Spike sets foot on his journey
BEWARE! YOU IN FOR A SCARE!
“God damn it spike! Why do you have to be such a dunderhead!” Twilight sad.
“ddaaaah, all i want is to have fun and rule halloween!” Spike cheered drunkish. Then Spike came up with the most fantastic thoughts.
“kill twilight” his thoughts said to himself.
“Great idea thoughts!” and then spike took out an automatic machine gun that shoots chainsaws that have nine millimeter pistols attached to them that shoot lasers that cause cancer, and shot her. “Ha, in 5 years or so you’ll die of a slow and cancer related death!”
“Yeah sure whatever, don’t you have other things to do? Like ta-”
“LIKE TAKE OVER HALLOWEEN!? Well of course! I’ll mosy on over there right now!” then spike walked to halloween. There were changelings and changelings and changelings and changelings everywhere, and they all looked rather threatening. “Man this place need’s to be purified.” that’s when spike took out a mini gun and purified the streets.
“How dare you destroy all my minions!” Snowflake yelled.
“....you're not queen crysalisaliesilosedsjangj….” spike yelled.
“W-What? Aw whatever! Anyway, now that you destroyed my minions you’ll hafta pay!” Then snowflake picked up a load of explosive pumpkins and threw them at spike.
“Time for evasive maneuvers!” then spike’s asshole tore open a dimensional rift that lead to a halloween party that was hip happenin in equestria.
“Oh hell naw.” rainbow dash sad. “this party aint gettin ruined by some dumb ni-uh I mean animal!” then she summoned Hitler and prepared for battle against spike and his army of pumpkins. oh yeah and snowflake had a heart attack or something I really don’t feel like putting any actual reason why he isn’t here suddenly. ANYWAY. Hitler and rainbow dash sent in their army of Russians armed with cannons that shoot fighter jets.
“OH NO YOU AIN’T!” then all the pumpkins grew faces and purple sleeves with hands erecting out.
“WE ARE VERY HUNGRY, GIVE US THE HITLER!” then the hungry pumpkins charged in, eating all the fighter jets that got in the way.
“What are you doing in my kingdom!” said queen crysis 2 who miraculously appeared behind spike.
“Finally you're here! Hurry up and hand over halloween before something else goes wrong!” Spike begged.
“Your first going to have to answer these trivia questions.” queen chris christie said. “Question number one! Who was the first president of the United States of Freedom?”
“Ummmmmm, what’s an United States of Freedom?” Spike answered.
“CORRECT!” then queen colonel sanders exploded into candy. Out of the candy crawled a rather odd and deformed looking thing.
“WHO DARES SUMMON THE GHOST OF HALLOWEEN’S PAST!?” ghost of halloween’s past said.
That’s when everything paused, and when i say everything I mean everything. Then every horse’s asshole quivered with anticipation at once and it became one giant fuck fest. There was shit and candy flying everywhere at once, it was so bad that almost all of equestria was flooded with sweets and sours of all kinds.
“God damn it this day just keeps on getting worse and worse!” spike said.
“Well what do you want me to do about it?” The ghost of halloween’s past said.
“Just give me halloween and i’ll fix this all.” spike said.
“First you have to do me a favor.” The ghost of you know what said.
“Oh great...what do you want me to do?” spike asked.
“Get me my lawnmower, santa borrowed it the other day and he hasn’t given it back yet. That fat fuck always steals my shit.” The ghost of yeah said.
“How am i supposed to get to Santa?” Spike asked.
“Well he’s in the North Pole of course!” the ghost said.
“Where’s the North Pole?” Spike asked.
“It’s through that door over there.” The said. Then a door opened and snow was fluttering through.
“It’s time to split!” then spike jumped through the door and saw a house in the distance. “There it is!” and there it was, santa’s house. “Oh! and there’s the lawnmower!” The lawnmower stood over fifty feet tall, was painted red, and was sitting there turned on. “All right, if i do this fast and sneaky maybe santa won’t notice me.” As Spike sneaked forward he heard a loud rumbling.
“Who dares attempt at stealing my lawnmower!? I use that thing to get rid of this pesky snow!” Santa bellowed.
“....steal? I thought this was The Ghost of Halloween’s past’s lawn mower!” spike said confusingly.
“No way, i paid 80 dollars for this shit, do you REALLY think someone like that spooky ghosty could afford something as badass as this?” Santa said.
“well….true….” then Spike ran back through the door to find a horrible surprise.
“MUHAHAHAHAHA! ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE NOW MINE!” ghost said as he held all of Equestria’s citizens captive in their own shit.
“Look’s like I’ll have to counter your plan with a long speech about something totally irrelevant! Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate -- we can not consecrate -- we can not hallow -- this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.” Spike said.
Then the Ghost dies and Spike got halloween and everyone lived happily ever after...and remember HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!1!!!
