Cold Drinks and Warm Hearts

And the drink falls onto the table.

“Boom! That’s three in a row!” I shove the glass away for it to join its empty brethren at the edge of the table, then kick back, putting my legs up and resting my head on the booth seat. This thing is pretty dang comfortable for a bar. Don’t beat a cloud bed, though.

“Y’know yer supposed t’ keep yer feet off, don’tcha Rainbow?” There’s the deadbeat forever Applejack talking to me from across the table. She doesn’t look impressed with how much I can swallow. What a bummer. She doesn’t seem to understand the meaning of letting loose. Makes me wonder why she even came here in the first place.

So it’s even more annoying when she actually pushes my legs off so I’m supposed to sit normally like any other loser. I roll my eyes at her ignorance, then nod to her one half full glass of hot apple cider. She shrugs and takes a small sip. “Ah jus’ don’t wanna see ya make a fool outta yourself.”

“Thank you for your concern, Nick Worry, but I can hold my alcohol just…” Just… Uh, lost my train of thought. I look to the wood ceiling, which is looking a little bit wavier than it did a few minutes ago. I tap myself on the head and focus on whatever it is Applejack is saying.

“...with tendin’ to the fields, tryin’ to keep the snow from eatin’ away at the crops, Ah’m a little on edge.” She smiles and takes another swig, a definite improvement over a sip.

“More than a little, AJ.”

“Okay, a lot.” Another drink. That’s more like it. Her smile is coming back full force. That’s the Applejack I know. “Okay, so if you promise not to make a complete ass of yourself, I’ll let the party side of me out.”

I look at her with bewilderment. “Seriously? Since when do I—”

She cocks her brow at me. “Remember Snowflake?”

“Yeah, that hurt…”

“And the bag of bits with the mayonnaise—”

“Ugh, that poor cat—”

“We can’t show our faces around the bowling alley again!”

“I told the waitress I was sorry!” I sigh. Speaking of waitresses, I raise my arm up and signal for another drink. In a manner of moments I will have my fourth, and I’ve officially decided, last glass of cider for the evening. “Yeah, you’ve made your point. One more drink and I’m done.” Almost as if on queue, that drink lands right next to me. I take a greedy gulp of the stuff and let it hit the table. I let out an epic belch.

Props to Applejack for having enough of a sense of humor to chuckle. “Nice one.”

“In Prance that’s a compliment to whoever made the food.” I stir the cider a little, then rethink my words. “Uh, in this case, drink.”

She props one arm up on the top of her booth, smirking as if she were the one to make the cider. Wait… “Thanks.”

I slap myself lightly on the forehead. “I freakin’ knew it! This stuff tasted real familiar.”

Applejack’s smirk just keeps growing. I can tell she’s about to go into one of her sales pitches. “Yeah, Granny Smith came up with a way to keep sellin’ cider durin’ winter. Anythin’ not worth sellin’ ‘round cider season gets put in the cellar to ferment. We bust that stuff out when the weather starts gettin’ cold, heat it up and serve it in mugs ‘round town.”

“That’s… actually really awesome. And hey, thanks for leaving math out of it.” Now with a new appreciation for the cider of Sweet Apple Acres, I continue to drain my glass. However, I take care to swish it about in my mouth to take in the flavor properly. I gotta show Applejack I care. About the cider. Ahem.

“Not much for mathematics mahself, Rainbow. So, yer welcome.” She says that with a twinkle of southern hospitality.

I try to change the conversation to dodge around the fact that I’m looking at the unbuttoned portion of her plaid blouse. The first topic I think of is flying, but she doesn’t need to hear me brag. My mind keeps going back to Sweet Apple Acres anyway. Maybe I can steer the conversation on a slight detour. “Is that how you can afford so many farmhands these days?”

“Yep, and they’re a real help. We’ve actually gotten to expand our field for the first time in over a decade, thanks to that fact.” AJ starts stroking her chin. “Though, some of them look a li’l too happy out there.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

She shrugs it off and takes another sip of her own glass. “Nah. They just start actin’ all fuzzy when Apple Bloom and I get to work on our daily chores.”

It’s kinda an open secret why exactly that happens. In fact, everypony who knows Apple Bloom knows. Except AJ. She’s oblivious as all get-out to what her little sister does with the farmhands when she’s not looking. But I’m not about to intrude on Bloom’s fun. I know how white knight AJ goes whenever Bloom does so much as curse in her presence.

AJ, in my honest, awesome opinion, needs to take a few hints from Big Macintosh. That lug pretty much defines the word chill. Like, in a dictionary, a picture of his rugged mug would be right there next to the word.

And speak of Chrysalis, there he is now. Evidently he’s packed on enough fur to survive the frigid weather without wearing at least three layers. He’s just wearing a plain black shirt. He’s strutting into the bar with two barrels of cider over each arm.

“Last load,” he says. Dude of few words, as per usual. He drops them down behind the counter where the bartender stands.

And then there’s a flurry of pink wearing a blue vest over a red striped sweater and an orange miniskirt. Pinkie Pie, wearing clothes that looks like an ADHD kindergartner got access to Rarity’s boutique, cartwheels across the counter, grabbing a tap in mid-spin. She defies gravity by leaping into the air and slamming the tap into one of the barrels. Then she skips over to Big Mac and gives him a hug. Well, more like a glomp.

“Thank you thank you thank you! This batch of cider made this the best Hearth’s Warming Eve party ever!” She spins in a circle, then dizzily falls back into a booth where Apple Bloom, of all ponies, is sitting. “Hiya, Bloom! Enjoying the drinks?”

Apple Bloom unhumorously takes a drink of something that isn’t cider. Ah, it’s Sir Cilantro. That drink sucks. I’m more of a Nymph fan myself.

Pinkie doesn't wait for a response from Apple Bloom to roll away in a somersault and hop to her feet. How she manages to pull all that off and not run out of breath is a complete mystery that I'm more comfortable not figuring out.

That's enough sight-seeing, at least beyond the farmgirl in front of me.

"So Dash," she says, when my attention is back on the booth. "How's yer schedule treatin' ya? Ah know you've been workin' hard ta get into the Wonderbolts, yet you've still had time ta manage the weather team." She chuckles, scratching her neck before knocking back an appreciative swig of her cider. "Ah don't know how ya do it. Did ya have ta drop your naps completely?"

Ah, now there is a conversation I can carry without any awkward silences. "Actually, I managed to merge both nap time and my afternoon shifts." And here comes the part where she asks how that is even possible.

"Aren't yer afternoon shifts s'posed ta take the whole afternoon? What d'ya do, sleep till th' last minute and then zip about like a mare with a bee in her bonnet?"

"Well, yeah, but with a lot less similes." Setting my glass down and folding my arms, I give AJ a cocky smile, one that can show anypony that I'm the boss. "What, you need to know when and how long you can watch me? Wouldn't be the first."

She smiles too, and I feel mine fall a bit. What does she have to make her so smug? "Well, Ah already know how long Ah can watch ya, Rainbow Dash, Ah've been watchin' ya sleep in mah trees since ya first came to Ponyville!"

Not gonna lie, that's pretty damn romantic.

“Ain’t it? And y’all just say the cutest things when yer snoarin’.”

...Did I say that out loud?

"Eeyup," Big Mac says as he walks past our booth.

I slam my palm into the table and turn to the big guy as he swaggers away. "Well, don't you just have perfect timing!" He doesn't pay attention to me, instead sitting at a barstool at the counter next to Spitfire. I turn back to AJ, who looks like she's stifling her laughter with a metaphorical cork. "Sorry about that... it's the cider, I..." Wait a moment.

My gaze snaps back to Big Mac. Yep, just as I thought, he's sitting right next to Spitfire, smiling away and sharing a guffaw with her.

Spitfire.

Big Mac. And...

Excuse me while I pick my jaw up from the floor.

My hearing goes mute for a second as I grind my teeth together. I want to turn away out of sheer rage and jealousy but I keep my eyes glued on them just to make sure I'm looking at something real. Oh, there he goes. Big Mac just touched her shoulder. And I bet he hasn't said a word other than "Eeyup," or "Nope," yet he’s already laying on the smoulder something ridiculous.

"That... that... GUY!" I point in Big Mac's general direction. I don't care if he hears me at this point. "J'accuse! I call shenanigans!" I wheel back around to AJ. I expect her to be just as shocked as I am, but she looks just as laid back as ever. Laid back over the fact that her freakin' big bro is schmoozing up the freakin' captain of the freakin' Wonderbolts!

"So ya finally noticed, Rainbow Dash?" I hate that smug smile. Every time I fumble, she slips into it like the sexiest lingerie from Rarity's boutique, I... erm...

"Uh, y-yeah, so?" I take another drink from my mug, regretting that it it’s so close to empty. I had promised only one more, but the burning in my cheeks tells me I may need to break that promise. To handle the anger. That’s all it is. I mean... Spitfire! What's up with that?!

"She's been hangin' out 'round our house fer a few months now, checkin' up on yer progress from a distance. She an' Big Mac hit it off pretty well, not that Ah'd know how, but they seem to be real friendly towards one another." AJ chortled, that infuriatingly cute smile levelled at me with half-lidded eyes. "What's it to ya, sugarcube?"

I turn to the side and act like I'm talking to somepony who isn't there. I do my best to mimic AJ's country accent. "Why howdy there, RD! Just thought Ah'd mention that the mare you admire and strive to equal is jus' a five minute flight from your house! Oh well, you'll jus' hear about it in casual conversation." I drop that accent and point to AJ, followed by a round of sarcastic applause. "Element of Honesty, everypony!"

"Ah never was dishonest, Dash, y'all just never asked." That smug smile is still planted firmly on her face, like a flower’s taken root there. Wonder how she’ll feel if I just reach over and defloweremerrglyerg... Dammit.

I knock back the rest of my drink. My face is pretty much on fire. "Well!" I say a little too loudly. "I'm all outta drink, and I said I wasn't gonna have any more. Looks like I should just make my way outta here!"

"Y'know," AJ starts, taking yet another sip of her drink. In my rage, I hadn’t noticed that she’s down to the drops. "Why don't we have just one more t'gether?” She raises her arm up. “Hey, Chardonnay! Let's get another round over here!"

The waitress nods and starts pouring another round of cider. I glower at Applejack for a second, before my attention is torn away by somepony shouting my name. "Daaaashhiiiiie~!" I look up, only to be bounced out of my seat and right into Pinkie's... erm...

"Grrbmlerf- Pinkie!" I yell, face burning as Applejack hoots at me.

I'm all for a glomp, but this is just ridiculous. I fumble around with my arms and push Pinkie away, only to look down and realize I'm grabbing handfuls of, well... marshmallow. I quickly withdraw my hands and stuff them both in my pockets. The pink party pony doesn't look offended, though. In fact, she's just giggling like always. "Sorry~! just wanted to say that I was leaving early!" She looks at me, her smile widening as my face falls a bit in surprise, before my brow furrows.

"Pinkie, wha..? Why're you leaving early? You threw this party!" I point at her semi-accusingly, definitely feeling confused. What makes her so eager to up and ditch? We've only been here at most an hour...

"Yup yup! I threw it over here, like throwing a shoe, but I've got something else I need to do over there! Ah! Ah! Ah! Noooo questions! I can't tell anypony, or donkey, or drake, or thing! Not until it's time!" She shivers as if her back was being tickled, before fluttering her left eye like a flag in the wind. "Ooh, I gotta go now, bye~!"

She hops over the booth, dropping some bits on the waitress' tray. Without even stopping, she zips out the door, leaving me flabbergasted, even as another cider is set in front of me.

"Welp, there goes the life of the party," says AJ. She takes her new mug and takes a very large chug. "Soon as Pinkie leaves, somepony else is gonna follow until the place is deader than a dead doornail."

I follow the farmgirl's example. "Eh. Not exactly her most exciting party anyway." Aside from the part where I got glomped. "Still, in all honesty, and yes, I realize the irony of saying that, I'm having a good time."

Applejack's smugness is gone now, replaced with a much more warm and endearing smile. She looks at me with half-lidded eyes. "Me too, Rainbow. Ah tell ya, ever since Bloom hit her teenage years, she spends all day out of the house. And with Big Mac bein', heh, Big Mac, I don't have much a' anypony to talk to outside of social gatherin's." She looks a little too happy to be saying something so depressing.

I rap my fingers along the table, trying to think of a way to cheer her up. As I do, my sight goes over to a booth far across the way, where I see Braeburn chilling out and talking enthusiastically to somepony else. Can't quite see who from behind Applejack's seat. "Well, at least your cousin is in town for the Hearth's Warming. You two are tight, right?"

"Eh, 'bout as tight as cousins can be, really. Not nearly as tight as Babs an' Bloom, though. Those two mix like a Smith an' Caramel, they go so well t'gether. 'Bloom's headin' to the Big Orange soon ta hang out with Babs an' her family for a bit. Maybe see if she can put her talents ta work up there at all."

"What is 'Bloom's talent, anyways?" I ask. I was at a Wonderbolt training drill when she'd had her cutecinera, and the thought to ask slipped my mind.

"Architecture and carpentry. Her cutie mark is a hammer over an apple."

"Huh," I say at length. "I haven't really had any reason to look at her flank, and she hasn't started wearing her mark on any of her clothes. Why not? You wear yours on your jeans' back pocket, I wear my necklace,” I show off the chain wrapped around my neck, with my famous rainbow bolt, “and Rarity wears hers on her dresses. Why doesn't Bloom wear hers?"

"It might have ta do with Scootaloo," Applejack says as she takes another drink.

“Ah.” Yeah, I'm just as surprised as anypony else. The squirt’s already getting into quite a few extreme sports competitions, and has the medals and trophies to prove her worth. One would think she'd have gotten her mark already.

Applejack frowns. "Ah think Bloom doesn't wear hers to show that she's still supportin’ Scoots. Sweetie wears unmarked clothes when she’s not on tour, too."

I feel a bit of pride swell in my heart. "Well damn... Those three really are best friends forever, huh?"

"Heh, yeah. No matter what, they'll always be the CMC, huh?" We both raise our glasses, knock 'em back, and slam them down. "Room for another, Dash?"

"You know it!"

Before I can pause to start staring at Applejack again in all of her kind yet cocky beauty, there's another glass of sweet warm cider put in front of me. My oh my, is it a beautiful sight. And the cider looks pretty damn enticing too.

"Hey, Rainbow." I look up to the farmgirl as she gives me another half-lidded stare. She looks incredibly huggable all of a sudden, especially with her chin resting on her hands. Her lips curl into an even bigger smile. "We both like to sate our competitive sides, right?"

"Hell yeah," I say with a slight slur. "What, you wanna compete me for best drinker? I'm already three ahead of you."

I'm about to grab my latest glass, but an orange hand stops me, holding my own and running fingers over my knuckles. Jeez... her palms are really rough... Of course they are, she's a working mare. But they feel nice. These hands have experience... "Wait, before we get all reckless and roughin', we have to agree on somethin'."

I laugh, but for all intents and purposes I have no idea why. "What? We sealing it with a kiss?"

The orange mare's smile becomes sly and wicked. "Well, if ya want to, it's fine with me."

"You're evil," I mutter as she starts laughing too.

"No matter who wins, Ah'm payin' for the tab. And one other thing..."

"Yeah, what?"

Applejack leans over and taps me on the muzzle. "You'll be in no condition to fly home, so yer comin' back to Sweet Apple Acres with me."

Stuff like this is exactly how my nights go from idle chit-chat with people I know or don't know and become something genuinely fun and interesting. I'm not saying I'm a heavy drinker, nor do I advocate doing this regularly (Especially since I have a little sister to look after these days), but hey, I've got nothing better to do this Hearth's Warming Eve. Let's go bonkers.

Applejack and I finish this round simultaneously, and announce that fact with a synchronized belch. Unfortunately for me, hers is far louder and lengthier. So she has me beat in that regard, but that's not what this competition is about. She's already well down on her second by the time I manage to get the glass up to my lips. My grip is betraying me.

The room is spinning like a basket of fruit on a windmill, but I'm still ahead by two tankards. Or is it three? Applejack's got a cute as all heck dopey smile on her face, as if she'd just won the Mulitzer Prize for the most Upstanding Mare in Equestria.

Down goes my next serving, but Applejack has already caught up to me... If I didn't know any better, I'd say she tipped the waitress to sabotage me... Serves me right for what I did at the Iron Pony competition. I mean, it was years ago, but, agh… Down the hatch again!

Applejack's expression becomesss... somethin'. Her face is jussa jumble a' eyes and freckleses addis point. But I’s ain’t loosin’ dis ‘un! Gotsta reach mah fingers ‘round dat glassa guud stuv… Damn ya, hand, wahrk wis me… I can’t move mah fingers right. Heh… Dat’s funny. Dunno why, is just… Heheh.

Mah head hisdah taybull. But Ah’m so damn indisdrugdable Accan’t feela damn thin’. I laugh out lahowd for sumeffin’ reezin. But das mebee waz a bad ahdea. Mah stummik ain’t likin’ meh right nahow. Issa might lose mah lunch… and dinna.

"Alright, Rainbow." Ay Jay swims, er, stands down- I mean, up, ouwwa her seat and reaches fa me. "Contest over. Yer drunk."

"Y-you're naht drunk, Awm drunk!" I point a’ her. All sevena her… They all real seckzy.

She sighs, and it echoes 'cross mah field of vision, er, hearin’. I can’t even tell where she izzat this point. She might be beaand me, or next ta me.

“Shoulda known this would be a bad idea…”

"Yawr a bahd ideah.”

Sudd'ly, I'm flyin', but I'nt really no when, but it's still softs... mmm.... Lookn’ up… Therez a pretty face. Applejacks‘s lookin’ at me. She ain’t ‘shamed, ‘fanyithin’, she jus’ thinks Ah look cute. Sheeza smilin’, lookin’ so con… con… content. She putzon ‘er hat and gitzer fur coat. She lookin’ so badass cowgirl in dat… She has her arms wrapped around my back ‘n sheez holdin’ me, and it feels… guhd. Like I’m being huggled by a soft... brick wall.

“One way trip to Sweet Apple Acres, comin’ right up.”

Ay Jay opahns the door, nah, she kickzit op’n... an’ its gettin’ reeeeeal cold. Stoopid snow… I oughta puncha windigo. Sheya’s reel stron’ ta hold meh like dis. Sheesa so strong. Ain’t ev’nabit drunk. Mebeh ‘lil tipzy. Sheeza swayin’ a bit.

‘Sall garbleled ta mee, but ah canzeear peepulz sing’n Harf’s Warmin’ songzin da streets. Deyr so gud at dat… ‘Sareal pritty Hart’s Warmen’s Eve. Ahl the culuhful decorashins, all da red ‘n’ white ‘n green. Agh, and da street lahts makin’ da snow so pritty. “I taekit back, snow! Yoozis beautifahl.” ‘Sstill cold, doh… I git a lilbit clozer ta Ay Jay… She so wahrm, mmm. I reechup and wrap mah armzrounder neck’n squeeze… “Yoozis bootiful too.”

She’za laughin’, an’ she bringz meah li’l bit closada her. Ahz can smeller hair… Smellin’ like straw’n appulz. Acourse she smellz lahk appulz. Ah stickout mah tung an’ licky ‘er ear. Even ‘er fer tastes nahce, an’ her gigglezes so aduhrable. I can’t ‘elp it. Ah bites down ahner ‘ear.

She ain’t complainin’, sos I keeps nippin’. “Somepony’s feelin’ a little playful,” she sez.

“Yoozis so awzum, Ay Jay…” I sez back. I nipper ‘gain, makin’ her giggle summore. “You carryin’ meh home in yer big strahng arms. Yoozis mah knight’n shin’ armor.”

“Ah know. Better than the actual Shinin’ Armor, huh?”

“Thas wha Ah juss said.”

Da muzik’s goin’ ‘way now… Ah cain see snow covehd trees an’ large open feeld. “Ey…” I pat Ay Jay on da back. “Werewe goin’?”

“Ah already told you,” she sez all patientlike, “we’re going to the Acres.”

Ah yeh… dasrite. “Ah fergot.” I nezzle mah head in da naepa her neck. ‘Sso warm an’ snuggly. “Yer so awezum. I luz ya so bad.”

I know she’da stroke ma cheek if she wernt carrin me. She juss nuzzlez meh ins’ed, n’ holds meh closa taher. “Yeah, love ya too…”

Ah git a handfulla ‘er hairs n’ brushem wid mah fingerses. Dudn’t jus’ smell like straw, feelzis liekit, too. ‘Er grip curls ‘round mah ass. Nawt ‘tirely sher if sheezes meanin’ tah do dat… Feels nahs doh… Sweet Celemestia, I’m real tires… ‘N Ay Jayz so werm I thinks I’zis gun’ use her asa blanket er somethin’... Restin’ mah cheek ‘genst da furra her coat, I’s just gonna close mah eyes for a mint...

"Ki-ow!" I fall from da dream, mah heads waken me's awake. I groan around, lookseein', but not where... Wait, where wases I? Mmm… Ah things I wuz in a bar. Or wuz I? Nah, I was flyin’... Ans’ I remembah somepony stron’ carryin’ me away…

Izis fumblin' underneath dis blanket, an' I can feelin' cushuns benees meh. I kick an' thrash until dis damn thing comes offa me. An' now I'm lookin' at the ceilin' a' Applejack's farmhouse. I look down an' see 'er wearin' somethin'... Very unorthadox. A'least for her. She got this... gorgeous purple silk robe patterned with apple conste... constellations. And she's all bundled up 'neath a smaller blanket a' her own, knees 'gainst her chest. She's looking at me, with a smile that blurs the line between smug and dopey.

"Howdy," is all she says.

"Howdy yourself— Ow." Just the slightest word makes my head tremble and my stomach turn. This is nothing more or less than a hangover.

Applejack seems to find that pathetically amusing as she brushes a stray lock of straw mane out of her eyes. "Yeah, that there is the side effect of Sweet Apple Acres cider. It only gets stronger the longer it ferments."

I raise my hand up to tell her that’s enough. “I’ll thank you… not to yell.” Everything she says makes perfect sense but that doesn’t change the fact that every syllable sounds like a fire alarm right next to my ear. I bring my other hand there and give it a squeeze. Not entirely sure why, but anything helps. “We’ll stick to athletic competitions, mmkay?”

“That’d work out just nicely. But can Ah still carry ya into the sunset?”

“It was, like, ten thirty when we left the bar.”

AJ raises her pointer finger. “Ten forty-five. An’ it’s, uh,” she glances over her shoulder to one of those old grandfather clocks. Thank Celestia the ticking is quiet. “Yep, it’s twelve now.”

“Wonderful.” Clutching my head, I sit up a little bit more and look past the G-clock and out the window. For the most part, it’s pitch black, but the light of the house is enough to show that there’s snow coming down in buckets. “Geez, look at that.”

“Wha?” AJ turns around and quickly gets a look at the snow as well. “Oh. That’s… huh. Guess Apple Bloom and I’ll have some shovelin’ to do tomorrow. At least, assumin’ she gets home in time for Hearth’s Warmin’ breakfast.” The powder is starting to pile up on the window. In a few hours, hell, I doubt we’ll be able to see outside. That’s going to be murder on the plantation… And my house! Geez, that’ll be a mess to clean up.

But I’ll worry about that later. My head is hurty. “I’ll help out if this blows over…” I say that as I feel my temples.

“Oh!” AJ looks like she just remembered something important. She reaches behind her to an oak banister and grabs a mug. “This should take care a’ some a’ the pain.”

“Gimmee.” I pretty much snatch the mug from her hands, then look into it. “Ah, coffee.”

“I remember how ya like it, Rainbow. Two creams, two sugars. But no caffeine this time. It’s too late for that sorta thing.”

I’m already drinking it. Thank Luna for Applejack’s care and attention. I can already feel the sweet cream running down my throat and easing the dry after-effect of the alcohol. It doesn’t hurt to swallow anymore. Yay. I think I’ll tell Pinkie Pie to have her next holiday party in a coffee shop. Nothing bad ever happens there.

A good half of the mug is drained by the time I pull myself away. I can’t help, it’s so damn good. But it probably helps that it was made with the tender care of the coolest farmgirl in Ponyville. Eh, that’s pushing it. I’m gonna call her the coolest farmgirl in Equestria.

It only takes another chug of the mug (Huh. Sounds like something Pinkie Pie would say) to empty the cup, aside from some swirly bits on the bottom. I set the mug down behind me on the lamp stand. It’s only after that when I realize my body is really freakin’ cold, and the coffee, warm and sweet as it was, hasn’t helped much. I rub my shoulders and shiver. “Jeez… Should have talked to the higher-ups at the weather factory and told them to take it easy.” That’s when I notice my hoodie and leather jacket hanging up by the front door right next to AJ’s coat. I look down and see I’m only down to my sports bra and jeans. Oh, and my rainbow bolt necklace. “Uh, AJ, buddy…” I leer at her quizzically. “Did you undress me?”

She’s looking away from me at no particular object, sipping from a mug of her own.

Welp, there’s a question that’s gonna go unanswered. Doesn’t change the fact that I’m still cold. I wrap the blanket around my neck and nestle in as deep as I can without suffocating myself. This is the best kind of blanket; it’s fluffy and squeezable, and quite large. It’s a mammoth compared to AJ’s thin sheets. But then again, she’s so buff that she probably has her own heat. And she’s more used to sticking around in a cold place than I am; if it’s ever chilly at my place, I usually just go fly somewhere cozier. Still, the fact that she gave the drunken idiot of us the larger blanket is real generous. Even Rarity could take a lesson from her.

Wow, that coffee really did help with the headache. I can hardly feel a thing. Granted, there’s still a little bit of throbbing in my forehead, but it lacks pain. It’s more the pressure than anything else that irks me. “There was more than cream and sugar in that drink, wasn’t there?”

AJ finally looks back at me, having heard a question she won’t be embarrassed to answer. “Yep. Whatcha drank there had some of Zecora’s finest tasteless herbs. Helps any sorta headache. Cost me a pretty bit too, but hey, luck favors the prepared, am Ah right?”

Ah, Zecora and her exotic medication. I doubt there’s anything she can’t do, aside from wear clothes that show off less than eighty percent of her coat. “Wonder how she’s tolerating the winter.”

“Sugarcube, that zebra can snap the neck of a chimera in her sleep,” says AJ. “Ah think she’s doin’ just fine.”

Immediately I think about Zecora in her cloth garments kicking some serious monster ass bare handed. “Well, with that body she could do anything. Wonder if she could teach me how to get a figure like hers. Agh, but that’ll have to wait until I can actually be outside for more than a few minutes without my wings freezing over.”

Applejack chuckles innocently. “Ah ain’t concerned about the future, Rainbow. Let’s just focus on the now.”

I cock a brow at that notion, leaning towards her. “Okay, but what exactly are we doing... right now?”

“You got me.” That playful smile of hers makes my cheek tick, but it also makes my heart flutter. Unfortunately, it still doesn’t make me warmer. “Why don’t you describe what’s happening… right now?”

Oh, so that’s her game. AJ sure has gotten a habit of toying around lately. She definitely hasn’t gotten it from Big Mac, that’s for certain. “Uh-huh. Well, I’m cold as all get-out,” I grab ahold of the underside the blankets, “my head still hurts,” I feel another throb, making me whinge, “the weather is murder,” I notice that the windows are completely fogged up at this point, “and I probably embarrassed myself beyond all reasoning when I was drunk off my ass. Ask me how I’m doi— Ow!” I bury my face in my hands. “Oh, Celestia, make it stop…”

“Ah don’t think Celestia can help ya right now, but Ah sure as sugah can try.” Braving the elements, AJ removes her blanket. Her silk robe is higher cut than I thought, showing off her toned and humorously furry legs. I guess she doesn’t take the time to cut her coat during the cold seasons. I’ll never understand these land types and their lack of need to fly. It’s not wonder I’m so frozen compared to her.

She crawls the short distance across the couch to me, reaching for my forehead. I expect her calloused hands to feel rough and jaded on me, but there’s that comfort I’ve come to expect from her. Her touch is nearly enough to alleviate the throbbing. Heh, I wish.

“Hmm…” She lightly holds my cheeks, then leans in even closer. Looking down, I can see down her robe. She is literally wearing nothing under that thing. It really makes me think… Wait, no. Did she put that on for me? That’s just— I lose my train of thought the instant her lips touch my forehead. My eyes remain open and my body stays absolutely still until I hear the light pop of her removing her lips. Even then, she’s only, like, an inch away from me. “Yep, you’ve got it bad, Rainbow.”

My cheeks are utterly flaming. I smile dorkily, still keeping watch over her leaf-green eyes. “Do I ever…”

“Ah was talkin’ about the hangover.”

What did you say, farm tits? Argh, get your mind out of the gutter, Rainbow! “Yeah, it’s not fun. I think I need another cup of coffee.”

AJ purses her lips. “Zecora told me it only dulls the pain; it ain’t a cure.”

Just hearing that makes my head throb again. My fingers dig into my palms as I curse myself. If I hadn’t overdone it, I might be having a much more, uh, pleasurable evening. I really should have followed through on my vow. Ended it at the fourth drink. Some paragon of loyalty I am. Can’t even keep a promise to myself.

Oh, what am I saying? It’s just a little mistake. I’ve made plenty of those…

“Ah know somethin’ that’ll fix ya right up,” AJ says. She’s on her knees at this point, with her hands on my shoulders… Her robe is loose, hanging limp off one of her shoulders… The sash is a little askew, like the knot was only half done…

I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going. “Oh yeah?” I ask, putting on a half-lidded stare of my own.

AJ is really close to me, to the point where I can see the little knots in her mussy fur, and every single little strand of straw hair hanging down, unrestricted by her usual double-tied tail. Her actual tail isn’t tied up either. “Rainbow,” she whispers.

“Yeah?”

She touches my chin, then pushes upward, bringing the my head to face her dead-on. Her muzzle is on a crash-course with mine… She opens her lips and says, “Y’all need to take a shower. That’ll help with the pain.”

She removes her hand from my chin, giving me ample room to facepalm. What was I thinking? That’s what I should have done in the first place. I smile and nod. “Good call, AJ. I’ll be right back.” Of course, stepping out of the security of this blanket into the icy cold air with most of my body exposed would be suicide, so I hold the blanket tight, taking it with me as I sit up. “Uh, you do have the hot water working, right?” I glance to the fogged up window.

“Ah may be one stuck in earthwalker tradition but Ah ain’t too proud to use one a’ those fancy magic water talismans,” says AJ. “Shower’ll be hot as ya need it ta be.” She’s laying on her side, with one hand against her head and the other laid across one of her beefy legs. She looks away from me for a moment, not dropping her smile, yet she seems to be have boarded a different train of thought. “Uh, hey, Rainbow…”

Despite the blanket, I’m still trembling like I’m a living earthquake, and as much as I’d like to hear more of Applejack’s sexy country brogue, I just can’t. “I’ll hear it when I get out, okay? I’m getting ice in my hooves here.” I head for the upstairs, where I’m sure sweet relief awaits me.

The bathroom door closes shut by itself shortly after I step inside. Unfortunately, the bathroom, while warmer than the rest of the farmhouse, has a tile floor, so go figure that it hasn’t taken well to the frigid temperatures. Like I’m (Ironically) stepping on hot coals, I shuffle my hooves rapidly and lightly as I ditch the blanket.

Conveniently, I find a green and red towel hanging next to the shower, which is one of those dual sets; it can be used as a bath as well. Despite that, it is fairly large. Large enough for at least three ponies. That’s good, ‘cause I wanna stretch out my wings for a little while.

Welp, time to strip. I always like to do this in front of the mirror, just so I can get a good look at my toned figure. First things first, I ditch my necklace and set it on the counter. Then I unbutton and unzip my jeans and let them fall before I kick them onto the counter (Score), so now I’m down to my boxer-briefs. Yes, I wear dude’s underwear. It accompanies my physique better. I get a good look at my muscular legs. Granted, they’re not as large as AJ’s, but I need to keep them in check for flight speed.

I grab the underside of my sport’s bra and tug it off over my head. My average sized breasts become exposed to the elements. For the sake of humoring myself, I give them a little squeeze. Yep, they’re definitely none too impressive, especially in comparison to AJ’s. Heh. I remember another time I crashed here, and she slept topless. She says a bra feels restrictive, so she lets the puppies hang out. As hot as that is, it also makes a ton of sense. Farmgirls put comfort and practicality over style. That’s why I’m a little jealous of her; she can afford to be lax with her body. It just so happens that she’s a buff broad. I, however, would probably be expelled from the academy if my breasts were more than a C-cup.

I slide my hands along my flat belly, hook ‘em underneath my underwear and pull it down. I’d take the time to admire my, let’s be honest here, perfect hips, but I’m too damn cold to admire myself any further. I dash to the shower and pull back the apple-patterned curtain. I turn the handle as far up to the hot end as it can go, then flick the small lever. From the nozzle comes a welcome spray of warm water that resonates with my whole body just from being near it.

The anticipation is murder. I practically jump in there, letting the water glaze my mane and coat. Ah, warmth, glorious warmth! I nearly forgot what being warm feels like. I swear, if winters in Ponyville keep getting this bad, eventually I’m just gonna have to spend ‘em in Saddle Arabia. Nothing bad ever happens there.

Now that my blood isn’t frozen, the throbbing is really starting to ebb and I don’t have two D-cups of orange marshmallow staring me down from across a couch, I can actually afford to think.

All in all, it hasn’t been a bad night. I found someplace to sleep instead of having to trudge, and inevitably fly all the way home though nothing but white, blistering brutality. I’m bunking with a cool farmgirl tonight. Then in the morning, I’ll be entirely awake and… What’s the opposite of a hangover? I’ll be that. Then I’ll go home, then I’ll spend a few days debating when the hell I should take down my Hearth’s Warming Eve decorations… Odds are I’ll read a certain note left by a certain somepony I love. I still remember it in my head. I only read it thirteen times.

Heyo, Rainbow Dash!

Awesome news! My flight crew and I are going national! We’re doing a few charity shows across Equestria for Hearth’s Warming. Hey, it’s a time for giving, after all. I’ll be back a week after the Eve. Sure, yeah, I ain’t getting paid but it’s real good for publicity. Oh yeah, and we’re raising money for good causes, obviously!

See ya when I get back, sister.

-Scootaloo

I punch the wall so hard the whole bathroom shakes. At least it feels like that. And I don’t give a crap about how much my knuckles hurt when the adrenaline wears off. I fold my arms across my stomach and hang my head down low. Great, now the pain is back.

So, it hasn’t been a bad night. But it’s been a Goddess-awful Hearth’s Warming Eve. If it were up to me, the night would have gone in a completely different direction.

Here’s how I imagine it: First, given that I can’t cook worth a crap, I’d pick up Scootaloo and take her with me to an awesome holiday dinner at Furious Feathers (It’s an awesome airborne buffet restaurant near Cloudsdale). We’d eat until we were sick. Then we’d up and fly back to my place together, probably watch some crappy holiday specials, I’d give her that new leather and stud flightsuit I bought her, then we’d hug, go to bed, and I’d fall asleep cuddling with my little sister.

Sure, that’s not exactly the best night ever, but it’d my best night ever. Instead, here I am, miserable, angsting beneath a shower with sore knuckles and an aching head. All I can see in front of my face are mottled strings of rainbow.

Taking notice of that, I lean my head back and let my mane fall across my back. Right, I’m here to feel better, get warmer and clean myself up. And I shouldn’t feel angry at Scootaloo… If anything, I’m proud of her. Too proud to even think about being jealous. And I’m sure there will be plenty of good times to be had when she gets home.

Until then, that doesn’t change the fact that my Hearth’s Warming Eve plans are up in the air, and I’ve only got a few more hours until I can find something to do that doesn’t involve going to bed alone. ...I hate being alone. Now more than ever.

That’s when it hits me like I could have had a different beverage. I’m not alone. I don’t see Applejack doing anything for Hearth’s Warming Eve other than putting up with me. But why? ...she holds the Element of Honesty. If she wanted to do something better with her time, she could have just told me. But she didn’t. She had that smile on her face the whole time, watching me blunder over and over with an apple shaped twinkle in her eye. She… I need to ask her something.

I reach for the curtain, get a grip on a fold and yank the whole darn thing aside, all the while shouting, “Applej...!”

Oh.

I feel my cheeks warm up in a hurry as my eyes roam across the farmgirl's body, her curves barely covered by a loosely worn towel hanging from her like a... um... geez, the tease is practically pushing her breasts right in my face! "O-oh, you're here," I manage, my mouth feeling dry as I unconsciously move my arms up to hug my chest. "Wuh-what's up?"

She feathers her mane like she isn't standing in front of me with all of her chiseled arms and legs showing, looking me over. I can see her eyes tracing me, starting at my hooves and ending at my face, which is comicially frozen in shock. She places one hand on her hip and stands sassily. "Well, Ah heard yah gruntin', then there was that slammin' noise. Wanted ta make sure the hangover wasn't havin' a second wind... Or you were abusin' yourself." She smirks. "But I see yer lookin' just fine..."

"Well, uh... Thank you." I feel my blush deepen a bit, and I turn away from her, the shower's water beating down on my face. "So... did you want me to get out, or something? Looks like you were getting ready to hop in."

"Oh, Rainbow." She makes a one-noted chuckle. I lock up, with my fingers twitching, as I feel her breath on the back of my neck. It's nice and warm. Even more warm than the drizzle. "Y'all don't know when a good thing is starin' ya right in the face." Her muzzle brushes against my shoulder, snuggling up slowly to my neck. "What makes you think Ah'm gonna let ya get out?"

I feel my legs shudder, a shiver running down my spine in the wake of one of her long, firm finger as it makes its way towards my flanks. "Ah-Applejack," I turn towards her, and gasp as her lips touch my neck, kissing me gently. My entire body's so hot now that the water feels freezing against my body.

While she glowers at me, undressing me with her eyes (Despite my being well and naked already), she proceeds to do the same. She undoes her towel with a single motion, and stands there like a boss while it falls to her hooves. “Happy Hearth’s Warming, ya dummy.”

I say something really smart. “Uh-buwah?”

She jumps at me, and the only thing that stops us from falling over is my wings' reflexive flaring as my balance shifts. By the time I'm once again steady on my feet, her lips are locked against mine, and we're sliding down until we're sitting, somewhat in each other's laps, under the warm torrent of the shower. Her breath is still so warm as her hands fly all over my body, roping me in closer until our bodies are pressed tight. Our moans are the only thing interrupting the violent kiss.

I look at her, my mind in a fervor, but feeling as clear as the bluest of skies. I dive forwards, my coat intertwining with hers as I shove my tongue into her mouth. Jeez. Both of us are trying to gain the upper hand in a tongue-wrestle. But I don’t really care who wins.

"You're beautiful..."

She breaks the kiss, breathing into my mouth. “Don’t lay on the sap, darlin’.” Our tongues collide again.

“Okay, you’re hot…”

That's all I can get out before she grazes her teeth over my lower lip and bites down. It's a sweet kind of pain, one I'd definitely take over a hangover any day. Speaking of, I feel my forehead after she pulls away. "Heh. Hey, it's gone."

"Ain't that a kick in the head," she says. Her hand joins mine on my forehead. We look into each other and smile with affection, but that moment is real brief. She pushes me lightly, but even that's enough to put me onto my back, supported only by my stiff wings. "Well, more like a push in the head." She takes notice of my wings, then gets that mischievous face I've only had the luck to see so often on her. She reaches for a bottle of preening oil. "Ah knew this'd come in handy someday..." She comes at me with her fingers like pincers.

I can't help the moan that escapes me as her fingers touch the tips of my primaries. She combs right through them with gusto. "Nnn! AJ, y-your hands feel s-so weeeird!" I giggle as she leans over me and starts to nibble lightly on my ear.

"Sorry, sugahcube, can't say Ah've done this before, so you'll have to teach me how ta do it right."

“You gotta do it slowly…”

“Ah.”

I nod rapidly. “One feather at a time.”

“Gotcha, sweetie.” She fiddles with my wingtips again, this time with much more tenderness and less strength. I gotta say, it’s far better this way, even if drags out. When AJ runs her fingers beneath the feathers, she ends up tweaking my stems, and that’s a more sensitive part. My legs wobble and grind together. I’m already leaking, and the fur of my legs is starting to mat. Somepony’s gonna need to clean her shower when she’s done with me.

Another run-through of my primaries down to my secondaries makes me gasp and flap my wings involuntarily. Splatters of water on both my sides coat the wall and curtain, and get AJ even more soaked. She laughs as she wipes her mane out of her eyes, then continues massaging, working her way through my coverts. The way her fingers, slick from the preening oil, drag along each individual feather… It makes my vision go blurry. “Well, aren’t you just rarin’ ta go?”

I have to bite on my finger to keep myself from moaning any louder. Ooh, speaking of biting… I raise my wings up, pointing the end directly at AJ’s face. She raises a brow, but she gets it after a moment. Thank Celestia. She’s leaving me hanging here while my loins burn! She gently licks up the end of my wing and chomps down on that notch.

“Ah~! Oh, that’s…” My teeth clench as I lean my head back. “That’s good, ah… Ooooh, that’s awesome~!”

Every feather is a potential turn-on if touched in the just the right way; it’s like they’re all connected to whatever part of the body creates orgasms. Applejack has always known how to touch me in just the right way to get me going. I’m partial to anything having to do with my legs, but it takes a certain sort of touch to bring a pegasus to cum while only touching their more feathered appendages. It’s a sort of wild and wacky fetish that only other pegasi have a tendency to understand.

But not AJ, that sexy queen of the farm tomboy. She splays herself over me and presses her chest against mine. Her large, supple and now moistened breasts devour mine, there’s no contest. But it’s still hot as hell, the way she slides along, grinding against me with all of her strength and amazonian beauty. She looks amazing, her handiwork is amazing… All in all, she’s a damn awesome lay. And we haven’t even gotten started yet.

She sees fit to prove that. She grabs a whole tuft of feathers in each hand, making me thrash. “AAGH!” I feel an especially large and warm trickle of my juices around my crotch. I’d be able to keep screaming if AJ would let me. She keeps peppering me with snogs, taking me by my whole mouth.

I can’t take it anymore. When AJ digs her digits into the seam between my primaries and secondaries, the pressure building in my nethers bursts. This time, I’m the one who makes the move on her, grappling her by her back and pulling her in for an intense kiss. As my juices cascade from my snatch, no doubt messing up AJ’s fur, I can feel her own nectar on my crotch. So she really is hot for me right now. For a moment there I thought she was just doing this out of sympathy.

The kiss I started out of desperation turns into something a little more romantic as my thrashing settles, but my head is still fuzzy from that orgasm. At this point, I’d be willing to do anything for AJ, just for being so awesome about this.

I smile at her as she rumples my mane, stroking it like I’m her pet or something. “Y’all satisfied, darlin’?” she asks, sitting up, allowing me a full look at that body. What’s that, hands? You wanna get a little more familiar with the fuzzy farmgirl’s figure? Well, alright then.

Starting from her ample posterior, I follow her muscular curves up past her stomach, the one not-washboard part of her. But I suppose she has the right to a bit of a gut. Where else would she keep her stallion stomach? My attention is on something much larger. Well, two things. I take a handful of each large, succulent breast and grope them for all they’re worth. I’ve always been fond of the apples of Applejack. Can’t believe I’ve never taken a chance to cop a feel before. “You know the first time I saw you naked?”

She chuckles. “Ah’ll indulge ya. When was that?”

“It was last year, I think, while Bloom was at camp and Big Mac was out of town.” I show AJ my teeth. “You were out in the fields, apple bucking topless.”

I’ve finally made her blush. She holds her cheeks, breathing heavily as I continue to squeeze and rub her breasts. “That was a hot summer.”

Haha, nice. "And you wonder why the farmhands declined payment for a month."

She sighs, then simple settles for humming quietly while enjoying my boob massage. I know I’m doing something right, the way her body moves quicker with every breath she lets out. Her heart must be pounding so fast right now. I wonder how long she was debating coming up here and giving me quite possibly the second best Hearth’s Warming gift I’ll ever receive. The first would be that perfect night with Scoots, but that’s neither here nor there.

AJ wiggles her hips, mashing her mess into my fur. Great. There’s her revenge for me messing hers up. Eyes closed and cheeks more red than orange, she takes my hands and forces them harder against her breasts, spreading them all across her chest like the marshmallow they are. I add it a little nipple tweaking for good measure, and that’s enough to make the immovable powerhouse shudder.

“Caaah… Couldja do somethin’ fer me, Rainbow?” She says that as she gets off of me and crawls away, then, hovering her hands over her nethers, rises and backs up against the wall. She was so confident a second ago and now she’s all flustered. And rubbing her vulva. I think her plan to make me feel better might have backfired.

But who says that has to be a bad thing?

I flap my wings lightly to get onto my hooves. In just a step I’m right next to AJ again. “Don’t need to tell me, boss.” She pulls me into a needy kiss, touching me on my shoulders, my neck, my head, my arms, jeez… She’s touching me everywhere she can get a grip. By the time this is over I’m just gonna be covered in AJ. And that’s okay. Ooh, and speaking of getting covered in her…

I cup her cheeks. “Just relax and enjoy yourself,” I say without any trace of subtlety.

“Can do…” She resumes the kiss without giving me any chance to resist. Well, okay then. I suppose I can multitask. My naughty fingers work their along her neck and over her lovely lady lumps, then keep traveling on downtown until I swear I’ve dipped my fingers into a tub of oil. But I know I’ve reached my destination; she’s making noises into my mouth as I slide back and forth between her legs.

My thumb finds its way between AJ’s lower lips and carves a path inside. Mmhmm, now it’s a rodeo. My other digits slowly yet powerfully explore the inside of the apple, tracing the edges and pushing in deeper. I might just reach the core at this rate, haha!

My other hand is doing something to enhance the experience of a teased vagina. This doesn’t go for everypony, but whenever Twilight yanks me by the tail with her magic, I start to feel a little warm down there. I dunno how that works, but I’ve never told her just so she keeps doing it. I won’t outright yank Applejack’s pretty tail, though. Instead, I just wrap my hand around the base and lightly tug, while still focusing on making her feel good up front.

Sweet, it’s working. AJ can’t focus on kissing me anymore. In fact, she can barely stand. She uses her elbows against the tile wall for support as she kicks her head back, gasping. “R-Rainbow…”

Just that calling out makes my already erect feathers tingle. I gotta kick this up a notch; I’m working my fingers overtime and she’s still not cumming. I kiss her one more time on the cheek, then start my descent. I kiss and lick both her breasts, nuzzle her muscles, and peck around her legs and crotch before I take a good look the prize. Her lower lips are all puffy from my teasing, and she’s got apple juice all over her legs down to her hooves. Somepony’s gonna need a second shower. But then again, it is a good sign when you come out of a shower dirtier than when you went in.

I lick my lips, and then I lick hers.

“Rainbow, what’re ya— AH!”

I don’t even need to coax her open before I stick my tongue into the danger zone and lick between her vaginal folds. I trace circles around the inside for good measure before I go up higher for something a bit more important. AJ’s knees touch my sides when I just barely lap at her nub. Ah, so this is the stem of the apple. “Ah, so you like this?”

She tousles my mane again. I see that her other hand is getting even more associated with one of her breasts. “Yeah… Yer… Ya know what Ah like…” She gives me a wide-eyed nod of approval before she grabs her tit and licks at it. With her own mouth! That’s hot.

Before I give her what she really deserves, I play with her a little by blowing on her exposed clit. That makes her buckle again.

“St-Stop torturin’ me… Let me cum, Rainbow!”

“Well, Happy Hearth’s Warming to you too.” I press the flat of my tongue to her clit and please her with strong, pressured licks. It’s oddly gratifying to know I’m making her wetter than a seapony. It could just be my imagination based on a real stupid metaphor, but I’m pretty sure she actually tastes like apples. Either way, my attention is on her nub, which I kiss and squeeze between my lips before I lick away with the very tip of my tongue.

“Gonna… Aw, Rainbow… That’s it… Love it… Ah love it!” She grabs my head. With a surprised gasp, I’m forced against her pussy. I just blindly lick away. I can tell by her pulsating that she’s well over the edge at this point. All I can do is help with the fall. “So good, so good, fuck, cumming…cumming… Yes, yes!”

With one final, triumphant lick, I back off and let AJ climax. Her luscious legs get a fresh coating of her apple juice as she holds on to the shower’s support bar for dear life. I help her through her orgasm by wrapping her up in an intense embrace, and I don’t stop until her thrashing ceases, which isn’t for a whole minute, I’d estimate. Even then, I don’t entirely let go. I still hold her by her shoulders as I look into her dopey reddened face. She makes a one-noted laugh.

“Ah said some real uncouth things there.”

I kiss her on the muzzle. “Are you kidding? You’re so hot when you let loose.”

She kisses me back, only it feels a bit more snarky than sweet. That just makes me wanna kiss her even more. She opens her mouth to say something in response, but I plant my lips on her open mouth, shutting her up, and I keep ‘em there. While the water keeps falling, drenching our mussed up fur and nectar soaked legs, we just keep kissing and holding each other.

Talk is cheap anyway.

AJ throws my pants into the dirty clothes hamper, along with my sport’s bra and everything else unimportant. She fastens her purple robe to her waist, firmly hiding any of her naughty bits from sight (Much to my disapproval, but she didn’t care) while she forces me to wrap the one towel around my chest.

“Hey, if we’re gonna keep doin’ this, there’s gotta be some mystery, right, sugarcube?”

I shrug as I tighten the towel. That should just about do it. “I guess you’re right.” Seeing her tits only every so often makes them that much more awesome to look at, anyway. Until then, I’ll settle for looking at her absolute cleavage in that robe. I’m so focused on it, I don’t notice her walk up to me. She kisses me affectionately. Not passionately, but just like a good marefriend would. It’s real nice, actually.

“Besides, a little decency is necessary for a full house. Ah don’t wanna be caught stark naked with mah best friend when Apple Bloom comes home tomorrow. An’ Granny Smith would just have a heart attack—”

I hold up my hand, stopping her lecture, and wrap that same hand around her back and hold her by the waist. “Okay, I get it.” Once again, I find myself captivated by how buff and broad she is. I think she’s actually more of a stallion than Braeburn. Don’t get me wrong, he looks good, but he’s a little on the shrimpy side compared to Big Mac and AJ. Hell, even Bloom might have him beat.

“So, should we take this to the bedroom or back to the couch?” I ask the farmgirl as I rest my head on her stallion-like shoulder.

“Ah think the bed would be a bit warmer.” She leads me along, opening the door and walking out into the hallway.

Suddenly I’m reminded of one of the reasons I stepped into the shower in the first place. I huggle AJ a bit closer, hoping her perpetual hotness rubs off on me. “Warm is nice. I like warm.”

“Come on.” We turn and continue swaggering down the hallway. AJ’s room is just ahead, and with it, sweet warmth, comfort and cuddles await. Who knows? We might just get naked again. I don’t wanna scissor with her or anything; I’m all tuckered out and read for my long winter’s nap, but I’d give anything to get close to AJ again.

She reaches for the door handle and turns to face me. “Now, Ah always take the left side, just so ya know.” She opens the door, giving me a full view of her humble room of rest. Dang, she really needs to clean up. She’s got a fur-lined duster on the floor, along with a waistcoat, chaps, a blue and black leather jacket with a Wonderbolt patch… What the hell?

And her bed is a wreck too, with the sheets and covers all jumbled up in a frenzy.

“It’s just been preference, ya know? Ah ain’t comfortable unless—”

“Uh, AJ…” I interrupt her and point to the strange sight.

“Huh?” She turns her attention there. “What in tarnation? Ah cleaned this place up this mornin’! Unless...” She immediately forces me off of her, wearing a disgruntled frown as she stomps over to the… not bed. She goes to her dresser and opens the top drawer, and pulls out a holy crap that’s a hunting rifle! Since when does she have a hunting rifle?!

While I stand in the doorway, gaping, she cocks it, then goes over to the chaotic bed. She grabs the covers with one hand, tightly gripping the rifle in the other, and rips them off.

I never knew field-green eyes could look so livid. She grits her teeth and points the rifle at the most unexpected stallion I thought I’d ever seen in her bed. Soarin of the Wonderbolts rolls over and crosses his legs, awkwardly waving AJ (And the rifle) hello.

AJ seems more concerned with the stallion laying next to Soarin. “Braeburn! Again?!”

The feminine looking cowcolt covers himself with the sheets and blushes madly, grabbing his hat from the floor and hiding his face.

While AJ’s freaking out about her cousin getting down and dirty in her own bed, I’m more appalled at who he was getting down and dirty with.

“Why doesn’t just everypony in your family bang a Wonderbolt?!”