A Mailmare named Derpy

by theirishbrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Carrot Top, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Berry Punch, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Bon-Bon, Romance
Length: 3980

What happens when Derpy is not on camera? This happens.

Derpy and her daughter Dinky are leaving Fillydelphia. What adventures will they have with their new friends in Ponyville?

Published 2012-03-06 14:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-06 14:54:01 UTC

Ponyville

"All aboard!" yelled the conductor as the train's whistle screamed at the gloomy morning sky of Fillydelphia.

"Wait! Wait!" yelled the grey-coated pegasus as she ran towards the train, her blond mane blowing in the breeze as she ran through the crowd and her eyes heavy with morning sleep.

"Tickets ma'am." Said the conductor as the pegasus came to a stop before him, having obviously just woken up and was exhausted.

"T-tickets?" she gasped as she desperately searched in her saddlebags for the two tickets.

"Here you go mommy" a squeaked high pitched voice.

The Pegasus looked to her right to see her filly, a pale purple unicorn holding two tickets in her mouth.

"Thank you muffin" she signed as she handed the tickets to the stallion.

"Derpy and Dinky Hooves?" the ticket stallion said, eyeballing the names on the tickets before letting the two ponies on the train with a: "Go on in."

Both Derpy and Dinky walked through the train cars, looking for a free seat. The train was bright and colorful with red and white strips on the inside compared to the dying city outside.

Every seat, left and right, was either full or didn't have room for two.

"See a seat anywhere?" Derpy asked her daughter tiredly.

"Umm," said Dinky before she spotted a free seat at the back of the third car. "Ooo! There's one!"

The two walked over to the two seats that were separated by a table, Derpy placed her bags in the luggage space above and sat down. There was an earth pony, whose eyes and coat were colored plum, while her mane was a mulberry in color, She was seated across from them drinking a Berrywiser Lite, a drink that Derpy had never heard of before; Her cutie mark was a bundle of grapes and a strawberry.

"Mommy?" Dinky asked. "Why do we have to leave again?"

"Because muffin," Derpy said, holding her daughter's hoof. "It's not safe here anymore."

It was true; the port city of Fillydelphia had seen better days and was not a place to raise a filly. The two sat in silence as the train jolted forward, before suddenly becoming aware of the earth pony watching them.

"Um… hello?" said Derpy.

"I'm sorry," said the earth pony, extending a hoof over the table to Derpy. "It's just I have a little sister back home and I know that this city is not the best place to raise her. I'm Berry Punch."

"Derpy Hooves and this is Dinky" Derpy replied with a smile, shaking the hoof and motioning to her daughter. "Are you heading to Ponyville too?"

"Yeah, I was just here visiting family."

"Oh, so you know what it's like then?"

"Sure, I'll show you around when we arrive," she paused before continuing with an eye roll. "Unless Pinkie does it first."

"Pinkie?"

"Yeah, Pinkie Pie. She's the party pony of Ponyville, she throws the best parties and make's every pony smile; even if she's a bit annoying."

"Well, I do love parties" said Derpy, as she and Berry exchanged a small laugh before looking off out the window.

The train was pushing though the grassy plains of Equestria as Celestia's sun rose higher into the air. The city of Fillydelphia was becoming just a small dot in the distance behind them.

"Um, I'm sorry for asking," said Berry awkwardly. "But what's wrong with your eyes?"

"It's a lazy eye," explained Derpy, returning her gaze to Berry form the window. "My eyes cross every now and then since I earned my cutie mark."

Berry couldn't resist looking down at the mare's cutie mark, a group of seven light blue bubbles.

"How did you get your cutie mark?" Berry asked

"I don't want to discuss it right now," said Derpy, a slight blush coloring her cheeks. "Maybe another time, it's a little embarrassing."

"Okay," replied Berry with a shrug. "But how can you even see?"

"Years of practice," the grey mare said offhandedly. "So, uh, what else can you tell me about Ponyville?"

"Well," said Berry, thinking hard. "We have Sweet Apple Acres, it's a family farm ran by the Apple family. They grow apples, make zap apple jam and the best cider in all of Equestria… Mmm, cider."

She was starting to drool.

"Must be really good, I'll have to grab a glass when we arrive."

"Can I have some too?" Dinky asked.

"When you're older." said Derpy looking down to her.

The filly replied with crossed hoofs, a disappointed face, and a huff.

"So as I was saying," Berry continued. "Another place to visit and to get your sweets is Sugercube corner. It's run by the Cake family, who also house Pinkie Pie. It's probably where your welcome party's going to be."

"Welcome party?"

"Yeah, whether you like it or not, Pinkie will throw a welcome party for you and will be your friend."

"Well, I could always use friends," said Derpy, her head drooping slightly. "I never had any in Fillydelphia"

"Aww" said Berry as she rubbed Derpy's shoulder. "Why?"

"Why do you think?" Derpy sighed, pointing to her eyes.

"Well that's a stupid reason to not be friends with somepony; I'll be your friend."

"Y-you will?" Derpy's face brightened.

"Sure, you're a great pony to chat with, and I'm sure my little sister, Ruby Pinch would love to play with Dinky here."

"Hehe," giggled Derpy. "I haven't even arrived in Ponyville and I'm already making friends."

The two mares chatted to one another on the train for the next couple of hours. They exchanged stories, Berry talked about her talent for making alcoholic beverages and her own bar back in Ponyville. Derpy talked about her love for muffins and her talent for making them, but strangely burned everything else.

They got along great.

"So that's when I said, do you like bananas?" Berry said, in the middle of a joke.

"Attention everypony!" one of the train ticket-stallions said as he walked in the car. "We are pulling into Ponyville station, please enjoy your stay."

Everypony started to gather their bags as the train pulled into Ponyville station.

"Prepare yourself," Berry said, warning her friend as the three walked though the aisles of the train. "Pinkie Pie will be waiting."

The two mares and filly walked off the train, trying to blend in with the crowd, but there was no escape from the bouncing pink earth pony coming their way.

"Hi Berry! How was your super-duper visit with your family?" Asked Pinkie Pie, a big grin on her face and her hair more puffy that usual.

"Oh um, It was fine Pinkie. I'm just glad to be back home in time for the Summer Sun Celebration."

"Summer Sun Cele-" Derpy tried to question, before being cut off by Pinkie.

"Oh yeah, we need to throw a party to welcome you back! Oh, who's this?" Pinkie said as she took notice of Derpy and Dinky. "And what's with your eyes, they're pretty."

"Hehe, thank you" she said, blushing slightly. "Oh um, I'm Derpy Hooves and this is my daughter Dinky."

"Nice to meet you Derpy, I'm Pinkie Pie and I would love to be your friend!" Pinkie said as she shook her hoof rapidly.

"Told you" Berry whispered in her ear.

"Ooo, I need to throw a welcome to Ponyville, Derpy party now! I'll make it a double party! It'll be called welcome to Ponyville Derpy and welcome back to Ponyville Berry party! There'll be streamers, balloons, cupcakes and pies! I better go get started."

She then bounced away, humming a strange tune.

"She's something isn't she?" Berry said, elbowing Derpy.

"She's very... hyper. She needs to lay off the caffeine."

"Believe it or not, it's all natural." Berry said, before blanching. "It would be suicide to give her even a drop of caffeine."

"She's weird" Dinky finally spat out.

"Muffin," Derpy chided. "It's not nice to call somepony that, even if it is true."

Berry's face twisted up as she tried to contain her laughter.

"So what was that about the Summer Sun Celebration?" Derpy asked.

"Oh yeah," Berry said, trying to contain her excitement. "It's being held here in Ponyville in two weeks, Princess Celestia, herself, will be here!"

"Sounds like you're excited."

"Oh yes, the need to stay up all night to watch the sunrise will surely increase business sales for me. Pony's need to drink sometimes you know?"

All of them exchanged a short burst of laughter, except Dinky, who didn't understand the concept of alcohol.

"So I guess I'll show you around, since Pinkie is busy party planning."

"Well, let's go then."

Derpy, Dinky, and Berry walked from the train station towards the town's center, the sun was nearly halfway in the sky, its rays were soaked up by the wings of the blond pegasus. The weather was being cleared up overhead, mainly by a rainbow-maned pegasus.

"Such a beautiful day," said Derpy, breathing in the fresh air of Equestria. "We never got these much in Fillydelphia. The factory's always made it so smoggy and there was no fresh air."

"Yes it is a beautiful day isn't it? You're going to love living here." Berry said, a smile on her face, before realizing something about her new friend. "Oh wait, you don't have a place to stay, do you, or job for that matter."

"Oh don't worry about it," Derpy lied. "I'm sure there's a hotel nearby."

"But mommy," said Dinky with worry in her voice. "You didn't bring any money with you."

"We'll find a way muffin" she said, trying to sound convincing.

"No you're not," said Berry affronted by the very idea. "No friend of mine is going to go homeless and hungry. You're more than welcome to stay with me until you can afford a place."

"Oh Berry; I can't possibly do that to somepony I just met today."

"I insist," said Berry placing a hoof over her chest. "I couldn't live with myself knowing I left you two homeless."

"Thank you Berry," Derpy said, giving the earth pony a hug. "You're too kind."

"No problem, though I would suggest getting a job at delivering mail, they are always looking for pegasus ponies.

"I'll take a look at it tomorrow, after I enroll Dinky in school."

"What?" the filly whined to her mother. "Do I have too?"

"I'm sorry muffin, but yes. Don't worry; you'll meet lots of new friends at school."

"Yeah and remember, you got my little sister Ruby pinch to meet- Oh sweet Celestia! I forgot!" Berry Punch yelled as she remembered.

"What?"

"I need to go pick up Ruby Pinch, now that I'm back in town. Come on, follow me!" she yelled as she galloped off.

Derpy quickly picked up Dinky, put her on her back and ran off to catch up with her friend.

Derpy was galloping along with Berry as the two reached the edge of town. The tall orange barn with a carrot on top stood out in the distance ahead of them.

"Where are we?" Derpy asked as they came to a slow trot.

"I asked my friend, Carrot Top to watch over Ruby Pinch while I was out of town. She's a carrot farmer and has a rivalry with Applejack sometimes, but they are good friends in the end."

"Applejack?"

"oopes, silly me. Applejack is one of the family members that run Sweet Apple Acres and you know, apples and carrots don't mix."

"Hehe, I suppose they don't."

The three came up to the door of the house and knocked. Derpy could see the inside from a window; it was orange everywhere! The walls, the floor and the furniture were all orange. She could see several pictures of what she guessed were the family; all had some sort of relation to carrots. After a few moments the door opened, the mare that stood in front of them had curly orange hair, yellow coat, green eyes and three carrots for her cutie mark.

"Oh Berry Punch, you're back! How was the trip and who…" said Carrot Top, the mare who answered the door, before taking notice of the pegasus her eyes lingering before catching herself. "… Is this?"

It was too late; Derpy shielded her eyes and hung her head low, thinking that a laugh would come any second now.

"No, no, no I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stare, that was rude of me. Hi, I'm Carrot top, you can call me Carrot" she said, extending a hoof to try and make up for it.

Derpy, hearing the apology, lifted her head and shook hooves with her.

"I'm Derpy Hooves, you can call me Derpy," replied Derpy before introducing her daughter. "And this is my daughter Dinky."

"New friend huh Berry? Where ever did you find her?"

"She was on the train with me and going to be living here now."

"Well, any friend of Berry is a friend of mine" Carrot said with a smile. "Oh but, Berry, I'm guessing you're here to pick up Ruby huh? I'll call her down." She turned and shouted into the house, "Ruby, your sister is here!"

The sounds of rapid hoof movement and the clip-clop of hooves as two fillies came down the orange stairs echoed through the house. When the two reaching the ground floor and caught sight of Dinky, their eyes went as wide before:

"New friend!" they both screamed as they rushed to Dinky's side.

"Hi, I'm Ruby!" One said, excitedly. "What's your name?"

Ruby had a pink mane, light pink coat, darkish blue eyes, and no cutie mark.

"Um, Dinky" she said, a little surprised at the two fillies.

"And I'm Noi, Carrot's little sister." The other filly proudly announced.

Noi's coat and mane were light shades of orange while her eyes were a violet color. She too had no cutie mark.

"Ruby you're scaring her." Berry said.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Ruby apologized before asking. "Hey Dinky, do you want to come upstairs and play with me and Noi?"

"Um, sure," replied Dinky, before asking her mother. "Can I mommy?".

"Sure Dinky, I mean is that okay with you Golden?"

"Sure, I'm not really busy at the moment."

"Yay!" screamed Ruby and Noi as they rushed upstairs while Dinky lagged behind, looking back to her mother.

"Have fun muffin!" Derpy called to her.

"Well we got to go Carrot," said Berry, watching the last filly scamper up the stairs. "I've got to show Derpy here around town, but we'll see you at the party at Sugercube corner tonight."

"Oh Pinkie and her parties" Carrot giggled. "I'll see you two later then, also make sure you stop by Bon-Bon's, she has a new chocolate recipe."

"Ok I will, bye." Berry said as Carrot closed the door.

"Bon-Bon?" Derpy asked as the two walked down the dirt road towards Ponyville.

"Yeah, she's another one of my friends; she runs a chocolate shop in town and is usually with Lyra, another friend."

"What does Lyra do?"

"She helps out with Bon-Bon in the shop; her dream is to play her lyre at the Grand Gala. I hope she gets there, she deserves it. Enough talk, Bon-Bon's chocolates are waiting!"

With that, Berry and Derpy galloped off towards Ponyville.

It was nearly dusk by the time the earth pony and pegasus pony arrived, the sign of Bon-Bon's Chocolates sign hung in front of the store. It's letters we're the color of chocolate while the rest of the sign was a pale green color. The soft sound of a lyre was heard from the inside.

"Well, *gasp*, we're here" Berry said as she tried to catch her breath. "How are you not tired after that run?"

"Um, wings" Derpy said as she landed next to Berry.

"Oh… yeah, but you did crash a lot" Berry snickered.

"I just don't know what went wrong." Derpy said as her eyes tried to straighten out.

"It seems that Lyra is in the middle of one of her songs. I think it's called... Simmer and Bliss. Lovely isn't it?"

Derpy looked like she was on the verge of tears when she started to listen to it.

"Aww don't worry," Berry said. "I felt the same way when I first listened to them."

The two mares opened the door and stepped inside the shop.

The inside of the shop looked like a chocolate heaven, the walls were pink and blue striped and glass cases of chocolates, cakes, and bon-bons were everywhere. In the back of the shop, next to the register, was a light blue maned and coated unicorn, she was slowly playing the sweet music on her lyre with her eyes closed and was sitting in an odd position. A cream-colored earth pony was walking towards Berry and Derpy; her eyes too, were also closed.

"Welcome to Bon-Bon's chocolates, how may I he- oh Berry it's you," said the cream colored pony as she opened her eyes.

"Welcome back. Who's your friend?"

Her mane was a navy blue color with a pink stripe down the middle; she had light blue eyes and had three pieces of wrapped candy for a cutie mark.

"This is my new friend Derpy;" Berry said with a smile. "I met her on the train back to Ponyville and offered her a place to stay until she can afford one."

"Well welcome to Ponyville Derpy, I'm Bon-Bon and that's my friend Lyra Heartstrings behind me, you can call her lyra" She said as she pointed to the unicorn behind her, who had now stopped playing. Derpy could see now that her cutie mark was a lyre.

"I heard you had a new chocolate recipe Bon-Bon" said Berry, her mouthwatering at the thought of the new taste."

"In fact I do" said Bon-Bon as she rushed over to a glass case and grabbed a plate of brown squares. "I call them Bon-Bon's Best Brownies, try one."

Both Berry and Derpy took one of the offered brownies.

"These are amazing!" Berry said as she bit into the brownie.

"They are," said Derpy taking a bite of her own. "What did you put in them?"

"Oh you know, simple brownie ingredients, but I also added some honey and some Canterlot grade cocoa powder," she said, rubbing the back of her neck in surprise. "I would have more, but it seems that somepony had eaten the last batch I made" Bon-Bon said as she looked over at Lyra, who was now starting to blush.

"H-Hey I can't help myself," Lyra said with a big grin on her face. "Those things are good."

Derpy and Berry exchanged odd glances and returned to eating the brownies.

"So uh, there is a party later tonight at Sugercube corner," Berry asked, finishing her brownie. "You two wanna come?"

"Sure, we'll be there," replied Bon-Bon before grinning mischievously. "But first I need to teach Lyra a lesson about brownie eating"

"Okay…" said Berry in an odd tone "I guess we'll be going now, we'll see you two at the party."

Lyra and Bon-Bon let out a breath of relief as Berry and Derpy left the shop.

"Think they suspect anything?" Lyra asked.

"Nah, it's not that obvious is it?" Bon-Bon replied.

"Of course not."

"I hope so; I don't know how they would take the news. So what was that about eating my brownies?"

Lyra gulped and her cheeks flushed red. Bon-Bon walked over to the door and turned the sign from open to close. Lyra was going to get it now.

Derpy and Berry were walking down the streets of Ponyville towards Sugercube corner; Celestias sun was now setting, ready to make way for her moon.

"Did something about those two seem-"

"Odd" Berry finished. "Yeah I saw it too, something's up with those two, I know it. Personally I think that they are in love with each other."

"No, really?" Derpy asked in surprise.

"Yep, you saw how Lyra blushed when Bon-Bon was talking to her that way. I think that they are in love and don't want us to know about it."

"Why don't you just ask?"

"And if I'm wrong?"

"Hmm, good point" Derpy thought out loud, she knew the outcome would not be good.

"They can't keep it a secret forever though" Berry said with an evil smile.

It was completely dark by the time they arrived at Sugercube corner, the only light came from inside and from the streetlamps. Sugercube corner, even though was hard to see at night, looked like an oversized gingerbread house, frosting and all.

"Please tell me that this place isn't really gingerbread?" Derpy asked.

"If it were, Pinkie would have eaten it by now" Berry giggled.

The two walked up to the shop and went in.

"Surprise!" Yelled Pinkie as she jumped out of nowhere. "Do you like your party? Do yeah, do yeah, do yeah?"

"Love it Pinkie, you never cease to amaze me."

"Aww thanks Berry, what about you Derpy? Umm Derpy?"

Derpy was absolutely star struck, though all the party guests, balloons, food, and streamers, there was a lone muffin sitting only feet away.

"Muffin" she said slowly and as quick as a flash she leaped over and devoured it in one bite.

"Whoa, she sure does like muffins, doesn't she? I'll make some more!" Pinkie said and bounced off towards the kitchen.

"I guess you weren't fillying around on the train when you said you liked muffins" Berry said as she walked over to Derpy.

"Yep," said Derpy with a content smile. "I make it a goal to eat one muffin per day."

Derpy and Berry began to party, pony's introduced themselves to Derpy and welcomed back Berry. Everypony was getting along nicely. The door then opened and Carrot Top and three fillies came rushing in.

"Mommy!" Dinky screamed as she ran back over to embrace with her mother.

"Hey muffin, how was your time with Golden Harvest?"

"It was great mommy! Me, Ruby, and Noi played all sorts of games and had lots of fun."

"I'm glad you had fun, I hope she wasn't too much trouble Carrot," Derpy said, looking from her daughter to the older mare.

"Not at all, she was well behaved and had lots of fun, which is more than I can say for Noi here" she said as she looked to her side.

"Hey, how was I supposed to know that carrot juice stained rugs?" Noi said in surprise.

All six mares and fillies exchanged some laughter while two more guests walked through the door.

"Well, well, look whose here" Berry said as Bon-Bon and Lyra walked in. "What kept you two?"

"No-nothing" said Bon-Bon, she blushed a little.

"Riiiight, well don't let me stop you from enjoying the party. Have fuu-u-uun." Berry said squinting her eyes at the two, who were now blushing.

Bon-Bon and Lyra walked off towards the awaited party. Derpy couldn't help feeling that she was being watched somehow, she turned her head around and saw a brown stallion with an hourglass cutie standing a few feet from her, staring at her. The stallion immediately blushed and walked away, she felt her cheeks grow hot as well.

"Hey Berry," Derpy asked pointing towards the stallion who was now walking out the door. "Who's that?"

"That is Doctor Whooves, he is a great inventor in town, but he is always so mysterious," Berry replied before questioning: "Why did you ask?"

"Oh, no reason, no reason at all," Derpy said, hoping her friend would buy it.

She did.

"Ok then, well come on then! We got a lot of party left and Pinkie just brought out more muffins."

Derpy joined her friends and partied the rest of the night.

She was happy now, happy that she was with friends, her new friends.