Cold Drinks and Warm Hearts

There are two things you should know about this farm pony.

One: I love Hearth’s Warming Eve and everything about it. I love the music, I love the decorations, I love the stories, especially the legend of the six founders of Equestria, and I love having cousin Braeburn around. He’s a fun fella to hang out with.

Two: If winter had a face, I would punch it.

I’m not a fan. Call it imprinting or hardwiring, but I’m a farmpony who has been raised by farmponies, and that means I get my kicks from working the fields until I’m damn near catatonic. It’s just something that has to be done, and I’m okay with that. I’ve learned to appreciate the sweat on my brow and back, the callouses on my palms, the soreness beneath my skin… Something that would have a scrawnier pony running for the hills (At least, the hill I ain’t working on) is something I relish.

So it sucks that the one thing getting in the way of that honest, rewarding hard labor is a bunch of Celestia-damned snow. Yeah, of course, with all of this powder falling on our heads, a few shingles are gonna need fixing, and frozen pipes are always a bother, but between those jobs… Yeah, I’ve got nothing.

So I was the one stuck in the house all day with nothing to do, waiting for the day Scootaloo gets home from her charity gig. The closest I’ll get to spending any time with my fellow Crusaders this Hearth’s Warming is watching Sweetie Belle’s setlist at Pronkfest over the crummy TV. But that event is long over.

Not to mention, I can’t hope for any farmhands to come around this time of year. Never have I had the cuddle itches so bad.

It’s a matter of duh that when Applejack asked if I wanted to come along to Pinkie Pie’s little holiday party, I almost stood up and sang. Finally, something mildly interesting!

And then Applejack, who I swear had more red in her face than orange, immediately went to talk to Rainbow Dash in the center booth. Where does that leave me? Alone, sitting off on the side, drinking my bottle of Sir Cilantro with nopony to talk to but the white pegasus on the label. Hello, white pegasus.

Nevertheless, I enjoy the sweetness of the root beer. I’m still a while off from being able to drink the kind sans root, but in the meantime, I’ll settle for this, along with that little bit of apple cider I’m allowed to drink at family reunions.

“Hiya, Bloom! Enjoying the drinks?” says a high pitched voice in my ear. I look at Pinkie Pie, and she can tell that I’m not quite prepared to handle her hyperactive holiday cheer. So she just takes her smile elsewhere, somersaulting away. That… is entirely normal.

Until I actually have something to talk about and have somepony to talk about said thing with, I’m just going to focus on the carbonated beverage before me. I reach for my feather-accented nine-gallon hat and set it on my head, then kick up my legs. Just another day at the office.

The bubbles within my drink rise and pop much like excitement in life; their swelling and bursting happens so fast, and yet before you know it, there’s more bubbles. I wait for something to happen. A call, the mail, some sort of accident to occur in a call for this mare’s name.

The name is Rider. Crimson Rider.

Like the preluding song of the opera, my office’s bell rings. Why should this particular ring be so special? Somehow, my attention is drawn to the door and the two dames stepping in. For the next few minutes, they will be at my mercy. Or perhaps the other way around, if they’re the fierce type.

“See, Di? I told you she’d be here,” says the grey one. She wears a fine lady’s jacket over a sundress, with her leggings as tight as a virgin from Canterlot. But this one is far too confident in the way she swings her hips to be either of those things, particularly the former. That prim and proper bun in her hair isn’t fooling anypony.

The other dame, wearing her pink coat proud, follows the sultry one from behind, and yet she’s earned the greater amount of my attention with her manner of dress; quite literally, as its white cloth descends all the way down to her heeled boots. This is accompanied with a matching jacket and a lacy shawl. All of these frilly decorations and the one I question the most is the umbrella. “I was the one who brought it up. So you have me to thank,” she says to her friend.

“Well, we found her, so that’s what matters, right?”

“Uh, is she okay?” The umbrella girl is staring at me like my mane just caught fire. “Is she talking to herself?”

The dames stroll past the counter, foregoing the pleasure of any soothing drink and relegating their ambition to coming my way. I know these mares as well as the back of my hand. They’re the catalysts of many days of elitist induced hazing. The marks upon their flanks gave them delusions of grandeur, and they had to flaunt those delusions. Eventually, the wounds they left upon me were scarred over so many times, I became bulletproof. But that was only the beginning of their collapsing empire...

The silver one leans over, for some reason believing waving her gloved hand in front of her face will do any good. “Uh, Apple Bloom? Did you get cabin fever?”

“Wouldn’t be surprised; she’s been trapped in the farmhouse all winter.”

Alright, screw it. Enough melodrama. I remove my stetson and slap it onto Silver Spoon’s head, then poke Diamond Tiara in her gut, much to her chagrin. “Ah don’t have cabin fever, ya ninnies. Just a story I’ve been working on.”

Diamond Tiara seems less than impressed as she takes a seat next to me, sighing dramatically. She holds my shoulders and rests her head against mine. “Woe is her, the workhorse has been off the plower so long she’s resorted to entertaining herself with, le gasp, liberal arts.” She chuckles. “You should have gotten ahold of us weeks ago.”

Silver Spoon is in the middle of checking herself out in the window with my stetson. “Huh, not bad…”

“Stop eye-banging yourself.” Di (That’s my nickname for her; not gonna call her five syllables all day long) reaches for Silvy (Three syllables is also too long) and grabs the hat. She chuckles again and eyes me sinisterly. “Hey, you know what the difference between you and me is?” She throws the stetson on herself. “I make this look good.”

“Ya know… Ya kinda do.” No, seriously, she does. The natural shadow it casts brings out the pure evil in her eyes. “Now put on a tasseled bikini an’ bend over a carriage. There’s your next best-selling calendar.”

Di raises her finger, about to make some sort of snide comment, but she retracts it as her smile disappears. “That’s… not an awful idea, actually.”

“What should I wear?” Silvy takes a seat, leaning over the table with intense interest.

I size her up a little, determining what would look good with her skinny waist and moderate bust. “A cowgirl vest and chaps. And... no bra.”

She purrs, obviously enticed by my idea. “For a ruffian, you’ve got a taste for erotic clothing. You should hang up the hat and get a job with us.”

I don’t even need to think about that one. I take back my stetson from Di and aggressively put it back on. “Nah. If it’s a choice between ruffian and whore, Ah’ll take ruffian.”

Di sighs with exasperation. “For the fifth time, Hayseed, we’re not whores; we’re models.”

“Ah wasn’t talkin’ ta you.” I raise a single brow towards Silver Spoon.

She’s laughing, but for some reason she decides to slap me on the wrist. “Oh, I’m the slut! You’re one to talk.”

“What are you goin’ on about?”

Silvy snatches my stetson, again, and starts imitating my country accent the instant it lands on her noggin. “‘Well, golly gee! Ah sure love me some farmhands! They make the best apple sauce… all over mah back!’”

I shove the stetson over her eyes, but that only makes her laugh harder, and against my better judgment, I start cracking up too, along with Di.

Our laughter goes on for at least a minute before we’re finally able to speak again, but by the time that happens, I’m all out of things to say, and I don’t have any drink left.

But one question does remain. “The heck are y’all doin’ here to begin with?”

Di wraps her arm around me and sighs dramatically. “Oh, Hayseed. Do we truly need a reason to pay a visit to our dear friend?”

“Uh, yeah?” I say incredulously. I remove Di’s arm from my body. “Last I checked, Ah still sorta hate ya.”

Silvy admits defeat, brushing one of the very few stray locks from her face. “You know us too well, Bloom… We have an ulterior motive. See, it was not an hour ago that I spoke to a certain somepony you may be familiar with.”

“An’ who would that be? Scoots and Sweetie are way out of town.”

“Not them. I was talking about a certain other somepony that you might know. Curly mane? Cream coat? The motht adowable wittle thpeech impediment?”

Okay, that’s all the description I need. “Why the hell would you wanna talk to Twist? After that verbal beatdown she gave Di, Ah assumed her name became synonymous with death in your vocabularies.”

I look over at Di. She’s twiddling her fingers under the table, and I think she’s breathing really fast. “Yes, well... Doesn’t mean it has to remain that way…” I can tell the memories of graduation week are still fresh in her mind, so I lend her a comforting pat on the back. It’s high time to move the conversation along.

“You were sayin’?”

Silver Spoon clears her throat and resumes. “Well, wouldn’t you know it? When I went to meet up with her, she wasn’t at her apartment, which means she’s likely spending a little quality time with her new coltfriend.”

Di is still a little twitchy but she seems to be recovering. “Ah, the magic of Hearth’s Warming Eve,” she says. “It seems the greatest gift one can give on this night of nights is the gift of booty.”

Then, right the hell out of nowhere, Silvy starts singing. “Yanking off his pants… Taking off her own… Right beneath the mistletoe, she’s gonna make him moan!”

Di and I join in to the debaucherous jingle. “Oh, Button Mash, Button Mash, how’d you land that girl? Once she gets you all alone, Twist will rock your world! Hey!” We all clap at the same time.

“Wait a moment…” I begin. “That’s what y’all wanna do, isn’t it? Sneak up to Button’s house in the middle of the night an’ spy on him and Twist shenaniganin’?”

Di and Silvy both nod with enthusiasm, sharing the same look. I’ve seen that look before. They only wear it when they’re about to do something incredibly stupid and immature. I look at my reflection in the window. Yep, I have that look too. I guess I’m up for some sneakery as well. Stupid and immature may not be my style, but Applejack has been begging me to get outside and do something all winter.

“We have a perfect view of Button Mash’s house from my apartment,” says Di in an unusually sultry tone. “What do you say, Hayseed? Nice? Or naughty?”

Should have been careful what you wished for, big sister.

So, the ever pristine and proper Diamond Tiara is finally letting me see exactly where she disappeared to after that fateful summer day. I’ve heard a lot of rumors, some saying that she became a sugar baby to some rich jackass in order to afford this place. Other people just assume she doesn’t live here to begin with and she’s only squatting until the real owners get back. Both of those rumors are complete horseapples, of course, but they are kinda funny.

I know Di well enough. She’s a lot of things but she isn’t a liar; I know for a fact that she lives in this apartment, takes good care of it, makes more than enough at her modeling job to pay rent… The only thing I don’t know is what the place actually looks like, and that’s about to change. From the large windows and smooth walls of the apartment building, I can tell that Di really went all-out. I wonder how she afforded the initial deposit before she became a model?

We ascend a few flights of stairs, which are unfortunately located outside the apartment itself. Silver Spoon and I hold hands so we don’t slip on any ice. I’m eager to get indoors before the snowfall gets too wild. I recall a flyer from the weather team saying they were going a little overboard with the snowfall this year.

We reach the second floor, where Di pulls out her key and undoes the lock on the slick wooden door. She waves me in like a true lady. “Just throw your stuff on the floor.”

“Ya sure?” I ask with a giggle. “And here I thought you were all Miss Priss.”

“Oh, shut up. This isn’t Canterlot Castle.”

I let go of Silvy and rush inside to get out of the damn snow. It’s only after I muscle out of my winter jacket, hoodie and button-up that I’m able to take in the place. It’s not super roomy by any means, but it’s beyond what I expected for somepony relatively fresh outta high school. Like the door, the floor is slick and shiny with flawless wood paneling, all the furniture has a smooth white finish, and the television is at least sixty inches.

Di has that smarmy look again. She struts forward as she strips down to just her dress, tossing her hat, shawl and umbrella aside. “Castillo de Diamantes! Well? What do you think? You so wish you were me right now.”

I don’t know if I’m showing any sign of jealousy, but I’m not gonna take the risk. I hide my face behind my arm. “Ah’m not gonna say it.”

Silvy grabs my shoulders and shakes me mockingly. “Yeah, she’s jealous.” After I tap her upside the muzzle with the back of my hand, she pats me on the cheek, and then proceeds to remove her jacket and shoes. “Come on, Hayseed. How do you think I feel? I’m saving up all my modeling funds for someplace nice, so I have to live in a crummy apartment three blocks from here.”

“Yeah, well, Ah still live with mah siblings. Ah don’t even have a crummy apartment ta live in, Ah have to be jealous of yers.”

“Aha!” Di points at me. “I knew it!”

I slap myself across the face for letting that slip. “Crafty cheerleaders… Look, are we gonna spy on Button Mash and Twist or what?” Incredible. Diamond Tiara frustrates me so much that I’d rather be doing that dirty deed than listen to her flap her lips for one more minute. Not that I object to the dirty deed in the first place. After watching Button Mash dork his way through school, I’m glad that he finally got his reward. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Twist has become quite a catch.

Di leads us over to the wall opposite her big screen, where her queen sized bed stands on a raised platform. She hops on, crawls up to the head, reaches past her oversized pillows and pulls on a string, opening the blinds of the window. I can see snow coming down outside, but it’s still light enough to look pretty without being difficult to see. I may hate winter, but even I can’t deny that snow, under the right circumstances, does look beautiful.

“Romantic, isn’t it?” Silvy says as she gets up on the bed. She lies down on her stomach, lazily resting her cheeks in her hands and crossing her legs. A part of me begrudgingly respects her for flaunting her ability as a model outside of the studio. Not many ponies are able to look that good without a bunch of lights and cameras staring them down.

I join Silvy and lie down next to her, trying my damndest to not admire her figure and instead focusing on the window. That is, the apartment building outside the window. I had heard Button Mash and his mom, Milano, moved into a pretty big apartment a few years ago, but I haven’t seen it until just now.

“Huh. I guess bein’ an amateur game designer actually brings in quite a few bits,” I say, admiring the fancy yet homey look of Button’s room. Of course, it’s filled with posters, some of 16-bit pixel art, fiery demons of death, or scantily clad medieval amazons with oversized swords. Button is sitting at his three monitors, typing some gibberish into a program I can’t quite make out. The fella is in a bathrobe, so Twist has gotta be somewhere…

“There, on the bed,” Di says, tapping the window with a single finger.

Twist, clad in a robe of her own, is sitting at the edge of the bed, flapping her lips. I can’t hear her through two windows a block apart from each other, obviously. Evidently, whatever it is she’s saying, Button is a little too focused on whatever it is he’s doing to react to it.

Why he isn’t reacting to her is beyond me. I remember when Twist was still a bumbling, brace burdened baby of a filly, hardly able to see a foot in front of her without her glasses. I’ve had several months to adjust, but still can’t believe that little girl was harboring such an effin’ succubus. Her hair has straightened out, she’s gotten smaller glasses, and her body has filled out, with any pudge she has left forming curves in all the right places. I said she was a catch, and I meant it.

The new and improved Twist sighs and stands up, undoing her sash.

“Yep, lingerie.” Di waves to Silvy. “Pay up.”

Silvy curses under her breath as she slaps two bits into Di’s hand.

A barely legal mare with freckles and large glasses should not look that good in a bedroom suit. Her red, strapless bra is adorned with translucent cloth, and... yep, lacy panties. "Honestly, Button..." Silvy sighs. "Do you need a neon sign?" She flexes her fingers as if in time to flashing lights. "TAP. THAT. Tap her like a maple tree,” she says menacingly. “Tap her like a quicktime event.”

Much to our collective surprise, Button does turn around in his chair, finally dropping his concentrated expression to smile up at Twist. She takes the fella’s hand and leads him to the bed, where she embraces him and whispers in his ear.

Twist says more stuff that we can’t hear, but Silvy provides a lip-reading to make up for it. “‘How about I jiggle your joystick?’”

Di and I lose our focus as we laugh out loud. When I’m able to get back on task, I see that Button and Twist are still standing. Their arms wrap around each other and they kiss. It’s not exactly as scandalous as I thought it would be, and I hate myself for even using that word. It’s actually kinda sweet, even as Twist sticks her tongue into Button’s mouth.

Button steers Twist towards the bed. I move up closer to the window, expecting the preamble to one hell of a hoedown. Twist is laid down on the bed, with Button positioning himself over her...

“Come on, dork knight… Claim her!” Silvy hisses.

Button’s bedroom door opens, causing a harsh light to shine into the room. Twist scrambles to cover herself up, throwing her robe on haphazardly, bopping her nose on the bed and dropping her glasses in the process. Button grabs his head, acting as if it’s physically painful to have his mom walk in on him and his pwecious pwincess of peppermint sticks.

Di snickers, flourishing her arm dramatically. “Ah, maternal cock block. That is the absolute worst kind.”

“Nah, sororal cock block is worse,” I say. “A mom at least knows to pretend it never happened. A sister, you never hear the end of it.”

“Sounds like you speak from experience, Hayseed,” Di says with a sneer.

I always get flustered when I think of those hot summer afternoons. It’s just too perfect. An empty barn, a handsome stallion, and an insatiable itch I just have to scratch… “Ah get bored!” I shout.

Silvy plants her hand on the back of my head and shoves me forward, pressing my muzzle against the glass. “Shut up and watch. We’re about to witness a rare sight, when a geek and a nerd meld into one.”

I glare at Silvy out of the corner of my eye. “You’re a little obsessed, ya know…”

“Aren’t I just incorrigible?” she asks, apparently taking what I said as a compliment.

But even I can’t resist the temptation to see Button Mash mash Twist’s buttons, although that seems to be put on a little bit of a hiatus. Button’s mom is setting some bowls down on the desk. With a bit of focus, I’m able to see what’s in the bowls; strawberries and whipped cream. Ah, a perfect snack for foreplay and the romp. “Good for Button Mash ta have his own mom as a wingpony,” I say.

Button’s mom leaves the room with a polite wave, although I see a bit of embarrassment there, not that I really blame her. Button himself is a little flustered too, hanging his head and sulking at the end of his bed.

Twist, who I can assume is determined to make this night end on a happy note, throws off her robe again, wraps her arms around Button’s waist from behind, then reaches under his robe to rub his pelvis. Button, being the teenager he is, immediately pipes up, turning his head towards Twist. Her long neck is perfectly positioned on his shoulder, allowing him to bite down.

I myself enjoy a little biting, but Twist seems to be outright crazy for the sweet pain. She grabs the folds of Button’s robe, tearing it off in one pull. Button isn’t exactly a looker in terms of muscle, but he is fairly attractive in a lanky, trim sort of way. I’m more sweaty for a real stallion, though. Anyway, Twist captures Button in an undignified, desperate kiss that leaves her lips and chin coated in drool by the time she pulls away.

Twist starts tugging at the fringe of her bra. Button responds to her silent pleas, pressing on her back to let her fall to him. Needless to say, he catches her. He undoes the clasp around the back while he says a little more sweet talk, followed by him pursing his lips. The poor fella’s arms are twitchier than a hamster on coffee. I’d prefer a stallion who could undo my bra's hook with one finger… Oh, who am I kidding. I'll never wear a bra.

I have to stifle a gasp. I’m honestly impressed at how much Twist has filled out over the years. Her breasts aren’t exactly perky, but they are meaty, which seems to please Button just fine. He rubs and paws at the massive amount of cream colored fluff before him. I see Twist’s mouth opening and closing rapidly. She’s moaning.

“Wow, a lifetime of gaming does wonders for a colt’s fingers…” Silvy murmurs with a bit of a growl.

There was this voice in my head telling me that it doesn’t matter how bored I am and that this is wrong, blah blah blah, what would Applejack think? Well, that voice is becoming harder to hear with every passing second. It’s strangely captivating to see Twist so promiscuous, but at the same time, vulnerable. Her chest is heaving and her eyes are fluttering as Button lays her down on the bed, flicking his tongue along the very tip of her areola. She’s flapping her lips again, I’m guessing to mutter some dirty talk, or praise Button for his mad skills.

“Hm.” Di starts stroking her chin. “You know, I thought some combination of patronizing insults would come to me, but I’ve got nothing. This is actually kinda cute.”

“Well, as cute as two somewhat outta shape teenagers gettin’ down an’ dirty can get,” I add. “Should we leave ‘em to it? Ah don’t wanna be responsible for ruinin’ mah old friend’s Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve.”

“Sounds fair,” says Silvy. “Show’s pretty much over, anyway.” She taps on the glass, pointing at Button, who reaches over to his lava lamp and flips the switch. His room’s gone all dark. Even though I can barely make out the dark figures of Button and Twist, there won’t be enough light for Silvy, Di and I to see anything spicy.

Di shrugs, stepping off the bed. “Well, good for them.”

My mouth hangs agape. I can’t help but laugh at how lost for words the former alpha mare of the schoolhouse has become. “Ah, reduced to watchin’ your victims from a distance and turnin’ away the moment your common sense tells ya not to. Ah swear, Ah’m becomin’ more of a delinquent than ya ever was.”

Di pivots around, shooting me a loathing glare. “Oh, go blow a farmhand.”

“Give me a few months.” I smirk and point at myself. “Anyway, whaddaya wanna do now? Ah don’t wanna go home in this weather.” I look to the window again, Di and Silvy mimicking me. Even if Button hadn’t turned the light off, his and Twist’s escapades would have been impossible to see through all this snow, given a few minutes. “Ah don’t think this weather is gonna let up anytime soon.”

“There’s a Power Ponies Christmas Special on,” Di suggests, waving her hand at the big screen. “That could be stupid fun.”

“Or…” Silver Spoon begins with a sorta promiscuous sounding chuckle.

Any snow that falls near the tub melts into drops of water, becoming one with the steam. The balcony of the apartment was the last place I wanted to be on a frigid night like this, but the moment Silvy mentioned that Di has been hiding a goldarn hot tub under our muzzles, I couldn’t resist. It’s a fancy little thing, too. Cupholders, neon lights and a bubble dial. Diamond Tiara stands by it in her robe, stroking the padded fringe like a model on a game show. “It came with the apartment. It was just out here, collecting dust, so I cleaned it up a little and tried it out. Lying realtor said it was broken.”

“He was prob’ly tryin’ to getcha someplace more expensive,” I say.

“Cold, cold, cold! Out of my way, out of the way!” Silver Spoon chants. She’s half-running to the hot tub in nothing but an old beach towel and something else tucked under her arm. She throws off the towel as she sinks into the water, letting out a sigh of contentment. “Ah, thank goodness…”

“What do you have there?” Di asks her.

Silvy shows off a black bottle of something that’s clearly alcoholic. “You had some hard grape juice in your pantry, and I figured, hey, it’s Hearth’s Warming Eve, let’s go a little bonkers!” She presents three curved glasses, which fit perfectly into the cup holders. After that, she tries to undo the cap, but that leads nowhere fast. When her hand inevitably turns red, she hands the bottle to me. “Could you, please?”

It’s still incredibly weird for me, hearing her asking me for favors, but I have a hankering for some grape juice as well. I grab the bottle and take off the cap with one flex of my thumb.

“Was that a twist off?” Di asks.

“Eenope,” I say.

“Jeez.”

I hold the bottle outward, aiming the nozzle to the sky. “Watch me hit Orion in the can.” I press on the cork, and in just a few seconds, there’s a satisfying pop as the cork goes flying off into the night. I can only hope it doesn’t land on somepony’s head on the way down.

Silvy stands up in the tub and holds her hands up high, making a loud splash. “Woo! Look at it go!”

Di and I turn our heads simultaneously, eyeing Silvy with the exact same look of bewilderment.

“What?” she asks, lowering her arms. She blinks a few times before she looks down and sees exactly what we’re ogling her for. In the rush of the moment when she was heading for the tub, we hadn’t noticed that she wasn’t wearing a swimsuit, or anything for that matter. “Oh. I thought it was implied that we would be skinny dipping. Was that not implied?”

I look over at Silver's body, drawn to it like a moth to flame. Thanks to the red light of the tub, her fur is a beautiful color reminding me of a pearl, and the rest of her body is an effin’ racing track, being all sensual curves, but sturdy enough to justify her job as a model. Her breasts aren’t large, but they are perfect for her narrow body, and her hips stick out with a proud femininity, drawing my attention downward to her smooth nethers. “Like a flower in a sea of lilies,” I say.

Silvy scoffs at me and points at the simmering water. “Stop being a poet and get in, before you get ice in your hooves.”

My thoughts exactly, I’m shivering here. I take a step forward before I realize something. Looking down, I tug on the collar of my tank top and see that the sacred apples don’t have any cover. “You know…” I scratch the back of my head. “It’s funny that Silvy got naked before Ah did.”

“You d—” Di points at me, her face growing more confused by the second. “Oh, for the love of… Of course Hayseed goes commando just in case a farmhand happens by.”

I glare at her. “Oh, don’t be such a prude. You’ve seen hooters at yer job.”

“Tons,” Silvy comments, leaning over the edge of the tub.

Di seems disappointed with Silvy, along with everything else in existence. She folds her arms and scoffs, not even having the humor to look at me as I grab the bottom of my tank top and begin to lift it.

Now, I ain’t one to toot my own horn, but I’ve always carried a bit of luggage around. I tend to wear loose clothes, so the girls don’t seem so large at first glance. But I like to think of my body as a silent predator, in a sense. I see a pair of jaws between Di and Silvy so wide that I have a laughing fit by the time I get my shirt off. I strip out of my jeans, exposing my furrier nethers to my former nemesi. Sadly, my figure is less like an hourglass and more like a top-heavy martini glass. My sister and I jokingly dubbed it the Appletini Curse.

Di rubs her temples and sighs. “Like an apple colored giraffe.”

I’m about to make a snide comment about that, but I’m preemptively silenced by a pat on the bum. I look behind myself at Silver Spoon’s smirking mug. Well, there’s no point in standing naked in the cold. I hop into the tub and let the warm water utterly decimate any remnants of cold on my body. It’s either the heat or the jets firing between my legs, but I’m turning more red than yellow.

Silvy leans forward eagerly as Di begins to slip her hands beneath her robe. With a tug, the robe falls to the floor, revealing Di’s smooth rouge bikini. “Aw, that’s it?” Silvy asks. “You gotta learn to live a little. Swallow your pride, baby. Put on a show!”

With a blush to rival mine, Di reaches for the back of her neck. “Alright…” With a tug on the strings, her top comes loose, revealing the second pair of smooth, silky, perky breasts I’ve seen tonight.

Silver Spoon gives a low, wolfish whistle. “This is why you can’t get a bust made, Di, ‘cause you’ve already got the best of the breast!”

Di blushes and throws her top at Silver, mock-angrily. “Oh shut up, Spoon. You know I’m only doing this because you two forgot your swim clothes… and your humility!”

“Ta be fair,” I put in, “Ah ain’t worn swimmin’ clothes since that last swim competition me an’ Granny were in.”

Di rolls her eyes as she unties her bikini bottom, letting the fabric flutter to the ground. I take a casual peek at her polished pelvis.

“Huh. Honestly, Kinda surprised you’re a shaver,” I comment. “Some folks Ah’ve seen shave it ta look like their mark, for whatever reason.” I look up at her and grin cheekily. “Nice to see you’re ‘blank’ though.”

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”

“Kay.” I put my fingers up in a rectangle and click with my tongue and teeth. I give a whistle as I look at my imaginary camera’s negatives. “If only Featherweight was here, he could help me develop these.”

Silvy snorts at that. “Develop what? She already is, Hayseed. Besides, Featherweight’s mine.” Di’s starting to shiver, and Silver’s getting impatient. “Get in here already, Queen of Cold And Perky Nips, before you freeze everything off.”

Di lifts her long, meticulously combed legs over the edge of the tub and scoots over to the corner, obviously trying to stay as far away from me as possible. She takes one of the glasses from the cup holders. “Fill me up, will you?”

Silvy grabs the bottle of wine and does just that. The amount she pours seems a little excessive, but I can assume she’s trying to loosen Di up a little. She gives my glass the same treatment, which I appreciate. “Hooray for underage drinking,” I say, tilting my head back and letting the sweet and tart flavor run down my throat. “Woo!”

“And a yeehaw right back atcha, farm girl,” Di says as she and Silver clink their glasses and take a short pull. “I’ve been looking for a reason to break this stuff out. Thanks, Silv.”

I raise my glass, offering my thanks as well. “Now I don’t feel bad about askin’ what Ah’m about ta ask. Y’all were sayin’ about Featherweight?”

Silvy flushes. She can’t hide her red cheeks behind her spectacles. “Oh, goodness.” She takes an especially long drink, nearly emptying her glass. “That was a while ago. I needed a photographer so I could put together my modeling portfolio, and Featherweight offered up almost instantly. I swear, kid can bend light to his will. With him around, I’m gonna look young forever!”

“Ah don’t think he signed up to exercise his talents…” I say.

“Why, whatever do you mean?” Silvy says boastfully, stretching out her arms and showing off her figure. “Besides, I did repay him for his kindness during our last photoshoot.”

“Let me guess. You were doing nudes that day?”

Silvy raises her glass. “Bingo!” She drains the rest of the grape juice and quickly goes for a refill. “You know, for a lanky boy, he is surprisingly large… Not much to talk about in the girth department, though.”

“So that’s the skinny, huh?” I smirk. “Long story, but no depth?”

“Oh, give me a break…” Di grimaces.

I elect to ignore her, taking another drink and searching my memory for one of my more memorable experiences that don’t involve farmhands. That’s when I remember one of the spicier summer afternoons I’ve experienced. “Well, Ah had the estrus pangs somethin’ fierce a couple a’ months ago, and who should happen by when I was movin’ hay bales but our favorite teenage dragon—”

Silvy holds out her hand. “That doesn’t count.”

“What?”

“Look, I love Spike as much as the next pony. He’s sweet, and cute, and hung like hell, but seducing him is like playing volleyball on a tennis court.”

“Ah repeat, what?”

“Let’s face it, Hayseed,” says Di. “Spike is a total slut.” She raises her glass to her lips once again, before bursting into song. “He’s cheap! He’s easy! He’s big—”

“—and hardly sleazy!” Silvy ripostes. “He’ll fill you right up—”

“—like fine wine in my cup!” Di returns as Silver tops her off.

“He’s a dragonborn colt, but he isn’t a dolt! His chiseled, toned pecs make him a sight worth the sex!”

The two look at each other, smiling at some shared joke. “He’s got that slappable butt that I knew in my gut was a thing he could strut and with me he would rut but that all goes to shoooowww~!” They look at me and throw back their wine, before splashing me as they bring their arms down. “Heeee’s a sluuuut~!”

Silvy refills her and Di’s glasses. “So yeah, anyway...”

“What about you?” I ask Di. Her head is lolling a little, so I know she’s much more open to suggestion than she was ten minutes ago. “When was the last time somepony appraised yer diamond?”

“Huh?” she asks, stopping mid-drink.

“Ya know, polished yer pearl.” I wink at her. “Come on, Di. We’re all friends, here. Don’t leave us hangin’.”

Di pinches the bridge of her muzzle. “Okay, fine…” She lets Silvy fill up her glass again. She drains the whole thing in a few seconds. “It’s not embarrassing, but I wish I had something as good as Spike. At least he’s all stallion, in a sense.” She exhales. “Lickety Split.”

It may be the alcohol, but that takes a moment to wash over me. “Ah.”

Silvy blinks a few times before opening her mouth. “Wait. Lickity’s gay.”

Di chuckles sensually before running her hands down her body. “Oh, please. Even a twink like him has to have a gray area. Who can resist this?” She drops the naughty look. “I’m not even kidding. He actually asked me, and when I mentioned what side of the street he walks on, he told me, ‘Nopony is that gay.’”

“That makes sense, Ah suppose,” I say. “Even the straightest straight fella has that one colt they’d have sex with.”

“Yeah, like me for you.”

Silvy said that a little louder than I think she intended, causing the whole conversation to fall over dead. Even the hot tub’s jets seem a little quieter now.

Her eyes dart around behind her glasses. “Whoops.”

“Got the hots for the down n’ dirty farm girl, Silv?” Di asks, probably a little more incredulously than she’d wanted. “Should have known something was up. You blush every time you eat an apple.”

Silver blushes hotly. I suppose she’s going to steer into the skid instead of resisting it. “Well, yeah! She works out practically for a living! And while I’m not exactly lacking in ‘assets,’ I still feel like the chairmare of the itty-bitty-titty-commitee whenever I’m around you and firm ol’ Applemelons over there!”

Part of me is still stepping back from the humbling notion that one of the sexier mares in Ponyville has been harboring a crush on me, but another part wants to humor her. I slide over to Silvy, wrapping my arm around her back and squeezing her shoulder. “Well, Ah thank ya kindly, but keepin’ this figure ain’t easy. Ah can’t eat all the sugary foods Ah’d like to. Only one shake or malt a week if Ah’m lucky, for example. Ah’m out there buckin’ trees from sunrise to sunset—”

“—and bucking farmhands from sunset to sunrise,” Di adds. “And can I just say that you have no impulse control compared to me? I had to cut out coffee to maintain this lovely figure.”

“Aw, you’re so wasting away!” Silvy says in a mocking tone. "Tell that to the empty pack of donuts I found in the trash yesterday."

Di suddenly seems very interested in whatever happens to be behind her, but before she turns away, her cheeks puff up like heated marshmallows. “Well, those could have been any-"

"I sure as hell didn't eat them, and they weren't there until after you got home. You told me you were going clothes shopping.” She brushes her chin as she turns to me. “Apple Bloom, we are in a hot tub, and Di is obviously lying. Does that make Di a steaming liar?"

I ponder that for a moment, then raise a finger. "Naw, Ah think she's just in hot water!"

“Oh, please!” Di shouts, furrowing her brow. “Donuts are such peasant food! I wouldn’t be caught dead eating that slop!”

If she’s flustered now, I can’t imagine how furious she’ll get when I present the revelation that just came to me. "Goddesses... Di, Ah think Ah've figured ya out! Ya hate anythin' mildly popular, claimin' it's beneath ya. Ya never participated in group activities in school. Ya never come to Sweetie Belle's concerts or rehearsals..."

"Hayseed, shut it."

I point at her like an attorney accusing a witness. "Yer the ultimate hipster!"

It’s probably the hot tub, but I like to imagine that steam is coming out of Di’s ears. She’s a boiling volcano just about to erupt. I’m about to relax and let her cool off, but Silvy decides to stand up and take things a little further.

"Oooohhhh, is that why you loved rubbing your hips against mine when we were kids, Di? Bump bump..." she gets in close to Tiara's face, her eyebrows wiggling. "Sugar lump..." Her mouth curls into a sultry smirk, she moves her hands along her friend's arm, Tiara trying to lean away, blushing, "Rump!" Silver rears back, pulling Di up and out of the water, and slaps a hand across the prissy princess' positively pleasant-looking posterior.

"Okay, that's it!" Di leaps out of the hot tub. She tries to hide her face, but I can see her blush. She can't claim it was the tub's lights; they're currently rotating through blues and greens. "I'm toweling off. You neophytes can prune up for all I care." She stomps to the sliding glass window and slams it shut behind her.

“Well, that was huffy,” I say.

Silvy just sighs. "Her head is still adapting to the world outside of her ass."

I look over my shoulder. Di has wrapped a towel around her torso and her head. She’s turning on the television as she takes a seat. Whatever miffed expression she was showing earlier has faded away, but even so… “D’you think she’s gonna be okay?”

"Don't worry about it. She values your friendship too much to let a minor squabble get her tail in a bunch. As for me, it's nice to have somepony a little more humble to talk to." Silvy takes a swig of her hard grape juice, then reaches out of the water to wrap her arm around me again. "How about a kiss?"

It’s a little weird, but I’m not about to turn that offer down. She does look really pretty in the moonlight, and I’d hate to leave her hanging after she fessed up her little crush on me. It seems only fair that I reward her. "Only if ya think you can wrassle with me, little missy."

"Oh, trust me; my tongue is quite versatile, country girl." Her expression couldn’t be naughtier if she tried.

I drain my glass and set it on the edge of the tub. Silvy's muzzle is already touching mine as I grab her shoulder. My au naturale lips meet her smooth and luscious ones.

I don't get as many chances to kiss mares as I'd like, so Silvy is a real breath of fresh air. Even if I'm inhaling most of her breath. She anticipates where I move my tongue before I even think to move it. I wonder if she and Di practice a lot... Wow, this hot tub just got hotter.

"Mmm... this is almost as steamy as going to the day spa after hours," she moans breathily as we break apart. Before I can say anything in return, she's already attacking me, her tongue flying circles around my tongue, riding it harder than a rodeo bronco. I have to throw in my own tongue movements to counter her attacks. She pulls away again, licking my lips before she whispers, “I guess country girls are muscular everywhere.”

“Damn straight. Get back here.”

I grab the sides of her head and pull her back up against me. My thumbs find her ears, which I scratch affectionately. Her voice shudders as I do so. “Effin’ A…”

I find my back starting to slip against the side of the tub, which Silvy starts taking advantage of. I can feel her lifting her knees onto my seat, with her firm rump rubbing into the matted fur of my leg. I have to tilt my head to meet up with her mouth, which presses harder against mine as if she’s trying to force her tongue down my throat.

The answer as to why she’s being so forceful is answered by her sliding her dripping hand up my stomach and groping one of my breasts. “Meant to tell you earlier, but you have amazing tits…”

“Yeah, it’s a curse.”

She lays down another kiss, this one on my cheek. “Oh, that’s what all you big boobers say. Just take the damn compliment.” She keeps pecking me, pressing her lips to my chin, then my neck. She looks up at me, baring her teeth. “May I?”

“Hell yeah.”

She puckers her mouth over where my neck and shoulders merge, finding the least muscular area I’ve got, and bites down. From there, it’s like a miniature explosion spreading throughout my veins and ending at my crotch. I can’t help but thrust my hips at the air, creating waves in the hot tub.

Silvy releases her teeth’s grip on my weak spot and pulls away. It’s only visible through the corner of my vision, but there’s definitely a bruise there. I guess I’ll borrow one of Di’s scarves when I go back to the farm, then break out Braeburn’s makeup kit until my fur grows over the bruise.

Silvy releases my breast and my shoulder, reaching behind her head. She pulls the pins out of her hair, severing the bonds of her tight bun and causing all of her slick, silvery hair to cascade onto her shoulders. She’s revealed a side of herself I’ve never seen before. “Whatcha do that for?” I ask, my voice somewhat stuck in my throat.

“I only let my hair down on very special occasions.” She touches the peak of my cleavage with her finger, teasingly running it up and down my chest and in circles around my tits, giving me a hard squeeze for good measure. It’s tight enough to make me inhale quickly, nearly causing me to hiccup.

I reach around her back and pull her back in for another brief kiss. “Well, it looks good on you.” Our tongues continue their battle, exploring everything. She traces hers along the top row of my teeth, while I feel for the moist sides of her mouth. So much saliva.

When the kiss ends, both of our breaths are heavy and almost labored. Our eyes are lowered and our expressions are lustful. There’s only one way this can go.

Silvy licks the inside of my ear and pushes away my wet hair. Her breathy voice is coated in sweet ambrosia as she whispers, “I want you, Bloom.”

Her hips have risen above the water. I smirk, walking my fingers up her leg, then slap her on the cutie mark. As she lets out a dissonant squeak, I say, “Well, there ya go! Ah was havin’ difficulty catchin’ on, me bein’ a dumb farmgirl an’ all.”

Silvy bites down on my ear. I can feel it, but it ain’t hurting compared to what she did to my neck. “You are just incorrigible.” She stands up the rest of the way, slowly raising her amazingly sleek legs out of the water. “I’m gonna go dry off. You meet me in the guest bedroom in five minutes.”

I lean my head back. “Heh, an’ what if Ah don’t?”

She turns around in front of the door, shamelessly showing off her wet, slender body. She places one hand on her hip and the other over her breasts, both of which are laden with droplets. It’s like water is magnetized to her most attractive portions. “Or you lose me forever, Hayseed,” she purrs.

“I doubt that,” I mutter, listening to the door shut behind her. “Y’all’d just come back on your hands an’ knees beggin’ for a lick a’ the old apple…”

I look at my hands. I’ve never liked how my fingers look when my skin starts to get pruney, and I’m not about to run the risk of not looking my best for Silvy. If I’m gonna please her, I’m gonna please her right, and that means getting out of this hot tub.

I lift myself out of the water and hit the balcony walking, grab my clothes and a towel, and open the sliding glass door, stepping inside before my body can comprehend how cold it is. Thankfully, Di was nice enough to turn up the heat, so any errant cold I feel ends up disappearing in a heartbeat.

Speaking of Di, she’s doing the same as she was before, relaxing on the couch with towels covering her. I have to admit, even with her hair and body all wrapped up, she looks good. I can’t imagine how much effort goes into keeping her coat trimmed like this. I can respect her for that sort of dedication. If only she put that much effort into being a nicer pony…

“Howdy,” I say with a wave.

“Hey there, Hayseed…” she mutters. She doesn’t seem happy to see me, and I don’t think that has to do with me strutting around her apartment buck naked. Her arms are folded, her face turned away. She seems a lot more focused on the big screen. I turn to see whatever it is she’s watching.

“Daring Do Saves Hearth’s Warming Eve?” I ask in disbelief.

Di lets out a guilty sigh. “Yep. It is literally—”

“Figuratively.”

“Literally the stupidest thing in the world. The acting is horrendous, the special effects and lighting are horrible, I hate that reindeer that follows Daring around, and…” She sighs again. “I watch it every year.”

"Ah still can't believe they took a character like Holly Hooves an' turned him into a sidekick for Darin’ Do. Ah mean, up 'til the princesses were able to get to the Crystal Empire after dealing with Discord, he was the only thing keepin' the crystal ponies fightin' against Sombra. Most any foal who's been through a high school level ancient history class knows that."

Di smiles weakly. “Hey, it’s only because of you that I even passed history…”

I sit with her, finding myself getting a little absorbed into the movie. It’s the part where Holly trips over his own cloven hooves, accidentally triggering some sort of physics-defying Rupee Goldberg device that catapults a giant candy cane over a wall, somehow knocking the group of guards behind it unconscious.

"Holy horseshoes, Daring Do!" the annoyingly naive character says as they clamber over the fence. "I think these fellas just got citizen caned!"

I feel a little guilty for laughing at that. “There’s stupid, an’ then there’s stupid fun.”

“It’s the first Hearth’s Warming special I ever watched. Daddy bought it for me when I was a bratty toddler. He always watched it with me when the holidays came around.” Di plants her hand on her forehead. “I guess some traditions don’t last forever…”

“Not on good terms with Daddy Dearest these days?”

“Not in the slightest.” She leans her head back against the head of the couch. She’s still smiling, but I don’t think she’s having a happy memory. “But that’s sorta what happens when you steal your trust fund and hit the road.”

I’d likely stand up with my mouth wide open if I weren’t so relaxed. Instead, I turn to Di and ask, “What?” I try to bring out some sort of sentence demanding an explanation, but all I can say is, “How, and... why?”

“It was pretty simple, really… My eighteenth birthday came around a few weeks after graduation. Daddy had this huge party all set to go. But I wasn’t able to invite any of my friends, because, well… I didn’t have any. Not even Silver Spoon. She abandoned me, and I deserved it… So, there Daddy was, surrounded by his shareholders, ready to gift me a place in his company, along with a check for the hundreds of thousands of bits he had saved up for me since the day I was born. I set fire to a pillow in the living room, took advantage of the chaos to grab my check, ran, cashed that thing in, and bought myself this apartment.”

I stare blankly at Di as she turns to me. “Wow.”

“I know, right? Though I do regret not being able to see Daddy’s face when I sent him my first nude poster. I left a signature and a note saying that I was tired of being his perfect little rich girl, I wanted nothing to do with his company anymore, and told him not to come looking for me.”

“That’s…” I shake my head and blink several times. “Di, Ah’ve given ya a lot of sarcasm over the years, and don’t take this personally, ‘cause Ah ain’t ever had a father ta be mad towards, but... that’s, like, fifty levels of bitch.”

Di reaches over and pats me on the head with a wry smile and a roll of her eyes. “Thank you kindly.” Her smile slowly starts to disappear. “It felt good when I did it, but now I really hate myself for spitting in Daddy’s face…” She leans forward, her head falling into her hands. “I mean, he gave me everything I wanted, and I gave him a middle finger in return. Literally, I was flipping him off in the poster.”

“Ouch.”

“I guess I was just… Angry. At everyone.” She sighs, flopping back against the couch. “I think you can figure out what brought that on.”

I can definitely recall what happened before Di went on her little rampage. I remember red hair, a cream coat, a lot of yelling, the sound of jewelry shattering on the sidewalk.

“What the shit, Twist?!” I remember Di saying that as she picked up the pieces of her tiara. Her voice was shrill, with a little quiver. “I just said you look pretty! Jeez, maybe you should have been homeschooled in manners...”

“You shut up!” Twist had shouted, advancing on Di.

“Twist, hey, I didn’t mean—”

"I said shut up! I've had six months to perfect what I'm about to say, so you are going to shut the fuck up and listen! You are scum. Every day, from the moment you first set foot in this schoolhouse, you make it your personal mission statement to be a complete and total bitch to anypony who doesn't lick your hooves, shine your shoes, polish your tiara or worship the ground you walk on! That's why Silver Spoon is your only friend! I should know, she told me all about it! She's only friends with you because you have her wrapped around your perfectly groomed finger, and if she ever breaks it off with you she'll have nopony else because you turned her into as much of a bitch as you are!"

I had a feeling Di wanted to run, but she couldn’t. She was frozen in place as Twist leaned over her, absolutely spitting with anger.

"I remember. You insulted me for being a blank flank. You mocked my lisp. You called me a shovelface, a nerd, a geek, a four-eyes, anything that didn’t appeal to your standards... I remember every single time you hurt me. I'll tell you this: If I had known you’d accept me for who I am now, I wouldn’t have paid for a speaking coach, styled my mane or started eating again! You know something? I'd rather have a blank flank than a piece of jewelry for a cutie mark! Looking pretty, that's your only talent! You contribute nothing but pain and misery to everypony around you! You got that? You are not important!"

When all the students lined up to receive their diplomas, Twist wasn’t there, and neither was Diamond Tiara.

“I felt like hammered shit…” Di mutters.

“Ah’ll say. Ah dunno if ya remember, but when Ah found ya by the lake, y’all were so choked up that ya threw yerself around me.” It was miserable. She had me petting her mane and promising her that everything would be okay. By the time she had calmed down, my graduation dress had been thoroughly soaked with tears.

Di has her legs bent, with her arms tightly wrapped around her knees. “And I had it coming. I picked on a sleeping giant. It was just a matter of time before she woke up. Twist, she… Something about what she said changed me. You and the Crusaders took me down a few pegs before, but for the first time in my life, I felt completely unloved. I felt ugly. I think that’s why I became a model. Dolling myself up for hundreds of people to fawn over... I wanted to feel beautiful again.” She turns towards me. “I’m glad you’re my friend, Apple Bloom… I’ve never said this before, but if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to get Silver Spoon back, and then I’d really be alone… I hate being alone.”

“Preaching to the choir, Di,” I say. “Ah haven’t been been able to hang out with Sweetie or Scoots as much as Ah’d like. Ah don’t hate them for havin’ their careers set in stone, Ah just wish Ah had more time with ‘em.” I shake my head, wiping out all the negative thoughts. “Enough about me. This is about you.” I look back at Di, who looks genuinely happy now, gazing up at me with nothing but sentiment. “Anyway, feelin’s mutual, Di. You can still be a bitch, but yer a bitch hidin’ a trove of—”

“Diamonds?” she suggests with a small giggle.

“Ah was gonna say donuts or somethin’, but that’s even better. Oh, and by the way…” I scoot over to Di, lean in with my hand brushing her cheek, and give her a small kiss. “Don’t let anypony have ya convinced you ain’t anythin’ less than smokin’.”

Di wraps her arm around my back and pulls me into a half hug, something I never thought she’d ever do again. Still, I may as well accept it. Mmm… Di wears some powerful perfume. Even after that dip in the hot tub, she still smells like lilac and peaches. Along with a scent of—

“Apples?” I ask, pulling away slightly. “That’s a new one.”

And speaking of apples, Di’s face becomes a familiar hue. “Yeah, I’ve uh… I’ve acquired a taste for it.” She grins sheepishly. “Heh. Doesn’t smell as good as it does on you.”

“Me?” I ask. I raise my forearm to my muzzle and take a whiff. “Oh. Yeah, working on an orchard my whole life, that’s bound to happen. I’ll probably smell this way my whole life. I don’t even really notice it anymore.”

“It’s nice,” Di says, plain and simple.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…” Her hands are squeezing my arms, as if she’s holding on for dear life. It must be cathartic for her to have something meaty to squeeze. She turns her head, pressing her muzzle into my neck and nuzzling upwards, taking in my scent as she reaches my cheek. I think it’s official to say that she’s going beyond gentle affection, but here’s the real conundrum: should I want her to stop? Because I really don’t. I like the tickle of her nostrils inhaling over the forest-like patches of my fur. “You don’t have to even try to smell beautiful,” she mutters into the ungroomed fluff of my chest.

I’m on my knees at this point, but I’d rather be sitting down. I move my legs, intending to bring them around so I can sit properly, but in doing so my knee nudges up against something soft and wet, making Di tense up and let out an unpoised gasp.

“Whoop, sorry...”

“N-no, do that again…” she asks, squeezing harder. “Please.”

Call me a stupid farmgirl, but it takes me far longer than it should to process that request. More out of curiosity than anything else, I push forward again, eliciting more noise from the normally so proper Diamond Tiara. “Hm, it has been a long time for ya, huh?”

I’d expect her to reply with some sort of defensive backlash having to do with my country lifestyle, or something like that, but all she does is nod, putting on a reluctant smile. It almost looks wrong, seeing her like this. She’s normally so stoic and implacable, at least, that’s how her pin-ups make her appear. Yet, here she is, looking fragile enough to shatter with even the slightest touch.

It’s damn lucky for her that I’m a gentle filly.

My hand slithers between the layers of her towel, gliding up until I touch the fold over Di’s bust. With a little tug, the cloth comes loose, hanging limp over her body, parted at the top. Di reaches for the towel herself, though she lets me take her hands in hers as she removes the fluffy cloth from her body, unveiling her figure to me for the second time that night. Her body seems all the more supple and tender up close. I much prefer the real deal over her posters, and her sheepish yet excited look makes her all the more appealing.

I'll take a real apple over a two-dimensional picture any day.

Di and I stare at each other for just a second before we move in for a kiss. As our lips mash and our tongues connect, I realize that a few years ago, I would have done anything to see this mare fall from grace. I hated her. But now, well, she’s outright snuggly. Sexy. Fuckable. I may not be the most feminine mare, but I’m still attracted to femininity, and now that the selfish bitch who insulted me throughout school is gone, Di is a complete belle, even as she drags her lower leg, moaning in desperation as my hand passes over her vulva.

My breasts practically devour hers. She may be the model, but no matter how good her figure gets, she’ll be no match for my set. My tits are as much an Apple family trait as my butt. Di has figured that much out. She pushes on my ass, silently telling me to move forward. My hand goes along with me, two of my meaty fingers pushing their way inside her. I finger her with strength over speed. In response, Di moans loudly, but she silences herself when she clamps her mouth over my nipple and suckles like a baby. I find myself moaning myself when she licks and drags her teeth around my areolas.

Di bucks her hips rather violently as I keep digging my fingers deeper into her folds. She’s begging for it, but she’s still too proud to ask for it herself…

“Ahem.”

I turn my head, my devious expression disappearing as I remember a previous engagement. It seems that it has come back to chastise me.

Silver Spoon stands there, buck naked, freshly clean and dry. Her hands are clasped to her hips, her fingers flexing, and her brow is cocked as she stares at me in disappointment. At least, I think it’s disappointment.

Silvy holds out her hand and waves it in a circle. “I didn’t say stop.”

I look back at Di, who chuckles innocently, and I return the action, realizing what kind of silly yet also kind of amazing situation I’ve gotten myself into.

My back hits the bed, with Silver Spoon holding my shoulders in a vice grip like I can’t believe. Who woulda thought she’d be so strong? Maybe she only gets like this in the heat of passion, or I’ve just been caught off guard, but either way, after dominating both of these fine ladies, it’s time for me to surrender.

Silvy kisses me, practically forcing her lips against my muzzle, with her tongue demanding entry. I oblige and let that slender muscle of hers gently violate my mouth. She’s a wicked sorceress with her tongue. Feeling it slithering around in my mouth is almost as good as wrapping my lips around a muscular farmhand’s cock.

My legs start to twitch, my hips squirming as Diamond Tiara slips one of her little fingers inside of me. She must be getting revenge for me being a teasing bastard, but if this is revenge, then it is so sweet. As she slips another finger in there, swirling her hand around in circles to rub down every part of my inner walls, I moan uncontrollably into Silvy’s mouth.

As the minutes tick by, Di slowly adds the rest of fingers to the mix. Silvy finally pulls away from me, allowing me to breathe. She turns to Di and rubs her arm, prompting Di to pause her fingering, much to my dismay, and bring her hands to Silvy’s cheeks for a tender kiss. Almost as if that kiss is a passing of the guard, they switch places.

Silvy kisses the insides of my leg, giving them depraved, desperate licks. My fingers are digging into my palms, it feels so good, but it’s not enough. I want her tongue someplace special.

Di gently trails her hand over my back and pushes, turning me onto my side. We kiss, but this one is far more sweet and tender than Silvy’s. It feels much less like an assault on my mouth and more like a mutual exchange of fluids. It’s still sexy as hell, though. When our lips part, our tongues stay connected, swirling together, dripping saliva onto the pillow.

I can’t lavish Di as much as I’d like, as Silvy has wrapped her arm around one of my legs, lifting it into the air, and has gone to town on my clam, wrapping her whole mouth around it, licking, sucking and breathing into me. I have to break my kisses with Di often to let out gutteral moans and gasps.

My nipples are erect, and Di has taken notice of this. She pushes down on me, forcing me against the bed again, and moves her head down. Her lips close around one of my breasts, sucking in like a vacuum. I can feel her tongue on my bare fur beneath her lips, wetting my nipples and bringing them to a fine point.

It’s an utter sensory assault. My mind already feels rent by Silvy’s oral attacks on my insides, but Di has to back it up with ministrations of her own on my breasts. With my nerves going insane from the overload of mouth and tongue ravishing my body, I cum, so hard. I can’t imagine how much fluid I’m leaking, but I do know that Di’s gonna have to wash her sheets at least twice.

“Welp, Hayseed’s out,” Di says, crawling away from my twitching body. She moves around me, slithering up to Silvy, who is sitting on her knees. Di rubs up against Silvy’s thighs, moving her body up the grey mare’s slender frame. She kisses her breasts first, following up with several small nips and pecks up her neck. While her head travels upwards, her hand travels downwards. As does mine.

“That’s naughty, Di…” Silvy’s actions don’t exactly match up with her passive voice. She sounds dismissive of Di’s fingers, but the way she gyrates her hips to meet with those pristinely pink digits says what she really thinks. Yeah, she wants her friend to fuck her with her hand.

Di’s fingers are utterly soaked in Silvy’s juices with just a single pass. As she flexes her arm, giving Silvy’s pussy a sweet massage, she reaches up and taps Silvy’s shoulder with her free hand. I have no idea what that means, but apparently Silvy does; she raises her hand to Di’s mouth and lets the elegant filly suck on her fingers. Before today, I wouldn’t have ever thought that this would be considered erotic, but… fuck, that’s hot.

I dig a little deeper into myself, letting my legs squirm and kick at Di’s blankets. I must be quite the distraction from her little servicing job, as she immediately stops fingering and sucking on Silvy. “Do you mind? Honestly, you moan like a masochistic cow on milking day.” She sticks out her tongue at me.

“Ah’m sorry, did ya two want some private time?” I ask, folding my arms and legs. “Ah thought we were having an orgy here.”

Silvy pulls Di away from what I’m sure would have been a really snippy and adorably immature comeback. She gives her a desperate kiss, filling her mouth with a sexy little purr. “We are having an orgy. So, if Bloom wants to rub out a loud, screaming orgasm while we fuck each other senseless, what’s stopping her?”

“Quiet.” Di pushes on Silvy’s stomach. Silvy doesn’t seem like she was pushed all that hard, but she plays along, pratfalling onto her back. “Spread your legs. I’mma do to you what you did to Hayseed.”

Silvy folds her arms behind her head, taking on a relaxed demeanor as she does what Di told her. “Aren’t you confident. Nopony can do what I can do, but I won’t stop you from trying… Hhhmn!~” She let out a surprised moan as Di’s tongue parts her folds. She rests her hand on her friend’s violet mane. “Oh, well… That’s certainly trying.”

“Okay, this has been bugging me all night,” I ask, my voice punctured with my own breaths; I can’t stop rubbing myself at the sight of Di’s small, glossy lips pressing up against Silvy’s puffy, moist ones. “Have y’all been doin’ the nasty in yer free time? ‘Cause it sure sounds that way.”

Silvy blushes, though I’m half sure that’s from Di spreading her slit with a single thumb. “Not even! Aaah… Okay, a little.”

Di kisses the peak of Silvy’s wettening pussy. A small trail of nectar bridges from her lips to the delicate, puffy flower that I now know she’s had experience with. “Some days we have nothing to do. We get bored, I pin her to the ground, and we take turns making each other cum… Anypony ever do that for you, Hayseed? Huh?” She sneaks a glance at me as I carve even deeper into myself.

I do remember this one time at the pool last summer… Spike told an incredibly spicy story about a little student-teacher conference he had with Miss Cheerilee (Though the metaphor falls flat with him never being her student), and the thought of his slick dragon cock ravishing my busty former teacher had me in such a fluster, Scootaloo and I traded fluids around the corner to calm down. That was fun... Now, Di and Silvy, just going at it whenever they can, that’s also one hell of an image that makes my legs bend and my body tense up.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” Silvy shrieks. She sucks on a few of her own digits as Di laps up her juices, finally bringing her tongue to the clit. She inhales, sucking down on the little nub. Heh, and Di called me loud? But her loudness grinds to a screeching halt when Di decides not to give her the satisfaction. “Argh, Di, you fucking whore!” she groans as the pink pony removes her mouth.

Di smirks. She looks nothing less than evil, kneeling next to her writhing friend. “Oh, Hayseed.” She tilts her head my way. “Finish her off for me?”

I sit up and crawl, finally having the willpower to pull my fingers out of my pussy. I wipe off my nectar on the bed; it’s already soaked in girlcum anyway, so I don’t think it’ll matter to Di. I see the desperate and moaning Silvy with her legs spread before me. While it would be easy to just lick my lips, press them up against that soaked pussy and go to town, I think I’ll do something a bit more exciting.

I lift one of my legs and rest it on Silvy’s, then do the same with one of her legs on mine. “There we go,” I say as she gets off her back. Her mane is a bit of a mess, strands falling in front of her eyes, but that doesn’t stop her from having that perfect bedroom stare, that sense of take-me-home-and-fuck-me-until-I-can’t-walk that I suddenly find so appealing about her. “Rub yers against mine, okay? We’ll cum together.”

“You are my hero, Bloom.”

I kiss her, catching her by surprise. It doesn’t take long for the shock to wear off, though, as her lips press against mine, equalizing the playing field; neither of us dominates the other. Instead, we kiss as equals. In my experience with scissoring, and I’ve had a good bit of it, I’ve learned that this is the best way to get it done.

It’s awful lucky that Silvy and I have gotten all worked up like we have, since the pink of our slits are well exposed and our clits are out in the open. All it takes is a single thrusting of my hips, rubbing my folds up against hers, to make me purr. Sweat is starting to build up on my head and chest, though Silvy somehow manages to fight back perspiration, keeping her composure despite her fluttering eyelids and gaping mouth. Her head is nodding, moving with the rest of her body. She doesn’t quite have the same lower body strength that I do, so it’s no wonder that she has to use all of herself to rub her clit into me; I’m strong enough to buck into her with just my hips.

Silvy is exhaling rapidly. I can feel her hot breath on the moisture building up on my body. I’m sure she can feel my breath as well. I’m getting so hot… Hot for her. What was just going to be a bit of humor to appease her apparent crush on me has turned into something way better than I could have planned for. I’m scissoring one of the hottest things I’ve ever laid eyes on, and it feels so good.

Her moaning gives way to small shrieks, and her eyes can’t seem to stay open. Her bucking is getting more erratic and uncoordinated by the minute. She’s not the only one; I can feel myself peaking. “Close?” is all I can manage to ask Silvy between heavy breaths.

She nods, too hot and bothered to even speak. All she can do is vocalize how amazing this is. Again, she’s not the only one. I want to tell her how perfect her curves are, how snugglable her rack is, how much I want to slap her tight, rotund, thicker-than-diamond ass until she calls me Mistress. Yet, all I can do is moan for her in my deep, country accented voice. I guess that’s good enough.

I try to stop my bucking hips, just so I can savor the moment a little longer, but I can’t. With one last thrust, my clit collides with Silvy’s, and I feel the sensation rupture my veins once again. I’m cumming, and so is Silvy. We decide to take this mutual orgasm to its grave, each of us grabbing the others’ leg (She has difficulty getting ahold of mine, there’s so much thick muscle), and mashing our vaginas, and our juices in the process, into a messy, dirty, and yet incredibly sexy mess.

When we’re done, Silvy’s upper body sways a little before falling forward, her chin landing in my sweaty cleavage. She looks up at me with her once sultry gaze, now rent from a long and cathartic orgasm, prompting me to touch her mane. I dink around with the mussy parts of her mop, brushing the odd strands out of her face.

Once our fluster finally starts to wear off, I’m able to speak to her. “Ya ain’t gonna say ya love me, are ya?”

“Celestia, no,” she scoffs. “But I like you, and you’re fucking gorgeous, and I want to fuck with you whenever I can.”

I feel she deserves a kiss for the compliment, so I provide, bringing a smile to her face. “Yeah, Ah know. Just come by any time you have a hankerin’ for this farmgirl.”

“Alright, now that we know the Hayseed’s a sweet li’l apple, can we get away from her acreage and back to my luscious fields?” Di asks.

I look at Silver Spoon with a smirk, and she returns it soon after. “I dunno, Di," teases Silvy. "I mean, you did leave me teetering there, for a bit. That’s no way to treat a friend.”

“Eeyup.” I lean forward, my legs innocently swinging in the air. “Ah’m not sure if I can trust you to give as well as you receive after that pitiful display.”

Di, now beet-red and flustered, lunges at me. “Hey! You’re the pitiful one!” With a smirk, I grab Di’s shoulders and lift her over me, landing her on her back. Before she can let out a word of protest, Silver Spoon’s lower lips are already pressed into the prissy girl’s smug face.

It only takes a single grind to make Silvy start moaning again. “Mmmm.... Di, you’re doing much better this time,” she purrs as she runs a hand along my rump. “What do you think, sexy? How’s her lady lips compare to mine?”

Oh, this is gonna be fuuuun. Di lets out a muff-muffled moan as I trail a finger along her slit. “Well, it’s much pinker, but I’d have to give it a good taste test to make any real judgement, don’t ya think?”

Again, Di makes a bunch of unintelligible noises into Silvy, which I think is only making her enjoy it even more. The grey mare keeps bucking her hips, her blush contrasting with the rest of her lusty, sadistic expression. “Aaah… Don’t fight it, Di, ooh… Just enjoy the ride while it lasts.”

I take ahold of one of Di’s smooth, slender legs and give her a lick, swirling my tongue as I trail up to her thighs. I leave a hefty trail of mussy fur and saliva in my wake. Hearing her moan at my touch makes me feel a little tingle in my crotch. Goodness, I must be hornier than I thought I was. And, for that matter, so is Di. It only takes a single brush of my tongue along her smooth pelvis to make her drain a fresh trail of marecum.

If a pussy could beg, Di’s would. I can tell; she wants me to give her my strong tongue, and not stop until me, her and the bed are absolutely drenched in her juices. Frankly, after seeing her torture Silvy, I’m okay with that. She looks so sexily vulnerable, lying prone and licking away at Silvy, who leans over and gropes her friend’s supple tits. “Mmmm, not bad…” Silvy gives her a squeeze as she peers up at me through her mess of a mane. “She’s pretty good with her mouth, Bloom. I bet yours is better by a longshot.”

“Eeyup.” I show her, pressing the flat of my tongue to the very base of Di’s slit and making circles over her folds. Her legs twitch in response, and I can hear more restrained moans trying to escape from her mouth. No doubt that only serves to please Silvy even further.

While Silvy keeps rubbing herself on Di’s mouth, she leans over to get a good look at me while I puncture Di’s sweet pussy. “Hmmm, even your tongue has muscles. Must be from sucking all that farmhand cock.” The red on her face turns an even deeper shade as I flick the very edge of Di’s clit. “Ooooh, I can feel her breathing into me.”

“You’re both gonna pay…” I hear Di mutter beneath the cover of Silvy’s nethers.

Silvy sits up once again, rolling her hips to shut Di up. “Shut up and eat, dear. Make me cum.” She casts her head back and hisses, treated to a particularly strong lick. Her whole body flows and fluctuates like water, her hips rotating and thrusting as if she were pretending to be a Saddle Arabian belly dancer. “Mmm, naughty girl. You know what I like, don’t you? You know me inside and out. I love it when you lick my—” Di opens her mouth wide open and closes her lips around Silvy’s nub. “Oooh, like that! Keep doing that, it feels so good...”

I wouldn’t be surprised if I saw steam coming from Silvy and Di’s mouths at this point. I decide to bring Di a little closer to a climax, sticking my thumbs into her folds and parting them, revealing all of her tiny clit to me. So small, so sensitive, too. I pucker my lips and blow.

“Aaah, Hayseed!” Di yells, thrusting her hips at me, giving me a faceful of vagina and coating my muzzle in her juices. It’s pretty obvious that she’s about to cum, so I’m gonna make this one count. She deserves it. I take a page out of her book and start sucking on her clit. I bury my muzzle in deep, never letting up on her, and she shows her approval by wrapping her legs around my back. “That’s good, that’s good…” I blow on her again, following up with a heavy lick. “Oh, ooooh…”

Silvy has her hands behind her head, surrendering herself to what looks like an impending climax. Turns out, I’m right; Di grabs Silvy’s cutie mark on both sides, and with a few long ministrations on her nub, she loses all control, thrashing around, unable to get a grip on anything, calling out sweet nothings to the ceiling. I rise up, keeping my central digits inside Di, and wrap my free arm around Silvy. Her body jerks against mine, trembling as she rides out her orgasm on Di’s nectar-drenched face. She keeps her arms held to my back as she removes her puffy slit from her friend, only letting go as her orgasm begins to recede.

Now free of Silvy’s punishment, Di is finally able to sit up. I snicker, greatly enjoying her lap up whatever Silvy left on her. Something tells me she’s going to need a long shower tomorrow, but at the very least, I can help her get clean.

“What are you smirking at?” she snips at me with a villainous glare.

“Oh, nothin’. It’s just that Ah’ve always pictured you like this. Lyin’ around, all flustered, wet, blushin’ and gettin’ stuff on yer face.” Before she can open her mouth, I press my lips up against her muzzle, prematurely ending whatever she was about to say. “How does it feel to be me for an evenin’?”

Di ponders that for a moment, leaning back and stroking her chin. I don’t have to wonder what she’s thinking about for long, since her face is slowly turning more red than pink. “Honestly, Hayseed… I like to think I have a bit more dignity than you. I mean, anypony with a little bit of restraint has more dignity than you. But even so, I am starting to see why you get your kicks from farmhand dicks.”

I finish that thought for her. “‘Cause it feels so damn good. Besides, Ah need somethin’ to do when I ain’t workin’ the fields or designin’ shit.”

“Oh snap, I just realized something.” Di brushes her hand across my cheek as she laughs out loud. “Hayseed, I may be a hipster, but you’re a damn hedonist.”

“The one an’ only.”

With that all said, Di kisses me, placing her other hand to my cheek. Our lips lock in a gentle competition, with us making subtle efforts to overtake the other. If this is what having sex with Diamond Tiara is like, I could get used to it. I like a little competition in the bedroom, it makes things more exciting, and in the end, nopony really loses.

I can tell that Di is far too tuckered out to let the rest of the night be anything more than this. So, with a little push on her back from me, we both fall onto the bed, our kiss breaking the instant our heads hit one of the pillows. Even after it ends, though, we continue touching each other, my fingers combing her luscious locks and her hands squeezing and kneading my muscles.

Of course, Silvy isn’t one to be left out. She lies down next to me, her head resting on her palm as she taps her pillow. It’s a mock show of boredom, like she expects me to say something to her. Ah, hell. What’s the harm in it? I beckon to her, and she responds with an embrace from behind. I can feel her wet legs pressing into mine as she nips at my neck, trailing kisses up my head until she reaches the tip of my ear, which she gently nibbles on.

This whole situation is downright hysterical. There’s no other word for it. I’m in Diamond Tiara’s bed on Hearth’s Warming Eve, being admonished with kisses and lovebites from my former arch nemesi, and I’m hugging them back. I don’t intend on letting Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon go until the morning light. Hell, if I didn’t have a previous engagement, I’d stay with ‘em all of tomorrow. Granted, that would get me some flak from Applejack… but it’d be worth it.

If I told my younger, more immature, cutie mark-less self that she’d be sleeping with the two ponies she hated more than anything in the world, she’d probably think I had lost my sanity in a ditch or something. But that’s the beauty of life, isn’t it? You don’t intend for this sort of crazy stuff to happen, but that’s what makes it all the more wonderful when it happens. I love this. I love every second of it.

I lay one more kiss on both Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara’s heads. While the former tightens her grip on me and gets even more snuggly, the latter looks up at me and asks, “So, which of your farmhands is the most hung?”