[Classic] The Scootaloo Diaries

Heh heh, Scootaloo learning a lesson... I wonder if that's possible. Rainbow laughed to herself as she prepared to begin reading. "How long do you think you'll be?" she asked Twilight, looking over and hoping for an estimate as to how long she had before she'd have to stop reading.

"I think the question is, how long do you think you'll be?" Twilight smiled and winked before going back to her project.

Rainbow detected herself blushing and quickly washed it away. "Right, well I'll just be over here, so let me know when you're almost done."

Twilight nodded and didn't reply, so Dash went back to the entry, eager to begin reading.

Last night was awesome! I think Cheerilee and I both really needed that. My wing was kind of buggy though, it hurt a bit while I was in some pretty awkward positions, but that's alright. First thing this morning, I jumped out of bed before Cheerilee woke up and grabbed myself a couple apples. I felt unusually sure of myself and figured now would be the time to go talk to Silver Spoon.

I trotted outside and started down that long road to her house. It was still pretty early in the morning and I hadn't realized that until now. I wondered if she'd be awake yet. As I continued down the path I began to doubt myself. I kept imagining her sleeping the way she does. All tucked in with that cute little smile, quietly breathing through her nose. All that confidence in my decision was completely gone by the time I reached her door. I was hopeless.

I didn't even want to break it off anymore, and it was killing me. I knew I had to, but I just didn't know what to do or say. I raised my hoof to knock and just held it there for a few minutes. I took a deep breath and turned away. I didn't know where I was going or why, I just knew that I had to leave.

I found myself back at my old house and took a minute to dig for a while. Most of the stuff was more neatly piled up than I remembered and a lot of the lumber seemed to have been moved. I guess they're cleaning the area up now or something. It didn't take long to start to depress me, so I decided to leave, still not sure what to do or where to go. I trotted away, and after a minute, I figured I could go see how Applebloom and Sweetie Belle were doing. I'm not sure why, but I just didn't feel like going back home yet. Or rather, back to Cheerilee's home.

Anyway, I made my way to the Acres. It was getting later in the morning so I guessed Applebloom would be up by now. As I made my way down the old dirt trail, I heard Sweetie Belle's voice. She was singing.

...

The day my loneliness died, was when you let me inside

And I said I loved you, its true

I really do love you, Applebloom

I really do love you~

"Sweetie Belle, that was amazing!" I knew she was talented, but I'd never heard her sing quite like that before. As cheesy as it was, it was pretty nice.

She blushed and looked down. "Oh! Scootaloo, I didn't realize you were listening."

"I'm glad I was, it was really nice. I just wish I got to hear the whole thing." I didn't really know what to say, and Applebloom was still quiet. I could tell she was much more moved by the song than I was for obvious reasons.

She stood there with a faint smile and wide eyes. I'll admit it - she was really cute, but that was beside the point. "So yeah, I just came to see how you two were doing, and you seem to be getting along nicely."

I'll also have to admit I did feel a little jealous. I wished Cheerilee would sing to me like that. Then again, I also wished Cheerilee wouldn't beat up my friends and get drunk all the time, but hay - we all have our kinks, right?

Applebloom finally spoke up, leaning over and tightly hugging Sweetie Belle. "We couldn't be happier, ain't that right?" She grinned and kissed her marefriend on the cheek.

"It's true, we couldn't be happier." She smiled and looked me in the eye. I got the feeling she was trying to thank me at that point, but I wasn't about to say anything. I felt more envious of those two than ever. I wanted to just be happy for them, but it was hard.

"I'm glad you guys are happy. Hopefully we can all hang out together more soon." I wasn't sure what we'd do anymore.

Applebloom looked at me strangely. I wasn't sure what she was thinking. "Yeah, we should. Oh, and I'm glad to see ya outta the hospital - how's that wing feelin' anyhow?"

"It's alright as long as I don't stretch it too much." I'm not sure why, but at that moment I stupidly decided to demonstrate stretching my wing too much and hurt myself. "Ow..."

"Careful, you. Well, I hope you feel better soon. Anyway, do you wanna hang out with us now? We were about to write a play!" Sweetie Belle looked over to Applebloom with a wide grin. Then they both shouted in unison, "Cutie Mark Crusaders Play Writers!"

I didn't really want to, so I figured it was time to make my escape. "Actually guys, I have to head back now. See ya later." I gave them each a hug and headed off. Suddenly I felt like going back home again.

On my way, I realized I still needed to talk to Silver Spoon, but I knew it wasn't going to be easy. I went back to her house and forced myself to knock on her door. She answered pretty quickly and looked surprised to see me.

"Oh, hi Scootaloo! What's up?" She seemed to be calm and cheerful, but I knew this was going to be really hard, so I stayed outside, ready to run.

"Look, Silver Spoon, I'm really sorry but - I have to break it off with you..." I looked down. I knew what was coming and I knew I couldn't take it.

"You're breaking it off? What are you talking about Scoot?" I had no idea what to say. I had tried to prepare for this but I still couldn't.

I should have tried harder.

"Yeah Silver, I'm so sorry. I don't know what else to say." I knew that wasn't enough, but I was about to lose it. Every word inched me towards the edge of a breakdown, and I couldn't do that in front of her.

She just stood there and stared at me, likely in disbelief. I looked into her teary eyes and felt myself beginning to crack, I didn't really want to go through with it anymore. I just spoke without thinking, like I always do...

"Ha, I'm just kidding. You should have seen the look on your face! You're too easy Silver." I cringed and felt my eye twitching.

"Scootaloo! That's not funny... Ugh, what's wrong with you?!" Silver trotted back inside, leaving the door open.

She rounded the corner and headed upstairs. I groaned and started smashing my face into the side of the house. Why am I so stupid? I'll probably never know...

I followed her inside and shut the door behind myself, rubbing my nose as I trotted upstairs. She was laying on her bed with a quill in her mouth, writing something down. I climbed onto the bed next to her and tried to put my hoof on her shoulder but she smacked it away. "No, I'm mad at you."

She stared at her page and I put on a sad face. I saw her glance up at me and quickly look back down at her paper. She started blushing and smiling. When she looked back up at me I was still making the same face. "Stop it... That's not fair..."

A second later she pulled me over on top of her and kissed me. Why do I love this mare so much? When I'm not with her, I feel like I'd be able to leave her, but during moments like these I can't imagine losing her. I'm still not sure what to do - I need to help Cheerilee, but I can't leave Silver Spoon. I just don't have it in me. Maybe things will work themselves out once Diamond Tiara gets back home in a couple days. I guess I should have written this next part down first.

"So what are we gonna do when Diamond gets back home?" I think this was the first time I had actually wished the other filly would stay away forever.

"Who cares? What difference does it make if she's here or not? It's just you and me now. Sure I had a thing with Diamond, but I'm in love now. You know, I never once told her I loved her. But with you, it feels right. She'll get over me, and I won't let anything come between us." She was tearing me apart from the inside out. I wished I could tell her the same thing she just told me, but I couldn't.

I don't deserve this from her. I know I'm the worst kind of pony, but I don't know how to get out of this. The worst part is that I don't even want to get out - I love these feelings and I love being with her. It's just... I wish the world didn't work the way it did. I wish I could stay with both Silver Spoon and Cheerilee and not hurt either of them. That's definitely asking for way too much.

"I'm glad you feel that way Silver Spoon. I wasn't ready to have to say goodbye." I didn't know what I was saying, but I said it. Like an idiot.

"Then don't. You'll never have to. And I'd never let you anyway." She smiled and pulled my face down into her shoulder. She'd never let me... I could hardly bring myself to do it in the first place, and with her trying to stop me, I'd never tell her no.

Since the day that I met her, I'd never really been able to tell her no. I'd never wanted to - as long as she's happy, I'm happy. I can't explain it, that's just the way I feel when I'm with her.

So anyway, I decided to change the subject. "So what are you writing anyway?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to write a song." She grabbed the quill and started writing again.

I desperately wanted to see it for some reason. "Ooh, let me see!" I tried to look but she hid it immediately.

"Nope, you can see it when it's done." She closed the notebook and placed it on her nightstand. For a moment I considered taking it, but then she distracted me with another kiss.

I still wish I knew what she wrote. I hope it's a love song for me like the one Sweetie Belle wrote for Applebloom, I'd really like that a lot. I'm not good at this whole thing. I'm actually terrible I think. Life, love, relationships, friends, I just keep messing everything up and pushing myself into a deeper mess.

"I love you Silver Spoon. I'm sorry about, you know... earlier." There was a pit in the bottom of my stomach after I said that. I wanted to leave after I told her I loved her.

"Mm, I love you too Scoot. And don't mention it - you actually really had me going for a second there." She giggled and let out a deep breath.

Even now I can still feel her on me. Her scent and her warmth are still here, trapped in my mind. Even as I'm about to crawl into bed with Cheerilee, she'll be on my mind. I can't leave her. Even when I wanted to I couldn't, and now more than ever I want to be with her forever. But that doesn't mean I don't want to be with Cheerilee too. If I really had to choose, I think I'd choose Cheerilee. Not because I love her more than I love Silver Spoon, but because I think she needs me more. I can't leave her alone right now - she's so close to the edge and she's slipping. If I leave, I might as well be pushing her into a mental breakdown.

I guess sometimes you just have to try and let things work themselves out on their own. I can't change the way things are going myself, so I'll just stay on this path and see where it takes me. Who am I to try and make my own path, one that leaves somepony I love behind, alone? I couldn't do that. I have two amazing mares that both love me - I should be happy. So why does this hurt so much? Maybe it's because I feel like I'm lying to Cheerilee's face every time I tell her I'm all hers just like she's all mine. Maybe it's because when Silver Spoon tells me she'd never let anything come between us because she loves me, I can't say the same back.

My life is a wreck, and I can't do anything to fix it on my own.

I spent most of the day with Silver Spoon, and I had a lot of fun. We didn't have sex - I didn't even think about it the whole time I was there. We just talked and played around, like she was my best friend, but more than that. As soon as I left I wanted to go back, but I knew Cheerilee would be waiting and wondering where I went. I needed to come up with something to tell her. I figured I could always say I was off with Rainbow Dash, since she probably wouldn't question that.

I trotted inside and she was sitting on the couch like she always was. "Welcome home Scootaloo. I missed you this morning."

She smiled and closed her eyes. Being welcomed home wasn't something I was used to, but it really meant a lot to me. "I missed you too. So, what have you been up to all day?" I trotted in and made myself comfortable next to her on the couch.

"I cleaned your stuff up for you, took care of some important things, and started dinner. There really isn't much to do around her in the summer, ya know?" I cuddled up to her and felt a sweet warmth coming off her thigh.

"Well, there's always me." I grinned and ran my hoof up her leg.

She placed her hoof on mine and surprised me. "Do you want to go out with me? I want to go on a date, or something. I just think it would be nice."

"Cheerilee, are you sure? I don't think we should. You know, I'm technically a filly or whatever, and I don't want you getting in trouble if somepony catches on." Truthfully, I'd be more worried about Silver Spoon catching on somehow.

"We don't have to go out around other ponies, it could be something private. Maybe we could have a picnic somewhere private, or we could go out and stargaze tonight. Oh, or we could take a trip to Canterlot and walk through the garden labyrinth - I hear it's romantic and we'd be alone." It seemed to me that Cheerilee was developing a case of cabin-fever. She'd been cooped up in this house for days.

"We can do whatever you want then, Cheerilee. As long as you think it's safe. I just don't wanna risk losing you - I love you." I felt so warm and comfortable, and the thought of going out on a romantic date with her was actually really nice.

A trip to Canterlot? Just the two of us? It really would be an amazing experience. I'd only been there once, a few years ago on a field trip. I never imagined back then that I'd be here now, with Cheerilee. My little crush that I had held onto for so long had really turned into something worthwhile.

"I love you too Scootaloo. Oh, and I should mention that while you were out today, I started taking care of a few things. I headed down to Town Hall and gathered up all the appropriate paperwork to gain legal custody of you. I sent a notarized letter to your mother asking her to make me your temporary legal guardian and letting her know that I volunteered to take you in after the natural disaster." I guess she had kept herself busy while I was gone after all.

"That all sounds great! Hopefully it works out - I think I have an uncle or something that my mom wanted me to go live with though. I hope she isn't going to try and be as stubborn as usual about that." I'd run away before I had to live with him.

"I know; I noticed he was listed as your next closest blood relative. However, he lives across Equestria in Las Pegasus, and I won't allow you to live so far away from me. I couldn't." Well, at least she'd be backing me up if it came to that.

"Don't worry about that - I'll stay here with you no matter what anypony else wants."

I think I just realized something. Maybe I am choosing my own path after all, or I'm on a path that I haven't chosen, but I'm unable to leave it. Like fate or something. What I'm trying to say is that I'm on this road with Silver Spoon and Cheerilee, and when I try to break away from it I fail. I guess the point is: I have to learn to accept what I've done and where I'm going. The pain that follows is just a natural part of my life and a new lesson for me to learn.

Whatever, I really don't know, but I'm tired and Cheerilee is waiting so,

~Scootaloo, out-

Rainbow cleared her throat. This entry brought up new questions that she felt needed answering immediately: Did Cheerilee get legal custody of Scootaloo? Did Scootaloo ever stop seeing Silver Spoon at all? Is she really powertripping and taking advantage of her situation with Cheerilee? What the hay is going through that little mare's mind? Rainbow's mind was racing in search of answers she didn't have.

She shook her head to clear it, and thought about something more enjoyable. "So Twi, how's that spell coming along?"

Twilight leaned up with a hoof on her forehead. "I'm actually not sure... I think I need to do a few tests first, then I'll have the data necessary to perfect it."

Dash looked at her cock-eyed and placed a hoof on her chin. Twilight glared. "What? Don't look at me like that! Creating spells isn't easy... Experimentation is the key to perfection, and you're going to have to be my test subject. If you don't mind, that is. I'm preparing a few experiments now and I'll be ready to try them out in a few hours. Sorry this is taking so long, just please be patient."

Rainbow shrugged. "Sure thing Twi-Twi, you do what you gotta do. Just let me know, I'm really dying to try that out. In the meantime, I'm going to go pay Scootaloo a visit. I have a few questions for her."

"Really, Dash? Now?" Twilight rolled her eyes.

"Look, we need to get something straight: Scootaloo's life could fall apart any second now and time is ticking away. Twilight, I... it's just... We have the rest of our lives to spend together doing whatever you want, but right now Scoot needs me. That little squirt has really dug herself a hole that she can't climb out of on her own, and I promised I'd be there for her if she ever needed me. I can't break that promise, not to her." Dash took a deep breath and looked her lover in the eye.

"Alright Rainbow, I understand. You're right, I just really have no idea what you're talking about or how much trouble Scootaloo might be in. If it's really that urgent, go ahead. I'll be here when you get back." Twilight smiled and decided to give her lover her full support.

"Thanks Twilight, I knew you'd understand." Rainbow trotted up to her and gave her a hug, then headed out to Silver Spoon's house where she hoped to find her troubled friend.

Here I come kiddo...