A Draconequus' Guide to Immortality

by ArgonMatrix

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Discord
Length: 7106

After suffering an internal crisis at her coronation party, Twilight gains a bit of insight on immortality from the likeliest of unlikely sources.

At her coronation after-party, Twilight gets a little freaked out at the prospect of growing into her new life, especially one specific aspect of it. She knows better than anyone that talking her problems over with a friend can help tremendously, but she doesn't have many friends with whom she'd be comfortable talking about this particular problem, let alone ones who would really understand what she's going through.

...unless she broadens her definition of "friend."

Now with a reading, courtesy of PresentPerfect! Go check it out, if you're so inclined.
Ahora en español gracias al maravilloso trabajo de SPANIARD KIWI!
(Now in Spanish thanks to the brilliant work of SPANIARD KIWI!)

Published 2014-02-24 05:30:07 UTC
Last updated 2014-02-24 05:30:07 UTC

Plums Deify

“Congrats again, Twi!” Spike said, throwing his arms around the slumped alicorn and ruffling her dress. She didn’t so much as flinch from her slow trot. “I still can’t believe that you’re a princess. It’s so awesome!”

Twilight smiled under half-lidded eyes. “Thanks, Spike, but you’ve already told me that eight times tonight. You can stop now.”

“Well, you can hardly blame the darling, Twilight,” Rarity said from her side, sidestepping to avoid a passing dancer. “We’re all so very proud and excited for you!”

“Darn tootin’!” Applejack said, beaming from Twilight’s other side. “You deserve all the praise you get tonight and more, so don’t go complainin’ about it.” The group of four arrived at a small, round table. They all settled into their seats. Spike unlatched himself from Twilight and took a seat between her and Rarity.

“Don’t get me wrong,” Twilight said. “I really do appreciate all of it, but it gets tiring after everypony congratulating me all night. So can we please just agree to no more princess-talk for tonight? I’m perfectly happy to just sit and relax with all my friends.”

Rarity smiled. “Well if that’s what you want, dear, of course.” She took a small sip of punch from her glass. “Speaking of our friends, where are the others?”

“Looks like they’re still out on the dance floor,” Applejack said, gesturing a hoof forward. Pinkie Pie jumped high above the crowd like a rubber ball bouncing in rhythm with the music. Her hat bobbed on her head, somehow not falling off. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy danced together near the edge of the crowd.

Spike twiddled his thumbs together. “Hey, uh, Rarity? Do you wanna dance?”

Rarity smiled at him and patted his frills gently. “Oh, no thank you, Spike. I believe I’ve had my fill of dancing for this evening—don’t want to sweat too much in this beautiful dress, you know.”

“Oh, okay,” Spike said, falling into a slouch.

Frowning, Rarity bit her lip and scanned the room for a moment. Her eyes lit up and she gestured to a nearby table. “Spike, why don’t you go ask Sweetie Belle? I’m sure she would love to dance with you.”

Spike glanced ahead. The Cutie Mark Crusaders all sat together around a small table. Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom giggled as Scootaloo made some wild gestures around herself. Spike turned to Rarity’s shining face. “Uh, sure. Alright.” He hopped down from his chair and walked over to the table.

Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack all smiled as Spike approached Sweetie Belle. He rubbed one arm with the opposite claw and gestured to the dance floor with his head. Gentle flames lit behind Sweetie Belle’s cheeks as she smiled and nodded. Spike took her by the hoof and led her to the crowd. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo giggled as they watched the pair go.

“Isn’t that just precious?” Rarity said, blinking a bit quickly. “Sweetie Belle’s growing up so fast.”

“So is Spike,” Twilight said, smiling wide at the dragon. “He’s so much more mature than he used to be.”

Applejack smiled a bit as she looked back at the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ table. Apple Bloom lifted her dress and looked at her flank as though she’d been expecting a giggle-at-your-dancing-friend cutie mark, but her face fell at the sight of her blank coat. “Won’t be long before them three finally get their cutie marks,” Applejack said. She chuckled. “I still remember back when they started that little club—”

“What are we looking at?” The three mares turned to find Princess Celestia smiling over at Spike and Sweetie Belle along with them. She turned to meet their wide eyes. “Sorry. I do have a way of sneaking up on ponies. Do you mind if I join you?”

Twilight smiled. “Not at all, Princess! Please.” She gestured to Spike’s empty seat.

Celestia chuckled as she pulled up her chair. “Please, Twilight. You’re a princess now too. Just call me Celestia.”

Twilight blinked. “Sorry… Celestia. We were just watching Spike and Sweetie Belle dance.” She turned back to look at the dance floor just as the song came to an end. A moment later, a slow, melancholic cello filled the room. Spike and Sweetie Belle stared at each other blankly for a few moments, nervously glancing around as mares and stallions pulled each other close. Eventually, Spike held out a claw, and Sweetie Belle gave him her hoof not a moment later.

A little squeak lifted from the table. All the others turned to look at Rarity who was holding a hoof to her mouth. “Would you all excuse me for a moment? I need to fetch my camera.” She stood, hastily bowed to Celestia, and cantered off into a nearby hall.

Celestia looked back at Spike as he led Sweetie Belle in slow circles. “You’ve done very well by him, Twilight,” she said. “I still remember the day you hatched him. You were so worried about helping him grow.”

A faint pink crossed Twilight’s cheeks. “I couldn’t have done it without your help, Princess. And the rest of my family, the castle staff…”

“You really need to learn how to take a compliment, sugarcube,” Applejack said, smirking. Twilight rolled her eyes.

“As I recall,” Celestia continued, moving to look at Twilight, “that day was important for more than one reason.” Twilight followed Celestia’s gaze to the area on her dress where her flank would be. She smiled.

“Hey, Princess,” Applejack said. “Speaking o’ that, I don’t think I’ve ever heard the story of how you got your cutie mark.” Applejack grinned and tipped her plumed hat. “I bet that’s one doozy of a story.”

“I’m sure it is, Applejack,” Celestia said, keeping her smile straight. “I wish I could remember it.”

Both Twilight and Applejack quirked their eyebrows. “You don’t remember how you got your cutie mark?” Twilight said. “But I could’ve sworn you told me that story as a filly! Something about being the first pony to ever raise the sun by herself, right?”

“Truth be told, Twilight, that was just my best guess. You were so curious about it back then that I just had to tell you something. I forgot the actual story quite a long time ago.”

“Wow,” Twilight breathed, looking blankly at the floor. “I can’t imagine ever forgetting the day I got my cutie mark…”

“Me neither,” Applejack said, glancing back at the Crusaders’ table.

Celestia shrugged. “I have lived a very long life, and I have made countless wonderful memories.” She turned to look across the room. Luna greeted passing ponies from the main entryway with a warm smile. Celestia smiled in kind. “Some memories are more important than others.”

Twilight followed Celestia’s gaze. Luna met her stare briefly and nodded. Twilight nodded back and panned her eyes across the room. She stopped when she saw her parents, moving with the lethargic song in each other’s embrace. Her father muttered something, and her mother rolled her eyes over a wry smile. A dull ringing built in Twilight’s ears as she watched.

Her attention shifted sideways to Shining Armor and Cadance, moving in perfect sync with the music’s muffled tones. Cadance had her eyes closed and her head pressed against Shining’s shoulder as she held him close. They passed in front of the setting sun and—for just a split second—Shining Armor appeared as nothing more than a silhouette in Cadance’s hooves. Twilight watched with a small frown.

“Twilight?”

Twilight blinked and turned to see Rarity lifting an eyebrow at her from behind a tripod-mounted camera. “Are you quite alright? I said your name several times just now.”

Twilight shook her head. “Sorry, Rarity. I guess I just spaced out for a second. Did you need something?”

Rarity smiled. “Yes, darling. I asked if you would be so kind as to step out of the frame for a moment.” She gestured over Twilight’s shoulder, and Twilight looked to see Sweetie Belle resting her head against Spike’s shoulder, eyes closed, as they moved in slow circles around each other.

Twilight blinked. “Oh… uh, sure.” She stood and moved a few steps away. She shuffled her hooves and threw a look over her shoulder as Rarity finished preparing the camera. Curtains swayed in front of an open balcony on the far side of the crowd.

“Actually,” Twilight said, “could you all excuse me for a minute? I think I need some fresh air.”

Celestia looked down at her. A soft shine clung to Twilight’s brow, and a frown creased her face. Celestia matched it. “Is everything alright, Twilight?”

“Fine!” Twilight said, whipping around and giving Celestia a brittle smile. “It’s just, uh, getting a little too warm and stuffy in here is all. Can’t sweat too much in this beautiful dress! Right, Rarity?” Before she even got a reply, Twilight quickly scurried off into the crowd.

A bright flash went off behind her, filling the room for but a fraction of a second. She glanced to her right as she moved through the crowd. Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie laughed with each other by the dessert table, and Fluttershy stood next to a brown stallion on the far wall, smiling as she spoke to him. Twilight refocused her attention ahead.

Several nods, greetings, and thank-yous later, Twilight reached the far side of the crowd and stepped out onto the balcony. Immediately she pulled in a deep breath, absorbing the crisp, floral scent of the garden below. A cool breeze moved across her, billowing her mane a bit. She looked forward across the courtyard and caught sight of a tall, thick tree. Bright golden apples hung from its branches, shining in the light of the sunset.

Beyond the tree, Twilight could make out the statue garden. The shadowed forms of stone figures brooded there in stark contrast to the bright chirps of the nearby songbirds. Names for some of the statues jumped from Twilight’s memory, but there were others she couldn’t quite identify.

Twilight looked to her left at the blazing horizon. The landscape sat in her mind’s eye like a vivid oil painting. She looked to the right at the midnight blue sky. Shadows loomed over the world like ancient colossi. She looked up at the purple dome above her, where the sun and moon clashed. Despite herself, she managed a grin and a chuckle.

“Twilight.” Her attention snapped to her side. A brown unicorn with a gray mane and beard stood next to her, smiling up at the sky. He huffed through his nose. “You know, some might call this moment poetic.” He shifted his smile onto Twilight. “Although, I hardly think that’s why you’re out here.”

Twilight blinked. “Uh… I’m sorry. Do I know you?”

The stallion chuckled. “All too well, Princess. Perhaps this will jog your memory.” He blinked, and his eyes came back stark yellow with mismatched red irises.

Twilight flinched. “Discord?”

With a swish of his tail, the stallion flashed bright white and grew into a taller, much more recognizable form. Discord stretched his arms above his head with a groan. “I’ll have to have a chat with Celestia about that disguise,” he said. “I feel much better au naturel. Seriously, I’m not that off-putting, am I?”

Twilight just stared at him, bemused.

“Don’t act so surprised to see me here,” Discord said, rolling his eyes and throwing her a deadpan look. “You didn’t actually think I would miss this, did you?”

Twilight blinked. “Uh… I guess I never really thought about it. To be honest, Discord, I didn’t think you cared about my coronation at all.” She smiled a little. “Thanks for coming. I’m glad to see—”

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself,” Discord said, reclining into the air and admiring the end of his talon nonchalantly. “I’d much rather be spending the evening in my suite—the weather there is very nice this time of year, you know? But even I can’t argue with free dessert!” A fat slice of cake appeared in his talon. His mouth opened wide and he threw the whole piece down his throat. He licked his lips and smiled at Twilight.

She looked back at him blankly.

After a moment in silence, Discord hunched over and sighed. “Alright, and maybe Fluttershy suggested I should be here as a show of good will.” His eyes suddenly widened. “Oh, congratulations, by the way.”

“Uh… thanks?” At that, the air fell dead. Twilight stared at Discord, and Discord stared back with an innocent smile. Over time, though, his smile waned. He rolled his talon through the air, eyeballing her. Twilight scuffed her hoof against the balcony and turned to look over the railing. “Er… nice night, isn’t it?”

Discord appeared in front of her wearing an irritated frown. “Seriously? You’re trying to make small talk with me?”

Twilight stared at him wordlessly.

Discord let off a heavy sigh and pulled his paw across his face. He beckoned her with his talon and said, “Come on. Out with it.”

Twilight blinked. “Out with what?”

“Oh, please. It doesn’t take a psychiatrist to see that you’re upset about something. Can we please just skip to the part where you tell me what it is and I try my best to care?”

Twilight scowled at him. “Not exactly the best way to get someone to talk to you about their problems, Discord.”

He shrugged. “Just being honest.”

Twilight slanted her eyes. “Whatever. Besides, I’m not upset about anything anyway.” She turned from Discord to face the sunset in the distance.

A flash went off behind her. She glanced over her shoulder and turned around fully when she came eye to eye with a shoddy wooden replica of herself as a marionette. She raised an eyebrow at it.

“Look at me!” said the puppet in a scratchy falsetto. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, and I’m so happy to be a pretty pony princess! I’m just gonna spend the most important night of my life alone on a cold balcony. Don’t worry, though. I’m not upset! I just felt like being an introvert for a while!”

Twilight glared upwards at Discord as he pulled the strings and spoke through the corner of his mouth. “I don’t sound like that,” she said, turning back to the sunset. “And even if I was upset, why would you care? You didn’t even want to be here in the first place!”

Another light went off behind her, but she didn’t turn to look. Discord’s voice said, “Just because I’m not perfect yet doesn’t mean I haven’t learned anything from reading those letters of yours, you know.”

Twilight looked over her shoulder. “You’ve been reading my friendship reports?”

Discord nodded. “At Celestia’s request, yes. Although some of them were terribly cheesy. Especially that one with the bit about you and all of your friends looking up at the same rainbow.” A wry grin grabbed his face. “That one even tasted of gorgonzola.”

Twilight’s horn flared to life and she rounded on him, teeth gritted. “You’ve been eating them?!”

Eyes wide, Discord recoiled. “No, of course not! It was just a joke! Your letters are still in one, non-digested piece.” He reached behind him and peeled a piece of parchment from the wall, holding it up to her. “See?”

The glow faded from Twilight’s horn. She groaned and turned away, resting her chin on the railing. “Just go away, Discord! I’m not in the mood for this.”

Allowing the silence to punctuate the moment, Discord eventually shrugged, crumpled the parchment, and threw it off the balcony. “Alright, I tried. If you don’t think your problem is something I can help you with, that’s your business.” He snapped his talons and reverted to the form of a brown stallion. Without another word, he walked back past the curtains into the room beyond.

Silence fell across the balcony again. Twilight looked ahead at the darkening horizon. Black smudges of mountains sat in the distance. She squinted her eyes and just barely made out a twinge of colour rippling through the northern skies. She sighed and let her eyes settle on the courtyard below.

“Good evening, Twilight.”

Twilight pulled her attention back as Celestia stepped up to her side. She offered a tiny smile and said, “Oh, good evening, Prin… uh, Celestia.”

Celestia smiled back at her. “I believe I just saw Discord leaving the balcony. He wasn’t bothering you too much, I hope.”

Twilight shook her head. “No, he was just… well, I’m not actually sure what he was doing. He kept asking if I was upset.” She looked away and mumbled, “As if he actually cared.”

“I know Discord’s still quite rough around the edges, Twilight,” Celestia said, “but don’t discount him so easily. Friendship is not something easily learned, especially for someone who didn’t have a single friend in over a thousand years.”

“I guess,” Twilight said, hanging her head a bit. “Sorry, Princess.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Celestia dropped her smile and turned to stare at the horizon. Twilight followed suit shortly, and they stood together as the wind whistled gently through their ears.

“So,” Celestia said eventually, “are you?”

Twilight turned to Celestia with a raised eyebrow. “Am I what?”

Celestia met her gaze. “Are you upset over something?”

Twilight’s eyes widened to dinner plates. “Oh, no! Of course not, Princess! What could I possibly have to be upset about? This day has been so wonderful. It’s… it’s the most memorable night of my life…” Her words came out as though she had only just realized them.

Celestia smiled. “I’m glad to hear it. You have so much to be proud of tonight, and still so much to look forward to.”

“Yeah,” Twilight said, nodding and smiling a glass smile. “Can’t wait!”

They turned together back to the horizon. “That being said,” Celestia continued, “don’t hesitate to come to me with any problems you may have. You are bound to have many questions, and I am more than willing to answer any of them.”

Twilight blinked. She turned her head to regard the sun one more time as it waved goodbye over the horizon. The orange light caught her eyes, making them shine. “Actually,” she said, looking up to Celestia, “there is something I would like to talk to you about.”

Celestia smiled down at her. “Yes?”

Silence hung between them for a good while, but Celestia’s smile never wavered. Twilight shuffled her hooves and looked at the ground through the corner of her eye. “Uh… what I want to ask you about…”

Twilight looked past Celestia at the rising moon. “Well, can you…” She noticed the faint orange of sunset bathing the balcony around them. “What I mean to say is… am I…” She looked at the silhouetted mountains to the north and the faint auroras dancing across their peaks. She froze there for a minute.

“Twilight?”

She pulled her eyes back to Princess Celestia who was still smiling down at her. “What is it?” she asked.

Twilight blinked once. She pulled her body straight, her wings ruffling against her dress. “Celestia,” she began, “am I…” The next word stopped halfway up her throat. It fell limp and tumbled back into her stomach, solidifying there. She sighed, gave up, and said, “Can I stay here for the night?”

Celestia blinked. “Pardon?”

“Er… well, it’s just been a really exhausting day is all, and the last thing I feel like doing is taking a long train ride back to Ponyville. Heh, so… uh, can my friends and I stay here for the night, maybe?”

It took a moment, but Celestia’s mouth melted back into its small grin. “Of course, Twilight. You and your friends are welcome to stay at the castle as long as you please. It’s partially yours now, anyway.”

Twilight chuckled a little. “Heh, I guess it is, isn’t it?”

“Is that all you had to ask me, Twilight?”

Twilight nodded. “Y-yup! That’s all.”

They held each other’s gaze for a few moments. The night had fallen upon them completely, and the wind was picking up force. Celestia nodded and said, “Very well. Let’s head back inside then, shall we? I believe you have a little dragon to tease about his first slow dance.”

Twilight laughed. Celestia made her way through the curtains again, and Twilight followed closely behind, leaving the balcony in thick silence.

***

“For the last time, Twilight,” Spike said, shoving the door open, “it wasn’t a slow dance! We were just dancing, and it just happened to be slow. That’s all!”

Twilight giggled. “Of course, Spike. Whatever you say.” The smirk never lifted from her face as she strolled past him into the moonlit room beyond.

Spike sighed and turned away from her. “Rarity,” he said, “you believe me, right?” Rarity simply blushed, giggled, and patted his spines as she followed Twilight inside. Spike groaned, but he followed suit without another word.

“Whoa!” Rainbow Dash cried as she soared through the door herself. She gaped up at the night sky through a window which reached to the top of the dome-shaped room. “Is this really where you stayed while you were living in Canterlot, Twi?”

“Only when I was staying at the castle,” Twilight said, stepping up the staircase into the loft. “Most of the time I stayed with my parents, but this was my home away from home.” She smiled fondly at the great golden hourglass which still watched over the courtyard below. Its white sands twinkled like magic as the grains tumbled through. “I do have a lot of good memories here.”

“It’s extravagant, Twilight!” Rarity said, beaming around at the ornate decor that rimmed the room. “I would give up my boutique in a heartbeat for a suite as opulent as this. However could you give it up, Twilight?”

Twilight winced. “I mean, it is nice, but I’m still just as happy with my home in Ponyville.”

“Golly, sugarcube!” Applejack said, staring at the room in awe. “Normally I ain’t much for the fancypants Canterlot decor, but this is plum amazin’! A room fit for a princess, I reckon.” She tipped her hat.

Blinking, Twilight looked at her wings as though just noticing them for the first time. “Yeah,” she said, giving them a bit of a sad look, “I guess—”

“Wowie zowie!” Pinkie Pie said, bouncing into the room. “Look at this place! We can have a whole nother alicorn party in here. Not just an alicorn party, though. An alicorn slumber party! Whaddya say, girls?”

“I think I’ve had more than enough partying for tonight, Pinkie Pie,” Fluttershy said, closing the door behind her. She turned to the group with droopy-dog eyes and a warm smile. “I think I’m just ready to get some sleep. It’s been such a big day already, even though it flew by so quickly.”

Twilight frowned a little. No one seemed to notice.

“Aw, come on, Fluttershy!” Pinkie said, hopping up onto the hourglass. “Live a little! The night is young—it’s not even midnight!”

At that moment, the last speck of silvery sand trickled through the hourglass. The timepiece glowed a faint hue and flipped itself, launching Pinkie across the room and right into Spike. The sands started flowing back through the funnel, clinking tinily against the glass basin.

“Guess that means it is midnight, huh?” Rainbow said, smirking at the lump of pink, purple, and green.

“I’m honestly surprised that enchantment still works,” Twilight said, standing transfixed by the flipped hourglass. “I cast it a pretty long time ago.”

“Shoot, Twi,” Applejack said, slinging a hoof around her friend. “With your magical talent, I wouldn’t be surprised if that thing kept turnin’ forever.”

Twilight blinked.

“P-Pinkie?” Spike said, still trapped beneath her. “Are you gonna get up anytime soon?”

“Nope!” Pinkie said, squeezing her hooves tighter around him. “It was a destiny hug! They last the longest out of any hug I know.”

“Yes, well, destiny hugs aside,” Rarity said, “I must agree with Fluttershy. I believe it’s about time we all turned in for the evening. It has been quite a day.”

“I reckon you’re right,” Applejack said. She gathered up a nearby pillow and moved off towards one of the more comfortable-looking corners of the room. “Good night, y’all.”

“Good night,” the others chorused back, with one “Aw… fine” thrown into the mix.

Twilight made for her old bed—one that hadn’t been touched since she’d left for Ponyville, she assumed. She magicked off her dress and her crown, setting them both aside carefully. She settled a forlorn stare on her crown as it shimmered under the moonlight. An image of the sun flashed through her mind. She sighed and pulled her blankets away, climbing into bed.

“Uh… Twilight?”

“Hm?” Twilight turned to look over her bedside. She found Spike twiddling his thumbs and staring at his feet. “What is it, Spike?”

“Well… uh… there aren’t really any great places left to sleep, and my bed’s back home in Ponyville, so I was kinda hoping… uh…” He went silent and looked up at Twilight sheepishly.

Twilight smiled. She scooted closer to the adjacent wall and said, “Climb in.”

Spike beamed. He scurried into place next to her on the bed. Twilight replaced the blankets over them and turned to face Spike. She giggled. “Just like old times, huh?”

“Yeah,” Spike said over a yawn. His eyelids flickered gently, like candles in the wind. “Just like old times. Good night, Twi.”

“Good night, Spike,” Twilight said. She closed her eyes and savoured Spike’s nearby warmth.

“Oh, and, Twi?”

Her eyes opened halfway. She smiled and said, “Yeah, Spike?”

“Congrats again. I always knew you had what it took… to be a… princess…” And with one last yawn, he was in dreamland.

A frown creased Twilight’s face. She sighed and looked over at the hourglass glistening in the moonlight. She suddenly felt very cold. Very cold indeed.

***

If counting sheep was meant to make you fall asleep, counting grains of sand was liable to kill you.

Seven thousand nine hundred and fourteen grains later, Twilight still watched the hourglass mark the seconds as the night dwindled on. Occasionally she would shuffle herself beneath the blankets, but nothing put her mind at ease.

She twisted her body again, looking up at the moon. It looked back at her just as it did every night—just as it would every night for the rest of her life. It was a fixture. A rock—both literally and figuratively—that ponies could always count on to be there. It was a symbol of strength everlasting.

Much like the sun.

Twilight sniffed as she turned to face the wall. Her mind wandered back through the day’s events. They all blurred together now, with some notable exceptions—her speech on friendship, the group hug with her friends, and the very moment her crown had christened her head all rang out in her memory.

But something else lingered too. It wasn’t so much a fond warmth as a playful itch, desperate to be scratched. It poked and prodded her—it would poke and prod her even if she counted every grain of sand in Equestria.

If you don’t think your problem is something I can help you with…

She stared at the moon one more time, then she broke. She pushed the blankets from her body and awkwardly slid around Spike until she could reach the far bedside. As slowly as she dared, she stood up and trotted over to the doors. She magicked them open and stepped out into the brisk night.

“Princess?”

Twilight jolted and spun her head about. It took her one second to notice the guards standing on either side of the door—it took her three more seconds to realize they were addressing her. “Oh, uh, good evening,” she said.

After a moment, they remembered themselves and bowed to her. To Twilight, the bows felt like a sweater two sizes too large—awkward and warm. The guards rose, and one of them said, “Shouldn’t you be asleep, Princess? We assumed you’d gone to bed hours ago.”

“I couldn’t fall asleep. I had a lot on my mind.” She looked at each of the guards in turn, and then the thought struck her. “Actually… maybe it’s something you two could help me with. You don’t mind, do you?”

The other guard fumbled his tongue and said, “O-of course not, Princess! We live to serve you.” He bowed again.

The first guard glared at him past Twilight. He turned back to her and said, “How may we be of service, Your Highness?”

After just a hair of a moment, Twilight said, “I need you to take me somewhere.”

***

She knocked at the door.

“Come in!”

Twilight pushed the door inward, and her eyes followed a plum as it hovered past. “Twilight Sparkle?” Discord said from his place lounging in a painting of a crescent moon. “What a lovely surprise! Let me guess: you didn’t quite get your daily dose of Discord from our earlier conversation, so now you’re here for more?”

“Uh… something like that,” Twilight said. She slowly stepped onto the grassy carpet and shut the door behind her. “I thought you’d be asleep by now, actually.”

Discord waved his paw and blew a raspberry. “Hardly. I’ve had more than enough time to rest in the past thousand years, thank you very much.” He snapped his talons and appeared next to Twilight, wrapping an arm around her. He grinned and said, “However, I find it far more intriguing that you aren’t asleep, Princess.”

Twilight looked away. “I had something on my mind. That’s… uh… kinda why I’m here, actually.”

“Aha!” Discord shouted, making Twilight flinch away. “I knew something had you upset! And it looks like you’ve finally come to your senses in allowing me to help you.” He snapped his fingers, and suddenly Twilight and Discord were sitting opposite one another in the branches of a purple tree. Discord magicked himself a pair of glasses, a quill, and a notepad and said, “Now, why don’t you tell Discord what has your pretty little mind in such a tizzy?”

Twilight blinked. “Um… well…” Her wings shuffled against her back. “It’s a bit of a heavy subject. I’ll talk to you about it, but only if you promise to take it seriously.”

“Of course, of course,” Discord said, rolling his paw through the air. “Now let’s just get on with it, shall we?”

Twilight grimaced, but she remained sitting. “Well, ever since I spoke with Princess Celestia at the party earlier, I’ve been… wondering about something.” She shuffled her hooves, and Discord raised an eyebrow.

“Discord,” Twilight said, “what is it like to… live forever?”

Discord blinked. After a moment, he let out a strained groan and said, “Ugh, seriously? That’s what this is about? You’re losing sleep over an issue as painfully simple as immortality? How disappointing!”

Twilight scowled. “Fine. Don’t help.” She teleported down from the tree branch and slumped towards the door, shouldering the wayward plum out of her way. “I knew I should’ve just talked to the princesses about this.”

“Hold it right there.” Something grabbed her midsection and wheeled her around. She found herself inches from Discord’s stony face. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t help you, Twilight. And trust me, you’re much better off approaching me about this issue than anyone else. I’ll give you credit for that, at least.”

Twilight lifted an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

Discord smirked. “Never mind that for now. First, allow me to answer your question with another question. Do you actually know whether or not you’re immortal?”

Scuffing a hoof, Twilight looked away.

“Wonderful! Then I can be the first to tell you the good news.” The tree behind them exploded into confetti. Discord spread his arms wide, smiled broadly, and said, “Congratulations, Princess! As of yesterday, you are officially immortal! Welcome to the club. Please enjoy your complimentary lifetime supply of stopwatches.” In a flash, a winged party hat appeared over Twilight’s horn and little golden timepieces started raining around the room.

Even as Discord blew a party popper in her face, Twilight frowned. She closed her eyes and sighed. “So I really am going to live forever…”

Discord’s smile never waned. “Oh, my. You don’t seem particularly excited, Twilight. Could it be that you don’t actually want to live forever?”

“I’m… I’m really not sure. I guess… maybe not, but—”

A bright light flashed around Twilight, making her stumble a bit. A chill coursed through her at the same time. When the spots cleared from her vision, all of the party ornaments had vanished.

“Well, there you go!” Discord said, beaming. “You are no longer immortal. You’re very welcome.”

Twilight’s pupils dilated. “What?!”

“Good choice, if you ask me.” Discord plucked the plum from the air and took a bite of it. “Eternal life can get quite boring, really. All the dust is tiresome, and it adds a lot of needless confusion to the phrase ‘till death do us part.’”

“Discord!” Twilight roared, baring her teeth at him. “How could you—What were you—You can’t just—”

“But what’s the problem now, Princess? You don’t have to live forever anymore. Isn’t that exactly what you wanted?”

“I don’t know!” Twilight shouted. “That’s the whole point of this. I don’t know what to make of immortality. There’s a lot to consider!”

“Oh?” Discord smiled wryly. “Do tell.”

Twilight huffed, slanting her eyes at him. “Well… For instance! Living forever would mean being around for millennia to watch the world evolve and change. And I’d be there to help it evolve. That would be great.”

Discord snapped his talons, flashing a light around Twilight. “Okay, immortal it is.”

“But that’s not the only thing to consider!” Twilight said, glowering. “What if I’m not a good enough leader to help Equestria prosper over such a long span of time? Then maybe I shouldn’t live forever.”

A light flashed.

“Then again, Princess Celestia wouldn’t have made me immortal if she didn’t think I would make a good leader. She’s put a lot of trust in me… I’d hate to let her down…”

Flash.

“But what about my friends? I’d have to live on without them, and I’d never stop missing them. Spike would be around for a long time, and I’d have the other princesses, but it would still be really hard.”

Flash.

“Of course, that’s just another part of leadership, isn’t it? Being an example for everyone else by staying strong through everything? I’d like to be part of that example.”

Flash.

“But I don’t know if I could be as strong as Celestia or Luna—or Cadance.”

Flash.

Twilight glared up at Discord. “Would you stop that already?!”

Discord shrugged. “Just trying to help.”

“Well, you’re not! Don’t you even realize how drastically you’re changing my life with every snap of your stupid talons? You can’t just do that without seriously thinking about it!”

“Oh, but I can, Twilight,” Discord said, leaning back and rapping his fingers against each other. “And there are two reasons why.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Enlighten me.”

“Gladly!” A blackboard appeared next to Discord. Scrawled onto it in plain chalk was a simple equation: 1 = 0. “First, and most importantly,” Discord said, “it doesn’t actually matter whether you’re immortal or not. Never has, never will.”

Twilight blinked. She scowled and lifted the piece of chalk in her magic, scratching a line through the equals sign. “Of course it does!”

“…said the freshly minted alicorn to the thousand-year draconequus.” Discord pulled the plum from behind his ear and took another bite. “Very well, O Wise One. Give me one good reason why it matters whether your life is finite.”

“I just finished telling you—”

“Ah!” Discord pushed a talon into her lips. “I said one reason why it matters, not one way in which immortality is different from mortality. Try again.”

Twilight slanted her eyes and pushed Discord’s arm away. “Because I care. Happy?”

“Hmm…” Discord reclined, and a smaller facsimile of the nearby tree sprouted beneath him, molding to his body. He rolled his tongue around in his mouth, pushing it into each of his cheeks. Eventually he looked back at Twilight and asked, “Tell me: What are you having for breakfast in the morning?”

Twilight screwed up her face. “What does that—”

A menu hovered into Twilight’s vision. “Just answer the question.”

A groan forced itself from her. “Fine,” she said, tossing the menu over her shoulder. “Pancakes.”

Discord snapped his talons. A familiar light shone along with a gentle shiver through Twilight’s body. “You’re now immortal,” Discord said, lobbing the half-eaten plum at her. “What are you going to have for breakfast now?”

Twilight caught the plum in her magic and rocketed it back at him. He caught it without missing a beat. “Still pancakes. What is that supposed to prove?”

“Nothing yet, but you’ll see it soon enough. Let’s get a tad heavier, shall we?”

Lightning flashed, and suddenly Twilight stood in the middle of her home in Ponyville. She recoiled a bit and looked around. Discord was nowhere in sight. She called out, “Discord? What’s—”

“Twilight!”

The door slammed open, and a sobbing Spike ran in from the sun. Some words tried to spill out of his mouth, but the blubbering distorted it all. He threw himself around Twilight, pulling her as close as his little arms could.

Twilight blinked. “Spike! What in Equestria is wrong?!”

“Ev-ev-everythiiing!” Heated sobs and sniffles poured from him, and Twilight’s coat became drenched.

As Twilight reached for the right words or actions, everything fell into monochrome. Spike froze mid-cry, and an ambient hum built in the room.

“Here we have Spike,” Discord’s voice said, and so did its echo. “Poor little creature, he’s just had his heart broken by the one and only Rarity. In truth, everyone saw it coming, not that it matters in this particular moment. How will you console him?”

Twilight’s heart took a nosedive. “I…”

A familiar flash, and a familiar tingle through her veins. “Now that you’re no longer immortal, has the answer you were just about to give changed?”

Her eyes glistened a little. “Discord…”

The world morphed around her. Twilight felt her bones and joints rust and stiffen, and her skin sagged around her. When the scene around her came into focus, she felt extremely tired. Even so, the effect of seeing a tombstone before her—one engraved with three grayscale butterflies—wasn’t dampened in the slightest. Thunder cracked around her.

“And here…” Discord’s voice had fallen quiet. “Here we have Fluttershy, dead one week ago today. The community is still stricken with grief—you and me included. How will you cope?”

Twilight squeezed her eyes shut. “Stop,” came her hoarse voice.

The flash, and the shiver. Her body felt much less ancient. Much more familiar. “Now you’re immortal. Does it matter? She’s still dead, and you still have to cope. It’s only how long that’s changed.”

“I said stop!” The rain stopped pelting her. Twilight opened her eyes and saw Discord staring back at her. His mouth was a straight, etched line. He took another bite of the plum.

“You see, Twilight Sparkle? Your own lifespan didn’t matter in any of those circumstances. Would it have changed the future? Certainly: It would be longer. But in the moment, when has your lifespan ever mattered, hm? It won’t change how you react to daily life. It just adds more days.”

Staring at the floor, Twilight folded her ears back. “I… guess you have a point. But still… I have a lot to think about.”

“Well, that’s your business!” Twilight looked up to see Discord smiling again. His voice was back to its silky beat as he said, “You wanted advice, and I gave it. It isn’t my fault if it wasn’t something as stereotypical as what one of your precious princesses would give. Speaking of which…” Discord raised one eyebrow until it stopped well above his face. “Why didn’t you go to one of them first?”

Twilight shuffled her hooves. “I was afraid they’d be disappointed in me.”

“Whatever for?”

Twilight looked past Discord at the moon and sighed. “They all make being a princess—being immortal—look so… easy! They’re all so strong, and they all have some sort of permanent importance to this world. Celestia has the sun. Luna has the moon. Cadance has the Crystal Empire. I don’t have any examples of my strength in leadership, and I didn’t want to disappoint them by admitting I was afraid.”

“Come on, even I can see how ridiculous all of that is!”

Twilight looked up at him.

Discord took the last bite of his plum, smirking as he did. “Don’t look at me like that. I can’t spell out everything for you, no matter how incredibly wise I am. Consider your lesson quota filled for the day, and contemplate that last thing for yourself.”

Despite herself, Twilight smirked too. She shook her head. “I should’ve expected as much.”

“You really should have.” Discord threw the plum core over his shoulder, and it popped out of existence.

Something clicked in Twilight’s memory, and her eyes shot wide. “Oh, what was the other reason?”

“Hm?”

“Back when I told you that you can’t just change my lifespan like that without thinking about it first. You said there were two reasons that you could. What was the second one?”

“Oh, that?” Discord rolled his eyes. “Easy: It’s because I wasn’t actually affecting your lifespan at all.”

Twilight blinked. “Huh?”

“Truth be told, I actually have no idea whether or not you’re immortal—nor whether that sister-in-law of yours is, either. I was just putting on a light show, trying to prove a point.” Discord lifted his shoulders and smiled. “Even my magic has limits!”

After a moment, Twilight smiled and shook her head. “Still the same old Discord. Nothing’s ever quite what it seems with you, is it?”

“Where would be the fun in that?” He made a shooing motion with his paw. “Off to bed with you, now. You’ve taken up quite enough of my ‘me time,’ thank you very much.”

“Sure thing,” Twilight said, her smile still wry. She turned and trotted to the door. “Good night, Discord.” She paused on the knob, looking quickly over her shoulder. “And thanks.”

“You’ll receive my invoice within the week!” Discord called, plucking a plum from his tree.

The moon moved a little bit, and the sunrise drew ever closer.

Author's Note

Pre-read by R5h. Thanks for the help, pal!