She wanted to tell her. But I shouldn't.
She needed to tell her. But I can't.
She had waited far too long already. But it can wait a little longer.
She was too scared. But I'm so lonely...
Applejack lay on her bed, the early morning sun casting mottled patterns on her coat where it shined through the old, faded curtains. Thoughts had been running through her mind all night, ever since the evening before when she had asked Rainbow Dash to come over this afternoon to help her with some farm work.
'Sure thing, AJ!' the cyan Pegasus had replied. 'What, need another barn knocking down?' she had made swift kicking motions with her hind legs as she hovered a few feet off the ground. 'I can do that, no problem!'
Today is the day, she thought to herself as she rose from the bed. It's now or never.
After a shower and some apple pancakes, she felt much more amenable to the idea, to what she was planning. Maybe it'll work out alright after all. She smiled as she stepped out of the farmhouse into the morning sun, adjusting her trademark stetson squarely onto her head. There was plenty of work to be done on the farm, but most of it could wait. It was more of an excuse than anything else. But with her brother, her sister and Granny Smith away visiting cousin Braeburn in Appleoosa, she knew this was the best time, the best opportunity for her to do what she was going to do.
A few hours later, as she hammered a few nails into place in a loose board in the side of the barn, she heard a familiar cry.
'Hey, Applejack!' The farmpony looked up as Rainbow Dash soared through the sky above, waving with a hoof as she began a spiraling descent down onto the farm. She felt a lump forming in her throat as she waved back at her friend.
'Well hay there, RD!' she said. 'Glad y'all could make it, ah could really use another pair a' hooves on the farm. Mah brother is up in Appleoosa with Applebloom and Granny Smith, so ah'm a little short-hooved here!' Rainbow alighted gently next to her, taking a theatrical bow.
'Rainbow Danger Dash, at your service!' she said, grinning. 'So, what needs doing?' AJ gestured toward the barn.
'Well, that there barn didn't stand up too well ta that windstorm y'all sent our way last week.' Rainbow smiled awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof.
'Yeah, sorry about that one...it kinda got away from us.'
'Well some a' the roof beams need fixin' if y'all think ya can handle that,' she explained. Rainbow nodded eagerly, flexing her wings.
'Pff! Whaddya mean, 'if'? I'll get it done in ten seconds flat!' she boasted, taking to the air and heading for the barn.
'Uh, good luck with that!' AJ called. Rainbow stopped and turned.
'What do you mean?' she questioned. Applejack held up a bucket of nails and a hammer.
'Well, ya kinda need these...'
After sheepishly returning for the tools, Rainbow Dash found it not quite possible to complete the job in ten seconds, but half an hour later the roof was fixed. She flapped down and landed next to Applejack, beaming with pride.
'There! All done, no trouble!'
'Well thankie kindly fer yer help,' Applejack said, smiling. 'Now how 'bout a break?' Rainbow flexed her wings again.
'Well, sure. Not that I'm tired or anything,' she said hurriedly. Applejack led her to the farmhouse, trotting inside and emerged a minute later with two big, frothy mugs of cider and two large apple muffins.
'Ooh! Cider! You sure know how to treat a mare right,' Rainbow grinned, taking one of the mugs and taking a big swig of her favourite drink. Applejack watched her as she drank her own cider.
Better than drinking alone, she mused. But if I tell her...what then? What if it's a mistake? Will I always be drinking alone?
They ate their muffins, and then set out back to the orchard.
'All the trees in the top field need ta be bucked,' Applejack explained. 'Usually mah brother would be helpin' me with that, but he ain't here.' Trotting alongside her, Rainbow Dash smiled again.
'No problemo! I can do that,' she said. She took to the air, dashing ahead of Applejack, her wings flapping, building up her speed. She soared into the sky, spinning, climbing. Applejack craned her neck up to follow her friend, shading her eyes with a hoof from the afternoon sun. Rainbow reached the peak of her climb and slowly, lazily, rolled over onto her back, swinging round, diving towards the farm, her wings swept back, building up speed.
Down she came, lower, lower, lower. Finally she leveled out, racing across the field at a dangerously low altitude. Applejack cringed as she barreled through the orchard, below the treetops, the speed and energy of her passing dislodging thousands of leaves and more than a few apples. Suddenly she popped back up into view from the other end of the orchard, spiraling up and away, a gleaming rainbow trail following her. Applejack felt her heart begin to beat faster.
What's she going to think? If I tell her, what's she going to say? This is a bad idea...
Rainbow Dash returned to earth a minute later, landing almost gracefully beside her friend. She looked at the orchard, expecting the trees to be bare. While there were admirably few leaves still intact, most of the apples remained unplucked.
'Ah...guess that wasn't as efficient as I thought it would be,' Rainbow said. Applejack picked up a basket and placed it on Rainbow's back.
'Looks like we'll have ta do this the old fashioned way!'
Rainbow Dash turned out to have a pretty effective kick of her own. Together, the two mares managed to pick every stray apple; no tree remained unbucked. Their job done, Applejack put her basket down and sighed.
'Phew! That was hard work,' she said, wiping sweat from her brow. 'Y'all did a mighty fine job, RD. Thanks fer the help!' Rainbow dumped her own basket next to Applejack's and grinned.
'No biggie. I'm always around to help my friends!' Applejack looked up at the darkening sky. The sun was going down behind the western mountains. She swallowed hard. This was it. It began here.
'Say, uh...' she began, casting another theatrical glance at the sky and making sure Rainbow saw it. 'Y'all want ta stay fer dinner? It's gettin' late.'
Rainbow looked up at the sky too.
'Sure! I never turn down good food!' she said. Applejack smiled at her.
'Alright! Let's get inside and I'll rustle somethin' up fer us.' She led the Pegasus into the farmhouse kitchen and began to get out a few pots and pans.
'Hayburgers ok?' she asked. Rainbow licked her lips.
'You bet!' AJ set to work, cooking the burgers, cutting up some celery stalks and pouring out another two mugs of cider. When they were ready, she dished them up and sat opposite Rainbow at the kitchen table.
'Enjoy!' she said. 'Granny Smith's own recipe. Think ah've done it justice?' RD took a bite, savouring it, before swallowing.
'I should say so! This is great!' she said, taking another huge mouthful.
'Glad ya like it, sugarcube!' AJ said, tucking into her own burger. They ate in silence, Applejack too nervous to talk, and Rainbow Dash enjoying the food too much. After they had both finished, Applejack cleared away the plates and sat down opposite her friend again. This is it. Now or never. Might as well get it over with.
'Listen, hon,' she began. 'Ah have ta thank y'all again fer yer help today, but...to be honest, none a' that stuff needed ta be done today...' Rainbow blinked.
'Well hey, why put off til tomorrow what you can do today, right?' she said, smiling and downing the last dregs of her cider. Applejack smiled weakly before continuing.
'Well, as a matter a' fact...ah had another reason fer askin' ya ta come over today...' Rainbow leaned back in her chair.
'What is it?' she asked.
'Well...ah got somethin' ta say to ya...somethin' ah've been meanin' ta say fer...a long time now...' Applejack said, her nervousness beginning to betray her.
'Ok, shoot!' Rainbow said.
'Well....ah...' she was beginning to shake. Rainbow noticed.
'A...Applejack, is something wrong?' she asked, a touch of concern entering her normally cocksure voice.
'No, n...nothing's wrong. At least, ah hope not...' AJ said, swallowing.
'Then what's got you all worked up?' the Pegasus asked. Applejack looked at her.
'What ah need to say, that's what.' Rainbow blinked again.
'Well, what is it? What's up?'
This is a bad idea.
'Well, ah...ah...'
Don't do it, Applejack.
'Ah...' she could barely finish her sentence. 'Ah...' Rainbow was staring back at her, her expressive eyes thick with concern.
Don't!
'Ah...' her voice was barely more than a whisper. 'Ah...love you...'
Rainbow Dash froze, all except her mouth which was flapping uselessly. She wasn't sure she had heard correctly.
'Y...you what?' she questioned.
'Ah said...ah love you...' Applejack repeated. Rainbow Dash felt herself getting hot behind the ears. Her brain was whirring- what to do? What to say?
'Y...you...love me? Like...love, love?' she asked. Applejack nodded. Rainbow was stunned, the sudden admission coming out of the blue.
'W...well...I mean, that's...that's flattering and all, but...well, I'm not into mares,' she said, smiling weakly. She's the Element of Honesty. She won't think I'm lying, right?
Applejack swallowed hard again.
'Ah...damn it...ah'm sorry, ah should never have said anything,' she stuttered, looking away. 'Now ah've gone and made a fool a' mahself...' Rainbow thought she could see tears forming at the corners of her eyes. She didn't think she'd ever seen Applejack cry before.
'No, no! It...it's fine, I mean...it was just...I wasn't expecting it, you know? I just...don't see you in that way,' she said. Tears were running down Applejack's face now.
'Ah'm sorry...ah'm sorry...' Applejack repeated. 'Ah just...ah had ta say something. I...it was torturin' me...' she sobbed. Rainbow moved round the table and put a hoof round her shoulders, her mind racing.
'It's ok, Applejack...it won't change anything. It'll just...take a little getting used to. Please don't cry...' The orange mare looked up at her friend, wiping away tears from her now disheveled face with a hoof.
'Really?' she said, sniffling.
'Really. Element of Loyalty, remember? I'd never abandon my friends.'
'But now ah've gone and made a fool a' mahself, and...and...'
She burst into tears again. Rainbow hugged her tightly.
'It's alright, AJ. It won't change anything, I promise. We'll still be best friends, we'll still do all the stuff we did before. It won't change a thing,' she said. 'You did the right thing, telling me. It's OK...please don't cry...'
Her tears flowed freely as Rainbow tried to comfort her, her own mind spinning. Damn it, Applejack...
'Ah'm sorry..' Applejack repeated again. 'How could ah be so dumb...'
'It's OK, AJ. It's ok, I promise...' She held her friend in her hooves while she cried. She didn't know what to do next. After a few minutes, Applejack pulled away from her.
'I...I could go...if you wanted me to,' Rainbow said, as much for her own sake as Applejack's. She needed some time to think.
'M...maybe that'd...be best...' AJ said, still sobbing, her face buried in her hooves. Rainbow had never seen her like this. Never seen anypony like this.
'Alright...see you tomorrow?' she said, moving slowly to the door. Applejack looked up at her with bloodshot eyes.
'Maybe...ah don't know...'
'Alright then,' Rainbow said, trying to smile comfortingly and only half succeeding. She let herself out, closing the door behind her. Inside, Applejack slumped over the table, head in her hooves, and cried.
Rainbow Dash breathed deeply, the crisp night air filling her lungs.
'Buck...damn it, AJ...' she sighed quietly. She spread her wings and launched herself into the air, heading for a bulky cloud not far away. She alighted gently and lay down on the soft, fluffy material. Her mind was a mass of conflicting emotions, a whirling, gyrating tornado of thoughts.
'Damn it, Applejack..'
After a half-dozen mugs of hard cider, Applejack lay on her bed. Her face was sore from all the crying, the pillow soaked. She thought the alcohol might have helped with the pain, but all it had done was make her need to get up and go to the bathroom twice.
What have I done? Why did I do it? What's she going to think of me? What's everypony else going to think of me? No matter how hard she tried, sleep would not come to Applejack. Her head was spinning, and not just from the alcohol. She lay there, just thinking. Thinking about one thing. The same thing that had been in her thoughts every night for as long as she could remember.
Rainbow Dash sighed again. This was no good. She had to get away. Away from here, away from...her. Somewhere less familiar. She had to get away.
She spread her wings again and flapped into the sky, heading north, away from town. She flew, climbing higher and higher, the air getting cooler around her, the moon bright above her, the ground falling away beneath her. Then, as abruptly as she had begun, she stopped.
'Damn it, AJ...'
She turned around and headed back to town.
Awoken suddenly from her sleep, her face pressed tightly against the pillow, she wasn't sure if she really heard the first knock.
But she definitely heard the second. Somepony at the door. No...at the window!
She rose slowly, unsteadily from the bed, her head still stuffy. Who the hay could this be? Drawing back the curtains, her eyes widened.
'Uh...hi?' Rainbow Dash grinned sheepishly.
'Rainbow...what are you doing here?' Applejack asked, a look of confusion on her face.
'I...need to talk to you,' she said. 'Can you let me in? It's kinda chilly out here.' Applejack opened the window and Rainbow Dash flapped inside, landing on the floor beside her.
'Why are you here?' Applejack asked, her voice almost emotionless. Rainbow looked at the floor, then slowly raised her head and looked Applejack in the eye.
'I...came to say sorry.'
Applejack blinked.
'What for? You have nothin' to be sorry fer...you did nothin' wrong.' Rainbow licked her lips.
'Yes, I did. I lied.'
'You lied? A...about what?' AJ asked, emotion beginning to return to her voice.
'About...not liking mares,' Rainbow explained. 'I...I know how ponies talk. I know what they all say about me. Well, it's true. I guess...I just didn't want to confirm it, you know? I was scared to admit it to anypony, even my best friend.' She stared into Applejack's eyes.
'That's not the only thing I lied about, either...' Applejack swallowed.
'W..what else?' she asked, her voice trembling.
Rainbow Dash said nothing. Instead, she kissed her.
Applejack was stunned. Just like that, it seemed as though all her dreams had come true. Out of nowhere, Rainbow had come back, after telling her she didn't love her, and now...here she was, telling an entirely different story with her mouth. She was sure it must be a sick joke. She took in every detail of the kiss, sure it would be the only one she would ever get from the mare she loved.
After a moment, Rainbow Dash broke the kiss just long enough to say;
'I...I love you too, Applejack.'
'R...really?' the farmpony asked. 'Y..yer not just sayin' that ta make me feel better, are ya?' Rainbow shook her head vehemently.
'No...I really mean it. I'm sorry, about before...I just...it was so sudden, and I was...just being a coward. I've been wondering for a long time how I could tell you how I felt, but...I...I guess I thought it was best if I kept quiet. I thought there was no way you'd be interested, and...well, I didn't want the whole town knowing all those rumours were true.' She blushed.
Applejack felt tears forming in her eyes again. This was really happening. Rainbow Dash took her hoof tenderly.
'I'm so, so sorry I put you through all that, AJ. I...I was just being my usual selfish...self. I was only thinking about me, not about you...like I should have done. D...do you forgive me?' Applejack looked away, thought for a moment, then returned her gaze to her friend's eyes.
'Of course ah do, ah can't stay mad at you...heck, ah think if you'd told me first, ah'd a' done the same mahself.' Hearing those words, Rainbow's eyes began to glisten with wetness as tears started to run down her cheeks. She threw her hooves round Applejack, holding her tightly and nuzzling against her neck, both of them crying now. They held each other for a while before Rainbow Dash broke the silence.
'I love you, Applejack.'
'Ah love you too, Rainbow.'
Maybe this didn't turn out so bad after all.
