A New Lord of Chaos

by Bookish_Devil

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Main 6
Length: 41184

When the girls succeeded in befriending Discord they made a mistake. Chaos will always be present in any world, and it is better to keep the devil you know.

When the Elements of Harmony managed to convince Discord to use his power for Celestia's definition of good in the Episode: Keep Calm and Flutter On, he is removed from his position as the Lord of Chaos. Now a new lord has been chosen and drawn to Equestria. What happens when a human, a creature of ambition, patience, logic, and boundless cunning is granted Discord's power? Will the Elements prevail? And what would become of their home if they lose?

This story takes place after the events of Equestria Girls.

Please remember to vote. If you do down vote please give valid criticism, thank you.
Currently Revising first several chapters.
Featured 6/6/2014, 6/26/2014, 7/10/2014, 7/24/2014

Published 2013-11-06 04:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-26 05:00:55 UTC

Getting Started

Chapter Two

The first page was blank so you turn to the next. Finding more of the same, you flip through the book finding all of the pages were blank about to through it away you notice on the inside of the back cover is a set of instructions written in gold.

‘So, someone here liked Death Note. Wonder if the book itself has any magical properties?’

As the god of chaos, nothing is beyond your power save a handful of things:
1. Concerning Death
a. You cannot bring the dead back to life unless you killed them. Even then, do not do it often. Death gets very pissy about this.
b. You cannot directly kill another being. Leave them to die in a trap you or they made yes, will them dead or use mundane means, no. You know what I mean you saw that Batman movie with Liam Neeson.

Decorum
a. You cannot under any circumstance tell an outright lie. The use half-truths double or triple negatives or any other means of deception are still possible. Think lawyer or politician.
b. You must keep either the letter or spirit of any agreement you make.

To use your powers.
a. Think what you want.
b. Will it to be.
c. Make a gesture. I snapped my fingers, I have seen others blink; wiggle their nose, and all sorts of other gestures.

Concerning children.
a. Any child you bring into this world by purely physical means and not by your magic will be given a small amount of your power. This power is influenced by whatever power the mother had.

The instructions ended there. Reaching into the bag and draw out the knob as I pull the darkness in the bag seems to come with it. Looking at the object in my hands, I find a beautifully crafted ebony cane with silver fixtures. With a smile, I turned turn to the ruined castle.

“Now this won’t do; Not at all for my seat of power.”

With a swift step forward you slam down the end of the cane with a harsh cracking noise suddenly the castle warps. Turning into a large palace or manor with what appears to be a twenty-story tower rising up in the center. Twenty-foot walls in circling the property with four gates set at the cardinal points.

With a smile, I enter my new home. As I walked in, I was striking my cane and with each step more and more of the house around me was transformed. The plain field stone floor of my entrance hall became highly polished black marble. A thick red carpet rug appeared next running the length of the hall. The walls gained dark stained wood paneling and the ceiling took on a light tan color. Brass lighting fixtures adorned the walls and a large diamond and ruby chandelier hung from the ceiling in the center. Doors appeared at various places along the hall each one had a lighter finish then the walls. Opening the door at the end of the hall, you made yourself a throne room fit for the new lord of chaos. The floors suddenly were made out of the black diamonds you liked but with dark red undertones at the far end of the room against the wall, a dais rose from the floor with three tiers.

I moved to stand at the top of the dais, overlooking the room as a whole. Not satisfied I tap my cane several times and watch the room change around me. The room gained a vaulted ceiling, which could not be easily seen. The walls got more wood paneling but with a finish that fell between cherry and mahogany with this, the room seemed to brighten. Next lighting from the walls sprang several different mythical animals each holding in its paws or teeth a large diamond, which was glowing with an internal radiance. Dozens of large tapestries adorned the walls for now all of them were blank except for the on right next to the door, which depicted me raising this palace from the ruins. No windows adorned the room I might be cocky but I was not stupid, why give someone a way to shot you from a distance or spy on you.

Finally you turn around behind you nothing has changed really sure it matches the rest of the room but it is missing something. Thinking I twirl the cane trough my fingers when it clicks. Slamming the cane down a large solid platinum chaos star appears with one ray touching the top of the dais ending not in a point but an ornate throne with blood red silk upholstery.

I then take my throne tapping my cane lightly down two things appeared next to me. A combination end table slash sword stand and atop that the folders from the bag outside. Setting my cane into the stand, I reach out and take up the top most of the folders labeled Equestria.

Opening the folder, you quickly see why Discord kept using the terms he did. The dominant life forms on this planet were magical horse types. Unicorns, Pegasus, Earth ponies that were regular ponies from back on earth only smart, and Alicorns their ruling class. The information painted a very interesting picture if I was not here myself I would think it was some fantasy setting from a children’s television program.

Flipping through the folders your spot on labeled “The Elements of Harmony” recognizing the name from the letter I quickly opened the folder and began reading. The elements of harmony are ancient magical artifacts, which can only be used in tandem. If even one piece is missing or out of alignment with the user, the elements will not function.

That being said the elements are at their most powerful when all six elements are wielded in a group effort. Their power is exponentially based upon the multiplied total of the parts to the power of the number of users: (x*1) ^1, to (a*b*c*d*e*f) ^6. While a single user will never get a power increase their power will become unblockable and can have varying effects based upon the users will (See Mare in the Moon section 3 Luna file).

As previously stated though if one of the elements is missing or its wielder is not properly aligned with it the power will not function. Please note that the elements cannot be destroyed they can only be changed in form.

“So I just need to get my hands on one piece to render them harmless” I muse out loud “the best way to do that would be to find out where they are and steal at least one. On the other hand, I could kidnap one of the bearers. Hmm why not do both.” I continue reading.

The current bearers are Fluttershy kindness, Pinkamina Dane Pie aka Pinky Pie laughter, Rarity generosity, Rainbow Dash loyalty, Applejack honesty, and Twilight Sparkle magic.

The current location of the elements is the Golden Oaks Library under the stewardship of Princess Twilight Sparkle. Last seen they were in a glass case near the stairs to the second level. ‘Security should be easy to circumvent if it’s a public building’ I ponder.

Next, I pull out the folders with the names of the six girls who could be my downfall. Flipping through the folders I discard four of them immediately because they have roommates.

“Well that leaves the two with only wings. Let us see one leaves in the clouds that could be tricky, but the other tends to large amounts of wild animals which she does not cage inside of her house.” Thinking out loud “Rainbow Dash it is and I’ll bring the tortoise to shut her up. If everything goes well they might not find out she gone until I steal the element.”

Author's Note

I will take suggestions on which element to take. Give me a good reason why that element should be taken and what does he do with it? Turn it into a tie pin, a ring, excreta.

Planing and Setting Up

Chapter 3

It did not take me long to find out were Rainbow Dash lives. I mean there was only one giant cloud house near the small town.

After a week of watching the house and its occupants, I could tell that she stuck to a very random schedule. This was good news for me if she disappeared one day her friends were not likely to notice for some time depending on when I took her. Getting into the house was easy she did not even lock the door even at night.

I had let myself in several times over the last few days. The house was rather nice I had never thought of clouds as anything more than water before I came here. Now I understood why she had made all of her furniture out of them the dam things were comfortable. On my last day in, I found something very helpful it was a flyer for a convention in some place called Clouds-dale. It was set to start at the end of the week, perfect. I could grab her before she left and her friends will think she left for the convention.

With my first move planed, I started focusing on the elements. I let me self into the library one night and examined the case to my surprise it was just a plain glass display case no locks or magic not even a bell or something to let her know the case was opened. What was wrong with some ponies. They had locks but did not use them, and here were their most powerful magical tools with no security around them. Discord must have been incredibly weak or downright insane to not be ruling over this country much less this world. Looking the elements over I just had to pick one I wanted. As tempting, as it was to just expedite my plans and do everything tonight I left for my home to plan. 'Chaos is not just random it is the purest elemental force of change.'

When I arrived home, I decided that my security was far too lax. As out of character as it seemed for my new station my first line of defense was three magic circles of law. Something from a manga I had liked back when I was still on earth Fairy Tale.

Each circle set a condition to those who crossed them first, any which crossed this line save the master and servants of the house would give up their magic.

Second, for my own preferences, only females could cross this line without my permission but no being could leave without it.

Third crossing this line would separate each person to a different part of the castle.

With that started, I moved into the castle itself I pulled every amusing and non-lethal trick I had out of my head mirrored floors with spiked ceilings, infinite halls, doors that lead to the other side of the hall and my final trick the door they each cross after the first trap would turn them all human.

I had noticed something odd when I had made the mirrored floor my features had changed. My skin and gotten paler. My nose now was a bit bigger giving it slightly beaked appearance. The once pointy line of my jaw was now a bit wider and slightly squarer. My formerly brown eyes were now two different colors one bright emerald green the other bright almost sky blue. While my body was just a bit taller going from 6’1”to 6’6”, I had lost all of my excess body fat giving me either a runner build or a swimmer’s physique. I was never sure which was which. Finally, my hair had gone from deep brown to inky black to top it off I had a snow white stripe going through it. The white covered the top head from my widow’s peak straight back pretty close to what Doc Hammer had. Over all I liked the improvements to my appearance.

Now with my security in place I set out to add several rooms to the castle for each of the elements and the princesses should they be defeated or surrender. Finally, I decided to settle in for the night. I entered my bedroom and decided to improve it. I mean I had guests coming soon my whole castle needed to be up to my standards. Tapping my cane several times on the floor I built an office slash small library into my now royal suite. Next, a small hallway leading to a circular room with several doors this was something I rather liked each door lead to somewhere else in the castle but only I could enter this room and some rooms could only be accessed from here. Opening one door to a bare stonewall tapping the cane again a grand bath appeared with several small doors leading to saunas and steam rooms. I made my main tub hot spring fed as I finished this the room started to warm up and steam started filling the room. Closing the door, I mark it with the sign of Aquarius so I could remember which was which.

Thinking that this was a good idea I tap my cane again and each door is marked in a similar fashion. Opening the door to Libra I found another blank wall happy with this I set about making my treasury I create several spring loaded pits that would settle deeper as more coins and gems were added. Finally, against the far wall I make six female busts each with an element written on the bottom. Going back to the other doors, I check some of the other doors Leo lead to my library. Pisces to a hall near both my dining room and kitchen. Scorpio was another blank wall so I made a simple dungeon with several basic cells. Taurus I connected to my throne room, and finally I opened Ares and found my bedchamber focusing on what I wanted a bed large enough to sleep ten. Happy with my nights work I went to bed.

Phase One

The day had finally arrived tonight I will take the element of loyalty from her bed and with luck none of her friends would be the wiser. Tonight I was going to start the ball rolling and see if in the end I could stay on top of it.

I had set up a small field camp on a hill in a tree waiting for her to return to her house. So easy to find a good hiding place when you can shrink down in size. Granted the squirrel I was displacing was none too happy to get the boot. When he wouldn’t leave or shut up, I brainwashed him in to acting as my valet and now he served me in his former home. ‘Who knew a squirrel could brew a decent cup of tea? ’

While I waited, I thought about which element I would steal magic or generosity. I had narrowed it down to down to these two. Magic because it was the center point the element through which the others had their energy focused through taking this would really tweak Twilight’s nose. It might force her to call on the other princesses for back up. Then there was generosity the one that could be easily hidden because of the shape of it. I could wear it in plain sight of the bearers without looking foolish. I mean a diamond shaped cut gemstone was rather common in human jewelry.

The information said that the gem not the gold that held the power, so I was thinking of making one of them into a ring or a tiepin. Maybe take both and make a set of cufflinks. Hoping the sight of me wearing their elements might upset them once they entered my castle. “Oh well I pick when I get there.” I mused.

The sun was setting when Rainbow Dash finally got home just about show time. I had put a lot of thought into how to do this. My plan I thought would be fun if not funny and would make her surrender quickly. 'Well surrender or defenestrate herself.'

Two hours later, all the lights in the house were out. I made my move. I teleported right up to the front door and entered like I owned the place. Silently I walked into her bedroom and quietly opened the door. I found her there sprawled across her bed snoring to beat the band. Tank was just hovering in a corner leash tied around his shell running to the bed post.

Think about what I wanted to do. I decided my cane would not make enough noise on the cloud floor. Moving my cane to my left hand, I snapped my fingers. Black silk and leather bindings snaked around her wings forcing them into an upright and straight position. Binding her wings in such a sudden and tight manner seemed to both wake her up and turn her on a little judging by the throaty purring groan that escaped from her as came to.

“Who’s there?” she asks to the darkness “you have a lot of nerve breaking into my house.”

I just chuckling darkly and say, “There's an old saying: Never raise more demons than you can lie down. Me I am just a devil you and your friends should never have raised.”

“What?” She says with an absolutely puzzled look on her face. She then turns in bed and turns on the lamp. The light pushes back the shadows in the room and barely illuminates me. Her eyes moved up my body from feet to frame to face.

I had taken a page from Mephistopheles himself. My clothes were immaculate and done to the nines.

Black pointed leather shoes with a slight heel lead up to black pinstriped slacks with several black belts crossing my hips holding knives and a pair of swords. A charcoal waistcoat with silver buttons went over a gray shirt, which had no collar it just ended with one button on my throat. A silver chain crossed my coat holding pocket watch to a knife. My hands had five silver rings. Three on my left hand on the thumb, middle, and pinky fingers. My right hand the rings were on my index and ring fingers. Over all this, I wore a black pinstriped tailcoat again with silver buttons and to top it off a black pinstriped wide brimmed fedora with two feathers stuck in the ribbon one black the other white.

“Oh, do you like what you see.” I shoot at her in a snarky tone.

“Who and what are you?” she asks me in a nervous shaky breath.

“Now that is a rather fun question.” I say while rubbing my chin. “What is so much easier than whom? You see one does not tame chaos. It is the oldest and most powerful force in existence. When the solution to one problem is found another one inevitably rises to take its place. Therefore, to answer the second part of your question. I once was human now; I am your dear retired lord Discord’s replacement. As for whom I haven’t decided yet my old name just does not seem to fit me anymore.”

This statement seems to have caught her flat footed so to speak. She started taking several deep breaths trying to wrap her head around this information.

I spoke into the silence “would you be so kind as to surrender?”

This question seemed to just make her angry. Her eyes hardened and took on a steely gaze. “Why would I surrender to you?” she spat at me with venom.

I just smiled and said, “You cannot get your wings unbound, therefore you cannot leave your home. Well not without a rather terminal and short last flight. I will guaranty you and your tortoise safety if you like.”

These facts seemed to hit her over the head she looks at her pet with wide eyes before turning back to me the steel that was in her eyes seemed to have broken now she seems nothing short of detached. With a look into my face she begins nodding despondently.

With her defeat I smile and then gesture for them to stand beside me.

Tears in her eyes she says “come here tank.” She unties the leash from her bedpost and puts her tortoise on her back and she starts slowly and dejectedly walking to my side.

I look down at her and smile saying “Chin up the game has only just begun.”

Before she can reply, I slam the cane down and all three of us vanish in a flash of light.

Killing Time

Killing Time

We flash into existence before one of the four massive gates to my palace grounds. Tapping my cane gently upon the road, the gate in front of us lowers into the earth.

Turning to Rainbow Dash I say “ladies and reptiles first”

She then crosses the three lines going into my fortress.

I work a little magic and influence where she appears. I then tap my cane and join her in her chambers.

Her room was simple a four poster bed, a fire place with two arm chairs, a wall of book shelves which I had filled with books she should enjoy based upon her profile.

“Close but not quite there” I muse. “Of course” I tap my cane of the ground she flinches at this but relaxes when a small antechamber is formed.

I then lift Tank off her back.

“What are you doing with him?” she yells at me.

With a smile, I point to the new antechamber and walk over to it and set Tank down on the other side of the small gate. To sooth, any worries my prisoner might now have I tell her. “He is a tortoise and here is his terrarium.”

She then looks over the small gate and sees the new environment I had set her pet into. The ground was covered in short grass except for one corner, which was a small pond. The far wall had a hallow log set against it and a food dish full of lettuce and fruit was set in the middle of it all.

“Um thank you,” she mutters.

Turning to her, I snapped my fingers. The bindings on her wings disappeared. “I must warn you now stay in this room till I come get you. This room is yours as long as you behave. I would rather my dungeon stay empty for now.”

Looking at the bed, she tries to fly to it with her freshly freed wings. With several quick flaps, she goes no ware. With a shudder, she turns to you and asks, “Why don’t my wings work?”

I shrug and state, “To enter my home as anything but my servant is to willingly forsake your magic. When either I choose to let you leave or if you decide to devote yourself to me, it will return. Now then the morning meal is in eight hours I suggest you get some sleep.”

She nods and I turn and walk out of the room. The hall I enter has seven other doors and an opening leading toward my kitchen and dining room. I turn and walk to the other end of the hall. At what appears to be a blank wall I press my hand and a door so well hidden, you cannot see the seams swings in. Crossing the thresh hold, I close the door noticing the mark on it is Virgo. I then turn to the door marked with the symbol for Sagittarius and make a security room. In this room, a wall of colored crystals show the state of your security spells everything is in the green. Another wall has a bank of monitors all show no activity save Rainbow Dash’s room where I see what appears to be her crying herself to sleep. Happy with this set up I walk out and enter my private baths.

Soaking in the main pool, I ponder one of the questions she asked me tonight. “Who am I?” I ask myself. “I am no longer D#%&* the average human. As the personification of chaos I need a name that is both a concept and an identity.” Think several ideas run through my mind old names of chaotic gods from earth Loki, Khaos, Seth, and Apophis all flashed through my mind but none seemed to fit. “Chaos, madness, anarchy. Discord does sound perfect but that was the person before me.”

Thinking of names with a D, my mind flashed to Neil Gaiman’s Sandman comics. Seven siblings each identified with a name that describes their role in existence. Destiny, Death, Dream, Destruction, Desire, Despair, and. “That’s it I am Delirium.”

With my new name chosen, I felt complete again. I felt as though my magic seemed to be getting stronger. As if renaming myself further aligned my body, mind, and soul with my new role. Getting up and drying off I went to bed.

The next morning I woke up and decided to toy with Rainbow Dash a bit. I entered the hall her room was in through the passage she would take and set a spell line. When she crossed it, she would become human. With a smile, I walk up to her door. Musing I set a nameplate and a crystal copy of her cutie mark on the door. I briskly knocked on the door and waited. Nothing. I knock again. Still nothing. I go through this three more time. Annoyed I enter the room. There she is still sleeping. I throw the covers off her still no reaction. Tapping the cane on the ground a large tub of water appears. Think about how mad she has made me I tap the cane again and Ice appears in the tub.

“Rainbow Dash this is your last chance to wake up before I toss you in to the tub.” Still nothing but a snore. I reach down and with less effort then I thought it would take I lift her up by a leg. How strong was I now? She looks like she should weigh at least a hundred pounds. “A question for another time” I say as I drop her in the tub.

With a coughing yelp, she jumps out of the tub. She then turns to me and gives me a dirty look. “What was that for?” she yells at me.

“I think after seven times to try and wake you up politely you earned your little morning dip.” I reply evenly. “Now do you want breakfast or not?” I ask while turning to stride out the door.

Reluctantly she followed me out the door her stomach seeming to outweigh her pride. She and I walked down the hall I crossed the spell line first and a thought popped into my head. She is not wearing one stitch of clothing. A smirk appeared on my face as I thought free show.

She stepped across the line. At first, I thought I had screwed up the spell but then the last of her tail crossed to line. Suddenly there is a very lithe looking young woman on her hands and knees with rainbow colored hair long enough to stop at about even with hips if she were upright. On her right hand is her cutie mark. Interestingly enough her wings were still there only larger each one now looked to be about seven or eight feet long. The colors had changed as well going from a deep cyan at the top to and all most robin’s egg blue at the tips.

Her mouth was open in shock; she had a nice set of straight pearly white teeth. The only real difference in our dental work is that her canines and premolars seemed to come to a much smoother point. While mine even before my transformation always looked sharp and in my opinion mildly serrated.

“Lovely” the word escaped my mouth before I could stop it. I offered her a hand to stand up.

My actions seemed to snap her out of whatever daze she had been in after she triggered the spell. She jerked back and ended up sitting up and back rather heavily giving me a good look at what had been hidden in her previous posture. She had a runner's figure all lean muscle with just a hint of toned perfection showing through. Her breasts were either large A-cups or small B’s and perky.

As my eyes drank in the changes running from head to toe a small part of me noted ‘huh the carpet matches the drapes’.
She stopped looking at herself and caught me appraising her body. A deep red blush covered her face and then her wings snapped forward and covered her body.

With a laugh at her reaction and understanding, I tap my cane on the floor. A brief flash of light later and she is wearing running shorts, a tee shirt, and a pair of sneakers. “Better my dear?” I ask. Extending my hand again.

She glares daggers at me and tries to get up on her own. She gets to her feet and attempts to take a step past me. She over balances as she falls back I step up a catch her like it is a trust fall.

Standing her back up I offer her my arm. She grudgingly takes it. Together you walk to the dining room. Upon reaching the table, I draw out a chair for her. Huffing she stubbornly and wobbly shuffles to the other side of the table and seats herself opposite the seat I had offered.

“Well now that was just rude. I thought you might enjoy a polite meal with me.”

She just gave me a very flat look.

“Oh, you’re mad about the turning you human thing? Well after what I read about Twilight’s little adventure, and how you wanted to go there, I thought you might enjoy trying out the same form as me. That and now you can use all the amenities of my humble abode.”

My comments seemed to weaken her anger, but at the same time, I could see the questions in her eyes about my comments.

She kept giving me a questioningly defiant look; right up until her stomach let out a rather loud protest.

“Ah, yes of course breakfast. What can I get you my little Iris?”

She gave me an accusing look and shot back “Iris?”

“Iris, the goddess of the rainbow. She who travels with the speed of wind from one end of the world to the other, and into the depths of the sea and the underworld.”

This statement seemed to take her back. A small blush spread across her face.

“I thought the epithet fit you rather nicely.” I tapped my cane on the floor. Her outfit changed now she was wearing a bright white sundress, sandals, a prism necklace, and her hair would have done Rarity proud. “Though I guess not in what you were wearing.”

She stood up in shock and caught part of her refection in a mirror near we came in. “This is what you did to me?”

“Yes, though I was surprised you kept the wings. Now if you would answer my question, breakfast?”

She ignores me completely focusing on the mirror. Turning so that she can see all she can of her new body.

“Fine I’ll start without you.” One tap of the cane later and I had a meal I did not let myself have often when I was still just human, a five-egg three-cheese farmer's omelet with sausage gravy on the side. “Oh yes before I forget I have an answer to your question.”

This seemed to finally draw her attention back to the table. With a quick look to the side, she asked, “So you will let me go?”

I broke out laughing. “No, that was not a question you even asked last night. Nice try however.”

The look on her face at this was priceless. “What do you mean I never asked to be let go?”

With a bored look, I cause a screen to appear behind me. I turn to look at it and with a tap of my cane, the events of the past night from my perspective stream from my eyes and onto the screen.

(ONE RECAP LATER)

“Like I said you never asked to be released.” I turned back to face her and blinked causing the lights in my eyes to stop projecting.

She looks at me with an odd disturbed look on her face. Like she had never seen anything like what I had just seen and mad at herself for not asking the obvious question.

“Then what is this answer you have for me?”

“Of course, I finally settled on a name. My dear please call me Delirium.”

She tilted her head at me and asked in a questioning tone “Delirium?”

“Yes, Delirium; a state of uncontrolled excitement or emotion synonymous with fever, ecstasy, confusion, and frenzy. I aim to embody and inspire this state.” As I spoke these words, my voice grew louder and stronger. “This world will belong to chaos again.”

She shrank back at my sudden tirade.

I yawned. “But enough of that sit.” She shuffled back to the table still disturbed by my outburst. “Good now what would you like to eat?”

She was about to speak when I cut her off.

“Sorry, thought you should know a human body comes with some dietary restrictions. You can no longer eat grasses, flowers, or raw grains.”

“Fine, just give me whatever you’re having.”

“One farmer’s omelet for the lady, coming right up.” For shits and giggles, I literally made it rise up from the surface of the table.

To her credit, this little stunt didn’t even faze her, and she managed the silver ware better than I thought a former quadruped could.

She was digging in to the omelet with a disregard eating rather quickly.

As she was eating, I realized something so monumentally simple. I had just given not just one type of meat but two to a former herbivore. ‘Let’s see how long it takes her to question what she is eating’.

I finish what was left on my plate and start watching her. She was eating faster than I had she was nearly done. Still nothing.

With her final bite, she asks “So what now?”

‘Didn’t even ask what she just ate. Hmm. Let’s see how long I can feed the pony meat before she notices.’

“Now I tell you how things are going to be while you are in my home. Follow me.” Getting up from the chair, I walked out of the dining hall.

She got up from the table walking towards me trying to catch-up. With each step, she seemed to find her balance easier walking with more confidence as we went on.

“You are not to leave the areas of the estate that I will be showing you. Some are trapped others are my private chambers for anyone but me these are one-way doors. Am I being clear enough?”

She nods

“Good. Now down that hall is the kitchen, can you cook?”

She mutters something under her breath.

“On more time?”

“Better than the cutie mark crusaders.”

“Ah yes Rarity and Applejack’s little sisters. I remember something about burnt juice.” I rub my chin thinking. “Did anyone see how they managed that?”

“Anyone? Don’t you mean Anypony?”

This just irked me. “How can you ponies be such species supremacists? I mean you preach love and tolerance and just casually insult every other group on the planet. Poor Spike is going to get beaten half to death when he meets other dragons.”

This one statement seemed to hit her over the head. ‘Her file said that she had a Griffin for a friend for years and she only now realized how offensive the pro-nouns the ponies use are?’

I started walking again; she did not even seem to notice.

With a sigh, I call out “the kitchen will be open to you as long as you do not burn it down now come along.”

She shook herself and saw I was starting down another hall and took a couple of quick steps to catch up with me.

I lead her down the hall telling her not to go down certain halls. As we passed them, I conjured some old school red velvet ropes to mark areas she should stay away from.

This went on for several hours walking the paths she could take about my castle.

“Now remember stay in the areas I told you about if I find you in an area bared from you, you will get a strike. I will give you three strikes and then you are in the dungeon until after my little debate with Celestia and Luna. Is that clear?”

“Debate?” she quipped.

“Yes the two of them seem to be under the impression that chaos is evil. I expect either them or your friends to be arriving with in the week. You will have a front row seat to the show.” I told her with a rather smug expression.

“What the hay! Is this some sort of game to you?”

I broke out laughing. “ Why yes it is. I intend to play my games and claim my prizes. This world and maybe Luna. Why do you want to toss your hat into the ring?”

She shook her head at me in the negative.

Tapping my chin with a finger, I remembered something from her profile.

‘Rainbow Dash is highly competitive and very easily goaded into taking action if it is put forward as a challenge. If I play the cards out just right I could get her to bet just about anything.’

“Well if not that game how about something between the two of us?” I kept us moving in the direction of my game room.

This seemed to get her attention her wings twitching slightly.

She asked me “how can you think I would even trust you?”

I give her a small innocent smile. “Simple you name the terms of the bet. I pick a game, as long as both sides of the bet are even; and finally you can pass on to a different game until we start.”

She seemed to think about what I said for a minute before slowly saying. “So I just need to find a bet you will agree too and then you have to pick a game that I will agree too?”

With a flat look in her direction, “Are you asking or telling me you understand?”

This statement seemed to make her mad. “Are you calling me scared?”

‘Good take the bait’ “And what if I am?”

She gave me a very pissed of look.

Opening the door in front of me to reveal my game room, I ask. “This is the final room on the tour the game room. So what are your terms?”

Her jaw dropped when she saw what was through the door.

We were standing on the top tier of a multistory room. Each step down to the final level had a glass wall sectioning off the next area down four times ending in large swimming pool.

“Now, let’s give you the basics the first level contains a combination pool hall slash Vegas style table games with open bar. The second floor is electronic gaming along with traditional tabletop games and my small theater. Third has a standard gym with closed off rooms for squash and jai alai. The final level is my pride a full sized Olympic lap pool with combination diving well and water slide along with a hot tube built for twenty.”

As I listed off what this wing of my new home, her jaw just kept lowering. In the end, she just stood there with her mouth open.

I sigh, then say the first thing that crossed my mind. “You know if you keep your mouth open like that; I might just put something in there.”

The joke seemed to go right over her head. ‘Either ponies don’t have sex for fun or she’s a virgin… oh that could be fun.’

Wagers Made

Author's Note

Yeah, not gonna lie this one is a little fillerish. Got to get my set-up in some were.

Wagers Made

“So, what is it you want? What boon are you willing to try and gamble for?” I ask her as I lead my way to a poker table.

She thinks about it for a minute. “I can ask for anything right?”

I smile at her and nod. “Just remember a real wager has to be even on both sides. You want freedom I want servitude. Service for service, information for information, and good for good; or we can be completely mundane and we can play for money.”

She thinks about this for a minute.

I walk over to the bar and pour myself a beer. ‘Got to love the instant gratification of this magic’ I think taking a pull on the beer. ‘Dam it has been a while sense I had a glass of Stella’ I check my watch 12:34, turning to Rainbow “How about some lunch while you decide?”

Her head comes up and she looks at me not sure what I asked her.

“Lunch, do you want anything?”

“A salad.” She grumbles.

‘Know how to give her meat without her noticing? Can’t put any type of meat in the salad itself. Hmm… Caesar dressing. The real stuff with ground anchovies and raw egg in the dressing.’

“Sounds good I think I’ll have one myself.” I walk over to a poker table tapping my cane the tabletop changes hard wood replacing felt. Next, I covered it with a white tablecloth.

Turning back to Dash I ask, “Care to pick some songs on the jukebox for lunch.” Pointing to what looked like a normal Wurlitzer.

“Fine.” She huffed at me.

As she walked over to the jukebox, I could not help but admire the piece of furniture. It looked like an old 1015, with the hard wood panels and the lead glass arch in the front, in reality it would randomly generate a playlist of human music based on who was in the room. With only two of us in the room, my guess is that most of the selections would be rock.

---Quick perspective jump---

From her perspective, Rainbow Dash’s day had been horrible. Dunked into ice water to wake her up. Changed into whatever sort of beast a human was; ‘glad I got to keep my wings, when Twilight went to the other side of the mirror she said she lost her horn and wings.’ Now to top it all off this guy Delirium was being overly nice to her.

‘Pick some songs on a jukebox easy enough. What is with these bands: Cake, AC DC, Daft Punk, the Fratellis… must be human music.’ Not knowing anything about the choices, I just hit the random button a few times and walked back to the table.

---- And were back----
While Dash had been picking the music I had set the table while not as fancy as I could have made it the setup would not have been out of place at an Olive Garden. Salad fork and regular fork on a cloth napkin, a plate, and two types of knives. On the table, a large wood bowel held enough salad for two next to this a small bowel of extra Parmesan cheese, and a boat filled with more dressing. To top it off a basket of fresh garlic bread sticks.

Rainbow just looked at what was on the table like it wasn’t even there. ‘Should of taken Rarity at least then I might get some manners at least at the table; or some forced polite conversation.’

Another silent meal in which she just shovels down everything in front of her, ‘at this rate I could just put a steak in front of her and she would just eat it.’

The music started up O.A.R- Crazy Game of Poker.

I try to get her talking again. “So have you thought about what you will wager?”

Her eyes seem to have some fire in them when she asks “I can ask for anything right?”

I just smile and nod my head.

“Then I want to hear what games you think you can beat me in?”

“Choosing your bet based on the game, fair enough. I was thinking some card games.”

“What like old mare?”

“No more like poker, twenty-one or euchre.”

“What’s euchre?”

“A game that was supposedly invented in my former home region, it’s called one of the fastest card games you can play.”

“Fast huh I like that what are the rules?”

“One thing before I tell you. This game needs four players so I will let you pick anyone you want in to play on your team.”

“What the hay! You expect me to just let your bring another pony here to be you hostage?”

“Well, yes and no. I said you can pick anyone to be your partner for the game including yourself. I believe you are familiar with the mirror pool, or you could pick a friend, a hero, or maybe one of the princesses.”

She seemed to ponder this.

One more push. “I will give you a little bonus while I am at it 2:1 odds. They can ask for something while I can only collect from you.”

“Done. I want to know what your plans are.”

“Very well so we are playing for information. Who do you choose to play with you?”

“You first.”

“Fair enough.” I tap my cane on the ground and lunch is gone. The poker table is back to felt with a deck of cards in the center and standing next to me is me. “So who do you want?”

Her hand goes to her mouth as she rubs her chin thinking. This goes on for a minute before she starts smiling. “I want Princess Celestia.”

What little smile was on my face went away. ‘Okay, this could either be really good or bad.’ “A deal is a deal, well played. This will take a minute.”

She sat there watching me as I rose from my seat and walked over to the bar.

‘How to do this?’ I reach into my breast pocket and pull out the guide to my powers. ‘If I take her now and don’t release her in a timely manner Luna will come looking.’ Flipping to the back cover, I notice that the rules do not really limit me in what I can do. ‘So do I want to Doc Brown this? … Nah I got a little Captain in me.’

I slam my cane on the ground and in a flash of light, my outfit changes. Now I am wearing a grey-blue RAF greatcoat, ankle-length, with brass buttons and a belt. Black WWII RAF officer’s sheepskin flying boots. Dark gray slacks with a worn brown belt complete with holster. Grey braces over a navy blue shirt with the collar of a white undershirt poking out.

I look myself over. ‘Almost still needs a little something.’ Looking down I realize what. Taking my cane in my right hand, I strike my left wrist with it. The wood wraps around my forearm leaving me holding the handle. Before the wood finishes forming around my arm, I stick the handle into the holster and draw it back out. Now in my right hand is a Webley Mk. IV, .38/200 caliber Revolver and on my left wrist is a time agent’s vortex manipulator.

I look over at Rainbow Dash “Be right back.”

She just stares at me not getting the joke at all.

I hit a button and jump forward in time and space. Into a broom closet containing only a mop. “Dam no fez. Why is there never a fez? Oh well, dressed as Jack not the Eleventh Doctor.” I turn around and check to see that the coast is clear. No one was in the hall.

Stepping out I listen for a minute I hear some rather up beat chamber music. ‘It’s coming from upstairs.’ I start walking down the hall to a stair well and head up.

Worthy of a Bored Ian Fleming

As I climb the stairs, the music gets louder and the sound of quite hushed conversation starts to filter down to me. The noises keep growing as I go up two flights to a landing. The hall I entered is half hidden by some large curtains looking into the hall I see a banner “Welcome to the Grand Galloping Gala”. ‘Ponies must love alliteration. The Devilishly Debonair Delirium does dare dream of Politely Pilfering Pony Princesses. Dam it now they have me doing it. ’

I watch the crowds through my little gap in the drapes. In front of me, it seems the party is building up with groups of ponies coming. Checking the vortex manipulator, ‘dam this turned out nice looks just like it did on the show.’

I saw that I had shoot forward by about two days give or take seven hours. This gives me some options: do I wait for the crowds to leave at the end of the party? Do I make a scene start the games now?

‘Pros vs. Cons time.
Waiting
1. No chance of interference
a. Celestia will start the games when I return her.
b. No chance of a tagalong jumping in to the mix
c. ’

“Screw it.” I say with a sigh.

Stepping forward I throw the curtains open and stride straight down the hall. The whole gala seems to freeze as ponies notice me. With the sudden silence in this room, the music in the background seems to grow louder. The song sounds hauntingly familiar but I can’t place it.

Looking around I notice an earth pony waiter with their back turned with a tray of drinks. I stride up behind them and ask, “Got vodka on that tray?”

They turn around and I see it’s a mare “Why yes siiiiiirrrr….” Her voice trails off as she it scared by my appearance.

The look on her face priceless “So that vodka?”

She stutters “The low ball glass sir.”

I take one. I reach into a pocket, and drop several coins on to her tray. Looking down she got a penny, a nickel, and a quarter. “Have a good night.”

As soon as step past her, I hear her run away. ‘Skittish lot aren’t they.’ I take a pull on the drink. ‘Basil and lime gimlet. Not bad. Whoever is behind the bar knows what they’re doing and the vodka is definitely top shelf. Forget Celestia if it’s a chick tending bar I’ll take her.’

I hear a commotion behind me and several flashes of gold reflect off my glass. ‘Guards and I still don’t see… ah there she is.’ At the far end of the hall on a landing of the great staircase is Celestia. She looks in my direction a look of shock crossing her face. Not even two seconds later, I see the guard in my peripheral vision. ‘Trying to surround me now that’s not nice.’

I tap foot and appear right next to Celestia. “Now that was just rude they act like I stole the drink.”

She flinches at my sudden appearance of light and the sound next to her. She slowly turns to face me this time the flinch is more subdued ‘I guess years of politics has some advantages.’ She looks me up and down moving only her eyes taking in everything that to her was a rather odd being.

“Discord I thought I told you not to come the gala.” She says in a tone that if anyone overheard would sound perfectly polite. It’s her eyes that give it away to me annoyance, wavering patience, and frayed nerves.

I give her a warm smile not a smirk; but the kind of look you would give child who just said something profoundly stupid.

“What?” she asks me confused by my reaction to her statement.

“I must say that is a lovely ensemble your wearing tonight.”

The compliment seems to catch her flat footed. “Thank you. That…” She trails off for a second returning with “is a lovely coat I don’t think I have ever seen one like it.”

Too perfect, I have to. “Then why don’t the three of us have dinner sometime?”

She tilts her head “The three of us?”

I lean in and as sensually as I can I say. “Yeah. You, me, and the coat.” ‘Perfect… well if I was really trying to use this scene I should have groped her ass and walked away but… still fun.’

She blushed a little bit but quickly came under control again. All most hotly, she snapped at me. “Discord flirt all you want that does not change the fact that you were told not to come out of your chambers tonight. We went over this several times Luna and I….”

I held up a hand. “Now I hate to stop you when you seem to be gaining momentum but I am not my predecessor.”

This information really hit her over the head. Her mouth opens and closes a few times but no sound comes out.

The guard is finally closing back in around us. Time to speed this up.

“Now that I have your undivided attention. It’s time for us to leave.” I throw an arm around her neck and hit the button on my wrist sending us back.

--------------Royal Guard Captain---------------

“What do you mean he just disappeared with the Princess!”

“Sir, we have at least seventy five witnesses aside from the guard. All of them agree there was no magical disturbance. Just some static discharge in the air and a noise. Then just some smoke where they were standing and a glass.”

“A noise. What kind of noise?”

“Sir, the guard nearest to them described it as a…”

“Spit it out soldier!”

“Described it as a crackling woof. Sir.”

-----Delirium-----

We flash back into my game room. Rainbow Dash squeaking out a yelp, falls out of her chair, and ends up with her dress around her stomach. ‘Oops forgot to give her any panties.’

Turning away after getting an eye full. I look down and see from the read out that it has been less than five minutes sense my initial departure. “One princess as promised Ms. Dash. I will give you a minute to explain to her what’s going on.” I start to walk over to the bar I lost my drink in transit. Suddenly I turn back to them and say.

“Oh, one thing do not try and leave my home Celestia. We do not need you causing a temporal paradox and I would rather not find out what theory is right about the outcome. Sorry, where are my manners did either of you want a drink? ”

As I walked over to the bar, I hear some swift whispers come from the two of them. Looking at the wall behind the bar, I try to decide on a new cocktail. ‘I never was one to mix alcohols so more vodka it is.’

As I pull down the bottles, I needed. I realized that while I could just conjure my drinks, I had always enjoyed mixing drinks. I take down a low-ball glass and fill it half full of ice. Pouring some kettle one over the ice. I then squeeze a lime wedge into the glass and drop it in. finally I top the glass off with some tonic water. Before I leave the bar, I reach under the counter and grab the remote for the music. Looking up I see their conversation is still going on and walk to the jukebox and browse the lists.

With three people in the room, the playlist is giving me more choices but using the remote I enter in what I want. As I walk back to the table, ‘The Boy in The Bubble’ starts playing. ‘Got to love Graceland great album’.

As I approach the table, their conversation ends. Sitting down I take a drink then ask. “Celestia I believe Rainbow Dash here has brought you up to speed. Any questions before we get started?”

“What did you mean cause a temporal paradox?” Celestia asks a small frown on her face.

I smile. “Good an honest question very refreshing. From your perspective, I have pulled you not only into my home but roughly two to three days into the past. Do you understand the implications of non-magical time travel?”

A frown grows on her face. “By bringing me here without a magical tether at the starting point technically two of me exist within the world.” With that statement, her frown grows.

At this point Rainbow has to get her two cents in. “What’s the big deal Twilight has gone back in time and spoken to herself before?”

I face palm and then look at Celestia. “Would you care to field this one? It’s obvious to me you understand the ramifications your actions could entail.”

She nods at me. “Rainbow Dash when Twilight used that spell she briefly sent herself back for a few seconds. That spell creates a magical tether anchoring her to the time and place she left using the spell. There is a very good reason why any temporal magic is kept locked up and is extremely hard to cast. One of the basic rules of time manipulation is not to cross your own time stream to do so causes paradoxes. Twilight’s actions caused a small paradox of the least dangerous variety; Twilight invoked a self-fulfilling prophecy. Once invoked she had to reach the point at which it all both started and ended. You see Rainbow time travel must always come full circle or very bad things are expected to happen.”

She looked at Celestia and asked. “Still what is the big deal?”

I sighed and spoke up “Without the magical tether to protect her if the princess here managed to escape my humble home and ran into herself the universe could end.”

Well this fact just hit her over the head. She looks at Celestia who just sadly nods confirming the truth of my statement. I tapped the nail to start it and she with a nod just drove it home. Rainbow Dash seemed to realize that I had turned whatever plan she had on its head.

“So ladies we’re all here. The terms have been agreed upon; are we going to play cards or what?” The opening riff from Skillet’s Monster rings out as I finish asking my question.

Celestia give Rainbow Dash an even look. ‘Oops looks like they never got to this point in the conversation.’

“Cards?” Celestia asks.

“Yes, Miss Dash decided to play me for information. Euchre is the game; it is an easy enough game to teach unless, do you know this game Princess?”

She shakes her head in the negative.

“Ms. Dash here agreed to the game and I agreed to the terms of her wager. I was even kind enough to let her pick her partner.” I turn to look Rainbow in the eyes. “Where did my partner wander off to?”

Celestia’s head turned slightly to the side looking over my shoulder. I could hear footsteps now. Turning around I could only smile at my double.

“What? You got a costume change I thought this was fair.” He was dressed as the Doctor.

“So you opted for Ten over Nine or Eleven?”

“Whatever Captain. Let’s get this started. So rules an open hand and then we start for real?”

“Just like how we learned.” I tell him with a nod.

He takes off his coat and hangs it over the back of his chair before sitting down opposite me. We both gesture to the others to join us sitting across from each other. Once they’re seated I sit down, grab the deck, and begin separating the cards. Each of them gives me odd look as throw all the cards under an eight into a pile setting aside the fives.

As I keep sorting, I start outlining the rules. “This is a trick taking game with each side attempting to take a minimum of three tricks. Each round a different suit can be made trump. The suit called as trump becomes the top suit beating anything else. Now here is where things get tricky.”

My double clears the table putting the other cards into a pile and setting it off to the side. I begin dealing out an entire suit. I order the cards ace to nine as my double takes over talking.

He began. “Any suit that is not trump the order of value in the cards goes down from the ace.” He nods at me and I cut another jack into the mix. “the value of the cards gets reordered when it is called trump with the jack of that suit becoming the top valued card followed by the jack of the same color. In this setup spades is trump and the jack of clubs becomes the second most valued card. Are each of you getting this.”

They nod. We both give them a smile.

“To make this fair we will play a game best of 5 rounds. Normally a game is played one round either two deals a person or first to ten points. Scoring goes as follows, three tricks after calling the suit get one point take all five and get two. Call the hand alone; play without your partner and take all five that gets you four points. If you fail to get at least three tricks after calling trump you get euchred and the other team gets two points. The other team also gets two points if you play off suit when you could follow. Easy right?”

Again, they nod.

I start speaking again. “The first hand we will play open we can see all the cards on the table. Watch how I deal.” I proceed to deal out the cards face up in groups of threes and twos. When we each had five cards I took the last four cards and turned the top one over a ten of clubs no good for my mostly red hand. Good for Celestia, crap for my partner, and dash was set for spades.

“Left of the dealer gets opening bid. Celestia do you want me to add this card to my hand and make clubs the high suit?”

She looks at her cards. She had the right, ace, king, and nine of clubs with an off ace diamonds. She nods.

“Then tell me to pick it up.” I say.

“Pick it up.” She says. I take the card and discard my nine of diamonds.

“Make the first move.” I tell her.

Celestia uses a wing to push her ace into the middle. She understands already interesting my clone follows suit and Dash throws down the left. Not a bad move when playing with open hands but a terrible move any other time. Neither my clone or I say anything and Celestia just frowns. I play off suit.

“Dash takes the trick her lead.” This seems to surprise her but she tries to hide it. ‘She forgot about the jacks.’

She plays a card and the game starts back up.

Celestia and Dash win the first round with four tricks to one.

“Let’s get things rolling.” My clone gives me a look and we start playing.

The first game goes quickly. Neither of the girls no any of the subtle ways to table talk without actually talking. While neither of us got to take a four-point loner we averaged, at least four tricks for every time we called. We won the first game quickly and immediately went into the next.

The second game goes a little slower as Celestia seems to be picking up on some of the subtle tricks the game has mostly reading what has been played by who. As this game went on the pony side gained a small lead and won by one point.

Game three was a complete cluster fuck. Rainbow Dash got cocky and decided to play over aggressively. Well we just let her do it. I have never seen some one get euchred four times in one game. We won that game eleven to two.

Game four Dash seemed to calm back down but too little too late. While it was a close game, we still managed to beat them out. This seemed to put the any plans Dash had straight into the garbage.

‘Now what do I ask sense we were playing for information.’ I snap my fingers and my clone disappears causing both of the girls to look up at me.

I take a breath and let it out slowly as a smile creeps over my face. I open my mouth to ask my question when dash cuts me off.
“Double or nothing.” She all but shouts in a panic.

I give her a deadpan look and reply. “I only needed one question answered. The other questions in my mind seem like, they would be more fun to find out.” I trail off for a second before giving her a very predatory smile and finishing with. “In a more intimate manner.”

Both of them flinched at either my remark, or my smile. ‘I don’t think they have ever seen someone look at them in such an unabashed or carnivorous fashion.’ I would have thought it was fear if not for a very obvious blush turning Celestia’s fur pink along with both of their wings twitching slightly.

“Now for my question for Ms. Dash. When are you friends expecting you back from that weather convention?”

Author's Note

I need some OC's for guards mostly night core. Send me a message any I like I will put in.

I am making better progress then I thought next up date will be quicker.

A New Time Frame.

Author's Note

I seem to be making good progress this weekend so here an early chapter. I will still be releasing the next on the 16th. I may go to weekly if I can keep this pace.
Wish me luck.

A New Time Frame.

This drew Celestia’s attention. I could almost see the thoughts running behind her eyes. ‘Even if she could figure out my plan the instant I take her back its going to be too late.’

Dash was a bit more abrupt answering my question with a question. “Why?”

I give her a simple smile and just say. “Please answer the question.”

She looks like she is about to start arguing with me when Celestia clears her throat and says. “Though I do not like it either, we have to play by the rules. He entered into this wager with some form of restrictions on himself. Furthermore, from what I have gathered you had ample opportunity to turn down this wager. Now Rainbow Dash while neither of us like this outcome we agreed to it.” She looks at me and I give her a small nod. “Then just like Discord this being…” She trails off and looks at me and I supply.

“Where are my manors I thought we had done introductions.” With a flourish of my hand, I give her a slight bow from the waist. “Please call me, Delirium.”

She gives me a nod of thanks. “Delirium, here is bound be certain conditions. Am I correct?”

‘Shit play it cool. I don’t know if Discord had different restraints on his powers so confirm a minimum no more.’

Rising up from my seat, I say. “To speak plainly my verbose and oft veiled methods are bound not much in action but in veracity. For it is with a deft mind and dexterous presentation of words can I achieve more than by simple application of authority.”

Rainbow Dash took offense to my response seeming to spit her words at me as if they were poison. “What is that supposed to mean, huh?”

I just look Celestia straight in the face and say. “Not one for politicking is she?”

With a sigh, she just shook her head.

I just give her a flat look and rub my right temple asking. “Please tell me at least one of the bearers understands word craft.”

“Rarity and Twilight both are fairly practiced. Rarity is better at it, but if you wish to truly cross words with someone it will have to be Luna or myself.”

“Quite, but that is neither here nor there.” Turning to face Rainbow Dash I ask again. “When and where are you friends expecting you to return from that weather convention?”

She looks to her princess then sighs. “I was supposed to meet them at the gala no later than an hour from its start.”

“Thank you. Now was that so hard?” I ask with a smile.

She gives me a dirty look and I don’t care. ‘I have close to two days to steal an element or two before Dash’s absence is noticed and before I take Celestia. Now to get the Princess back.’

I turn to Celestia and offer. “Would you like to go home now or would you care to stay for…” I look down and check the time. Almost four. “High tea?”

She gives me a polite smile with what amounts to a four-legged curtsy and says. “While tea sounds lovely. If you truly are willing to just return me to the castle at this time I must take you up on that offer.”

“So be it, but let no one say I lack in decorum. I will see you in a few short days if you wish to watch my little game.” I offer her my arm and she takes it.

“My, it has been years sense any being has offered me both a challenge and polite conversation. I think Luna will like you more than Discord. She never quite got over the incident with the cotton candy hair.”

I picture that and cannot help but grin. “I will be back in a moment. Feel free to enjoy the amenities while I am out Ms. Dash.”

She gives me a dirty look and I just punch in some new coordinates. With a push of a button, we’re off. Oddly enough, we end up in the same broom closet. “I swear, it’s like this dam thing likes this storeroom. I was aiming for the throne room. Let’s see when we arrived before we leave shall we.”

Celestia gives me a small smile. As if, this little incident and my frustration amuse her.

I cannot let her get away with that. I tap my toe like I am trying to adjust my shoe and suddenly she has a few new accessories. Tom Baker’s scarf and Matt Smith’s fez. I give her my own smile.

Honestly I expected a little anger or some chagrin. What I got shocked me a bit. A genuine smile. I watched as she wrapped the scarf a little tighter about her neck.

Looking down I read the display. Doing some quick mental math, I realize I took her forward by almost twelve hours. ‘A little more time wouldn’t hurt for the plan.’ I turn to her and say, “I would give it an hour before going out there just to play it safe.”
She nods at this and I hit the return button.

This time around, I lost an hour in the return. Dash was no ware in sight and I had plans to revise.

I leave to house to Dash and head towards town to get some more surveillance on the library. I need to find out if I can replace one or two of the elements before they leave for the gala. Getting them the night before the gala combining with my very public taking of Celestia and Rainbow Dash not showing up should force Twilight into some very rash actions.

As I neared the edge of the forest, I realized something. It was still daylight I can’t enter the town in this form. At the same time, I need something that won’t draw attention until I want it. I make another clone of myself and take away most of his power. When he formed in front of me I began shaping him.

First, I started with a normal male pony body. Looking him over I turn his coat a deep black and his mane gray. Next I built his body up I made him a full head over Rainbow Dash. I add a horn for good measure. The clones muscles get rearranged heavy tone, medium mass. Finally, I add a cutie mark a silver triskele.

Looking over my creation, I still feel something is missing. It hits me. I tap my cane on his back and head for the entire world looking like I was knighting the guy. I step back and he is wearing a fedora and a waistcoat both black pinstriped with blood red silk accents. The ribbon on the hat and the pocket square in his pocket. I debate adding a shirt and tie; and go for broke adding a charcoal shirt with a solid (no pattern) silk tie. With these touches, I link our minds and send him off into town.

It Takes a Thief

Grand Galloping Gala T minus 18:00

I have eighteen hours until the gala starts and Rainbow Dash is being a depressing bitch. Granted she had a lot to be pissed about: One, I kidnapped her. Two, I turned her into a human. Three, she figured out I was feeding her meat, damn chicken nachos. Four, I think she is figuring out that all of the out fits I put her into are kind of slutty from the way I keep looking her over.
So all and all the last four hours have sucked. At least she has locked herself in her room now rather than following me around giving me the stink eye any more. I was sitting in my security room going over some final traps and alarms. “Maybe add more of those transformation spells but not to human that would get boring. I would be funny seeing them change back and forth watching them get frustrated.”

Looking up at the clock, I saw the time and got ready.

Grand Galloping Gala T minus 15:45

Sitting and waiting for Twilight Sparkle to turn in for the night sucked, she didn’t go to bed until all most 2am and my bag was cutting into my shoulders. ‘For crying out loud she has a party to get ready for in the morning and she doesn’t go up to bed until two. I’m just glad the dragon is more sensible. From my hiding spot, I watched him curl up in his basket almost three hours ago. Another hour then I go in.’

Grand Galloping Gala T minus 14:45

Another hour in slow silence. No lights came on in the library for the past hour a good sign. I make my way down to street level from my hiding place. The street was as quiet as a grave good. I made my way over to the entrance. Checking the door I found it unlocked. ‘Dam these ponies are dumb. Who doesn’t lock the door at night.’

I opened the door slowly lifting it up in its hinges an old trick for keeping any door from squeaking. It glided open soundlessly. I took my shoes and socks off. Spreading my toes too further distribute my weight I crept forward.

In the soundless void that was the main level of the tree, my own breathing sounded like heavy wind as spikes of adrenaline sharpened my senses. I paused. ‘Remember take it slow you have all the time in the world to do this. A good cat burglar never rushes until their out the door.’ Three deep breaths later, I was ready to move again. I was half-tempted to hum the mission impossible theme, but realized that would make noise.

Creeping my way further into the library, I found the case. I take another deep breath. I look the case over again checking to see if anything was different from the past few days. All six elements were there but something was different. Another shot of adrenaline and I forced myself to stop again. I spent the next thirty minutes going over the case. I started at the base and worked my way up. I could feel no magic coming of the case itself. The glass wasn’t fastened to the base. It wasn’t until I was completely sure that there were no alarms I could find that I noticed what had scared me. The elements were in a different order. They must have been taken out of the case and put back sense the last time I looked at them. Crisis averted.

‘Time to get to work.’ Slowly I wrapped my arms around the glass top of the case. I slowly began to lift. The glass rose slowly. When I got the lid off and clear of the elements I pivoted and set the glass down as gently as I could. ‘Now the tricky part.’
Reaching forward I poked the element of loyalty. I sat there for a few seconds waiting to see if anything would happen. I had no idea if I could even handle the elements physically. When nothing happened, I felt that it was rather anticlimactic. I moved my hand over the element of generosity. ‘Let’s see how generous you really are time to give me the stone.’

Picking up the necklace I tried to figure out how the, stone was set. ‘Not a prong, not pave, not bezel, and not channel. Dam worst-case scenario. I can’t take the jewels out of them I have to take them all.’

This was something I absolutely did not want to do. Taking all of them left no way to hide the theft. I had not planned on leaving decoys I was hoping that taking one or two of the gems themselves would go unnoticed.

Unslinging my pack, I untie the top and draw it open. As quickly and as quietly as I could I began lowering the elements into the bag. Generosity, laughter, kindness, loyalty, magic, and honesty all accounted for. I drew the bag closed and tied it up again. Lifting the lid back up off the ground was easier than taking it off the pedestal. Now that I didn’t have to worry about knocking anything onto the ground while moving it. Not even a minute later I was done.

Moving over to where I left my shoes I just picked them up walked right out the front door and shut it silently behind me.
I walked down the street for about a block and then teleported myself home.

I appeared right in my throne room. I walked to the hidden door and opened it. As I shut the Torus door, I made my way over to Libra. Entering my treasury, I put each element upon its corresponding bust. Looking around I felt rather poor. I had a grand treasury but no treasure.

“How to solve this problem?” Tapping my chin, I continued to muse out loud. “I don’t feel like fighting a dragon to take the hoard. If I just make more, it becomes almost worthless. I hated mining no matter which game I played back home. That reminds me conjure up a computer I miss playing Bethesda games.” I kept the steady stream off no coming from my mouth for what seemed like an hour before I had an idea.

Walking over to the first pit, I use my magic to add a sign over it saying Coppers. I then move down the line adding Silver, Gold, and finally Gems. Experimenting with my magic not the best idea but this should be interesting. I was trying to make it so any lost money would appear in the pit. My first two tries got me nothing. My third attempt somehow summoned an old looking armored chariot. It was covered in rust, and seaweed as if I had summoned it from the bottom of a lake.

“Okay that was defiantly lost, but what’s in it?” Walking over to the door on the back, I give it a sharp tug. “Dam this thing is old.” I had ripped the handle and the lock out of the door. Working from there, I removed the door to find. Nothing. “Dam it. Time to try again.”

Turns out, the seventh time is the charm. Slowly coins of every size and shape began dropping out of the sky like rain. Giving it a quick glance, I see that I need to move the signs.

I reach to grab the gold sign when a large bag with a symbol I don’t recognize clips me in the arm flipping me into the pit. ‘Damn duck lied. Gold coins are not like water.’ I hurt. Most of my body was felt like the time I got clipped by that car waiting for the school bus. Luckily, nothing was bending in the wrong direction and I could feel the bones and muscles realigning in my body.
I reached down and flipped over the bag that caused this little bout of pain. It read First Equestrian Bank of Manehattan and in the middle was a large B with two slashing bars going across it at the diagonal. ‘Guess someone knocked over a bank.’

Now I just have to wait until Twilight and the others try to attack….

“FUCK! They don’t even now I did anything!”

Getting the Party Started

My plans had gone off without a hitch. Of all the problems I could have had that was not one of them I had a plan for, I should have taken Dash from the gala. I could have let Spike see me leaving after taking the elements. I could never have realized this problem until this point

Grand Galloping Gala T minus 4:45

Little less than five hours until the gala starts. Then I have to wait for me to grab Celestia. The girls are all going to be freaking out because the elements are gone. “Yeah this is a cluster fuck on my part.”

Grand Galloping Gala T minus 1:45

I had decided to remake my pony avatar this time it was just me. No playing the puppet master to a hollow shell of flesh via remote senses. I was going live and in person.

First things first transforming back and forth between forms. I needed to get used to doing this. I did not want to be caught with my pants down. Both figuratively and literally. After trying two or three times, I realized several things. First, transforming my body is a very disturbing sensation worse than healing; I felt every bone and muscle move shift and reshape. Second, both forms wore the same garments they just altered themselves to suit the body.

If I could hide, my discomfort when I revealed myself what I saw in the mirror would definitely make a good show. ‘Speaking of shows I wonder if Dash would like to see tonight’s events.’

Grand Galloping Gala T minus 0:35

I started getting ready. Humming masquerade I began flashing through several different outfits. Vermilion, white, navy, and several other color schemes before settling on black opera attire; with a few tweaks. I opted for a tri-corn hat over a top hat, adding silver lace to the edging. I was really playing off the black and gray color scheme I had chosen. My coat had tails, which just made me smile a tailcoat on a body with a tail.

Grand Galloping Gala T minus 0:20

I was ready. Dressed like Arsene Lupin, the only real differences being a different hat, and no monocle. It fit in my mind, playing the gentleman thief and dressing the greatest fictional thief to come out of France.

‘My humor is lost on these damn ponies.’

I walked into my main hall and forced Rainbow Dash to appear in front of me. Apparently, she was sleeping in her room. Furthermore, much to my pleasure she apparently still sleeps in the buff. I got a good look at, well the goods before she rolled over off the carpet. It was rather funny when she did this because; well bare breasts meets cold marble.

She woke up with a yelp and a shiver. She sat up and looked around clearly surprised when her eyes settled on me. She covered herself with her wings and gave me a look that could have frozen water.

“Yes, yes your mad I get it.” I told her in an exhausted tone. “I was wondering if you would like to watch the opening of the games at the gala in the theater.”

She blinked at that, and then asked. “How?”

I sighed. “You don’t remember your first morning here? It’s not too much of a stretch to project what I see on to the screen in there.”

She just nodded. Clearly not happy about being reminded about our first morning together.

“Very well, enjoy the show I will see you later.” With that, I slammed my cane down and down and disappeared from the hall.

I reconstituted myself in an alley not far from the palace. I stretched for a minute getting ready for spending several hours on all fours or at least until I appear and take Celestia to the past. With a groan and a final movement, I bring my cane up to my head.

Tapping the handle to the center of my fore head were it sticks. My body shifts and pops. Two minutes later my pony self walks out of the backstreet. I briskly trot towards the castle. Feeling for a hint of my own magical presence in the card, I gave Fluttershy. ‘Interesting its approaching me at a near perpendicular angle. It’s amazing how much I can steal from fiction with these powers.’

I kept moving towards the palace. As I got closer more and more ponies started appearing in finery. It looked like a cross between a Venetian masquerade and a state dinner. So many different styles and colors, I stood out not because of how I was dressed but rather for the somber tones, I had clad myself in.

I could feel the card getting closer now it was almost directly behind me. I slowed down a bit watching the rest of the crowd. ‘Need to see a few invitations so I can fake one.’ Oddly, they looked to me like the golden tickets from Willy Wonka. Easy enough for me to fake but even easier to steal and modify. Watching the crowd around me no one was looking at me for more than a glance save a few mares here and there. ‘Need to do this quick and quiet.’ One point-to-point teleportation later, I had an invite in my breast pocket. I got in line to enter and pulled the ticket out of my coat the aura around it was silver I looked it over checking for parts I would need to doctor. Pitifully enough, these ponies did not even think to individualize invitations to an event hosted by royalty. ‘These things don’t even have a serial number or an area stating who the invitation was sent to or by. To trusting for their own good.’

Something caught my attention as I neared the front of the line. I could feel the card was moving quickly towards the entrance. Looking over the crowd, I saw all five of the girls making their way up to the entrance skipping the line. ‘Guess being a princess has its perks. Oh boy does she look anxious.’

While Twilight was looking like she was trying to bluff her way out of a bad poker hand the others looked rather normal. ‘Guess she doesn’t like the gala, or she noticed the theft.’ They quickly were waved through the entrance and I lost sight of them. It took me another ten minutes or so to get through the line.

As I entered, I couldn’t help but notice all the little differences. Things a human event of this magnitude would have that were missing from the ongoing party. Such as there was no coat-check; granted when you control the weather and can give a 100% accurate forecast who would wear a coat. Looking around the room, I skipped out on the line to be greeted by the Princess I didn’t need to risk meeting myself.

As I entered the main area of the party, I could feel the card across the room. I had all the time I wanted to do this. ‘A true hunter has the patience to wait for the prey to come to him when he is near.’ Waiting for any of them to find me, I went over to the bar. ‘Damn it’s a guy oh well.’ I was happy to see it was an open bar and got myself a vodka martini. From there I moved over to some tables and sat at an empty one waiting.

Full Swing

‘Waiting always is the hardest part.’ I muse to myself as I wait for Rarity or Fluttershy to come into my line of sight I still had yet to see any of my opponents after they came into the palace. Therefore, I just sat there drinking slowly nursing my drink enjoying the light burn it left as I did so. I could feel my magic coming closer as I watched the crowd a few mares looked at me some questioning with their eyes not knowing who I was, wondering why I was sitting by myself, other interested in me and not hiding it. ‘Can a horse be a slut?’

As I pondered these deep thoughts close to ten minutes went by and for the last three the card had not moved. She was at ten o’clock just outside of my line of sight I had no doubt that at least one of them could see me. Not wanting to waste any more time, I got up and began a slow circle over to where she was. Passing the bar, I dropped off my empty glass and turned to start towards the card.

I was slowly closing in on my potential target. Thirty feet, twenty, at ten I really began looking at who was in front of me.
Three of the element bearers were there Pinkie, Rarity, and of course Fluttershy. Each was wearing a custom dress I suppose. ‘Can they be dresses if they don’t have a full skirt?’

Rarity was in shades of pale blue. Pinkie was well in pink. It seemed like Rarity had gone all out on Fluttershy. She was wearing green with silver accented by black. It was really cute on her.

Rarity spotted me first. “Darling it is simply wonderful to see you.”

I gave her a smile. “Who could deny themselves the pleasure of seeing some of the loveliest ladies in all of Equestria?” She was eating this up like candy as she and Fluttershy both started blushing and Pinkie just giggled. “Who is your rather bubbly pink friend?”

Rarity didn’t even get a word in edgewise. “I’m Pinkie Pie. Our bubbly friend is Ditzy.” She pulled a random gray pegasus with uneven eyes out of literally nowhere who just giggled before flying off at a diagonal.

I blinked. ‘What was in that martini? Did the bartender slip me a mickey?’

Rarity came back with. “Pinky, I believe he was referring to your personality dear. How has your night been so far my dear?”

I shook my head and gave them a small smile. “Rather slow so far, until I spotted the three of you.” I turned to Fluttershy and asked. “So tell me, have you saved me that dance?”

Fluttershy eeped and broke out into an enormous blush that all most made her look like Pinkie had grown wings. ‘That is so adorable she is so innocent and gentle … I must corrupt her. ’

I leaned in a little closer “If you aren’t up for it yet why don’t walk and pony watch for a bit?”

This seemed to calm her down and let me pull her away from the others. ‘Just like dad always said pick the weak one off from the herd.’ I lead Fluttershy away from the safety of her friends and back towards the main room where Celestia was. This served a dual purpose: a. I could monitor Celestia. Moreover, b. Find out information from Fluttershy through casual conversation.

As we entered the room, I looked for an unobtrusive vantage point. Somewhere I could see the whole room without really moving my body only my eyes. ‘I know were my past self will enter from now where is the past place to see this but stay away from it? That corner good view of the hall and the drink waiters pass by every once in a while.’ I slowly lead her over to the corner.
“Recognize anypony in the room?” I ask her hating myself for using the pony vernacular.

She looked around the room stopping and naming individuals as she went. “Over there is Fancy Pants talking with Orion and Lady Justice. Then over there is Misters Karabatsos, Walter, and Letrotski; I didn’t think they knew anyone here.”

I looked at the last three ponies she pointed out and couldn’t keep the smile off my face. They stood out; they looked like the main cast of The Big Lebowski. I turned to Fluttershy and said. “The Dude abides.” Before flagging down a waitress and telling her to give them, some white Russians.

Fluttershy merely shrugged and went on naming ponies. Finally she stopped. It seemed like she had named half the ponies in the room. “How did you know Mr. Latrotski’s favorite drink?”

I chuckled and shrugged. “Everyone knows the dude. As I said he abides.”

She just seemed to accept this. We kept watching the crowd. Every once in a while she would point out a pony give me a quick blurb. While she was doing that, I was watching the area around Celestia waiting for me to show. I saw the curtain move and knew I only had a few minutes.

“So are you ready for that dance now?”

Her blush was much more subdued this time and she nodded. I lead her back the way we came away from the action about to take place. We made our way to the dance floor we were almost on it when a thought crossed my mind.

I gave her a sly smile and asked. “Would you mind if I picked the music?”

She didn’t seem to understand what I meant and just gave me a small smile.

I gave her a real smile and had my horn light up with silver light and I cast my influence over the band.

----Fluttershy----

I had no idea what he meant by pick the song. The last time someone forced the orchestra to play something different was Pinkie and that did not go over well. I just stood there stunned as his horn lit up and with a silver glow; he drew a magic circle with four emblems.

When he was done he looked it over gave me a smile. The song that was playing ended and he cast the circle over them. As it flew, the circle grew larger until it covered the whole lot of them then fell over them.

With a smile, he drew me onto the dance floor as the nobles just stood there stunned as a member of the orchestra set down his trumpet and moved forward.

----Third Person----

All the brass players set down their instruments and sat watching. As a pony picked up a guitar. A slow strumming riff began simple and was quickly backed up by the woodwinds.

The Stallion who had set aside his trumpet moved to the front and began singing in a simple tenor. Only one couple was moving on the dance floor as everypony else had stopped to watch what had happened to the performers.

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure,
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune,
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long,
And the forests will echo with laughter.

The music began picking up. Playing in a faster rhythm the guitar speed up and the drums joined in helping to keep the beat.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind?

The music began building to a crescendo. Playing louder, faster, and a little harder. The guitar began to howl out it's notes. The ponies had never heard anything like the noises and riffs this coming from such a simple instrument.

Some were just staring at the young couple dancing on the floor. As the stallion spun the mare around in his magic and hooves.

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

The music slowed to a stop and the last line was spoken.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.

The nobles were stunned they had never heard any song like it. They sat stunned until one pony, the black stallion on the dance floor began stomping his hooves in applause.

----Delirium----

I kept clapping for a minute until several others joined in. I leaned over to Fluttershy who looked flushed and embarrassed. “Shall we get a drink?”

She just nodded stunned. So I lead her off the dance floor and over to an empty table and flagged down a waitress and ordered some drinks. As she scurried away, I turned and gave Fluttershy a small smile. She seemed to relax a little bit seeing me just sitting there.

She asked me. “What did you do to them?”

I gave a quick laugh and told her. “Simple musical compulsion. They could feel the song in their soul and had to let it escape. The only bad thing about using that spell is none of them will be able to remember how the song went.”

She cocked her head at my answer and asked another question. “A musical compulsion?”

“Now that is something I was sure you would know. Have you ever seen ponies breakout in song and dance?” She nodded and I went on. “Normally it would effect a larger group but I found a little spell in Twilight Sparkle's library the day we met that… well you saw the end results. The hard part is making them sing the song I want.”

The drinks arrived and so did three more of the elements of harmony. Pinkie, Rarity and Twilight, one looked excited and happy, another either seemed impressed or scandalized, and the other looked pissed. Three guess which is which and the first two don’t count. I just took a sip of my drink and waited.

Twilight just kept glaring at me so I used my magic to pull out a chair for Rarity, and Pinkie who sat down. Once they had been seated, I pulled in the chairs and kept ignoring Twilight. Flagging down a waiter, I ordered another drink and asked if Fluttershy wanted a refill and if the other girls wanted anything. While this went on Twilight fumed the waiter looked at her about to ask her if she desired anything. The look in her eyes sent the poor soul sprinting back to the bar.

Her rage seemed to have built to the point where it had to be released when from the main hall I heard a noise. The ponies started screaming and running every which way. One stallion galloped right up to the bar grabbed a bottle of whiskey and downed the whole thing in one go. A mare just started bawling and pulling out her mane. Guards were calling for order. I heard one order a member to go alert Luna. ‘Oh happy day.’

I smiled leaned over gave Fluttershy a quick peck on the check. She eeped and fell out of her seat. Seeing the anxiety of the crowds around us my smile grew wider and more sincere. Cracking my neck I shouted said. “It’s Show Time!” I made thunder crash to punctuate my exclamation.

Revelations

‘Did I really just make a Beatleguise reference? Oh well it fits.’ Rising up from where I had been sitting I finished my drink in one long pull before throwing the glass to the ground behind me.

Twilight backed off. Her hard gaze turning nervous at my sudden attitude change. The others seemed to realize that something was happening as the panicking ponies ran out of the room.

When the three of them were focusing on me I had a great idea. Reaching up with a hoof I seized the horn on my head. I gave them a sadistic grin.

----Twilight----

This stallion just seemed to find delight in the near riot happening around us. His actions becoming quicker as the ponies around us grew into a lather. I watched as he quickly gave Fluttershy a kiss on the cheek, then announced in a voice that could have put Luna’s royal Canterlot voice to shame “It’s Show Time!” Then thunder crashed.

What I saw him do next is something every unicorn has nightmares about happening and he did it to himself. I could only watch in mute horror as he snapped his own horn off of his head with a smile. He must truly be mad because he didn’t even flinch at what should have been a cripplingly painful injury.

Without even giving it a second thought he spun his horn in hoof and slammed the point into the ground. What happened next made Fluttershy faint and made Pinkie and I almost be sick.

I could only watch in horror as what appeared to be tumorous growths began appearing along his body. Each one growing rapidly taking various shapes all across his body. Some grew faster than others altering the balance of him. The oddly shaped lumps of flesh began stretching and moving contorting his body in ways no pony was meant to move.

The sounds grinding began filling the room as his shape kept shifting. Sickening pops and cracks echoed through the now empty room as his body further twisted. I could only watch in horror as his hooves shattered each one breaking into five points. Slowly the splits moved up and they began to unfurl. Each end moving into a parallel line forming a mismatched set of opposable digits. The formations on his fore limbs changed dramatically. Forming a limb, I had only scene on Minotaur’s, diamond dogs, and on myself, after I had crossed through the looking glass; he had hands. His body continued to take a shape I was familiar with looking all the more like the beings on the other side. He forced his body into a bipedal stance standing upright for the first time.

As soon as he had stood the mussels forming around his body shifted faster stretching the skin moving the bones faster. In places I could only watch sickened as the bones dimpled his body causing the skin under the fur to crack. It was almost like watching a snake egg hatch as the skin rippled, fell flat, and bulged. Cracks began spreading across his body revealing a red glow under his skin. The wounds should have been bleeding profusely but instead it looked more like he was molting. As the fur pealed and fell away I could see pale peach colored flesh appearing in the now bare patches replacing the red glow of whatever foul magic he was using.

Viewing his face reforming was by far the worst. His eyes bulged and changed colors before shrinking and moving forward from the sides of his head to the fore giving him true binocular vision. His ears seemed to spasm as they migrated down his head shrinking and twisting into a set that had no movement and faced forward. His nose shrank as it moved up to between his eyes. Fluttershy came to just long enough to see the being head raised before us let out a silent yawning howl to the sky. Barring his teeth each of them subtlety shifting and changing shape most of which appeared to bare sharp points. He closed his jaws with a sharp clack bearing his predators grin at us. This was too much for her and she promptly fainted again.

I observed as he began to peel the fur off his body revealing more pale skin on his face and neck.

Rarity had turned green enough to see it through her white coat.

I had expected him to be nude after his transformation but as he kept peeling off the fur bits of it clung on in places. They slowly shifted in to fabric the suit he had been wearing when this had all began seemed to have stretched. Fitting his new shape the fur and bits of flesh that fell to the ground around him began forming around his lower extremities.

Then lightning flashed and before my eyes could readjust to the sudden flash of light it was over. Standing before her was a form she had only seen in one place. The world she had entered to retrieve her diadem the element of magic.

----Delirium----

The looks on their faces when I transformed… priceless. Sure I could have made it appear painless done the whole thing in a flash of light or sudden darkness, but those reactions worth the time. Pinkie well her mane was constantly flattening and curling, Twilight looked terrified and curious, and poor Fluttershy… passed out on the floor wings twitching like she was trying to fly away.

I stretched a bit loosening up, and moaned. “Fuck! Do you have any idea how hard it is to stay hunched over like that?”

I stretched down and seized the horn I had forced into the floor and with a tug I turned it back into my cane. I gave it a quick spin with my fingers before setting the tip back on the ground. Settling my weight onto the cane I leaned forward and gave Twilight a cocky grin, she backs off a bit clearly unsettled by everything that had happened.

“Well I’m only going to say this once so…” I slammed my cane down and Applejack flashed into the room next to Twilight.

Her back was to me and before I could get a word in Applejack started crying to Twilight. “Thank goodness you teleported me here. Some monster took Princess Celestia.”

This shocked Twilight visibly. “What?”

“It’s true I never saw a critter like it. It had…” As she described me I displayed they attributes to Twilight. “Black and white hair. Green and blues eyes. It walked on two legs.”

I cut in. “It had fair skin and is devilishly handsome.”

This got her to finally turn around and notice I was standing right behind her.

“You!” Rarity accused.

“Me.” I agreed with a leer.

“How could ya take the Princess?” Applejack asked.

I laughed, and they gave me dirty looks. “Oh, save those you will need them in a minute.”

“Why?” Pinkie inquired.

“Why simple, Celestia is not the only thing I’ve taken from you this week.”

This drew confused looks from everyone but Twilight who gave me a suspicious glare.

“Oh, Twilight just figured out were the elements of harmony went.” They gasped in horror at this revelation. ‘Oh, this is going to get so much sweeter.’ “Know which one of the five of you can guess my other crime?”

More blank stares from everyone but Fluttershy who was still passed out on the floor. Behind the glare Twilight was trying to think.

“Come now, does not one of you wants to try?” I got no response from them. I shrugged my shoulders and went on. “Well so be it.”

I tapped my cane on the ground and there was a flash in Fluttershy’s mane. Thus pissing off Twilight enough to speak. "What did you just do to her?"

“I gave her your invitation. Stop on by if you ever want to get the elements or Rainbow Dash back again. Ta-ta.” I tapped my cane on the ground and reappeared at home in my throne room.

Not even five minutes later Dash bursts into the room huffing and clearly pissed off. I just raised an eyebrow and waited.

Several times Dash tried to put words to her anger but got no further then opening her mouth. I let this go on for at least ten minutes, which seemed to be nine minutes too long. It seemed that I had made her so mad she was speechless.

I gave her a bored look and said. “Some time before your friends arrive.”

With that the dam burst and she went off on a tirade. She was talking so fast I caught maybe every sixth or seventh word. What it amounted to was ‘How could you lead Fluttershy on like that. What did I do to make them faint / almost throw up. What did I do to Fluttershy at the end.’

She kept going on and on never making a new point, so I just started cleaning my nails. It took her about five minutes to notice my indifference to her rant. She pause to a second to take a deep breath and saw what I was doing while she was yelling at me.

I took this break in her histrionics to slide in my two cents. “While it is entertaining to see you all hot and bothered.” She blushed and at the same time the fire in her eyes got hotter. “Your friends should be here within the next few hours. So take a bath, grab a bite to eat, take a nap, or whatever. Just be ready the games have begun!”

Gathering the Players

Fluttershy had never been more nervous. The stallion she had been enjoying the gala with was some sort of shape shifting monster. It had come from nowhere he had been polite to her the whole evening never pushing her into anything. How could things have turned out so badly?

She felt some one shaking her trying to get her attention.

She groaned and the shaking paused for a moment before a voice joined it.

“Fluttershy, come on wake up we need you.” The anxiety in the voice made Fluttershy panic a little and her adrenaline spiked a little waking her quickly.

Her eyes shot open revealing she was resting on the ground in a deserted hall with her friends all around her looking afraid.
“What happened?” She asked in a quiet voice.

Pinkie darted in front of her face and in one long run on that sounded like one word said. “That stallion you were with wasn’t really a pony. He was this freaky magic thingy. After you passed out he transformed it to this big ape thingamabob. It was super freaky and looked really painful. Then he used magic to bring Applejack here and told us every evil thing he did this week. Now we have to go save the princess, Rainbow Dash, and get the elements of harmony back from that big meanie.”

Fluttershy blinked several times before saying. “Oh, my.” This in Fluttershyese was the equivalent of swearing. “Where did he go?”

Twilight shook her head and said. “Before he left he said he gave you our invitation. Your mane was glowing.”

This made something click in Fluttershy’s mind as she reached a hoof up into her mane and pulled out the card he had given her.

Twilight saw this and used her magic to pull the card away from her. It was half way between them when it gave off a flash of silver light. It began floating in midair spinning slowly. The five of them could only watch in fascinated horror as the card began changing right before their eyes.

The silver triskele began uncurling until it had forced the black border onto the reverse side of the card. Now what had been the front was blank and the reverse had a double border black outlined with silver. Then the black ink began drawing itself into the center. When it had formed a solid dot in the middle of the card an arrow sprang out of the center.

The card fell to the ground with the arrow facing up and they watched as the arrow turned a darker black. Then the whole of the emblem move rotating like a compass so that it pointed in a new direction.

Four of them looked on as Twilight slowly drew the card off the floor with her magic. As she lifted the card the arrow did its best to stay focused in that on direction.

“He gave us a compass?” Applejack asked.

Twilight nodded in confirmation. “Looks like it’s pointing either towards Ponyville or Dodge Junction from here.”

“Very good. You caught on quick.”

“Who said that? Where are you? Are we playing hide and seek?” Pinkie began questioning the voice.

“Yes we are. I’ve hidden and you are all seeking. I will allow six ponies to come and play, but sadly only five of you are listening. Go get a sixth player for our game.”

This seemed to stun them. They began looking at each other the question clear in their eyes. ‘Who do we ask?’

“Twilight, dear perhaps we should inform Luna about everything we have discovered.” Rarity put the suggestion forward very simply in a well hidden but nervous tone.

“Rarity’s right about that there Twilight. We should tell Luna seeing as how this involves her sister princess Celestia.”

She sighed and nodded her head. “Come on then she should be with the guard captains.”

Twilight lead her friends out of the room which had been the source of anger, horror, and so many other conflicting emotions. They quickly reached the main hall. Upon entering it became obvious Luna was here and she was clearly upset.

“We care not how long thou think it will take we demand results captain.” When Luna was upset no being could mistake her for anypony else.

With the echoes of Luna’s use of the royal Canterlot voice, still ringing in both their ears and the hall The five of them approached Luna.

As they drew near to her she turned and addressed them. “Yes, *Cough* sorry. Yes girls, what is it you need?”

“Your highness, we have information regarding the being who abducted princess Celestia.” Rarity began.

Twilight cut her off gently. “May we discuss this with you in private.” Her eyes were scanning the hall they stood in looking for anything out of the ordinary.

Luna looked over the girls. Each one seemed either disturbed, suspicious, or angry, and poor Fluttershy looked to be on the verge of crying. Seeing this Luna nodded and said. “Follow me.”

She lead them out of the main hall and into a corridor. Three quick turns later she paused long enough to open a door and lead them all into a drawing room. When they had all entered she shut the door.

As soon as she had closed it, Twilight began explaining the events of the past several hours concluding with. “Princess, it appears that your sister was taken as part of a game by a yet unnamed enemy. Who confessed to not only taking princess Celestia, but also claims responsibility for stealing the elements of harmony. He also claimed to have abducted Rainbow Dash.”

Luna rubbed her chin with a hoof before saying. “This is grave news indeed Twilight. Do we have any leads?”

“Yes princess, before he vanished he left a card and told us to come at our discretion. In examining the card we tripped some sort of magical transformation. Now the ink on the card appears to acting as some sort of compass. Then a voice told us we would be playing a game and we needed another player.” She placed the card on a table in front of Luna.

As soon as Luna began using her magic to examine the card the voice returned. “Welcome to the game player six.”

They all blinked at this. They had not thought that this would happen.

Rolling Out in Style

“Welcome to the game. Your first objective is to make it to the location of the second round. The time limit is three hours. Begin.” The card flashed and fell back on the table.

They all crowded around the table to see what had happened to the card. The symbol had changed. Now the center was larger with barely legible text in the center reading 300 Mi. The one arrow was still pointing in that same direction.

“It seems our opponent wishes for us to hunt him.” The lunar princess quipped.

Twilight looked up from the card. “I don’t recognize the unit abbreviation; does anypony else know it?”

All of the girls shook their heads and Luna just frowned.

Applejack was the first to speak after that little disappointment. “Doesn’t matter if we know it or not. We just have to get there.”

“You are correct, we must depart at once. Follow me to the chariot pool.” With that Luna moved to the door and exited the room.
The girls all shared a quick look and trotted out of the room to catch up with Luna. The pace she set had the five of them nearly sprinting before they caught up to her near the barracks.

“Guards, I need transportation for six including myself. We have a lead on the location of Celestia. Furthermore, the party responsible is claiming to have also abducted the element of Loyalty Ms. Rainbow Dash. I want us on the way as soon as possible. Am I clear?”
“Yes, Princess.” Every guard in earshot saluted and ran off to prepare. Save one guard how approached Luna.

“Your majesty. With all due respect why the rush?”

“Captain, we received a message from the abductor. He more or less revealed his location, but gave us a time limit to get there. Without the rush we would arrive too late to be of any assistance to my sister or Rainbow Dash.”

“Very well, I don’t like the rush but I understand the urgency. It will be as you wish.” He saluted and walked away.

The girls could only watch in amazement as a dozen chariots were brought out and attached to teams of Pegasus guards. Less than ten minutes later, they were ready to go.

“Ponies, load up.” The captain barked before turning to Luna. “What is our heading princess?”

Checking the card Luna told the captain of her guard. “South east, head towards Ponyville. Once there we will readjust our heading.”

“Very well.” Turning to address his troops a mix of day and night. “You heard the princess let’s go ponies.”

“Fluttershy please ride with me, I would like to ask you about this being you encountered.”

“Um whatever you need, ah princess.” Fluttershy walked over and joined Luna in her personal chariot.

They all loaded up into the chariots only one was empty. Not counting the six of them, they were bringing twenty-four armed and armored pegasi, with thirteen unicorns and earth ponies.

As they flew, Luna asked simple questions of Fluttershy. To whom had he spoken? When did he introduce himself? What actions had he taken?

She answered the princess to the best of her abilities. Luna was most intrigued about his use of magic.

“So he possesses enough magic to force a musical compulsion on the group of musicians we had hired to perform. Yet you say he did not appear to be drained at all from the effort?”

“That’s right as soon as he saw that the effects were in place he pulled me onto the dance floor. The song lasted all most ten minutes and he had us moving the whole time. Granted afterwards he got us a seat but I feel he was letting me rest.”

“This is not good. Only a small number of entities have ever expressed that level of power so casually. Five of them you know personally Discord, and the four of us princesses. Either this being is something so ancient that we have forgotten that it had ever existed or we are dealing with a new foe.”

“Really there are beings other than Discord who could challenge you or Celestia?”

“Three that I can remember. The mother of all dragons Diabhal but she spends most of her time asleep the past two eons or so. The last male Ursa Major Bjorn but he has not left the frozen wastes sense the three tribes left. Finally Chrysalis queen of the changelings.” Luna was surprised that any of the element bearers had forgotten Chrysalis considering the wedding fiasco.

“I thought she had died after she was expelled by the shield.” Fluttershy remarked in a quite sad and apologetic voice. “I mean no pony spoke of her after. Umm sorry.”

“Fair enough point. She has not left the badlands to our knowledge.”

After this, the conversation between the two of them ended.

As they landed in Ponyville in front of the library, Luna addressed the troops. “Take a moment and rest we are going to confirm our heading then we will move out. No more than ten minutes.”

They all saluted and several pulled out water or fruit after she left. She motioned for Twilight and the others to enter the library.
“Miss Sparkle would you be so kind as to get us a map or atlas?”

“Right away.” She ran off into the stacks only to come back less than a minute later with four maps and an atlas. “Here is everything I could find right away.”

Luna pulled out the card. Setting it on the table, they all gathered in to get a look. They had spent roughly forty minutes to get to Ponyville and the card now read 210 Mi. Now the card was now bearing east, by southeast.

Pulling out the atlas Twilight began flipping through the pages trying to find a map of Equestria to the right scale. Showing Canterlot and Ponyville she began measuring.

“Eh Twilight, what are yah doing?” Applejack asked.

Pulling out an abacus, she began working out some equation. “I’m trying to figure out the scale converting whatever system of measurement he’s using into wheels.”

“Cleaver that will give us a better idea of where he could be hiding.” Luna said with a smile starting to grow on her face.

“Got it 800:1. Each 800 wheels to each Mi.” Pulling out a larger scale map. Twilight looked it over before saying. “If my math is right. We are heading to the far end of the Everfree Forest near Dodge Junction.”

Luna nodded then looked at a clock. “Very good, we have five more minutes before we get back on the chariots. Everypony get a drink or a snack we will not be stopping again before we reach our destination.”

The all shared a nod and went of briefly to do what they needed to do.

Closing In

They were making good time I could feel the card getting closer to me. When they were within ten or so miles of my home, I played a little prank on them. Who or whatever force had provided me with my information had inspired me to mimic in appearance at least a spell they should all recognize.

The card had stayed steadily pointing in the same direction for some time now. For close to two hours the small armada of guard transports hand been making good time the card was now reading less than 50Mi. and rapidly approaching zero.

Luna looked on after the brief stop in Ponyville she and Twilight had spent the flight discussing strategy. They had several ideas but had yet to finalize their plans.

“So we are in agreement, we pick our strategy after we have the opportunity to survey the location?” Asked Twilight in a firm tone.
Luna nodded. “Yes while our ideas could work a good strategist always surveys the battle field first. How far out are we now?”

Looking down Twilight read the card and informed her. “23 Mi. we should in visual range soon.”

Looking out a head of them, everyone watched as a large manor slowly came into view. It was enormous to the ponies observing it even from their vantage point. While it may not have been as tall as Canterlot castle, it was far larger in width and depth. To Luna it appeared to have twice the square hoofage of even her ancestral home, which had been capable of hosting the entire equestrian army behind its walls.

“How could this have gone unnoticed?” One of the guards pulling the chariot asked in an awed voice.

Twilight countered with. “Who would have ventured this deep into the Everfree to notice?”

The guard just nodded not finding any fault with the argument. Who could? The ponies avoided this forest like the plague and anypony entering never went in to deeply.

They all sat watching the building in front of them growing larger and more impressive. Each second getting closer and revealing more details of the structure. The guards and Luna noticed a large ring wall with battlements. Applejack and Fluttershy observed the well-maintained grounds with fruit trees lining the roads leading to the house and the peacocks on the lawn walking towards a large duck pond. Twilight and Rarity took note of the architecture of the building.

Pinkie well she was the only one to say anything. “Twitchy tail, numb right fore hoof, and tail spinning.” She started yelling “Twilight, Luna get us down or we’ll crash!”

Before either could question what she meant they saw a shield dome of swirling red, black, and silver energy spring to life and begin to grow around the property.

Luna screamed. “BANK RIGHT!”

She was barely in time to be effective. Even so, she was forced to cut the harness of the pegasi pulling them. She and Twilight jumped from the back and dove towards the ground. Turning in the air, they watched as the chariot now free of the guards but trapped in their slipstream slammed into the dome shattering into a pile of twisted metal and kindling.

The two guards quickly landed near them less than a minute after. “Thank you.” They both said with nothing but gratitude in their voices.

One said. “Any later and we would have died.” The other could only nod his agreement.

Luna nodded. “Indeed it appears we must enter on hoof. Will the two of you please fly up and inform the teams to land, and then fly a quick circle around the wall to find an entrance.”

They saluted and flew off. Quickly gaining altitude and speed.

“That was to close for comfort.” Twilight grumbled. “This shield, does it remind you of my brother’s spell?”

Luna looked at the spiraling mass of energy forming the dome that stopped at the top of the wall. “Yes, but what has me worried is that it only stops us from entering by air.”

Twilight looked at the shield again before nodding. “That does seem odd.” Before she could say anymore, the guards returned.
With a quick salute, they waited for Luna’s attention before speaking.

Granted they began. “Mam, not far along the side from here there is a gate maybe five minute trot along the wall to the north.”

“Very well, once everypony has disembarked we will head that way on hoof.” The guards nodded and the four of them watched as the chariots circled in for a landing.

“Do we still have the card?” Twilight asked watching as her friends unloaded and help unstrap the guards.

“Yes, it is pointing at the building behind us. 1525Ft. We are nearly there.” Turning to face her guards Luna ordered. “Sargent I want you and another to fly to Dodge Junction and report what has happened so far to Captain Sable Evening.”

“Should we report back to you once we have sent our report?” He asked.

“No, wait there to lead possible reinforcements.”

He nodded before pointing at one of the guards who to Luna looked like the youngest. “Son you’re with me. Princess anything else?”

“No, good luck and may the wind be at your back.” They saluted her and took off. “Everypony form up.”

All of the remaining guards ran forward falling into a block formation. The girls looked around before running up to Twilight.

Luna surveyed the ponies around her before speaking. “We suspect this to be the stronghold of the creature who has taken my sister, Rainbow Dash, and the elements of harmony. I want all of you on your hooves. If there were not a time limit on us we would be waiting for further assistance from the guard forces and the wonder bolts, but as it stands we are going to enter and attempt to recover what was taken as quickly as possible.”

The nerves of the ponies around her seemed to settle as her speech continued.

“With luck on our side we should either be able to pin the creature long enough for either, my sister and I to bind it in some way, or for the elements to be recovered and brought to bear. Are there any questions?”

One private raised her hoof. “Mam, do we have any idea on what type of beast we will be facing?”

Luna could only respond with. “No, so I want none of our forces to attempt to fight this foe one on one. I expect you to run if you do not have it out numbered at least six to one. Am I clear I want live troops not dead heroes. Fall in.”

With that, she began marching the troops north to the gate. The guards quickly forming up on her flanks with the element bearers in the middle.

Challenges at the Gates

Before the group was an enormous gate. Easily large enough for a pair of full-grown dragons to walk through abreast. Carved and inlaid upon the gate was an enormous white tiger. They could only marvel at the beauty of it. Made of white gold and black onyx for the body. Its eyes were made of tiger-eye and polished to a high luster. Rarity was practically drooling at its opulence, not even the guards could find anything negative to say about it except.

“It’s locked.” Upon arriving, one of the guards had tried to push the gate open. Turning back to the group a voice pierces the silence.

The tiger’s eyes began to glow and then a voice echoed from the gate. “Each gate is a challenge should you wish to enter will you take my test?”

Luna cleared her throat. “What happens should we fail?”

“You get one riddle wrong and you must try a different gate.”

“Very well begin your task.”

“There is a thing that nothing is, and yet it has a name. It is sometimes tall and sometimes short, joins our talks, joins our sport, and plays at every game. What am I?”

Luna smiled “A shadow.”

“Correct. What lies in a bed, and stands in bed? First white, then red. The plumper it gets. The better the old mare likes it?”

Luna blushed and paused. Letting Applejack jump in. “A strawberry.”

“True. Not chest or box is now discussed. Money can be held in it, but just as we test its metal, within it there is rust.”

This time Twilight answered. “Trust.”

“Good. I am an animal of few letters, Remove the second and you can’t see, Change it to “L” and I’m a punishment, yet backwards I’m a game.”

Twilight was about to speak when Fluttershy cut her off. “A frog”

“Right. What herb heals and wounds?”

Pinkie began bouncing in place a huge smile on her face. “Oh, I know, I know. Thyme.”

“Accurate. Answer this and know my master. What walks on four legs in the morning, two during the day, and three in the evening?”

Every one of them was stumped. What sort of begin kept changing the number of legs it had. He did not transform in green fire so he was not a changeling. Looking at each other, they shared a sad shake of the head.

“We do not know.” Luna said somewhat sad.

“Shame that was the final question. May you have better fortune at the other gates.” With that, the gleam in the tigers eyes dim to a lifeless shine.

“Ah, pony feathers.” Applejack swore.

“I feel your frustration Applejack but we have three more gates to attempt.” Twilight said while laying a hoof on her shoulder to pacify her.

“Correct.” Luna added. “Let us keep heading north and try the next gate.”

With that the turned and once again marched north. For the better part of half an hour they walked. Making their way along the gentle curve of the wall before finding the northern most gate.

Before them emblazoned upon this gate was an enormous black turtle with a snake either curled upon it or it was its tail. Again the being depicted upon the gate was made of metal and stone. Its shell while nearly the same shade of black as its head and limbs had a luster that spoke of some types of gem.

“Black Diamonds!” Rarity gasped.

“Black diamonds?” Applejack questioned.

“Applejack dear, I cannot fault you for not knowing about them. They are some of the rarest gems to be found. Even growing those with magic can take fifty years to produce one the size of a mustard seed.”

Pinkie added her two bits. “Yeah, dad always said if we found one as big or bigger than a blueberry that either princess Celestia or a dragon would give us enough money to octuple the size of the rock farm and hire enough hands to work it.”

Applejack blinked. “So this feller here, has a fortune literally hanging where anypony could see or take it.”

“Indeed.” Luna replied. “It took us almost an eon to grow and carve the gem we used make our tiara from.”

This unsettled them all what sort of being could make such a gate.

“Ah, it feels good to be praised in such a fashion. Master only smiled at my creation and that was the last I saw of him.” The voice spoke in a slow almost sleepy and deliberate manor.

“…..” All of the ponies were stunned by this revelation. The tiger had seemed to hold no self-awareness or any personality.

“Wow, you sure are more talkative then the last guy on the gate. That big kitty didn’t say much besides his riddles.” Pinkie quipped

“I guess he was more like a cat then we thought. I mean I cannot get Opalescence to do more than look at me some days.” Rarity added.

“So, you failed Byakko’s test of understanding and thought. I’m guessing he got you with the old sphinx riddle.”

They all gave the guardian of the gate a blank look.

A sigh was heard. “That riddle is one of the oldest riddles known to my master’s race, but I guess you have never seen a being like my master Delirium.”

“So that is his name.” Twilight remarked.

“It seems I have been speaking to much. Let us begin my test. The test of reason.”

All of the ponies seemed to draw breath waiting for the test to begin.

“Why have you come here this day?”

“We came here to save our friends and recover the elements of harmony.”

A loud yawn echoed from nowhere. “Very well you wouldn’t be here if master was not expecting you.” With that the gate began sinking into the ground.

“How the hay could it be that easy?” Applejack.

“Of course it could.” The voice they heard sent chills down their spines. “My guard cat just enjoys his games, and I am not of a mind to dissuade him from them. What cat won’t play with their prey on occasion?”

“Show thyself coward! Surrender and thy punishment shale be swift.” Luna boomed in the royal Canterlot voice.

“Wow nice echo effect. I could hear that all the way in my throne room.” The voiced sounded like it had a smile on its face. “By the way congratulations on making it past the first round. Round two will begin once you meet me face to face Luna. Ready. Set. Go!”

With that the voice cut off and Luna’s scowl deepened and she charged towards the door at the far end of the path.

“After her ponies!” The leader of the guard bellowed. Spurring all of them to chase after Luna.

Less than a second after he had yelled every one of them began a headlong sprint after Luna when she disappeared. Shocking them all causing them to finch back some went tail over teakettle, other plowed furrows into the dirt on the sides of the path. Trying to stop they skidded before every male member of the guard contingent seemed to slam into an invisible wall.

All of the girls managed to stop before reaching the point from which Luna vanished. Turning around they watched as the stallions began beating at an object none of them could perceive. Some were flapping their wings to no avail, others had looks of worried concentration trying to use their magic, and the earth ponies seemed to be growing tired quickly as they battered themselves against what ever held them back all in eerie silence.

“Princess, what’s going on?” One of the female guards asked.

Twilight tried to reach out with her magic and felt nothing. She spread her wings and flapped. All that accomplished was moving some leaves off the path. Nothing she tried that required magic worked. In a panic she rushed forward and tried to reach the stallions. Just like them she hit a wall that should not be there.

Turning back to the guards. “Can anypony on this side use any type of magic?”

They all shook their heads after they tried flying, levitating objects, or causing the plants to grow.

A light flashed in Twilight’s eyes before she turned to Pinkie. “What about the party cannon?”

Pinkie tapped a hoof on her chin. Before reaching up into her hair and pulling out… nothing. “It’s gone!” she exclaimed nervously. She began to really dig through her mane in earnest.

Twilight watched as some confetti, a noisemaker, some crumbs and Gummy her pet alligator fell out but nothing else. With a feeling of dread washing over her she turned to Fluttershy. She began advancing on the mare. “Can you still understand animals? Does the stare still work?”

Fluttershy started backing away from Twilight. With each step the former unicorn took towards the timid pegasus she backed up one trying to keep the same distance from the frantic princess. She tried answering the questions as they came. “Twilight, understanding animals is something I learned and as for the stare I was never…. AH!”

In her haste to back up Fluttershy had tripped over a rut in the path made by a guard trying to stop and stumbled backwards. Trying to gain her balance with her wings proved fruitless as bringing them up for the down stroke only added to her backward momentum and made her fall faster. She hit the ground and rolled almost straight back and crossed the line were Luna vanished and disappeared herself.

Twilight looked on in horror as she realized she had just scared one of her friends into falling to some unknown fate. Tears began to fill her eyes as she charged the point Fluttershy had disappeared from.

She made it all of about two steps before Applejack tackled her. “Twi, I know how you feel; but we can’t lose you too.”

“She’s right Twilight. We need you here. You are the princess of magic, if anypony can figure out what is going on here it is you.” Rarity added

She blinked her tears away. Letting out a shuddering breath she nodded. “You’re right.” She turned back to look at the guards and her jaw dropped.

Before her eyes all of the guards began changing. Slowly the colors of all the night guards began brightening, and the few day guards began darkening their white coats deepening like cloth being died. Cutie marks appearing on all of them obscured by their armor. Twilight watched in mute fascination as the mare before her a bat pony who had pulled one of the chariots here began changing from a deep gray to a pastel green. Her eyes turned from golden disks to light silver. Finally as the color changes began to stop she suddenly sagged.

“What’s wrong?” Twilight asked suddenly panicked as she looked around and saw all of the guard suddenly burdened, some handling the weight better than others.

The bat pony mare turned to her and said. “The enchantments on the armor all just failed. Only seen that happen in training.”

“Enchantments?” Applejack asked.

Twilight nodded suddenly understanding what was happening. “Every guard’s armor is enchanted to one degree or another. Spells to dye their coats and manes to uniform standard, and a minor feather charm to make the armor itself lighter. I’m guessing that sense we cannot use our magic in here the armor can’t drain any ambient magic.”

A unicorn mare next to Rarity nodded. “That makes sense princess, it would take time for such long term enchantments to fade. I believe that the different rates must be when the armor was last serviced.”

Twilight smiled. “Of course the fading spell work would bleed magic faster the armor which just had the enchantments reapplied. Which means that either we passed through some sort of spell or this whole area is between the lines is a magical dead zone. Everypony spread out stay tight on the wall blocking the stallions look for anything out of the ordinary.”

In a flash of light Luna appeared in my throne room. She was looking in every direction but with her wings splayed out to make herself appear bigger, it opened up a nice blind spot. Directly behind her where I was seated on my throne staring. It was adorable watching the pony goddess of the moon fretting about right in front of me, but all good things have to come to an end.

I quipped. “As nice as your flank is. I think it would be more productive to be looking at your face.” I watched as she spun around in a panic. The expression on her face seemed equal parts angered, embarrassed, and … ‘Is she blushing because I complemented her ass?’. “Now there’s a good girl.”

Luna stood there taking in her surroundings and me at the same time. She opened her mouth for what I presumed would be a list of accusations and demands when I cut her off.

“Yes, I have the elements, and Rainbow Dash. No, I no longer hold your sister; she was a guest not a prisoner. Any of the obvious questions I missed?” My smile was a small and subtle one, clearly amused at her flashing facial expressions. First angry then surprised ending with confusion.

“What sort of entity art thou?” She retorted.

“Ah the olden tongue very well. We are the answer to the final riddle of Sphinx before she cast herself upon the rocks. A child of the earth and to the dust we shall eventually return. A beast of knowledge. An inheritor of the blessed curse. One of the species to transcend it’s kingdom. To speak plainly I am a man.” Each answer is true and paints wildly ranging pictures about what I was. “Or did thou inquire as to mine station and role upon this plane of existence?”

“Thou doth speak with a forked tongue. To answer plainly to any would have been welcome to mine ears.”

“While it tis most pleasurable speaking with thee in such a fashion with my dear. Thou would be better served to cast thine gaze up and upon my sigil.”

She hesitantly looked up and behind me and a look of horror crossed her face. “No. It cannot be.”

My smile went all the wider. “Oh, but it is. I really must thank your sister and Miss Fluttershy for taming Discord. By doing that they brought about my age, the age of Delirium.”

A voice rang out. “Fluttershy has entered stage two.”

“Ah, so the trials commence. Six players but seven goals.” I say in a contemplative tone.

“Seven goals?” She asks.

“I assumed you and the others came here to retrieve what I had stolen. Each player who makes it to this room may select a prize.”
She ponders at this for a moment before asking. “So I have already won?”

“Yes, yes, what do you want. Which element of harmony do you want, or is Rainbow Dash added to the game you desire.” I say spinning a hand to rush her along.

“No catch? I just choose a prize and that is that?” She asks skeptically.

I huff. “Fine, if you choose Rainbow Dash, the two of you trade positions. She takes your place as a player and you get to watch the game continue at my side. She and the others play for their elements. Happy.”

“Quite. Please release Ms. Dash.”

Releasing Rainbow Dash

I gave Luna a smile and summoned Rainbow Dash from her room. ‘Chaos magic is a wonderful thing.’ I muse. ‘I could turn her back to a pony and bring her here at the same time from what I’ve seen, even Celestia is limited to one spell at a time. Still where would the fun be in that?’ One pissed off looking Rainbow Dash appeared between Luna and myself.

Looking around she seemed shocked. I mostly attributed this to being brought into my throne room stark naked and dripping wet.

‘Looks like she took that order to take a bath seriously.’ When she saw Luna she broke down in tears, ran up to the princess of the night, and threw her arms around Luna. Tears in her eyes happy to see someone she recognizes after close to three days with only me as company.

Luna looked flustered. It was obvious she had been expecting a pony, not a soaking wet humanoid female. It looked like she was going to push her off when Dash finally spoke.

“Princess Luna you came for me, thank you.” She started crying in earnest.

Luna looked at the young woman clinging to her. Taking in the bright blue wings, the raspy voice, and of course the rainbow hair. She finally seemed to find her voice. “Rainbow Dash?”

She just clung to Luna and started to cry harder unable to bring herself to speak just yet.

“What did you do to her?” She was growling at me.

I found it cute until I remembered one fact horses bite. I huffed. “Less than you think.”

She blinked at that the look on her face not lessening. “Explain then why is she crying this way?”

Several reasons darted around in my mind. I had two answers that fit the bill one would get me scorn the other at the least would get me a kick to the shin. “I have two ideas but I would need to run some tests. For now though...” I trailed off before reaching over and adjusting the cane in its stand.

A brief flash of light and Dash was back to normal. The tears really dialed back at that point.

I shuddered. “Fears confirmed. Made her to much like my race.” I went off muttering to myself. ‘Heat would be fun. PMSing ponies not so much.’

Luna blinked and began questioning Rainbow Dash. I didn't really pay any mind to it until I heard her shout. “He fed me meat!”

Luna look at me agast. She took a deep breath and I felt the mother of all bitching rants begin to form. ‘Oh hell no.’ I decided for my sake and to speed thing up to preempt her. “Like eating meat is such a bad thing. It is a required part of my races diet and you didn’t notice or care until what the six or was it the seventh meal?”

Luna gave me a level look and Dash was a bit lost.

I gave them a blank look then smiled showing a lot of teeth. “Here is a hint. Bears, turtles, raccoons, pigs, badgers, opossums, and skunks.”

Dash was long gone mentally I knew she wasn’t dumb but I still expected her to grasp this given she and Fluttershy were old friends.

Luna on the other hand got the pattern at Raccoon. She gave me a nod and asked. “You’re an omnivore then?”

“Bravo, got it in one. I still don’t get why she was so repulsed by the idea of eating meat. I mean one of her best friends lives with a dragon.”

Dash gives me a questioning look.

Luna adverts her eyes.

“You have got to be kidding me! The only predator on this forsaken rock of a planet that my people revered and respected, and you don't even bother to feed the one living under your rule properly!”

They both give me the evil eye forgoing off on one of my little tangents. “Yes, yes be mad at me later. The games have begun and you are now eligible to try and win back the element of… Which one were you again?”

She gives me a level look. “Loyalty.”

“You can try to win back the element of loyalty, or you can stay here and continue to enjoy my hospitality.”

She seemed to panic a little at the thought of not trying to win her freedom. “I’ll play! I’ll play! What do I have to do?”

I give her a smile. “Remember those halls I never let you in?” She nods. “Enjoy finding your way back to this room. Oh at any time just yell ‘I Quit’ and the game ends you're brought back to my side but I keep the element. You understand?”

“Yes.” She tersely responds. “Like I’ll quit. I doubt you have anything I can’t get through.”

I give her an evil little smile. “Good luck. You’ll need it.” I tap my cane and off she goes.

“Luna completes the game. Player two still playing. Player three has entered the game.” A voice says echoing briefly in my throne room.

“Shall we watch?” I ask the now trapped princess.

“Whatever magic thou hath wrought has left us with no power to even cast a basic scrying spell. How would we watch?” She asks haughtily.

“You ponies, so magically advanced yet so backwards technologically.” I say in a tired voice. “While I can forgive you for being ignorant of such things as you are trying to catch up after your absence. It seems as though your subjects have little imagination for the physical sciences.”

She gives me a quizzical look. Like she wants to know the answer but does not wish to ask me.

Reaching into my breast pocket, I pull out a remote. “I can never remember if your subjects developed cinematography? Or how far they developed it?” I press a button and a large screen descends. I give Luna a look then my throne. I stand up and tap my cane.
The Crimson fabric swells and the sides expand. In place of my throne is now a very plush looking loveseat. I sit back down and Luna just arches an eyebrow. I push another button and one of the eyes of my light fixtures begins to project a picture onto the screen. The picture is divided in two one shows Rainbow Dash looking around the other Fluttershy curled into a ball shivering both are at the end of two halls with nowhere to go but forward.

Luna seems surprised and a little scared by the implication of such a display because while it was obvious to me that she could sense my display of magic transforming the throne it was clear as day that no magic was being used now. Finally, she turned and asked me a simple question with hundreds of answers. “How?”

I give her a smile and pat the seat next to me. She gives me a flat look. “Princess, you can either join me, and watch as an equal, or I can shrink you down and place across my lap like a cat.” I pause for a second thinking over that statement and my smile becomes a grin. “Actually that sounds fun. I can shrink you down to the size of filly call you Woona and brush you”

I was reaching for my cane when she bolted to the open cushion and began to situate herself. I harrumphed. “Never going to get a willing lap pony.”

She gave me a look and asked her question in a more direct manner. “How are we seeing this?”

I sigh and begin. “May I assume you are familiar with photography?” She nods and I continue. “The basis for this technology is the use of a camera. If someone were to take several pictures in quick succession. Then take the film and shine a light through it and on to a blank canvas or wall while moving the film what would happen?”

She ponders this before answering. “You would project the image on the film onto the surface.”

“Correct, and because of the differences between each frame your mind preserves the movement between shots.”

She nods understanding. “So what we are seeing is a series of previously recorded images.”

“No.” She frowns and I continue. “What I told you is the basis from which this technology was founded. Take that forward forty years in my people’s history and we develop a means of broadcasting such images across distances. When my people combined this film technology with a closed circuit we developed a means of watching live events over a great distance with only a few seconds at most time delay.”

She blinks at the implication. “Scrying without magic.” I nod and her analogy. “What did your people use this for?”

I shrugged. “Where didn’t we find an application for it? Spreading news and entertainment, observing dangerous experimentation, and like we are doing now security.”

She frowns at my answer. “What do you mean security?”

I sigh and began pushing more buttons. The images on the screen increased. I had sixteen different images up in a square pattern. Some showed empty halls. One displayed the two of us on the seat. Another depicted my empty dungeons. Several of the outside views displayed guards and the remaining element bearers.

She blushed as my response clearly pointed out the obvious answer to her question. “I can see the use of such a thing.”

“Quite. Now where are my manners?” I reach down and take her right hoof in hand. I bring it up and kiss the joint above the hoof. “Princess Luna, it is my utmost pleasure to welcome your grace to my home. My name is Delirium and I shall be your host.”

My greeting seems to spark old and well-drilled reactions. “Thank thee for thine courtesy mine host

I give a satisfied little sigh and smile at her. “Thank you. It is nice to find someone who understands the old etiquette's.”

She blushes. “Quite. It is a pleasant surprise to find you this well-spoken.”

“Indeed, just because we find ourselves on opposite sides in this conflict does not mean we cannot be civil about it.” She nods at this. I smile at her. “Your sister was right; you are most definitely a pleasant conversationalist.”

“Speaking of my sister, where is she?”

I look at Luna then at the screen, taking note of the time. “Well it is almost two am now. So in four or five hours the guards will find her in the palace.”

“She’s in the palace; where?”

“Do you know the broom cupboard two levels under the room where she disappeared?” Luna shrugs. “Well I left her in there with only a mop to keep her company.”

Luna frowns at this. She was about to say something when Rainbow Dash finally started moving.

“Popcorn?” I offered a bag I conjured up to her.

Slow Starts

Twilight and the guards were making slow progress circling the grounds seeking the answer to what had happened to them. It was a long drawn out process. Trying to find the one thing that held the enchantments together in unfamiliar territory.

A turquoise night guard ran up to Twilight and snapped a hasty salute. “Princess, we believe we found the source of the enchantment blocking our magic.”

Twilights eyes lit up. “Show me.”

The guard and Twilight took off at a brisk trot. Quickly moving to the far side of the compound. Upon one of the gatehouses was inscribed this.

We are programmed to receive.
You can check out any time you like,
But you can never leave.

Twilight took one look at this before she started muttering. “Not good. Star Swirl only… it was supposed to just be theories. How could he? ” This went on for three minutes before she gasped. “ Oh buck.”

The guards around her gave her worried looks before one of the ask. “What is it ma’am?”

Twilight gave them an anxious look. “This is one of those times I really wish I might be wrong. Watch the wall for a second and tell me what you see.”

The guards watched the wall wondering what the princess meant. Then they noticed the wall was slowly pulsing darkening and lightening. They would never have noticed had it not been for the cloudless night failing to cast any shadows across the grounds.

“The wall seems to shimmer, ma’am.” One mare finally put forward.

Twilight groaned. “He has set up what the best mages over the last couple of centuries thought was only a theory. He found a way to enchant barriers with enforced rules.”

A day guard now a peachy tan, looked at her and questioned. “Theory? I thought captain Armor shield spell had those qualities.”

“They are similar. Shining’s spell is a one-way physical barrier. You can see it, you can sense it, and most importantly it can be set-up and taken down quickly.” She sighs before continuing. “What is set up here is completely passive until enforced.”

One of the guards interrupted her. “Then what about that dome that appeared that your chariot hit?”

Twilight shuddered. “He wants to play a game. He needed his players to arrive intact.”

The guards all looked confused, before that same peach mare asked. “Intact?”

Twilight swallowed. “What would have happened had we crossed on to the grounds in the air?”

All of the guards within earshot visibly shuddered at the implication of all of their magic cutting out in midair.

Twilight started speaking again. “However he did it I am willing to bet he has at least three such spells on the grounds. One allows mares to enter but not leave, another seems to strip away all magic, and the third we saw when Luna and Fluttershy vanished.”

“What can we do then?” A teal bat pony asked.

“Play the game.”

Right after she said this, a voice echoed through the grounds. “Luna has completed the game players two still playing. Player three has entered the game.”

Twilight jerked at this announcement. “If Luna is done and Fluttershy is player two. Who is player three?”

The guards all looked at each other before the senior most bat mare a deep forest green, began bellowing in a voice that no doubt carried across the entirety of the grounds. “Form up! I want everypony back in front of the gate five minutes ago! MOVE IT!”

With that, the guards fell into ranks and began sprinting back around to the gate they had entered. Twilight caught up in the rush began trying to keep pace with the guards.

When they arrived back at the gate the guards seemed short of breath but Twilight, well the poor dear was more likely to exercise her mind then her body and looked like death warmed over.

Twilight watched trying to catch her breath as the guards began sounding off in attendance. None seemed to be missing. The highest-ranking mare a deep navy blue unicorn called for a count of the guards on the other side of the barrier.

It did not take even a minute her male counterpart was of a similar mind. No sooner had the runner she dispatched to the stallions reached the line when she promptly turned around and came back at a brisk trot.

She saluted and waited for her commander to give permission to proceed with her report.

“That was quick corporal. What is the count on the other side?”

“That’s just it ma’am they were wondering who we lost. Apparently with the exception of the two flyers the princess dispatched when we landed every male guard is accounted for.”

They both turned to the still winded Twilight and the unicorn asked. “Any thoughts or insights on this matter princess, who could be this player three?”

Twilight took a moment to collect her thoughts. “Maybe it’s princess Celestia or Rainbow Dash.”

Turning to Luna. “Would you mind terribly if I invited your guards in? They are trampling my lawn.”

Applejack and Pinkie merely sat there watching Twilight and the royal guards debating what was going on.

“Well Pinkie care to toss your two bits into the pot?” Applejack mussed.

Pinkie stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth and rubbed her chin with a hoof. A minute later, she started speaking. “We are clearly dealing with a being that sees the whole world as a game. While we may not understand which game he believes we are playing to overcome him we must play the game and add our own rules.”

Applejack blinked. “Come again?”

Pinkie just smiled and started bouncing away like she normally did.

Applejack just watched as her friend moved off before turning to try to find another pony to speak to. Spotting Rarity, she moved towards the fashion driven pony when the guards began panic. She quickly snapped her head that way just in time to see a guard vanish.

Like an oncoming shadow, a line could be seen moving across the lawn. Each time it out paced the guards now rushing to the barrier wall that trapped them inside, they vanished without a sound.

All of them turned and began sprinting trying to stay ahead of the line. As quick as it started it stopped. Looking around only four mares remanded on the inner side of the gender line. Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Twilight all shared a spooked look as the same thought seemed to haunt their eyes, ears, and in Pinkie’s case mane. ‘He just took all of the guards. He could take us at any time.’

Back in the throne room.

A group of guards was stunned to find themselves in a large hall. Lavishly appointed in the finest marble and hard woods. Under their hooves, a soft almost velvety carpet cushioned each step they took as the turned looking about the room. Somehow, like Luna they all appeared facing away from the throne. That changed in an instant.

“Awe, Luna they’re adorable.”

Old Manners and Modern Metallurgy

At the sound of my voice close to two dozen assorted mares snapped to look at me. I gave them a smile. To their credit, only one or two visibly flinched. I gave them a quick once over accessing what threat they could be.

“Aw you and Celestia dressed them up as little hoplites. Just like little children playing at war. How has someone not taken over your country?”

They bristled at the comments. From behind me, I heard Luna ask. “Playing at war?”

I just smiled before answering her question. “Playing yes. That style of armor fell out of favor almost.” I paused and made a show of running the figures. “Ah, yes. My own people stopped using that type of armor almost two thousand years ago.”

Luna looked disturbed at the implication of a race two eons ahead of her nation militarily speaking. She put forth a simple question.

“Then how do the guards of your own home dress.”

After hearing this, I broke out laughing.

One mare a dark navy unicorn stepped forward and asked me in a bitter tone. “Care to share the joke with the rest of us?”

I wiped a tear from my eye. “Why not. First though would you give me the honor of introductions?”

Several of the mares looked taken aback at this sudden change of pace. It was as if they never expected me to be capable of proper decorum. None of them looked like they wanted to speak.

I turned to Luna. “If just to speed things along. Would you do the honors?”

She nodded. “The mare addressing you is first lieutenant Moonbeam of my lunar guard.” She went on to list off all of the guards in
front of me.

I nodded. “To answer your question Lt. Moonbeam. I find it amusing that Luna brought guards, not members of a standing army, not some elite recovery unit just plain old vanilla guards. I fell underestimated.”

The guards all seemed to get mad at these allegations, but come on steel spearheads and swords but bronze or gold armor.

“Let me show you what I mean.” I walked over to a pegasus who seemed to be struggling to stay standing. “She clearly has not spent enough time weight training. Would you be a dear and take off the cuirass?”

She seemed nervous about taking her armor off in front of me. She turned to look at Moonbeam and Luna. Moonbeam flicked her ears at Luna differing command.

Luna asked me a question. “Do you welcome them as guests to your halls?”

“Cleaver girl.” I muttered before turning to face the group as a whole. “Will you accept my word or do you want me to break out the bread, wine, and salt? Even more to the point will they eat from my table or accept the shelter of my halls?”

Most if not all of the guards cocked their heads at the exchange going on between Luna and I. Not surprising considering the laws we mentioned were ancient before Luna was even born. The obligations of a host. No matter what world, time, or type of creature you encounter if they have any facade of manners or decency should know these rules. Creatures of magic though can be bound by such obligations. I had offered these things to Luna, the food of my tables, the shelter of my halls, and her defense as long as she acted appropriately as my guest.

Luna shook her head sadly. “You are right they would not accept it.”

I just smiled. “Looks like I get to do this the fun way.” I waved my arm and my cane shot from its stand and into my hand.
Luna gave me a look.

“What?” I asked.

“I know that you do not need your cane to use your power. So why do you insist on using it?”

“Fair enough question I suppose.” I rubbed my chin pondering how to answer her question. “I believe it has to do what I see as appropriate for myself.”

This caused the guard to tilt their heads wondering where this was going. Luna rolled a wing in a gesture I approximated to rolling a hand.

“Were I come from magic users were portrayed to fall into one of three categories. The first was often used by either the weakest or beings that had the majority of their power sealed.”

Luna and the unicorn guards all perked up at this. I could read the thought behind their eyes.

“No, this won’t help you here. I am not about to let you have the time or tools for this knowledge to help you.” They all wilted a little bit. “They make charms and brew catalyst potions. Most famously this was used by the sorceress Evangeline of the Twilight Gospel.”

The guards gave me confused looks clearly not understanding that I had attached a title. One guard raised a hoof.

I nodded to her and she asked. “Twilight Gospel?”

I turned to Luna. “If you would be so kind as to give a full formal introduction of yourself.”

She frowned for a second before grasping what it was I was asking. “I am her royal majesty Princess Luna. Bearer of the moon, shepherd of dreams, artist of the night sky, In pax, et in nocte, and formerly, Umbra super lunam.”

I nodded. “Any being who lives and does anything of great note earns titles. The sorceress I mentioned had dozens. Dark Evangel, Maga Nosferatu, The Queen of The Night, The Doll Master, The Lord of Darkness, The Apostle of Destruction, The Tidings of Evil, Puppet Master, Dreaded Vampire, The High Daylight Walker, The Girl Queen of Darkness, The Visitation of Woe, and The Disciple of Dark Tones. To name a few.” Even Luna flinched when she heard some of the titles.

“But I am getting off track, the second typical category is channeling which most if not all of you fall into. You channel your magic into an object to control its release and purpose. Like the first type disarm them and they are nearly powerless.”

An earth pony guard had to ask the question I knew was coming. “How would you disarm us?”

I gave them a very dark and foreboding smile full of sadistic pleasure. “Why I would either will your wings and horns away, bind your magic like I already have, or if I was feeling particularly primal, break the part or parts of your body you channel your magic through.”

They all flinched at this. One bat mare looked like she was about to be sick.

I just went on. “Finally we get to the category I fall into. Divine will. I just will what I want to happen or be into existence. I just use the cane to help me focus my will so every little thought and idea does not spring forth from my imagination. I would find it rather embarrassing for every little thought, fantasy, or whim to spring forth with out my consent.” I tapped my cane and all of their armor was replaced with various servant’s attire. “Any other questions?”

None of the guards put forth a question while some did give me the evil eye. Turning to Luna I asked. “What do you think about the maid outfits, with or without the lace trim?”

The guards were in an uproar they had all been stripped down the level of foals. No magic, no arms or armor, and the being that they were supposed to be subduing was treating them like they were dolls. Stripping them and dressing them up like the other members of the palace staff. The only ones who didn’t seem upset were two unicorns dressed as cooks. The two of them must have spent a lot of time in the kitchen during basic training.

I watched Luna give the guards the once over smiling a little. “Delirium was it really necessary to do that?”

I walked over and settled myself back on to my side of the sofa. “Well not really, but it’s not like their armor would do them any good. What is it made from bronze or a gold alloy?”

She seemed to think for a moment before turning to her guards. “A fair question, I myself am uncertain as to the current compositions making up the arms and armor of the guard. Lieutenant, if you would.”

The mare wilted a bit at being told to humor me. “The armor is a mixture of copper, tin, iron, and gold. While all of the weapons are steel.”

I shook my head. “Even if your sister enchanted every piece herself those metals combined make for very poor armor. While it might be resistant to magic and slashing weapons it would be ridiculously easy to pierce or dent to the point of harming the being wearing it.” I willed two of the sets of armor back in between all of us.

Turning to them I began to lecture a little. “solid piece armor was notorious in my people’s history for the image it projected more than its practicality. In reality it was expensive, cumbersome, and easy to circumvent. Your armor seems to be an amalgamation of every design flaw possible.”

With every word out of my mouth the guards got visibly more upset.

I went on anyway. “In particular this design,” I held up the pegasus armor. “is incredibly bad. By cutting these slots for your wings you make it easier to, well watch.”

With that I put my foot on the armor and put my weight on it. Slowly it dented as I added weight. I stopped and looked at them. “At this point you have trouble breathing as the dent prevents your chest from fully expanding.” I applied a little more pressure and was rewarded with a wing hole twisting. “And at this point your wing snaps. Causing you incredible pain and trapping you on the ground possibly writhing in shock.”

All of the winged ponies flinched. The others looked unimpressed. I turned to the other set of armor, switched my cane to my left hand, and with a twist of my wrist drew forth a sword form with in my cane.

I flipped the handle around and gave a down ward thrust. The sword went in with rasping screech. I drew it back out with quick motion.

“To soft.” I looked up at the screen. Fluttershy was still not moving and Rainbow Dash was running at a break neck pace in a straight line the starting point just out of sight. I started to chuckle.

Luna looked at the screen, as did a few of the guards in the back row, while those closest kept an eye on me. We all watched one pegasus shaking curled up in a ball while another ran forwards at her best pace. The whole time I was just standing there laughing softly.

An ash grey unicorn turned to me and seemed to try to scold me. “And what is so funny about Rainbow Dash running towards this room?” She asked in a somewhat somber tone.

I swallowed my laughter and composed myself putting the sword back in the cane. “She is in a red queen trap and doesn’t even realize it.”

The mare who had questioned me raised an eyebrow at this but said nothing. I looked her over and the more I looked the more she looked like a cat to me. With her almost solid color scheme and her bright green eyes they seemed more expressive than the rest of the guard, and what they seemed to be questioning.

“You want to what that means don’t you?” I ask the grey guard.

She stands her ground and in that same quiet almost funereal voice says. “Yes.”

“A red queen trap is based upon a rather famous line from a story I enjoyed when I was younger. Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There.” I conjured up a copy of the book. I flip through it trying to find the right passage. “Ah here we are ‘Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place’ so said the Red Queen to Alice. Can any of you guess what the trap is designed to do?”

They all blinked at my question. Not getting what I was implying. None of the seemed to grasp that I had essentially stuck Rainbow Dash in a hamster wheel.

I just went back to the sofa, returned my cane to its stand, and settled in to watch the mares try to make it to me.

Down The Bunny Trail

With Rainbow Dash effectively stuck in place, I decided to focus on Fluttershy. Stilled curled up in a ball shivering at the end of the hall she came in at. Just looking at her in this state was enough to pluck at my heartstrings and made me offer her a little sympathy.

I snapped my fingers. Drawing the attention of everyone in the room using my peripherals I saw that some had confused looks as nothing happened in the room but Luna she looked worried. I just kept watching the screen waiting for my little interference to make an appearance.

Fluttershy was still curled up in her little ball waiting to be found and hoping that it was her friends who discovered her. Not knowing that they could not make it to her and that she was constantly being watched by the master of the house.
She just sat there curled up doing her best to hide in her considerable mane and tail looking less like a pegasus and more like a discarded ball of cotton candy. Suddenly a sound echoed down the hall causing her to fold even further in on herself somehow managing to completely hide all of her yellow fur in the seemingly endless mass of pink. The noise kept repeating over and over drawing closer. A steady weighty noise like a giant bare foot slapping against the marble floor.
The noise kept drawing nearer as it seemingly increased in volume the echo causing it to sound like several dozen of the things were heading towards her. She began to whimper. She was nearing outright tears when the noise stopped. Only to be replaced by silence.

While Fluttershy feared whatever sort of beast had been set upon her by the monster her date had become it seemed as though she would at least meet her fate eye to eye. Slowly she used her wing to part her mane and look out with one enormous blue tear filled eye. Needless to say she was shock when instead of finding some terrible giant conjured up designed to eat ponies she found herself face to face with a rabbit.

This was no ordinary rabbit, it was of such a size that she felt that calling it a bunny would be insulting. This rabbit was nearly as big as any of the cutie mark crusaders, and looked to easily outweigh Feather Weight the diminutive colt that went to school with the girls. This rabbit looked to weigh at least one stone and gave an obvious answer to the noise that had approached her it was the sound of it hopping.

The rabbit was an inky black making the pink of its nose and ears stand out more then on her own rabbit Angel. It tail seemed to look more like a fifth foot as it lacked the curly cottony tail Angel and the other local rabbits had. The way it held itself remind Fluttershy of a rather fat noble woman she had seen at Shining Armor and Cadence’s wedding. Unlike that mare this rabbit looked healthier and held itself with more poise having only one extra chin, and the rabbit was clearly not trying to hide the voluminous roll of mass in a dress at least two sizes too small.

Before Fluttershy was a fine example of a Flemish Giant doe. The rabbit gave one last hop before nuzzling the shy mare. This simple act got her to put her hooves under her and stand up.
When she stood up the rabbit backed off and were it had stood before her was now a message.

“How far down the rabbit hole will you follow? To leave the game at any time just say ‘I Quit’ and you shall be brought to Luna’s side. Delirium.”

Fluttershy pondered at the meaning behind the words for a moment before noticing the large rabbit was quickly gaining distance on her. She watched the rabbit near the end of the hall slow to a stop, then consider her followed by the right hand passage. Before sprinting down the hall to join her new lapin friend.

“So that was what you did.” That same ashen mare said.

Several of the guard seemed confused about my actions. With maybe one or two seeming to understand why.

Luna was the first to ask any sort of question concerning what had just transpired. “What sort of depraved magic did you cast on that poor rabbit?”

Much to her surprise and the guards shock I just barked out a laugh.

“Depraved magic? It’s cute that you think everything I do is some evil gesture. I just gave her the same level of intelligence any other animal on this planet seems to have and gave her a simple order.”

One of the guards spoke up a peach earth pony. “Then why is that bunny so big?”

“Big? You think she was big? She barely weighs one stone.”

The guards seemed to flinch back at this. ‘Seems like I finally found a measurement system they use.’ Several guards turned to whisper into their neighbor’s ears.

“Finally, a measurement system you seem to understand. I could understand if you didn’t understand the imperial system if you were using metric, but from what I heard you lot use some of the most random units of measure. When I conquer this place I am definitely introducing a new measurement system. Maybe the metric system with some base ten math.”

They all looked at me like I was mad… well more so.

“Well back to the rabbit. With that breed the record was let me see.” I trailed off for a moment did some quick mental math 1 stone = 14 lbs record is 55 lbs. “Just shy of four stones before it passed.”

They flinched again. one of them blurted out. “That’s bigger than my nephew.”

“I strip you of your powers and armor, state that I intend to conquer your nation, and yet all of you are still shocked by the fact that I am using a rabbit.” I turned to Luna. “How has your nation kept it’s rule for so long?”

Luna brought a hoof to her chin rubbing it with a far away look. Before a small blush seemed to creep across her cheeks before she averted her eyes and seemed to embarrassed to look in my general direction.

In a deadpan voice I ask. “You have no idea do you?”

Her blush increased and she stammered. “Who would dare stand against our magical might.”

Missed The Rabbit Hole

Fluttershy had been following the rabbit for what felt like an hour, granted with the sedate pace the rabbit was content to keep it was quite possible. The slow steady hoping pace never seeming to pick up in speed which seemed to placate the timid mare.
After a series of turns Fluttershy was lost. To make matters worse the rabbit had just made its fifth consecutive right turn.

“Oh, dear we’re not lost are we?” She began to have worried thoughts cross her mind having horrible flashbacks of the first time she meet Discord.

As she sat there pondering her state in the castle the rabbit approached a door and pushed in on one of the panels. It swung in like a mini door and the rabbit disappeared. This whole action seemed to go unnoticed by the butter yellow pegasus that had been following the sable giant.

It wasn't until the small opening in the door slammed shut driving the little mare out of her revery only to realize that her companion had taken a door out of this hallway.

Looking around she silently berated herself for being lost in thought when this happened because there were at least five doors the rabbit could have used while she was lost in her memories.

Back in the throne room all of the guards and Luna had been watching on the screen as for the past ten minutes since the rabbit had left Fluttershy behind. They watched as the mare considered the doors in front of her. They were muttering to themselves mutely muttering trying to guide Fluttershy to the door the rabbit had entered. It was like watching some cross between the price is right and a child bowling. Each mare trying to make Fluttershy move but having no impact.

I just sat there watching them yell at a screen and waiting for my little plot twist to enter the room.

I began conjuring up small amounts of grains, fruits, and vegetables on a large silver platter. Luna saw this and just raised an eyebrow. Two minutes later the door creaks open and in hops the rabbit I had sent to guide Fluttershy. I just watch as the guards all part in shock letting the doe hop right up the dais to the foot of my reshaped throne. Reaching down I grab her and settle her unto my lap and begin feeding her from the platter.

“Good girl. You did your job perfectly.” I cooed feeding her.

I think the guards were shocked to see me babying the large rabbit. Luna on the other hand was eyeballing the spread next to me. I caught all of this and decided to have some fun with it.

“Jealous Luna?” I give her an even look.

She looks flustered look and several of the guards who heard me give me the evil eye.

I set the rabbit down with a carrot and a lettuce leaf. With a cocky grin I pull Luna over and try to settle her across my lap. She looks nervous and angry but I hear her stomach gurgle then she blushes. Relenting she lets me feed her. “Even pride falls before survival huh?”

She nods.

“At least you're wise enough to understand that.” I say scratching her behind her ears. This seems to get a subconscious response from her causing her eyes to close and a contented smile to appear on her muzzle. Further she is trying to put more weight against my hand to make the sensations stronger. “Not many are willing to accept mercy when it is offered.”

The guards were shocked to say the least. Here before them I was treating their princess like either a small foal or maybe a cat. There in front of all of them she had a shameless happy smile and was effectively nuzzling my hand and chest to further indulge in the sensation. At this point I don't think I could have stopped if I wanted.

I gave the guards a second to get used to this and when none of them seemed willing to turn away and watch the screen I decided to take action. I set the fruit Luna had been eating down on the plate and grabbed my cane. “Help yourself to the snack bar but don't try to leave the theater.” I tap the cane and they all disappear in a flash.

I expected Luna to be upset about this but she is lost in her own little world enjoying the comfort and warmth my touch is offering her. ‘If I had known she was this desperate for positive contact I would have taken her not Rainbow Dash. I know the information I had upon my arrival said that she had just spent the last millennium on the moon, but to think she was still this contact deprived. Not the kind of petting I was hoping for but what can you do?.’ I settled back into my sofa throne picked up a strawberry for Luna and turned back to watching the screen.

Rainbow Dash was still running effectively in place. She just had to take a door and she would be out of the trap but no too stubborn to change course. Seeing her tail out behind her made me want to start playing the nyan cat song in the hall to taunt her but she wouldn’t get the joke. So some work out music…. mamma said knock you out, thunderstruck, harder better faster stronger, till I collapse, levels, the distance, remember the name, and eye of the tiger. I’ll add more if she is still running when the playlist ends. I’ll check back on her a little later.

The other four were still outside waiting for some reason. They had moved to the road leading to the front entrance and had settled under one of the fruit trees lining the road. A small pile of peaches and apples in between the four of them. Dawn was an hour or two away meaning Celestia would be arriving soon. She would enter my house through the front door because I had invited her. The look on Twilight’s face when Celestia just walks up the road I can’t wait.

Which just leaves me Fluttershy. I watched as she did some sort of childhood decision making rhyme. Ending on a door with intricate scroll work on it. ‘Huh, not the easy route but one of magic paths. Lets see how she deals with the misdirection and illusions.’ I watched keeping a steady rhythm to my pets on the Lunar alicorn as I watched the embodiment of kindness start to walk through my haunted house. Pulling out the remote I turn down the volume and turn on the subtitles something told me the soft spoken mare was a screamer.

A Kindness of My Own

Fluttershy made her way down a plain looking hallway she had know idea where that rabbit had gotten off to. So she was forced to choose her own path.

“Just keep walking and play attention. Don’t get lost in your own head, that how we lost the rabbit in the first place.” She just kept moving forward as she quietly berated herself.

She kept going down the hallway for ten minutes never passing a door or window, before she reached a dead end. Turning around she began making her way back to the door she had taken intent on exiting and picking another.

It seemed like she made it to the other end of the hall quicker than before again she found a blank wall. Turning in a panic she shot off down the hall hoping she was being tricked some how. Not even two minutes later she was back in front of the dead end again. Turning around she say the other blank wall closer than it had been before she. Started hyperventilating and moaning to herself. “Oh no, oh no, oh no.” Tears forming in her eyes. She began walking a tight circle hoping that one of the walls would move backward and let her pass.

In the theater the guards were furious and scared. It looked like Fluttershy was going to be crushed between the two walls. The guards could only sit there in horror waiting for the Kindest mare in the kingdom to meet an unkind fate. It got worse.
They watched as spikes began to grow from the walls.
Then the screen Fluttershy was on then split. On side showed the horrible scene the poor mare about to be perforated. The other showed her just cowering in the middle of an empty hall over what was obviously a very crude trapdoor. They blinked and words began playing across the bottom of the screen.
‘Screen 1 shows what my magic is making her see. Screen 2 shows what is actually happening in the hall. Think she’ll quit?’

Fluttershy was crying. It had been bad enough when the walls were closing in but now they had spikes. “Why is this happening?” She was trying to curl into her mane again.

Barely over the sound of her crying and trembling she heard a voice.

“Two little words and it all ends.” The voice was just a teasing whisper. “Tell me you quit and it all ends. No more fighting. No dangerous maze. I’ll even bring you Angel to cheer you up.”

In the throne room I watched as my little message seemed to be eating away at the last of her strength. She would either quit here or some other part of the path she had ended up going down would. I made the walls slow down and added a very low grinding noise to the illusion. I had to keep it subtle to little or too much and she could see it for what it is.

The walls slowed down to a crawl and started make a grinding noise. Like he had never tested them extending the walls as far as they would go. The noise some how made it worse. It made Fluttershy feel as though she would be slowly pinned in place like one of those dead butterflies she had seen. Who would have known that the only pony she met with a cutie mark just like hers got it in lepidoptery. She shuddered at both the memory and the image she had of herself pinned between the spikes.

The grinding got a little louder and she watched as the spikes slowly began extending. Going from as long as her hoof to.. “Oh,my!” now some of them were as long as some of her primary feathers. She watched whimpering as the began extending from the top down moving row to row towards the center spikes.

Then the voice came again. Hauntingly, bitterly, sweet was the temptation of its offer. “Just quit. Quit and I will take you from there.”

The voice Fluttershy realized was speaking just like she would to coax a scared or injured animal to her when approaching would drive them away. She knew what the voice was trying to do but the sound of it. That gentle soothing rhythm, the kindness in it that promised shelter, safety, and warmth.

You could all but read the thoughts crossing behind her eyes. ‘Would it be so bad to just quit? What will happen to me if I don’t?’

The guards could hear everything said to the bearer of kindness. They could see the illusion being wrapped around her and hear the honeyed words offered to her as a life line. Several were gnashing their teeth watching and waiting to see what would happen as the mare was slowly being guided to stand directly over the trap door.

From what they could see She was either three steps off center or had a little over a minute before the spikes would reach her and the illusion would fail. Several of the guard had wondered why she had not tried to push against the wall if only out of desperation to see if she could prolong her life by even one more second. Others were amazed at how the poor caregiver could still be on her feet given that even the day guard had to fight to keep their eyes open.

They could all see the inevitable the poor pegasus was running on fumes.

What was shown on the other sections of the screen were better.

Princess Twilight and the remaining bearers still outside had the right idea they were sleeping in shifts, eating the fruits they could get at. They had chosen to make the tactically correct decision to rest and wait for the backup that was due to arrive soon. Given that they had filled a secondary report and a call for backup. With luck they would have the majority of the Equestrian military brought to bear against this den of chaos. They may even be able to bring in both remaining Princesses to help lay siege to the spells binding their magic.

What really shocked the guards especially the few earth ponies in the room was Rainbow Dash. As long as they had been watching the screens for the last few hours she had been running. While Fluttershy had needed some prodding to get started going through the halls, the sky blue mare had been running full tilt presumably from the moment they had heard the announcement that she had entered the game.

They watched as Fluttershy moved one more step towards the inevitable drop as more of the spikes extended slowly boxing her in.

I had been forced to extend the love seat into a full blown sofa when Luna passed out in my lap. When she was awake she was supporting most of her weight on her own, asleep most of that weight had settled on me. It wasn't a lot of weight she was just a bit boney and had nearly impaled me with her horn when she tried to roll over onto her back. I had been tempted to turn her human just to see what would happen, but part of me didn’t think I could restrain myself if a beautiful naked woman was nuzzling my crotch. So the love seat became a full sofa.

I sat there watching. Waiting for Fluttershy to make up her mind. To either surrender or from her perspective die. It was amusing in a very macabre way. Would her honor and pride as a bearer of an element of Harmony force her choice or would her timid nature and self preservation win out in the end?

Fluttershy was slowly backed to the center of the trapdoor. The illusion wrapped around the hall around her blinding her very senses to everything around her. She was really crying now not just tearing up, wracking heaving sobs escaped her chest. What little makeup she had worn to the gala was running down her face.

She knew that she had a choice to make. Death or surrender to the mercy of her foe?

A squealing screeching noise came from above her knocking her from her inner monolog. Looking up she watched in horror as several of the longer spikes began to meet in the middle. The began to slowly slide against each other making and that ear piercingly loud noise. The odd spark shot off from where they met and rubbed against it’s opposite.

She began crying harder seeming to be choking on her own voice but managing to speak just the same. “I just want to go home!” Then she took that last step and centered herself over the trapdoor. The noise the illusion was generating drowning out what would have been a hollow thudding noise. She swallowed her tears. “I’m sorry.” She said to no one in particular.

This was what I was waiting for either she was going to quit or the illusion was going to wash over her and dispel itself. Either way she was going to fall down that trap door. Her response just determined where she would end up. If she quit it would dump her in the throne room. If not she would descend further into the labyrinth I had made to test the kind mare before I had met her.

Some how I didn’t think she would survive mentally if she made it to the end of the path. I doubted she could stand to administer a final mercy to anything. Kindness wasn’t always kind to the giver. I was sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for her to make her choice. She had less than a minute before the decision would be out of her hands? hooves? which ever. I wanted her to quit here if only to do her a kindness.

I watched as she curled in on herself again crying trying to hide away from what would be a rather brutal and gruesome fate from her perspective. She was centered on the trap door, so the fall would go smoothly the look on her face would be priceless. I just had to…

Lines of text began scrolling along the bottom of the screen depicting Fluttershy and her ordeal.

‘I’m sorry. deep breathing. I’m sorry, I quit.’

With those two words I had won.

“Well that's disappointing.” I said. “Well I expected to win in the end just not this easily or quickly.”

Luna stirred when I broke the silence I had been keeping. I watched as she blinked sleepily at me and asked. “Is Tia here when did I doze off?”

She was rather adorable in her sleep befuddled state. As gently as I could I told her. “No your sister isn't here yet.” I tapped my cane stopping the illusion around Fluttershy.

“Then what is it?” She asked in a tone I knew all too well. It said then why did you wake me up?

I tapped my cane again and watched on the screen as the spiked walls disappeared. Fluttershy had just enough time to look around her in confusion before the trap door swung open. The look on her face reminded me so much of that coyote in the Looney Tunes. Standing up from the couch I made my way down the dais. “Nothing much. The element of kindness is mine to keep now.”

She blinked sleepily at this. Then I could see the gears turning behind her eyes as her brain seemed to stall. I slowly began counting down from ten in my head. Then when I reached four. “WHAT?”

With that statement Fluttershy materialized just above me. I threw my arms out and caught her. Once again I marveled at either how light ponies were or how strong my magic had made me. I began walking back up to my seat.

Luna gave me an angry look then asked. “What did you do to her?”
I gave the butter yellow mare a quick once over. While the tear stained trials down her face were a bit larger it took me a second to get what Luna meant.

Fluttershy’s eyes were wide open in terror unfocused and no longer seeing anything around her and I could feel her screaming silently in my arms.

Facts of Reality

In some ways I had been right in others rather wrong. Yes Fluttershy was a screamer, but no it wasn’t loud. Apparently if scare her badly enough she screams, it just wasn’t anywhere near my normal hearing range judging by how the rabbit at the foot of the throne was trying to cover her ears. I rolled my eyes and kicked the ground like I was trying to adjust my shoe. In my arms the mare slumped, her eyes snapped shut, and a faint whispering snore began to emanate from her.

When the hyper sonic screaming ended the rabbit uncovered her ears and gave me a dirty look.

“Sorry about that.” The rabbit regarded me then seemed to shrug off the issue and returned to what she had been doing.

Luna gives me a look then says. “You did not answer our question.”

“Fair enough, after you fell asleep Fluttershy here finally made up her mind about which door to take. She balked at the first challenge.” I just stated the facts of the matter in a rather mundane fashion.

“How?”

I sighed and settled down on the sofa throne putting Fluttershy across my lap. Reaching into my jacket I pulled out the remote for my cameras again. I looked at Luna then patted the space next to me. She grumpily retook her seat and I rewound the footage for about an hour then made the screen depicting the path of kindness larger.

Luna watched in silence as the illusion tricked Fluttershy into quitting. Finally after the trapdoor opened she asked me a question. “What would have happened if she did not quit?”

I gave her a wry smile. “Had she tried slow down either of the walls the glamor would have failed and she could have gone down either path further into the long route or back to the hall to pick a different door. The trapdoor without having quit would have dumped her down a level in my little trial and she would only have the long route available to her.”

Luna seemed off put by this, and gave me a questioning look.

“Oh, don't give me that look.” I began to pet the yellow pegasus in my lap. “She was the only one I decided could have a pass on my little crucible. The path of kindness was anything but.”

Luna asked me another question with her eyes.

“After meeting her I knew she would never be able to pass the trials along that labyrinth. Kindness was one of the few elements I could turn against the barer easily and completely. That is why I sent the rabbit to bring her here without facing the darker nature of kindness.”

That finally got a vocal response from the princess of the night. “Darker nature of kindness? What could you have possibly planned to illustrate such a thing?”

I gave her an evil little chuckle with a predatory smile. “Kindness and generosity share a synonym. Mercy. Are you familiar with the concept of final mercy?”

She nodded and began speaking it seemed without thinking. “An old custom to help another end their suffering or to grant them an escape before they were captured by an enemy….”

She trailed off as her mind caught up with her mouth. The look on her face was one of pure horror as she realized what Fluttershy and or Rarity would face.

“Oh, don't worry Rarity won't be facing that ordeal. No Rarity might face something much worse depending on the path she chooses.”

“Worse?” The look of dread on her face was giving me some level of sadistic pleasure.

“How can Rarity be generous if it causes the being she gives to, to be harmed or die?”

She gives me a look of disgust. “Why, would you do such a thing?”

“Do you even know the purpose of the Elements of Harmony? Why it would trap a being like me in stone temporarily? Why you were cleansed of your insanity?”

She nodded. “They bring the subject exposed to them to harmony.”

“And another word for harmony is balance.” She gives me an odd look but I just go on. “By their nature the elements are neither good nor evil.”

The look on her face was confused. “What do you mean? We used them to overthrow Discord.”

“When he revealed in his power embracing insanity and anarchy. Chaos is not random acts of petty destruction or bending the world to your whims.”

This really seemed to catch her flat footed clearly not expecting me to have a different opinion about my station then my predecessor. “It’s not?”

“Are you really as old as your sister claims, because this is basic knowledge amongst my race’s youth.”
She blushes embarrassed from the look on her face.

I shook my head and answered her question. “Chaos by it nature is just as good as light, darkness, or law. It embodies probability, freedom, creativity, and change. As well as insanity, and anarchy. Just as law can embody reason, logic, and perfection; it must also empower oppression and conformity.”

Luna seems a bit shocked at what I said.

“And therein lies the reason for your corruption. You and your sister already are the avatars of light and darkness respectively adding to your roles by taking on law was foolish.”

She was speechless I watched as the pieces seemed to click in her mind. “So you’re saying that...”

I cut her off. “It was inevitable that one of you would seek to cast your influence over those you governed in such a way. Had one of you attempted to take up the mantle of chaos instead of sharing law..” I shrugged and let her ponder that line of thought.

“But back to the elements, they were never intended to be a force for good. It is in their nature to bring the subject to equilibrium. I mean didn’t either of you ever wonder why you found the elements on a tree? Nature outside of the influence of your little ponies is a perfect balance of the physical and metaphysical elements that make up all things.”

“How do you know of the tree? If what you say about replacing Discord is true how did you even learn of its existence.”

I had to hide a wince. I had let my tongue slip.

“Fair enough question. Either Discord or some force that selected me to be the new avatar of chaos left me some rather detailed dossiers concerning the elements, their current bearers, this world, and the alicorns.”

Luna looked nervous. “How detailed?”

I looked Luna up and down. “Concerning you and your sister well...” I smiled, leaned in, and whispered one word in her ear.

“”HOwCoUldThoukNoWsUCHathinG.” Luna spoke in a rush that would have made Pinkie proud. A deep blush was creeping down her neck to her wings.

‘Well if that one was correct I kind of want to see if I can lure Celestia with cake.’ As soon as I said it an image flashed across my mind. My throne turned into a deep sea fighting chair. Myself strapped in my cane turned into a fishing rod and reel wearing some bizarre cross between a pastry chefs hat and a fishing cap. Opening a tackle box that looked more like a bakery box to pick a cake to cast into the courtyard. I broke out laughing.
Luna gave me a confused look at my sudden outburst of laughter. I just tapped my cane and projected my thoughts onto the screen.

The scene played out. For her the illusionary me picking a cake that looked like it should have been at a wedding reception and tieing it to the line. Casting the cake out into the world. It landing on a bank of clouds around Canterlot.

She turned to me. “What did you find so humorous about this delusion?”

“Wait for it.”

She turned back to the screen in time to see a white horn start parting the clouds and start baring down on the confectionery delight. The horn disappeared. Then a minute later Celestia broke cover darting up from below the cake breaching the surface like a great white shark and the cake was some seal.

We watched as the battle began between Celestia and the me with the fishing rod. Celestia had latched on with her magic and was furiously pulling the cake back towards her throne room. The fight went on as slowly but surely the me on the screen drew her back into my manor. The little movie ended with me posing in front of front of Celestia tied to a fish rack by her rear hooves like in those old fishing photos contentedly munching of a slice of cake.

Luna broke out laughing harder than I had. Tears streaming down her face she rolled off the sofa and began pounding one of her hooves on the floor as she kept laughing.

I let her laugh herself out. I think she really needed that after what I had told her and it was a good sign that she could laugh like that.

The Game Moves On

The sounds Luna was making in her fit of laughter woke up Fluttershy, I could only watch as she lifted her head and blinked owlishly at the pair of us. She blinked once then barely on the edge of my hearing she says. “Thats just silly, definitely a dream.”

I can only watch with amused grin as she tried to roll over only to land on the floor. Her muted eep of shock was lost to Luna’s continued laughter. With my own muted amusment I watched as the shock of hitting the floor woke her up completely.

Luna finally stopped laughing when Fluttershy hit the floor. I watched as Luna cantered up to the small pegasus and began speaking to her in a gentle voice.

I just watched a small smile playing across my lips. ‘One down, five to go.’ With that thought I ended my red queen trap on Rainbow Dash. Watching the screen I witnessed her fail to realise the end of the loop and got to watch her run head long into the wall.

With a cat like grin I settled back upon my throne to watch. My former prisoner now had a choice left or right. Either path would take her to my in the long run but the path of loyalty had this fork. Which path would she pick? Honor or Betrayal?

Rainbow Dash sat on her haunches panting heavily. She had been running for hours and felt every minute of it. This made the rather large lump growing on her head feel all the worse as every beat of her heart made the knot pulse and throb.

Looking up she took a good look at the wall she hit. More importantly the grand tapestry that was just above the level of her head.

It depicted several beings like her captor. Each either glaring at another being, attacking another, or some starting down various paths leading into the distance. It was an inspiring and terrifying piece of art.

The far left walked a man. The coverings upon his feet were battered, scuffed and worn. He was dressed in faded clothes. A old and battered hat covered his head, and upon his hips slung in great belts with gleaming bronze striping the middle were two objects she could not begin to name. Before him fled another man clad in black. They stroded upon a long and winding path with several doors upon it. The twisting path leading to a great dark stone tower standing like a sentinel in a field of roses.

Further to the middle two walked side by side. Both with blue hair their backs to the viewers perspective. One wore a high collared red cape and carried his sword like it was a yoke Slung over his shoulders his bandage wrapped wrists laying over the top. The other wore a greatcoat of navy and scarlet walking with a staff with a drill at its head. Upon both of their backs was a immense skull seemingly made of flames wearing black sunglasses. Before them in the distance stood a great and terrible figure wearing red, yellow, and black armor wreathed in glowing green flames, but bearing a white standard with that same skull motif in red and black.

The next image to capture her attention was the figures of three beings. One was clearly female and of a beauty that was clearly not mortal. She wore a loose covering of semitransparent material covering her chest and hips and where it hung from her body it seemed to flow like water. Before her knelt a man in gleaming armor. His crowned head bowed not in subjugation but in awe and respect clearly receiving the sword in his upraised palms. Upon his back a kite shield bearing the image of a red dragon bound in chains. Beside him an old man leaned upon a gnarled staff. Upon his back a mantle of black glossy feathers making his wild white beard and hair stand out all the more starkly.

The middle was dominated by the scene of a black knight in wolf like armor with bloody tears falling from his only eye with a look of utter grief and rage fought with a sword larger than himself against a bird like white knight with a haughty expression before a field of swords, blood, and fallen bodies behind the black knight humans. Behind the white terrible beasts and shadowy horrors.

The next image was different no where near as terrible but just as evoking. Standing before a dark army was a man cloaked and bathed in green. His outfit was green from his boots to his great cape. Behind him casting most of his visage in shadow was a great glowing green pool with what appeared to be a coffin hung by chains above it. While most of his face was lost to shadow she could see parts his hair was black on top but a stark bone white starting at his temples and circling around his head. His eyes and smile where wolf like.

Immediately to the right was a pink and white animal that appeared harmless. It had large hanging ears and before its tiny paws a scroll. What made the creature look disturbing was what lay before it and behind it. Behind the cat like animal was an enormous shadow with cruel eyes and a malicious smirk. Before it writing upon the scroll in what looked like blood were several female forms all in different colors all clearly young and all clearly broken in various ways.

The final being depicted upon the woven cloth was a being with one black wing and long silver tresses. In his right hand a sword longer than he was tall, thin and with one gently curving edge. His left hand was closed around something that seemed to glow black with a light that shone like oil. He was clad in black. Black boots, black pants, and a black armored trenchcoat. His head thrown back in laughter his long silver hair blowing in the wind as he watched a small village burn. In the sky above him a burning meteor was falling from the heavens.

Below in bronze was an epitaph laid into the dark stone.
“A choice lies before thee,
Fidelity, or betrayal,
To honor one's oath or to abandon the path?
Pick carefully for this decision can never be remade.”
She had come to the end of the hall. She could only go either to her left or right.

I snapped out of my daze when I heard something. Turn my head to regard the pair off to the side. “I’m sorry. One more time please?”

Fluttershy swallowed. Before raising her voice. “What was that tapestry?”

“It depicts the struggle of fidelity. Each picture shows a different type of loyalty.”

Luna seemed to ponder this for a moment.

I let her unlike my former conversation partner in Rainbow Dash, Luna had proven to be an exceptional conversationalist.

Finally she asked. “What methods of loyalty?”

I gave her a smile it made Fluttershy shiver with how cold it was. On my face was a very predatory smirk. Something you would see on a cat playing with a mouse.

“Loyalty to: Restoration, Freedom, Sovereignty, Comradery, Home, Preservation, and Militarism.”

“How could being loyal to your friends be a bad thing?” Just what I expected for one of Twilight’s little friends.

“It depends what you do with those friends.”

Luna seemed to go a little pale she seemed to get it, but the little pegasus who cannot seem to see the darkness at night had ask. “Do with them?”

I pointed to the middle image and asked. “Tell me which one is the hero and which is the villain?”

“I don't know. What is their story?”

“The one in black is named Guts. Once upon a time in his story he was one of the fiercest swordsmen in Griffith the White Hawk’s mercenary band. He would become Griffith’s right hand and during the tail end of a century long war they would gain much: fame, money, and most importantly legitimacy. They would become a proper army under the king and Griffith became the commanding general and Guts his field lieutenant. Had the war last another year or two his ultimate goal could have been reached he could have asked for the princess’s hand in marriage and become king.”

Luna stopped my story there with one sentence. “Griffith betrayed them didn’t he?”

“I was turning raconteur wasn’t I? My apologies. Yes, he did. He traded their friendship and devoted loyalty to him for power. He sold their souls and became a dark god. Of the hundreds that followed him only three survived in you could call it surviving. One survived by chance, a young squire sent out of the camp to fetch water. The other two his sword and shield should have died. One tortured and brutalized until their mind fled. The other Guts fought his way to save the other cutting off his own arm and losing an eye to save the other.”

Fluttershy shuddered and I just on to finish the story as far as I knew it.

“The two who were there at the camp had been branded as sacrifices and so became living borders between the worlds living and dead. Mundane and mystical. Never to know peace even in death.” I tapped a finger on my chin. “I never did get the chance to read the end of that story.”

Fluttershy had begun to tear up, seemingly unable to stand such a tale. ‘Wonder how she’ll handle my library?’

Luna I think was trying to bunt to a happier note. “Sovereignty?”

“Arthur Pendragon, son of Uther, the once and future king. Leader of the knights of the round table. Counseled by the wizard Myrddin Emrys. Blessed with the sword Excalibur by Nimue, the lady of the lake.”

Fluttershy seemed to brighten, Luna smiled, and I just kicked them back to the ground.

“Betrayed by his greatest champion Sir Lancelot du Lac by his affair with his wife Queen consort Guinevere. Finally he was slain by his illegitimate son Mordred upon Arthur’s own ceremonial sword.”

And down went the mood. They looked like they wanted to ask about another image so I just cut them off.

“As much as I am enjoying summarizing some of my favorite cultural works for the two of you and watching your emotional raises and falls. I feel, I should tell you my people’s stories focused mostly on tragedies. Epic betrayals and cruel twists of fate, and I have all of these stories in one form or another in my library.”

The silence that followed that statement was oppressive. It seemed to hang between us like some immense curtain. Before Luna finally broke it.

“Why would any culture focus upon such dark and terrible themes?”

I paused to ponder my response before giving her what I felt was an acceptable response. “When the world around you seems dark, seeing a deeper shadow can make you notice the light. Seeing how much you could lose makes you appreciate what you already have. Perspective is key to all understanding.”

They both seemed rather shocked to hear a cohesive and eloquent counter argument to what I expected to be a rather lengthy verbal duel. I took the chance to look for a way to break the tension. I decided to check the time. ‘Celestia is in the closet. So it’s morning now.’

I turn to the pair of mares and ask. “Breakfast?”

They could only nod so I lead them out of my throne room and towards the dining hall.

Author's Note

Yeah work has been a bitch. The place I'm working at is getting shutdown after the trail production run so back to the job hunt.

A Man Falls

I woke up in a dark forest just outside of a ruined castle in a great deal of pain. I can feel that I landed on a suitcase grateful that it was only using a small carry-on bag had I landed on and not anything larger or I might have broken my back. The pain going through my left leg draws me back from the musings running through my mind. Looking down I, notice that my foot is not supposed point in that direction. Looking around I try to find things to bind and set my leg. I found several branches on the ground around within arm’s reach. I drag myself and three thick branches through the doors towards the back wall covered in vines.

When I reach the back wall, I pulled down the ends of three vines. “This is going to hurt” I say as I proceed to bind my left ankle with the vines to the wall.

I take off my belt and put it in my mouth biting down I pull my weight back and roll my hips. I scream through my belts as my jaws clamp down on it. As I calmed down, I feel a tingling almost prickling feeling run down my leg. It feels like my bones themselves are heating up. I hear a rumbling popping sound and when it ends, I notice that my leg no longer hurts. I try to stand up and find that my leg had completely healed. I could put my full weight on it with no discomfort. Huh apparently coming here has changed some things a spiraling fracture like that should have take months to heal not seconds. Grinning I go out to see what survived my arrival.

Outside I find the bag I landed on before I could unzip it I notice a scroll on top of the suitcase. Picking it up I notice, it has a very odd wax seal. The seal looked like a very stylized infinity symbol only this one was not set to any sort of level in fact the symbol seemed to wiggle back and forth never settling. Another thing that seemed off was that the twisted loop that normally makes up the horizontal eight of infinity seemed to be made up of random shapes and letters. Shrugging I ran a finger under the seal to break it and open the scroll then the weirdest thing yet happens. The dam scroll crumbles and the seal unfolds. Looking down at the now page sized piece of wax the infinity symbol started moving to the top right corner leaving behind a trail of words as it twisted in to a new shape.

It was a shape you had only seen in old role-playing game books. It was called a chaos star. Suddenly the note started reading itself aloud.

“To whatever poor sap that got dragged in to replace me,” Well that does not sound good.

“My name is Discord and Congratulations you are now this realms god of chaos. After several millennium doing the whole chaotic thing, I got forced in to retirement. Therefore, here is my gift to you infinite cosmic power with only one major risk to your chance at ruling. The elements of harmony, I know dumb name but those magical amplifiers have been nothing but a hassle to me for years. Therefore, to give you an edge before they even know we switched roles some helpful facts.”

Thoughts ran through my head as the letter paused as this Discord seemed to take a breath. ‘What did he mean god of chaos? Why was he forced to give up that kind of power? Finally magic, this world had real magic?’ This line of thought was interrupted by the letter starting up again.

“First the names of the elements: kindness, laughter, generosity, loyalty, honesty, and magic. Second and third: the elements require that they be used as a set and need to be in tune with their wielder. Fourth, the current wielders are a group of six young mares that you will find living in the town just about half a day’s travel on foot to the west of your current location. Their names in order of the element they hold as previously listed are Fluttershy, Pinkamena Diane Pie aka Pinky Pie, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Twilight Sparkle. All of which have a near fanatic devotion to their precious princesses Celestia and Luna. Finally fifth you will find in the bag in front of you a basic primer on your new powers as well as a map and a hand full of folders on ponies you may find to be obstacles.” The letter stops again briefly and again more random thoughts shot through your mind.

‘Why did he use horse terms? What the hell is up with names here? Who would name a weapon capable of stopping a god the elements of harmony?’

The letter starts back up. “Enjoy your new life. Signed Discord. ….. P.S. this letter will now turn into pigeons, which will then self-destruct.”

Sure enough twenty fat gray pigeons suddenly took off from your hand flew into the air and exploded into a light show the equal of any Fourth of July fireworks show you had seen growing up. When the last one burst in a bright flare of red light I felt a searing pain flash across my right shoulder and disappear so quickly I thought I imagined it.

I froze for a second listening to the forest around me. Hearing nothing, I roll up the sleeve of my tee shirt and see that I suddenly had a tattoo. In shiny black ink there was the chaos star. Like the seal on the letter but with eight small differences at the end of each of the arrows was a symbol. Unlike the rest of your tattoo, these were in vivid color but not clearly defined. Sense you had no idea what they were let alone what they meant you let your sleeve fall and proceeded to open up the bag.

Inside the bag true to his word was a book titled “So you woke up in a forest and now you’re the god of chaos”, a large and ornate cane, and a stack of folders. You reach down, lift the book feeling the leather it was bound in, and open the book to the first page.

Sudden Inspiration

My clone walks into town with a slow and deliberate pace away from the train station. To any observer he appears to be just another pony walking into town. First step try to avoid Pinkamina a town wide party is not low profile. I keep walking into town heading in towards the center. The library is not hard to spot given that it is the only giant tree in town. Keeping an easy pace, the puppet makes it to the library and I look at the sign through his eyes.

The sign says the library closes to the public at sundown giving me at least an hour and a half to scope out my target and learn what I can. I have him walk right up to the door and enter.

Walking into the library, I can see and hear no one. I’m half-tempted to use the clone to just take an element, but broad daylight makes for poor burglary. Therefore, I walk over to a shelf near a workstation and pick an old thick tome on magic I have to focus for a second to levitate the book onto the table. It settles with a weighty thump. ‘God hands do make everything easier. I will never take my thumbs for granted again.’

I start reading the book only taking in enough of the material to know what each page is discussing as I listen to what’s around me. I hear voices coming from another room as I keep scanning the immense volume in front of me.

I get to a section on healing. Reading it I realize how limited their view on reality is. ‘They don’t even realize the duality and risks associated with this kind of magic.’ I keep reading getting drawn into the book more then I intended when someone coughs behind me.

I don’t look up from the book. I just make the clone swivel an ear around to whomever is behind me and ask. “Yes?”

A decidedly female voice asks me. “Who are you? And who let you in?”

I turn around and look at who is talking at me. I take a few details in. ‘Purple, wings, and a horn. Good it’s Twilight.’ “This a public library correct, the sign out front wasn’t a lie?”

She nods affirming my statement.

I continue. “Then why would I need to be let into a public building my tax bits went to fund.”

She raises a hoof as if she is about to launch into some tirade, then she blushes and the hoof drops. ‘Seems like the file was right she treats the library like it was her house. Let’s just do what I came here for.’

I keep pretending to read. She keeps pacing behind me. This goes on for the better part of an hour. Nothing else in the book caught my interest, I was about to close it and leave when on the top of the page I had turned to read Musical Compulsions. ‘This has promise.’

The seemingly random songs that ponies are known to break into during times of high emotion is well documented. While no one knows how this odd magical influence came to be, several significant scholars over the years have found ways to force this condition to occur, in both groups and in selected individuals.

1. High stress situations
2. Group synchronized thought
3. Sudden spikes of magic introduced along with either lyrics or melody
a. This method is tricky to bring into full effect. If the being invoking the song attempts to cover to large an area or does not feed enough magic into the formula an incomplete event happens. In the year 969 CR one failed attempt was documented, in which the entire city of Baltimare ended up humming a song for a week instead of singing it once.

‘Interesting I might have some fun with that tomorrow. I want to find out if I can use human music. Maybe I can make Spike duet with Rarity and have them sing She has a Girlfriend Now. ’

I closed the book and returned it to the shelf. The whole time Twilight seemed to be nervously watching me. ‘Does no one ever use the library?’ I walk out the door and right after the door closes I hear Twilight let out a breath. ‘Guess that’s a no on anyone using the stacks.’

I was half way to the station when I heard a gasp from behind me. Turning around I saw two mares exiting a building a quick glance up showed me that it was a spa. ‘Out of the frying pan and into the fire. Damn it I was expecting Twilight and maybe Pinkamina but not these two.’ Rarity was advancing on my clone while Fluttershy seemed content to stay behind and try to hide in her mane.

“My, my, my. What a delightful ensemble. Dark, sleek, and simple. Not a color clashing and pinstripes anypony can see you pull this outfit off.” She paused for a moment considering. “Why I have to reconsider my stallion’s line for the fall quarter.” She kept circling me eyeing the clone with obvious interest if not lust. ‘She looks like me eyeing a steak.’

‘The question is, is she giving the look at the outfit or to the clone. Run with it nothing wrong with playing the game.’ I began to move mirroring her own circle. I gave her a level look taking in each detail. I slowly begin to speak. “Snow white coat, excellent poise, well groomed mane and tail, and an eye for fashion. If my guess is not very much off the mark you must be Ms. Rarity.”

She blushed at my break down and assumption.

“I will take that as a yes, and who would not recognize Ms. Fluttershy. Your work as a model was lovely even if I tend find Photo Finsh’s work to be overdone.” ‘Thank you background checks.’

Rarity seemed upset by my remark. “What do you mean over done?”

I give Fluttershy a smile to which I get an eep, and a blush. “She tends to have too much going on in her shots. Most of her photographs are of fashion not an action scene.”

She seemed to ponder this and I approached Fluttershy. “Is it presumptuous of me to think that you will be at the gala?”

It was cute how flustered she got. “Yes! I mean no. Umm… I will be there yes.”

With a smile, I used magic to hand her a card and asked. “Save me a dance?” This caused her to blush and I decided discretion was the better part of valor and made it look like the clone teleported away by dissolving him in a bright chrome flash.

-----Perspective Rarity------

Turning to Fluttershy I asked pouting. “What did he say to you darling? I couldn’t hear.”

“He asked if I will be going to the gala, hoofed me a card, and asked to save him a dance.” She blushed rather deeply.

“Oh my, how bold. Well spoken, well dressed, and going to the gala. Fluttershy my dear you should see what we can find out about him. Stallions like that don’t appear every day. He’s yours he just doesn’t know it yet.”

“I don’t know. He did seem nice but I’m not sure. His card doesn’t have a name on it. Just his cutie mark.” She hoofs me the card. Sure enough, it was a plain white card with a black border, and in the center in what appeared to be silver leaf was a triskele.

“Maybe he is like Fleur de lys. You know somepony whose name and cutie mark are the same.”

Fluttershy’s hoof came to her chin as she considered what Rarity said.

Rarity just continued. “Darling you have to at least see if he really shows up to the gala. This calls for a new dress.” With that, she picked Fluttershy up with her telekinesis and ran to her shop.

Celestia Comes Out of the Closet

Author's Note

Yeah, my real life is being a bitch to me so I am slowing down my publish rate. It was either go to once a month or put the story on hiatus until things evened out again.

Later,
Bookish Devil

Celestia Comes Out of the Closet

Celestia was bored. There was only so long you can entertain yourself with a mop, a fez, and a scarf. While she was sure Delirium had been lying about having to stay in the closet for an hour; she had felt it was prudent to wait for her mind and body to resynchronize with the world around her. Her body thought it was the middle of the night, her mind thought it was early evening, and she was getting a feeling from the world around her it was almost time to raise the sun.

So she sat in the closet waiting for either somepony to find her or for her internal clocks to make up their mind. ‘This is why I use a chariot whenever I travel’ She mused, ‘Teleporting over distances always messes with my sense of time.’

Time crept slowly by as she waited. Random thoughts crossing her mind. On one hoof it was nice. She rarely got anytime alone, she always had at least two guards and a whiny noble near by. She began thinking about how this was better than being in court.

No nobles trying to back stab each other. No tax reform legislation. No Blueblood. No stick up their plot majordomo telling her she cannot have cake with every meal. No dealing with foreign diplomats. No Blueblood. No sitting on a throne for eight hours. No idiotic requests that should have never gotten to her. No Blueblood. No Blueblood.

The only downsides she could think of from her daily life was a lack of cake, tea, and guards doing exercises to watch. “Should have just taken that offer for tea. Loony as Discord was he always had good desserts.”

Celestia drifted off into daydreams of cake, pie, cookies, and other such tea treats when voices interrupted her. From the sound of things it was a maid and either a guard or a butler.

“Stop it! we’ll get caught.” A near breathless but happy voice admonished.

“Feather Duster come on how often is the palace this clean and this devoid of nobles? Nopony will notice if we disappear for a half hour.” The clearly male voice seemed to be winning as his voice seemed to get heady and happier as they approached the occupied storage cupboard. “And after what happened last night, I think we both need to do something to make us feel alive and safe.”

“Oh, all right but if we get caught you’re taking the blame.” The mare Feather Duster giggled.

Celestia heard the sound of the couple begin to kiss as they came closer to the door. She watched as the knob flickered green tried to turn then cut out. She heard a slightly muffled growl and could very well picture what was happening. One of them was trying to open the door but was too distracted by their partner to focus properly.

With a mischievous little smile appearing on her muzzle Celestia opened the door.
The look on the brown unicorn stallion’s face was priceless. Abject horror combined with chagrin, and with just a dash of embarrassment. His face. Oh, it was perfect wide eyes, shaking legs, and the poor guy was at half mast.

The white pegasus mare had her back to the door thus leaving her blissfully unaware of the diarch of the day. “What’s wrong?”

The stallion was frozen in place. Then his horn glowed and the door tried to close. Celestia just held it open watching as the mare finally broke off trying to keep the kiss going and noticed the look on the stallions face.

“What is it?” she asked him.

As charismatic as the stallion had been in convincing her to hide out for a bit and have some fun; his words failed him. Stuttering he began trying to talk through his terror. “It’s… It’s…. It’s… It’s.”

“It’s what?” The maid began to question, obviously angry that after everything he had done to convince her to do this that he frozen at the end.

The stallion wisely stopped trying to talk and just pointed a hoof behind the maid at the closet he had been trying to get into.

Rolling her eyes she turned to look over her shoulder only to come face to face with the princess of the sun. She blinked once as if trying to dispel a hallucination. When she opened her eyes again and Celestia was still there wearing an almost obscenely long multicolored knit scarf, fez jauntily tilted upon her head, and the mob was leaning against her side pinned under a wing.

Oh the look on her face was better than the unicorn butler's had been.

Her ears shot back and flattened themselves to her skull. Her eyes opened so wide it looked like they could have fallen out of their sockets and her pupils shrank to pinpricks. Finally her jaw dropped and her tail did a complete 180; going from half raised in excitement to tucked so far under her in fear that it looked like she grew a beard.

Celestia cleared her throat and asked in a perfectly conversational tone as if she had found them bringing her her morning tea instead of sneaking off to copulate in the closet. “Do either of you have the time?”

Neither of them spoke but the butler’s horn glowed and a pocket watch floated out of his uniform coat and between them. With a smile Celestia took the watch opened checked the time.

She tutted, snapping the watch closed she floated it back into the butler’s pocket. With a sigh she continued. “Fifteen minutes late to raise the sun. Oh, well carry on you two.” She winked at them and walked away from the closet leaving behind the mop.

She was just starting up the stairs when she heard the stallion recover and say. “You heard her come on in to the closet.”

She could only shake her head and grin with a knowing grin as she muttered. “Males.” Under her breath.