There are some days when I truly wish for better things. After what happened last week with that demon-faced ex-girlfriend of mine, nothing has been the same. I can’t concentrate in class anymore, knowing that I once loved her and she enslaved our entire student body. How she used me during all those years, and then tried to hurt someone who meant more than than anything to me. It’s the fact that she actually made that person her enemy, wrecking hundreds of lives that day and turning some of us against one another. So many relationships have been hampered. Couples don’t look at each other with the same burning passion. Friends only stare at one another. They glare, and then they walk away. The school is still here, but the love is gone.
Repairmen and plumbers have been working all across campus, fixing the computer systems and pipes. The main hall is being rebuilt since Sunset Shimmer tore off the front entrance in her demon form. Nobody feels the same since they were possessed. Since then, the girl responsible is still on campus - she was the person they voted Princess of the Fall Formal every year. Snips and Snails even transformed into gargoyles of some sort alongside her, and have now become every bully’s favorite victim. Occasionally, I’ll walk by them in the halls as they’re thrown against their lockers by a group of bigger guys, crying out for help, and I won’t say anything. They deserved it, those fucking traitors. They worked with an evil girl to stalk a new student all over the school. I can’t rationalize those two boys’ behaviors, and I tense up, ready to join in on the assaults myself. However, I know better. The attackers are always caught by a teacher and escorted to Principal Celestia or Luna’s office. Without any restraint, I could be suspended or expelled like them.
Elsewhere, everyone just stares at Sunset Shimmer with scorn, furrowing their eyebrows as they pass by her. Girls gossip about her in front of her face, laughing before remembering what she did. They lift their chins and strut away in their cliques. They exclude her whenever she asks to join them, whispering comments I can never quite hear. Then she looks at me, right into my blue irises. Flash Sentry, he is my ex-boyfriend. Doesn’t he still have some feelings for me? I’m a changed girl living a changed life. Why does he only glance at me with no words?
And sometimes, this is what I ask myself, even as I’m looking out of the window. I focus on the empty quad area, watching the leaves as they hover in the wind, following the students who are late or ditching class. I see a few couples smiling and kissing and wonder if things would change if I ever said something to that fiery red-head. Maybe all the teasing would stop, and everything would go back to normal. Heck, her narcissism is gone, and everything would be a thousand times better. But the idea of getting close to her again disturbs me. Would I be bullied alongside her? Would things actually turn out to be worse? It’s at these times I reluctantly realize I should let things just slowly calm down on their own.
Wait, calm down? If that’s the case, then...what’s this voice yelling my name?
I try pushing these discomforting thoughts away as I feel my head drifting further to the window. My awareness of the world fades, my eyelids close. The voice calls again. Thrice, the shouting thrusting me back into full consciousness, jumping in my seat. My instincts shove my face up and forward before I groggily search around for the source of the noise, seeing all of my classmates giggling in their seats. I glance past a dark pink-skinned woman with pink hair, and then my eyes fall back to her and focus. I recognize her, before I recall where I am: a classroom, where one hundred and ten percent attention is required. Ms. Cheerilee stares down at me with glasses on the tip of her nose. Her finger points meaningfully at the book open on her desk. As the tittering in the back of my head continues, I groan (inwardly) and pull my own book out. I know that Ms. Cherilee isn’t going to take anyone’s attitude today.
“Flash Sentry, can you please read us the question at the top of page thirty-four?” she orders, drumming her fingers on the desk.
“Uhhh… Yes ma’am.” I flip it open to that page. To my right, a distinctly chipper laugh stands out. I look to my side, and there, sitting with her hand on her chin and smirking, possessing the fluffiest cotton-candy hair I’ve ever seen in my life, is Pinkie Pie. She’s looking at me, then shifting back forward, probably hoping I wouldn’t notice. Sly girl. She was always attentive to somebody when they were least expecting it.
I hear my name ring throughout the room a fourth time. I have been spacing out, my mind still thinking about Pinkie Pie. God, it might be great to get to know her. I’m thinking too many things.
“Oh, sorry,” I respond. Pinkie laughs again. “It says…”
Putting my finger down below the text, I traced the words while reading them out loud. They don’t make sense to me. I can’t concentrate if my life depended on it. My brain is still running at a thousand thoughts per second, none of which pertain to the understanding the book. At this point, the words are just black ink slapped onto a page. Have I ever truly been in class? I mean, my body was here. That’s about it.
I finish the paragraph, and I have no idea what I just said. I look up, and oh, goddamnit, Ms. Cheerilee’s still staring at me. She wants an answer. Just great.
“Well, Flash? Can you explain to the class?”
“Uh…”
Something vibrates in my pocket. I look down without shifting my arms to see a white square of light glowing in my pants. Reaching my hand in to grab the plastic device inside, I make out the blurry name ‘Rarity.’ Jeez, there’s five minutes before the bell, and she has to call me now. I guess she got out early, but couldn’t she wait?
I tap the ‘Reject’ button, moving my elbow only enough so that it would take some stalker with Pinkie’s level of craziness to notice. And guess who I sense watching me?
“Flash?” Cherilee asks, stealing my attention again.
“Oh, uh, sorry again,” I said, looking up at her for only half a second. “Well, I think-”
Another vibration. Fuck.
I stand straight up, knocking my desk forward with my knees as they strike it. I watch the table tip forward in slow-motion, and catches in some girl’s hair. She winces as I whisper an apology in her ear. Everybody turned around to me in shock. I shoot Ms. Cherilee a glance as her face literally turns red with rage. Amazing what a pink face can do.
“Sorry, teach,” I say, standing up again and clutching the phone in my pocket. “I have an emergency phone call to make.”
“You can wait until after class, Mr. Sent-”
“See ya!”
Twisting around, I dash off towards the back of the classroom and turn to my left towards the door, ignoring the outcries from any kids I brushed up against. Shoving it open, I run down the hallway, looking around at the lockers and classes alongside me. A few other students are walking up and down the halls, holding their cell phones and tapping their screens. They watch me as I brush by them, some of them asking me what my problem was. I ignore them, concentrating on sprinting. Everyone always somehow knew what Flash Sentry did, especially if it involved a girl.
Especially if it involved Rarity.
I know where the restroom is. I seek out the turn I need to make. My phone’s no longer buzzing. I make a sharp right, skidding along the tiles to face a dark corridor where the lights at the end are burnt out. Underneath them’s a brown door with a white male stick figure engraved in it. I dash again, perking my ears to ensure Ms. Cherilee didn’t send anyone after me. The halls were soundless, besides my footsteps.
I grab the door’s handle and push it down, leaning against the door as I walk inside. The buzzing of the bathroom lights greets me, flicking on one-by-one. Trudging ahead, I can see the stall at the end wide open while I listen for the closing of the bathroom door behind me. It came a few seconds later with a creaking. Jeez, I hope that’s the only loud sound I’ll get to hear for a while.
I reach into my pocket and yank out my phone. The screen lights up, and there are two missed calls from Rarity. Did she take eating lunch out with me just once that seriously?
“What the hell,” I curse, pressing the button to return her call. Grabbing the stall’s door, I shut it as I bring the phone up to my ear with my other hand, listening to the dialing. It rings and rings and rings until sweat drips down my face. Then a rustling, and a quiet feminine voice speaks crazily. It tells her friend to wait and a dog to shutup. She will help them again in a second after answering a phone call.
“Hello?” the voice asks.
“You called?”
“Huh? Oh, yes...Flash.” Jeez, I didn’t know someone could talk with such sternness, other than a teacher. The people at this place, and what the destruction has done to their minds.
“Yeah, it’s me. You…” I trail off, noticing the scraped wooden walls around me, “...kinda called me at a bad time. Ms. Cherilee really doesn’t like me now.”
“I’m sure. Wait a second…” She falls silent as long as I had. I guess she realizes I was speaking out loud with no other voices around me. “...don’t tell me you left class just to return my call?”
“Yeah… I didn’t know what else to do. Usually, you have something urgent to tell me, and with things the way they have been over the past week, I thought it might be serious.”
“You just wanted to get out of class!”
“Lately, I haven’t been able to get along with that teacher, and you called before the bell rang. So, what’s up?”
“Urgh…” She pauses. No sound. “You’re a rebel, you know that? Well, anyway, it was something pretty important. At least, I think it was. You see, I happened to see that girl, Twilight, as I was walking to class, and…”
My eyes go wide. I lose my train of thought, entering a new one as Rarity’s voice moves further and further away. It doesn’t matter that the phone is still in the same place. I can’t hear it. The remembrance of that beautiful lavender girl when she played with her hair, always sticking her knee out when her eyes flicked towards me, meeting mine, and then dashing away takes over my brain. It was magic. Pure, unadulterated magic. The full image of her in her purple dress during that last night, wearing that magnificent crown and unlocking Sunset Shimmer’s chains on my mind, summoning back the euphoria I once felt and taking me to another world of the deepest, most intrinsic emotions. Knowing there’s nothing she can’t conquer, that we saved each other’s lives twice. Knowing that evil could never defeat us, no matter how hard it tried. I know we shared the same nervous feelings each time we met in the halls or nearby stores. The passion that was always missing in my life was finally there. I could sense it, as rarely as I ever feel something so captivating. There were three words we wanted to speak the last time we met, but after that night of the Fall Formal, she was gone, returning to her world of ‘Equestria.’
But now Rarity claims the girl of my dreams is back.
“...and then I told Fluttershy about how rude Applejack can be, but I don’t think she listened. She probably thought I was full of it!”
“Huh, wait, what?” I ask, bringing my full attention back to the bathroom and hearing Rarity’s words again. It is the hardest thing ever to shake off those sacred feelings.
“You don’t pay attention to me either?” She’s gasping, with disparaging comments from other people seeping through the phone. Seems like I spaced out through her rambling as well. “My, some people and their nerves!” That damn irony.
“Sorry, but mentioning Twilight...I lost myself a bit.” I chuckle as quietly as I can, blushing as I smile.
“Just like so many other boys and their simple minds. All it takes is the mention of a sweet girl.”
“Oh, trust me, Rare, if you saw everything that goes on in my mind when I think about someone I like, you’d think it’s quite intricate.”
“What?” There’s a sudden elevation in her breathing. I cough to restrain myself from bursting laughing. “Ew, ew, ewwwwwww! Guh-ross!”
“Hey, some of your exes are my friends. The stories they’ve told!”
“Keep it to yourself!”
“Oh, suuuure,” I say. Then I cough again, returning to the present. “But anyway, you saw her again? I thought she returned to her…you know.”
“Yes, maybe...but I’m not completely sure. All I know is she’s here. Then again, that portal is still there, you know.”
“That’s...true.” I’d almost forgotten about it. Why hadn’t our school done anything with it? Isn’t it classified as potentially dangerous?
“Yeah, so, uhhh…” she paused again. So typical of her when she’s talking to a guy, especially if it’s me. Very strange, come to think of it. “...since you didn’t pay any attention, I also said she and I spoke with each other for a bit. Weird enough, she didn’t remember anything about last week at all. She claimed to be a new student, but I told her I already knew that. She was even more confused.”
“Really, now?” And so my crush needs my guided assistance.
“Her expression when I told her about Sunset Shimmer… Ugh! It was like this was the first time we met! I know you and her had a had something special, so I figured you’d be able to help. The poor girl just seems so...so lost! Maybe seeing you could fix some things.”
“Sounds fine to me.” This time, my voice echoes, almost resonating with excitement. I’m sure Rarity was taken aback by my audibility. “Where should I meet her, though?”
“Well, luckily, I think we’ve been ‘rebuilding’ our friendship, so to speak. She asked to hang out with me tomorrow. She was a little awkward about that, though, as she usually is.” She put more emphasis into those last words. Another typical trait of hers when the going gets tough. “I’ll text you when and where later. We still have no idea what we’re going to do, but I wanted to make sure you would be in on this.”
“Oh, definitely. Just don’t make me run out of class again.”
“How about you just don’t be so hasty?”
“Ha. Right.”
I pull the phone back down and listen to its quiet and brief beep sound. ‘Call Ended’ flashes under her name. The screen transitions back to the menu, and I stuff the phone back in my pocket. Looking up, I swear I can actually feel the radiance of the bathroom’s light on my face. Twilight, the girl I so longed for, is back. Clueless as she was (the very thing that made her so cute), she is actually back. The very same person who opened my eyes to what I know is most attractive, most beautiful in a girl. If she had never appeared, I might still be stuck with that bitch. It is by far one of the scariest thoughts I could ever imagine. The type of person I would have become puts me on the verge of insanity the more I think about it, especially as I compare her to Twilight. If we had remained a couple, I might still be lost, less emotional and giving than I am now. I’d be trapped in that vortex, as I had run back to her so many times before, abused so often without realizing it. Despite how much people like me, I would have absolutely nothing. I’d be the sheltered kid at the bottom of the barrel, below the ground, where no one bothers to look in and see what’s wrong.
But that’s all past me. Tomorrow, Twilight Sparkle awaits. It’s my job to set things right for her and to guide her throughout the school year, as a true man and welcoming student should. I’ll open the doors of opportunities for her. She’ll live the best life possible here as long as I make things work. And you know what that means? Romance, drama, a pissed off Sunset Shimmer, and the rest of hell, here I fucking come. All of the troubles in our lives will be the dance floor, and my chronicles of a lost love, of the girl who once saved us all, will begin.
Where you left off.
And here I am, sitting by myself in a desk at the back left corner of another classroom by a window with the sun shining on me. At twelve-thirty, the bell for lunch rings, and I watch people as they pick up their backpacks and walk out of the classroom in a bunching-together-line. It is always the same mess twenty seconds after the class is dismissed. I stare at them, anticipating how I would make my exit after the whole room is cleared. All I can think about is how I will stand up without a care in the world for what people thought of my slumping shoulders or eyes as they drift downward. Whichever way they felt like pointing. But that wouldn’t be today. No, not If Twilight happens to be alongside Rarity around the corner. I can not just leave this place like a prison cell, like a guy who’s been tortured by years of unbearable boredom, mind-numbing lectures, and drop-the-soap rape. No, you see, I, Flash Sentry, have to enter the hallway oozing that flaming rockstar flair, letting those charming good looks that bring the world over to its knees speak for themselves, with combed-up hair, a straight back, a few fingers in my pockets, and the calmest, most romancing eyes I can muster up. I got to be specialer than special, like how everyone thinks the guitarist of the campus should look, to where even passerbies on the sidewalks can’t help but gaze in envy or awe. It’s all for the girl of my dreams.
Now the room is nearly empty. I drop my hand down to grab my own bag. With only two students remaining, I declare it to be showtime, baby. The most exuberant guy-on-girl encounter will begin in just minutes, and the currently-gazing-at-me Mr. Whooves with his hands on his desk better believe he ain’t deterring this master of all flirts. It’s as if he thinks my past history of detentions in his class is going to scare me, going to tell me to wear the face of a goody two-shoes student who steps out or up to him with dread and obedience written all over their fucking face. He thinks just because he’s got some stupid, whacked-out-horse-whatever variant of a TV show character’s name that he’s mightiest thing in this room, and that he can push me out of here with those narrowing blue eyes. He’s the typical teacher who comes to resent the popular kid, even though I have never opposed him. Well, my walk outta here oughta let him know who’s truly the king of these grounds.
I sling one of my arms through my backpack’s strap, followed by the other as I happily smirk at him. The expression every perfect person in this world uses to get by. He doesn’t budge at all, staring right into me. He moves away from his table towards the door at his right, pushing his keys into the doorknob and twisting it to unlock the storage room he shares with the classroom on the other side. He groans as he glares at me one final time, hoping to pierce right through my confidence, I bet. That unspoken communication. It burned to the ground any trace of a good relationship we may have possibly had.
Well, I can’t be admired by everyone, I admit, approaching the last student beside myself to leave. He holds the door open for me as he walks out, turning to glance at me and nods. “Thanks,” I tell him, grabbing the handle as he lets go, and he looks at the hallway ahead of him. I remove my own hand a bit later to stare around around, standing completely still. The sound of metal slamming against metal. The tens of people grouping together with their friends as they leave class. My eyes sweep left and right, my body stiffening up as I anticipate which side the two girls may come from. People walk in both directions, passing by me as they gossip among each other about who was dating who, and which girl broke up with which sexist, chauvinist jerk, and who they wanted to hook up with because he was sooooo hot. Some of them even glance at me. Their eyes aren’t letting go, with some of them actually twisting their heads as they keep walking along. Hell yeah, that sexy effect, baby. And a few guys doing the same, sensing there was a change in my mood and wondering what was up? Yup, it is definitely time to bask in the attention, and to look good when the right time comes.
I step out further to let my presence be known to whoever is seeking me out. Rarity and I previously agreed that all three of us would meet right here in the middle of the hallway. She claimed she would bring Twilight with her as well. With the seconds passing, I can feel the shaking in my body increasing, feeling it running up and down my body. My loosening knees, like they’re about to bend. My gritting teeth and head as it leans forward. Ugh, not what I need right now, but a bead of sweat rolls down my forehead. The students begin to look at me with intrigue as I stand alone. The waiting is really grating on my patience, throwing me into a state in which they’ve never seen me. The only Flash Sentry they ever knew was the one who bursted with confidence, when he called out for all the people on campus to stare at him on stage and yell his name. Their internal questioning is way too easy to see through their glances. Those goddamn, soul-piercing, wanting-to-know-more-about-the-school’s-rockstar glances. He looks so odd today, I sense them thinking. I’ve never seen him like this.
A pouty, fashionista-ish voice yells out my name, above the rest of the noise around me.
“Flash!”
I look to my left, and down the hallway, amidst the people who are leaving and pushing through the exitting doors, is the most popular, liveliest model girl on this campus, now that Sunset Shimmer has been dethroned, with purple stylized curly hair called Rarity, waving her hand and smiling with that typical over-the-top glee of hers. Her other arm keeps a tight grip on her textbooks, pushing them against the side of her body.
“Oh, hey there, Rare,” I greet, scratching the back of my head and looking on shyly. She begins speedwalking, and I see her glancing behind herself and muttering some of the harshest, most commanding words I’ve ever heard her say, ever. She reaches a hand back to grab something, almost fighting with it, and that is when I look beyond to finally see the girl she was pulling along. Or rather, I should say, the absolutely gorgeous, jaw-droppingly stunning lavender girl with the darkest purple bangs and flowing hair that swings and drops so smoothly down to her waist. The single motion of her walking to the forefront alongside Rarity brought time to such a grindingly, infinitely-lasting slow. My eyes fixate, my mood swings, my poise loosens, and my head and shoulders slump right after I had fought so damn hard to keep them uplifted and exuding with confidence. Exuding with a vibe that could make anyone weak. If it wouldn’t have been socially awkward, I’d let my tongue loll out and drip with saliva, with each drop coming together in a small puddle in front of my feet. Here it all was, the moment I dreamt about during all of last night and woke up thinking about this morning. She was finally here, in front of me, in the flesh.
“Come on, it’s alright, darling,” Rarity comforts. The girl by her side stares straight at me. “He doesn’t bite.”
“Who is he?” she asks. Oh god, my heart just plummeted to the earth. Goddamnit, I can’t feel it. I let my palm touch my chest to see if it’s still there, and yup, there’s a faster beating than ever, with a constant rising and falling that matches my fast-paced breathing.
“Oh dear…” Rarity’s face fell with equal remorse. Her eyes look to the left and right. She must know how I’m feeling. Her emotions must be the same as mine. “He’s Flash Sentry! And you’d best get to know him quick, otherwise, everybody will think you’re strange.”
“Uh…okay.”
And I’m supposed to do and say something right now, huh? The one girl I truly liked, whom I nearly kissed just a week ago, doesn’t even know the name of the rock guitarist on this campus. That is the very least I’d think she’d remember after only being gone for seven days. She probably doesn’t even remember that a boy of my appearance ever existed until just now. Someone like me was never even a thought. Something is different. That much, my sunken heart is sure of.
They were only an arm’s length away, with just a few other students lingering in the room. We stay where we are, waiting for the last slamming of the doors around us, wanting to spark as little controversy as possible. The shutting comes ringing down the hallway, but even afterwards, we try to keep it as quiet as possibly. Rarity briefly switches her gaze between me and Twilight, her own face ridden with cluelessness in what the hell to do. That new girl whom I’m being told is called ‘Twilight’ also still looks at me in confusion. It’s the blankest fucking face I’ve ever seen on any human being. With those twitching eyes and completely frozen, motionless nature, she was so evidently asking herself “Who the hell is this? Am I supposed to know him?” To go along with that, I really am just about tempted to ask the same.
Rarity fakes a chortle, gripping her books even more tightly.
“Anyway, so sorry for being late, Flash,” she apologizes, focusing on me. “She got nervous when I told her I would be introducing her to a guy.” She wraps her finger in her hair, chuckling. “You know how some of us girls can be.”
“It’s not a problem,” I respond. Just something else in front of me is. “I just got out of class, actually.”
“Yes,” she mumbles, drawing out the ‘s,’ “but, I know this is a big deal to you.” Twilight twists her head to look at her, who spares her a quick glance, and down her throat travels the loudest gulp I’ve ever heard in in probably all of my life. It’s the revelation that she can feel panic like us during normal situations. Every other time, it was just one of her occasional public freak-out sessions that took place when a piece of gum or dirt fell on her clothes that, you know, she had worked oh so hard to gracefully toss into the washing machine with such sublime etiquette. Those moments, you know. The ones that define her.
“Well, anyway, Twilight, this is who I was talking about. He, well…” She glances at me. “...and you, uhmm…”
And this is when the Flash Sentry the school knows and loves has to take control, no matter how hard the cells in his brain just can’t work to find the right words. His lips open to speak some, hanging for a moment as he prays something intelligible will come out. Hey, it’s not like he has control. It isn’t his fault.
“We met before, if you remember,” I speak, shrugging my shoulders and scrunching my nostrils. Nevermind, he fucked up. She obviously didn’t remember at all. Just why did he ask that? This was a lavender, long-haired girl who probably just enrolled in school and didn’t know anybody on the campus. Not me, not Rarity, not Principal Celestia, not Sunset Shimmer. Absolutely no one. If she’s anything like who she appears to be, she can’t even figure out the right posture to stand up on her two legs while looking up at the boy she just now met. But hey, it’s not like it matters, because he might even offer her help if she falls down. Funny enough, with the way he’s currently feeling - the feelings he doesn’t want to admit after being in this seeming mess - the ones that are ricocheting throughout his head, throughout this room...there’s a good chance he’d do just that.
“We have?” she asks, her cheeks flushing red as her eyes twitch, looking away, and her left leg crossing over her right. Oh god, that signature shy gesture only one girl has ever done in front of me before. Nevermind. This is, in some way, without a shadow of a doubt in my mind, Twilight Sparkle. My heart is mending itself piece by piece, and all the love hormones in my brain bounce around in my skull, telling me it’s true. Fuck, and just when I was comprehending so much evidence that screams otherwise. But, with her current quietness, I can already tell there’s something more, something buried deep behind those eyes that she can’t figure out how to say. I’m just the catalyst activating an entire chain of memories.
Her lips open, but no words flow out. It’s just really loud breaths. “I’m...sorry. I don’t remember you. Apparently, there’s a lot of things I can’t recall, and it’s really freaking me out.”
“Well, we can help you, darling,” Rarity reassures, wrapping an arm around her back and looking on with sympathy, letting her eyelids fall. “I’m sure if you start talking to more people, it’ll all come back.”
“But that’s the thing: nothing seems even vaguely familiar. I thought I was going to start out as a new schoolgirl, experiencing new things on my own. But this...this feels so forced!”
“Then in that case...ugh.”
Rarity turns to face me again, narrowing her eyes and jabbing with her head at Twilight while the girl looks down. Translation! Flash, do something! I think she still likes you! She just doesn’t want to say it! Can you give the two of us time? She can’t sense just how clueless I am about this. She doesn’t understand how long it takes for three specific words to pour out. Before that can happen, I need to know what could have possibly happened to her in just one week that now she’s having all this trouble remembering things. Everything, like she just went from Wonderwoman to Lois Lane, a girl who was looking up at me hopelessly, wondering who I am, not knowing I will play the role of hero when she leasts expects it. Really, just what was in store for the couple everyone dreamed of finally seeing together again?
And you know what? Maybe that’s what we need: everyone to see us walking side-by-side, all the attention in the world centered on us, and perhaps their whisperings of everything that happened would bring back memories. I knew the perfect place to start with: the gym, where the Fall Formal was held. That’s it, the perfect solution!
Now, to actually be smooth in my execution this time...
“You know...” I act casually, rocking back and forth on my feet, fixating my eyes on Twilight, tempted to glance at Rarity to seek out a head-nodding approval that told I was doing the right thing right now. Man, if only she was capable of encouraging instead of pressuring. “I could show you around the place, besides what you’ve seen with her. I mean...many of us remember you, and maybe seeing them will help clear things up a bit. In fact, I know this one sporty and hyper girl at our gym who’d be really psyched to see you again.”
She mumbles something. I can’t make it out. This has got to work. Goddamnit, it has to. If she isn’t able to go out with me here and now, I’m willing to bet Sunset Shimmer, despite her reformation, will find her and take advantage without a moment’s notice. I’ve never known a bully to forget being totaled by the new kid, even if they learned a lesson. If she feels the way I pray she doesn’t, she will perform a million and one unspeakable things to her when the chance presents itself. I can’t let that happen at all. Please, Twilight, play along! I’m willing to be your knight-in-shining-armor, but don’t be a damsel in such horrible distress. Don’t make this impossible. Don’t burn our dance floor.
“Alright then, I suppose,” she answers. And now there’s a tear of joy welling up in my eye, one I won’t react to. Nope, not even wiping it aside. Not a single fucking way, not after that glimmer of hope that just showered all over me and her. Now I have to keep her safe. I can make everything better. Those terrible fires have been doused, and we can return to our strut.
“Okay, cool.” I look down at her. She looks back up at me, the twitching gone, and the uncrossing of her legs. I look deeper into her eyes, searching for a sign of those three same words we were once so close to sharing, but I sense something both familiar and different instead. It is a feeling, one I want to embrace, but yet again telling me that there’s something amiss. This Sparkle, as much as I don’t want to admit it, is also so strangely alien, while still the same. Like my gut reaction told me. Something in those pupils is setting off all my alarm bells. This could possibly just not be the same girl. ‘Twilight’ here could just be someone who decided to look and dress like the one whom I cared about, just so she could revel in the attention and hook up with me. A jealous girl who thought I was cute, but didn’t grab my attention because she was always on the sidelines, invisible to my seeking eyes. It reminds me that I need to find out what is true about that entrancing poise, lavender skin, and that purple, flowing,and magnificent hair, and what isn’t, and quick. “I guess then…we can start by going this way.”
I turn around, locking my eyes onto Twilight as her expression returns to normal. I let my mouth curves into a smile, forged completely out of all the nervosity I’ve ever felt in the world, and I can see Rarity chuckling beside her. The interrogating fashionista lowers her eyebrow, homing the corresponding iris in on me. There’s something wrong here, too, and you know it. You might want to get to the bottom of this before a certain someone else does.
You don’t need to tell me, I convey with a nod, right before I extend my hand out to the lavender girl. Twilight looks at it, grinding teeth. She doesn’t know what to do, how to react. She’s lost. With the rising and falling of her chest, it’s obvious she’s giving this much more thought than anything she’s ever given to, ever. This new girl doesn’t know what to do with a single sign of interest from another person, but she still gradually lifts her hand up, placing it gingerly on my palm, clasping her smooth fingers around as tightly as an emotionally confused, lost-in-this-world girl can. Oh man, there it is again: that familiar, soothingly warm embrace. The one I had missed so much during the entirety of this years-long week. It’s back, and I don’t want it to ever leave me, even when we finally let go later in the day. But I could tell with her inability to stare straight into my own eyes that she couldn’t come to terms with the same feeling. She was scared deep down, so many intrinsic thoughts she never knew existed, and taking deeper breaths than I’ve ever heard from a girl. This gesture means love, an emotion that should take time to evolve. Not happen in one meeting.
Those eyes move up and down. Her mind is easy to read, This whole thing is meant only for the right person. I don’t even know him, but he seems so...familiar. Please, let me be the ‘right person.’
Her grip tightens. Yes! Here it is, here we finally go. Without another thought, I pull her gently alongside me. She’s right by my side, walking so easily, like she’d been standing on two legs for years. I guess at the right times, your deep intrinsic let your motions say what you really wanna say.
“I hope you guys have fun,” Rarity yells from behind. Not quiet at all, like we had planned.
And I laugh in return. Twilight tightens her fingers even more, and as we take our steps steps, I sense the small gap between us becoming smaller and smaller. More and more of her long, smooth, elegant hair, inch on top of another inch, rubs up against my black jacket as the seconds tick by. We reach the doors, and it’s all like she’s indiscreetly asking to nose up against me. Maybe even more. Just who is this ‘Twilight,’ really?
“So…” she mumbles as we stop in front of the doors, her pushing her respective one open as I held my other hand out. She shoves mine as well, and she laughs lightly. At this point, I’m dumbfounded. Gender norms be damned. The edges of her lips curve up even more, and I can see her perfectly aligned teeth. “Sorry. I...kinda like to do things my own way.”
“That’s...alright.” No, I’m completely surprised. No girl has ever held open a door for me, ever. I guess it doesn’t matter, but it adds to the strangeness of it all. But this doesn’t stop us from hitting it off, so I walk through the doorway alongside her - trying to cover my shock with a smile - into the sunlight where the rest of the school’s students are gossipping with each other over who was dating who, which guy or girl was cute, yadda yadda yadda. Even some comments about which teacher was a huge bitch or jerk. But many of them pause, some turning to look at us and quitting their motions, their gazes homing in. There we were, standing in front of double doors and holding hands: the couple the world thought it would never see again. The boy and the girl that embodied such a fairy tale in just how they spoke and held hands with one another as everyone watched them dance on all-fours without a care about what anyone thought. As everyone hoped they would soon kiss under the moonlight, without a judgement in the world to fall upon them.
I smile weakly, and some of their jaws drop like they’re about to strike the ground. A few of them even release the books and hands they were holding, and others stand as completely still as possible in their spots, even as the rest of their friends continue walking without them. Stiff, unmoving eyes focus on Twilight and I. All three hundred and twenty thousand and one hundred and fifty-eight of them. Damn it.
I take one step down the small flight of stairs, pulling Twilight along with me and watch as several other kids pass us by.
“Yeah, don’t worry about them. You’ll get used to all the attention,” I tell her.
“It’s nothing new, really.”
And so all the gossipping, snickering, and bickering that could happen in this school happened. All the looks and gasps from passing or petrified-with-shock students who suddenly grasped their slipping textbooks and backpacks once they gazed at us. Initially, each reaction was different, with the guys saying amongst their gothic and sporty cliques, ‘woah, dude, check out Flash. He’s with that one awesome girl again.’ The girls quietly commenting on us while glancing casually over their shoulders. I, as Twilight’s date, was supposed to remain completely composed, but I was beginning to lose it all, so desperately wanting to lash out as hard as I can with these bare knuckles against these fuckers, to tell them to stop treating the two of us like trophies on-display they had never seen before in their lives. But now that we stand in front of the see-through doors leading into the gymnasium’s lobby, I tell myself every bit about how I need to ignore each and every person, and immerse myself in the scenery before me. The scenery that, as a senior who didn’t take P.E. classes anymore, I rarely ever saw. Looking ahead and thinking about the strange friendship Rainbow Dash and Twilight should have gradually calms me all the way back down. The background remarks and compliments from all my classmates were all just the same and meant nothing anymore. They were just one united voice following us wherever we went. Nothing that deserved my attention. Just a constant static. However, I wish I could tell if all the comments have registered in the brain of the girl beside me. Her face contorts as she looks up, hinting again that something was completely wrong-or intriguing. My words about somebody who would be excited to see her again must have rung in her mind now that we’re at here.
“It’ll be okay, Twilight,” I say, reading what interpreted to be her growing concern.
“I know, I know,” she replies, lowering her eyes to glare at the doors. Her tone drops to one strangled by anxiety. “Everything’s been alright so far. I mean, nothing could go wrong, right?”
“Nothing. I just think you will come to like this person.”
“If you say so.”
“Just be prepared for a bear hug.”
And so my one free hand reaches out to push the doors open. She probably didn’t treat herself this time because of all her anxiety. It’s like she’s freezing up again. No movement, not until I waved my hand in front of her. That purple face must have flipped through ten different expressions, squinting her eyes before shaking her head, and flinging those bangs every which way as her nose scrunches up. It goes back to normal, and she’s smiling, staring up at me with ‘sorry-for-being-awkward’ eyes. Well, at the very least, she knows she’s weird. Yup, this is still Twilight, to some degree.
“Sorry,” she apologizes, stepping in with me. “I’m still...flustered.”
“It’s okay. Just...we’ll take our time.”
She nods and walks along with me as the doors behind us close, trodding towards the next set directly in front of us. She stares around the place, taking in the gold and bronze girls sports trophies lined-up row after row in the steel cases. Years two-thousand-ten to two-thousand-twelve, each of them read, under basketball, soccer, track, and lacrosse. Champions for all three years, and credited with her own MVP trophies alongside them was the ecstatic, commanding, pride-driven, and eccentric Rainbow Dash, the girl the whole high school came to cheer on every time she stepped out onto the fields. This time, I can’t blame Twilight - her reaction is mine everytime I walk in here. There’s a mystical, proud ambience surrounding this room, forged by those plaques earned from hundreds of hours of sweating, practicing, and hanging out with your teammates afterwards to bond and talk about how you’re going to destroy your next opponent.
We push open the doors and walk into the gymnasium together, and as we enter, there are girls and boys dribbling basketballs up and down the two half-courts, screaming out each other’s names, scrambling to keep up, and running purposely around the court.
I stop in my place, searching around for a girl with long rainbow-shaded hair who usually wore biker shorts underneath her purple and white skirt. She dons the same blue jacket over a light shirt everyday. They’re our school colors, she chided whenever someone asked if she ever wore different clothes. Down to her very soul, she was a boy, who wanted to be the star of a world famous sports team.
Twilight takes a step ahead of me, releasing my hand and dropping her arm to her side like she’s completely lost again. She’s not moving. I had no idea the backside of a girl’s hair could be so immobile. She looks at a point far off into the horizon, like she’d found the one thing special item she’d been searching for for a thousand years, watching all the basketball players run by, and I can tell, from that immobile, soulless poise, she wouldn’t say what was wrong if I were to ask a million times.
“Twilight?” I ask, approaching her side again and leaning my head down slowly to look into her face without getting in front of it. That unmoving, stiff, creepy face that no guy would ever want to kiss. Ever. Damn it, and this is what I supposedly wanted more than anything else in this world! It’s not getting better at all, not with her eyes dilating into the size of the tip of my fingernail. No response. I wave my hand again in just inches from her nose again, because the situation calls for it. Nothing. Nothing at all. From what it looks like, this skinny, long-haired purple body is just the earthly shell of a human being that lost all of its memories all over again.
“Hey Flash,” the most loudest, toughest, and raspiest girly voice I’ve ever heard yells. I look around to my right, and there she finally is. Rainbow Dash, in the same shorts, shirt, skirt, and everything, waving happily beside two of her bigger guy friends. Her smile is full of joy, so full of life, so full of feelings I wish I could feel right now. The gleeful face that tells you that everything in a bad situation will turn out okay. That everything bad about your life can flip right over into something that glows so magnificently, so brilliantly and exuberantly, that you can’t take your eyes off of it. However, as she stares longer, it fades into confusion. She must have realized who the girl by my side was. Then it’s the most shocked expression ever, her own jaw dropping. Elbowing the two boys beside her before giving them a quick glance, she mutters something inaudible from this distance. Even then, I can make out one ‘That’s her!’ from their conversation.
It’s back to looking at me again, and her eyes and smile light all the way back up, leaving her as speechless as I’ve ever seen the most confident sports girl in this school. Oh so speechless as her teeth jitter so rapidly, racing to match the speed of her thoughts. She tip-toes her way over here, motioning with a hand for her friends to stay back. I got this, she communicates, don’t you guys worry. I’ll say ‘hello,’ and then I’ll bring her back.I’ll be so fast, she’ll be back here in ten seconds flat. It was so evident with the way she was bending her head toward Twilight that she really, really could not believe what was standing just a few feet from her. That sports girl’s confused and delighted face is like an open book: Am I seeing things? How this this possible?! It reminds me of yesterday, when Rarity called to tell me she was with Twilight. The impossible had become possible. The world had re-invented itself. I almost thought I was going to wake up from a dream. But this is hitting so much harder and beautifully for Dash. She was there when Twilight disappeared into the base of the statue, I had heard. It was her, Rarity, Pinkie, Applejack, and Fluttershy who watched the girl from another world leave our history without a trace left. Everything Dash knew about existence changed, and it’s shape-shifting again.
“Oh, uh...sorry,” Dash apologizes as she walks closer, giggling under her breath. I guess she just realized we were on a date, not just casually standing here side-by-side at the same time so we can look good in front of the campus. “But...Twi...light?”
But frighteningly, the purple girl still isn’t moving a single inch. It’s leaving me more scared than I’ve been in years, ever since I was a child with parents who unreasonably yelled at him. My heart’s stopping and starting. Another person’s voice, one of her closest friend’s, who had helped her trump Sunset Shimmer, was not at all good enough to snap her out of her trance. Neither was mine. Neither was all the screaming going on in here. All of it was separate from her perceived world. Her consciousness was elsewhere, her body stiff. Completely, motionlessly, dead-to-the-world stiff.
I place my hand on her shoulder, looking further over into her face, breathing deeper than ever before and feeling a small tear welling up in my eye. This can’t truly be happening. I seriously mean it with every bit of a soul I’ve got. I have to actually be in my own fucking dream this time. For the love of God, don’t let this all be true.
I glance at Rainbow Dash, who’s back to being confused, more so than before. It’s an additional emotion on top of the hundreds of others she must be feeling. A girl who was dead to her came back again, standing in front of her. In front of me, two of the people who cared about her more than anything, and she practically died again.
“Ummm…” I stall. She’s gotta respond to my voice, if not Rainbow’s overly commanding tone. Oh yeah, like she will at all this time, but now I’m praying beyond all my beliefs. Just how does someone pass out with their eyes wide open while inside of a noisy gym? “...Twilight? Is something wrong?”
The lavender girl’s body sways back and forth. At the third rocking, she falls towards the ground behind her, those purple eyes still looking right up towards the ceiling. Rainbow Dash and I throw our hands out to catch her by her shoulder blades, getting our fingers wrapped up in her hair. We can’t believe this is even happening. I look up mortifyingly at Dash, who is speechless once again, her mouth hanging open as her jaw hovers in front of her chest. Did that night implant traumatic memories that just now took effect and caused Twilight to faint? With the confusing mess she has been, would a doctor or therapist be able to figure out the issue? I don’t know. I don’t think I’ll ever know, and yet, as I continue staring at the athlete, and she looks back up at me, I realize that the two of us clueless teenagers who had been looking forward to an incredibly fun day not even twenty minutes ago are utterly lost on what we, as the ones holding her, should do. This girl, Twilight, needs professional medical help more than anything. With the way a few students are staring at us and calling out to others about what was at the gymnasium’s entrance, I can tell we’re not alone in our thoughts.
“What...just happened?” Rainbow Dash asks. Her eyebrows furrow, and deep within those pupils, a fire hotter than anything in this world grows. To her, this all looks like I made an enormous mistake in bringing Twilight here. I had the fucking gall to drug her up beforehand in the hopes of getting lucky, like so many guys my age. It was something I’d never have dreamt of in my life, but with the way her arm and face muscles are tensing, reaching out to every fear receptor I’ve got, I could tell she isn’t taking anybody’s shit at this hour. Some guys think I’m horrible to be around while I’m on my period, she implies.You’re the first to actually invoke it. What the hell came over you? So I’d better explain the day clearly to her, or I was dead meat to the school’s most popular, record-setting athlete, and then the world at large.
“I...wish I knew.”
“Just spare me the bullcrap!”
“I’m as clueless as you are, Dash! I only met her again ten minutes ago! You can ask Rarity later-”
“Yeah, yeah,” she grumbles, lowering her arms with me to let Twilight’s body fall before we pick her up, carrying her horizontally. “Save it, Flash. You’d better hope she says the same thing when I see her again, or even better, that Twilight wakes up again, or even better, THAT I FIND OUT YOU DIDN’T ACTUALLY A SCREW HER UP EARLIER!!”
“I WOULD NEVER!”
I shake my head in confusion on what to do next. This is all so much more than what I would have ever expected from this day, from what I had hoped to be the most perfect, seven hours at school, ever. It’s so far away from the hand-holding, lip-locking, hair-petting date I dreamt about last night, the one where we stared at each other without interruption. I planned on smirking, and she would smile back. We would walk for the rest of the day without a care in the world, letting the horizon hang above us after school was over and as the day grew darker, and I dropped her off at her front doorstep. But guess what? Now I’ve got a fucking care, and it’s the heaviest I’ve ever carried on my shoulders. It’s a soul-piercing, mind-boggling emotion that words can’t even possibly come together to define. It hurts even more to think Twilight might never get to feel a positive emotion comparable in strength. No feeling besides her own confusion, her own sense of being lost. Nothing beautiful, not while she lived around here. Those petrified purple eyes tell me everything I need to know about her current state, everything I never wanted to hear. They show me everything I never wanted to see, something I desperately pray will disappear after her body is examined by a doctor.
Her body...examined. The body of...Twilight Sparkle. Ugh.
I stop shaking my head.
“Look, can we just take her to the Nurse’s office and argue about this later?” I demand, eyeing Rainbow Dash with the same ferocity and eyebrows. “Just like you, I’m not about to let her die on my watch. Let’s get moving!”
Dash sighs, grumbling as if she wants to throw fists and break through the walls. We’ve been great friends, but with the way her eyes are glancing to the side, I can tell the moment is tearing apart her perception of the world again, twice over. All the unspeakable things she must want to do. To me, to herself for somehow not saving Twilight, to everything that defines how the world works. It’s welling up something within her more than it is in me. Then, when I come to think of how they both had their own physical pairs of wings and a crown during that final night of Sunset Shimmer’s reign, I realize there had to have been something between these two girls, something on a whole different spectrum that I, as just one single boy, couldn’t possibly understand. It was some sort of unbreakable bond that stretches beyond the defined existence of humanity, something science nor religion could find the right words for. I can sense it as she looks away without replying, angrily huffing. It’s something I want to press on about, to learn more of, to be one of the few others to understand something so significant. But I know that this isn’t the time. I can’t afford to fill my already distraught head with more disorienting ideas. Not now. Not while another human life is on the line. Not while it’s the most special person I’ve met in this world.
We haul Twilight out. I open the doors with my free a hand. We speed out into the sunlight, and at the same time, as we are making way for the Nurse’s office, I ask myself, This...is happening, isn’t it? Things were weird at first, but now she’s out-cold, and we don’t know why. I somehow don’t think the professionals can figure it out. But if they can’t, then what can we do?
Then one last other girl springs up in my mind, that red and yellow curling hair hovering over those blue eyes taking over it. Both hands on her hips, then reaching one out just to flip up someone’s nose. My eyes widen, and Rainbow Dash glances at me again, probably trying to discern what could possibly shock me again, but my attention isn’t redirected. No damn way. I’m far too infuriated as this person is all i can think about. If I showed my own emotions, Dash’s rage would seem insignificant, like a tiny baby next to a giant. The more I think about her, the more a whole different range of negative emotions tries to repress my logical thinking. It strikes me harder than anything that there actually is someone who could understand why this has all ‘magically’ happened out of nowhere, and that she happens to be a one-time angel to everyone on the campus who fell so harshly from grace, fighting so hard to spread a new pair of white wings while being rejected by all the cliques. The type of person you talk to for a while, decide you love them, then decide you hate them, and at times, figure it may be worthwhile going back to them for some reason you can’t find out how to describe. A reason that shouldn’t even exist. These episodes are too familiar, and when word of the girl who is currently in my arms coming back to our world reached me, I thought I’d be able to put the past behind me. That hothead-turned-demon-then-loner was done for, never to be dealt with in my life ever again, except for when she came between me and Twilight. Now I have to run back to her if just to make that relationship even happen.
Yeah, this is a dance floor all right. And just when I thought I had doused the flames, they blaze up again with a vengeance to burn me, and to burn someone who had just been re-born into this world.
Life...is such a waltz.
