This is the story of my life before now, so if you want to hear my story you may stay, but this is for the ones that haven't learned the lesson I learned when I was young and in high school.
Back in the day, when I was just a foal, I thought my parents had truly loved me, that I meant the world to them. I thought they would never treat me badly, until one night, when I hadn't done anything wrong. I was beaten like an animal and my mother didn't do anything but sit there and laugh as I was beaten.
I didn't understand why I was being treated like this, I was older when I realized why they were treating me the way they were.
They beat me for every accident, every incident that I did not mean to cause.
Every time i tried to rebel against their cruel behavior, they would beat me until, one day, I gave in.
They told me I was worthless, that I was... undeserving of their love. Of all the things that they showed me, all I saw was cruelty, and it was feeding into my brain, making me the result of their cruel treatment.
I became mean, rebellious, uncaring, dishonest, heartless and cold.
On my first day of school, I was just minding my own business, until I heard a young colt laughing at me, calling me a blank flank, as if I were some kind of joke. I immediately jumped over my desk and onto him and began swinging at his face, connecting with every swing.
This attack continued until I was pulled off by the teacher and brought into the office and was forced to sit there, alone.
When the bell rang, the teacher came in yelling at me like I had just murdered the colt, but it didn't phase me any, it only fueled my pent up anger until I eventually snapped at her and walked out of the office, heading straight home.
Walking in the door my, parents ignored me as i went to my room. My parents would call me down from my room, with a belt in their hooves, they would begin swinging relentlessly until i stopped crying at their relentless assault and let it fuel me even further, I did have friends, but of the wrong kind.
They said that if I didn't do what they say, they would beat me into a bloody pulp.
After i got into middle school, I was pushing colts and fillies around, shoving them into lockers just because, I did it because I thought it made me feel good.
I was constantly getting detentions, even though i would never show up, then I would get suspended for so long, but that never stopped me.
For the three years that I was there. I was mean. I always cheated on my homework and tests and managed to get away with it, every time somepony would go to tell on me, I would tell them that I would beat them up and leave them in a ditch.
Then when i got into High school, I was still doing the same thing, I began to start to feel too much joy. One day my senior year, I beat a filly because she looked and was weak and easily intimidated and nopony was there to save her, I was suspended from school that day and for two months.
Later that day, when the mailmare came by delivering the news paper, I picked it up and I was shocked by what I was reading, the article read:
Suicide: High school filly found dead at bottom of cliff.
and there was a picture of the filly that I had beaten.
As i realized what I had just read, I broke down into tears as I realized what I have become.
A monster.
I could not forgive myself for weeks, until I went and apologized to all of the ponies that I had bullied and threatened, I told them that I wouldn't ever forgive myself until I had apologized to them all, and with each apology I felt tears streaming down my face, the hardest apology though, was to the dead filly's parents.
One day I was walking down the hall going to class, I saw a colt pushing another younger colt around. I walked up to the colt bullying the younger one and I told him to stop, he looked at me and said "what did you just say?"
I repeated myself once more and found that the colt had punched me in the face, It was on.
I was swinging hitting him in the face and stomach, kicking him in the legs to take him down and eventually he fell to the floor after a good punch in the jaw, both of us with bloody noses and lips and a black eye, after the fight, the bully ran away and they young colt that was being bullied and beaten came up to me and said "thank you, thank you for helping me."
I knew it wasn't the right way to deal with the bully, but I just saved this colt and i told him not to thank me just because i helped him just for the simple fact that i could not forgive myself.
After all that had transpired, I had began to shed tears like I had never before, but stopped as a teacher's hand was on my shoulder.
I looked up to see that the young colt was with the teacher that was there and the teacher said "As unorthodox as it may seem, you stopped an act of bullying by stepping up and taking a beating while showing that you weren't going to stand by and watch. Although there will be consequences, I want to thank you for helping this student."
Tears began to well in my eyes again as the teacher pulled me into her shoulder, giving me emotional support. I then tell her that I accept what ever punishment I deserve.
I was suspended for three weeks, I stayed at home, where I was living alone, earning what few bits I could by doing what ever work I could do to earn some bits just to support myself.
After the three week suspension was over, I walk into the school noticing the young colt that I had helped, had his friends with him, along with the colt that was bullying him.
The colt that I had fought came up to me and said "You did something that day, when you stopped me in the process of hurting that young colt over there. You taught me a lesson, you taught me that even if the pony that stands up to you now was a bully in the past, that pony is different now than they were then and I have heard a lot about you back then, but the suicide, that was my sister."
Then it struck me again, bringing me to tears as I apologized so many times before he said "That was then, this is now. Although she died because of your actions, I researched your history when my parents told me about you, and I felt pretty bad. My parents and I are the reason you never saw your parents again, before my sisters death, because there was always someone watching, documenting the actions of your parents but was secretive about it. I just didn't recognize you when you stood up to me for beating up the young colt here, and I want to say I forgive you." in an almost comforting tone.
With this I felt relief, liberation from the past. It was wonderful to be able to put my terrible actions behind me once and for all.
Author's Note
While writing this, I felt a deep remorse for those that have lost someone dearest to them, or those that have died, because of bullying.
I wrote this because I remembered what a good friend of mine told me, after I had convinced him to tell me what happened and found out that he had lost a very special friend due to bullying, I will not identify him, as I feel that I would hurt him if I did
