The Tale of Lady Hoofwise

We'd done it! We were free. The euphoria of that moment, mere words cannot do it justice. Soon enough, we skirted  the  garden fences of thatched houses, our stealth mode engaged once again. We slid back our hoods and covering scarves, we didn't want to be mistaken for thieves now, did we?

I knew our next objective was concealment and as I couldn't change our looks immediately, we sought shelter. Anywhere immediately in town would be stupid and we didn't fancy walking into the tavern, as somepony would recognise us if a search took place.

As it happens, not many ponies walk around  at night, so we had trouble finding directions. Luckily, some stallion or other was ushered out of the tavern at that stage. The words of the barpony carried, at least we thought he was.

"You go on home now Ted." were the parting words, before the door was shut on the light and noise inside.

It took Ted some time to respond, as he nodded after the door was slammed "Will do!"   he said, before his face twisted in concentration and he tottered in our direction. We were leaning by the corner of the adjacent house, so we could see the grassy square and Ted's progress. He came to the house before ours, passed us without noticing, then relieved himself on the opposite wall.

I nodded at Miriam, she nodded at me, I nodded  more insistently; she shook her head and mimed gagging . Our little discourse was interrupted by a moan from Ted, showing he'd finished.

"I needed that!" he said, to no-one in particular, before tottering past us again.

I rolled my eyes at Miriam before pursuing, I caught him, just as he trampled the flowers of a house further along, i'm surprised nopony saw him, since the lights were on and the latticed window gave a good view.  I placed a friendly hoof around his shoulder, steering him away from an inevitable beating.

"Ted!" I exclaimed in a girlish voice.

"You remember me?"

He looked at me through a drunken haze and judging from the arch of his eyebrows he liked what he saw. "N-no, I don't believe we have Miss." he slurred, attempting some courtly bow; I held him up to stop him falling.

I pouted "You mean you don't remember me?" I sniffled "After that great night we had?"

His brows furrowed, but I'd got his attention. "Care to remind me?"

I'm surprised he remembered how to flirt,  given the state he was in.

I laughed, although I grimaced inwardly. "Oh, you!" I would've punched him playfully, If I wasn't certain he'd end up knocked out on the floor.

I perched by his ear. "As it happens, i'm on the market for a house, know anywhere?"

The suggestion of my tone set his drink sodden brain working

"Yeah, they do that at the..place"

Knowing this was hopeless, I gave up.

"Thanks so much Ted!" I said, kissing his cheek.

"I'll invite you back sometime." I ran away before the suggestion hit home. bowling into Miriam as I hid behind the house.

"Is he following?" I said, poking my head out.

"Nope." said Miriam

"Looks like he's making out with a lamppost."

Sure enough, he was. Both of us were snorting, Miriam's eyes watered as she struggled  to hold in her mirth.

Giving the pair some privacy, we  walked across the square noting the odd stretch of pavement that passed into the Town Hall; strange that  the rest of the square was grassy. It was rather grand, pillars supporting a tiered building made of polished stone;the huge clock-face at its summit illuminated by some magic or other. It was coming up to 4am and It didn't seem a smart idea to go inquiring after housing at this time, so we would sleep rough; not in the square obviously, but I did spy a signpost pointing to the park.

Neither of us was particularly keen on the idea, but we entered the fenced off park and searched  for a place to sleep. It was a rather large park, abundant with flora. Luckily we found a dense hedge suited to our purpose. It must've served as a child's den at some stage, as removing a few branches we found a hollowed out grotto like area and we were concealed from any prying eyes.

We carried our stuff in backpacks, we'd attached huge blankets to the top, military style. (At least we thought it was.) I placed mine on the floor, having removed any particularly nasty stones and twigs. Miriam's served as our bedsheet, it seemed the sensible thing to do; sharing the blankets I mean, otherwise we'd be shivering and uncomfortable separated.

There was no time for blushing and shy suggestion, it was practical and that was how we saw it. We managed a little conversation as we slid under the sheet. Then a silence ensued, neither of us slept; I'll wager we were kept awake by the same thought. I opened my mouth to speak, then shut it again. We were both mature mares, but recollection of the, events of our plan, sealed our mouths tighter than any blushing schoolfilly's.

We both made an unconscious decision to ignore it and rolled into each other accidently. After a hurried  "Sorry!" we both settled down, until the oblivion of sleep took hold.

We awoke simultaneously at the sound of laughter in the park beyond the hedge; the foliage providing a patchwork of images, so we could make out certain things. We got up and packed our things away, wouldn't do to have anypony stumble  in on us after all.

We both grinned at the sound of playing, it reminded us of performing and the awed sounds that accompanied it. We shouldered our packs and walked out of the hedge nonchalantly. We doubted the children would care and if any parents saw, they dutifully averted their eyes.

Turns out that the town was a lot larger than we'd  thought. The Town Hall we thought we'd seen was actually a derelict library, which we might've noticed if we'd seen the boards and large sign. The houses were in neat rows and had a paved path surrounding the patch of grass I'd talked to Ted on.

There was a Market District; shops neatly arranged, with a public forum in the centre, filled with the stand traders we were used to.

Having looked at the time I found we'd slept till mid-afternoon. There was some talk around the stalls of the "Circus Ponies" asking after friends, but they had been shooed away ; came the affirmation from one sour looking trader who seemed glad of it.

We made our way around and asked about renting; those we talked to seemed all to happy to help and we were soon directed to the real Town Hall. While the library had impressed us, this was awe inspiring. A gleaming white palace of marble,  huge latticed windows along its walls; oaken doors that wouldn't have been amiss in a church and so on. The Equestrian flag fluttered in the breeze atop the dome of the roof, as the clock , chimed a deep bass to show the hour.

We went through the public entrance, all too aware of our backpacks and shabby coats. The inside was equally as grand, the gleam gave it the wooden walls a look of fresh cut pine. We shuffled up to the help desk, not a little intimidated.  The spectacled mare on the other end gave us a fixed smile.

"How may I help you today?" She said it in such a robotic way, you could almost see her screaming internally.

"W-we'd like to look at renting a property."  I said nervously.

At my words the mask dropped, showing a doubtful expression, but It was quickly masked.

I didn't blame her, since we were cloaked and carrying backpacks; not exactly the usual custom.

"Uh, huh." she said "I'll be right back."  She twirled in her chair and walked away. She came back soon after with her manager and a guard pony. Miriam looked like she was about to cry, I steadied her.

"If you'd like to come with us please." said the dour Guardpony. The manager nodded, as if he was needed to acquiesce. We followed without a fight, the manager wiping sweat from his brow; this was clearly the most exciting thing he'd ever done.

We were taken into a back room and were sat at the two pre-prepared chairs before the desk and the Guadpony's chair.

The manager was there too, his heavy breathing carrying in the  otherwise silent room.

The Guardpony got straight to it, looking as bored as before. "You can understand why we're suspicious, I'm sure. Two backpacking mares, looking like they've spent the night in a bush. What's your business here?"

I replied crisply "Hedge, actually."   Miriam kicked me under the table, while the manager's jowls quivered in indignation.

    Mr Happy however, didn't respond. I can't imagine he'd ever smiled; I imagine his face being so deep set that anything happy came out as less of a drone.

He sighed. "Very funny. Now answer my question."

So, I did. "Well, you know that the Circus folk have been asking after some frie-"

The manager leapt from his place. "I knew it! I knew it! Come to leech off of our poor tow-" Mr Happy silenced him with a hoof.

"Go on." he said, steepling his hooves before his face, blue eyes boring into us.

So I told him the truth, omitting the theft of course; I saved the tears till the end, a masterful performance.

Miriam echoed my tale and the manager seemed moved. "I believe them." He said, not that the rest of us cared.

Mr Happy digested it all, before grunting "I'll be back."

With that, he left, the manager hot on his heels like some faithful deputy.

Miriam looked at me pleadingly, asking for some reassurance. I smiled, not entirely sure what would happen.

Mr Happy came back half an hour or so later, minus the manager, holding some papers.

"Alright. Seems you have no Criminal Records, registered to the Circus that's just left... born in Trotvale and Gehoova; seems your story checks out. Although, given the nature of your statements we can't exactly question this Ringmaster. If I cared to, I could launch an investigation... maybe bring him in on this." He let the threat hang, steely eyes surveying us.

Since we made no response he continued "I see you were carrying a fair number of Bits with you. Should last you some time if you're renting."  He passed us the contracts to rent  a two bedroomed house.

Miriam looked like she was about to faint and I thanked our foresight in hiding most of the sacks.

Mr Happy spoke again "To be on the safe side, you'll take new names." More of a command than an option.

After some consideration I said  "Rose" and Miriam followed with "Jasmine."

We imprinted our hoofmarks on the contract and Mr Happy nodded.

"Welcome to Drumble."

Just like that we were made new; a house, a friend and new opportunities to exploit. What more could I want?