Chapters Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"Albert they're here!" Yelled young Sarah Goode, assistant of the powerful wizard and great mind Albert Einstein, having just found out the whole of their little English town was bearing down on them. The great witch hunt was on and they were next on the long list of magic wielding men to hang.
"Fear not Sarah! For I have a plan! I will use my magic to teleport us to the future! Finally we can enjoy the wonders of indoor plumbing and I can wow the masses with my great mind!" Albert replied. He pulled out his great, leather-bound journal that contained every one of his discoveries when unraveling the universe, without which he would never remember any of his discoveries. He prepared the arcane circle and spoke the words of power.
"Transportum Timey Wimey Forwarnam!"
With a flash and a ding Albert threw himself and his assistant into a temporal portal traversed only by the TARDIS and the odd DeLorean. However, the trip proves to be much rougher than Albert anticipated and he loses grip of both his assistant/girlfriend and journal. Sarah Goode would end up only 98 years in the future and would settle down in the quaint town of Salem Village in America. The book would fly through space and time until finally landing in the library of a one Mr. Lee, the proud and successful stock broker and father of teenage Kenneth Washington Lee. Here is where this story begins.
"Arcana?" Kenny Lee had been perusing through his father's library when a strange little book had caught his eye. It was rough and rustic. A thick spine bore branded lettering in thick, bold text. The letters spelled out one word, Arcana.
"What little wonders do you hold?"
Kenny opened the small book to the first page. He had expected yellow crumbling pages and archaic unreadable text. Instead he got a simple page of off-white parchment that read Hello Kenneth. in simple, easy-to-read and neat script.
"What the fuck!" Kenny yelled in shock and dropped the book. It landed with a thump on the floor before laying open, displaying the words What the hell, you bumbling idiot! You are 17 years old! Stop being a fool and pick me up from the floor! Or, perhaps you don't want to know the secrets of the universe? .
Kenny kneeled down and lifted the book from the ground slowly, staring at the words on the pages.
"What kind of book is this?" Kenny mumbled and turned a page.
The kind of book that can read thoughts, ingrate.
Now Kenny was just annoyed, "You don't have to be a jerk." Kenny threw back at the book in his hand, "Great, now I'm talking to a book."
Surprisingly the book didn't respond. The pages remained exactly the same as before. Kenny stared in bewilderment at the parchment and wondered why the book hadn't come up with another insult. Kenny then remembered that the book had a new response when he changed the page. To test this out he flipped back a page to see if it would change its message.
Finally, you dimwit. Maybe you aren't cut out to be a wizard.
Kenny would have responded with more reprimands if it hadn't caught his attention with the last comment.
"Did you say 'wizard'?" Kenny asked and turned the page again.
Indeed. I am the Arcana, the holder of the many secrets of the arcane realm. I can reveal the forces of the universe to you, and teach you to bend them to your will.
"Cool" Another page was turned.
I going to assume that was some modern slang and not that you are so brain-dead that you would call magic cold. So,what awe-inspiring power do you want to learn first?
Kenny marveled at this. Not only had he found a talking book, but it had just offered to teach him magic! What new powers will he learn? What things will he able to do? The possibilities were endless!
"I will get so many girls."
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
All right, first things first. If you want to learn magic you have to get some words of power.
Kenneth Washington Lee, bored, 17 year old son of a wealthy father and current holder of the only magical text to survive the famous witch hunt that blazed through Europe in the 1600's was about to learn his first spell. The book in question, The Arcana, had a mind of its own. This meant the book did not, in fact, contain pages filled with symbols, runic circles and lessons on how to turn your enemies into toads. It actually communicated through text that changed every time you turned the page.
Now words of power can be anything, latin, french, gibberish, anything. It's use is to help focus your mind on the purpose of the spell. However, I warn against using common words, you don't want to set someone on fire talking about your last, late night beach party. Be creative, but memorable. Let us start with a basic levitation spell. Think, float!
Kenny looked around his lush room as he tried to think of something to use. His room was easily as large as any master bedroom and was dominated by the king-sized bed he was sitting on. Beyond the bed was a full wardrobe, mahogany writing desk and every other fine wood furnishing money can buy. He had moved here from the library to avoid his mother. She was very traditional and probably wouldn't like her son attempting witchcraft from a sentient manuscript.
"Hmmm..." Kenny pondered, "How about Levetatum?" Kenny turned the page.
Good enough. Now comes the hard part, using magic. Magic is cast using your natural mana stores. Everyone has mana, but only those who put in the work can use the vast stores of power you all share.
"Sounds like what everyone says about school." Kenny idly stated and continued reading.
The first part of magic is connecting to the power you harbor within you. To do this usually takes days of meditation and soul searching to access. Luckily I know a way to bring it out of you without all that nonsense. Whatever happens don't let go.
"Wait, whaAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!" Kenny felt like he was being electrocuted. Blue arcs of arcane power leapt from the book and struck his skin. He felt the burning tendrils wrap around his core and pull. Kenny himself was frozen in place, paralyzed by the magical static coursing through his nervous system. His face was locked in the expression of agony, his voice long since giving out. Then, as suddenly as it started, it stopped and Kenny was left with a brand new sensation. It was almost unbelievable, the new-found sense of power flooding his senses. Kenny dropped the book and examined his hands, black sparks leaping from finger to finger.
"Cool..." Forgetting the book at his side, Kenny eyed the 3ds on his writing desk and decided to test his new power.
"Levetatum!"
The 3ds wistfully floated into the air, a sparkly black aura surrounding the device.
"Cool..." Kenny then reached out with his mind in an attempt to will the game to him. The 3ds shot into his outstretched and waiting hand, landing solidly in his palm with ease. Kenny cried out in laughter at the trick he performed, marveling at the ease he performed it. He then remembered the book at his side and opened it up once again.
If your quite done I would like to continue our lesson. Seeing as you have already mastered this simple spell, I would like to move on to charms. Charms, or enchantments depending on their magnitude, are what made me possible! Charms often require a more complex level of thought in their creation. Sometimes they even require the use of unique-
"Kenneth! Are you okay!" Kenny's mom, Eliza, came bursting into the room. She had heard his earlier screams from down in the kitchen and had come to find out what was wrong.
Kenny scrambled to come up with an excuse for his earlier outburst whilst hiding the book behind his back. "I, uh, saw a... umm... a spider! Yeah! I saw a spider! It was huge! I threw my shoe at and it scurried off so no problem!" Kenny lied.
"A spider, really dear? Do try to not be so dramatic next time, you nearly gave me a heart attack." Eliza closed the door and returned to the kitchen. Kenny waited until her footsteps were completely gone before opening the book.
Ah good, the rude wench is gone Kenny frowned. As I was saying, charms will sometimes require the use of runes, or even entire circles. A good practice charm is the quick summon charm. First you need to come up with a word of power for summon.
"Apparate." Kenny shamelessly ripped from the Harry Potter series.
Kenny turned the page, Now test it out. Stick with something small.
Kenny looked around the room until his eyes fell on his phone.
"Apparate!" Kenny commanded.
Nothing happened.
Confused Kenny flipped the page in search of answers, Sorry, forgot to mention you have to say the name of the item as well. Give it another try. Kenny rolled his eyes and refocused on his Iphone.
Apparate Phone! The phone vanished in a puff of black smoke and reappeared in front of him with a pop. Kenny chuckled at yet another fun spell that has succeeded. He then looked back to the book for the next step.
Okay, here's the fun part. Take your phone, and before you ask how I know what a phone is remember I can read minds, then focus on the spell you just cast. Kenny did this and turned the page. Now use your finger to trace out these two runes on the device. Below the words were two strange symbols Kenny didn't recognize from any language on Earth. He turned the phone over and, summoning spell in mind, traced the two runes on the back with his thumb. The digit left behind a trail of stark black and pulsating magic. He noticed the pulsations slow down as he went, eventually stopping all together. When he was done, both runes had been crudely copied on to the back in opaque, matte black. Kenny took note that he felt slightly drained, as if he had went for a short run. Kenny looked back to the book.
By now you can probably feel the drain casting a charm has on your mana. Charms and enchantments cost much more mana to cast than a spell. This is because you start something called a magic replenishing cycle. This is the natural cycle that restores your mana over time. Using these runes, you have just replicated the process in your phone. The first rune binds a certain level of magic to your phone. The other rune absorbs the natural mana that floats around us all, invisible to the naked eye.Combined with the spell you cast it creates a magic feeding loop, you activate the charm, the charm uses the phone's mana stores, the rune reabsorbs the lost mana from the surrounding area. To use the charm just think about it and call it to you.
Kenny walked to his deck and placed the phone down. When he got to his bed again he shut his eyes and whispered, "Iphone, come."
A pop and the phone was lying in front of him.
"Huh," Kenny responded, impressed, "You mentioned something about circles. What are those?"
The page afterwards said, Circles are a set of runes organised in a circular pattern. This allows for the effects of a charm to be more varied while focusing them into the confines of the circle. A perfect example would be a portal. Portals are almost impossible to cast without a circle. Time, dimensional plane, location, size of portal, portal duration and filters must all be accounted for when making a portal. A single mistake can be catastrophe. Circles make making one infinitely easier and simpler, allowing the caster to regulate all these things individually and without fear of error.
"Can I take a crack at it?" Kenny asked. He had already proven to be a quick learner, Kenny was sure he could do it.
I don't know... Arcana read, A summoning charm is one thing, portals are another. I'm not sure you're ready for such a level of magic.
"Ohh, come on! It doesn't have to be something like a portal to 54th dimension, just to my buddy's house about seven miles south." Kenny pleaded.
Fine, but you have to do exactly what I say. Got it?
"Got it."
First, clear some space on the floor. Then you need to copy the following circle exactly. The image depicted a circle with a total of three runes arranged in a triangular fashion, each with their own circle, inside. Arcana went on to explain that each of the runes would determine location, time period and also filter out anything that might try to get in (or out) of the portal. Kenny set up the portal at the foot of his bed, on the floor. When it had all been set up he turned the page to next set of instructions.
Now, place your hands on each rune at a time and put in the spells.
Kenny had gotten the filter rune done when his phone beeped. One word later it was in his hand, and Kenny checked his notifications.
"Shit! My Little Pony is on in five minutes!" Kenny yelled. Forgetting the portal he ran out of his room and straight to the family mini cinema (or mini-cini).
Thirty minutes later, Kenny was back in his room after watching the season three finale. He still had the song's bouncing around his skull like a couple of sugar-high Pinkie Pies.
When he returned to the circle he promptly activated it. It took a full thirty seconds for it to charge and left Kenny feeling like he had just run a whole mile. A couple sparks lit up the epicenter of the circle, growing in frequency till a hole opened up dead center. It expanded to the edges of the circle, a swirling, shimmering black hole on the ground.
Kenny stared in awe at the portal. After he was done admiring his work he grabbed Arcana, his phone and his wallet and hopped in.
Without setting a location or date.
Which meant the portal would send him to whatever place he was thinking about.
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Twilight was enjoying a cup of tea with her mentor, good friend and now equal, Princess Celestia. Having just returned from her foray into the human world to retrieve her crown (and meet a boy) she was glad to finally relax and not have to worry about another disaster or catastrophe. Right now they were both sitting silently on a veranda, enjoying the magnificent view that only building a palace on the side of a mountain can give. It was calm, serene and nary a sound except the chirping of birds. This is peace, Twilight thought.
"So, did you two make out?" Celestia asked innocently before taking another sip, never opening her light magenta eyes.
Twilight's mouthful of tea was reduced to mist and she sputtered into a incoherent mess as she tried to process what her teacher just said. She began to babble out half-words and frustrated noises as she attempted to answer without embarrassing herself. She was failing, miserably. And she knew it.
"Calm down Twilight, I was only joking." Celestia said with an amused lilt to her voice. "Your relationships with beings of other dimensions do not concern me. You may love whomever you wish."
Once Twilight calmed down she spoke, "Please don't do that, Princess! You nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Oh, Twilight." Celestia adopted an apologetic tone, "I am sorry if my little joke caused you any genuine distress. You must admit that becoming attracted to a man from a world so unlike our own to be a little amusing. The mirth is doubled when you find that the man in question also has a doppelganger, a certain guard who is not yet aware that he has won the heart of a newly crowned Princess." After Celestia's monologue she gave a quiet, lilting chuckle in response to Twilight's frustrated and embarrassed fuming.
"Princess-"
"Please, Twilight, I've told you to drop the title. We are equals now, there is no need for it."
"Alright, Prin-I mean, Celestia." Twilight giggled a little before continuing, "To answer your question, no we never kissed. I don't regret it either, it would never have worked. But now..."
"Now?" Celestia said, leaning in, obviously invested in the conversation's topic. This was something Celestia had wanted to have happen for years. Over the years she found romance novels to be poor representatives of the real thing. She honestly envied her counterpart for witnessing Twilight's first crush.
Twilight, however, was in a dilemma. After discovering that she can have a relationship with Flash Sentry she quickly realized the one problem, her Flash didn't know anything. She had developed feelings for another, psychologically identical him. It was still him in essence, but one that didn't see anything beyond the princess he was in charge of.
"Celestia, I need your help..." Twilight said, shyly rubbing her foreleg with a hoof.
"Yes?" Celestia inquired. Was this it, she thought, was she finally going to ask?
"I-" She never got further than that, because Shining Armor teleported onto the veranda, breathless.
"Princess Celestia! An unknown creature has infiltrated the castle grounds! We have it apprehended and locked away in a holding cell, but are unsure of how to approach."
Celestia and Twilight shared worried looks. The last time a 'creature' had been seen in Canterlot, it had been followed by the changeling invasion. This new being had infiltrated Canterlot Castle grounds.
"Twilight and I will head to the holding cells immediately, attend to it until we arrive. Has Luna been informed of this?"
"Yes, your highness."
"Then prepare the creature for questioning. Thank you, Shining Armor."
"Of course your highness," Shining turned to his sister, "See you Twily." And teleported off.
"So Twilight, shall we see what threat to the nation it is today?" Celestia said with a straight face.
"After you."
This is your own fault. You should have finished the circle before running off to watch your silly show.
"MLP is not silly! Besides it's a fictional story, how can we be here if ti doesn't really exist! It doesn't make sense!"
Kenny was currently sitting on a simple chair in a simple, but not wholly unpleasant, room. Nothing but white-washed concrete walls and a table. After landing in a rose bush when the portal ejected them, Kenny had strolled around for about five minutes before the guard had found, tackled, tied, and thrown him into this room. It had happened so fast he almost couldn't believe it. In fact he still didn't.
There are literally an infinite amount of dimensions, one of them was bound to contain a real version of this show. Your mind guided us here.
"Well then pull up the circle again and we can go home, I've been here for less than an hour and already I've been jailed. I've had enough MLP for today."
No, you deserve this for not listening to me. You're gonna stay here until I decide you have had enough. Then we go home.
"What come on! Let's talk about this." Kenny flipped through the pages, but no more script revealed itself. Kenny realized he was getting the silent treatment. From a book. "At least teach me something to get out of here. If this place is anything like the last, unicorns and pegasi roam the earth. Wouldn't the little magic book want to see?"
Kenny gave it a minute before turning the page, ...Fine... I'll teach you one of the most useful of all spells in situations like these.
"Is he ready?" Celestia asked the guard.
"Yes, your highness." Replied the guard in the classic, even tone with as much emotion as Tom the boulder.
"Ahh, good. Sister, you're here." Luna came walking down the hall behind them. They were all gathered around the holding cell's door. With Princess Luna having arrived they could begin to question the creature.
"Am I the only one bothered that no one knows what got in here?" Twilight suddenly said out of the blue. "It could be a brand new species! Do we even know it can communicate? It could have come for diplomatic reasons, and we assaulted it and threw it in a cell!"
"To be fair, the guards did the assaulting and tackling." Luna cut in.
"Hush, Sister." Celestia silenced Luna, "We understand your concerns, Twilight, but the changeling invasion proved there is a possibility that this creature could be hostile. Better that Equestria is safe, and that we are left sorry."
Celestia moved to open the door when a shout radiated from behind.
IGNIS!!
"GET DOWN" The guard tackled Celestia to the ground as the door was blown open by a fireball.
Faintly through the smoke, a tall, dark silhouette ran out the door and down the hall, away from the ponies.
"STOP YOU PROPERTY DESTROYING HEATHEN!!!!!" Luna's Canterlot Voice shook the halls and in no way convinced Kenny from stopping his mad dash. Upon seeing this Luna teleported down the hall. Celestia had risen and Twilight was at her side.
"Princess! Are you alright?" Twilight asked, trying her best not to freak out.
"I am fine Twilight." Celestia assured her, "We must hurry, I fear for my Sister."
Twilight gasped in shock, "You're right! She chased after that thing! What will it do to her!"
"You misunderstand, Twilight. I fear what my Sister will do to it."
"That was not the brightest idea." Kenny muttered as he dashed down the halls of Canterlot. He had planned for the spell to burn away at the lock and he would quietly slip out. Instead he had reduced the entire door into flaming splinters.
In front of all three sovereign rulers of said castle.
Fuck, was all Kenny could come up with on the spot.
He turned a corner and mashed his face directly into Luna's, pretty much accidentally giving her the roughest, and shortest, kiss in the known universe. Their teeth clashed, their lips were both lightly bruised, and Luna was left in a stupor. Kenny did nothing more than wipe his lips and run past her, thanking his god that she was too surprised to pursue.
And so Kenny ran. He kept running down hall after hall in search of a way out. Soon he was too tired to run anymore and he opened a random door and quickly stepped in the room. He closed the door and leaned against. He slid into a sitting position on the floor, taking deep, heavy breaths.
"Is someone there?" An accented voice called. The voice was followed by the one and only Prince Blueblood. He took one look at Kenny and was almost about to shriek when Kenny leapt on him. Kenny forced Blueblood on his back and shut his muzzle with one hand and covering his mouth with the other. He sat on Blue blood's belly to stop him from squirming.
"If you make another noise I will burn that pretty mane of yours into cinders got it?" Kenny said in the most threatening voice he could muster. It was then, as he sat hunched over Blueblood, that Kenny realized the little part of ponies. Blueblood was only four and a half feet from hoof to crown, a full foot and half shorter than him. He was really tall in the MLP world, possibly even beating Celestia in height.
Kenny turned his attention back to Blueblood. "I'm going to leave now, if you do anything to alert the guards I will come back, and you can say goodbye to your coat." He warned. Blueblood gave a curt nod. Kenny let him go and watched Blueblood dash to the bathroom again. Kenny went to leave, hoping that he had convinced Blueblood to keep shut. Just as he was about to exit, Kenny heard the sound of cascading water and he knew Blueblood had been dealt with. At least for a time.
Kenny carefully peeked out the door for any guards and when the coast was clear he rushed down the hallway.
Kenny weaved through the castle again, avoiding the guards as he went, until he came upon a large set of double doors. Thinking this a possible way out, or at least a decent place to hide, he quickly dashed in.
Into a conference room that is.
With all three Princesses.
Twilight gave a sharp gasp, a shocked look on her features.
Luna's face seemed stuck between ecstasy and fury.
Celestia only said one thing,
"Speak of Discord..."
Discord's head peeked around the door frame
"Someone say my name?"
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"Discord, leave." Celestia said, her eyes shut and lips set in a firm grimace.
"If you say so, honey bunch!" Celestia looked like she was close to bursting, "If you ever need me just call, 'Stud Muffin!' "
Celestia stamped a hoof and Discord vanished into thin air. Twilight was blushing furiously and Luna seemed to not have noticed anything, still staring down Kenny with that strange look of joy and anger. Kenny, with the spirit of chaos out of the way, decided now, while everyone was distracted, to make a break for it. He took one tentative step back.
Luna's eye's popped at that movement, and with naught but a slight forward tilt of her head she slammed the door and yanked Kenny in to a seat at the head of the table, directly across from Celestia. The noise brought back Twilight from her dirty thoughts, and Celestia from her fantasies of a hundred-and-one-ways to hurt a draconequis. Luna let out a satisfied 'harumph' and leaned back in her seat, eyeing Kenny all the while.
"Well, I guess the first thing to do would be to ensure we can communicate. Do you understand what I am saying?"
"Yes, he can." All heads turned to Twilight. She too was staring at Kenny, but unlike Luna her face was one of awe and mild surprise. "He is a human male. He is young, barely peeking out of adolescence. Maybe eighteen or nineteen years of age, and yet he is unlike any human I have met before."
"Wait," Kenny cut in, shocked at the accuracy of her statements, "You've met other humans? Where?"
"I met your kind when I crossed into the human world a week ago. A better question is how you have magic." Twilight said her eyes narrowing. She profoundly remembered that humans had no magical practice, instead using strange machines to do the seemingly impossible. Humans didn't use magic, lacking both horns and practice. Yet, this one had obviously used it to blow down a solid oak door. With fire nonetheless. What made him special?
"Twilight, if this is a human like you say, wouldn't the question be how he got here? The mirror had closed itself off and not nearly enough time has passed for it to have been opened again. Plus, if the mirror had been reopened, how did he get here and avoid detection?" Celestia offered as rebuttal. Turning to Kenny, "No offense, but you're the worst at subtlety."
"None taken." Kenny nervously replied, trying not to look back at the blue demigod leering at him.
"Regardless," Twilight said, folding her hooves in front of her face, examining Kenny from over the top of them. "The guards do a full body search when they make an arrest. When I asked Shining he said they had found nothing but a glass and metal tablet, a small, empty, leather-bound book and the clothes on his back. Nothing else. So I beg you to ask yourselves, where did he get the means to create a fireball powerful enough to annihilate the cell door?"
Celestia eyes widened as it dawned on her. She acutely remembered Twilight describing the complete lack of magic humans had. So where did the fireball come from? There could only be one logical answer, this human had access to magical powers.
"I will find out." Everyone's' heads turned to Luna. During this entire time she had not said a word and ended up slowly fading into the background. All but Kenny had forgotten she was there. Once she had everyone's attention she stood up and trotted slowly over to Kenny. "Leave him here with me, and I guarantee he will spill out his secrets like a burst wine skin."
Luna gave Kenny an almost predatory smile.
Kenny was glad he had peed before coming here.
Kenny was quick to speak up, "Now there's no need for that! I'll tell you all everything! Just don't leave me alone with her! Please!"
Celestia grinned with her sister, "Well Twilight, let's leave Luna to her work. We'll be back in five Luna, try not to damage him too much."
Kenny froze when he heard Celestia's words. He gave a girlish 'eep!' when he saw that Luna had silently crept closer to him when he wasn't paying attention.
Celestia and Twilight left, Twilight mouthing 'sorry' as she closed the door. She wouldn't be able to shake the helpless look he gave her for several hours.
"She won't really hurt him, will she?" Asked Twilight.
Celestia chuckled and replied with more than a little humor in her voice, "No, Twilight. Luna was the best at psychological warfare back in the day. She'll be able to get everything with little more than some choice words."
"Believe me, she won't lay a hoof on him."
"I've already told you everything! What more do you want more from me!" Kenny screamed as he struggled at the magical binds that had firmly kept his feet and hands secured to the chair. Luna sauntered over to him, an unamused expression spread over her face. She clambered on top of him, chair and all, practically straddling him. She leaned her head into him till her muzzle was right next to his ear and whispered quietly in his ear, "You know what I really wan't don't you? I don't care why or how you got here. All I want right now is you! "
"What the hell are you talking about?" Kenny was thoroughly freaked out by this point. He was pretty sure this was what rape was like.
Rather than answer, Luna locked her lips with Kenny's. Luna melted into the pleasure of the intimate action, one she had not partaken in for one thousand and three years. When she had accidentally run into him earlier that day, the rough kiss had reawakened a part of her that had died on the moon. Kenny, in his part, was catatonic. His brain had been fried by the pure impossibility of what just happened.
Luna pulled away when she had her fill. It had really been to long since she had been kissed and had relished the opportunity when it came. She took Kenny's look of shock as a compliment and released him from his restraints. She decided to give him one of the good rooms of the castle. Like the one next to hers. Yeah.
Knowing Kenny would come out on his own eventually, Luna left to go find her Sister and Twilight, the human hadn't been lying when he said he had told her everything.
"...So the book is keeping him here till it believes that he has had enough. If I remember correctly, the room next to mine is empty?" Luna finished off. After finding Celestia and Twilight in the royal lunch nook Luna had relayed Kenny's entire story to them.
"Wow, poor guy." Twilight sympathized, "I still can't believe that a sentient book exists, much less that it could be so mean."
"It is also sad that we cannot aid him in returning home," Celestia put in, "No one alive knows how to make such a portal to his realm of existence. He will have to stay here until such a time as the book allows him to remake the portal. Until then he will be our own little human ambassador."
"Little?" Twilight said in a joking manner, "He's almost as tall as you! I don't call that little." Everyone enjoyed a small laugh at Twilight's comment, finally releasing all the built up tension from the day's events.
Twilight caught eye of the clock, "Well would you look at that! Sorry, Celestia, but it's time for me to catch a ride home. Send me a letter anytime you want to do this again, alright?"
"Of course Twilight, have a safe trip home!"
Twilight left the room, and Celestia informed a guard of Kenny's new living arrangements.
Then they the two sisters enjoyed the greatest past time ones as old as they can.
Sitting there loving how they don't have to do anything yet.
That's it.
They had been doing just that, one occasionally smiling at the other, when they heard the shouting.
"Sir, it is well known that the Princesses enjoy their private time-"
"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN!!!"
"Sir, I'll have to ask you to-"
"SHOVE OFF!!" The door was promptly kicked open by a very disgruntled Kenneth. His eyes scanned the room till they fell upon the shocked faces of the two princesses. The guard came in behind him and said, "I'm sorry your highness, I tried to stop him but when I did he yelled, 'Fuck the Police' and tilted every painting he saw on the way here."
Kenny's eyes finally landed on Luna, "YOU!!! Why in hell's name did you do that! I mean seriously! At least take me on a date or something first! You know what forget it! Celestia, your sister just made out with me! Against my will! "
The whole room froze except for Kenny, who was panting heavily after his rant.
Celestia whipped to Luna, "Is this true!?"
Luna pointed a hoof at Kenny, "He started it!"
"What the fuck did I do?"
"Surely you remember the fleeting kiss we had in the hall? I thought you were showing your affection!" Luna said, a hint of sadness in her voice.
"You call that face-to-face collision a kiss! No offense, but you need to find a boyfriend!"
"Hold on," Celestia said, "Let's all calm down-"
Then Luna started bawling.
"Sister, what is wrong?"
"HE *hick* DOESN'T LIKE MEEEheeheeee!!!!!" Luna got out between sobs. It was this moment the guard slipped out.
"I'm sorry Luna, but borderline rape isn't how you woo men back home." Kenny stated, "If it makes you feel any better, I don't think any less of you for this. You're too damn cute for me to stay mad at. I'm sure you'll meet some dude who will be able to love you and all that jazz. Just not me okay?"
Luna pulled herself together and gave a curt nod. She then looked at him with her tear filled eyes and asked, "I'm sorry for sexually assaulting you, it's just well..."
"What?"
"I think this only happened because I was in heat."
Kenny was honestly confused, "What?"
"Her hormones are on high right now." Celestia explained. "Luna was always a late bloomer during mating season."
"Wait, WHAT!?"
Author's Note
Super Secret Hidden Easter Egg!!! Can you find it?
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
And that is why I believe that copious amounts of fire can solve anything.
"Fine, but can you teach me how to teleport now? " Kenny asked.
Very well. Teleporting spells are easy, but costly. Moving a person from one spot to another across a single plane means you only have to think about one thing, location. However portals are a methodical punch through time and space. Teleports break you down in one place, and reconstruct you in another. This can use up a lot of mana, especially over distances. Use it wisely. To start, find a magic word of your preference. When you've done that the spell works like this, you have to visualize the location you want to be. Really see it in your mind's eye.
Kenny thought of Teletrans as a usable word. He envisioned the bathroom he had used a minute ago (Did you know pony toilets are low-set versions of regular toilets?). Once he was sure he had it he cast the spell.
"Teletrans... " Kenny muttered. He suddenly felt lighter than air, his vision swam with color and he lost all physical sensation. It had lasted only a fraction of a second before he was back, only this time he was in the bathroom. Teleporting sure had been an interesting experience. "Well I'm already here!" Kenny said to no one in particular, "Now would be an excellent time to take a shower!"
Kenny pulled back the curtain and turned on the faucet. When he stood up he hit his head hard on the shower head, which was a good foot lower than acceptable. After a few choice curses and a rubbing of knots, Kenny got a closer look at the shower head. It was set at exactly below his chin, and angled so that it would hit his chest dead on. He would have to crouch or even sit to properly use the shower at all. Kenny settled for a long, relaxing bath over the quick shower and bed. What the shower lacked in height, it made up in tub size. It was almost a mini Jacuzzi. Kenny turned on the water and brushed his teeth while the tub filled. He had found that a brush and some basic mint toothpaste had been left for him.
His teeth shiny and clean and the tub filled with hot water. Kenny removed his white polo and beige khaki's along with his Rolex and boxers. He slipped into the warm water and let out a sigh of content. He had long forgotten the pure joy of simply sitting in a tub of water.
He sat like this for a while, simply soaking in the bath.
Luna dashed through the royal palace's vast kitchen, grabbing various ingredients and a large salmon. Celestia simply stood back and watched Luna prepare their guest's meal.
"You know this won't work right?" Celestia said before munching on an apple purloined from the pantry. "You ruined any chance with him when you molested him during your questioning, which was really wrong no matter what way you spin it."
"I care not!" Luna said, almost proudly. She began filleting the fish, preparing the oven, and chopping up various greens all at once with her magic. "He has been the first to even partially satisfy the needs that all creatures of the earth share since my banishment. I also find him kinda cute." She stated the last comment matter-of-factly. The two fillets were thrown into a baking pan with some onions and carrots, various marinades and spices liberally sprinkled over it all. "He has an exotic charm to him, and a personality that I have not seen in any of my previous lovers."
Celestia quirked an eyebrow at this, "Really? Pray tell what his personality is after only having met an hour ago."
"Simple, one who does not fear the wrath of one who can easily crush him." Luna said with a smile. She placed the dish into the oven and set the timer. Then she began setting a plate with the collared greens she had chopped earlier.
"What?" Celestia asked, honestly confused. "If I recall he ran rather than face us when we first came to him."
"Oh, but that was him performing a daring break-out. He wasn't running in fear, he was running to once again embrace freedom." Luna said as she arranged the plate, occasionally garnishing with little streaks of oil and vinegar. Her eye's gained a misty, far-away look as she continued, "He is also the only to ever stand up to me. No stallion or gryphon of any status has done that. To find someone so brave as to confront an alicorn, and not end up being another power-crazy maniac, is refreshing and comforting."
Celestia's features softened, "Luna, I understand completely how you feel, but we both know any interest you currently have in him is because you are on an emotional high from your estrus. Do you really want to go to all this trouble to win some stranger's affection when your own feeling's will fade by the end of the month?"
Luna finished setting the plate, then she looked straight into the wall seemingly lost in thought. "Be that as it may be, I do not wish to regret never having tried. Regardless, he will one day return home, and when he leaves I will prefer that I know that it wouldn't have happened rather then living on asking myself 'what if?'"
"Luna..."
"I know sister, it isn't about me. I at least want to try and make up for my deplorable actions earlier today. We will see if he truly does not want me."
Celesta solemnly watched as Luna opened the oven and removed the salmon. Luna gently placed the fillets on a bed of collared greens with a side of rice and assorted veggies. When she was sure it was all perfect she set the plate on a silver platter and covered it.
"Shall I call a servant to have it delivered?"
"No, I plan to give him this myself."
There was utter silence as Luna pushed the door open, the dish floating lazily behind her. Kenny's room was empty and not a noise could be heard. Luna silently strolled into the room, looking around for any sign that Kenny was still in the room.
As she took her last step to being entirely in the room, Kenny slid out of the steaming bathroom wearing nothing but his shirt, socks and a pair of Rainbow Dash themed underwear, completely oblivious to his audience. His Ipod, sitting on the nightstand, blared out another couple iconic notes.
Then Kenny burst into song, "Just take those old records off the shelf! I'll sit and listen to'em by myself! Today's music ain't got the same soul! I like that old time of rock'n roll!"
Luna just stared with an open jaw as Kenny danced across the room to a type of music she had never experienced. A light blush began to grow on her cheeks as she watched the fervent, almost primal, display.
"Don't try to take me to a Disco! You'll never even get me out on the floor! In ten minutes I'll be late for the door! I like that old time of rock'n roll!" Kenny began to gyrate his hips in rhythm to the song. Luna's blushed increased ten-fold and she began to slowly walk back out, Kenny still dancing and singing all the while.
Celestia had been waiting just outside the door for when Luna would be unavoidably shot down. She hadn't expected Luna to return so quickly.
"He didn't let you down too hard did he?" Celestia asked, fearing for Luna's often sensitive emotions. Her concern vanished when she saw Luna's face as Luna finally turned towards her. She wore a smile not unlike that of a school-filly, a powerful blush dominating her face.
Celestia fixed her sister with a glare. "What happened?" She growled.
Luna snapped out of her trance. "N-nothing!"
"What HAPPENED!" Celestia yelled.
Luna dropped the salmon and began to run, "I'll never tell you!"
"GODDESS DAMN IT LUNA!!!!!"
They both ran up and down the halls like a couple of mad-mares. Kenny stuck his head out of his room looking for the source of the commotion. When he saw the silver dome on the floor he promptly lifted it and looked inside.
"Salmon!? My favorite!"
Kenny was sitting in the Normandy's starboard observation deck, enjoying the view of the Citadel as the ship flew towards the mass relay. It was an excellent view, the nebula's pink clouds giving off an unearthly glow that brought peace to Kenneth's mind. He layed back in his chair and soaked it all in. He was happy.
"Wow..."
Kenny nearly got whiplash when he heard Luna's voice.
"I have never seen anyone with a dream quite like this one." Luna was laying on the floor soaking in the same great view as Kenny. Kenny, however, was currently having a mental breakdown as combination of what she just said and the implications of her presence hit him full speed.
"What are you doing here?!"
Luna looked up sadly at him, "I wanted us to make up. I even made you dinner, but you were too sexy."
"What!?"
"Either way, I am here to make amends. By the way, how was the dinner?"
Kenny just stared at her like she had grown two heads.
"Oh dear, I've made things worse haven't I?" Luna said pitifully, her ears drooping. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." She said, punctuated by her hoof smacking her forehead.
"Look," Luna said after she was done reprimanding herself. "All I want is for us to be friends. I know that you really don't want me the way I want you, but that will fade in a week or two. I just don't want you to hate me is all." Luna looked hopefully back up at Kenny. Kenny's expression had shifted from shock to mild surprise and finally to pity. Luna really wanted to make things right, Kenny saw that.
Kenny took a breath before responding, "I already told you its fine-"
"But it isn't fine!" Luna yelled as she leapt on him, pressing her hooves into his shoulders and staring him right in the eyes. "I took advantage of you! In my day such actions were met with swift and brutal justice! I let my emotions get the best of me! I used you like some common sex toy!"
"Luna, it was just a kiss."
Luna pushed off Kenny and continued her rant, "And I can't stop thinking about it either! It was great! It was the best I've had in such a long while! I just-aaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Luna screamed at the top of her lungs. Kenny was, as any man would be, confused as to what had set her off.
"Are you okay?" Kenny asked innocently.
"I AM NOT OKAY!!!" Luna screamed, "ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT IS RUTTING!!!!"
"Maybe I should go?" Kenny gingerly asked, getting up from his seat.
"No, no, I'm fine." Luna said, taking deep breaths. "Just- Let's start over, okay?" Luna said. She sat up and stuck out a hoof. "Hello, I am Princess Luna of Equestria. It is a great pleasure to meet you."
Kenny sat back down and reached for the hoof warily, ready should she explode again. Eventually he grasped the moonstone slipper covered hoof and they shook. "Hi, I'm Kenneth Washington Lee. Everyone calls me Kenny though."
"All right, then I shall call you Kenny as well. Tell me, have you ever been in a lucid dream?"
Kenny's interest rose at this, "No, what is it like?"
Luna gave a coy smile, "You're doing it now."
Kenny looked around him and finally realized where he was. He was on the Normandy, in space!
His gaze eventually landed back on the sweet smile that Luna was giving him.
"What can we do?" He asked.
Luna adopted a mischievous look, "Anything."
Celestia slowly creaked open the door to her sister's room. After she had chased her through half the castle, Luna had finally realized that she could teleport and had locked herself in her room. Enchantments and a magically reinforced lock had stopped Celestia from entering earlier, but now Luna was sleeping and the enchantments had worn off. Celestia now only wanted to check that her sister was okay.
Luna lay curled into a little ball, her hooves holding a pillow close to her body and a joyous smile graced her pristine features. Celestia couldn't help but smile, glad once again to have her little sister back. She turned to leave when Luna mumbled out the most confusing phrase Celestia has ever heard.
"That's right." Luna said with a sneer, "This blue princess has a whole biotic bomb ready for you Cerberus scum."
Author's Note
Boy, I hope the ending lives up to Luna's expectations!
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"So the Asari are all female?" Luna had been talking to Kenny all morning as they ate breakfast in his room. Kenny had been entertaining his guest with Mass Effect lore. Luna was enjoying some donuts with a rich mocha.
"In a way, technically they have no gender, but when they mate with other species they will be the one to give birth. Also their mating process will work with any sentient species, regardless of gender." Kenny said before taking another bite of his honey oat cereal. "My personal favorite are the Krogan," He said around his mouthful of oats. "There big, mean, and can take quite the licking."
"Not unlike the Gryphons of old." Luna commented. "Were they the large reptilian ones I saw in your dream?"
"Yeah." Kenny answered, taking another spoonful of cereal.
"Human's have quite the imagination. It is also good to hear that someone out there appreciates the stars as much as I do."
"Hah! Humans have always been fascinated with the night sky. This one dude, Galileo, was almost killed because his ideas about what was up there was different from the orthodox."
Luna nearly spit her coffee, her hoof clamped over her mouth. She swallowed before answering, "Really? Nothing like that has ever happened here! To think that your people are so passionate about the night sky..."
"You know..." Kenny said, swallowing his cereal. "We walked on the moon too."
"WHAT!?" Luna yelled, eyes wide. "How!? It takes my sister and I's power combined to even attempt such a feat! Without magic it should be impossible!"
"Well we did it, and without a single drop of magic." Kenny said smugly.
"Truly humans are an amazing race! If we could establish a more permanent connection with your world the possibilities would be endless! Nothing would be outside our grasp!"
Kenny wholeheartedly laughed at Luna's last comment. She turned to him with a deeply offended look, a light blush on her cheeks. When Kenny caught her gaze he pulled himself together to explain, "Luna, humans are notoriously bull-headed and stubborn creatures, especially when they are put in groups. We have a Congress that hasn't agreed on anything for a while now."
"I thought a congress was a group of baboons?" Luna said in all seriousness.
"HAHhah hah hah! HAHHAH hah! L-Luna you are the best. I mean, just, wow. That was great." Kenny continued to chuckle, oblivious to Luna's sudden shyness and blush, both results of his compliment.
A rapping came from the door followed by the voice of a guard, "Your highness, Celestia would like us to remind you that you have a meeting with the delegates from Appleloosa."
"I'll be right there!" Luna called out to the guard. She turned back to Kenny, who was finishing up his oats. "Well, duty calls. We should do this again, I really want to hear more about your home."
Kenny sipped up the sweet milk in his bowl and wiped his mouth with his shirt sleeve. "Sure, go ahead and give me a call when you want to do this again."
"I'll make sure to do that. Is there anything you'll need before I go?"
"Actually yes." Kenny said as he looked at his wrinkled and dirty shirt. "Do you know a good place to get new clothes?"
"Svand svill!" Said the royal clothier, Perfect Fit, or as she said it 'Verfeck Veet.' "Your grotesque size is alveady making vit divicult to measure you. Moving does not help."
"Well I wouldn't be so fidgety if I hadn't been standing here for close to half an hour! " Kenny was at his wit's end with Perfect Fit. The tailor back home never took this long when he was making his suits, why is the pony taking so long on measuring!
"Vell ev you don't vant new clothes..." Perfect Fit said, rolling up her measuring tape with a snap of her hoof.
"Sorry, it's just this is taking way too long! What's the hold up!"
Perfect Fit gave him an incredulous look, "Pervaps vit is because your physique is not equine, no? Or pervaps you thought that I knew how to make the clothes for v'one such as you of the top off mine head?"
Kenny scratched his head in embarrassment as he realized the truth behind her words, "Again, sorry, but are you almost done? I can only do this for so long before-"
"I know, I know. You vish to move on and do other things. It is understandable for v'one your age. Ev you stand still a coupvle minutes more, you may leave."
They moved on, and soon Perfect had stopped her measurements and was working in the small journal she kept on her at all times.
"Can I go now?" Kenny asked.
"In a minute, I need to examine ze make of your clothes. It vould make my job much easier."
"What?" Kenny more said than asked. "I-I mean, um, sure. Yeah, whatever."
"Does zis make you uncomfortable?" Perfect asked with genuine concern.
Kenny swallowed down his embarrassment and shook his head no. He pulled of his shirt and pants and kicked them over to Perfect Fit. He had done this with closed eyes, pretending that he wasn't being watched by someone else. When he finally opened his eyes again he was surprised to find that his clothes hadn't been touched and that, instead, Perfect Fit was staring at him. Closer examination of her gaze revealed that she was looking at his crotch! Kenny looked down and saw nothing out of the ordinary, just his plain, white underwear.
"You did not tell me you vore anything else. I assumed you wore so much of this clothing to make up vor your lack of vur. I must ask, vhy do you vear all this?" Perfect Fit had been giving the benefit of the doubt to Kenny during this entire process. She could no longer do this, she has never heard of anything wearing clothes all over, all the time. The only thing that has ever come close are the pompous nobles who strut around the palace.
Kenny, for his part, didn't know how to answer. "I-I don't really know. I guess it started way back when as a way to survive the cold in winter, but as time went on modesty kicked in. Not having clothes on has become a shameful taboo. It's just not right for us."
"But vhy? Vhat is vrong with being vithout the cloth?"
"Again, I don't know! It was a social rule that was set up long before I was born."
"That still doesn't explain the small amount you wear to cover your genitals." Perfect Fit pointed out with her hoof as well as her words.
"Well, now that I think about it, I think it was to prevent chaffing on our more sensitive bits. If anything, it at least adds an extra layer between our baby-makers and the elements."
"That is too much information." Perfect Fit said. "Vell, I have to ask you to remove your undervear."
"What!?" Kenny exclaimed, his hands instantaneously covering the area in question. "NO!"
"If you vant underwear, you vill have to take that pair off." Perfect Fit said.
"Fine! Then I'll just wear these from now on!" Kenny retorted, crossing his arms and turning away from her. Perfect Fit sneaked over and grabbed his underwear. In one swift motion she pulled both the underwear and him off his feet. Before he could react, Perfect Fit ran into her workshop and locked the door.
Kenny ran to the door, "Give them back! I don't want to be seen like this!"
"Nov'one is coming, human. Now be quiet while I work." After that, no matter what he said, silence reigned from the door. Kenny eventually gave in and, holding his hands firmly over his crotch, waited for her to finish. Eventually, he began to relax, hands moving from his crotch and instead supporting his head as he waited.
"Jesus this is boring..."
Celestia was on her way to speak with Kenny. She believed he deserved to know what Luna was doing, lest he ends up being forced into an uncomfortable position. She retreated from her thoughts as she neared his door. She gave a light knock and quietly waited for a response. When none came she opened the door and called inside.
"Kenny? Are you in here? I need to talk to you about Luna." All she heard was the light echo of her voice as it bounced around the empty room. The sheets were still messy and Kenny's and Luna's breakfast's were still lying on the large mattress. Celestia heard a maid's cart come down the hall and turned to see the service-mare in question.
"Excuse me, do you know what happened to the resident of this room?" The maid, a younger mare with a sea-foam green coat and fuchsia mane, stopped her cart and looked at the room in question. "Oh,yeah. The tall freaky monkey dude, right? I heard he was getting clothes from Perfect Fit downstairs. Beyond that I have no idea were he could be, your highness."
"Thank you, my little pony. I will let you continue your work." Celestia gave a little bow and went to go find Perfect Fit's workshop. After a walk through some of the service halls and down an elevator she found herself in front of Perfect Fit's workshop. She took note that the sign on her door was turned to the 'Available' position and walked inside.
To see Kenny sitting in a meditative position, completely exposed to all.
Celestia's face turned beet red at the sight and she quickly closed the door on her way out.
"So that's why he wears clothes..."
"WHAT!" The shriek shook the walls of Canterlot palace.
"Calm down sister, it was an unintentional peek. I don't even think he knows it happened..."
Several minutes earlier...
"YOU FILTHY LIAR!!!" Came Kenny's voice as he pounded on Perfect Fit's workroom door. Perfect Fit rushed to finish the clothes she was working on, quite possibly the only thing that would save her from the wrath of this enormous rage monster.
"...Either way, it's not like I suddenly have the hots for him because I saw his alien junk. Last I checked that was your thing..." Celestia gave her sister a cheeky smile.
Luna glared at her, "You better not..."
"I wonder, what was it about dear old Atticus that caught your eye so?"
"Silence sister! Atticus and I's love was but a drunken tryst! It has never counted!"
"Didn't he propose marriage shortly after?" Celestia said with a pseudo-innocent hoof over her grinning lips.
"That gryphon noble was pushed into it by his overbearing father! Even he agreed the night was a fluke!"
"But Lunaaa~" Celestia said in a sing-song voice, "He went to all that trouble to get you your refined moon-stone regalia.~ You know, the ones you always wear?"
"SHUT UP!"
"Am I interrupting something?"
Celestia and Luna both turned to see that the newly appointed guard for their human guest, Flash Sentry, was standing at the door of the sister's favorite lounge. Celestia was the first to speak, "No, my little pony. What is it you need?"
Flash Sentry straightened, "Mam, my charge requests permission to see Princess Luna, alone."
Celestia adopted a confused look and turned to Luna to find that she was wearing an ecstatic expression. She quickly got up and moved for the door. "Where is he!"
"In his room eating lunch."
"K, thanks, bye!"
Luna was out the door and down the hall way before Celestia could utter a word.
Author's Note
Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Share what your thankful for in the comments!
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"What law is there against mind-reading spells?" Kenny asked a slightly dissapointed Luna. She reprimanded herself for allowing her to think that Kenny would have such a swift change of heart. Instead she allowed herself to be confused by his request.
"Mind-reading without consent is severely illegal and punishable by at least twenty-five years in prison."
Kenny shook his head in an affirmative, a stern look on his face. "Then we won't get caught. Simple. Luna, you and I are gonna find who saw me naked and erase the memory from their mind." He said with a seriousness that was harder than the marble that made up the floor of the room. "As my only magically inclined friend in this world thus far, you are the only one I can trust to assist me with this task."
Luna shook away the blush she had gotten when he had mentioned her being his friend, "You know how crazy this sounds right? I fail to see why someone having seen you naked is causing you so much distress."
"It, it.. It's just so wrong! I mean to see me in most vulnerable moment. The embarrassment is killing me." Kenny sat with a *plomp* on a cushy pillow seat. "I mean, no one but my mother and father has seen me in the nude!"
Luna suddenly got a devious idea. "Well maybe if you were naked more we could desensitize you."
Kenny gave her the evil eye, "No really, it can all be explained by psychology! Wearing clothes simply to cover yourself has caused a subconscious message in your brain that you must cover yourself so as to ward off the shame of being as exposed as you say. In order to repress the sense that you have done something wrong by being seen naked, you must expose yourself to more ponies and see that they will hold no ill will against you for it. Doing this will break that subconscious message and probably get some self-esteem while your at it." Luna finished her lecture and looked to Kenny for a response. His face no longer bore a look of contempt but one of deep thought and consideration. He was actually thinking of doing it!
"I don't know... I mean, what if it doesn't work? Then I'll have flashed any number of people and be even more ashamed then I am now."
"I don't think you have a choice. You are currently residing in a world where every known sentient being is technically naked ninety percent of the time. No other species suffers from the sense of taboo you have surrounding nudity." It was Kenny's turn to blush as Luna's movement had placed her with her posterior to him just as she had said 'naked'. Luna smiled when she saw him avert his gaze out of the corner of her eye. It took a surprising amount of will to stop herself from flagging him.
Luna turned back to him with her lusty grin swapped out for a look of friendly concern, "Kenny, the body is a beautiful thing. You have no reason to be ashamed of how you look. Now, I think this should be treated like removing a band-aid." Luna said the last sentence with a matter-of-fact tone, he horn lighting up. "You have to rip it off before you second guess-yourself. Are you ready to try this?"
"I-I guess, ho-" Before he could finish his sentence Luna used her magic to rip away all of his clothes before he could react, leaving him fully exposed and on his arse for the second time today. Luna took in the sight with all the glee of a school-filly, drinking in the unobstructed view she had been working to achieve. Kenny was furiously blushing and trying his best to not curl up into a tiny little ball. In his inner torment he didn't notice the small smile that came to Luna's lips or the intense blush turning her face a deep magenta.
"C-can I put my clothes back on now?" Kenny feebly asked.
"No!" Luna quickly said with a stern face. "You will continue to lie naked until you are no longer embarrassed."
"C'mon! I don't want to sit naked like this for that long!"
"I don't see why not. You are by no means unattractive. Strange, yes, but in an exotic, alien way. I find your muscle tone quite impressive as well." Luna wasn't lying. Kenny had worked to keep himself in shape, constantly going out for swims in his pool and working in his father's small personal gym when he got bored of playing his games. As a result, Kenny sported the body of a surfer, lean with decent muscle tone and little body fat. Luna found his body tugged at the deep instinctual desire that all mares had, the desire for a mate that could easily hold his own in this world. Kenny easily held that look.
"R-Really?" Kenny asked shyly. Luna wanted to kick whoever caused his incredibly low self-esteem in the teeth.
"Of course! You look like a prime example of your kind! Surely you have a marefriend back home?" Luna found herself wanting to smack her head in the wall with that last comment. The last thing she wanted to know was that he already had a-
"No."
Luna barely contained the massive flood of happiness from escaping her and blowing her cover. "Really? Why in heavens name not?"
Kenny had visibly relaxed at this point, his body no longer tense from trying to restrain his embarrassment. He was subconsciously closing up, knees curling up to his chest and his arms holding them in, but it was progress nonetheless. Luna was proud to see her idea had worked, a nice bonus on top of seeing him in the nude.
"I attended an all boys boarding school back home, I didn't really have very many opportunities to talk to girls. And the ones I did meet were at my parent's parties, and they only cared about how much money they would get if we married. Luckily my parents weren't ones to get me in an arranged marriage."
Luna sympathized with him, that story about Atticus wasn't a fabrication. One Gala long ago, Atticus had been visiting from Grpyhland when he had met Luna they shared a couple drinks and hit off. Sadly they got a little to loose with their drinks and ended up waking up in Luna's personal quarters. They both agreed that it had been a mistake and moved on, but Atticus's father saw this as a chance to tie his family to the up and coming Equestrian world power. Soon after Atticus was being forced into courting Luna in hopes of eliciting a marriage. Neither Atticus or Luna ever allowed a marriage to arrive. Under the guise as a present for her hand, he had sent her the regalia she always wore as an apology and a sign of friendship. Now she never took them off, they were a reminder of one of the best friends she ever had.
"Well if it makes you feel any better, I can guarantee that no one here will try at your hand for monetary gain."
Kenny's eyes widened as he took what she had said in a different direction then she had meant. "You're right! My money doesn't work here! I'm broke, penniless even! How will I get by? What will I do for work? I don't have any marketable skills!"
Luna deadpanned, astonished that he was so blind to where he currently was. She walked up to him and slapped him with a moonstone covered hoof. "Kenny, snap out of it. You are currently under the protection of the crown as an ambassador, guaranteed to be provided any desires you harbor, within reason. Bits are the least of your problems."
Kenny idly rubbed his cheek where she had slapped him. "Sorry, I've never had to worry about money before. I forgot that even now money isn't important."
Kenny got up and pulled Luna into a hug. Luna gave a little squeak when she found herself being pressed against him, her fur rubbing up against smooth skin. It was a strange sensation that she enjoyed immensely. "Thanks Luna, you've done more for me in the last two days then any of my friends back home have done in years. I'm glad we can be friends."
Luna would have responded if she weren't working so hard to quell the arousal she was getting from the full-body contact she was receiving, something that pony anatomy didn't often allow for in any situation except those that involved far more intimate activities. She settled for simply hugging him back and breathing in his musky, alien scent.
When Kenny tried to let go, Luna's forehooves kept him firmly in place. "Uh, Luna? You can let go now."
"Oh, sorry." Luna let him go. "I was glad to help out."
"I could tell. Now that I don't want to hunt down whoever saw my jewels why don't we grab something to eat before we do that lucid dreaming thing again?"
Luna perked up at his suggestion, mainly the part about the dreams. "Sure! If you want to do that we should drink apple juice. It helps ease the brain into lucid dreams."
"Cool"
They both headed for the door. When Kenny opened it he found himself face to face with Celestia. Kenny smiled and said, "Oh! Hi! We were heading down to grab an early dinner and get to bed. Wanna come?"
Celestia and Luna's eyes widened at his unintentional innuendo.
"You go ahead." Luna said to Kenny. She fixed her sister with a glare, "I want to have a word with my sister."
Kenny caught the tone in her voice, "Okie dokie lokie, I'm out."
When Kenny was well out of earshot Luna began her venomous tirade, "I am only two years younger than you sister. You do not need to coddle me anymore. I am capable of making my own decisions."
Celestia fixed her younger sister with a stern gaze, "Luna, you were just asked by a fancy of yours to meet in his bedroom, alone. While you are in heat, nonetheless."
"Kenny would never take advantage of me."
"I never thought he would, Luna." Luna went silent at her words. "Tell me, which one of you set up the sound-barrier around the room?"
Again Luna was left speechless.
"Luna, despite how he treats you, you are still practically a demigod. I don't want a repeat of what happened on his first day. Then, it was only a kiss, but what if you can't keep a hold on yourself again? Luna, I'm not worried about you. You are right, you are a fully grown mare more than capable of making your own decisions. Then we go into heat, and every mare on this planet goes crazy for dicks."
Luna finally looked back at her sister, tears in her eyes. Celestia pulled her into a hug. "Ohh, Luna... I know this is going to hurt, but you have to promise me you won't give yourself the chance to take advantage of him. Until your heat passes, you must never be alone with him."
Luna was devastated, "Even in our dreams?"
Celestia wholeheartedly laughed when she heard this, prompting the disgruntled princess to wholeheartedly to sock her sister in the shoulder. "S-sorry." Celestia got out between chuckles. "Luna, you know your heat doesn't extend to your dreamscapes. I want you to keep doing this with him. I haven't seen you like this since Atticus all those years ago. Even if things don't escalate like you want them to." She pulled her distraught sister into a hug. "After that Nightmare, you need a friend. Someone who you can talk to and will understand your thoughts. Kenny can be that friend."
Celestia pulled back and looked at Luna, both of them sharing a sad smile. Celestia let Luna go and Luna dried her eyes with a forehoof.
"Go get him tiger." Luna nodded and headed down to the dining hall.
Celestia watched her go with a proud smile on her face. When Luna had been gone Celestia spoke, "You boys are really lucky she didn't notice you. She wouldn't be nearly as forgiving as I am being right now. But If I here a word about this, you're going to wish I chose to punish you now."
Both of Luna's personal Night Guards ran out from behind a tapestry like their lives depended on it.
"Good."
Author's Note
DON'T GET USED TO THIS! THIS IS ENTIRELY A COINCIDENCE! I WILL PROBABLY NEVER UPDATE THIS QUICKLY AGAIN!
Consider it a Thanksgiving present! ;)
Shout-Out to Ozone for the apple juice tip! Thanks Bro!
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Luna deeply regretted telling Kenny that he was still naked. He had gotten so comfortable in his skin that he had made it all the way to the dining hall, and his only comment had been was that it was a little chilly. During dinner Luna had made an offhand comment about his lack of clothing and how proud she was that he had so quickly adapted to Equestrian fashion. Kenny had rather unexpectedly dropped everything and looked down, followed by a scream and a mad dash to his room. He would later press the various ponies that had seen him about why they didn't say anything. They all said the same thing.
They barely noticed it.
Luna had thought that this revelation would boost his self esteem and she could get more looks at his 'equipment'. Sadly it did the exact opposite. Soon, Kenny was suffering from mild depression caused by sudden thoughts about his 'size'. He now wore clothes to cover up an entirely different type of shame. Luna assured his worries were unfounded and that he was not, as he said, "Smaller than a glue-stick."
It took a couple days and a couple nights of Ice-dream treats for him to get over it.
Regardless of Kenny's temporary Napoleon Complex, Luna and he did have fun together during their dreams. The first night had been pirates. This was followed by Star Trek, mainly because Luna wanted to see more examples of human dreams of space. Tonight, however, it was Kenny's turn to choose their location. Being ever the gracious host, he stuck to the trend of sci-fi.
"Get down!" Luna heard Kenny yell from his intercom. She ducked behind cover just as the four-legged robot, ADSD Kenny had called it, let loose another volley of target-seeking missiles. They exploded harmlessly on the rock formation, doing little to the super-dense stone. Luna poked out over cover again to fire another high-explosive shell from her weapon at the spider-like drone. She watched as the fiery shell's arc ended with a direct hit on it's large, red eye. The metal being shuttered before finally collapsing. Luna slowly rose out of her cover until she saw Kenny's white-and-red helmet shake fervently across the way. He used his gloved hands to point downwards. Getting the message, Luna ducked down for what felt like the fiftieth time. She was down only a second before the machine exploded, metal fragments launching every direction.
"Okay, it should be safe now," Luna heard over her helmets intercom. Levitating her weapon to it's holster on her hip she moved around the rock formation, following Kenny's movements on her heads up display. She noticed that his bio-metric read-out was yellow.
"What happened to you?" Luna asked him over the intercom. As he turned the corner into the open she saw a large scorch mark over the right side of his white armor. He limped and stumbled, nearly falling only to be caught by Luna. Luna laid him over her back and dragged him towards the healing station. She looked up into the glowing blue visor of her friend as she dragged him.
"Bastard caught me when I went to take a shot." Kenny's voice spoke over the intercom. It was strained and raspy, no doubt by the pain of his wounds. She pleaded with him earlier to allow her to block out the pain for him, but he stoutly refused, saying that it helped with his immersion.
When they reached the station Kenny stood with a little help from Luna. The station's arms opened and Luna saw his condition turn from yellow to green. She let out a quiet sigh, glad that he was okay.
"Luna, it's only a dream. The worse that can happen is we wake up." Kenny said.
"I know, but I don't like you getting hurt."
"Well, we've been here what? At least a day. Maybe we should call it a night?"
"Yeah, sure." Luna didn't like to wake up. It meant going back to dick obsessed hell.
Luna groggily woke up and sat up on her bed. Her starry mane was in disarray and she blinked away her sleepiness. She got up and started her morning routine, brushing her teeth and preparing a cold shower. Once her teeth were back to sparkly white she jumped into the cold water.
And regretted it. This morning the ice cold water didn't provide the relief she wanted but rather a shock that made her want to curl up and die. She crawled out of the shower, begging for warmth. When her magic had turned on the hot water she ventured back into the now luke-warm water glad for the warm water's embrace. That's when it hit her.
"I'm not in heat!" She let out a cheer of victory and hurried to finish her shower. She only wanted to do one thing right now.
Find Kenny.
"Knight to G5"
Kenny was playing a game of chest with Flash Sentry, the two had both played the game moderately before and the match had been a long one. Flash had pushed Kenny's pieces into a literal corner. His queen and a pawn were the only things stopping him from claiming victory.
Kenny smiled as the enchanted piece slid into position. "Queen to F6!" The queen slid into the space occupied by one of Flash's pawns. The enchanted ethereal women brought down a mace on the small pawns head and the figure vanished in a puff of smoke. "Checkmate" Kenny said with a grin.
Flash stared in awe. Kenny had used the pieces that had protected his own king from harm into a cage. He had trapped his own piece.
"Goddess damnit!" Flash yelled as the queen killed his king.
Kenny was dancing his trademark victory dance, a spectacle of arms, legs and, yes, butts.
Then Luna came bursting in like a comet and into Kenny. She breathed in deep his scent and rubbed herself like a cat on him. Kenny was blushing furiously as Luna did her questionable actions. Flash, like any guard worth his metal, simply turned his head to the princess's actions. Once Luna had thoroughly saturated herself with Kenny she checked for any signs of arousal and was happy to find none present.
She then turned back to Kenny and gave him a quick peck on the cheek and a thank you before rushing off to see her sister.
Flash Sentry was first to break the silence, "Duuude..."
"What just happened?"
"Luna! Luna happened! The Princess has the hots for you man! Do you know what I would give to date a Princess?"
"What?"
Flash paused, he hadn't expected that, "Anything!"
"I hope to god this isn't a sign of trouble down the road..." Kenny said ominously as he sat up.
"How could having a Princess for a marefriend mean trouble?"
"You haven't had her tongue down your throat."
Flash's jaw dropped.
"Sister! The urge to rut is gone! I can finally enjoy my time with Kenny without dirty thoughts!"
Luna opened her eyes to find Celestia was not, in fact, listening. How could she when she was passed out in bed, an open bottle of champagne on the desk and a content smile on her lips. This did little to dissuade Luna. Her sister had been the one to urge her on, she deserved to know.
Luna went to her sister's bedside and shook her. She got little more than a groan in response.
"Wake, Sister. I have news I want to share with you." Luna said, intensifying her shakes. Celestia's horn lit up and teleported her sister out the room and sealed it off from any and all magic breaches, something Celestia had perfected over years of dealing with particularly talented unicorn stalkers.
"Fine, don't rejoice in my own happiness." Luna said, turning her nose to the air and trotting back to Kenny's room.
"Excuse me sir, but why are we doing this?"
Flash and Kenny were currently behind a barricade of furniture that blockaded the door from any physical entry. Kenny was reading up on various barrier spells from the Arcana.
"We are preparing for the second coming of the Princess. I fear that her hormones have gotten the better of her, and now she wishes to drag me away to be her boy toy." Kenny responded as the Arcana told him how barriers work, Barriers are a form of protective spell. These spells can be wired in different ways. Some are self restoring, others have preset health and times. I recommend a large tank barrier. This Luna you have been hanging with could easily punch through a restorative barrier.
Kenny closed his eyes and focused on the doors and whispered, "Aegis..." A translucent, black wall of mana appeared in front of them, encompassing the entire door in its presence.
"Okay were set. There's no way she can get in." Kenny said.
"I still don't get it. Are like Princesses undesirable in your culture or something? This is the chance of a lifetime!"
"Flash, as much as I like you bro, you really need to understand one thing. I have only ever had two girlfriends, and I was raised in a very old fashioned household. I don't want my first time to be taken from me by a sex crazed Princess who's gonna forget it the moment her hormones regulate."
Flash still wasn't sure if he really understood, but settled with taking Kenny's word for it. Whether or not he wanted to do royalty was up to him.
"Kenny! Are you in there? I need to tell you something!" Luna's voice made Kenny jump into a defensive position.
"Kenny? Why is there a shield on the door? Are you okay?"
Kenny remained poised for action. His breath was deep and regular.
"Kenny! Talk to me!" Luna's voice carried a hint of indignant anger.
Kenny's heartbeat quickened.
"Kenny!? Why aren't you answering!?" Now fear seeped in.
Flash was getting uneasy, he didn't like the desperation in Luna's voice. He's heard stories of mothers who could lift carts off foals when necessary. He didn't want to know what Luna would do to reach his human charge.
Suddenly Luna's voice was behind them, "Kenny! You're okay!"
Kenny turned and screamed like a little girl as Luna wrapped him into an innocent, friendly hug. Kenny's scream died in his throat as he realized he wasn't experiencing equine rape.
Luna pulled back and fixed him with a stern gaze, "Don't scare me like that. Why did you set all this up? Did something happen while I was gone?"
"You.. wha- how? I thought... huh?" Kenny sputtered as he tried to speak and process what had happened at the same time. Soon he gave up and gladly accepted that his pants were still on. Luna realized what had happened and blushed in embarrassment over her mistake. She moved all the furniture to their appropriate places and asked Flash Sentry to leave them. Flash went to say that he couldn't with the barrier up to find that the barrier in question shatter by a single blast from Luna's horn, leaving everything else intact. Flash Sentry gave a quick salute and left.
Once Flash Sentry had left, Luna began her apology, "Sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier. I was testing to see if my heat was really gone. I had found your touch and smell particularly intoxicating when my estrus was in full swing. I am glad to say that it has passed, however! I hope you can see my actions were in no way an attempt to take advantage of you."
"Wat?"
"Now you no longer have reason to fear me. I am perfectly normal and in control of my libido!"
Kenny was slowly regaining control over his mouth. "So... Now what?"
Luna paused. Kenny was right, how do they move on from there? Now that her heat was over, what were here feelings toward him.
"I'm not sure, I mean..." Luna looked him in the eyes. She noticed for the first time their bright chocolate color. She felt herself melt in those watery pools filled with a genuine concern for their relationship. She was glad to see her comment to Celestia several days prior wasn't just her heat-addled mind.
"Luna?"
"We keep doing what we're doing. Like I said, I wanted us to be friends. We are, me being in heat only did one thing, guarantee we met. And make things hard for me, but that's beside the point. We're friends now, and now we'll continue being friends. Nothing changes." Luna gave him her warmest smile.
"Kay." Luna's smile slipped.
"Excuse me?" She said in veiled anger. Anger Kenny failed to notice.
"Okay. Cool. What more do you want?"
"Oooh, I don't know." Luna said, her voice like poisoned honey. Fury oozed out at a greater concentration with every word she spoke. "I just happen to think that my heartfelt splurge deserves a better response than, 'Kay!'"
"So?"
Luna shoved him away, "So give me a heartfelt answer you ingrate!"
"What? Why?!"
"Because you owe me one after that I practically spilled my heart for you!"
"All I wanted to know is if we were still friends! A simple yes or no would suffice!"
"Hmph, stallions..." Luna muttered.
"Excuse me, but I am one-hundred percent man. No part of me is stallion." He joked in an attempt to diffuse the situation.
"FINE! MALE! HAPPY NOW!!!"
"WHY ARE YOU YELLING!!!"
"BECAUSE YOU IRRITATE ME!!!!"
Luna left the room and slammed the door closed.
"Uggh, why are all females so emotional?" Kenny grumbled.
"Why are all males such thick-headed dunces?" Luna huffed.
Author's Note
DO NOT GET USED TO THIS! I HAVE HAD LOTS OF FREE TIME RECENTLY! THIS WILL NOT CONTINUE FOR LONG! THAT IS ALL!
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"NO! The streamers go over there! " Pinkie yelled at a thoroughly confused Kenny who, thanks to his height, had been hired out to Ponyville to do decorations. Currently he was putting streamers on town hall.
"Pinkie! Make up your mind! There are other ponies who need him you know?" Rainbow called as Kenny shifted his position yet again to set up the streamers. Twilight had been the one to call for his aid. When she was requested to organize the celebration in Canterlot, she didn't want to leave Ponyville understaffed. So she asked that Kenny work for a small pay as handyman during the setup. Kenny had nothing better to do so he agreed. Now He was being dragged to and fro to do all sorts of jobs, even get Rarity's cat out of a tree. The smiley face band-aids did little to ease his suffering.
"There! Right there! Perfect!" Pinkie finally said as Kenny taped the streamers into the Town Hall. Once the streamers were set Pinkie spoke to Rainbow, "Why do you need him? You can fly silly willy!"
"I don't need him, but a certain mayor forced me to get him. She needs him to set up some banners inside."
"Well he's all done here! Go ahead and take him!" Pinkie said cheerfully as Kenny stepped down from the step-ladder.
"Don't I have a say in this?" Kenny asked. He had been pulled around like this all day and had begun to regret coming at all.
"Nope." Rainbow said. She then flew into him and pushed him inside the Town Hall. Once inside she flew off to deal with some other preparation for the Summer Sun Celebration. Mayor Mare saw him and was quick to respond.
"Oh! There you are!" Mrs. Mare said with a warm smile. "Our large friend from Canterlot! I've heard a lot about you! Is it true that you are the personal escort of Princess Luna?"
Kenny cringed when she said escort, "No, we are just friends." Ever since Kenny and Luna had started hanging out more the paparazzi had jumped to all kinds of conclusions, ranging from Kenny being Luna's equivalent of a stallionfriend to Kenny being a demonic new breed of changeling that had brainwashed Luna. No one could believe that Luna and he were just friends. It had gotten so bad that Luna even let a national newspaper interview her to confirm this fact. Sadly, it had done little to stop the media from trying to find out the 'truth'.
"Oh. Well never mind then. Back to why I called you here. I need you to climb that ladder and hang up these banners" Mrs. Mare pulled out a couple banners, each with either Luna or Celestia's cutie marks. "After this you should be done. Assuming, of course, no pony else has need of you."
Kenny nodded and got to nailing. He was glad he kept himself in good shape, or else he wouldn't have been able to do all this work. As Kenny went on with his monotonous act of nailing the banners to the rafters, he thought back on the time he had been spending with Luna.
After their little spat they had, as friends always do, instantly made up minutes later and went on with their lives. Luna took him to various parties and introduced him to the many nobles. His favorite was when he re-met Blueblood. The sniveling brat had been shaking like a leaf the entire time. When they weren't being dragged around to parties they were enjoying each other's company. Luna told him stories the legends of Equestria. Tales of the Goddess, their creator, and of the time under Discord's rule. Kenny told her of human legends. He spoke of Perseus, Joan of Arc, John 117 and Commander Shepard. There friendship grew as the days went by. Luna hadn't confided in him her crush yet, fearing that she will shatter her new friendship. She cherished him, a friend who downright ignored her royalty. She loved that he didn't fear her power or status as so many others do. She didn't want to ruin that for someone she could cuddle with.
Kenny saw Luna as that crazy eccentric friend that was too cool to lose. Luna deeply hated this as she realized she was sinking into a dreaded area modern ponies called the 'friendzone'.
"What under the heaven's is that?!" A crash sounded as a large, thorny, black vine crashed through a window and into Kenny's ladder. Kenny came down to earth and crashed painfully onto the wooden paneling. Then the vine wrapped around his leg.
"Fuck..."
Kenny was pulled out of Town Hall and thrown like a rag doll across the square. He impacted with the side of some poor pony's house. Why was the pony poor? Because Kenny's weight was just enough to smash the wall. Kenny also got some nasty bruises, in case you cared.
Kenny pulled himself out of the rubble to see most of the town panicking as various vines assaulted their homes and businesses. He barely noticed another creeper sneak up behind him and leapt out of the way just as it tried to snag him. He groaned as his various bruises and cuts lashed out at his movement. Ignoring it, he ran into the nearest building, ducking under the low doorway and closing the door behind him.
The home was empty, luckily, which gave Kenny the time to pull out his problem solver.
"C'mon Arcana, give me something good." Kenny opened the book and read its contents.
Man-eating plants? Easy. Say hello to the one and only Mage's Blade! This is a construct spell that takes the form of the noblest of all weapons. Now this spell requires some prep. You need to fully visualize the weapon. The strength of this weapon will be completely determined by your focus.
Kenny held out his hand and visualized the first sword that came to mind, the Soul Edge.
"Fel Edge..." It sufficed to say he lacked creativity in his moment of desperation.
Kenny watched in awe as the six foot blade materialized before him. It seemed to be made of an inky black, sparkling crystal carefully shaped into the static copy of Soul Edge.
"Cool..."
Kenny grabbed the gigantic blade and marveled at its lightness. It felt like it was made of foam and yet was as firm as steel. Gripping it with the resolve of a true warrior, Kenny once again ducked through the door and back into the fray. Immediately after walking outside a vine whipped at him. With one clean swing the vine was chopped away. Kenny looked to the Everfree Forest, what seemed to be the source of the offending plants, and looked down at his blade.
"Sometimes a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do..."
Luna was currently residing in a cocoon made of numerous black vines. These vines had used a combination of subterfuge and knockout gas. Now she was unconscious and powerless, held captive by these creepers. Luna, meanwhile, was enjoying a sweet, gas-induced dream.
"Luna!" Cried an armor clad Kenny, his face rugged and sporting a luxurious beard. "I have come to claim thy hand!" Luna looked down upon her silver shelled savior from her perch in vine covered tower several stories high.
"Oh! Kenneth our love! Dost thou be true in thy words?" Luna called.
"Verily! What say you fair Princess of the Night?" Kenny knelt down. "Will thou take this my hand and heart, now and forever?"
Luna leapt out of her window and glided down to him. She touched down with utmost grace. "Of course our dearest! We are yours, now and forever." Kenny pulled her into a hug, his armor radiating a strange, unearthly warmth. Luna placed her hooves around his neck and let her head rest on his chest. She loved him, she knew this. She had never quite met someone who made her feel as happy and cared for as he did besides her sister and parents. She was devoted to this creature of another world.
"I'm sorry..." Luna's ears perked as she heard Kenny's voice speak those sad words. They confused her.
"I have to go." Luna found she was no longer in Kenny's arms but instead in the palace courtyard. Kenny was there, but he was not wearing the armor. He was wearing a black cloak that draped over his entire body, the hood was pulled down and let her see the sorrow written on his face.
"Why?" Luna's mouth moved on its own. She found she had no control over her body, it did not respond to any of her commands. "Why do you need to go?"
"You know why, I'm dangerous. A ticking time bomb. One little slip-up and you and everyone else I care about is gone. I can't risk that."
Luna felt her face contort in anger, tears falling from her eyes. "You swore, Kenneth. You swore that you would never leave me again. I thought you loved me!"
Kenny pulled his hood up. A hand reached up and out of his cloak tracing three symbols in the air in then connecting them all with a circle. "I do. That's why I can't stay." The circle filled with a shimmering black color and expanded till its diameter matched his height. Kenny turned to the portal, staring into its depths.
"Goodbye, Luna."
Twilight and friends were walking through the Everfree in search of the Tree of Harmony. As of yet things had been quiet and the progress steady.
"Uhhh, any o'yall hear dat?" Applejack asked. The girls all stopped and perked their ears up, listening for the noise Applejack had mentioned.
"Must have been nothing." Twilight said after a full minute of your average spooky forest noises. "Let's kee-"
They all stopped when they heard a distant rustling and a tiny voice. It grew in volume as the source got closer. Soon they were able to make out what was being said.
"LEEEEEROY JEEEEEENKIIINS!!!!" Yelled Kenny as he chopped his way through the brush of the forest, briefly crossing paths with the Mane Six, and continuing on his merry way.
Rainbow Dash was the first to speak, "Uhhh... What just happened?"
"Chop, chop, chop the vine. Chop, chop, chop the vine. Chop, chop, chop the vine." Kenny finished the last line with another cut of the swaths of vines that assaulted him. "Make a chimichanga." Kenny wiped away the sweat that had built up on his brow. He assumed the increased number of vines meant he was getting close to their source, an assumption entirely based on modern gaming logic. He kept going forward, slicing anything that got in his way with his giant sword. The spell sword had given him an incredible sense of manly power. He felt like nothing could stand in his way.
Eventually he reached a gigantic, and familiar, chasm. The vines seemed to radiate outward from within it's foggy depths. He was about to venture into the chasm with all caution thrown to the wind when a creeper grabbed his foot and dragged him back into the forest. He was dragged a good fifteen yards through brush and grass before he came to a rest surrounded by several vine with strange, venus fly trap heads.
Kenny simply raised his blade in a prepared defense against these no doubt man-eating plants. He prepared to cast a shield to match his sword when one of the plants sprayed him with a strange gas. Its effects were immediate, causing Kenny to suddenly see the plants in a new hazy light. Visions of the dreaded 'Facehuggers' from the Alien franchise plagued his mind. His mental fortitude shattered by his fear, Soul Edge fell to the ground and shattered. The magical whiplash that caused was the final nail in the coffin and Kenny fainted.
The thorny plants all looked at each other in confusion as they saw what had been not minutes before cutting through its brethren like they were made of butter cower like a month old foal after only one spritz. When nothing else happened, they slunk off to find other beings to terrify.
Kenny came to later. He found that the plants were gone and sighed with relief.He picked himself off the ground and dusted himself off. He re-summoned his fake-edge and headed out before the facehuggers came back. He ran back out and to the chasm he was at earlier. He noticed lights coming through the fog at the far end of the chasm. He looked around for a way down and found some conveniently placed stairs to take. He ran down the steps and to the end of the chasm just in time to see Twilight being attacked by more vines, the Elements of Harmony swirling around her.
"I'll save you!" Kenny yelled large blade posed to strike. He leapt up, and let yell a primal yell.
A single, thick vine slapped him upside the head and into the wall, instantly knocking him out.
The end.
"HAha ha ha ha.... HAHA HAH haha ha..." Luna was still laughing as Kenny nursed the large bump on his forehead where he had hit the cave wall. She had been told by the others of his daring rescue attempt and its anti-climatic failure. As much as she loved the poor sap, just imagining the scenario was enough to produce giggles. His embarrassed blush and pout only enhanced her mirth.
"It was cool..." Kenny muttered.
"Cool? What part of going through all that build up to taken out by a single of Discord's plunder seeds was cool?"
"Shut up."
"What!?" Luna said in mock shock. "How dare you speak to your ruler in such a way!"
"First, you're not my ruler. Second, I can say whatever I want, diplomatic immunity bitch. Third, you, a powerful demigod, we're defeated and captured by a plant. " It was Luna's turn to blush. Kenny smiled at his victory over her. He reached out and grabbed her before she could notice. He pulled her in close and gave her a noogie while saying, "I'm kidding, you need to lighten up miss princess of the dark."
Luna pushed him away saying in return, "I am not princess of the dark! I am Princess of the Night!" Kenny's only response was a hearty laugh. Luna's face softened at the noise and she eventually gave in to mirth as well. They just sat their laughing at their silliness.
"I swear, you two are the cutest couple this side Appleloosa"
Both parties turned to Discord, who had been watching from the safety of the doorway. This was followed by a blue beam and a fireball making way for the draconeques's face. Discord merely laughed it off and disappeared.
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"Celestia, I had a dream." Luna and Celestia were enjoying some ice cream after a long day of Equestrian politics. "It's fuzzy, but whenever I think about it I get this deep sense of dread. Even stranger is that I know it has to do with Kenny."
Celestia raised an eyebrow before swallowing her mouthful of butter pecan. "I'm sure it's nothing Luna. You of all people know how dreams work. It was probably some twisted fantasy where Kenny leaves you or something."
"Maybe..."
"I AM ON FIRE!!!" Luna and Celestia's heads swiveled to the closed door where Kenny's voice had just let loose some deeply troubling words. They both leapt from their seats to the door and swiftly opened it just in time to see a flaming Kenneth fly past and down the hallway, followed shortly by several unicorn guards with extinguishers in their magical grasp. Luna face-hoofed and followed her sister and guards in pursuing the burning biped.
Kenny hadn't gotten far before his brain kicked in and he stop, dropped, and rolled on the floor. The guards and princesses arrived a couple seconds later and sprayed him down with the extinguishers.
He was still on fire.
Luna and Celestia both cast various spells to quell the flames that covered his body.
He barely noticed as he continued to roll in vain.
Luna finally noticed something. Despite the fire he was cloaked in, Kenny's clothes and body were entirely unharmed. The fire had only burned the rug he was rolling on.
"Stop yelling!" Luna commanded. Kenny shut up.
Luna grabbed him in her telekinetic grasp and lifted him in the air where he wouldn't burn anything else. Luna came to find that the fire was evenly spread across his entire body. Then her grip on him slipped and he landed painfully back on the ground.
"What the hell, Luna!"
"Sorry!" Luna tried again and noticed once again her magical hold was, well, slipping. It was as if the fire was actively repelling her magic. What had Kenneth gotten himself into? She didn't have time to ponder this before Kenny slipped away again. Celestia barely caught him as he fell. Her eyes widened at the effect the fire had on her grasp and, unlike Luna, attempted to hold him tighter.
"Strange." Celestia said. She felt more resistance as she increased the force. Then the fire went out, followed immediately by a crack.
"MY LEG!!!"
"That sucked." Kenny said. Celestia gave him an apologetic smile as Dr. Graph finished up setting the cast on his leg. Celestia's grip had broken the results of Kenny's first attempt at a magic repelling spell. And his femur. Now he was bedridden till it healed. Luckily the break was clean, and with some carefully administered magic he should be fine by the end of the week.
"Is there anything else Doctor?" Luna asked. After Luna had shouted at her sister while they carted his screaming form to the infirmary, Luna had been by Kenny's side every minute of his treatment.
"Not that I've already said, Princess. He is to stay in bed till that leg of his heals." Turning to Kenny, "Drink plenty of fluids, sleep, you know the drill. I'll be back in a couple days to check your progress. A nurse will arrive shortly to assist you to your room." Dr. Graph packed away the rest of his materials and left the room.
Kenny looked Celestia straight in the eyes, "How does a thousand year-old alicorn do this? Did you seriously not have enough self control that you broke my leg? "
"Oh, shush you." Celestia said. She left the room and back to hers for more ice cream. Luna watched her leave with a scowl. A pale pink unicorn mare came in shortly after.
"Okay Mr. Lee, are you ready to be moved?" The Nurse asked. Kenny gave her a incredulous look, "Only you?"
"I'll take that as a yes." The Nurse pulled out a piece of paper. "Let's see, you live in... Ah! This room!"
With a flash of blue magic, Kenny found himself on his bed in his room with nary a single bit of discomfort. The nurse and Luna followed, arriving mere seconds later. The Nurse made to move to Kenny's bed, but was beaten to it by Luna who used her magic to lift Kenny and tuck him in his bed.
"Well, looks like things are all set." The Nurse said. "If you need me a buzzer has been left on your nightstand." After the nurse left Luna rushed to Kenny's bedside.
"How are you feeling?" Luna asked as she inspected him for anything remotely wrong. "Are you in pain? Do you want me to get more painkillers?"
"I'm fine, Luna. Besides, I think getting me drugs is the nurse's job." Kenny said, adjusting himself into a more comfortable position.
"Nonsense! As your friend I shall cater to your every need. I will not leave your side for any reason!" Luna said with pride, decisively sitting on the floor next to him.
"Luuunaa," Kenny whined, "Why are you doing this? I'll be fine! It's not like I'm paralyzed or something. I'm just sitting in bed till my leg heals. You don't have to do this."
"But I WANT to do this. I am your friend, and friends care for one another. I will not take no for an answer." Luna stated with a happy grin.
"Lu-" Kenny started.
"Will NOT take no for an answer..." Luna growled, never losing that grin.
Kenny thought it best to let Luna do what she wants.
"Well I don't want you getting bored, so I think some board games are in order." Luna said, summoning several boxes to the bed with a slight glow from her horn. "What would you like to play?"
"Luna, I don't know any of these games."
"Oh! Right. Well then I'll choose one for you!" Luna levitated a dusty wooden box out of the stack. "This one's a favorite of mine. It's real easy too!" Luna blew away the dust revealing the box's intricate carving, slightly worn with use and age. Luna eagerly opened the box with her hooves, revealing a two stacks of cards nestled in red velvet.
"The object of the game is to draw two cards, one from each stack. One card will give you an action, the other a question. You must do one of the two, or lose that round. If you successfully do your duties, you keep the card. Cards keep getting recycled till there are no more cards left."
Kenny was intrigued, "That seems interesting, what do the cards say?"
"You never know!" Luna said sweetly as she drew two cards with magic.
"Use horn to feed friend." Luna read, "Or, Who was your first kiss?" Luna blushed when she read the second card.
"Okay... Weird twist on that first one. Which is it?"
Luna didn't know. She didn't want to tell him her first crush, but eating off her horn was demeaning and unbecoming of the princess. She silently cursed the cards' enchantment that allowed for it to constantly be something gross or embarrassing. She used her magic to summon a chocolate doughnut on her horn.
"Do this quickly, or I will hurt you in ways no being in any universe can match." Luna said darkly.
Kenny gave an evil grin. "Only because you so kindly asked my sweet Princess of the Night." Luna gained an intense blush at his words. She thanked the heavens that he was to busy eating the doughnut to notice. He finished quickly and cleanly, never once touching her horn in the process.
"Okay, my turn." Kenny picked up two cards. "'How many girlfriends have you had and give a description of each.' or 'Make out with non-competitor.'"
Luna couldn't believe it. He would surely choose the much less awkward card and tell her a lineup of his previous relationships, giving her the perfect idea of what kinds of girls he likes.
"I'll go with the make-out."
Luna nearly lost it right there.
"WHAT! Why!"
"Nobody wants to hear about two failed relationships." Kenny said as he read the Arcana. "You might want to get a camera. I'm gonna milk this for all it's got."
"Longe Dico"
Kenny's spell left a tingle in his mouth as he spoke, "Hey, is this thing on?"
What the... Kenny? Where are you? Aren't you supposed to be in bed? Celestia's voice was not heard but sensed by Kenny, a result of his spell that allowed long range communication. Luna, having not been connected to the spell, was left out.
"Me and Luna are playing some truth or dare card game and I have to make out with somebody, so I'm calling you in to be the 'somebody'."
What! No!
"Kenny, who are you talking to?" Luna asked with a growing concern that he had lost it.
"Not now, Luna." Kenny shushed her, "C'mon, you owe me. You broke my leg remember? This is pay-back." There was an extended silence as he awaited her response.
Fine. I'm on my way.
Celestia teleported straight into the room. Trotted straight up to the smug, bed-ridden Kenny and pulled him into a short and angry kiss. What she didn't notice, however, was Kenny capturing the moment on his phone. He had never been so glad that he had test enchanted it.
Kenny was to busy relishing that he had finally gotten Celestia off her high horse to see where her hoof was moving.
That was towards his scrotum, for your information.
At speeds that would make Rainbow Dash impressed.
The resulting blow was so painful, every stallion in Canterlot suddenly crossed their hind legs and shivered.
"We hope it was everything you expected and more!" Celestia said with a smug smile of her own. She teleported off to the noise of Kenny's high-pitched groans, music to her ears. He held his crotch as pain radiated from the area into his entire being.
Luna had been completely forgotten. She was still staring at the exact spot above the bed where Kenny and Celestia's lips had met. Her brain had been fried by a flurry of emotions, including, but not limited to, anger, self-doubt, jealously and shock. While she slowly recovered, Kenny was doing his best to repress the pain in his groin. It eventually faded to a more tolerable level.
"Luna, can you get me an ice pack before my kids cease to exist?" Kenny asked, receiving no response. "Luna?"
Kenny finally noticed Luna's current predicament. He waved his hand's in front of her eyes and snapped his finger's in her ears. No response.
Luna's brain began to reboot on one thought. Celestia had kissed Kenny. Luna then came to the conclusion that she must abandon these subtle attempts at wooing and win over Kenny before Celestia took him away. All this while Kenny tried to bring her back to reality.
Luna, without warning, leapt on the bed and pulled Kenny into a kiss of her own. Kenny wasn't even aware of what what was happening when Luna skillfully inserted her tongue into his open mouth, making sure to get a good taste of him while she could. Then Kenny began to panic. He shoved Luna off him and on to the floor where she landed with in a heap.
"Luna! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Kenny said, wiping his mouth. "Did you lose your mind? Why did you do that!"
"Because I love you..." Luna's words were so quiet that even she didn't hear them.
"Answer me Luna!" Kenny yelled ready to disappear should she prove to be dangerous again. He was scared, to say the least. Luna had just crossed a line and reactivated Kenny's emergency Luna Rape measures.
"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DAMMIT!!!" Luna initially yelled in her Canterlot Voice, returning to a normal tone afterwards. "I love you. I love your sweet brown eyes and your exotic charms. I love that you treat me like your equal, never once truly acknowledging my status. I love how from day one you have done nothing but show me kindness that has been kept from me by so many others since my return. You're the best thing that has ever come up in far too long a time, Kenny. I've been spending the last several weeks trying to get you to at least be attracted to me, but you never notice. I was so afraid to tell you how I felt that I began to think it was a lost cause..."
Luna's voice teetered out. She felt the wetness of tears on her cheeks as they trickled from her eyes. She had to admit it was good to let it all out, but it was overshadowed by the dread of knowing she had absolutely ruined any chance she had with the man that held her heart. She silently wept, staring at the floor. refusing to look at Kenny in fear of what she would see. She was sure he was going to reject her.
"Well, that's tons better than what I thought." Kenny said with a sigh of relief.
Luna's head shot up. What?
"Though crying was a little unwarranted. Also, now I owe Flash Sentry a piggy-back ride."
Was he really not...?
"I guess if you really do feel that way I can give it a try. No promises though."
Luna gave out a squeal of joy and jumped into his lap, wrapping him in a hug a peppering him with kisses.
"Thankyouthankyouthankyou..." Luna repeated over and over.
"Yeah, yeah, I get it Luna. Just remember this is just an experiment, not any sort of reciprocated feelings."
"Yet..." Luna added in, sticking her tongue out at him. She hopped from his bed and made to head out. "I'm going to get a celebratory lunch, stay right where you are."
"Like I have a choice?" Kenny deadpanned as she opened the door.
"Bye~ Honey Bunch!~" Luna almost sang as she left, passing by Flash Sentry in the doorway.
Flash looked back at Luna and to Kenny in his bed with wide, admiring eyes.
"Duuuude......."
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"Flash, buddy, do you think you could get me that pencil?" Kenny was enjoying some bro-time with Flash Sentry in a lounge they had found roaming the castle. It had quickly become a regular thing for them to go and spend a couple hours doing there own things. Flash put down his comic book and retrieved the pencil. Once the utensil was safe in the hands of the human Flash continued reading Attack on Slepnir . Kenny looked at the cover and started to laugh.
"What?" Flash asked, bewildered by Kenny's sudden mirth.
"Sorry, it's just I never imagined you guys had stuff like that here." Kenny said, continuing his sketch of Master Chief.
Flash looked over his reading material, "Comic books?"
"If only you knew..." Kenny said with a chuckle.
Flash was going to retort when Luna came crashing into the room.
"Kenny! I'm so sorry!" Luna said as she wrapped him in a crushing, protective hug. "I'll protect you until this all blows over..."
"Protect me from what?" Kenny managed to squeak out.
"Have you not heard?" Luna asked him, still holding him firmly in her hooves. "I would have thought they had reached you by now."
"Hold on, Kenny's in some sort of danger?" Flash asked, returning to his guard programming, "If he is, I need to know exactly what it is that is endangering him."
"I am." Luna said, receiving looks of shock from both males. "Figuratively, I was at a press conference today and I might have let it slip that I was officially in a relationship with you." Luna had expected reprimands, not sighs of relief.
"Geez, Luna. You scared us or a second there. I thought this was something serious." Flash said.
"It is serious!" Luna yelled, "I have inadvertently placed Kenny into the political machine! With the knowledge of his direct connection to me floating about it is only a matter of time before he is involved in a major political scandal!"
Kenny snorted, "You mean besides the one that was already brewing with us just being friends?" Luna promptly punched him in the shoulder.
"Kenny, politics is a horrible thing, filled with bureaucracy, underhand dealings, and empty promises." Luna said in a dead serious tone. "It has taken me and my sister decades to master it, and I am a millennium out of practice. Heed my warning young human, you are now in strange and unforgiving tides. From this moment on you are no longer a free being, you belong to the Equestrian political mechanism. Every action you take will have unprecedented effects on the populous as a whole."
Kenny, to everyone's surprise, picked Luna up and carried her to the door in his arms like an oversize foal. He dumped her in the hallway and gave her one last comment before closing the door.
"Luna, I think this will all be fine. I doubt that dating you has made me some target for politicians to take advantage of. Now, I'm gonna spend the rest of the day coloring Chief, so I'll see you at dinner."
Luna watched the door close with pity.
"May the Goddess have mercy on your soul..." Luna whispered.
"Excuse me, Mr. Lee? May I have a word?" A vivid green unicorn with lemon-lime hair asked as Kenny walked through Canterlot in search of a bookstore. He had decided to take a break from the Arcana and learn about Equestrian literature. Then this dude showed up.
"About what?" Kenny asked warily.
"Is it true that you-" He began.
"No."
"But what about-"
"No."
"Okay." The unicorn said, scribbling down something in a little book with his magic. "Sir? If I could give you any advice, your better off sticking to the castle. Your quite the icon among nobility now, watch out"
Kenny turned to ask him what he meant only to find the unicorn was gone without a trace. Deciding magic was involved, Kenny went back on his merry way, but he didn't make it two steps before he was met with two dapper stallions with looks of awe.
"How did you do it?" One asked.
"Do what?" Kenny asked, the stares these two were giving him were creeping him out.
"Woo the Princess of course!" The other stallion said. "What is your secret?"
"No secret here guys." Kenny responded. "We ran into eachother and had an accidental make out, that's it."
This didn't warrant the reaction he expected. "Thank you!" They shouted before running off to who knows where.
"Weird..." Kenny continued walking and made it all the way down the block when another pony stopped him, this time a pegasus mare.
"Yes, Ma'm?" Kenny asked when she had tapped him on the shoulder.
"Umm... Are you the one they call 'Kenny Lee'?" She asked timidly.
"Yes?" Kenny responded.
"Umm, Do you... I mean-"
"I'm sorry, but I do have things I need to do so-"
"DO YOU THINK I'M PRETTY!?!" She suddenly yelled before immediately covering her mouth with both hooves.
"Suure?" Kenny offered.
The mare gave a light gasp and a furious blush, flying away giggling like a geisha girl.
"What has gotten in to the ponies in this town?"
"Sir?"
Kenny turned to find none other than Fancy Pants standing before him, "What now?"
"If you would be so kind as to humor me, I need a spot of advice." Fancy Pants said with a warm smile.
"Okay, I guess that's innocent enough." Kenny muttered.
"Excuse me?"
"I said ask away!" Kenny recovered, giving a sigh of relief when Fancy Pants nodded is head in satisfaction.
"I have a little marital issue right now. Things have gotten a little boring, if you know what I mean. I was wondering if you could share with me any techniques to make things a little more interesting for me and Fleur."
"Wut."
"Sorry if it's a little too personal, but seeing as you have the Princess satisfied, I thought you could teach me something."
"Umm, uhhh... I, uh, hmmmmm..." Kenny struggled to say something coherent. It didn't help that Fancy Pants was giving him the most hopeful look a man (or stallion in this case) could muster. "Kamasutra!"
"Kama-who-what-now?" Fancy said.
"Look it up!" Was all Kenny gave before dashing away back to the castle and away from all this.
"Kenny you have made a couple out there very happy." Celestia said amid the laughter blossoming from Luna. "Frankly I don't see any issue with what happened at all today. You practically saved a stallion's marriage, boosted a young mare's self esteem, and gave two colts some great stories to tell, if not a couple of mare-friends. I'd say you're shaping up to be quite the image of Prince of Love. Too bad Cadance already took the job."
Kenny slammed his head against a throw pillow.
"May I speak freely your highness?" Flash asked.
"Of course." Flash gave her a firm nod before turning to Kenny.
"Bro, help me out here. I have a bit of a thing for this one mare and I'm not sure how to go about asking her-"
"If slamming face-first doesn't work then just ask her you pansy." Kenny yelled through the pillow.
"Thanks!" Flash said. He was about to run off to ask a maid out when a hoof stopped him. He turned to see Celestia had stopped him.
"If you would, I would prefer that you wait on that for now Flash Sentry." Celestia asked. She breathed a sigh of relief when he gave a salute and returned to his post by the door.
"Come now, Kenny! Surely this is not as bad as you make it out to seem? You haven't even been confronted by the politicians yet!" Luna offered.
"I never wanted to be famous..." Kenny muttered. "Celebrities always go crazy in the end."
"Fear not, Kenny. I am here for you." Luna said in a motherly tone, holding the moping man in her hooves. "Remember that we are in this together. I have been 'famous' for countless years, you learn to accept it. Besides, at least it seems that the public has taken the news well! No one seems to think badly about our relationship."
They all heard several heavy knocks from the door. "Princess! We have a problem!" Yelled the voice of a guard. Celestia opened the door to find one of her guards standing in the door way with a look of worry.
"Princess, several citizens have amassed at the castle gates demanding to see the Mr. Lee." The guard hurriedly said, "They have threatened to break their way in if we don't give him up."
Luna tightened her grip on Kenny, Kenny giving out a pained 'urk!'
"Celestia, speak to them. Tell them they cannot have him and that he is under my protection."
"Luna-" Kenny began, but Luna kept talking regardless.
"If anyone tries to get in throw them in the dungeons for a couple hours. No one is going to reach my moon monkey!"
Everyone's faces turned to shock and mild disgust.
"Luna, calm down. I have my own plan." Kenny said as he extracted himself from her hooves. "And you are very necessary for it."
With a light mutter, Kenny summoned the Arcana to him. He scanned the pages as everyone else watched.
What now? The Arcana read.
You should know exactly what I want. Kenny thought, knowing that the book would hear him.
Yeah, yeah something to show those bozos that they can't touch you. Shouldn't the word of the Princess be enough? You know that this will probably reignite the rumors that you're some evil brainwasher. I think that I could provide you with something to more effectively earn their trust and favor.
What would that be?
Simple, rather than scare off the neigh-sayers, you appeal to your supporters.
That was a horrible pun and how would I do that?
I have a couple ideas...
"Mares and Stallions, it is I, Princess Luna." Luna spoke in her Equestrian voice to the crowd below her from a balcony on the castle. "The one you seek known as Kenneth W. Lee wishes me to tell you that he will be appearing at the Canterlot Amphitheater for all of who will come. I ask you withhold your questions for him until then.
The crowd of ponies began to disperse. Slowly at first, but picking up speed until they left in droves. Once the crowd was entirely gone, Luna went back inside. Flash and Celestia we're helping Kenny into a set of luxurious and complex robes.
"Are you sure this will work?" Luna asked warily.
"I have no idea..."
The Amphitheater was packed with ponies from all around Canterlot. Some had come to protest the unorthodox relationship between Kenny and Luna. More came out of genuine curiosity about this new being, ready to ask tons of questions. Even more just came to see what all the hype was about. Regardless, they were all there for the same reason.
To see this Kenneth Washington Lee, an alien that had the fancy of one of the two highest authorities in the land.
The lights in the amphitheater went out, and dozens off conversations were cut off by the darkness. Speakers crackled to life and spotlights danced across the audience, each one a different color of the rainbow.
"Ladies and Gentleman, boys and girls! Straight from a world beyond this plane, I give you the one-and-only, Kenny Washington Lee! Yelled Flash Sentry in his best announcer's voice, and pulling it off quite well. All the lights shifted to a single spot on stage, the lights combining to form a single white orb on the massive stage. They stared there for a mere moment before the air above the white spot exploded into a cloud of black, inky smoke. It was whisked away by a gust of wind to reveal Kenny in his new magician's robes, layers of silk and velvet combing into a myriad of blues and blacks. It was made from one of Luna's older dresses, butchered and reassembled by Perfect Fit to fit his frame. They were rather form fitting down to the waist, where it flared out anime style. On top of his head he wore a black suede top hat with a powder blue band. Kenny waved his hand for the audience, a confident performer's smile written across his face.
"Hello, people of Canterlot!" Kenny said with his magically amplified voice. He got a mixed reaction. Some ponies gave out the typical whoops and wallops, others still yelled out insults and accusations. "Do I hear some dissenters out here? What is a man to do? Say I have an idea! Why don't one of you nay-sayers come up here and tell me what ails you so? Select one pony to represent your case."
The crowd of protesters went into a panic. They all wanted to stop this monster, but none wanted to face the gorilla alone. Kenny watched in amusement as they a quarreled in their seats. Eventually, an older stallion was selected and thrown in heap on stage despite his constant pleads for them not to. Once he was on stage he scrambled to collect himself and stood before Kenny with an air of nobility and poise. He also failed to hide the way his knees shook as Kenny approached.
"So you're the lucky winner!" Kenny said with joy, "Tell me, what is your name?"
"I am Shire Snob." The older unicorn responded. Despite his fear his voice was level and confident. "My associates and I have come to protest your advances on our fair Princess. You are a beast, undeserving of her hoof. We will ask that you leave Equestria and back to whatever 'plane' you came from."
Several ponies in the crowd took exception to that. Shire was met with 'boohs' and the occasional 'Jerk!'
"Well Mr. Snob, I can see you are concerned for your 'fair Princess'." Kenny responded, stroking his chin. "How about I prove that I am more than some common shumck that just happened to catch the eye of your Princess, you know the one that totally was thinking of dating a pony beforehand." His last comment earned a couple giggles from the more tolerant parts of the crowd.
"I fail to see how you will manage to do that." Shire snorted.
"We'll see. Now head on back to your seat my friend because the show is about to begin!"
Kenny snapped his fingers and Shire Snob was sent straight back to his seat in a flash of his black magic. Everyone in the building gasped. Up until that point nothing but a unicorn had been known to use magic.
"Now I will show you the many great legends of my people, in chronological order!" Kenny summoned forth a black cloud of smoke to encompass the stage, and the lights went out.
"We're going for a ride..." Kenny muttered. "Simulacrum! "
One blue light appeared through the smoke, along with a light hum. A dark figure stepped forth from the murk, a glowing blue blade in hand. He wore simple brown robes and a hood that hid his face from the audience.
"I'm going to stop you here, Sith." Its vice was clear and strong, filled with a steel that rang through the amphitheater.
"You underestimate the power of the Dark Side, Jedi." Everyone's heads turned to see a menacing figure in black armor at the back of the amphitheater, standing in the entrance. He wielded a similar glowing blade, only this one's was blood red.
The Sith leapt at the Jedi crossing the distance easily in one jump. The Jedi easily blocked the Sith's advance and their sabers met. Their blades let out a sharp crack at the contact and sparks leaped from between their blades. The Jedi shoved away the Sith's weapon and thrust his palm at him. Everyone gasped when they saw the Sith get thrown across the stage by a mysterious force. The Sith landed on his feet and extended his own arm, lightning arcing from his fingertips and at the Jedi. The Jedi blocked this too with his blade and the two were locked in a stalemate. It didn't last long, and they both vanished in a large explosion.
Now a lone figure stood center stage. It was clearly a human, only much more rugged and muscular than Kenny. It wore pieces of iron armor and held a shining steel blade in hand. Its face was hidden behind a horned helmet. It looked to the sky where a deafening roar shook the ponies in their seats.
"DOVAHKIIN..." A dragon unlike any have ever seen was peched just above the audience and before anyone could react, it breathed a stream of fire on the man. The Warrior was completely engulfed and some in the crowd cried out at the sight. However, when the dragon finished, the Warrior still stood. And he shouted back at his assailant.
"FUS RO DAH!"
A shockwave blasted the dragon, almost knocking it out of the sky. The dragon dive-bombed the Warrior and the Warrior swung his sword wide. The steel edge hit home and the dragon faltered as it flew. It flew around for another run. The Warrior prepared himself as the dragon summoned fire to his maw once more. It dive-bombed him again blasting fire all the way, narrowly missing the audience. The fire engulfed the stage and obscured the audience's view of what was going on. Soon nothing but the crackling of the inferno on stage could be heard.
Then the fire was blown away by a blue ball of explosive plasma impacting the stage. It had come from off-stage right, and from that direction a very large man ran, covered head-to-toe in orange-and-white armor, occasionally turning and letting loose a couple bangs from a small metal contraption in his hand. Another blue ball of plasma followed and the man leapt to the left. It impacted next to him and a blue flash of light suddenly burst from him. His body would be arced by electricity as he slowly stood. He got up just as a large armored monster appeared. It was easily as tall, if not taller, than the Armored Titan. Its four mandibles worked as it spoke in some strange unknowable language. Many swore it was all 'wort'.
The Armored Titan saw the monster approaching and raised his weapon. He fired of three times, each shot hitting the beast. The Monster seemed was unaffected as each blast only caused his armor to glow an eerie light. The Armored Titan's own armor was engulfed briefly in light before returning to normal. The monster pulled out his own weapon, a strange metal item with organic shapes and purple spikes protruding from the top. Its fingers pulled a small lever and a stream of purple spikes went flying at the man. He tried to dodge them, but several of them followed his movements and struck him. They shattered harmlessly on his armor, glowing just as the Monster had. The man pulled out an ergonomic metal handle. It shuttered as twin blades of blue energy curved from it, creating a deadly sword. The Monster did the same, throwing his spike-thrower aside. They both stood on stage, circling.
The Armored Titan was the first to make a move. He ran at the Monster and swung his blade in a wide arc. The Monster stepped out of the arc's path and stabbed at the man. The Armored Titan ducked, narrowly missing being stabbed through the chest. He swung his blade at the beast's feet leaving deep cuts in its shins. It cried out in pain and the Armored Titan thrust his blade through the screaming Monster's chest. It went silent and fell. The Armored Titan stood, its blue visor hiding any expression.
It picked up the spike-thrower and attached it to his side, and after it was secure left.
The lights went out.
It took a full minute for the audience to realize it was over.
The thundering sound of hooves stamping in applause and the whistles that they let loose was all the confirmation Kenny had needed. He wiped the sweat from his brow and walked on back on stage.
"Well! That was quite the show, was it not?" Kenny said in his amplified voice. "Thank you all for applause, for that is but a small taste of what humanity aspires to be, for we are as diverse in thoughts and ideas as nature herself! I am but a grain of sand to the grand collective of the human race. Now who here still thinks I should break your poor Princess Luna's heart and hit the road?"
Kenny was glad to see that only Shire and a small group of ponies similar in overall demeanor to him raised their hooves.
"Well, I guess I wasn't able to convince you Shire, and I'm sorry for that. Now who here wants Kenny, the human extraordinaire, to stay here in the wonderful city of Canterlot?!" Kenny said whilst throwing up his hand and letting loose a fireball that flew straight up and into the sky where it exploded in a wash of color.
Almost the entire theater raised their hooves.
"Motion carried!" Said a new voice, Celestia's. Everyone turned to see Celestia standing in the royal box far above the audience. "Voted on by the worthy citizens of Canterlot, Kenneth Washington Lee is to stay in Canterlot for as long as he may please."
Kenny took a bow and everyone (except Shire and his band of neigh-sayers of course) let out cries of victory. Their favorite human visitor was here to stay.
Author's Note
Extra Large Update for my adoring fans!
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"Die Bitch!" Kenny yelled as he slammed the buttons on his controller. Luna had found a home console while gallivanting and quickly bought it. It was hooked up to a television set in her room where they met to enjoy some good, clean, light-hearted fun. Like now.
"You will not win, bastard!" Luna yelled back as she manipulated her controls with her magic. Some would say that doing this was cheating, but her magic could only go as far as Kenny's hands could when using the simple controls. In that regard they were evenly matched. The game they were playing was Warlock: Griffon's Age . The game's premise was about utilizing custom classes of spell-flinging characters to roast the opposition. It was face-paced, fun, and infuriating all at the same time. It would often result in fights for Kenny and Luna, which always ended with about minute of cold-shoulders before they made up and played again. The process allowed for a deeper bond to be formed as the two became more and more accustomed to each other, the good and the bad.
"Sonnuva!" Kenny exclaimed as his Gryphon was vaporized by Luna's Unicorn. The Kenny through the controller onto the bed behind him in defeat, letting out a long sigh as Luna performed her victory dance beside him.
"Yes! I told you I would not allow you to win! Now I will claim my prize!" Luna yelled as she also tossed the controller on to her bed. She fixed Kenny with a mischievous leer as what she said broke through his gloom, spiking his curiosity.
"What prizEE-MMMMPHmmmm...." Kenny found himself deep in a kiss with Luna, the first they had shared since truly becoming a couple. At first he resisted out of pure instinct, but once his initial 'Anti-Luna Rape' senses wore off he simply sank into it. He found the entire experience enthralling, her fuzzy muzzle tickling him while her soft lips were, based on previous instances, surprisingly gently locked with his. Luna had done this as a test of his affection. He had from the beginning seemed somewhat aloof, never forthcoming about whether he had feelings for her. She had grown afraid that he still thought of her as a friend, not a potential lover. Luna wished for the kiss to be reassuring statement that he felt for her.
She had never been so glad to be right.
Luna pulled back on the kiss, opening her eyes to see Kenny lazily opening his. Not a word was spoken, they just stared into each other's eyes like this, seemingly enthralled by what they saw. Kenny reached a hand out to the side of Luna's face and she leaned into his touch. She had come to love his fingers and the way they effortlessly made her melt with a few well-placed rubs. They were so much more dexterous then hooves and were far more gentle then claws. Nothing compared to them. There was often a night where she dreamed about him using his wondrous hands for more than just his playful scratches and belly rubs. Right now she felt just fine with his palm placed ever so perfectly on her cheek, going as far as to hold it there with her hoof.
Kenny didn't know what to think as he was faced with his feelings for Luna. Never in his life did he ever even think he could have something like this with someone that wasn't human, much less what was once a fictional uber-equine that was co-ruler of an entire motherfucking nation! He couldn't help but whisper a word of thanks to the little pocketbook that had made this all possible. As much as he missed his parents and friends, he found himself with no desire to go back. He had a girlfriend, a great best-friend, and a degree of fame that he could never hope to achieve back home. Why go back?
He didn't bother answering his own question, instead diving in for another kiss with Luna. Luna wrapped her hooves around him, pulling him taught. He was more forceful this time, remembering that Luna liked it rough. He knew he was doing it right when Luna let out a cute little moan.
"Kenny, dude! I need you out here right now!" Kenny and Luna practically blew apart when Flash's voice interrupted their fervent make-out session. They gave each other looks that said the exact same thing, 'We'll finish this later.'
Kenny walked to the door while Luna straightened her regalia. He opened the door to find Flash Sentry waiting with a familiar envelope tucked in his wing. Kenny worked to keep his disappointment out of his voice, barely succeeding, "What is it Flash?"
"You need to read this!" Flash said. He pulled the envelope out from underneath his wing and placed it into Kenny's hand. "I found out in on your desk earlier today. When I saw what it was, and what it pertained to I had to make sure you knew about it."
"About what?" Kenny asked as he pulled out a letter from the envelope.
"That Princess Edith of Greifland has asked you to escort her at the Royal Ball! Tonight! "
"WHAT!?!?!" Luna and Kenny yelled at the same time. Luna rushed to the door way as Kenny quickly read the letter that he had neglected to read for a little more than three weeks.
Dear Kenneth Lee,
I have heard much about you, Kenneth. A n brand new, alien being that is as menacing as it is impressive. Tall, dark, and exotic, you have caused quite the stir, especially with the whispers of courtship with the fair Princess Luna. I wish to see if you live up to the legends. Enclosed with this letter is an invitation to my father's Royal Ball, a formal and stately event. I would ask that you escort me to this event as my guest. I know that this is very forward of me, but meeting you outside of parties would be quite difficult for me, what with my duties keeping me busy and all. I hope you can understand. I expect that you will be even more thrilling in person then your reputation has lead me to believe. I have been seeking something to make my sheltered existence a little more invigorating, if at least for a little while. You need not send a reply, if you are willing to do this simply meet me at my palace August 1st at seven.
Awaiting your arrival,
Princess Edith Greyfeather
Kenny breathed easier after reading the letter. Flash had made it seem like this was a date or something. All the Princess wants was to meet him. He then noticed the sound of heavy breathing. Looking up he saw the expression of whimpering terror on Flash's face as the pegasus saw something behind him, which also seemed to be the source of the heavy breathing. Kenny slowly turned to face a obviously distressed Luna, what with the fake smile, pinprick irises and overall crazy demeanor. Also the heavy breathing.
"Well?" Luna said, failing to keep the edge out of her voice. "Care to explain the situation, my dear, faithful, Kenny? I mean I'm sure you wouldn't do something like accept a date from somepony else whilst dating a demi-god , right?"
"Luna, I want you to listen for a second. Okay?" Kenny asked timidly. "Miss Edith only wants to meet me, nothing more."
Luna's face softened a little and she gave him a more stern look, "Nothing more?"
"Nothing more."
Luna gave a much warmer smile. "Good. I almost thought for a second there that I would need to break out the clamps." Before anyone could question her words she slammed her door shut, smacking Kenny square in the rear.
Flash flew up and patted Kenny on the back, "Buddy, you may have one of the hottest mares in the world, but your standing on very thin ice. I can only wish you the best of luck and hope it doesn't go south. I'll go get a carriage set-up."
Flash ran off, leaving Kenny to prepare for the party later that night. Kenny never really believed in any god here or back home, but he needed all the help he could get.
Oh dear Goddess... Kenny silently prayed, Protect me from misfortune, so as that I do not invoke the wrath of the Night...
Princess Edith was preparing. Her claws held a jeweled brush her father had gotten her years ago, brushing her fur till it was as smooth as silk. Once her coat was in order, she preened her feathers, making sure there wasn't a single thing out of place. She thought of her other preparations for this night. She had invited quite the guest to this sorry excuse of a party to liven things up. If any of the news she has been hearing from Equestria is true she would be getting far more than she bargained for. A male so dashing and fantastic as to win the favor of the Night itself? The first non-unicorn to use magic in a thousand years? This was going to be great.
Assuming that he showed up of course.
Edith decided not to worry about that as she retrieved her dress from the cavernous room that was called a wardrobe. Her eyes saw the dress in question, a rich blue and gold piece with none of the frill and all of the regal. She hated that her father never got her anything 'cool', just these extravagant and unbearable ballgowns. This one was the only dress she could stand to be seen in. She pulled the dress from the rack and began to dress.
Edith walked out of her room, crown on her crown and her paws and claws manicured to perfection. She hated being royal, but she still loved being pampered. She clapped her talons together and various servants were at her side in seconds. They began at once to ensure that everything about her was in absolutely perfect condition, from her golden coat to her pristine silver feathers. These feathers she shared with her father, and her grandfather, and his grandfather. They were her namesake.
It was quite literally the coolest thing she had.
Edith thought it was pathetic.
"Your Highness?" Edith smiled when she heard the voice of her ever present and talented butler, Armin.
"Yes Armin?"
"The human has arrived and is waiting for you in the lounge." Armin said in his ever polite and gentle voice. "Would you like for me to give him a message?"
Edith smiled, happy her guest had arrived on time, "Tell him that I will be along shortly, Armin."
Armin gave a bow. "Of course m'lady."
Armin left Edith to her preparations and navigated the same halls he has walked through for years. He wasn't too old and worked to not let it show. Still he had been servant to the Greyfeathers as long as the old gryphon could remember. His rich cocoa colored coat was grizzled and his white feathers were not untouched by time. Yet he still strives to be the best servant he could be. It was what he was born to do.
Armin gave the door to the lounge a solid knock before entering. He found the room's two occupants to be lying around in separate couches. Flash was lying on one couch quietly dozing, resting up from the flight he had made here. Kenny was also laying down, but having been sitting during the long flight there was growing restless. Kenny sat up when the old gryphon had entered. Armin once again had to withhold his amazement with this creature. He wore the same starry robes he had during his performance at Canterlot. The robes had made such an impression that it was now a new fashion trend. Even the gryphon nobles had begun wearing constellations.
Kenny was eager to get started, "Is her Highness ready?"
"No, she is yet to be presentable. She is, however, almost done. She asks you wait just a little more."
Kenny nodded his head as he laid down again. "Okay, I guess I'm stuck here till she is. Thank you mister..?"
"Armin Hammerclaw." The primped gryphon said with pride.
"Mister Hammerclaw then." Kenny said.
Armin left the room to Kenny and Flash Sentry, no doubt to go check on some other party preparation. Kenny sighed as he settled back in to couch. The whole setup was distinctly foreign.Equestrian architecture was archaic yet familiar. Gryphon architecture was more rigid and regal. The palace was very practical, sprawling over the land rather than soaring into the sky and was made of simple yet luxurious materials. The outer walls were gray stone and rugged wood. Numerous large windows allowed lots of natural light in during the day, not that it mattered now as the sun set. It washed the room in elegant oranges and yellows, the sky outside a distinct purple.
"It's so pretty..." Kenny turned to see Flash had woken up and was staring lazily out the window from his perch. "I've always loved this time of day. All the colors blend so perfectly."
"Is that so?" Kenny asked as he observed the sunset as well.
"Mmhmm..." Flash said before yawning and stretching out. This process was strangely reminiscent of a cat. "Is that gryphon Princess ready yet? I almost never get a full nap waiting around at these things."
"You know how long woman take to get ready." Kenny said.
"Woman?" Flash questioned, confused by the new word.
"Human word for female." Kenny explained.
"Oh. Kay."
They both went back to watching the sun lazily set over the distant mountains. Kenny did a silent-countdown in his head, re-counting a total of four times and sadly failed regardless. The sun's last rays faded and the stars slowly twinkled into existence. Kenny took notr that the constellations looked, well, off. Luna was always careful to ensure her stars were just right. Had something happened? Kenny hoped that it didn't have anything to do with going to the Ball. He began to wonder if he should call the whole thing off. He would probably break the poor girl's heart, but it was her or the one that could tear him a proverbial new behind without moving a muscle. The Princess... Kenny then remembered another hiccup. Princess Edith was the daughter of a King! Kings don't take kindly to their daughter's being upset.
Looks like I'm not going anywhere... Kenny thought solemnly.
Kenny was broken out of his lament by the sound of the door being thrown open by a vivacious, young gryphon lioness. Edith reveled in her own splendor. Her polished claws and beak shone brighter than silver, beat only be her pristine, jeweled crown of gold. Her dress accented the curves of her lithe body, one she was sure to keep nice for any potential suitors. She skulked into the room like a cat, head held high and proudly. She wanted to impress her guest, show him she was surely to be respected and loved. She was glad to see a stallion on one of the couch pratically drooling from her display. She turned to see Kenny's reaction.
"Oh good, you're done." Kenny said with barely a yawn. "I was about to doze off there. Ready to go?"
Edith put on her best smile while she screamed internally.
"Flash, up and at'em" Kenny said as he hopped from the couch and straigtened his robes. "We've got a party to attend."
"Wuh-huh? Oh, right." Flash snapped out of his daze and Edith would have marveled at Kenny's size and stature were it not for the fact that he seemed completely immune to her charms. Even the most chaste of males had succumbed to her feminine wiles. This thing was truly a creature of legend. If looks didn't impress him she would have to try something else. For now she would settle with showing him off at the party.
"Follow me." Edith said with more than a little excitement. "I'm sure tonight will be well beyond any of our expectations."
Luna knew this was wrong. She should have stayed home and forgotten about the whole thing. But she couldn't forget, that was why she was approaching the Greyfeather Palace. She shouldn't have kept thinking about Kenny and the party. She shouldn't have have worried about Kenny and Princess Edith, but she did. She never should have stopped working on the stars to rationalize her fears to herself in a failed self-pep-talk. Most of all, she never should have snuck out of the castle with the intent to spy on her boyfriend and show that she had no faith in the man she has been in a perfect relationship with for several weeks, nope.
Yet here she was.
Luna hated herself on levels she was sure none could match.
"I'm the worst marefriend in at least a couple hundred years..." Luna would have said a thousand, but this doesn't beat the mare that had ripped off her lover's penis during an intamite moment with him. With her teeth , Luna added with a shiver.
She saw the various lights coming from the castle courtyard as she approached. She landed on an empty balcony overlooking the courtyard and observed from there. As she did she cast a spell that slightly reduced her size to a less noticeable fashion. She cutoff the magic giving her mane and tail their ethereal qualities and watched as they drooped down into their crystal blue color, no longer floating in the arcane. Next was an illusion spell that rendered her horn invisble to the naked eye. Luna pulled up the hood of a special cloak of hers that was older than Canterlot. It was a simple eggshell white affair with modest design, showing little flair and yet still quite nice to look at. At first glance most would call it 'normal' for lack of a better word. That was it's sole purpose. It's lack of any outstanding features, be they good or bad, meant anypony wearing it could blend into almost any situation. The only way for anyone to notice her was if they were purposefully looking for her, and even then she could use it to easily slip away. This was Luna's infiltration gear.
Once it was all set she looked into the crowd for her target. It was easy, all things considered. Luna's eyes easily found the tall bipedal man that towered over his four-legged brethren. The shining golden armor of Flash Sentry helped as well. Luna saw Kenny was talking with a large group of gryphon nobles at a table. They would occasionally laugh, telling Luna that he was probably making idle small talk with them. Edith was also there, sitting next to Kenny. Luna suppressed the jealousy welling up in her upon seeing this, remembering that all are innocent until proven guilty. That was why she was here, to ensure that no one was guilty of anything.
In theory.
With her target's location established she began to look for a way to actually join the party without catching anyone's eye. She noticed a large hedge maze a little off to her right. It was no Canterlot maze, but it would work perfectly for her. She leapt from the balcony and performed a short glide to the maze, landing just inside of it. She then moved for the exit. Upon reaching it, she checked to see if any guards had seen her. Satisfied that none had spotted her she silently blended with the crowd of nobles.
Kenny was trading stories with a group of Princess Edith's close friends. After a short while of being paraded around like a trophy Edith had thanked him for coming and offered to introduce him to some real nobles. They all had admired him for a couple minutes and asked if he would like to tell them a little about his time here. Flash had come with, sitting one over from Kenny next to the Princess. He had spent a good while talking with them. Flash too put out a couple fun tales, including one where a changeling had almost gotten him into bed. That was an interesting tale. Right now one of the nobles, Hannes, was telling a story about a hunting trip with his pals in the Black Forest near his home.
"So, my bud Deringer 'anks out his scimitar and charge's the damn thing." Hannes said with an accent reminiscent of TF2's Sniper. "It just glares right back at'em with this eval gleam in its eye and roars. The bugger scared Deringer right out'a of his boots. I had to shoot the blasted beast before it turned my friend into fresh meat. Hit the wanker square between the eyes."
Kenny let out a low whistle while the rest of the table gave Hannes praise for his skillfull kill of a wild boar. Kenny couldn't help but notice that all of Edith's friends were dudes. He decided to find out why.
"Your highness," Kenny started. "Why are all your friends guys? Surely you have some galpals, right?"
Edith blushed a little in embarrassment.
"The lassy doesn't quite take to being a prissy princess." Another gryphon, Carlton, said in her stead. "She's much to brash for the job. Drinks when she should dance, brawls before she gossips, as likely to hit a lad as kiss him. Still, us rogues love 'er all the same."
"Oh hush Carlton, you're making me blush!" Edith said covering her face with a claw.
"We would if we could sweetheart." Grant, the last gryphon at the table said. "You're much too pretty to not praise."
"You know flattery won't get you in my bed right?" Edith snidely said.
"Right, there's never been a male to take you to bed it's all ways been the other way around. Who is it today?" Grant sneeringly said back.
Edith put on a face of mock horror, adopting a fake fancy accent in her response. "Whatever do you mean? Do you mean to imply that I am some floozy? I assure you that I am not!"
"Floozy, no. But you've never kept a guy around longer than a night. It's why your father is so insistent you finally settle with one and give him an heir."
"Pfft. Like I give a damn. I'll marry when I damn well please."
"Amen to that." Carlton said raising his glass of whiskey.
"You have quite the friends Princess." Kenny said as he sipped his wine. He was no stranger to alcohol, having enjoyed fine wines with his parents at parties.
"Please, after all that you've done, call me Edith."
"Only if you call me Kenny."
Edith gave a small nod and turned to the stallion next to her, "So Flash Sentry, I haven't yet been told how you have come to know Kenny."
Flash took a break from his hard cider to answer, "I'm Kenny's personal guard in service of the crown."
"Oh? But you seem like such good friends.."
Kenny answered, "We are, it's just he knows me because he's my guard. We hit off on his first day and we've been bros since."
"So is he, you know, you're brony? " Edith said with a snicker. Kenny fought to avoid spitting his wine and Flash contemplated the nickname for a little bit.
"I like it brony. I'll take it." Flash said. "But only if Kenny's my broman!"
Kenny's heart was warmed by Flash's response, bumping hoof and fist with him. "You got it brony."
"Well if you two are done, there's been something I've been dying to find out." Edith asked.
"Shoot." Kenny said as Flash went back to his cider.
"So, Flashy boy, got a mare back home?" Edith had been expecting the same flustered response she had seen all night, not the look of dejection and sudden lift of his cider mug.
Kenny answered for him, "He tried to ask out his crush the other day only to find out she's gay."
All the gryphon's at the table let out remarks of sympathy, Carlton giving him a brotherly pat on the back.
"Ah, fuck this. I say we all get a drink at the bar in the name of our fallen comrade, those who agree say 'aye'."
"Aye!" Rang the voices of the table.
"You guys really know how to lift a dude's spirits." Flash said as he was pulled to the open bar.
No one noticed the white cloaked mare following them with a proud smile on her face.
"Uh, what happened last night?" Flash said as he layed on what felt like the most comfortable bed ever. He knew he must be dreaming because there was no way in hell he would be this comfortable in his own bed. He decided to enjoy the dream bed more and sank deeper into it, but felt something hard press against his side from inbetween the bed and his hide. He lifted the blankets to see talons wrapped around his middle and evidence of a lot more than cuddling.
"Do I dare turn around?" Flash whispered to himself.
"Mmmm... Morning hot stuff..." Said, undoubtedly, the voice of Princess Edith.
Author's Note
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HUGE MOTHER LOAD OF A CHAPTER!!!
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Author's Note
Sexual Theme Warning. If topics regarding fornication offend you feel free to skip this chapter for the most part. Anything you miss will be deeply important to the story and if you're still reading this, seriously its not that bad. Bear with me. Read it and if you didn't like it just read something else, there are plenty of cleaner, better stories. Thank you for your consideration.
Bash Flash
"Kenny! Get up ya wanker!" Kenny's eyes fluttered open and was met with the golden eyes of Hannes. Kenny sat up too find himself sleepin on top of a still-sleeping Carlton and Grant. Kenny looked back to Hannes and noticed the tired eyes amd irritated grimace. Add that Hannes formerly groomed red feathers and white coat were stained in various places and the precarious placement of a lampshade on his head, and Kenny thought that he was at a college instead of a royal palace.
"Finally! Ya know 'ow 'ard it is to get yer blooming arse up! ? Ya sleep 'eavier than a blasted rock. Your marefriend's been hunting for ya, I'd go and speak to her if I was ya." Hannes said pointing a talon to the door at the end of the room. Hannes felt another twinge of pain from his headache and grasped his skull with his claws, beak twisted into a grimace.
Kenny let out a long yawn and a stretch as he sat up. He made for the door with barely a thanks to the gryphon and groaned as his own headache started to flare up. He had only ever heard of hangovers, how foolish it had been not to heed the warnings of over indulgence. As he walked slowly to the door he noticed that his robes were hanging on a chair. He looked down to find he was in a tattered undershirt and had numerous scratches across his abdomen.
"What the hell happened last night?" He grabbed his robe and finished his trek to the door, feeling like crap the whole away. When he opened the door he was met with a wave of blue magic. It passed through him like a cool breeze, washing away the hangover much the same way a wave clears the sand on a beach.
"Better?" Luna asked with a warm smile.
Kenny grinned appreciatively back. "Better. What time is it?" Kenny asked as he pulled his robe back on.
"About nine in the morning. Is that everything? I wan't to leave as soon as possible." Luna said as she circled Kenny, checking that all his articles were in check. It looked like he hadn't lost anything during the party, good thing she was there to ensure that.
"What's the rush?" Kenny asked walking out the door, deciding to leave the Band of Rogues to their sleep.
"If I remember correctly, we were in the middle of something were we not?" Luna said with the best bedroom eyes she could muster. The tone of her voice and the look of her eye's both flew right over Kenny's head, on account that he noticed a certain pegasus was missing from his usual place by his side.
"Where's Flash?" The innocent question threw Luna for a spin, she had been so busy keeping track of Kenny last night she had lost Flash along the way. She had realized he was missing and went to look for him only to turn up with nothing and to find Kenny had gotten into friendly albeit drunken fights with his three new guy friends.
"I do not know." Luna answered. "Was he not with you?"
"No, he wasn't. It was just me and Edith's friends. Speaking of, where's Edith?" Kenny could assume she had simply went back to her own room, but he had learned last night she was no lady after a couple hard scotches. She wouldn't have minded waking up surrounded by the rapscallions she called friends. Luna hadn't cared about Edith's dissappearence, finding it only helped her check that Kenny not get involved in any excessive mischief.
"I'm sure she is sound asleep in her bed. Now I think we should focus on finding Flash and heading home." So I can snuggle the harmony out of you. Luna added internally. Kenny agreed, but where to start? Maybe Edith would know, assuming she wasn't too hungover to help...
"Is this real life?" Flash asked as the royal gryphon nuzzled him.
"It sure isn't fantasy..." Edith breathed as she surrounded herself in the musk of the stallion. Flash absentmindedly snuggled back, his unbreakable thousand-yard stare trying to find the truth of his position. He snapped out of his thoughts when Edith dragged a talon down his back, elliciting a strange, yet oddly familiar, sensation.
"You are quite talented, I'll give you that." Edith whispered into his ear. "Where did you learn to do that?"
"If I could remember what it was I would be glad to share." Flash said with a shaky grin. Edith's expression turned from a satisfied lethrgic to surprised concern.
"You don't... But it was amazing! You did things that no other lover has ever done before with me. It was like sex nirvana!" Edith said with genuine pity. "I can't stop thinking about it! Surely you learned them somewhere!"
"Princess, you are the first female I have ever hit the hay with. I have never learned or praticed anything." Edith gave him a look of shock and awe.
"Then you're just that naturally talented!?" Edith pratically yelled, grabbing Flash by his shoulders. "Do you know what this means!"
"Noo..." Flash said timidly, the statement sounding like a question.
"It means that you have no where to go but up! " Edith said excitedly. "You'll revoultionize the world of bed-ridden pleasure!" Edith stared off at some fantasy land where Flash was a sex god, whilst the real Flash was both grateful and embarrassed by the compliments he had recieved thus far.
"So what now?"
Edith stopped there. It was a question she hadn't expected. Usually after she laid a male she would find something about them that turned her off, like being a total snob or treating her like she couldn't think for herself (which they recieved a prompt beating for). The only guys she found tolerable where the Band of Rogues, and she hadn't touched any of them. Maybe... Maybe she should give Flash a chance?
Flash sat there trying his best to remember what had happened last night. Tartarus take him if he was gonna let the night he lost his virginity slip away from him. He rubbed his head in concentration, trying to see past the haze of alcohol to where his memories were stored. Edith trying to decide whether or not to actually start something with Flash went unnoticed by him. Eventually he sick of the stickiness from last night and asked if he could Edith's shower. She nodded her head in an affirmitave and watched the stallion walk to her bathroom, admiring the ripped flank of the pegasus guard. Now she knew why her hips were so sore.
She finally left the bed when she heard the shower turn on. She didn't know what to do then, she couldn't freshen up with Flash in the bathroom, she couldn't go outside as she was, and she couldn't eat without going outside. She was stuck. She began to regret letting Flash take the shower, right up until she got a devious and lewd idea. She waltzed into the bathroom eager to get started on her day.
"Armin! Thank heavens! Do you know where Flash is?" Kenny said as he approached the old gryphon enjoying a spot of tea, Luna not far behind. He gently layed his cup down on his saucer before speaking in his crisp, polite voice.
"Yes, I do. He should be in her Highness's quarters, assuming she hasn't kicked him out yet. I'd hurry, he has maybe ten minutes." He said as calmly as if he were talking about the weather.
"Wait, what? What is that supposed to mean?" Kenny asked, sidetracked by his confusion.
"No time to explain." Armin said without even opening his eyes, pushing Kenny in the direction of Princess Edith's room. "Twenty doors down on your right." With that Armin left to complete some more of his butler duties. Kenny figured he would find out what he meant when he got there. He followed Armin's directions, Luna sticking as close and as silent as ever. He came to a guarded oak door with gold accents. The guards saw them and asked them to wait, one of them entering the room. He was gone for barely a minute before returning with a look of utter shock, whispering something into his partner's ear. Once they both shared a look of shock they turned to their confused spectators.
"Are you friends with the orange pegasus?" One guard asked. Kenny nodded an affirmative. The guard nervously scratched his neck as he continued. "Your friend is, um... He is, uh, occupied as of right now by the Princess. They have requested that you wait a little longer while they, eh, 'freshen up'." The gryphon looked almost guilty as the Kenny processed this and Luna realized what was going on.
"Wait, freshen up? Why is Flash in her room to begin with? I mean wha-" Kenny was stopped by Luna giving him a forceful nudge. When she had gotten Kenny's attention she gestured with her head to down the hall. The guards breathed sighs of relief as they left. When they were around the corner the other guard finally spoke up. "Gods above, why does this always happen! This is the third time this week I've walked in on a couple making love, it's like I'm cursed!"
"I told you not to piss of that zebra, that voodoo junk ain't a joke."
Kenny was a little irritated that Luna had pulled him away from getting his friend back. "This better be good Luna! I wanna know what Edith is keeping Flash locked up for!"
"Do you really want to know?" Luna asked teasingly. "Cause I have a pretty good idea."
"Really?" Kenny asked, grabbing Luna by her shoulder. "Tell me woman!" Luna used a hoof to pull Kenny's ear to her mouth, her fuzzy muzzle tickling the sensitive skin.
She whispered in the smallest little voice, a hint of girlish glee permeating it, "They are rutting like rabbits!"
Kenny gave her a deadpan, "Wut?"
Luna let out a quiet giggle, loving the reaction she got from him. "They are making love, Love. I sugest we head home while they have their fun."
"Wut?"
Luna magically pulled him along as his brain processed what he had been told. A part of him that still functioned took a note that it should honestly have gotten use to the mind-fucks by now, but mind-fucked he was regardless. He sat in disbelief with his best friends luck all the way back to Canterlot.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Flash asked Kenny, who was setting up gigantic firework on a Canterlot Castle balcony. He tied the rocket's stand to the balcony to ensure there wouldn't be any nasty surprises.
"You fucked a ferocious, man-eating, clawed woman, who is also a gryphon. You tell me," Kenny said with a smug smirk.
"Are you ever going to stop pratting on about that?" Flash yelled in frustration, hooves colliding with his face. "It's been a week! We haven't done it since!"
"Bullshit, you think I don't know when she visits?" Flash's face turned to one of fearful shock. "Or how you always head off to the dungeons when she does. If you wanted to have some privacy I would have been glad to give you guys my room and a muffling spell." Kenny said with a little indignation from his friends lack of trust. "I'm your bro, we look out for eachother."
Flash shamefully rubbed the back of his head. "I-I'm sorry. It's just this relationship is risky enough as it is, I didn't want to risk anyone catching wind that Edith and I were doing it."
"Why does it matter?" Kenny asked as he double-checked the rig. "If the media makes a bunch a crap about it just ignore it, it's what me and Luna do."
"It's not the public eye we're avoiding, it's her father's eye we want to avoid." Flash explained, staring off the balcony to the horizon. "He doesn't take kindly to his daughter flirting with 'a pony peasant'."
Kenny winced, "Oooooo... Harsh."
"Yeah..." Flash said with a hint of gloom, but perked up when he spoke again, "Thanks for your help Kenny. With your help, we can probably keep this going a little longer. Though, I have to ask. What are you going to do while we catch up?"
"Luna doesn't matter the reason, if I ask to stay the night in her room she leaps on it like a cat. Sometimes I do it just to see her reaction." Kenny said with a chuckle. "Okay, it's all set. Ready to see this baby blow?"
"Where did you get this thing anyway?" Flash asked as he approached what he believed to be the minimum safe distance.
"From Trixie, an amateur unicorn magician. Had this baby in her mobile home. Got it for twenty bits and a recommendation."
"Recommendation?"
"I made an off statement to the paparazzi that she was good. That's all she wanted. The twenty bits I had to pratically force her to take." Kenny explained. He flicked his thumb out of his fist whilst muttering Ignis , a small flame igniting on the tip. "I've always wanted to do that..."
He held out his thumb to the long fuse of the firework. Once it started burning away he ran over to Flash and pulled up a protective barrier. Flash gave him a dirty look when he saw the translucent black barrier seperate the from the firework.
"What?" Kenny said. "I never said it wasn't dangerous."
They both watched as the fuse slowly burned it's way to the rocket. When it reached it's destination the two plugged their ears with their respective appendages. They waited for the inevitable boom of the ignition, but it never came. The firework weakly fizzled and went out. When Kenny didn't hear the roar he was expecting he looked at the dud and growled in anger.
"That lousy cheat!" He yelled, dropping the barrier and stomping towards the firework. He gave it a swift kick, dislodging it fro it's stand. When he did the firework suddenly began to emit more sparks. Flash saw this and did what any decent bodyguard would.
Flash tackled Kenny to the ground, yelling, "Get down!"
The firework finally went off, flying into the balcony rail and bouncing off it like a billiard's ball. It flew straight into the castle wall before deflecting again and flying in a huge arc away from the castle and to the countryside below. The two boys watched with baited breath as it went lower and farther till...
KRAKOOM!!!
They stared in awe as the firework ignited the air in a fantastic display of colored light's of every coloer flying in every direction. It was so bright that the even the sun didn't outshine it. Every flare that was produced itself exploded into another bloom of color, and every flare from that did as well, until the whole countryside was awashed with sparkling gold dust. Kenny and Flash stayed where they were for the time being, still admiring the display.
"Best twenty bits spent ever! " Flash finally said.
Kenny was going to add something along the lines of 'Sending Trixie a new cape and hat' when he saw something that made him freak.
"Uh oh.."
"What is I-SHIT!" Flash said as the steadly rising thin trail of smoke caught his eye.
"What are we gonna do!" Flash said getting off of Kenny. "The Princesses are gonna kill us!"
"No they won't." Kenny said with determination. "We're going to stop this now."
"How?!"
"Like this, Teletrans! " In a flash of light, Flash and Kenny we're transported directly above the fire.
About a couple hundred feet above to be exact. Flash saw his friend begin to plummet like a stone and immediately flew to catch him, Kenny screaming all the while. Just as Flash was about to grab him he vanished again. Flash immediately panicked and began looking around for his friend, fearing the worse. He stopped when he felt a rock collide with his armor, he turned to find it's thrower and received another pebble to his barrel. He found Kenny sitting in a tree with the biggest grin on his face. Flash glared at him, seething.
"You prick! You almost gave me a heartattack!" Flash yelled as he approached his bro. "If you ever do that again, I'll buck you to Appleloosa!"
"Oh, piss off. I'm fine aren't I?" Kenny said as he clambered from the tree. "Come on, let's find the fire before it spreads." Doing this was pretty easy, they only walked a couple yards when the burning foliage came into view. The fire had claimed three trees already and the underbrush beneath it. They would have to act quickly if they wanted to stop it. Kenny first contained the fire by surrounding the area in a bubble of magic, once that was set up he told Flash to get a rain cloud. Kenny waited and fed the barrier while Flash did his part. All was well up until a bush moved . Then the bush turned out to be a gigantic flaming timber-wolf that ran straight for the barrier. It rammed right against it and Kenny felt the whole construct's integrity drop. He struggled to keep it together as it rammed again and again. He wanted to let it go, but it would probably maul him after it spread the fire and fucked the forest. It pained him to see it burn before his eyes. He prayed that Flash would be quick.
It took a whole five minutes for Flash to get the cloud and return. He postioned it above the fire and waited for Kenny to create an opening before making it rain. It took another couple minutes before it was completely out and Kenny dropped the barrier. Kenny rushed to the spot where the timber-wolf had been to find the charred body laying on the ground. Flash flew down to find Kenny lying over it, looking for any signs of life. Seeing this Flash grabbed him and pulled him away from it, saying, "What are you doing! Do you want to get killed!"
Kenny shrugged him off and prepared the healing spell he had for the times he experimented with magic, a precaution he made after Celestia broke his leg. He didn't know if it would work, but he really didn't want to live with the guilt of setting an animal on fire and watching it burn in agony right in front of him. He placed his glowing hands on the animal and was glad to sense it was still alive. He fed it his magic, forcing its body to heal itself. He watched the charred wood of the timber-wolf's body began to regain it's color, the burns fading back to their regular brown and leaves budding on it's back. Kenny began to feel faint as he cut off the magic and saw the slow rise and fall of the timber-wolves breath.
"Whew! That's better. Come on Flash, I think I've got enough juice left to get us home. Just let me- OH MY GOD!!!" Kenny yelled when the timber-wolf pounced on him. Flash made to help him but stop when instead of screams of agony he heard peals of ticklish laughter. The timber-wolf licked away at Kenny's face, Kenny trying his best to make it stop whilst it did.
"No! Haha! Please, buddy! Bahahaha! Come, haha, on!" Kenny yelled out.The timber-wolf did eventually stop sitting on its haunches while Kenny recovered and Flash Sentry watched.
"What the Fuck!?" Flash said throwing his hooves at the complete bullshit in front of him.
"Awwww, you're kinda cute!" Kenny said, scratching the wood behind the timber-wolf's ears. "I'm gonna name you Holly."
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
TIIIIIMMMBBERRRRR!!!!!!!!
"No! Bad Holly! No attacking Blueblood!" Kenny yelled, smacking the hardwood of the wolf's snout. "His snobbery will give you a stomach ache." It had been relatively easy to train Holly, she had grown particularly loyal to Kenny since the day he saved her. Eager to please him, she was quick to pick up on what pleased him and what didn't. Attacking Pony equals hard raps on the snout, like she was getting now. Eating anything but the food in her bowl equaled a stomach ache and more hard raps. Pooping anywhere that wasn't grass equaled raps. Being nice to Pony equaled treats. Being nice to Big Blue Pony equaled more treats. Golden Pony was a coward and scaring him, but not hurting him on command equaled amazing pets and treats. Holly had amassed this database of information over the course of her 'breaking in' at the hands of Kenny and Luna. Once Kenny had convinced Celestia he could train the beast, Luna had been quick to help, her work with psychological manipulation being immensely helpful in training Holly. Using Luna as a stand in, the first thing they taught her was not to attack the general populace. Once she stopped trying to maul Luna, the rest was much easier.
And yet, Holly still attacked Blueblood on a regular basis. Kenny tried his best to make her stop but nothing was working. Luckily the Prince was never hurt, which only confused Kenny more. What no one knew was that Blueblood wore a exotic cologne made by the master alchemists of Zebrica, from Zebrican Timber-Wolf flower. The same flower that bloomed during mating season. Holly wasn't attacking Blueblood, she was humping him. Of course Kenny didn't know this.
Kenny magically stripped the Timber-wolf off a jaded Blueblood. Twenty times this had happened, he barely even cared anymore. He just got back up, dusted himself off, and left. Holly let out a low whine, pining for Blueblood, held back only by Kenny's firm hand on the leafy scruff of her neck. The interesting thing about Holly was her size. She was at least double the size of the timber-wolves on the show, not counting the super timber-wolf. Holly was easily as large as Celestia was tall. This combined with Kenny's own intimidating height over the ponies helped the public image of being a general bad-ass in all things. When news got around that Kenny had tamed an over sized timber-wolf, pony's flipped. A game was announced to be made in his honor as the image of a species of what was undoubtedly an impressive and powerful race of warriors. It was gonna be called Exodus Earth. Kenny was even asked to attend an interview later that week so they can toss around more ideas to put in the game.
Kenny guided Holly back to her room/kennel. It had a reinforced, oaken door and the walls were cast with a warding spell so Holly wouldn't try to claw through them. The room's furniture was replaced with shrubbery and logs for Holly to play with. Kenny found she handled herself well on her own, a strange quality for a pack animal. The guide he had retrieved about timber-wolves had said that lone timber-wolves were rare and often even more dangerous. Little was known about them, meaning that the book could only speculate why these wolves were isolated. Some experts believe that they are rejected from their packs at an early age and, having survived to maturity on their own, never seek out another pack to join. These wolves are often short-lived; without their packs to aid them in their hunting and defense. Another unusual thing about Holly was her size. Timber-wolves are known to merge, a defense mechanism for instances where mere numbers isn't enough to overcome a threat or kill a prey. This would easily explain her size at first. Timber-wolves don't stay merged for long, and the merges have only been reported between male timber-wolves, Holly has been this size for at least a week and has been thoroughly confirmed as female. To make matters more confusing, Holly shouldn't have been able to merge in the first place what with lacking a pack to call her own. She was an anomaly.
Kenny locked the door behind him as he walked into Holly's room. Holly was quick to start playing with a rope toy made from cord as thick as Kenny's arm. She layed down on her belly gnawing on the plaything. Kenny sat next to her, resting on her wooden side. It wasn't as comfortable as he would've liked, but Holly loved having him around. That was the thing about Holly, she seemed absolutely devoted to Kenny. Luna thought that by saving her life Kenny had invoked upon himself the same unconditional love that all pets have for their master's. Females always bow to the alpha male in packs. so Kenny being the only male she considers in her pack, Holly follows him. Kenny had kept her out of a combination of things, first and foremost being the guilt he had for the burns that still adorned her body. The blackened wood was the seal on Kenny's imaginary pack to redeem himself for nearly killing an innocent animal. The second part was that in all honesty, Holly filled that hole he has had since he was a child, the desire for a puppy. Holly may be a gigantic, fully-grown, wooden wolf, but in Kenny's eye's she was that cute pup his parent's never let him have. The last part was found on their way home after the fire. Kenny only had enough energy to teleport them to a nearby road, and was dead tired afterwards. He was much to large for Flash to carry and so the pegasus got an idea. He carefully placed his charge on Holly's back and lead the wolf to Canterlot. Holly never minded, so Kenny considered her his mount, jokingly calling her a 'timber-worg'.
Scratching the leaves behind her ear with one hand and holding the Explorer's Guide to Timber-Wolves Kenny relaxed, waiting for Flash to finish 'catching up' with Princess Edith. He had reached the part about timber-wolf mating habits when Luna let herself in.
"Morning Kenny." Luna said with a little cheer. "I hope you and Holly are doing well?"
"We are, I guess." Kenny responded as he read. "Still don't know why she keeps jumping ole' Bluebutt's bones. I'm starting to think he smells like a pot-roast to her."
"What's a pot-roast?" Luna asked.
"Nevermind..." He said, looking up from his book. "The point I'm trying to make is that it isn't Holly, it's Blueblood. She doesn't even attempt to hurt him when she pounces. All she ever does is sniff him like a, well, a dog! Something about Blueblood intrigues and attracts her." Kenny returned to his reading and Luna joined him in lounging on Holly. Holly had ignored Luna's prescence until that point, where she looked up from her toy to inspect Luna. After giving her a wary glance and earning a tongue as her only response she went back to destroying her toy.
Luna sighed as she leaned against Kenny, eyes drooping considerably. It took little more than a minute for Kenny to notice the snores. Luna had fallen asleep right on his shoulder. He mentally shrugged and went on reading. Things were fine right up until Luna fell off his shoulder and in to his lap her muzzle landing in the most inappropriate of places. She woke with a start and Kenny panicked, shoving her away.
"Huh! Oh... Sorry." Luna said with a tired yawn. "I'm awake now."
"Why are you so tired?" Kenny asked.
"I should really stop stayin up all day playing video games." Luna pondered, oblivious to Kenny. "But they're so much fun!"
"Luna you're scaring me."
"Oh, hello Kenny! Give me some sugar!" Luna sloppily mashed her face with Kenny. Kenny was now sure Luna had lost her mind. He disentangled himself from Luna, much to her tired protest. He set the mare down in front of him and she assaulted with a pouty face not seen for a thousand years. Before the gaze could impact him Kenny asked his question, "Are you okay? Have you been getting enough sleep?"
Luna sighed. "No."
"Why not?" Luna snuggled up closer to him before answering.
"Because you aren't awake at night. I can't force you to change your sleeping schedule just for me."
"What?" Kenny asked a little bewildered. Luna bopped him on the head for his sheer stupidity.
"I do my work at night. So I sleep during the day. I stay up to hang out with you." Luna said with a little frustration and that look you get when talking to a less than intelligent person. "I stayed up playing videogames yesterday so now I'm dead tired and would appreciate the nap without interruption." With that Luna curled up next to him, placing her head back on to his lap like a dog would. It wasn't long before she was quietly snoring again, unaware that she had heaped a ton of guilt onto her boyfriend with her blunt wording.
"God damn it, Luna."
"Are you sure he won't mind?" Twilight asked her mentor as they walked down the hall. She had just gotten back from Rarity's competition in Manehattan and had stopped in Canterlot to ask Kenny for help in getting Flash to go out with her. It had taken a ton of guts to admit to her friends and teacher. Now she hoped Kenny wouldn't find it awkward.
"I know for a fact that he has been looking for a mare to woo young Flash, Twilight." Celestia reassured her with a warm smile she saved just for her student. "He'll be glad to help." Celestia chose to withhold that Flash had struck out with miss Merry Weather only a few weeks earlier, unsure how Twilight may react to the information. After all these years, Twilight was still a bit of an enigma to her.
"Here we are!" Celestia said when they reached Kenny's room. "He's usually in here. If not just ask around and someone will be bound to know where he is. Now I have a meeting to attend so I'll see you later today, goodbye Twilight!"
"Goodbye Celestia!" Twilight hesitated at the door. She was unsure about this, and a million scenarios ran through her head of what could go wrong. She stopped herself and remembered what Rarity had said on the train here, It is better to have lost then to never to have tried in the first place. Her resolve hardened she pushed open the door.
The smell her first, the smell of sweat and a mixture of other, unfamiliar, musky smells. Then she saw the bed, more importantly the two shocked individuals caught mid-coitus. Twilight saw Flash Sentry on top of some random gryphon, the sheets thankfully covering the worst of it from her eyes. Twilight slowly backed out of the door, the image forever burned into her mind. Flash watched with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"I'm so fired." He said, his pride deflating quicker than a balloon (if you know what I mean).
Twilight ran through the halls, unaware of the drops of salt-water falling from her face.
Kenny and Holly were in the castle courtyards, Kenny having just dropped off Luna in her bed.
"Stay Holly. Good girl." Kenny wrapped the measuring tape around her barrel, writing the number down on a notepad of his. It was the final measurement before he sent the numbers to perfect fit to get a saddle made. If he was going to ride her, he was going to need something between his privates and the hardwood and twigs of Holly's back. He gave the notepad to a servant and checked Holly for any loose branches and dead leaves. Satisfied she was in the best shape he could hope for, he turned back to the black scars spread over her entire body. He powered up his healing spell and went to work. It was considerably harder this time, the scar tissue was less than agreeable and took some work to get rid of. Holly flinched when the fibers began to re-weave themselves into their proper positions. The scars had shrunk considerably by the time he ran out of mana.
"At this rate, we'll be done by the end of the week." Kenny scratched behind Holly's leafy ears. "How about some lunch?" He took Holly's long sweep over his face to mean 'yes'. He hopped aboard and kicked his heels into her sides. She bounded off towards the castle gardens where Kenny fed her rats that were caught on castle grounds. Initially they fed her fish, but Kenny found she enjoyed her meal more if she could chase it. So Kenny set up live-capture traps for various varmints that skulked the massive castle and released them in a enclosed section of the gardens. When they reached the spot he hopped off and headed for the cage hidden in the bushes. He found the string that opened the gate and readied to open it.
"Okay Holly, ready?" He said to the eager timber-wolf who was wagging her tail off. "GO!"
Five rats the size of cats scampered out of the cages. An unlucky one was instantly snapped up in Holly's jaws. She slurped the tail like a noodle and ran after the rest. "You better find them all!" Kenny shouted to her as she vanished in the brush. He sat on a nearby bench and waited for her to arrive. To his surprise, Twilight walked into the clearing, downtrodden and crying. Without ever looking at Kenny she sat on the same bench and continued to wail. Kenny stared in absolute befuddlement at the scene before him, unsure what to think. He reached out a hand to console her.
"Don't touch me!" Twilight yelled without looking up, still bawling. Kenny's hand made a hasty retreat back to the established safe-zone by his side. After a while Twilight stopped crying and simply sat there sadly, looking at the ground as if it were the answer to all her stallion troubles. Kenny opened his mouth to ask if what was wrong.
"I'm paaatheetic-ic-ic-ic." Twilight yelled with a fresh volley of tears, her hooves wrapping around Kenny for support. She buried her tearful face into his chest as she spoke. "What kind of princess can't ask out a stallion!? A pathetic one I tell you! Pathetic! I don't deserve someone like Flash! I'm never going to get a stallion-friee-hend!" Then the hiccups started. "And now I'm *hic* crying like a filly on *hic* you! I'm so *hic sorry for how I'm acting. *hic* I understand *hic* if you want me to leave. It's just so..*hic* so..*hic* HAAAAA-AR-ARD!!!!! " By this point Kenny was thoroughly soaked in tears and begging for a reason to leave. It came in the form of a wooden canine. Holly came bounding back to Kenny, mouth stained with the virgin blood of overgrown rodents. Holly came right up to the as of yet unaware Twilight, and sniffed at her hair. When her curiosity had been sated she gave Twilight a friendly, bloody lick. This got the hiccuping mare's attention, her hair now streaked with the same virgin blood. Holly gave her the happiest smile Kenny had ever saw on an animal, it melted his heart.
And nearly stopped Twilight's, evidenced by her subsequent fainting. She flopped to the ground like a rag doll, foaming at the mouth and paler than any Pale Horse.
"Ffffffffff-"
"Oh this is priceless." Princess Edith chuckled as her stallionfriend started to hyperventilate from hearing that Twilight had a crush on him. Kenny handed him a paperbag from the infirmary's stock, having already taken Twilight there. Now they were all in her room as she recovered. "It's like a fairy tale! The Princess falls in love with the dashing Knight and they live happily ever after. What a laugh!"
"You know you're doing the exact same thing now?" Kenny commented. Edith was unfazed.
"Not hardly. Last I check, buttloads of sex never happened in fairy tales."
"Sex aside, what do we tell my sister?" A just-woken Luna asked. "She will not be pleased to see her beloved student heart-broken and recovering from a heart-attack. By the way, why was her hair saturated in blood?"
Kenny nervously answered, "Uh.. I may have been feeding Holly live food..."
"Kenneth!"
"What? You don't see how happy she is to hunt! It's probably the only thing keeping her from eating any of Celestia's other animals." Kenny remarked.
"What about the poor animals you let die?!" Luna rebutted.
"A couple of rats? Like anyone will miss those!" Kenny said, voice rising. Edith flew between the two, keeping them both at bay with her talons.
"Alright love birds calm down. So Kenny's monster dog eats rats, big deal. We need to figure out how to break the news to Celestia."
"We could, oh I don't know, just tell her! " Kenny's voice dripped with sarcasm.
Luna fixed him with a serious stare, "You wan't to tell the most powerful alicorn in history that her well loved student and friend's heart was shattered to bits, then nearly scared to death?"
"Yes!" Kenny responded. "It's like you guys think she'll punish us! The heartbreaking was in no way any of our faults. If anything, I would get heat for letting Holly sneak up on her like that. If you guys are going to be a bunch of pansies about this I'll do it." Kenny left the infirmary and headed straight for Celestia's office. He knew she was there because he had seen her guards posted outside the door. They opened the door for him and Kenny walked in, ready to deliver the news.
"Celestia, I've got some bad news..." Was all the guards heard before the door closed. A short five seconds later the door was whisked open again and a white blur sped past them, a powerful gust of wind following it's wake. The gust was powerful enough to close the door as well as unbalance the guards. The guards lay splayed out on the floor, slowly recovering from the strange turn of events. The door opened thrice and Kenny walked out looking a little disheveled.
"All I said was Twilight's in the infirmary..."
"Poor Twilight." Celestia moaned. "Flash was her first crush. She never paid attention to colts as a filly. It was just so cute to see her fawn over him. Too bad it was never to be." Celestia gently caressed Twilight's sleeping face. She was glad that it was only an emotional overload and not the unforeseen consequences of unprotected sex that assailed her student. Kenny would have to be more clear on why her student was in the infirmary. Poor Flash wouldn't be able to walk for at least several days.
"Is there anything I can do to help your Highness?" Princess Edith gingerly asked. "I can't help but feel as if I am responsible for this."
"No, thank you Princess Grayfeather." Celestia gave Twilight a motherly kiss on the cheek. "None but Twilight's closest friends knew of her feelings. I do not blame you, are anyone else for that matter, for what has happened. Except that you, Kenny, keep your pet from frightening ponies like you have. If this happen's again, I'll have you keep her confined, understand?" Kenny gave a nod and left Luna following suit.
"If that is all, I would like to return to Flash if it's okay with you?" Princess Edith asked, breathing a sigh of relief when Celestia nodded. Edith moved to his room, finding the orange pegasus with his lower half covered by a cast. The stallion was crying.
"Are you in pain?" Edith asked, worried that this was the cause of his tears. He shook his head in a yes.
"But that's not why I'm crying." Flash said with a weak smile. "These are tears of joy..."
"Because you kept your job?" Edith asked.
"Because I must be the hottest stallion on the planet to win the favor of two princesses." Flash said with a hoof-pump. Edith punched the epicenter of his cast for his insensitive comment, causing him enough pain to start a new track of tears.
"Worth it..."
Luna cuddled with Kenny in his room. The sheets had been change in accordance with Flash's agreement, so as not to create an awkward situation. They were content with just laying there. Each mulled over the day's events. Kenny was the first to speak his mind.
"Is all my time here going to be filled with these antics?"
"Probably..."
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Kenny waved goodbye as he left Luna to her sleep. They had finished up a board game with cuddling, right up until Luna's hoof sank a little low. At that point Kenny politely excused himself, making up an excuse that he had a meeting with Flash later in the day. Luna, having stayed up well beyond her usual bedtime, fell soundly asleep. She muttered about 'teasing' and 'domination'. Whatever that was supposed to mean. Kenny decided to go out riding again with Holly, she could use the exercise. Then Kenny remembered that he hadn't done anything with the Arcana in a while. He hopped by his room to extract the tome from his drawers. He found Flash waiting as he always was. Kenny always got up early to greet Luna before she headed off to bed, earlier than even most guards got up. All things considered, it was just easier that Flash waited for Kenny at beginning of each day.
"What's up?" Flash asked as Kenny walked into his room, following him in. "Are you and Luna still good?"
"As good as we can ever be." Kenny replied. "She is kinda rushing the sex thing though..." He began rooting around in his drawer's for the Arcana.
"I don't know why you're so opposed to it. You are of legal age and more than capable." Flash said, messing around with Kenny's Joyboy. "What's stopping you?" Kenny sighed.
"I don't know... I just feel like I'm not ready for it, you know?"
"I honestly don't. I lost my virginity in a drunken night of debauchery, if you recall. Never even had the chance to say no."
"Still... How are things holding up with Edith?" Kenny asked, book in hand and heading for the door. Flash followed suit, throwing the Joyboy to the bed.
"Fine, though I wish we could see each other more often. Her father is still upset about us hitting it off from right under his nose. We've been restricted to letters for a while now, and all she talks about is how much she wants to see me again." Kenny laid a brotherly hand on Flash's shoulder, offering a smile of support. Flash returned the smile and they continued walking.
"Where are we going?" Flash asked.
"No idea, wasn't paying attention."
"Oh!" Flash reached under his wing and pulled out two tickets. "Edith Sent us tickets to a concert in Manehattan!"
"What's the band?" Kenny momentarily forgot about the Arcana, interested instead in this band Edith thought they would like. She had once sent Kenny a roasted ham when he mentioned that he was getting sick of eating fish all the time.
"The End, " Flash said as he scanned the tickets. "It's supposed to be tonight at eight. If we leave now by train we'll be able to see the sights as well as watch the show. What do you say?"
Kenny grinned. "I say we leave immediately!"
"I still can't believe you have a Statue of Liberty," Kenny said as he and Flash munched on carrot dogs. "I mean, you never had a Revolutionary War, so why do you have a Statue of Liberty?"
"It was a gift from the Gryphons after we fought off their tyrannical oppressor, Julius Goretalon. It is the symbol of the freedom that Gryphons have today thanks to Equestrian intervention." Flash explained as he munched away. "I always thought of it as a symbol of what Equestria stands for, Peace, Equality and Freedom."
Kenny wiped a mock tear from his eye, "That was beautiful Flash, a real tear-jerker."
"Shut-up you ass." The End had proven to be quite the band. Made up of a unicorn vocalist, pegasus drummer, gryphon guitarist and a zebra bass, they were quite the varied group. The music was a interesting variant of human alternative music, reminiscent of Linkin Park, yet still a brand of its own. The show had lasted long, and now Kenny and Flash roamed the still bustling streets of the city that never sleeps in search of the train station.
"What was this 'Revolutionary War' like?" Flash asked out of the blue.
"Huh? Oh.. What do you mean?" Kenny inquired.
"I mean, why was it fought? Who fought? Where? Basic stuff. It's gonna be another twenty minutes before we can get a cab so I would like to pass the time. I love old war stories." Flash looked expectantly up at Kenny.
"Well, the Revolutionary War was fought when a colony called America decided they were done with their mother-country, Britain, and rebelled. The colonists from thirteen colonies unified under the banner of liberty and justice for all and drove Britain out. Afterwards they would become a country of their own, the United States of America. It was the first country in thousand's of years to practice democracy as a form of government. Most thought it would fail." Kenny paused to finish off his carrot dog. "Yet it is now a major world power, as well as my home."
"What's democracy?" Flash asked.
"Democracy means 'rule-by-the-people'. It's a form of government where the citizens have a say in national matters. Decisions are decided by a vote, majority rules. It's an ancient method of rule made by the Greeks, one of the oldest known civilizations on my world, as a way to combat political corruption. This way, no one person has any say, he has to get others to support him."
"Weird, was political corruption common on your world?"
"Somewhat, usually you get a decent person in the seat of power. Every now and then though a snake slithers into it and a hell breaks loose. When only one person has all the power, it can be difficult to stop him from misusing it. The results are sometimes catastrophic on the whole part."
"Goes to show how great it is to have two, long-lived, kind Princesses in charge. It also helps that they do listen to the public," Flash commented before he bought two ciders from a street vendor, handing one to Kenny. "Does your world have anyone like the Princesses?"
"You mean a demigod? Nope." Flash punched him. "If you mean good rulers we had plenty. More than I care to mention."
"That's good, I was afraid your world was filled with dictators or something."
"Nah, the dick-tators just leave a more lasting impression."
Flash nodded in understanding. They continued walking along the street, the lights from various neon billboards illuminating the night. The sidewalks were littered with ponies going about their business, more often than not stopping to admire the biped tourist and his golden-armored companion. Flash and Kenny rounded a corner and right in to one of these ponies, Kenny and the stallion ending up on their respective rears.
"Hey, who do you think you araaAAAAHH!" Yelled the young stallion in a grey trench coat and fedora that had run straight into the stomach of Kenny. "Mr. Lee! I'm so sorry about that!" The stallion and Flash helped Kenny to his feet.
The flustered stallion rushed to apologize again, "I'm so sorry Sir! I should really watch were I'm going..."
"It happens," Kenny said as he dusted himself off. "Don't worr-"
"Can you do something for me?" The stallion quickly asked.
"Sure?" Kenny responded.
"I would really appreciate it if you could sign this for me." The stallion said, pulling out a comic book. Kenny grabbed from the stallion's mouth and examined the brightly colored cover, it was a stylized image of a human man wearing a short robe and some basic armor. A hood was pulled over his face and a sword was slung over his hip. He looked over a battlefield where more men clashed in some sort of epic struggle. The title was Earthbound . It was probably the coolest thing he had ever seen.
"My son loves these comics. His birthday's around the corner and I thought that maybe getting him the newest issue signed by a real human would be great. It would mean a lot..." Kenny suddenly whipped the comic straight.
"What's your son's name?" Kenny asks.
The stallion's face broke into a wide grin. "Fastball."
To Fastball, Don't forget to enjoy the greatest story of all, yours.
Sincerely, Kenneth Washington Lee.
Kenny wrote in magical letters. He wove an enchantment of his own design into it, a spell to make the comic's images move and live to the flow of the story. He gave the comic back to the stallion.
"Thank you Mr. Lee! You have no idea what this means to my son!"
"Au Contraire," Kenny said as he walked away, Flash Sentry in tow. "You have no idea what it will mean to him. Tata!"
Kenny was either unwilling to put-out or about as sexually aware as Twilight. She had tried everything to get him out of his shell, from pheromones to sub-conscious suggestion. Even wearing that racy saddle had no effect. She had watched her guards and five nobles faint at the sight. Kenny had given her one look and said, "That look's good on you." The compliment was nice but not nearly what she was going for. Once again, Kenny is immune to her feminine wiles. She was starting to think that his kind were sex gods in comparison to her's, numbing Kenny to her advances.
She had woken up to find that Kenny was far from home, having left with Flash earlier in the day to attend some event. Now she waited patiently in his room for him to arrive, she had been there for little over half an hour playing the frustrating game on his Joyboy.
"You will bow to me cretin..." She whispered as she delivered another series of powerful blows to the beast in the game. When it lied dead she looted its corpse for seven gold and a helmet. She thrust her hoof up in victory. These video games were great, giving her all the sense of fulfillment for half the effort. She again lost herself in a battle with another burly titan and never noticed Kenny walk into his room tired and weary. It had been a long, fun day of exploration and new things and now he wanted to rest. He threw himself into the bed, the resulting flop disturbing Luna at a crucial moment of battle.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Luna yelled as the game played out the well-known tune of defeat. Kenny was shaken out of his tired stupor and forced to acknowledge the mare laying next to him. "You have killed me, Kenny Lee! Now you owe me and I intend to be repaid well!"
".....Eh?"
"So, how do you intend to repay me, hmmm?" Luna said, suddenly switching to a sultry tone. She climbed over him pinning him down with her body. "I wonder... How many kisses is a life worth?" Kenny rolled his eyes and attempted to get up, only to find he was quite well fastened to the bed. Luna was either heavier than she looked, or stronger. Now his face turned to an expression of fear.
"Well?" Luna said. Kenny opened his mouth to answer.
He got a tongue in his throat before he uttered even a syllable.
The kiss was heated, a little forced, and left Luna immensely satisfied. After she pulled away she found her significant other was wide-eyed in wonder.
"What in heck's name was That! " Kenny asked.
"That," Luna said smugly. "Was the first of many kisses I expect to get for you getting me killed. So hunker down, hot-stuff. We're going to be her a while."
One hundred and twenty-three kisses later, Kenny was free. Luna had some business to attend to, so Kenny needed to waste some time. He was thinking on just how to waste it when he remembered the neglected book in his pocket. He pulled it out and decided that if he was going to practice magic, now would be the best time. Now he headed off to read it...
It has been two months, three weeks, four days, fifteen hours, thirty-seven minutes since you've arrived here. Kenny had situated himself in Holly's Cave, as it had been taken to being called. The floor was littered with the various toys she has destroyed in her time here. A saddle made of elegantly carved wood and a padded seat. It was truly a marvel, little trees and vine motifs garnished it's polished oak surface. The satin seat was like a cloud. Perfect Fit had some great connections in the craftspony world.
Flash sat on said saddle reading more Attack on Sleipnir .
'What is that supposed to mean?' Kenny liked talking to the book with his head. It made him feel psychic.
You're time here has lasted long enough. You were only kept here so long because the hardships you faced were fewer than I judged necessary. You have suffered enough, and I will now give you the means to return home. Kenny stared at the words written, on the page. He had been here so long and had so much happen he had forgotten about going home. That he was stuck in Equestria for an indefinite amount of time. Now that time was up. He could go back home to his friends and family. Back to his reality.
Did he really want to?
Flash was the best friend he has ever had. They were practically brothers. Who else had a giant, wooden, wolf for a ride? Screw Porsche, Holly was better than any other ride he could think of. Then there was Luna.
Could he bring himself to leave Luna? She would be devastated. Not to mention the repercussions of breaking the heart of a demigod and more than likely pissing off her sister. What should he do? He turned to page, expecting to find the circle. Instead there was more words. You don't have to go. It is an option, nothing more. Despite all the bad things that have happened, an unprecedented amount of good things have as well. Your extended time here has left you with several anchors here. Know that you can return home anywhere and anytime you want. It is also not one way or the other. Once you leave, you are every bit as capable of coming back. If I can make a suggestion, go home and say something to your parents. They need to know if you plan to stay here. These words helped Kenny settle his thoughts. He silently thanked the Arcana.
"Flash, I need you to take Holly for a walk. You know the route." Kenny left the room before Flash could respond. If he was going to do this, he wasn't going to say anything to anyone. It's better that know one worries about him coming back. Kenny navigated his way through the castle till he reached his destination, the castle's long-forgotten dungeons. He headed into one of the cells and opened the Arcana. The page fell open to a perfect image of the portal's circle. ready for transcription on the stone wall.
Flash was riding Holly through the Canterlot hedge maze. The twists and turns entertained the timber-wolf to no end, especially when it was as dark as it was. Flash just let her run around the labyrinth as he continued reading his comic book. It was getting good too. The have just found out who the female sleipnir was. He put the comic down as the mind-blow did its min-blowing job. He just sat there, absorbing it all.
Then Holly stopped, vaulting the pegasus off her and into the grass with an 'oof!'
Flash grumbled as he got up from the ground, looking for his lost comic. He found it quickly, but made no move to retrieve it, seeing as it was at the feet of the Princess of the Night. Now he knew why Holly had stopped.
"P-Princess Luna!" Flash said, saluting. "What do you need your highness?"
Luna was worried, she and her sister had felt a flux in the magic fields around the castle. Something had happened, and whatever it was had altered the space-time continuum, if but for a moment. Celestia and Luna had come to the same conclusion, Kenny was involved. The only other being that had access to space-time altering spells was Discord, and he was last reported as being in Las Pegasus. Luna hoped Flash knew what had happened.
"Do you know where Kenny is?" Luna asked him.
"No, ma'm," Flash responded. "He had asked me to walk Holly and left."
"This is not good..." Luna muttered.
"Permission to speak freely Ma'm?"
"Granted." Luna hoped he had something useful to say, or she would not be responsible for what would happen next.
"He had the Arcana," Flash stoically said. "He had been reading it when he left. I would venture to guess he is testing a spell right now."
There, now it was confirmed. Kenny must have cast a dimension altering spell. That was what she and her sister felt. If only she could pinpoint where he casted it.
"Thank you Flash, as you were." Luna flew off, leaving Flash to hope that whatever it was his buddy had gotten into, he was safe.
It was all so weird. It seemed like forever since he was just in his room. He was hit by an unexpected wave of nostalgia as he walked around the very place he had spent his childhood in. He slid his hand over his mahogany writing desk, a little amazed that there was no dust, even though he had been gone gone for literally zero seconds thanks to setting the portal right. He was home.
Kenny picked up his laptop and examined the expensive, top of the line device. He hadn't realized how much he missed technology until now. He opened the laptop and surfed the web for the first time in what seems like forever. A little disappointed that there was nothing new, he reminded himself that he had been gone for no time at all by this world's standards. He left his laptop on his desk and decided to find his parents. He didn't really know how to break the news that he was leaving to live a life in another reality with a princess without sounding bat-shit insane, but he was sure he could if he tried.
Kenny walked to the door and gripped the handle, breathing deeply in preparation. He opened his door and nearly shat his pants when his Mother was standing right there. The feeling was mutual.
"Kenny! Don't scare me like that!" Kenny's Mother held a hand to her chest. Kenny would have said something if he hadn't been overcome by the pure feels that only a mother can somehow procure. Kenny rushed to his Mom and hugged her, glad to see her again. She was a little surprised. "And here I thought you said you were too old to hug your Mommy," She joked.
"Whatever, Mom..." Kenny said as he let her go. "Where's Dad?"
"That's actually why I'm here. Some men have arrived telling us you have a scholarship!" Kenny's Mom happily clapped her hands together. "They're from a prestigious and exclusive school and would like to invite you to their campus!" Kenny would have been more interested if he didn't have a girlfriend to get back too.
"That's cool and all, Mom, but I have some news of my own to tell-"
"It can wait." His Mom seized him in her iron grip and forcefully steered him downstairs and to the living room where an older, white-bearded man was having a nice conversation with Kenny's father. Two more much younger man in black suits
"Well Mr. Lee, I can assure you that all costs will be covered and your son will be given the best education we can provide. Your son is exactly what we have been looking for at our school. His has talents that go far beyond the usual, the kind of talents that only we can teach him to harness. Ah! Here comes the man now!" The older man rose from his seat and bowed as Kenny approached. "Master Lee, it is nice to see the young man me and my colleagues have heard so much about." He outstretched one of his thin, knobbly hands to Kenny as he introduced himself, "I am Alfred Myrddin, from the Academy for Gifted Individuals. We would like it if you would consider attending our school." The man's voice was as smooth as silk and had the quality of being quiet without you having to strain to hear him.
"I d-don't know what to say..." Alfred's eye's twinkled at Kenny's words.
Well, well, well, you have been far, Master Lee. Kenny's eyes widened in shock when he heard the man's voice in his head. Sorry, I would have thought you would expect this.
Who are you?
If you will allow it, your new mentor and friend, fellow wizard and friend of Equestria.
"Luna, I doubt he would leave without saying anything." Celestia held her shaking sister's body. Luna and Celestia had found the dungeon cell he had used to travel home. The spell he cast was undoubtedly a portal. The Arcana must have finally let him go home.
"HE DOESN'T LOOVE MEEEEE!!!!" Luna wailed. "Why else would he leave without saying anything?"
"Because he intends to return? Because he did not want to worry you?" Celestia calmly said. "He cares more than you know. He will be back Luna, I promise."
Luna sighed miserably and instead snuggled even closer to her sister's embrace.
"Princesses!" Flash came running into the cell. "You have got to see this!"
Author's Note
What has Kenny gotten into? Who is Alfred Myrddin? What is going on? Why am I asking these questions? Will you speculate like no tomorrow in the comments? Only time will tell...
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Great, Now There is Two of Them
"I hate you so much..." The blond and blue-eyed French girl was furious with Kenny. She was locked up in a cage, her guide and partner disguised as a Royal Guard of this pony world. She had thought coming here would be a childhood dream come true. Now she knew she was wrong.
"Shut up, prissy pants or you'll blow our cover," Kenny whispered back to Morgan. "Remember, you came of your own volition. I told you that it would be dangerous."
"Excuse me if I thought a world inhabited by little ponies would be more friendly." Morgan would have used magic to escape if Kenny hadn't set up a complicated chain of wards that prevented her from casting spells. "How did you even convince Alfred to let you leave anyhow?"
The white Unicorn guard grinned as he stood watch over the cage in the throne room, waiting for Private Flash Sentry to return with the nation's rulers. "One of the perk's of being Merlin's favorite students I guess..." Kenny said in an overly playful tone. He got exactly the reaction he was expecting.
"YOU ARE NOT ALFRED'S FAVORITE!!!" Morgan exploded, this was a touchy subject for her. "I have been studying under him since I was five! You have been around for less than four years! I am clearly his favorite!" She shook the bars in anger as she ranted on. Kenny held a hoof up to his mouth as he chuckled. Morgan was so easy to tease. Besides, Alfred Merlin Sylvestris did not have favorites. He was above such petty things. Still, Kenny's constant showing up of Morgan had left many seeds in her already overheated brain. Kenny so loved to nurture these seeds for the valuable fruits they bore. Morgan was so gullible.
"Right this way your highness." Flash and the Princesses came in to the throne room, both of the current residents quickly shutting up. "He said he found it in the garden's just like with Kenny!" They approached the stoic guard and the gigantic steel cage that held what was, without a doubt, another human. What amazed Celestia was that despite the similarities, this human was entirely different from Kenny. Kenny had chocolate eyes and dark brown hair as well as an olive complexion. This one was considerably lighter in pallet. Blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin as well as a . Who knew what other variations of humans existed?
But first, "Why is she locked up?" Celestia asked with a stern gaze. The next two things would throw her for a loop, however. First was how the guard remained unfazed by her smoldering gaze, a gaze that only Fluttershy could beat, and the guard's response.
"She bit me."
"I DID NOT YOU MORONIC BUFFOON!!!!!" Morgan yelled in anger, reaching through the bars as an attempt to reach Kenny. "WHEN I GET OUT I'M GOING TO TEAR YOU A NEW BEHIND, ASSHOLE!!!!!" She received one of Kenny's patented knock out spells for her trouble.
"As you can see," Kenny continued, "She is obviously nothing like our Mr. Lee. Where is he anyway? I would think he would be able to provide some insight as to who she might be."
Kenny observed the hurt look that suddenly overcame Luna's visage. His heart panged a little when he saw that. Celestia was the one to answer. "He left on business a couple hours ago, we do not know when he will return."
Hours!? He had only been gone that long? Kenny had forgotten the date and time he had left Equestria, and was sure that when he returned he would be off by at least a year. He had whole plans to efficiently reintroduce himself to Equestria and win back Luna's love through various acts and gifts. Guess he didn't need them.
"Welp, my jigs up then." Celestia and Luna both gave him questioning looks, while Flash Sentry looked on from by the door. "I should give myself more credit next time." The guard began nonchalantly powering up a spell, and for the first time Luna and Celestia noticed his magic's black color. "Well, Sunbutt and Moonbutt, I present-"
An explosion of black magic burst from the guard, engulfing the room in its aura. The two Royal Sisters shielded their eyes from the blast with their fore-hooves. When the magic cleared and they lowered their legs, a man in short, weathered robes stood before them. His face was slightly obscured by the trimmed beard that covered his jaw and lips.
"Kenneth Washington Lee! Professional Shaman and Magician!"
Luna began to tremble. "Geezus, Luna. I was only gone for a couple hours!" Kenny said in response to her shaking, thinking her on the brink of joyful tears upon his return. "Come on, this boy-toy needs a hug."
Luna slowly walked towards him, head held low. Kenny knelt down to receive a hug he had longed for close to four years. Luna stopped right before him, just of of reach of his outstretched arms.
"Kenny." Luna said without looking up.
"Yes Luna?" Kenny said, arms lowering.
Luna's head rose, her gaze cutting through him like laser. She quickly turned and bucked hitting him square in the jaw, just hard enough to really hurt, but not knock him out. "That's for leaving."
"What the Fuck!" Kenny cried out, grasping his aching jaw. "The hell, Luna!" Before he could go any further Luna was once again upon him.
"And this is for coming back." Passionate kiss-of-the-day number one-hundred and twenty-four was delivered. And hot. Mostly hot.
"Goddess above, won't you two get a room?" Flash said breaking the two's make-out session.
"You have a lot explaining to do mister." Luna poked him with a hoof to emphasize her point. "Like why do you have so much facial hair? You never let a beard grow before."
"When you spend two years with Tibetan monks leaning to commune with the forces of nature, you forget to do things like shave." Kenny fondled the scruff affectionately. "Besides, I like the way it looks."
"Tibetan monks? Two years?!" Luna said, voice climbing higher.
"It's a long story..."
"And who is this other human you keep captive?" Luna asked.
"Oh, that's Morgan Le Feu. My partner-"
"Partner?" Luna growled.
"Only in work Luna," Kenny explained.
"Good," Luna said, letting Kenny up. "Come I want to hear this long story of yours."
And a riveting story it was. After they had all settled in a nice lounge in the castle, the still sleeping Morgan given a whole gigantic pillow seat of her own to curl up on. Once everyone was situated and drinks and popcorn were distributed, Kenny pulled out a laptop he had brought with him. It was a little magic-fueled thing that held all the pictures he had taken during his trip. A slideshow was set up and the pictures were projected on the wall by a quick spell.
"So, after I got home I met this man," Kenny said, a picture of a white bearded man with twinkling eyes and a kind face appeared. "His name is Alfred Merlin Slyvestris, or Starswirl to you guys."
"What!?" Luna and Celestia both yelled in sync.
"I know right? So I lived most of my life thinking that magic didn't even exist, much less that such a famous wizard was real or alive. He tells me that having already shown I can use magic he wants to teach me to be a better magician. I leave home under his tutelage under the guise that I was attending an exclusive college with all expenses paid. One farewell later I begin my training. I spend two years traveling with him and a couple other apprentices and their mentor's." This picture depicted several men and women smiling at the camera. The group was unique in many ways, from clothing to the strange, glowing, green tattoos that adorned the skin of one man. "Morgan over there is Alfred's other apprentice." Morgan grumbled a little at the mention of her name. "Either way I complete my rudimentary lessons for magic and I'm left with a decision, what type of magic do I specialize in?"
Kenny then reaches into his collar and pulls out a cord bearing a piece of onyx carved into the shape of a snarling wolf head. To either side of the stone were two more stones per side, totaling five gems in all on the braided string. The other gems were turquoise, amber, petrified wood, and smoky quartz.
"This is a shamanistic talisman. These four stones," Kenny said, indicating the stones on either side of the wolf emblem. "Are my channels of the four arcane elements, fire, water, air and earth. The center stone is my personal stone and acts as a mental focus." He placed the talisman in its rightful place. "I received this as my final initiation as a shaman during my time with the the Kailash Monastery. They taught me to converse with the Great Spirits and to harness their power." Kenny showed them a series of images, all of them of the charming, orange-cloak wearing, Buddhist monks that had taught him the powers he wields now.
"Once a magician has completed his training he must gain wisdom to become a master. Most find it by becoming nomads, traveling the earth and interacting with its inhabitants. Merlin found it by traveling beyond his world." Kenny turned off the laptop with a wave of his hand. "I intend to do the same." He gave his friends the warmest smile he's worn in years. "So with your permission, I would like to reside here, in Equestria, until such time as I have become a true master of magic."
Celestia returned his smile in full.
"I shall allow it. What say you sister?"
Luna leaped to Kenneth's side, nuzzling him affectionately. A gesture, she was surprised to see, that Kenny reciprocated by a bear hug that cracked her bone's. Her voice was a little strained when she spoke.
"Seconded."
Luna and Kenny shared yet another passionate kiss. Why Kenny was being so much more affectionate, Luna did not know. But neither did she care.
"That's great and all, but what about her?" Flash said, poking the sleeping lady.
"Same reason as me." Kenny's voice rang with the distinct sound of 'I-couldn't-care-less'. "She shouldn't be any trouble."
"Then she can stay as well." Celestia roused Morgan with a spell. The woman slowly opened her eyes and blearily observed her surroundings. Her weary eyes widened when they landed on Flash Sentry.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" Morgan's shriek of joy as she saw Flash cracked a window pane. "He's soooo cute! " Morgan grabbed Flash before he could get away, locking him in a titanic grip. "He's so soft and warm! It's like a dream!"
"Oh yeah, she has a thing for ponies."
"What's your favorite food?" Flash was leading Morgan to her room. She had been asking him countless questions about ponykind in general the entire time. Flash had long since decided that he didn't like the woman.
"Hay fries."
"Do all ponies like hay fries?"
"I guess so..."
"Do you have anything other than ponies here?"
"Plenty, like my girlfriend, the gryphon." Morgan let out an excited gasp.
"Inter-species relationships are socially acceptable here!" Morgan pulled a notebook out of her handbag and started scribbling. "This is an interesting development indeed. Do ponies still follow herd mentality here?"
"Ummm... Yes?" Kenny offered, a little confused by the question.
"So it is not unheard of for ponies to take on multiple partners?"
"No, it's not, why?" Flash was immensely afraid of where she was going with this. That's when he spotted her room.
"Have you ever had more tha-"
"Well this is where you will be staying Miss!" Flash hurriedly cut her off. "If you need anything else feel free to ask that maid!" Gesturing to the surprised maid with a hoof before flying off. When the maid realized who it was and what had just happened she grumbled, "This is why I gave up on stallions..."
"Bwahahaaha ahahhah ha!" Kenny's hearty laugh rang throughout Holly's room. Flash had recounted his tale to Kenny, who was going on a slow ride with Holly around the maze for the second time that night, though it was the first in ages for him. Flash floated lazily along.
"She even asked me why my armor didn't cover my privates!" Flash vented. "What kind of pony asks that? "
"Keep in mind she isn't a pony." Kenny held a hand to Holly's neck, the timber-wolf instantaneously stopping. Kenny slid off her back while Flash gave him a bewildered look. "What?" Kenny asked.
"How did you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Stop Holly. Usually it takes a massive pull on her reigns to get her to slow down."
"She wasn't going very fast..."
"Explain Human!" Flash shoved his muzzle into Kenny's face. "I must know!"
"Why?"
"Because! You vanish for a couple hours and come back with new threads, a bag full of high-tech crap, and a beard! You could at the very least explain how a touch stops a timber-wolf."
Kenny sighed before answering, feeling that tonight's events have fried his friends brains. Had he always been like this, and Kenny never noticed? "I learned how to talk to spirits with the monks. Animals are much easier by comparison."
"You can talk to timber-wolves? What else can you do?" Flash said, sitting on his haunches. He was ready for a show.
Kenny rolled his eyes. "Nothing yet. The spirits of Equestria are no more benevolent than the ones back on Earth, if a little less rowdy. How you pegasi manage without getting the Air spirit all up in your junk is anyone's guess."
"What?"
"Shaman's are the bridge between this world, and the world of spirits. We can channel the element's energies as our own and use it manipulate the world around us. Fire, Water, Earth, Air, all are our tools to use. However, our power is given to us by the spirits we commune with. We cannot force a spirit to do anything, much less lend us power. My field requires humility and a deep understanding of spirits themselves. The spirits that inhabit Equestria do not know nor care for me, and so I cannot ask them to lend me power."
"You have to ask to use magic, lame." Flash drew out 'lame' to punctuate his point. Then Flash found himself ten feet in the air, with no time to recover. He hit the ground hard and he groaned in mild pain.
"I can't use shamanistic magic. Arcane spells are easily within my reach." Kenny laughed at the dirty look Flash gave him. "It's getting late, you should head to bed."
"Ahhhhh, I don't wanna!" Flash mock whined.
"I'll be fine you dolt. Take Holly to her room while your at it, I want to talk with Luna before heading to bed myself."
Flash got the hint and grabbed Holly's reigns. "Good luck bro."
"Thanks, night bud."
Flash guided Holly out of the maze when Kenny called back out to Flash, "Hold on!"
"What?" Flash called back. Kenny reached into a pouch on his side and pulled out a paper wrapped irregular item, tossing it to the pegasus. "What is it?" Flash called back. Kenny just gestured him to open it and vanished in a swirl of black magic. Flash carefully removed the wrappings to find an elaborate carving of a gryphon in his hooves. It seemed to hum with an unearthly force, calling out to him. As flash examined the carving he noticed the wrappings had some words written into them.
This totem can never be shown to anyone but you and Edith. It's powers could be misconstrued as dangerous and malevolent. It's power will last for one whole day before wearing off, and requires a week to recharge. It isn't much, but it should help you meet Edith on a more regular basis. I know you will use it well.
Beneath this small letter was another inscription.
Spirits of the Totem, grant me your power.
Luna was awaiting assignments from her personal adviser. Tonight was slow, no nightmares to abolish, no monsters from the Everfree to vanquish, not even a rebellious riot of teenage colts who tapped into their father's alcohol cabinets. That is why she was rooting through her boyfriends bag. The first thing she noticed was that it was much larger on the inside then on the outside. Physic breaking spell aside, there was plenty to find. Bottles of herbs, both dried and fresh. Flasks of liquids with near unreadable labels. Handbooks and journals filled with all kinds of rituals and spells. Several pouches of uncut gemstones of every variety. A DS gaming system (Luna put that aside to inspect later). Several small totems made of wood and garnished with paints and more rough gemstones. The list went on and on as Luna delved deeper into the bag. She eventually came across a small box labeled 'For: Luna'. It was no bigger than her hoof and weighed almost nothing, stopping the notion that it was any form of jewelry. She was going to open it when she heard the handle of her door being jiggled. She quickly threw the box into a drawer and teleported the bag back to Kenny's room where she found it.
Kenny's head popped out from behind the door and gave the mare a warm smile. His facial hair had been trimmed, seeing as it no longer covered the lower half of his face. His cheeks had been cleared of the brown fuzz so his beard skirted his jawline until it came to his chin, where it climbed back up and around his mouth. He looked less like a lumberjack and more like a playboy. Luna liked it immensely.
"Hey, are you busy?" Kenny asked, moving no further inside.
"Of course not, come in." She made to move down from the bed, but was stopped when Kenny said, "Oh, no need to do that. You just stay right where you are."
"Why not?" Luna asked. That's when Kenny walked in, revealing that he was wearing only a pair of shorts. His entire upper body was exposed, a tribal tattoo of a wolf on his shoulder making its debut in Equestria. Luna's eyes traced over his form, taking note that he was far more muscular than before. There was a bulk to him that hadn't been there before.
"You like?" Kenny teasingly asked doing a slow twirl for show, letting Luna see him from all angles. Luna noticed something odd though. He had a small scar, as if from a burn, that looked like a motif of a skull.
"What's that?" Luna asked, trotting over. She ran a hoof over the spot.
"Oh, that? It was a part of my initiation." Kenny waved it off like it was no big deal. "It is permanent mark of my achievements as well as my final test."
"Did it hurt?" Luna asked. She didn't like the sound of this.
"Oh-hohoho yes!" Kenny chuckled. "It was intense! Those monks are the culmination of work hard, play hard." Luna frowned. Before she could give her own two bits, she was swept off her feet by Kenny's arm. She wasn't sure she likes being man-handled like this.
"So,have you ever wondered what I could do to you with my fingers" Luna's face turned redder than a beet.
"That's what I thought."
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"Good Morning Celestia." Kenny happily munched away at his Eggs Benedict, the pony variant had tomato instead of ham, while Celestia walked into the room. Celestia gave him a quite nod and a warm smile, sitting at the table. She didn't have a spot at the table, choosing a new one every morning. Today she was three seats to Kenny's right on the opposite side of the table. After Celestia was seated she noticed an inconsistency. Luna was nowhere to be found. Luna always came to breakfast, eager to share the events of the night.
"Kenny, where is Luna?" Kenny's eyes widened considerably when this question was asked. He swallowed his bite slowly and deliberately. His shuffled a little in his seat, the question made him nervous. It was obvious to Celestia, Luna had or was doing something that Kenny was unwilling to share. Years of politics have honed her ability to read emotions from the smallest signs.
"She is in her room, resting." No nervous ticks, yet the information was too easily given. Truth, but not all of it, Celestia observed. "She had a rough night and I told her to head to bed early." Again, no lies, but why hide that she had a rough night? Now Celestia knows that Luna had done something and Kenny was definitely involved. Kenny would require more nudging to coax out the full story.
"Really?" Celestia sweetly asked. "What was she doing?" Kenny sighed in defeat. Celestia wanted to believe it, but it could be a trick to throw her off.
"Luna lacked anything better to do last night." Kenny rubbed his tired eyes. "So we banged till we were too sore to go on." Celestia almost did a spit-take. "Portal-lag meant I could easily stay up all night, but now I'm dead tired from exhaustion and the only reason I'm up is because I'm hungrier than a hippo." Kenny kept eating his Eggs Benedict like he hadn't just admitted to rutting Celestia's sister in the most blunt and insensitive manner. It was kinda refreshing. Kenny finished up the little amount of eggs left and said one last word, "Sorry if my words were a little to risque for you, but you insisted. I don't have the energy nor the wit to come with a clever lie right now, and would like to rest."
Celestia, surprisingly, nodded in understanding. "I appreciate your honesty. I wish you a good rest, Kenny." Kenny's face morphed from its previous cranky setting to an appreciative smile. He bowed politely and left the room.
"About time," Celestia spoke to herself as she conjured up today's paper. "They both desperately needed to get laid." Celestia looked sagely at the door. "In their own ways."
Celestia called in a butler to take her order and waited patiently as ever for her food to arrive, reading the gossip column that she enjoyed so much. Doing so reminded her of that time the young pegasus, oh what his name? Featherweight? Yes, Featherweight, had stealthily infiltrated the castle and taken her picture during one of her more 'vulnerable' moments. The young colt deserved a medal for that one.
"Right this way, Madame." Celestia looked up from the paper to see a maid guide her other guest, Morgan, into the room and even going as far as seating her. Morgan thanked the maid profusely and made several remarks about the unicorn's cuteness, sending the mare off in giddy giggles. Morgan looked around the room and found Celestia looking at her. Morgan gave her a girlish smile and happily waved at her. Celestia politely returned the gesture.
"What would you like for breakfast, Miss?" Morgan screamed when the incredibly stealthy waiter asked her order, leaping from her chair and landing heavily on the floor. Celestia quietly giggled and the waiter didn't even flinch. Celestia always wondered if he did that on purpose. Morgan shyly picked herself up from the floor.
"I'll have a croissant and hot chocolate, please." The waiter nodded and asked, "Anything else?" Morgan shook her head no and the waiter retreated to the kitchens. Morgan looked around the table, as if there was something wrong she has just noticed.
"Excuse me, your Highness?" Morgan politely asked. Celestia looked up from her paper. "Would you perhaps be able to tell me where Kenneth is? He's never one to miss breakfast, and lacking any memory of how his talks with you went, I fear he may have found trouble, again." She growled out the last word. Though, concerning as that was, her mention of 'talks' was more so.
"Talks? Dear, you make it sound as though we had negotiations of some sort." Morgan's expression became on of confusion.
"But he locked me up and fabricated his disguise to reach you directly and avoid conflict with your subjects. Are you saying that you were not discussing our situation so as to avoid the danger of retaliation?"
"Oh Goddess, no. My subjects are well acquainted with Kenny. We did discuss your reason's for coming here, but you were in no danger of retaliation at any point." Celestia gave her an empathetic smile. "I do not know why he found it necessary to put you in a cage like he did."
Morgan's face turned to a shell that seemed calm and cheerful, but, as Celestia knew far too well, hid a burning fury underneath. "Well," Morgan began. "I should have seen this coming. I know full well how mischievous he has become. I have only myself to blame, he hasn't been the same since that day..."
"What day?" This was news to Celestia. While she had noticed a change in his overall demeanor, she had put it off as a gradual change from his experiences around Starswirl, or Alfred as he is called on Earth. Morgan implied that this change had been brought on by some event.
"The day he 'Talked to the spirits'." Morgan put up visible air quotes. "The idiot goes off into the Black Forest on his own and ends up hallucinating from god knows what about spirits telling him to become a shaman. Ever since he's lost all of his refinement. The fine man I once knew and called friend was replaced by this hooligan. He abandons more practical fields of magic in favor of relying on ghosts for power! Those spirits ruined him!" Morgan sniffled a little before regaining her composure. "Sorry, it's just, just... I feel like I lost my friend that day. He used to be so polite, sensitive, and refined. He was in short a gentleman. Then he went into that god-forsaken forest, and he changed."
"It sounds like a harrowing experience," Celestia calmly responded. "Once, my sister was consumed by her jealousy and dark forces twisted her against me. I lost my sister that day, she had become a monster. When she was finally cured...There are no words to describe my joy. Let me say this; Kenny may have changed, but he is still Kenny deep down. I have known him long enough to see the truth in your words. The Kenny we know would never have presented himself in such a fashion. He was much to humble and quiet for such a thing. But, the change is minimal. Kenny may be a little more eccentric than normal, but I feel it is because his experiences under your mentor's tutelage has made him open up a little. He is, in essence, more outgoing now, more willing to let go and have fun. Something I happen to know your mentor has always been."
"So it is true, Alfred has visited this world as well." Morgan was mystified by this.
"Indeed, but we knew him as Starswirl the Bearded."
"He always did have a thing for facial hair..."
"Yet another thing young Kenny has picked up from his mentor." They both shared a laugh before their food arrived and breakfast was had.
"I'm taking my vacation days now." An unarmored Flash was at the Royal Guard HQ in Downtown Canterlot. The newly appointed Captain Bulwark, a unicorn, was unsure how to respond to the pegasus that had barged into his room while he was doing some paperwork.
Bulwark raised an eyebrow. "Flash, while I can respect your attitude, you know that it takes at least a day for-" Flash slammed a piece of paper on the table and left the room. Captain Bulwark levitated the paper in front of him. It proved to be a signed document from Celestia herself, stating in no unclear terms that Flash was to have the next week off-duty, and paid. It even had the Royal Seal next to the signature and everything. Good Job, my boy. Bulwark thought as he filed away the document. You're making friends in all the right places.
Flash confidently picked his way through the traffic on his way to the trains. He had a goal, and he was going to reach it. He had a letter sent this morning to Edith telling her of his plan. The reservations at a resort in the Crystal Empire had been made, and he had a gift safely tucked away in his bags. He had missed Edith dearly, and he was going to show her that. He bought his ticket and boarded the train. He never quite realized how well paid his position is till now. He was no Canterlot noble, but he was considerably more wealthy than most. Not having to pay for all his meals and living space contributed as well. None the less, he appreciated his salary much more now.
He had asked for a private booth for the next part. It would take several hours for the train to reach the Gryphon border city, Mistvale, where he and Edith would meet. It was the perfect opportunity to try out his new, mystic, gadget. Making sure no one would barge in unexpectedly, Flash pulled out the wooden statuette of a gryphon. He recalled the words on the paper.
"Spirits of the Totem, grant me your power." At his words the totem's eyes began to glow with a refreshing green light, like the sun filtered through the leaves of a tree. Then he heard the voice in his head. Very well... It was a deep voice that sounded strangely like a bear growling, but it did not frighten Flash. Rather it reassured him, like it was his father speaking to him. Once the voice had spoken, Flash's entire body began to glow that same green light, his skin tingling. He shut his eyes when the light grew a little to bright for his eyes. The tingling grew in intensity till it was like having ant's crawl over every inch of his being. It slowly went away, and when it was over, Flash warily opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed was that the totem was no longer in his hoof, instead it was held tight in talons. Flash's talons.
"Aah!" Flash dropped the totem and scanned his body. He had burnt orange feathers and his lion half was his usual shade. He found a mirror and inspected his new face. His eyes were the same blue, and the feather's on his crown had blue tips the same color as his mane. The totem had turned him into a Gryphon.
"Cool..." Flash was overjoyed to see that his voice was still the same. He looked great, a genuine Gryphon from head to toe. He spent about an hour adjusting to the new appendages he had gained, like his toes and talons. It took a while, but soon he was all set up. He decided against wearing his military uniform, a gryphon wearing a pony uniform would be really hard to explain. He had plenty of bits leftover, he would just buy some clothes at Mistvale.
"Lookout Greifland," Flash said with confidence. "There's a new stud in town."
Water splashed down into a pond from a small waterfall to Kenny's right. He was seated in the middle of a large rock garden, at the foot of a fig tree placed on a small grass island in the swirls of sand and pebbles that surrounding him, untouched and pristine. A gentle breeze wafted through the setting, chilling his body just a little and stirring the leaves of the fig tree. This was balanced by the roaring fires set in multiple braziers around the garden. Kenny knew this place well, for it was the same place he had meditated everyday at the Kailash Monastery. Of course this was only conjured from memory, the real rock garden was on a another plane of existence entirely. This was a dream, and he had chose this setting for a reason. Said reason was what Kenny waited for.
The sand was the first to move, the swirls shifting on a point to his right. They rose of their own accord and formed an androgynous pony, it's features hardening to stone. It's mane was made of hanging moss and it's coat was moss. When it opened it's eyes, brown pools of energy wafted forth, little trails rising from the corners. Once it had been formed it made no move, and Kenny waited patiently for the others to follow, it would be rude to address Earth first. The wind stirred up more of the sand and soon a new, less visible figure was available, The contained maelstrom formed into another pony, the sand giving it form. It's mane was made of cloud and it's eyes were a pure white. The features were difficult to see, constantly shifting and translucent as they were. Air stood to his far right. Air was always more fickle, if it had come then the rest would surely follow. The pond burbled and a mist formed over the surface. One hoof, then another rose from the shallow and clear waters. They were as blue and deep as the ocean, and a head with a sea foam mane rose even further from it's depths. It's hooves began to freeze into hard ice as it's whole body formed from the pond. It's mane and tail cascaded from it's body, crashing on the ground and forming mist that swirled around its icy hooves. Its eyes were a clear blue. Water moved to next to Earth, closer to Kenny's front. The fires that lived in the braziers became agitated and leaped from there positions. they collided midair and instantly formed a pony with free flowing fire for a mane and tail, its body made of red-hot charcoal. It landed in the remaining spot between Air and Water. Fire was the most vain, always one to put on a show. Its eyes were a bright, searing yellow-orange. Kenny finally opened his eyes and spoke.
"Thank you all for coming, it is a great honor, Earth, Air, Water and, last but certainly not least, Fire." Kenny bowed, his fist placed into his open palm as a show of his respect and obedience.
"When you have made it as easy as you have, it is hard not to, Shaman," Water spoke, its voice like the roar of white-water and cool as snow. "And as interesting as your invitation was, it pales in comparison of meeting one so unlike the other beings of this world. Tell me, what are you?"
"I am Kenneth Washington Lee, a human from another plane. I hail from the world know as Earth." Kenny never moved from his respectful bow.
"Earth? A whole world named after myself? How flattering." Earth's voice was the low rumble of an earthquake. Fire was quick to shoot the fellow element down with his crackling voice. "If you recall, you were named after this world's denizens first called the ground beneath their feet 'Earth'. You're lucky you didn't end up with 'dirt' as a name."
"Joykill."
"Oh shush you two." Air's voice was lighter than his namesake, wispy yet still understandable. "This man has been bowing for long enough. Rise Kenneth, and we will begin the ceremony."
Kenny did exactly as told, lowering his arms and lifting his head to the spirits of the elements. Humble, he reminded himself, The spirits appreciate humility more than any gift.
"Don't you have any questions for us?" Water offered. Kenny shook his head.
"It is not my right to question the spirits."
"Ah! This one knows his place!" Fire rejoiced. "A rare thing for one so young! Keep this up my boy and you will go far!"
Air nodded it's head as it spoke, "Agreed, we have shut away many a young zebra who believed he was higher than us four. Tis a sad thing to see such potential wasted on a immature mind. Too few understand that the elements are not too be mastered, but to be followed. I see you understand this Kenneth, your mentors have taught you well."
"Thank you." Kenny gave a small bow as well as his vocal thanks.
Earth trotted around him, looking him over and spoke, "I can feel your talisman calling out to me. Show the gems you have chosen." Kenny reached into his collar an pulled out the braided necklace with five gems. It was removed from his hands by an earthy brown glow. Earth levitated the talisman in front of his eyes.
"All fine specimens, I am saddened that they are not of my own make. Their beauty is enhanced by your kinds fine craftsmanship. Turquoise, a more common choice, but a good one, isn't that right Water?" Water nodded a happy yes. "Ah! Amber! A stone that holds a piece of the soul it came from! Very good, not many know that all souls come from Fire's warmth. Smoky Quartz? My, that is a fine choice! Air was always a fan of brewing storms. Now what's this? A piece of Petrified Wood? Very good choice, a favorite of mine. When the first tree fell into my clutches, it had taken me years just to figure out what to do with it. Sealing the mighty being's life into a stone was most likely the greatest of my accomplishments." Earth sent a bolt of magic into the petrified wood, passing it along to his fellows as they did the same to their respective gems. "Fine choices indeed. Onyx... A stone of protection carved into the likeness of a wolf. This is fitting for one such as you. Wear it well, Kenneth, and may it serve you now and forever."
Air transferred his influence as well into the piece of smoky quartz, and blew it to Kenneth. "We have accepted you, Kenneth, and in accepting you we have given you a share of our power. Prove yourself faithful to us and all spirits of this world, and you will find your power grow. If you lose your way, we will guide you back on the right path. If there is unbalance, we expect you to correct it. Go now, Shaman, and make us proud."
Kenny gave each of the elements his thanks and a bow, and they bowed in turn. Soon the scene melted away, and Kenny returned to a dreamless slumber.
Flash hopped off the train, and headed straight for the Main Square. Mistvale was well known as 'The City in The Trees'. This was because the original city had been entirely above the ground, built into the ancient redwoods. The city had two parts, the aptly named 'Downtown' with most of the shops and businesses. Then there was the residential part of the city that was built high in the trees themselves. Flash flew up to a shop that sold Gryphon attire and browsed the inventory before settling on a navy blue cardigan. He happily handed over the bits and went back outside. Now he waited.
He didn't wait long. He recognized Edith's favorite cloak from a long way off. The simple black clothing concealed her face and most of her body making it difficult for anyone to recognize her. Those who knew her would notice the silver peak at the top of the hood, giving it a beaked appearance. It was her own personal modification that was added to help people like Flash in situations like these. Flash approached Edith, making sur
"Good day to you, Princess." Flash spoke quietly so as not to incite a panic. "How are you this afternoon?" Edith squirmed under his gaze.
"Not another word, peasant, or I will have you locked up quicker than you can say 'my bad'." Edith's tone was forceful and would have been intimidating if Flash hadn't known that he was safe, assuming he played his cards right.
"Now, now, my Silver Mistress would never do that to me, would she?" Edith took on an expression of shock. "Do you not recognize your Rutt Stallion?" They had given eachother these goofy nicknames a while ago, using them only in private. Edith knew as well as he that only two beings on this world knew them.
"It can't be..." Edith whispered.
"Oh, but it can." Flash reassured her. "Thanks to a gift from a mutual friend, I can visit you a little more freely, duties permitting." Edith looked him in the eye, searching for the stallion she knew in them. Flash smiled a little awkwardly at the attention. Then he did what was probably the cutest thing Flash was known for. He booped Edith's beak with a claw, grinning like the idiot he was.
Edith punched him.
"What was that for?" Flash said gripping his aching shoulder.
"That's for not telling me you turned into a hot-as-fuck Gryphon you dolt!" Edith accused. "Did you seriously think I would recognize you? Your lucky you still act like a dumb-ass, or you would never have convinced me it was you."
"Goddess, Edith, that hurt!" Flash continued rubbing his sore shoulder.
"Shut up," Edith commanded. Flash listened. "This is how things are going to go. You are going to take me to this Crystal Empire or whatever. We are going straight to the resort and we are going to rut and rut and rut. We are going to rut until you can't walk."
"Question, ma'm." Flash even rose his hand.
"Yes?" Edith said with a raised eyebrow.
"Do you want to rut me as a Gryphon?" Edith took a minute to think this over, eyeing his new body.
"I'm going to say yes. Why?"
"Because if you really want to, we are going to have to do it on the train."
"Did you get a private booth?"
"Yeah..."
"Then I don't see an issue."
"Kenny... WhaAAAAaah. What time is it?" Luna turned to find her bedbug was still asleep. She sighed and levitated the small clock by her bed on front of her. Six in the evening, a little early but then again she had slept early as well. She nudged her boyfriend with a hoof, if she was up he had to be up too. He grumbled a little but remained unmoved. She pushed him harder. His arm went up and onto her face, and in one mighty push she was removed from the bed entirely. Luna scrambled to right herself, barely avoiding crashing to the floor. Instead she bounced down on her rump. She felt her anger rise and resisted the urge to banish Kenny. She instead blasted him off the bed with a stun spell. It sent him flying off to the opposite side of the bed, where he vanished from sight. Luna waited for the inevitable 'thump' of Kenny hitting the floor, only to find no such noise came. Instead she watched in awe as Kenny rose back up, sitting in a whirlwind that didn't disturb so much as a fly. He made a gesture with his hand she didn't recognize, raising the middle digit only. He then disappeared in a swirl of black magic, no doubt to his room. Luna begrudgingly accepted defeat, and got ready for the night.
Kenny appeared in his room. He headed straight for the showers and began his daily routine. Wash, trim, brush, comb and finally dress. Today he sported a simple brown tee and some tan khakis. Not very colorful, but he had been so used to wearing his faded robes that it felt weird to wear anything vibrant or flashy. The process of getting ready took about an hour. He double-checked that he was presentable and whisked up another contained whirlwind to fly him off to the dining room. He sat on it like a sultan would sit on a magic carpet, and he enjoyed every minute of it. He drew many stares from castle staff and nobles as he went along, flying just above their heads. When he reached the dining room door he dispersed the whirlwind and landed softly on his feet. Taking a minute to make sure everything was in order he entered the room.
Luna sat reading a magazine, the room's only occupant. Kenny sat next to her and called in a waiter, asking for a meal of cinnamon pancakes and hash browns.
"So, how was you're morning?" Kenny joked, cradling a glass of mimosa.
"You know full well, and is it not a little early to be drinking?" Kenny let out a hearty chuckle and responded with, "You forget that I am a creature of the day Luna. Right now is precisely the time to drink, in moderation of course." Luna nipped at him playfully and Kenny was quick to get a good poke in on her cutie mark, eliciting a cute squeak. She gave him a dirty look while he guffawed for what was quite possibly the fifth time since his return.
"If I didn't have work to do I would show you how a real mare handles a drink." Kenny chuckled yet again. He so missed Luna and her quirks.
"Make it through tonight and we'll see," Kenny said with a mischievous grin. It was at this moment Celestia and Morgan entered the room. They were talking about something related to how unicorn's horns worked, but they had lost Kenny quickly. Instead he chose to meditate, closing his eyes and clearing his mind.
"Isn't that right Kenneth?" Morgan suddenly asked, breaking Kenny out of his meditation. "Huh?" He dumbly uttered.
"Holly is the best for wands, is it not?" Kenny took the innocent question entirely wrong.
"What?!" Kenny said in horror. "Why would you do that?"
"Use holly in a wand?" Morgan was confused why such a thing upset him so.
"Yes! Have you no humanity? What has Holly ever done to you?" Then it clicked for Luna.
"Holly is his pet Timber-wolf," Luna explained. "Kenny, she was talking about the wood."
"Oh." Kenny said meekly.
"How would that even work?" Morgan asked. "Bone is an ill material for a wand, and wolves don't have anything else usabl-"
Kenny cut her off with, "Timber-wolves are called so because they are living piles of wood." Morgan looked at him in disbelief. She even turned to Celestia for confirmation, the alicorn mare nodding confirmation of his words.
"Well, sorry then, Kenneth." Kenny let out a groan of frustration.
"How many times Morgan?! Just call me Kenny! Everyone else does!"
"Don't you find such a childish nickname demeaning?" Kenny's head impacted the table.
"You are impossible woman." Came Kenny's muffled voice. Morgan frowned.
"You're no better." Morgan huffed a little and turned her back to him.
Luna rubbed Kenneth's back and decided now was the best time for proper introductions. "Excuse me, Madame?" Once Morgan had turned her way Luna said, "I would like to say it is nice to be able to finally introduce myself, I am Princess Luna."
"Yes, your sister told me about you. I'm Morgan Le Feu. It is nice to meet you as well." After introductions were made Luna began her inquiries into this woman.
"How did you meet Kenny?"
"Alfred introduced him to me as his second apprentice, having already taught me all he can for basic training."
"That is true," Kenny interjected, raising from the table. "I distinctly remember you giving the nastiest stink-eye when he wasn't looking. I also remember him telling you off for being rude a second later." Morgan fumed and Luna knocked him upside the head for his comment.
"What magic do you study?" Luna asked.
"I have trained as a battle mage, priest and healer." Morgan smiled a little in pride.
The waiters came in with Kenny and Luna's food, taking Celestia and Morgan's before returning to the kitchens. Kenny took his plate and made to leave. However he was stopped when Luna asked him where he was going.
"I've arranged a meeting with some some scientists in Canterlot. I'm gonna be giving them some tech I brought from home." Luna and Celestia shared a look of pleasant surprise. "Given time, I'm sure this will give you guy's a twenty-year boost in the sense of technological advancement."
"That is quite the boon, Kenny," Celestia said. "How can we ever repay you?"
"You already did, you let me stay. Bye gals."
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Oh Kenny, Where Art Thou?
"Princess Luna?" Luna looked up from her Eggplant Parmesan to find Morgan giving her a curious and interested look. "I'm sorry if its a little personal and forgive me for being forward, but what are you to Kenneth?" Luna's face twisted into a look of stark disbelief.
"You mean he hasn't told you?" Luna asked. concern running deep in her voice. She felt her heart pang when Morgan shook her head no.
"He didn't talk about any of you. I hadn't even learned he had left our reality until Alfred had made an offhand comment about it. Lo and behold, time comes for him to go out and earn some life experience and he pounces on the opportunity to come here. Since our arrival I have wondered what brought him back, and why he never spoke about it." Luna was now pissed and likely to destroy her lover when he got back. "Then I heard about you." Luna perked up at this. "Pardon?" Luna asked, unsure of what she meant.
"Kenneth lost much sleep staring at the stars and constellations the first two years I was with him. Whenever I asked him about it he would say 'It isn't the same.' I never thought he would be talking about your night skies. When your sister here told me about what roles you two play, it clicked. He must have missed seeing your skies. It explained so much. Did he tell you shamans have spirit forms?" Luna shook her head no, Celestia listening intently as well. "Shamans learn to transform into a spirit, it is a important part of their training. It is different for every shaman, as it is a representation of who they are on the deepest level. He turns into a wolf."
Morgan let that sink in, but the meaning was lost on the Royal Sisters.
"Wolves in human culture have always been seen as symbols of freedom, brotherhood, and fearlessness. They are masters of the hunt, and serve as warriors, protectors, and loyal companions. The important part, however, is that they are also seen as patrons of the night. Wolf spirits are often used in rituals involving the moon, seeing as that wolves are her messengers and servants" Luna looked on in shock. Her earlier anger with Kenny had vanished. "And here I learn he has spent a prolonged amount of time around the living embodiment of the night before he ever even heard of shamanism. Whatever you have, it was enough that it left an imprint on his very being." Morgan took a breather after letting that all out. "Sorry, I tend to get a little long winded about stuff like that. So, back to the original question, what are you and Kenny?"
Luna was still reeling and simply sat there processing the news. Celestia spoke for her.
"The two are currently dating." Morgan nodded sagely at this news and said, "I figured as much. It made the most sense with all the evidence presented. I'm amazed he managed to stay interested that long. Most men eventually give up after a while, or find someone else along the way. I have to say Luna, you lucked out with Kenneth."
"Yeah." Luna's voice was soft and hinted that her thoughts were really elsewhere. "Excuse me, I'm going to go find my boyfriend and pull him straight back to the bedroom." Celestia whooped while Morgan looked on in mild disgust.
"I'm beginning to see what he sees in her."
"Wow..." Edith was thoroughly impressed by the Crystal Palace. The shining cathedral was both massive and magnificent. When she had heard about it, she hadn't thought it was actually made of crystal. Then again, she didn't believe Crystal Ponies looked like crystals either. The whole 'Crystal Empire' thing was starting to make lots of sense.
"Yeah... Did you know I was almost put on guard detail here?" Flash commented as he munched on a scone. The totem's effects had long since worn off and he and Edith decided to spend their first day sight-seeing. Edith, a little confused as to why it didn't happen, asked for clarification, though it came out more like, "Why the fuck didn't you?"
"I was already here as a guard for Princess Twilight's coronation. Me and Prince Shining go way back, so he asked if I would like to stay as part of the Empire's Royal Guard. I told him I would think about it and went back home. I almost took him up on it, then Kenny popped into existence. I was assigned as his personal guard and I had to decline Shining's offer." Edith nodded her head in understanding and continued walking around the city. She wasn't done asking things though, "Do you regret not accepting his offer sooner?"
"Heck no!" Flash said with a chuckle. "If I had taken him up on his offer I would never have met my wing-man! And, if I never met Kenny, I would never have met you! Do I regret not moving to the Empire? About as much as I regret spending twenty bits on Attack on Sleipnir."
"Are you sure you don't have a fetish for six-legged horses?" Edith joked. Flash's mood instantly worsened, he hated that joke.
"I already told you, I read it for the plot." Flash muttered.
"Yeah, 'plot', gotcha honey." Edith giggled when Flash's face turned a nice shade of vermilion.
"Your the worst..." Edith wrapped him in her arms and gave him a tight squeeze. He smiled at her and peck her beak with a kiss.
"So where to now?" Edith said, hopping off him.
"How do you feel about jousting?" Flash said pulling a pair of tickets out of his saddlebag. Edith's eyes widened and she nodded her head fervently.
"Where did you find tickets?"
"I told you, me and Shining go way back. When I told him I was visiting he got all kinds of things set up for us. However there was a little catch..."
"What?" Edith didn't like that Flash's face turned into one of worry and fear.
"You and Princess Cadance are going to have a 'girl's night' tomorrow." Flash said with a false smile.
"....How do you plan to make up for this?" Edith said calmly.
"I brought my best whiskey. Aged for twenty years, gold label, everything. Guaranteed to make you number than a wooden board."
"Good boy."
"Luna, I already told you I can't." Kenny had finished the conference (which had consisted of him walking in and throwing a bag with a couple texts on the advancement and function of technology on Earth and various computers, big and small, into the room and walking out again) and was headed for his room. Luna had insisted that he instead go to hers for another 'roll in the hay'. "I have lots of things to do and I'm sure you have work to do as well." Luna pouted as cutely as she could in hopes that it would sway him, but frowned sourly when he remained unmoved. "Luna, as much as I would love to, I have responsibilities now. If I don't realign my gear the elements will get pissed. They're finicky as it is, I don't want to piss them off by channeling them through tainted mediums. It would be like sloppy seconds for them."
"I liked it better when you had more time for me..." Luna grumbled.
"I wish that were the case, Luna, but I have responsibilities now. I would expect you of all ponies to understand." Luna's ears drooped as she responded, "I do, its just that you make me so happy all the time and now that you'll let me I really want to repay the favor."
Kenny's eyebrow raised, "Through constant sex?" He received a prompt swat in the rear by Luna's tail for that comment.
"Excuse me for choosing a method that I too find enjoyable. If that is how you feel perhaps I should retract my offer." Luna mimicked the haughty nobles she dealt with on a nightly basis, snout pointed in the air as she sped up her trot to pull ahead of him.
"Good, then maybe I can get some work done. Bye Luna." Kenny winked out of existence, leaving a highly disgruntled Luna in his wake.
Luna grumbled to herself as she approached her office. She hoped today she would have something to do, thanks to Twilight and her friends her original work as the sword of Equestria was meaningless. Few threats ever presented themselves that required her intervention, meaning she was often stuck doing lots of nothing. It was getting so bad that some days she considered taking on some of the work on Celestia's side of things, but remembered what happened the last time she had done so and shot it down. She opened the door to find her IN box empty, and she sighed in disappointment. Another long, boring night it would seem. She called over a hoof-servant and requested a coffee cake be delivered to her office. The dainty mare nodded once and trotted quickly away to do so.
Luna sat at her desk with a mighty floompf! on the goose down pillow seat. She desperately wanted something to do. Before, Kenny had slept through the night, now that he was awake he was too busy to alleviate her of her boredom. She threw around ideas in her head, mulling over the few options she had. The sad reality was that her sleeping schedule prevented her from finding many friends. Most ponies slept, and those that were awake were usually working and didn't appreciate distractions. She felt a furry form cuddle up by her hooves and Luna looked down to find Tiberius had wormed his way into her lap. At least she had him during these nights.
She picked up the playful possum and nuzzled him affectionately. "Oh, what should I do Tiberius?" She asked the cute marsupial. "Kenny is busy, work is slow, and I find myself without things to do. As comforting as it is to see Equestria so peaceful, I long for a foe to face or a challenge to conquer. Times have really changed." Tiberius licked her nose, eliciting a quaint giggle from the princess. "Your right, I shouldn't think like that. If the times have changed, then I will change with them. I must find new things to conquer besides dragons and manticores, both fictional and non." Luna stood proudly from her seat, Tiberius balanced on top of her crown. "The world is full of adventure! I just need to find it!" Luna weaved her way to the door and sped through the castle.
Five minutes later, the hoof-servant returned with the coffee cake on a cart, only to find an empty room. Checking to see if anyone was watching, the castle staff entered the empty room and the cake was never seen again.
Luna came to a stop at Kenny's door. Her first endeavor would be to assist Kenny in whatever he was doing. This would not only fix her state of apathy, but it would hasten its completion, bringing her closer to another night of joyous romping. She gripped the knob in hoof and turned it to find the door was securely locked. Sadly, security measures have been placed to prevent unlocking the door with magic, and teleporting in would be dangerous if he was in the middle of a spell. Her sudden, unannounced appearance would undoubtedly cause a scene. Instead she opted for the next best thing. She rapped her hoof on the door, sounding off three hard, even thuds on the door. When an explosion did not rock the hallway she breathed a sigh of relief.
"Yessum?" Came Kenny's voice from behind the door.
"Kenny, Love? It's me, Luna."
"At ten o'clock at night? You don't say?" The sarcasm was so thick, it oozed like molasses through his words.
"Can I come in?" Luna asked, ignoring his remark.
A minute passed before she heard the lock on the door click and the portal open. "Very well. Come on in."
His room had gone a complete makeover since his arrival. The once refined and royal bedroom was now gone. In its place was what looked like a Zebrican tribal's hut. The walls were adorned with various talismans, carvings, tapestries and other unique items. There was even a wooden shield on one wall, covered in intricate, indecipherable carvings. The desk and nightstand were littered with bottles, flasks, rocks and trinkets. They appeared to be placed at random, no sense of order among it all. Kenny sat on the floor in the middle of four totems, each a pillar with carvings representing one of the four magical elements. Kenny himself was bare from the waist up, his legs clothed in some rough-looking orange cloth. His back was to her, legs crossed and hands on his knees as he sat ramrod straight. Along with the totems was a long bladed spear of a make Luna has never seen. It floated just in front of Kenny, wrapped in his black magic. It glowed a brilliant white, then quickly faded as Kenny lowered the weapon down.
"All done. Now what was it you needed Luna?" Kenny stood as he talked. He grabbed a matching orange shirt from his bed, the only thing in the room left untouched, and pulled the material over his head. It was large and baggy on him, a very modest choice of wear, Luna thought.
"I am bored, and so came here in hopes to correct my boredom." Luna said as she crossed into his threshold. "What are you doing?"
"Now, I'm going to move on to practicing my movements." Kenny reached into the bag he had brought with him, which now lay at the foot of his bed, and began rooting around.
"Is there anyway I can help?" Luna asked. Tiberius climbed from her shoulder to the floor and began inspecting the many strange aromas that wafted around the room.
"Aha!" Kenny cried in triumph as he pulled out an oil lamp. "What? Oh. Sure, meet me in the gardens. I'll be by the Weeping Willow." Luna and Kenny both knew the tree well. It rested on a personal island in a small pond deep in the gardens. It was Luna's favorite place for picnics. Luna was going to ask why she needed to meet him there when they would both be walking the same direction when he winked out of existence again. Luna couldn't help but consider that he may be a little addicted to teleportation. She followed shortly after.
Luna arrived to find Kenny placing the lit lamp on the ground. When he had it placed just right she asked, "So what do you need me to do?"
"I need you to make sure nothing I do causes unnecessary harm." Kenny entered a balanced stance, palms pressed together in front of him. "These can become incredibly dangerous if I mess up." Luna nodded and pulled up a bubble shield around them. Now no magic would be able to get in or out.
"If these are so dangerous, why are you practicing them in Celestia's prized gardens?"
"It was either here, or the Everfree, and the last time I visited there it was on fire." Kenny closed his eyes and relaxed his body with a deep breath.
"What!?" Luna's shrill cry caused Kenny to tense up. So much for relaxation.
"Shh, Luna. I need to focus." Kenny resumed his deep breaths, calming himself. When he had reached an optimal level of relaxed, he began.
Kenny started by taking a large step towards the pond, his body turning as he did. Now his left leg was stretched out in front of him, his body perpendicular to the water's edge. He separated his palms and his arms moved slowly down, then up in a smooth, circular motion. Matching his movements a orb of water gradually rose from the pond, an action that Luna failed to see any danger in. Luna watched, and realized something about what he was doing nagged at her, but she couldn't pinpoint what caused her unease. She pushed it aside. Kenny opened his eyes and they locked on the smooth orb of crystal clear water. He slowly rose back into a standing position. Then, with a quick sweep of his arm, the water turned in to variable whip, lashing out to his side before returning to hover over his right palm. This movement was followed by another and another, in quick succession. Kenny's movement's were graceful and smooth, the water following him like a ribbon through the air. He stopped suddenly, returning to the same position as before, palms pressed together. The water turned into a mist that hung around his feet.
"Impressive." Luna commented, receiving a coy smile from Kenny as a reward.
Kenny's next action abandoned grace entirely. He stomped his right foot into the ground and a chunk of earth lifted itself from the ground, eliciting an 'eep!' from the Moon Princess. He slammed his now open hands together as fists, knuckle to knuckle. The chunk compressed into a perfectly round stone, smooth and featureless. Kenny held it in place as he repeated the actions multiple times, producing three more stone spheres. They circled lazily as Kenny twirled his hand in little circles. He formed a fist and the stones collided with eachother above his head, mashing into a single entity. Feet planted firmly into the ground, Kenny brought his arms straight down, and the stone crashed back into the earth. Rather than leave a crater, it melded back into the ground, leaving little more than a patch of soil where it landed. He pressed his elbows into his sides, fists held out horizantally. The ground heaved and surrounded him, encasing him in a dome of rock. The dome exploded shortly after, the fragments flying outwards and stopping midair before they impacted anything. Kenny stood at the epicenter, arms extended fully and hands open wide. He calmly stood up straight again, the floating rocks falling back into the earth.
Luna sat in awe of what she had seen. Kenny, unaware of this, moved on.
Kenny began by moving his hands in a twirling fashion, his entire body moving along with the movement. The only visible sign he was doing anything was how his clothes flapped with growing intensity as he did. Then the air in between his hands showed their true colors, a ball of distortion forming between his hands. He threw the ball at the willow. The result was an explosion of wind on the trees trunk, throwing leaves into the air. Kenny swiped his hands to the left, and a gust of wind followed suit pulling the leaves with it. He continued pulling the air along and around him, physically twirling. Soon a localized tornado formed with Kenny at its epicenter. He stopped moving and it seemed the entire world froze. The very air stilled and the leaves were suspended motionless in the air. He lowered his outstretched hands and the leaves resumed fluttering to the ground. Kenny, however, wasn't done. He began to twirl his hands again, this time above his head. Dark, stormy clouds formed above him, just in Luna's barrier. Lightning suddenly struck down on Kenny and Luna leapt up to help him, shocked by the turn of events. However, Kenny stood unaffected by the shock, sparks dancing over his body. He threw his hand up and his own bolt of lightning leapt from his fingertips and struck the cloud, dispelling it.
"You bastard!" Luna yelled, "I thought you were hurt!" Kenny chuckled.
"Luna, I'm obviously fine. Sorry if I scared you-"
"IF!?"
"-That I scared you, but I've been doing this for a couple years now. I know what I'm doing. This next set is the easiest to mess up, so I'm telling you now. Be prepared." Kenny set himself in a balanced stance, but kept his arms curled at his sides rather than in front of him.
Then Kenny's right arm shot out to his side, towards the oil lamp on the ground. The small, flickering flame roared to a new life and Kenny thrust his hand forward. The flame leapt from the lamp, past Kenny, and directly at Luna, but, before it even made it within a yard of her, dispelled. He performed a roundhouse kick that the fire followed, vanishing as his foot reconnected to the ground. He launched a few punches, bursts of fire leaping from the lamp. Kenny was careful to dispell the flames before they hit anything. These new moves were more aggressive and resembled kung-fu, lots of kicks and punches. When he had completed these sets he moved on to the most advanced one. Kenny began collecting the fire around him, the flickering flames dancing around him like a snake as they collected. Then he shrunk them into a small ball in his hand and raised it too his mouth. Then he breathed a stream of fire over the pond, the wide spray narrowly avoiding incinerating the tree.
"Aaaand done," Kenny said.
Flash Sentry and Edith Grayfeather both settled into bed after there long first day of vacation. Too tired to do anything but sleep, they crawled into the sheets and Edith turned off the light. They were staying at a four-star hotel, all expenses paid by Flash's generous guard salary. Flash knew how to relax in style.
"Well, that was fun," Edith said as she cuddled up next to her colt-friend. "I didn't know crystal ponies were so hardcore."
Flash laughed as he recalled the events at the jousting tournament. "Did you see that dude's leg? The bone was even poking out!"
"Priceless!" Edith joined in his laughter. "You almost puked!"
"I know! It was the gnarliest thing I've ever seen!"
They continued their chuckles for a while before exhaustion over took them and they drifted off to sleep. Flash's dreams were simple at first, going to school naked, sea of ice cream, surrounded by sexy Edith clones, you know, basic stuff. Then he had this dream...
Flash was flying through the sky. He strained his wings, willing himself to go faster. The wind whipped against his face, his lips flapped in the wind as slowly and steadily he approached the speed of sound. He felt the air bend around him as he went ever faster. He pushed harder as the very air seemed to try and hold him back. He was getting close, he could feel it. Just... a little... faster!
"Science Bitch!" Flash yelped as a red and gold blur broke the sound barrier and barreled right past him. He careened off, flipping heads-over tails in the air before landing hard in a chair. He looked around to find himself in a dark and foreboding room. In front of him was a stainless steel table. He couldn't see anything else in the shadowy room. Then a bright light was turned on and aimed directly in his face, preventing him from seeing anything but it. When he attempted to move his head out of the beam's path, an unseen force would move it back into his eyes. What was going on?
"Does he look like a bitch?" A deep, menacing voice said.
"W-Wha-"
"What country you from?!" It yelled at him.
"What!?"
"What ain't a country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?"
"W-What!?"
"English Motherfucker! Do. You. Speak It!"
"Yes!"
"Then you know what I'm saying?"
"...Not really."
The table was thrown to the side and the lamp cast it's light on Flash's captor. There, shown in stark relief by the lamp's bright light was a red, featureless face with large black ovals surrounding it's eyes. The pony's white, empty eyes pierced into Flash's soul.
"Chimichanga time, Bitch..." The figure grasped the confused and thoroughly frightened Flash in it's hooves and spun him around on his chair. The world turned into a blur of color and Flash's brain began to melt.
"WHaaaHT's GOoooiINNG OOOOOnnnN!!!!!!" He yelled out in despair.
The chair suddenly stopped, though Flash's eyes were still trying to catch up with this fact. Once his eyeballs stopped rolling in their sockets, Flash looked at his savior.
A gigantic hoof.
Connected to a much larger body, with a total of eight, over sized hooves in all.
"A S-Sleipnir?" Flash whispered. The giant hoof retracted, and the giant horses body lowered into a laying position. Even after this, Flash still couldn't see it's face. "It has to be at least eighty hooves high..." Flash whispered. Then the Slepnir's head came crashing down inches in front of Flash, causing the poor stallion to nearly wet himself. When he opened his eyes he nearly peed again.
It was staring at him.
Gigantic, red, blank eyes.
Just staring.
Flash tore his gaze away to look at the rest of the Sleipnir. It had a dirty, tangled mane that was a ruddy green. It's coat was a creamy mocha and it had a distinct feminine figure.
"Hi~" It whispers. Did it just talk! Sleipnir don't talk!
"Hello?" Flash was unsure what to make of all this.
"My name's Hazel~" The giant whispered again. It's gigantic mouth pulled back into what was supposed to be a cute smile, but it's sheer size prevented anything it did from being cute.
"My name's Flash Sentry..."
"Oooo~ Your name is cuter than you are!" Its voice never went above that whisper.
"Uh, thanks?" Wasn't it supposed to try and eat him? What was going on?
"You want to go for a ride?"
Flash was surprised at this offer, Sleipnir were giant, pony-eating, mindless monsters. This one acted like a foal with a new toy.
"Sure?" He was afraid of what would happen if he said no.
Quicker than he could react, the giant snapped him up in her jaws, spat him into the air, and landing him a soft spot on her crown among her sea of green hair. Little did the giant know, much less able to taste, that Flash had finally wet himself.
When Flash finally looked up from his perch, he saw they were now walking through a forest, one that Flash was sure wasn't there before.
"Where are you taking me?" Flash asked. Hazel responded by swiveling her ears so they faced him more. He asked again, raising his voice a little.
"To my home, silly!" Her booming voice was difficult to ignore. "I'm going to feed you, play with you, and make you mine!" Flash gulped. Things had taken a much more sinister turn. What was worse, he knew he couldn't get away. This Sleipnir was intelligent, so that meant that it would catch him with ease if he tried to escape. He could only hope she was gentle with him.
"Here we are!" Flash was broken out of his thoughts to find himself in a giant log cabin. Thousands of trees made up the walls of the gigantic structure. With a flip of her mane, Flash was sent flying into a soft bed made of pine needles wrapped in burlap. Hazel approached Flash, and Flash awaited his fate.
"Now," Hazel began, her voice dropping to whisper again. "I want you to squirm as much as you can, Mama's been waiting for this."
"What?" Flash whimpered, his small voice going unheard by the giant. Hazel turned around and presented Flash something he knew didn't belong on any Sleipnir.
"Wait! Sleipnir don't have genitals!" Flash yelled.
Then Hazel sat on him.
Thousands of miles away, Luna and Kenny were laughing there heads off at the look of sheer horror that Flash had before waking up.
Author's Note
Sorry about the delay, Life finally caught up with me. Anyway here's the new chapter! Please leave your opinions in the comments section and see you all next time!
View Online
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
And So Our Great Hero Embarks On a Harrowing Adventure
"Good Morning Madame Feu." Morgan had just left her room to find a golden armored guard posted at her door. "Do you need any assistance around the castle?"
"No," Morgan replied, a little puzzled by his presence. "I was just going to get some breakfast."
"Very good Madame." The guard replied with a nod. Madame nodded back, still confused, and decided to ask Celestia about it when she reached the dining room. She began down the hallway, but stopped when she saw the grey unicorn follow. He stopped as well, standing stoically as ever.
"Are you following me?"
"As your personal guard, I am to accompany you wherever you may go." The guard's explanation was clipped and exact, almost like he practiced saying them.
"I don't remember asking for a guard."
"It is a policy that started when a Zebrican delegate was attacked by radical purists. Any and all foreign guests are to be escorted by at least one guard, so as to discourage any retaliation the public may have against them." His response was immediate and flawless. It was too good. This stallion was starting to scare her with his military precision.
"Okay, if you are going to accompany me wherever I may go, I believe proper introductions are in order." Morgan performed a curtsy. "I am Morgan Le Feu. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance."
The guard similarly bowed his head. "I am Chief Warrant Officer Sterling Saber. Thank you for the opportunity to know you." She would have believed his gratitude if his words didn't sound so rehearsed. Did he even feel emotion?
Morgan continued her day. She got breakfast, had her morning discussion with Celestia, Luna and Kenny, went back to her room and studied Equestrian magic for three hours, and finally wrote a short report on her findings to send to Alfred. All the while Sterling Saber was never far, keeping guard and remaining vigilant. Morgan was a little perturbed by how standoffish he was. She swore she heard one of the maids whimper when he looked at her. In a world of colorful, friendly, affable ponies, he was a bit of an anomaly. So, seeing as she currently had nothing better to do, she decided to figure out her introverted guard. See what made him tick.
"Officer Sterling? Would you please come in here?" At her call the door opened and Sterling marched in. Morgan watched him from the edge of her bed. Morgan took note of his mechanical movements. Sterling seemed to decidedly never do anything naturally, like he was constantly aware of everything in his body, never letting himself relax.
"Yes Ma'm?" Sterling asked. Again, his words were hollow and his question came out a statement.
"I, in lack of things to do, have found myself in a state of boredom. So, to alleviate said boredom, I have decided that we should get to know eachother. If you are to be my personal guard in the long-term it will be an inevitability. 'Don't do tomorrow what can be done today,' I always say. I'll start, where are you from?" Morgan had been sure that her words came out as mildly interested. She didn't want to reveal her true intentions. The statement also, being true at its core, wouldn't be perceived as a veiled lie.
Sterling showed his first emotion that day, shown through the way his eyes widened a fraction. This announcement had caught him off guard, Morgan took a mental note of this for later. "I grew up in Vanhoover, Ma'm."
"My early childhood was a nomadic one. Me and my mentor constantly moved from one place to another. It was an enlightening existence, and I learned many things during my adventures. Sadly, such a lifestyle meant I had few friends and grew up awkward when confronted by others." Sterling shifted a little when she was finished, this didn't go unnoticed by Morgan. Did she make him uncomfortable? "Tell me about Vanhoover Sterling, I'm sure it's a wonderful place."
Sterling was visibly shaken now, he shifted his weight from one hoof to another and he kept breaking eye contact. It was small, but it was there. The question was making him uncomfortable. "With all due respect Ma'm, I fail to see why you wish to do this."
Now he was trying to get out of it. "Because I'm bored and need something to do. I've already explained myself earlier."
"Permission to speak freely?" Sterling asked. His voice remained level.
"Go right on ahead."
Suddenly he relaxed, all the robotic tension leaving his body. "It was a wonderful place to grow up. The winters were cold, but fun. The summers were splendid memories I cherish to this day. Not a day goes by where I don't stop and think about my hometown." His voice mirrored the nostalgic expression of joy that graced the guards features. Morgan was blown away, ehat happened to the stoic, stone-faced stallion before?
"That is nice to here, but I must ask. Why the duality?" He had opened up a lot more than expected already, it wouldn't be unwise to push for a little more.
"You must mean the way I turn into an introvert. It's a defense mechanism I developed over the years. My psychiatrist told me it stems from when I got picked on for being emotional as a colt. My wonky brain shuts down emotion when I feel threatened now, that way I wouldn't provide something for bullies to pick on. I'm supposedly a rare case and I participate in experiments at the Canterlot Psychiatric Society once a month. I even get payed for it!" He gave Morgan a reassuring smile before continuing, "Now, as long as I am conscious of it, I can control when I go into 'Guard Mode'. It's a boon really, I can keep a level head in even the most stressful of situations! When the changelings invaded, I was the only one in my regiment that didn't freak out! I got promoted and now I even live in a real house!" He turned to find Morgan was watching intently, a notepad in hand a pen in the other.
She nodded to a couch that Sterling swore wasn't there before. "Continue."
Sterling shrugged and laid down on the couch. "Well, it started when I was seven-"
Morgan was furiously scribbling away at the notepad she had managed to yank out during Sterling's monologue. Screw Kenneth , she thought, Sterling's psychosis is tons better than any secrets that lovable moron has...
Celestia was doing her daily duties as Princess, attending events, going to meetings, and various other Royal duties. While taxing, Celestia enjoyed most of her work, safe in the knowledge that every action she takes is another step in insuring the longevity of her peaceful nation. But, like in anything, there are things she does not enjoy doing. Things like banishing her sister, dealing with Blueblood, and diets. The list went on.
One of the worst, however, was finding an ambassador who had the stomach to visit the various nations of the world. It wouldn't be an issue if ti weren't for the many traditions other national leaders had. Griffon nobles went on bloody and daring hunts for wild boars, dragging along ill-prepared Equestrian Officials with them as a show of brotherhood. Minotaur had contests of strength that would break all but the strongest of her guards. The many Zebrican tribes chiefs each had their own rituals and methods of welcoming guests to their lands, each more troubling than the last.
Finding a trusted and well spoken pony who can stand having their bodies painted with the blood of an eagle mixed with a lion's milk was difficult to say the least.
The last ambassador was now getting professional help, seeing as he had come back from Greifland muttering something about blood and the many applications of a boar's intestines.
Now Celestia found herself, yet again, without an ambassador. If this persisted, she would have to resort to directly contacting them through letters, a lengthy process when the second party could not receive mail by fire. Brave Heart was the best canidate she had found, and he barely lasted two years. She couldn't keep sending ponies to their psychological dooms in good conscience.
She didn't even need the pony to be very good at negotiation, seeing as all the other leaders were very amiable. She just needed someone who could deal with their eccentricities while remaining respectable, but she couldn't think of anypony who could kill a boar, wrestle a minotaur, and eat locusts and still remain sane.
Celestia sighed in defeat. There was no point in finding a new ambassador, he would only be back in a year and Celestia would have to add on more to the twenty-three other victims who had their psychiatrists bills paid by the Crown. She would have to work with what she had, and hope it doesn't cause problems in the long run.
Celestia pulled out a piece of parchment and began composing a letter to explain the situation to the other world leaders when a distraction presented itself. Kenneth came bursting into the room on Holly, carrying a small package in his arms, followed by a unkempt and distraught Luna, who was begging for him to give it back.
"It was supposed to be a surprise and you ruined it!" Kenny steered Holly expertly around the throne room, dodging Luna's dive bombs.
"I'm sorry I took it from your bag, I was only curious! I promise it will never happen again, just let me open it!" Luna dive bombed him again, Holly leaping away just in the nick of time and into a vase, smashing it. Now it had gone too far. Celestia halted all present bodies in the air. Celestia had to withhold her laughter when Holly kept moving her legs in little circles as the Sun Demigod levitated the woody creature and its rider.
"What is the meaning of this?" Celestia gave them both a reprimanding look. Luna shrank away in her sister's gaze. Kenny remained adamant, safe on his high horse.
"Luna had purloined the gift I had intended to give her, ruining the surprise and my trust in her." Kenny turned his head away, arms crossed. "Then she has the balls to ask if she can still open it." Celestia was about to make a retort on his foul language when Luna cut in.
"We have already said sorry!" Apparently the situation has Luna to fall back into the royal plural. "We were simply curious as to the contents of your large, enchanted bag! We had found your gift and had intended to ask you about it later, but it slipped our mind." She attempted to give Kenny her best puppy eyes, but he was still refusing to look at her. It was then Celestia noticed the package, wrapped tightly in the crook of the man's left arm like a football. She attempted to weasel out the box for a closer look, but Kenny was quick to notice it and quickly drew up a rune to repel further attempts. Hardly an obstruction for one of her power, Celestia knew, but she would prefer staying on his good side.
"Is this the gift that you speak of?" Celestia calmly asked Kenny, receiving a reluctant nod in return. "While I understand that you are disappointed with my sister, I am as well, that does not justify the horseplay being enacted in these halls. I am blown to an ague when I think of what harm you two might have caused." Luna chuckled at the reference as it flew right past Kenny, who was still clutching the box like it was the Holy Grail.
"I was originally going to put it back in my bag," Kenny began. "But a certain Loony summoned it before I could even reach it myself." Luna's face gained an embarrassed blush. "When this same Loony teleported to my room to retrieve not a minute later, the real fiasco began."
Celestia turned to Luna and asked, "Is this true?"
"...Yes..."
"How embarrassing it must be for a mare your age to act like such a bratty foal." Luna turned away, shame overtaking her. "Surely you knew better, Lu-Lu. Tell me, what compelled you to chase him through the castle?"
Luna was silent for the moment, then began with a sigh, "I'm bored Celly. Back in my day the nights were filled with my conquering of dangerous beasts in the Everfree. I was the Sword of Equestria. Now there are no more monsters to face and Twilight and her friends take care of everything else. My nights are spent in my room wishing for something to entertain me."
"... I don't get it. It's like noon. I woke you up, remember? If this was all a ruse to get me-OW!!!" Celestia had sent a piece of the broken vase flying into the back of Kenny's head, conveying her message of 'Shut Up You Brainless Dolt' through her glare.
"I know that things have been slow Lu-Lu, and I'm sorry for that, but that still doesn't excuse your actions. If you are so desperate for things to do, maybe you should consider waking earlier to assist me in my work."
"NO!" Luna blurted out. "I have already seen what horrors you must attend to on a daily basis, and I do not intend to get involved in such matters again."
"Ahh, I thought you at least had some fun that day, I heard you even got to play a rather interesting game of chess."
"That hardly makes up for the rest of the day's events."
Celestia gave a concerned sigh. "I don't what I'm going to do with you Luna..."
"Uhh, can I go now?" Celestia gave him another dirty look. "Nuh-uh, not this time. This is between you and Luna. As boyfriend I can only do so much to keep her busy. I can't last for 12 hours, as awesome as that would be." Celestia was about to relent, if only to stop his crass humor, when an idea struck her.
"Actually, there is something the both of you could do for me that would solve all of our problems. The last ambassador has just quit and I find myself without any proper applicants. The job is demanding, but if you two were to except, Luna would have something to do, Kenny would get to see more of our wonderful world as well as assist Luna with some of the more eccentric nations, and I would have a pair of Ambassador's I can rely on. Everybody wins."
Luna was hesitant. "I don't know Celly, I would have to change my sleeping schedule, and it would interfere with my work fighting nightmares."
"Lu-Lu, you know you are just making excuses. Nightmares are a rare occurrence nowadays, usually solved with the help of a professional psychiatrist. What is the real reason?"
"Idon'twannagetupearly..." It was so quick and so quiet that it was rendered near impossible to hear.
"You don't want to get up early?" Kenny asked. Luna nodded.
"You know what, Celestia, sign me up. If the 'Sword of Equestria' can't do it, then I will probably get a medal for it." Kenny raised his arms in the air and yelled, "Let it be known from this day forth, that I, Kenneth W. Lee of the U.S. of A., am totally braver, stronger, and all around more awesome than Princess Lazy-Ass."
"Now if you would," Kenny continued as Luna looked on in shock and embarrassment. "I will take back the bauble that Looney has proven unworthy of and prepare for the never-ending quest that is diplomacy and goodwill between nations." Celestia, too stunned by his actions to argue, levitated the package in question. "Release me fair Princess, and I will depart as soon as mine squire returns from his vacation!" He even thrust his finger into the air as he spoke to punctuate his point. Celestia released him and Luna, Holly whisking him away to other parts of the castle.
Then Celestia realized Kenny's true reasons for acting like a total ass.
3...
Luna fidgeted and fumed.
2...
She huffed and puffed.
1...
Luna's Royal Canterlot voice caused the castle to vibrate. "INSUBORDINATE INGRATE!!!! WE WILL SHOW THOUGH!!!! MARK OUR WORDS!!!!" Luna turned, positively smoldering in unbridled rage, to her unperturbed sister.
"I take it you will be joining him?" It wasn't even really a question by this point.
"Indeed."
"You do know that this is exactly what he wants right?"
"That is what angers me the most. The apprentice has become the master."
"I have to ask. How did you and Flash meet? I mean, a Griffon Princess and a Royal Guard? That sort of stuff only happens in fairy tales." Edith had been expecting the fellow Princess to be like most of the nobles back home, snooty, bitchy dingwads with iron poles shoved up their bums. Princess Cadenza was actually pretty cool. Though this had been the fifth question about her and Flash.
"At a party. Why are you so interested in my love life anyway?" Edith and Cadence were both having their appendages assaulted by files and talked to pass the time.
"Oh, Edith, you should know that love lives are my specialty. To hear that my husband's good friend and colleague was visiting our humble nation with a griffoness in tow was quite the news, and you know how old mares like me love to gossip." They shared girlish giggles before Cadence continued, "Anyway, you still haven't really told me what happened. When exactly did you hit it off?"
"After a ferocious night of humping." Edith waited for the inevitable reprimand. It never came.
"Okay, now what is it you like so much about him?" Cadence continued.
"You don't have a problem with the whole 'Had sex before we even started dating." thing?" Cadence began to wholeheartedly laugh.
"Goodness no," Cadence began once she had stopped. "A little known fact is that there is no such thing as 'love at first sight.' Love takes time to develop. All relationships start with nothing more than an infatuation, or more commonly a desire to 'hit the hay' so to speak. That you began your courting after sex is of little surprise, and I also believe casual sex is important to one's health."
"Wow, I had already realized you were cool, but not this cool."
"Thank you Edith, as Princess of Love I aspire to be well learned in my subject as well as all its nuances. I know more than one-hundred ways to make any male crazy, and my husband is the best test subject I could ask for. But enough about me, I want to hear more about you and Flash!"
"Well, it started at one of my father's parties..."
"Then the bloody thing sat on me! It was the worst nightmare I have ever had! I woke screaming so hard I woke Edith and the people in the room next to us." Shining Armor only nodded in sympathy as Flash gulped down his beer. Once he had drained half the mug, he continued. "Thanks for listening Shining, I needed to get that out."
"No problem, what are friends for?"
"There for foreign vacations and getting rid of wives and girlfriends so we can drink at a pub," Flash said with a raised glass.
"Amen to that, brother!" Shining said as he rose his glass as well. The clinked them together and polished off the rest of the first drink of the day.
"So, a question. Why do call Princess Edith your 'girlfriend'?" Shining asked as the bartender handed him a second drink.
"My wingman, Kenny, came up with it. When I realized I couldn't call her my marefriend he told me that females where he comes from are called 'girls', which is much shorter than 'griffoness'. It's stuck ever since."
"Who is this Kenny guy? I've been kinda out of the loop all the way out here," Shining asked before taking a cautious sip of his drink.
"He's an alien from another dimension who bones Luna," Flash answered without skipping a beat. Shining's hoof was the only reason the sip of alcohol he had taken hadn't drenched the counter.
Shining quickly gulped down and whipped on his comrade. "W-What!? You're joking. You have to be."
"Nope, I also forgot to mention he performs magic. So he is essentially a magical, super-evolved, giant monkey."
"...Fuck, Flash. If it weren't for the shit my sister goes through on a weekly basis I wouldn't have believed you."
"Hardly believed it myself, but he's a real cool bro. He's my best-friend now."
"Aaaw! I thought I was your best-friend!" Shining mockingly moaned.
"You lost best friend status when you got married, moved away, and only sent me a letter once a month, if I was lucky."
"Yeah, that's why when you told me you planned to come here for your vacation, I set all this up with Cadence. We could catch up and hangout like we used to, and Cadence could have some girl talk and get out of the Palace. Seriously, she works way too much. She needs the break."
Flash looked warily out the window. "I hope they're getting along..."
"I'm sure it's fine!"
"Die, Empire scum!" Edith lobbed a clawful of mud at Cadence.
"My armor is to thick for blasters!!"
"Yeah, your right. I shouldn't worry so much."
"And that is why I'm happily married and Prince of a nation."
They clinked mugs together and drank to their health, happiness, and future endeavors.
"Kenneth, what are you doing?" Morgan had come to Kenny's room, Sterling in tow, to borrow a bottle of dragon's blood for a magical immunity elixir. She had found him shoving his glaive into his bag. The process was comical, but Morgan was more focused on the implications of said action.
"I am preparing for a trip across seas and borders as the newly appointed Equestrian Ambassador with Luna as my traveling companion," Kenny said with pride once the glaive had been secured in his enchanted bag. "I will be leaving as soon as Flash Sentry returns. I'm sure you can manage without me here while I'm gone?"
"Kenneth, we have been here less than a week and already you plan to leave me to fend for myself in an alien country?"
"A country full of colorful, friendly, cute ponies might I add. You'll be fine. Just study like you always do. Believe me when I say that you will meet no dangers while you are here. Besides, Celestia told me I'll only be gone for a couple weeks at a time. What did you need?" He knew Morgan would only come to his room if he had something she needed.
"I need a vial of dragon's blood." Kenny whistled into his bag, and a crystal flask filled with the thick red substance hopped out and into the air where he snatched it before it could fall. He lobbed it to Morgan, who deftly caught it with one hand, and Kenny peered around his room with a hand on his chin.
"I think that's all the essentials. Send me a message if you need anything else while I'm gone and I'll be sure to send it over."
"Of course. Have fun on your trip." Morgan moved out of the doorway and began to close the portal.
"I always do." She heard as it shut.
"Anything else Ma'm?" Sterling asked in his robotic drone, having returned to his previous state.
"No, Officer Sterling, I think that is it for today. Come, I need to get back to my room."
Morgan didn't like this at all. She had no doubt that Kenneth would make an excellent Ambassador. He had a natural charm as well a ingrained etiquette, no doubt from the high-class parties he attended as a child. No, it was Kenny's disposition towards flaunting his power and skills. He reveled in the power he had acquired and was fond of showing others the extent of his strength. Morgan knows what such a thing is followed by. It is almost always followed by those who wish to have it. It is why her brethren are forced to keep their powers hidden from the world. When magic had been practiced more openly, people had wanted to learn.
But not all that learned deserved that knowledge.
And not all who want power are of the material plane.
That is why she is so afraid for Kenneth. The nature of his power relies on the cooperation of spirits, constructs born entirely of the natural energies found only during Creation. Morgan knows that Kenneth's natural amiability made working with them easy, but she does not know if Kenneth would be able to resist the temptation that more sinister and malevolent spirits may offer. There were entire tomes listing the dangers of interacting with such things. There were lists of honest mages who had been turned into harbingers of death and destruction. And now Kenneth was leaving where she could keep an eye on him. If she followed, she would arouse suspicion in his significant other, and in doing so she may jeopardize their relationship. She couldn't do that. She knew her worry was illogical, that the Tibetan Monks would have taught Kenneth the greatest in self-discipline so such a thing could not happen.
That he had been assaulted, and successfully repelled, such spirits in the heart of the Black Forest.
Morgan had overheard Kenneth's explanation to Alfred years ago. She had never found the courage to tell Kenneth that she knew why he had sought tutoring to detect and repel such beings. To tell him that she wanted to help him through it, and hopefully find a way to shut such things away from him for good.
Admit that she cared for him in way that scared her.
But she never could, and so he decided that the best way to deal with them was to learn to control them. She watched as he opened himself to the very things that assailed him before. She watched as he dispelled them with little effort after two years of intense training.
She also remembered when, just as she had found the strength to tell him how she truly felt, he announced that he would return back to his second home.
Back to the love he had left behind.
She had felt so stupid after that. All of her knowledge, all of her studies and she didn't notice the way he seemed to constantly pine for something. Something that his birthplace didn't have.
Something Morgan Le Feu couldn't give him.
And now she stayed quiet out of her respect for him and Luna. To harm Kenneth and Luna's relationship by trying to insert herself was something she could not bring herself to do.
She prayed to whatever gods existed that Luna would keep him safe in her stead.
Author's Note
Sorry for the continued lateness. I had a hard time writing these last two chapters, having gone through several different revisions attacking different angles of the same plot point. I'm glad with how it turned out and I would hope you enjoy it as well. Time well spent in my opinion. Either way, I appreciate all your support and wish my readers luck in their own endeavors. Some of them I happen to know are having trouble with some of their own fics, and I just want to extend my best wishes to them as a fellow writer. For the rest of you, have fun in whatever it is that consumes your time! Love you guys!
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Flash stepped out of the Canterlot train station, saddlebags safely strapped to his back and head held high. His vacation had gone well, and Edith had been returned home safely without the fear of reprimand from her father. It had all been great, but it was nice to finally be back home after a week away. He breathed in the familiar air of his home and released it in a long sigh. He took his first step forward onto the paved street.
Then Holly seemingly pounced out of nowhere in front of him, startling the poor pegasus into the air as a result. From his new elevated position he could see that Kenny was with her, dressed in the same simple, short, bland, pale brown and over-all neutral robes he had upon his return. Several travel bags had been strapped to Holly's saddle, including the bag that Flash kept his armor in. Kenny himself carried his enchanted messenger bag over his shoulder.
"Get on, I'll explain on the way." Flash just rolled his eyes. He hadn't been back for more than a minute and already Kenny was dragging him along some crazy endeavor. Knowing that he couldn't refuse, and that if he had his armor then it was something big, Flash settled in front of Kenny on the saddle where he could sit with the least risk of falling off.
"Let's move!" Holly instantly began to sprint forward. Flash held on for dear life as she sped through Canterlot, scaring several residents as they passed. Flash swore he saw a camera flash. Great, He thought, This is gonna be all over the place tomorrow... Holly bobbed and weaved through Canterlot's streets, dodging carts and leaping over stands. Soon Flash saw where she was heading. The airship docks.
It appeared just as he finished the thought. The various, multicolored, balloons and shining hulls were mesmerizing. One new ship caught his attention though. It was a smaller luxury liner, a rich red balloon labeling it as an ambassadorial vessel. It's hull was sparkling and no doubt new. What really caught his attention was its turbine, or rather turbines. Four metallic cylinders poked out of the back of the ship, placed in a delta pattern. He could see the fan blades in the housing, far more than on your average airship. This was really advanced stuff.
Then Flash noticed they were closing in on it.
They were actually going to ride it.
Holly ran down the dock and skidded to a halt in front of the gangplank.
"Permission to come aboard?!" Kenny yelled.
A sea-foam green head with a white, fluffy mane poked out over the railing. "Finally!" The stallion's voice was gruff and scratchy, "Sure took yer' bloody time! Get on up here ya' wankers, we're due to leave in twenty minutes'er so."
Kenny and Flash removed themselves from Holly's back, Kenny affectionately petting her behind her ears. Kenny guided Holly up the narrow gangplank whilst Flash simply flew on board.
Once he landed on the deck, he received a hard slap to the back from the white-maned stallion. "Welcome aboard lad!" The stallion said. "My name's Stormfront, and I'm captain of this here vessel. I imagine yer's is Flash Sentry, the Royal Guard of our dear Ambassador Kenneth Lee?"
"Ambassador?!" Flash almost yelled whipping his head around at Kenny, who was removing the bags from Holly's saddle. Kenny heard this and mouthed 'Later.'
"Well of course! But you still haven't answered my question."
"Yes, I am Warrant Officer Flash Sentry." Flash peeled away from the captain and inspected the deck of the ship. He could see the controls past the windows of the elevated bridge. The vessel was small, the deck itself probably coming out around 50 square meters in all.
"You two should head below deck, we'll be leaving soon enough." Captain Stormfront opened a door in the back of the ship, just below the bridge, revealing a landing with stairs leading both up and down.
"Where do you plan on keeping Holly?" Kenny asked, various bags now hanging off him.
Stormfront walked to and opened a hatch in the center of the deck as he talked. "We've made room for 'er in the cargo hold. It'll be a little cramped, but we've made sure all the necessary creature comforts are available. Now I know I've asked a bunch already, but ar' ya sure she won't be a danger to my crew?"
"Absolutely, just don't get in between her and her food. She gets nasty when she's eating. I've already got her eating kibble so we should be covered, assuming you received the crates."
"They're packed safely out of reach of yer wolf in the cargo hold as well." Kenny led Holly down the hatch in to the cargo hold whilst the Captain led Flash deeper into the deck. A short walk down the stairs and Flash found himself in a room with eight bunks bolted to the walls.
"Seeing as yer a pegasus, I've given you the top bunk right 'ere," The Captain said, pointing out the bunk closest to them on Flash's right. "You can put all your things in this locker." The Captain pointed out one of eight lockers at the far end of the room. "Any questions?"
"No, sir." Flash began to empty his saddlebags into the roomy locker.
"Well all right then! If'n you need anything just find me or Lead Engineer Clockwork."
Flash nodded in affirmative and the captain left to go up to the bridge.
Once he had finished putting away his things, Flash flew over to his bed and landed with a flop on the surprisingly nice mattress.
"I know you don't like it Holly, but it was this or leaving you back at Canterlot. It will only be for a couple days, then you'll have a whole knew set of trees and bushes to sniff and pee on." Kenny comforted the anxious timber-wolf the best he could, she eventually stopped worriedly pacing around the room. A steel-bar door separated her from the rest of the hold. "I'm gonna go now, okay honey? Be good and I'll get you a treat."
Kenny left the cargo hold and went up the stairs at the far end. He walked into the crew's quarter's and found Flash lazily hanging from his bunk bed.
"Care to explain why Captain Stormfront called you 'Ambassador' Kenneth Lee?" Flash asked as he hanged upside down from the bed.
"Princess Celestia has given me the position. In fact, we are heading out to a meeting with the Zebrican Council."
"A human representing Equestria? That must have stirred up some trouble."
"Twenty-three hundred letters of complaint and a protest demonstration in fact."
"What'd you do?"
"Celestia just told them that her decision was final and if they had a problem with it to send her a proper replacement. Did you know that not a single pony has ever kept the job for more than a couple years? I wonder why..."
"I've heard rumors that the Zebrican's make you eat caterpillars."
"That's not too bad. I've eaten candied cockroaches before."
Flash flipped upright, "What?"
"They're a delicacy. Several countries eat them."
"Dude, humans are weird. "
"If eating cockroaches is weird than this voyage is exactly what you need." A new voice entered the fray. Kenny and Flash turned to find a gray coated griffon with white, black speckled feathers at the stairwell. The newcomer didn't hesitate to approach them as he continued. "My name is Frederick Goldbeak, and I will be your cook. As I was saying, Zebrican dishes are perhaps some of the most creative and tasteful I have ever had the pleasure of making. Not only are they delicious, they provide ample levels of nutrition for the body."
Frederick crossed them and opened his locker at the far side of the room, removing a chef's hat and apron. "Mr. Lee, I am to understand that you have brought your own food for the timber-wolf?" He never looked their way as he checked himself in the mirror.
"Yes, a couple hundred pounds of kibble. It should hold over for the whole trip."
"Unacceptable." Flash and Kenny shared a look of confusion, eyebrows raised, as Frederick closed the locker.
"No living thing will be subjected to eat such bland and tasteless fodder. I am glad I had prepared to feed the beast. While your kibble ," He spat the word like it was poison. "Will provide the base, I will doctor it so as to ease the creature's suffering."
"Oh, well, thank you," Kenny awkwardly offered. "I'm sure she'll love it."
"You can never be sure of anything with food, everyone has different tastes." Frederick headed back to the stairwell. "I will see you all when it is dinnertime." With a bow and a flourish of his wings, Frederick left the room.
"Well that was interesting," Flash muttered, giving voice to both of their thoughts.
"Howdy!" Flash and Kenny turned to the back of the room to find a thin, mocha unicorn stallion with a wiry, grey mane and tail standing at the far end of the room. His voice had a clear southern inflection and his coat had several dark stains. "Have y'all seen the engine room yet? She sure is a beaut! I can' wait to get 'er moving! I reckon she 'as a top speed of at least- Hold it! Where are my manners? My name's Engine Block, Engie fer short. I'd take a gander that you two are the ambassador and his guard?"
"That would be correct." Kenny answered, sitting on a bed.
"Well, it's nice ta' meet'cha! I'm the lead engineer for this here wonder of technology!" He grabbed Kenny's hand and shook it fervently. "I can' thank ya enough for all the schematics you delivered. Ya single-'andedly pushed Equestria a decade forward!"
"Wait," Flash asked. "Are you saying that this ship was just built?! "
"Eeyup!" Engie responded. "This will be 'er maiden flight! I'm supposed to oversee this here ship's voyage ta ensure nothing goes wrong, what with me being the only one who understands how it works. Anyway, I'll see ya'll at dinner! I 'ave work to do!" Engie disappeared back through the door in the back of the room, presumably the engine room.
"...You wanna see if they have any alcohol in my room?" Kenny asked.
"Totally."
Luna carefully removed and place her regalia into her travel case, careful not to drop them. Once they were all safe in the velvet plush of the case she closed it and locked it with a combination of advanced Greifland puzzle locks and several protective enchantments. Once her prized possessions were safe, she finally reclined on the plush bed she and Kenny would be sharing during their voyage on the newly christened Harbinger , named so because the scientists involved in the development of the powerful engines believed it to be the first sign of a technological golden age. Engineers had been working for hours designing and developing this schooner, and had cranked out the Harbinger in a little over a week's time. It was really a government issue ship fresh out the shipyards fitted with the far more advanced turbines and engine block, which had been thoroughly tested beforehand.
Luna didn't particularly care.
It fell behind all the other major advancements that had happened in her absence Airships in general still fascinated her, and she was excited to finally riding one. The idea of a faster airship was trumped by the very idea of getting a mass of metal and wood to float without the aid of magic.
They had departed an hour ago, and Luna was hunkering down for the duration of the flight. She had been told these flights would often be long, seeing as they were going to fly over the vast Antrotic Ocean to the east to reach Zebrica. Though, they were also on a brand new, theoretically fast ship. No one knows how the time would be affected.
For the first time since she had come aboard, Luna looked outside to find the sea staring back at her through the porthole. "What in the Goddess's name...?" It would take days of hard flying to reach this point for a pegasus. She had been told these ships are only a little faster than pegasi when fully loaded as they were. How was this possible? To add to her confusion she saw a dark shape fly downward right across her window and out of her sight. She rushed to it, fearing someone had fallen of the boat, and was met with her boyfriend and colleague, Kenny, hitting the water and disappearing under the small waves.
"No!" Luna quickly opened the porthole and squeezed through. Flying straight for the frothing water where Kenny had landed. She hovered over, waiting for Kenny to rise, and grew more worried as time wore on. She began to steel herself for entering the water when a water spout erupted from the ocean waves, engulfing her. She was thrown around in the cyclone of salty water, twisting and turning, the combination of raw shock and the disorienting movement preventing the use of magic as an escape. Before she could even think about breath, suddenly she was sprawled out on the deck. Her head was still swimming and she was to disoriented to even attempt to get up. She felt a hoof poke her side.
"Did anyone get the number on that carriage?" She asked in a loopy voice.
The crew on deck gave a collective sigh of relief, Kenny and Flash included. Luna was now laying on deck within a school of tuna that Kenny had dragged out of the water. The crew had tried to warn her what would happen, but she had been too far and too distracted to hear. Kenny rushed to her side and helped her to her hooves.
"Wha' happen?" Luna slurred out, her still spinning.
"Don't worry about it." Kenny soothed as he carried her bridal style. Motioning to the others to carry on without him. "Let's just get you to your room and I'll get Frederick to make you some hot cocoa."
Whilst Kenny attended to his marefriend, the rest of the crew of assorted species and genders went about collecting the tuna into sacks to be brought to the galley where they would be preserved and stored during the trip. The bulk of it would be put into Holly's meals, the rest was for Frederick, Kenny and one other griffon called Charlie.
Once Kenny had navigated his way back to into the Diplomat's Cabin, the room that as government officials belonged to he and Luna, he laid her recovering form on the bed. Luna had regained her senses by then and was now moaning in pain, her battered body crying out against all forms of movement.
Kenny retrieved his bag and brought it to the bed. He opened the top of the large bag and peered into its depths, eyes searching. When he found the particular item he spoke, "Meds." A smaller case, about a foot across and half as much tall, flew out of the bag and into his arms. It was made of worn, plain cardboard and carried a unique variety of smells. Luna caught a whiff of the pungent odors, ranging from sweet to spicy to even what she was sure was heat. She turned to find him pulling out many small bottles and flasks, peering at their labels before throwing them back into the box.
"What are you doing?" Luna asked weakly. Kenny, too focused on what he was doing, didn't hear her faint words. He found the little green bottle he was looking for and closed up the medicine box. He threw it back into his bag, closed the flap, and lowered it to the ground. He opened the bottle as he hopped on the bed facing Luna's prone form.
"Kenny?"
"Shh, Luna, I need you to stay perfectly still." Kenny uncorked the bottle and ran a couple drops out on his hands. He rubbed them together to spread the oil and went to work, starting with Luna's neck. Luna moaned as he worked his fingers into her neck, the oil working its magic and causing the pain to vanish. He migrated from massaging her neck to kneading her withers. She began to curl up from the sensation, but Kenny put a hand to her neck, wordlessly telling her to keep still. She straightened out again and he continued working out the soreness from her limbs and body. He moved from her withers to her forelegs, paying special attention to her joints. When he began to run out of oil he simply reapplied and continued. She shivered when he massaged her barrel and stomach. Luna began to remember how she had reached this point, but quickly decided that this far outweighed being hit by a watery cyclone.
Before she knew it, Kenny was done and cleaning up his hands.
"That's it?" Luna whimpered. "Not even a hug?"
"What?"
"You hit me with a water spout, give me the best massage I've ever had, and now you're just going to leave?"
Kenny just sat there with a look of bewilderment.
Luna rolled her eyes and locked the cabin door with her magic.
"Males..."
Flash backed away from the door.
"Are you sure Luna won't kill him?" Asked a worried and nervous Engie.
"Oh, I'm more than sure.
Thousand's of miles away, Morgan and Sterling were sitting in the Canterlot Royal Library. Sterling was retrieving books for her to study. Morgan had recently found the old folktale of the Mare in the Moon, and she didn't like what she found. From what she has been able to put together, Luna had fallen to jealous rage and despair. She had turned on her sister and become a demonic entity called Nightmare Moon. It had taken a thousand years banished to the moon and a second encounter with the Elements of Harmony to purge her of the hate that had transformed her.
Replace the terms, 'hate,' 'jealous,' and 'despair' with 'malevolent spirit' and suddenly a very unsettling scenario played out in front of her. Luna, a powerful demigod who the very heavens obeyed, had fallen to this unnamed force, who's to say that they won't attack Kenny? As a shaman, he is a perfect vessel to enact the will of any spirit that can get their hands on him. His proximity to Luna has probably only increased the chances that this force will attack Kenny.
Assuming, of course, that it was a spirit that had plagued Princess Luna.
"Sterling!" Sterling rushed to her side from within the stacks of books.
"Yes, Ma'm?" He said, currently stuck in his stony persona.
"I want you to find and ask Princess Celestia if and when we can meet. I have some questions for her."
"Of course." Sterling ran off to do as he was asked. Meanwhile Morgan continued to search for more answers in the dusty, old tomes. She prayed she was wrong.
Flash and Kenny stood on the deck of the Harbinger , slowly circling one another. It has been two days since they first left Canterlot, the ocean still seeming to expand endlessly on all sides as they flew onward. Regardless, Engie and Captain Stormfront had both spent the last two suppers in awe over the ground they were covering thanks to the new turbines and engines. Now the crew and passengers had collected on deck to watch Flash and Kenny engage in a sparring match. Flash was dressed in his full, golden, Guard's Armor, a spear held in his front hooves. He hovered over the air, planning to use his maneuverability as a pegasus to his advantage. Kenny was wearing his cloak, which he had revealed had chain male woven underneath it. He held a long war glaive, similar to a spear in form, but with a curved blade made for cutting rather than stabbing.
The rules were simple, Kenny couldn't offensively use his powers, the boundaries were the deck, any blow that would've killed is a win, and flight was restricted to a couple feet above the ground. Luna would be the referee. Luna had already declared battle and now they paced the deck, eyes locked on eachother.
The crowd jeered and shouted, an even mixture of supporters for either fighter. They were all waiting for the same thing, someone to make a move. Flash would be the one call first blood. He flew straight at Kenny, spear aimed for his chest. Of course, Kenny easily saw the move coming and stepped out of the way to the right. Flash, in anticipation of the dodge, grinned as he swung his spear to the side and hit Kenny square in the chest with the side of the point. Far from a killing blow, it was enough to make some of the gamblers wish they hadn't put so much money on the big one.
But their fears were unfounded. Kenny, unfazed by the hard blow, had thrust the blunt end of his polearm into Flash's side. The smaller pegasus was easily shoved away, and Kenny followed up with a powerful slicing arc downward. The blade would never reach its mark. Flash was quick to recover and launched himself back at Kenny before the dangerous part of the heavy glaive could hit him. He abandoned his spear in favor of his armored hooves, which solidly impacted with Kenny's chest. Even with his significant size advantage, Kenny was launched by the hit and landed painfully back on the deck. The spectators had barely escaped becoming his landing pad and the circle was now broken.
Kenny wordlessly flipped back upright, sporting a grimace. Flash had returned to his weapon and now floated in the air, spear held out in front of him, the steel head glinting in the light. This time Kenny wasted no time in attacking. He lunged upward and forward, bringing the war glaive straight down onto Flash. Flash, surprised by the speed in which Kenny had covered ground, could only bring his spear up to block the strike and brace for impact.
He watched in horror as the blade sliced straight through the steel coated hard-wood.
Before he knew it, Flash was on the ground, a curved piece of razor sharp steel inches from his face.
"Flash Sentry wins!" Luna's voice rang.
Every head except Kenny's whipped around in confusion.
"Kenny has used magic to aid in his final strike and has forfeited the match as a result," Luna said with a stern face. The crowd of spectators let out a decent mix of whoops and groans, the losers passing bits to the winners.
"What?" Flash asked.
"I cheated you dolt," Kenny said as he removed his weapon from Flash's face. "It was only a little, I had hoped Luna wouldn't notice."
"I have existed for far too long to not have access to spells that detect even the slightest bit of magic. You tried, and failed." Luna's eyes twisted into a glare. "And I am sorely disappointed in you."
"Rule one of combat: hold nothing back," Kenny said as he swung his glaive over his shoulders. "There is no honor or glory just victory or death."
Flash shivered. "That's a grim way of looking at things."
"That's reality. My kind have long since known the price of war. Pray you never see its wonders."
Flash and Luna shared a look of concern as Kenny left them.
"Thank you for seeing me." Morgan and Celestia were enjoying tea in one of the castle's sitting rooms. "I know you have a busy schedule as it is."
"Really, it's no trouble. I am to understand that you have some questions for me?" Celestia sweetly asked before sipping at her cup of tea.
"Yes, I have found multiple texts referring to your sister's downfall." Celestia took on a decidedly more reserved look, her teacup lowering slowly. "In my experience, people who have such transformations like your sisters did not become so on their own. Was your sister possessed by something?"
Celestia refrained from answering, instead looking out a nearby window.
"You are right, Luna did not become Nightmare Moon of her own volition," Celestia began. "She was tormented beforehand by the Nightmare Forces, spirits of fear and turmoil. They convinced her that her subjects shunned her night and fed her growing anger. I failed my sister. I was too wrapped up in caring for Equestria to see that my flesh and blood was suffering so."
A small tear traced a line down Celestia's face. She felt Morgan place a comforting hand on her withers and smiled. She didn't see the look of utter fear that contorted Morgan's features.
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"Excuse me, Sir, but Captain says we will be landing in about twenty minutes." The voice of one of the crew members roused the sleeping forms of Luna and Kenny, wrapped in each others limbs. They groggily disentangled themselves and sat up in the plush bed, Kenny stretching out his muscles and Luna running a spell through her messy hair. Once Kenny was limber and Luna's hair was back to it's starry state, both their eyes snapped open as they remembered the most important part of the morning.
The battle for the bathroom.
Every morning during their trip, Kenny and Luna would begin the day with a squabble involving the W.C. connected to their room. At first, it was Luna's complaints about how Kenny would use up all the hot water available, seeing as she had not adjusted to her new sleep schedule and woke up much later than he did. This motivated her to try much harder to get up in the mornings and beat him to the shower, then spend an hour washing herself. This hour was not spent out of unnecessary pampering, Celestia had a whole three-hour slot in the mornings for her shower, but rather the simple fact that having fur and an incredibly large mane and build made washing a long and difficult process, only made slightly easier with the aid of magic. After she was done, Kenny suddenly found himself without hot water, and had to resort to the risky process of heating it himself.
The first time he tried he scalded himself with the steam he produced. A painful burn had run up his thigh, and it took an entire day to heal with his salves.
For the last couple days every morning started the same. They would both wake up, then one would try to incapacitate the other till one claimed the bathroom as his or her own.
Today it began again.
Without warning, Luna leaped forward off the bed towards the open bathroom door. Kenny grabbed her fetlock as she attempted to get a head-start and brought her back down onto the bed. Whilst pinning her leg, he vaulted himself over her, blowing her a kiss while he passed over her head, and landed on his feet and running for the door. He made it one step forward when he felt the familiar sensation of magic grasping him and he was flung backwards. Luna smiled smugly right up until she felt Kenny grip her neck as he went flying past. Her spell may have broken, but Kenny still had momentum. Luna was pulled back into the headboard alongside Kenny, both of them smashing painfully into the mahogany piece. Surprisingly, it held, and Kenny was the first to recover. He froze the air around one of Luna's hooves, sticking it to the headboard. He knew it wouldn't hold for long, but he thought it would be enough for him to reach the bathroom door. He hopped off the bed as Luna began to come to. She was quick to realize that her hoof was now encased in ice and smashed it with her other hoof. Then she heard the bathroom door click shut.
But it would not be the end.
She teleported into the bathroom and caught Kenny with his pants down. Without a word or look, she teleported him out of the bathroom and back onto the bed. Lastly, she fortified the door with a spell. She had won.
"Good morning, Mganga, it is nice to see you." Luna bowed to the old, greying Zebra. His mane was styled into the traditional mohawk that his tribe wore. Woven into the fibers were countless feathers and beads, no doubt having significant cultural importance. Before she rose, the zebra pulled her into a friendly hug. "I can see that you've gotten no less affectionate since your last visit."
"Ahaha, Princess Luna!" He said in his velvety, deep voice, his laid back accent bringing a new life to the Equish language. He released her from his embrace. "It is nice to see ya'! Ya' mus' tell me about this 'uman I 'ere yer datin'."
Luna blushed a little when he had mentioned Kenny. They were good friends, having met when Luna had first returned to Equestria years prior. The charming and relaxed zebra was one of the first to welcome her home. Now she would see him again at the docks of the trade city, Zzyzx. "Why would I when you can him yourself?" Luna began, "He, as the new ambassador, will be arriving shortly to meet with the chieftains on Equestria's behalf. I am here as his escort and colleague." One of the chieftains nodded to her as he arrived to their meeting place aboard the Harbinger's deck. The rest all milled about on deck, enjoying friendly conversations with their fellow poltical leaders.
"I thought there were rules against consortin' on ta' job." Mganga's voice pulled her attention back to the aging zebra.
"Not for ambassadors, we believe that having a loved one along the way can do wonders for maintaining a civil mindset while abroad. Two minds are better than one, especially when those two minds happen to get along. Now, pardon me for asking, but why are you here Mganga? You have always stayed out of political matters. I believe I remember you saying once that, 'If I want to talk about land rights, I can ask the ground.' A lame jest, but it got the point across."
"Aye, Luna, I am not one fer' all that mumbo-jumbo, I prefer ta' keep ta' my work. No, the spirits have called me 'ere. I am to meet a fellow Spirit Walka', some mon who 'as excelled above all others on this world. Then I 'ear that you were comin' and came to see ya' before he arrived."
"Another Spirit Walker...?" Luna trailed off. Spirit Walkers, if her memory served her, were a special sect of zebras who converse with the spirits of nature to ensure the survival of their tribes. They are very important to Zebrican society as there prayers were vital for a good harvest. In Luna's time, such things were considered heresy, but after years of study by unicorns there claims have been proven true. Now that she thought about it, all this talk of spirits sounded awfully familiar...
"By the goddess's! You can't possibly mean-?!"
"Good morning, ladies and gentlecolts!"
Kenny strode on deck, garbed in a previously unseen set of long, royal purple robes that snugly hugged the form of his upper body, golden embroidery decorating the entirety of the thin silk with swirling images of roaring fires and crashing waves. It opened in a deep V shape from the front, finally coming together with two gilded buttons at his navel, revealing a pristine white blouse underneath with a significant amount of frill poking out. The robe opened up again in a straight, rectangular shape, allowing a modest view of his long legs. Said legs were covered by white trousers, cutoff at the top of the shin by a pair of black boots with a simpler set of gold embroidery at the top edge. To compliment his boots, he wore a pair of matching gloves that cutoff just before the elbow. All in all, he held an expensive and regal air about him. His hair, both facial and otherwise, had been trimmed extensively till he looked every bit the part of some exotic prince.
A low whistle was heard from the crowd of chieftains.
"I apologize for the slight delay, which was due to circumstances beyond my control," Luna caught the sideways glance he gave her and returned it with a smug grin. "I sincerely hope I have not kept you waiting too long, and would like to thank you for your patience and understanding." Luna had to give it to him, he was doing incredibly well; though, she suspected his success was due to his rich and privileged upbringing.
Then Mganga shouted, "Da' Spirit Walka'!" and everyone present suddenly began whispering in their own various tongues as Mganga bowed before a surprised and suddenly much less composed Kenny.
"Uhhh... What?" The other chieftains all gave him looks of curiosity and amazement.
"Are ya not da' mon who has conversed with da' Great Spirits? I am Mganga, the Elder of the Spirit Walka's." Kenny's eyebrows shot up at the mention of Mganga's name.
"I have communicated with the Elementals, yes." The chieftains conversations grew more fervent. One eventually spoke, "Where are you from, ambassador, to know of our sacred practices?"
Mganga answered for him, "He is from another world, both differen' an' alike to our own."
"How do you know this?" Luna asked.
"The Elementals told him," Kenny answered. "Just as they told me that I would meet a zebra shaman named Mganga"
"Can somebody explain what's going on?" All this talk of spirits was out of her league, and was in need of some clarification. Luna, Mganga, and Kenny were all seated at a conference room inside the Ambassadorial Suite at the Ahoofja Palace in Neighgeria. Neighgeria, being the largest and wealthiest of Zebrica's states, was commonly the host for meetings of both the Chieftains Council and Ambassadorial visits.
"Which part?" Kenny answered, "The political meetings over the next week? Or, perhaps, the meeting set for me and your associate by beings of another plane?" He said the last part with a chuckle. Luna glared at him.
"Jokes aside, the spirits 'ave fortold of your arrival, Mr. Lee." Mganga bowed his head in respect, causing Kenny to pull on his collar in discomfort. "They 'ave told us of your skill and knowledge."
"That's great and all, but I'm really far from the best. I've only been able to communicate with the Elementals, I haven't even attempted talking with the dead and the spirits of the celestial bodies." Kenny wasn't lying, Master Hiro could even harbor spirits within him. Kenny was an amateur.
"None of us 'ave been able to communicate with spirits on the level you 'ave. They have told us how you now 'ave their favor, and wield their powa'."
"You mean control of the elements?" Kenny snapped his fingers whilst lighting a small candle flame on his thumb. "It's not much, I only have limited control and my commands cannot go against the will of the Elementals themselves or I risk losing my power." Mganga seemed uninterested in such things, instead admiring in awe the small flame Kenny had conjured.
"You can directly wield the power of the spirits..." Mganga whispered.
Luna just sat awkwardly at the table, unable to bring anything to this conversation. She had always been distrusting of Zebrican 'magic', and even after being shown that what they claimed was true she wasn't sure about it. Kenny had shown her his magnificent control of these four essential elements, she couldn't deny belief in something that was demonstrated in front of her. Now Kenny was practically vouching for Mganga's unique brand of magic.
Luna decided she was done being left out of the conversation."That's all well and good, but can we move on to why all this is important?"
Mganga answered with, "This mon is supposed to be able to teach us how to expand our powers beyond quiet prayers and wishes. He can control the elements directly, a skill none of our Spirit Walka's can do."
"Prayers and Wishes?" Kenny asked.
"Our power is to leave our bodies and ask the spirits for gifts of rain and protection from natural disaster. The wisest of our order can ask for their power to aid in the healin' o've the sick and wounded."
"Man, that blows." Kenny shrugged, "Well if you insist, I guess I'll teach you what I know, but it'll have to wait until I'm done with my Ambassadorial duties."
"Of course," Mganga said as he rose from his seat. He bowed before continuing. "I thank ya' on behalf of all of Zebrica's Spirit Walka's." He left the room and Kenny leaned back in his chair with a long whistle.
"Heavy." He said with a grimace.
"Are you sure about this Kenny?" Luna asked. "If your not up to it I'm sure Mganga would under-"
"I have to," Kenny cut her off. "The spirits told me about this on our way here. I've already agreed."
"Then why do you seem so unhappy?"
"Because I'm afraid I'll screw up. I've never taught anyone anything. I'm just as likely to teach one of them how to blow up as much as teach them how to control water."
Flash spoke up from the door,"Well maybe I could help! You can start by trying to teach me, and we'll refine your methods for when your doing the real thing!"
"When did you get out of the shower?" Kenny asked.
"About five minutes ago. So, what do you think?"
Luna shook her head. This wouldn't work if the subject couldn't use magic.
"That's a great idea!" Luna gave her boyfriend a look of disbelief. "Get ready and meet me out back, okay?"
"Yes sir!" Flash said with a salute. He left to get his armor from his stuff in the room next to Kenny and Luna.
"Kenny, you do realize that pegasi can't use magic right?" Luna asked.
"This isn't like unicorn magic. It's a field of magic that anyone can master, should they be disciplined and properly trained. Don't worry Luna, worst comes to worst I'll just tell Mganga that I'll teach him when I can pull my act together."
"If you say so..."
"Alright, so the first part of shamanism is respect and civility with spirits." Flash listened intently in the hot Zebrican sun as Kenny paced in front of him. They were in an exquisite garden filled with all of Zebrica's most interesting flora. Holly slept a little ways off in the shade of a baobab tree. "I will summon a lesser spirit, and I want you to try and communicate with it."
Kenny stopped moving and sat down right in front of Flash. He placed a single hand on the ground and muttered a few words. When he lifted his hand a small creature made up entirely of pebbles formed itself. It stood a couple inches high and the small pebbles of its body swirled around a larger pebble that encompassed the center of its mass. One solitary pebble at the top sported two glowing green eyes.
"Hi, little guy!" Flash said with a smile. The pebble monster's eyes suddenly crossed in anger and its pebble body shook in anger. The spinning stones suddenly launched relentlessly at Flash. He covered his eyes as the whistling stones impacted painfully with his skin. He cried out in pain each time a stone hit an unarmored part of his body. Once the spirit had been satisfied with the beating it promptly disappeared into the ground.
"Amateur mistake, you judged the spirit on its size," Kenny chided, "Just because it is small doesn't mean it likes being coddled. Spirits of the elements are prideful by nature, if you expect to get anywhere with them you have to appeal to their self-worth. Any manner of belittling them, now matter how harmless, will only get you in trouble."
"Couldn't have told me that before it pelted me with rocks?"
"Sorry, I'll keep that in mind."
Kenny summoned a wind spirit, a small dust devil with yellow that glowed from the depths of the tiny cyclone. Flash nervously gulped before speaking, "Hi, uh, spirit?" He tentatively offered, unsure how to address the dust devil without pissing it off.
Hello, young pegasus. Flash's eyes widened when he heard a deep masculine voice emanate from the creature. It just looked up at him, speaking not another word.
Flash decided not to dwindle on how such a tiny creature could have such a deep voice. "What do I do now?" He whispered to Kenny.
It is often considered rude to someone a spirit without reason. Flash quickly returned his focus to the dust devil before it sandblasted him or something. But I will forgive your transgression, seeing as you are still a novice in such matters. If you want to increase your power, I will need something in return.
"Okay, so what do you want?"
Usually I would ask that you give me a physical form in which I can experience this world, but the human has done so already. I am at a lost as to what I could want now.
"Well, what if I kinda kept you around? I figure you can't be a dust devil forever, so what if I just brought you back whenever you wanted?" The spirit's yellow eyes widened at the suggestion.
I like this offer. I accept, but now I am weary and will rest. Enjoy your new power, pegasus. The tiny spirit suddenly leaped into Flash, vanishing into his chest.
"What just happened?" Flash meekly asked as he inspected the spot the wind spirit had penetrated him. He felt a surge of electricity flow through him from the spot, weak but noticeable.
"Lucky bastard!" Kenny said, standing with a stupid grin on his face. "I didn't realize the spirits here were so neglected. Here let me see what you got." Kenny put a hand to Flash's head and closed his eyes. He stood there for a while and felt through Flash's spirit.
"Weird," Kenny muttered.
"What? Whats weird?" Flash hurriedly asked, there was a noticeable hint of hysteria in his voice.
"There is way too much power here for a minor spirit to be able to grant." Kenny released Flash, opening his eyes and using them to instead fix Flash with a serious stare. "Either you've done this before, or you were born with some degree of magical power. I'm willing to bet the latter."
"Really?" Flash said with awe. He raised his hooves to inspect them, as if they could hold the answer.
"Either way, we should focus on training what you have now. Now, the wind is all about movement. It is constantly flowing and changing. It is flexible and carefree. In order to gain mastery of it you must become the wind. Do you feel that sense of anxiety? A desire, no, need to move? That is caused by the wind's presence within you. Let it go, let it encompass your being and enter your body."
Flash breathed in deeply, closing his eyes. Pegasi had a natural need for movement, they were a much more physical and athletic breed than their unicorn and earth pony cousins. He grasped onto it and did the first thing that came to mind.
Liftoff.
When Flash opened his eyes he was hundreds of feet in the air, bordering on a thousand. If his memory served him, he had only flapped once. That one little action had awakened another feeling in him, however, a sense of urgency. He found himself asking why he had stopped.
I don't know, He thought.
Without another thought, he angled himself down and flapped again. This time he felt it. He felt his wings scoop the very air up into a compact ball and release it behind him. The force generated was far more than ever before. He shot like a bullet back to earth. When he felt himself near the ground he flapped once to slow down. He managed to just barely slow his descent enough to impact the ground without hurting anything. He stood on wobbly legs, his entire body flushed with adrenaline. He felt amazing, like he could take on a bear and a manticore.
"That's weird..." Usually such a statement would terrify Flash, but he was to absorbed in his new abilities. "I wonder if the spirit intended for it to affect your flight so much."
"Whatever! That spirit made me feel like a new colt! I bet I could fly to the ends of the Earth and back!" Kenny could tell he meant it too. He looked like he was about to try right then and there.
"Let's not get too hasty now," Kenny said, laying a hand on Flash's shoulders. "I think that's enough for today, and I have a meeting soon. I would show you some movements to help you guide the magic through your body, but what I know doesn't translate well to quadrupeds. For now I want you to focus on finding more subtle ways of letting the magic out. Do it slowly and carefully. There are aspects of your power you have not touched, and the last thing I want to here is that you electrocuted yourself." Flash was suddenly much less enthusiastic. As a pegasus, he had been zapped by lightning a couple times. It was not fun.
"While I agree with Twinga on the subject, I am sad to say that our time for today is up. We will continue tomorrow at six'o clock sharp, unless there are any objections?" The speaker was Kiongozi, elected king of Zebrica and leader of Neighgeria. He was also one of the three Zebra chiefs, each representing one of the separate tribes of zebras. Along with with the zebras, there were two giraffe tribes, four antelope tribes, and one hyena. The Zebra's were the most powerful of the tribes due to sheer size of Kiongozi's tribe, the Mwanariadha. Zebrica, it would seem, was very democratic. The chiefs made up a council of representatives and had decided early on that the weight of votes depended on a tribes population. This system had worked thus far, for while the Mwanariadha were the largest tribe, they were still a small fraction of the entire population of Zebrica.
Luna was glad to see that Kenny was holding up in the first meeting. He had been confronted mostly by talk of tariffs on trade goods being exported to Equestria. Zebrica had experienced a particularly large harvest this year and found themselves with a surplus of produce. The Council agreed that the best option would be to sell the produce in Equestria, but the trip across the sea was dangerous for the less advanced Zebrican ships. Twinga, one of the giraffe chiefs, believed that a lowered tariff on Zebrican produce would convince Equestrian merchants to transport the goods themselves. She had been eager for an answer.
Kenny had responded admirably. He neither accepted nor rejected Twinga's proposal, instead simply stating that he will speak with Celestia about upon his return. He made no promises beyond this one. Twinga had then asked if Luna could send a letter to Celestia directly for a quicker exchange. Luna had ascertained that she could not. Kenny then offered, since Twinga was eager to have a real answer, to consult the spirits on carrying a letter to Celestia on the trade winds. This had sparked a brand new conversation, concerning Kenny and his supposed alignment with Zebrica's own shamans, or as they were commonly called, Spirit Walkers. Twinga had just mentioned that on Kenny should travel across the expanse of Zebrica to learn from as manu others as possible, as well as spread his own techniques.
"Now," Kiongzi began, "As per tradition, a feast will be held in celebration of our guests from both near." He gestured to the other chiefs who smiled in response, "And far." He pointed to Luna and Kenny. "So now let us go to the dining room."
Everyone rose from their seats around the table and left the conference room. Luna and Kenny following behind the crowd. They traveled through the palace until they came to a large and extravagant room that contained a single long table with plenty of settings for those present along its length. Kiongzi took his place at the far end of the table and motioned for the others to join him. Once everyone was seated, Luna and Kenny were opposite eachother at the other end from Kiongzi, the wizened zebra clopped his hooves together.
Servants filed out and carefully placed appetizers in front of everyone. The dish served was one that caused Luna's stomach to churn. On her plate, garnished wondrously with a red sauce, were three large caterpillars. It was at least cooked, as could be seen by the light amount of steam rising from the bug carcasses, but despite its enticing smell and that everyone else thanked Kiongzi for the appetizer choice she found her appetite stalled for a completely different reason. She looked up to find Kenny popping one into his mouth and chewing merrily. When he caught her look he whispered, "What? It's good."
She gazed around the table to find everyone else was enjoying the dish. She stopped when she noticed that Kiongzi was staring at her with an unreadable look on his face. She nervously smiled back and returned her gaze to her food. She couldn't possibly refuse it, that would be an insult to her host. She willed herself to be strong and quickly levitated one into her mouth. Initially, all she could taste was the spicy red pepper sauce, but once she bit in a new flavor unlike anything she had tasted before washed over mouth from the juicy caterpillar. It was not horrific as she expected but she could list better things. Once she realized that she could actually stomach the bugs, she finished off the other two before a servant came and whisked the plate away.
"Not too bad, huh?" She heard Kenny say from across the way.
"No, it was much better than I expected. Still, I can't place the flavor though..." Kenny thought it wise to say he thought it tasted just like a chicken kebab.
The next dish was an okra soup, a staple in this country.
Then came the main course.
It all came on covered platters. Luna's was a delicious looking plate of heavily spiced vegetables native to Zebrica served on a bed of wild rice. She looked up to see what Kenny got.
She saw him drooling over a rack of ribs.
Luna fainted.
Author's Note
Don't Forget to comment! I read them all!
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Author's Note
We're gonna shift away from Kenny and Luna to focus on Morgan Le Feu for some much needed character development. Please comment and like! Hope you guys enjoy!
Morgan
Morgan collected her things and transported them to a pocket dimension she had made exclusively for storage. Once all items of import were carefully stored away. She was now packed and ready for her trip. Earlier that week, Celestia had mentioned that Morgan could perhaps get more research done if she joined forces with her student, Twilight Sparkle. Morgan agreed, Celestia had shared many stories with Morgan on the feats and skills of Twilight. Morgan was eager to meet the newly anointed alicorn prodigy.
"Sterling?" Morgan called.
"Yes, Ma'm?" Sterling was front and center in a moment's notice. His dedication brought a smile to her face.
"As you know, I will be leaving today for Ponyville to meet Princess Twilight Sparkle. Are you going to accompany me?"
"Yes, Ma'm." Morgan had expected this. Sterling had never fully explained what his job entailed. She had no issues with him coming along, seeing as he was served an incredibly useful assistant.
"Very well. We depart immediately." Morgan left the empty room with Sterling Saber close behind. They left the castle and headed straight for the train station. However, once outside and on the streets of Canterlot, Morgan quickly noticed that she was drawing stares as she navigated Canterlot with Celestia's helpful directions. Wherever she went, nobles' and commoners' alike heads would turn to follow her. Several groups would whisper among themselves. Morgan grew worried about what they were talking about. Had she done something wrong? Was she not welcome? Kenny had told her about a group of ponies that had opposed his presence in Equestria, but he had assured her they were no threat. Too bothered by the whispers, she discreetly caste a spell to allow her to eavesdrop on them.
"Is that another one?"
"Look at its hair."
"This one is different than the other, ohh, what is it they call themselves?"
"It is much prettier than the other one."
"It doesn't seem to ride a giant timber wolf, so that's a bonus. That thing is terrifying." Morgan giggled a little when she heard that. Most of the whispers were like this, mere observations, curious questions and statements of opinions. They were generally kinder than Morgan had feared.
"Does it use magic like the other one?"
"Oh, great. Another ape has infiltrated the castle." Morgan's mood was affected little by this jab. Not when so many more seemed to support her.
"I wonder if it models?" This one had a distinctly German accent, confusing Morgan.
"Where did it get that dress? It looks divine!"
"Is it male or female?"
Once Morgan was reassured she had not started a riot with her presence she removed the spell and placed her focus back on finding the train station. However, she quickly realized that she was lost. She had been so distracted by the conversations around her that she had inadvertently taken a wrong turn and ended up heaven knows where. She looked around for somebody to ask directions and found a mare relaxing at a cafe table with a book.
Morgan approached her and said, "Excuse me, Miss?"
The mare jumped from her seat when she heard Morgan's voice. She jumped again when she saw who was speaking. Morgan had to work hard to refrain from laughing. "Oh, you give me a turn!" The mare said, her voice tinged by an accent Morgan placed in the United Kingdoms, but from which kingdom she knew not. "My heart jumped right out my barrel!" She continued. "Wait, you're one of them hoo-mans up in the castle aint'cha? Why I heard rumors of another one running around over there, but I didn't think once that I would meet it myself! Ooooo! This is so exciting! Tell me, are you a mare or a stallion? The other one said he was male, but you don't quite look like him now don't cha?"
"I'm a female human, yes," Morgan said and continued by asking, "I was wondering if you could-"
"Now what are these?" The mare had a hoof to her chin and was eyeing Morgan's chest, which were safely covered by her white blouse. The mare suddenly placed her other hoof on one of Morgan's breasts, shoving her hoof into it. Morgan furiously blushed and leaped back. Sterling was in front of her in a second, glaring at the mare.
The mare sheepishly smiled. "Sorry," she said, "Sometimes I get ahead of myself. I apologize if I made you uncomfortable young lady. You are young right?" Morgan nodded. "So, what is it you need from me?"
"I just need some directions to the train station," Morgan meekly asked, suspiciously eyeing the mare. Silver never relaxed, still looking as if he was about to pounce on the mare.
"Is that all? Just go down to that end of the street and make a right, then you take the third left and your there."
"T-thank you." Morgan slowly walked away. Sterling followed, never taking his eyes of the mare. Morgan took one more look back to find the mare waving as she turned the corner. Morgan hoped that she wasn't the norm and moved on.
She followed the strange mares directions and quickly found the train station. She gave her ticket to the bewildered conductor and took her seat in a luxury car with several other richer looking ponies. They all went into quiet whispers when she and Sterling walked in. Morgan took no mind and simply took her seat. Sterling sat next to her, as stiff and hard-faced as ever.
The trip was relatively quiet. Morgan would smile and wave to a couple of the ponies in the car and giggle when the shyly waved back. Morgan eventually dozed off under the watchful eye of Sterling Saber. Once the young woman had fallen asleep, a stallion gathered the courage to say something.
"Excuse me, Sir?" The richly clothed stallion asked. Sterling locked eyes with the stallion as a show of acknowledgement. The stallion gulped underneath the stony gaze of the guard before continuing, "If I may ask, I was wondering if you could share some things about your charge."
He immediately responded,"Any questions you have about Miss Morgan le Feu are to be brought to her. I have no right to share information she has not willingly shared to the public already." His tone carried no malice or reprimand. It was completely devoid of any emotion. The effect was frightening to the stallion and he quietly nodded before deciding not to press matters.
Sterling roused Morgan's sleeping form when they reached the Ponyville station. She sleepily stretched out her lithe body before rising to her feet and leaving the train car. They walked out onto the mostly empty platform, the few ponies present giving them shocked stares. Morgan eagerly waved a friendly hello at those present, eliciting nervous smiles from the sparse crowd waiting at the station She walked through the station, drawing more stares from the staff, and out onto the dirt road leading into Ponyville proper. She opened up a map of the town she had gotten from inside the station. Once she had affirmed that she had the right direction, Morgan set off for the Golden Oaks Library.
"Hurry, Spike! She'll be here any minute!" Twilight dashed around the library, insuring that everything was spic and span for when her guest arrived. Spike hurriedly dusted off the less visited of the library's large collection of books. She had received the letter from Celestia informing her that a new, yet-to-be-announced human had decided to visit only that morning. Immediately, she and Spike went about cleaning the library from her latest late-night study session. They were almost finished. The used papers were thrown away, the books were returned to their shelves and her desk was reorganized. Now they were just doing a general tidy up so that the library looked its best for its foreign visitor.
As Twilight double-checked that everything was in place, a hard knock emanated from the door. "Its here!" She harshly whispered to Spike, urging him to finish. With a few more sweeps with his feather duster the shelves had reached an adequate level of cleanliness he hopped off the ladder and rushed to the door. Twilight triple-checked that she was presentable and turned to the door with a wide smile. Once Spike saw she was ready he opened the door.
"Welcome to the Golden Oaks Library!" Twilight cheerfully greeted with her eyes serenely shut as to instill an air of confidence and refinement.
"Well, darn Twilight," Came the drawl of a very familiar voice. "Iffin you keep this up, I won't be able to stay away." Twilight's brain came to a crashing halt when she opened her eyes to find that the visitor was not the human but Applejack's older brother, Big Mac. "You, don't have ta go all this way to make me feel welcome." Twilight rolled her eyes. Since Applebloom was getting older and taking on more responsibilities at the farm, Big Mac was having more free time to do what he wants. Usually he would go out with his marefriend, Cheerilee, but it wasn't unheard of for him to visit Golden Oaks and check out a book or two.
"Ha, ha, Big Mac, very charming. I'll have you know I have an important guest coming today." Big Mac nodded as she spoke, entering the library and putting some books in the Check-In bin. "I thought you were the aforementioned guest at my door, who should be here any moment." Big Mac grunted, his attention on the shelves of fiction. Twilight rolled her eyes and went to her desk to checked in Big Mac's books.
Big Mac perused through the shelves for another book to read. He pulled a book out and asked, "It wouldn' happen to have anythin' to do with the party Pinkie's havin' would it?"
"Party?" Twilight asked, walking up to him. "What Party?"
Big Mac returned the book to the shelf. "Pinkie is holdin' another one of her 'Welcome to Ponyville' parties right now at Sugarcube Corner. I heard the guest of honor is a real sight to see. I was thinkin' I'd head over myself a little later."
Now that Twilight thought about it, Pinkie had dropped off an invitation to a party a couple minutes ago, but she had been to wrapped in preparations to take a look at it. She left Big Mac to his business and levitated the invitation to herself. She opened the envelope, releasing a spray of confetti and pulled out the actual letter. She read a couple lines in and dropped the letter.
"SPIKE!!! Take care of Big Mac while I'm gone!" She yelled as she rushed out the door. She sped out the library and headed immediately to Sugarcube Corner. It wasn't long before she began to hear the sounds of party-goers. She reached the pastry-shop's entrance and quickly jumped inside. She was immediately assaulted by the sights and sounds of one of Pinkie's patented parties. Everyone inside crowded around a table towards the back, the mass of ponies preventing Twilight from seeing what it was. She squeezed her way through the crowd until she saw what exactly she was afraid of.
Sitting at the table was Morgan Le Feu being served cupcake after cupcake by Pinkie Pie. She would take the colorful confection, take a bite, and offer a couple words about the flavor. Pinkie would listen to her opinion with apparent glee then quickly give her another. Twilight contemplated stopping this whole charade but stopped when she noticed that Morgan did indeed seem like she was having fun. Twilight instead joined the rest of the crowd in watching the interesting display.
"I advise that you stand back, citizens, or I will be forced to remove you." Twilight suddenly found herself being pushed back by a previously unseen Royal Guard. He locked eyes with her and his stony features suddenly took on a look of surprise. The guard immediately bent a foreleg into a deep bow. "Forgive me, Princess Twilight," the guard sternly spoke to a now very self-conscious Twilight Sparkle, "I did not see you there."
"Oh great! You made it Twilight!" Pinkie dragged Twilight out from the crowd and into the center with Morgan and herself. The guard rose to his feet and stood at attention in front of Twilight. "I want you to meet somebody!" Pinkie continued, "This is Morgan Le Feu, she's a human just like that Kenny guy who's dating Luna, isn't that so cool!"
"Hello, sorry that I wasn't able to greet you earlier." Twilight presented her hoof in friendly offer to shake. She breathed out a sigh of relief when Morgan happily shook her hoof.
"No worries, Princess, I was just on my way to your home when this cutie pie dragged me off to a party." Morgan gestured to a blushing Pinkie.
"Awww~ Isn't she just the sweetest!" Pinkie said while pulling Morgan into a hug. "She's going to fit right in around here!"
"It's great to see you making friends." Twilight beamed at the human as she cuddled with Pinkie.
"Well as you can see," Morgan said with a cheeky smile, "I'm quite popular with the locals."
"Well, as you can probably guess, I'm Twilight Sparkle."
"And I'm Morgan Le Feu."
"The Fire?" Twilight asked a little confused as to the meaning of Morgan's surname.
"You know French?" Morgan asked.
"French? Here it's Prench, and I learned a little when I was still in school." The crowd began to disperse, the novelty of the human was vanishing, and they wanted to enjoy some of Pinkie's cupcakes themselves.
"Prench?" Morgan leaned in. Twilight mimicked her.
"From Prance. It's the capital of an earth pony province over in Greifland."
"The land of the Gryphons?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"The name seems to be based off the German language, back where I come from."
"Hold on," Twilight said. She quickly summoned a quill and paper to her from the library. "So, tell me-"
"Sorry, could you give me a second?" Morgan pulled her notebook and pen from her storage space. "Okay, you can continue."
They proceeded to ask eachother all kinds of questions concerning any matter that came to mind. They would record every detail, eventually enchanting their items to record the exchange on their own so as to focus more on the conversation. Every now and then another pony would come up to ask a couple questions of their own, and Morgan would be glad to answer them. Soon it became apparent what was going on to the rest of the guests at the party. It would seem to them that they had a new bookworm living in Golden Oaks.
"And this is Applejack!" The cow-mare tipped her hat to Morgan when Twilight pointed her out the five mares currently amassed in the library.
"Howdy there, Morgan," Applejack cheerfully greeted.
"It is nice to meet you, Applejack." Morgan shook her hoof with a wide smile. "I have heard a lot about you six. Things like saving the world on a regular occasion?"
"Oh, I don't know about the whole world , darling," Rarity piped up, "Closer to a nation or two perhaps per incident."
"And we kicked bad-guy butt every time!" Rainbow Dash proudly declared, striking a pose mid-air. Morgan giggled and Rainbow quickly asked, "What's so funny?"
"You're all just so adorable!" Morgan squealed and an incredibly girlish voice. There were a plethora of mixed reactions. Pinkie giggled, Twilight and Applejack blushed, Rarity and Rainbow Dash both took on looks of indignation, and Fluttershy squeaked before vanishing behind Twilight.
"I am not adorable! I'm awesome!" Rainbow Dash angrily affirmed.
"I like to think I'm more fabulous than adorable, thank you." Rarity was no less firm in her declaration.
"And yet you act more adorably every second!" Morgan was almost crying in mirth as the two mares huffed and puffed over her words.
"Ahhh, Don't be like that," Morgan continued, "If it makes you feel better I think all of you the ponies I've met are adorable. Even Sterling over there." They all followed her finger to the stoic guard in the corner. He made no move, continuing his duty with nary a twitch or expression.
"You think Stone Face over there is adorable?" Rainbow Dash asked in disbelief. A cacophony of "Rainbow!"s rang out from her friends and a "I'll have you know my uncle's name is Stone Face, and he is very expressive!" from Pinkie. The mares looked over to the guard to see that he has not moved or reacted at all to the insensitive comment.
"My point still stands," Rainbow said.
Morgan chuckled a little before saying, "He may seem hard as a rock now, but believe me when I say he's really a big softy at heart." She turned to the stony guard and continued saying, "Isn't that right Sterling, sweetheart?"
All the girls gave quiet gasps when they saw the normally solemn guard give a very visible blush and scrape the ground in embarrassment. "I d-don't know what you're talking about." His nervous stutter and suddenly embarrassed tone said otherwise.
Morgan decided deal her final blow. "Remember that time when you caught me naked in the shower?"
"That was an accident and you know it!" Sterling suddenly yelled, stomping forward and eliciting loud cries from all the mares. "You're never gonna let me live that down are you? One time, Morgan, One Fucking Time! " Fluttershy fainted.
Sterling angrily locked eyes with the smug woman. The he suddenly took on a look of defeat and resignation. He muttered, "Dammit..." and returned to his spot.
"What just happened?" Twilight asked.
Surprisingly, Sterling responded, "Over the past week, Morgan has aspired to make me more open and amiable. She attempts this by purposefully poking at parts of my psyche that break my guard mindset. What you all just witnessed was her most recent attempt."
"And my most recent success." Morgan deftly dodged a book thrown by the angry pegasus.
"I don't think that's very nice," Twilight commented, "Friends don't rile eachother up like that."
Morgan caught the note of disapproval in Twilight's voice. "If I didn't, he would sit in his little corner and act like he doesn't exist for our entire time in Ponyville. If their is one thing that Alfred taught me, is that you have to leave your comfort zone and make friends."
Morgan turned to Sterling and said, "Sterling, while I can understand your reasons for your guard mentality, I cannot condone how you shut out others. I have seen you when you are off duty, you never go out with your other guards or meet with friends. You don't even have a marefriend. You've let this take over every other aspect of your life. Admit it, you rarely stop being the 'guard' for anything. When was the last time you visited your parents or went on a date? Do you do anything besides guard me?"
Sterling's slowly shifted from anger back to the stony expression he usually wears. Morgan slapped him, to the shock of everyone present. Seeing that this has turned into something else entirely, Twilight urged everyone to go outside. They complied and discreetly left the library.
When Morgan saw him try and recede into his 'guard mode' again she delivered another hard smack to the side of his face. "No you don't," She growled, "You are going to face this like a man, Sterling. You can't keep locking yourself up every time someone makes you uncomfortable. Remember when we first met? Remember how much better it felt to talk to me about what happened back when you were a kid?" Sterling began to squirm under her gaze. "Clearly, something else is wrong. What haven't you told me Sterling? Why do you shut others out?"
"Because I'm a mare!"
Morgan only had a look of momentary surprise before saying, "While that is a surprise, Sterling, I don't see the problem."
Sterling took on a similar look of surprise. "That's it? You have nothing else to say about me being a mare?"
"Well, no, but I have to say you put on a very convincing male. I could have sworn I called you a stallion a couple times though, why didn't you speak up?"
"It's a long story," Sterling shyly responded.
"Listen," Morgan said as she pulled Sterling into a hug. "I am your best friend as far as I'm aware of. You can talk to me about anything." She released Sterling, still holding the golden armored mare by the shoulders. "Now tell me what this is all about."
Sterling meekly nodded and said, "When I was little, I was different from the other fillies. I didn't like dresses and dolls, I wanted to fight and eat mud with the colts. As I got older it got worse. All the girls made fun of me and how I looked and acted like a colt more than a mare. It got worse when all my colt friends wouldn't talk to me anymore. They said that I mares should do mare things, and that I couldn't hang out with them anymore. They abandoned me. The only people who supported who I was were my parents. Eventually, I just began shutting everyone out. I ignored everyone and just did what I wanted to anyway. I joined the karate club to help release some pent up anger, and one day I saw an elementary colt getting picked on by some freshmen from my school. I used the karate I learned to kick their sorry flanks to the curb. I told them to leave the kid alone, and when I turned around for the first time in forever I saw someone look at me with admiration." Sterling smiled sadly at the memory. "Then he said something that stuck with me to this day. Can you guess?" Morgan shook her head. "I didn't think so, cause I sure as hell didn't expect it. He said, 'Thanks Mister!' in the sweetest voice." Tears began to well up in her eyes. "'I bet you'll be a guard when you grow up!' He went on. He was so sure I was a colt, and I didn't have the heart to correct him. He asked me to walk him home. His parents invited me in for dinner and they thought I was a colt too. I was so shocked by all this, that I never noticed that I had gotten my cutie mark. It was then that I realized he was right."
"That you would grow up to be a guard?" Morgan guessed.
"No, that I was a better colt than a filly." Tears began to fall from her face. "Little did I know I would get an opportunity to try it out. My dad got a new better job in Canterlot, so I changed schools. When I got there, I dropped all pretenses that I was a mare. It was easy, everyone I met thought that I was a colt, even the teachers. Soon I could hang out with the other colts and join the hoofball team. Life was so much easier as a colt. I never let my parents know what I was doing. For three years, no one new who I really was, but of course I didn't anticipate one thing. My heat cycle." Sterling suddenly took on a look of depression.
"When my first heat kicked in, I was torn. If I couldn't find a way to cover it up, everyone would find out I was really a mare and reject me again. So I convinced my parents that I needed birth control pills. When they asked why I told them that I had met a stallion and didn't want to take any risks. They congratulated me on my forethought and told me they wanted to meet this stallion. It hurt so much to lie to them like that, especially when they were so supportive of how I was for so long. I got the pills, and things went on. Right up until a teammate of mine found them in my locker. Everything fell apart then. I was kicked off the team, lost all my friends, and even got suspended. It was even worse then before." Sterling began to sob. "E-Even my parents couldn't believe what I had done. For years I had lied to them, keeping this big secret from them the whole time. It g-got so bad, I nearly considered ending it all. Then I remembered that young colt. I ran away from home back to Vanhoover to see him again. I found him walking home and he instantly recognized me. I told him then and there that I was a mare. I needed to see how he would react."
Sterling put on the first smile in a while. "He said he didn't care." She spoke through her quiet sobs. "He said that all that mattered to him was that I saved him from a couple bullies and that I inspired him to stand up for others like I did. He said that I was the best that ever happened to him, that being a mare hadn't changed his perspective on me. I was so happy, I kissed him. I thanked him and went back home. I enlisted in training, and became the first female guard in close to a century. But, old habits die hard. To this day, everyone of my fellow guards thinks I'm a stallion. I refused to let what happened in school affect me again, and never bothered correcting them or interacting with them. I just focused on being the best guard I could be. Soon, it became like an armor. When I was a guard, no pony could tell my gender. They respected me and, in some cases, admired me. It isn't perfect, I now struggle with a horrific loneliness, but it is something."
Sterling looked up into the equally teary eyes of Morgan. "Then you came along."
Morgan began to cry and pulled Sterling Saber into bone-crushing hug. Sterling returned it in full force. They sat there and cried into each other.
"Rainbow Dash, are you crying?" Rarity's sniffly, snooty voice said.
"N-NO!" Rainbow Dash's equally sniffly voice cried.
"Give 'er a rest Rares, the rest of us aren't much better." Morgan and Sterling stopped hugging to see that the six mares were back again. They were all equally affected as the first two, tears ran down their faces from their slightly swollen red eyes. Fluttershy was the worse, and was in fact still sobbing a little. Fluttershy quickly flew over and hugged them both harder than any mare her size had the right to.
"T-That was b-bBEAUTIFUL!!!!" Fluttershy managed to push out before crying even harder than anyone else had. Soon it got the other two crying and the other five mares crying as well. They all got into a collective crying group, until Spike walked in and asked if someone had died while he was out getting groceries for dinner that night.
"Well today was interesting," Morgan said as she snuggled into bed, the sleeping form of Sterling, sans the armor she seemed to always wear, curled up in a little ball next to her.
"I should say so," Twilight responded. "Morgan?"
"Yes, Twilight?"
"Your a great friend. I thought you should know that." Twilight turned off the lights in the guest room and went to her own bedroom upstairs.
Morgan slept peacefully for the first time in weeks, untouched by the nightmares of Kenny's demise.
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
"So," Rarity began asking Sterling as Morgan and Rarity's other five friends enjoyed a brunch together at Applejack's house the morning after. "There were a couple things about your story that I had some questions about."
"Like what?" Sterling brusquely responded, not even looking up from her apple cobbler. She had removed her armor, and they could see her pale silver coat and her short, off-white mane, which she had pulled into a lazy ponytail. Her cobalt blue eyes fixed Rarity with a stare that said, 'Word your next words carefully or I'll shove that horn where the sun don't shine.'
"Well, like why you were suspended for pretending to be a colt." Rarity carefully worded her questions so she didn't draw the ire of the incredibly muscular mare. Applejack looked petite in comparison. "It wasn't like you forged documents or anything of that sort right?"
Sterling released a booming laugh when she heard what Rarity said, drawing the attention of everyone at the table. "Goddess, no!" Sterling cheerfully explained. "Think about it. For three years I was on the Canterlot High hoofball team. For three years no one noticed I was a girl. What is one thing I must have done to avoid suspicion?" Everyone at the table began to think over what Sterling had said.
"I can't figure it out." Twilight said.
Rainbow spoke up next,"Well, the only thing that doesn't make sense to me is how they never noticed that you had to use the filly's locker..." Then it dawned on everyone at the table, while Sterling just smiled.
Sterling then hammered it home. "It was a bit of a bonus, being able to see all the guy's 'equipment', so to speak."
All the mares and Morgan suddenly had furious blushes, and Sterling had a good laugh on their part. "It's so great to finally be able to talk about it with someone else!" Sterling sighed in contentment. "If it weren't for the birth control pills I would've lost it with all the meat that was flying around."
"Well, it a least answered my next question," Rarity meekly commented to herself.
"What was that?" Sterling said as she dug into her food.
"Your sexual preference." Sterling let out another booming laugh whilst everyone else chuckled along weakly.
"You know what, your great Rarity." Rarity offered a weak smile in thanks as she tried to quell her embarrassment. Sterling leaned her head on her hoof while she ate and talked. "You know, I thought that the Elements of Harmony would be a little more, I don't know, heroic? I'm not sure, it's just that your nothing like what I expected." She knocked her heavy hoof onto the table, sending a couple more fritters onto her plate.
"Me too," Morgan commented. "For such highly praised heroes, I didn't expect you all to be so... modest I would guess is the best word."
"Pfft! Rainbow Dash? Modest?" Applejack said. "Have you seen 'er? She's sure is alot'a things, but modest ain't one of 'em."
"Hey!" Rainbow Dash interjected. "I'm plenty modest! I'm tons modest!" She leaned over to Twilight and asked in a hushed voice, "What's modest?" Earning an eye-roll from the purple alicorn.
"All joking aside," Twilight said as she pushed Rainbow out of her face. "We don't like to consider ourselves any better thatn everyone else. We're still ponies."
"Oh no, I don't think it's a bad thing!" Sterling quickly said. "I just found it funny is all."
"Twilight," Morgan cut in, "I understand that your first act as the Element of Magic was to purge Princess Luna of the Nightmare that possessed her."
"Yes, I guess you could say that's what we did." Twilight raised a curious eyebrow and asked, "Why?"
"You have met my friend Kenny, correct?" Twilight nodded. Everyone else heard the name of the now famous human ambassador and tuned in to their conversation. "As a shaman, he is trained in the interaction with the spirit world and all that inhabit it, the good and the bad. These Nightmare Beings appear to harbor powers not unlike those of other malevolent spirits on our home world. I need to know if they will target Kenny, and, if they do, what the chances are of stopping them."
"I wouldn't worry about them, darling," Rarity suddenly spoke up. "We have insured that they will not be returning anytime soon."
"Rarity's right, Morgan," Twilight said. "The Nightmares aren't a threat anymore, and if they do come back we know how to stop them."
"Thanks, that's just what I wanted to hear." Morgan finished her plate and went to the kitchen to wash her dishes. When she was gone Twilight twisted around to Sterling.
"Sterling," Twilight began, urgency in her voice, "Have you seen or heard from Kenny, personally?"
Sterling jumped to attention and said, "No ma'm."
"I need you to do something for me, contact Flash Sentry and tell him that I need him to observe Kenny. If he starts to experience any nightmares that he should report it immediately to me. Do not let Morgan know. This is an order, understood?"
Sterling nodded stiffly and saluted her Princess. She rushed off to carry out her orders.
Rarity took on a look of worry and asked in a shaky voice, "Twilight, surely you don't think that-"
"You said it yourself," Twilight cut her off. "But I don't want to take chances. If he is a target, we have to insure his safety. We have to keep this a secret. I don't want to worry anyone until I'm absolutely sure that there is a problem."
"If you say so Twi'," Applejack and the other girls nodded in agreement.
"So," Morgan had returned and all the mares quickly shut up and acted natural. "I was thinking, today is only my second day and I haven't even seen what the rest of the town is like. Do you girls have any ideas?"
"Oh, Oh, Oh! I have an idea!" Pinkie spoke up. "Rarity and Fluttershy were gonna go to the spa today! You could go with them!"
Rarity beamed. "That's a great idea! We should all go! It has been forever since the last time we got together for a little pampering! It would be great way to bond!"
"I would love to!" Morgan clapped her hands together to punctuate her words when she noticed that a burly pegasus mare was gone. "Where's Sterling Saber?"
"Oh! She's sending a message to-hfmm!" Applejack barely put her hoof in Pinkie's mouth.
Morgan raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
"She said she, er, forgot something... at the library!" Rainbow covered. "Yeah! Something about her annual report to the Princess! I'll head over and tell her where to meet us."
"Okay?" Morgan said. "So, are we heading out?"
"Yuperooni!" Pinkie answered.
"This is the liiiiife! " Sterling was in complete bliss as Aloe worked at her rippling muscles. "Ohhhhh yeeeah...."
"You mean to tell me you've never been to a spa before?" Morgan asked. She was enjoying a mud-bath with Rarity and Twilight. The others were off in other parts of the spa.
"They were always a little too girly sounding to me. Plus, I didn't like others feeling up my body, but this is wonderfuuuullll!" She moaned in bliss as Aloe worked her over.
"You are harder than a rock," Aloe said in her silky, accented voice. "You hold lots of tension all over your body. It is good you have come." She gripped her hind-leg and bent it sharply at the knee. A loud crack was emitted and Sterling melted with another shaky moan into the cushions she was laying on.
"If this keeps up, she might fall in love with you Aloe!" Rarity spoke with a lilting giggle. Sterling tried to frown but was experiencing to much bliss to do so.
"Actually that brings to mind an idea!" Morgan said with a look of girlish glee.
"What would that be?" Rarity asked.
"When was the last time you had a, what do you call it? Oh, yes, a colt-friend?" Morgan coyly asked. Sterling sat up and eyed Morgan warily.
"I don't like where this conversation is steering..."
"Rarity, surely you know all of the eligible bachelors in Ponyville. Do you think any of them would be interested in Sterling here?"
"Morgan what are doing?"
Rarity quickly caught on. "As a matter of fact I know a stallion who would love to meet Miss Sterling." Rarity sent a sly look over to the very nervous Sterling. "He's quite a fan of more athletic mares."
"Rarity, Morgan please!"
"He's even a pegasus like you!" Rarity clapped her hooves in excitement. "I'll ring him up after we're done here and get a blind date set! Oh, you'll love him! He's just the sweetest!"
"Stop!" Sterling's voice had become desperate.
"But first!" Rarity and Morgan locked eyes and turned to the thoroughly frightened Sterling.
"Oh no!" Sterling's pupils shrank.
"MAKEOVER!!!"
Sterling tried to run, but Morgan grabbed the frantic mare in her magic before she could fly off. "Umm, girls?" Twilight finally spoke up, "It doesn't look like she wants to." Sterling nodded wildly and pointed at Twilight.
"Nonsense!" Rarity rebuffed, "A stallion is exactly what she needs to help get past the past and instill her with the self-confidence she desperately needs." Sterling shook her head so hard her face was a blur.
"I don't know..." Sterling's pleading eyes made it difficult for Twilight to agree.
"Twilight, trust us. What she needs is a stallion who will appreciate her for who she is," Rarity said in a confident, lady-like tone. "You heard her story. She was on the brink and the words of one young colt brought her back. This is exactly what she needs."
Apparently Rarity's speech had rung true, for both Twilight and Sterling had visibly calmed. They were both still a little unsure, but what Rarity had said made sense. "Fine," Sterling practically grunted. Rarity and Morgan squee'd and quickly finished up their mud-bath. After, the two mares and lady went straight for Rarity's boutique. Rarity sent a letter to the potential stallion saying to meet Sterling at a nearby cafe that night at eight. Once, the blind date was set up they got to work on Sterling.
"First things first," Morgan said as she circled around the nervous Sterling, observing her from every angle available. "We need to figure out what you're going to wear..."
"Why?" Sterling asked. "I brought my formal dress with me. I'll just wear that."
"Goddess, No!" Rarity called from where she was rooting through her collection. "If you wear your suit you'll only intimidate him! That and it will only serve to make it easier for him to mistake you for a stallion. No, we must instead accentuate your femininity."
"I don't know, it sounds like your going to stick me in some girly dress."
"Oh no, that would be like trying to put makeup on a rhino. No matter how much I put on, I'll only be making it worse."
"....That hurt you know..."
"It's the truth, darling," Rarity simply stated as she pulled out a dress, gave it look over and threw it into the growing pile of rejects. "Instead of hiding what isn't feminine about you, I plan to use it to make what is pop!" She pulled out a simple black dress, a one piece affair that was made from silk. Rarity nodded and brought it over to Sterling. "Try this on. It should be a little big at first, but I'll fix it before the date."
Sterling pulled on the dress with a little help from Morgan. It hugged her muscular body snugly, like a sock. Rarity's eyes widened when she saw how the dress fit her. "It is a little tight in some areas," Morgan noted as she looked over Sterling."But I think it will be fine."
"If we had more time I would have preferred it didn't grip her flank so." Rarity as she eyed over the area in question. Sterling squirmed under her gaze. "But, as you said, it will have to do." Rarity and Morgan then dragged Sterling to the bathroom to get the rest of her ready.
"All done!" Rarity and Morgan said in unity as they pulled away the last brush from Sterling's face. Morgan conjured up a mirror for Sterling and revealed their handiwork. Sterling's scruffy mane was now silky smooth and styled till she had a wind-blown look. Little makeup was actually used on her face. There was a tiny tinge of charcoal gray eye shadow that made her cobalt eyes pop a little more. She wore no lipstick and no blush.
"We thought that less is more with a mare of your looks," Rarity said. "Your strong, masculine features give you a foreign look that can work in your favor. To attempt to hide it would do more harm than good."
"Now, it's getting towards eight," Morgan said, getting the stunned Sterling to her feet. "Rarity will take you to meet your date."
"What about you?" Sterling asked, a hint of fear in her voice.
"I can't go, I'll draw to much attention. Do you wanna start your date off with the entire town watching?"
"No..." Sterling admitted.
"It'll be fine Sterling." Morgan said, pulling the pegasus into a comforting hug. She pulled back before saying. "It's just a date, if things don't work out it's not a big deal. I just want you t open up and be happy, okay?" Sterling nodded. "Now go get him, tiger!" Sterling nodded, putting on a visage of determination for her best friend. Morgan released Sterling and watched with joy as she left with Rarity to meet her date.
Morgan reclined onto one of Rarity's couches and retrieved a large hand-mirror from her storage space. She cast a scrying spell over its reflective surface and an image of Sterling and Rarity walking down the moon-lit street to Ponyville's premier diner, the Trough. The Trough was an old establishment that dated back to Ponyville's founding. It was set up by an Apple and so featured a large menu of apple dishes as well as other normal foods. The family run restaurant was as much a part of Ponyville as the residents themselves.
Rarity directed Sterling into the old, worn looking building with a warm encouraging smile. The restaurant's rustic exterior betrayed it's highly renovated interior. Sterling gazed in wonder at the surprising level of modern lighting and the black marble bar with glass shelves filled with every liquor imaginable. The large dining space was lined by red-cushioned booths and filled with round black-stained tables of various sizes. Sterling gazed over the light crowd in hopes of finding her date as Rarity approached a waiter so they could be seated. Rarity gently tugged on Sterling's dress motioning to the pegasus mare to follow her. The waiter lead them up a flight of stairs to an open air dining area built on the roof of the establishment. He brought them to a booth with a single, grey pegasus stallion seated on it. He was currently turned away from them, looking out over Ponyville. He wore a simple black sports coat and the collar of a white shirt poked out the top.
"Oh!" Rarity called, "Thunderlane!" Sterling froze when she heard Rarity say his name. She shook as the silver maned stallion turned and she saw him in full. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw her. "Your here earlier than I thought! This is-"
"Sterling?" Thunderlane beat her to the punch, surprising the white unicorn. He had risen from his seat and was slowly trotting towards them. "Is that really you?"
"Oh, have you two already met?" Rarity asked.
"You can't be here." Sterling mimicked Thunderlane's movements, approaching him slowly and carefully. "You're supposed to be back at Vanhoover, training up to be a hotshot Wonderbolt. What are you doing here?"
"Is that a yes?" Rarity interjected.
Thunderlane ignored Rarity and said, "I was, I mean I am. It's a long story, but I'm still trying to wrap my head around why you're in Ponyville. You disappeared years ago. I sent a letter asking your parents where you went and they said you joined the guard and that they haven't seen you since. What happened?"
"I'll just be going now." Rarity awkwardly spoke as she carefully left. "Have fun!"
"Well," Sterling answered, her attention never wavering from Thunderlane. "I guess I should say you're looking at the first female guard since Nightwing."
"No way!" Thunderlane said with apparent joy over his friends success. "Let's sit down, I wanna hear the story behind that!" Sterling quickly joined Thunderlane at the table. The waiter came around and brought a couple beers to drink as well as taking their orders. Once the waiter had taken their menus and left they began chatting again.
"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" Sterling teased.
"I'm only four years younger than you, Sterling." Thunderlane countered. "And you're not as young as you would like to believe." Sterling raucously laughed at Thunderlane's jab. "Besides, you still haven't told me why your here in Ponyville."
"I'm in charge of the safety of Morgan Le Feu, a human visitor," Sterling inattentively answered taking a sip from her bottle. "She's here on buisness with Princess Twilight."
"Oh! I heard about her! The whole town's an uproar over her. She's practically a celebrity. I heard that you caused a little scene at the party too." He struck her with a coy smile that made her fume.
"Just because the ponies in this town don't treat Princess Twilight with the respect she deserves doesn't mean I shouldn't." Thunderlane recoiled at the harsh way she spoke.
"Jeez," Thuderlane said. "Don't get your bridle in a twist, Twilight just doesn't like the special treatment. We all still see her as the book worm who moved in from Canterlot."
"Let's just drop it." Sterling frustratingly answered.
"Goddess, you take your job seriously." Thunderlane's eyes wandered over Sterling's muscular body. "In more ways than one..."
Sterling's eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. "What's that supposed to mean?" She growled.
"Have you looked at yourself?" Thunderlane spoke. "You look like you could bench press me without breaking a sweat. It's kinda hot, actually." Sterling blushed furiously at the compliment. "I bet you could even beat Bulk in a hoof wrestle."
"I don't know who that is."
"He's the most ripped stallion I've ever met, kinda like you but not nearly as sexy." He included an eyebrow waggle to maximize his suaveness.
"What happened to the poor little colt I saved from the freshponies all those years ago?" Sterling reminisced. "You're nothing like the shy, awkward colt I knew back then. You've grown up Thunderlane. I'm actually starting to miss the colt that practically fainted when I gave him a little kiss."
It was Thunderlane's turn to blush when he remembered that moment in their history, but he was no less quick in procuring a come-back, "Be that as it may be, New Thunderlane happens to know that you were a horrible kisser." He smiled proudly when Sterling grew a little more than perturbed by his comment on her kissing skills.
"Like you would know!" Sterling yelled back at him.
"I'll have you know that I have kissed many mares." Thunderlane idly shined his hoof on his jacket. He added in a mocking tone, "And you were always the worst."
Sterling lifted herself over the table with two strong forehooves and yelled,"Like you could be any better!"
Thunderlane stood over the table as well and yelled, "I could do tons better!"
"Prove it!"
"I'd be glad to!"
"Excuse me?" They both turned to see a new mare and stallion standing by the table staring at them awkwardly. Sterling and Thunderlane both quickly returned to their seats whilst embarrassed blushes spread over their cheeks.
Thunderlane cleared his throat to break the tension and said, "Sterling, this is my marefriend Cloudkicker. Cloudkicker, this is and old friend of mine and Caramel's date, Sterling." Sterling's eyes widened when she remembered why she was here. She had been so caught up in catching up with Thunderlane that she had forgotten that it was supposed to be a date. Her blush became all the more intense when she realized she had nearly kissed another mare's coltfriend. Cloudkicker, Sterling saw, was giving her a wary glare. It seemed to say, 'Touch my stallion and I'll lay you out.' She offered an apologetic smile and Cloudkicker simply nodded before sliding in next to Thunderlane.
"Wow..." Sterling suddenly remembered that her date was here and turned to the one she remembered as 'Caramel'. He wore a charming blue tux that went well with his orange coat and matching blue eyes. He smiled nervously as he slid in next to her. He added, "You look great."
"Oh, um... Thanks..." Thunderlane complimenting her was one thing, for another mystery stallion to he liked her appearance was much more reassuring. She felt her embarrassed blush fade. "You do too," She added. Caramel smiled and Sterling smiled in return.
There was a quiet snickering and the two turned to find that Thunderlane was failing to hold back little snickers. When he caught the incredibly furious look he was getting from Sterling he quickly stopped. "What?" He said. "Two great friends of mine are hooking up, I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it." Thunderlane felt a powerful hoof collide with his leg underneath the table. He stifled the cry of pain as best he could. When Caramel and Cloudkicker asked him what was wrong he waved it off. What they didn't notice was the dark glare Thunderlane was getting from Sterling. He got the message loud and clear and decided to stay quiet.
"So, Sterling was it?" Cloudkicker asked with an innocent smile. She received a nod in return from Sterling, who had decided then was an excellent time to take another pull from her drink. "Thunderlane said you were an old friend of his, but he's never mentioned you before. I'm curious, how did you two meet." Sterling's eyebrow raised at her questioning. It was joined by its twin shortly when she saw Thunderlane mouth, 'Careful' just before returning to drinking casually when Cloudkicker's eyes returned to him.
Sterling cleared her throat and calmly closed her eyes before saying, "We both used to live in Vanhoover way back in the day. I saved him from getting bullied by a couple of troublemakers and he took me home to dinner. We've been friends since." Sterling opened her eyes to find that Cloudkicker's smile was suddenly much more menacing and Thunderlane making frantic gestures to shut up. She even felt Caramel tense up next to her. Sterling then realized she had done something wrong, a conclusion only reaffirmed by Cloudkicker's next question.
"Oh? Dinner? So you two were an item?" Cloudkicker's voice was like poisoned honey, dripping with a gooey sweetness that hid the waiting fury within.
"Oh no," Sterling tried to recover, keeping her voice level and preventing any form of fear or nervousness from showing. "He was like ten. By dinner I meant he brought me to his parents house so he could show off his glorious savior. Either way, I would never go on a date with him. He's much to green for my tastes." She poked her tongue out at the pegasus, though he seemed quite pleased with the comment.
"What do you mean by that?" The sweetness in Cloudkicker's voice was replaced by a mild anger.
"He's way to young for me. I prefer my stallions to be a little more mature than he is." Sterling let a note of mocking in her voice. "I'm not like those other mares, what do they call them? I think it was colt-chasers? What do you think, Caramel?" Caramel, fell into a stuttering mess when she put the spotlight on him. She patted the stallion on the head and said, "You're cute. It's a wonder you don't already have a mare-friend."
"How old are you?" Cloudkicker asked.
"Twenty-five," Sterling answered. She saw the looks of surprise on Cloudkicker's and Caramel's faces and asked, "What? You guys didn't seriously think I was your age did you?"
"Rule twenty-three in the Book of Dating: a mare always shaves a couple years off her age, dress size, and weight when asked." Caramel recited. "Which means that you would have to be close to hitting your thirties."
"What?!" Sterling said, "That's ridiculous! Age is just a number, why would I lie about it?"
"So you look more attractive to stallions!" Cloudkicker yelled. "Haven't you ever been on a date?"
"No, this is my first." Sterling said. All the ponies at the tables' jaws dropped.
"Don't say that in front of him!" Cloudkicker's said while pointing a hoof at Caramel.
"Why not?" Sterling asked with a raised eyebrow.
"You'll look undesirable!"
"He already said I looked good, I don't think he sees me as undesirable. Right Caramel?" She turned to the orange earth pony who suddenly blushed and nodded his head. "Rarity told me you liked athletic mares, wanna tell me why?"
Caramel's blush deepened and he nervously touched his hooves together before saying, "It's just that, I grew up in a farming family and I was constantly surrounded by strong mares. I just kinda developed a taste for it, ya know?"
"So you like strong mares, cool." Sterling said with a nod. "Well I don't really know my type, but I like you so far. Where do you work?"
"Um, here actually." Caramel scratched behind his head while he spoke. "My sister is the executive chef and my aunt owns the business. We moved here from Appaloosa a couple years back because Aunt Cobbler said she needed help running the place. When I'm not here I'm helping my cousins down at the farm."
"Rarity's right, you are just the sweetest thing I've ever met!" Sterling said, pulling Caramel into a crushing hug. "If only I could get you to stop being so shy with me."
"Caramel just got out of another relationship." Thunderlane cut in. "He hasn't exactly taken it well."
"Oh, poor guy." Sterling cooed. "Well if it's any consolation, you've got little ol' me now."
"Little?" Thunderlane mocked.
"Shut up, or I'll break your teeth in." Sterling quickly replied.
"Now I believe you two are friends." Cloudkicker announced. "I swear Miss Sterling, if I didn't know better I'd think you were a stallion."
Six mares and one woman surrounded a mirror hung up on a wall in Rarity's boutique. They watched with excited glee at the successes and failures of Sterling Saber's date as it played out in front of them on the enchanted glass's surface. They groaned when Sterling revealed her surprisingly high weight. They laughed at jokes she made and tiny slip ups she had. They cheered when, as they left the restaurant, Caramel summed up the courage to give Sterling a peck on the cheek and ask her out again later that week. Now, the date was over and the mares all headed home. Morgan and Twilight teleported to the library to meet up with Sterling, Applejack and Pinkie walked home, Rainbow carried the sleeping form of Fluttershy to her cottage before heading out to her own cloud castle and Rarity bid them all a farewell before heading to her bed upstairs.
When Sterling arrived back at the Library, she was met with applause from Morgan and words of praise over a successful first date. Morgan helped the mare out of her dress and makeup and into bed.
Sterling slept soundly, though her friend and charge Morgan suffered from a terrible nightmare.
Morgan watched in horror from the castle in Canterlot as the Harbinger crashed into the docks below her, the flaming wreckage no doubt holding Kenny within.
Author's Note
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Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Author's Note
Sorry this is soooooo late guys! I kinda lost interest over the summer and recently just got back into writing it. I hope the extra long chapter makes up for it! Love you guys (and all applicable gals). Like, comment and I'll see you all next chapter! (I promise it won't take so long this time!)
The Crash
"Good Morning, Morgan!" A fully-dressed Morgan smiled in response to Twilight's cheerful greeting as she walked in to the Library's dining room. Morgan had slept in late this morning and Spike was at the stove preparing food with Twilight's help while Sterling sat at the table reading a book that had caught her interest the day before. Morgan joined Sterling at the table and tried her best to stay awake. The night before had been particularly rough. She warily rubbed her eyes in a vain bid to rid herself of the tired ache they held. When that didn't work she resigned herself to just resting her head on the table, her arms acting as a cushion.
Morgan's actions caught the attention of Sterling Saber, who asked in hushed tone, "You didn't...?" A weak nod was the only answer Sterling got, and the only answer she needed. "This is getting out of hand. If this keeps up you're going to end up hurting yourself. We need to consult someone."
"There just bad dreams, Sterling," Morgan quietly muttered back. "Once, I know that Kenny is safe back in Canterlot I'm sure they'll go away." Morgan sunk deeper into her arms and sighed deeply in frustration. "I don't even know why I'm so hung up about it. He's perfectly capable of handling himself."
"Breakfast is served!" Morgan was broken out of her musings by the presentation of pancakes and eggs along with a large bowl of fruit salad to be split between the four of them. Once all of them were seated, they began to dig into the food. They talked about what they planned to do today while they ate. Twilight was going to get more flying practice from Rainbow Dash and Spike was going to watch. Sterling was going to give one last goodbye to Caramel before she left with Morgan back to Canterlot. Morgan listened to everyone talk, though she kept dozing off as she ate, barely catching herself before anyone could notice. This went on for several minutes, and it ended when Morgan's face smacking on the table causing everyone to leap from there seats in surprise.
"Goddess above!" Twilight cried out. "Morgan! Are you all right?" Twilight assisted Morgan up from the table with her magic. She guided her out the dining room and onto a couch in the library. Morgan laid down and instantly fell back asleep. Twilight barely heard Sterling mutter a curse under her breath as she insured that Morgan's accident had left no permanent damage. "Do you have an idea why she's like this Sterling?" Twilight asked.
Sterling sighed in resignation before answering. "She's been having nightmares on and off ever since Kenneth Lee left to Zebrica a week ago. It's gotten worse in the last couple days."
Twilight's eyebrows furrowed in worry. She didn't like the sound of that, and the possibilty that the Nightmare might make a comeback was fresh in her mind. They roused Morgan from her sleep and Spike gave her a cup of tea to help keep her awake. Once she was stable, Twilight asked what was going on.
"It's nothing," Morgan assured. "It'll probably stop once Kenneth comes back."
"Are you really that worried?" Twilight asked. "He's seems very capable of protecting himslef, and Zebrica is a very peaceful country. I doubt he's in any trouble."
Morgan easily waved it off. "Despite his brashness, he is a good friend and I worry all the same. Do not concern yourself with me."
"It's my job to be concerned, Morgan," Sterling cut in. "And I thin-" Sterling's comment was cut off by Rainbow crashing through the library door, newspaper in hand.
"Guys!" Rainbow Dash cried. "You need to look at this!" She held up the newspaper for all to see. In big black letters the headline read, "ALIEN AMBASSADOR SHIPWRECKED IN CANTERLOT! " Below it was picture of the smoking wreckage of the Harbinger lying in the remains of the dock. Morgan whisked the paper away from Rainbow while the others wore looks of abject horror.
"Upon its return," Morgan began to read aloud. "The E.S. Harbinger , the latest and greatest in airship technology, has suffered a severe mechanical failure yesterday. Carrying our fair Princess Luna and the newly-appointed, alien Ambassador Kenneth Washington Lee, the Harbinger had been returning from it's maiden flight to Zebrica when, only a mile from port, the ship's engines ignited. The captain of the vessel quickly lost control of the ship and it crash-landed in the middle of the Canterlot Air Docks, causing an estimated several hundred-thousand bits in damage to private and public property. The resulting blaze took three hours to drown, and by then had rendered the entirety of the docks unusable until repairs can be made." By now Morgan had gone into a frenzy and forsake reading for searching for another mention of Kenny's name.
"God damn it!" She cried, "What happened to Kenny!"
She eventually found what she was looking for and continued reading at a hurried pace, "The Ambassador, Kenneth Lee of Earth, has been placed in the Canterlot General Hospital for severe injuries and has not been available for interview since the crash yesterday morning."
"Goddess, no!" Twilight quietly exclaimed, tears collecting at the corners of her eyes. Rainbow Dash and Spike looked on with dampened spirits and looks of sorrow. They were quickly broken out of their grief by Morgan throwing the paper away and quickly rising to her feet.
"Sterling, grab your things and meet me at the Train Station, we're leaving now," Morgan commanded without even looking at the silver pegasus.
"Morgan, maybe we shou-"
"NOW!!!" Morgan's voice was venomous. Sterling gulped before flying up the stairs to pack her bags. Before anyone could stop her, Morgan left the library and teleported to the train station. She wasn't there long before Twilight and all her friends had arrived as well.
"I don't care what you say, Kenny needs my help and I'm going!" Morgan's voice was still laced with venom, but it lacked the firmness from before.
"Sugarcube, If'n yer thinkin' we're here to stop 'ya, ya'll gotta whole nother thing coming," Applejack commented with a determined smile.
"Yeah!" Pinkie happily joined in with a beaming smile. "We're going with you!"
Rarity nodded before adding, "Any friend of Morgan's is a friend of mine, Darling. Besides, he has a great sense of style."
Fluttershy stepped forward to say, "You're our friend and your friend needs all the support he can get to recover."
"And it's our duty as your friends to help out in anyway we can!" Twilight finished off.
Morgan's protests died in her throat as she looked over the proud faces of the six ponies. She gathered them all in a big hug and whispered, "Thanks girls, it means a lot." She released them shortly afterwards. Once Sterling arrived at the station, they all boarded for Canterlot.
"How is he?" Luna dejectedly looked up from her meal at her sister from her end of the table. She saw the concern clearly drawn on her face. Concern for Kenny or for me? She wondered. Perhaps both... Luna had been able to walk away from the crash the day before unscathed, but that was because she had been the one to ensure the crew were protected while Captain Stormfront landed the ship. Kenny had taken it upon himself to control the fire in the engine room with his powers. It had seemed fine at first, Kenny easily managing the flames, but when they landed the shock of impact caused the engine to explode. When they had pulled him from the wreckage, his clothes and body were covered in scorch marks. A single piece of shrapnel had punched through his mail shirt and into his chest. The sight had brought her to tears, and many onlookers as well.
"He is... stable," Luna answered after a long and pregnant pause, refraining from looking her sister in the eyes while she spoke. "His armored cloak had protected him from most of the blast, enchantments were found woven into the fabric and mail. This alone prevented the explosion from taking his life, though it was not enough. He is now in a magically induced sleep until his more severe wounds heal, or else the pain would drive him mad." Luna heard Celestia heave a sigh of grief. What Luna didn't say is that the doctor's expected Kenny to suffer brain damage from the concussive force of the blast, but scans have proven inconclusive.
"But he will recover?" Celestia asked.
"With time, yes." Luna picked at her salad with a heavy heart. The worst part of this whole ordeal was the knowledge that there was nothing she could have done. If she had opted to protect him with her magic, the crew would be left to fend for themselves in the crash, the many more lives would be at the balance. It pained her to think this was the best outcome.
"Have you checked on him since yesterday?" Luna shook her head solemnly, causing Celestia's frown to deepen. "It is probably for the best, seeing him as he is now would only breed more worry."
"Indeed." Luna's voice was hollow. She bid Celestia excuse her and left the dining hall. She walked to her quarters and threw herself upon the bed, quickly falling to sleep, but not before casting a spell over herself. When sleep claimed her, she found herself in her perception of the Dream. The usually starry landscape was occupied by a sparse amount of stars. This was as expected, each light was a dream and few slept during the day. Luna looked over the lights of the Dream, flashes of their contents dancing over her eyes.
As she looked for Kenny's dream, thoughts of the crash kept returning to the forefront of her thoughts. She ran the events leading up to the accident again and again, so much that the vision in her mind's eye began to manifest around her. She recalled the resplendent dinner she and Kenny had shared, the last of the best Zebrican cuisine that had been sent home with them as a show of good faith and admiration for the new Ambassador and recovered Princess. She remembered curling up next to him in bed, falling into a deep and comfortable sleep. Then she remembered being woken by the shouts of the crew and the smell of smoke. She shook away the thoughts and the vision faded until she was once again back in the Dream. Focused once again on her true task, she located Kenny's dream among the sparse points of light in the dream.
It was a dull and tiny, the brief glances she sees within revealing nothing. Luna entered the dream to find herself in a grey world. Dark, fuzzy, formless shapes moved around her, just out of the corner of her eye. She saw Kenny's greyed out form, a representation of his consciousness, standing with his back to her. She considered this a good sign, magically induced sleep does not usually allow for dreams to fully form. If Kenny's mind were damaged, he should not be dreaming at all. It made Luna's heart rise, knowing that at least one thing had tipped in Kenny's favor. With a flash of her horn, a dream was constructed from Kenny's resting mind. Trees sprang from the ground, their thick foliage covering the sky. Luna looked on in wonder as the sounds of unknown animals rang between the mighty trunks of the trees. Kenny himself was garbed in leather and fur. She left him to his dream and bade him good sleep.
Morgan had entered the hospital so suddenly that the receptionist at the counter jumped at her entrance and scrambled to collect herself as the distraught human approached. She had only just managed when Morgan reached her and said,"Where is he?"
It didn't take long for the receptionist to figure out what he was and burbled his room number out. Morgan nodded and left the counter. Only then did the receptionist notice the seven mares that had come in after Morgan. She went to ask what they were at the hospital foe when they all turned and followed the female human towards the wing where the Ambassador was being kept.
When they reached Kenny's room Morgan found that she couldn't bring herself to open the door, afraid of what she may see on the other side. A gentle nudge from Sterling reminded her why she had come and she opened the door. Slowly they all filed into the room, catching the attention of a unicorn doctor that was checking up on Kenny. He went to tell them they shouldn't be in there but stopped when he noticed they were much to engrossed with his patient to pay attention to him.
Kenny lay in an over sized bed originally meant to contain the Princess should she ever fall ill. His entire right arm and leg were covered in thick casts, and his torso, left arm, and head were wrapped in bandages. Little specks of blood dotted the white wrappings. His broken limbs were suspended in the air. A mask was shoddily taped over his mouth, the plastic misting over with each breath he released. Several wires trailed out from beneath the wrappings, leading to machines that monitored his health. His legs were uncovered, but it only served to show more superficial scratches and cuts he had as well as a patchwork of bruised skin.. They all stared at the prone form of a once happy and healthy young man, tears collecting in their eyes. Many of them didn't know him personally, but to see anything in such a mangled state was too much for them.
Morgan fought back her tears and shoved away the doctor, who protested loudly but otherwise did nothing. With a faint prayer to the Light of Order, she went to work on healing Kenny's wounds. Her hands and eyes glowed with an unearthly and pure light as her fingers danced in the air above his sleeping body. The girls, especially Twilight, watched in awe as Morgan weaved the Light to her will, guiding it to restore his body. Hidden by his bandages, Kenny's injury's quickly healed. Cuts and bruises vanished, leaving smooth skin in their wake. Burnt flesh was forcibly shed and new skin replaced it. Kenny groaned in his induced sleep and shifted uncomfortably. His breathing became ragged as Morgan worked. Minutes passed and Morgan's own breath became short. She began to pant in exhaustion and the color left her face. She began to feel faint, and her glowing eyes fluttered. She felt a hoof on her arm and turned to see who it was.
"That's enough sweetie," The doctor said with a comforting and caring smile. "It's clear you need rest after what you've done. Why don't I get a nurse to bring you to the mess hall and get you something to eat? I'll watch him while your gone." Morgan nodded weakly, the glow receding until her eyes returned to their natural color. The doctor called a nurse over who lead Morgan out and away from the room, Sterling dutifully following behind. The girls looked on in wonder as Morgan left, stunned by the power she had displayed. None new how to describe it, but they had felt the power spent on Kenny's healing. It had left them reeling and staring after her through the door way.
"Goddess above....!" The sound of the doctor's voice returned the seven mares' attention to Kenny. The doctor had removed the bandages around the top of Kenny's chest, revealing smooth skin where there was once burnt flesh. The only sign any damage had been done was a long, shiny, dark scar that swirled down from his neck and around his chest. It ended in a curl on his right pectoral. A second scar traced a path from his left shoulder before ending in a loose curl across the left pectoral. As The doctor unwound the bandages on his arms, several more of the same scars revealed themselves. They wound across his arms like snakes, varying in both thickness and length. They wound most tightly around his hands, his left was completely covered in the new tissue while his right was restricted to only another swirl on his palm. Finally, the doctor removed the bandages across his head. He, like the girls, was eager to see what Morgan's spell had done. When they finally fell away, the room went still.
The burn that had traced it's way up Kenny's neck had stopped at the bottom of his left eye. His right eye bore a similar burn, though it only extended down as far as his cheek.
"My word..." The doctor whispered. "We thought he'd lose his eyes." He carefully used his magic to move the eyelid out of the way of his left eye. It revealed an untouched and completely functional brown eye beneath.
"That girl's dynamite!" The doctor quickly looked over Kenny's formerly many injuries while the girls all whispered among each other. They all stopped when a commotion was heard outside. It was quickly followed by the entrance of the two rulers of the land, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Celestia's eyes settled on the six mares and she gave them a reassuring smile, though her eyes betrayed the worry she felt. Luna ignored all except the body that still remained unconscious.
"What has happened Dr. Grey?" Luna asked in earnest, looking to the doctor for an answer.
"Uh... Well, your highness," Dr. Grey stumbled, getting his thoughts together. "The other human, the female, came in just a little bit ago and used some spell to rectify most of the damage to Mister Kenneth Lee here." Luna's eyes widened at the news. She turned to Kenny once more, her expression betraying none of her emotions.
"Where is she now?" Celestia asked.
"She was tired after casting the spell, so I had a nurse help her get some food in the mess hall." Luna turned her hard gaze back to Dr. Grey and he stiffened. "In her credit, the missus has performed admirably. Almost all of the injuries I have looked at have completely healed, only the worst may need additional work. He could be out of here in a couple days as opposed to months."
Apparently, Luna wasn't quite convinced because she asked, "Have you performed any scans for internal damage?"
"No, your highness." Luna snorted in disapproval and lit her horn awash in pale blue magic, running it over Kenny's form. Once she was satisfied nothing was out of place she cancelled the spell and promptly left the room without explanation. Celestia hesitated, even going as far as looking to Twilight and her friends with a look of worry before following her younger sister.
"I'm sorry to ask, but may you ladies please leave?" Dr. Grey asked. "I need to perform a couple more tests, and it would be in my patient's best interest that he has some privacy." The girls nodded and left the room.
Once everyone was gone, Dr. Grey slumped on a chair next to Kenny and sighed deeply, a hoof pressed to his temple. He looked past his hoof to Kenny and said, "Son, you have caused more drama in one day than I've had in a lifetime." Kenny's only response was a particularly loud moan.
"Explain to me what exactly you did to Kenny." Luna had found Morgan eating a hearty vegetable soup with a large chunk of cornbread. Once Morgan had eaten her food, Luna quickly leaped on the opportunity to get some answers.
"I used my powers as a Priestess of the Light to heal him." Morgan's voice was weak and tired, though the food had returned the color to her cheeks. Celestia, seated next to her sister, levitated a cup of orange juice over to the table and placed it next to Morgan.
Celestia was curious and asked, "And what is the 'Light'. What is its purpose?"
"In layman's terms, the Light is a sentient energy that exists in all things. It is the force that promotes order and control in the universe." Morgan stopped to take a sip of her orange juice. "It strives to destroy all that is unnatural and chaotic. It rights the wrongs."
Luna was now interested in this new subject. "How does this Light determine what is unnatural?"
` "It is unknown to us, the Light is not like Kenny's spirits. It does not, or can not, communicate with us. It is eternal, it cannot be created or destroyed. It defies all understanding of arcane magic and largely remains a mystery. Regardless, it is far more powerful than normal magic when utilized correctly and can accomplish far greater deeds, as you have seen with Kenny."
"You would trust in such a mysterious and powerful being?" Luna asked.
"It is no being," Morgan corrected. "We believe its sentience is unlike ours, and beyond our own comprehension. It spans entire realities, and so must have knowledge of all things. It's power has always destroyed evil and rejected the unworthy. A power that naturally defies darkness is hardly something to fear."
"May the guiding Light will reveal the path to truth in its incandescence and banish all evils that block your way," Morgan spoke. "A prayer of the light, you understand. The Light is as much a faith as it is a source of power."
Celestia smiled warmly at Morgan before saying, "We understand, Morgan, just as we hope you understand that we were simply curious of the nature of the magic that was able to heal Kenneth. Now that you have been as gracious as to comply to our prodding, as well as the sudden recovery of Kenneth's health, I do believe some celebrations are in order." Celestia waved over a passing cook. "Three slices of your finest chocolate cake, and, if you kindly could, prepare six more to be delivered?" The cook nodded hastily before bowing and heading off to complete Princess Celestia's order.
"Luna?" Luna looked over to find Morgan was giving her a look of morbid curiosity. Luna knew exactly what she wanted before Morgan had a chance to ask.
"It was an accident," Luna carefully explained so as to assuage Morgan. "Investigators have connected the engine fire to an oversight in the ship's design. After making such a long trip twice in succession, the heat generated by the more powerful engines had damaged various pipes in the ship. This resulted in an uncontrolled magic emission that ignited the engines."
This new information did caused a brand new emotion to rise: anger. "That's it!?" She cried. "A mechanical failure?!"
Sterling quickly tried to sooth Morgan, but she was furious. Her words were silenced by Morgan's rant. "My friend nearly died , and the best you could do is chalk it off to engine problems!? At the least you should confront those who designed the ship!"
"Enough!" Celestia hadn't raised her voice, but the stern tone had silenced Morgan all the same. "We understand that you are upset and you have every right to be, but that does not make it okay to lash out at us or anyone involved in Kenny's accident. You are far from the only one hurt by this unfortunate event, but Kenneth is safe and he is healing. The worst has passed and, thanks to you, we can breath easy." Morgan visibly calmed, but Celestia failed to see that anger was still buried deep in Morgan. The cook arrived with three slices of chocolate cake and delicately placed them on the table before giving a short bow and leaving once more. Celestia eagerly dug in while Luna and Morgan didn't even bother touching their pieces. When Sterling went to ask if Morgan was okay she was cut off by Morgan sliding the piece of cake over to Sterling. Luna did the same with Celestia. Once all the cake had been eaten, and a whole cake divided into six pieces was delivered to the six mares in the waiting room, they all left for the castle.
The carriage ride was occupied by an uncomfortable silence, made worse by how Luna and Morgan refused to make eye contact with each other the entire trip. It didn't help that Sterling also refused to make eye contact with either of the princesses, though that was out of respect for her rulers and employers. When they arrived at the castle, Morgan left immediately for her room, Sterling in tow. Celestia and Luna instead took up residence in the throne room to begin the Day Court. Celestia noted as she listened and resolved the many issues brought to her that Luna seemed troubled by something. The court ended at noon, and Celestia and Luna relaxed as food was brought to them. Celestia filed through paper work, Luna still staring off into space.
"What's wrong, Luna?" Celestia asked without any warning, not even looking up from her work. Luna was shaken out of her thoughts, surprised that she was suddenly being addressed.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, you have been deep in thought ever since we left the hospital. Considering Kenny's very surprising and sudden recovery, one would think you would be more ecstatic. Yet, here you sit ignoring your food and have done nothing but think since. What has you so abstracted?"
Luna wasn't forthcoming at first, but once she figured that her sister wouldn't let it go she asked, "Did you notice how distressed Morgan was?"
"How could I not? If I didn't know better I'd say she loved the boy, why?" Celestia replied, though she quickly put the pieces together and asked, "You don't think...?"
"I know I'm overreacting, but it worries me all the same. Does Kenny know? How long has she had feelings for him? Had she known about me and Kenny before?" Luna slumped on the table with her hooves over her face.
"Are you worried he might leave you?" Celestia's voice was a little more tender and reassuring. "I would think he is loyal to you, especially if he was around her for four years and nothing happened."
Luna raised her head and said with a dark look, "Was he really? What if something happened and he's hiding it from me?"
Celestia quickly responded, a hint of indignation in her voice. "Banish such dark thoughts from your mind! Never once has Kenneth's admiration and affection for you wavered, why question it now? Even after all the things you put him through upon his arrival in our world, he was willing to attempt to become your lover. I would bleed to have a stallion as understanding and caring as him."
Luna wilted underneath the might of her elder sister's scorn. "You are right, he has been the best a mare can look for in her special somepony. It is unfair of me to accuse of such things with little more proof than the affections of another. All the same, I fear Morgan's intentions. I can only hope she has no plans to move in on him."
"It is natural to feel jealous, Luna. Just remember that you aren't the only one affected by all this." Celestia gave one of her signature smiles that would warm the heart of even the coldest creature. "There are two others to account for. Now, eat your lunch. The chefs will have a fit if they find your food untouched."
Luna chuckled a little and did as her sister told.
Twilight and her friends were all relaxing in one of the castle's many lavish sitting rooms, talking about anything that came to mind. Since their arrival, Morgan had locked herself in her room with only Sterling to comfort her. They were worried, as friends should, but recognized that she needed some time alone. With nothing else to do, they decided to take advantage of the situation and the cake Celestia had given them back at hospital. No matter the subject, everyone was careful to not mention Kenny or his condition. It was better to let some dragons sleep.
As they talked, Twilight noticed a familiar face pass across the open doorway. Excusing herself, she ventured out into the hallway, barely catching a blue tail round a corner to her right. Quickly, she ran ahead to catch up to what she believed to be Flash Sentry. She had been worried foe his well being since she remembered that he was also on the Harbinger when it crashed. While they were at the hospital, she had asked the receptionist if Flash Sentry had been checked in as well, and was both relieved to find out he was not and distressed that she now had no way to find him. Luckily, she seemed to have caught him while he was in the castle. She rounded the corner and saw Flash Sentry in full armor walking down the hallway. She began moving to catch up to him, seeking to aid him in what would obviously be a time of woe, what with his best friend in the hospital and what not, when she saw him stop at a door. She stopped as well as he opened the door to reveal the gryphon princess as its resident. She pulled Flash in and closed the door, cutting off any chance of talking to Flash. She was about to dejectedly return to her friends when a spike of curiosity struck her. She found herself fighting the urge to spy on the both of them. It would be wrong to eavesdrop on them, they clearly want privacy... She thought. On the other hand, it would be valuable insight into what stallions like in a special somepony... The ever-seeking-knowledge part of Twilight won out once again over her common-sense-and-logic Twilight. She sneaked up to the door and placed an ear to it.
Flash's muffled voice was first, "-didn't know you were here! I assume you heard what happened?"
"Of course I heard what happened! Everyone's heard!" Twilight couldn't help but wonder how she heard, did they ship out the papers that quickly? Or was some other method used to spread news between world leaders? "I heard Kenny is in the hospital, how is he doing?"
"Fine apparently, I just got back from the hospital. Morgan, the second human, used some crazy magic to heal him. He's doing great now," Flash said, a note of cheer coming through, "Though he has some pretty wicked scars."
"You sound more jealous than concerned," The gryphon (Edith , Twilight remembered, Her name is Edith ) said.
"He was already big and intimidating, now he has all these dark lines over his body. He looks like a beast!"
Edith chuckled, but then her voice became sultry as she asked, "So, I haven't seen you in quite a long time. What do you say we celebrate your survival with a little 'roll in the hay', hmmm?" Twilight's face instantly went beet red, but she made no attempts to move from the door.
"...We need to talk, Edith." A pregnant pause followed that seemingly simple statement.
"W-what about?" Twilight had only met Edith Grayfeather a couple times, but that was enough to know that she was not the kind of gryphon to stutter.
"I think you know what about, Edith." Flash's tone was serious, and a little sad. "Edith, do you love me?"
"Of course I do! How could you ask something like that?"
"Really though? I'm sorry, but I feel like you don't. I'm not even sure if I really love you..."
Edith's voice was a little edgy when she said, "What do you mean, Flash?"
"I mean I think this relationship is wasn't we think it is. I think we've fooled ourselves into thinking that what we have is more than it really is. Edith, I like you. I like you a lot. You're a great friend and a better lay, but is that all this is? When we were at the Crystal Empire, I felt like all we did as a couple was bang. Even now, we've just met after around two weeks and the first thing you suggest is we do it again. I don't think this is what real couples do. If all we are is rut-buddies, I don't think its fair to try and make this work into something more. We've been together for what, a month-and-a-half? Maybe two? If it hasn't moved already I don't think it ever will, Edith."
Flash's speech was followed by another pause, but this one felt empty and vast. Twilight was wide-eyed and attentive, Flash's words reminded her of Cadence briefly. She began to wonder if Flash had contact with her sister-in-law, but she did not get far before someone started speaking again.
"As much as it pains me to say," Edith began, "You're right, and it isn't fair for you to be in a relationship you aren't satisfied with." She sighed. "I'm sorry I pulled you through this Flash, this is all my fault."
"No it isn't." Flash calmly said. "Not anymore than it is my fault. At worst, we're both at fault, but that would mean this was a mistake. I don't know about you, but I don't think trying things out with you was a mistake."
"Dang, Flash, when did you get so..." There was a short pause as she found the word, "Philosophical?"
"Let's just say I know a guy who happens to be an expert on the subject," Flash's cheeky smile could be heard in his voice. "So, can we still be friends?"
"Of course Flash, we can always be friends." Twilight's eyes shone with happy tears after hearing what was probably the sweetest conversation since she got a lecture from Pinkie Pie on the different types of frosting. She raised herself up from the door and happily trotted down the hallway, singing praise to the both of them of working out their relationship issues and keep on being friends.
Then she remembered that Flash was single again.
Flash poked his head out the door and looked down both ends of the hall and asked, "Did you hear that?"
"Honey," Edith responded as she poked her head out the door as well. "I think my father could hear that, and he's back home."
They both scanned the hallway before mutually shrugging and retreating back in. Meanwhile, Twilight was pressed against the wall around the corner of the end of the hall. She breathed heavily, desperately trying to calm herself while mentally lecturing herself over losing her cool.
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Even the Brightest Lights...
Author's Note
I'm updating regularly again guys! Happy Halloween to all my wonderful readers!
Even the Brightest Lights...
Luna peered into the light of Kenny's dream, perturbed by its defiance. Kenny had been asleep for close to a week since his impromptu healing at Morgan's hands. Though his body has returned to near perfect condition he remained asleep. The spell used to sedate had been removed, and all attempts to rouse him were fruitless. Kenny stubbornly remained in a deep sleep. The Princesses decided to see if perhaps his dreams would help lead to a solution, though she was surprised to find it difficult to breach. Though she could still enter the dream, the mere idea that Kenny's dream was somehow closed to her advances or resistant to her natural manipulation of dreams brought up multiple questions. Why and what was defying her power?
She pushed forward into the dream, careful not break it as she entered, and was overcome by a bright light that flowed forth from all sides. As the light faded she beheld an unearthly scene. Creatures both mythical and mundane floated, flew, ran and all other manners of movement around her. She looked down to find she was standing in what seemed like a shallow pool of water, though she could not see her reflection in its waters. A thick mist blanketed her surroundings preventing her from seeing farther than a couple hundred feet, though she could see that she seemed to be in a wooded area. The trees were spread out across her vision, the creatures darting in and out between them. Luna's attention returned to the various beings that surrounded her. They seemed to ignore her, or otherwise didn't notice her presence. She noted that despite their variety of forms, they all bore similar color schemes. She saw a ghostly white gryphon fly lazily through the trees, a giant turtle with a green moss coated shell trudge across the ground, a luminescent red cricket the size of her head hopping through the trees, and a deep blue, speckled salamander crawl out of the water. Luna looked on in wonder as all these creatures danced across her vision.
This was far from unusual, seeing as she had handled all types of nightmares in the past. Though, she did not feel any connection to the fabric of Kenny's dream, if it was a dream. Luna had to consider that perhaps Kenny was not dreaming in the conventional sense and that, instead, he was currently involved in something beyond his own mind. She briefly considered that maybe she was in some sort of spirit realm, seeing as Kenny is deeply involved with spirits. When she attempted to use her magic to locate Kenny, she found it had no effect, further puzzling the alicorn. She tried various other spells to manipulate the dream space and found that she had no control at all in this place. She settled for looking the old-fashioned way, moving from the pool to look around the woods.
Luna stopped her gaze when it landed on the resting form of a jet black wolf hidden in the shade beneath a tree. It's eyes were open, glowing a faint white light. It's unique coloration piqued Luna's curiosity. She recalled that Kenny's spirit animal was a wolf, and that his talisman depicted a snarling onyx wolf similar to the one before her. She approached the wolf cautiously, dream or not this was all new to her and it was better to be cautious, especially around hunters.
As she grew close it raised it's head, cocking it to the side. Its ears perked up as well, both aimed straight at her. Luna figured that if it hadn't growled at her yet she was good to go. When she was only a couple feet away, she sat on the grass in front of it. It continued giving her that curious stare. Luna tentatively reached out a hoof, remembering that it was best to let a dog smell you. She only let her hoof reach halfway, close enough to get her point across but far enough she could pull back if it proved hostile. The wolf stood and walked slowly to her outstretched hoof. It then surprised Luna by bypassing her hoof and instead going straight for her face. It stared into her eyes before circling around her and sitting down in front of her.
"Do I know you?" It spoke, its mouth moving in an alien fashion as it formed words.
Luna instantly recognized its voice. "Kenny?"
It was Kenny's turn to be surprised, his wolf eyes widening and muzzle opening in a distorted "o". In an excited voice he said, "Luna? Is that really you?"
"How did you not recognize me?" Luna asked in confusion. "I did not disguise myself in any way, nor do I detect any foreign spells on myself."
"Because your a wolf Luna, a big blue one with stars in its fur. You wouldn't have noticed of course, seeing as you can't see it yourself. Not without training." Kenny cocked his head again. "I was going to ask who you were, mainly because you seemed so familiar. Now I know why."
Kenny fixed Luna with a inquisitive stare, eyes narrowed at Luna and asked, "My question is, how did you get here? And why?"
"Those were two questions," Luna responded, earning an eye-roll from Kenny. "And to answer them: I came here trying to enter your dream. What is 'here' by the way?"
"You are currently residing in your world's Spirit World. The spirits like to call this part Alfheim. I don't know what it means, but it's what they've told me." Kenny and Luna briefly took a moment to look around and admire the beauty of it. "Kind of amazing you got in here through my dream. I suppose it makes sense, seeing as I am sleeping right now, but I'd never classify being here as dreaming."
"It was not difficult, though it was unusual to encounter such resistance." Luna then said, "Though I fail to see how your dreams can be a window to another realm."
Kenny's wolf form shrugged and said, "I don't really understand the workings of it myself, only that while I dream that I can reach the Spirit World more easily. Perhaps while I dream my body becomes a pathway to this world." Kenny's puzzled gaze turned to Luna. "Though you didn't tell my you're here."
Luna's look of sorrow made Kenny worry. She said, "Do you know where you are right now?"
"I assume your talking about physical me?" Luna nodded. "Aren't I sleeping back on the ship?" Luna's next look told him he was wrong
"Kenny, you have been in the hospital for over a week now. The Harbinger crashed in Canterlot and you were seriously hurt." Kenny's eyes widened and he looked down to his paws, processing this revelation.
"W-what happened to everyone else?" Kenny asked.
"Everyone on the ship is okay, you had me protect them while you helped to ensure our landing was not fatal." Luna gave him a hopeful expression. "Luckily, though your injuries were severe, you were healed by your friend and colleague, Morgan. It has been a week since, and all your wounds have healed. Though, you have refused to wake since then."
"Wow Luna, that must have been hell on earth for you." He wrapped her in a hug with his forelegs. "I had no idea."
He pulled away and said with a smile, "Well, if I'm fine, then I need to wake up, right? Hold still while I get us out of here."
Luna nodded and watched Kenny close his eyes. She watched in wonder as everything began to glow brighter until her vision was obscured by white light. She couldn't tell when Kenny's presence had left her, but shortly after realizing he was gone she felt the familiar sensation of waking up. Suddenly, she was in her quarters, lying on her bed. She recalled what she was doing and leaped from her bed and ran out the door, her thoughts centered on the hospital where Kenny finally woke.
"Thanks Princess!" Flash sucked down on his shake with much gusto. "I really needed this. After breaking things off with Edith and the crash, I've been in a serious need to relax." He continued sucking at his banana and peanut butter milkshake while Twilight fought to keep her cool. She smiled awkwardly, which went unnoticed by Flash, and mimicked his actions with her plain vanilla shake. They were seated at an old haunt of Twilight and Shining Armor's from when they were foals. She recalled how asking him to come had gone...
Twilight fought the urge to run, and called out the retreating form of the guard on duty. "F-flash? Flash Sentry?"
"Yes, your Highness?" Twilight gulped as Flash turned to her with those bright sapphire eyes.
"I, umm... what did she say? I noticed that you seemed...uhh-Ah! Down! Yeah, down! I noticed you seemed down lately. Can I ask what's wrong?" She mentally slapped herself over her utter failure to keep it together.
"Oh," Flash said dejectedly, causing Twilight to wince. "Well with my best friend being in the hospital and all, I've been kind of worried. Especially since he hasn't woken yet. On top of that, I just left my first relationship.To be honest, life kind of sucks right now, your Highness."
"Oh, poor dear," Twilight cooed just like Rarity taught her. "I know just the thing to cheer you up! You, me, and the best milkshakes a stallion could have, approved by my brother himself." Twilight waited anxiously as he mulled over her offer.
"You know... I would love that, Princess!
Things had started pretty rocky at first, but now they were almost too good to be true. Flash was having a good time, she was spending time with him, and she hadn't screwed anything up so far. She had him right were she wanted him, she had dropped all the hints like Rarity said. She made sure to lean on him on the walk here, mention how she too was single, constantly sidle up next to him in the booth they were sitting at. It was all going just as planned.
"You know what I like about you Princess?" Flash suddenly asked, breaking Twilight from her thoughts. "You're a real down-to-earth, you know? I mean, when I first saw you, you seemed just like the other three Princesses, but you're nothing like them. I feel like I can really connect with you." Twilight's ears perked up at "connect." "I mean, were having milkshakes at some hole in the wall diner in the farther corners of Canterlot. You don't hear stories like that about the other Princesses."
Twilight was practically quivering in her seat as Flash talked. She waited for the penultimate moment, the culmination of all of friends and her's planning.
Flash smiled and said, "You're best Princess in my book, Princess Twilight. The best friend a guy could have!"
Twilight's world came crashing down around her ears as Flash's words were processed through. He had said the dreaded word, the word Rainbow Dash warned Flash should never say, or the entire escapade would be for naught.
Flash had called her his friend.
Rainbow had warned her of this, the dreaded "Friendzone". The place budding relationships go to die. It was a horrid purgatory where your soul is forced to stay whilst all your affections are mistaken for friendly gestures by the one you deem worthy of your love. The prison where your heart is kept, or else risk committing a crime whose only restitution is the sacrifice of what little relationship you do have. She was doomed to forever watch the apple of her eye from afar, forbidden to ever partake of its sweet juices. She was lost betwixt the pillars of love-
"Flash! Flash Sentry!" Twilight was broken from her thoughts by the call of a Royal Guard who had just entered the diner. He saw Flash and rushed over to their booth. He bowed quickly to Twilight and said, "Flash! Your friend, Kenneth Lee, the Ambassador! He has finally awoken!"
"What!?" Flash exclaimed pushing Twilight out of the way as he tried to reach his comrade. "Does Luna know?"
"Nectar told me! She's headed down right now!" The Royal Guard responded.
"Well alright soldier, I want you to get the other human, Morgan, and tell her as well. While you do that I need to pick up Holly, if I know him he'll want to see her as soon as he wakes up." The Royal Guard nodded and they both ran from the diner, leaving the confused and hurt Twilight alone in the booth. She lay there for awhile, mulling over the entire date. She searched it all for some error, a mistake, anything that could explain her failure but came up with nothing. She stood up from the booth's seat and left the diner, heading towards the castle.
When Morgan arrived at the hospital, she was met with a throng of reporters and journalists surrounding the entrance to the hospital. They were blocked entry by two Night Guards, using their frightful appearance to dissuade the mob of ponies from trying to enter. When Morgan attempted to move through the crowd she was instantly swarmed, Sterling her only defense against them all. She was bombarded from all sides by question after question, causing her to freeze on the spot. With some forceful pushing, and her sword in mouth, Sterling managed to force Morgan through the crowd and the door of the hospital. Once inside, Morgan grasped at her rapidly beating heart.
"Sorry, Morgan, if I had known that was going to happen I would've tried to sneak around back." Sterling's apology was met by a dismissive wave of Morgan's hand.
Morgan, once her heart had settled and mind was clear, navigated through the quiet hospital to Kenny's room. When she reached the door, she quickly grasped the handle and opened the door. She was met with the image of Luna laying in the hospital bed on top of and across Kenny. Luna's neck curled back to allow her forehead to rest against Kenny's own, the fur on her cheeks streaked with wet tears. Kenny was whispering words of comfort to her, one hand stroking through her ethereal mane. The sight caused a surge of jealousy through Morgan, one that caught her unaware. She began to question why she was so suddenly opposed to the couple, but was stopped by the sudden appearance of Holly and Flash.
The giant, wooden wolf bowled Morgan over and knocked Luna from her perch trying to get to Kenny. She stood over him on the bed, lapping away at his face with her leafy tongue, covering him in light green slobber. Flash, who had been riding on her back, had been bucked off mid-leap and landed on top of Luna, causing them both a great deal of discomfort until they separated.
"I'm happy to see you to girl! Now get down!" Kenny yelled with a wide grin. With a little work and a couple stern words he managed to get Holly to be content with just her head on the bed, Kenny idly scratching the leafy scruff behind her ears.
Morgan was able to find her footing once again with the help of Sterling, and once she was up finally caught the attention of the reason they were all here. "Morgan!" Kenny called and continued saying, "Get a move on over here!"
Morgan obliged, albeit begrudgingly, moving to the side opposite Luna and Flash, joining Holly on Kenny's right. Sterling wordlessly and robotically pulled up a chair for Morgan to sit on. Kenny spoke once she was situated. "So I heard you, for all pretense and purpose, saved my life?"
Morgan merely nodded, and Kenny continued speaking. "Then get over here you big prude!" Kenny unexpectedly wrapped Morgan in a all-encompassing hug, plucking her from her chair and onto the bed. Morgan yelled and beat at Kenny to put her down, blushing furiously all the while. Kenny eventually did let her down, but it was clearly on his own terms.
"Seriously though," Kenny started when Morgan had retaken her seat. "Thanks a bunch, I don't want to think about what could have been if you weren't around. I know we have our differences, but its nice to know that were still friends no matter what, right?" He raised a fist to Morgan, which she largely ignored. "Come on~," Kenny sung.
"You know how I feel about that," Morgan curtly responded.
"For me?" Kenny used the cutest voice he could muster and put up the best puppy eyes he could. He even added a quivering lip for good measure. Morgan rolled her eyes at his horrible attempt, though she relented anyways. She touched her fist to his and Kenny pulled his back in an exploding gesture that mimicked Morgan's own then they slapped each others palms with the same hands before finishing off by placing their other hands over the sides of their hand-sandwich and finally pulling out. They shared a little chuckle at their little secret handshake.
"For one who says secret handshakes are 'childish,' you seem to be having lots of fun." Kenny's jest caused Morgan to go silent and stick up her nose while crossing her arms.
"They are!" She snootily replied, but she then followed with, "Though it was a little fun."
Everyone in the room enjoyed a laugh at Morgan's expense, which she was glad to pay. She was happy to say that things could get back to normal, but she couldn't fight the sense of discontent in her soul from seeing Luna and Kenny together. Unnoticed by the others, Morgan's laugh died in her throat as the sight of Luna and Kenny replayed in her head over and over, each time worsening her mood a little more...
"I look wicked!" Kenny looked over his scars in his mirror back at the castle. After he was released from the hospital, he had gone straight back to the castle. He had gotten a peek at his scars as he left, and had immediately went to his mirror to inspect the full effects of the crash. "I thought this kind of stuff only happened in T.V. shows!"
"What's a T.V.?" Flash asked.
"Oh, right, you guys don't have those." Kenny pondered what to say and finally settled with, "Imagine that you could watch any movie, but instead of a projector it was box that had the picture in it."
"That sounds pretty cool," Flash said with a bit of a shrug.
Luna spoke up from her spot by the door, "I will never understand males and their fascination with bodily disfigurement."
Flash and Kenny ignored her, instead admiring the dark slashes across Kenny's body with boyish glee. Kenny posed in the mirror, enjoying the way the scars moved with his body. Luna shook her head and levitated Flash Sentry out the room and shut the door, locking it behind her. While Kenny was still looking at himself in the mirror, she sidled up next to him. He only had time to look down before Luna wrapped her hooves around him and vaulted them both to his bed. They landed with a bounce, Luna on top of him wearing a wicked smile that spread across her face. She wrapped her hooves around his torso, trapping his arms to his side.
"I'm guessing you wanna do it?" Kenny asked.
To Kenny's surprise, the answer was, "Nope."
"No?" Kenny twisted a little to test her grip. "Why not?"
"I have been worried sick about my boyfriend for over a week, right now I don't want to do anything except cuddle until we're both old and grey, or hungry. Whichever comes first." She nuzzled her snout into Kenny's chest. Kenny, arms pinned to his side by a powerful demigod, could do nothing but sigh in resignation and try to relax.
"You know, wouldn't it be better if I could cuddle back?" Kenny posed to Luna.
Luna playfully shook her head and said, "Not if you try and escape."
"And why would I do that?"
"Perhaps so you could show off your new scars, hmm?" Luna's guess was met with silence. "It would seem I know you better than you realize."
"Shut up...," Kenny whimpered back like a whipped dog.
"You are hardly in the position to make demands."
Eventually, an hour later in fact, Luna fell asleep and Kenny was able to move again. He moved his arms out and attempted to move away, but was quickly reigned in by a rib-breaking hug from Luna. He sighed once more and wrapped his arms around her in return. He settled into the bed and fell asleep alongside her.
Morgan, carrying a salve she had prepared to help Kenny's scars fade, entered the room shortly after Kenny had fallen asleep. She froze when she saw the two wrapped in each other's embraces. Once again, a dark hole grew in Morgan's psyche that ate away at her joy. She left the room and beat her hand on the opposite wall of the hallway outside, desperately trying to fight off the negative feelings that such a sight brought. Almost as if to kick her while she was down, the image of Kenny and Luna in the hospital returned. With its new compatriot, the images refused to leave her mind. She didn't know why they tormented her so, but she intended to stop it. With a whisper, she cast a blessing of Light over herself in an attempt to cleanse the thoughts. To Morgan's dismay, the thoughts persisted unabated by the Light.
She ran to her room, leaving a trail of anguished tears in her wake.
Luna shook Kenny's shoulder, rousing him from his slumber. He woke easily from his sleep, allowing Luna to release the breath she had been holding. She had almost convinced herself that it was all a dream. Kenny stretched out his long limbs, his arm lazily reaching around her as well, and scratched his chest with the other. Luna went to speak, but was stopped by Kenny suddenly and blearily kissing the tip of her nose. Before she could respond, he then pulled her smaller frame into his chest, putting her head behind his.
Now a little miffed, Luna angrily commanded, "Kenny, wake up!" He did not respond, so she repeated the command.
He moaned despairingly and said, "Why? We don't need to do anything, last I checked."
"Because we need to talk." Kenny's head popped up at that, his eyes wide with worry.
"Whatever it is, I'm sorry!" He spoke, winning an eye-roll from Luna. "I promise it won't happen again."
"Not that kind of talk you dolt," Luna responded, giving him a whack over the head to accentuate her point. "We need to talk about Morgan."
Luna had been expecting either surprise or worry, not Kenny suddenly going stone-faced. He asked in a more serious tone, "What about Morgan?"
"Do you know she has feelings for you?" Luna asked without missing a beat.
"Luna..."
"Do you, or do you not know that Morgan Le Feu, your friend and colleague of four years has developed a romantic interest in you?"
"You can't be jealous, can you?" Kenny responded with a little hurt in his voice. "You should know that I didn't share her feelings-"
Luna cut him off with, "But you are aware of them?"
He fell back into the bed, placing his hand over his eyes in frustration as he said, "Yes, I was."
"'Was?'" Luna inquired.
"As in she had feelings but has since gotten over them." Though it was a statement, Kenny said it like it was a question.
Luna's eyes widened a little, then she gave him a look of concern, "Kenny, if what I saw is any indication, Morgan is still holding feelings for you."
While Kenny was surprised by this, he quickly said, "But she knows it won't happen. She knew from the start that I was already in a relationship, and she never attempted anything sense. You have nothing to worry about."
Luna was unconvinced, and so left the bed and room. Kenny tried to talk her into staying, begging her to see reason, but she simply left and closed the door on him to dissuade him from following. Kenny stared at the door in shock for a bit, then he slumped in defeat. He pressed his forehead to the door, thinking over how best to resolve this situation. He soon came to the realization that the only way to ensure Luna trusted his word would be if she heard from Morgan herself that what he said was true. A solution in sight, Kenny regained his resolve and rushed to dress himself to meet his female compatriot.
Kenny approached the door of Morgan's room, and was surprised to see that Sterling was nowhere to be found. He considered looking somewhere else, but was stopped by the sound of soft sobs coming from within. Frowning, he approached the door more cautiously. He put his ear to the door and heard more sobs, clearly Morgan's. Fearing for his friend he opened the door and entered.
"Morgan?" He called, peering into the dark room. The curtains were drawn and blocked the afternoon sun's rays. He was only able to see a small fraction of the room using the light from the hallway coming through the door. He walked further in to get a better view of the room, but the door closed of its own accord behind him and removing what little light he had to see with. He stumbled blindly for a second before a lamp washed the room in a dim orange light, revealing a disgruntled and disheveled Morgan sitting on her bed. She was half submerged in a nest of blankets and sheets.
"What do you want, Kenneth?" Morgan's voice did not reflect her earlier sorrow. Her words were harsh and spiteful.
Kenny was a little off put by Morgan's aggression, but pressed on anyways. He gingerly asked, "What's wrong?"
For a moment, Morgan's eyes widened in realization. She quickly turned her tearful face from him and shouted, "Nothing! I'm fine!"
"No you're not Morgan," Kenny replied, moving closer to her. "Tell me what's wrong."
"There is nothing wrong with me!" Morgan shouted, never turning to look Kenny in the eye.
"Yes there is, you're clearly upset. Just tell me what's wrong, Morgan, I want to help." Kenny jumped back when Morgan whirled on him, a fierce, almost animistic look of rage on her face.
"You can't solve yourself!" Morgan yelled in unbridled rage. Unnoticed by her, a blue, ethereal, starry mist collected around her on the bed as she continued speaking. "Ever since we came here I've tried being supportive of your relationship with that no-good Princess!"
Fists clenched, she climbed out of the bed and after the rapidly retreating Kenny. She trapped him on the far wall, face inches from his and whispered, "Why don't you love me? Why do you let me suffer alone, forcing me to watch as someone else enjoys the prize I never even had the chance to take?"
Kenny, forced to look into her eyes, finally understood. He finally saw what Luna was talking about, and more. He finally realized how much Morgan must hurt, how much she tried to hide her feelings behind a cold mask, how much she endured seeing him being happy with someone else. Above all, he saw what he had done to her by ignoring her persistent feelings for himself. All he could do was muster up the courage to whisper, "I-i'm so sorry Morgan."
Morgan stared wide-eyed at his apology for a moment. Then, quicker than lightning, her expression became one of fear, right before she started screaming. She clapped her hands around her head, howling like an injured animal. She thrashed around the room, her blood-curdling cry causing Kenny to cover his ears. Kenny watched in horror as her blonde hair began to turn black and her skin became ghostly pale. He saw the canines in her screaming mouth sharpen and lengthen until they were like a vampire's. Kenny reached out to help her, somehow, only to be slapped across the face when he touched her. The force of the hit threw him into the other wall headfirst, and he blacked out.
"Kenny! Kenny!Kenny!" Kenny woke abruptly, Shooting up from his position on the ground. He grasped his aching head, but was surprised to find that he felt bandages around it. He finally noticed where he was, Morgan's room. Or, better yet, what was left of it. Where there was once a window there now was a giant hole in the wall, still smoking around the burnt edges. Luna was next to him, presumably the one who had woken him. Celestia was talking to some guards a ways off. Twilight and her friends were consoling a crying Sterling Silver. Confused and scared, Kenny looked to Luna.
"What happened?" He whispered.
Luna's eyes darkened and she said, "The Nightmare has claimed Morgan as its own."
Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Kenny stared wordlessly forward at the smoking hole in the wall across from him. Celestia and the Elements had already left to begin the search for Morgan, leaving only Luna to comfort him. She lay next to him on all fours, her head, sans her crown, resting in his lap. He had been sitting staring like this for nearly half an hour, his eyes never wavering away from the portal from which his friend had escaped from after the power of the Nightmare had overtaken her. Luna had begun to worry for him, finding the usually flighty and energetic human so void of life very unsettling. She lifted her head to nudge at his arm in hopes of eliciting even the smallest reaction from him, if only to confirm he was in fact still among the living.
"You ever feel like you've fucked up shit so hard that you'll never be able to recover from the sheer stupidity of it all blowing up in your face?" Kenny suddenly spoke, his voice quiet and breathy.
Luna pondered his words and the answer he was looking for before finally answering in a quiet voice of her own, "Yes, after I came home from my banishment, I felt like I would not ever be able to earn back my sister's or my kingdom's forgiveness. If Celestia had not welcomed me with an open heart like she had, I may not have been able to bear the guilt for my actions so long ago."
She was surprised to hear Kenny chuckle grimly. "I'd completely forgot about that little point of your character," He said. "You probably understand better than anyone hear how shitty I feel."
Luna turned to face Kenny fully, giving him a deeply sympathetic look as she said, "My sister could probably better sympathize, seeing as she has shared with me many a time her own guilt over have let me become a Nightmare. However, I think it is much more important that we discuss how you are handling this right now. You mustn't blame yourself for this. As I have told my sister, it is not your fault. You couldn't have known this would happen anymore than the rest of us. Understand that shouldering the blame will not solve anything."
Kenny weakly nodded, but Luna could see that he was at least trying to put her words to heart. She raised herself on her fore-hooves to nuzzle his cheek softly with her muzzle and then lay her head on his shoulder.
"What do I do now?" Kenny asked Luna, eyes still never leaving the hole.
Luna sighed darkly before answering, "Nothing, you are in no state to assist my sister or the Elements of Harmony in apprehending her."
It startled Luna very much when Kenny suddenly whirled on her, departing from his position on the wall to stare her in the eye with his stunned and angry glare. "How can I do nothing?!" He cried in outrage. "My friend is being taken over by a malevolent spirit and you want me to stand on the sidelines and let the girls handle it? I've been training for years to handle situations just like this! I am the most qualified out of any you to deal with Morgan right now!" He rose to his feet, Luna following suit as well. Kenny ran his hand through his air in exasperation before continuing, saying in a stressed tone much to quickly for Luna to respond, "The girls don't even have the Elements anymore! What are they going to do without them when they catch her? The best they could do is imprison her, or.... or..." His voice died out, unwilling to continue that train of thought. He collapsed to the ground once more and began sobbing into his arms, muttering, "Fucking hell on earth I've fucked this up. Alfred gave me one fucking job, 'Keep Morgan Safe,' and I fucked it up. What the fuck have I done? Fuck!"
He finally quieted when Luna's hooves wrapped around him from behind. She rested her head comfortingly above his chest, letting his chin rest on the top of her head. "Ssshhh....." She whispered. "It will be okay, we'll find Morgan and we'll make things right. When you have recovered you will join us, no sooner. Now, you need to rest and relax."
Kenny was silent in her embrace for a little while before he spoke in a weak and tired voice, "One thing, I need to do one thing to help. Then I'll leave you to it."
Luna didn't respond immediately, silently mulling over his request. After some careful deliberation, she said, "Very well, what will you do?"
Kenny lifted one arm and began to chant under his breath. A small ember drifted from the still smoking hole in the wall into his outstretched palm. Just before it would land on his palm, it exploded into a small flame. Luna noticed a pair of golden eyes peering from the depths of the base-ball sized fire. Kenny brought the flame closer to him and whispered a few words to it. He then asked Luna, "Could you bring me that candle over there?"
Luna levitated the unlit candle over to him, and Kenny set the flame on the exposed wick. The flame shrank soon afterwords to a more believable size. Kenny handed the candle into Luna's waiting hooves saying, "If and when it finds Morgan, this flame will guide you to her. simply follow where it points."
Luna nodded as she peered into the small flame. "I will bring this to my sister. I want you to go to your room and sleep. I'll find you before you wake."
Kenny nodded and Luna gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "We'll fix this, I promise," she said before she left.
Kenny stared out into the countryside of Equestria a little longer before he rose to his feet and finally left.
"Do we know how long that might take?" Celestia asked her sister. Luna had quickly honed in on her sister above the Everfree Forest after leaving the castle and had explained to them the purpose of the candle she held. "What if it goes out before it finds her?"
"I doubt that will happen," Luna answered. "It is unusually cool for a flame, and it seems wholly unaffected by the winds caused by my flight here. I would believe that only Kenny or the spirit itself could snuff it."
A guard arrived and saluted. "Your Highness, I'm sorry to say the trail has gone cold. It would seem she had noticed our pursuit and has taken efforts to cover her tracks. There is no evidence of any magical means of relocating herself, but any physical trail she may have left is being quickly swept away by the Everfree itself."
"Thank you, Captain Cold Gale. We can rest assured she's somewhere in the forest at least. Set up a perimeter around the forest edge and get some ponies on watch, I want everything of note reported to me on the hour. Nothing leaves this forest."
"Yes your Highness!" Captain Cold Gale saluted once more before flying off to carry out the Princesses' orders.
"Hopefully the spirit's search proves more fruitful than ours. Morgan has proven to be very difficult to find." Celestia eyed the fire warily. "How is he handling this?"
"Better than I expected, but I fear that he is still keeping some of his true feelings buried. I hope to help him confront them later as he sleeps." Luna looked off to the distant Canterlot palace. "If I do not succeed, will you speak with him?"
"Of course I- Luna!" Celestia shouted a hoof pointing to the candle still floating beside Luna. Its flame had now tilted, as if blown by a non-existent wind towards the thick of the Everfree Forest.
Luna quickly shouted, "I will follow the trail! Gather the elements and catch up with me."
Celestia quickly nodded and disappeared in a flash of golden light. Luna flew off in the direction the candle pointed, quickly adjusting her flight as she watched the flame of the candle move. As she flew closer to the canopy of the Everfree, the candle suddenly began to move more erratically, twisting and turning as if it had been caught in a hurricane. Luna struggled to interpret it's directions and was forced to halt her advance. In a few seconds the flame straightened out and Luna took off again. When she felt she was honing in once more, the flame again began to quiver, but Luna was prepared. She followed as closely as she could the trail it pointed at, and soon determined the pattern Morgan had been following. As Morgan dashed unseen through the forest below, Luna estimated her position and gauged her speed as she flew. When Luna grew sure of Morgan's tactics, she launched herself in a cocoon of blue magic through the trees and into the forest proper. She caught a large shadowy figure dash away out of the corner of her eye, and once more hastily tracked her down. Jumping through the forest in leaps and bounds, off boulders, tree trunks, and the occasional unwary creature, Luna caught up to the shadowed form of Morgan as they dashed through the underbrush. Luna was almost within range for a stunning spell when a fiery, blue fire-ball spun towards her head. Luna teleported away from the spell and towards Morgan only to receive a powerful punch to her jaw.
"Gah!" Luna cried, stunned, before she felt an abnormally hot grip crush her windpipe and hoist her to the air. The candle was released from her magic, and fell to the forest floor.
Luna summoned the strength to open her eyes and see the enemy she faced, and blanched at the sight before her. Morgan's blond hair had turned into a wild, black mass of shadow that flowed ever upward like a roaring fire. Her eyes had become two blue orbs with narrow slits for pupils that burned into the Princess like red-hot nails with their furious gaze. Morgan's skin had paled to the point that she looked more like marble statue than a person. Her body was draped in more shadow that clung to her form like a dress one size to small, and curled into smoky wisps at the hem. Her arms were bare down to the elbow, where black metal filigree shaped into small fiery shapes encased her forearms. Luna felt Morgan's sharp nails dig into the soft flesh of her neck, only barely avoiding breaking the skin.
Morgan's face twisted into a cocky and amused smile, as if she had caught a puppy trying to sneak into her yard. "Well, well, well Princess," Morgan said the title like it was an insult, her voice reverberating with unholy power. "You've proven harder to shake than those pathetic guards your dear sister sent after me. Would you be so kind as to tell me how?"
Luna felt the grip lessen just enough to allow air to flow once more through her bruised windpipe. She coughed and spluttered, but refused to say anything, resisting the urge to look for the fallen candle.
"No, just going to sit there and glare at me like a struck child?" Luna felt the grip redouble its efforts to separate her head from her neck through raw force. "Well, if nothing else, I can at least rest assured that my romantic rival is no longer an issue. With you gone, Kenneth will finally be mine. I wonder what I should give him for our first anniversary?"
Luna's eyes bulged as the lack of oxygen started to affect her, the edges of her vision blurring. Morgan's grin widened, taking on a far more sinister tone as she leaned into Luna's ear and said, "How about a whole kingdom to call his own? I'm sure yours will suffice."
Luna's horn sparked as she desperately summoned the will to cast a spell, and was rewarded with a blinding flash and a deafening bang. Morgan threw Luna away, grasping at her blinded eyes. In a cry of rage, she blindly flung fire around her, setting the forest aflame. Luna dragged herself away from the raging she-demon and leaned against a tree to catch her breath. Soon, strength once again returned to her and Luna set her sights on Morgan. She charged a stun spell and warily circled Morgan through the cover of the forest, careful to avoid the fires raging around her. Luna waited until Morgan had turned away from her and fired the spell. Morgan heard the discharge, and melted into a shadow on the forest floor, narrowly dodging the spell. Luna easily saw Morgan's movements in the firelight and fired another spell at the puddle of darkness. It zipped to the side and disappeared into the shadow of a tree. Luna stood on guard, waiting for the attack to continue, but none came.
"Princess Luna!" Called the voice of Twilight Sparkle as she flew down through the trees and began to quell the flames of the forest. Celestia came soon after, teleporting in with the rest of the Elements. They quickly attended to the battered Princess Luna or assisted Twilight in stopping the forest fire.
"Enough!" Luna cried as both her sister and Fluttershy tended to her. "Morgan is escaping! We cannot worry about some bruises while our enemy evades us again!"
"The guard will insure she won't leave the forest unnoticed," Celestia tersely responded. "Now we need to make sure you won't become a burden when we confront her again. Why did you not wait for us?"
"I saw the opportunity to strike and took it," Luna explained. "I didn't intend to even defeat her on my own, just slow her down. I should ask what took you so long."
Fluttershy looked sheepish, but said, "I found a hurt creature, and I had to help....."
Luna fixed Fluttershy with a reproachful look and said, "While your kindness is admirable young pegasus, I would ask that you remember what we are doing and adjust your priorities accordingly." Fluttershy nodded meekly and Luna relented.
"Ooooh, check this out!" Pinkie suddenly exclaimed, holding up the fallen candle which had stubbornly remain lit despite the battle that had transpired. "The flame's all weird looking!"
True to Pinkie's words, the flame still leaned as if blown by an unseen wind, and it pointed at an angle upwards. Luna and Celestia followed the the line the flame pointed out through the trees to the distant city of Canterlot.
Just then several magical flares sparked in the sky, signifying that Morgan had been sighted.
Kenny was meditating in his room, Flash Sentry beside him doing much the same. While Kenny was utterly still, Flash would occasionally fidget or squirm. This went on for a little while before Kenny released a troubled sigh and asked, "Would you like to stop?"
"O-Oh no!" Flash quickly replied. "This is what you said to do, and I'm doing it!"
"Flash, its okay. Meditation isn't for everyone, and even then it takes some getting used to. If you would like, go outside and take a fly-by around the castle to clear your head then return. I'll stay here and continue."
"But I-! Oh, all right, I'm going. Just, your okay, right? You're not going to suddenly slip into depression when I leave?"
"Flash," Kevin answered in an amused tone. "If it would make you feel better, I promise that I'll be fine while you take five minutes to fly around. Go, and let me meditate in peace."
"Okay," Flash said. "I just worry, you know. Sterling's having a meltdown, I'm amazed your so calm right now."
"There's something the monks told me back home. 'The strength of an arm is nothing to the strength of spirit. A spirit that can never be broken can never be truly defeated.' I learned the importance of an unwavering mind. When faced with a raging spirit that commands the very earth beneath your feet, the worst thing that can happen is for you to hesitate or make mistakes due to fear. A calm collected mind can navigate any storm."
Flash looked on with wide eyes. "Wow, that was pretty deep."
Kenny rolled his eyes and said, "Uh-huh, so are you going to go fly now or continue to disturb my meditation?"
"Right, sorry. Leaving now" Flash finally left, and Kenny breathed a small sigh of relief.
Returning to his meditative state, letting his mind slowly unravel and relax after the day's events, Kenny began to settle. As he meditated he reached out to the realm of spirits and allowed his own spirit to drift away. When he opened his eyes he found himself in a grove surrounding a pond blanketed in green mist, Kenny himself seated at the base of a willow tree who's branches stretched over the water. Kenny breathed in the fresh, clean air and allowed the tranquility of the place to fill him.
"Well, well, quite the day you've had, huh?" The Spirit of Fire appeared before Kenny on the surface of the pond. Their was no fanfare in his appearance, one moment he wasn't there and the next he was.
"I guess you could say that," Kenny replied. "I do not look forward to the days to come either."
"Ahh! So you are wise enough to know that this will most definitely not end quickly," The spirit joyfully noted. "Your friend's conversion was most unexpected, neither I nor my fellows could foresee this. This Nightmare creature is cloaked in too much shadow to be seen. Now that it no longer hides, I can see the rivers of destiny flow through it plain as day. It does not see that defeat is inevitable, it clings desperately at your friend hopes of prolonging its dwindling existence." The Spirit of Fire looked Kenny in the eye with its own blazing orbs. "So now you need something to remove the spirit from your young friend. Preferably without hurting her. I wonder, young Kenneth the Onyx Wolf, what you intend to do?"
The Spirit of Fire's smug grin was unmistakable, and Kenny spoke with more than a little resignation, "O great Spirit of Fire, I wish to pledge this mortal form to thee, so that I may wield your cleansing flame upon the darkness that would consume it."
The spirit looked upon Kenny with a wide, satisfied grin, like a cat that had finally caught a wily bird. "I thought you would never ask."
A ring of fire surrounded Kenny and the fiery spirit stepped through like it was but a gentle breeze. "Let us begin the ceremony," It said as it circled him. "Present your totems."
Kenny removed his necklace and held it out for the Spirit of Fire. It reached out a hoof and swept it over the gems that encompassed the length of cord. All the gems transformed except the centerpiece were transformed into glimmering orange fire opals, the carving of a snarling wolf in onyx was transformed into a dark red diamond carving of a similar wolf head, but the fur turned into the rays of the sun as the extended outward around the gem. The cord became a gold chain and the gems were now clasped in gold fittings that resembled tiny suns.
"Henceforth you shall be known as Kenneth the Wolf of Sol. May your power burn supreme over your enemies, and your radiant light bolster your allies. You will walk the earth as an agent of my will, a shining example of my benevolence and power. Go forth and carry out the last rite, and claim the power of the Sun."
The flames surrounding them intensified, consuming them both. "You have chosen wisely Kenneth, even if you would not believe it. Your position will serve you well in the trials ahead." Kenny heeded the words of the Fire Spirit, but felt regret all the same. He hadn't intended to pledge himself anytime soon, and especially not to Fire. The monks had warned him of his destiny, and that such things were not easily changed even in other worlds.
Kenny was now a Sun Warrior, like the Ancient Aztecs of old. It had been in his blood, and could not be refuted any longer.
Kenny awoke startlingly, the transition having been jarring. He felt the heat of the Spirit of Fire's blessing within, waiting to be unleashed in its entirety. Kenny walked over to his bag, removing a tool he had not seen in a long while. A steel rod about his arm's length ending in a plate cut into the shape of a flame. The final rite required a sacrifice of self. He would be required to brand himself.
Kenny lit a fire, and began to stoke the logs. It took several minutes to get the fire going, and it would take longer for the brand to heat up. Kenny sat in front of the fire again, and began to meditate some more. As he waited he listened to the sound of the crackling fire and quiet roar of the logs burning.
"My, this is relaxing." Kenny started very suddenly at the sound of Morgan's voice. He quickly spun around and found said woman laying next to him. "It has been too long since we could be together like this."
"M-Morgan?! What are you doing here?" Morgan stood to meet him and wrapped her arms around him.
"Why, to talk to you of course." Morgan traced a finger along his chest. "We need to discuss some things..."
Kenny got a hold of himself and said, "Morgan, this isn't you. You need to-"
"Shhh," Morgan said, using her finger to stop Kenny. "You need to stop talking for a minute and just listen to me. I'm going to take us from here. We're going someplace safe. Now sleep." Morgan pressed her finger to his forehead and watched in mild glee as he nodded off.
"Now, time to go to our little Love Cave."
Author's Note
I'm back! Hope you guys enjoy the new chapter! Comment, Favorite, and give me a thumbs up!
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Spellbooks, Dating and Why Humans don't like the Arcane
Swords, Magic, and Explosions (Directed by Michael Bay)
"Well, looks like you're all healed up." Dr. Graft said as he inspected Kenny's leg. "The bone is as healthy as ever. You are free to go as you please, just take it easy for another week and avoid any strenuous activity with your leg. I'll check you out back at the infirmary." Dr. Graft left Kenny's room while Kenny tested out his leg, happy to see he could actually walk. He decided to go for a short walk to wake his leg up. He headed out for the gardens and breathed in the fresh air once he was outside.
The last week was interesting one. Luna was quick to 'win' his affection, showering him with gifts, love letters and smooches. While flattering, Kenny had asked her to tone it down for his own sake. One man can only deal with so much. Sadly for Luna, Kenny's leg had prevented them from going on a real date to, as Kenny had put it, really get to know each other on a deeper level. Luna had insisted that a date wasn't necessary and that she would be forthcoming in all questions he would've asked. Kenny said that she was missing the point.
"My dad always said that a relationship only works when you have spent time together with no other goal then to get to know your significant other. Impressions, appearances, and preparation often do little to change the final result, so it is best to forgo these for nothing more than a good time." Frankly, Kenny had never put this to practice, having received this after his second breakup.
"Kenny!" Luna's voice rang out, "What are you doing? You didn't tell me you were being released today!"
Kenny face-palmed at his own stupidity, how had he forgotten to tell her? She had been by his side almost every hour of every day during his recovery to ensure that he was comfortable, leaving only to deal with the occasional political emergency. She of all people should have been told that he was finally able to leave his room without somebody's (usually her's) help.
"Sorry, Luna. I literally just got out. I'm out taking a walk to get the blood flowing." Kenny hoped this would get him off the hook. He still winced when he recalled the vicious reprimand a hoof-servant had received when the innocent pony had helped Kenny into his tub. He didn't wan't to bring her wrath on himself. Luna gave him a quick nod, satisfied with his answer. He sighed in relief.
"Apology accepted. Do you mind if I join you?" Luna asked.
"Nope."
They walked through the gardens, admiring the statues and fauna. Luna slowly inched closer and closer to Kenny, careful to stay under his radar. It helped that he was so tall. She had forgotten about his height, what with him being bed-ridden for so long.
"Luna, I know you already told me why you like-"
"Love."
"Love, " Kenny said with a roll of his eye's. "Me, but I still don't get it. You could have anyone, why me? An alien visitor who isn't even quadruped?"
"Kenny, I have long since learned what a good colt-friend is, and hot jerk is not it. I care most about the type of person you are, as cliche as that sounds. Plus, you aren't as unattractive as you say. Remember, I have seen you completely naked and let me say that you look quite fertile."
"Luna, I will never be able to un-hear that."
"Kenneth W. Lee?" Luna and Kenny both turn to confront the newcomer, who turned out to be a gryphon with a very official looking getup and a sealed letter in claw.
"Yes?"
"I have a letter for you from the Princess of Greifland. She requests your presence at the Seventy-Fifth Annual Royal Ball later this month." The gryphon said as Kenny extracted the letter's contents. "You will find that with the letter is a formal invitation to the event, have a nice day." He gave a quick bow and left.
"What does the letter say?" Luna asked.
"Don't know, I haven't read it yet. I'm honestly not in the mood to read it either. Eh, I'll do it later." Kenny said as he shoved the envelop into his back pocket. "You want to do anything?"
"Actually yes! I have a great idea! I've heard of this new place where all the young fillies and colts go nowadays. It'll be our first date!"
"An Arcade?" Kenny asked in mild disbelief. Luna had led him through Canterlot, long since leaving the districts full of mansions and the well off to the homes and businesses of the upper-middle class. They stood in front of the Shining Knight Arcade.
"Yes! I have heard much about it! They promise fun and joy for all ages!" Luna said in glee. "I was so happy to find that technology has come so far in my absence."
"Wow, I guess the tumblrs were right..." Kenny muttered.
"What was that?" Luna asked.
"Huh? Oh! Umm... I was saying that we have stuff like this back home!" Kenny recovered, "It will be interesting to see what kinds of games your culture has come up with."
"Well we won't know standing out here!" Luna said with much cheer, walking into the establishment. Kenny followed, but he couldn't help but notice the stares and whispers of ponies as they saw him and Luna enter an arcade together. He began to worry, What will everyone think? He asked himself, Will Luna get in trouble for this? The two Nightguards that took post on either side of the doors didn't help his thoughts.
"Come on, Kenny!" Luna's voice shook him out of his thoughts. "You're gonna miss all the fun if you just stand there!"
"I'm coming Luna." Kenny responded, deciding to let Luna worry about her own publicity.
"I like the look of this one. It's even got another machine for a second player!" Luna said as she circled one of the consoles. "You take the other one, I want to see what you've got!"
Kenny sat on the opposite side of Luna as the start screen popped up, asking for a bit. Kenny fished a bit out of his pocket and deposited it inside the machine. A prompt came up, asking if he would like to join Luna in multiplayer, Kenny moved the joystick down to select the 'Yes' option. The entire screen went black and an invigorating 8-bit tune came up. It was followed by flash of bright swirling colors and the words The Crystal Blade. After that quite impressive display a character select screen came up. There were many options, ranging from a staff-bearing earth pony wearing orange robes and lacking a mane to a gryphon in the weirdest bondage get up he has ever seen. He then noticed Luna's 1st player cursor moving over the many options. He saw it settle on a surprising addition to the game, Nightmare Moon in her usual armor and wielding a large and deadly looking crescent-moon sickle that shone with a polished gleam. A black figure caught his eye and Kenny maneuvered his cursor over to another strange addition to the roster, the one and only King Sombra. The black, fiery maned unicorn was adorned in full plate armor, leaving only his glowing green and red eyes visible, narrowed to deadly slits. He grasped in hoof a black crystal zweihander that's center gave off a strange red glow. He pressed the start button, selecting his character and beginning the game.
The screen went through a brief loading before he was given the sight of the Everfree forest, or more specifically a clearing in the Everfree forest. Nightmare Moon appeared from the blue, starry mist of her own mane. Sombra materialized from the shadow of a black crystal spire. They stood at the ready on opposite ends of the arena, Sombra on the left and Nightmare on the right, weapons poised for the other's heart.
"Fight!" Flashed across the screen, accompanied by a gruff masculine voice. Kenny jerked his joystick right and watched Sombra cross the screen towards Nightmare. Nightmare mimicked him, rushing straight at Sombra. When Sombra had gotten close, Kenny pressed one of the three buttons next to the joystick. The result was a Sombra swinging his heavy weapon in a wide arc across his front. The blade slammed into Nightmare and sent her sprawling across the clearing. A decent chunk came away from the health bar that adorned the right side of the screen.
Kenny smirked, "Awesome."
Luna was amazed, the game was mesmerizing. Her avatar followed her every command as she had input them. She guided Nightmare back to Sombra, approaching cautiously. Sombra and Nightmare circled eachother, waiting for the other to make a move. Luna, curious to see what would happen, pressed the second button next to her joystick with he hoof. Nightmare quickly jabbed at Sombra, the attack falling just short of hitting him. Sombra responded with by backing up and once again making a swipe at her with his large blade. This time Luna noticed the slow attack and side-stepped it. She followed this with a press of the first button, and Nightmare swung her curved blade at Sombra. The blade struck home and knocked Sombra to the ground.
"Yes!" Luna cried out. She watched a piece of Sombra's health break away. Now she and Kenny were about even.
Kenny shoved his joystick up, and Sombra instantly recovered from the hit. He moved Sombra back into Nightmare's space and saw her do another horizantal swing with her sickle. He shoved the joystick down and Sombra deftly ducked, avoiding the curved, silver blade. Kenny shoved the joystick up and pressed the second button at the same time. Sombra smashed the hilt of his sword into Nightmare, stunning her. He followed with another heavy strike, sending Nightmare sprawling once again.
Luna panicked and began to furiously jerk the joystick and mash the buttons in an attempt to recover from the hard hit. Nightmare landed on her feet and let loose a bolt of ice-blue magic that exploded against Sombra, throwing him to the ground.
"WHOAH!!!" Luna and Kenny said simultaneously.
The blast had evened the score once again. Their showdown began to attract a crowd of young colts and stallions. They quickly took sides, cheering on their respective competitor.
Luna rushed Kenny's avatar, Nightmare making quick slices across his abdomen. The health came off in small bits, quickly adding up to a powerful combo. Kenny pressed the third button, and Sombra grasped Nightmare. Everyone cried out as Sombra threw Nightmare into the air and jabbed his blade into the ground, summoning a spire of black crystal to impale the mare. The damage wasn't enough to balance them, however, and Luna still held the advantage. In desperation, Kenny entered the first combo that came to mind.
Left, Left, Up, A+B+C
Sombra's eyes suddenly glowed with a sinister light. He raised his blade into the air and spoke one word.
"KILL!!!"
The crystal blade glowed with a blood red light and Sombra forced the blade into the ground again, this time creating a fissure that was followed by a massive wave of dark magic. Everyone in the room stared as Nightmare was eradicated, her health instantly vanishing at the impact.
Nothing was left of her but a mangled and molten sickle on the ground.
"Critical Kill!" Flashed across the screen in aggressive font, accompanied as well by the same gruff voice.
Kenny's side erupted into cheers as Luna's supporters did their best to console her.
"What was that?" Luna asked meekly of no one in particular. A small brown colt with a propeller hat was the one to answer.
"It's called a Critical Edge, it's a super move unique to every character. They're usually the most devastating attacks in the game."
"Hey, Luna." Luna looked up to see Kenny standing next to her still getting pats on the back for his performance. He held out his hand. "Good game."
Luna smiled taking his hand in hoof in a weird hand/hoof shake, "Good game."
The crowd dispersed and Luna looked around for another game to play. Kenny beat her to it.
"You wanna play Super Gryphon Bros. with me?" Kenny asked, pointing to an empty console in the corner.
Luna smiled, "Sure."
"How did you know that?" Luna asked as they both enjoyed pizza and a soda from the arcade's snack stand.
"The game is incredibly similar to one back home. I figured that the box would be in the same place. So, free one-up." Kenny said with a shrug.
"You are truly a game master." Luna said in awe.
"Not really, I can bet that half the colts here know tons more about these games than I do. I just have some experience is all." Kenny sipped away at his soda. It had been a long day of games. Kenny had politely shown Luna the ropes of gaming and she was quick and eager to learn. All in all it had been fun.
"Hey!" Luna said, an epiphany hitting her. "Why don't we have a rematch on The Crystal Blade! I bet I could beat you this time around!"
Kenny gave her his best competitive look, "You're on!"
They both rushed to the machine and took their places.
They only stopped once, and that was so Luna could raise the moon.
Author's Note
Early Update this week! Enjoy!
