“That’s it! I’ve had it with your hay! Get out of my shop!”

A door to one of the many multi-colored houses in Ponyville slammed open, and two unicorn mares flew out almost immediately, the purple-coated one still holding a half-empty glass of booze. Another mare appeared at the door, one with an ever darker shade of violet coat and a bright tangerine mane. She seemed flustered as she stared down the two ponies still on the ground, and only kept shouting as they struggled to get up.

“Serves you right, coming into my shop and making a mockery of my wares! Get out and stay out!” With that said, she turned and walked back into the building, slamming the door shut.

The mare with the bottle, now back on her hooves, did nothing but wobble slightly in place and stare dumbly at the closed door. “Fucking bitch…” she mumbled.

“I don’t know about that, Geoff. You did sort of break into half of her collection of beer and down it all down. We’re kind of lucky she didn’t call the cops on us,” said her companion, dusting herself of dirt. “If this world even has cops,” she added as an afterthought.

Geoff still said nothing, but rather taking the time to take a long swig from his bottle and burping. “Naw, she’s just a *hic* bitch, Jack. They all are. C’mon, let’s see if we can find any other *hic* places to drink.” He started to walk in one direction, but slipped clumsily and once again fell to the ground. Jack hurried to his side and helped him up, a worried expression now evident on his face.

“Geoff, are you sure that you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, girl. What *hic* makes you think that I’m not?”

“Well, first, you just called me a girl,” Jack stated plainly, “Second, you can’t even take a step without falling down. And third, YOU JUST DOWNED OVER 10 BOTTLES OF BEER! And in a body that most likely has never drunk alcohol.”

“...That’s fucking *hic* bullshit. I’m fine.”

All Jack could do was face-hoof out of sheer frustration. He knew that Geoff was an alcoholic, but he wasn’t a bad one. He was still his normal self with a beer or two, and he never indulged too much at work. Which was good. But now… now he was just a complete jackass.

“Alright, how about we just go back to the library?” said Jack after a moment of consideration, “Then we can…”

“Well well well. If it isn’t Twilight Sparkle.”

The two men-turned-mares turned to see who just talked. It was a blue-coated mare with a pale-white mane and tail. Unlike most other ponies they had seen that day, this one actually wore clothes, with a long, flowing cape on her back and what appeared to be a crooked magician’s hat covered with stars for it’s design. She was glaring at them with an irrefutable hatred, almost as if she was staring at her two mortal foes.

“And who exactly are you?” asked Jack, still a bit confused.

The blue mare seemed astonished, almost insulted by the remark. “What?! You dare say that you do not remember The Great and Powerful Trixie?! Why, Trixie thinks you have some nerve, missy!”

She would’ve gone on, had Geoff not interrupted her with a sudden outburst of laughing. “Wait, what *hic* did you call yourself?” he said, wiping tears from his eyes.

“The Great and Powerful Trixie?”

Now Geoff was on the floor, hugging his sides as he cackled like a madman. It was now Trixie’s turn to be confused at his performance. After a little bit, he got up, still giggling. “Oh my God, that’s such a retarded *hic* name.”

Confusion turned to pure anger in Trixie’s expression, “Wh-How dare you! Trixie knew you were nothing but an attention-hungry pony, but she never knew that you were also ill-hearted!”

Geoff’s smile now soured and died as he gave Trixie a glare, “Hey, I am not ill-hearted! My *hic* doctor said my heart was pretty healthy, thank *hic* you very much!”

Trixie smiled at his anger, “No matter, Sparkle. I can see you are under the influence right now. How embarrassing, a miserable little pile of dung like yourself can’t even compare to The Great and Powerful- AAAAGGGHHHH!” Her little speech was interrupted as she was tackled to the ground by an outraged Geoff, who proceeded to pummel her to the ground. Jack could only watch as his friend beat up the Not-So-Powerful or Great Trixie. Other ponies came to watch and cheer as the laughing-stock of the town was put in her place.

“Man, what a spectacle! Kick her ass, Geoff!”

Jack turned and found Ray and Gavin standing right next to him, watching the fight along with him, “What the fuck? Where did you two come from?”

“The top of a tree. Oh shit, that looked like it hurt.” commented Ray.

“The top of a… You know what, I don’t even care.”

Gavin turned his attention away from the fight for a moment, “Jack, we need your help! We need you to make us some costumes so that we can finally become X-Ray and Vav!”

“Costumes? I can’t make any costumes.”

“Sure you can,” said Ray, “You’re Rarity, the seamstress of the town. If Gavin can predict the future like Pinkie Pie can, then maybe you can cook us up some nice suits to fight crime. C’mon, time’s a wastin!”

“Gavin can predict the- waaahh!” Before he could finish his statement, Jack was whisked away by the pair of super-heroes, leaving Geoff to deal with the bruised show-mare.

...

And over by a farm known as Sweet Apple Acres, the sound of cows mooing got a certain pegasus smiling in glee...

Author's Note

I feel so god damn guilty when I don't update a story regularly. Or keep a promise like I should.
So I pretty much wrote this in two hours, I had to update or else people would forget about this story. I assure you, next chapter will feature the return of the Mad King, so you could bet your asses that it will be awesome.
Hope you enjoy the super quick update!