My Roommate Is A (Rather Ditzy) Changeling

by Steambirds

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1371

A prank on Celestia that involves a gallon of vanilla pudding goes awry. Flame's prank reveals a pony to be a Changeling. A rather ditzy and goofy one to boot.

A prank on Celestia that involves a gallon of vanilla pudding goes awry. Flame's prank reveals a pony to be a Changeling. A rather ditzy and goofy one to boot.
Flame: Secretary, prankster and Celestia's personal assistant (and pain in the flank).
Mints: Changeling, born with four left hooves, might have a crush on a certain personal assistant (and pain in the flank) of Celestia.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-03 22:03:32 UTC

The Prank

The prank was perfect. Flame was going to take the package (which would send vanilla pudding everywhere when opened) up to Celestia in the middle of the parade in Canterlot.

"Princess! There is a package addressed to you!" Flame shouted as he ran up to Celestia, carrying the prank package on his back. He was panting and out of breath, he had to run from the front door of the castle all the way to the princess. Being shorter than most mares as a stallion didn't help either.

"Thank you," Celestia thanked him as she levitated the package over. The plan was going accordingly.

"Private Mints, may you open this package for me?" Celestia asked a guard next to her, a white unicorn stallion with a blonde mane and blue-green eyes, with a mint leaf and sword for a cutie mark.

"Yes Princess," he stoically said as he levitated the package over to him. This was not going as planned. He took a step away from the Princess of the Sun, and opened the package.

"What the he-" he cried as the package exploded, vanilla pudding and confetti going everywhere. Celestia and other nearby guards jumped in surprise.

"What the fu-What was that?!" Celestia demanded no-one in particular, nearly losing her cool. A few ponies looked quite surprised that the Princess knew such words.

"Private Mints, are you all right?" She asked the guard, who was now covered head to hoof in vanilla pudding and confetti.

"Uhh, yeah I think," he replied, wiping his face with a hoof. A black carapace hoof.

"Uhm..." he replied, looking at the Princess and her guards.

"He's a Changeling! Get him!" A tall yellow female guard shouted.

"No, don't arrest him," Celestia replied, raising a wing to block the guard's path. The guard looked at Celestia oddly.

"If anything, I know exactly what to do, and stop wearing those sunglasses. They're against uniform protocol," Celestia replied as she levitated the mirrored sunglasses off of the guard's face.

"Give them back!" the guard angrily said as she tried to grab the glasses.

"Ah ah! You'll have to jump higher!" Celestia playfully said, laughing as she raised the sunglasses higher.

"I'll just fly up ther-ah! Let go of my wings!" the guard spoke, protesting as Celestia pinned her wings to her sides. "That would be cheating, Sergeant."

"Damnit Princess, this isn't funny!"

"Uhm... I'll just get going now," the Changeling said as he slowly stepped away.

"Where are you going, bug boy?" asked a menacingly large guard that Mints bumped into.

"Uhm, nowhere..." Mints replied as he backed up from the guard, a rear hoof landing on a pony's flank as he stepped back.

"Oh my!" Celestia stated, her head turning to Mints as the offending limb touched her flank.

"Sorry Princess," Mints apologized, backing up into Flame as the menacing guard got closer.

"Hey, get your ass out of my face!" Flame shouted at Mints.

"That's quite enough Private Aegis," Celestia firmly said, raising a wing to stop the advancing guard.

"Princess, he is a Changeling, do you not remember what happened at the wedding?" he asked, giving Celestia a nervous glance.

"I do, however I cannot discriminate my subjects based on bad events that happened in the past. Flame, check our guard roster for any and all ponies with 'mint' in their names, and their last known location." Celestia replied to Aegis. "Everypony, the parade has ended!"

And with that, the upset crowd and their children left, leaving Celestia, Flame and Mints.

"Alright Flame, I want you to listen closely. I saw your 'prank' there, and it was not funny. As punishment for this, I'm going to have Mints spend a month or two with you." Celestia told the two ponies, frowning.

"Princess, what about checking the guard roster?" Flame asked, cocking his head to the side.

"What about it? I just said that to get the other ponies the hell out of here," she laughed, and then added, "Oh, and just call me Celestia, it bothers me so when I am called 'princess' in an informal setting."

"Noted, Prin-I mean Celestia," Flame responded, which caused Mints to laugh.

'Mints can't be all that bad,' Flame thought. Oh how wrong he would be.

And Lo, The Roommate-ing Did Commence!

"So, this is your room at the castle?" Mints asked, looking at the rather large room he was in. It was an open spaced design with a couch, coffee table and TV. There was a kitchen area and a balcony. The room had various shelves with loads of nick knacks on them: ship in a bottle, paintings, drawings, old computer parts, family photos, awards, and other trivial items. Hanging from the rafters of the room were other interesting objects: maps of the solar system and all things astronomical.

"Yeah, I live here. It's a just a touch better than the regular guard accommodations," Flame joked.

"Really? I didn't know the guards got such nice rooms!" Mints exclaimed, not picking up on Flame's sarcasm.

"I was joking around," Flame replied, sitting down on the couch. Mints flopped down next to him, looking at all of Flame's stuff.

"Wow, you sure have a lot of stuff!" Mints stated, looking at a painting on the wall.

"Indeed, I painted that one myself," he informed Mints, looking at the painting.

"But you're just an earth pony..." Mints replied in a confused manner. The painting in question was one of Luna and Celestia laying down on a couch, staring at the viewer, giving them "Bedroom Eyes".

"Yeah, and? Just because I don't have magic doesn't mean I cannot be good at writing," Flame replied, looking over at Mints.

"Well, it's just unusual for an earth pony to be so good at painting or writing with their mouth," Mints stated, looking back at Flame.

"I don't use my mouth, I use my hooves. It's a form of magic, I guess. It involves quite a bit of concentration." Flame corrected him. Mints was genuinely surprised: He didn't even think it was possible for earth ponies to learn magic in any form.

As Mints contemplated whether or not it was even possible for earth ponies to learn magic, his stomach grumbled.

"Looks like you're hungry. I guess I better start cooking. How does spaghetti sound?" Flame asked, standing up and trotting over to the kitchen.

"I wouldn't mind spaghetti. Sounds nice, even though I really don't have much use for pony food. Changelings run on love, y'know?" Mints spoke as he trotted after Flame.

"I once heard that Changelings could use pony food as a substitute for love, or simply consumed the love produced in making the food. Either way, if you try to bite my neck I'll break yours." Flame threatened, putting water in a pot and setting the pot on the stove.

"I won't bite you, I promise," Mints replied innocently.

"Good. Can you hand me some spaghetti noodles? They're in the cupboard over there," Flame asked, pointing to a tall wooden cupboard next to the refridgerator.

"Sure thing," Mints cheerfully replied, trotting over to the cupboard. He levitated the cupboard open, but noticed that around the corner lay a spiral staircase that lead up. He grabbed the spaghetti and tossed it over to Flame, and trotted up the stairs curiously.

Upon trotting up the stairs, Mints was met with a rather large library. Not one anywhere near the size of Canterlot's library or Ponyville's, but large nonetheless. The library was arranged in three areas: Adult, fiction, non-fiction. The two most populated sets of shelves were adult and fiction, oddly enough.

Mints, being the most indecisive reader of all time, simply settled on the nearest book with pictures. He didn't read the title, he simply opened it. What he found, well, he regretted his decision.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Flame shouted from the spiral staircase.

"Uhm, nothing!" Mints dropped the book to the floor, blushing furiously. He scooted the book under a small reading table.

"Don't go snooping around my library without my permission," Flame stalked away down the stairs.

"I'll be right there!" Mints quickly picked up the book and put it in a saddlebag.