora was utterly fascinating! While her knowledge of Smart Cookie was sparse, she actually knew a little more than what was recorded in the Canterlot Archives.

“You know girls, there is something else I learned this week, other than that talking to your friends is better than having everything bottled in,” Rarity started as Lotus Blossom began filing at her hooves.

“That Pinkie Pie can appear anywhere, even inside mirrors?” Twilight replied.

“Or that being a model requires taking diet pills, watching what you eat, and being weird overall?” Fluttershy guessed as Aloe Vera began shaving her wing fuzz with a knife and shaving cream.

“No, I think the true lesson, that one that completely supersedes the previous one is-” Rarity was cut off by a large noise.

BANG!

The door to the boutique was busted down to the ground as six members of the national guard, decked in full golden armor and the symbols of the sun and moon emblazoned on their chests filled in and surrounded the five mares. Six stallions, three of which were pegasi, held up spears and guns in Fluttershy’s direction.

“Aloe Vera, you are under arrest for the kidnapping and murder of Neighsayer! Come slowly with your hooves up!” The guard closest to the door yelled.

“No! You won’t get me!” Aloe screamed as she grabbed Fluttershy, “Nopony moves or she loses her head!” Aloe raised her knife to Fluttershy’s neck.

“Aloe, don’t do anything rash!” Lotus Blossom pleaded.

“Somepony help me! I don’t wanna lose my head!” Fluttershy squeaked before she began sobbing.

“My word, Aloe please be reasonable!” Rarity tried to calm the situation, but to no avail.

Twilight, unlike the others, did not start screaming. Instead she, just like how she was taught, began powering up a spell. In the world of politics, Princess Celestia was a key figure, her rule and influence spread to the corners of the globe. Because of this, anyone with any relation to her was a prime target for kidnapping, blackmail, or any other duplicitous tactic that could get the alicorn to give into demands. And so, with great care, Twilight Sparkle was taught several spells for defense, including a stun spell that required minimal focus.

Twilight listened to the crisis as she closed her eyes. She carefully aimed her spell at Aloe’s head…

BAM! Thump.

Twilight opened her eyes. That was not the sound of a stun spell! She looked up to see a blue earth pony stallion with a blond mane and an hourglass cutie mark standing right behind Aloe. He was holding a stool in his hooves and was breathing heavily. Fluttershy screamed and ran to the safety of her friends, quivering in fear. Sprawled on the floor was Aloe, wounded with a gash that started to bleed from her forehead.

Aloe’s eyes showed anger and determination. She stood up on her legs and charged at the blue stallion with her knife. At the same time, he moved to the side, grabbed Aloe’s foreleg with knife and twisted the weapon out her hooves.

Aloe jumped back and kicked the stallion in his shin. The stallion winced in pain before hitting her with hoof. The blow landed on her back, and she collapsed.

Aloe began push herself up, but the guards quickly surrounded her. Two guards held her down while a third put cuffs on her limbs. She tried to struggle, but she was no match for the guardsponies.

The blue stallion looked at her, wheezed slightly before clearing his throat, “By order of the National Guard, I, Captain Herald Klaxon, hereby arrest you, Aloe Vera, for the murder of Neighsayer, assaulting a member of the guard, attempted ponynapping, and attempted murder. You have the right to remain silent, if you decide not to, blah blah blah, you’re probably guilty anyway. Take her away.”

“Yes sir,” the guards carried Aloe away, leaving only Herald and the mares.

“Er, I guess I’d like to say you’re welcome for stopping a criminal, and sorry for arresting your sister, Miss Blossom,” Herald Klaxon smiled, but quickly stopped when Lotus glared at him.

The awkwardness was intense. Twilight, due to her slowly developing social skills, decided to end it, “Well, I’d like to thank you for this… Whatever it was. Would you, uh, care for some tea?”

Herald blinked before Rarity cut in, “Actually tea sounds marvelous right now. May I come with you two?”

“Yeah, I think that’ll be fine,” Twilight replied.

“Let’s just go now,” Rarity said, walked up, and left.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll see you girls later, bye!” Twilight quickly followed after Rarity. The remaining three ponies stood there in silence.

“Yes, I’d like to thank you, if, um, you’d accept my thanks,” Fluttershy said quietly, “For, um, not letting me die.”

Herald Klaxon smiled before replying, “It was my pleasure ma’am.”

Fluttershy didn’t respond. She merely blushed.

--0o0--

Scootaloo was coloring her drawing of a seagull with six pairs of wings. Sweetie Belle was with her, carefully attempting to glue a rock to a piece of paper. They were having another fun day, doodling in their yellow clubhouse, which took Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle three days to convince Scootaloo that it was not a deathtrap.

Suddenly, Scootaloo began breathing faster, her heart rate rising. She began sweating, her wings started to twitch. She stopped coloring as pain began to flood her mind as she clutched her head in an attempt to stop it. She screamed as the pain intensified. Bad Bad Bad Bad Bad. Not good. No no! Too late, it’s changed! A paradox has occured! History’s changed!

Sweetie Belle looked at Scootaloo in panic, who fell to the floor, “Scootaloo!? What’s wrong?” She reached out and began to gently calm the pegasus down, “It’s okay, it’s just another nightmare.”

“N-no, n-not a nightmare,” Scootaloo barely spoke before growling in pain. She rocked back and forth as the thoughts traveled through her mind. Aloe Vera, you are under arrest for the kidnapping and murder of Neighsayer!

“Paper,” Scootaloo spoke softly, “Pencil.”

Sweetie Belle nodded and looked around for the supplies. When she held them out, Scootaloo took it and began scribbling.

Jack of all trades

Master of none

Master of stares

Meet the pony who changes everything.

Nothing holds true

Neighsayer is gone

Dead, for all time

When the mare of a thousand deaths faces her enemy,

The Killer Heart, she shall begin to lose

Her fate is uncertain

She has changed history

And history is angry.

Alicorn & Alicorn

Shall fight the Jack of All Trades

When the Master of None begins anew…

For when the Jack of Spades, with her wings of steel

Shall fight the Queen of Hearts

Death shall rise

As Black becomes DarkNess

Beware the Killer Heart,

Red Strings

Leader of the Torch

Crystals of Fire

Beware the Killer Heart

Beware

You cannot do this alone.

We need help.

Scootaloo stopped writing. The pain had mostly subsided, but she understood what was wrong. Somepony changed history, and a paradox has occurred. Why are we not dead? Why hasn’t everything gone to Tartarus?

“Scootaloo? What is this? What do you mean ‘We need help’?” Sweetie Belle was completely worried, one second her friend was cringing in pain, the next writing down nonsense phrases.

“Exactly what it means. We need somepony to help us.” But who?

She tried thinking of who to tell. Fluttershy? No, she’s involved, and now dangerous. Applejack? NO! She’s dangerous, as much as Fluttershy, but worse. She’s hiding something. Cheerilee? No. Working with Applejack. The Mayor? No, she won’t help us.

Mom? No. Applejack has gotten to her.

…

I can’t trust my mom.

I can’t trust her.

If I can’t trust her, who can I trust?

Who’s left?

Rainbow Dash. She can help. She’s not hiding anything. We can trust her.

Scootaloo straightened, her eyes grew determined, “We have to talk to Rainbow Dash.”

Author's Note

Next chapter will hopefully be shorter, as well as updating sooner.

Dead Mare Trotting

March 31, 1619
Ponyville Elementary

It was a hard math test. Twenty-five foals struggling to do basic algebra and even more basic geometry. Twenty-five pencils scribbled away on twenty-five pieces of paper. Scootaloo sat in the far right side of the class, trying to figure out the area of a rectangle. It was… Base times height. Or maybe side time side. Both? Wait, what about dividing? I’m sure I have to divide somewhere. Or was that for triangles? Circles?

Scootaloo had spent another restless night writing down everything she “knew”. She knew about Sapphire Shores’ musical patterns partially harmonizing with that of an ancient Ponynesian tribe. She knew that the Mayor was some sort of non-equine entity from beyond the stars. She knew that her teacher, Applejack, and her mother were all involved in some plot to do… something.

What she didn’t know was how to find the area of a rectangle. After five minutes of trying to remember formulas she never studied, she decided to skip to the extra credit question:

List as many digits of π that you can remember.

Scootaloo stopped. She knew what pi was. Sort of. It was around three, and was useful in finding the area of a circle… which she did not know the formula for. She was stuck.

Not only that, but she was doomed. She hadn’t studied for this test, and wasn’t always that great of a student. She had only completed about half of the questions, but those she answered weren’t necessarily correct. Her only hope was the extra credit question. Which she had no idea what the answer to it was.

She started to write slowly:

She stopped. Then, without thinking, she began to write more:

3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148…

The exasperated filly stopped as she looked at her paper. Her heart began pumping faster as she went back to the question about the rectangle. She began writing her answer:

The area of a rectangle is…

Her hoof began writing again as the thought entered her mind. The area of a rectangle is base times height.

Scootaloo tried plugging in some numbers:

6 x 22 =

Her hoof filled it in without thinking. 6 x 22 = 132.

She kept going, and after only five minutes, she had completed the rest of the math test.

She looked at her hooves before looking at her flank. Still no cutie mark. Well, at least I could try to see what else I can do with this…

--0o0--

April 3, 1619
Fluttershy’s Cottage of Doom
(According to Scootaloo)

“It’s alright Mr. Mouse, just get some rest and you’ll be fine,” Fluttershy assured the mouse in the world’s smallest wheelchair as he rolled back into his mouse hole. Fluttershy loved taking care of her animals, it was a nice way to relax, especially considering what had happened recently.

Despite the comfort she got from the guards and her friends, Fluttershy still had hangups from being held hostage by a beautician. She had spent the last several days in her cottage, only visited by her friends and a psychologist sent in by the guard. He was personally sent there by Princess Celestia. Yet Fluttershy was still surprised to learn who he was.

“Hello. I’m Herald Klaxon, your new psychologist,” the blond earth pony said with a smile.

Ever since then, Fluttershy has been meeting with him daily, talking about the incident and Fluttershy’s personal issues. The day before, Herald asked her a very specific question at the end of their session:

“Do you take care of sick animals because you want to, or is it because you need to? Is the health of others paramount to yours?”

Fluttershy thought it was a silly question. Of course she needed it. It was her cutie mark, her destiny! To go against your cutie mark would be like trying to swim up a volcano with no hooves! It is the most important aspect of a pony, unchangeable and sacrosanct. Her cutie mark was caring for animals, ergo she cares for animals. No ifs or buts about it.

Yet, she couldn’t help but have this nagging feeling…

Fluttershy’s journey into introspection was cut short by Angel Bunny rushing up to her, waving around a pocket watch and chittering away. Fluttershy turned around and looked at Angel, looking at the small watch that the rabbit was holding.

“Oh my, Angel, is it that time already? Oh dear, oh dear, I’m late for the brunch. What should I do? Should I go? Oh my, oh my, oh my… ”

--0o0--

Princess Celestia smiled as she looked out towards all her little ponies enjoying the brunch she planned. As expected, Rarity was wearing an overly decorated dress, Fluttershy was having a quiet conversation, and Twilight was busy fussing over everything along with the Cakes. Celestia expected that.

She understood that her student and friends should be comforted after the ordeal two weeks earlier. She was there to remind them that they were not alone. That they were protected, that help was available, even if Celestia was only able to help from a distance. The incident was not going to happen again.

Her guards, especially Captain Klaxon, were swift. They were able to interrogate the prisoner, Aloe Vera, on the whereabouts of Black Ness. As expected, she denied any knowledge of her existence. Schematics for the crystal star during Hearthwarming’s Eve were found in Neighsayer’s throat. Aloe continued denying.

Thus, the best psions available, including Commander Soarin, were tasked with extracting the memories from her mind. It would probably take at least another week, but they were making progress.

Princess Celestia looked forward, smiling elegantly as she looked out towards her subjects. This is what I’m trying to save. Diligent workers like the Cakes. Party-goers like Pinkie. Awkward mares like Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Spike, ever diligent, always helping out. And faithful students… They all don’t know what is happening, the secret war taking place. Untroubled, dealing with relatively minor problems. I envy them.

Celestia looked to her left and saw Applejack moving back and forth, unsure of which food to eat first. Applejack kept opening her mouth, swaying side to side, from the salad to sandwich and back again. The alicorn smiled inside at the attempt to have table manners.

--0o0--

Applejack couldn’t take it. Her neck was constantly moving back and forth and her jaw was unable to grasp anything. That is it! No more Do-It-Yourself brain biopsies! Argh, I can’t tell the difference between left and right, and my muscles are confusing the hay out of me.

Grumbling, she tried to use her hooves to reach for some food, but to no avail. She merely slipped and fell over. I can still hear ponies calling me “silly”. You get lobotomized one time, and nobody will ever let you live it down!

She was about to give up, but was struck with inspiration. Maybe I could try teleporting the food into my stomach. Eh, what could go wrong?

She tried reaching for her Vortex Manipulator, but realized the problem. Okay, so typing in coordinates is out of the question. I’m just going to take a break and reset my body in the restroom.

Applejack slipped away while the Princess pranked the Cakes using tea. She looked at the alicorn with a feeling of anger in her stomach. Deep, steady breaths. She is not the enemy. She is an obstacle. An evil, murdering witch-

The incognito mare trotted quickly into the restroom. It’s getting worse. A resurrection won’t do it. I’m going to need some help.

--0o0--

Scootaloo buzzed her wings in irritation as she was blocked by the two guards in front of her. She had tried her best to convince the pegasi guards in front of Sugarcube Corner to let her enter. She had spent two weeks trying to find Rainbow Dash, but every attempt had failed.

For whatever reason, the rainbow-maned pegasus avoided everyone except for Fluttershy ever since the incident with Aloe. The murder of Neighsayer had been hot news for days since the arrest. Because of the blue pony.

“Come on, let me in! I gotta tell Rainbow Dash something important!” the filly yelled.

“No! You are not on the list, now scram, kid!” the guard to her left said menacingly.

Scootaloo frowned and squinted in a failed attempt to look threatening. She continued staring until she had an idea. What if I…

She trotted back a few steps before the wave of information hit her. She braced herself, and as the wave passed she became more determined. Alright, I can do this. She stepped forward again and looked straight in the eye of the guard on the left.

“Listen here, White feather!” Scootaloo shouted. The guard on the left’s ears perked when he heard his name.

“I don’t think your mother would be happy at you, since you just yelled at a filly!” Scootaloo continued, “Also your brother would want you to remember what happened the last time!”

White Feather ground his teeth, “Why you little-”

“And-and your father feels even more ashamed now than ever! Ever since Storm Chaser broke up with you, you’ve been an angry misanthrope!” Scootaloo kept going, digging in her verbal attacks.

The guard on the right stepped forward, “Alright you’ve made your point. Now get inside, and never talk to him again.”

Scootaloo nodded and proceeded to enter. White Feather began to shake as he gripped his partner tightly, trying to hold back tears. Scootaloo stopped when she saw the two guards, and she decided it was time to leave.

She walked away, deciding to return home. I shouldn’t have done that. I went too far.

The orange pegasus sighed as she passed several ponies. Why did I do that? I could have done anything else. I never even did this to Diamond Tiara! He was just doing his job. I could have just waited.

She continued down the road. She passed by Neighsayer’s boarded home. Is it really that important? How do I know about Neighsayer? I only heard recently that they caught who killed him.

Scootaloo passed by the park and the town hall. She continued as her thoughts began to jumble again. How do I know these things? Why am I so sure? It’s all crazy. Applejack’s not bad. Fluttershy isn’t dangerous. We don’t need help, but I do.

After ten minutes of walking, she approached her house. Is there anypony out there who can help me?

--0o0--

Despite visiting the underground chambers located beneath Sweet Apple Acres, Cheerilee couldn’t help but feel jittery every time she passed the dwarf star alloy door and into the sanctum. Once she entered, she quickly trotted past the odd relics of impending doom towards a door at the end of the expansive room.

The door appeared to be a normal wooden door painted white, but once Cheerilee opened it, she was greeted with an empty metal elevator complete with muzak. It had a chrome finish and was about seven feet squared. The elevator was twice as tall as a normal pony. She stepped in and looked at the control panel to side.

Cheerilee closed the wooden door, then noted the floors listed:

-1. Main Vault
-2. Greenhouse
-3. File Room
-4. Biohazard (Warning: Biohazard)
-5. Gun Range
-6. Armory
-7. Workshop (Warning: May cause cancer)
-8. Forge (Do not enter unless magma-proof)
-9. W-Core (Do not enter unless immortal: that means you, Cheerilee!)

She rolled her eyes as she pressed “Workshop” and waited as the elevator began to vibrate. A couple seconds of lighting errors followed by a minute of mild screeching later, the elevator stopped moving, then suddenly made a Ding! sound.

Cheerilee sighed as she opened the door to reveal a dimly lit room about two hundred square feet with an eight foot tall ceiling. The room was cluttered, filled with strange metal objects hanging from the ceiling by string as well as odd diagrams and blueprints covering the walls. To the side was a work table full of tools and papers strewn across it. A book labeled “No. 22” was opened to show a sketch of metal pony.

In the center of the workshop was an exoskeleton lying backside up, four hooves pointed towards the tail end. It resembled an incomplete Cyberpony, only missing its head and the chest cavity being open. It also had wings. They were black, covered in a fabric that was wound tightly. Cheerilee noted the small blue lights blinking on the wing tips.

The exoskeleton was suspended by rope, and the innards were completely visible. If Cheerilee didn’t know any better, she would have suspected that Applejack was building herself a pegasus body to wrap herself in.

But that was utterly ridiculous, Cheerilee peered inside the inner workings where she noticed that it was covered in sharp needles. The spine protruded several spikes long enough to skewer a pony. Any pony crazy enough to put it on would die-

Cheerilee facehooved. Of course. Build yourself a supersuit, make it impossible for anypony else to use.

Despite the insanity of what she was observing, she couldn’t help but marvel at its ingenuity. Rainbow Dash had described the incident a while back to many ponies, but fell mostly to deaf ears, as the news that the local spa was home to a murderer was much more interesting than two pegasi chasing each other.

What she did listen to, however, was at the very least somewhat interesting. A black pegasus outmaneuvering Rainbow Dash, making ninety-degree turns able to fly and reaching speeds that would put most pegasi in the dust. At any other time, it would have been a great mystery, but murder beats races every time.

Cheerilee scanned the wings, noticing that the energy source seemed to come from a small batteries wrapped along the sides. After staring at the contraption with awe, she heard the sound of a whistle.

“Ya like? It’s workin’ pretty well, but it’s still got some kinks. Also can’t go faster than mach 6, but teleportin’ will probably cover it,” Applejack said as she scrubbed the exoskeleton’s wings with a brush.

"M-mach 6!?” Cheerilee sputtered, “That is ridiculously fast! There’s only a hoofful of pegasi that can reach mach 4! And you think you can go faster?!”

“Rainbow Dash clocks in at around Mach 10. Luna can reach escape velocity. Ah’m not sure about others, but considerin’ the folks ah deal with, ah gotta pass mach 11, minimum. After this, ah need ta add some magic disruptors and weapons,” Applejack answered bluntly.

“How did you beat Rainbow?” Cheerilee asked.

“She only goes up ta mach 10 with a sonic rainboom, otherwise she’s slower’n me. But never mind that, ah need yer help with something.”

“What do you need?” Cheerilee asked.

“Ah need some help.”

--0o0--

As Twilight and Fluttershy chased the runaway phoenix, their mission ended suddenly as the odd bird suddenly and inexplicably burst into flames, then transmuted into ash. As the gasping passed through the town square, Celestia comforted the pile of hyper-fried chicken, the ashes reconstituted itself into a majestic red and gold bird of wondrous grace.

Fluttershy, the expert on all non-magical animals, was completely in shock, “I don't understand! What is that thing? What happened to Philomena?”

Princess Celestia smiled, “This is Philomena. She's quite a sight, as I said. But nothing unusual for a phoenix. Isn't that right, Philomena?”

Philomena squawked as she stretched her wings.

“A… A phoenix?” Fluttershy asked with confusion.

Princess Celestia answered Fluttershy’s question with amusement, “A phoenix is a majestic and magical bird. Legends say that phoenixes hailed from the time vortex, and so must regenerate every so often. While it appears healthy most of the time, every so often it must regenerate by shedding all of its feathers and bursting into flame.”

Celestia came up close to Fluttershy and whispered, “Rather melodramatic, if you ask me.”

“It then rises from the ashes, fresh as a daisy. All just a normal part of the life cycle of a phoenix. Every time she does so, she comes back, albeit slightly different in size and shape. Her personality might change a little, but overall she’s still a mischievous little bird. Philomena here took the occasion to have a little fun with you, Fluttershy. Say you're sorry, young lady.”

Philomena flew close to Fluttershy, nuzzling her. Fluttershy smiled, but then regained her confusion, “So… aren't you gonna banish me? Or throw me in a dungeon? Or banish me and then throw me in a dungeon in the place that you banish me to?”

“Of course not, my little pony. Where on Earth would you get such an idea?” Celestia was completely confused. I guess some things stay in public memory longer than I thought.

Fluttershy glanced at Twilight, who blushed slightly, “I guess I have some imagination.”

Twilight spoke up, “Fluttershy really did do everything she could to try to take care of Philomena for you.”

Celestia smiled as she told her student, “I do appreciate that your heart was in the right place, child. But all you had to do was ask me and I could have told you Philomena was a phoenix and saved you all this trouble.” I guess keeping things secret has become sort of a bad habit.

Fluttershy grinned as well, “I know. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions. Next time I'll ask before taking matters into my own hooves.”

Twilight blinked then asked, “Should I write you a letter about that lesson, Princess?”

Princess Celestia smiled before a small laugh escaped her lips, “No, that's quite all right. I think I can remember.”

Philomena flew down again and gave Fluttershy one of her feathers, “It's beautiful. Thank you, Philomena. No hard feelings.”

Philomena squawked as Rainbow Dash flew up to her. Rainbow whispered into Philomena’s ears, then the two of them went over to the guards, both of whom were stoic as ever. Rainbow Dash smirked as she pulled out a red feather and tickled the two guards.

With three seconds, the two guards were laughing uncontrollably. Soon after, the infectious laughter spread across the town square as all the ponies and birds laughed together.

--0o0--

Princess Celestia had left Ponyville on her golden chariot. As the vehicle flew across the sky and soared back to the mountainside city of Canterlot, the ponies below were all happy as another successful princess visit went off without a hitch. All except one.

Scootaloo sighed from a distance as she remembered what she saw. Rainbow Dash made the guards smile and laugh, whereas I only made them cry. How can I be her greatest fan if I end up doing the opposite of what she would do?

What would Rainbow Dash do? She’s the element of Loyalty. What I’ve been trying to tell her would break that. It’ll spread mistrust. It will ruin her friendship. Harmony would be broken.

But what about Applejack? She’s the element of Honesty, yet she’s keeping secrets from her friends. A secret so dangerous, it scares even the princess. She’s already broken harmony, she no longer represents her element.

I need to tell her. It’s the only way.

Scootaloo got off her scooter and ran towards the rainbow maned pegasus, “Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow Dash flew down towards the filly, “Hey squirt, how’s my number one fan doing?”

“Um, okay I guess, but Rainbow Dash, I need to tell you something important!” Scootaloo’s wings buzzed as she began squirming.

“Okay, how important is this exactly?” Rainbow Dash’s skepticism began to creep as she raised an eyebrow.

“It’s about the black pegasus from earlier, and Applejack is in cahoots with my mom and Cheerilee to be a terrorist group called Black Ness and mmph!” Scootaloo’s rambling was cut off by a blue hoof being put over her muzzle.

Rainbow Dash picked up Scootaloo, then carried her into a quiet alley, far away from eavesdroppers, “Okay Scoots, now slow down and tell me everything.”

Rainbow’s magenta eyes grew determined as Scootaloo began recounting every little tidbit over the past several months, starting with last Nightmare Night…

--0o0--

It was sunset at Sweet Apple Acres as Big Macintosh was counting the seedlings watered during the day.

“Message for Applejack.”

Big Macintosh looked up to see a gray earth pony with a treble cutie mark. Her ink black mane and serious expression could only mean one thing. Time for business, “Eeyup. I’ll get her.”

The red stallion went back inside his home. He called out, “Applejack, ya got mail!”

“Be there in a bit!”

Big Mac went outside and continued to count the seedlings. The gray mare shifted to the side, “So… You know Applejack for long.”

Big Mac said, “Eeyup,” then went back to counting.

“Yeah, I’ve known her for about six years. Met her a while before Canary Wharf, thought she was a bit odd and all. A while before that, there was this creep that blackmailed me with the cure for Sabre Syndrome.

“Can you believe it? A cure for a disease that has ravaged the unicorn population for generations, my mom one of them. The saying goes, ‘If you live in Canterlot, chances are you know at least three unicorns afflicted with Sabre.’ I couldn’t say no, and then after pulling off a heist of the Canterlot Archives, I got jailed by Torchwood for stealing alien tech.

“Alien tech? It’s crazy, in my hooves, I was holding technology that came from space. Made by strange beings from beyond the stars, living, breathing, creating things I could only dream of,” the mare sighed as she looked at the setting sun.

“Anyways, after I stole the thing from the archives, I took it home and looked at it. It was this weird cylinder made of odd metal with a circuit running through the back. It used a Type W battery. It was apparently some sort of heat ray.

“I messed around with it, then met up with the guys blackmailing me. I was about to make the switch, the gadget for the serum, but then we were found. Torchwood broke in, held everypony in the room responsible and I was jailed indefinitely.

The mare looked back at Big Mac before finishing, “I spent two months in there before Applejack pulled some strings and released me. Ever since then, I worked for her. My mom’s stable now, but it was too late to cure her. She’s still in the coma ward today.”

The mare spoke one last time, “Oh yeah, my name’s Octavia by the way.”

Big Macintosh had finished counting the seedlings, all 645 of them, yet continued to listen to her story. In the meantime, he filled up his cart with bags of fertilizer. As he was doing so, the front door to the house opened as Applejack came out; her signature stetson fitted atop her head.

“What do ya got fer me this time?” Applejack asked as she trotted towards the two ponies.

“It’s a message.”

“Really? And what was that the two o’ ya were talkin’ about?” Applejack asked again as she took the envelope in her hooves.

“Just life, you know, it’s great mysteries and complexities,” Octavia said with a restful sigh.

“Okay, what have you been sniffin’?” Applejack got closer to Octavia and smelled her breath. It reeked of chlorine.

“Ya went swimmin’?” Applejack asked, her face becoming bemused.

“It was for the best, I haven’t felt like this in a long time,” Octavia smiled as she turned around and skipped out of the orchard. Big Mac frowned, looked at Applejack, then raised his left eyebrow.

“Ah’m gonna say either morphine or intense philosophical debate that changed her life for the better,” Applejack opened the envelope in her hooves. Inside was a note:

A,

Come to Appleloosa as quickly as you can. Newspeak has gone missing. We’ve also been having problems with the buffalo. Need some help investigating.

-B.

Applejack turned around and began trotting back into the house, “AJ, what’s the matter?” Big Macintosh asked with concern.

“Business as usual. Ah need you ta go dig up Bloomberg, pack him in a bag and leave’m by the doorstep by tomorrow afternoon. Can ya do that?”

Big Mac sighed, then went to get his shovel, “Eeyup.”

--0o0--
April 5, 1619

“Thanks everypony. Bloomberg here and ah really appreciate you guys bein’ here fer us,” Applejack told her friends as they boarded the Friendship Express, which was departing for Appleloosa, the frontier town out in the desert.

“Not a problem, Applejack, we’re always here to help a friend,” Twilight replied.

“Yeah! I mean, you are totally a great friend, always dependable, and loyal, and honest, you could totally take the place of one of us in case of emergency, unless you’re Spike, because he’s a dragon. Ooh! You can talk to trees, which is like Fluttershy, except with animals! You’re the tree whisperer!” Pinkie Pie rambled until she started playing with the confetti coming out of her ears.

“Yeah, I guess Pinkie’s right, you are dependable, loyal, and honest,” Rainbow Dash said. Or not. What are you hiding? Scootaloo pointed out enough holes in your story. Bloomberg doesn’t need to go to Appleloosa, you do. Why?

“Okay, girls, ah need ta prep Bloomberg fer tomorrow,” Applejack said as she went towards the car door, “See ya’ll in a bit”

--0o0--

Applejack walked past several carriages until she reached the caboose. She opened the door to see Bloomberg the apple tree lying on his side. She walked up to him, pulling up a stool, then proceeded to sit down.

“Howdy Bloomberg. Sorry fer diggin’ you up without prior notice, it’s just really urgent,” Applejack rubbed her eyes.

“...”

“Don’t look at me like that! Seriously, Neighsayer’s missin’, and it’s bad enough ah had ta come up with an excuse. Now ah don’t need mah tree glarin’ at me! You’ll like Appleloosa, it’s got nice trees, plenty of good soil, and some of the best apple farmers around.”

“...”

“Fine, whatever. Give me the silent treatment. Rarity’ll probably pop in soon, so act natural. Okay with that?”

“... Eeyup.”

--0o0--
April 7, 1619

Two days, a war, and an intense negotiation later, the ponies of Appleloosa and the buffalo tribe of the eastern winds made peace. Harmony was restored to the land, and everyone was happy. Except for a certain immortal.

Applejack told her friends that she had stuff to do, and that was the truth. She just couldn’t say what it was.

She had talked to several dozen ponies about Neighsayer’s whereabouts, but all the leads came to a dead end. Braeburn, her ever trustworthy relative, gave her a list of everybody, pony or buffalo, that Neighsayer came into contact with. When that reached another dead end, Applejack increased her search parameters.

Everybody in the the town was accounted for when Neighsayer disappeared. That left travelers, tourists, and the buffalo. No travelers within 150 feet of him when he went missing. No tourists two days before and three days after. That left the buffalo.

Applejack went through some records Braeburn had regarding Appleloosa’s former Torchwood branch. She looked through several files before she saw one that made her smack herself in the head.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Should have kept track over the years.

Applejack grabbed her jacket and trotted out of city hall, and towards the buffalo camp.

--0o0--

Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rarity were beginning to board the train home. Earlier, Applejack told them that she had some unfinished business, and that she would return home in a couple of days. They had no reason not to believe her. Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, wanted to stay in Appleloosa for an extra night for some sightseeing.

Rainbow Dash lied. She spent the time she was supposedly “sightseeing” searching for Applejack. As she flew in the night sky, watching the stars shine, she noticed a strange chill as wind blew past her wings. That’s odd, this is supposed to be a desert.

She continued flying, scanning the ground for any sign of Applejack. She came towards the buffalo camp, a circle of tents numbering around twenty, with several buffalo milling around. Rainbow noticed how they had set up only two miles from the town. Well, at least they think we’re trustworthy.

Eventually, Rainbow Dash saw Applejack walking towards a large tent on the outskirts of the camp. For some reason, she wore a black jacket, similar to the one she wore on Nightmare Night. Her stetson was gone, and her face remained grim. The frown extended far enough, such strength that the buffalo around her quickly walked past, avoiding the orange earth pony.

Well, what do we have here? Rainbow’s excitement and anxiety flared slightly. She had watched Applejack throughout the day, noticing how she talked to strangers, interviewing them for information dealing with “Newspeak”. Rainbow had never heard of him, but Applejack was angry nearly the entire time. She knew him very well, from what Rainbow Dash could gather.

Rainbow Dash hid herself using a particularly dark cloud, the only one she could find in the entire desert. Riding on top of it, the cloud hid her well, and she blended in with the night sky. Applejack reached the tent, which was shaped like a cone, about seven feet high and six feet in diameter. A faint green light glew from the inside. She went inside, closing the opening behind her. Rainbow Dash moved her cloud towards a flap in the top of the teepee.

Rainbow peeked inside. She barely held back her gasp.

Inside the teepee was Applejack standing in front of a cauldron filled with a bubbling green liquid. The only light came from the cauldron, which flickered intermittently. Lining the inside was a string that was beaded with skulls. Real life, completely legitimate pony skulls.

Even more unbelievable was the buffalo standing on the other side of the cauldron, facing opposite to Applejack:

Little Strongheart.

The same Little Strongheart that Rainbow Dash and her friends came to know after her father declared war on Appleloosa. The same sweet buffalo who was almost as kind as Fluttershy, and nearly as fast as Rainbow Dash on land.

The young female buffalo smiled at the orange earth pony as she entered the tent; her hooves were polishing the side of the cauldron with a rag. When she saw Applejack, Strongheart threw her rag to side and spoke, “Ah, good to see you again Applejack. Nice night for a walk?”

“Cut the horse apples. You know why ah’m here,” Applejack continued staring at Strongheart.

“Little Strongheart continued smiling cheerfully as she asked, “You’re here about him, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Where is Newspeak?” Applejack took an intimidating stance. squaring her shoulders and widening the space between her legs slightly.

“Oh, you and I both know that’s not his name. Come on, did the poor pegasus not deserve to be called by his real name?”

“Fine. Where’s Neighsayer?” Applejack looked more disgruntled than angry now.

When Rainbow Dash heard the name, a dozen conversations popped into her head. All whispering about what happened. Aloe Vera arrested for murder. Neighsayer’s body found after the Royal Guard dug up some ice west of Ponyville. Drowned to death. Suspicious connections to the terrorist group Black Ness. The crystal star schematics found in Neighsayer’s throat.

Little Strongheart continued smiling, but the look on her face became slightly sinister, “Dear me, Applejack, you've gone soft after all these years. Look in this cauldron, what do you see?”

Applejack looked over the bubbling green liquid, strange swirls flowing. She saw…

“It’s him. Now, are ya going to tell me why?” Applejack questioned.

“Why does anybody do anything? I guess for the benefit,” Strongheart took out a large wooden spoon and stirred the liquid in the cauldron, “What can I say? Pegasus bones are incredibly useful. I haven’t been able to run this fast since I was… little.”

Little Strongheart’s smile grew wider as she stirred, “Now I have a question for you. What are you going to do about it?”

“...”

“Oh, don’t speak if you don’t want to. I am perfectly capable of spelling out your choices. One, kill me. Two, have me arrested. Or three, leave me alone and just ignore my further… bodily acquisitions,” Strongheart sighed as she took a sip of the liquid, “Hmm, needs some more dragon scales.”

“Ya booby trapped yerself,” Applejack replied.

“Oh, you are a smart mare. I can see why my grandmother spoke so fondly of you. If you kill me, then I die, but I left evidence pointing towards the sheriff. I die a martyr, war comes back. Xenophobia rises, ponies never trust other species again. The war happens. You fail.

“You get me arrested, I leave enough evidence connecting the crystal star to your farm. You go to jail, all your friends leave you, harmony ends. Star searcher begins a century earlier. The war happens even quicker. Also, a buffalo murdering ponies? Protests as far as the eye can see.

“Don’t you see? I’ve covered everything. You leave me alone, and I’ll only kill one pony a year. That’s about 100 more deaths, compared to, oh I don’t know, 300 million,” Strongheart stood up and walked around to the orange mare, her face less than a foot from Applejack, “Isn’t that right, Black Ness?”

Rainbow Dash put her hoof over her muzzle, trying extremely hard not to scream.

"I think that protecting Equestria from its destiny is more important than a few deaths. After all, all I want is enough resources to support my sorcery. In exchange, I won’t rat you out to the Royal Guard," Strongheart smirked before turning around to check on her concoction.

“Ah’ll give mahself to you. Every week, ah’ll come to you. Take everything you need from me, ah’m like the fountain of youth. Just don’t kill any more ponies.”

“Ha! You think I want immortality? That’s boring of you to think. You’re an earth pony, I need more than you. Pegasi grant me more dexterity, unicorns more focused magic, and even a donkey can increase my eyesight much better than an average earth pony,” Strongheart cackled madly.

"What makes you think ah'm gonna let you get away with this?" Applejack glared at the buffalo sorceress with anger seething through her voice.

"Oh, Applejack, you won't let me get away with this. I've won. There's nothing you can so about it."

"Well, ah'm not goin' down quietly. Ah've got some tricks up mah sleeve."

"Like the teacher? Or the Cyberpony? Please, I've accounted for everything. Even that explosive griffon of yours. You use her, I connect GILDA back to you."

Gilda's in on this too? How deep does this go? Rainbow Dash fought every urge to scream, every instinct to fly away and call for help.

"You've lost. Give up, retreat and love to fight another day. Or are you so stubborn as to let your immortality dictate your 'never stop until it's done' mindset? Don’t you get it? Even if what I did was wrong, you have no chance of stopping me. In history’s eyes, I didn’t do anything.”

“You killed an innocent pony,” Applejack retorted.

“Did I? I could have sworn he died six months ago, they even found his body and everything. Even that book you own, it said he died on Nightmare Night. Aloe Vera drowned him, stuck his body in a freezer, then dumped him outside of town and buried him under some ice.

“The body I have? Nopony. According to fate, he died, and there’s nothing to stop it. You can’t control destiny. Try as you might, it will catch up to you. One day, Applejack, you will die, permanently. You've escaped it for four hundred years and have been a thorn in history’s side.

“You think you have what it takes? The Doctor can’t even do it, and you have the gall to believe you even had a chance? Fate is immutable, as your cutie mark shows,” Little Strongheart pointed to Applejack’s three apple cutie mark, “Your cutie mark defined your destiny the very moment it appeared. You ponies are blessed with knowing your purpose in life, and yet you act as though it’s a curse. Take your allotment in life, know your place!

“There isn’t anything you can do. Your plan to change history, it’s doomed. Failed the moment it formed in your unaging mind. Chaos only goes so far, black always loses to white, and your future will happen.

“You’ve changed history, that is true, but it hasn’t changed enough. You. Have. Lost. Neighsayer won’t come back. Your friends won’t either. Even if you defeat Celestia, what then? You rule? Hah! You and I both know you aren’t fit. Celestia will end up the same way every time. The more you push history, the more it pushes back. It’s like a rubber band, it either goes back to normal, or it breaks.

“And that’s all I have to say to you. Oh, and before I forget,” Strongheart walked back to her side and resumed stirring her cauldron, “My employer sends her regards. She knows you won’t listen, but know that you are failing.”

Applejack stared silently at the emerald smoke billowing from the cauldron. After a moment, she sighed and trotted out of the tent. The mare reached into her coat and pulled out her trademark stetson, which she placed atop her head.

The sky remained dark, only the stars were visible, as well as a couple of fires from the buffalo. Applejack began trotting towards Appleloosa silently, the open expanse of desert surrounding her. Rainbow Dash saw this and began flying to catch up to her. I have to talk to her NOW.

Rainbow Dash followed Applejack until they were both out of eyesight from the camp. Rainbow’s cloud had started to disintegrate, being barely large enough to hide Rainbow’s figure.

Applejack continued trotting before abruptly stopping, “Ah know yer there, Rainbow. Get down here and talk ta me.”

Rainbow Dash froze. Her eyes bulged out, her wings twitched. She remembered Scootaloo’s warning: She’s dangerous. She’s much smarter than she appears, it’s all an act.

Rainbow Dash’s heart began beating faster, her breathing became shallow and ragged. She peeked over her cloud to see an angry earth pony staring back, “Are ya gonna come down, or am ah gonna have ta make ya?”

Rainbow Dash blinked and gulped as she saw Applejack pull out a lasso out of her hat. Sighing in defeat, Rainbow Dash lowered her cloud down to ground level. She looked straight into Applejack’s eyes, before glancing away due to sheer anxiety and nervousness.

“So you know. Kinda expected Twilight to find out first. What do you want to ask?” Applejack’s shoulders slumped back.

For the first time, Rainbow Dash saw her for what she truly was: a tired mare way out of her depth, trying so hard to do something impossible. Unable to ask for help from her friends, not because she was prideful, but out of fear.

“Applejack, what are you?”

Applejack sighed before answering, “Ah’m an earth pony, ‘cept not entirely. Ah am immortal, unable to die. Ah’ve spent the last 400 or so years dealin’ with that.”

“And… You’re Black Ness?”

“Yeah, ah am. But ta be fair, ah didn’t do all the stuff they said. Only about half of it. If they can’t explain it, or it’s gotta do with aliens, they blame it on me.”

“Aliens?”

“Long story short, they’re real, and before you ask, ah am not one. Ah’m merely a time traveler.”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow in skepticism.

“Oh, so ya believe in immortality and aliens, but not time travel?” Applejack said with irritation.

“Celestia and Luna are immortal, so it’s not that much of a stretch. But time travel and aliens? That sounds insane and complicated.”

“It is. It’s a long story, and it’ll be too long to-”

“Then let’s hear it.”

Applejack froze, “Ah’m sorry what?”

Rainbow Dash’s face showed determination, “Let’s hear it. Tell me everything, from the beginning. The aliens, the war, time travel, all of it.”

Applejack stared at the pegasus before taking in a breath, “Alright, ah’ve been meaning to get this off mah chest, so let’s do it.”

“Alright! Let’s go into town and get a hotel,” Rainbow Dash jumped off her cloud and began hovering towards Appleloosa.

“Hold on there, sugarcube. Ah got another place in mind,” Applejack replied. Rainbow Dash dropped down to the ground.

“What place do want to go to?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Not a what. Who,” Applejack grabbed onto the pegasus while pulling up the sleeve of her jacket, revealing a strange watch on her hoof.

“Alpha seven Tango Charlie Pie,” Applejack exclaimed. The watch beeped before…

Bzzt! Warp-Worp!

--0o0--
Ponyville

Bzzt! Warp-Worp!

A flash of light appeared inside a small house. The two mares landed inside a living room, decorated with a fireplace, couch, and a desk, which was covered with stacks of paper and markers. When they appeared, Rainbow Dash lurched forward, surprise taking her astride.

“What the? Did we just- What? Where are we!?” Rainbow Dash panicked and looked around at their new surroundings.

“To answer yer questions, yes, we teleported. We’re now back in Ponyville, more specifically, we’re at-”

Bang!

“Alright, nopony move! I have a ruler and I’m not afraid to use it!” Rainbow and Applejack turned around to see a frazzled maned earth pony with a three flower cutie mark waving around a ruler.

The purple earth pony mare looked at the two intruders and groaned, “Seriously!? Applejack, I told you, no popping into my house, it’s completely disrespectful!”

Rainbow Dash’s face showed confusion once more, “Wait, Cheerilee, you know that Applejack’s-!?”

“An immortal, annoying, crazy mare with no sense of manners or etiquette? Yes, I do,” she turned to Applejack, “Now get over here so I can crack open your skull with this ruler, watch you bleed out, revive, then do it again.”

“Ah told you, ya’ll can only do that if ah break the law,” Applejack replied.

“You broke into my house!” Cheerilee yelled.

“Ah have a key! Ah just didn’t bother to use it,” Applejack responded.

“I never gave you a key!” Cheerilee’s voiced raised higher.

“Ya dropped it, and ah’ve been meanin’ ta return it to you!”

“Funny how it must have dropped out of my safety deposit-”

“ENOUGH!” Rainbow Dash yelled at the top of her lungs.

“Geez, Rainbow, ya don’t hafta get so miffed,” Applejack advised.

“Wh-what!? But I- You two,” Rainbow Dash blurted.

“Yeah, come on, it’s only a key,” Cheerilee added.

“You- and you, loud- Aargh!” Rainbow Dash slumped down onto the nearby couch.

Cheerilee turned on a nearby lamp, then proceeded to the kitchen, “Can I get you two anything?”

“No, ah think we’re good,” Applejack answered.

“Okay,” Cheerilee got herself a cup of water and made her way to the couch, sitting to Rainbow Dash’s right, “So, why are you two here in my house at 1:30 in the morning?”

“Remember what we talked about earlier? Ah think it’s time ah started. Ya know, tellin’ you guys mah story, gettin’ it off mah chest.”

“Well then, go ahead,” Cheerilee said as she took a sip of her water.

“Ah guess ah gotta start with the fact that’s it’ll be confusin’. It involves a lot of time travel, aliens, and a bunch of stuff that’s pretty crazy,” Applejack warned.

“Go on, we’ll be ready to ask questions,” Cheerilee assured.

“Ah guess it first started back when Rainbow Dash died of old age,” Applejack started.

“Wait what?” Rainbow stood up.

“Hush, hun. Time travel. She croaked way back in the 1702, which ah guess is in about eighty years, the Zebrican continent was in turmoil,” Applejack began relaying a story so long that it will take at least six hours to explain fully, “Spike became elected to parliament shortly after Mayor Mare retired…”

Author's Note

Going to have little internet for two weeks. Next chapter is about 1000 words, posted when I'm back. Next next time, Applejack's backstory!

Edited one word: 6/23/2014

A for Applejack

Play this song, listen while reading. (50 Ways to Say Goodbye, by Train)

Mah heart is paralyzed
Mah head grew three times in size

She came down like a meteor
Eaten by a manticore

Drowned in quicksand
Killed on command

Chomped by a bear trap
Super duper dragon bitch slap

Stabbed in the back
tied to train tracks

Slept with a shady pony
Caught an STD from the phony

Reenacted assassins’ creed
Oh gosh, watch her bleed

Chorus:
Apples! Apples!
Ah don’t know what ta do!
Aliens and time travel through spaaaaace!!!!

Stepped on a landmine
Sliced by a turbine

Explosion in a coal mine
Constricted by a magic vine

Listened to the Lullaby
Accidently threatened Fluttershy

Fell during a rock climb
Committed thought crime

Blew up miniluv
Attacked by two turtledoves

Exploding partridge in a pear tree
Help, I’m trapped in an episode of Glee

Sucked into a portal
Ah really am immortal!

Chorus:
Apples! Apples!
Ah don’t know what ta do!
Aliens and time travel through spaaaaace!!!!

Hit by a rocket sled
Crushed by a hospital bed

Flinched at high noon
Crushed by the falling moon

Drowned in a puddle
Giant hydra cuddle

Trapped in a mudslide
Demonic cart ride

Stung by killer bees
Tried to stop a crime spree

Hayroshima, Neighgasaki
Crushed by a tree

Crashed into a jet ski
Stranded out to sea

Faulty parachute
Attacked with a lute

Eaten by monster slime
Angered a petty mime

Burned at the stake
Very old chariot brakes

Bitten by a snake
Ate way too much cake

Once got a vampire bite
Went towards the light (They made me go back)

Hanged at sundown
Holy smokes! Monster clown!

Fell down a mine shaft
Not good at real life minecraft

Blown up by a creeper
Punched out the grim reaper

Tried to stop a serial killer
This line is purely filler

Locked in a washing machine
Crushed by a flat screen

Choked on an eclair
Ran out of air

Why is this so long?
This is the neverending song!

Chorus:
Apples! Apples!
Ah don’t know what ta do!
Aliens and time travel through spaaaaace!!!!

Died by the cutie pox
Rammed by a large ox

Beaten by a minotaur
Slammed headfirst into a door

Slashed by a griffon
Spontaneous combustion

Bitten by a zombie
Hit by a tsunami

Beheaded, sliced and diced, grinded
Flew an airplane while blinded

Melted by acid
Ate poisoned salad

Cooked into pony soup
Joined a really bad support group

Took part in a civil war
Fell down a trap door

Best friends with Trotsky
Shot by a bunch of nazis

Extreme dehydration
followed by heat exhaustion

Chorus:
Apples! Apples!
Ah don’t know what ta do!
Aliens and time travel through spaaaaace!!!!

Flamed by a lantern
Died by freezer burn

Doused in kerosene
Hit by a deadly laser beam

Sank into the ocean
Bullets in slow motion

Sneezed during a joust
Screwed over by Faust

Stabbed with a butter knife
Extremely jealous wife

Jumped off a cliff
Recited a cursed hieroglyph

Because of an apple pie
there are a thousand ways to die~

Switch to this song now with this link.
(Friendship Is Witchcraft’s It’ll be OK)

Got into a bar fight
Sometimes Ah lay awake at night

Ah gave ya mah heart
And then ya turned around (Ah perished)

Ah gave ya mah kidneys
And then ya turned around (Dead in three hours)

Ah gave ya mah lungs
And then ya turned around (Saw it coming)

This. Is. It.
No more organs for you.

Say ‘Buck You’
And Ah’ll see to it

Because this is how it goes
Everything’s gonna blow~ (away)

"A Thousand Ways to Die"
Performed by Sapphire Shores
Lyrics by Applejack and Zecora
Composition by Octavia Melody

When the Egg hatches
The Story will begin Anew

The One whose flames burn bright
Born of Fire
Raised by Pony Magic

The One who traveled the seven seas
Taught to Fly in Sky
And Protected by the Earth

Thou Shalt court the Mare of Darkness
She who is hidden in plain sight
Powered by Love
Defeater of the Alicorn of the Above

The One will face the Truth
And will have to play Sleuth
Reveal the Darkness hidden in the Sunlight

Greed shalt be Thy Bane
And Companionship Thy Boon
Whose Past is connected to Nightmare Moon

Whose Present Lies in Life
And Whose Future cannot be Read
Even by Those who See

Whose Memories will be thy Shield
Thoughts will be thy Armor
And Actions will be thy Sword

The One, protector of the Weak
Defeater of Tyrants
Stronger and more able than the Alicorns

Cursed to watch thy friends die
As the Ages pass

Lying in wait
Gathering allies
In Preparation
For the Final Confrontation

And in the End
Three and Six shall converge
And Give Rise to Four and Infinity

Life Lost will bring forth
A New Age

-Excerpt from Predictions and Prophecies, page 63. Originally predicted by Sybilline Sisterhood
Translated by Lyra Heartstrings, PhD, published 1616 AD.

Mare of Darkness, Mare of Darkness
She who is hidden in plain sight
Powered by Love
Defeater of the Alicorn of the Above
Who is she? And why does she sound so familiar?
Her irises of pure green
Forever watching
Forever hidden
Forever guiding
Reborn with every generation
Her strength has no limits
Her endurance no bounds
Her wit and cunning unmatched
Knowledge of the unknown
Rebel against the Tyrant
Allies both old and new
Shall help her in her quest
To change…

Exoskeleton of Disguise

Beware the Supermare!
Magic, flight, unimaginably strong!
She who is above right and wrong!

Infinitely old and infinitely wise
Crushes all of those whom she despise!

Pegasus, Earth Pony, Unicorn
All in one
Control over the heavens
Stars above and ground below

Ruler over all, far and wide
Everyone, even us heathens
Wisdom and strength collide
Together in her graceful stride!

Bringer of Healing
Bringer of Fame
Bringer of Death
Bringer of Destruction

Beware the Supermare!
Beware the Supermare!

Stars above shall fall from the heavens
Crushed by the iron dragon
That is the juggernaut
The being known as Alicorn!

We are the Defeated
We are the Forgotten
Lost through history
We are not even memories
We are those who lost the battle

We lost to the Supermare
Now our children take up our mantle
Continue the fight!
We have not lost until we give up!

We hide in the shadows
Lost in Darkness
And we will rise again
Bring down the tyrant

Maker have mercy on our souls!
Let us stop destiny
And the chosen roles!

We are not broken
We are not fixed
We are not Good
We are not Evil
But we will fight!

Beware the Supermare!
Beware the Supermare!

For Princess and Province
For Queen and Country
For Friends and Family
For Everypony!

She is an obstacle
A wall to climb over
To reach the spectacle
Our true goal
We must unite
Together in the fight!
Combine our talents
Become one!

We three tribes
Forced together
Time and Time again
We will fight
Eternity is at our grasp
Against the Supermare

Here comes the drumming
1, 2, 3, 4, 5. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

na~ na~ na~

1, 2, 3, 4, 5.

Author's Note

All those deaths are canon to this story.

Theories? Predictions? Hypotheses? Comment below! Next time on CAJH, dystopia!

The Brighter Future

Excerpts from the Trans Equestrian Chronicle
1690-1702 AD

1690 AD
…Several violent revolutions across the Zebrican continent has lead to the formation of Zebrica, the first unified country of Zebras on the continent since the fall of South Zebrica, descending into anarchy 200 years ago…

1691 AD
… A strain of the Yiiku virus, originating from Zebrica, has caused the inability to have offspring in 99% of the changeling population. The disease ravaged the entire species in a record six months and eight days…

1692 AD
… Spike the Dragon has become the first non-pony elected to the Equestrian Parliament in over 200 years. He won with 82% of the vote.

He has been advocating a strictly pacifist policy, urging Equestria not to take part in the violence abroad. Unfortunately, due to the gross sentient life rights violation perpetrated by the fledgling nation of Zebrica, Equestria may get involved sooner than we think…

1700 AD
… Recent studies have confirmed that the “Blue Flu,” a new disease affecting only the elderly, is 100% fatal. Ponies over the age of eighty are to remain cautious and observe themselves for any of the following symptoms…

… Initial symptoms include fever, headache, nausea, discoloration of mane, skin, and coat, usually a shade of blue, but occasionally green. Coughing and sneezing occurs intermittently. After two weeks, the patient begins growing crystalline growths resembling blue quartz…

… Tumors progress quickly, spreading across multiple organ systems, resulting in multiple organ failure. Death is guaranteed. Research into curing the disease halted as the Solar Party rescinds all funding, putting it towards curing “Diseases belonging to a more urgent population”.

Many ponies have protested such a decision, including Spike the Dragon, the representative of Boeshane province. Attempts to negotiate have reached a deadlock…

--0o0--
1702 AD

Faster.

I have to go faster.

One more.

Just one more.

Rainbow “Danger Scar Miriam” Dash soared across the sky, building up momentum as she approached the speed of sound. Her joints flared in pain as her bones began to crack. She blinked the tears from her eyes, ignoring the pain.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Dash, but Scootaloo passed away last night. The tumors spread to her heart and… we couldn’t remove them. We let her die in her sleep, she didn’t even feel it.”

Rainbow Dash flapped her wings again, her heart raced at increasingly dangerous speeds. Her aged and wrinkled face scrunched up, deflecting the mental warnings to stop. The old scar over her right eyelid pulsed as blood began to engorge the area.

The air pummeled her face, whipping her grayscale mane back. Her tail flapped with air stream, almost straight as the speed continued to rise.

Almost there.

“This is incredible, Ms. Dash! Almost all of your tumors are gone, their crystalline structures appeared to have shattered when you broke the sound barrier. They are returning, but theoretically, if you can perform a sonic rainboom every week, you could stave off the infection indefinitely.”

I can feel it.

Rainbow Dash’s wings tucked in as a white cone surrounded her, her lips pushed back as the wind entered her lungs, pushing her past the limit. The cone changed color, showing the colors of the entire visible light spectrum.

And then she blacked out.

“Thank Celestia, she’s breathing.”

“Are kidding me!? How could a 100 year old pegasus survive that impact? I know she’s tough, but this is ridiculous.”

“Lieutenant, carry her back to base, she probably won’t be conscious for days.”

“Broke both wings, fractured both front legs and a back hoof. She burned off half of her mane. She hit that mountain at ten times the speed of sound, unprotected, and she’s still alive. That hit would have killed most pegasi in their prime, but her? Still with us.”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes fluttered open, the bright light blinding her temporarily. As she focused, she noticed that she was in a full body cast, and lying in a hospital bed. She called over a nurse using grunts and a vague “Nurth!”

Soon, one arrived. A young mare in her late twenties came up to the bed, “It’s alright, you’re okay now. We’ll have the cast off by tomorrow, and you should be able to walk by the day after. Unfortunately, your wings were damaged beyond repair. They… can no longer fly. You can’t, not anymore.”

The nurse adjusted the bags connected to Rainbow Dash, increasing the medication. Rainbow sighed as the pain medication put her to sleep…

I have to go faster.

Faster.

Scootaloo.

--0o0--
Excerpts from the Trans Equestrian Chronicle
1702- 1749 AD

1702 AD
… Rainbow Dash, the last living bearer of the Elements of Harmony, died yesterday peacefully in her sleep, aged 104. There is to be a funeral next week, to be attended by Spike, the current representative of Boeshane province.

This represents the first time in over eighty years Equestria has gone without a mega rainbow death laser as a last line of defense. Princess Celestia has gone on the record that obtaining new bearers for the Elements is of the utmost priority…

1706 AD
… MOON COLONY ESTABLISHED!!!
Equestria is celebrating today, as the first extraplanetary settlement has touch down on the lunar soil. Princess Luna herself is on the front lines, setting a quota for the next year. Eager ponies may be able to vacation on the moon by the end of the decade for a measly payment of…

… Princess Celestia announced earlier this morning that the search for determining the so called “Harmony Markers” has begun. This new project aims to determine whether or not a pony is compatible with the Elements of Harmony. Dubbed “the Star Searcher Project” by its head researcher, it plans on utilizing the natural resonance from within a pony’s…

1720 AD
… The Moon is officially its own province of Equestria, with over one thousand current citizens and at least five thousand more potentials…

1722 AD
… The Crystal Empire, a city lost over two thousand years ago in a battle that cost thousands of lives, has returned, bringing back a lost culture of over fifteen thousand ponies. The city was trapped by an evil enchantment that locked the city a frozen state for millennia, was returned after its maniacal ruler, King Sombra, was defeated by Spike the dragon. The current representative of Boeshane, he is to be commemorated the following month for his bravery in defeating a tyrant and freeing an oppressed nation…

1742 AD
… Research in the Star Searcher Project reaches completion by the end of the year, as new development in magical resonance technology has allowed scientists to overcome the largest hurdle in engineering history…

1749 AD
… Just yesterday, Prime Minister Spike announced his engagement to Queen Meta, ruler of the nation of Chitindia. The couple are also happy to decree that they will be wed by Princess Luna herself. Princess Celestia has declined to make any comments...

--0o0--
1750 AD
(132 years after Nightmare Moon returns)

A spiraling figure of purple and green reptilian might soared across the night sky, its webbed wings flapping with grace. It circled around Canterlot mountain several times, occasionally spewing molten green flames across the heavens. And nobody in the entire city really noticed. After five minutes of flying, he flew head first into his home carved into the cliffside.
For the past fifty years, the purple dragon was a common sight around Canterlot. He was after all, a key figure in Equestrian politics.

Spike the aforementioned dragon rested in his cave after another stressful day in parliament. By that, he meant another day of endless bickering, arguing, and verbal sparring. He was amazed that he was able to somehow garner almost sixty percent of the voting members to support his bill to adopt a neutral stance on the Zebrican continent.

It was like a day taking care of foals, each one asking for something different. But that never deterred Spike, he was, after all, the senior member of the legislative branch of the most powerful nation on the planet.

He was born to the most powerful unicorn mage since Starswirl the Bearded and was raised by Princess Celestia herself. He saved a frozen empire lost in time by punching an evil foggy unicorn king. He got his favorite winter cloak stained, but felt it was totally worth it, after he got his own stained glass window and action figure franchise. It was hard, but he finally remembered that he was 142 years old, fifty feet long, considered diamonds a “soft food”, and is literally the most badass citizen in Equestria.

But today, he just felt tired. He felt beaten, bruised, and just wanted to take a decade-long nap. And yet, he persevered, waking up two extra hours early just so he could carefully enter the chamber of legislation without accidentally crushing any of the seats around him. He lead three committees, four interest groups, and a political party, and did all of his own non-constituent paperwork.

And it was worth it.

By the time Spike entered his home in the side of Canterlot mountain, it was already past two in the morning. He quickly munched on some old sapphires and got ready to sleep, for he was due back in for a vote in less than five hours. He took off his top hat and monocle, as is the required uniform of a parliamentary government, and placed them off to the side.

Curling up towards the east, he laid down and began to slumber. At least he would have, if he hadn’t heard a gust of wind and the sound of a charged horn near the entrance of his cavern.

Spike opened his eyes and calmly asked, with a deep baritone voice, “Who goes there? I am quite busy now, please send any petitions to my mailbox in Westmanester… Oh, it’s you.”

Spike looked forward at the glimmering white alicorn who had just touched down in the entrance to his home. In front of him was what he considered a cross between his mentor and grandmother, or at the very least, his oldest friend. Recent events have resulted in some tweaking of his opinion of her, but he hoped some of it could be smoothed over.

“Good evening, Princess. What can I do to be of service?” he began with a polite demeanor.

Princess Celestia did not smile back at him. Her face remained impassive and neutral, as if something was not quite right. In reply to his question, she merely said, “I have one simple request, Spike.”

“Oh? What is it, I’m sure I can help you quickly before I lose anymore sleep,” Spike began to stretch his body outwards as he neared his ten-times-larger-than-normal-dragon-sized typewriter with fireproof paper.

“No, it has nothing that needs dictation,” Celestia replied.

Spike reached for his desk of immense proportions, “Oh? Well, what is it? I’m sure it’s easy enough to do before I can get some-”

“Stop the vote tomorrow.”

Spike stopped moving and turned around to face the alicorn, “Ah, I see now. And what, pray tell, brought this up?”

“I think you know why,” Celestia answered.

“You know they’re going to die, right? Project Dark Horse was a failure. In fact, the only way for such a thing to work would be to rewrite what it means to be a pony. What it means to be a zebra, a donkey, or a griffon. What it means to be.

“You’re changing a fundamental aspect of nature. You already control one. What makes you think it will work? Maybe in a century, but not now. A war with Zebrica is pointless,” Spike crouched onto a metal chair as he rubbed his eyes.

“Let’s just say… I found some willing donors,” Celestia admitted.

“Ah, yes. I remember. The changeling DNA sequence, extracted from twenty thousand willing donors in exchange for love. Of course, the result of that was sterility in 99% of the population, reducing their population by half within a decade. In fact, it was discovered that the only ones immune to the Yiiku virus were the queens,” Spike glared at the princess.

“Yes, I was also surprised by the alarming buildup in members of the army, as well as the recent stockpile in ammunition. Princess, do you take me for blind? I can see plain as day what you are planning, and this vote you so kindly wish for me to stop is my only thing stopping you from declaring war.”

Princess Celestia looked at Spike with apathy, as if it wasn’t bothering her at all, “So that’s a no then? How about some… encouragement?” she levitated a scroll hidden in her mane out, unrolling it to reveal a photograph before placing in front of the reptilian prime minister.

“You didn’t,” Spike snarled as he glanced at the picture.

“I did,” Celestia’s face remained impassive, “Your fiancee is dead.”

“No. There’s more. You just let me rant. Nopony ever lets me rant. My voice is too deep and throaty for ranting. But you just did. Not only that, but you’re not even responding normally to a dragon with a huge amount of connections to the press that knows of your plan to invade a sovereign nation.”

He looked at the princess before seeing a slight smile appear on her muzzle, “Hmm, I will say your reasoning has improved over the years. It’s a shame you decided to go against me.”

“I could fight,” Spike answered, “I am powerful. The entirety of Boeshane is domain, and thus, my horde. I could greed grow to the size of Canterlot mountain and fight you.”

Celestia smirked as her horn began to glow, “And what? Kill everypony in the vicinity? This is a city of six million, most of which are still sleeping. And besides, what is the press going to say about the pacifist prime minister going Gojira? After that, any talk of neutrality and pacifism will balk.”

“So you’ve checkmated me. Well done, princess,” Spike looked at the white mare and smiled, “Go ahead, I won’t fight.”

“Your life ends here. They will find your body tomorrow, scan it, only to discover traces of zebra magic. That group of zebras will have ties to the Zebrican government. You know what follows. The bill fails, and war is declared instead.

“Your foolish pacifism ends as your party crumbles. War will destroy the world, and when the dust has settled after decades of war, well… ” Celestia released two bolts of magic directly into Spike’s body. The first caused hit his heart, the second froze his organs solid.

“It’s a shame, and here I thought you were the One, you know, the one in the prophecy. But this has ended in disappointment, I defeated you too easily. It is the end for the prophecy, another one failed. No descendants for you, Spike. It is definitely… a shame,” Celestia sighed.

Spike stumbled, clutching his chest with one claw, and gasped for air, “Y-you w-won’t get… away-yargh!” he roared, spewing emerald fire.

“I already did,” Celestia smirked as she dodged the flames via sidestepping, “It’s over, Spike.”

“N-not yet. I s-still have m-my my,” he wheezed, collapsing onto the floor.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. What was that?” Celestia sneered as she unfolded her wings, and began to flap.

“My egg! And you know w-what comes next!”

Celestia stopped flapping before glaring at Spike, “I see. Then we shall continue this battle in another life. Your child will be dead before she ever meets me.”

Spike closed his eyes, his wings drooped down over his sides. His heart slowed down, its beat becoming erratic, “Not if she’s anything like her mom… ”

Princess Celestia took flight, leaving the cave at blinding speeds before teleporting back to her chambers for the rest of the night.

--0o0--
Excerpts from the Trans Equestrian Chronicle
1750-1801 AD

1750 AD
… In a startling development, Spike the Dragon, the senior member of the Equestrian Parliament, was found dead earlier this morning. His body was discovered by his maid doing her morning visits. Information from a source in the investigative unit has determined that he was killed by Zebrican magic of some sort. This came in shortly before the vote to declare neutrality in all Zebrican affairs failed by exactly one vote…

… Princesses Celestia and Luna, Queen Meta of the Changelings, and ambassador Gabriel Garver of the Griffon Empire will be attending the funeral, to be held next week in Ponyville. Spike is intended to be buried two plots down from Twilight Sparkle, the deceased Archmagus Supreme and former bearer of the Element of Magic.

Many members of the legislature, as well as those in the other branches have begun voicing their hostility after the assassination…

1751 AD
… Last night, the third attack on Equestrian cultural memorials have succeeded in destroying the statue of harmony, most notable for depicting the six bearers of the Elements of Harmony, whose adventures are remembered dearly. The attack resulted in the deaths of 371, who were attending the yearly memorial, including Chromatic Punch, grandson of Rainbow Dash, of the aforementioned bearers.

Ponies across Equestria are calling for vengeance over the deaths of the countless stallions and mares over the last six months in sporadic attacks from the Stripes of Freedom, an extremist group against Equestrian intervention in Zebrican affairs…

… Recent evidence has uncovered that the Stripes of Freedom, the terrorist organization responsible for the recent attacks on Equestrian soil, were funded directly by the Zebrican government…

… Parliament has finished the final voting, and the results are in. Equestria has officially declared war on Zebrica…

1752 AD
… Princess Luna, a strong opponent of the war against Zebrica, has renounced her title as diarch of Equestria. She was quoted with saying “The Equestria I returned to after a thousand years is gone. It has been changed into a country of war hungry savages. Those who are with me may join my pilgrimage.”

The former princess has immigrated to the moon colonies, which have recently renamed themselves the New Lunar Republic, and have seceded from Equestria. Six other provinces have attempted to secede, the most vocal being Boeshane Province, former home of the deceased Spike the Dragon. Princess Celestia was unavailable for comment…

… Three of the six provinces attempting to secede have been recaptured by the Civil Guard and put on martial law. Boeshane has begun rioting in attempt to join the New Lunar Republic…

1753 AD
… The three provinces have been stabilized, all protesters have been captured and insurgents are being rounded up. The remaining three regions have been under siege for almost ten months as of today…

… Equestria has been renamed “The Solar Empire” to reflect its newfound victories in Zebrica, claiming four cities on the western border…

… We here at the Trans Equestrian Chronicle have decided to rebrand ourselves as the “Solar Equestrian Empire Daily” to reflect the change in times and conditions. Those of us here at SEED would like to thank you for 500 years of service, as well as 160 years as the number one newspaper in Equestria the Solar Empire…

1754 AD
… The National Guard, redubbed “The Solar Army”, has made staggering progress in the last year, having captured the entire western half of Zebrica. The notion of a ceasefire has been waved off as an absurdity…

Entering its second year, the three province siege has yet to end, with supplies being teleported into the regions by unknown means…

1755 AD
… In the largest offensive in Zebrican history, the Solar Army has captured the remaining nine major cities of Zebrica, including the capital. General Zephaniah of the 3rd Stripe Soldier Regiment, surrendered outside of Zaddis Zababa. The conditions of surrender include the Solar Empire’s right to assimilate the entire country of Zebrica, broken up into eight military provinces, as well as 10 trillion bits in war reparations…

1756 AD
… The siege of three provinces have finally stopped, with newly elected President Luna of the New Lunar Republic heading the peace talks. It is still unknown whether these talks will renew relations with the separatist provinces…

… Today the war of three provinces, renamed the Third Equestrian Civil War, ends with the three provinces officially named part of the NLR. They have been named Trottingham, Canterbury, and Seaddle. Empress Celestia is unavailable for comment…

1801 AD
… The creation of a new branch of the military today, dubbed Division 6, has been met with unanimous approval and thunderous applause. A new academy has been founded, intending to train the newest recruits for Supra-Planetary missions…

--0o0--
1803 AD

“Today I stand before you as a bearer of bad news and as a bringer of hope.”

It was near sunset in Jaeger Meadow. Nine dragons circled around an elderly red one, who was speaking with a clear voice. The dragons were of many different colors, sizes, and shapes. Nearly all of them were over 200 years old and at least fifty feet tall.

“Six months ago, the Solar Empire invaded Prance. Nine weeks ago, Prance fell. Neightaly, Hofstria, and Germaney are under siege. Warclaw has been captured. Foaland will be overtaken in less than a week. The other Draconic flocks have been captured or killed. We are now the last of the Stirrupean dragons,” the red dragon sighed before continuing.

“For the last 2000 years, we have lived in peace and community with the Griffons. We allied ourselves with the ponies in the region, and have scavenged some of the largest hoards in history. We were keepers of lore, protectors of the world history, and defenders of the weak.

“Now the Solar Empire has invaded our lands, enslaved our friends and family, killed so many of the peoples we knew. And we are all that remains of last ten generations.

“We may be the last of our kind, but today we shall bring forth a new one with this spell,” he held out a scroll with the symbol of the moon stamped on it, “given to me by the Mistress of the Moon herself, we may save the rest of our kind. Separated, we are killed with ease. But united, we can achieve anything.

“This spell was crafted by the greatest sorceress of her generation. She was the empress’s personal student, and with her final spell, we shall reclaim our land. Twilight Sparkle, adoptive brother of Spike the Brave and Glorious, most faithful student of Empress Celestia, Archmagus Supreme, had saved dragonkind 200 years before it needed saving.

“This spell will combine our mights and abilities. We shall once again become the apex predator. Powerful and unmatched, we will become unstoppable. But to do so would require sacrificing our lives and identities, destroying our distinctiveness forever. Any of you who do not wish to suffer such fate may step out now.”

After a whole minute, all ten dragons stood their ground. They all looked up to the centered dragon, whose face bent into a lizardy smile.

“Very well then, let us begin. I, Garble the Wise, accept your sacrifice!” he raised his claws into the air and began channeling energy from his surroundings, “I summon the magic of the skies and declare: Hexa Fusion Ultimatus!”

And then there was light.

--0o0--
Excerpts from the Solar Equestrian Empire Daily
1803- 1839 AD

1803 AD
… Baltimare was completely destroyed this morning after an enormous ten headed dragon landed. It rampaged throughout the city, causing widespread destruction. Ten brigades were sent in, only two of which survived after defeating the monster. The evacuation of the city was halted after several bridges collapsed…

… Eighty thousand casualties directly resulting from the invasion of Baltimare. The monster that caused the attack has been dubbed a “Hydragon” by survivors…

1805 AD
… Since the first attack in 1803, no less than twelve attacks by Hydragons have occurred. With their numbers swelling, the Empress has begun the retooling of the Supra-Planetary academy specifically designed to combat the Hydragon menace…

… Parliament declared war on the Griffon United Empire, following an investigation proving that the GUE was directly funding the last two Hydragon attacks…

1806 AD
MARTIAL LAW HAS BEEN DECLARED
ALL CITIZENS MUST CARRY IDENTIFICATION AT ALL TIMES
ALL BAGS AND DEVICES ARE TO BE CHECKED AT REGULAR INTERVALS
CURFEW IS IN EFFECT FROM DUSK TO DAWN
ALL SUPPORTERS OF THE ENEMY WILL EXECUTED

1808 AD
… Today is the opening ceremony for the new school for gifted wartime individuals, dubbed Six-Point Academy. Testing for the academy is going to be made mandatory for all foals aged 8 to 13…

1826 AD
… Rationing of class 8 goods is in effect immediately. 60% fresh produce is to be funneled directly towards military operations. Furthermore, all carriages are to be dismantled and processed at the nearest available military base…

1837 AD
… Griffon United Empire has surrendered after Captain Firewall and his army surrounded the capital. The events leading up to the surrender are currently classified…

1839 AD
… Hydragon attacks have reached an all-time low, following an increase in supra-planetary missions, removing the majority from the exosphere…

--0o0--
1840 AD
(222 years after Nightmare Moon returns)

As the clock tower rang 6 o’clock, Black Smith, Ponyville’s best blacksmith, trotted back to his home. He held a rag over his muzzle attempting to block out the dust, but he merely succeeded in coughing. He quickened his pace as he turned a corner, passing by an electronics store.

The neighborhood was old, built during the early 17th century out of concrete, unlike the modern day glass-infused steel. His eyes darted to his left as he read the sign: “APPLE COMPUTING EQUIPMENT”. Looking at the empty street in front of him, he decided to gallop the rest of the way home, hoping to get there before it was dark.

His ink black mane contrasted with his light tan body, his stature loomed over most other ponies. Gargantuan in size, he had a body tempered by years of farm labor, and scars that ran across his hooves as a result of working with molten iron. His cutie mark was of a hammer striking an anvil, superimposed over a red apple. Black Smith appeared to be your normal earth pony farmer.

Because he was.

He couldn’t be part of any anti-sun rebellion, he had a family. He had a life. He decided that if he wanted to help the insurgence, he would have to do it from the sidelines. He was the support, the help. The go-to-guy, the dependable one. The guy you ask for loans because he would never charge you interest.

He wasn’t action oriented like his sister-in-law, or a genius inventor like his brother. Black Smith was an ordinary stallion. Occasionally he helped, but not with the important roles. He bucked trees for a living and crafted tools with iron and steel for extra bits on the side. He was average. Eeyup.

Golden Apple Brightness, his beloved wife, was different. She was a lively mare, full of ideas and plans, never compromising her morals and was occasionally known to accidently set things on fire. Totally not her fault. No way. That mail truck had it coming.

Brutally honest, Golden Apple considered life to be one story after another, waiting to be written. Life was like that, according to her. One day after another, each one with a different story told. Sometimes they were good stories, other times the stories had sad endings. You can’t avoid them all, but if you tried, you could get the good endings to outnumber the bad ones.

Black Smith was almost home. He was just returning from town hall, carrying several papers inside his saddlebags.

He ran with the speed of a surprisingly trained athlete, worn down by years of applebucking and metalworking. He smiled wide, for he had a newborn daughter.

--0o0--

Black Smith opened the door to his family’s farm estate, Sweet Apple Acres, revealing to him the wondrous world of childbirth. He saw his wife laying on her back, surrounded by a dark blue unicorn midwife named Vice Hame and an elderly earth pony mare in a rocking chair.

Golden Apple was a an earth pony mare in her late twenties, with a golden blond mane and a pale red coat. Her cutie mark was of a yellow flash, similar to a four point star. In her hooves was her daughter, a small orange filly with a golden colored mane.

Black smiled when he saw his wife clutching their newborn daughter. He cleared his throat and said, “I got the papers back. Her name’s been registered at town hall.”

The old mare on the rocking chair coughed loudly before asking, “Did the Whitecoats bother ya?”

“Eenope, just the normal checkpoints today,” Black pulled out a small folder from his saddlebags, “Here it is. May I present you… Applejack Darkness!”

He opened up the folder to reveal a birth certificate, complete with the parents’ names, the name of the midwife, and the old mare who was sitting through the entire birthing process.

This certificate certifies that:
Applejack Harkness

Was born on this day of Her Royal Highness, the Thirty-First of March, year One Thousand Eight Hundred and Forty, at Seven Fifty-three in the morning.

Birthplace: Ponyville, Boeshane Province, Solar Empire

Mother: Golden Apple Brightness Father: Arkansas Black Smith
Maiden name: Golden Brightness Age: 30
Age: 29

Grandmother (Father’s side): Apple Bloom XII Sibling (Male): Ginger Gold
Age: 70 Age: 5

Midwife: Vice Hame
Physician Attending: Vice Hame
ID No. 5000000053

Golden Apple stared at the paper, switching between a happy grin and a befuddled frown. She looked back at her husband who was grinning obliviously. She took a deep breath, handed over Applejack to Vice Hame, and asked in an eerily calm voice, “Why is our daughter’s name misspelled?”

“Wha?” Black Smith frowned, looking at the name on the birth certificate. He paled when he saw his daughter’s last name, “W-wait a minute! Honey, please-”

“You misspelled your own daughter's name!?” Golden Apple screamed into her husband’s ear, causing him to stumble to the ground.

Black Smith moved side to side, dodging his somewhat hysterical wife’s attempt to buck him in the face, “Whoa! Calm down-”

“CALM DOWN?! We only get one chance to name our daughter, and you misspelled it! How in the name of Luna do you spell darkness wrong? I’m surprised you didn’t spell her first name with two k’s!” Golden Apple fumed, her face turning even redder than her current colors.

“If you could just let me explain! I can-”

“Explain? Explain!? How could you possibly explain the stupidest mistake you’ve made since elementary school! It’s like sixth grade all over again!” obviously, Golden Apple’s body does not react well to post-birth hormones.

“QUIET!”

Everyone in the room looked to the side at the old mare. She had a gray mane, peppered with the occasional red hair, and was a light yellow. Her cutie mark was of an apple superimposed over a wheel. Her gaze was stern, her wrinkles barely moved across her ancient form. As she rocked in her chair, she held up her cane and proceeded to stand up. After sixty seconds of tense silence, the old mare named Apple Bloom finally opened her mouth full of dentures.

“Ah cannot believe that this family kin go ta tartarus over a simple change in somepony’s name,” Apple Bloom stared at Golden Apple dead center in the eyes, “Ah did it. Ah changed her name.”

“You what?!” the married couple looked at Apple Bloom in surprise. Vice Hame tried her best to keep Applejack asleep while everyone was screaming at the top of their lungs.

“What? Ya wanted yer daughter ta be dark? That’s just askin’ fer trouble. Ah know fer a fact that yer daughter does not deserve ta become involved in any of that business,” Apple Bloom reached for a gray metal flask on the table next to her.

“Ma, please don’t tell me this has to do with those stupid Celestia forsaken prophecies of yours,” Black Smith grimaced at the thought.

“Don’t ya dare call those prophecies shams! Ah knew three seers back in mah day, and they were never wrong! They always steered us Boeshanes right. And ah am tellin’ ya, ah am never lettin’ another pony ah love ta be forced into a destiny,” Apple Bloom’s face darkened, “Not again. Never again.”

Black Smith and Golden Apple grumbled, both muttering under their breaths, at least until Vice Hame spoke up, “We can’t really change her name anyways. It’s set forever, nopony’s been able to change their name since ‘06.”

Apple Bloom cocked her head slightly, “Eighteen-oh-six or the one before?”

Vice Hame gave the old mare a look, “This century, you couldn’t have been alive back then.”

Apple Bloom shifted her eyes as she drank from the flask, “Rrrright. Forgot about that.”

“Well then, I guess I should head off. It’s getting late, almost sunset,” Vice Hame gave back Applejack to Golden Apple. The gray midwife picked up her bag and ID, and proceeded to to the doorway.

The door opened as a little colt came in, “Mommy, daddy! Is mah little sister done leavin’ mommy’s tummy yet?”

He sprinted up to Golden Apple and looked at his newborn sister’s body, “Wow, she’s so small! Can ah hold her?”

Golden Apple chuckled, “Not yet, I still want to for a little bit longer. How about after the sun sets, okay?”

“Okay mommy!” Ginger Gold, a little earth pony colt with a brown mane and yellow coat smiled as he bounced away to the kitchen.

Vice Hame smiled, “Cute kid. Bye, everypony.”

As the midwife left, Applejack yawned before continuing to sleep. The three adults in the room sighed as the newborn foal radiated cuteness. Black Smith spoke first, “Ma? Whatever happened to keeping a low profile?”

“Ah can never remember which century it is, alright? Ah’ve lived in three, and it gets mighty confusin’ with mah old geezer brain,” Apple Bloom stepped closer to Applejack, “Besides, now that her name’s doesn’t mean nothin’, she can have whatever destiny she wants.”

“As long as it relates to apples,” Black Smith added.

Apple Bloom looked at her son, “Yer darn tootin’. ‘Course, there are a lot of things ya can do with apples. Look at yer brother, computers have everythin’ ta do with apples, ever since he named his company after them.”

“So basically, anything remotely related to apples can be any family member’s talent?” Golden Apple raised an eyebrow at that.

“Sure, we’ve had three physicists, two electricians, eight magicians, two supermodels, four musicians, two knights, an archer, a mortician, and a painter in this family. All their cutie marks were apple related,” Apple Bloom sighed as she took another swig from her flask.

“I’ve never met anypony like that at the reunions,” Golden Apple frowned.

“It’s been a while, haven’t been any out-of-farm cutie marks in over four decades other than mah sons,” Apple Bloom looked away as she hobbled back to her rocking chair.

Black Smith smiled at his wife, “Well, here’s hoping our daughter does something special.”

Golden Apple smiled back, rocking Applejack back and forth as the newborn slept.

--0o0--

Tuesday June 6

Dear diary

Hello! My name is Applejack Harkness and you are my brand new diary! I am 7 and ½ years old and I live here in Ponyville, which is in Boeshane Province. I live with my mom and dad and grandma two brothers, Ginger Gold and Gravenstein (I call him Gray). We farm apples for a living, all kinds like the Golden Delicious, Northern Spy, Red Delicious, Granny Smith, and Ambrosia. I can’t list them all because there are so many.

Today I went to school and learned about the history of the Solar Empire. Every time they teach us about it, grandma always takes everything and tells me whats right and whats wrong. A lot of the stuff they teach in school is wrong.

After school I played tag with my friends. We then tried looking for our cutie marks but it didn’t work today. After that I went home where I ate dinner and then played with Windy, our pet dog. She always barks whenever I play fetch. She sometimes chases autos outside but she never catches them. She’s really funny.

Now I’m writing in my diary before going to bed. I want to play outside at night but we can’t because of the curfew. I think it’s weird that we can’t go out at night but my friends don’t seem to mind so I guess it’s not important.

I’m tired now so I’m going to bed, good night diary

Signed, Applejack

Author's Note

Heavily inspired by the large number of dystopian novels I have read. Sorry for the ridiculously long wait, school started early for me. Comments? Theories?

Applejack's childhood: Part 1 of 2

Story Time, Part 1

1848 AD
(230 years after Nightmare Moon returns)

“Applejack, time ta get some shuteye,” the elderly mare said softly to the young filly tucked into her bed, her form covered by the red and white blankets. Her hooves stuck out, waving back and forth. It was late, the moon was high in the night sky, its glittering cities visible as silver dots.

“Ah don’t wanna. Ah’m not tired yet,” Applejack said, her body fidgeting.

“Ah know, sugarcube, ah know. But you've got a big test tomorrow, and it’s important,” Apple Bloom patted the filly’s mane, warmly smiling at her granddaughter’s grumbling. Except she wasn't her granddaughter.

“But ah don’t wanna take an ah-cue test. It’s stupid,” the orange filly pouted, looking even more adorable. Applejack twisted to the side, moving the blankets around, “Every time we take these tests, everybody acts differently. Half mah friends won’t even talk ta me since ah scored average on the happiness test.”

Apple Bloom pulled a wooden stool and sat down, “How ‘bout ah tell ya a bedtime story?”

Applejack’s ears perked up at that, turning around to her ‘grandmother’. She looked up, “Really? You always tell the best stories. Can it be one from the old days?”

“Yes, but not my old days. Ah'll tell you the story of Chancellor Puddinghead,” Apple Bloom started, “Way way back, before Equestria was founded, there were the three tribes. The unicorns raised the sun and moon. The pegasi controlled the weather, and us earth ponies farmed the land.”

A little orange hoof rose up, “But ah already learned this in school,” Applejack said.

“Yes, but they don’t teach ya the whole story. Tell me, what did the unicorns fight with?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Their magic,” Applejack answered immediately.

“And the pegasi?” the old mare inquired.

“They flew around and caused storms an’ used lightning,” Applejack replied.

“Yes, now tell me what the earth ponies fought with?”

“With their earth pony strength!” Applejack responded proudly.

“Yes, that’s a lot of it, but there was more. They fought ‘em usin’ our better tools,” Apple Bloom said.

“Better tools?” Applejack tilted her head with slight confusion.

“There’s more to it than that, but ah think ah’ll start at the beginning,” Apple Bloom paused for a moment to pull out her metal flask before she took a swig of its liquid contents, “Two thousand years ago, back before there was the Solar Empire, before Equestria, there were the three tribes.

“The first tribe were the unicorns, who controlled the sun and moon before Celestia. They were the ones with most of the artisans and scholars of the olden age, before magic and science were separate. The second tribe were the pegasi, who ruled the skies and controlled the weather. They were the ones with the biggest military, the most soldiers.

“The last tribe, ours, were farmers. They spent their whole lives livin’ on the earth, growin’ crops and such. A lot of them worked under the pegasi and unicorns. But the thing was, some time in the years before Equestria was founded, a stallion rose from humble roots and founded a new nation.

“His name was Puddinghead, Chancellor Puddinghead. In his youth, he tinkered with his father’s old farm tools, and found a natural talent with them. His father smelted tools for a living, and his father before him, and so on. But Puddinghead was the first to think ‘Hey, this stuff we’ve got helps out really well. Why can’t we do more with this stuff?’

“And that’s what he did. By the time he was thirteen, he had built his first weed-whacker. When he was fifteen, he found a way to water an entire field in less than an hour. Of course he only wanted to build farm machines and other convenient things.

“But one day when he was barely sixteen, a group of pegasi came into his village, dressed up in armor and carryin’ thunderclouds were tryin’ ta start up a ruckus. Back then, lightning was much worse than any magic spell, cause many ponies got hurt badly if they got shocked, and fires started so easily. Anyways, these rowdy pegasi came in and started messin’ with the village, startin’ fires and pickin’ fights.

“Even though his old stallion told him never to go near pegasi, Puddinghead decided to help. The young lad decided to bring out his sprinkler and douse out the flames. When the hooligans found out, they cornered Puddinghead and threatened him with lightning.

“But Puddinghead was a crafty fella. He turned his sprinkler up on the pegasi as they began kicking the clouds, showering them with water. Every pony in the world knows what happens when you play with lightning while wet.”

Applejack whispered, “They got shocked?”

“Eeyup, the hooligans dun electrocuted themselves. When the village militia finally got to them, they up and fled. Puddinghead was thanked and all, but it got him thinking: just how did lightning exactly work, and was there a way to fight it? After many weeks of working, and at least three thunderstorms, he crafted the very first lightning rod.

“He installed them across his village and found a way for the militia to carry ‘em around. For over three years, pegasi weren't much of a threat. Back then, pegasi used lightning in almost every fight, so ta suddenly not be able ta use it was surprising. Making things worse was the belief that the lightning rod was a myth, made up by shady unicorns so the pegasi would stop usin’ their best weapon.

“Fer the first time, earth ponies had themselves a runnin’ chance. Puddinghead and his whole village saw this as an opportunity ta change things. They started recruiting other towns and villages, took over land that was owned by pegasi and unicorns with earth pony serfs, and by the time Puddinghead was thirty years old, a new country was born.

“In that time, he came up with new and exciting ideas. Stronger alloys, swords and shields with a little magic resistance, even a better chariot design, he made it all. Puddinghead soon went into tactics and later, politics. Some historians say he could have invented the steam engine if he wasn’t busy corralin’ the new government,” Apple Bloom mangled the last word, pronouncing the ‘v’ like an ‘m’. She wheezed a little before taking another drink from her flask.

“Grandma, why do you always drink from that bottle?” Applejack asked, “Ah don’t think ah’ve ever seen you without it. What‘s in it?”

Apple Bloom coughed into her shoulder before answering, “It’s mah medicine. Ah gotta take it if ah wanna stay healthy.”

“Oh,” Applejack turned her head up towards the ceiling, “Will ah get some of that too if ah get sick?”

“Ah hope not,” Apple Bloom shifted on her stool, “It’s only supposed ta be taken fer really bad sickness. If ya need this, yer really in trouble.”

“But you take it all the time. Does that mean you’re really sick?” Applejack turned towards Apple Bloom, subconsciously showing puppy-dog eyes filled with apple tears.

Apple Bloom took her hoof and patted Applejack’s mane, “No sugarcube, ah just take it cause ah’m old, and this stuff helps me stay healthy. Ah’m not sick, not right now.”

“So what’s in it? Is it pan-ah-chee-ah?” Applejack wondered.

“Somethin’ like that. It’s kind of a long story, and it’s startin’ to get late, and you need ta rest fer yer test tomorrow,” Apple Bloom stood up and pulled the bedsheets up Applejack’s body, recovering her with cotton warmth after the filly shrugged the blanket off during storytime.

“But ah’m not,” Applejack yawned, “Tired yet.”

“It’s okay, sugarcube. ah’ll tell ya about it tomorrow night, alright? It’ll be my treat. Ah’ll even tell another story if you work hard on your test,” Apple Bloom kissed her granddaughter on the forehead.

“Okay grandma,” Applejack yawned again before shutting her eyes, “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Applejack,” Apple Bloom replied before turning off the lights and leaving through the door, “And good luck.”

--0o0--

Another night, another bedtime story. Tomorrow was another day, filled with endless possibilities. No one was ever sure what could happen next. Enjoy today, strive for a better tomorrow. Or at least that’s what Applejack’s mom always said. Applejack didn’t really understand what she meant.

Her father on the other hand, made much more sense. Live day by day, one step at a time. Make time for tomorrow, but work hard now. Worry about today first before stepping into the future. Present first, then think about the past. When you’ve got enough information, come up with a plan for the future. When you plan for the future, plan out as much as possible. Better safe than sorry.

Golden Apple, before settling down with her husband, lived on the edge. She didn’t plan things, she went with the flow, and when the flow went against her, she plowed through with the strength of a steamboat. Applejack never understood that metaphor. After all, steamboats haven't been around for centuries.

That being said, Apple Bloom was an enigma. Everyone in Ponyville knew her birthday, and everyone was sure that she was the “Village Elder”, so to speak. But not much was actually known about her, other than her kind and nurturing nature, her knowledge of zap apples, her baking skills, and her ability in cart repair. The vague mystery was forgotten often, but it was still fun to come up with wild theories about the Apple Matriarch’s origins.

Some are basic: she’s an old mare in her late seventies who may or may not have run the mob in her youth. Some are unlikely: she’s an ex-Whitecoat doing some spying for the Empress in exchange for a better pension. Some are bizarre: she’s an alien with a blue cart that has more storage than it appears to have. Some make sane ponies go “What the heck is wrong with you?”: she’s a griffon-alicorn hybrid who borrowed an experimental starship from the 24th century, and is here to steal the souls of the wicked and/or green-colored.

Of course being a eight-year-old filly, Applejack didn’t care about the vague mystery surrounding her grandmother. She just loves her.

It was night again, and Applejack was grumbling about how she still had to go to be early, despite it being a Friday.

“Grandma, can ya tell me that story you said you were gonna tell me?” Applejack asked.

“Sure sugarcube, just let me adjust mahself on this here stool,” Apple Bloom moved the stool forward slightly. Happy with its position, she looked at her granddaughter.

“Before ah tell ya about my medicine, ah gotta ask: how old do ya think ah am?”

Applejack scrunched her lips and narrowed her eyes in confusion, “Yer mah granny. So… maybe seventy? Ah don’t know. Ah never thought about it before.”

Apple Bloom sighed, “Sugarcube, as of next month ah’ll be two hundred and forty years old.”

“Yer what? That can’t be right, mom and dad are only like thirty-something.”

“Well, ah have been fibbin’ a bit. Ah am yer grandma, ah’m just a bit down the line. Just add in about ten greats. Ah’m more like an ancestor really.”

“Wait a minute, if yer two hundred years old, how come yer not an alicorn?”

Apple Bloom frowned, “Ta be fair, us Apples tend ta live pretty long. Before me, we had Granny Smith, and she lived to be at least 150 years old. Before her, we had Appleseed, who was almost 180 when he croaked.”

“So… Wait a sec? What about Blue Flu? Anypony over eighty catches it, but yer here now!” Applejack eyes widened in horror, contemplating the loss of her grandmother.

“That’s what mah medicine’s for. It keeps the Blue Flu outta my body. If ah take a lot, ah might be a bit healthier too. It works pretty well, but there ain’t a lot of it,” Apple Bloom twiddled the flask in her hooves.

“But what’s it made of?” Applejack asked.

“Golden apple cider, made from the first golden apple grown in almost 300 years. ‘Course, this is really diluted, made in a way just healthy enough ta keep me alive, but not too much so as to be noticeable and ponies start asking questions,” Apple Bloom’s frown deepened, “That doesn’t mean ah’m gonna live forever. Ah got maybe twenty years before mah heart or lungs give out. Golden Apples can make ya live a long time, but they've got limits.”

“So… you are a really old pony who’s older than almost everypony else? But why?” Applejack’s confusion returned.

“Not really mah choice. Well, it is mah choice, but the reason ah haven’t stopped drinkin’ and lay down is because ah made a promise,” Apple Bloom’s somber expression continued.

“What promise?”

Apple Bloom took another drink of her cider before answering, “Ah promised that when the time came, when it’s needed, mah memories of the days gone by will be here. Ah am the last mortal pony to remember. Ah remember, and until ah can tell my story, ah’ll be here.”

The elderly mare looked at her granddaughter directly, “Ah remember so much and without me, there’s nopony left. Mistakes were made and it shouldn’t be swept under the rug. The legends of the past must be remembered. Our history mustn't be forgotten. Ah promised so many… They won’t be forgotten. They will not, and they deserve something.”

Apple Bloom looked out the window and the green and white moon above, “The truth must not be forgotten. No matter how you try to change it, rewritin’ the history books, changin’ memories, it ain’t right. It happened. And it will happen again.

“Applejack, ta change the present is ta change the future. But when ya start messin’ around with what really happened, then there’s somethin’ wrong. If something happened, and ya say something else happened, that’s lyin’. If ya ignore the truth, ignore one side, what’s ta stop ya from changin’ everything?

“The truth’s the truth. There is only one, and that’s the whole truth. In any fight, ya got one side and ya got the other, but there’s always the neutral side. For the truth, ya gotta know and understand all of the sides.

“For everything in the whole world, the whole of everything, there are two halves to it. Left and right, black and white, sun and moon. But you have to know that the whole isn’t just the opposites. For everything in the universe, there is some middle ground. When ya draw a circle and shade one side so it’s black, you get two halves. A black side and a white side. But what about the edge? What about the line in between? Do they belong to either side? No, they don’t. They are somethin’ different.”

The mare took a swig from her flask again, turning back to Applejack. Apple Bloom pulled something out of her mane. She held it out to her granddaughter, revealing it to be a gold coin, “How many sides does a bit have?”

“Uh, two? Flag and sun, right?” Applejack squirmed at the question. The bit in question was worn, it was dated 1619, and the sun depicted on one side, and the crescent moon on the other, “Ah don’t think it has three, because it’s a fifty-fifty chance when you flip it.”

“Technically, yer right. But here’s the question: What about the rim? Which side is it on? You never land a bit on the rim, but it’s still there. There is a middle side to everything. It’s not only black and white. There’s red, yellow, pink, gray, and all the other colors out there. There’s also no color, and rainbows, and ultraviolet.

“Mah point is, you need ta know every side. A lie forms when ya ignore one side in favor of another, or when you throw away all the sides, get rid of all the colors and choose pear. Do you understand?”

Silence reigned while the gears turned in Applejack’s head, trying to sort things out. After a full minute, she spoke, “Ah think that, ah got some of it. Like when you talk about history. But some of the things don’t really make any kind of sense at all.”

“It’s okay. One day you’ll understand. Don’t rush it. It’ll come when it’s time. What matters is that you remember,” Apple Bloom got off her stool and tucked Applejack into bed, placing the blankets so the filly is nice and warm. She then kissed Applejack on the forehead.

After she did so, Apple Bloom turned off the lights, and began to leave the room, “Goodnight and sweet dreams, Applejack.”

“Goodnight grandma,” Applejack replied before closing her eyes.

--0o0--

The past week was uneventful. Nothing major happened, although there were rumors of a Lunar military offensive in the southern hemisphere, as well as a Division 6 counterattack. Division 6, colloquially known as “Space Fleet”, has been fighting the hydragon menace for decades. While the fleet battles were often advertised as a valiant and glorious effort, everyone knew that being drafted into Space Fleet was pretty much a death sentence.

Once in, you go through basic training at the academy for four years before being enlisted onto a ship. Five years of service, followed by three more years if you get renewed (you almost always were), and then if you lived, you were dropped off with a nifty government pension. The average lifespan of a ship in combat was four years.

Applejack was had just finished getting ready for bed, having brushed her teeth and climbed under her blankets. Apple Bloom soon entered the room and sat down on her stool.

“Ya ready fer another story?” Apple Bloom asked.

Applejack nodded, “Yeah, ah'm tired of tryin’ ta conn-tam-plate on mah life. Mom kept sayin’ how ah was too young ta understand.”

“You were, but that wasn’t the point. One day, you’ll understand, but not now. Maybe in a few years. But for tonight, ah’m gonna tell you about the tale of Nightmare Moon,” Apple Bloom began.

“Ya mean how she was banished to the moon and came back to bring eternal night?”

“Good, that’s right. And you remember the story of how she returned?”

“She came back durin’ the Summer Sun Celebration, and came here to Ponyville! And then Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and mah ancestor Applejack saved the day!” Applejack listed off the names, smiling brightly as she said the last one.

“Good, good. Now ya remember how you were named after yer ancestor, and how ya look a lot like her. ‘Course, ah don’t tell many folks, but… Ah was there that night.”

Applejack’s eyes widened, “You were!?”

Apple Bloom smiled slightly, “Ah was about yer age, actually. Ah was eight years old when Nightmare Moon tried ta bring eternal night. It started out like your average day. Ah woke up early ta help prepare the banquet, and that was the day ah met Twilight Sparkle.”

Applejack’s eyes widened, “Is it true, the stories about her?”

Apple Bloom smiled and took a drink from her flask, “Yeah they were, though she was such an awkward pony back then. She may have been insanely powerful, but you could disarm her by holdin' up a book. She was kinda funny too. Anyways, ah convinced her to stay with us for brunch, and then she and Spike stuffed themselves full, it almost made me laugh.”

Applejack cocked her head, “Who’s Spike?”

Apple Bloom’s smile faded slightly, “He was an old friend. In fact, he was Twilight’s first friend. Probably the best dragon ah ever knew.”

The filly’s eyes widened, “You knew a dragon!?”

“Calm down, sugarcube. Spike was one of the best friends ah ever had. He was sweet, dedicated, and smart enough ta be prime minister. A long time ago, he was THE Dragon. There weren’t any others in Equestria, and everypony knew him,” Apple Bloom sighed, “Ah still can’t believe ah outlived him.”

“Can ya continue the story?” Applejack pleaded.

The old mare smiled again, “Sure. The two of them, Spike and Twi, they stuffed themselves with our pastries and pies. After they left, things returned to normal. We baked, set up tables, all that was done. The day went by normally. The only other different thing was that ah went ta bed and woke up an hour before the sun rose so we could attend the celebration.”

“You could leave the house before the sun rose?” Applejack asked in disbelief.

“Things have changed, Applejack. Equestria’s changed. Everythin' changes, whether for the good or bad. Unfortunately, we got bad this time. Anyways, mah sister and ah went to city hall to watch the sunrise. It was dark, and that was the first year ah was old enough ta stay awake long enough ta see it happen.

“Now when the mayor introduced Celestia, ah was so excited. Ah was jittering around quite a bit, but when they opened the curtain… ”

“She wasn’t there,” Applejack finished.

Apple Bloom nodded and continued, “At first everypony was confused. Then somepony shouted ‘She’s gone!’ Everypony started murmuring things ah can’t really remember. But then, she appeared.”

“Nightmare Moon,” Applejack stated.

“Yeah. When she declared nighttime eternal, it the first time ah ever truly felt fear. Sure, ah was sometimes afraid of the dark. Maybe spooky stories about timberwolves or vampires, but right there and then, something very real was there. She was an alicorn.

“Ya remember the old song about the Supermare, right? The greatest fear imaginable: What would happen if our princess turned against us? What then? An alicorn is immensely powerful, entire armies could be wiped out. One alicorn can move the sun with a flick of their horn. If were ever to fight against one, even with the best mages, soldiers, and weapons, we would surely fail.

“It was horrible, watching Nightmare Moon take down those guards with her lightning. They survived, but were defeated so easily. Nopony could stop her. Ya couldn’t stop an alicorn.

“At least, until we had the Elements of Harmony.

“Six pieces of jewelry, each one representin’ the virtues that founded our country. Six artifacts of immense power, able to turn the embodiment of chaos to stone and banish an almost goddess off the planet!

“The rest of the night, until the sun rose, ah spent the whole time hidin’ with mah brother while mah sister went out ta stop the alicorn herself. At the time, mah brother was preparin’ fer the worst. He gathered a lot of our supplies and planned ta leave town the next day if we didn’t hear from AJ.”

Apple Bloom smirked, “Boy was he surprised. Less than six hours later, Twilight and the others came back with two princesses in tow, the sun raised, and the evil defeated. National heroes, saviors of Equestria and the world! It was incredible, and the celebration lasted all day. Yer namesake became a legend.”

“Ya mean Applejack, right?” the filly asked.

The mare’s smile widened, “The pony you were named after did many great things. Expanded our farm, saved Equestria a few times, and hung out with a world class designer, Wonderbolt, and an archmage. One day, she just up and vanished. No hint or warning. She left a note and that was it.

“We named ya after her when we you were born because, honestly, yer her spittin’ image. Same eyes, same mane, same coat, even the same freckles. Of course, those freckles could just be yer mom’s, and the coat could have come from yer pa. But we decided to go with it, and slap on a little extra ta differentiate you.

“Of course, bein’ the strange ponies they were, yer parents decided ta name ya ‘Darkness’. Ah changed it at the last minute so ya wouldn’t get saddled with an entire fate filled with evil and dark stuff. Harkness doesn't mean anythin’, so ya get ta choose yer destiny,” Apple Bloom smiled at her granddaughter, “And all of us in the family are sure you’ll live up to mah sister’s name.”

Applejack squirmed around in bed for a while before looking at her grandmother, “Ah’m named after my great-grandaunt because ah look like her. And mah last name can be whatever ah want. And ya think ah can live up ta her feats. If she was so amazin', what was yer sister like? Ya know, outside the whole savin' the world and representin' harmony.”

Apple Bloom looked off into the corner, remembering the days gone by, “She was stubborn, loyal, independent, and a hard worker. She didn’t always tell the truth, but she was the most honest mare ah ever knew.”

“But what’s the difference between tellin’ the truth than bein’ honest?” Applejack was thoroughly confused.

“Bein’ honest is ta tell the truth when you can lie. To tell the truth when it’s needed. Ta be true to yerself. Yer not really honest when ya got no secrets. If you can’t lie, then what’s the point? To be able to work up the courage and will to tell the truth, even when it’s tough. Ta see all sides and then tell everypony when it’s the right time. There is much more that ah can’t explain, but that’s most of it.

“It’s somethin’ special, like all the elements are. Loyalty, Generosity, Laughter, Kindness, and Magic. There are so many different aspects to it, it’s hard to completely explain. Ah can’t do it, if ah said ah could, that’d be lyin’. So many facets, like the gems that each one had.

“One day, you’ll understand,” Apple Bloom patted Applejack’s mane before tucking her into bed. She wrapped her granddaughter in the warmth of her blankets, and got off the stool to kiss her forehead. She then turned off the lights and closed the door as she left.

Author's Note

Part 2 coming very soon!

Story Time, Part 2

????

The bright lights stirred Applejack’s eyes open as she awoke. The fluorescent light bulbs above her showered down the color white, painting her surroundings with an eerie glow. Groaning as her joints unstiffened, she got off the floor and stood up on her four hooves.

She turned her head around, seeing the room in its entirety. It was small, maybe four times her own body in width and length, creating a square. The ceiling was at least six feet above her head, with four tube-shaped light bulbs beaming down on her.

Applejack blinked after rubbing her eyes. She hadn’t noticed it at first, but there was a table in front of her, smack dab in the center of the room. Like everything else, it was painted white, but her attention was drawn to it for a different reason. On top of the table was a brown book with words scrawled on its cover: Diary IV.

She took the book into her hooves and opened it to the first page. For some reason, it was smudged, the very first entry only showing the date: March 30. Curiosity filled Applejack, urging her to find out why the diary was ruined.

She turned the page again to see another smudged entry. After turning more than a dozen pages, she found the first readable day, June 10.

--0o0--

Tuesday, June 12

Dear diary,

Today we learned some more math, and prepared for the IQ test again. I think it’s stupid how we have to take this test every single year. I mean, my score has always been the same, 120. Just because I have a super smart uncle doesn’t mean I’m going to start building spaceships in my spare time.

Meh, it was a normal day, overall. I still don’t like these tests.

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

--0o0--

Wednesday, June 11

Dear diary,

Took the test today, and I had some free time so I started doodling. I drew a hippo. It was so boring!

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

Friday, June 13

Dear diary,

School’s almost out, but we still have that math test. Studying is so boring. Nothing else happened today.

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

Tuesday, June 16

Dear diary,

School’s finally out, and that means 3 months of summer! It sucks how all my friends are going out of town for the whole break, but I can totally think of something fun to do. Tomorrow I’m going to Sugarcube Corner and trying out that new ice cream flavor. And then when they come back, I’ll tell them about it. Then again, I’ve always wanted to visit the new park too, so that might be fun.

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

Wednesday, June 17

Dear diary,

Nopony told me Wasabi wasn’t a flavor of ice cream! Why were they selling that? It’s crazy!

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

June 18

Dear diary,

It’s summer now, so I might as well ignore the day of the week. Anyways, Dad, Gray and I went to the park to play with kites today. You ever see two kites hit each other and then explode? Well I did. It was awesome.

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

June 19

Dear diary,

I finished all my chores and Gray is busy with his friends flying around Ponyville. It must be nice being a pegasus, able to fly around see everything from above. Free like a bird. Apparently our grandpa was a pegasus, so it was possible for one of us to have wings.

Yeah, Gray got totally lucky, being born a pegasus. He even gets out of a couple chores because they can only be done by earth ponies. Just because it’s a mud pit, doesn’t mean it’s got to do with the earth! He can totally clean pigs as good as me, not like he’ll ever do it.

Well, whatever, after cleaning the pigs, I had almost the entire day left, so I walked around town. It was quiet as usual. Kinda boring.

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

June 20

Dear diary,

Today I met this colt named Sonic Dash. He’s got this weird hairdo, and a funny looking tail. He’s a mule, but with wings! I asked him how come he has wings, and he said his mom was a pegasus. It’s still weird, because I never heard of a mule with wings. Maybe they’re rare?

Anyways, we raced on the ground because he can’t fly (something about weak joints?). And he beat me, barely! By like a hair. I think I’m going to challenge him again, and this time I’ll win!

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

June 22

Dear diary,

I kept thinking about the race earlier, and couldn’t help but notice how he kept flapping his wings while going uphill. I think that might be helping him.

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

June 23

Dear diary,

I won! This time I told him no using his wings to boost himself, and he agreed and I won! I told Gray about it, and he wants to try that out so he can go faster. Sonic is cool, but he’s going back to Fillydelphia, because he was just visiting his relatives here in Ponyville.

Mom heard about that and thought it was a good idea, and she wants me, Gray and Ginger to visit our uncle later this summer. Dad likes it too, but he wants to wait a bit, maybe call Uncle Job and plan stuff out.

I really want to go, because it’s Manehattan! I hear it’s so big and everything is all fancy. They even have hover autos over there, and it would be so cool if we could.

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

June 25

Dad’s been planning out our trip, so I started going out to get supplies from the market for him. He won’t let me do his chores, because I’m not big enough (I am 2 feet tall! I’m big enough!)

Anyways, when I walked towards the market this morning, I noticed these 3 guard members near our fence. They all had white coats and golden armor with the sun on it, and they were all so tall! They were almost as big as dad, but they were even more quiet than he was. They always frowned, and sneered at me every time they caught me looking.

I kind of run every time I’m near our fence now. I told dad about them, and he told me to not worry. He says everything is going to stay fine.

I really hope so, because those guards are really mean looking.

Sincerely,
Applejack Harkness

June 27

Dad said everything was going to stay the same. He was wrong.

--0o0--

Applejack looked at that last sentence again. Why was he wrong? What happened? Why can’t I remember? She flipped the page to see the next entry, but there was nothing written on that page. She flipped two more pages until she saw a new entry, July 26.

--0o0--

July 26

Dear diary,

Tomorrow I’m going to go live in Manehattan with my Uncle Job and Aunt Windy. I actually want to know why our dog is named after our aunt. Maybe it’s a funny story. I’ve packed everything I need into this neat bindle that Ginger showed me how to make. I’m a little scared, but it’s gonna be good. It’ll be nice to get out of Ponyville.

It only took two weeks to get a town transfer, way faster than normal.

Applejack

July 27

Dear diary,

The train’s stalled right now at Hollow Shades. We’ve been stuck here for almost two hours, so I decided to start writing in here. Apparently a hydragon crashed nearby, so the whole area’s being evacuated. Everypony around knows it was probably a ship too, but we all know to keep our mouths shut.

Of course, the Whitecoats around us assured that it was only a hydragon. They say it could be at up to another two hours before we’re clear to go again.

I’ve been thinking about what happened, and something doesn’t seem right. When it started, the clubhouse caught on fire, and there were sparks flying out. Then there was a big commotion, and then it died down until the second group came.

What seems weird is how after the first 3 came in, 5 more guards came after. The guards in the reinforcements were different: 2 of them were white pegasi, but the other 3 were unicorns in a different uniform. It was kind of creepy, actually.

Actually now that I think about, today’s going to be the first day I won’t see my brothers since like, ever. Gray was so close to crying last night, and Ginger too, even if he tried to hide it. I still don’t know why Grandma sent me and not Ginger or Gray.

I don’t know. I can’t think of anything else, so I think I’ll just sleep. The train seats don’t actually feel that bad.

Applejack

July 28

Dear diary,

Manehattan is so cool! And big! After I got off the train station, I met my Uncle Job and Aunt Windy for the first time ever! Uncle Job owns a computer company called Apple Computers. He’s really smart, and wants to show me the town tomorrow.

Aunt Windy is a blue pegasus that makes ice cream for a job! There are a lot of tasty flavors like cinnamon and apple, and I get to try out her new flavors when Aunt Windy makes them! They’re pretty nice and I think I’m gonna have fun here in the Big Apple.

Sincerely,
Applejack

July 29

Dear diary,

We went to the top of the Solar Empire State Building, and the we could see the whole city! We even saw our house from there it was that tall! We then went out to see the market, and it was gigantic. There were so many ponies there, I got lost for almost five minutes.

Uncle Job avoided the guard stations carefully, he told me we were never within 1000 feet of a single Whitecoat the entire day. He seems happy, but I can’t help but think he’s feeling sad deep down. I think what happened hurt him too.

Sincerely,
Applejack

August 1

Dear diary,

Today I spent time at Uncle Job’s office, and it was really interesting. He taught how to rewire old machines together, and said he was going to teach me a bunch of cool stuff for the rest of the month.

Sincerely,
Applejack

August 3

Dear diary,

Remind me to never mention Windigos XP or Vista in front of Uncle Job. He just won’t stop ranting about it. Aunt Windy said this usually happened at least once a week. He really hates his competition. She just smiled throughout the whole thing.

After a while, he calmed down, and Aunt Windy gave us some really nice ice cream. It tasted better today for some reason. Or maybe it’s just because it’s so hot outside.

Sincerely,
Applejack

September 2

Dear diary,

Starting school again. Apparently foals in Manehattan have to take this stupid training regimen in the nearby Central Park. Anyways, I met some nice ponies from around here. There’s Humble Pie and Pencil Pusher, a couple of nice unicorns. Then there’s Iris, this weird prissy pegasus. I kind of miss my friends back home, but I can at least send letters.

I’ll write more later, I have to study for my Equish test. It’s only the first day, and I’ve already got homework.

Sincerely,
Applejack

September 10

Dear diary,

Humble, Iris, Pusher, and I hung out together today. We decided to study together too, because we have like 5 tests over the next week to “assess our current capabilities in pragmatic and idealistic conditions”. Basically combat situations and other stuff.

Humble does this weird thing where she disappears from one spot, and then pops up somewhere else. Without teleporting. And she sometimes pulls toys and supplies out of thin air. Guess that explains why she never brought saddlebags to class.

Aunt Windy told me to be average, not too good and not too bad, so I don’t get drafted. If I try too hard to fail, they’ll make me retake the tests again until I get a passing score. So try to be average.

I can totally do that.

Sincerely,
Applejack

September 14

Dear diary,

Humble Pie disappeared today. Nopony knows where she went, but there have been rumors. The Whitecoats took her, but we don’t know where to. Now it’s just the 3 of us, and we need 4 ponies for that physical at the end of next week. I still don’t get why we have to tag team for the physical this year, seems kind of weird.

Sincerely,
Applejack

September 16

Dear diary,

Another day, another test. Iris has had some problems with long distance flying, but Pusher and I helped her out. Uncle Job helped me with the science test tomorrow, and Aunt Windy helped me with the history.

Sincerely,
Applejack

September 18

Dear diary,

Guess what! I got my cutie mark! Wanna know how? Well first, it’s kind of a long explanation. Today we had the physical, but it was totally different than what we expected. Instead of us running laps or jumping over fences in a tag team, we had to play paintball.

Instead of having 4 ponies in a group, we had 12. We were the black team, with our black vests, black guns, and black paintballs. Five groups, 60 ponies across Central Park. Grandma once told me paintball was fun, but it didn’t feel like it here. They were watching us, testing our performance, and what happens to us at the end of this year was determined by this.

It was scary, I heard that those that failed the physical ended up in a crystal mine up north, or even in an “embassy” out in another country. It’s a good thing we won.

Okay, so here’s how we did it: First we organized ourselves into pairs, then we split up and took positions to the west and north of the park. Next, Iris and I, pair 2, went towards where red team’s base was located. We ambushed them with 6 of us...

--0o0--

Applejack saw that the remainder of the page, as well as the next two, were ripped out. The next page she saw that was actually there seemed to still be part of that day.

--0o0--

Everypony cheered when I took out the last member in the yellow team. My plan worked! We all were so happy, especially since we won! Pusher and Iris were hugging me when we saw the light coming from my flank, and there it was! Uncle Job was right, no matter what we got, everypony in my family has an apple somewhere on our butts. The symbol was funny looking, but since it wasn’t a picture to do with planning, it meant my talent was leading our group to victory!

The test ended, and we got full marks! (Heh heh, Aunt Windy was right! Puns are funny.)

We celebrated, and tomorrow is my cutecenara, which means even more celebrating. Aunt Windy and Uncle Job took me out to this fancy restaurant because they were “so proud of me”. I think they’d make great parents, and I’d like some more cousins. I didn’t ask, but it makes me wonder why they never had kids.

Anyways, they also thought that it was going to be time to send me home soon. I begged them to let me stay for a while longer, and they agreed that I could stay in Manehattan for the rest of the month. I guess it’s okay, and I still have almost 2 weeks with Pusher and Iris.

It’s going to be great, now that I’ve got my cutie mark, I bet there are a bunch of cool things I can do now that I’ve got my cutie mark!

It’s getting late now. Wow, I’ve been writing for almost half an hour and I’m getting kind of sleepy. Good night diary.

Sincerely,
Applejack

September 25

Dear diary,

Iris, Pusher, and I had a lot of fun at Unicorney Island.The games were totally rigged, but we actually won a few. Then there was this giant ferris wheel called the “Eye”. It was huge! Pusher said that it was once home to a plastic alien, but Iris told him it sounded stupid.

It sounded weird for sure. I mean, who uses plastic anymore?

Sincerely,
Applejack

September 30

Dear diary,

Tomorrow I go back to Ponyville. I really wonder how much things have changed in the past two months.

I said goodbye to my friends, and I hope we can be pen pals now. I’m going to miss Pusher’s antics and Iris breaking everything that wasn’t high grade material. I didn’t write down their addresses because I wanted to remember where they lived in my mind.

I packed everything back into my bindle, so I can go on the train early in the morning so I’ll be able to get back before nightfall.

Sincerely,
Applejack

October 2

Dear diary,

I got home today around noon, mostly because a hydragon destroyed the rails around Hollow Shades, so I had to take the long way around.

Surprisingly, Gray got taller and his wings are slightly less stubby. Ginger looks the same, except with longer hair. Grandma’s taken a turn for the worse, though. She now spends a lot of time in her rocking chair, and she can’t walk up the stairs anymore. She says she’s fine, but I’m starting to worry.

Ginger and Gray like my cutie mark, and grandma told me to remember how it looks for later. I don’t know what she meant, but I guess I should try to.

Also, the kids in my class were on a field trip today, so I won’t see them until tomorrow. It’s good to be home. Now I wonder what kind of job you can get with leadership as a cutie mark? I think I’ll buck apples for a while before I look for something.

Sincerely,
Applejack

--0o0--

Applejack finished reading the last entry and looked in front of her. The table had changed again, this time appearing more square. Opposite to her was another chair, the same color as the surroundings. She blinked again, noticing for the first time a door in front of her. It was made of steel, and it had a small window that showed a gray outside.

Between her and the door was the table and chair, and yet Applejack decided to leave the room. But before she had a chance to get up, the door opened with a slight creaking sound. A unicorn stallion in his twenties, with a white coat, white mane, and a cutie mark of a wooden box entered. He had strange gray eyes and sported a kind smile. He looked straight at Applejack before sitting down in the chair opposite to her.

Applejack frowned before the stallion asked, “Do you know why you’re here?”

She shook her head before the stallion introduced himself, “My name is Adam. I work for the Solar Empire in the Destiny Division, where you are located right now. Our seers determined that you were to be put under scrutiny. Now before we begin, would you like a glass of water?”

Applejack nodded, followed by Adam smiling slightly. When Applejack blinked again, she saw a pitcher filled with water, and two glasses in front of her.

Adam picked up the pitcher with his magic, pouring water into both glasses before taking a sip from his cup. Applejack looked at the glass in front of her before remembering what her uncle once said: Never eat or drink anything if you don’t know where it came from.

Applejack pushed the glass away from her as Adam put his glass down, “Now tell me, what is your special talent?”

“Mah talent?” Applejack asked before frowning more.

“Yes, tell me about it. What is your talent?” Adam stared directly into Applejack’s eyes, his glare piercing her mind.

“I-it’s, ah mean, mah talent is leadership,” Applejack barely got the words out of her mouth.

“And you believe that?” Adam raised an eyebrow.

“Wha? ah mean, yes. That’s how it happened. That what mah cutie mark stands for.”

The stallion continued looking at her before he spoke, “Look again.”

Applejack immediately turned her head and looked at her flank. It was blank.

“What? Where did it go? Mah cutie mark’s gone!” Applejack turned to see both sides, and sure enough, her cutie mark was absent from her left and right side.

“Your cutie mark never existed. Your talent is not leadership.”

“Is too!” Applejack raised her voice.

“Where is your proof? Your flank is barren,” Adam’s eyes darkened slightly.

“It’s written in my diary! Right there!” She pointed to the brown book on the table, only to find it missing.

“What the-?” Applejack’s eyes began showing fear. She looked back at Adam, who was staring back at her.

“Our seers saw your future, and they saw how your rebellious nature and talent as a leader would damage the Empire’s war progress. We could not allow that. So we decided to change your talent. Your grandmother’s influence on you was powerful, but in the end, it was futile.

“History exists for a reason, and you must fill your role. Any change in what has been foretold will only result in disaster. Take your role. Be a farmer.”

Applejack frowned again, “Well ah don’t wanna! Take mah role and give it to someone else. Ah won’t fight against ya.”

“Now that is a lie. Your loyalty to your family is too strong. Making you a farmer and taking your cutie mark is the best option.”

“Options? There are no options! It already happened! I already had mah cutie mark, and then ya took it! Ya can’t change a pony’s past like that! T’ain’t fair! I got mah cutie mark by passin’ that dumb physical with flyin’ colors!”

“You failed the physical. Your team came in last place because there was no one to lead. You had the idea, but you never spoke up.”

Applejack spoke again, her voice began taking in some elements of anger, “No! I passed that test! Me and my friends celebrated that day! And then my cutecenara happened the day after!”

“You and your friends broke up. There was a fight, and the three of you went your separate ways. You resented Iris’s love of upper-class culture, so that resentment spread out to all parts of Manehattan for you. The party you had was full of your uncle’s rich business partners. You didn’t like them, and you began missing home.

“Later on, you decided to leave Manehattan and go back to Ponyville with your family. That is what happened,” Adam finished.

“No it’s not! That is not what happened, you’re lying!” Applejack screamed, her eyes began to water.

“How can I be lying? You have no proof, and your friends were relocated out to separate ends of the country. You will never see them again.”

“But that’s wrong! It didn’t happen that way, it’s not honest!” Applejack stood up on her chair.

“But how do you know what you are saying is honest? It could go either way.”

“No it can’t! There’s only one truth, and that’s not even part of it! None of what you said is- ” Applejack stopped, her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open, “No, no that can’t be right. It didn’t happen that way.”

She couldn’t believe it. New memories were forming, and they began to replace the old. She saw herself leaving Ponyville. Meeting her aunt and uncle. Meeting her friends. Failing the test. The anger, the tears. She couldn’t remember the address they gave her. She remembered the party. The snooty rich patrons, the stockholders. How awkward she felt.

She remembered feeling homesick. She remembered packing her bindle and running to the train station, leaving only a note for Uncle Job. She remembered the agonizing wait home. This time, it only took one day because she left before the hydragon destroyed the rails.

She remembered returning home. The tears and happiness. She remembered promising to never leave home again. And then she remembered the light. The bright light that showed her cutie mark: three red apples signifying her destiny on the farm.

She remembered.

And then she began to forget. She never went to Unicorney Island because she and her friends had already fought before the trip. She never exchanged addresses. She never knew where all of the ponies she shot were. She only dodged paint bullets before she got hit with blue paint. She never saw that proud look on her uncle and aunt’s faces.

She forgot.

“No!” Applejack clutched her head with her hooves. Sweat began pouring down her as her breathing became ragged. The sharp pain in her head only increased as her memories began fighting. Her mind was a battlefield, and the ensuing struggle was destroying her mind.

“Hmm, it seems the memories are too deeply ingrained,” Adam’s horn lit up, the familiar flash of light appeared again, enveloping Applejack. Soon her flank was adorned with the familiar three red apples that popped up in her memories.

“NO!” tears began flowing freely as the pain escalated. You are a farmer. After all, that’s what your name means.

“Mah name is Applejack and ah am a leader!”

But your cutie mark.

“That doesn’t change anything!”

What was the phrase grandma said? ‘Everything changes, for good or bad’. Your past has changed. Accept it.

“No, I won’t!” Applejack’s face was coated in tears, and she had started sobbing.

The room began to fade to black, the white surrounding her transitioning o gray before disappearing completely. Soon she was alone, with only her thoughts.

“A-ah am a l-leader!” her voice cracked as she began sobbing. She missed her friends. She missed her family. She missed Uncle Job and Aunt Windy.

Would a leader be crying like this? You’ve lost. Admit defeat.

“NO. AH. WON’T!”

Two sides. Two sets of memories. There is no third. One side has been chosen. Take it.

“NO! Ah choose the one ah got! Ah won’t lose mah friends! Ah won’t lose mah memories! Ah earned them!”

You never earned anything. The Empress has spoken. Your memories are to be changed. Your talent, your experiences, your cutie mark, it has been decided.

“No! Ah decide mah destiny! Ah’m mah own master!”

You are the master of nothing. You have nothing, except what we give you, and we will take back what we want. You are not your own master.

“Aargh!” Applejack was squealing her words now, the inky darkness surrounding her began to vibrate as a piercing sound assaulted her eardrums.

You have two sides. The leader and the farmer. We took one and we gave one. Take the talent we gave you with and be grateful we didn’t leave you a blank flank.

And then the darkness consumed her.

--0o0--

Applejack woke up. Her mind was quiet, as well as the rest of the dark room surrounding her. It was her bedroom back at Sweet Apple Acres. The same bed with its white sheets, the same apple symbols adorning everything in the room.

From what she could tell, it was very early in the morning, before the sun rose. She got up quietly and entered the bathroom. She looked into the mirror above her sink, barely able to make out her reflection in the pale moonlight.

Her mane was unkempt, and she still had that wound under her chin from where she scraped herself during the physical. She sighed before looking down to her flank. On it was three red apples, arranged in a triangle.

It would be a long process, but she was going to recover from this ordeal.

--0o0--

A week passed, and nothing changed. Applejack discovered that she was very good at applebucking, and exceptional at other types of farm work. Gray was happy that Applejack was no longer sick, and Ginger was glad to have someone else help with the farm chores who wasn’t a scrawny pegasus colt. They were patiently waiting for their sister to start speaking again, however.

For some odd reason that Applejack couldn’t place, she felt a sadness deep within her gut. Something that made her feel depressed just thinking about it. She stopped paying bother, and continued to buck trees.

--0o0--

Applejack spent the next week in silence. When she wasn’t bucking apples or tending to other chores on the farm, she stayed on the front porch, staring off into the distance. Eventually she began speaking again, but mostly in single word replies and a hushed tone.

Her eyes were nearly devoid of life, yet she wasn’t a zombie. Her actions were swift and deliberate, but never quick. Her brothers both agreed to stay supportive and not bother her. They couldn’t place why she was acting like this, they only knew it started after she returned from Manehattan after she decided to stay on the farm forever.

Whatever was wrong, they were sure they could overcome it. They were just glad their sister came back.

--0o0--

She felt the darkness disappear with the light. That was what happened to her every morning as she woke up with the dawn. The inevitable defeat of the darkness by the light. The sun created light, and thus was good.

She smiled at the window, and decided it was finally time to clean up her desk. After throwing away a lot of useless junk from years past, she came across her old diary. Applejack frowned. She hadn’t written in it since she came back. She opened the diary to the last place written, only to find most of the pages that she wrote while in Manehattan were gone.

On the page after October 3, she saw a single word written down:

Remember.

When she saw that word, something sparked within her. That single word was enough to change the feeling in her gut into something new. Something that was old. She began to remember.

She remembered everything. Both sides of the same story. She remembered winning. She remembered losing. She remembered Unicorney Island. She remembered the fight. But which side was the right one? Which one actually happened? The conflict in her mind ravaged her young brain almost as badly as the first time.

Which one was the truth? Which one was the honestly best choice? She couldn’t decide. On the one hand, she has her friends. On the other hand, she liked being here with her family. She didn’t want to leave that badly anymore.

Which one? Left or right? Black or white? Leader or farmer?

Master of none.

Mah name is Applejack, and ah am a leader!

What do I choose?

Which one?

…

Why not both?

--0o0--

Things were different now. She remembered everything. Unfortunately, her choice had some odd effects. While she was still good at farming, she couldn’t buck as many apples as before. She always did her job well, but never as fast.

Her baking was excellent, but it felt like something was a little off. Only when she cooked with Apple Bloom or Gray did the pie come out perfectly every time. She decided to perform other odd jobs, like fixing the fence, planning out next year’s profits and harvests, and cleaning the chicken coop.

She hadn’t noticed it until after the picking up the eggs, but now it was unmistakable. She had changed. And yet, she had never felt better. Applejack smiled before going back to the house to drop off the eggs.

--0o0--

Now that she had recovered completely from Manehattan, she was scheduled to to return to school at the end of the week. But before she did, she had to take one more test: the Star Searcher exam.

--0o0--

The test was short, sixty questions followed by a resonance field test via a magical scanner. Applejack finished it in an hour and a half. She didn’t think much about it, at least until the news broke out a week later.

--0o0--

Excerpt from The Solar Equestrian Empire Daily

PONYVILLE FILLY RECEIVES PERFECT STAR SEARCHER SCORE

In an incredible turn of events, a twelve year old filly from Ponyville, Boeshane Province is the first pony in the exam’s 44 year history to receive a perfect score on any section. Applejack Harkness, the aforementioned filly, received a perfect 100 on the honesty section, as well as an unprecedented 95 in loyalty.

She has been granted a full scholarship to Six-Point Academy, and is believed to be on the track to a Space Fleet officer of the highest caliber. Applejack was born to Arkansas Black Smith, the town blacksmith and his wife, Golden Apple Brightness, who both perished earlier this year in an accidental fire. Her uncle Zap Apple Job, is the founder and CEO of Apple Computing Equipment.

Quoted from the mayor of Ponyville: “She is our pride and joy. Many ponies in our city have called her ‘The Muzzle of Ponyville’ while those in the greater Boeshane province have dubbed her ‘The Face of Boe’. I‘ve met her once, and I always knew she had what it takes to be a prodigy, what with her apple powered engine that partially worked during the science fair last year. It at least crushed the apples that time.”

Quoted from Dr. White Noise: “A perfect score. Nopony has ever gotten higher than 80 in honesty before, and that loyalty score is the highest in the entire province. She would make an excellent bearer. We can expect great things from her, and she might very well help us defeat the hydragon menace.”

We at the SEED were unable to contact the members of Applejack’s family, but were assured that they were ecstatic about young Applejack’s scholarship to Six-Point Academy…

--0o0--

The farm had not been this somber since Applejack’s parents died. No one said anything, there wasn’t much need to. They all knew: Six-Point Academy led to a position on a starship. A position on a starship led to a premature death. There was no need to say anything. For they all knew what was to come.

In the week leading up to Applejack being shipped off, she spent the majority of her time playing with Gray. When he was in school, she spent her time bucking apples or helping her grandmother bake pies.

One day, while the two were waiting for the pie to cool, Applejack finally asked, “What does yer cutie mark mean?”

Apple Bloom looked up at Applejack from her crossword puzzle. The old mare reached for her flask and downed another gulp of the elixir, “What do ya think of when you see it?”

Applejack looked at the red apple in the center of the wheel. The wooden circle with spokes sticking directly into the apple seemed to draw a sense of familiarity to her, “Ah don’t know. Ah think it has somethin’ ta do with ya fixin’ a wagon when it broke, after ya fought off the chimera in yer story.”

Apple Bloom chuckled, “It was actually fer putting stuff together. When ah first defied the psions, they messed me up real badly. By the time ah recovered, the rest of mah class had also gotten their destinies. Ah’ve come ta terms with what happened. Some days ah look at a house and think ‘ah could have helped build that.’ But then ah looked at ma flank and saw the apple between the flower petals.”

Applejack’s eyes widened.

“It took me so long, but eventually ah got some of mah talent back. Fixin’ things became easy and ah started ta get a mind fer machines. Ah was content. Ah didn’t lose, but ah didn’t win. It was as far as ah could go. It was where mah destiny went. Course, ah did send a couple o’ blueprints ta city hall under a pseudonym. It was some good times.

“But now, ah’m an old, dying mare. The Blue Flu took a hundred and sixty-two years ta get me ta where ah am now, and it’s finally beating everything mah medicine’s got. But it’s okay. I’ve lived three times what they wanted outta me, and that was enough. Ah made a promise, but ah don’t think it could’ve ever been fulfilled in the first place.”

Apple Bloom coughed, “So what’s yer talent now? Leader of apple farming?”

Applejack shook her head, “No, apples.”

“Apple farming? Baking? Apple computers?”

Applejack shook her head, “Everything ta do with apples.”

Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow, “Sounds insane. Mind you explainin’?”

Applejack pointed at her flank, “Three apples. What do you see? Ah see apples, but there ain’t any context. And then ah thought about mah name.”

“Harkness?” Apple Bloom tilted her head.

The filly shook her head, “No, mah first name. Ya said it means a type of alcohol made with apples. But then ah thought ‘Jack’. And then ah decided if ah wasn’t the master of mah own destiny, and ah wasn’t gonna be a master at anythin’ else, ah decided ta be the Jack.

“Mah name is Applejack Harkness, jack of all trades, master of none. Ah was born with one side, and then Adam gave me another. But ah was missin’ the third side, so ah combined them together. And this is what ah got,” Applejack pointed her hoof into her chest.

“Me.”

Apple Bloom smiled, “I think yer parents would be proud of ya.”

A tear fell down Applejack’s face as she smiled.

--0o0--

Admiral Firewall was a burly yellow and orange pegasus with a cutie mark of a wall on fire. When asked what it meant, he usually replied how he was tough enough to stop anything, even enemy fire. While as cool as that sounds, it probably implied he got bullied a lot when he was a colt.

Today was not a good day for him. He was the pony in charge of Six-Point, as well as all of the fleets in the armada. But right now, he had to deal with the results of listening to psychics that were completely wrong.

“You told me we would have surpassed the lagrange point by the end of this year,” he said to the zebra in front of him. The striped equine was laying on the stone floor, his back left hoof chained to the wall.

“You said that the hydragons would be no match for our fleet. You said we would suffer minimal losses. You said we would not lose to the enormous forty headed hydragon that attacked the second fleet.

“You didn’t say that that hydragon could could regrow lost heads! You didn’t say that the hydragon army had literally quadrupled in size! You didn’t say that they knew our attack pattern and destroyed thirty-four ships in under an hour.”

The stallion came forward, his nose almost touching the zebra’s muzzle. Firewall snarled before grabbing the zebra by his iron collar, “And because of this, we lost many valuable assets.

“Did you hear the news? Or did you divine that yourself? A little filly with a perfect score, and you convinced us that she was better off as a farmer because we didn’t need her because we were winning the war!

“And then there were her parents! You said we would only need three vamps, and look what happened!” Firewall raised his hoof above his head, ready to strike the zebra seer, “The couple killed our agents. We kept sending more in. Eight of them died. Three vamps and six sabres! They defeated six sabres! They beat eight of the strongest using a burning treehouse!

“But of course, it’s not your fault,” Firewall brought his hoof down and threw the zebra down onto the cell floor, “There are just so many variables, and no one ever said psychics were infallible. After all, we only have fifty of you stuck here in this building.”

He smiled maniacally, “It’s alright. Mistakes were made,” he got up onto his hind legs and stood next to the zebra, “But you know what? I’m willing to forgive you,” Firewall took his left hind leg and kicked the zebra in the gut.

The seer wheezed, but his quiet moans in pain were overshadowed as the admiral kept talking, “I know what you are doing, and it’s not going to work. Your brother is joining Six-Point next week. I also plan to take Applejack and make her an officer. With her harmony, we can defeat the Republic,” he spat out the last word.

The seer winced when he felt his bruised rib, “What about her loyalties? Surely she is not loyal to the Empire. Her mind is made up in its entirety.”

Firewall smiled, “A loyalty score of 95 can be surely redirected to a… more productive purpose. Ta ta, I’ll be back tomorrow for some more predictions.”

As the admiral left, the zebra seer sighed. Great. I had one job. One job! Keep Applejack out of the battlefield, was that so hard? But no, she just had to be a prodigy.

He sighed before laying back down on the ground, careful not to touch his wound. At least my brother will be with her. With any luck, they’ll get together and she’ll save his ass a few times. He closed his eyes and began concentrating. Darn, something is blocking me. Some kind of interference?

He opened his eyes again and looked up at the dark ceiling. Good luck, little brother. You’ll need it.

--0o0--

The day finally came. Applejack had packed her bindle once again, and stood in the kitchen, waiting for the inevitable. Her siblings were there with her. Gray was quietly sobbing, wiping the tears with his front hooves. Ginger was standing stock-still, unwilling to show any more emotion other than sadness. He wanted to be there for his little brother.

The three of them stood around the kitchen table silently. After a few minutes, Apple Bloom walked in, carrying a small vial with her.

Applejack looked at her, “What is that?”

Apple Bloom handed over the vial to her granddaughter, “It’s fer you. When yer in trouble, drink it and it will make ya better.”

The filly looked at the vial, “No grandma, you need this.”

Apple Bloom smiled, “You’ll need it more,” she placed the vial inside Applejack’s bindle.

“Okay, grandma,” Applejack replied.

Outside, a screeching noise was heard, “That’s probably the carriage,” Ginger Gold said, “Ah’ll get yer bag.”

He took the bindle and put it on his back, and was about to open the door, “We don’t got much time.”

Gray walked up to Applejack and hugged her hind leg, “Please don’t go. I don’t want you to die,” he whispered.

Barely holding back tears, Applejack hugged Gray back, kissing him on the forehead, “Don’t worry sugarcube. Ah promise ah’ll be fine.”

“Pinkie promise?” Gray asked.

“Cross mah heart, hope ta fly. Stick a cupcake in mah eye,” Applejack went through the motions and noogied her brother.

Applejack walked outside, with Gray in tow. When the four of them reached the fence, they saw a large armored hover carriage in front of them. Powered by electricity, it hovered a full foot above the ground, and was painted chrome.

The back door was open, revealing an inside with two benches on the side. It was empty, meaning that Applejack was probably the only pony drafted in Ponyville. On both sides of the back door were two guards, each with white coats and standard gold armor.

Applejack took her bindle and let made Gray let go. She trotted up to guards and stood before the back end of the hover carriage. She looked back at her family, the three of them waving their hooves at her, tears flowing down their cheeks.

Before she stepped in, she looked at the guard on her left. His white coat and unicorn horn, his white mane… and his gray eyes.

Applejack gasped, “A-Adam?”

The stallion smiled, “You didn’t think you won, did you?”

Applejack turned around and tried to flee, but was immediately tackled to the ground the other guard.

She tried struggling, but the guard was over twice her size, “No! Yer not gettin’ in mah mind again!”

At those words, Ginger yelled and rocketed towards Adam. The white stallion smirked and sidestepped, dodging the yellow earth pony. Adam socked Ginger in the face and tripped his back hooves with magic.

The earth pony fell to the ground, his face bruised. Adam went towards Ginger and kicked him in the ribs, “You ponies never know when to back down.”

Adam picked up Applejack with his magic and tossed her inside the back of the carriage, “For the next four hours, your mind is mine to play with,” he stepped into the back with her and sat down.

The other guard climbed into the front of the hover carriage and started the engine. The back door closed and the vehicle moved away from Sweet Apple Acres.

--0o0--

San Flankcisco. Alternatively called San Prancisco or San Franciscolt, is the home of Six-Point Academy, where the best and brightest are brought together to fight the most insidious and dangerous of enemies: the hydragon.

Towering over four hundred feet, weighing over two tons, one of them can destroy an entire city. Over 100,000 tons in weight, and able to breathe fire hot enough to melt steel, its ten heads means ten different lines of fire. Fighting even one is incredibly dangerous, with a survival percentage in the low forties.

But that didn’t matter to Applejack now. She swore to protect the Empire from its enemies. Praise the Empress and all of her divine glory. The Sun is the source of all that is good.

Of course, that doesn’t mean she has to like it.

As she fumbled down the hall, she finally reached her room: Number 048. With her bindle in one hoof, she proceeded to open the door. Sliding it open, she saw what was to be her accommodations and residence for the next four years.

Two beds, two desks, a bathroom. The room was painted a light orange, and the furniture itself was made out of wood. The sheets were white, and the room was well lit. On the bed to Applejack’s left a pink unicorn with a white mane. On her flank was a crystalline heart superimposed over a six point star. She was reading several textbooks, eagerly taking notes.

At the sound of the door sliding open, the unicorn looked up and gasped. She stood up, and quickly closed the gap between her and Applejack.

The mare grinned and squealed with excitement, “Oh my Celestia, my roommate’s Applejack Harkness! I’m rooming with a prodigy!”

The unicorn wrapped her front hooves around Applejack, “My name’s Crystal Heart, and I just know we’re going to be the best of friends!”

--0o0--
1619 AD

“And that was mah childhood. Anythin’ after that doesn’t really count. Bein’ drafted into the military at age twelve was the end of that,” Applejack tilted her head and stared at the ceiling. Cheerilee’s comfy chair was warm after Applejack had sat in it for so long.

Rainbow Dash and Cheerilee sat quietly in their seats, the latter having finished her cup of water long ago. Despite the confusion they both had, they didn’t want to ask Applejack any questions. The look on the immortal’s face was blank, and yet the two of them felt something unnervingly sad and angry within.

Eventually, Rainbow Dash spoke up, “So let me get this straight,” Applejack turned her head towards Rainbow.

“You’re an immortal who was born into Empress Celestia’s fascist regime in the distant future. In said future, she has complete control of your memories. Your cutie mark is everything involving apples at the cost of never being the absolute best at anything, and you got it shortly before being brainwashed and drafted into the military of the future, which has spaceships fighting super dragons with a really high death rate. Is that right?”

Applejack nodded before Rainbow Dash continued, “I really don’t get it. For two weeks now, I've been, you know, chasing a mysterious mare that flies really fast. Then I get caught up in this conspiracy about the murder of a writer, involving a farmer from the future, a schoolteacher, and a buffalo… witch.”

Applejack opened her mouth, about to say something, until Rainbow said, “But that doesn't matter. I am never gonna understand everything. I won’t know everything. What I do understand and do know is that my best friend is hurting, and she totally needs a hug.”

Applejack got off the comfy chair, “Rainbow… ”

“Get over here before I make ya,” Rainbow and Applejack got together and platonically embraced.

Cheerilee put her glass down and shrugged. She got up and joined the hug. They kept on hugging until they were bathed in the light from the rising sun.

Author's Note

...

Finished! Took me forever to write this. 12k words!
Crystal Heart and Adam are not OCs. You know where they're from. If you don't, why are you reading a Torchwood fiction?
I still have ~3 more chapters of Applejack's past to be written, but...
Next time! We return to the present! Applejack and Cheerilee fight evil! More Scootaloo!

Lots of Setup

April 8, 1619

After the intense hugging session, the three mares released themselves from each other’s tight grip. The sun had fully risen above the horizon, shining brightly and completely lighting Cheerilee’s living room.

Rainbow Dash was the first to speak, “So even though I’m probably gonna be fine with all of this craziness, doesn’t mean I’m not gonna ask questions. Something tells me the two of you have been up to some pretty insane stuff.”

Cheerilee shrugged, “I guess it depends on your perspective. Technically we have, but certain members of the guard deal with similar situations. Not only that, but ever since Nightmare Moon, most of the extraterrestrials in the region have stayed,” she brought up her two front hooves to make air quotes, “‘On The Down Low’.”

Squinting her eyes, Rainbow Dash brought up her front hooves and mimicked Cheerilee’s motions. She cocked her head with confusion until Cheerilee explained, “It’s an expression foals use.”

“... Okay. Next question, how and why is Gilda involved in this mess?” the pegasus asked.

Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash before answering, “Basically, Gilda’s a terrorist from GILDA, the Germaneian Incognito Liberty or Die Alliance.”

“Wait, so she’s Gilda from GILDA?” Rainbow Dash blinked, “That’s… redundant.”

“I actually thought it was a codename. Like somepony using ‘Agent Smith’ or something similar,” Cheerilee remarked.

“So is it her name?” Rainbow Dash began pondering. It was a clear sign that the entire situation was becoming deeply convoluted.

“Ah don’t rightly know, the file on her only goes back twelve years, from when she first moved to Equestria. All it says is that she’s the one hundred and seventeenth member of the group,” Applejack thought before finishing, “You should just ask her yerself when ya get the chance.”

“And when can I meet her?” Rainbow crossed her front her hooves together.

Applejack’s eyes shifted slightly, “Um, whenever she stops fightin’ aliens in Canterlot and can avoid the guard long enough to hold a conversation without being tackled to the ground.”

“She wasn’t worrying about being arrested back when she visited Ponyville,” Rainbow replied.

“Her identity may have gotten leaked to the guard a while back.”

“Can’t I just meet her in secret?”

“Like ah said, when she stops fightin’ aliens in Canterlot.”

Rainbow Dash sighed before replying, “Let’s move on to a different topic.”

Cheerilee cleared her throat and spoke up, “Actually, now is probably the best time to talk about that ‘employer’ Strongheart is working for.”

“Ah got nothin’. She could be in league with any number of enemies ah’ve made over the past… ” Applejack thought back while rubbing her chin, “Three hundred years. More than a dozen.”

“What kind of enemies? Like pirates?” Rainbow Dash leaned in closer.

“Lessee: Celestia, the Equestrian military in general, the South Zebrican Nationalist Party, Filly Manger, every flutterpony ever, the Sabre, vampires, vamponies, werewolves, wereponies, Cyberponies, Daleks, Sycorax, some Time Agents, and the Ponynesian government,” Applejack continued to rub her chin, “There aren’t that many pirates anymore. Do assassins count?”

“Why would you be an enemy of assassins?” Cheerilee asked incredulously.

“They find it really irritatin’ when their enemy can’t die. Ah also may have messed around with a few of their jobs,” Applejack shook her head, “Assassins and most aliens wouldn’t be involved in this. It don’t fit their motivation. Somethin’ ta do with destiny and history.”

“Actually, I’d like to know what the hay you’re even doing with history,” Rainbow Dash spoke, “I mean, what exactly does ‘fighting destiny’ even mean?”

Applejack looked directly Rainbow Dash and answered, “Ta put it simply: ah’m changin’ the course of history.”

“Change the course of… Wait, are you saying you are gonna wipe out what’s gonna happen?!” Rainbow Dash blurted.

“How in Tartarus did ya get that?” Applejack responded.

“This is just like those movies! You’re gonna wipe off everything that’s already gonna happen and replace it with something else!”

“Movies?” Applejack groaned before putting her hoof to her eyebrows, “Okay, what reason would make you think that movies would make good info on temporal mechanics?”

Rainbow Dash huffed, “Well I don’t know, how about the place that makes them is called Applewood? I bet you’ve got roots all over the place, am I right? And you’re gonna kill all the ponies who haven’t even existed yet!”

“Why you-” Applejack stopped and thought carefully about the best way to explain, “Listen. In mah time, the name ‘Celestia’ refers to the tyrant who’s conquered entire nations in the span of months. She went from the kind and loving pony she is now to a ruthless monster sometime in the next century.

“Ah grew up there. And as the years dragged on, things got worse and worse. Minotaurs were extinct, every zebra and griffon was either in chains or workin’ in suicide missions. Entire cities were ravaged in the war. Princess Luna launched super dragons to burn Equestria. By the time the nukes started dropping, there weren’t much left to destroy.

“You thought eternal night was bad? Ya’ll haven’t seen nothin’. Ya think this is insane? Tell that to the dead. Are ya sayin’ that ya know millions are gonna die if ya do nothin’, and then yer still gonna do nothin’?”

“This is different! How do you know the change will be better? You don’t! Not even counting that, you’re still preventing millions of ponies from ever being born! Haven’t you ever seen A Flash of Lightning? One small difference is going to change everything!” Rainbow Dash flailed her hooves into the air.

“Heh heh,” Applejack smirked, holding back laughter before breaking out in guffaws, “Hah! Hah!” Applejack gasped for air, snorting as she began to clutch her chest.

“Um, I’m confused,” Rainbow admitted, “What’s going on? This is a serious topic.”

Applejack blinked back tears while gasping for air, “Heh. Hah! I-it’s. Pfft! Hah!”

Cheerilee grinned, biting back the urge to laugh as well, “Rainbow Dash, that was a terrible movie.”

“Guys? Can’t we y’know, take this seriously?” Rainbow started, before Applejack stopped her.

“Don’t y’all worry. Ah’m pretty well versed in temporal mechanics and the like. If mah calculations are correct, and ah did check ’em, everything'll be fine. Nobody’s gettin’ erased, ah’ll avoid most of the deaths, and lives will stay where they always were,” Applejack explain assuredly.

“So… You do math?” Rainbow Dash blinked.

“In the future, everyone does math. Ya can’t pilot a spaceship or anything else cool if ya don’t.”

“What a world that would be,” Cheerilee grinned, “A world where foals are excited to learn math because it can be used to do anything! It must have been a good time to be a teacher.”

“If yer fine with pro-Empire propaganda and brainwashin’ foals,” Applejack retorted.

“Teachers never catch a break, do they?” Rainbow Dash flapped her wings slightly while raising an eyebrow.

Cheerilee sighed while Applejack snorted.

“So how are you gonna deal with this employer anyway?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Same thing we always do. Stop minor alien invasions, monitor the rift, and poke monsters with a really big stick,” Cheerilee replied.

Applejack pondered for a moment before adding, “You know, ah think we should do something about Strongheart. Send a message. Something exciting.”

Cheerilee started to ask, “Is it going to be normal or extraterrestrial-”

“It’s gonna have aliens and us savin’ the day!” Applejack pumped her hoof into the air, “And maybe some life-savin’ ta boot, it’s a win-win!”

Cheerilee groaned before telling Rainbow, “It’s either going to be a disaster, or I will never hear the end of it.”

“Is it going to be fun?” Rainbow Dash replied with a smirk.

Cheerilee facehoofed, “Probably.”

--0o0--
April 10, 1619

“... That’s when this here appeared,” Applejack motioned towards her cutie mark, “Ah’ve been workin’ on the farm ever since.”

As she finished telling her story to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, several bunnies holding apples appeared. Applejack noticed them and began chasing, “There they are! Get back here ya thievin’ varmints!”

“Aw, that was such a sweet story!” Sweetie Belle said to Apple Bloom.

“Sweet? Try sappy,” Scootaloo made a fake gagging sound. Besides, that story’s obviously a lie. Element of Honesty, lying to our faces. “Come on! We’ve got to find Rainbow Dash and hear the cool way to get a cutie mark.” And hear something truthful.

--0o0--

After seeing multiple “cool-but-not-as-cool-as-Rainbow-Dash” ponies, several group hugs, and a horribly sappy song, Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash were finally alone again in Sugarcube Corner. Rainbow Dash had just finished helping Pinkie Pie put away some of her party supplies and was now able to see the little orange filly.

Rainbow Dash awkwardly stumbled in, several pieces of confetti stuck to her body. At least one long spiral-shaped streamer was tangled in her mane. She smiled at Scootaloo before the filly asked, “So, what happened with Applejack?”

Rainbow Dash’s face became neutral as she spoke, “Listen Scoots,” Rainbow began rubbing the back of her head, “I talked to AJ about it- ”

“You did what!?” Scootaloo shrieked before covering her mouth, “You did what?” she repeated in a hushed whisper.

“”It’s okay. She told me everything,” Rainbow tried to reassure her, “I don’t completely understand, but I know you can trust her. She’s still the same Applejack she always was. Y’know, stubborn, likes apples, cares about Apple Bloom.”

“But she’s dangerous! Every time I see her, this feeling in the back of my head gets worse! It’s like looking at a creepy ponnequin, except knowing it could turn alive and attack you!”

“Scootaloo, AJ is a pony, and I am not letting you say otherwise!” Rainbow Dash rose into the air and crossed her front hooves together.

“No, I’m saying she’s dangerous, like she’s messing with something really, really important. Not only that, but she’s lying. She’s lying about her past, yet she’s the Element of Honesty. How can you trust somepony like that?”

The elder pegasus sighed before returning to the ground, “She told me everything, Scoots. Her past, her plans, everything. I trust her. And if you trust me, then at least try to give her the benefit of the doubt.”

Give her a chance. She’s dangerous. Rainbow Dash trusts her. She’s dangerous. But Rainbow- “Okay. I’ll try,” Scootaloo hesitated before turning around to leave through the door.

As the filly exited, Rainbow Dash yelled, “Don’t worry! I’ll keep an eye on her for you!”

--0o0--
April 13, 1619

Applejack, Cheerilee, and Rainbow Dash were standing at the edge of Tartarus. Or, more accurately, at an area where the realm of Tartarus leaked into their current space-time location. It differed from the Gate of Tartarus, as the place they were at was an empty field. There was also no giant three-headed dog.

Near the field was a large crater, dug up several years ago in search of an ancient alien artifact before it was declared to be a complete hoax. Obviously, since the location was above a rift in the space-time continuum leading to Tartarus, it wasn’t completely false. The diggers just got the time wrong.

The three mares, each decked out in camouflage colors, pith helmets, a cooler full of snacks, and binoculars, were quietly waiting for something cool to happen.

“How much longer?” Rainbow Dash whispered to Applejack.

“The note doesn’t say, it’s only got the date,” Applejack whispered back.

“Can you at least pass over some chips?” Rainbow asked.

Applejack reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a bag of dried apple chips, then opened the bag very slowly so as to minimize the noise. She then handed it over, “Here, but eat it real quiet-like.”

Rainbow Dash took the bag and slowly crunched down on a single apple wafer, “Sweet.”

--0o0--
Six Hours Later

“Applejack.”

“Yeah Cheers?”

“What was the date the note said?”

“Ah got it right here, it says… the 15th.”

“... ”

“Eh heh. Oops.”

--0o0--
April 15, 1619

“You’re absolutely sure this is the right day?” Cheerilee asked as the three mares walked to their stakeout point.

“Yes! For the last time, ah checked it twice this mornin’!” Applejack responded.

“Are you sure? Because waiting to fight monsters is about as uncool as waiting in line to renew a weather license,” Rainbow Dash added.

Applejack grumbled, “Fine, take the note and read it for yerselves,” she stopped and reached into her bag for the piece of paper with incredibly sensitive information written on it. Eventually, after two minutes of blindly feeling for the paper, she pulled it out and showed both of her compatriots.

“AJ, it says ‘18’ on it,” Rainbow responded.

“No it doesn’t.”

“Applejack, I’m a schoolteacher. It may be messy, but I am absolutely sure it says ‘April 18’ there,” Cheerilee asserted.

“Well shoot, what are we gonna do now?”

--0o0--
April 18, 1619

“I swear, if we don’t fight a monster today, I’m gonna kick something,” Rainbow Dash huffed as the three mares hid behind a bush. In front of them was the same crater as last time, still completely inert.

“Don’t worry, today is definitely the day. Ah even used a microscope to be sure,” Applejack replied.

“Did you focus it correctly?” Cheerilee piped up.

“Yes Cheers, I remembered. Ah even asked Big Mac about it, so it’s absolutely, positively, corn-shuckingly right.”

“Okay, but we are fighting monsters, right?” Rainbow Dash pestered again.

“Eeyup, complete monsters. They rip apart their hapless victim and sell his body as food. Definitely monsters.”

Cheerilee the spoke up, “Unfortunately, we can’t actually stop it today, but at the very least we can beat up one of the perpetrators and get some information out of them.”

“Well that sounds kinda lame,” Rainbow Dash replied, “That’s it? No robot ponies, flying salt shakers, or spaceships? We’re fighting at least one alien right?”

Applejack took out her binoculars and peered in, hoping to find the telltale signs of a rip in the space-time continuum. She eventually replied, “Fighting? No. We’re saving one.”

“Are we saving it from an even bigger alien?”

Right before Applejack was able to reply, a crackling noise manifested. At the same time, a bright light revealed a dark circle fifteen feet in diameter. Soon, a black iron carriage came out, being pulled an ordinary looking yellow earth pony stallion.

The three mares immediately ducked out of his line of sight. Applejack and Cheerilee began making complicated hoof gestures at each other. To Rainbow Dash, it appeared to be the most complicated hoofshake ever devised.

After thirty seconds, during which a silent argument over battle strategy occurred, the two earth ponies nodded in agreement. Cheerilee pulled out a very large dart gun out of her saddlebags, while Applejack jumped into the air.

She immediately charged at the stallion, screaming at the top of her lungs. Rainbow Dash could only gape at her, as the stallion pulled out a large weapon filled with arrows.

Thwip!

Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip! Thwip!

--0o0--

“AJ! AJ! Applejack! Wake up!” Applejack opened her eyes to see a familiar pegasus over her body.

Rainbow Dash saw Applejack’s opened eyes and immediately got off her. The pegasus looked a bit rough, her mane messier than usual, with dirt and grass stuck inside. She breathing heavily, still coming to terms with what had happened.

Cheerilee was next to Rainbow, moving a pile of broken arrows into her bag. Her hooves were caked with dried blood.

Squinting her eyes, Applejack groaned as she sat up onto her haunches, her head dizzy with the rapid loss of blood and regeneration of multiple internal organs. She finally croaked out, “Ah’m fine, Dash. Just a little woozy, s’all. I do want to know where he got a crossbow with that many arrows.”

Applejack got up and immediately stumbled. She then grumbled, “And how did he not miss even once?

Rainbow Dash smiled before replying, “I’m surprised Cheerilee got him in one shot.”

“The darts are filled with a lot of anesthesia. One hit, and yer down.”

Rainbow Dash awkwardly turned to Cheerilee, who was still cleaning up the mess around them. She then looked at the unconscious perpetrator, who had since collected a small pool of his drool. The black carriage stood where it was left, behind the stallion.

Applejack got onto her legs and walked to the carriage. She opened the back door after picking the lock. Which took at least ten minutes because it was several smaller locks attached to each other.

When she finally pulled the iron door back to see inside, Rainbow Dash rushed to look as well. What she saw was utterly mundane.

Several large barrels, filled to the brim with normal-looking grain.

Rainbow Dash squinted her eyes a little bit before sticking her hoof into one of the barrels, “Are they empty? Huh, my hoof feels weird.”

She looked down to see that her hoof had shrunken down to a tenth of its size the very moment it crossed the rim of the barrel.

“Uh, um, uh, Applejack?!” she frantically pulled her limb out of the barrel, breathing a sigh of relief when it returned to normal.

Applejack looked at the barrels before she spoke, “A compression field of some kind. Probably early model,” she looked to the side of the barrel and poked at a small control panel.

“Eeyup, early thirty-seventh century, although it could be refurbished. Only works on live organisms,” she began fiddling with the buttons on the panel.

“Live? But this is dry grain,” Rainbow Dash looked into a barrel.

“Ah told you Rainbow, today we’re rescuing an alien from monsters. Yer lookin’ at the alien.”

“This?! Alien?!” Rainbow Dash pointed her hoof at the grain.

“Think about it. The stuff looks normal size, but you know it’s shrunken down. So it’s actually much bigger than ya think. At least ten times bigger,” Applejack put her ear close to the barrel and whispered, “Listen.”

Rainbow Dash frowned before doing so, placing her ear at the edge of the barrel. It was faint, but she heard it. It sounded like a soft beating sound.

“That’s its heart beating. It’s still alive.”

“But, it’s in pieces.”

“Yeah. And there’s still more of it being taken apart right now, but we can’t stop it. Not yet. We can’t find them.”

“So what now?” Rainbow Dash asked as the two got out of the carriage.

“We call in the Royal Guard. I’ve got a contact in there who’ll probably send this monster ta prison fer smugglin’,” she gestured at the unconscious stallion.

“And then what?”

“We wait, hoping the next one has more clues on him.”

Cheerilee trotted up to the duo and said, “Nothing on him. Might as well send him up to Canterlot. The carriage puller goes to the guard, while the carriage goes to our friends downtown.”

“Friends?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Gilda, among others, up in Canterlot. We’ve got a whole group up there workin’ on this case,” Applejack laid back next to the carriage.

“Maybe I can help you guys next time?”

“If we need ya. Ah sincerely hope we don’t,” Applejack thought back to her plan. Stopping one small shipment isn’t a huge enough message to whoever is employing Strongheart, but maybe I can do something bigger.

--0o0--
April 21, 1619

It was shortly after watching a once-in-a-century meteor shower, and all of the ponies began leaving to return to their homes. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were walking together, as Apple Bloom and Scootaloo ran in front of them.

“You gotta admit, that meteor show was awesome!” Rainbow Dash jumped up and began hovering in the air.

“Yeah, but ah can’t help but feel the last one was better,” Applejack replied.

“Yeah, don’t know about that, but this one looked really good,” Rainbow Dash was still getting used to the fact that one of her best friends was secretly immortal. Even after what happened a few days ago, it was still hard to believe.

After a few moments of random conversation, the two parted. Applejack took Apple Bloom and they both headed back towards the farm. That left Rainbow Dash alone with Scootaloo, who was staring up at the sky.

“Scoots, where’s your mom?”

Scootaloo turned back and looked at Rainbow Dash, “Huh? Oh, she’s either up there,” she pointed her hoof towards the moon, “or she’s at home sleeping off work.”

Scootaloo shrugged, “I could be wrong about both.”

Rainbow Dash was also not used to her number one fan saying increasingly odd statements. She really should ask somepony about that.

“Anyways, Scoots. You know how I said I was going to keep an eye on Applejack? Yeah, there’s no need.”

Scootaloo cocked her head in confusion, “But- ”

“No seriously, trust me when I say there is basically no need to worry. Seriously, she’s trying to do the right thing,” Rainbow reassured her.

“Are you absolutely sure about that?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah,” she tried to explain to her number one fan, “I trust her. She’s saving lives and stuff. It’s all good. Yeah, there might be some incredibly dangerous side effects of whatever she’s doing, but I think it’s going to be alright in the end.”

Scootaloo hesitantly nodded, “Okay. Bye Rainbow Dash.”

The filly turned around and started the trek back home. The thoughts running through her mind were quiet. For the first time, an adult was completely straight with her.

But that nagging feeling she got just thinking about Applejack didn’t go away. Scootaloo knew that just because somepony had good intentions and did good things, it doesn’t always mean they’re a good pony.

--0o0--

April 24, 1619

Dear diary,

An alarm was tripped last night. Someone entered a dragon’s cave somewhere in the Everfree and got chased.

I asked around this morning, and apparently Spike ran away last night because he was jealous of Twilight’s new pet owl. So he wandered into an adult dragon’s cave because he was hungry, which allowed Twi and Owlowiscious to save his flank.

And it happened exactly on schedule. Shortly after a meteor shower (which did not contain alien hardware, so no excitement there), Twilight gets an owl and some stuff happens with Spike that ends up culminating in them all running from a dragon. Somehow.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--

April 29, 1619

Dear diary,

Pinkie Pie scares me. I know she’s a 003, but still. Rainbow told me about what happened right before her surprise party, and I think she’s downplaying it. Luckily, nothing major happened, and her Pinkie Sense didn’t fire off during her birthday party, so another day hidden… in the shadows, wooh.

That creative writing class wasn’t worth horseapples.

Anyways, near the end of Pinkie’s party, we all got together and began discussing our plans for the Gala. Apparently Twilight’s working on a transfiguration spell. Involving mice. As long as she obeys Blueblood’s Law of Conservation of Magic, she’ll be fine.

Speaking of Blue, I wonder what he’s up to. Something about ravens? I reckon I’ll see him at the shindig, and then I’ll laugh while watching Rarity try to seduce him. He’s about as thick as cast iron skillet, so I know the Gala is going to be interesting.

-Captain AJH

--0o0--
April 30, 1619
1:17 AM

The Golden Oak Library was quiet for once. Despite Twilight’s propensity to pull all-nighters, tonight she was sleeping soundly after the tiring birthday party. The entire house-in-a-tree was still, as Owlowiscious had left to scavenge for a meal. Spike was snoozing away in his bed basket, and all was good in the physical world.

In the field of dreams however…

The dream world is an ephemeral realm of magic and dancing blue hues. It is a place where sleeping minds are found, each one creating their own unique world. For the most part, each mind is separate, and the dreams never mix. But a few ponies have the ability to trasverse across this landscape and contact others in a way not even the most powerful psychic can reach without hard effort.

One such pony was Princess Luna. However, due to various reasons, was unable to fully enter the realm of dreams, so Princess Celestia was moving through it instead.

She was slowly gliding through dream world, taking in its deep blue ocean and strange white orbs. She passed by many doors floating in space, each one bearing either a cutie mark or a name. The doors were each unique, with different styles and compositions.

Eventually, Celestia found the two doors she was looking for, a purple one with three diamonds imprinted on it, and a red one with a six-point star. Opening the purple door revealed Canterlot Castle. Inside it was what appeared to be a fantasy version of the Grand Galloping Gala, complete with imaginary guests and Prince Blueblood courting a wonderfully dressed Rarity.

Now this is definitely a dream. Celestia thought. Blue would rather spend his night looking at the remains of the Crystal Star.

As the faux Blueblood gave Rarity a rose of the rarest quality, followed by him doing a 360° twirl and asking for Rarity’s hoof in dance. The dream couple then proceeded to perform a waltz. On the wall. The other guests transformed into alicorns with sharp horns and began playing instruments out of crystals and raspberries. Celestia decided it was best to end the dream before things got weirder.

As everything in the room faded to black, including the dream prince, Rarity looked around in surprise.

Celestia bit her lip slightly before speaking, “Everything is alright, Rarity. It is only me.”

Rarity turned her head at the princess before dream bowing, “Oh! Your highness!”

“I am here to deliver urgent news to both you and Twilight, and it was determined that the dream realm was the most secure place,” Celestia said calmly, “After we exit your dream, we shall enter Twilight’s so that we may talk.”

Rarity nodded, “Okay.”

With a flick her horn, Celestia motioned the door to Rarity’s dreams open. The two white ponies dream walked out and into the hallway of imagination and blueish colors. Before Rarity could react to the majesty before her, Princess Celestia opened Twilight’s door and entered.

Inside was an enormous oak tree, hundreds of feet tall with strange twisting marble spires protruding from its branches. The oak tree itself was housed inside an even larger hall, thousands of feet high, and able to encompass all of Ponyville. The large building was of incredible bookshelves, each one holding tomes bigger than Celestia herself.

And at the very center of it all, sitting down on a balcony of the great tree, was Twilight Sparkle. Even in her dreams, she would rather spend time curled up reading a good book. The only difference here was the pair of feathered wings growing out of her back.

Celestia smiled as she floated up to the balcony. Her magic began to dissolve the dream surroundings, as gigantic books blew away into dust. But Twilight didn’t notice; she was too absorbed in the dream book she was dream reading.

The alicorn princess landed in front of the dream alicorn and crouched over her to see the book being read. Celestia waited a few moments for Twilight to notice, but eventually decided to speak up, “Oh Princess Twilight, alicorn of books, I need to speak with you.”

“Uh huh,” Twilight absently said before looking up. Upon doing so, she yelped out. She stared at Celestia before registering what her mentor had said. Twilight blushed as a faint poofing sound resulted in disappearing wings.

“P-princess! Um, hello! Er, the wings were only for convenience! Having wings and a horn were really good for reading! Not that that’s all being an alicorn is convenient for!”

Twilight kept blustering before Princess Celestia chuckled and took Twilight into her magical aura and pulled her up, “Oh Twilight, it’s alright. If you can’t indulge yourself in your dreams, where can you?”

Celestia’s somewhat cheeky grin made Twilight fluster even more, her face a bright red with steam leaking out of her head.

“Come, Twilight. We must make haste, I do not have much time,” Celestia motioned for Twilight’s door to open, revealing the dream world and Rarity, who had materialized dream paper to dream write on.

Rarity quickly noticed the two other ponies return, and put away her dream notes sheepishly.

The two unicorns sat down next to each other, with the princess in front of them. Celestia began speaking, “As you know, you and the other elements of harmony are attending the Grand Galloping Gala next week, along with many other high profile attendees. You and the other guests might be in trouble.”

“Pardon me, Princess, but what kind of trouble?” Rarity inquired.

Princess Celestia bit her lip before explaining further, “Two days ago, we received an intelligence report. It detailed partially destroyed plans to assassinate somepony attending the Gala,” looking at the horrified faces in front of her, she pressed on, “We have no idea who is being assassinated, by who, or how. All we know is that it is one pony targeted, and that poison will not be used.”

“W-why are you us this? Why not just cancel the Gala?” Rarity quaked.

“Canceling the Gala would probably cause the perpetrator to catch on, and the Guard fears retaliation. We believe that if the Gala is cancelled, dozens would die. I am sorry, but I cannot risk the lives of many for the life of one. I can, however, increase security to its maximum. I am planning on having plainclothes officers in attendance, as well as hidden guards posted throughout the area. Lastly, several of you are going to be paired up with others to minimize attempts.”

Celestia looked at Rarity, “You are going to be accompanying be dear nephew, Prince Blueblood. You seem very fond of him, and I assure you he is an interesting pony.” Beggars can’t be choosers, so I will have to make do with Rarity’s broken heart.

The princess then turned to Twilight, “My faithful student, you shall have to be by my side for the duration of the evening. Is that alright?”

Twilight quickly nodded and smiled sheepishly, “Yes it is.”

“Rainbow Dash will naturally seek out the Wonderbolts, Fluttershy will be with one of my captains, Applejack will be having several professional patrons to her apple cart, and Pinkie Pie will probably just dodge any attempts in a humorous fashion,” Celestia listed off all of the elements, “Oh, and Spike will be followed by one of my special agents, just in case.”

Celestia lowered her head to Twilight’s level, “I am afraid I am out of time, but I will follow up with a letter sent by dragonflame. For now, just act natural. Also, make sure Applejack gets more sleep. I have yet to actually witness any of her dreams, she seems to sleep so little.”

“Uh, yes your highness!” Rarity replied, internally screaming and squeeing at the same time.

“Oh, um goodbye, Princess!” Twilight waved.

“See you soon,” Celestia smiled. Luna! I am finished! We now need to speak with Captain Armor and Mi Amore Cadenza!

A bright light flashed, returning the unicorns to their dreams, while Celestia moved on to other pressing matters.

--0o0--

“Great, an assassination plot. Just great.”

“Applejack, this is serious. I am absolutely sure Strongheart’s employer is up to this. We have to figure out who’s being assassinated.”

“Don’t worry Cheers, ah’ve already gotten some help. A couple o’ friends of mine just happen to be attending the Gala too. If we keep a look out, we might be able to stop it in time.”

“That sounds very hooves off to me.”

“Ah can’t really do much in this case. Way too close to Celestia. Way too close to the Wonderbolts. Guards around every corner. At the most, ah can send messages and communicate in the restroom.”

“I don’t like it. I’m going to be up all night worrying.”

“Nothing to worry about! Immortality is a great boon against assassins, and ah’m gonna exploit every last bit of it.”

Beginning

618 AD (After Discord)
Everfree Castle

Celestia was not amused. No, she was downright furious. In less than a week, her sister had gone from a gentle, loving soul to a genocidal supervillain. The world was plunged into eternal night, and the landscape began to freeze. Celestia had barely been able to stop Nightmare Moon with the Elements of Harmony before any irreversible damage was done.

Worst of all, the Doctor knew all of it was going to happen, and decided to not help. He just watched it unfold while snickering along with that infuriating companion of his. Savior of worlds, and yet he decided not to save one pony.

“For thy non-interference with the event of Nightmare Moon, I banish thee, Doctor of TARDIS, from Equestria! Should thou ever return, thou shalt face the might of the entire Equestrian Army. Now leave, and never return.”

“Wait a minute.”

Standing in front of Celestia was a brown earth pony stallion and a pale yellow earth pony mare. The stallion had an hourglass cutie mark, while the other’s was of a single rose. The mare’s face was contorted in an attempt to hold back a snort. Her eyes were beginning to tear up, as she fought back her urge to laugh. The stallion was snickering as well, with his hoof to face.

The mare held her breath, paused, and continued, “Hold it. So you’re banning him from Equestria for... standing?”

“Nay, Roseluck of Trottingham, the Doctor knew of this event, and decided to not interfere, resulting in my sister’s imprisonment on the moon. He could have stopped her, but decided not to," Princess Celestia glared at the Doctor, whose face remained neutral.

Roseluck just stood, an eyebrow raised, “But this was supposed to happen, I mean he saves the day a lot, but your sister will return. Haven't you ever heard of the prophecy? On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will-”

The Doctor brought his hoof up and covered Roseluck’s mouth, “Don’t tell her, Rose. This is a fixed point. I couldn’t change this even if I tried. Celestia, you were lucky I stopped Luna from bombing Zebrica.”

Celestia’s eye twitched in rage, “Says the one who stopped Discord. You know of many prophecies, and yet you gallivant across time, helping only those you perceive to be in flux. If history says nay, then thou agrees.”

“Celestia, I’ve told you before that certain events cannot be changed, Discord is a point in time that fluctuates wildly. But this time with your sister, I could not intervene, only watch. Just be on the look out for the prophecy. It will explain everything. That is all I can say.”

“Get out.”

“I beg you pardon?”

“GET OUT!" Celestia screamed with all her might.

“Very well. Roseluck, let’s go to 1376, I hear they have good scones in a nice bakery in Los Pegasus," the Doctor said to his companion.

"Okay, let's go. Princess?" Roseluck looked at the new monarch, "Just remember that your sister will return one day. It will be many years, time will pass and empires will rise and fall, but she will come back. And it will be one of the best days of your life. Until then, have faith."

As the two earth ponies made their leave, Celestia’s face continued to darken. With great sorrow and anger, she turned herself towards her advisors.

“This is a day for mourning, in my sister’s anger, almost five hundred ponies perished in the ensuing battle. Therefore, I proclaim that every year on this day, a new holiday representing the tale of Nightmare Moon shall be created," Celestia decreed.

“Very well, your highness," said a bespeckled pegasus.

“Also, with this past day and night, I have learned that Equestria can no longer rely on the Doctor for help. In truth, he has been selecting in what he interferes in, and we cannot trust the one who nearly let Nightmare Moon kill all of Equestria.

“That is why I propose an institute. In memory of the fallen soldiers Bright Torch and Woodstock, on this eve of the six hundred and eighteenth year the creation of a new branch of the military, equal in standing to the Wonderbolts and the Royal Guard.

“In honor of Commander Bright Torch and Lieutenant Woodstock, I name it Torchwood... the Torchwood Institute! For now we must protect ourselves on all sides. The east from Dragons and Griffons, the North from Sombra, the West from Zebras, the South from Changelings, and the below from Diamond Dogs. Now we must also protect from above-”

Celestia abruptly looked towards the moon and the stars. The newly formed mare on the moon stared back, “And should my sister - or the Doctor - ever return, we’ll be ready for them! They shall face a new enemy, one that was developed just for them.”

--0o0--

999 years and 362 days later
Sweet Apple Acres

For nearly one thousand years, Celestia’s secret paramilitary organization prepared for the inevitable return of Nightmare Moon and/or the Doctor. It was just three days until the Summer Sun Celebration, and Applejack was busy organizing the catering of the event, along with most of her family.

Despite being both the oldest and the youngest member of her clan, she was still sometimes treated with the respect of a teenager fresh out of high school. This was probably due to her appearance, looking like an average earth pony in her early twenties. Occasionally, it bothered her, but at least it got her out of trouble on a regular basis.

Her job after all, required her to get into trouble very often. Protecting Equestria from certain “potentially dangerous individuals” was hard work. She was the leader of Torchwood Seven, located above the Ponyville Rift that extends across the town into the Everfree forest and towards the gates of Tartarus. Her name was Captain Applejack Harkness, and she was preparing.

Two years before the Summer Sun Celebration, she discovered the book “Predictions and Prophecies” and had since predicted the exact day Nightmare Moon would appear. Now, with only three days left, she had to practice.

A rope.
A chair.
A notebook.
A stopwatch.

The rope wrapped around her neck, tied in a noose. She closed her eyes and tightened her grip. Then she jumped.Then she passed out. Within three minutes, her heart stopped. Her brain shut off and all of her cells began to die.

And then she woke up.

With a gasp of air, she fell backwards, slamming into the floor. Her face showed a mix of confusion and bewilderment, she squinted and stood up. Her eyes leveled with a stopwatch on her bed. She glanced at it and noted the time.

“Four minutes and 22 seconds, my best time yet," she said with a smirk, “Nightmare Moon won’t know what’ll hit her.”

--0o0--

June 17, 1618

Dear Diary,

My name is Applejack Harkness. Today I just bought you to replace my old one after I ran out of space, so I dub you “Applejack’s Diary No. 157”. You have a long legacy to keep up, so don’t tell ANYPONY what I write in here.

Let’s start with the basics. I was born on the Boeshane peninsula, I am 475 years old, I am basically immortal, and I buck apples for a living. In my spare time, I participate in rodeos, play the fiddle, and hunt aliens.

Let’s get something straight, this is 100% confidential, so don’t let Applebloom read this. Seriously, don’t. I don’t know why I keep getting you diaries, but I every four or five years, somebody finds out. When Big Mac found and read No. 152, he totally freaked out, and I just know that if Applebloom were to read this, it would jeopardize my literal existence. (Time travel, yadda-yadda yadda, I’ll explain later.)

But enough about that, I’m here to write down my practice results.

Death by Hanging: 25 times (22 for practice). Quickest revival: 4 min., 22 seconds
Death by drowning (Freshwater): 38 (35 for practice). QR: 3 min., 40 sec.
Death by Overeating (non poisonous): 2 times for practice QR: 9 min., 5 sec.
Death by boredom: 1 time by accident. QR: 1 hour, 18 min., 16 sec.
Death by electrocution: 44 times (8 by Ditzy) (20 for practice). QR: 2.6 sec.
Death by Magic blast: 104 (31 for practice). QR: 6.03 sec.
Death by instant heart attack: 67 (65 for practice). QR: 3.6 sec.

So yeah, very productive day. Tomorrow, I’ll finish up the preparations for the Princess (must avoid eye contact or else I might shoot her in rage) to arrive here, and probably begin searching for the Elements of Harmony when I can. Wish me luck!

-Captain AJH

Author's Note

Edited: 6/16/2014

Applejack's Cereal (Killer)

Excerpts from True History by LHS.

...There are many hidden aspects of Equestrian history that will reach the light of day. Pre Celestial time is filled with many inconsistencies in the dating system. The terms After Discord and Before Celestia have a period of history between them that, to this day, remain unrecorded. In fact, 0 AD and 1 BC are actually spaced fifty-three years apart.

This error in calendar records is not limited to only calendars, but to most diaries and catalogs of the period. The lost fifty-three, as it is called by most historians, is a timespan where 99.9999% of all records mysteriously vanished. What is known however, was the occurrence of the first Equestrian civil war, wherein five of the six founders were hanged as war criminals. The sixth founder, Smart Cookie, vanished without a trace. All records of Smart Cookie, except for three diaries, were destroyed during the fifty-three.

Some believe this disruption of record keeping caused by the rise and fall of Discord, but this argument is inherently flawed. The records were destroyed before Discord became Equestria’s ruler. What caused this disappearance? Are there any more records remaining? Why were the records destroyed? We will attempt to summarize, explain, rationalize and answer these questions throughout this book, as one can figure out that...

...We will never know the whole truth. The truth has different meanings to different ponies and for truth to exist, we must be honest. Nopony was ever honest when they recorded history. It is always biased, modified, exaggerated, or “politely” excluded from the archives.

A good example is the Canterlot Royal Library is the most extensive historical archive in the world, and yet it has only one journal from the lost fifty-three, and no records on the Rise of Nightmare Moon, despite having over two hundred witnesses. It can be easily concluded from this error that Princess Celestia took an active role in the censorship of Equestrian history.

There is more evidence of her tampering. The most obvious example can be found in a story everypony (and donkey, mule, some buffalo, and one or two dragons) has seen or heard at least once: The Tale of Hearthwarming’s Eve. The example I use is from the Canterlot play fifth edition, which shows the modification in broad daylight.

It is traditional for an actor, when playing the roles of the founders, to portray their roles using a bit of themselves. This is not because the founders and their message of fraternity, equality, and whatnot can be found in anypony that plays them, as Princess Celestia claimed in response to 1544’s controversial edition of the play.

In 1544, the role of Private Pansy was played by former slightly deranged heiress, Mareis Hilton. She showed up once to the rehearsals, and then did not appear until the third act of the play while it was showing, completely drunk on her hooves, wearing the helmet and saucy footwear. She then continued to act, very poorly, drawing out her half remembered lines, then puked on the actor portraying Princess Platinum. The other five actors began improvising, ending the play in a way similar to the original, with the exception of Private Pansy knocking out a windigo with her bare hooves.

Princess Celestia’s comment on this was a purposeful attempt draw attention to Hilton’s bad acting and away from the true debate: “Why are there no records of the founders of Equestria?” Another, more obvious example is the usage of the Diarchy (Yin Yang Princesses Sun and Moon hippy style) flag at the end of the play. Celestia and Luna did not appear in Equestria for over fifty years after Equestria’s founding, right?...

...History is rife with mistakes, the existence of Star Swirl the Bearded’s Time travel spells prove the possibility of rewriting history. If a pony can time travel, they can alter whatever they want, to their own goals, whether we want it or not. That is the true history of Equestria, irresponsible, reckless, time travelers rewriting history for their own purposes, not giving horse apples about the collateral damage that ensues.

-Lyra Heartstrings, PhD.

--0o0--

October 31, 1618 AD

Nightmare Night, that one time of year where everybody in Equestria gets to dress up in ridiculous costumes, give out free candy, and have fun playing carnival games. For some unknown reason, the night sky appeared darker than usual, the clouds seemed more menacing, and all the trees gave off a spooky vibe.

Normally, this night would have Applejack donning the scarecrow costume she got off of Brother of Mine’s semi-dead body, but instead this year, she was wearing her memorable “Serial Killer Stopping World War Two Style” long coat. When asked why she wore it whenever armor or stealth suit was a better option, she always replied “‘Cause it’s awesome.”

Cheerilee was dressing up as Count Dracula, with a black cape, fake plastic fangs, and red contact lenses. Vinyl Scratch was still in town, dressed as herself, all her mechanical parts showing. She even added a fake robot moustache to liven up her costume.

The three mares met each other at the outskirts of Sweet Apple Acres, just before sundown. Applejack was sitting on top of her fence, looking as badass as a pony could get on Nightmare Night. When Cheerilee and Vinyl arrived, they gave Applejack a couple of stern looks.

Applejack smiled, “Let’s get started.”

--0o0--

Alright, let me tell the two of you something about time travel. It is the most dangerous kind of travel in the universe, and it comes hoof in hoof with space travel. When I time traveled back in the old days, I always knew where known fixed points in time were.

This is one of them. Today, Neighsayer dies, and we can’t change that. Or can we? That book cataloguing every serial killer for the next two hundred years, it also documented the fixed point deaths of the coming centuries. The author didn’t know it, but that book has allowed me to change history for the better.

Right now, we go to Neighsayer’s house and talk to him. Then I’ll show you guys the great loophole of time travel.

--0o0--

The trio walked to the other side of Ponyville, to 15 Wind Street, the home of Neighsayer. The house itself was a simple one-story abode, made out of a light tan brick and had a shingled roof. In other words, it was normal. Little did the lone occupant of this building know, but tonight would be the last night he would ever spend in his home.

Neighsayer was a normal, albeit abrasive, pegasus. He had a bright purple mane, with a light tan coat, similar to the coloring of his house. He had a cutie mark of a megaphone with an angry-looking mouth on it. His special talent was denouncing things, and as such, was a critic for the Ponyville Express.

One month ago, he wrote an unflattering article about the Ponyville spa. He pointed out every single flaw about the establishment, from the worn out tiles, to the damaged heating system of the sauna, and even the exact components in the mud bath. A lot of which resulted in a significant turndown in business.

He made a lot of enemies in the town, from the market stalls to Barnyard Bargains. If he went missing, the suspect list would be huge. In fact, the only businesses in town that he didn’t piss off were the Sweet Apple Acres, Carrot Palooza Farms, and Sugarcube Corner. In fact, his only friends were his coworkers, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie ,and he usually tried to avoid Pinkie Pie.

In two hours, he would be dead. At the very least, Applejack wanted Neighsayer’s last moments alive to be enjoyable. Applejack considered him a friend, and despite his rough personality, he showed signs of a deep understanding how businesses worked, and when he pointed them out, a lot of businesses fixed their problems, and became better off because of it.

He was something of a connoisseur, coming from the upper parts of Fillydelphia, and always was good at finding problems. It was just in his nature. Originally, he wanted to be an inspector, but later found a knack for writing, and decided to become a journalist in a newspaper. Ponies hated him, but he was only doing his job.

Applejack, Cheerilee, and Vinyl Scratch arrived there around six o’clock. They rang the doorbell, and waited. After only a minute, the door opened, revealing the soon-to-be-unlucky stallion.

“Eh? Who is it? I’m very busy right now, I’ve got to judge some costumes, then hoof out some prizes to a bunch of kids. Then I have to go to that disgusting spa for some reason. What do you want, Applejack? What are you doing here?” Neighsayer asked, his face showing signs of irritation.

“Ah’m sorry ta bother ya, but- Vinyl NOW!” Applejack screamed.

Vinyl Scratch struck Neighsayer from behind, knocking him out.

--0o0--

Three mares dressed as a vampire, cyborg and leather clad biker were walking down a road carrying an unconscious stallion on Nightmare Night. He will be dead in less than six hours. This is not a joke.

“Stop doing that! Keep him balanced on your back!”

“Why am I carrying him? He’s crushing me, and I’ve lost all feeling in my upper back!” Vinyl Scratch whined as her legs began trembling.

“You’re fidgeting! He’s going to fall!” Cheerilee said with worry.

“This is not what I signed up for, you here me?! I did not join Torchwood to carry dead weight like a workhorse!” Vinyl Scratch cried out.

“Quit yer bellyachin’! We’re about ta save a life here! Now just keep walking,” Applejack urged.

“Arrgh, fine. But I expect overtime for this,” Vinyl Scratch begrudgingly said. She began gritting her teeth.

“Ya’ll have zero taxes, an unlimited credit account, and you want overtime? Well hay no!” Applejack responded.

“I’m surprised we were able to walk two miles without anypony seeing us,” Cheerilee remarked, “I can’t believe we haven’t run into any foals yet on some stupid dare-”

“Howdy Miss Cheerilee!” the sound of a young filly filled the air as Cheerilee silently cursed to herself. Applejack and Vinyl, on the other hand (hoof?), were frantically hiding Neighsayer’s limp body under a large blanket.

The origin of the voice was none other than Apple Bloom, who was galloping closer to her “sister”. Apple Bloom was dressed as a large peacock, complete with a beautiful display of blue and green feathers. She was closely followed from behind by an orange pegasus filly dressed in brightly colored spandex.

“Hey, Miss Cheerilee! Heeyy… Applejack. Uh, what. Um, I mean, huh?” Scootaloo began, but was cut short as she looked at the way Applejack was dressed. Something in the filly’s mind went click! as soon as she saw that outfit. Her gaze continued into a full blown stare, until Apple Bloom decided to break the awkwardness.

“Err, Applejack, Miss Cheerilee! What’re you two doin’ out here? Who’s yer friend?” Apple Bloom gestured to Vinyl Scratch.

Scootaloo snapped out of her gaze, only to look at the reformed Cyberpony, this time, her mind went Bang! Get away! NOW! as she took in the oddly familiar figure. Scootaloo’s pupils shrank to pinpricks as her brain began connecting dots, rebuilding bridges, a flood of half-remembered memories appearing.

Her! I’ve seen her before, somewhere in my mind. And Applejack too! Right? No wait, that could’ve been anypony in a long black coat, right? She just happens to be dressed in a long coat for Nightmare Night! She couldn’t possibly be- Scootaloo’s inner monologue was cut short when Apple Bloom nudged her.

“Scoots, stop starin’, it’s gettin’ weird!” Apple Bloom kept poking Scootaloo with a long fake peacock feather, trying to get some sense of recognition out, “C’mon, yer freaking out Applejack’s friend. And Cheerilee.”

Scootaloo blinked a few times and shook her head. Cheerilee awkwardly shifted on her hooves as Vinyl tried to shift the weight closer to Cheerilee. Applejack had a look of slight amusement when she finally said, “We’re just meetin’ somepony out near the Everfree, what’re you doin’ here, Apple Bloom?”

Apple Bloom stopped poking Scootaloo as she remembered what Applejack had asked, “Oh, uh, we were out here for, uh, Trick-or-Treatin’!”

“Apple Bloom, don’t ya’ll lie ta me now, there ain’t no houses out here.”

“We’re looking fer witches?”

“Apple Bloom,” Applejack began chiding with her tone.

Apple Bloom looked to the ground and sighed, “Alright, we were supposed ta go to the Everfree forest ta catch a manticore as a dare.”

“Ya know that’s dangerous, right?”

“Yeah, but if Fluttershy of all ponies could take one down, ah’m sure so could the both of us!” Apple Bloom motioned towards herself and Scootaloo, who just continued staring at Vinyl Scratch.

Applejack closed her eyes, took a few breaths, and opened them again before speaking, “Apple Bloom, just go back. It’s too dangerous out here, and there is no way you can beat a manticore in a fair fight.”

“That’s why ah’m a peacock!” Apple Bloom smiled, “Ah’ll tickle him with mah feathers until he’s down, then we’ll use Scootaloo’s Mistress Mare-velous lasso to tie him up!”

Applejack facehoofed and said, “That is not going to work. Go home, or I’ll git you two home mahself.”

“She’s right, Apple Bloom,” Cheerilee said, “Manticores can’t be tickled, you would just make it angry.”

Applejack motioned the two back in the other direction and added, “Besides, Fluttershy didn’t beat a manticore, she just made it happy by removin’ a splinter.”

“Okay, Applejack, bye Miss Cheerilee and, err…” Apple Bloom stalled, trying to remember the white pony’s name.

“Oh! Forgot to introduce you three. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo, this is mah friend Vinyl Scratch, she’s a DJ in Canterlot. Vinyl, this is mah little sister Apple Bloom and her friend, Scootaloo,” Applejack made gestures at the three ponies.

Vinyl Scratch smiled and held out her hoof to Apple Bloom, “Nice to meet you, Apple Bloom. Applejack’s said a lot of good things about you, I hope we can get to know each other better later.”

Apple Bloom took Vinyl’s hoof and shook it, “Ah hope so too, Vinyl Scratch. How ‘bout you, Scoot- Scootaloo?”

Scootaloo was sitting down, squinting hard before opening her eyes, “Huh? Oh, yeah, nice to meet you too, Vinyl Scratch.”

Scootaloo got back up and began walking back towards the town, “Come on Apple Bloom, let’s go back for the, uh, costume contest.”

“Sure Scoots, but what about the manticore?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Yeah, it’s too dangerous, let’s just go,” Scootaloo said as the two fillies began walking to town square.

After the mares were out of earshot, Apple Bloom asked Scootaloo earnestly, “Does this have anything ta do with yer nightmares?”

Scootaloo didn’t say anything, as her mind just began thinking. Scootaloo gulped as her gut instinct combined with her subconscious. It’s her. She’s dangerous. Applejack and that mare are hiding something. Something dangerous. Be afraid. This is just the beginning.

Scootaloo hoped that the beginning wasn’t for a long time.

--0o0--

After the two fillies had walked out of earshot, Vinyl collapsed onto the ground, “Aargh! Get him off, it hurts!”

Neighsayer rolled onto the ground, his unmoving body splayed out haphazardly. Vinyl Scratch stood back up as she began stretching her back. Cheerilee and Applejack started to pull Neighsayer up, but could barely get his front end above the dirt road.

“Whoa nelly, he is heavy!” Applejack grunted as she pulled the stallion’s hoof into the air. She wrestled the body until his left shoulder was draped over her neck. Cheerilee went to the other shoulder and motioned him up.

“Applejack, next time, we are bringing a cart. This is ridiculous,” Cheerilee huffed out as the weight of the unconscious pony bore down on her.

Vinyl pulled up the back hooves and said, “I got the back, you guys just start moving him into the forest.”

The other mares just nodded as they all began steadily moving forward. Within the hour, they reached the Everfree forest towards their destination.

--0o0--

Deep within the Everfree was an underground cavern whose powers were believed to defy the laws of magic itself. Nothing had ever been discovered to be like it, and of course when it was found, Torchwood claimed it. Ever since the Battle of Canary Wharf five years ago, Applejack came into the possession of one of the most powerful artifacts in the history of the world: the Mirror Pool.

As the three mares and one stallion reached the entrance to the cavern, Applejack laid down Neighsayer in front of the hole. Cheerilee and Vinyl decided to do the same, when Cheerilee asked, “How are we going to get him-”

Applejack pushed Neighsayer into the hole, then jumped in after him.

“-in to the... hole. Hmm. Oh well, Geronimo!” Cheerilee jumped in there as well, followed by Vinyl Scratch, who took running start before diving head first.

All four ponies bounced around the inside tunnel before skidding out onto the floor of the cavern. Cheerilee and Vinyl slowly got up, feeling aches in their backs and hooves after the bumpy roll.

Applejack seemed completely unfazed, as she looked around the cave, at the plants growing and the circular pond of water in the center. She took a deep breath and stared towards a bush and yelled, “Ah know yer here! Get out ‘fore I knock ya into next Tuesday!”

Cheerilee and Vinyl looked at Applejack with confusion, wondering what she was talking about. Before long, they all heard a rustling of the nearby foliage as cloaked figure appeared.

The figure removed her hood, revealing a familiar zebra. Applejack glared at Zecora as she started speaking, “We had a deal. No interference, Ah don’t mess with you, ya don’t mess with me. Or do ya got some premonition fer me?”

Zecora stared back at the orange mare, then she began to reply, “You must understand, you cannot stop his death, just go back home, and save your breath. If what I believe is true, what you are planning will be your undoing. Is this what you learned from your time with the Doctor Who, or is it something more you are pursuing?”

“Doctor Who? Who is she talking about?” Cheerilee asked.

“Nobody ya need ta know about, Cheerilee. Double fer you, Vinyl,” Applejack replied.

Vinyl gaped and whined, “Aww, but I didn’t even ask! I wanna meet the Who Doctor! He sounds like an old crotchety stallion with a cane living on a tiny flower, and then an elephant picks him up and talks to him!”

Everybody stared at Vinyl as her ramblings became more nonsensical. She stopped and blushed, “Sorry everypony, my imagination matrix must be malfunctioning.”

“Right, well, Zecora, we are fulfilling all the fixed point’s requirements. There will be no paradox when ah’m done, and nothin’s gonna go wrong.”

Zecora closed her eyes and sighed, “While I do not agree with your choice, I will not stop you three. I am but one voice. Simply… time’s referee.”

“Are ya tired? Yer rhymes aren’t very coherent,” Applejack answered.

“Very much so, now I must go. I can feel the weight of reality on that pony’s shoulders, and wish to leave this matter to a pony much wiser and older,” Zecora began to leave.

“Wait you mean Applejack? This is a grown mare who gets excited over redecorating an underground lair! Are you sure you’re okay with leaving this pony’s life in her hooves?” Vinyl Scratch asked with surprising seriousness.

“Let’s just say, I know she has found a way to save the day,” Zecora replied as she left the cavern.

After a couple minutes of awkward silence, Cheerilee asked, “So what are going to now?”

Applejack smiled and began to speak.

--0o0--

What is a time paradox? It is when you screw up history and cause bad stuff to happen. Imagine you went back in time and killed your father before he met your mother. What happens to you? Do you fade away, or will time stop you from killing him? Or will reality itself collapse because it doesn’t know what to do?

Today, Neighsayer dies. I know because it was written in a book published in my time. But if I stop this murder, then it would have never happened. It would never have been written in the book, which I never would have read, so I wouldn’t have stopped it, so the murder does happen and was written in the book, which I read and stopped, so that… et cetera, et cetera.

We are going to skip all that. We are going to let this murder happen, but at the same time allow Neighsayer to live. How? Well, we do have the Mirror Pool with us...

--0o0--

November 1, 1618
7:25 AM
The Mirror Pool Cavern

“So. I’m dead. Like, dead. As in, nopony I know will ever see me again, and everypony I know will mourn me when they find the body,” the bright tan pegasus stated sadly.

“Yeah, that’s about the gist of it,” Applejack replied. The two of them were sitting down beside the magical pond of water, talking to each other like old friends mourning a third friend. The sun had just begun to rise, bringing forth a new day.

“Let me guess, you are going to put me in some sort of witness protection program, shuttle me off to some remote region of Equestria to live the rest of my days in obscurity. I am to never contact my friends or family, and can only trust you and those two,” he mimed Cheerilee and Vinyl, “Are those two dating or something? They look really into each other.”

Applejack laughed a little, “No, they’re not, the’ve only just met the other day.”

“They seemed to really hit it off then,” he smiled a little.

“Ya seem ta be takin’ this well,” Applejack remarked.

“No, I’m not. My killer got away with killing a clone of me, and won’t caught for another eight years. I am terrified that beneath the facade of equestria, there lies a hidden world, filled with Cyborgs and time travel. I am depressed that my future legacy is a footnote in a book about the mare that killed me because I pointed out the safety and health violations in the building,” Neighsayer continued ranting.

“I built up my fame a little bit at a time, I was going places! Last month, I accepted a position for the Trans-Equestrian Chronicle! That’s like the best newspaper in Boeshane province, but now I’m going to live in a hick town that’s even more hick than Ponyville! That’s like out in the middle of nowhere, with nothing to do, and I’m going to go write under an assumed name that sounds more ridiculous than ‘Neighsayer’.

“Everypony thinks I’m dead, and I really am. My life is over, and I’m just going to go pick up the pieces. But guess what? All the pieces will be held in police custody as soon as somepony notices I’m missing. I’m just stuck. Nowhere to go, not a thing to my name. Oh, and I’m going to play a part in your weird cosmic game to decide the fate of the universe or whatever. You know, fate of reality and all that.”

Applejack grimaced before she finally replied, “That’s all true, but don’t worry. Neighsayer died last night, but ya get ta start over. Build up a new personality, a new life with a new name. Ya don’t even need a disguise. Just a stetson.”

Neighsayer raised an eyebrow, “What are you saying?”

Applejack looked towards the horizon and merely asked, “Tell me Newspeak, have ya ever been ta Appleloosa?”

--0o0--

November 8, 1618

Scootaloo woke up sweating the Ganges River. Her heart was beating a light year a minute, and was inhaling a oxygen at an unpredictable rate, with every breath she inhaled the mass of several rabbits worth of oxygen. She sat up and groaned again. This was the fourth time in a month that she had that nightmare.

For some reason, she kept dreaming of bunnies, followed by strange clanking noises and and beeping sounds. Then a metal pony appeared, surrounded by what appeared to be floating salt shakers, followed by a baseball bat and explosions. After that, she saw her mother with a phone booth, and strangely, everything smelled of roses.

But ever since Nightmare Night, ever since she saw Applejack and that unicorn mare, Vinyl Scratch, something sparked within her mind. Every time she had that dream, she saw Applejack near the phone booth and Vinyl Scratch as the metal pony. She tried shaking it off, but the nightmare kept returning.

She sighed and faced her ceiling. The nightmare was gone, but she had the feeling it had once been reality...

Author's Note

Alternate Titles:
Applejack the Ripper
Dragging a body 101
The Almost Ponies
Dexter with a happy ending
Murder, Cloning, and Applejack

FINALLY. DONE. That took forever. I only watched two episodes of Dexter, 4.5 seasons of Bones and most of Psych, so my serial killer knowledge is limited. This idea has been stewing in my mind for almost six months, and I wondered if such a thing was possible.

Anyways, I'm back, and I've already started chapter nine, which is way easier, so hopefully that will be on time.
In the past month, I published two more stories, The Doctor Dash and Everypony Loves Bloomberg, which are good reads (in my totally biased opinion).

TDD is a Doctor Whooves fic starring Rainbow Dash as the Doctor, and ELB is a crack ship random thing with giant robots.

Also, I believe CAJH will have a total of about 25 chapters plus an epilogue, so I'm almost 1/3 done.

I'm thinking about blogging some stuff about CAJH later, so maybe look forward to that!